In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Gingers, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger.

I like ginger. Ladies, gentlemen, welcome back to Whisky Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.

It's John John Stamos.

And a little bit of Yannis Papa. Another Greek.

It's John Stamos in another Greek. And another beautiful Greek. It's a Greek takeover for Greek Easter. This is the weekend. It's Greek Easter.

I texted him yesterday and I said, What are you doing? He said, Oh, I'm having breakfast with Santino. Then I'm doing this podcast. Can I come? Yeah, please. Here I am, crashing your shit.

No, you're not crashing.

The breakfast with Santino didn't happen. I was sitting in traffic for the breakfast. He ate alone.

But nobody texted me. So I'm over at this restaurant by myself, like a fool with a big hat.

That was deliberate, though.

Well, here's the thing. We just wanted to tell you we're having breakfast, so then John Stamos would be on the street asking women for addresses. I did.

Which is pretty fun. Yeah, you had let a little sweet lady from the nail store lead you down this path.

We recorded it. We recorded it and we're putting it out, especially the conversation we just had about Israel and Palestine.

Yeah, dude, that one we got to talk about actually.

John Stamos on Israel and Palestine.

He's moving to Iran, which I thought was interesting.

I thought that was a weird move for him.

That's just the street. It's in Studio City.

Oh, is that Iran and Studio City? Oh, right. Iran Iran Boulevard.

Yeah, Stamos closed me up. He goes, I'm looking at a villa in Iran, and I'm like, What's going on? He's like, I got to change things up.

Disregard anything.

I got to switch it up, baby.

The beachfront properties in Iran are- Gorgeous.

They're gorgeous. Gorgeous. They are gorgeous. They are understated.

Very understated. It's an up and coming place. It really is.

It really is an up and coming place. I went into the mall yesterday because I wanted to get new cologne. Get out. You're a cologne guy? I'm a I'm a cologne guy. I like cologne. I like a little bit of smell good.

You are a cologne? What cologne did you- You don't like cologne?

I don't like you now. Oh, get it. You don't wear cologne at all?

No, I'm straight. Body odor. I'm natural.

You wear cologne. I know you wear something.

No, I did when I was a kid. I used to borrow my dad's Aramis. Oh, Aramis. And also his members only Jacqueline. But I don't do either of those things anymore.

No cologne at all? No, never.

You get to smell the hair product, right? That's enough. No, I don't have a smell. You can't have three different smells coming off. You have to have a hair product.

When you got lettuce like that. Well, see, that's the thing is I don't put hair product. I don't use smell good body. I use unscented everything because I have sensitive little skin.

What cologne is it? You're sensitive little fucking redhead.

What does it smell like? Let's smell him.

It's called, well, the brand that makes it. It's called Le Labo. It's a rip off. You know these guys. It's disgusting.

How do you do in the sun? You got to go out in a beekeeper outfit to protect yourself from cancer?

This guy.

It's just the only superior thing. Joe Rogan. Is that a joke? Is it a Is that a joke?

Yeah.

You think that's funny?

What do you mean by that? What do you mean, man? No jokes on the podcast.

What are you talking about, man?

Beekeepers. The thing is, you can eat- Here's what I do with the sun. You can eat beerkeeper. At a certain temperature, you can eat these. You just got to pull up the stingers, man.

Pull that up. I can't be out in the sun. I'm not allowed out in the sun. But you know what? I go out, I put on a little bit of sunscreen. I'm fine. I can't go to the beach. What do you do? You go to the beach? No.

I'll tell you, I can say this now. Years ago, I was on, I think it was... I met him a couple of times, and I got a call one day. Hey, hi, John. You want to go to the beach? I'm like, Who is this?

The Beach Boys.

Paul who? Paul Rubens. No, I don't want to go to the beach.

Paul Rubens with Peebie Herman? Yeah. Hi, you want to go to the beach?

You should have gone, man. Take out your penis.

Who invites someone to the beach? It's so weird. But Paul Rubens, that would have gone just for the story.

Yeah, I wasn't hipping up then.

I was like, he got clipped in the weirdest way. Young people don't know who that is. Peewee Herman. I mean, they may know who that is, but he got in trouble for for looted, lascivious acts inside of a pornography.

It just lets you know how far we've come, that that was a big controversy then. If that happened, there was no kids in the theater.

He's cool. He's fine. But that's only because the media was starting to get a hold of stuff. I watched that documentary over the weekend. I've talked to everyone about it, the Rock Hudson one. This guy is so funny. He didn't work at all on trying to hide his sexuality. Everyone around him did. That's what I thought was fascinating. He couldn't care less. He'd go out in West Hollywood. They'd be like, Hey, do you want us to keep it low-key? He's like, I don't give a shit. Get everyone back to the house. And they called it the Castle. He would round up dudes. They'd go to the Castle. He'd have these massive orgies, and then his team would work day in and day out on trying to cover up for all this stuff. And I thought, that's what agents and managers are for.

That's the old Hollywood right there. That's what they should have fucking been doing. They're making you 10%.

Well, now they're a keyboard guy. They just send an email and they're like, Oh, I'm exhausted. They don't do shit.

They go, Do you want me to book the hotel? It's a click away. That's it.

No, they used to have to work around the clock to cover up for Rock Hudson because I guess he couldn't care less.

What about Cary Grant?

Cary Grant was gay, too. She was gay, too?

B bisexual, I think. Yeah. No, there's no such thing. Look, there's pictures of him, and it's a great story. There's a cowboy. What was his name? Randolph Scott, and they're cooking and they're swimming in that little house up in the house.

. Really? Yeah, I think- Yeah. See, I just think it's not... But I don't believe this. Do you believe in this when it's like, there's guys that make this joke that's like, Oh, You get laid so much. You have so many chicks, and then you just switch to guys.

Well, let's ask the next part.

Come on, man. Did you ever want to switch? No. I understand it. See, I don't buy it. You do. I don't buy it.

I understand it. Because you just get bored, right? At a certain point, you'd be No.

No. I mean, never in a million. I would never get bored of it.

But I know somebody, and I'm not going to say who, I think is who you're talking about. We have to guess. It has that characteristic.

We have to say it, and we'll say it on three. I'm not good. One, two, three.

Will Smith. Andrew Santino. Oh, me?

Oh, my God. This went awry. I had no idea.

Before we go too far, I wanted to say I didn't really know him, but Peewee Herman was a good guy, a great- Paul Rubens was a good guy. People loved him.

I thought he was a genius. I remember watching that movie thinking how talented and funny I think he was because my mom and I, my mom and I will have the same sense of humor and we'll share lines from my childhood films that I loved.

Does she just have an Asian person she walks around with and yells at, too?

Yeah, a little fat Asian woman. My mom has a little fat Asian woman. That would be funny. She'll say to me all the time on the phone, obviously, because my name is Andrew, she'll go, Andy. From Peewee Herman. Andy. That big truck driver. But we love that Because you could tell he was doing almost all of it. I don't care what was scripted. He was doing all of it. You could tell it was him. Yeah.

I mean, just being like a New Yorker with a little street smarts watching that show, I had a suspicion that he at least jerked off in movie theaters.

Yeah, but that's fine. I'm okay with that. I'm fine with that, dude. If it's a movie theater, that's what it's for.

Alone, jerking off in a movie theater.

He wasn't at Moana. He was at a porno theater.

But that was a scandal. What was it? The '90s that came out? That came out in the '90s. Early '90s, I feel like, right? That It couldn't be a scandal now.

It was a straight one, too, right? No. It wasn't like a gay totally just like- It was a porno theater.

It was made for it. I don't even understand. I feel like they should, if you're not jerking off, like this guy's insane. Get this guy out of here.

That would be the guy you want to walk. What's wrong with that guy? He was a psychopath that came in a porno theater in a suit. Who's this psychopath that came in a porno theater and didn't make a guy mop up his cum. By the way, is there a worse job than that? The guy that comes out with the- The cleanup crew? Yeah, the cleanup crew.

What's the worst job you ever had?

I think that might be it. You had that job?

Oh, yeah.

That was my job.

That was Blake Salt Lick. Would you go in there and get it up?

Yeah, it's at Tim Dylan's house, and that's how I make a little side money right now.

Hey, can I tell you guys, first of all, I love you both. We love you. I love you, too. I really had such a great time last time I was here with you, Andrew. Yeah, it was wonderful. We texted a few times.

It's because of you, I have no more will to make it any farther in this business. What? Because just being friends with him, I'm like, I'm friends with Stamos. Now, that's bullshit. I made it to the top. I'm friends with Santino and Stamos.

I'm good. I'm fucking good, dude.

All right. I'm fucking good. I don't want any more. I don't want any more of your fucking satanic sex parties. I want out of this town. I don't want the traffic. I don't want the sex.

I ask every podcast person, every smart comic, why is he not bigger? He is bigger. They all say he will be. He's going.

I'm alienating.

Whitney said the best thing. She But look at the... He's a great fucking comic. The audience will come around and discover him.

Well, let's not listen to that pharmacy, but I do agree with the comment.

But I wanted to say that. And then also, like, comedy. I'm getting ready to do... I got to tell you guys I got to turn you guys off the thing, but I'm getting ready to do this comedy-themed podcast. I never wanted to do a podcast, but it's not what you guys do because you're brilliant. But it's a study on comedy. But also, the boom now is incredible, Are you guys just cashing it in and people just white? I think I know why, but talk about it.

Well, I will say this. I'm doing okay. I do think the boom is... I hate to do this. Go ahead. But right before COVID, I've told this story. I remember it was like another little comedy boom was happening, and I was like, Jesus Christ. And Burr walked into the green room of the Comedy Store, and I'll never forget. We're sitting on the couch in the main room, green room. And that night, it was like, Russell Russell Peters, who always drives really fancy cars. Martin Lawrence was coming around with an entourage. All these big famous guys were coming around, and the parking lot was filled with really fancy cars. And Bur goes in and he goes, Dude, you've seen what's going on in the fucking parking lot? And I was like, What? He goes, They're going to fucking audit us. They're going to know. They're going to find out that we're scamming everybody. And I remember walking out and seeing it was a Bentley, a Ferrari, all this stuff because all these big dudes were driving. Kevin Hart has been there. And I thought, damn, this is something's got to bubble over.

Comedy has gotten weird because comedians are like rock stars now. Some of them. And it runs antithetical to what a comedian is. So it's weird.

Well, which happened before, right? If you're a fan of the old days, too. It was like, they made out some of those other guys to be rock stars. Like, Kinison became rock star-ish. Do you know what I mean? They put him on this like- Yeah.

Eddie Murphy came on the leather- Rock star.

Yeah. So it happened before, too. But It looked different.

What's the theory on once they become so rich and stuff, they stop being funny and stop relating to the real world?

I think that's true. Well, the only reason I don't think that's true is if you surround yourself with people who keep you at bay, a Sandler is still funny as fuck, and he's got more money than God. I've seen him live, and that dude not only is a good dude, a fucking hysterical dude, and keeps people around him that don't blow him all day and be like, You're the greatest sad. No, he keeps friends around.

He's working on a sequel to his Hanukah song. Is he really? It's going to be different this time.

What is it?

It's like, Pull out your harmonica, don't hate all of us.

The That's that song. Separate the people from the government.

I mean, dude, on Christmas, the Chinese restaurants are just empty now. They're all ordering seamless. They don't want to go outside.

It can't be seen in it.

Can you get duck on Uber Eats?

Can I get? They're editing their Wikipedia pages. What is it? The early life. It's like, Wasp in German.

Yeah.

My name used to be Weinstein. Now it's Wein.

But I will say this. He's one of those guys. There is a few guys like him that have got very, very rich and successful, still extremely talented and funny. And I do believe that's the key.

His special was so fucking good.

He made me cry. The Farley shit made me cry. And I saw him. He was so cool to us. We were in Detroit. He was playing where the Red Wings We were playing a theater, and he was like-Was that with Binder? Binder was there. Binder was on that show.

And Dave Kouyat showed up.

And he was like, Come backstage and come hang. Come watch the show. And I just was like, This is exactly what I want to be.

He came to a Beach Boys show one night with his family, and I said, What are you doing? I didn't even know. He said, We always dance to Beach Boys in our kitchen, me and my daughters, my wife. And we just looked. When are the Beach Boys? Oh, there they are. And he just showed up at this thing.

Did you ask him to play with you guys?

I asked him to come sit. No, he didn't. And I remember I was so embarrassed because I was running across the street trying to do extra shit. And I tripped on a cord or some shit, and I landed on my guitar, and I slid all the way across the stage. And I got up, I'm okay.

And everybody collapsed. Me and you do that, it ends our career. Yeah. No, yeah. He's your false face first on stage. He came back. He does it. They're like, John's name will slid into fucking rock stardom.

You're like the star of that show now. I saw you at Carnegie. Thank you for the tickets. He was with the Bitch Boys. I went with my wife.

One time I called you from stage.

The audience was a little older now, which is fun and interesting. Not When the hits came up, me and my wife were the only ones who could stand up.

That has to be so wheelchair accessible, that show.

Look, if you want to-It's all ramps. If you got bad seats and you want a great view, it's a good concert to go to. Fuck you.

You want to see 80,000 people at StageStates Coach the other day. Eighty thousand States Coach. It was a religious experience. It was so beautiful to see an audience realize what I feel about that music. It was as though that music was written for that moment that day, and it just lift it. There's Different people from all walks of life there, but a lot of younger people, cowboys and things. It just was like everybody totally united with, Wouldn't it be nice? Fun, fun, fun. Good vibrations. Positivity. Optimism. Kennedy.

Kennedy. Cowboy.

That was a good time. It's over.

Yeah, it's so far gone.

The innocent America is over.

Why do you think their music struck a chord so much? What is that? What do you think it was? I know it's hard to pinpoint it, but when somebody says the Beatles, I go, I think I get it because it was so different and they were so young and they were talking to young people. Were the Beach Boys the same way? Were they talking to young people? Why did they strike a chord so heavily with American people?

The Beatles, you had to think a little bit. It was really ground-breaking stuff.

Is this about LSD? Is Paul dead?

Who's the Walrus?

Yeah, who's the Walrus? Now, the Beach Boys wouldn't it be nice?

Bypasses the brain and it goes straight to the heart. And that's why you see nine-year-olds and nine-year-olds.

That's a beautiful way to say it. It bypasses the brain, goes right to the heart.

That's not the first time he said that. Second.

I did say it on- She could let him fucking have it, will you?

You say quotes all the time.

I know that wasn't off the head.

I know he had- You say quotes all the time, and I don't give you shit. You go from the river to the sea. You say that all the time.

Well, that's why I'm here. I'm here for the UCLA program. You guys are brilliant. That's where I'm staying, actually. Yeah, at UCLA. I'm staying in a tent on the UCLA campus. I'm at John Wooden Hall.

Let's be real for a second so people understand. We have to joke about it because it's fucking insane. It's also our jar, Brogan.

Sorry, we have to joke about it. In here, We pour whiskey.

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Ginger.

I like ginger.

Yeah, but here's part of the comedy. Back to what people are filling stadiums for you guys is that I think people are tired of the woke stuff, right? I mean, people are tired of being so PC.

I just think people are tired of being told of what they should I feel like that's the version that I really buy into because the woke or whatever, the cancel, whatever you want to call it, I don't really buy into that as much as I buy into people don't want to be told what to like. That's it. They just want to like what they like and not be afraid of liking stuff. That's a great point. And the same people that like us may not like someone else. Some people might be like, I can't stand the way that they do comedy or you do this. That's fine. But you shouldn't be afraid to like what you like. That's the way, the irony- That's a great way to put it. Well, the irony of it is staggering. They want you to not be upset at their lifestyle choices, and you're like, I'm not. Then you can't get mad at other people for liking shit that you don't like. I don't give a fuck if you paint your nails. I don't care what lifestyle you live.

Just don't bring it into your home.

Just don't live on my block.

Yeah, just keep it out of my neighborhood.

No, but don't get mad when other people don't like the things that you like. That's fine. You can't shut it down. Just let it exist without you.

Getting back to the Beatles, let it be. Yeah, let it be. But you That's why you'll never see me say anything political, You should do this. You should vote for this.

In public, but in private, you should hear what this guy's got.

It's unbelievable. At a dinner party with him, people know. That's the thing.

People don't want to hear celebrities telling them anything.

You're right. Anything. Except for something fun or anecdotal. That's right. That's okay. They want to hear you go. You know what they want to hear? They want to hear you have an exchange about Adam Sandler coming to see you in the beast. But that's delightful and fun. Well, because also I don't want to hear... Look, I said this the other day to a friend of mine. This is interesting. My parents are very good. One of our best friends, their son and I are best friends, and his parents were more traditionally further left. My parents were not that far left. They got along our whole lives and never- Were your parents Democrats? No. I would say my parents were closer to being conservative, if anything. Remember January sixth? Yeah, that was my dad. The guy with the bullhorn, that was my father.

No, they organized it. They were a little higher ranks than that guy.

Well, our company organized it.

That was Red Hair and not blood.

Yeah, Red Hair. It was called the Red Haring Organization.

No, but back then, it wasn't a big deal. My parents were the same thing.

You didn't peed on other people's shit. If you were a Democrat, if they were Republican, we still had dinner together. Now, it's like you Fuck that.

I think my dad switched from Republican to Democrat like 18 times. Oh, really? Yeah, you got to keep flip-flops. He had his own business. He didn't eat it. He was like, I don't know, whatever is better for this networking.

What's going to save me money.

Yeah, he had his own private practice. You didn't You didn't filter your friends based on their politics back then at all. That generation didn't do that at all.

No.

It's different now because it's very hard to stand for certain things.

It's doing something to our The business, for sure. I think that's a big... They've let the business be overtaken by political ideologies infusing themselves in the business. When we could just make fun, stupid shit and not care.

I'm so sick of hearing woke. I'm I'm so sick of wokeness. I'm sick of the anti-woke now.

No, I'm more annoyed by anti-woke.

Yeah, anti-woke is. I'm just...

Who started that woke?

The word woke? Yeah. It was a Black word originally. Like stay woke.

Another thing we stole.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Music. We gentrified even their language.

No, no, no. Black people are so cool that not only we steal all that, then people start stealing their struggle. Right. They're just like, I'm South Asian. I I'm only the star of a movie. There's a cartoon that hurts my feelings. You're like, Oh, yeah. I know what's going on here. They're still in their struggle, too. I see this. I see what's going on.

I see what's going on.

I see you wearing those fly Jordans, and now also slavery for you. Oh, there was a cartoon that hurt my feelings. I know it was just like slavery. I think it was a little bit of that, too. It was. Now, it's like everyone just had the Black struggle. It's like, you know?

Yeah. Well, you in particular, though.

Me in particular, I've had a tough struggle.

You got beat as a kid or no?

A little bit, yeah.

Did you get beat as a kid? Is that a Greek thing? No.

He had a fucking beautiful child, and his parents were beautiful. There's nothing wrong with them. He was born with talent and a face. But do Greeks beat their kids? He's a rock star, and he's funny, and he could act. I mean, something's wrong. What is it?

Well, you know what it is.

Do you at least have a fungal infection? Is there anything negative about your living?

I have a fucked up bellybutton, and then I got it fixed, and now I don't have one.

What was it? Or an Audi, I mean? Yeah, I had an Audi. You had an Audi and you got it pushed in? Yeah. Wait, I was going to- That's the most controversial Hollywood surgery of all time.

You meet Stamos and you think it's got to be a dark side. I haven't seen it yet. Well, I'm sure. He made videos for my cousin who's unfortunately ill. He's helped her get... He just is a nice guy, too, on top.

We're going to find out. Isn't that fucking infuriating. Well, if we keep poking at it, we'll find out what it is. There's got to be something. You might have sunspots on your penis or something like that. No, I'll show you.

This room in here, this podcast room is as cold as that fucking court where Trump is. I'm freezing my ass off my nipples. Is it too cold? My nipplesIs it to get the nipples?

We'll turn off the air. Hey, Coney. It's fine.

Cone. No, you know what?

I want him. You want the temp. See, this is good.

Hey, slave boy, change the temp in here.

Mccone.

Before this hot-headed fucking Italian Mick really gets mad at you.

What's your boy's name again?

I don't remember. I call him boy. Hey, boy. What's his name? I don't remember it. I don't know his name.

Will you click on that? Push on that. Where did Macone go? Did he leave?

What was your name again?

Click it. Push it. You never operated one of these things? Your name's boy, right? No, push it, and then go to the far left. Turn the dial.

Where's Bobby Lee?

And don't look at Stamos in the eye.

Keep going.

It's Sir Stamos to you.

One more. Now push the middle again.

You could look at me.

Now scroll down to off.

What's your name? You see it?

Off?

Yeah, we did it. What's your name? Christian. Okay.

Christian is the man. You guys are terrible. Rachel Feinstein is calling me. Please don't tell anyone.

Yeah, answer her.

Her new name is Rachel Lawrence. She edited her Wikipedia. Did she really?

No, I'm just probably- She wanted to get away from Feinstein? Yeah, I think that's- Because Diane?

Well, they're just scared. I understand, dude. You go on X, and you're like, Jesus Christ, there's a Nazi rally on there.

On what? On X. Oh, on Twitter.

Where the truth rains on X.

That's insane. I have zero interest in X.

Do you like Elon?

Zero interest in that.

Or do you like NWO, Elon?

I like NWA more than anything. I like NWA Elon.

Because he went from Hulk Hogan to Hollywood Hogan a little bit, didn't he?

Yeah, 100%. He switched. Maybe he's becoming a heel on purpose. It is funny to see all these rich guys flop I like that. Zuckerberg now is into MMA hardcore. I couldn't see anybody less interesting in my life than gets into something like that. You're like, really? You like that?

He's into MMA, but he still got that same voice. So I heard him talk about it.

I can't wait to see some of the submissions that happened this evening. The card is going to be really great. That's the weirdestest shit to watch. Andrew does good voices. Oh, he's great. But the transitionary period that's happening for people like Elon now is full trying to take on controversy because I think it's interesting to him. Yeah. He thinks it's fun. Oh, yeah. He thinks it's fun.

I think he's like a bored billionaire. He's bored.

Yeah, he's bored out of his mind.

And he's still not fucking guy.

See, you're bored, but he's still not doing a thing that you did.

You got a good point.

I found really some... I think it was Bogart was so fucking smart that he would pick fights with people because that would stimulate his- Humphrey Bogart would just want to try to test somebody's patience.

That's fun. You do that sometimes. I do that. Yeah, because you're very smart. That's just smart people do that. Intelligent people like to pick fights because they know that they can beat You've been so funny on your Patreon.

Is that what it's called? Yeah. I listen to it all the time. Thank you.

I'm proud of those. You're so fucking- Patreon.

Com/iannispapasauer. Patreon. Com/iannispapasauer.

Is he one of the smartest comics out there, though? Seriously.

Most definitely. I would say that He's easily one of the most intellectual comedians that exists. Not on stage, but in his- Or off stage, but in his heart, in his mind. In his heart in his room at night when he colors, when his kids go to bed and he colors. Got two daughters. No, I would say you are. I think it's more I'm trying to think about who the dumbest comics on Earth are.

I think it's great for us to compliment- Christian, he closed the- His name's boy. It's great to compliment each other on this podcast just for the internet to just light up comments.

Yeah. Why does that- You know what I'm saying? Smart for shit. Fuck that. Dummy. Yeah. Do they do that? Yeah. There's always a couple of people on the internet that can't wait to say something.

Every time you do a podcast, the comment section just lights up that Stamos is on blow again.

I The very first time I did your thing.

How much blow has this guy done? They just always think you're on blow.

People say that about me. They think I'm on Adderall or cocaine all the time. This is my natural progression.

Anyway, I can't get it.

Let me ask you then, when you shot TV, when you did a show, was your energy like this as well, and then you had to hone it in to get ready or no? Were you always this energetic and up and upbeat? Yeah, but right now, I'm not focused. But that's so funny because when I'm on set for hours and I become a sloth, it's so hard for me to keep the energy up.

But sometimes it's- Do you burn out? Sometimes it's good because early on, I was trying to do so much because I thought I needed to do all this to be interesting. But when I really just go, Don't move, John Stamos. Just listen, boom. That's where I think I'm at.

That's the most settled you've ever-When you think, do you refer yourself as John Stamos?

Because you just refer to yourself as John Stamos, and I fucking dug it. And that's the way I always thought it goes. If I was John Stamos, I'd be like, What does John Stamos want to do today?

Some actors come out of the gate and they're fucking brilliant. Dicaprio, Jennifer Lawrence. In some, it takes 25 years, and I think that's-Clooney?

Is he a 25-year guy? He was in it for a long time before he got famous. What do you think about you?

What do you think about you as far as drama acting? Do you think it took a long time or do you think you got that right? Because you were comedic and you have a comedic energy, right? Full House was comedic. You have a musical energy. He's winking. I love it. Can you do like a Darren Aronowski movie right now? I would love it.

Yeah.yeah, I would love to. I fought all that shit so much. Why? After Full House, because it's like, I'm not that mullet-headed. And I went to do theater. I did a bunch of Broadway. I did some nice people's... I did ER four years ago. But when I went to... I was doing The Best Man with James Earl Jones on Broadway. It was a Gore Vidal political show. It could work great right now. Four hours, something like three and a half hours. And it was the last day, and we're walking across the stage. This is James. I came close to him. I called him Big Daddy.

You said, Do the Darth Vader voice just once for me.

That's it. That was it.

I said to him, I go, You've done something that no one has done. You've given me real legitimacy. I'm a real actor up here. I got to be toe to toe with you, folks. I thank you, and I love you for that. The stage door opens and, Uncle Jesse, uncle Jesse. Say, Have mercy, said, and I turned red and I couldn't even look at him. He's standing there and then all of a sudden I hear, James, say, Luke, I am your father. I just looked at him and he looked at me and he just had that big belly laugh and said, Fuck it. Fuck it. Call me Uncle Jesse. Call me. You know, whatever you want to do. You owned it.

You had that same call with me.

That's so beautiful, though. Because that is so true. But you aren't just that, but that is a piece of you. And when people think they want to erase it, well, it's like, why? That's going to be... It's not what you want to be all the time, but it does exist. It's fine. It's all right. It is what it is.

You know what? It's made a beautiful life for me and my family. And I love getting I recognize. I love being famous, and that's a big part of it.

You deserve it, though. That's why.

I got to do all the... I mean, I've... Er was a heavy duty show. I did that for four years, worked with some of the best doctors in town. I've done Broadway. I just did a show. It hasn't been announced yet, but there's some real- Announce it, baby. What's that?

Announce it on this show. Announce it on this show.

Come on, let's make this there.

When is there?

Whenever you want it there. A couple of weeks.

Come on, go for it.

Anyway, well, I was working with some fine actors, and it was great.

The legitimacy thing is very interesting when you say that. When somebody goes, Oh, I want to be taken serious as an actor. I've met so many people who, because they played a character or a role on a thing, have an assumption that America doesn't take them serious. But everyone who works with you does. That's what's hard about… It's hard to translate that to people that you're like, No, man, they just played a character. I love when somebody goes, That guy seems like a dick. And it's like, How do you know? And they go, The show I watched him on, it's like, That was a fucking thing he was doing. He was playing a thing.

Well, you said that to me. You were like, I feel like a real actor. I called you up, I was like, hey, you're like, I feel like a real actor. I'm like, John Seena. It was me and John Seena. And I was like, that's my brand, though. You said that to me. You said that's my brand.

But he's a hustler.

No, no. Santino said the same thing. John Seena had a moment. He goes, you know what? He was like, that scene, a tear came to my eye. And then Santino calls me. He goes, My acting hero, John cena, just called me up and told me that I moved him in his scene, and I feel legitimate now. I said, Stop it right now. Yeah, that's stupid. I want to hear, I'm Bobby's mom right now. Do my, I'm Bobby's I'm Bobby Mom.

And then that was it. I hung up the phone.

That's your thing now. Do people go up and go, Do Bobby's Mom?

People do that. Yeah. Well, I hear it a lot at the airport. I'm going to go, Bobby Mom.

It's got like a 300 million views.

It's insane. I'll hear that at the airport a lot, which, by the way, I laugh it off. It makes me, or I'll go, That's right, buddy. It'll be with my wife somewhere. I'm like, Yeah, that's right, buddy. I have to take it.

It's tough because you got to think- That's my uncle Jesse. He's got to take it. I'm Bobby Mom.

It doesn't bother me. It's funny.

It hurts. You're going to maybe have an injury from that because you got to cross-side to do it.

No, I've I do it at night. I get in front of the mirror and I train. I like how you say Cina is my brand. That's one of the funny things.

Yeah, Cina is your brand. When you called me, that was your moment that he had with James Earl Jones. Yours was Cina. Yeah, same thing.

James Earl Cina.

John's the fucker, by the way, for the very serious record. One of the fucking nicest, coolest dudes I've ever worked with. And I've worked with a lot of fucking guys that are big shots. That guy is fucking no joke.

The transition you've made is pretty remarkable. I'm not done.

I'm halfway through, but as soon as my voice drops, it'll be full. The boobs. Well, I'm not going to get my tits done yet. Why? I just don't know. I don't know. Yannis actually told me I look better with small little titties like I've got right now.

I've never been a tick. I've never been a tick, gal.

You've made a transition into acting pretty smooth, man. A lot of comments don't.

I tried. I mean, look, I'm- You're good, but you're a really good actor. Well, I love you. Thank you. He's good at everything.

He's good acting, good stand-up.

I thought about this the other day. Honestly, I was driving past- A good guy, down to earth guy.

No, I'm up above. I was expecting. I haven't seen you since your numbers have boop, boop, boop, boop. Shut up. Same Same fucking guy when I walked in.

As long as you and I have been friends, nothing will change.

Yeah, same guy. I always check for that, too. I'm like, same guy. Because sometimes you got to give your friends a little space when they really pop. No. You got to adjust.

I'm the same loser. I was driving past Paramount the other day, and I thought it really was interesting because a guy at the comedy store said, I was talking to a kid in the audience, a really good-looking kid, and he said he moved here from England to be a writer. And I was just improvising this bit about how England only sends over good-looking people. There's almost no... There is a lot of ugly people in England, I'm sure, but we don't get any over here. When they come to LA, it's like they hand-select pretty Brits. But for the most part, the real, the bald-headed football hooligans are like, Bings on toast. That guy's I don't get those guys. They don't send him here.

Amsterdam gets a lot of those guys.

Oh, yeah, that's where they go. That's where they go. For hookers. Yeah, for hookers. But I said, They send over this good-looking young guy, and he's like, I said, Write me in something then if you're a writer. And he said, I'd love to, but you're probably busy. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm so busy. I'm at the fucking improv at a 713 show. And it made me think when I drove past Paramount, I thought, Man, I haven't gotten a fucking audition. I haven't gotten a call in a while. I think people think because you did one thing that you're just getting flooded with shit. But it's like, no, dude, there's huge gaps of where it's nothing.

There's just nothing. It comes when you don't-When you're not trying to grab it.

That's why you just got to sit and let it happen. But it is a fucking weird fickle business where I just can come off of doing a few sitting- You sitting in fucking uncomfortable. Testicles.

You don't like it? No. Where did you get these off the fucking madman set?

1976. Yeah, these are actually originally vintage chairs. Was everyone just uncomfortable in the '50s? You know who didn't complain about these? John Stammer. John Stammer. Not once.

He's in a much more uncomfortable seat than I am.

Yeah, by far.

He doesn't care. Well, actually, that's more comfortable. I mean, were they just uncomfortable in the '50s. They had to sit in this loop in suits.

This is uncomfortable to you? I'm very uncomfortable. What is it? It's the back. Oh, you have a bad back?

No, I don't have a bad back.

I have a bad back. I have a bad personality. I have a bad back. But it's not because- You have a bad personality. Yeah, you do.

That's why I'm not huge.

Your story is so fascinating with your mom and your brothers. She was a borderline personality. That you got shot. Did you talk about all that stuff? I had trauma.

I was left alone with my brain injured brother. That's where the trauma started. I'm learning all this in therapy.

How much are you going on a therapy weekly?

I'm on a spiritual journey right now. You're going to therapy weekly? Weekly, yeah.

Man or woman, therapist.

Woman. You got to go woman.

See, that's interesting. I've done both. I've had both. Sometimes I like the man more because I feel like he is judging me. Even though that's supposed to, it's nice. I can feel the judgment pouring out of another man.

I think it's Probably the therapist you prefer is probably based on what- What your issue is.

What your issue is. And yours is with your mom. Other issues, yeah. And mine's with my papa.

Yeah, that's what- What's yours?

Is it female?

Female. Who's yours with? I have two.

Who's my wife? I have a backup.

I have a spare.

Who's your childhood issue with, if any?

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Ginger. I like ginger.

Was there one bully that fucking really got to John Stamos? Yeah, you read my book.

I mean, we talked about last summer.

I know, but what's his name? Call him out again.

I want to see a fucking death match between you and Rob Lowe to the death.

He's dead, isn't he?

I thought he dead. Is he dead? He's Rob Lowe dead. That's not nice.

That's so mean. We're kidding. Knock on wood.

We tease each other because people always say, Hey, Rob Yeah. His kid always posts pictures of him, but it puts my face-You look nothing like fucking Rob Lowe.

No, but it's the motif. You just both are beautiful. Well, what? Because you're both good-looking?

Black hair. Yeah, they're both very good-looking.

Well, that's like, do you remember I saw a picture someone did side-by-side of celebrities from then and now, and it was so creepy because Margot Robbie does look shockingly like... Was it Jamie Presley? Is that her name? Yes.

I saw them.

They look identical. They put them side by side. It was like, holy fuck. And they did this to a lot of celebrities where they were like, you don't even realize how close they look, even though it's just generationally.

It's just father for conspiracy. People go, they're cloning people. I hope they are. I've heard conspiracies that Chapelle is cloned now, that that's not the real Chapelle.

Well, that's also true. That's true, right? Because I've seen the real Chapelle is in France, which is crazy.

Did you see the one with Yannis and Hercel? Side by side?

Side by side, yeah.

No. My nickname from my previous podcast was Special Needs Stamos. Because people do sometimes on a good hair day, people be like, You look a little like Stamos. But if a chromosome was Michel- Can I tell you something? You look nothing. I look nothing like him.

It's just Greek.

No, he thought I get it sometimes.

No, not even a little bit. You look like a cartoon of a Greek guy that came to life.

I do have a a cartoonish face, right? My face is off.

Your eyes and your nose look like they drew it.

Here's a funny thing. This is a true story. This is true. I'm not even making this up. This is true. I'm not even making this up. This is true. I wish it So you know clear, right? You know CLEAR at the airport? Oh, at the airport? Oh, yeah. Sometimes you go, Which line am I going to go? Pre-check. So I went. When I was coming out late, I go on the CLEAR. My eyes never work on the CLEAR. I wish I was making this up. It's true. They don't make up. They look like they don't work on the clear. So I get in, I get in, I get closer, and they keep doing it. And I just go, This never works. So the guy goes, Hey, he goes, Do the fingers. The fingers work immediately. And then he fixes it. He redoes my face. He's like, we'll take care of this now. So he re-photos my face. Do it again. He's like, all right, I think we got it now. He's like, all right, try it now. Take your glass off. I went in there, and it did just... I think they're too close together and the lasers can't separate.

So it just does it. It goes not identified. It just my eyes are so close, the lasers can't separate.

That's not nice. Well, you can do eyes, fingers or tongue. I do tongue now. You put the tongue on there. You don't do tongue? You put the tongue on there. Well, you kiss one of the TSA agents and they go, Come right through. They go right in. Yeah, they let you right on the fucking plate. I don't do the clear thing anymore because I don't like that. I don't know who runs that.

Is this a joke? Are you guys doing a joke?

No, that's a third-party company. I don't understand. I don't like that.

You're one of those? I don't care, dude. What do you mean? I don't give my DNA to 23andMe. I don't talk to Blacks. Yeah, of course, I don't give my DNA to the fucking-I don't talk to Blacks because I don't know about what's going on.

I don't know what they're up to. No, I don't give my fucking DNA away to people. I don't give a shit, dude.

I don't care either. I haven't done anything wrong.

You said your DNA in John Stamos to 23andMe. Do whatever you want my fucking DNA.

I did that show where they take I traced your ancestor, and I went back to Greece.

So they drew your blood and did it?

No. I spit in something.

The same thing.

Guys. But I don't know. I never got the results.

What's the name of that show?

This is your Life? No, it was called Who Do You Think You Are.

But isn't that the exact same thing? Remember, This is your Life, right?

No, I flew to Greece, and I was waiting for them. What did they find out? I know. You wait for the punchline like, Oh, your relatives were slaves or whatever, like Ben Affleck. And so you're like, Is this it? Is this where I'm supposed to cry? I never knew when it was. What was the big secret? Well, my great-grandfather got in this little town that they lived in by a guy who... My grandfather was named after John. So I was named after this killer who killed my great grandfather. There was a Koliopoulos family and Stamatopoulos family. And we're walking through the village and my cousin happened to still live there. I said, the Koliopoulos, they still live?

Still like a vendetta there. Really? Now, do you feel like... Do any Greeks ever-Six generations later, that's fucking wild. Do you feel like a Greek sellout because you cut your name?

My grandfather cut it. Oh, he cut it first. Stamotopoulos. What's yours again?

Mine originally was Pipis, which means little boy penis. I don't know. That's true, too.

I know that's not true. That's so annoying because it got me. It's so true. It's not little boy penis. It is true.

I was in Greece.

It is true. My original name and my dad's penis was very small. But my grandfather changed it to Pappas when he got to Ellis Island.

And yours was Stamotopoulos? Stamotopoulos. Stamotopoulos. Well, this is a weird mystery. I've told you. I think I told you this. My last name, Santino. Santino is traditionally a first name in Italy. Sunny. Sunny from the godfather of Santino. Corleone. He died. We don't know what my real last name was.

Spitten a tube.

I know I might. Now, you don't do that. You don't give your DNA.

I don't want to for that. Why? But I'm interested because we don't think… The rumor was my great grandfather changed the fucking name because of something to get in the country and just said his name was Santino. But I, jokingly on stage, I'm always like, That's because he was so… I come from such dumbos. That surname, he thought it was like, Sir, name? And so Santino. Yeah, like a fucking idiot. But I don't know what… I don't think we know what our lineage really is. So I'm curious. I mean, I know we're from… I We said this before. We're from a part of Sicily called... Africa. Well, yeah, Sicily. But Irish, too. We're part of Sicily called... I thought it was K'Achamo. That's what I had heard. So then I go to Sicily and I said to a guy, We're on the western Coast of Sicily. And I said, Excuse me, do you know where's K'Achamo? And he goes, K'Achamo? No, no, no. K'achamo? No, no, no. K'achamo? And he's talking to somebody else. The other guy's like, No, no, no. K'achamo? No, no. And then he goes, Oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Si, si. K'amo?

No, K'a. K'a. K'omo. I was like, I think I'm going to go home with K'a. I'll stick with Katch.

Did you have any Ottoman in there? Did you have any-Any Ottoman Empire running through your blood? Any Turkish in there in your DNA?

I did this spit thing, but they never gave me the results to it.

Yeah, they're probably scared to tell To be the truth. I think so.

I have a lot. But you were out of it? Oh, yeah, you told me that. That's why you hate yourself.

33 %.

That's the eyes. 33 %? They had to be ready for battle. They had to look forward all the time.

You're a prey then, right? Yeah. In that.

Well, yeah, because my dad was in the head.

No, but I mean, your eyes are close together. Predators could get you. Isn't that how that works? That's what it is.

I can't. No, I'm predator because predators look forward. Predator, yeah. The prey has the... Because they're always looking out for-Oh, you're about.

Predators are always focused forward. Prey is always on the fucking... That's why, what do they call those? That's why I'm not allowed to be- Those fish that have the eyes on the side of their fucking head.

So we're prey. At least that's what the legal document says. I'm not allowed to be around schools. Can you make that joke anymore? You did? Yeah, I did.

When you say schools, you mean community colleges? I mean, yeah. That's because they're afraid of your intellect. They are. Get this too smart guy off here.

What stuff are you guys working on? To put in your act?

Right now, I'm doing a new hour. I'm fishing through a new hour. A lot of it's about my dad.

You did a lot of stuff about your dad in the first special.

Yeah, but a lot of stuff is about... This is about my dad's... This is a lot of stuff about my parents are older and retired now, and they're settling into the ways of their life, and I'm watching it happen so quickly. Sadly? Yeah, it's weird. It's just because we're getting older and I see them getting older, and now they're just getting so settled in their ways.

I think you should recommend Q-Nan to old people because it's fun for them.

Q is for the elderly.

Yeah, I think it's more like I think I can see it being like a prescription for old age.

Does it give them something to do? Because it's fun.

You get into a new adventure. Q-nan has all these theories, and it's fun.

I have a joke in this hour that I don't care, I'll give, but it's just a piece of it. But I say, my dad sits around all day. He loves ancient Aliens. Like, he fucking... I'm serious. He's obsessed. I said, My dad loves ancient aliens, which is ironic because he hates illegal aliens. And I said, Dad, they both built the pyramids. You can't pick and choose between who gets what. But I joke about my dad's... He's investing His investments now are very specific. It's really weird. Where he used to be more... He was just a dad. He was like, I don't know. Now he loves... He's obsessed with stuff. He's getting really into stuff, which is where Q starts. Yeah, that's where it starts.

That's where it starts. He's in the gateway. He's right at the door.

He's doing this, looking inside.

That's the marijuana of conspiracies as aliens.

Ancient Aliens is the weed of conspiracy.

Let me ask you this. The Pyramids, nobody knows who built them. Is it possible it was six time traveling Mexicans?

Five.

Maybe five could have done it.

Yeah, five.

Nobody can figure it out.

I'm like- Six time traveling Mexicans in one small car in a two-seater. That's all it took.

I think that's- In a DeLorean. That's a viable explanation.

Well, Afrodite said, not tonight, I'm on my pyramid.

Have you ever seen- Afrodite said what?

Not tonight, I'm on my pyramid.

Dude, I'm putting an addition on the house right now. Did you miss this great joke?

We did a two-seat DeLorean with six Mexicans in their time traveling. Come on, man. Let's go.

Let's fucking go, baby.

Do you guys- Take me back to 1985. That's not when the pyramids were, man.

I think they probably put it up in a week. I think they went back and put it up in a week.

You should see, they just built a new thing in my house. It's fucking incredible.

I've never seen anything like it, dude. I'm putting an addition on my house right now. My property looks like the Rio Grande. I mean, it looks like the fucking border. There's just Mexicans all over the place. It's just crazy. You go to the bathroom, you come back, and then it's done.

Yeah, most talented people on Earth.

But it didn't need to be like that, right? It took forever to get one little thing done.

The pyramids, quite frankly, were probably built by another entity. Yeah, there's no doubt. Humans couldn't have built it.

Is that Who are you call time traveling Mexicans? I'm telling you, it was time traveling Mexicans.

It had to be something.

I'm telling you, that's what it was.

I watched a whole documentary about how they would move stone with water. There was a guy who did a physics thing about how you could shift stone with water.

This is another one of Rogan's that loves pyramids. Yeah. Oh, he's big? Oh, dude, he's big on the pyramids, grizzly bears.

Perfectly aligned to true north and all that shit.

If the pyramids or the grizzly bears come up, you're bombing on his episode.

I'll tell you what I'm more interested in. How about this? I'm more interested in who builds When you see the history of any of those bridges, like New York and all that shit, the amount of guys that went down there and died and just took us- It was just Irish guys.

At that point, it was just Irish guys. My people. Yeah, the wafts just like, you guys were extendable. Go get to the bottom. Next up.

All right. Well, if there is a potato down there, I guess I'll go down. I'll fucking go.

Yeah, that was like the working class. They'd boat them in. Another crop would fall off into the water.

They'd boat in another crop. Have you ever seen those signs, Irish need not apply? Have you ever seen that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We might have one in my house.

I went out. No, we have one at my grandma's, Irish need not apply. They used to put that outside of storefronts in New York. You don't know about this?

How do you feel about the Irish?

I'm half Irish. My mother was Irish.

That's why when we kiss, I can feel it. Yeah, you could tell.

I'm I can feel. My wife is half Irish, too. Is she? So my kid is more Irish.

Your wife's Asian and Irish?

Mm-hmm. Filipino and Irish.

Dude, you mix Asian with anything. It's just hot.

Asian and Irish is stunning. Yeah, she is. You've seen his wife? She's beautiful. I'm trying to do an accent of a Filipino Irish person. It's almost impossible. Yeah, but still, you got to get the Irish in there somehow.

I thought Joe Koy did good.

He was just too meek, right? Did you guys...

Here's the thing with that.

I thought he did good at the Oscar. We don't deserve to host anything ever again, by the way. And that's not Joe Koy's fault. Why do you want us? Why do you want us? You don't want us. They should just get a fucking AI screen up there.

I think Jimmy Kimmel should host all those.

No, I don't think anybody should.

He He does it perfectly. He goes in there, write. He doesn't kiss up. It's just a perfect delivery.

The problem with what happened with Joe was that everyone in the audience goes, Who's this fucking guy making fun of us? If Jeff Ross hosted that, it would have been great.

Joe needed in Gracie himself a little bit. That was tough. But it's also what a fucking hard gig to even walk in.

I think he should have went harder. No, I think it was the opposite. I think he was like,. It's like, come on, dude.

No, but he can't go in too hard. We're not there anymore. No, but they don't know him. I think John's right. They don't know him. It's too hard. That's too hard to... Dude, you know what that's like?

He let down Filipinos. He let down Filipinos.

Did that hurt his... I mean, no. He was good.

He's fine. I think Filipinos- Joe Poey is so fucking fine. He's funny, and he's... That's a hiccup that no one will care about or remember in a couple of years.

I watched it. I didn't even think it was that big of a hiccup.

I thought the jokes were fine. I like him as a guy, so I was like, this doesn't bother me even a little bit. But people just... I think people, like we were saying before, people are wanting to want to be fucking annoyed by It gives them something to say Monday morning to their friends at the fucking office.

Well, if they have anger, too, which a lot of people do, where do we funnel it?

I need to funnel it. Where does it go?

Did you guys watch the correspondence there?

No. I thought it was really... Who did it this year?

Joast.

Colin did it? He's a fucking phenomenal writer.

Did he get lit up in the fucking comments?

Was that? Really? Oh, God. He got hammered, right?

He got hammered. I love Joast.

I think he's a fucking great writer. My father said I voted for Joe because he's a decent man in the fucking comments.

That's bullshit. I thought his thing was beautiful. I'm staying out of it.

I'm apolitical. I'm on a new mission. I'm not saying anything polarizing.

My boy, Matt. Have you guys met Matt, friend? You did, right? I know him.

Yeah.

Did he come? Did he do this?

No, I met him. You did, too. I know Matt. He's an impressionist and stuff. He's great. That guy's fucking incredible.

He's blowing up and he's great.

His stern is like, perfect.

It's spot on.

I got him on that show. You got him on Stern? Yeah. He'll call me every seven times a Can you get him on?

He does impersonations, too.

Let's hear.

You could do Bur.

You did a good Bobby's Mom. You could do Bobby's Mom.

He'll do Bobby's Mom. I'm Bobby's Mom. There, that's good. Don't steal my shit, dude. This is all I've got.

He doesn't have to do anything with his eyes.

Are you really close with Stern?

Yeah, I don't have to. That was a good one. Don't let fucking Stables lose that one. He doesn't have to do anything with his eyes. That was a good one. I don't have to do anything with it. Yeah.

I can just close one a little bit. That's perfect.

I'm Bobby's Mom. There it is. See, I don't have to do it.

Matt did a bit at the correspondence dinner, and they didn't position him great because The lady was talking, and then he got up and started doing Trump, and it was that. I was like, Who the fuck is this guy? And it was him. But that motherfucker, he has the grace and the... You guys have. You've been doing it 20, 30 years. He just turned it around and went right into his Mitch McDonald.

He's really good, though. No, he's very, very good.

Have you heard Soda's Cat Williams?

First of all, Soda's everything. Soda's the best. Dan Soda is the most talented voice actor. Which one is he? Dan Soda. You know him and I tested for SNL together. It was me and him and Pete Davidson. Oh, really? Yeah. You know that? I didn't know you were there. Me, Soda, and Pete were the three. When was that? A while ago. Well, what is that? Almost 10 years ago now. Would you do it now?

Would I do SNL now?

No. I mean, I would be a musical guest before I would do anything else. I don't even do music. Musical guest. Bobby's Mom.

I'm Buffy's Mom.

I'm Buffy's Mom. Every 22-year-old, Did you hear that Bobby's Mom hit it? It's a fucking jam, dude. No, I would never. I have no interest in it. A dream would be to host it, but That's never going to happen.

What about that guy who came back and hosted who got kicked off earlier?

Shane Gillis? Yeah. He's one of the best working comics today. He is.

I wish he was- He's such a funny guy.

He's probably the best. He's a- Gillis is a fucking beast. He's so funny.

He's so funny. He does everything he does.

He's undeniably funny. Even the show that said fuck off to him had to be like, Come on back. You know what that's like? That's like getting rejected by the hottest chicken school. And then you're like, fucking whatever. And then a week later, she's like, Do you want to hang out? It's so cool that he was like, Yeah, I'll come over there and talk the shit out of you, you goofball. He won that war so hard, and he didn't even have to do anything.

And I bet you everyone there felt safe with him there.

I don't even think people felt unsafe. By the way, everybody that was on that show casted on that show, they all like him. Nobody had beef with Shane.

Even the Asian gentleman?

Nobody had beef with Shane. Nobody. I think that was all inflated by the fucking media, which is what got him fired in the first place, was the media inflation of something that didn't exist. Bowen Yang is who you're talking about, right? Bowen fucking likes Shane. What does he have with Shane? Shane and him don't.

There's nothing there. When you meet him, he's It's an impossible guy not to like as a person.

He said one thing once. We've said 17 things on this. Oh, Jesus Christ. Don't go to my Patreon.

Jesus Christ.

No, do go to his Patreon. Yannis Pap is live.

But thank God you guys stay true to yourselves.

Well, it's just a fucking joke. At the end of the day, it's like none of this is to target and hurt people. People are out there targeting and hurting people. They're actually doing it.

It's hard to be funny if you're thinking about censoring yourself because that's the opposite of what comedy is. Nobody When you're a class clown, when you're growing up, it's not because what you did was well thought out. It's all about saying the wrong thing.

Have I told you that story when I was in... What grade was I in? I had to be in a junior high, maybe sixth grade.

It looks to me like what grade? How do I know?

Well, you remember. You were around. Yeah, that's true. In sixth or seventh grade, something like that, there was a girl in our class who was getting brain surgery to remove something. Hilarious, by the way. I know. Get ready. She had to get a surgery. Obviously, look, we were taught that it was also like, she's She's going to be okay. She's removing something, but she's going to be fine. But send her some love. Not funny anymore. Then the whole class had to sign a card. It was one of those big, oversize gold, those old- What did you write? I wrote, at the time, Dumb & Dumber was hot in my world. I just wrote, Don't you go dying on me? Because he says that. Come on, dude. Isn't that fucking- That's great. That's what he says to the little old lady on the cart. That was a piece of my life at that point. I wrote, Don't you go dying on me? A sweet thing. It invoked so much anger. They wanted to suspend me. They were like, This is disgusting. I was like, I thought a little bit of comedy, a little bit of levity.

Everyone's writing in there like, I will pray for you and God will be watching your surgery. I was like, Don't go die in on me.

Yeah, it's great.

Did she die?

She died. Well, that's what comedy is for. She's alive and well and healthy. But it was also like, if I I censored myself, but it was all in good fun and everyone thought it was funny except for fucking the staff. By the way, she thought it was hilarious. It was just the staff was- Let's stop pretending that life is easy and it's good.

It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare, and that's what comedy is for. That's why Life is Beautiful was such an impactful movie because he's trying to do this for his son, and he uses comedy. I mean, that's what comedy's function is. It's to allow us to be able to emotionally survive this fucking ball of pain floating in nothing. I mean, it's frightening. The less aware you are, the better. And comedy is a nice way to deal with the horror of life.

This is why when someone says, Why do people smoke? Even though they know it's going to kill them, it's that exact reason. Because you're like, Well, because this is already fucking wild.

Smoking is going to kill me. Yeah, well, isn't being alive also going to kill me? Can I enjoy myself a little bit?

Do whatever you feel like doing. In here, we pour whiskey.

This episode of Whisky Junior is brought to you by Betterhelp. I've talked about Betterhelp quite a lot on this show. That's because I believe in it. That's because I use it. That's because I like it a lot. I've been using therapy for quite a long time now. I do believe we've spoken on this show about me suggesting therapy for people. I do think it's a healthy option instead of bottling it up and then yelling at people in traffic. That's not the way to go about life. We all have something on our chest. We all have stressors, pains. We all have something going on back at home or our family far, far away. You don't get to see them very much, and you're dealing something, and we don't know what other people are going through. Somebody is going through something around you, I promise. And it's nice to be there for someone. But in case you don't have someone that you want to go to, why not try better help? If you're thinking about starting therapy, give better help a try. I do love speaking to someone in the comfort of my own home. I don't like going to an office.

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Ginger. I like ginger.

Saggit was the best at it. He had a lot of death, a lot of tragedy in his life. He just made jokes about it. He would do it to your life, too. At first, it was like, My dad just died. I asked him to host my dad's funeral, and he gets up and says, Tonight's specials are cake and cock, and we're out of cake. My mom's like, And then he goes into Calamari jokes, be circumcised, Yeah. But it was what we needed. That's what you needed. At first, it was like, what the fuck? My sister's looking. And then everybody just...

I'm sorry. I just got hit with a bug of curiosity. Now that I have you in the room and I thought of it. Does Jamie Lee Curtis have a penis? I mean, it's been a rumor for a long time. She's a good friend of yours. She wrote the forward to your book, which go get his book, by the way. It's great.

Good plug for his book.

It's good. If you want to hear about Stamos fucking high getting pulled over by the cops, it's great.

I don't think- Does she have a penis? I actually asked her once. She just laughed at me, I think. I said, What are you doing?

How did that rumor get started?

I'm being genuine when I said it. I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

You've never heard of that rumor?

Was it Jamie Lee Curtis?

Yeah. I mean, what have you been living under a You're going to fucking rock in Chicago?

Have you never heard of that? Are you joking around? It's a common thing?

It's Richard Gere's gerble.

Yeah, but that was real.

Phil Collins in the Year Tonight, the arrest. But that's real, too. None of those things are real. What's the Phil Collins thing? Except Richard Gere.

That was a gerble thing. Richard Gere put a gerble in his ass. What do you mean? By the way, that's not like a conspiracy. That seems like a very viable thing. People do put gerbles up their ass.

My second question, have you put a gerble in your ass? In hers.

Jamie is the coolest woman on the fucking planet.

She is a woman, right? Yes. Okay, there you go. It's official, dude.

This podcast is finally going viral. I've literally never heard this before, by the way. I've never heard this before. You've never heard the rumor that Jamie Lee Curtis has a penis?

No. That's been around since the fucking '80s, man. Let me ask you this about comment.

Do you guys work out stuff? You can. This is like working out stuff. Will you take something from your act? Probably not. Not today, maybe. But I mean, just in general.

I never take anything in the podcast.

No, you must. You know what's so funny. I have-I'm lying, probably. But it's a great place to lie. You absolutely are. Of course you are.

Yeah, this is a great place to work at.

A piece of it adds stuff to other stuff. But I will say a joke I did on you and to Stefano's old show, History Hyenas, ended up later getting into my last special. The joke about-There you go. Build a Wall. Trump said, Build a Wall, build a wall, build a maze.

That was great. That was such a good joke. I remembered it.

That was on History Hyenas when you guys did that joke. That's when you did. I remember we said that we were fucking around. It was such a good joke.

And that night. He said, make them work for it. And then you can whoever get you.

You're like, this guy's accomplished.

That came out of just at a point.

We were fucking around having a good time, and we were humming, man. That day, we were humming. I remember saying, I think I'm going to try that at the cellar tonight. You guys were like, do it. I went and did it, and it worked, and it ended up streaming through, and then I added a whole big chunk to it. But that was one of the first things. But we do take little things, and then we move with them.

Because you could bomb. To work out stuff, you go on stage for 20 minutes and do shit. That's not good.

You're going to do shit here, right? I do like working through stuff on stage at the club. It does feel good.

I do it all on stage.

It's fun. I think people have this weird fear that it's like, you don't want to get up there and not be able to fucking kill. And you're like, well, I have to work it out to get it to a place where it's going to be good. As long as you slowly slide in new shit, you do shit that works, you slide in new shit.

And you guys are such pros. You know, okay, I did little stuff that's not working. I'm going to give them this.

I also think they like to see it. I know they like to see I mean, I've had audience members say that. They're like, I love to watch comics as they're building the thing.

But you can build here. This thing that I think I'm doing is because as you guys know-Who are you doing it with? Josh Paak? I can't tell you now, but the- You can't.

Come on, break something on here. Jamie, you didn't break the-What was the guy's name?

The Nickelodian documentary was about? Was that guy?

Drake and Josh? No, no.

The guy- Josh is a great guy. The fat guy that touched everybody. What was his name?

He didn't touch anybody. I did? He's suing the thing. I'm not defending him by any means.

I don't know anything about I didn't watch it. I don't know anything about it.

I didn't watch it either, but I just saw the internet.

It's fascinating.

By the way, that guy, I just found out- But it's a big deal. There's a-Drake Bell got fucking raped, right?

Yeah, there's two or three- Can't say that word. Pedophiles on there.

He got unconsensually fucked.

Did they say that? Wait, so that guy's suing Nickelodian?

The one guy, yeah. Actually, I just found out. Josh told me it lives in my neighborhood. It lives very close to-No shit.

But I've known him over the years. You guys live in Inglewood together? Yeah, right. Can you imagine Stamos in Compton? Can you imagine if the fucking Cribs were like, Stamos? He's like, What's up, son?

What's up?

Yeah. Would you be amazing if Stamos was a blood? That would be great.

That would be...

I'm not a blood.

No, he's a crip today. You're cripping today pretty hard. I'm not a blood, but...

Don't do it. Is that the Rockefeller Diamond?

No, he's doing the Illuminati thing. Oh, the Illuminati thing. That's giving the Internet what it wants.

Is there an Illuminati? Let's get the people. The people want to know, is there an Illuminati?

Well, yeah.

Does Tom Hanks have a keg in his basement of different type of boy blood you can drink?

He does this great Greek character.

Come on, tell the people. Yes or no.

I had him do it for Tom and read it. We were in Greece, remember? You did that great video.

You're in Greece with Tom Hanks doing characters for him?

Yeah, I saw.

So you drink some of the blood, too, bitch. I did.

He wasn't there. You got to scare him first.

He's got to laugh at those kinds of conspiracies, right?

Does he know that that's a thing? You got to go down first and go, Boo, and you scare him, and then the adrenaline clone gets released.

When he puts back on his mask.

But you got to scare the kids, which is fun. So you do a purge thing first. They get scared. They're hooked up. You drink.

The Illuminati that Cat Williams has said that everybody is involved. I would love to see it. I do want to see it. I know it's not real because I feel like I would have snuck into it.

There's nothing to see.

Where is it? Everywhere?

Yeah, it just says you can't see it.

Who's running it?

Stern has said it was- Howard Stern?

Yeah. Are you the guy?

I I'm saying he said it.

He says you're the guy behind it.

All right, you're close to Howard Stern. I'll say this. What's interesting about Howard Stern's thing, and I know this is like- Did you see the Biden interview? The Biden interview? Yeah.

He took a lot of heat for that, too.

Yeah, he should. It was a little strange. No, it wasn't. It was a little strange. Why? I don't know. He was very kiss-assy to him. It was a little strange.

Biden came in here right now, he started hammering him about shit.

I wouldn't kiss his ass now. Come on, man. Come on, man. Well, I certainly wouldn't have the hum of these lights. They'd I'll put him to sleep. But I fucking... No, I just think what's weird about the Stern thing over the years since I was watching as a kid is everybody matures, everybody changes, and that's good. But it is weird when he gets extremely political on that show because I'm like, You're the guy that made Girls sit on a Sibian. Let's tone it down a little bit. When he gets very hardcore political, I'm like, Come on, dude. You made Girls Masturbate Live on air.

What does one have to do with the other?

He's got daughters, I think.

Well, no, I'm saying because you were so politically incorrect, then he got so That you're politically correct that you're like, this is a weird, this is a huge pendulum swing.

I heard. I turned it on yesterday, and there was a bit with me on there trying to get Debbie the come lady to get high pitch Eric to come. He's still part of that guy.

I know, but so I'm saying then when you go from that to being like, Hey, man, don't fucking fuck around during COVID. You're like, All right, dude, relax.

Did COVID break his brain a little bit? I don't listen to it, but my friend does, and he says that COVID, he's still scared of it and stuff. Is he?

Yeah. But he's He's 70. It's not that bad. He turned 70.

It tickles a little bit.

Well, you've had it a few times. You've gone to that restaurant. I've had it a few times, yeah. You know, Howard, for the long time- But you know what I mean by that, right? It's not a disrespecting. I like the guy. I just don't like it when... I think his best shit was when he was the most free and didn't care. But when we all get on our high horse and tell people how to think, I always go like, Oh, come on, man.

I think he avoided that for a long time, as long as he could. And you should. The longest time, I remember asking them, and Gary's like, What is he? How come he's not bashing Trump? I sat next to Trump at his wedding, at Howard's wedding.

Yeah, they were good friends. Yeah, they weren't good friends. Well, he had them on the show so much.

But why? He kept it cool for a long, long, long, long time about Trump.

Everyone used to love Trump, right? Or I don't know. Did they?

He was on Howard Stern fucking all the time. He was a guest on the show all the time.

He was one of the guests that was on so much.

So much, yeah. He was a personality of the show. Which obviously people change, times change. That's fine. But I don't know. I like the Howard shooting at the sky was way more fun to me. When Howard was like... When he was the way that Hunter S. Thompson lived, that's how Howard's Comedy was.

It was fucking absurd. Where's Hunter S. Thompson dead? Howard wants to He has to live.

He's going to die, too. Who? All of us. I don't think so. See, he does have the keg.

He does have the fucking keg.

Well, he didn't answer the question. No, he's doing it again. What? You didn't answer the question.

Is there a keg? In late quote, man. Does Tom drink a drink of Chrome.

I was doing something.

The people fucking want to know who are watching this right now.

This will be on fucking 60 Minutes.

They don't want to know about my Patreon. They want to know that answer.

They do want to know about the Patreon, and that is, of course, Patreon. Com/yannispapaslive. Yes.

I get it. I pay for it, too. You honestly know that? How much you charge?

Five bucks. It's not that much. It's five bucks. Is there a higher tier? No, it's just five bucks. I do like that. I'm a dollar store of fucking Patreons. Well, I don't like dollar stores. It's real toxic, so don't do that. You're a five dollar store. Dollar Pizza. Dollar Pizza, yeah.

Dollar Pizza.

Dollar Pizza, which is now a dollar fifty. It's dollar fifty, yeah.

It's like when you go to the dollar store, there's nothing that's the dollar.

It's so sad.

It's just everything's a lie.

Everything's a lie. What isn't a lie, John Stamos? In this society, what isn't a lie? What isn't a lie?

What is true?

That I'm gay? Yeah. That is not a lie. That is not a lie. That is not a lie.

That was a stupid joke.

No, it's a good joke because it's true. I did kiss you, and he goes, Oh, he really kissed me. I liked it. I'll kiss you all fucking day long.

He's upset about the fucking Stern thing. He's friends with Stern. You're speaking freely, though. You're just saying you don't think anyone should tell anyone what the fucking thing.

No. I said that earlier myself.

I love this guy. I love this guy. It's fucking episode. It's going to be huge. I like Howard Stern. My point was, I liked Howard Stern because it wasn't- You're basically saying, Shut up and dribble. It wasn't a political show. No, it wasn't a political show is what I liked about it. When it got political is when I fucking got turned off to it because I don't care. I just want to fucking... Again, I want to hear him have fun with fucking lunatics. He still does. Yeah, but I just don't want the other shit. I'm just like, Get the fuck out of here of that stuff. I don't like it. But that's not a disrespect to him. That's not a shot at him. Even though he did shoot at all podcasters pretty fucking hard. He did.

Well, he started, but he was the first.

He did shoot them. I know, but who cares if he was the first? Four hours. That's like That's like fucking Jordan being like, Anthony Edwards has no business in my game.

It's all these female basketball players now hate on Kaitlyn Clarke.

I think he- Same shit.

You're like, Why are you doing that? She's about to make you all millionaires.

And what do you care? Yeah, what do you care?

I I think he's changed his tune on podcasters, though.

Well, he had to because it fucking the world changed. It was almost like, I think he didn't buy into us. Then he saw that it was relevant, and he was like, Well, maybe that is legit. Which, again, I said, people change. We all go, I like this, and now, and then five years later, you go, I don't mind it.

And you fill an hour a day sometimes. This guy's four hours every day.

It's amazing what he does. It's a lot. And he's also, I think he's the best interviewer. He's such a good interviewer.

Well, that's where he's at his best.

Yeah, he's so good interviewer. And also four hours a day for so long. It's crazy. It's too much. It's too much.

It's a lot. I know. It's a lot for anybody. Yeah. No, I still like him. Don't be upset about it, John.

I'm not upset, but I'm going to tell Howard about it. I'm going to text him right now.

Text him. He doesn't know who the fuck I am. He doesn't care. He'll go, Who? Who the fuck is that?

I like this fucking throw a little heat at the old guard.

I like it.

Well, because it is the Kaitlyn Clarke of it all where you're like, was it Dawn Staley? Who was it?

It was a bunch of them. Tarazi. They all do shots.

Well, here's what I do like. They all put shots on her. The Diana Tarasi thing of her. I like people who are in... It's like when Kevin Durant talks shit about a new young guy. That's dope. That's fun competition. It got weird when sometimes they're fucking it off.

Well, here's the thing also.

You want to invoke competition.

She exposed what they were doing that wasn't working, right? Because all they were doing was yelling at everyone and yelling at men for not watching. She was like, Why are you not watching basketball? She inspired people to watch. I think that that's one of those things that It's hard for them to look at themselves and go, Oh, she's doing it right. She's inspiring with her play. They're just going like...

They're just going. They turned it into it because she was white.

They're just going, We want equal pay. It's like, All right, well, you're screaming at us.

Yeah, but they turned it into because she was white, which is an unfair argument, by the way, because I don't give a fuck what color she was. She could be blue or green. She's the greatest female college shooter.

Yeah, well, you got to think about it.

Numbers are numbers. If you were the best college shooter of all time, it didn't matter if you were fucking cross-eyed. It's not. It didn't matter if you were Yannis. It's not like- No, but that can't be about race because you're the best, right?

It's not like- And look at the other players, Steph, Jordan, all these people made those sports. They weren't white. The thing is, there's no dunking in the WMBA or women's basketball yet. And there never will be.

No, there's a trampoline. They're going to put in the pool.

That would fucking help. But deep bombs, when you shoot for deep... She's like this stuff. You're shooting 50 footers. People love to deep ball. So she inspired us with the play, just how far she's shooting. People are going, wow. So that's like a dunk in female basketball.

The level of I respect that she commanded was just from play. And to me, it doesn't fucking matter what color you are. Proof is proof that you're like, Well, that's just because of this. And at some point, they can't say that anymore because you're like, No, man, the numbers are just real.

I mean, look, it doesn't hurt that she's white. The majority of the country is white. White people do love rooting for a white guy. I mean, let's be honest.

You guys aren't political. You're racist. No, he is.

Not me.

But no, white people secretly root for the white athlete. Did you see- Because it's the underdog. In basketball, especially. There's some diversity hires in fucking basketball. I always wanted to ask JJ Radik, do you feel like you're a diversity hire?

He's one of the best shooters, man. Don't shoot at that guy. He's incredible.

He loves shooting at other people. So now you're shooting at Stern. I'm shooting at JJ Radik.

On his podcast, he does.

He really loves the contraband. I know. For a Christian, he fucking brings it.

But that's what gets clips.

So were you a diversity hire? I mean, you weren't Daka. You didn't have range. You were undersized for the two. You had no one skills. What the fuck were you doing in the NBA so long? You're telling me there wasn't a black guy who could score fucking 14 points and shoot 33% from the fucking three-point line. Get the fuck out of here.

This is when he's the best.

This is when he's at his best.

You're diversity hire, JJ Radic. Close your mouth. We're going with some hot takes with John Stamos.

Hot takes with John Stamos.

We're here to ruin John Stamos career.

Well, we're doing it.

His improv skills are close to Robin Williams, I say. And I mean that. Jesus Christ.

Don't do that. When he goes on a street launch, that is tough.

Don't care, man. I don't care.

The comments are going to light up.

Do Do you remember my show, the basketball show I had where I played the coach? I did.

I watched the whole thing.

I remember that. I wish that was still on because we were always pushing how important women basketball was and how they got the show. I always love women's basketball. Not to switch the subject and save you guys, but McGrath, He loves you. Oh, really? I'm such a huge fan of his. I was so stoked. Wait, Mark McGrath from I Just Want to Fly?

Yeah, we're neighbors now.

Let's call him. You want to?

Yeah, ring him up.

Video? It doesn't matter.

Whatever you want to do. But make sure you tell him he's on the podcast. I don't want him to... We can always edit it out.

By the way, dude, you're great in that show. I'm not just saying it to be funny. Big shot. It was a good show, too. It was a good show, too.

Big shot, yeah.

I do nothing about sports.

You guys would have been so much- Kaylyn Clarke, by the way, it was because she was white.

Let's talk, frankly.

She's fucking great. It's because she inspired people with her play.

The deep bombs.

Hey, guys, just so you know, you're on a podcast.

We can edit it out.

We can edit it out. Say hi to your neighbor, Andrew.

What's up, brother? I got to come see you. You're a huge fan, Andrew. I'm honored you're joining the hood, man. I'm excited. I'm going to drop by your house. I'll drop off at, What do you like to eat or drink? I'll go get it. Vagina. Oh, come on. John.

You know Yannis Papas, the Greek comic, too?

He's just- He's fucking phenomenal.

Legends, legends, huge- Nice. I like that. I will bore the shit out of your podcast with my fandom.

No, you're not. I like it. I'm going to say this. John's going to connect us so you and I can get together. I can't wait to see you.

I bribe you on, Andrew, really, man.

I look I'm looking forward to meeting you, man.

My man did.

I was just telling them how great you are, and I was telling them about what we did the other day, Sunday. Wasn't that almost like a religious experience?

It's funny to say that people throw that around a lot, especially with the music for the Beach Boys, who have a religious experience associated with the music. But something about that night, dude, and the elevation in that crowd was just stunning. It was the best vocal performance I've ever seen John Stamos give of an amazing, very wonderful song called Forever.

John's a decent actor.

He's a decent-looking guy, blah, blah, blah. He's a hell of a musician, songwriter, singer.

But thank you. But you were perfect that next... Because he's played with us quite a bunch, and it's always like, we always look forward to it. But he's so fucking good on stage, man. And he takes up some of the- He's a true performer. He's a true performer. And I was so bummed that we didn't get to do Fly. I said, Are we doing Fly? He said, No, we don't have time. I'm like, Let me take care of this. Hey, Mike, we got to do Fly. He goes, We don't have time. I said, Okay, Mike, fuck Fly. It was that fast. But I was bummed. But we did it at the Greek last summer, and it was two summers ago. It was so cool.

Wait, John, I'm going to correct you. We did that at the Hollywood Bowl.

John, come on, dude. Greek, it was the Greek.

More exciting.

And for me, though, it was a truncated, expedited Beach Boys set. There was only 60 minutes. So I didn't want to bum out the real Beach Boys fans, but, Hey, guys, here's the guy with frost hips.

So we're going to say, Come on, now.

Here's Mark's only problem. He's too fucking He beats himself up too much.

We wish you would do that to yourself. I wish you would do that a little bit more. I wish you would do that a little bit more. You should beat yourself up, John. How are you coming here? He learned it from me.

Fuck off. But he's more talented. He puts himself down too much.

No, you're phenomenal, dude, and we love you. I can't wait to link with you, brother. Yeah, big fan. Love you, man. Big fan. Appreciate you, dude.

You guys made my day, man. I can't wait to hang with you guys, and I appreciate the time.

John, I love you. I love you, too, man. Keep doing all the great work, man.

Thank you, dude.

We're coming over after this.

Hey, buddy. Incredible.

Mark McGrath. It's great.

Good dude.

He's great. And he makes up too much for being like, whatever. Oh, I suck. I'm like, Stop it, man.

Does he have a problem with it? We were talking about is, I just want to fly like a thing he hates.

Like when people say- No, he sings all the time. He played with us at the Hollywood Bowl, but we didn't do Fly There either.

We did it at the Greek. Pull that mic down a little bit. We want to see your fucking face. You can't hide that.

His should be fucking up above.

I'm tired. I stay up too late.

No, what do you mean? What are you stand up late doing? I stay up late all the time. We don't go to bed. First of all, we're comics, and he has kids. You're never asleep.

Yeah, I love my kids so much.

Isn't it beautiful?

Both of them, though.

One of them more than the other.

Of course, there's always one. You got to pick a favorite.

You can't help it.

What are you so tired staying up at night doing? What's John Stam was doing at midnight? What are you doing at midnight?

There's just so much to do.

It's so not exciting, probably. It's the funny thing about it. People think it's something exciting.

No, there's something at midnight that you're doing.

What are you doing at night?

Writing and painting. I started painting.

Eating?

Do you eat at night? Yeah.

I don't eat all day, and then I eat at night.

I know I can tell that. You seem like a guy that drinks coffee, and then you eat.

Can Santino come over one time and you make pizzas? Yeah. He has a pizza maker in the back.

You got a brick oven?

Yeah. Yeah. It's so fucking awesome.

800 degrees, 1,000 degrees.

He's also got like fucking cool shit. He's got Elvis's sunglasses, He's got a ten of my zen.

Invite me to fuck over, John. I'd love to. We texted recently. He was like, I'm out of town. I'm out of town.

I have been out of town. He knows I'm leaving for Phoenix in like six hours. Are you? I have to come and go because I'm working on this hour. I'm out of town for the next six weeks. I go to Abu Dhabi, by the way. Yeah, I cannot wait. How much are you getting paid for that? I would be on stage. They are going to throw gold bullion onto me. How much am I getting paid for it? I think they're going to pay me. I think I get a Ferrari. And a virgin. A camel, 17 virgins. I'm allowed to stone one guy. In our contract, we try to get two stoneings in there. Bring the Greek. Bring the US.

Did you see Dubai underwater?

Just all those fucking Ferraris floating. You see how fast they cleared it out? They cleared it out quick, right? Within It took 24 hours. They cleared out how flotted it was.

It's because they were creating rain, right?

Yeah, they were rain seeding, cloud seeding.

Yeah, they over did it a little bit.

Hey, man. Hey, it seems like a theme over there. Listen, all right, we got to end this This is the episode because John's got to go. John, you got to go, dude. You got to go.

I'm so excited to spend time with you guys.

This was fucking phenomenal. And I will say this, I lost a friend yesterday, and this made my morning. This was amazing. I'm happy. I told him off camera, Yeah, we lost a friend of ours yesterday, and it was fucking awesome.

Don't die on me.

Don't open with a joke. Don't you go dying on me. Don't go dying on me. Don't go dying on me.

And yet he did.

He did.

But God bless the dead. No, we're figuring it out. But it's... You know, look. Young guy? I mean, 50 something. Yeah, young. That's pretty fucking young on the scale of life.

That's why you got to be humble. That's why you got to enjoy yourself. That's why my wife said, Do you want to cancel the podcast last night when I got home?

Because I was fucking This podcast today? Yeah. Last night, I got home and I got the news and she It was like, Just cancel the morning tomorrow. They'll understand.

But cheers you up to hang out with people.

And then I thought, no, fuck that. I'd rather get a coffee, go hang out, see the boys. It'll just make it a little bit easier today. Then I'm going to see a bunch of our friends this afternoon to go do a little thing anyway. I thought, no, if I sit around and mope and not give levity to it, then it's going to fucking be sadder.

What the Greeks say, may his memory be eternal.

I love that. Look at that camera and say that one more time.

May his memory be eternal. That's beautiful.

But grieve, though.

Don't Don't laugh at us. No, no. No, no, no. Look, there's plenty of time for that. It's a pleasure. There's plenty of time for that. But for right now, I want to fucking see my boys. So thank you guys. I appreciate you. May his life be eternal.

May his memory be eternal.

May his memory be eternal. It's perfect. Then, John, you have to say one quote into that camera. Go ahead, say something. Don't go dying on me, Andrew's friend.

In here, we pour, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.