In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are huge as well.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's all hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like ginger. Ladies, gentlemen, welcome back to Whisky Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, it's What? Come on. The Rickster, baby. Give me a little cheers. We're sipping a little sauce today. This is wonderful. This is some nice smooth sauce. Man, I like it so much.

Man, I was You were comenting earlier, your whiskey game is super tight.

I got a whole cart there. We should put it on camera at some point, but I have been collecting over the years. This is actually about half the size. He's seen it at my house. I have probably, yeah, maybe double to triple this at home.

That's amazing.

I've gotten gifts from really high-end collectors that do me well, that know way more than I know. But this has been an amalgamation of over the years of doing this show, people suggesting or bringing me bottles and all that stuff.

That's fantastic. Kansas City has got a whiskey maker, J. Rieger.

J.

Rieger. Rieger. Shout out to the Rieger. Yeah, shout out to Rieger. I used to be in business with those guys, but then I was doing a vodka thing and it got all convoluted, but I still believe in them. Yeah, you do. I believe in them. I like them. They're good men. They make a good quality bourbon. What's it called? Jay Rieger.

Jay Rieger is the brand as well. That's the brand. Get yourself some Rieger, I guess. Get out there and have a sip, sip of it. Let me see what the bottle looks like. Is it a sexy bottle? That means something to me. It's pretty good.

It's got good heritage.

You got to have style. It's got good lineage. Yeah, it does.

Yeah, I think so.

The last time you and I saw each other, we were in Hawaii.

That's right. Playing-we sound like high rollers when you say things like that.

Well, it was a charity event. It was. We were doing good for the kids, which is very nice. I don't mind flying to Hawaii to play in a charity event for kids. If it's given money for kids, I'm all about it.

We're all about the kids, man. We're all about helping the kids, doing the right thing.

That's never in question. No, speaking of which, I saw a billboard last night, one of those LED trucks of kids who have been abducted. A few of them I recognized. A few of those guys. Really? Yeah. Some of the guys that I think... Because I'm a part of a kid kidnap.

Were When you said LED truck, I didn't know what you meant. Oh, yeah. So I was envisioning one of those escalades that have the glow underneath.

No, this wasn't a party bus in Vegas.

That's the first thing that pops in my mind. This is just screens. That's the first thing that pops in my mind.

Yeah, but a few of the kids I had seen because I'm part of a group of people that kidnap kids, and it It's nice that they... Some of our top picks were on the board.

We're finally getting the billing that they rate.

It's terrible. I'm just kidding. No, but it was a huge truck last night. It was like that. It was insane. All four sides had a picture of missing kids on it. I was like, I guess that is the move now because milk cartons aren't doing it.

They're not cutting it anymore. No. And they've gone away from milk cartons and more to the big gallon plastic things.

And by the way, that's a waste of milk. We don't need all that, too. Just put it on there.

You never get to it.

You're never going to finish. It's always going to spoil.

There's always a little bit left.

Boy, does it stink, too. It's stanky.

So one time, my little child, they're older now, but when they were little, spilled milk in the back of my car. You hit him. But they didn't tell anybody, okay? And I didn't see it right away. And I get back in the car, it was the devil. It was the devil's a-hole. I mean, really, really bad. And I scrubbed and tried to clean.

Nothing's taking that out.

It got into stuff, man.

So there is crying over spilled milk in the- Absolutely is. Yeah. Cry over spilled milk because I want to know that you did it. Was it a car that you love, too? Or is it a- It wasn't even my car. Oh, my God. That's even more fun.

It was my dad's Cadillac. So then my dad was like, What in the goddamn? I'm like, I don't know. That's the dinguest thing. Must've been a skunk.

Skunk done got in the catty, daddy. Skunk done got in the catty, daddy.

You know the skunk love the catty, dad? I'm in that category. I'm in this country roads out here in Kansas. I'm sure if somebody hit it, mom probably hit it.

Yeah, well, she's going to do it, if anybody. By the way, I had to go to the doctor's appointment yesterday. That was a big thing. It's so funny.

When I get way to the doctor, I empty all my pockets. Me too. It sucks because the clothes are like five It's like maybe 10 pounds. It's like three.

It's like 25 pounds, right? This shirt's got to be 30 pounds.

It's a 30-pound shirt, dude.

The guy was like, Do you want to der robe? I said, Well, I'd like to know my real weight. He goes, It's still your real weight. I was like, No, it's not. When I'm at home- These jeans, because I'm like 6'2. You're a tall man. 6'1? Yeah, that's a lot of material.

Yeah, I mean, these jeans are heavy. That's right. They're not two-pound sweat pants.

I like that we're doing this. This is the only people that are on the verge of being fat. Yeah, fat. That would be like, the shoes and the pants. He needs the extra pounds. You know there's people that go in there that are like, Can I put stuff in my pocket to get the weight up? Yeah. Yeah. He gave me on the weight thing, and then we went through the whole rigmarole, the questions.

I lean on my balls on my feet when they do the height. Yeah, me too. Just to maybe get a half inch more, just a little. I max out. I go full extension as much as I can. I'm elongating. So when they do the body measurements or whatever, they're like your weight compared to your height and all that stuff. But yeah, I empty my pockets because I feel like it's a shakedown. I'm like, the clothing I'm wearing, sweatshirt, shoes, everything I've got on, these are man-size clothes. That's seven pounds easy. That's seven. You got to give me seven. And they're like, it's three.

It's three max. Two and a half, maybe. Maybe three, mostly two and a half. But then they get you in there and they do that whole thing where they let you feel good about one thing, and then you feel awful about everything else. He'll be like, blood pressure, but look, not bad. And he's like, oh, Cholester, this is really bad.

Yeah, your LDL or whatever it is. There's one's good, one's bad. I never know which is which, but they're always telling me, You're fine here, you're fine here.

This is bad.

I always know it's going to be in danger zone, where I'm elevated beyond the level they're coming. Elevated.

That's what they say.

It's because I eat shit. I do. What do you want me to do? I'm not a master chef, and I don't like things that taste good. I don't like it. I don't. I like fried chicken. I like burgers. I like trash. I like trash. How often- I like dipping sauces. I like my dipping sauces. I need my honey mustard, my ranch. I put ranch on anything. Barbecue, whatever. I love my sauces, too.

Yeah, it's hard to eat how you're supposed to because we've got a sauce drawer. Do you have a sauce drawer at the house? Yes. That's how a lunatic... Do you have a sauce drawer? No, you're too young. With all the taco Bells. Correct. There you go. There it is. Yeah. There you go. We have a my Chick-fil-A sauces.

Chick-fil-a sauces, baby. I got them. I got them.

I always have those saved.

Listen, I'm a connoisseur of ranch. Restaurant-grade ranch is important to me. I don't do a hidden valley anymore. I used to do it. I could maybe dip a carrot into it. But again, that was what I was trying, and it was a failure. I need restaurant-grade ranch. Really? And Cheesecake Factory has the best ranch.

Are you putting us on to a new hot take? Yes. Cheesecake Factory has number one ranch, you think? It has top-grade ranch.

Now, there's other great ranches out there. Sure. But it's top-grade. And you can get it in a big Mason jar. You can get a pint of that stuff. And it's good for two weeks.

At Cheesecake, they sell it.

They sell the fire. I will stop. There's a mall that I eat at the Cheesecake Factor too much, but I stop in, and they know who I am. When I come in, they're like, Ranch today? I'm like, Yeah, give me a jar.

Baby, can you pick up a pint of ranch on the way home? That's awesome. And they give the ingredients. And Liz is what's great about the internet. There's the crack there. Look at this. But let me tell you something. My wife makes us homemade ranch at the house, and it's great. It's restaurant? It's great, but the problem is it's almost too... What is the word I'm looking for? It's like too culinary. It's like too homemade. Made. You want some of the secret jazz. I don't know.

Some of the stuff- Some of the industrial level. Yeah.

Give me something that drips from the ceiling that falls in there. That's probably what makes Ranch really good.

You know they have a big pot, and the chef is looking up going, and there it is.

There it is, and now it's finalized.

Yeah, back that up.

That was like the... God, that reminded me of that documentary. Remember the Blue Bell Controversy? Do you remember this? That's where I got that from. Do you know Blue Bell Ice Cream? Yeah. Years ago, they had a controversy where they had an outbreak of whatever it was. What What was that broke down? Yeah, it was in 2020, they paid 19 million and played guilty to charges. They shipped contaminated products to the outbreak, listeria. They said it was from the ceiling in the factory. That's where I got that from. It was dripping into the ice cream from the ceiling. What?

They didn't know, though.

No, they knew. They knew? Well, some of the workers were like, the conditions were ridiculous because the ventilation wasn't good enough. So they had complained about it. But the higher-ups were like, Shut up. Not now. It's ice cream.

Pack it up. That's always the best thing to What you do when you hear about a problem is just pretend you didn't hear about it.

Exactly. That's what every company in the United States does. No, really?

That can't be right. You know what it is? It's just weak-ass managers who are like, I don't want to deal with a problem today.

Look, man, I'm hung over. Just scoop the listeria out of the chocolate, chocolate chip. Exactly.

I'll be at the Cheesecake factory if you need me.

What is your... Because I've gotten addicted, man. I used to not really love... Ice cream wasn't a thing. I'd have it once in a while. Now we have to keep it in the freezer. I have to have ice cream, and I have it almost every night.

We are such kindred spirits. This is embarrassing as shit. Almost every night, I have a chocolate shake after dinner. Almost every night. It's gotten so bad that my girlfriend, who you met. Yeah, she's wonderful. She's like, Hey, I respect that you love this ice cream, but could we talk about maybe just doing Monday, Wednesday, Friday? And I said, You're really good on thin ice. Yeah, you're skating. Maybe I'll put that shit on ice.

I got to tell you something. She looks like she doesn't have chocolate shakes every night. That's why. She eats well. She's in great shape. So I can see her judging this behavior, being like, Too many.

She does make the shake, though. At the end of the day, she'll go, All right. Next thing I know, the blender's working.

I'm like, Oh, here we go. The sound of that really gets you going.

Oh, my God. And now I dress it up. Sometimes I'm like, Hey, baby, look at me. Get on the healthy train. I'll put strawberries on my chocolate ice cream. I'm See? See? She's like, she just shakes her head in the most disappointed way. But I'm like, I'm working on it, babe.

I'm trying. Well, you are. You're making strides. Show him the video of a Bootsy spaghetti that we saw yesterday. This is like the Bootsy making spaghetti. This may be one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen because whenever I feel like I do something... Yeah, Lil Boosy doing spaghetti. Hold on. Whenever I feel like I've done something incorrectly, look at how much sugar he's putting into. What? That's sugar? That's granulation Granulated sugar in his spaghetti. That's a whole bag. What's he doing?

He's ruining.

No, it's hilarious. But here's the thing. Oh, my God. It could be a bit. It's got to be a bit. But I got to tell you, he's wild and hilarious. Bussy makes spaghetti with a half a bag of granulated sugar. But here's the difference.

Look at the one comment, God damn. God damn.

But here's the difference of, look, you and I are closer in age certainly than him. And he immediately, McCone, who's 24, goes, I bet you it slaps. I bet you it's good. So the kid generation thinks this might be pretty good. And I was like, absolutely not. He's open-minded. He's a little too open-minded.

Yeah. Am I watching the video? Just watching it right now, I feel the inflammation in my body.

Oh, yeah. You got diabetes watching the video.

I did. Just now.

But it's remarkable. I think I've never seen it. But so I said to him, we went over the argument, is this for the internet? Because he's very funny. But also, I don't know. It looks legit.

The look on his face says, This is what I do. This is what I do. I cook it like this.

This is what I do.

He's all business. There's no wink and a nod. There's no grin.

No, that's right. This is who I am. This is what I do. He's all business. This is a live stream. Right. So we They saw what we saw. He didn't do another take of it. Now, do you have... When I was a kid, I remember I got yelled at because my mom, for a while, was like, No sugary cereals because we were eating too much bullshit. So she took it away from us. And then when we do, we would just put, I mean, spoonfuls of sugar into cheerios. I mean, we would literally dump half of the jar. As I've gotten older, I still have a few things that I overindulge like that. Do you have any little secret ones where you put too much sugar in the thing?

I was a tons of sugar in my cheerios guy.

Yeah, too much. I did it. Where the milk was just sugar.

Yeah, and I could actually see the-Oh, yeah.

I love it when it's peaking through. Yeah, the sugar peaking through.

I don't know, I'll smash it down quick before.

When you feel your teeth go… on the milk. The granular crunch. Yeah, it's bad. I've since tried to get away from it. But like I was saying, with the shake thing, I can't... Ice cream is my... I can't give it up. I could give up like candy bars and pop. Fine.

I never was a sweets guy. Me neither. I never was sweets. I do. Chocolate has got me. Chocolate has got the hook in. Chocolate. Chocolate has got the hook in me. Ice cream has got the hook in me. Yeah, it's tough. It really, really does. I need it after most meals.

Me too. I know. It's really weird. I don't know why it's doing that. I blame the pandemic, if I'm being honest.

That's when I really double down on it. I really doubled down.

Me start ice cream on pandemic. I just couldn't. I was like, Well, we're here. We're not going to go out for a dinner. We cooked. We did all this work. We cleaned. Shouldn't we fucking have some ice cream?

I got in to reward myself with a treat. And that pandemic, I did. I really doubled up on my ice cream during that time frame. And now I can't get And you're stuck.

Now I'm in. And that's fine. Honestly, who cares? Yeah.

I mean, listen, this is all... Look, we're not going to be around that long. Come on. We're not. So just savor it. There's got to be a couple of vices in your life. This. Yes. Wonderful little concoction. Just a little sauce. A little something, that makes the day worthwhile. A little ice cream, that makes the day worthwhile. If you're lucky enough to get a little some, that makes the day worthwhile. Big time. So that's it. Those are the only joys in life. Enjoy them.

Yeah. What else is left? Because your kids are grown.

Because we say we deny ourselves so much all the time. It's time to have these little moments of pleasure.

Let it rip. Let it rip.

That's what I'm saying.

Your kids are grown now, so they're free, right?

Well, pretty much. I've still got a high school boy.

Oh, wow. Is he your size?

No, but he's going through puberty now.

Oh, really? So it's about to happen.

It's about to happen. He's got the paws, and he'll grow into him.

Is he an athlete?

He was, but then he was a late bloomer. Yeah. Because he's just hitting it now. He's a sophomore halfway through his life.

Were you like that, too, or no?

Yes. I was the last guy in my class to hit puberty.

And then you're a big boy.

Then it came all at once on my junior and senior year. I was still growing into college, like freshman year.

I'm still growing. I'm still growing now at 40.

So my boy, he'll grow into it. But the team sports left him because they all just got bigger than him. Sure. I remember I took his eighth grade class on their big field trip to Washington, DC or whatever. And these guys They were 6'2, these eighth grade boys. I know. And they were massive. They were coming up with mustaches like Mccone.

Yeah, they're all grown.

And they're like, Mr. Wrigle, Mr. I was like, Jesus Christ, my boys got no chance. I know.

What are they feeding these kids to make them so big? I saw something on it of the best top high school basketball teams in California. The average height was 6'5 or 6'6. I was like, What? That's insane. There was one dude in my high school who was 6'8. One dude.

He was the guy. 6'8, that's amazing for high school.

He was the only guy of that.

He had to dominate that whole conference.

That was ridiculous. Everybody else was like 5, 10 to maybe 6, 2 if you're lucky. Right.

If you're lucky. Yeah. Our basketball team consisted of 5, 11 to 6, 2.

Right. But now I feel like they're all way, way bigger than we ever were. Maybe it's all working. Maybe the HGH and the booster is working, but God bless, dude. Keep shooting it up.

What he's into now because the team sports passed him by, but he got into MMA. Oh, Oh, really? Yeah. So he's pretty good. He goes to his training. He does it. He works hard at it.

Now, what if he wants to go pro? Are you cool with that? If he really commits and this becomes a career- To me, if he goes, one of two things is going to happen.

He's going to get popped in the mouth that he's not going to like it, or he's going to pop someone else in the mouth and love it. And so it'll sort itself out quickly. Yeah.

You know what I mean? He'll figure it out. He'll figure it out. Well, I got into it a little bit. Rogan showed me it, but the thing that I'm into now, show him. Have you seen these slap offs? Have you seen these slap offs?

Oh, my God. I've seen it. It's an insane-athon. They're just trying to kill each other.

It's amazing, man.

Their faces are puffed out to hear the concussion. They had to be concussed every time, right?

Oh, yeah, dude. Well, I love that they did. So they're allowed to do one, two.

So the career is got to be what? Two fights?

It's one afternoon. Yeah, you're done in an afternoon. But this is like you watch this and they're allowed to do three, one, two, and they have to hit on the third one. And It's unbelievable how hard they hit these people. But it's so funny that for so long, slapping a man was such a crazy big disrespectful thing to do. But now you have to sit there and take the slap. There's no clenching, no defending.

And You can't try to move your head.

No, you can't move.

You can't try to beat it by.

You get disqualified.

And then you still get the hit. So you really have to take it, right?

Look at this. It's awesome.

You're going to be amazing, too. When some of these guys get slapped, they go cock stiff. They When you do that lockup.

Where the hands go up, right?

And then they're just on the floor like this. I just like, I don't understand this sport.

But you know what? To me, it's like anything else where I remember someone saying, I think my dad was saying something. He was like, MMA is... Well, because when it was the original cage fighting, when the very first version- I remember the very first one. It was like, this is crazy.

They get a hustler, like an all-star hustler, to fight like a Brazilian juditsu guy. And then they didn't have... The only rule was no eyes.

No nuts. No eyes, no nuts.

I remember there was an Asian guy who had on a red, like a speedo, and somehow was in with this other 600-pound guy or whatever, and just was punching him in the dingalow. What? Yeah, just punching him. Smoking it. I was like, I guess that's as long as you didn't hit the eyes. That was the only rule.

Yeah, I guess. Well, these are my eyes downstairs. I need my eyes down below.

Don't pull on those things. I got cat whiskers on this thing. That's how I find my way in the dark.

You got your feelers Yeah, exactly.

In here, we pour whiskey.

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Com/whisky to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Once again, squarespace. Com, check it out. Then are you ready to launch your website, go to squarespace. Com/whisky to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Ginger. I like ginger. Yeah, no. I remember my dad saying, though, he was like, I don't think that's going to really make an impact. I was like, well, who knows? Sure enough, I don't know. I couldn't know. I mean, it's obviously not as big as football, but I mean, it's just such a huge sport now. It It's shocking to think how tiny that was. Maybe this turns into something bigger. Who knows?

I just don't think you're going to get enough people.

Well, it's not as dynamic, of course. Mixed martial arts is so much more dynamic.

Because your career, getting behind an athlete in this. Athlete, yeah. Athlete, I'm being very generous. Getting behind Let's call him a fighter, a slapper. Getting behind a slapper is tough to do because they're not going to be around that long. No, they're in and out. I wouldn't think.

They're in and out. What did that say? How much money do they make? You know what? 10 grand, 30 grand being the highest. What is this? Well, UFC is much, much higher. Yeah, 3 million. Well, I mean, it's so much harder to compare because there's no money in it yet. But I had this discussion the other day, you and I, both big golfers. And what's crazy is how some guys that are on the tour doing well are still not, weren't making a lot of money until very recently. The rules are changing, the times are changing. But it's crazy to think you're a pro. You're one of the top 50 in the world. But if you're having a bad year, you're not making money. No. It's crazy.

It doesn't because every other Major League sport, every other professional sport, there is some salary guarantee.

You're given a guarantee. Yeah.

There's a base that you can count on to at least fund whatever life. Sure. And then Let's say you have a great year, great. You reap the benefits. Right. But they're the only ones who have to throw their bag in the car and go to the next tournament if they don't make the cut.

Tough. And the catty life, living with the catty life. I said that last night with my cousin, we were watching the worldwide golf replay, and I said, this is what's interesting about golf, and not that I'm trying to crack the tradition, but the athlete doesn't have to carry the bag. So what I'm confused with is, why does some other idiot have to carry the bag? We can't just put that on a thing. You know what I mean? Why does he have to physically... I don't understand because the labor of it doesn't affect the athlete's performance.

Well, I think what it is, in my humble opinion, and I don't know, but guessing, is that golf is such an individual sport that the only... It's like a boxer. In the ring, they got to fight, but they go back to their corner to get a third, a perspective, an outside view of what's happening or whatever. And that caddy is more than just carrying the bag. I think he's also a confidante, someone who calms him down, someone who gives him advice, someone who backs up his decision. No, I agree. His quarter man.

But I'm saying what you're saying is you need to have that guy, but why does he have to carry the bag? Why does he have to lug an 80 pound? I never got that.

No, you're absolutely right on that. Why not put it on a pushy trolley?

Because I understand if the athlete rules was, well, the athlete has to do this during competition. I totally understand that. But if the onus isn't on you to carry your own shit, then it's weird. I couldn't agree more.

It's those things before Liv came along. Everybody just accepted the paradigm of the PGA. That was it. That's it. And there's no debating it. That's it. Then Liv comes along, and now all the rules have changed because the paradigm is now, well, we got to pay our people. We got to do this. We got to do that.

Things can be different. Well, I'm a big Liv guy. I don't know if you know, but I'm big into it. I played in the Proam. I'm friends with those guys now. And I'm a big proponent of... I like competition. It's just competition. We're in the same boat.

We're from the same club. I think the PGA, who I respect, and I respect tradition, all that stuff, but I think they got caught with their pants down. I think they just got used to be in this dinosaur who's like, This is how it is. We're this monolith. When the competition came, they didn't know how to respond. They got caught with their pants down. 100%. Sorry, but we do live in a world of competition. If I can make a better widget than you, then I should be able to come to market.

Then check out my widget.

Then check out my widget.

Take a look at my widget, man. Exactly. It does feel that way to me. I just feel like the times they are changing, and so many other sports have shifted the way that the game is played. Why would golf is so slow to do it. But if you're a hockey fan- And the market will bear, too.

The market will bear. Let's say Liv comes to the table and says, I think I got a better widget, right? Well, if no one goes to see, no one likes them, no one responds, they don't have any name, talent, well, the market will bear that, and they will fail. And then if that happens, okay. You took a shot. Exactly. But if the market says, no, actually, we enjoy this. We enjoy this competition. We enjoy a new flavor. We enjoy a different competition. Well, guess what? They got the little chunk of your market share.

Yeah, I think so. Every sport is changing over time. I don't know why this one wouldn't. And the ever long debate, which I want to hear your side of it is with my dad because he's old school. He thinks shorts are bullshit. He's always like, Guys shouldn't wear shorts on the golf course. And I said, We wear shorts when we play. He's like, I'm not a pro. I was like, okay.

I will say this. In a weird way, I'm with your dad. I get it. In a weird way, I like college players wearing shorts. I don't mind amateurs. I think shorts It was wonderful. I just feel like it is the only signature thing that a pro can do to say, I'm a pro. I'm a pro. Sweat. I play in slack.

Yeah, I sweat. That's my thing, though. It's like how the NBA At some point, all these athletes were like, does our penis have to fall out of the bottom of these shorts, or could we have longer shorts? And the NBA was like, okay, I guess we can make this more comfortable for you.

Fine. Give them the long shorts.

Because there were Daisy Duke's. Oh, they were. You know that the players were like, this is very uncomfortable. And they were finally like, yeah, I guess if it's affecting your performance, we should make it to the best of your ability. So then they finally started to change. That's what I'm saying is like, if it's 90 and those guys are doing a tour in South Florida, why can't they wear shorts? I just don't get it. I don't know. And have you seen some of these guys' calves? Phil, delicious calves, this guy's dude. Meathhawks, that guy. They're monsters. They're awesome. Show them off.

But you're talking about change, right? And talking about evolution. So you know, soccer over the Premier League or whatever, they have all kinds of cups. They have the FIFA World Cup, they have the Champions Cup, they have the UEFA, whatever. They have all these different cups, and they have a season. They play out, right? Right. And then within the season, they do this side thing, a little side hustle, where they try to win this other cup and all this stuff. And so it's really interesting because they grab all the All-stars from everybody and they do all this stuff, and it's interesting. And now it looks like the NBA. Have you seen this? No. The NBA, it looks like, if I saw an ad, it looked like... But basically, they're going to do some mid-season season thing where they grab the best players and they compete for a cup. Oh, wow. So not only do you have them playing for their cities and just like soccer, now they're going to play for some Champions Cup. Oh, that's really cool. A basketball, and it's going to be this global thing.

I like that. An in-season tournament.

But to me, that's the evolution and the way they keep it going. Yeah, in-season tournament right there.

You might as well keep things moving because I do think this sounds old school, but there is not a lot of allegiance anymore a city or a team. A lot of guys just want to become the Avengers of a team and then win everything, which is the ultimate goal, right? And if that's the case, then it's like, well, then we might as well. Because for soccer players, those guys jump around to wherever it works. It used to be like when I was a kid, Kevin Garnett played in Minnesota, sadly, for far too long. Then he got his come up, and so when he finally left. But he had allegiance to that city for a long time.

There was always something special. I don't know.

Guys don't really do that anymore.

No, they don't. I remember George Brett, he stayed with the Royals his entire career. Yeah, man. '76 to '92. I remember, or to '92, but I remember... I feel bad for Barry Sanders. One of the greatest of all time. Stuck in Detroit. Couldn't get anywhere. I know.

You wanted him to move.

You wanted him to move. I don't know. When LeBron started that super team thing down in Miami.

That was the beginning of all of it, really. I mean, that was like cracking the egg of Everyone started to do it.

And I don't know what's right. I don't know what's right because in baseball, there's no salary cap. I remember at one time, A-Rod, his yearly salary was equivalent to the entire Royals starting lineup. That sounds right. I remember because we just laughed about it. We're like, well, how are we supposed to compete?

You can't. Now you can't.

So then when you have league that do have these salary caps, well, you see some parody. Sure. If you're at the bottom right now in the NFL, give it about five years, you'll be back. You'll be in the playoff.

You say that, but we're the bears. You say that, but we're the bears. We've given it a lot of years, man.

If you pick right. If you pick right, you got to pick right. But you still have a puncher's chance because even if you stay at the bottom longer, you just keep... Like the Browns right now, they're starting lineup has got 11 between the offense and defense. They got 11 number one picks.

And they still can't get it done. And they still can't get it done. No, it's true. But it's true. I still always hold out hope because the NFL still does have that hopeful underdog thing. It's harder to see in other sports, I think. Hopeful underdog in the NBA is a lost cause.

And I always wrestle with this because I'm a capitalist. So I'm like, what the market will bear, the market will bear. If you got the money to get that talent, get that talent or whatever. But then I'm like, yeah, but then it makes the league really hard because it's always going to be the same five teams competing for the trophy.

I've got a suggestion. You tell me this is a Wackadoo nonsense. Oh, boy. So you put almost like- I already like it, by the way. Almost like fantasy, right? You put everyone in a slotted numerical position of what would be their financial worth is now slotted into a numerical worth. The example I would give is my dad does a charity golf tournament, and when we do a golf tournament, not charity, we do charity. We do a golf term every year, and you're a number, an A player, a B player, or a C player. And each team gets one A, and then you get two B and two or three C, right? So you would do that with NBA players. Everyone's in a bucket.

It's a quality control.

Yes. And at the At the beginning of the year, you get randomly selected. And let's see what you do with that team. Because if we're not going to have any allegiance to cities anyway, well, then anybody gets a chance to have the best squad for the year. And let's say that goes on for a two-year gap. So for a year or two, you play for that same team, and then you get back in the shuffle again. It'd be fun to see- That's an interesting concept. And then your financial worth is based on what it was before. You were an A player anyway. We determined that when you came into the league, that's how you were Can players go from C to B to A?

Can you- Yeah, certainly.

You can bump up at the end of the year, much like- If your numbers are tremendous. Much like any good ball player, if you had a great year, the next year, you're going to use that option, if you have it, to either say, Hey, I want a couple more bucks.

I want to make sure the players stay incentivized. Totally. If their play is good, then they get to reap those rewards.

Then you're going to get to bump to the next league. Because honestly, I just think, if there is not going to be allegiance to cities, it's very tough in the NBA, specifically the NBA. Then why wouldn't it be more of a randomization and a fun? It's almost like we're watching different little Olympic squads come together. When the Olympic team comes together, you're like, holy shit.

What do you call this plant? Do you have a name for it yet?

The San Righl, the Santino Righl.

Let's just real quick on air. We're going to copyright trademark.

Yeah, we have to. We have to trademark it. Please get on that. We email the. Thank you. No, I just feel like there's something to be...

Because this is a fun concept.

It's fun. It's different. It's weird because now Nowadays, I grew up in the dominant monopolization of basketball in Chicago with Jordan. And because it was mine, it was amazing.

Yeah, you loved it. You had a great childhood.

But for other squads, I'm sure it was just it was lame for so long that he had created one of the most dominant teams of all time. So I think it'd be fun to see them switch. But that was something special, though, because- But that only happens once in a lifetime, man.

It's once in a great, great while. He was a special individual. Totally. His work ethic, his demand of his teammates. He created that. He built it, created it, and his special skills and his leadership, whether you liked it or not, it's still leadership.

But let me see what he does with a bunch of different B and C guys. Let me see what Jordan does the next year with a totally different lineup. I think there's something like I want to see Jordan- Reggie Miller and Isaiah Thomas and Bird and what all those A's did with new Bs. That would be so cool to watch. I want to watch Stockton and Jordan. Would be wild to watch them two together.

The only time we ever got to do that was 92, the dream team.

Right. That's what I'm saying. Why don't we make every year or two, maybe you get two years of this team, and I'm pitching it. You're hearing me at the NBA.

You got to try this. We got to figure out a way because the only way they'll implement it is if they do it on a minor league level and it works.

Well, you could do it in the G League. You could do it in the G League and see how that works in the G League. And if it works in the NBA. I think you just created something amazing.

I know.

By the way, if you steal this idea, what are you looking up? Oh, yeah. It's on record. It's on record. Adam Silver. Adam is a big fan of this show. Adam, if you're listening, Adam Silver, if you're out there listening carefully to this show- We're not asking about it.

I have no claim to this, but I will say- I'll let you in. You're here. I just want a suite. I want to be in the suite with you.

You heard it, Adam. With food service and liquor, top-schelf liquor. Dude, isn't that funny? When you get invited to these sweets at athletic performances or whatever, and if you get into one of these suites, they're amazing to get into one of them. But sometimes you go to one that doesn't have food or booze, and you're like, Oh, man.

Or some nasty ass chicken fingers. Yeah, you're like, This is it? With some bad sauce. I'm like, This is all you got? Then I'm like, Well, I'll roll the dice out of concessions.

I'm going to concessions every time. Yeah. If there's only one thing, and they're like, You guys get Mc Ultra and chicken wings. I'm like, I'll go back to concessions.

And a thing of popcorn that everybody's been finger banging. Yeah, no, thank you. I'm like, God damn.

Not the pokies. No, thank you.

I'll roll a dice in concessions.

So that's the proposition, Mr. Silver, Mr. Adam Silver. If you want a business with us, you know to contact us. You know how to get a hold of us. It's not that hard.

And get the Kings back to Kansas City. No one's watching them in Sacramento. Get the Kings back to Kansas City.

Yeah, why not?

Seriously, we want them. We want them back. You should have never left. And Sacramento doesn't give a shit about the Kings.

No. You know what's so funny is we're playing a show in Sacramento next year, but we're playing a place called like, Wheatland or something. And most of the time, if I misquote it online, if I say we're playing Sacramento, someone goes, you're actually playing Wheatland. But Sacramento doesn't give a shit. They're like, Yeah, man, it's all Sacramento. Whatever. We're what? Don't worry It's not that big of a deal. I don't even know what it's called. Yeah, Sacramento, what is that? Click on the thing. I think it's called Wheatland is the name of the area. But it is funny. Some cities get real sense of... You guys have this in spades because I've talked to you about this. I went to college with a lot of Kansas City guys, which is why I have this weird connection to Kansas City, because a bunch of my boys were from Overland Park and all over.

Which is where I'm from.

Are you really? Oh, that's wild. Park Hill South is where someone went to high school.

And that's where Stone Street. He's from Park Hill area of north. Oh, really? That's in north Kansas City.

Yeah, that's where some of those guys went there. But so I have this weird affinity to them. But they take it. Midwest people know. Kansas City takes it real, real serious. If you're Kansas side, Missouri side. That's like a big Big...

Because no one really knows. And I'm so specific, too, because the simple truth is like Kansas City, Missouri, and Kansas City, Kansas, it's split down the middle. Yeah. And so a lot of people get confused by which is which. Sure. Kansas City, Kansas has a lot of industrial Criole area. And Kansas City, Missouri has the downtown skyline, and they have the Truman Sports Complex, and they have a lot of the goodies. I see what you're doing. But now we've built up a lot of stuff out on the Kansas side with the racetrack and the soccer team. Soccer field, right? That's right. So it's a balancing act or whatever. But I do tell when people say, Where are you from? I'm from Overland Park, Kansas. I'm very specific.

You let them know. Yes. Because it is a big point of contention of people that I know from the area. But what doesn't matter, no matter which side you're from, you're still a Kansas City sports fan. So that division doesn't matter. No. That's what's interesting.

There's no division there.

We're all red. Right. That, I think, is powerful. That's a cool... That's like for me growing up in Chicago, I don't give a shit what part of Wisconsin you're from. They're lunatics about Green Bay. You know what I mean? That's all I got. I know, but it's so big to them. And Chicago is such a mixed bag that there's probably people from other parts of the country that are like, maybe bears fans, maybe not. But if you live in Wisconsin, I don't care if you're from Massachusetts, you could be from New York City, you move to Wisconsin, you become a diehard. That's the one thing I credit them. Or you move back out. Yeah, right.

It's a real quick choice.

Or they beat you up and you leave.

Or they run you out of the state.

You don't have a choice.

Being a golf fan, you appreciate this. So I was lucky enough to play in the Ryder Cup up in Whistling Straits. And my partner, because they knew it was in Wisconsin or whatever, my partner was Hawk. I mean, the crowd, it was a massive crowd, a gallery. It's just a little celebrity match or whatever. It's some European celebrities against some American celebrities or whatever. It's just a little two-man scramble, like nine holes or whatever. But it was a lot of fun. But those fans were going so nuts for AJ, man. Oh, man.

Yeah. Absurd.

It didn't matter what he did. They're like, AJ, they're ripping their hair. They couldn't get enough.

They're tearing their hair out? This is for you, dude.

You see what I did? I love you, AJ.

Is he a good golfer?

Yes.

Well, he probably beats the shit out of the ball. There's no doubt.

He clubs that thing.

It's so funny to watch athletes hit it.

His swing is so violent. It's so violent. It's going three bills every time.

It might not go straight, but it's going three bills. Sometimes over there, but also very far.

But when he did rope it right down the middle.

It is insane to watch. When they do hit it like that, you do see why God made them different. When you see a pro athlete play a sport that's not their own, you're like, oh, my God, you are made completely uniquely different than me.

You and I have both been around professional athletes, and you're 100% right. I don't know how, if it was Jesús. I don't know who blessed them or touched them at birth and granted them the gifts that they have. Their bones are bigger, their muscles, their tendons, everything about them, even their mindset is competition, competition, competition.

This thing is the most unique part about it because I see guys that do other sports that they don't play. And the way they think about these sports, the way that they're competitive, and even in that, you're like, oh, man, you just know how to dissect competitive things better than anybody else. You really have different vision over a game.

Because it's a game, they break it down. You know how to focus, when to focus, and their focus goes from it goes from nothing to hyper.

Right away. Yeah. There's no middle ground. Meanwhile, me and a couple of these, and I'm just like, whatever happens.

I'm taking selfies. I'm like, whatever.

We're out here partying. That is true, man. They just take it to a totally different level. But those programs are the coolest thing to see different people Excel even at that game. I went and did Steph Curry's a couple of years ago in Stanford, and everyone brags that Steph's a good golfer, but he's also just got the swag of an athlete. There's something that they all have.

He has the swagger.

He could eat a sandwich. You'd be like, holy shit, the way he eats that sandwich.

That's the best I've ever seen.

They're just good at that. I don't know. They're better at you. I'd be spilling on my shirt stuff. It's just something about it.

Let us in my beard somehow.

Do I look into ridiculous? Yeah, you look like an idiot. No, they're super fun. Do you get nervous in those things? I get a little nervous. Always.

Oh, my God. My grip pressure goes through the roof. Even though I tell myself to calm down, I say, swing easy, I swing hard. Hard as you can. It's just we're not as conditioned. It's funny, too, because I hear athletes say, I could never do what you do. And Yeah, you could.

Probably.

I'm like, yeah, of course you could. But they are very used to athletic performance in front of people. Our games weren't meant to be put on display. No. They're for us and our friends.

Our little secret. It's my little tiny secret.

So when you have to put our games on display in front of galleries and people. Yeah. Everything gets heightened and all that anxiety comes in.

It comes through.

And golf manifestsces all your... Whatever you're feeling that day, if you're angry, When you get to the course, if you're rushed, if you are preoccupied with a fight with your girl or this or that, it all comes to the golf course. It's not like you put it on the shelf. It's not like you can use it. Like in football, you could use it to take that anger, that frustration, that anxiety. You could pound someone or run hard or get it out of your body. In golf, it just stays inside you and manifestsends in your shitty play. Exactly right.

Yes, you're like, What'd you shoot today? You shouldn't say a number. You should be like, I'll tell you what I shot. I got in a fight with my wife morning. My car needs to be taken back in for the fourth time.

The front nine was me dealing with my fucking manager.

Yeah, exactly right. The front nine was me dealing with my girl. You want to know how I played? You want to ask my kids how I played today? That is so true.

Because you had a full fight with them and nobody knew about it, just you.

And manifest right there. That is true. All that comes in the way that we don't know how to deal with it like they do. I want to know your opinion. You don't have to go too deep, but because I can't avoid it, unfortunately, being a KC guy and our boy Travis with this Taylor Swift thing. Now, do KC fans, are they over this whole nonsense?

Yeah, I think in a way, and when I say over it, I don't mean they're over them.

No, just the publication of it.

Just the constant hype. Yeah, it's so much. Taylor check in all the time.

Why the NFL doing that?

She's his girlfriend, their boyfriend, girlfriend. They're dating or whatever they're doing. They're enjoying it. It is what It comes with being high profile. It just comes with being high profile.

I know, but it's so funny that the NFL is utilizing this to really bank- To win all those Swifties. I know. They knew where the money was. They were like, Dude, put the camera up there, make one of these guys talk about it. At at least once every other break. It's interesting.

It's a very big-They always have to mention it. They do. They always have to mention if she's at the game or not now. I know.

It's so funny.

When they're in Germany, they're like, Well, she's not here.

Yeah, and Taylor is not here today. We will be missing her in the stands.

She's very good at this. Yeah.

She played the stadium seven times, actually, four years ago. These boys can only sell out one. In here, we pour Whisk. Whisk. Do you smell that? It's me, and I smell clean. You want to smell clean all the time, but especially on Valentine's Day. You want to smell better when you're butt naked on the V day, spread out over a bed of flowers and money and chocolate. Guys, we want to be prepared for that moment at all times. You don't want your junk to be smelling like funk. It can ruin what's to come. That's why I'm excited for today's sponsor, Mando. Mando, a whole body deodorant is designed to tackle order wherever it springs up. Put it on your pits, package and feet everywhere in between. Mando's long-lasting, clinically-proven formula controls order for up to 72 hours while the cologne quality sense will make you irresistible to anyone within smelling distance. Make sure that you switch to Mando and smell great all day, and all night, and the next morning. I put some of this Mando underneath my chachones, my chicharrones. I put it down there, and my God, it did smell good. It lasted much longer than traditional body lotions or sprays or whatever else they got going on out there in the world.

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And why are the Germans embracing a Kansas City team?

Well, they pick teams. You see those guys in Europe. You'll see a guy with a Dallas shirt on and you're like, Oh, that's wild. They have no connection. I asked a guy one time. I was in Venice, Italy, during a Super Bowl, probably 15 years ago. I was in college. Yeah, 18 years ago. I'll never forget. We found a bar, a pub that was open after hours because the time difference. The Super Bowl was playing. Guys had different shirts on or were cheering, and they were teams that obviously weren't represented. And I was like, How did you become that fan? A New York Giants. And they always had a long elongated version of like, well, a friend of mine went to New York one time 10 years ago, said it was the most fun he ever had, and he saw a game, and then now I like it. Or they pick one player from... It's not even usually a current player. Sometimes it's like, again, they'll be like, Barry Sanders is why I like the line. And you're like, wow, that's fucking amazing.

I think the Chiefs right now have such a fun roster, and they're doing fun things like winning and dating famous people. Winning, yeah. So that winning helps. But the Chiefs fans at that game in Germany, it was like a home game.

Yeah, but they also had the same intensity that American fans have. They have. Because you forget the way that they treat football, soccer, is how we treat football, football. Yeah. Except I would argue they're way more intense than we are.

And I can see how this happens because on the reverse side of that, I know nothing about the Premier League. I know some names, right? Old names like Beckham and things like that. And I have a cursory understanding of Premier League soccer. Sure. But I shared an office with John Oliver when I was at the Daily Show. He's the best, man. And so I educated him on American football, and he educated me on the Premier League. That's cool. And then he's like, So I'm a Liverpool man. So I was like, I guess I am, too. So that's I can believe it.

Exactly.

But I have no other allegiance other than John introduced me to Liverpool and made me a believer because he's a good propaganda with that. I made him believe in the Chiefs a lot, but then he rejected me at the last minute and went with the Giants.

So fuck him. You know what? He lives in New York. He lives in New York. But even still, you took up Liverpool. John, what's your deal, bud? Yeah. Give us a call. Yeah. Reach out. Yeah, come on.

This is some serious bullshit.

Well, because your allegiance comes from... That happens, too, with my dad-like stuff, and I just like it because of him. I don't... He went to University of Tennessee. I don't have any allegiance in Tennessee, but I support him and I like it because it's his. So if it's like someone you love supports it, you're like, I guess I'm going to do it, too. Right.

And if there's no harm, no foul, I'll get on board.

Yeah, why not? As long as it's not...

So right here in LA, I live in LA. My kids are being raised in LA, but I'm a Kansas City through and through guy. So it's Royals, it's Chiefs. I went to KU, so I'm a Jayhawk. These are just my things. And for the most part, the kids have not had a choice. But I said, listen, you're growing up in LA, you can have the Lakers, you can have the Kings. Clippers. I'll get on board with the Dodgers because they're National League.

That's right.

Unless it's the World Series and they're playing the Royals, I'm going to go. But I'll get on board. I'll wear a Dodgers hat. I'll go out there and play with you and let you have the Dodgers.

And are they LA fans?

They do appreciate having some LA locals that they can get on board with.

We move here. I've been here for so long, too. It's like, what am I going to do? Not go support local sports? I can't see my team. When I do see them, they get romped when they come here. So whatever. It's fine. I had no problem. It's tough for me as a Cubs fan because the Cubs, Dodgers, headbutting that we did during our little triumphant year. But outside of that, yeah, man, I'm a local fan of a lot of sports because I live here. What do you want me to do?

I won't go see the Angels. I mean, I'll go to a game if they're playing the Royals. I've been down there once. But they're American League, and I can't do it.

I also don't want to go down there. It's just too far.

And the good thing, too, the chargers are now LA, so I get to see the Chiefs at least once a year.

That's true. Yeah, that's nice. When they come to town.

And then the Raiders are right there in Vegas, and so they're playing in Vegas once a year. So there's a couple of games.

Yeah, that's happening. Have you been to Vegas to that stadium? Yeah, it's gorgeous. It's unbelievable. Yeah, that's the one thing I'm hoping for that continues. I mean, you two, by the way, you guys, because Arrowhead is Showing her age spots.

I think we're the oldest stadium left in the NFL.

You got to be, right? Because now that Oakland's gone, you guys got to be it, right?

Yeah. And we were built in '72.

Well, no, Soulja Field, we're still the oldest. But the irony is we don't own that place.

No, but you have a new field. Soulja Field has a new field.

It had a upgrade to the... It had a facelift.

It was just a facelift? It wasn't a whole thing?

No, just a facelift. Lambo, too. Lambo is one of the old boys. Yeah, that's right. And there you are, Arrowhead, number three. Lambo. Yeah, I can't believe we skipped over there.

But here's the thing. Like, Kansas City, in my opinion, and probably Lambo, if they're going to embrace the future.

They'll never change that field. That's insane.

I know, but they got to put a roof on it so that they can have a Super Bowl. Same thing with Chicago. You're going to have to put a roof on Soulja Field. Well, no, they're going to- Aerohead needs a roof. The thing is, nowadays, the design is amazing. You can do these retractable. When the weather's nice, open it up, have an outdoor game. But in those cold months, you got to be able to cap it off so that you can get your Super Bowl.

See, I agree. I'm one of these guys, and I said that during the Denver-Kansy City game. I said, look, it's cool that there's snow, but also would be a little bit easier on injury and a little bit easier on their bodies if they could play with a little bit of cover.

And now that they're asking them to play more games.

Yeah, it's like, cover these guys up. Let them let them last a little bit longer. You're already getting them to play on turf sometimes, which is from what I hear from a lot of those guys is the hardest thing on their knees and their body. So it's like, all right, well, then cover it. I know that's I get that some people are, you can't cover it. It's supposed to be a snowball, dude. But it's like, no, dude, this is for the health and safety of these guys so they can continue their careers.

I agree. And on one hand, I appreciate the purity of a snow game or a mud game or a rain.

It's cool.

The elements. There's something cool about that, and I do respect and appreciate that. Now I'm thinking of the financials of it, which is when a stadium gets to be 50 years old, 50 31 years old, and it's time for a new stadium, you got to think about putting a retractable roof on it. Yeah, come on. Especially if you want to host a Super Bowl.

Yeah. Or do what Arizona did, grow grass outside, which I think is one of the coolest. I was like, How come everybody doesn't do that? Grow the grass outside? When the field-And they push it in and then they bring it out. Yeah, it's so rad.

Yeah, why not? The design ability and the engineering that can be done, there's no reason not to do this stuff.

Yeah, I think there's a lot of pride stuff with Chicago. Our whole thing is they invested in property out in Arlington where the racetrack used to be. But Chicago, there's a lot of elements that are fighting on moving it because people don't want to move it. But this is a boring fact. But we don't own that stadium. The city does. The Park district owns it.

Well, they should.

We're not making all the money on it.

If they want that waterfront property, they want to keep Soulja Boy, just put a dome on it because that wind coming off the water is so cold.

It's comical. I remember going to games as a kid. It's so cold. And enjoying none of it until we got back in the car. Not only because- Because it's true. Because it's painful. They also lost every time. As a kid, I think I went to one game that we won. And then also you're having fun because you're with your friends, especially when we were young. We went to a couple of rain games, like heavy, heavy rain games. I remember my buddy Josh and Sean, and those days were rad because it was fun and you're young. But as you start to get older and want to watch the game more, you're like, I can't do this. I'm uncomfortable. There's no way they like this. It's so freezing. Your face hurts. Your nose is gone. Forget it. Your nose is absolutely gone. It's It's rock solid. It's painful.

It hurts. It's actual physical pain. And now it's funny because the older I get, the more I'm like, You know what? Do I want to fight the traffic? Fight the people, pay ridiculous prices at concession, all this stuff on top of the ticket. Or do I want to stay in my comfy jammies on my awesome couch?

My big ass TV.

With my fireplace and my big ass TV, and then go take a quality dump or whiz with no No pressure, no rush, no people staring, and not have to listen to the guy next to me blast out his burrito. Because it's obnoxious, like the men's rooms and bathroom.

There's a gross thing on earth. It's gross. It's gross. It's hideous, right?

Yeah. So it's like, do I want all that Or do I just want to stay home and I'll be good?

Well, there's two things you made me think of. One, that's my reasoning for how much I get mad at Los Angeles, because a lot of times with Dodger Games, they black them out. What city can't you watch your own local team? I I think that's lunacy to me unless you have a certain cable provider. That's bonkers. I've sent it a thousand times. Shame on the city for doing that to its own people. But also staying at home thing, the new thing that they're pitching is the metaverse of buying the online tickets. Have you seen this? I've heard about it, but I don't know anything about it. Will you put on the Quest or whatever it's called, and you can be at the game sitting in proverbial seats.

That's unbelievable.

So you are still at home, but you're still at the game. And I think that is 100% the future. To supplement what you're talking about is like, Why wouldn't I just rather sit at home but be at the game? I'm there. I'm seeing it like it's live. I'm literally watching a live stream.

I'm totally down. Sofi Stadium is a gorgeous stadium. It's really beautiful. Getting in and out of Sofi.

Yeah, gun in my mouth.

It's two hours.

Gun in my mouth.

It's 2 hours either side of the game. Two hours getting in, two hours getting out. That's absurd. How did they not know? How did they not build? How did they not build arteries in and out of that place?

Didn't do it properly. I think there's one entrance and exit. And by the way, the people that work it, shout out, no hate. But every time I go, I'm always like, Where's parking lot A? And they're like, I have no idea.

They have no idea. Completely. They have not trained a single person. I got to the stadium and I was like, Do you know where this section is? They go, No, Man. No. I was like, Do you know anybody that does? No, man, walk it off. Yeah, they're like, I don't know, man. Walk it off. It's almost like, Fuck you. How dare you ask me.

Dude, I'm working here. Leave me alone. You're like, All right.

But I'm like, So no one at the stadium was trained. No staff member got any education training on the stadium, the parking lots, what's where. You can say, okay, even if you don't teach them everything about it, just say this is where you're going to be working. To your left is this entrance, to your right is that entrance, and that's parking lot that's out in front of you.

Get familiar with the area. Yeah, just a little note. We went to go see Metallica there, and it was the funniest thing as we walked up and I was like, I think this is the gate we're supposed to be going in. The guy looked at the tickets and he goes, your guess is as good as mine. I was like, all right. And it wasn't. We had to walk all the way around. It's fine. I don't care. But it was like, yeah, I guess they're just shooting our shot. At some point, you do get a hold of it if you've gone enough where you're like, I know. I think I know the side I'm supposed to be going into.

Well, I think I've been three or four times now. Yeah. And this last trip, I finally was like, okay, I think from now on, I'm only going to try to park in this parking lot.

Yeah, this is the one.

And I'm only going to try to use this entrance because this worked. This was quick and easy.

This works. This works. Don't upset this.

And I got out pretty easy. So I was like, okay, I'll tell no one of this secret.

No one will know.

No one will ever know.

And to your kids, you're like, don't say a word to any of your friends at school. Their father should not know my little secret. My dad always had little tricks like that, too, or stuff that he was like, no, no, this is the best place to park. We'll get in and out of this thing. And I was always like, how do you... Dads have a way of figuring out their little tricks of whatever their thing is. Or like my mom, shout out to my mom who called before the show. My mom, since I was a kid, refuses to park at the grocery store in a regular spot because the parking lot's always filled with cars. She parks in the fire lane alongside and then puts on her flasher sometimes and just goes in shops and has been doing this. By the way, I'm calling her out. You got a ticket or a tower. Get her out of there. She's been doing this for so long. She parks in the fire lane illegally next to the grocery. My dad's always like, you're going to get towed. She's never gotten towed, never gotten a ticket, never once.

I just like the moxie of it.

She does not care.

I like that at some point she had enough. It was like, I'm going to roll the dice, but this play is worth it. It worked.

I can't believe she's never been towed.

The thing is she keeps going back to the well, though. The day will come.

She's an addict for good parking. She needs to go to rehab. Forget her park. But she does that all the time. She has that... My mom has got that thing in her. I don't know if it's a city kid thing, but you'll just do it and let them tell me I can't do it type of vibe. Where in LA, I'm like, oh, they'll tow your car. They'll tow it within seconds of me parking.

They can't get anything right in this town except for speeding tickets, parking tickets.

Oh, they'll smoke you.

Oh, it's like they lay in wait. They're hiding in bushes. They're a little creep. Yeah, they're just the worst.

But they can't do anything else.

No, no, no. Everything else has gone to shit. But, boy, they can find a way to give you a ticket.

Oh, yeah. My friends just got robbed They just got their house broken in, too, unfortunately. And the cop showed up. And you feel bad because the guy's like, look, man, budget constraints. We don't have enough guys to even really...

This is not going to be investigated.

Yeah. He goes, we're going to get somebody at some point to come to the house. But he goes, how long can you not touch where they broke in? And they were like, they broke into our bedroom. And he's like, Yeah. So he's like, I don't know what to tell you. Tough luck. Yeah. Good shit. Tough shit. But it sucks. You feel bad. The cops are like, We have no... They're like, Our resources are lower than they've ever been. He's like, So we can't do anything else.

It's a huge bummer. That's the genius of defunding the police. I know. Yeah.

We don't need you guys. That makes all the sense in the world. Unless we get robbed. Then we'll need you. No, yes. So it sucks. It's that thing where they... It sucked because they were like, these guys broke in and they think it was an inside job. Oh, that sucks even more. I think they know it was inside. Well, because it was someone that had known where that stuff was.

That stuff hurts.

Then you go through the whole thing.

Yeah, because then you're like, Oh, that feels way more of a violation.

Who's been in my house? I think about him because he's been in my house. Macone's been in my house. I think if we ever get stolen from, it's got to be you. It's got to be. It's got to be him. He looks like he knows someone that wants to rob us.

No offense, Macone, but there's so many things working against you.

Show him your hair. Look what he did for his hair. We did that for another show. Jesus Christ. He commits to the bit, baby. The kid commits to the bit.

You do commit, sir.

Yeah. Actually. Yeah, Yeah, kudos big time, but also very scary that he did it. When he did it, I thought, Man, it's a bad idea. I'm glad he did it because I told him to. Or actually, I said, If you really commit, I'll be real proud.

You look like a young Gallagher.

He does. He really does like a Gallagher.

He really does with the hair. All you need is a sludge ematic, my friend.

But the only thing he's breaking is my heart. Gallagher was one of those guys that I remember as a kid. I'm not dissing him, but I remember thinking it was so incredibly funny, absurdly funny. And then I got older and I was like, This is funny, but I don't know if it's that. It was just crazy more than funny.

It was 100% unique.

Yeah, it was so different.

Nobody was doing So it was he had his own lane. Totally. And back in the day, that made all the difference. Because Steven Wright had his own lane because of his delivery. Yeah, totally. And so he had his lane, and Gallagher had his lane, and Kennison had his lane. And it was all because they had their own signature.

You have such a love for stand-up. I mean, you got a big old crush on it. I do.

I grew up loving. I remember in the '80s, my dad dropping me off to see Sam Keneson down at Kansas City Municipal Auditorium. Wow. And Steven Wright. I would go see all the comedians. One of my first jobs when I was in college, I was a 19-year-old doorman. I wasn't big enough to be a bouncer or whatever, but I was a doorman at Stanford & Sons Comedy Club.

No shit. It was Craig Glazer. Yeah.

Craig Glazer.

Rest in peace.

Rest in peace.

God bless. Rest in peace. There was a club owner from... We've talked about it sometimes on this show, but Craig's no longer with us. One of the first times I ever played that club, he was a club owner of the club in Kansas City. He picked me up from the airport in a Lotus in a little tiny sports car. They're the smallest things on Earth, right? I'm not particularly a short guy. I'm cramped in this little Lotus with my luggage on my lap, my duffle bag on This is so quintessential. And my neck is craned like this. And he's like, yeah, man, it's going to be a great weekend. And you're going to rip. You're going to love the new club, what we've done to the club. That's exactly how he sounded.

Spot on.

It's spot on. What we've done to the club, Santino, you're going to lose your shit. That's exactly.

It was always smoking. With the windows closed.

In the Lotus, he would keep them closed. I was like, Can we crack the window? He's like, No, man, I'm going to give you my book.

It's getting into my clothes, Craig. Jesus Christ.

It's soaking through my soul. Then I'll never forget, dude. He picked me up in the Lotus and he goes, We got to go pick up a friend of mine. I thought, This is a two-seat car. There are no other seats. I thought it was a joke, and I go, Yeah, we'll put him on the roof. He goes, No, we do. We got to pick her up. He used to call her Black Barbie. That was her name. She was this beautiful young black girl who was got... I'm not kidding. She was wearing heels, but even without heels, maybe 5'11. In heels, maybe 6'3. I go, Oh, we are really picking up. Yeah, you got to pick a Black Barbie. You She'll love you. You're going to love her. You're going to hang with us all day. When we get lunch. This young, beautiful black woman comes up to the car and I go, Oh, do you want me to get out? I'm thinking, should I walk to the hotel?

Am I taking a cab from here?

I get out of the car. And he's like, What the fuck are you doing?

And I was like, What is she not going to sit on my lap, Craig?

How is this happening? And he goes, She'll get in the back. Don't worry about it. And she's like, I've been in the back before. I'll do it. And I was like, Please don't get in the back of the... I was like, Can I just walk to the hotel?

Yeah, please.

But, Craig, You're making it worse, Craig.

No, he's insane. But that's so his style. That was so him.

He's like, Come on, get in the back, baby. Get in the back. And this poor woman is crawling in the back. I'm like, No, dude, I'm going to walk. It's a mile or so away. I'm going to walk. And he was like, No, no. No walk. Come on, man. Too cold to walk.

I'm like you. I'd roll into town. I worked there when I was in college or whatever. But then when I came back doing standup, same thing. But when we go to the radio tour, the radio shows to promote the show.

Yeah, the radio tour.

I know that. Bob and Tom. Yeah. You'd hit Johnny Dare.

Johnny Dare. That was it.

You'd hit these guys and you'd walk in and they'd be like, oh, Jesus, here's Craig. The whole time, they just rip it off. He'd be like, what do you want from me?

What do you want from me? It's not about you. At some point, you're like, am I plugging my show?

Exactly. At the very end of this hour long, fuck on Craig, they'd go, and Rigger, you're going to be at the club this weekend, right? I think so, unless I should just leave.

No, Craig, am I here? I always hated that. Yeah, they would rag on him for the longest time. You're going to love radio. I would do four of them. He was like, You got to be up five o'clock in your hallway ready to rock. I'd be miserably hung over and tired.

I was like, Everybody in this fucking town knows I'm here. We're done. It's over. No, man.

They got to know, man. At one time, I remember he was like, We're building a catwalk. Wait till you see a fuck. We're going to build a fucking catwalk. I was like, Are you doing modeling shows? Why would we? He's like, No, Rockstar comics need catwalks. He always thought like... He had this way about him that even if you knew he was wrong, he would convince you. I don't know, maybe That's a fucking good idea. I have no idea.

To appreciate Craig, you had to appreciate the fact that he ran hot and loose.

Yeah, he was absurd.

He had been to the federal pen. He had lived a life. Let's just say that. He had lived a life.

He was a distributor at one point.

He lived a hard, fast, fast lane life. Yeah, dude. So if you were with him, it was always just a character study.

Yeah. No, honestly, and it was what not to do. It was... And God bless. Rest in peace. The guy was always good to me. Those guys that gave me my start.

I didn't mean to make that sound like I was picking on him, but I just wanted people to know he ran Lucid fast. So when you were with him, it was like being shot out of a cannon.

Yeah. Well, like those guys that gave... Who are some other clubs that gave you the shot when you were young? Who gave you a spot? Was he one of the guys that put you on earlier than you should have?

Maybe, yeah. Yes. I will say that. Yes. I shouldn't have been headlining.

Yeah. And he let me- Same for me.

He let me headline.

I had like 38 minutes, and he's like, You're fine, dude. You just ramble for 20 more.

I think he was very gracious about that. There was a couple like stand-up New York there on 79th and Broadway. They were pretty nice to me. Ucb Theater was gracious. The Slipper Room. A lot of New York, Piano Room. A lot of New York. Put you on a little bit. Gave me the stage time.

What about you and performing now?

Well, now I haven't done stand-up in, God, 10 years.

I know, but why not?

Honest truth was I got Fox NFL, and I was making enough money from that that it made up for the stand-up because I wasn't making much money. I was doing club acts. I wasn't selling out theaters or anything.

But you It would now, though.

Maybe, but my set is obviously way too old and it's tired. I've run it all across the country. Let's get you humming again, baby. I got to create a new set. I remember creating that first set. To me, it was a beast. It took a year and a half to get that 45, 50 minutes. It's great. Yeah. And I was like, God. So the thought of diving back in. And the thing was, when I started the standup, it was in New York, and you could hit New York City. You could hit five mics a night. Yeah. Totally. And all you do is jump in a cabin, bing, bang, boom. You could get the work. Here, I live way out in the burbs. I live out way out there. And so I'd have to drive all the way in to maybe get a five-minute spot at one place, and I'd have to put my name on that. And then haul ass maybe to a second place and get my name on that list maybe for another five minutes. So you're talking about hours for maybe a total of 10 minutes stage time? Too much. In LA, it's tough.

It is. I know, but you're at a level where you could. I mean, I've said that to her. We have mutual friends, of course. Sarah Tiana is probably our closest bond. And we've talked many times about you and about because your brain, the way it works and your comedic past, I've always thought, I've said I got that to her multiple times. I was like, I wonder if he would ever dive back in.

I have wanted to.

I think you should, man.

I would love to. It's one of those things, too, where I got a... It's a gut check for me. I got to get my- But isn't that great? It is. I like being scared. Yeah, that makes sense.

I like being Dude, that's funny.

I love it and I hate it. I love it and I hate it. But that's the best part. I know. I got to kick myself in the ass.

Rogan used to say that to me all the time, by the way. Whenever it's like, right before I'd go on stage sometimes when I was touring with him, he'd be like, Smoke this joint with me. I'm like, I don't want to. He's like, You're afraid to be scared? And I was like, All right, dude.

Well, he does what buttons to push.

But it would work because he was true. He's like, Do it. It would have worked on me. He's like, Do it. It would have worked on me. It's a fun experiment. He's like, You're comfortable, so put yourself in a little uncomfortable position and see how well you get out of it. It was It was like a trick of... And it wasn't like, substance is the way to trick yourself. But it was just one little thing of him going, See how uncomfortable you are.

Here's an obstacle. Let's see how you navigate it.

Yeah. And it actually, sometimes I was like, Wow, that's fucking rad. Because it was heavy. It feels heavy. And then you're like, All right, I know how to do I know how to figure this out.

There is something I will say, what I do miss. It's not the life because-The life is shit. Life is hard.

Yeah.

But what I did miss is the nights when you really connected, the nights when you were The audience was ready. You were ready, and you were speaking the same language. Yeah, man. Those were such special nights.

When you're humming, it's a different vibration. What it does to you, unfortunately, is at night, I just can't cool off. I couldn't either.

It's really tough. And as the headline, you're the last guy. So good night, everybody. One o'clock in the morning, 12:30, whatever it was. And then your adrenaline is cooking with gas. So you go out with the guys that you're performing with.

Get food, get drinks.

You get some drinks. By the time you're at some diner at five in the in the morning, finishing off, and you're like, why do I keep gaining weight? Why am I exhausted? And then you're like, I got to calm down. So you burn a cigarette. Exactly. It's a fucking hard life.

It's tough. Yeah. It's not good for it. So I know why you're not getting back into it. That being said.

As long as they got milkshakes. If they got milkshakes, I got a new vice. It's milkshakes.

We'll get that milkshake club going. I'll, of course, put the link in the description below. I want to thank the Riggs for coming by. We got to golf again soon As soon as I'm back to good health. Yes. I'm in bad back health right now. I'm still dealing with nonsense, dude.

Oh, dude, I hate that. The back is everything.

Yeah, I know. And especially with golf, it's okay. And I've had so many people be like, Hey, can you play? I'm like, I can't. And I want to so bad. But when we do get back, you and I are going to get back out and smack it again.

Let me know when you're feeling it, when you're feeling like you're ready. Yeah, we'll get. We'll start to check it out. Let me know because it's just right down the road here, man.

I know. Let's go. We'll start to get back in it. Riggs Picks is available for you to get out and enjoy right now. We'll link it below. If you would please look into that camera right there. We end the episode the same way with one word or one phrase. It depends on how much you want to divulge. It could be something It could be something very heartfelt and meaningful. But when you're ready into that camera, you end the episode.

Act a nonverba. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You were that creature in the ginger beared. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are huge as well. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.