Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

What up, whiskey? Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. Is it your first time joining the show? Welcome to the show. Okay. Tell someone about it. Spread the word around. My guest today, Steve O. My man, Steve O. He's on tour right now doing the bucket list tour. Go to Steve o.com and get those tickets. Go check him out. He's on the road. He's all over the place. This dude is a machine. Some of the most wild stuff I think I've ever seen in my entire life around the bucket list. So go check it out. Also, come see me and Bobby Lee. Me and Robert E. Lee are touring around the country to finish the Bad Friends tour in 2024. We'll be done for a long time. We're going to be doing Atlantic City, Reno, Salt Lake City, Temecula, Sacramento, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, Niagara Falls, Tucson, and we're finishing the tour in Las Vegas, Nevada, on 424 20. Man, come out and see us. Badfriendspod.com for those tickets. Badfriendspod.com. Enough rambling. Let's go to the episode.

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In here, we pour. Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy. Ginger, like vampires. The ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskeys, $75 for the horse. Gingers. Oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent Ginger. I like Ginger. Oh, it's like jackass meets stand up. And I'm fucking super stoked on. Thank you so much.

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Dude, you're a fucking grade eight. I'm actually kind of like. I might throw up. That's like fucking ape shit, dude. Is there any way you can give us footage so we can show it on the show or. No? Do you not want it out? It's up to you. Do you have clips of that that you post? That we can post? Don't worry about it now. Don't worry about it now.

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I have a vasectomy olympics promo that.

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I just give it to us so we can at least put it on the episode.

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Yeah, fuck it.

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How long are you touring this for, by the way?

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I've already toured it. I've ran the fucking shit. I toured it to death.

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What are you going to do in the new year? Are you not going to tour it in the new year?

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I'm going to take my time and put together my new hour.

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Another hour. You're not going out.

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I just got to shoot all my.

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I know. Yeah, you got to put it together, but that's fucking. I'm, like, in shock. I've never seen anything like that in my entire life. I'm, like, literally shocked out of my fucking mind. Also, I'm dumb. I didn't know that you. I thought people, they pass you out when they do a vasectomy. They don't put anybody under.

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You can. Some people will go completely under, but mostly what it is, it's like when you go to the dentist to get one tooth worked on, they'll do a little prick which numbs the area, and all you feel is that one little prick. Then they can grind.

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Then it doesn't matter, right? It's exactly like, dude, I've literally never seen them cut that. I didn't know they cut it like that.

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I didn't know what it was. Isn't it fascinating? I had no idea how a vasectomy works.

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How quick, too. That was only, like, ten minutes.

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Yeah, super quick.

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God, no. I don't know if I could ever do it. I don't know if I could ever do it.

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Do you want to have kids?

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Sure. But even if I didn't, I don't even know if I want to fucking snip my balls and fucking. I don't know, dude. I feel so weird about it.

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On a cost benefit ratio, what if it fucks up?

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What percentage of asctomies go awry? That's kind of how I feel. I'm like, what percentage of asectomies?

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Let me tell you how it worked. Oh, holy crap. Did I say 13.6% don't work?

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Less than 1% of vasectomies fail.

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Here's the thing, okay? Before getting the vasectomy, it was very important to me to answer the question that I get for the last 20 years, almost more than anything. Like, after all of the terrible things that have happened to my balls.

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Yeah, we've all seen them over the past 20 years.

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Could I have kids if I wanted to? Like, I couldn't just go get the snip and never know. Right? So before the vasectomy, I went into the fertility clinic, and I tugged one off.

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Yeah. You have to.

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Yeah. I'm giving away a little bit of what's in the special. I don't mind at all. They told me that the average man has about 20 to 30 million sperm per milliliter of jizz, right?

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Yeah.

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I clocked in at 51 million.

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51 million. Congratulations. You beat me. I always think I was 38 million or something.

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Wow, dude, 39. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.

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That's exactly right.

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And then after the vasectomy, I went back. So what they do, they say, wait 30 days and then go back, and they put it under the microscope again. 30 days later, I went back. There was not even a corpse on the battlefield.

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They were stronger.

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No, not even a corpse on the battlefield. There was nothing. They had cut the tubes, which delivered the sperm.

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Oh, you're saying there was no sperm left? Yeah.

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I went from 51 million, like, aggressive swimmers, and then it was like they put.

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God bless.

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Just glass. Just glass.

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Just glass.

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Yeah.

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That is insane.

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And so now my lady and I hump and dump. Hump and dump.

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Hump and dump in the fucking Steve o household.

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Yeah.

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She was like, no, I don't want kids either. Right? She said no.

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Yeah, she didn't want kids. Before we even met, I didn't want kids. It's crazy, because I've done, like, a million things to promote this. Not once have we gotten into the actual mechanics of a vasectomy.

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Yeah, well, that's the real deal. We just saw, like, the real deal snipping of an actual tube. It's funny because it looks like a tube. I didn't think it would look like a tube. You know, how can they say I have really bad nerve pain? And they always say, pinch a nerve. You've heard that before.

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Yeah.

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No such thing. It's not real. Like, the nerve isn't a hose. It's actually more like a flat. It's flat. So you can impinge a nerve, but you can't really hose it off. That's a fucking hose. That's a straight up hose.

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It is a tube. It is a tube. It's called the vast deference.

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Vast.

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Yeah. And it delivers sperm from the nuts.

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Through the wiener to your boy. More importantly. More importantly for those that are watching right now, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Jr. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that from my guest, but I meet him once again today. It's Steve o on the show. It's a mid show intro. We're talking about his special, his vasectomy that you get to see unedited, unblurred, straight from the fucking source. You see his nuts open up, go watch bucket list on your own website. Steve.com. Your own website. And you get to see. Well, we got to see some fun. I don't want to tell too much.

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But I mean, dude, when I was a kid, I was, like, twelve years old, I heard a joke. What's the definition of macho? And it was a man who jogs home from his own vasectomy.

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That's funny.

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And I always wanted to be macho.

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And you did.

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That was my thing. So I remembered that joke, and it was, like, the oldest, probably my first real stunt idea. And you did jog home based on that joke? Like, man, when I grow up, I should get a vasectomy, and I should do more than just jog. I should set a record for the most macho guy there's ever been.

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Did you feel more macho after that?

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Well, yeah, for sure.

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Yeah. Your balls were fucking black and blue. How long do you have bruises on your nuts for?

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My ball sack looked like that. Like a plum for, I don't know, about a week.

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Have you gone in and gotten your nuts checked enough just to make sure that you haven't done any sort of shape damage to them?

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I don't think I've done shape damage.

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No, they still hold their core.

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Yeah, I don't think I've done any shape damage. And who cares?

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Yeah, I guess if they're miss shaped. I don't know. It might feel weird when you. I don't know. I guess I have no idea what it would feel like to have, like, just a bruised testicle. I don't want to ever find out. The fact that you guys, since I've seen the shows over the years take shape, the fact that so many of you guys are down to just get fucking walloped in the nuts makes me think they're so much more durable than we ever thought. I imagine cavemen must have been so delicate. And then one dude smacked his nuts on something, was like, it's fine. You could fucking run full speed, fall, smash a nut. It'll come right back. Perhaps, maybe. I'm assuming they used to be real careful with them, right? And then people got over it. Then they probably tied them up and shit, and then kicked each other in the fucking dick like you guys do. I still can't believe you guys do that shit. I've been kicked in the nuts once, and it caused a massive fight in elementary school, and after that, I've never, ever been kicked in the nuts.

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The cup test? Yeah. Shit, like, yeah, it's fucking insane to sit there and let someone fucking do that to.

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Uh.

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Has anybody had a damaged dick? Doesn't Knoxville have a damaged dick?

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Knoxville had a broken urethra.

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It doesn't even sound like that's real.

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Well, no, it was very real. He tried to do a double backflip on a motocross bike. That was the idea. He didn't even come close to one flip. He just got upside down. They said. They told him, do not let go of the bike, because the bike will come up, and it'll come down and land on 100%.

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Yeah.

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And he goes up there. All he managed to do is get upside down, let go of the bike. The bike went way up in the air, and then the bike came down and landed square on his wiener and broke his wiener. And he had a catheter for. Oh, yeah, there it is. He had a catheter for, like, years. Years. He had a lemonade stand, lemonade bag tied to his leg.

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But now he's fine. They pulled the tube out, and now he works.

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Yes.

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Don't let go of the bike. That wasn't it.

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But the first angle.

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First one. Was it. Also, speaking of shit like this crashing.

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Maybe it wasn't in the handlebar is what got him.

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Oh, it did. Oh, there we go.

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Yeah.

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Show me this bow to your head for it so the camera can see this tattoo on your head, dude. I mean, what are we talking about?

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It's crash test dummy.

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I know what it is, dude. Yeah, I got a big fan of the band crash test dummies. You got the crash test dummy emblem on your forehead. I remember those commercials. I used to love those. You don't remember those. You remember those commercials, don't you? Where they used to talk to each other, the crash test dummies?

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Oh, wow. I think I kind of do.

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Yeah, that was like the. Yeah, the commercials were kind of funny with each other.

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Nate, Jared, about on your paypal.

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And they'd fucking run into a wall at, like, 50 miles an hour.

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Yeah.

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What made you get this, dude?

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I got it right before I did my first crash test dummy stunt a couple of months ago.

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But were you like, I want to do this, or was someone like, you should fucking get a crash test dummy tab.

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I've had the idea forever. I've literally had the idea forever to dress up like a crash test dummy and recreate what you've always seen. The car just goes into the wall, right? Super slow mo. The bag opens up, and, yes, I bought a car for no purpose other than to just crash, crash it into a wall. Make sure the airbags work. It's good, because for my next hour, I'm going to alienate a lot of people. And so I figured if I weave through the hour, like, a recurring crash test dummy bit to appeal to the macho kind of base, kind of keep them looped in because I'm going into some weird areas.

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So for people that don't know, people have to watch a special to go see the bucket list. It took you a year of filming and then a year of touring, right?

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Is that what you did for the bucket list? I spent eight months. Eight months filming the stunts, like the vignettes. And then once I filmed it, then I would go to the comedy store, the improv laugh factory, and just work out the material for that bit. It was awesome. Each chunk of the show I did as, like, local sets, and then put it all together for the tour.

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But the new one's going to be a crash test dummy special.

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No, the new one's called Steve O's Gone Too Far tour. And that crash test dummy is just one element.

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That's a piece of it.

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Yeah, that's a piece.

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You're going further than you've ever done on this. Is this going to be like the last version of this or you're going to.

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I think so. I was speaking with Caitlyn Jenner the other day. Yeah.

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What Caitlin have to say, is Caitlin going to get involved?

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I didn't bring it up, but there is definitely room for that.

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Are you going to make.

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And Caitlin was lovely. I had the best time. And what I filmed with Caitlin and Lamar Odom won't come out until, like, deep smoking crack.

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What were you guys doing?

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They have a new. And I hope know not upsetting anybody by saying that, but it's a joke. Yeah, it's fine. But Caitlin said about the way that I keep having to raise the bar and push myself further and risk my life.

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More.

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An analogy. She said Elton John used to have all these elaborate outfits, and each one was just crazier than the last. And then he got to a point, he's like, you know, like Jesus, and then he's scared of wearing normal clothes.

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Yeah. Once you get over it, you're done. So now you're going to go back, you're going to be wearing suits, and you're going to be like TiVo. As Mulaney. TiVo's up there. He's like, you know when you're cooking toast, normal ass stand up.

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Yeah. I really, really am committed to one more multimedia hour.

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That is just a big undertaking.

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It is. It's terrifying.

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And also, the way you tour is fucking lunacy. The last time we sat, well, we were on bad friends, but before that, we were in Australia in my hotel, and this dude set up a podcast in my hotel room when I was down there. Shooting a movie and your touring schedule is disgusting. You have so many people with you and you go like, I don't know how you do. Like with us, we had to take big breaks. I couldn't do it. We had a chunk on the bus and I was like, fuck this. But you bust it or. Well, you vanned it too, right? Didn't you, Van?

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Well, I started out renting like a legit prevost tour bus.

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Yeah, the real deal. Yeah.

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That's an expensive proposition, man.

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Absurd.

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Renting a prevost. And I was just like, oh, God.

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It'S so much money. People don't know that costs so much money to outfit those things. Yeah, and you'd pay for a driver and he has to take breaks and you have to get hotels.

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It's insane.

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It's so much money.

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So what I did, I bought, literally like national Lampoons vacation RV. Yeah, I bought an rV. I put the obnoxious like, Burt Kreischer wrap on it, which says Steve O and everything, and just ran that.

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Know you still have it, though.

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Yeah, I do.

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Really?

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I've since peeled off the wrap.

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Yeah, you got to take that off.

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So now I have the cloak of anonymity. Yeah, but it's great. I love it, man. It's so great. When you graduate from comedy clubs to theaters, it's cool.

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I do love the clubs, though, because you really get a different vibe in a club. You really get to kind of peel out some jokes and really dig in deep into them. That's what I do still love about the clubs. I think I'm going to go back and do clubs next year to really go back and just start to feel it deeper again. Because sometimes the theater shows are like such a show, and you don't get to do that old, that game of operation that you get to play in a club with jokes where you're like, ooh, where can I go with this thing? And how far up can I go and how theaters, you don't really have the opportunity to do that.

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I think that you can work on material just fine in a theater.

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You can. Yeah.

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And I also just beat the whole crowded restaurant. People are so busy eating.

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Well, that part's a bummer. Yeah. That's why you got to pick your clubs carefully. You just got to pick the spots that you do that are like comedy centric or comedy based or their history is based on that. Right. When you do fucking the strip mall ones, it's tougher.

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And never mind the whole dynamic of the comedy club, just the fact that when you're in the comedy club, you go to one city per week. You're in that one spot all weekend, Thursday through Sunday. And there's no such thing as shows on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

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Yeah.

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Whereas when you graduate to the theaters, now all of a sudden, all seven days of the week, you can do shows.

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You can do shows, yeah.

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And every night you can do as many people as you can do for a whole week in a comedy.

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Totally. Did you ever go to Asia? Did you ever do Singapore? We got an offer to do Singapore. Did you do that?

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I did one in Singapore.

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How was that? Was that worth it?

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Yeah, it was great. It was a huge turnout.

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Is it a lot of expats? Is that what it is?

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Like a lot of fucking some? I don't think a lot. I think that a lot of people speak English. In mean, really? English is a dominant.

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That's right, baby. Respect us, rest of the world.

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I mean, more people speak English in China than any other country in the world. But that's just a numbers game.

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That's also because they're really good at. They know. They know how to fucking. They got our number. They're pretty good at taking us to the cleaners. And that's not a racial joke, so don't laugh. That's not funny, dude. No, but I think it's rad that you like, because I've seen you over the years do that. Make the show to do the show, which is another step that most comic. I mean, that's a fuckload of work, dude. I give you a lot of credit. You're making the show, then you have to make the show, which most of us, we have to just make the fucking hour. Take it out. You have to make it, then take it out and then do it to show it. But I do like that you're selling it on your own site. I just had a phone call with a budy yesterday who's going back and forth over where he's going to put out a special. And it was a long conversation about, like, what's the move? I was like, I don't know, man. Maybe just put it out yourself. That's what you did. Which I think a lot of people are kind of maybe thinking about doing.

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Just throw it up on your own shit.

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This is a really interesting thing to get into. I would have loved to have been on Netflix.

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Just for the namesake.

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Yeah. For me, people look sideways at me. I'm Steve o from Jack, as always. Now Steve o is doing stand know, and it's felt like an uphill battle to kind of earn my seat at the. Each time I've gone to Netflix, and.

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They don't want it.

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I think that Robbie Pra has some prejudice against the idea of Steve O doing stand up. He even said, when I came for my last special, I think it was directly from his that I deal with pure stand ups, like lifelong ups, he thinks, gimmick kind of thing, and that was kind of crushing. So my last special, which was multimedia, and it had the whole cast of jackass, it was really something awesome. I put that out on my own website, and I did very well, because.

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The goal is, what do you want out of it? Right? That's the whole end game of everything. Do you want the money out of it? Do you want the recognition? What do you want?

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That's the thing. I did well financially. As far as all the money I invested in making that show, I got way more than I put into it.

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But the goal is, you want the recognition of someone like Netflix.

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Right. I just felt this time around, like, having done stand up for 13 years and. And with disgusting touring schedules.

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Yeah.

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Like, I've been relentless. I've just been grinding. And there were five and a half years in between my second and third special. Those five and a half years, you.

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Really nailed it down.

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I mean, I just felt like now with the format, like, the whole approach, I have to. It. It's like jackass stunts meets stand up all boiled into this multimedia thing. Like, it's finally there. Now I just want everybody to see it. So I go to Netflix, and arguably, I don't know if it's the prejudice or if it's just, like, literally how explicit it is. I mean, I blow a load on camera in this special.

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Yeah, I don't know.

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That could be a big piece of it, dude.

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Getting your nut snipped and then shooting one in the mean. I do think there's a piece of. That's like. I don't mean, how would they check that down on Netflix? Is they have to put on content. That's not super.

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I mean, so it is what it. Yeah. At one point, I invited the jackass director, Jeff Tremaine, to my house. I screened for him, like, an early recording of one of my shows with all the multimedia baked in. I was, you know, because I had that hump, that door was just slammed shut on me, and I thought if I went with the director of jackass, maybe that would open up the door from the director of jackass, the stunts. Jackass could never, like, and sat down with Jeff tremend and he, hey, man, congrats. You've really outdone yourself with this one. But there's none of that that can be on Netflix. Like, nothing.

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Yeah, that's probably what it is, if I'm being honest. The stand up portion is fine to be on Netflix, but I don't know if you could show some of that shit. I mean, you could talk about it, but the whole point of your show is showing, so. Hulu, what's up? What's up, dude?

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So I have it@steveo.com.

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Yeah, just go to the website.

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I have it at. It's doing. It just came out, like, a few days.

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Like, Louie. That's like, Louie put his out on his own website. Of course you're jacking off on yours consensually, and it's out right now.

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Wow. You just clicked the link. I had no idea that they have an actual time for when.

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Well, they have the sale end. Yeah, the sale ends. I mean, obviously, when this episode comes out, it'll already be just fully up there.

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But you have.

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Well, it said the sale ends in.

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43 hours, 43 days.

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Oh, 43 days?

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I think so. Yeah, I think that's right.

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Okay, well, this will be. Well, then, so go. There's still a sale on it. Go buy it right now.

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Right. I got a long way to go to make my money back on this one, dude. Just the opening sequence was 150 grand for a minute and a half of footage.

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Well, yeah, because a helicopter.

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Yeah.

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I mean, that's costly.

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Yeah. And all the vignettes, it was like making a movie. This was like making a movie.

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Do you want to tell me what the total was? You can say it.

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I don't know. I don't even know. But I'm guessing about a half a million dollars.

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It's a lot of money to make an interactive special like that and then to shoot it mean. That's nuts, dude.

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Yeah. I shot it in London, England.

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Why was that deliberate? Did you want to do it there? Were you like, I have to do it in London.

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I was born in London, England. I went to all four years of high school in London, England, and neither of those points had anything to do with taping it there. I had literally just toured the wheels off of this thing so much that you don't want to tape a special in a show that you've already or in a city that you've already done.

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Yeah, that's kind of. People have already seen it.

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Yeah. So, dude, I performed this show in 262 cities.

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Is there even 262 cities?

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I mean, what do 42 cities in Australia? Yeah, 42. Who even knew that there were 42 cities?

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Yeah, we're doing ten and I'm like, that's a lot, dude.

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I don't think that Australians are aware of there being 42 cities in Australia. I did 30 cities in Canada, which I think it might be more than any artist ever did.

[00:25:02]

Yeah, that's huge. I've done like six cities in Canada. Maybe I've only done the big ones.

[00:25:06]

Yeah, you plan your own shit.

[00:25:09]

Do you tell your team you want to go to these small little towns or do they just throw them at you and they're like, you want to go to here and here and here?

[00:25:14]

Yeah, I think I have an overly ambitious team.

[00:25:19]

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[00:28:33]

I ran this show for four years, and it never stopped improving. Like, I kept kicking out bits, replacing them with better bits, right?

[00:28:43]

Well, that's it, right?

[00:28:44]

Filming more, working on it more, working with writers, working with speaking coach. Like, all of, like, I went in.

[00:28:50]

To make speaking coach. What's this? What do you mean?

[00:28:52]

Because I sent an earlier recording to Knoxville, and Knoxville was, man, like, this is like, if you could figure out how to make your delivery feel more conversational. And I tried. I would try while I was doing it, I would record the shows, play it back, and I was just like, what's going on? Ended up working with the speaking coach, and it wasn't even about the mechanics of speaking. It was really more like therapy, like trauma therapy. Almost like the speaking coach watched a recording of the show, and this lady, she was like, yeah, in the videos, the stunt video portion, in the multimedia, very normal. So why wouldn't you just approach the stage portion? And I think that it really came down to some subconscious, self conscious insecurity of, like, I'm on stage and people don't want to accept me and stand up or some block like that.

[00:30:17]

You getting in your own way?

[00:30:18]

I think so, yeah. And working with the speaking coach, it helped immensely.

[00:30:24]

Is that your biggest anxiety, for real? Is that this whole, like. Because, look, you just talked about it with the Netflix thing.

[00:30:30]

Yeah.

[00:30:30]

And let's be real. Do you think that's something that still fucks you up and plagues you, that you get out there and you're, like, feeling like you have to prove again that you're a stand up?

[00:30:40]

I think that at this point, it's been long enough and I've really forged my own lane. What I do is genuinely authentic.

[00:30:53]

Yeah.

[00:30:55]

I'm not out there doing an impersonation of what I think a stand up comic is. I'm doing my own thing. Right. And I really think I did chisel through whatever. I think that it all freed me very much. But, yeah, I definitely still have a bit of a complex about that. There's no doubt.

[00:31:17]

You think being here doesn't help? You think being in LA doesn't help?

[00:31:21]

No, it's not that. It's not that. But definitely comics, they go to the store to work on new stuff. Sure. For the first many years, totally backwards about that. I was like, man, if I go to the comedy store, the whole room is going to be filled with industry professionals. I'm not going to go there and work on new stuff and have it be bad.

[00:31:51]

Right.

[00:31:52]

I'll work on new stuff when I'm at chuckles in Omaha. It was so important to me to try to really put my strongest foot forward in the clubs in LA. And that changed when I put this show together. I no longer even cared. It really helped now that where it's like, I filmed some over the top, unbelievably crazy thing and I'm going there to work out material about that. That kind of gave me license to feel like I belonged.

[00:32:26]

Yeah, that helped kind of wedge that gap of those nervous fucking moments. Because of how the scenes are changing and because of how you travel and tour. I'm surprised you still live here. Do you live here because you still want to be here or would you ever go anywhere else? You're kind of like, you're everywhere, dude. You don't need to be here, really.

[00:32:47]

I love Los Angeles, but I also just bought a 44 acre ranch in Tennessee.

[00:32:55]

This boy is going to Tennessee, baby. Yeah, Tennessee, dude, how far out are you? Deep in the middle of nowhere. East Tennessee or West Tennessee? We're not going to say what?

[00:33:06]

North.

[00:33:07]

Okay. Right on.

[00:33:08]

Yeah, north. Closer. Like, very close to Kentucky.

[00:33:13]

All right, dude.

[00:33:14]

Rad. We got a badass property.

[00:33:18]

What do you plan on doing with 44 acres? Man?

[00:33:21]

My girl and I have been talking about this forever because we don't want to have kids. We're crazy about animals, right? We wanted to buy a big property and open up an animal sanctuary.

[00:33:30]

Oh, dude. Yeah, the soft side of Stevo. Yes. He'll take a hit to his cock, but he respects and loves little tiny animals, all creatures of the world. He's a macho man, but he's also a sensitive, soft, sweet boy.

[00:33:43]

That's right.

[00:33:43]

What are we talking? You want to raise, like, an animal sanctuary of all kinds of animals or farm animals?

[00:33:50]

Farm animals, for the most part. And now we don't even know. We know we won't have a lot of animals, but we don't know if it's going to be a formal 501 nonprofit where the idea is to bring in tons of traffic to generate revenue to pay for the animals. Or is it build the bunkers, get the solar. We're going off grid, and we're growing our own food.

[00:34:22]

You could do a hybrid of both. You know what I mean? You could do the thing where you're living in your own little world, but also something sustainable income for it.

[00:34:32]

Yeah.

[00:34:32]

You want it to float itself, right?

[00:34:34]

Yeah. With a little Stevo museum.

[00:34:36]

Right on.

[00:34:36]

Disgrace.

[00:34:37]

Otherwise, you're going to be hemorrhaging money. If you own 44 acres of land without any income, you're going to be out like 50 grand a month. You're like, this is a little bit more pricey than I thought you could do with. What's a little person show? The guy that created a farm, Roloff Farms. Do you know what this is, dude? There's a show. Roll off. R-O-L-F-O. Roll off farms. So this dude, there was a show on tv called little People, big World. And this dude started off with a little farm. Little being the keyword there. Just do roll off farms, my dog. So look at this dude. This dude owns. Look at. Look at the sizes. This is going to be the Steve O future, except no little people, unless you have a bunch of little people that work for you. I don't know. We. Man, could, I guess, fill in some of it. But this dude owns a huge, massive acreage of farm that has, like, this. This is what I could see you having, like, pirate ships for exploration and shit. You could have animals in, like, little exhibit little towns and shit.

[00:35:34]

That would be fucking rad. That's visible for sure for me. There he is. There's the king. There's a little Roloff.

[00:35:39]

Wow. Yeah, I see it. I think it's way bigger than that.

[00:35:44]

Yeah, that's pretty fucking big, but, yeah, you're probably bigger than that. That looks huge. Now, will you have a track on and stuff? Do you have motocross and all that shit?

[00:35:56]

There is a 1 mile private trail that goes around the whole thing. That was the one thing where, when we visited it, like, recognizing that this is by far the most idiotic time in the history of the human race to buy a property.

[00:36:16]

Sure. Who cares?

[00:36:18]

You see the graphs of how inflation. We're ready for the crash. And when they took us on this little side by side, like, four wheeler, they drove us around that mile private trail. I was like, okay, dude, who cares?

[00:36:34]

We're going to die. Do it now. That's what I feel like. I talk to my business manager sometimes, and if I ever get scared about anything, and he's always like, well, you have to live now, right? He's like, are you going to live later? I was like, I think so. He's like, yeah, but you don't know. So live now. Do your best, but live it now. Because every time I get scared of that, I'm like, oh, what's going to happen? Who knows what the business. It's like, whatever, man. Live it now, because it'll be over anyway.

[00:37:00]

I love that. And that's exactly what we did. We bought it.

[00:37:04]

Live it fucking right now, dude.

[00:37:06]

We've been even so passionate about this idea that my lady and I have been just waiting to get married on the property.

[00:37:13]

Oh, that's rad.

[00:37:14]

So we're going to have a big wedding on this dope ass ranch because.

[00:37:18]

You guys already got married for the books. But not.

[00:37:21]

No, you didn't.

[00:37:22]

I thought you did it. You'd already. Oh, no.

[00:37:23]

I wear an engagement ring.

[00:37:25]

Oh, that's right. Okay. Right on.

[00:37:26]

That's right.

[00:37:26]

You told me that. That's right. So you're going to do a big, huge wedding on there. 44 acres.

[00:37:31]

I mean, something.

[00:37:33]

You're going to do something wild.

[00:37:34]

Yeah, we're going to do something cool.

[00:37:36]

Yeah, I could tell. Yeah. With you. You'll do something insane. You don't have to tell me, but, man, am I interested. What 44 acres of land costs in Tennessee? It's a lot of money. It's a lot of money. That's a lot of fucking land, dude.

[00:37:46]

Yeah. And it's got a dope ass house and stuff.

[00:37:49]

This guy, dude, this guy. I don't know. Go buy that bucket list on Steve.com. Help him get some more land, baby.

[00:37:57]

Let me tell you this, that there's, like, ten items on the bucket list, right? There's, like, ten video breaks to pay off bits. And the actual bits, they go in distinctly descending order of my fiance's approval and support. In the beginning, she's super. You saw the first one. She's, like, actively participating, totally into it. She's making it happen.

[00:38:29]

Right?

[00:38:31]

And then you saw the vasectomies. A couple of bits later, she's still front and center.

[00:38:36]

She's right.

[00:38:37]

When the kids are whacking me in the nuts, she's like, no, you hit him in the nuts.

[00:38:40]

Yeah, she did say that. She goes, go for the front. Go for the front, guys.

[00:38:42]

Yeah. And then after that, it starts getting really illegal and life threatening. We've got medical professionals stealing drugs from the hospital. Straight up. We had medical professionals stole general anesthesia drugs, and we all get together, the medical professionals in disguise. I'm on a bicycle with an iv in my vein. They're pumping general anesthesia drugs into my veins while I'm hauling ass on a bicycle. My fiance was still there for that one.

[00:39:17]

These medical professionals aren't losing their license because of this.

[00:39:21]

I'm never going to say who they were.

[00:39:23]

That's right.

[00:39:23]

Not even anybody on set got to see them. They were head to toe in disguise.

[00:39:28]

They have to be. Otherwise they'll lose their whole license.

[00:39:30]

They'll fuck for the rest of their life in jail.

[00:39:32]

How did you lose your license? I stole anesthesia for Steve O. Was it worth med school? That's crazy.

[00:39:43]

Yeah. Then when my lady's name is Lux. When Lux. Then she just stopped showing up.

[00:39:51]

She got over it.

[00:39:52]

Well, she was. You know, there are certain things in life you can never unsee. And I just can't bring myself to be there to witness one of those things.

[00:40:01]

You giving birth? Yeah. She was like, I can't see a baby come out of your dick.

[00:40:05]

It was the epidural sprint.

[00:40:09]

Oh, when you got an epidural and then started running?

[00:40:11]

Yeah. They put the four inch needle in my spinal cavity, inject the drugs to render me paralyzed. Yank out the needle, and I take off running to see how far I can go.

[00:40:20]

How far did you go?

[00:40:21]

I ran out of room. I had to turn around and come back. Bad boy. And then I fell, like, collapsed like a baby giraffe being born.

[00:40:27]

How was the epidural. Didn't it feel good? They say it's like a blow job for your back.

[00:40:31]

It was the scariest thing because I got this crazy doctor guy. He's like, hey, no one likes to hear that. I got a crazy doctor guy.

[00:40:42]

Yeah, he's fucking nuts, dude. Who knows what he'll do?

[00:40:44]

Yeah. He tells me he can paralyze me with a four inch needle in my. Like, I'm thinking, this sounds great, but.

[00:40:54]

That'S not what I think I would say. That's the fucking worst thing I've ever.

[00:40:57]

Heard in my life.

[00:40:58]

I can paralyze you with a four inch needle.

[00:41:00]

Right. So I just reached out to Dr. Drew to see what he thinks. Dr. Drew says, wow, do I hate that idea.

[00:41:08]

Yeah. Bad idea.

[00:41:09]

Like, running with epidural going on in a field and not even, like, a clean grass. Like dirt.

[00:41:19]

Yeah, just like a hard earth.

[00:41:21]

Yeah, hard earth dirt. And what Drew said, he says, I wish I could talk you out of this, but I know I never will. But just please hear me when I say, watch out. If you find yourself becoming paralyzed above the waist, the idea is it paralyzes you from the waist down, right? He's like, but if you start being paralyzed, sometimes it'll back up. He says, and then systems are going to shut down. It gets your heart right. Then you're going to stop breathing. They're going to need to intubate you to have a machine breathe for you. And if you're in a field doing this on dirt, you could really die.

[00:42:04]

Yeah, dude.

[00:42:06]

And I thought about it and did it anyway. Yeah. So what was so scary is, as soon as I collapse onto the ground, almost immediately, I cannot feel anything. Like, up to my chin, I could not even feel any indication that I was able to breathe at all. And I'm like, I'm having trouble breathing. And I'm just thinking, this is it. Like, here I go. Here I am on the dirt. The doctor is actually dressed up like a clown. And then, like, you know, and. And the guys have to do their job, which is to figure out how paralyzed I really am.

[00:42:49]

Holy.

[00:42:49]

So they're doing all this unbelievably dark crap to me while I'm on the ground, saying I'm having trouble breathing and I'm fighting to try to get enough air to say I'm having trouble breathing.

[00:43:02]

What do they have to do?

[00:43:04]

I mean, they're zapping me with electrocuting defibrillators or whatever.

[00:43:10]

Yeah.

[00:43:10]

No, they're hitting me with stung guns. Yeah, they're lighting me up with paintballs, setting my feet on fire. Smart man.

[00:43:18]

Dude, that's the way to do it.

[00:43:20]

Yeah. It was epic. It was the most epic thing ever. It was the scariest thing ever. But once I got to the other side of it, I started sobbing. Just absolutely sobbing. And the weird doctor guy is know, no emotion, but now he's just confused. Why is Steve O sitting here crying through my tears? I go, the bar for my stunts is so high. We just raised it. I was just like, tears of joy because we just raised the bar. The impossible.

[00:43:56]

We did the impossible.

[00:43:58]

Yeah.

[00:44:00]

You died and came back. It was a rebirth for you.

[00:44:04]

Yeah. Jackass. You can't break the law. You just can't. And here I'm breaking the law. Medical professionals risking everything they worked for and their freedom.

[00:44:17]

Don't you feel like you've beat the life casino? You have to stop gambling at some point. Dude, you beat the casino, nobody beats the house. You beat the house a thousand times.

[00:44:24]

Yeah, man. It seems evident that the universe has a plan for me.

[00:44:29]

Yeah. You know what it is, though? You're going to die some, like, really boring. You're going to choke on, like, a chicken nugget out of all the fucked up shit you've done. You know what I mean? Like, you'll die so monotonous and boring because you've lived such an extreme life. It's kind of like that Alex Honnold guy. The free solo guy.

[00:44:43]

Yeah, right.

[00:44:44]

That guy will die from know. He'll slip and fall and break a hip.

[00:44:48]

You know what I mean?

[00:44:49]

Something crazy will happen. That's like what? You didn't die falling off a rock. That's what's insane to me about you, that you've touched it so many times. It's almost like the thing can't get you something wants you around.

[00:45:00]

In here, we pour, whisk, whisk.

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[00:46:15]

Turmeric. Big fan. They got that lion's main in there. Got to have that lion's main. And it is very good. It's a great way to start your day. I think they're delicious. Everybody's looking for, like, a little shot on the go instead of taking just a regular old ginger shot that you get from Trader Joe's. I do think these things help you with a boost and to get some focus. They got nootropics, matcha adaptogens and vitamins already put in here and it's pretty good. If you want to give this stuff a try, you very much should. To start your day this January, magic mind helps you get ready to achieve your 2024 New Year's goals with full focus. Focus, baby. If you sign up for three months, you get an extra month for free@magicmind.com. Whiskey. Magicmind.com whiskey. That code, of course, is whiskey. It's an extra 20% off, which gets you a 75% off. That gets you 75% off. This only lasts until the end of January, so hurry up before it goes away. Magicmind.com whiskey that code is whiskey.

[00:47:22]

Yeah.

[00:47:22]

Well, we like you around.

[00:47:23]

Well, thanks, ant.

[00:47:24]

I like you around.

[00:47:25]

I appreciate you so much, dude.

[00:47:27]

Yeah, I love you, dude. By the way, what is. Oh, you bring some sauce for me?

[00:47:31]

This is Steve O's hot sauce for your butthole.

[00:47:33]

Oh, so I can only put it in my, it's for, can I put it in my mouth?

[00:47:38]

It's for coming out of your butthole.

[00:47:40]

Oh, right on, dude. You source hot sauce for your butthole? This is you. This is Steve O'Zone. And you found a company to make your own hot sauce. Or is there? Who are you?

[00:47:53]

Sometimes my own recipe dog.

[00:47:55]

This is your custom. Did you make this for years at your house? And then you were like, I did.

[00:48:03]

Testing at my house. Yeah.

[00:48:04]

How hot is this?

[00:48:05]

Is this not hot? If you want, like unbelievably hot. Then you got to go with Steve O's butthole destroyer.

[00:48:12]

Hot butthole destroyer. Yeah, I'll just put it in my mouth. Steve O's butthole destroyer is your top tier stuff.

[00:48:21]

The top three ingredients on the destroyer are the three hottest peppers on earth.

[00:48:25]

What is it? The ghost.

[00:48:26]

Ghost. Scorpion and Carolina? Reaper.

[00:48:30]

The reaper, that's right.

[00:48:31]

Yeah.

[00:48:31]

The reaper is the one that you see those videos of that. People talk a big game and they think they're hot shit, and then they take it and they're like, yeah, I'll never forget, dude, what was. I was in 23 or 24. I first moved here, and I was working in a physical therapy office, and one of the people that was coming in to get physical therapy, this sweet woman, she grew peppers in her yard, and she was like, I'll bring you guys some fucking really heavy shit. And I'm thinking, all right, dude, whatever. This is some little sweet lady's yard. And she was like, also, all these physical therapists were like, we'll all do it together. No milk. You know what I mean? No milk, no cheating. None of that shit. Just let it sit. And I'm not kidding, dude. I don't know which one it was, but I got in maybe two minutes. I'm being generous. And I couldn't fucking breathe, dude. My whole throat was clogged up.

[00:49:24]

You feel like your throat's closing?

[00:49:26]

Closing? I was awful, dude. Yeah, this is just regular. This is your regular sauce?

[00:49:30]

Yeah.

[00:49:31]

This is, like, good on eggs and stuff.

[00:49:33]

Yeah, it's the OG.

[00:49:34]

Oh, this is really good. I love hot sauce, dude.

[00:49:37]

And it's so much fun for, like, very good, dude, thank you. So much fun for the stocking stuff because it fits in the stocking. It's, like, not an expensive purchase. Christmas morning, you pull it out of the stock. You got something. You got a little something for my butthole?

[00:49:55]

Just a little something for your tush, baby.

[00:49:57]

Yeah. Steve O's hot sauce for your butthole. You can buy it on Amazon. It'll be there on prime, like, immediately. The next day you're delivered.

[00:50:04]

And they make it here in LA? In California?

[00:50:07]

No, I think they make it in Costa Rica. Yeah, I like that, dude.

[00:50:14]

There it is, baby.

[00:50:15]

Yeah, right there in stock on prime. Boom. Delivered today.

[00:50:20]

Delivered today, dude. Get it? Same day, the habanero. Garlic habanero. Hot sauce for your butthole, baby.

[00:50:25]

Yeah, butthole destroyer.

[00:50:28]

That's top tier shit.

[00:50:29]

Yeah. The butthole destroyer is really, really.

[00:50:32]

Of all the bases that you keep touching, dude, over the years that I've known you, what's the end game? What's the one that you're like? That's the one big hurdle I want to jump over. Not stunt wise. I mean, just like, what's the one thing that you feel like is your apex of? Like, once I do that, I'll feel like I'm solid.

[00:50:50]

I want to have a show in an arena one day.

[00:50:53]

You want an arena?

[00:50:54]

I mean, technically I did, but it was, like, in this little tiny town in Canada, and it was hockey arena, but that counts. And there's, like, I forget how they had, like, a little section cordoned off.

[00:51:10]

Yeah.

[00:51:10]

I want to properly do it.

[00:51:12]

You want an arena? Arena. You want, like, the real deal?

[00:51:14]

Yeah.

[00:51:15]

The way you said that when you smiled. You mean it? That's so funny that you mean it.

[00:51:18]

Oh, big time. Yeah.

[00:51:19]

I don't fucking. I've done arenas. I don't know, man. There's something about them that's like, they're amazing. Not my show. I've done other people's arena shows, obviously, but. I don't know. But I like that you have that because some people have said, when I was a kid, I always wanted to play the garden. Right. You hear that a lot. Like, when I was a kid, like Andrew Schultz, like, our boy Schultz sold out two fucking gardens within, I don't even know, probably 20 minutes. Insane.

[00:51:47]

Yeah.

[00:51:48]

But for me, people have always been like, oh, for Chicago, when I played the United center with Rogan, was that a. Not really. For me, it was. Honestly, in my mind, I thought, if I can make people laugh till I'm dead or till they make me. Till it's over, I'm good. I never had the whole big room, big vibe. I was like, if I can just fucking get people to really want to come along with the ride, because I know the ride is going to be fucking all over the place, man. You're going to have.

[00:52:23]

It's like this. It's like this. If you look at music, there's like this catch 22, or maybe not as much anymore, but it's like the dynamic was that if you want to really blow up big, you have to have a major record label, right? But if you want to make any money, you have to own your own music.

[00:52:49]

Sure.

[00:52:49]

So for people to really get big, it's like, for me, it's a different dynamic. But I've been quietly kind of under the radar, performing stand up comedy for more than 13 years now, and nobody knows in the general consciousness of the world, nobody really knows that Steve O does stand up.

[00:53:19]

I mean, millions of people know. Well, but not on a global scale.

[00:53:23]

Yeah, right.

[00:53:23]

Billions of people don't.

[00:53:25]

But, like, I just think that I've finally gotten to a point where I just feel like what I made with this last special is really good. It's, like, unbelievably good. And my fear is that it's just not going to get the audience. If this new special, Steve O's bucky list, could get the audience that I believe it deserves, then I think it just blows up. And then who knows for my next tour how big it gets. And if that were to happen, the proof of that being the case would be that I was legitimately performing in an arena.

[00:54:10]

Oh, I hope you get it, dude, because you're so passionate about it. Because it makes me smile, that you're like, you really mean it, dude. Those kind of things are. They're up to you more than anything. Anyway, you're already there. It's almost like you're already doing it. All you have to do is keep expanding this balloon until it gets so fucking big that I just got to.

[00:54:31]

Get eyes on this special people. Believe me. Believe me that Steve O's bucket list is the most utterly, shockingly entertaining thing that I've ever made. I swear. It is a beautiful, touching love story. It's stunts that would never be allowed to happen on jackass, and it's the most wildly elaborate production that I've ever put together.

[00:55:01]

A touching love story, nonetheless.

[00:55:02]

Yeah, absolutely.

[00:55:03]

Part of all of it, right? Yeah.

[00:55:04]

I mean, by the end of it, Lux isn't just not showing up. By the end of it, we're having a problem.

[00:55:12]

She wants to leave you because of it.

[00:55:14]

By the end of it, we're having a problem. And I'm rolling the dice with our relationship. And the fact is that when heads are budding and my attention whoring thing is one of the heads is a problem.

[00:55:35]

That tends to be the issue with chicks, dude, when it's, like, all about me. Me. Did she come with you on the road to all your shows?

[00:55:41]

Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. And she was great about it. The biggest problem that she had was that was me actually ejaculating on camera.

[00:55:51]

Yeah, I could see that being like, that's her territory a little bit, right? Yeah. She wants that just for her.

[00:55:55]

A lot of problems with that. Because I wasn't just ejaculating. I was ejaculating with another man strapped to my back in an airplane filled with dudes.

[00:56:05]

Pretty typical.

[00:56:06]

And in order to get that done, I had to bring a dvd player. So now I'm pleasuring myself to the image of another woman with men, with.

[00:56:17]

Men in the room, with a bunch.

[00:56:18]

Of men in the sit well with my lady.

[00:56:20]

She doesn't like stuff like that. Yeah. Couldn't she have gotten up in that plane with you and just had some fun and gotten to the spot? You really want to commit, babe? Get up in the plane. Yeah, fluff me out and then let's go.

[00:56:29]

That wouldn't have worked either.

[00:56:30]

The rad thing. The next level will be you guys hooking up, skydiving together. That would be fucking dope. Would she be down doggy style in air? Would be so wild to see that floating down to the earth.

[00:56:43]

It's not a bad idea.

[00:56:45]

You get trained enough, right? You have to go tandem. You could be her instructor on her back, and then you're good to go. And then get one of those harnesses. Call me if you want me to produce the bit.

[00:56:53]

Dude, if I get the tandem license.

[00:56:55]

Yeah.

[00:56:55]

You're ready on her back.

[00:56:57]

Yeah, you're right there. What else, man? You're right there. Yeah. You could just train enough, jump enough. Have you jumped a lot or.

[00:57:04]

No, no, that was my first time. What?

[00:57:06]

That was the first time you went out?

[00:57:07]

First time, dude. And here's the thing, dude, that was an idea that I'd had for 20 years. And the reason why you won't even believe me when I say this, you won't believe it, but I'm terrified of bungee jumping, roller coasters, and I never wanted to go skydiving.

[00:57:26]

Why? What? You. All the bullshit that you do and a bungee jump scares you.

[00:57:31]

Yeah.

[00:57:32]

Do you think that that's the time it's going to break? You're like, this is the time.

[00:57:35]

It's not even that. I think that I grew up jumping off stuff.

[00:57:40]

Yeah.

[00:57:40]

So I don't care what you tie to me. I can't look off a 200 foot bridge and see anything doable about that. I just have a block.

[00:57:48]

Whoa.

[00:57:49]

And, like, sustained periods of falling. I don't like it. I just don't like the way it feels. I don't want it. I hate it. So for 20 years, whenever skydiving came up as a mechanism for avoiding going skydiving, I always said, man, dude, come on, dude, that's not for me. I was like, everybody goes skydiving. It's not a stunt, like, for me to go skydiving.

[00:58:10]

Elementary school teachers go skydiving, dog.

[00:58:12]

Yeah. Grandmas go skydiving. You got to understand that for me to go skydiving, I would have to be butt ass naked and furiously jacking off with another man strapped to my back. Plus simultaneously blow a load as I.

[00:58:27]

Fell out of the plane and someone was like, we can do that for you, dude.

[00:58:30]

That's called skyjacking.

[00:58:31]

Skyjacking.

[00:58:33]

Skyjacking. And then Guinness records.

[00:58:35]

Ever recognize?

[00:58:36]

They snubbed me year after year. Yeah. Netflix and Guinness.

[00:58:44]

Netflix and Guinness stubbing you year after year. Guinness doesn't recognize.

[00:58:47]

I'm huge fans of both, by the way. Yeah, for sure they don't recognize on Instagram. Love them.

[00:58:53]

Follow them on Instagram.

[00:58:54]

Yeah.

[00:58:55]

Have you ever reached out to Guinness?

[00:58:56]

Every time they pop up my feet, it hurts. I made a video for my YouTube channel of ten undeniable world records, which Guinness gives me no credit for.

[00:59:09]

Will they just not respond? Are they like, no, we don't recognize this shit?

[00:59:13]

I had a little bit of fun. I got a little bit ridiculous with it.

[00:59:20]

That's a huge bummer that they won't give you credit for, like, the highest porta potty.

[00:59:25]

Yeah. The one that I think is really worth giving it to me for is vomiting on television and in film, because we've all seen it. Every time somebody barfs in any tv show or movie, it's plainly evident that they just have something.

[00:59:50]

Correct. Yeah.

[00:59:51]

You can tell the difference between a real barf and a fake barf. And nobody has real barfed on tv or in film anywhere near as many times as I have.

[01:00:00]

And no one's going to question, look at this. Well, can we count it? I mean, how many times have you.

[01:00:05]

Demonstrably.

[01:00:07]

That's why you sound like that now. Yacked. Perhaps it's you and RFK. RFK. He might have more barfs than you on camera. Unbelievable, dude. You know what's so funny? In the course of my lifetime, I genuinely can count. I think on one hand, I've only thrown up, I think, maybe five or six times. And I mean, that sounds crazy, but when I get sick, I don't throw up. The only times I ever thrown up was, like, partying, drink partying. When I was at college was the last time I remember from puking. But outside of that, whenever I got ill, I never threw up. I never was a guy who would get, like, the stomach flu, where it went out that way. So genuinely, when I see that, it scares the shit out of me because the pain from throwing up is like, in college one time, I was really sick I was this thing, and I would have, like, the dry heaving, which hurts. You wish there was something in there, right? The dry heaving is the worst.

[01:01:04]

And the yellow.

[01:01:05]

Ah, yeah, dude, that hurts. It's so painful because stuff in there, you're like, yeah, it almost feels like you're just emptying a bag. You're like, okay. Like, it all gets out of you. Well, Guinness. If anybody from Guinness is listening, or should I say if anybody from Guinness is listening. Any of my family out there, it's so funny. It's the same company that does that. That Guinness, the beer maker, is so weird. You guys make beer, but you won't recognize our boy dude.

[01:01:30]

Yeah, I went for our boy dog. I set an undeniable world record in my bucket list.

[01:01:37]

I mean, that's so crazy that you definitely have the most pukes on camera. You probably have the most kicks to the genitals on camera.

[01:01:45]

That. I'm not claiming that I'm not claiming.

[01:01:49]

You don't think you've been kicked more on camera than anybody else? Not in real life.

[01:01:54]

There are a lot of people that.

[01:01:55]

Take nutshots in your crew.

[01:01:56]

Yeah, but for the bucket list, I set a free diving world record. The longest anybody has ever been completely submerged, holding their breath in pure rotten urine.

[01:02:13]

Guinness. Call up, dude. What are you waiting for? Yeah. Why can't Guinness make a dirty Guinness record book?

[01:02:20]

And how about this? How about this? If nothing, that I've done good work with me. Come on, guys.

[01:02:26]

Call me and tell me what you want me to do.

[01:02:28]

Yeah, let's collaborate.

[01:02:30]

I guarantee you there's got to be shit in that book that's on the questionable side. They have millions of records that are in there. We should have a campaign online, people that are listening to the show. Do me a favor. Write Guinness World Records. Tell them that they need to put Steve O in there in some way, shape, or form or fashion. I think that would be the only way to get this done is if the fans reach out, because honestly. Right. The records. Here's the records that are no longer accepted. I have seen this before that they say there's, like, they've stopped taking certain ones because they don't want to influence people to try them again.

[01:03:04]

Right.

[01:03:05]

Going without sleep is detrimental. Gluttony. They don't want someone who can eat the most. Binge drinking, obviously, hunger strikes or fasting, heaviest pets.

[01:03:14]

I think that they've even called it on tatoos.

[01:03:16]

Really? Cruelty animals. That was a record for a while. How many dogs can you beat? Child endangering records.

[01:03:24]

Yeah, China said all those. There's nothing mean spirited or.

[01:03:30]

No, none of your stuff. So here's the deal with you. The thing I always like to say is, and this goes in comedy in general or performance, if the pie is on your face, it's on you, dude. It's not like you didn't do this to somebody else 100%. If the pie is on your face, I don't understand why that's not clear for you to just get the record. Well, Guinness. Listen up, dude. We're sick of this. We really need this to happen right now. So please, ladies and gentlemen, at home, right in. More importantly, I want people to really enjoy the special. I've known you for a while. I've seen what you've created, and you should be very proud because it's wild as fucking unique and original. Our budy bill Burrs gives you the tip of the hat to open this thing, which is insane. So go to Steve.com and go buy the bucket list. Buy it for yourself. Buy some fucking hot sauce for your tush, for your butthole. For a Christmas gift, dude. And I appreciate you, brother. We end the episode the same way. Look in that camera right there.

[01:04:30]

Okay?

[01:04:31]

And you say one word or one phrase to end the episode right into that camera. Whenever you're ready. One word or a phrase.

[01:04:40]

Yeah, dude, in here, we pour. Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy ginger like that. The ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Gingers. Oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like ginger.