What up, Whiskey, Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Like my man, Steve Harvey, Dunsay. It's Trevor Wallace.

Trevor.

Wallace is on the podcast. He's got a special hour right now. Go check it out. It's Pterodactyl. If you know how to spell it, you get extra points.

Very, very.

Funny dude. Go watch Trevor Wallace's brand new special out and available right now on MSN. Also, I'm on the road, baby. Me and Bobby Lee are finishing up the Bad Friends tour. This weekend, we're in Minneapolis.

Minnesota.

And in Madison, Wisconsin. Those last two dates of this year, then we're done until the end of January 2024. We go down to Atlantic City, New Jersey. Then we do Tameculah, and Renow, and Tucson, Sacramento. We're all over the place. Long Beach, come see.

About me.

And Bobby Lee. Go to badfriendspod. Com. Badfriendspod. Com for those tickets and a rambling from me. Let's go to the episode.

In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. You are that.

Creature in the Ginger Field. Sturdy and ginger.

Like them, the Ginger Gene is a curse. Ginges are beautiful. You owe me five dollars.

For the whiskey and 75 dollars for the horse. Ginger. Oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like ginges. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whisky, Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on The Nuthaid, and they're from, I guess I want to meet you once again, today it's Trevor Wallace.

Hey, that's me. Thanks for.

Having me, dude. Welcome back to NPR with Trevor Wallace. One of the best looking, funniest dudes I know. I gave you a little bit of beef when we first met because I was like, Who's this fucking good looking fucking cool kid?

Fuck this guy. You still intimidate me, which is so cool.

I want that dude. How old are you now? 30.

God, dude. You could kick me in the rib and I might lose that rib forever.

You're.

30? 30, yeah.

You look fucking good for 30. I'm jealous, too.

But you just showed me your body. You look great for, can I say it out loud?

Yeah, no, I'm- You can bleep it. -people know. 40. I'm 40. Please, half of the fans at home that watch the show are like, That guy's only 40. He looks 50 years old. I hate when people online say about me and Bobby, they go same age, right? I'm like, Dude, that guy's 52. People are like, You look that old. -oh, no. It just hurts because he dresses like a child, so no one will know the difference. I mean, I like to dress younger than my age for sure. This is immature. For a 40-year-old man back home in Chicago.

We look like we should flip outfits. 100 %. I have that T-shirt in green. Do you?

Yeah. It's really great stuff.

Bobby always looks like he has a tech deck on him. His outfits. He just looks like he would have a fidget toy in his pants.

But I love him. Well, we bought him fidget spinners, right? Yeah, we bought him a bunch to get through some of the episodes because he'd want to have more dip. And then he was trying to control vaping. We're trying to occupy him with stuff that would get him away from distracting himself. We distracted him so he wouldn't distract himself.

That's crazy. From nicotine to just a fidget spinner.

Well, dude, we got him off cigarettes, which was huge. Oh, that is big. That was big. But now he's dipping. I like to pop a couple of, you like a couple of Zinny-Zinnys. Zin it up. See, he won't do that. He likes real horse. He likes.

Real-his brother does that. I thought his brother was throwing in long cut. I was like.

Who hurt you? Yeah, they're both into the OG ruin your gums. Now, this being said, Zinny's are-.

Zinny's aren't.

Great either. They're probably.

Hurting us. But it's clean. It's a quick one-two. What's the- We say that. The long cut, it's just more like clean cleanup, I think.

Spit it out. It's gone. Yeah, it's gone. But I don't know if it's giving us- Oh, yeah. Is it giving us a jaw?

Yeah, it is. Sometimes spots in my tongue feel real tender.

Oh, no.

And I don't do it a lot, but sometimes you're just like, it's just a nice. It's like my nightcap. That's my Merlot.

Is a little Zin? Yeah. Little Zinskys, dude. Little late night Zinners. There's kids on the Internet now. I don't know if you've seen this, but there's guys because there's three and six milligrams for Zin. There's other companies that have way more.

This one's like 20 milligrams.

Dude, there's guys on the internet. There's young kids that are doing as many MGs as they can put in their mouth. This one dude, this young college kid, he's putting hundreds in his mouth. Really? Yeah, it's absurd. I don't know what the.

Fascination is. I used to, my neighbor growing up, played on the baseball team, and he got me into dipping in high school because he was the cool guy. So he did it. I wanted to do it. I put it like, He's like, You got to do a double decker or upper decker.

Upper.

Decker. Yeah. Were you top of your lip? I did both. I throw up immediately.

Yeah, I know in college I actually started dipping. That's where I started all that stuff because I used to smoke. And then I was a valet and you couldn't smoke the valet stand. They were pretty adamant about it.

I think the biggest life hack.

And they were like, You can't do that. And there were no smoke breaks because I ran my little station. I was just the only guy at Bucca di Beppo. Shout out.

Bucca, dude, that was a place.

For our homecoming.

Great spot, dude. Oh, my God. The Chicken Alfredo, you'd share it? The bill was like, $32. You're like, I got this, honey.

Let me take care of this.

Yeah, this is my dad's credit.

Card, literally. He is rich. He is rich.

But that was fine.

Dining in high school. It was. It was very high end. When I valet there, I couldn't break because I was only a cat. Yeah, valet there? Yeah. I used to put in a little a couple of sneakers, but that was back before... I mean, I think they had pouches, but they weren't nicotine pouches. They were tobacco pouches. Yes. They were pouches. They were just dip but pouch for him. But I would do those because I didn't want raw dip getting in.

My teeth. Yeah, it's grimy.

I just didn't want it for the customers. I didn't care personally, but I didn't want someone to be like, I think I.

Saw him. A customer at Book and Babble might have all their teeth.

Now that you say that, it was a lot of Buicks. Really? A lot of Buicks. Yeah, that class where we're skating through, Do I have money or am I really struggling?

Yeah, like the Christ of 300 type level.

That's my favorite. Am I picking up my stepkids? That's what it is. That's a great car. That's Bucca di Beppo is a broken family restaurant. I thought.

Of when did Nissan Ultima become like, Oh, you might get shot car.

Yeah, that is...

When did they make that chance? Nissan are so... Every other Nissan is just such a great family car. And then you see Nissan Ultima late night and you're like, We should.

Probably not be on the street. We should get out of here, dude. What else is a shady car at night that makes you feel uncomfortable? I tell you, you see a Volkswagen Jetta coming, you got to get... That is a 23-year-old blonde college girl who's lost. Don't help her.

Don't help her, dude. She's lost a lot of Zoloft, and she's going through something. And she's speeding. She don't see those speed bumps. No. She got.

Mental speed bumps. Yeah, you know how people when you hear a car come out of a ramp too fast and you're... Yes. I don't think there's one that's rolling on the road right now that doesn't have a torn up undercarriage from young girls on.

Those things. You ever see those videos online? Somebody will post up in one of those infamous driveways, and they just watch every person hit their bumper. God, that's like my level of like, that's like the DVD sign bouncing off the screen for me. I could watch that.

All day. All day, dude. God, I've done that. I've done that DVD sign before, too. I've done that.

Yeah, the jet. I think the jetta comes with Ugs. Every time you see that door open, just a giant Ug slams out. Yeah, the jettas would.

Scare me at night. Jetas are tough. I don't like jetas. I never liked jettas. The cars that bother me the most are I loathe mini-Coopers. I think it's the dumbest vehicle ever made.

Do you know what? My neighbor has a mini Cooper and it has the loudest engine ever. Oh, yeah. It's like the.

Sportman or something. Yeah, they tune them.

They like-But I'm like, Why is a mini Cooper loud? It's loud and open my window and.

See that. Yeah, little tiny car.

It's like a 5.3 guy grunting at the gym. Get it together. I just feel like I looked out the window and saw that. I was like, Dude, not even a.

Muscle car. Yeah, Mini Cooper is not for me. They bothered me so much. And my wife wanted to get, or did get one for a short period of time, and she was like, What do you not like about it? I was like, If you get hit, you will die.

That's what I feel.

About smart cars.

There's nothing to that. Why even put an airbag in a smart car?

Just die. It's going.

To be like the packing bags they get from Amazon.

Yeah, the ones that you touch and they fold and they pop. Exactly. Yes, smart cars appeal that way. Yeah. There are certain cars on the road that give me the, what did the kids say? They give me the.

Ponyak Aztec. You ever seen one of those bad boys?

No, let me see what that... Oh, is that the thing he drove in Breaking Bad?

I don't know. This car has always pissed me off. It looked like the shoe that Kobe.

Came out from that. By the way, this is the car from Breaking Bad. But Pontiac made the same car as the... This is what? What was the car in Breaking Bad? This wasn't Pontiac. It's the exact same. You know how multiple car companies own the rights to the same framework or they're part of the same production company? That makes sense. What is it? What's the one in Breaking Bad? Just do Breaking Bad car because now I can't get it out of my head. It was a... It wasn't a Aztec. It was the Aztec.

Who would have thought? Method and Pontiac.

It's.

A hand in hand, baby.

By the way, when they did that, they were like, This is the lower middle working class teacher's car who's going to sell meth. Then they wrote that into that show. Now, everyone who has one of those feels atrocious. Yeah, that was it.

Yeah, it's like a van-sedan type of the Zidan.

It's a bummer when they put something in a movie or television show that you own. That most definitely would hurt my feelings. I've never had that happen. Well, I mean, it's like, I see it and I go, Well, someone owns that. You know what I mean? Do you remember the Will Ferrell sketch? And he goes, I drive a Dodge Stratus. Remember that? Everybody. Then I felt like, Dude, every regular dude with the Dodge Stratus was so embarrassed about it.

It probably feels like when your name is Aaron and then Kean Peale came out, everyone was like, Aaron. Exactly. I didn't ask for this.

No, I know.

It's so mean. I think my mom was born as like, Yo, Kean Peale. Have you seen the girl that lives in the house in Breaking Bad where they throw the pizzas on the house? She gates it off. If you take a photo from her house.

She yells at you. I feel bad for that. Yeah, the old Breaking Bad house. I don't feel bad for her.

I'm like, What do you fucking expect?

Well, dude, she doesn't need to be bothered every day her fucking life. Make money.

Off of it. Put a QR code out front. Sell. Dude, if she sold pizza out front of her house, she would make millions.

Of dollars. But people throw pizza on a roof all the time, right? That's hilarious. That is very funny.

We used to teebie houses growing up, but a pizza, I mean, that's a hilarious thing.

Where did you grow up again?

Ventura County, like an hour from here. Oh, yeah, that's right. You guys teebie houses and shit.

Yeah. You know what's so funny is we didn't do it often. We stole shit more.

Really? We would steal hubcaps, the Chromey.

Ghese. Yeah, and we'd put them on our bike.

I liked that. We did that.

It was the.

Coolest feeling. You catch yourself a BMW, Chromey man. You're the coolest cat in town. We had.

Bullet ones, and you're like, Dude, this on my Schwinn? So hot. Holy fuck. I might put a baseball car in there. That was really the... That was the biggest thing.

That was the pissed. You teebed a lot?

I don't know why. Do we teebed this kid's house? I feel bad about this now. A lot of this is post-child regret. We're like, Why did I do this? But we teebed this kid's house so much they cut the tree down. And then he posted on Facebook like, Dude, anybody who tip in our tree, we cut it down. That was the last thing our grandpa left us. I was like, Oh, fuck.

A tree? Fuck that grandpa, dude. That's a dickhead move. Dude, be a real grandpa. Leave me a trust. Leave me some chatter, not a tree.

Yeah, wrong type of.

Paper, grandpa. Come on, dude. Broke-ass grandpa.

Yeah, but we.

Didn't do that. We didn't do that.

We were doing.

Dough apply. Yeah, we didn't really do it. I think we did it for like, Homecoming or something like that. That would happen. Egging was a thing in high school for me. We never did egging. Loved talking to good egg at home. It's hilarious. Nothing like it. And then forking someone's yard.

Forking. I tried to explain it to someone else. They didn't get it. But we put it in and you snap it.

Well, yeah, but it's also because in the Midwest you do it when it's cold. So when the grass gets really hard and freezes over, it's fucking awful. It's like the meanest thing you can do, man. You fork and break. You did that in Minnesota, didn't you? Yeah, that's a dickhead move out here. It really wouldn't work as well because the ground doesn't freeze.

Everybody has Assaterf. They don't cut their own lawn. They don't know what the fuck is going on.

It's fake grass. Yeah, exactly. You know what's so funny? I never had a neighbor in the Midwest that had fake grass that didn't exist. And then I moved out here and it slowly but surely hit me that almost everyone that lives around me has fake grass.

Yeah, they say it because they can serve water. You're just lazy.

No, dude, I like grass, my guy. Give me grass. Nice. Yeah, fuck the...

What do you think a dog feels like when he's got a shit on plastic?

No, dude, give him grass. Yeah, my dog wants to roll around and put her face in the grass. You cut your own lawn? I do. You do? I do. Yeah, I do. Really? I trim it. I cut it. I leaf.

Blow the leaves out. If you have to like one or two specials, you'd be like, We're.

Done here. No, fuck that, too. I do all that stuff. I wash my car. I wash my own car.

The washing the car, I could get behind. That's like a man thing. I enjoy it. I want to get in the.

Fucking school. Because it feels like I'm, I don't know, it's like a little bit of pride in it.

You have a great car.

Yeah. Nice, Nissan Ultima. But I do like to wash it, right? I don't know what it is. I just enjoy.

Actually, I do know. When people drive by you, wave at them when you're.

Washing it. You know, my neighbor, dude, every single time. I'm the only guy that washes. No, one of my neighbors washes his car, too, but all the other neighbors, when they see me washing my car, same fucking joke. When you're done, whatever you want to fucking do. Me next. I said that my one neighbor was really funny. He says, She was washing their car, his wife. Good. I said, I saw her out earlier today. I see who wears the pants in the house. He was like, What's... He was like, I know I'd be stunned, mad about it. I was like, I'm just playing, man. He was like, Fuck. He just drove away. I was like, Oh, no, dude.

He just drove into a baranca. He was like.

I shouldn't have watched it. I created a fight with this guy and his wife for no reason. I just like it because it's put in a headphones. I think it calms me down. It's therapeutic. It's quiet and slow. There's no rush. I'm never doing it when I don't have a ton of time. I only do it when I'm like, Oh, I can kill the afternoon doing this, listening to a new album or something and then just disappear.

Yeah, it's rad. I'm going to do dishes. I let them load up all week, maybe two weeks. Then I put on a podcast with you, Ginger, of course. Of course. My first episode, hey, part one, part two. Or stiff socks. Stiff socks.

Good pod, Steve Sox.

Thank you so much, dude. Then I just crank it out at once. But it feels like therapeutic. Every single time you want to get in there, wash it, load it.

You don't do dishwasher?

You hand wash? I do, but I rinse it off and then get the oatmeal off the bowl and a little bit.

Of catch. You let it pile up in the sink, though? Yeah. You don't just risk and right in the dishwasher. You're one of these people that's so fascinating to me. Put it right in the dishwasher. It's right there. You would think. I sound like you're my wife right now. She'll open a box from Amazon and then just leave it. I'm like, Empty it out. She looks what it is and then puts it in the laundry room, and I'm like, Get.

The stuff out. Yeah, that's me to a T. You do that, huh? I just leave it somewhere, and then I do a big cleanup on the Sunday.

Yeah, see, I don't like it. The anxiety of it building up creeps me out. I want it all. Just take care of it when.

You're doing it. For some reason, I think the more messy, the more creative. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I got to get back to TikTok edit, and then I just leave a box or.

Leave a Play-Doh. I guess that might be true. Dave Chlebell lives in a house of filth. Have you seen it? No, I'm kidding. No, dude, no. I don't think the mess is the more creative. There's no chance. I think that people assume that you're more of a creative person if you're unhinged and weird. But at some point you want to feel...

You can really go one of both ways because you ever seen the show about Hoarders? Those motherfuckers aren't creative. The ways they're creative is how they put shit in their house.

He's trying to find out if Chappell has.

A dirty house. Dave Chappell's house. Did you have video on it?

No. What is their Q and A? What is this? That's crazy. It's creepy. Mccon, stop looking up. Let's cut it out, will you? This guy. What a lunatic.

Oh, his house?

Yeah, I'm sure that's one of his homes. Yeah, Jesus Christ. You know what I mean? Yeah. Before we get too far, ladies and gentlemen that are out there in the world of podcasting and stand-up comedy, if you're a fan, you need to go watch this gentleman's new special that's out and available right now. How now? It's on Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. I saw on Amazon Prime, I saw a billboard for it across from the improv last night. I went to the party, and I was like, Oh, that's fucking rad. But that was what? Not them. That was Amazon doing that?

That was putting it up. That's very nice. Yeah, that was great. They were like, You have a billboard. And then they just tagged this construction site, but it's five different of my faces. It's right on Melrose. That's cool. Oh, it's the best. I think it's honestly better than just one high up billboard. It feels right. It's street level. There's five of it. It feels more like modern day version.

What's the special called again? Terradactyl. Terradactyl. What a word. I think it just sticks. Well, I know it. I know it now.

Because I feel like it's like I want a special that's just like, you either know the name or of the comic or they're either typing to the trouble wall special or something like that. Some dinosaur, some shit. I like that.

Do you have a big wrap around joke about terradactyl?

I do. And then I tagged it a few times just as a callback in there. I just thought it was like that. I love how Thomas & Girls were just Sledgehammer. It's just like, boom. It's just one word.

Powerful words. Well, that's because he's a big Phil Collins fan. That's why. Yeah, that's why he named it that. I know people think it's something else. It's not. He just really loved the song Sledgehammer. Do you know that song?

I know it's a reference from right.

Over your head.

Have you ever seen the live one in the air tonight. Come on, dude. Holy fuck.

Yeah, I've jerked off.

You ever watched that at 4:00 AM? Dude, that would get your nipples erect. I love Phil Collins. Dude, there's nobody who like, he owns it.

He embodies it. Peter Gabriel. I'm so sorry. That's who did Sledgehammer. That's right. Peter Gabriel. Why does he feel like Phil Collins to me?

There's a P, Peter Gabriel.

Similar name. Don't do that. Don't play that song, dude. Don't play that song. Don't get me amped up in this room right now. I'll lose my fucking life.

No, Blueface.

I don't know about that. Yeah, no, Blueface was okay back then.

You could still do it. That's tough. I don't know about that.

No, you can still do it, man.

Trolls, avatars, smurfs.

No, smurfs didn't have rights back then. They didn't. And smurfs, lives matter. I want to say that right now. I know it's controversial as it may seem, but I do feel like I should take a stand.

Thank you for taking us.

But go watch people at some point. Please go watch at the end of this episode or pause it and go watch it and come back and go watch Pterodactyl on Amazon. You're a great comic. Honestly, I mean that because when me and Bob did a show and you popped and did some time with us, I thought it's cool to see... It's been cool to see your ascension. Not to say I've been watching you, but you have really, in the last couple of years, it's been cool to watch you rise, grow, and expand. You and fucking and Blaustin. Yeah. I mean, it's wild to watch him grow into that, too, because I met that guy 15 years ago. I'm sure you know the story.

We were watching that recently.

It's wild, man. It's great to see that. I'm glad we're getting to do our own thing and not to harp on it too much. We'll get back to fun stuff. But it's cool to see alternative like Amazon because Netflix was like the bully. Now people are like, Okay, I'll just do my own thing now. I'll go a different way or I'll self-produce or I'll put it out on a different platform and Bargatsy being on Amazon and-Yeah, Jams, our guys do. I think all of that is cool that we're shifting the game. It's not just like, You got to do it like this, because it used to be just like, Whatever you guys want us.

To do, man. Right. And that's how Amazon was the opposite. They were great about it. They're like, Look, we want to promo just as much as you do. And they were like, Here's what we're going to promote on your side. Here's what you can do on your side. It felt very collaborative versus I feel like Netflix, also a great company, and some of my friends over there, Hey, cheeseburg. But it felt like, and I don't know how you're dealing with Structure, but it felt like they're like, All right, go shoot it, give it to us, and you do the rest. I don't know.

Yeah, for me, it was I wanted to own it. I was either going to self distribute it somehow or something. I didn't really know. When I talked to Netflix, I had said, I do want to own all the material, and I want it to be me. I don't want you to tell me, I don't want any. I want to do all of it myself. I was like, I want to pick it. The only thing I wanted them to tell me what they needed was ratios for video. The only requirements I wanted from them were like, Tell me the ratios that the edit needs to be in and tell me where the fucking water marks need to be and all that stuff. That's it. Because outside of that, I said I wanted to doI didn't want any suggestions.

Yeah. And what's great about this special is I own it after three years, so it's pretty much the same deal. It's yours. Yeah. Then I get it back. That's fucking rad. Then I get to just throw it up on Snapchat Premium or wherever the fuck I want to put it after.

Are you on Snapchat still? Because people are on it making money.

I'm not making money like that, but I still have it. I know people that post, they have to post a hundred times a day, like a photo. And then the last photo is of a chick's ass because that's the thumbnail of the story. Smart. And it's very smart. I wish I knew that many chicks with a good ass or that many chicks in general. I'm just DMing the same girl. Can we do that weekly?

Send your butt again, please.

Yeah, I'll Photoshop myself in there. We're at a Mets game. But yeah, that seems like the most soul-sucking version of making money. Because they post, it would just be like, if I did this podcast today. It would be every single inch of this. I'm just like, I also feel like I would dox myself without even knowing it.

Yeah, on accident.

I'd be like, Oh, this Chipotle is crazy. Everyone's like, This is the Chipotle Offinterra Boulevard, isn't it? You're like, Oh, fuck, dude, I don't.

You're like, It is. Do you want to hang?

Yeah. They come to beat my ass and I'm taking photos of them. Hold on. Do you have a nice ass, sir? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah, I don't like any of that stuff.

It's a little too invasive. It's too close to home.

You're very good about that. Your personal life is your personal life and your career.

Is your career. I try. I'm also just not good at social media.

I don't know. It's funny. I thought you were very secretive. I just don't fucking know.

I don't know. No, I just don't care enough about social media. I try to give a fuck. And then every time I do, I overthink it. And then I'm like, Fuck this. Never mind. I do this and that and Bad Friends. So I feel like this is my posting on Instagram.

Or whatever. The story post of the week, you'll just talk about it here instead.

Yeah. The story that I would have shared with them was with the thing I told you before. I just got back from the doctor and they tell me my cholesterol is too high. Now I got to be on medication.

What are they giving you?

I don't know the name of it. I'm sure it's funny. Cholesterol medication names are always funny. I think they partially want to make you feel bad about, let's say, Lipitor. I mean, it.

Just sounds like a-All these sound like they could get my cock hard. That's right. Lipitor, that's called. Or Harry Potter's spell.

Alta Prev. L'avile. Did you.

Know your cholesterol was high?

I mean, I could feel... Sometimes I can hear my heart go and then I'm like, all right. That's great.

Yeah, I know I think I knew my cholesterol was high because the level of stress and stuff caused from the pain from this injury I have. So I've been running higher than normal. But I imagine, too, I'm not restricting my diet as much as I used to.

Really? God, I never restrict it.

I feel like in the future it's going to-.

You're good at now. Yeah, now. Wow.

Yeah, 10 years you're fucked. Do you eat fast food?

I ate in and out last night. I mean, that's like my level of fast food.

Yeah, that is literally fast food. It's not your level. That's everyone's level.

Yeah, but in my head, it's like shopping at Trader Joe's. It seems healthy in your head, but there's still really shitty food.

Well, there's so much shitty food. In fact, I think I would argue Trader Joe's, percentage wise, has more bad shit than good shit for you. That's very true. Their fucking dessert, the frozen- The whole row. It's all bad shit. It's all terrible shit.

For you. But in my head, Trader Joe's is like, Oh, health. Same thing with the whole food. In and out to me, I'm like, Oh, they fry the fries and peanut oil. We're good.

Yeah, but you're like, But it's fried. It doesn't.

Fucking matter. They believe in Jesus over there. We're good. They got quotes on the bottom of the cup. John 3:16.

God blessed, dude. That's why Chick-fil-A is closed on Sunday to pray for the gays. That's what they say right on their cup. We're praying for gays. We're closed to pray for the gays. That is still phenomenal to me that a business is so successful and they're closed on a day where everybody would go get them.

If you know the day that they reopen on Sundays is going to be massive.

See, I don't know. I think this is their calling card.

Well, imagine McDonald's got bullying into doing breakfast past the normal hours. Do they do it all day? I don't.

Think so. It is all day now, right? Why is it.

Fucking always beeping in there all day? Beep, boop, boop, boop.

Something's going off.

But all the time? Yeah. Even on a.

Slow shift? You know what that is? That's the fry cooker telling you it's done. You got to pull it up and they got to hit the button to stop. It used to work at McDonald's. Did you? Really? Yeah.

Wow, you gave me the full ass answer.

That sounds like a plane landing. The fry cook has a Timer, and you're supposed to turn it off.

Don't those beeps drive you insane? So you went to McDonald's to Book of the Beppos? That's a glow-up.

No, that was McDonald's when I was 15. Book of the Beppos was in college when I was valet-ing. But I worked a thousand jobs in between that. Did you have a bunch of.

Shitty day jobs? Oh, yeah. I used to work in a kiosk inside of a Costco in college. Oh, wow. Window coverings. It was like blinds.

And shit. Could you sell?

No. You weren't good at it. Because what happened is I was a middle man. I would get a dad who was just shopping out there for some Michelobes would stop by and we see all the blind shit. He would be like, How much for that? I'm like, Oh, well, we can just schedule you an appointment. I was the middle man. I would get their contact.

What a waste.

Oh, terrible. But then the dads would always be like, Well, I'll tell you the dimensions right now. It's nine by 16, and I want that right there. I was like, Sir, I don't know. I was in college. I was hungover. Sir, I don't know what I'm doing. I used to write stand-up while I was just there. But the guys would yell at me and be like, How do you not know much it's cost?

I'm just a guy. This company failed, yes? Probably. There's no chance that's still around. What a weird system. Do you want this product? I do. Well, I'm going to schedule you to talk to somebody else to get this product.

Yeah, because once you're in your home, you're not going to know.

Yeah, but it's also one more step they don't need. It doesn't make sense.

I remember my best day was when we... So it was a bunch of me and my frat guys that worked there.

Fraternity. Fraternity. Sorry. Don't call your fraternity a frat. Don't understand. You don't troll your country a cunt. That's what they used to say all the time. You see here a guy saying it on the camera. You don't call your country a cunt. Don't call your fraternity a frat. What fraternity were you.

In again? Delta U-P-S-L-I.

That's the Jewish one. I'm just kidding.

It's.

Not the Jewish one.

Which one were.

You in? No, dude, they wouldn't. No chance. Look at me, dude. They wouldn't let me in.

You seem like an undercard. I mean.

That respectfully. No, you know what it is? I have a huge issue with authority and rules, so I wouldn't know the process.

Dude, there was a few guys at week one of pledging. They were like, No. No? No, this is bullshit. I just want women and chicks. Get this.

Pledge out of here. Yeah, no, I was no. You would have never convinced me to do the thing to be a part of the machine. Fuck that. That was my issue. I was like, I'm not doing that just to join. But do you want to be friends with us? I'll be friends with you guys outside of the fraternity. You just don't want a brotherhood? Yeah. I mean, you can be my homie.

You have to do the elephant walk with us. No, I don't. Put a thumb in another man's ass. Did you do that? No.

Come on, dude. I did it. You did, dude.

That was off campus. That was just boys being boys. That was just a good friends giving, you know what I mean?

Just heading to Del Taco, dude. Plug it in. No, I couldn't do it because I didn't have the discipline to want to listen to other similar aged men telling me what to do is crazy. You know what I mean? You know what they should do? Just bring in an older guy to bully you around, and I would have listened to.

That guy. Because this guy was like 22, but he had a beard. That's impressive.

For me. I still can't. You still can't get one?

It looks like a GameStop employee. It's not good. It's patchy. I really went for it during the pandemic for a month, and it just didn't. I like the response people give me. They'd be like, Oh, you're really going for it. You're like, Fucking...

I don't know that's embarrassing.

Either you have to or.

You don't. Yeah. Adam Devine showed up last night to the event.

Big name drop.

Yeah. He's got a new mustache on his face, and it looks actually pretty good.

You know the cool part about this town, where.

Was I? No, I didn't see him as a mustache guy, but now that I saw, I was pretty impressed. I was a little shocked that it looked so good. There it is here.

Is human on the photo. -he's got a mustache. He's got a little ha-ha to him.

That's what he said. He's like a French detective. Yeah, he does have a little bit of Pink Panther.

Yeah. You know what I like about this town is you can do anything you want. It's for a role. You can look like, Shit, I got this movie coming up. Then that movie just never comes up.

You could do that with anything. When you fucking rob somebody, you'd be like, Just for a.

Role, buddy. Yeah, character development. Holy shit.

Yeah, this guy.

This is for a role. Do the people on camera know.

What that looks like? Yeah, people do know by now that McCona Shave just had to match Carlos on Bad Friends. Oh, that's good. It's fun. He committed to the bit. Wow. Committed to the bit. Have you done anything like that? Have you ever committed to the bit?

Commit.

To the bit. Because you do... Look, dude, of all the stuff that you've done, you've created so much funny content on the internet in terms of videos and sketches. Thank you, man. Have you gone overboard and committed to the bit with something.

Like that? My version of that is bleached my hair with $8 Target Bleach, and my mom did it for me four.

Years ago. Rad mom.

Great mom. I was in between apartments, and then I lived home for a month, and she bleached my hair, and it looked terrible. I've never had worse comments in my life. It's like, You totally you fucking idiot. It looks like a cat-beat on your head. Yeah, it wasn't good.

It was Trevor Wall's.

Bleached hair. Yeah, so in the White Club video, one of my most big videos I had this bleached hair, it just looked like I have a very douchey punchable face, but this really upped the ante. That is like, you see that guy at a Kmart. You just know he's stealing Whippets.

I hate.

That guy. Yeah, not good.

I like you like this so much more.

Yeah, I did it for the bit. I was like, I wanted to do it for a video. Deep down, I was like, I want to know. And Blau's got bleached hair, too. He's going through the same thing.

But he looks like he should have bleached hair. I don't know what it is. It looks like it's supposed to be that way. It fits.

I think if you can get dark hair underneath, it does work. But I feel like bleaching your hair is like a girl's version of getting bangs. You're going through something. You don't know what it is. But you're.

Not coming- That's daddy issues. Yeah, there's something in life. For you, it's mommy issues. That's all that is. Because who did it? Who died your head? Mommy did it for me. You moved back home and then you moved back. Now you're living alone again, right? Live alone again.

Good for you, dude. I was here in the Valley. Just me and my cat, dude.

Lonely. What's the pussy's name?

Pluto.

Oh, right on. After Pluto the Dog or Pluto the Planet.

Was.

Pluto not a planet? Not anymore. Yeah, we denounced it, right? Wow. It got canceled. Pluto as a planet got canceled.

I feel that, though. 2015 came around and we're done with you.

Yeah, they did. They shuffled it right off into fucking space.

Yeah, I just feel bad for Pluto, the actual planet. What does he know? Oh, it's also a dwarf planet. I don't.

Know if we can even say that. Whoa, careful of that language.

That's what it says on Google. I don't.

Know if we can say that. It's an LP planet. Little planet. Little planet. Yeah, it's an LP. Fuck, my bad. In the Kuiper Belt, a ring of the body is beyond the orbit of Neptune. It's the ninth largest and 10th most massive known object to directly orbit the sun. Dude, this guy is buffed up. He's jacking around the sun, and they still won't recognize him?

He got discovered in 1930. My man's coming up on 100 years. He's a 90-year-old man. We're like, Dude, you're not fucking real. He's like, What?

That's so fucked up.

Imagine telling a guy with dementia, you're not real. Then you have to tell him every five minutes. But think about that. It's also cool that he's not a planet because he's also a massive star. If he's a star in the solar system, he's one of the biggest stars.

He's like Johnny Mansell in the CFL.

Superstar.

Superstar. And I felt like, yeah, Pluto is the Johnny Mansell of the planet.

He's a great guy. He should be nicknamed Pluto, Johnny Mansell.

Yes, he went up to the League. I love Johnny Mansell. In college, I think I dressed up as him for Halloween one year. He was like my guy.

He was your dude, huh?

I was in college the same time he was playing. We'd watch A&M games. Our school had a football team. They sucked. Wait, what school? San Jose State. We were D1, we're like the Mountain West. We play like a fucking like a good youth league or something. But we would get up early and watch A&M games. Johnny Mansell was the guy.

He really was, dude.

Being in college at the same time as him, I felt like this weird connection.

Well, that's the same thing. As you grow up with athletes, you feel like it's creepy to me to think that LeBron and I are the same age. That's weird as shit because I grew watching him. Now I'm like, But we're the same age. It's super weird. In my mind, I always thought he was much, much older than me, but he's not. Why would I think that we graduated the same year? Holy shit. It's creepy to think that as you get older, especially because now there's pro-athletes that I know and their buddies.

But he also has bad cholesterol.

No, dude, we just got a check. Lebron is all good. His lipids were high for some reason, but I don't even know what that means. We'll sneak up on you. It could be HCH or the T. You're not taking the T. You don't need any of that stuff.

I take a lot of it.

You do?

That's awesome. I don't know why it's all about college, but in college my friend did steroids. I did one shot of steroids one day.

In your ass?

No, left bicep. I should have done it on the ass.

Aren't you supposed to put it in your butt? Isn't that the whole thing? I think.

So, yeah. But you have to have somebody else do it in a gold's gym.

They say you have to have somebody else put it in your ass, but you can put it in your ass yourself.

What if you miss?

And somebody's going to clip that what I just said.

I have put a suppository in.

What? What for?

I have a really bad colon. I have a thing called ulcerative colitis. Ladies, you turned on yet? Ladies. I have a bad colon, and they didn't know what it was. And to get to your colon, it's like the spot under your car seat where the French fries go even deeper. You can't get to it. So you either have shoot something up your ass or put something down your throat. I was like, Look, the male G-Spot's in the ass. Let me go up there. So for a month straight, every night, my roommates never knew this. When I first moved to L. A, I had to every night put a suppository up my ass. I was like, Imagine walking in on your roommate, and I'm just like Spread Eagle just sitting there like, Yeah, I hit my rent. Every night I had to do it. And then in the morning I.

Was shit it out. Sorry to interrupt, Trevor, but we got to split up the cable bill.

Yeah, try to watch the animal plant? What the fuck?

Do you need help, dude?

Were you moaning?

So you put it up for how many years?

I did it for months straight.

But you could have taken it orally, right?

No, because this was a time where they needed this medicine to be in my colon. So they'd shoot it up my ass. It's a very weird time in my life. So now the colon is fine because now they found the medicine that I can just take orally to make it good.

What's that one called? Murecaptopurine. Murecaptopurine. Shout out to Murecaptopurine and all of the good it does. See, look, dude, I'm on meds. You're on meds. We're doing a do our med boys.

Everybody walks past us on the street like, Wow, their life must be so perfect. I'm putting shit up my ass nightly.

Med men. We should run our own med men where it's just you and I talking about the medication that we're currently taking. That would be great. People are like, Is there weed here? You're like, No, dude. My boy's going to show you how he puts stuff on his butt.

Yeah, but bend over. It'll be healthy. Your colon will be good.

Are you a weed guy? Do you smoke weed?

Kind of. Sometimes. I smoked recently a bunch. I just hate the next day feeling a little off.

You do. You feel off. It does affect you.

I feel like no matter how much coffee I have or even if I work out, I hit that ceiling in the morning where there's haze.

Do you feel that or no? No, man, honestly, I feel that way when I get high. When I get high, I love it. The next day, I'm usually pretty good. Booze is probably the next day. Even if I'm not drinking heavily, even if I have a couple, I still feel ble from booze. The thing that makes me feel the worse the next day is Niqueil, dude.

Yes.

I feel like shit for the first six hours of the day.

Yeah, you feel like your brain is on subtitle mode. It sucks. It's slightly delayed.

Yeah, you know what depersonalization syndrome is? You know what that is? Where you're disconnected from yourself. That's how I feel. I feel depersonalized where I'm like- Yeah, I hate that shit.

-jawsiness and all that stuff. Also the dreams you have on, like Nightquil or Insane, getting or as eaten by a.

Gargoyle or something. Doxlamine, yeah. That stuff, it lasts forever. I think sometimes... I think sometimes like anything, you know how when you take an edible and they're like, Each of these should be like three or five grams or whatever. You know what I mean? If it's a homemade, if it's not, you know what I mean? Yes. You don't know how much is in each one of those. You're like, We're guessing. It's the same thing with the NIGEL.

I don't even use the cap on NIGEL. I just.

Sip it out of the bottle. That cap thing gets thrown away right when you open it up.

Exactly, because it's messy and I don't do the dishes. We all know this. I've got to wait until Sunday to take it. But yeah, I just do it. This feels about right, glug, glug, glug. Then the next morning, I feel like shit.

I hated it. I did it recently because I couldn't get to sleep because I was having bat leg pain. I was like, Fuck this. I'm just going to try. I woke up to piss. You are 40. Dude, 100 %. I woke up to piss like twice and then I've shot that.

When does that start?

Waking up to piss? Yeah, I don't do either. Late 30s, like 36, 37.

Okay, I got to come.

To you on it. You'll wake up to piss, yeah.

I don't have that yet, and thank God.

Well, the trick is not drinking water after a certain hour of the night. My God, this is old shit, dude. Do you leak at all? We talked about this on Bad Friends, too. After you piss, you ever shake and then leak a little bit? Yeah, of course. Dude, it gets worse. Really? Yeah, did you start flooding your jeans, my dude?

No way, dude. I was wearing boxes the other day. I forget why, but I put some of these on, and you could just see a spot. A little peep spot right there. That's a little aggressive.

Where my dick goes. I was just going to.

Say, dude. Get a little higher. I was by my ankle up here, but yeah, I was full-blown. That's a peep spot. Yeah, it sucks. Speaking of peep, can I.

Go to the bathroom real quick? No.

All right, cool. So, anyways, Bad Friends today is brought to you by LaVitra. In here.

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I like genders.

Look, I just got sent your special.

Really?

Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. I think you're one.

Of your... Oh, yeah, the PR? The PR?

The PR person they sent it to me. It's so funny.

It's funny when you know the person, you're like, What do you mean? It's like, This is Trevor Walls. Here's the things you can talk about.

Here's just jump-off points. Here's the deal, dude. You have to self-promote. I think I've talked about it on this stupid show, but I saw a great interview from DuPlas, and he was talking about, I think it was a commencement speech, and he was talking about, When you make something in this business, you think that, or they tell you like, Hey, man, you make something, you work really hard and you do good, the Calvary will come calling. And you're like, All right. And you make this thing and you put it out and you put all this effort into it. And you're like, Come on, man, I'm doing it. I need help. And then once it comes out, you're like, All right, Calvary is going to come. You know what I mean? Meaning like, This is it, dude, and it doesn't come. And then you do another thing and you do all this self-generated thing. And then you're like, All right, Calvary is coming, though, right? They're going to fucking call me. And then he goes, Then you work tirelessly until you reach a point in your career when you realize that Calvary isn't coming and it never was fucking come.

You had to self-generate all this stuff no matter what. You have to do all of this work. Other people around you are great to help you. But at the end of the day, I think people don't really know in our business, particularly if you don't go do it, it ain't happening. I know people are like, they're plugged into the system. You hear these rumors when somebody says the business wants him to make it. It's like, that's not a real thing. It's either that person has incredibly good promotional skill work or they have hired enough people around them who are intelligent that know how to promote them enough so that the thing that they made can get more eyes.

Or if they're a mystery person, where it's like you disappear. Frank O'Chen is one of those guys where it's like, You never know what he's doing. Then he finally dropped something out of the blue and it hits. I was like, Oh, fuck, this is out now?

Yeah, he has that. But let's be honest, I mean, this is no diss on him. Frank is also niche in the world of-First-name bases. F-dog is what I call him. F- Boy. I think I call him F- Boy. F- Boy Island. This week on Netflix with Nicky Glaser. No, I think with him, it's like, he's not in the commercial space. Do you know what I'm saying? He's niche in the world of like, he's very known in music, but he's not pop culturally known. He captivates a market that is already itching for him to continue to make art. I don't.

Think.

If I go ask 30 people on the street, varying ages who Frank O'Chen is, I think half would know. But if I go said, Who's fucking Taylor Swift? You know what I mean? Got you. Okay, so he was not in the pop culture space. For him, I think he wants to stay more isolated and small and then make something and then go away for a little bit. Yeah, I was thinking- Because he's.

Already got the audience. I think it's on accident, his mysteriousness. I think he's like, I just wanted to be away from him a little bit.

Get away from the machine.

Yeah, but then everyone's like, he's so mysterious and whatever it is. But it's also the same thing with like, Chappell's nothing, nothing, nothing. Boom, special. You're like, Oh, fuck, it's everywhere. But I feel like what he did in the beginning to get that is what I feel like I have to go through now. They're sending me so many things.

You say that, but some of those guys were always that way. Really? Yeah. Some of those guys were just always that way. They always were like, I'll give it to you when I'm ready. And it just works for some reason.

Yeah. Granted, this is my first special, so I don't really know how much I need to do, but I really want to just go all out. Because if I did as much promo as I could and it does great, awesome. I feel like I earned it. If it flops, hey, I did what I could.

Well, there's no flopping. That doesn't exist. That's not a real thing. It's going to come out and people are going to like it. Some people won't see it.

Some people, you're like, How do you feel before? A week before cheeseburg. Are you.

Just-i couldn't care less. I put it out. I had fun. I hope you like it.

That's literally how I feel. I loved it.

I loved it. Yeah, I had a good time.

Yeah, the first cut I was like, What the fuck is this?

And.

Then I sat down with it and after I drove up to the editor's place and stayed there for the weekend and we just went through all these edits. Then I was like, There it is. There it is. I was like, It felt very collaborative. Sure. I was.

Picking stuff up to it. Honestly, because you know that some people aren't going to like it, a lot of people, most people won't see it. Then I just go, The people that do see it, I hope they fucking dig it, and I hope they know that I enjoyed the fuck out of making it. It was more fun than anything. I wanted to know with you. I never wanted to be this profound comedian. I just wanted to go fuck around and have fun. I wanted it to be fun.

It is funny looking at how HD and how it's like 8K, gorgeous picture. I'm up there being like, I don't mind coming too quick. It is just funny. You go to the Video Village and there's just 10 different cameras. All right, cut to C, cut to A, but the material you're talking about is the same thing you'd be doing at the improv any given night. Sure. It's just funny that it just looks so good. It looks phenomenal. And not to jerk my own cack, but I think it looks really good. I love the set dressing. Who did it?

Who shot it?

Eighths and a pound, Gorilla did it.

Yeah, the best.

They're the best. And then, Brandon Dermer, buddy of ours, he couldn't do it because he's a bitch. No, the writer... Director-strike. He's a bitch. Director-strike. That's what he said. He couldn't fucking say action. He had a buddy, George Dewitt, who- Yeah, George. He did it for me, and he fucking crushed it, man. I'm really into that. It looks great.

And the jokes are funny.

Jokes are funny.

And you bring out an animal on stage and you sacrifice it? Is that the-Yeah.

I was going to save that for the ending bit.

We can cut that.

Yeah, if you could, please.

But you do. You kill a small dog. Is that what that is?

It's like a Yorkie. So is it a dog? I did a poll on my Instagram beforehand. I was like, What dog is not a dog? And most people are like, The crusty white dogs, those got to go.

What dog are you guys cool with me killing on stage?

And Bassett Hound was a runner up, but they're like, Just put him out of the misery. Every bark those things have sounds like the last.

Oh, fuck. My buddy growing up had one of those fucking things. Yeah, that and beagles. Yeah, beagle. That's what it is. It was a beagle. I picked a mistake too.

But Bassett Hounds have those sad ones, too.

Beagles, I mean.

What the fuck are they saying? Their ears dragged the ground, though. That's cute, dude. They mop up.

The floor. They could fly so easy as flat those over the eyes.

But you're a cat guy. You know you don't like dogs.

Yeah, well, the next special I'm going to sacrifice my own cat. Good for you. This movie we called is Pluto, a Planet, starring Johnny Mansell.

That's right, dude.

Yeah, so probably I'd.

Just like to-If you're tied of Johnny Mansell did your jokes on stage, you shot him doing your shit, that'd be fucking rad. That would have been a good promo. I'm going to call him right now. Yeah, you know him? Johnny! Imagine if he's just on FaceTime.

All the time. I feel like, well, you went to ASU or U of A?

Arizona State. Watch your mouth, dude. Sorry. Didn't go to school in Mexico, dude. I went to Phoenix, dude.

The dirty T.

Yeah, I love Phoenix.

He's in Arizona. He's an Arizona guy.

He's in South Carolina. Yeah. Do you know him? I don't know him, dude. I know a few people that have run into him, you know what I mean? But I do not know him, but I'm fascinated by him. I am fascinated by that. Did you watch the documentary on it? Oh, yeah.

I watched that and man, it's almost like sad. Yeah.

Well, here's my for people that haven't seen it. It's a tale of the struggle of what it's like to come out of being the most hyped up, beloved, Heisman winner out of college, and then the NFL pushing you around a little bit and not really working. You're feeling not a part of the system. You're struggling with these outside things. I will say this, when I've spoken to any people at that high level, the thing that we don't recognize as regular people is they've been training like that since they were, and I mean, literal children.

Yeah, so she's Texas.

Yeah, you're just seven years old and you're being pumped into a system.

They cut the umbilical cord and.

Go, hike. Let's go, baby. Yeah, they come out like that. They go, Omaha.

That's his middle name. How did you know?

His first words for Omaha. They breed you into this world of you have to be obsessed with sports. By the time they hit 22, they're tired.

It feels like your friend who has grew up super, super religious, and then go to college and they finally get a little bit of freedom and they're like, I don't need to live by my.

Parents' rules anymore. They're like, What the fuck was.

I thinking? Suddenly I'm doing cocaine off a Buick key and I like it.

An Aztec, an Aztec key, a Pontiac Aztec. We have a family friend who grew up pretty strict Mormon, and then all of the kids rebelled. All of them went off the radar because they were like, Oh, you can live more free. You don't have to feel guilty about wanting to have a drink. I think culturally, when you force people to do something for so long when you're really young, when you get older, you're definitely going to be like, Fuck that.

You try and you're like, Oh, my God, this is so much better. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. A Mountain Dew to a fucking a Mormon?

Bro.

A relapse right there. I mean, that and the Amos, the Amos fascinate.

Me, too. Have you ever seen them? Yeah.

When I'm doing gigs in Pennsylvania, you're just like driving from gig to gig. You open your eyes and there they are, horse and bug it out. I do love that. They have cool ones. I saw them recently. It was Matt Black with black windows. They got the Jesus flag.

A buggy was blacked out?

Dude, yeah. Wow. It was sick. I mean, maybe somebody died and it was like a hearse.

Or something. Yeah, I was just going to say it could have been something else.

Yeah, I don't know. But it looked like the Pope was in town.

That is pretty clean. Did they ever dress up their horses? I wonder.

Well, they got convertible versions, too. They got the drop top, the soft top. There it.

Is in the summer today.

Kids in the back being like, What the fuck are you looking at? Do you see them back there? The horse and buck. Yeah. I want to live Amish for a week just to see what's going on.

You could.

Yeah, well, there's a show I love watching called Return to Amish. It's a reality show and they beef. It's so fucking funny what they beef over. They're like, You texted, darling. They're like, What the fuck did you say I did? I texted? I don't do that devil magic. It's fucking great.

I've never seen this show before. I've never heard of it. I love it. So just documenting people that live in the Amish community.

It's people who, I think, the family is still full-blown Amish, but then somebody left and.

Then came back. I like when they leave. Oh, and they came back, though.

Yeah, but I think this whole show is fake somehow because they wouldn't allow somebody with a video camera in their house. But like, Dude, the slowmo, look at this. It's fucking hard.

It is rad.

But somebody goes like, New York, and then they come home and they're like, What was it like in that fucking people world?

Well, that's like rum springing. That's what it is, rum springing. You know what that is? That sounds fun, though. Rum springing is a one year sabbatical. Oh, yeah. That they take to go here.

You get one year to see if you want to live.

That life. Yeah, rumspringing. Write a passage during adolescence. It's translated from -You.

Guys are smoking crack.

That's right. Yeah, well, you got to light.

Up a rock. I mean, if I had a year to leave the Amish and do whatever, how soon you'd smoke and crack?

First day, my guy. That's my first stop, just go get a rock.

I'm getting the horse and buggy, and I'm blowing crack.

Of my ass. They're allowed to go rage for a year. If they come back, it's because they really, I think the goal is if they come back is because they really want to be a part of faith.

Dude, this is like the Amish bar mitzvah. That is the best thing I think you get.

A year. You and I should write a movie about rum Springer. You should do it. I'll be your older brother. I never did it. In the movie, we'll say, Well, how old are they when you do rum Springer? There's obviously a movie about it. Look at that guy right there. Was it good? But no, it wasn't good. We're doing our version.

Oh, that's on Netflix?

You think a Trevor Wallace, Andrew Santino, Run Spring isn't going to crush, it'll kill. Dude. I got the idea right here. I'm your older brother. When did I come out? 2022. What does it say? It counts on hold. Jesus Christ. Young Amish man trying to travel to Berlin on a ride a pass to Connect Roots. Berlin? Yeah. No, I'm out. I got a better version of this.

Run Spring, I don't even know if you can say that.

Word still. Room Spring. You're 18 in the movie. You're about to become a man. What the fuck? Never mind. Osama bin Laden and Ariana Grande. You didn't know they used to date?

Is that what?

Yeah, Osama and Ariana Grande were a couple for a short period of time. Isn't that crazy? She's whispering in his ear there, Tower Two. That was all her, dude. They're recreating The Bush. Yeah, The Bush secret. By the way, let's bring up a picture of that one more time for fun. When Bush is told that the planes hit the tower on 9/11, my favorite-What did you like? The funny thing about that is people were so angry about his reaction. What did you want him to do? Turn to a bunch of kids and be like, Dude, you guys are not going to.

Believe this. Did you see the golf swing?

Oh, I loved it. I talked about it in my special. I do a bit about where he's like, You know what? We have to defeat terror. He's like, Now watch this swing. I love this guy. He was like, We're going to bomb the world. Now check me out. I think he handled it hilarious. It was great.

What did you want him to do? That's the second he found out.

About 9/11? That's when he's being told that the exact words whispered in George was his ear that the United States is.

Under attack. Then he just cuts to a Blue Choo ad and he's like, We'll be right back. But today we're.

Just throwing a roof.

I've never seen.

This video. This is the exact moment where he is told in his.

Ear-what was he doing before this?

Like doing a book reading to kids or something like that in one of those. Look, he's like, Mr. President, there's a plane just ran into the train terror. Because after the first one they didn't know it was a terrorist attack, there was a lot of misinformation about it, and that basically confirmed that it was a terrorist attack and we were at war.

And he's still reading the book?

Well, I think he's contemplating what the fuck I'm going to do. Well, because what he's really thinking is it worked. It worked. It worked.

And he looks at me and goes, Let me know about number three.

Let me know about number three.

Holy shit. I had no idea that he was just in a classroom right there.

Yeah, he was just kicking it. Well, how old were you during 9/11? What is? You were born in what?

92.

Holy.

Shit. I think it was in first grade.

Yeah, you don't remember.

It at all. No, I remember the morning. Oh, you do? I remember the morning. We were in class and the teacher said something like, This is going to be a very different day.

A different day?

Yeah, that's all I remember.

I remember pretty vividly I was.

In high school. But my teacher also had a pet snake in that class. So that's very on-brand for her. And if you got extra credit, you could watch her on the last Friday of the month, watch her feed the snake a mouse. What? Yeah, you can watch it. Everybody would go to recess. And if you got good grades, you could watch the snake feed. Mrs. Kyle, shout.

Out to her. Mrs. Kyle? Yeah. Shout out to Mrs. Kyle. I hope she's one of the good ones.

Yeah, she's still around.

Because all I keep reading is every teacher. Look, if you just google teacher and student-I mean.

If you want to be around kids all day, it says something about it. It's creepy, dude. Yeah. Oh, long division?

They just busted another one. They just busted a teacher and that one right there. They just.

Busted one yesterday. What does it say?

Another ex-middle school teacher hooking up with a 14-year-old or something. It's insane, dude. How many of these chicks hook up with these young dudes.

I just looked at teacher. I didn't even look at teacher. Yeah, for sure. Holy shit. Put the word step teacher in front of it. See what else comes up. Step teacher.

I dropped my pencil.

Step teacher. That's the new category coming out, step teacher, when worlds combined.

All the chalk has been smacked out of these erasers, step teacher.

Oh, my God. Clap my cheeks like those erasers. That's crazy. I mean, look, if you're a teacher and you want to teach middle school.

What's going on? Here's the deal. You should have to be ugly. I think you should have to be ugly so that kids aren't trying to have this weird relationship.

Your teacher or the kids?

Whose fault is it? Kids are always ugly. Kids are fucking repulsive creatures. Good answer. You've ever seen a teenage boy? They're fucking hideous. They're dumb looking. Teenage boys are the ugliest things to ever walk the earth. They're the dumbest version of any creature. That is true. They're the ugliest, most uncomfortable, and awkward.

They look like an energetic sloth, like their hair is cut in their eyes. The facial expression is slow, but they're moving with pace.

They're beaming with hormones, but they don't know how to feel about them. They're really itchy and gross in their own skin, and they're all pimply and greasy. They never... Teenage boys to me are- Hot.

Yeah, for you, maybe. Not for me, dude. I think they should be eradicated from society. I think you should hide your teenage boys until they become 17.

Then Michael Jackson did with his son, blanket.

Then let them out again. When he's an adult. Hibernate your teenage boys from 13 to 17. They should be hibernating.

I swear to God.

10 winters. Yeah, an all-boy school should be like a prison. They should not be able to leave until they become men and then they cut it out with the bullshit.

Do you ever go to an all-boy school?

No, dude, I went to a public school. I did go to those. Okay. Would not let me in.

All right, it's not going to do it. You don't know what I am. Yeah.

Don't define me. I got kids. Now I'm a public school kid, man. I'm a fucking public school kid through and through. I didn't really know. Private school to me was always, well, Catholic school or whatever as a kid, that was for kids that whose parents were either pretty rich or kids who were fucking smart. For me, it was like, we were just dumb, regular kids. The smart kids would go to Catholic school because they knew it was going to up their chance of getting to a better university.

I was a dumb kid in high school. I was a senior in a math class with sophomore. I thought it was tight.

It was not.

Not tight. This guy gave $20 to get me weed never gave me weed. Was it punked? Got got? He was in my class with me. It was me and a guy who ripped me out for 20 bucks just.

In class. And you never said anything? You never tried to fight this guy?

He.

Was- Bigger than you. -very big.

He was on the football team. That's high school. So think even worse. Yeah, did I? I look like Gages. I look like I should run from mayor of Tucson. That's a guy right there. But yeah, the guy who stole weed from me or weed money was just sitting right behind me in class, Anthony. What did they say? Verified on that.

Anthony what? Let's call him out, dude. I don't remember his name. Anthony, you know who you are. You can't steal money from Trevor now, dude. Where is he now? And where are you now? I have no idea. Pretty good. I think you won that war, probably. I think so. You got the 20 bucks back.

Hey, you know what? If you need that $20, then whatever. That's God's plan right there, as the boy, Champagne, Poppy.

Drake said. That's exactly right. That kid has cancer, by the way, Anthony riddled with it. Oh, yeah.

That's what you get, bitch. No, I don't know. But yeah, that class is all sophomore's and then me. Then my friends would be asking me, How is your algebra? Is your class hard? I'm like, Algebra? When do I get to that level?

Yeah, that's in college, right?

Yeah. Dude, I was not smart. I was literally doing whippets and shit. I was a weird kid in high school. I just hang out with dudes and we would just try to get high. That sounds right. We found out about chicks are sophomore and a sophomore year.

We're like, Whoa. Seems like a lot of work, but I'll try. I think I'll put in some of the effort.

Are these an Indica or Sativa? How do they get us high?

I remember one time my high school girlfriend said- High school girlfriends are great. She goes, I don't know why you feel like lying to me about hanging out with your guy friends. I was like, What do you mean? And she's like, You'll pretend that we're going to hang out and then never make time for me. I'm like, Because I don't like you like that.

I just want you to wear my football jersey on Friday. Yes. That's all this.

Relationship is. I like you a lot, but I like my friends so much more.

Clark can play guitar and is a Tarantula. What do you bring to the table?

Come on, dude.

Did you guys at your school wear the Chicks will wear the guys' football jersey on Friday?

Yeah, I didn't play football, but that was a thing. I didn't either.

But just seeing that, that's how girls are hard launched their relationship with the guy. They'd be like.

Wait, she's wearing-Where is jersey? Yeah. It was also, I think during my era, it was also class rings was a big thing. You gave a girl your class ring. She wore your class. I think that was also another thing. I didn't do any of that cornball bullshit. I didn't even. Are you kidding me, Mike?

Authority. A coach? Shut the fuck up. You want.

To run a play? You're talking- You're running your mouth. I was so bad at that, dude. My coach actually criticized me. He said something like, You're too good for a letterman jacket. I was like, No, that's not me. I don't want to wear that jacket. I want to play the sport. I don't need to wear the jacket to let people know I play the sport. He was real critical of it. He thought-.

What's worse? You doing that or the guy who wears the letterman five years after high school?

Definitely the guy after high school. 100 %. That's the saddest guy. I don't think that happens in this day and age anymore, but it did my generation. Small town, maybe? Yeah. Also, class ring was really weird. I would see guys after high school wear their class ring. I'm like.

What are you doing? My buddy used to work for the USC football team. Didn't even play for USC football, but he worked for the team. He did sales and shit. So we had a ring somehow. And when we would go out, he would wear it. I'm like, That is stolen valor.

Stolen Valor, dude.

Check your paper, soldier.

I would see him from across. We go to the Bangalore in Santa Monica, the worst bar in the world, but my favorite. And you just see him across me. You can just.

See him talking about it. People would probably bite the bait. I'm sure if there were some girls, they're like, That's so cool.

The ring was massive. It was like a ring pop on steroids. But I like try to wear it. I have little feminine fingers. It didn't fit my fingers. I was wearing it as a necklace.

A little tiny. The Bangalore in Santa Monica, that was the spot, huh? Yeah. That was the spot.

You.

Ever been? Many, many, many years ago, man. I used to live.

In Santa Monica when I first moved to L. A. So that was the Saturday day spot if I didn't have anything going on.

I can't believe you're not a beach guy. I would fit you for a beach guy for the rest of your life.

Yeah, I lived in Santa Monica for the longest time. Then I lived in Venice for a little bit.

Got over it. Yeah, I just like- Sick of the homeless stuff? I know that's cliché, but it is real. It is tough down there. It's just too much.

It's too much vagrancy.

I didn't like leaving my house and then you're just immediately in the chaos.

Yeah, that's what it is. It's too much.

I love New York, but the second you're out of your place, you're just in it.

You're just in the 101. See, the New York feels less threatening to me because everyone's doing something. Correct. Where Venice people are milling about. I just feel like it's like nobody has a goal.

Yeah, that is true. If Venice had more guys in the briefcases, I'd be like, This is normal.

Yeah, Venice feels like how all of the characters in Truman's show were like, They're pretending to do something. You're not fucking doing anything. None of these.

People have jobs. Your laptop is upside down. What are you typing on?

Meeting adjourned. That was my problem with the West Side was always.

Like-it's really lax.

It's a lot of people doing nothing and they're all there. I don't like that.

It is very bizarre. Tuesday 2:00 PM, packed.

Packed. What is going on? Neil Brennan used to be like, I got to get out of here. I don't need to go into another coffee shop watching someone write their dream. I was like, That's so funny. That is funny. I think the West Side is filled with people just like-Manifesting. Last night we went out and got something to eat and there was a kid who was writing what looked like code maybe. I'm too dumb to know. He was sleeping at his computer at the coffee shop writing code. I was like, L. A. Is a city where it's like, if you're going to have a dream, we want to all see you doing it. You better get out there and show off your dream. You want a.

Double side of a laptop so everybody can see at all different angles like, I am writing a screenplay.

It is weird. This city promotes flaunting the process, where I think other cities like New York and Chicago are like, You don't really talk about it until you've done it. But here, somebody moves here the first year, they're like, I'm an actor. You're like, Oh, wow. What have you been doing?

I don't know. I was on a ring camera.

Last night. I haven't even done one audition. But you're allowed to promote your dreams at face value here so much louder than other places are a little bit more embarrassed about their dreams.

But I also feel like the more you talk about it, it's like the louder guy in the fight is going to get his ass beat. The more you talk about it, the more I'm like, I don't believe you.

That's true, right? Just do it.

Yeah, do the work. Even in this town, wow, those guys are just like, every time they see you're like, Yeah, I'm actually pitching. I'm working on saying, Did I move? I told you? Do we got to have? And then I'm like, Do you have 10 different projects going on right now?

Whenever somebody does that, I always go, But how are you? Smart. How are you? How's the guy? Because I don't want to fucking give a shit about what project you're working on.

I don't want to fucking give a shit about what project you're working on. I don't want to fucking give a shit. I never know how to stop that talk, but that's great.

I cut it off. I cut it off. I'm always like, Yeah, but what's going on with you, for real? Yeah, you're great with that. Well, when I do that, it's saying, no offense, but I don't give a fuck about it. Right. If I like you as a guy, I don't like your fucking your drive for work.

Do you think entertainment is the only art that does that? Do you thinkanybody like HR. No, dude.

That's big.

You know what I've been working on? I was crushing some slack this morning. And then tomorrow night we got an investor meeting with the pitch week.

No, yeah, look at finance. I'm sure those guys never shut the fuck.

Up about that shit. Yeah, it's Adderall, baby.

They're.

Just fucking.

Cranking it. Cocaine's new daddy, Adderall. I just feel like anything in a business of where your success rate is dependent upon your output, I think people are going to talk a lot about it, right? If you're a hedge fund guy, anything in money and finance and movement, it's like you have to go make it, which is what we do. It's like you got to go make your own career. People are going to talk about it because they want you to know they're doing it in the event that you can maybe help them get the thing that they need, which is also a little disingenuous and unfortunate that it's like, You know what I'm working on? And you remember that guy we were standing with? I don't know if you guys, if you reach out and connect us, which I'll help anybody that I can that I know is putting in the effort to do something. I'll help you as much as I can. But sometimes people are crazy out of bounds in this city. Oh, my God. They ask for stuff and you're like, That's fucking insane. That's insane that you even think that that's cool to ask for.

But you got to applaud the balls, too. Sometimes I'm like, Well, fucking if you don't say it.

Nobody knows. Tim Dylan had a really funny story where it was like some guy randomly DMs like, I got a great pitch for Logan. And then he didn't respond for four hours. And the guy was like, Fine, you're a bitch anyways. Four hours? How did we get from this to this? But that would make me want to respond. That would make me be like, That's fucking. I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch. I'll screenshot this and send it to Logan. You clearly have alpha energy radiating through your body. I'll fire this off to Big Dog.

Yeah, well, the flippant nature of people that love you and hate you is very funny, too. If you ever dive into your request folder sometimes- Oh, it's crazy. I dive in there sometimes. Like, once in a while I'd like to duck in there and see what's going on. My favorite is if I see someone has messaged me four years ago and is like, I fucking love you, man. I love this thing that you did or whatever. Then a year and a half later, I was like, Dude, fuck you, loser. Yeah, what changed? Then another year later, they're like, What's been going on with you and Bobby? Dude, you can literally see a timeline of their emotional instability with you. You're like, What's going on?

It's like just.

A live mutering going on. I do dip into those requests sometimes just to see people who have- Did.

You.

Respond or just have to look at them? No, I don't respond to it. No. No, because most of.

Them- Invalidates.

Well, no, but most of them are like... Most of them are racist video clips that people want me to show Bobby. Most of them are like a fat Asian guy who's like, Who's just Bobby? That's mostly what it is in my DMs.

I was going to say.

Because- Exclusively, dudes, I will say that. I was going to say, being.

Married- It's always bros. I was trying to imagine.

I'll show you.

Are Bobby's DMs horny?

Oh, yeah, because he's single. He's running. He's running hot. Look at all my dudes. It's all dudes. Look at this. All dudes. Yeah, a lot of CarPo, Paul, Fletos. Marco, Ryan, Ben, Robert, David. That was me.

That was my FinStasks. Look at that.

But that is a Danny, Dallas, nick, Joel, Joe, Rowen, Craig.

Rowen could be a chick.

No, it's a dude. And it's two dudes hugging holding fist up in the photo.

Even.

Manlier. But you see, it's literally all bros that are trying to send me a funny clip or saying something rude like, Fuck you. It's all the same bullshit.

It is funny how people have a change of heart.

Are you a single guy right now? I'm a single guy right now.

Yeah, looking for love. Don't really know what's going on. But also, I was touring like crazy and ready for the special and I was in Australia. Now once this is out, I can pick my head up and I'm here for five months and I'm like, Then I can figure.

Out life. Let's talk about Down Under for a minute.

Australia. Do you love it? You've been, yeah?

Yeah, I shot a movie at the beginning of the year. Holy shit. Congrats. Yeah, the beginning of this year. I'm like, what.

Year is it? Dude, you are booked and busy. I was on a flight the other day. I saw a house party.

Yeah, well, dude, yeah, I did that. That was-and.

What do you think.

About it?

Let's pull up IMDb on that. No, but it's.

So cool. I had fun. Yeah, you're always-It's fun to pop in on something that's not yours. That's what I want. Yeah, you pop in and it's not yours. That's what I want to watch. Well, dude, the risk of this movie that's coming out next year, right? I'm in it. It's different. House party or fucking what was the other one I did?

Dave, I think, for you want to show? No, no, I did not. No, no. Little, Dickie is the actor in it? Yeah. It was Paradise.

No, that was Charlie's movie. No, what was the other thing that came out?

That's so cool. You're forgetting roles.

Dude.

I have four roles in my life. I know all.

Of them. Well, no, these are small things I do. It's tiny. The thing I did in me time with Kevin Harden. Yes. But it's so small that the onus is not on me. But I.

Love that you show up to set, you're in it for a week, and you.

Fucking dip. Yeah, have fun and leave. That's why if it doesn't do well, it doesn't bother me. But this movie coming out next year will bother me because it's all you. Well, no, it's not all. But I'm one of the three main characters.

Where did you shoot it in? Melbourne. Melbourne?

Melbourne, yeah, mate.

I liked it out there. You know I love just how they pronounce certain words. How they say tattoo blows my mind. Tato. They get the T, the A, the T, and then just deep.

Through the O. Where did you spend the most time? Sydney?

Sydney.

Yeah. Did you like Sydney?

Loved it. I thought it was cool. But it's not just a town. In my head, it was going to be like the wild thorn bears out there. It was like some jungle truck.

Dude, it's just the- You got to go into the outback, Matt. You got to go out in the bath.

We went to Perth. Did you go there?

I didn't go to Western. I'm going to go to Perth on this next run we're doing next year.

Fuck yeah. The shows are phenomenal. Did you do Santa when you were out there.

Shooting or no? No, when I was filming, I didn't have any time. We were shooting every day and we shot on the fucking weekends, which was crazy. So we have one day off.

That's a lot of hard work for Australians because they're really.

Lazy people. They needed to shoot the fuck out of this movie. We needed to knock it out fast. We only had so many days.

Yeah. Dude, how long were you there for?

Two and a half months or something like that.

Holy.

Shit. Were you around?

There was a minute where I just stopped seeing you on lineups. Was that when.

You were shooting it? Yeah, I was down there. Well, at the beginning of the year, I was in New York for a while, and then I went to Paris for this weird crazy thing.

Yeah, stop saying that. I'm not seeing you on lineups now in a.

Disrespectful way. No, I get it. I'm like, He's just working on some shit. No, it was New York and then Paris. Then Paris, I came right back here for two days, and then I went to Australia for two and a half months. Holy fuck. I was gone for a really long time. Then the moment I got back, we left again. The beginning of the first half of the year was-.

That jet lag is unreal.

It was wild. I lost my mind a little bit.

It's.

Unreal. I had a little bit of a break, a little psychotic break.

Really?

Well, I was there for two, I literally was in the United States.

Trying to communicate.

It was nuts. I went to Paris. I went to New York. Paris, Paris, New York, New York, L. A. For two days, packed, and then left. So when I landed and the day I landed, I had to go to work. I had to go to a fitting and do these reads and all this stuff. And then that night, I had a little bit of a psychotic break. I went to go get something to eat. And I was like, I'm so far away from home. It fucked me up for a second. I got to call my wife and I was like, I'm a little fucked up. I'm not going to lie. I felt freaked out because it all was so fast.

Yeah, I did shrooms in Amsterdam over the summer. That was fun. That was fun. But then I looked at a Google map. Don't do that if you're on shrooms. I'm like, Dude, I'm so fucking.

Far from home. If you die, yeah.

Yeah, it's a long flight. I'm going to fly my body or I'm going to get buried in Amsterdam next to Red Light district. Hell, yeah, dude. Yeah, not a bad place.

Right here, Trevor Wallace. Did you go to the Red Light district? I did. Yeah? Did you get one? You got a little friendly? You can be honest about it. It's not that big of a deal.

I opened up a door because I was looking for my friend and I came out not a virgin anymore. Good for you. I lost it in Amsterdam.

First time I went to Amsterdam, I saw that we went down to the Red Light district.

Does it blow your mind? It's just there?

Yeah.

You think it'd be more hidden. It was like being on Venice Beach and it's just like, smoke shop, kebab shop, tits. It wasn't.

Hidden at all. No, I thought the freedom of it was cool. It was awesome. Do it or don't, that's how it feels there. I genuinely don't have the balls to do it. I had friends that did, and I was like, I can't. They were like, It's legal here. I'm like, I know, dude, but I don't know. The male.

Brain cannot comprehend Amsterdam.

It's legal here is the same as when someone's at a buffet and they're like, It's all free. You're like, All right, you don't have to eat all of it just.

Because it's there. You need crab legs at 9:00 AM. Yeah, but I.

Need to. And schedule and pizza. I couldn't have done it because I was too... I just was like, I don't want to do it. I've been.

Watching guys go in and out. The first night, it was me and Michael.

The people watching.

Was great. The people.

Watching was the fun part. Wait, did Blau get a little friendly?

Blau got ripped off. Hilarious. My experience was like, right down the middle, very, Hey, what's up? It was cool. Seaman.

Good.

Exchange. He got ripped off, and they kept asking for more and more money. And then after a certain amount of time, they're like, Oh, well, your time's up. You have 20 minutes and it's 19 minutes. He comes back to a bar fuming. He's got the shortest temper, maybe, of anybody I've met, but I love him. He's a hothead. So he's back to like, Fuck you. And I paid for it. I was like, Dude, go here. Go do it.

He obviously paid-He's mad about losing your money. Yeah, but that's exactly.

Yeah. He was.

Like-how much was it? How much was it? I think he ended.

Up spending $400.

Nothing happened. What was your event? How much was your? Two hundred. Two hundred bucks? Two hundred bucks. Good. But he came back-I feel like that's crazy cheap for some reason.

Yeah, $200.

What is it there? Yeah, in Amsterdam, that's like $16.

But he came back fuming. I was so mad because he's such a control guy. He's like, You don't rip me off. He's just yelling shit. He was so mad. I was like, Dude, you can't let this be your one Amsterdam experience.

Let's find you. We'll find you one.

Yeah. We got him back.

Out on there. Took another walk.

Yeah. And then I came back, the biggest smile ever. But the people watching us, hilarious, because you'd watch a guy go in there. We sat at a bar across from one, just having a few beers. And then you'd see this guy walk out, big smile, slightly glistening a little bit like a cinnamon glaze. God damn it.

It's hilarious. Now, when you go in there, you don't have to get too detailed, but when you go in there- Going in that pose? -is there a menu?

No.

It's very-Or they just say, Hey, this is it.

Yeah, everything is orally. You know what I mean? But she walked in, she's like, Because I was like, How does this work? And she's like, Give me $200 and we do this. And I was like, All right.

Wow, that's a great experience.

The experience was.

Like-it's like McDonald's. Yeah. What do you want? This? That's all we have.

Yeah, everything was beeping in the background, too. It was a fry chef who's back.

Smoking darts. And she's blowing you. She's just like, Somebody take those fries out, please. Please, come for me, fry.

Breakfast is over.

So take me back down to Australia. You went Sydney, Perth, Adelaide.

Sydney, Melbourne, Perth.

Auckland. Did you do New Zealand?

I didn't do New Zealand. Adelaide? I did not. Did you do- Sydney, Perth, Melbourne, Brisbane.

Brisbane, yeah. Now, what did you like the most? Be honest. What city was the most fun?

The most fun, the Sydney crowd was awesome.

They were great.

Sydney is pretty rad. Perth is a really cool city. It's the most isolated city in the world, allegedly.

Well, yeah, it's way out there.

It's way out there, but they're on the other side of Australia. Nobody neighbors them. Then they're not within five hour flight of anywhere.

Yeah, it takes from Sydney to Perth flight, it was what?

It's like.

Four hours.

It's like L. A. D.

In New York. Chicago, New York.

Yeah, it's going-It blows my mind that in my head, Australia is the size of Hawaii. I'm an idiot. In my head, I was like, Wait, I didn't look at the travel schedule.

It's like L. A. D. In New York.

It's like L. A. D. In New York. Chicago, New York. It's like L. A. D. It's like L. A. D. And pack before the trip for the night before. I didn't really know what was going on. I was like, All right, wait, why is there a five-hour flight? Where are we going? They're like, This is the other side of Australia.

It is wild.

But it's a massive place.

Yeah, it's a big, big fucking country. What else are they like? The eastern side is a little bit closer. It's easier to get from City to Melbourne and all that stuff.

Dude, I'm so dumb. They were like, Yeah, you passed Hawaii to get here. I was like, What? I thought you had to go past New York. In my head, everything is east. Yes. America, anything left is just a brick wall. It's Truman Show. It's just done. It falls off.

Yeah. Well, it is flat.

It.

Is very, very flat.

The world is flat. It is flat. We are flat.

Earthers here on Whisky Ginger. Yes, we are, baby. You believe what you want to believe. Look in the horizon, dude. Know the truth. Know the truth. The frogs are gay. I know what you mean. I do get the thought that you're like, Which way is quicker? But yes, obviously. It blows my mind. It's going to take so long to get there.

The shows are great. The food was food.

It was food. Food was good. Didn't go to Tasmania, did you? No. Missed out, man.

I heard they do incest there.

That's where it started. Really? Yeah, that's where.

It started. That's HQ?

Yep, that is version one. That's the beta of incest that started down there. No, Tasmania is actually... Hobart is where some of the original penal colonies were, and you can go to where the first people were shipped down to be in jail. Some societies as ancient Egypt, brothers, sisters, father, daughter, mother, cousin, cousin, aunt, nephew, other combinations, royal family, marriage, as a means of perpetuating the royal lineage. At this point, McCone is just Googling the word incest, and he's really interested in it. I thought that was going to add to our story, but it did nothing. But he just didn't know what the word.

Incest meant. I was curious to know where incest started. It's at home.

Right here, dude. -there it is. -inside. It's are coming from inside the house. -inside. But the original penal card is wild. You see where the original prisons were. But the funniest part about it is they're rad. Really? Imagine if someone's like, I'm going to banish you out to an island and this is punishment. This is prison. But then you get there, you're like, This is a fucking.

Tropical island. There was one in Sydney on the outskirts. We're out of this boat. It was just an isolated, very small island, smaller than Epstein's. I haven't been. But it's just a castling. It's like, Oh, that used to be a prison. I was like, Dude, 360 views of you to the water and the.

Opera house? It's beautiful. Yeah. What's wrong with this? Lock me up, Daddy. Yeah, I know. Some of these original penal colonies were really beautiful little areas. It was crazy. And the Tasmanian Devil, the little Tasmanian Devil, the reason that they call it that is because they-I.

Sacrificed one of my third special. You do?

Yeah. Well, don't tell anybody. Yeah, sorry. The Tasmanian Devil would scream in the middle of the night. And when these people first came to the island, non-indigenous people, obviously, they thought it was the souls and ghosts of the dead. They thought it was a dead. They thought these things are-No way.

Listen. That's what they listen? That's what they look like?

When they fucking... Imagine that sound. You're out at night coming from the trees, and that's all you hear when you pull up on a fucking boat. Immediately, you're like, Let's get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, how do.

You not leave? Let's get the fuck. Well, a lot of people were afraid that there was dead. The ghosts and the souls of the dead they thought were inhabiting part of the island. God damn. That's why I saw a little Tasmanian devil because it's.

A dark. It looks like 10 animals and one.

Dude, that thing is actually incredibly rad. That thing's.

Jaw is so.

Fucking.

Strong.

It's insane. When the guy went to go feed it, look at the jaw strength of a.

Tasmanian devil.

Sucked you off. How do you know? Look at that. I couldn't finish because I was so interested in.

The stats. Did you see koalas down there?

Yeah, fuck yeah.

Did you smell one? They smell like shit.

I don't know if I smelled it. I don't know if I tucked.

Petted it. Yeah, there was one right next to it. Dude, it smelled terrible.

Really? That's so funny. I didn't know the kangaroos were wild because they're...

The kangaroos are dope.

They just don't give a fuck. No. They do their own shit. You go right up to them and they're bugged out that you're in their space.

Yeah. It feels very like, all right, man, act like you've been here before. Oh, cool. Kangaroo. I punch. I get it.

Did you eat one?

No.

I wanted to. It was delicious. I heard. I actually really enjoyed it. I had a kangaroom.

You got to have.

One down. You got to try a little kangaroo meat. Of course. It was very fucking good. Oh, look, these guys, the jaw strength, these Tasmanian devils is absurd. God damn. For its size, it's the strongest bite that possible, but it rips through bone like butter because their jaw is this is the strongest part of all their muscles in the front of their face.

I did not.

See any of these little guys. No, they were rat, but they fed at a carcass and they in it, dude. He threw it to him, but they're slow. They're not fast. Oh, really? And he was.

Like, You're.

Probably wandering why I'm throwing it and walking away. Because if you'll get a hold of your fucking hand, you'll rip it plain off. I was like, Really? He's like, He'll rip your fucking hand, clean off your body. I was like, Holy shit. I mean, you did watch the way they consume. It's creepy.

Yeah, dude, this is what my first grade teacher should have been showing us. We had a snake and a mouse. What the fuck is this? Yeah, I didn't see any of these.

They're like big rats. They're like big rats. You know what they look like? Rodents of unusual size from The Princess Bride.

Yeah, they.

Look-that's what they look like. Do you remember that movie? Princess Bride, yes. Such a good flick. It's such a good flick. The Rodents of unusual size.

Yeah, they look like a rat that'd be in Ninja Turdles or something.

That's a little baby Splinter. Yeah. Okay, so now the special is out. Are you doing a new hour you're touring with right now? Are you still.

Touring with the hour? I'm not on the show right now. The plan is to go back out. The plan is to stay in L. A. For some months, build it up, get something I'm happy with, get at least 30 new.

Yeah, and then go work.

Yeah, and then go do some clubs and then see where that takes me. Good. Yeah, I'm just excited to be here. Take some meetings, try to pitch a couple of things. I love what you do. You pop in, do a came on a thing, or you're like a reoccurring role, and then you tour Bad Friends and you tour yourself. I feel like you're so good at playing the duality of traditional and also just mainstream media.

Yeah, mainstream media. I'm trying because I still do like acting and all that stuff. You're a great actor, honestly. People can see what you do just by the sketches that you create that you're writing, producing them, directing them, and acting them. The characterization that you're able to do, I mean, dude, look, you're going to have a fucking long, long good career. Just the problem is with what we do is we used to rely on them, and now we don't have to. So it's nice to go back over there sometimes, but it's so much better to keep creating your own shit.

Yeah, I never want to leave the online audience in that freedom.

You can't because you built it. It's yours. They can't shake that out of you. Whereas Hollywood and any of that stuff, it's very unpredictable. It's so quick for them to be like, We don't like this guy anymore. And you're like, What? I thought you guys love that guy. They're like, Nah, dude, fuck that guy. We don't like him anymore.

Yeah. And there's also so many people making that decision. There's like 40 people behind the show and if one person is like, I'm out on Santino.

Let's just add a lunch for some reason.

You're sitting across from him.

Yeah, he's like, Where's the walnuts and the salad? We don't like you anymore. But you're going to keep moving at such a fucking lightning pace, I think. You're off to the races. I hope people go enjoy the special and go watch it right now. Please do. It's available on Amazon Prime. Prime Video, baby. And if you don't have Amazon Prime, get it just for this.

Or wait three years and I'll put it on my YouTube.

No, dude. Dude, just get it. If you don't have it, by the way-If you.

Have a Prime account where you ship shit to your house.

You get Prime Video. Now you're free video. Yeah, that's right. Well, how many people are on Amazon Prime? Let me find out. What are the stats? If you're one of the people that's not on it, I'm shocked.

You've got Prime? You have to. Yeah, it's insane.

My house is like an Amazon warehouse.

The fact, literally.

Two hundred million Amazon.

Prime members. And all those people are going to.

Watch my special, isn't that crazy? They better, dude.

They better. I love Amazon Prime. The fact that I want to be like, I want to air fry and it shows up tomorrow, amazing.

Yeah, it is a little scary how quickly. I needed these high power magnets. I was replacing something and I needed high power magnets. I literally ordered it in the morning being like, I'll get to it tomorrow. It got to my house that afternoon.

It makes other shipping look horrendous. You're like, Five to seven business days. I'm like, What is this, Lucy?

What are business days? Are you relapsing?

Where are you? Dude, I've seen an Amazon truck at 10:00 PM. What have you seen a UPS truck past.

3:00 PM? Doesn't exist.

They're out there working, hustling and busting on that Bezos buck.

On that Bezos buck?

Bezos just moved to Miami. Did he really? Yeah, him and Messi running it up.

How much did Messi get to go to Miami? What was that?

Something crazy, but I.

Just found this out. God bless him. When you're done over there, it's nice to come over here and.

Cash out. I think 150 mil or something.

60 million a year.

But he gets equity in the team.

Right. They gave him a piece of it.

Which is so much bigger than people realize. This is like a billion dollar deal, essentially. Good for that. Messi reached.

1.6 with-That's his career earnings with the Miami MLS deal. That's cool, though, that you can say good night over there gracefully, come over here and make some coin. I mean, what's his name was the first one to do that, right? Beckham was the first guy to come over and make some coin and then went back.

Then made a movie, Bennett like Beckham. Is that him?

That's not him. No, that's Amanda Bynes. Spitballing. I don't.

Know who that is. I saw Amanda Bynes in Toronto one time. She had a face tattoo.

It's a heart right here. I know. She slipped away a little bit, but I think she got sober, right? And she came back. I think she got it all together again. She was one of those childhood Disney stars who had an infinite amount of growth and room to become a movie star or whatever.

So much the Amanda show. I mean.

Holy shit. This just shows you sometimes fucking Hollywood will get you. Don't let it get you, baby. I'm not. Don't take.

That extra meeting. Hey, I've been here. Oh, what's that mean?

They'll say, they go, Trevor, there's an extra meeting. Don't go to an extra meeting.

Is that how you say you're sold to the devil?

I'm not going to talk.

About it right now. Have you done it? Was it easy process?

Do you need paperwork? Imagine if I just started levitating right now.

Believe it or not, Doja Cat sold to the devil. I'm like, How does that work?

It is funny. There are people that genuinely believe that there is a room in Hollywood as a thing that happens that is.

Ait's like in and seeing out.

I like it.

You started laughing. What happened? Do you know about it?

No, dude.

We'll be right back after the sponsor from Satan. Promo code 666.

I do like the, I sold to the devil. Where is it? I'll sign up.

Sounds.

Cool. What do you mean?

I would love to do that. Look, it's 2023. Can I have a three-month trial?

Yeah, let me get in and get out.

This is Spotify, baby. Let me get that premium.

It's a subscription service to sell your soul to the devil?

Yeah, check it out real quick.

I mean, who? Robert Johnson?

He's the first guy that sold his soul to the devil.

That's what they say. He sold his soul to The Devil.

What's the song? The Devil Went Down to Georgia. Is that him?

No. No, no, no. Different song? That was Charlie Daniel. You knew it quick. But Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil, apparently, and could play guitar better than anybody else. But prior to selling his soul, could never play a lick. Sold his soul and became one of the greatest guitars of all time. So they say. You know who else is like that? John Mayer. John Mayer didn't know how to play the guitar. Sold his soul to the devil. Now he's opening up fucking he's doing Dead in Company. There's a lot of guys I can name like this that sold their soul to the devil that didn't have any talent before.

Any of your comic friends you.

Know that sold their soul? Hell yeah, dude. So many. Theo.

Theo, I think he might be an investor.

Yeah.

I think he's got.

Rights down there. He's from Brazil. I know the southern thing that he does is such a good-Southern Brazil, yeah. Yeah, it's all a bit. I mean, there's a lot of guys that have done it. But then I can't wait for it to happen to you.

I think Theo and Hell is the funniest thing ever been like. Theo what? You know what?

I was a new guy from hell. I was the new guy from hell.

Yeah, dude.

I mean, give.

Me fucking.

Three to five and I'll try, dude.

You know, it's a.

Little warm, but. Make it.

Work, dude. I once knew a guy who was born in an air fryer, so this isn't too weird for me. I love Theo.

He's one of the greatest, dude. He's genuinely one of the greatest. Not just comics, but people. Great. I love him. His rise is appropriate. It, as is yours, genuinely.

Thank you, man. Are you and Theo in the same class? L. A. Class, you would say?

Yeah, a little bit. I mean, not really. When did you...

Yeah, who were some of the guys in your class?

Fahim Anwar is my oldest friend in comedy. I would say he's my literal class. Me, him, Rick Glassman all were brewing at the same time. Me, him, Rick Glassman, Brent Morin. That was my class of guys, so to speak. But a lot of my class was New York guys that I met, the Di Stefanos and Sam O'Rell and and Norman and we had all met at festivals and all that stuff. So as we all started to grow in our own cities, it was cool to watch them get up and me get up.

Were you doing standup in Chicago or just.

New York? No, I started out here. This is my first standup spot was here. In fact, I told that to the improv last night at the party. The improv was the first club that passed me.

Really?

First club that passed me. In fact, you know it's so fucking crazy? The interviewer said that he goes, Oh, that's fucking cool. I said, You know what? It's insane. I bet you. I still have the email. I have the email from- Can you read it or somebody else? No, Eric Abrams at the time was booking it. I have it right here. Look at this. 10/16, which is my birthday. You know how crazy that is? On my birthday, 2009, I still have the email. Hey, please see your set time down below.

What's the lineup on that?

This is great. I think I read this one other time. I was October 24th, 11:30. It was a show back then at the improv called Chunks and Punks. $10, I don't know if we got paid $10 or that was the ticket price was $10. But it says $10 bucks on it. It was a guy named Will C who hosted it. Then me, I had my first spot 10 minutes. I was first out the gate, top.

Yeah, but at 11:30, that's not bad.

They're already boozed up. 11:38, yeah, it's actually true. Saturday late show. Then it was Tony V, John Kelly, Alex Moore, Chris Neff, and the two names you'll probably recognize it, Ryan Sickler and Darren Carter.

Ryan.

Sickler and Darren Carter got the late, late spot, that 1228 and 1238. Now, one would say those guys were getting better spots, but also that late, that's tough. But look at this other than the pay breakdown. This is really funny. They sent me a PDF saying, Yeah, the hosts are going to get $35. Check this out. 10 to 14 minutes set, Sunday through Thursday gets $7.50..

Literally a gallon of gas.

That's crazy. $7.50, 15 minutes sets on Monday through Thursday, booked headline or gets $15. What? And if you got a Friday and Saturday, you get $25 check.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Here is my favorite, too. This is really great. Comic paychecks for performances of the Hollywood improv may be used as cash at the front bar. You were allowed to use.

Your check. You got the Dan Buster Bucks right there. That's what it was, dude. The funniest thing is, and I think this was-.

God, that's fucking wild. Yeah.

Flappers used to make you sign a contract that you were getting zero dollars. They used to make you sign a paper and be like, Hey, just let you know this is a free spot, but sign here.

Wait, really? Yeah.

I think if you're headlining, it's a different. But it used to be like if you were doing a five-minute sat on, you know how they booked 20 comics on it. Okay, you want to do this date here? Sign this to say you're in. And it was like a contract and it'd be like, the amount paid, zero, and you would sign it.

That's so fucking hilarious. That's so rude. Well, there's a bar here in the Valley called Residuals. And if you could bring a check of $0, a residual check for $0.0, you get a free drink. And they used to staple it to the ceiling. I don't know if it's still there. Are they still doing it? I don't know if they're still doing that. But you used to be able to give them a residual check. And if it was zero, zero- That's really funny. -you get some booze. And they used to keep the checks back in the day.

Do you get some from old ass shit? Like maybe punk or something that's like 0.03 cents?

Yeah. The funniest check I get is about two cents every six months for a show called Code Nine. It was a hidden camera Disney show. I got hired.

Hidden camera on Disney? Yeah. That sounds a little legal.

Yeah. I'm your real dad. It was nuts. It was code nine.

And when you get those, I mean, are you caching a three-second? Oh, it's on Prime.

It's on Prime. I love this show. I've watched it whenever you.

Watch Pterodactyl. Yeah. So are you caching that check?

No, it's a direct deposit into a thing.

Because I got a check recently for $10, and I don't have it in me to cash it. And I'm not even like, how muchI'm putting out money, $10.

But why don't you just direct deposit it from the day, direct deposit for you now.

This isn't residual. This is for.

A show. Oh, for a stand-up show. This is a.

Stand-up show. Here you go, man. To pull out my Chase app and find the right background.

To get it up- You could do it. I promise you can do it. God, but I don't want to. Would you have a producer or a guy that does the podcast with you guys? Yeah, make him do it then. That's him. I make him do all sorts.

Of crazy shit. Yeah, he doesn't have the top of.

His head. What is this here? This is Code 9 on Disney. Yeah, go down. Yeah, my good buddy, Mark Herwit. Golf and gas. I think that, yeah, Snow Globes surprise. That's the one I.

Get a check for. Was this before or after Punked?

Almost simultaneously. Oh, really? No, sorry, right after. Punked, I did 10 or 11. I don't remember what year it was.

Yeah, dude, we watched that on Flagon recently. Me and Michael were watching one with you and Blower in the same episode. It's crazy to look at it.

He got flown off from New York. I remember they're like, We're bringing this.

Kid from New York. Well, I remember he said he moved to L. A. After that, he was like, That was the show. And everyone in L. A. Is like, Dude, this guy's on fucking Earth. He was in New York at the time, I think.

Yeah, he was. Yeah, he moved to L.

A. Yeah, they were like, Dude, this guy is this big. This is a big thing.

It was a big deal to move on.

To that. There's no social media. Punked was.

The thing. Yeah, it was funny. That check I get three cents legitimately every six or seven months because they play it.

On Disney. On Prime, baby. Those are my people paying your bills.

Thank you. Honestly, I don't want to say thank you. Be careful how you talk to me. I want to say thank you so much, man. I hope Prime keeps paying your bills. I hope they give you 10 more specials and you explode and you get so big that we just don't talk. I hope you get so big that we just don't talk.

Please. I want to take up three spots in you guys' lot. I'm going to park just parallel and vertically at the same time. I don't know how to do it. I'm just going to be...

God blessed, dude. I hope you do. Your favorite dinosaur of all time? Pterodactyl. Go watch Pterodactyl right now on Amazon. And if you don't know how to spell pterodactyl, Trevor Wallace is an easier.

Way to get there. Yeah, the guys on Are You Garbage, both thought of starting with a T.

Yeah, have you met those guys? Kind of fucked up. Those are middle school dropouts. Shout out to Are You Garbage. Probably some of the funniest students I know. All right, Big Dog, we end the episode the same way. I love you. I really do appreciate you. You're a great dude, a very funny comedian and a sexy, sexy cat. I wish continued success as I see you as we go on because you are genuinely one of the good ones. We end the episode the same way. You look in that camera right there. You end the episode with one word or one phrase, and I'll say something before you say that. Please go watch Taradactyl on Amazon, support the comics so we can keep doing this thing. One word or one phrase into that camera whenever you're ready.

But Dussy.

In here, we pour whiskey.

Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. You were.

That creature in the Ginger Beard. Sturdy and ginger.

Like them.

As the.

Ginger Gene is accursed.

Ginger is a fugitive thing. You owe me.

Five dollars for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger is a hell no.

This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like ginges.