Hey, badfriendsbirth. Com.

We got new shirts. What are these shirts from? Look at little Baby Bobby on the cover of what was the Nervana album.

When I was a senior in high school, this album came out. It really influenced me.

I was in kindergarten. We love this album. This is an homage. It's a tip of the hat to- Never mind, Nervana. Also, we have posters. You don't have to buy just the shirt of this. You could buy the poster if you want to hang that in your wall. Hang it in your wall. Hang it in your wall. Hang it in your wall, right inside of your wall. Go to badfundsmerch. Com, badfundsmerch. Com. Hey, Bad Friends. I'm on tour in the fall, gearing up to shoot my hour. I'm going to be in Frank, California, Indianapolis, Charlotte, Waukey, Omaha, Kansas City, Cleveland, St. Louis, Grand Rapids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, and Minneapolis. Go to AndrewSantino. Com for those tickets. Andrewsantino. Com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

We A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. I wonder if there's nepotism in porn. Ron Jeremy's son has a small teeth in his head.

Let's not talk about Ron Jeremy. He's in prison. Is that how you want to start today?

John Holmes.

He's dead. Give me one alive porn star.

A male.

Yeah. Rocco Siffredi.

What? Rocco Siffredi. Who's that?

Rocco Siffredi? Yeah, this is the biggest one.

Italian. Or he's an Italian. That's a woman, dude.

Rocco Siffredi is an Italian pornographic actor. Wow. You know your male porn stars.

Yeah.

That was a Yeah, I get it.

I've seen him in movies.

He's so good. You've seen this guy, though. I've seen him.

Colson, have you seen that guy in porn?

I guess it's just his face, so it's hard to say.

Yeah, I have to see the dick.

That's funny. I only look at their face. When they go to Jack, I look away. There it is. Does that look familiar?

Yeah, I know. I'm not close. I know Colson. I know Colson.

I know Colson.

That's your dick?

It's got to be similar size. Yeah, that's got to be. That's 10 and a half is huge.

One time, back in the day when there was no internet, and you'd have to go to the... I lived in San Diego, so I had to go to the F Street Bookstore.

That was the porn Bookstore?

Yeah, and in the back, they have the videos, right? Yeah. Then one time, I was like, This is good. I was like, jerking off feverish. Because you also… I didn't have a lot of money, so there's a Timer.

You have to do it feverish. You're racing against the clock? Right.

Then there was like, When this guy was from behind a girl, and I was doing feverish, and then they panned out with two dudes. Then right when I saw it was two dudes, I nutded.

It's a little too late.

Anyway.

You want to introduce our guests?

Yeah, start new.

Yes.

Introduce our guests. Do I realize… Are you Slunder Man? Anyone that's moving on? He's been a Slunder Man-y. You know what I mean? Anyway. Anyway, I know you. You saved my friend's life, by the way.

That's right.Oh.

That was quite the ride.That.

Was the wildest...

I have a gift for you, by the way. I've never seen someone passed out for so long in my life.Oh, wow.I.

Brought back your sweater.

I told you... Okay, I'll take it.

I thought that was a I thought it's a give and it's a get. We have a sweater for you. Ryan, come give him one of ours.

Does it have your puke on it? Yeah.

Puke and piss.

We got Kholson, Mgk. Mgk, give him our-Mgk is in the house today. Give him our applause. Mgk, Kholson, from your point of view, tell me the story, what you saw that. Andrew was... Okay, go ahead.

It was just... He was so normal. This is what I talked about after you in the bathroom with Megan. I was like, But he was so coherent, right? How did... Was Did you hear anything I said? We had a 40-minute talk before the plane took off.

I did. The whole time, I was thinking-I'm about to puke. I'm about to throw up, so I hope I don't throw up in the middle of this conversation. In my mind, I thought, I'm going to be talking to him, and I'm She's going to look over at Megan. She's going to smile, and I'm going to throw up all over her. That was my biggest fear. If I puked on you, I thought, Fine. Sure. Homies, fine. No big deal. Then the whole time, I was like, Man, I'm not feeling good. But it wasn't like a communicable sick. I just felt wrong.

By the way, after that-It was just one of the most… For someone who I just met for the first time, I asked you an absurd amount of questions, too. Yeah, you did.

Were you a fan of… You knew who Andrew was. For sure.

I've watched the show, but it was It was such an overloaded with questions, conversation that I normally wouldn't even be hitting people with. The fact that I chose the most…

It's so sick. Dude, for four days after that, I had a gastrointestinal bug. I lost nine pounds. What was it? Nine pounds? I was on the toilet for four days straight. I went to the hospital twice.

That's the first time I ever had to help someone get an oxygen tank out of the secret compartment in an airplane.

I ripped through three of them, dude.

She couldn't reach it. I just became involved at that point. It was wild.

What a good dude. Because if I saw him, even we have a pocket, I wouldn't ignore him. I would have been like, I don't know him.

Is that a good bit?

Part of it was also...

Is that a good bit? Yeah, it's a good bit. Yeah, it's not. It's not a good bit? You'd be so concerned for me.

I don't think so, dude.

He was talking to me. Then he came to the bathroom and he was like, Are you okay? Are you okay, dog? Is that a good... I was like, I don't think so. But I also was like, I don't want you here right now because I was so embarrassed already. I was like, Man, of all people, why did he have to be on the flight?

The funny thing was-But it was good. There was a lady in the back whose only concern was that she had to use the coach bathroom, that you were blocking up the only first-class bathroom. Really? There was a lady that was back there. That piece of garbage. She was like, Is that your friend? I mean, how long do you think? Because he's in the only bathroom I can use. I'm like, Oh, there's a bathroom back there. She was like, I paid for these seats.

Oh, damn. That's a bad human being.

That's a bad human being. You can't go to the back. That would have been me. Yeah, that's it, I'm sure.

By the way, I would have just sat next to the toilet and be like, Go ahead, just go right next to me.

Now, you would let me, right?100%.Yeah..

No, they gave me Narcan and everything.

You also gave him your sweatshirt?

Yeah. When I walked up to the bathroom, he looked at me and was like, Oh, dog. It was just puke everywhere.Oh, my God.It's Bro, yeah, I just-Why are you laughing at your boss?

Don't do that. It's not at him.

Strike one, man.

That's strike one. Keep it up. Yeah.

No, he offered me a sweater, which was so nice. I literally said... Because I took off my sweater, and then he goes, Do you want my sweater? I was like, No, dude, I have piss and puke all over me. And he goes, Dude, I don't give a shit. And that's when I fell in love. Bro. Piss and puke all. I was like, he didn't care at all.

Bro, not only you look like Slender Man, but also, you have a… Probably, I've never seen your genitals, but probably great. Huge. You're a very talented musician. But now we know that you're a good human being. Oh, man. And so it just puts flutterly butterflies in my mind. Give him a round of applause. It's so great. You have a raid. I have three rates at home.

You guys have a I'm doing a Chinese cat. I was just shooting a video with the... I just did this arm pump, and then I was just like, man, that's what I'm doing, the Chinese cat.

I thought you pointed me and called me a Chinese cat.

Yeah, he did.

You are my Chinese cat. What?

Yeah.

The Japanese cat, I don't want to.

No, it's okay, Colson. I call them Chin-Chong cats, too.Chat cats.Yeah. First of all, what's the obsession with cats with Asia?

Well, I mean, you're not going to mortalize dogs because you're not going to frame food. What is the obsession? Why is it the cat?

What is the obsession with it?

It's funny because we've had this since we started the show. This was on our desk when we started the show four years ago, and it's never left for some reason.

It's been-Well, I went to an island in Japan where the whole island was only cat I think that's super lame.What do you mean? People pass out when they do it?No, when people get put under to get the tattoos.Oh, that's a thing? I don't know about that.No, those are for weaklings.I just think part of the culture is to earn it.Dude, I earned my champagne.Yeah, so I think it'd be sick. Depending on how you do it.What if I did the face? Would that be blackface?That would be a very bad, bad decision.Well, if you did, it'd be breckface. It would be...Oh, my God. I can't do breckface?No breckface, for real, buddy. No way.But I mean, would be because if you can tattoo the arm. Why can't you do the whole face? That's black arm. I can't do Brackface. Brack.Yeah, I think it's just this. All right. Anything above that.What do I have?Yeah, be half Brak.Half Brak, Brahma. Yeah, anyway. What are you doing, dude?He's rolling up some. I have really bad anxiety.You do? Really bad. You want to smoke a weed?Public.Speaking anxiety, so I just have to do something with my hands. I'm just rolling a cigarette. Oh, really?I like it. I have pre-rolled. You don't like these?I like those.Yeah. The yellow box. Why does yours have trees I have flowers on them.Because I special order them from American spirit. I don't do standard. Cool.I want fancy fuck.He's got to stand out. He likes the nicest version of the nicest thing. Needs to have it.I need the nicest one.Have you ever thought, nothing on the face, though? You won't do it.I don't think so. I have stuff on my picture. And I got to ask you, are Are you doing an eye thing on purpose on this thing? Is this a thing you were doing the whole time? You're doing wide eye on this. This is round eye shit. Go to the first one. That's round eye shit the whole time.But why does the left eye go in the opposite direction? Go the fourth one. You see what I'm talking about?I see what you guys are doing. You're saying that Asian is a cross-eye? No. No. Clip that, dude. Asian is a cross-eye?Well, you might be. Yeah. Go big. All right. Let me see your eyes. Stop, stop, stop. Let me see your eyes, Open them up. Yeah, they go cross-side when you do that. Look at your left one, your left one leans in.I think what you're seeing, both of you. I also knew this was going to happen. I knew this was going to team up. I love it. No, no, no. I love it. No, no, no. Next time, I'll get Steven, you and some of my guys. All right. You want me to bring my boys in? I'll bring my boys in, right? Yeah. Benedict Wong. I'll bring him on.He would never come on the show.I think he would. To be fair, I have a big ass left ear. If we're talking about things left. Yeah, there we go, dude. Look at your ears, dude.My left ear. You're like half Dumbo, half fucking Slender Man.A hundred %. I'm already on the same page. All right, dude.Let's talk about you, dude. Left falters, for sure. My point is this. Also, I'm scared. Yeah, you're doing a great job. I'm so young, right? When Kerb first started. Yeah. It's like, maybe that's what you're reading. But anyway, let's move on from it. I was just kidding. I was just fine. I want you to get your props. You're more talented and more Hollywood. No, no. Come on. I like you, dude.You're my guy. I'm certainly not more Hollywood. You might be the most Hollywood guy out of us. I don't think so. You're getting all sorts of work now, dude.Yeah, you did. Anyway, let's just talk about something else, man. What the fuck, man? Don't get nervous about it. Do you like Jelly Jelly?This?No, jelly. What is it?Jelly roll.I thought you might pick this. This is peanut butter and jelly.No, what is that?Trader Joe's snacks.Panet.Butter and jelly. Really?Yeah. You You already ate it?No, it's probably the best. I brought this just in case I got too nervous. Yeah, those are...Can I have one?I want to try one. Have you never had one of those?They're phenomenal. You know this? Oh my God. That's the best thing I've ever had in my life.Trader Joe's, baby. Okay. They're undefeated. Dip in, dude.You don't want more jelly? Okay.Yeah.Isn't that insane? Oh my God, those are good. It's so good.Tj's has by far the best snacks on planet Earth. My daughter got...My friend Ray got me hip to these, but my daughter is a A huge TJ snack person.They have the best snacks. I actually don't buy meals there as much as I buy bullshit. I buy snacks.If your daughter got, Daddy.My daughter has grown. She's 14.Yeah, but let's just suppose. She's like, Yeah. Yeah. All right? Daddy. Good morning, Daddy.Now she's Asian.All right, let me wind it up. No, no, no. My daughter's black, but Oh, really? Yeah.All right. Oh, yeah. Do that one, Bob.I'm going to go with my original, right?Yeah. Okay, go back to the original.Daddy, how are you today? How are you today? How are you feeling today, Daddy? Good?And then what's the question?Daddy, is it okay that I smoke weed in the house? What do you say?You're an infant and you shouldn't be smoking weed. What?Okay, good. I don't know because I think I would be the guy like, just do it in the house. I'm one of those guys.You're saying if your daughter was 14, if your kid was 14.If my kid was 14, I'd be like, Yeah, just don't do it outside. I'll get you to stop. Do it in a controlled environment.When does that talk happen?Yeah, that happened. Yeah? Yeah.Daddy, can I get tattoos like you?Oh, yeah. What's a tattoo? What's that? What's that?What's that, Ktaq?That one happened when she was really young. She wanted to get tattoos.And you said what?When you're But I also, I just don't want to limit her creativity in any way. God, he just gets the best. It really is. Yeah, as far as weed goes, a lot of this stuff, she grew up just seeing… I didn't really hide who I was to her. I also never really wanted to because I didn't want that. I didn't want that from another person to lure her, the person of being The perception of, Oh, I want what I'm not supposed to have. It's almost like very just… She could never be impressed by someone being like, I got cars and weed. She's very comfortable in her own skin and a very strong, independent woman who is like, I come from a father who gives me flowers and tells me how beautiful I am and is very open about his lifestyle to where that doesn't impress me. I need someone who's going to court me and all that.She needs genuine... None of the bullshit can impress her because you've not tried to pretend like that's not a reality. For sure.But I would assume she's going to want to smoke weed at some point. I'd rather get her the weed and it be not laced and shitty from some sketchy person.Because the other side of it is, otherwise, you're so restrictive. Bobby was an addict when he was 12, was smoking meth at 14, 15.Don't move on.No, that's a real story. You were smoking meth at 15 years old. It was because you had a crazy upbringing.Well, I just didn't know how to feel good.Right.That was the only way I could feel good and sooth.You escaped by using drugs.But that's not the situation.No, I'm saying that this is what he's avoiding.Yeah, but he already did it. You can already tell. She's mindful and healthy.I think the phrase that you said that's powerful is, I didn't hide who I was to her, hide my lifestyle. I think you have to be transparent as a parent. I think so. Because otherwise, they're going to find out. Yeah.And also, it hit me at a certain age, when I really needed to mature as an individual, when she started seeing... She has the Internet, too. She started seeing me in ways that I'm like, Oh, I'm not proud of that as a father. It's different when they're little. I had a baby when I was 19, and that was before I was ever famous. I was working job. She was very young. It didn't hit until she was able to emit that she was disappointed in me. I as a father who views her as my best friend and someone who… Probably the only person I really care to impress, I wasn't proud of a lot of the ways I was representing myself. I'd say probably when I was 30 is when I really got my… That's also your Saturn return. As far as astrological things go, that's a very powerful year. Your Saturn return is when you're 30. That's a very powerful year for everybody. It's a karmic-Even for me?For.Sure.for you, it's 60.30.Is a very powerful It's a powerful number. Yeah, and that year is everyone's Saturn return.That's your karmic-I didn't know that when I was 30, though.Yeah, but that's fine. But regardless, your karmic purpose started setting in. I forgot. You can either choose to take advantage or I did take advantage. I'm sure you did. I didn't even know. You seemed great.Yeah, it was fine.I will say- You're not on mef.Well-that's true.Yeah, not anymore.That is true. I'm not anymore. Yeah, you're right.I will say-Yeah, go ahead.But I think That's one of the reasons why I haven't had a kid because of the shit that I've done. Oh, my God. I would have to go, no internet until you're 18.It's hard, man. It's hard, yeah. I accept it, and I also... I'm weighed down by it a lot, and plenty of people on the internet choose to remind me all the time. But it's also my job as a leader of or one of the leading voices of a generation who also can relate to being misjudged by things they did when they were younger or maybe needing someone to show them how to mature. I, at least, I looked at the people on TV or in music as my parents. That was like, those were the people. It's like when Jordan took the Nike and was like, this shoe was cool. People are like, yeah, we are what we embed ourselves in. To me, frequency music was always in here. I was trusting these people as my leaders. I don't do a great job with that all the time with my lyrics, but as I grow, I'll continue to do so. I'll continue to try and take my job as a fuck up who is no longer that.But people know, I think more than ever, there is always a separation between the art and the artist. I think people are more cognizant of that in this day and age than we've ever been. I think because-We should be, you and I.We're not doing any of that.No, dude.I'll tell you what. We have to change our thing, dude.No, we're feeding garbage to the people.We have no message.I'm telling you, the rawness of what you guys do, I was telling him this on the plane when he was completely incoherent about to puke on my face. It's so important what you guys do. The unfiltered, just taking the pendulum and swinging it the complete opposite way of what it just was the past five years of just where everyone's so scared to be funny or say anything at the fear of people being like, I'm going to come for your platform and take it away.We keep doing it.I think we had to. I I think we have to because for us, it was the thing that made us laugh the most. I think with audiences, going back to what I just said, people know what we're saying when we're fucking around. Clearly, it's coming from a place of love and heart. We shit on each other. It's all for the art of the fun of the thing.I also don't know how else to do it.Yeah, we don't.You could say, that's why I don't do certain shows, even if they ask, I go, that's not... That's not for me. When I did Chelsea lately, I struggled every show. I don't care. People even said, Why? You struggled. Because it's not my thing. It was never my thing. But I tried to fit into that format, and it came out weird. It didn't work. It didn't work. This is my format. You know what I mean? This is why it works.What you guys do is important. Like laughing saves our lives. God, I never think of that. It's a grim world. And so to make us laugh is very important. And I'm very appreciative of what you guys are doing.Oh, my God. I'm appreciative of you. Take me back, by the way. Take me back to your 18 or 19, and you have a kid. Are you feeling like you're fucked? Did it feel like that, or was it hope? Yeah.It was scared. Me and my friend Slim, we were sharing in a single bedroom apartment. We were in Cleveland. I was working at Chipotle. I gave up my job because I very good. Well, what about this then?Because you realized that you've heard my feelings. I'm sorry.Good, good, good.Really good? Keep going. Go, go, go, go, go.Okay.You want to leave?Take it back. Let's take it back. I take back what you're... I What was I saying? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Good?Good.I forgive you. Okay, see, dude. Can I propose one little thing? Instead of... There'll be a thousand red pandas. Can you just multiply my body?Sure. We'll do Oompa Loopa, Johnny Depp, Wanka, Willy Wanka. We'll do that with you, with the red panda. It'll be all the red pandas will be you.Okay, guys, that's all I want. You can do that with technology.Do we have a deal?We have a deal.Yeah.do we have a deal?That was great. That was really good.But machines, if we don't do it, dude, bro, we're going to have a fucking problem in the next two years. This has got to happen.So you're threatening him?Yeah, maybe a little bit. Always a good move.Yeah, I'm sorry. Always a good move. You know what I mean?But it's like, I would love to work with you. That's all.Is the rest of the show just going to look like I'm crying? No, you're good.Actually, your face looks a lot better. You're still a little red in the eyes. Let me see. Go like this. Be you on Kerb from the fifth season.Pretty good? Yeah, it looks really good. Can you cry on command?We've done this. Oh, we already did. I did that on Schultz's show. Oh, yeah. You already did that. I've done it on Schultz's show. All right.I found my lighter.It's right here. Bob, another one? One more. You want to thank our guests for coming?Dude, be real. I'm being real. Fuck you, dude. I'm really real. I feel like... I'll probably never get your number, but...Yeah, don't do that.Yeah, which is fine. But I feel like, and this is the honest truth, I I didn't know much. I knew who you were, you know who you were, but I didn't know you. I feel like I know you a lot more. I respect you.Thanks.Man.i.Like you a lot.Thank you. And I think you're a good dude. I think you're also intuitive. I think that you're mindful, and I think that you're going in the right places.Thank.You.i.Appreciate you for doing our program. And hopefully, in the Red Pan, we don't have to do it. I'm being real. If that doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. And I won't take offense. I get it. I've done other people.I've done M&M's video.Careful.I have.I've been in other videos.That's not the move. It's a threat.Wow.Yeah.It's a threat.But anyway, my point being is-Oh, you're saying if he I didn't do that.Yeah, I'm just saying I've been there, done that.That's all.That's all. But my point is, honestly, dude, I love you, dude. And thank you so much for doing it, man.Thank.You.i really appreciate it.Thank you, guys.We appreciate you very much. Thank you for saving my life. I hope we see you again. I want to thank you for being a bad friend.Thank you so much, guys. Thank you. This is awesome.. It's awesome..

I think that's super lame.

What do you mean? People pass out when they do it?

No, when people get put under to get the tattoos.

Oh, that's a thing? I don't know about that.

No, those are for weaklings.

I just think part of the culture is to earn it.

Dude, I earned my champagne.

Yeah, so I think it'd be sick. Depending on how you do it.

What if I did the face? Would that be blackface?

That would be a very bad, bad decision.

Well, if you did, it'd be breckface. It would be...

Oh, my God. I can't do breckface?

No breckface, for real, buddy. No way.

But I mean, would be because if you can tattoo the arm. Why can't you do the whole face? That's black arm. I can't do Brackface. Brack.

Yeah, I think it's just this. All right. Anything above that.

What do I have?

Yeah, be half Brak.

Half Brak, Brahma. Yeah, anyway. What are you doing, dude?

He's rolling up some. I have really bad anxiety.

You do? Really bad. You want to smoke a weed?Public.

Speaking anxiety, so I just have to do something with my hands. I'm just rolling a cigarette. Oh, really?

I like it. I have pre-rolled. You don't like these?

I like those.Yeah. The yellow box. Why does yours have trees I have flowers on them.

Because I special order them from American spirit. I don't do standard. Cool.

I want fancy fuck.He's got to stand out. He likes the nicest version of the nicest thing. Needs to have it.

I need the nicest one.

Have you ever thought, nothing on the face, though? You won't do it.

I don't think so. I have stuff on my picture. And I got to ask you, are Are you doing an eye thing on purpose on this thing? Is this a thing you were doing the whole time? You're doing wide eye on this. This is round eye shit. Go to the first one. That's round eye shit the whole time.But why does the left eye go in the opposite direction? Go the fourth one. You see what I'm talking about?I see what you guys are doing. You're saying that Asian is a cross-eye? No. No. Clip that, dude. Asian is a cross-eye?Well, you might be. Yeah. Go big. All right. Let me see your eyes. Stop, stop, stop. Let me see your eyes, Open them up. Yeah, they go cross-side when you do that. Look at your left one, your left one leans in.I think what you're seeing, both of you. I also knew this was going to happen. I knew this was going to team up. I love it. No, no, no. I love it. No, no, no. Next time, I'll get Steven, you and some of my guys. All right. You want me to bring my boys in? I'll bring my boys in, right? Yeah. Benedict Wong. I'll bring him on.He would never come on the show.I think he would. To be fair, I have a big ass left ear. If we're talking about things left. Yeah, there we go, dude. Look at your ears, dude.My left ear. You're like half Dumbo, half fucking Slender Man.A hundred %. I'm already on the same page. All right, dude.Let's talk about you, dude. Left falters, for sure. My point is this. Also, I'm scared. Yeah, you're doing a great job. I'm so young, right? When Kerb first started. Yeah. It's like, maybe that's what you're reading. But anyway, let's move on from it. I was just kidding. I was just fine. I want you to get your props. You're more talented and more Hollywood. No, no. Come on. I like you, dude.You're my guy. I'm certainly not more Hollywood. You might be the most Hollywood guy out of us. I don't think so. You're getting all sorts of work now, dude.Yeah, you did. Anyway, let's just talk about something else, man. What the fuck, man? Don't get nervous about it. Do you like Jelly Jelly?This?No, jelly. What is it?Jelly roll.I thought you might pick this. This is peanut butter and jelly.No, what is that?Trader Joe's snacks.Panet.Butter and jelly. Really?Yeah. You You already ate it?No, it's probably the best. I brought this just in case I got too nervous. Yeah, those are...Can I have one?I want to try one. Have you never had one of those?They're phenomenal. You know this? Oh my God. That's the best thing I've ever had in my life.Trader Joe's, baby. Okay. They're undefeated. Dip in, dude.You don't want more jelly? Okay.Yeah.Isn't that insane? Oh my God, those are good. It's so good.Tj's has by far the best snacks on planet Earth. My daughter got...My friend Ray got me hip to these, but my daughter is a A huge TJ snack person.They have the best snacks. I actually don't buy meals there as much as I buy bullshit. I buy snacks.If your daughter got, Daddy.My daughter has grown. She's 14.Yeah, but let's just suppose. She's like, Yeah. Yeah. All right? Daddy. Good morning, Daddy.Now she's Asian.All right, let me wind it up. No, no, no. My daughter's black, but Oh, really? Yeah.All right. Oh, yeah. Do that one, Bob.I'm going to go with my original, right?Yeah. Okay, go back to the original.Daddy, how are you today? How are you today? How are you feeling today, Daddy? Good?And then what's the question?Daddy, is it okay that I smoke weed in the house? What do you say?You're an infant and you shouldn't be smoking weed. What?Okay, good. I don't know because I think I would be the guy like, just do it in the house. I'm one of those guys.You're saying if your daughter was 14, if your kid was 14.If my kid was 14, I'd be like, Yeah, just don't do it outside. I'll get you to stop. Do it in a controlled environment.When does that talk happen?Yeah, that happened. Yeah? Yeah.Daddy, can I get tattoos like you?Oh, yeah. What's a tattoo? What's that? What's that?What's that, Ktaq?That one happened when she was really young. She wanted to get tattoos.And you said what?When you're But I also, I just don't want to limit her creativity in any way. God, he just gets the best. It really is. Yeah, as far as weed goes, a lot of this stuff, she grew up just seeing… I didn't really hide who I was to her. I also never really wanted to because I didn't want that. I didn't want that from another person to lure her, the person of being The perception of, Oh, I want what I'm not supposed to have. It's almost like very just… She could never be impressed by someone being like, I got cars and weed. She's very comfortable in her own skin and a very strong, independent woman who is like, I come from a father who gives me flowers and tells me how beautiful I am and is very open about his lifestyle to where that doesn't impress me. I need someone who's going to court me and all that.She needs genuine... None of the bullshit can impress her because you've not tried to pretend like that's not a reality. For sure.But I would assume she's going to want to smoke weed at some point. I'd rather get her the weed and it be not laced and shitty from some sketchy person.Because the other side of it is, otherwise, you're so restrictive. Bobby was an addict when he was 12, was smoking meth at 14, 15.Don't move on.No, that's a real story. You were smoking meth at 15 years old. It was because you had a crazy upbringing.Well, I just didn't know how to feel good.Right.That was the only way I could feel good and sooth.You escaped by using drugs.But that's not the situation.No, I'm saying that this is what he's avoiding.Yeah, but he already did it. You can already tell. She's mindful and healthy.I think the phrase that you said that's powerful is, I didn't hide who I was to her, hide my lifestyle. I think you have to be transparent as a parent. I think so. Because otherwise, they're going to find out. Yeah.And also, it hit me at a certain age, when I really needed to mature as an individual, when she started seeing... She has the Internet, too. She started seeing me in ways that I'm like, Oh, I'm not proud of that as a father. It's different when they're little. I had a baby when I was 19, and that was before I was ever famous. I was working job. She was very young. It didn't hit until she was able to emit that she was disappointed in me. I as a father who views her as my best friend and someone who… Probably the only person I really care to impress, I wasn't proud of a lot of the ways I was representing myself. I'd say probably when I was 30 is when I really got my… That's also your Saturn return. As far as astrological things go, that's a very powerful year. Your Saturn return is when you're 30. That's a very powerful year for everybody. It's a karmic-Even for me?For.Sure.for you, it's 60.30.Is a very powerful It's a powerful number. Yeah, and that year is everyone's Saturn return.That's your karmic-I didn't know that when I was 30, though.Yeah, but that's fine. But regardless, your karmic purpose started setting in. I forgot. You can either choose to take advantage or I did take advantage. I'm sure you did. I didn't even know. You seemed great.Yeah, it was fine.I will say- You're not on mef.Well-that's true.Yeah, not anymore.That is true. I'm not anymore. Yeah, you're right.I will say-Yeah, go ahead.But I think That's one of the reasons why I haven't had a kid because of the shit that I've done. Oh, my God. I would have to go, no internet until you're 18.It's hard, man. It's hard, yeah. I accept it, and I also... I'm weighed down by it a lot, and plenty of people on the internet choose to remind me all the time. But it's also my job as a leader of or one of the leading voices of a generation who also can relate to being misjudged by things they did when they were younger or maybe needing someone to show them how to mature. I, at least, I looked at the people on TV or in music as my parents. That was like, those were the people. It's like when Jordan took the Nike and was like, this shoe was cool. People are like, yeah, we are what we embed ourselves in. To me, frequency music was always in here. I was trusting these people as my leaders. I don't do a great job with that all the time with my lyrics, but as I grow, I'll continue to do so. I'll continue to try and take my job as a fuck up who is no longer that.But people know, I think more than ever, there is always a separation between the art and the artist. I think people are more cognizant of that in this day and age than we've ever been. I think because-We should be, you and I.We're not doing any of that.No, dude.I'll tell you what. We have to change our thing, dude.No, we're feeding garbage to the people.We have no message.I'm telling you, the rawness of what you guys do, I was telling him this on the plane when he was completely incoherent about to puke on my face. It's so important what you guys do. The unfiltered, just taking the pendulum and swinging it the complete opposite way of what it just was the past five years of just where everyone's so scared to be funny or say anything at the fear of people being like, I'm going to come for your platform and take it away.We keep doing it.I think we had to. I I think we have to because for us, it was the thing that made us laugh the most. I think with audiences, going back to what I just said, people know what we're saying when we're fucking around. Clearly, it's coming from a place of love and heart. We shit on each other. It's all for the art of the fun of the thing.I also don't know how else to do it.Yeah, we don't.You could say, that's why I don't do certain shows, even if they ask, I go, that's not... That's not for me. When I did Chelsea lately, I struggled every show. I don't care. People even said, Why? You struggled. Because it's not my thing. It was never my thing. But I tried to fit into that format, and it came out weird. It didn't work. It didn't work. This is my format. You know what I mean? This is why it works.What you guys do is important. Like laughing saves our lives. God, I never think of that. It's a grim world. And so to make us laugh is very important. And I'm very appreciative of what you guys are doing.Oh, my God. I'm appreciative of you. Take me back, by the way. Take me back to your 18 or 19, and you have a kid. Are you feeling like you're fucked? Did it feel like that, or was it hope? Yeah.It was scared. Me and my friend Slim, we were sharing in a single bedroom apartment. We were in Cleveland. I was working at Chipotle. I gave up my job because I very good. Well, what about this then?Because you realized that you've heard my feelings. I'm sorry.Good, good, good.Really good? Keep going. Go, go, go, go, go.Okay.You want to leave?Take it back. Let's take it back. I take back what you're... I What was I saying? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Good?Good.I forgive you. Okay, see, dude. Can I propose one little thing? Instead of... There'll be a thousand red pandas. Can you just multiply my body?Sure. We'll do Oompa Loopa, Johnny Depp, Wanka, Willy Wanka. We'll do that with you, with the red panda. It'll be all the red pandas will be you.Okay, guys, that's all I want. You can do that with technology.Do we have a deal?We have a deal.Yeah.do we have a deal?That was great. That was really good.But machines, if we don't do it, dude, bro, we're going to have a fucking problem in the next two years. This has got to happen.So you're threatening him?Yeah, maybe a little bit. Always a good move.Yeah, I'm sorry. Always a good move. You know what I mean?But it's like, I would love to work with you. That's all.Is the rest of the show just going to look like I'm crying? No, you're good.Actually, your face looks a lot better. You're still a little red in the eyes. Let me see. Go like this. Be you on Kerb from the fifth season.Pretty good? Yeah, it looks really good. Can you cry on command?We've done this. Oh, we already did. I did that on Schultz's show. Oh, yeah. You already did that. I've done it on Schultz's show. All right.I found my lighter.It's right here. Bob, another one? One more. You want to thank our guests for coming?Dude, be real. I'm being real. Fuck you, dude. I'm really real. I feel like... I'll probably never get your number, but...Yeah, don't do that.Yeah, which is fine. But I feel like, and this is the honest truth, I I didn't know much. I knew who you were, you know who you were, but I didn't know you. I feel like I know you a lot more. I respect you.Thanks.Man.i.Like you a lot.Thank you. And I think you're a good dude. I think you're also intuitive. I think that you're mindful, and I think that you're going in the right places.Thank.You.i.Appreciate you for doing our program. And hopefully, in the Red Pan, we don't have to do it. I'm being real. If that doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. And I won't take offense. I get it. I've done other people.I've done M&M's video.Careful.I have.I've been in other videos.That's not the move. It's a threat.Wow.Yeah.It's a threat.But anyway, my point being is-Oh, you're saying if he I didn't do that.Yeah, I'm just saying I've been there, done that.That's all.That's all. But my point is, honestly, dude, I love you, dude. And thank you so much for doing it, man.Thank.You.i really appreciate it.Thank you, guys.We appreciate you very much. Thank you for saving my life. I hope we see you again. I want to thank you for being a bad friend.Thank you so much, guys. Thank you. This is awesome.. It's awesome..

picture. And I got to ask you, are Are you doing an eye thing on purpose on this thing? Is this a thing you were doing the whole time? You're doing wide eye on this. This is round eye shit. Go to the first one. That's round eye shit the whole time.

But why does the left eye go in the opposite direction? Go the fourth one. You see what I'm talking about?

I see what you guys are doing. You're saying that Asian is a cross-eye? No. No. Clip that, dude. Asian is a cross-eye?

Well, you might be. Yeah. Go big. All right. Let me see your eyes. Stop, stop, stop. Let me see your eyes, Open them up. Yeah, they go cross-side when you do that. Look at your left one, your left one leans in.

I think what you're seeing, both of you. I also knew this was going to happen. I knew this was going to team up. I love it. No, no, no. I love it. No, no, no. Next time, I'll get Steven, you and some of my guys. All right. You want me to bring my boys in? I'll bring my boys in, right? Yeah. Benedict Wong. I'll bring him on.

He would never come on the show.

I think he would. To be fair, I have a big ass left ear. If we're talking about things left. Yeah, there we go, dude. Look at your ears, dude.

My left ear. You're like half Dumbo, half fucking Slender Man.

A hundred %. I'm already on the same page. All right, dude.

Let's talk about you, dude. Left falters, for sure. My point is this. Also, I'm scared. Yeah, you're doing a great job. I'm so young, right? When Kerb first started. Yeah. It's like, maybe that's what you're reading. But anyway, let's move on from it. I was just kidding. I was just fine. I want you to get your props. You're more talented and more Hollywood. No, no. Come on. I like you, dude.

You're my guy. I'm certainly not more Hollywood. You might be the most Hollywood guy out of us. I don't think so. You're getting all sorts of work now, dude.

Yeah, you did. Anyway, let's just talk about something else, man. What the fuck, man? Don't get nervous about it. Do you like Jelly Jelly?

This?

No, jelly. What is it?Jelly roll.

I thought you might pick this. This is peanut butter and jelly.

No, what is that?

Trader Joe's snacks.Panet.

Butter and jelly. Really?

Yeah. You You already ate it?

No, it's probably the best. I brought this just in case I got too nervous. Yeah, those are...

Can I have one?

I want to try one. Have you never had one of those?

They're phenomenal. You know this? Oh my God. That's the best thing I've ever had in my life.

Trader Joe's, baby. Okay. They're undefeated. Dip in, dude.

You don't want more jelly? Okay.

Yeah.

Isn't that insane? Oh my God, those are good. It's so good.

Tj's has by far the best snacks on planet Earth. My daughter got...

My friend Ray got me hip to these, but my daughter is a A huge TJ snack person.

They have the best snacks. I actually don't buy meals there as much as I buy bullshit. I buy snacks.

If your daughter got, Daddy.

My daughter has grown. She's 14.

Yeah, but let's just suppose. She's like, Yeah. Yeah. All right? Daddy. Good morning, Daddy.

Now she's Asian.

All right, let me wind it up. No, no, no. My daughter's black, but Oh, really? Yeah.

All right. Oh, yeah. Do that one, Bob.

I'm going to go with my original, right?

Yeah. Okay, go back to the original.

Daddy, how are you today? How are you today? How are you feeling today, Daddy? Good?

And then what's the question?

Daddy, is it okay that I smoke weed in the house? What do you say?

You're an infant and you shouldn't be smoking weed. What?

Okay, good. I don't know because I think I would be the guy like, just do it in the house. I'm one of those guys.

You're saying if your daughter was 14, if your kid was 14.

If my kid was 14, I'd be like, Yeah, just don't do it outside. I'll get you to stop. Do it in a controlled environment.

When does that talk happen?

Yeah, that happened. Yeah? Yeah.

Daddy, can I get tattoos like you?

Oh, yeah. What's a tattoo? What's that? What's that?

What's that, Ktaq?

That one happened when she was really young. She wanted to get tattoos.

And you said what?

When you're But I also, I just don't want to limit her creativity in any way. God, he just gets the best. It really is. Yeah, as far as weed goes, a lot of this stuff, she grew up just seeing… I didn't really hide who I was to her. I also never really wanted to because I didn't want that. I didn't want that from another person to lure her, the person of being The perception of, Oh, I want what I'm not supposed to have. It's almost like very just… She could never be impressed by someone being like, I got cars and weed. She's very comfortable in her own skin and a very strong, independent woman who is like, I come from a father who gives me flowers and tells me how beautiful I am and is very open about his lifestyle to where that doesn't impress me. I need someone who's going to court me and all that.

She needs genuine... None of the bullshit can impress her because you've not tried to pretend like that's not a reality. For sure.

But I would assume she's going to want to smoke weed at some point. I'd rather get her the weed and it be not laced and shitty from some sketchy person.

Because the other side of it is, otherwise, you're so restrictive. Bobby was an addict when he was 12, was smoking meth at 14, 15.

Don't move on.

No, that's a real story. You were smoking meth at 15 years old. It was because you had a crazy upbringing.

Well, I just didn't know how to feel good.

Right.

That was the only way I could feel good and sooth.

You escaped by using drugs.

But that's not the situation.

No, I'm saying that this is what he's avoiding.

Yeah, but he already did it. You can already tell. She's mindful and healthy.

I think the phrase that you said that's powerful is, I didn't hide who I was to her, hide my lifestyle. I think you have to be transparent as a parent. I think so. Because otherwise, they're going to find out. Yeah.

And also, it hit me at a certain age, when I really needed to mature as an individual, when she started seeing... She has the Internet, too. She started seeing me in ways that I'm like, Oh, I'm not proud of that as a father. It's different when they're little. I had a baby when I was 19, and that was before I was ever famous. I was working job. She was very young. It didn't hit until she was able to emit that she was disappointed in me. I as a father who views her as my best friend and someone who… Probably the only person I really care to impress, I wasn't proud of a lot of the ways I was representing myself. I'd say probably when I was 30 is when I really got my… That's also your Saturn return. As far as astrological things go, that's a very powerful year. Your Saturn return is when you're 30. That's a very powerful year for everybody. It's a karmic-Even for me?For.

Sure.for you, it's 60.30.

Is a very powerful It's a powerful number. Yeah, and that year is everyone's Saturn return.

That's your karmic-I didn't know that when I was 30, though.

Yeah, but that's fine. But regardless, your karmic purpose started setting in. I forgot. You can either choose to take advantage or I did take advantage. I'm sure you did. I didn't even know. You seemed great.

Yeah, it was fine.

I will say- You're not on mef.

Well-that's true.

Yeah, not anymore.

That is true. I'm not anymore. Yeah, you're right.

I will say-Yeah, go ahead.

But I think That's one of the reasons why I haven't had a kid because of the shit that I've done. Oh, my God. I would have to go, no internet until you're 18.

It's hard, man. It's hard, yeah. I accept it, and I also... I'm weighed down by it a lot, and plenty of people on the internet choose to remind me all the time. But it's also my job as a leader of or one of the leading voices of a generation who also can relate to being misjudged by things they did when they were younger or maybe needing someone to show them how to mature. I, at least, I looked at the people on TV or in music as my parents. That was like, those were the people. It's like when Jordan took the Nike and was like, this shoe was cool. People are like, yeah, we are what we embed ourselves in. To me, frequency music was always in here. I was trusting these people as my leaders. I don't do a great job with that all the time with my lyrics, but as I grow, I'll continue to do so. I'll continue to try and take my job as a fuck up who is no longer that.

But people know, I think more than ever, there is always a separation between the art and the artist. I think people are more cognizant of that in this day and age than we've ever been. I think because-We should be, you and I.

We're not doing any of that.

No, dude.

I'll tell you what. We have to change our thing, dude.

No, we're feeding garbage to the people.

We have no message.

I'm telling you, the rawness of what you guys do, I was telling him this on the plane when he was completely incoherent about to puke on my face. It's so important what you guys do. The unfiltered, just taking the pendulum and swinging it the complete opposite way of what it just was the past five years of just where everyone's so scared to be funny or say anything at the fear of people being like, I'm going to come for your platform and take it away.

We keep doing it.

I think we had to. I I think we have to because for us, it was the thing that made us laugh the most. I think with audiences, going back to what I just said, people know what we're saying when we're fucking around. Clearly, it's coming from a place of love and heart. We shit on each other. It's all for the art of the fun of the thing.

I also don't know how else to do it.

Yeah, we don't.

You could say, that's why I don't do certain shows, even if they ask, I go, that's not... That's not for me. When I did Chelsea lately, I struggled every show. I don't care. People even said, Why? You struggled. Because it's not my thing. It was never my thing. But I tried to fit into that format, and it came out weird. It didn't work. It didn't work. This is my format. You know what I mean? This is why it works.

What you guys do is important. Like laughing saves our lives. God, I never think of that. It's a grim world. And so to make us laugh is very important. And I'm very appreciative of what you guys are doing.

Oh, my God. I'm appreciative of you. Take me back, by the way. Take me back to your 18 or 19, and you have a kid. Are you feeling like you're fucked? Did it feel like that, or was it hope? Yeah.

It was scared. Me and my friend Slim, we were sharing in a single bedroom apartment. We were in Cleveland. I was working at Chipotle. I gave up my job because I very good. Well, what about this then?Because you realized that you've heard my feelings. I'm sorry.Good, good, good.Really good? Keep going. Go, go, go, go, go.Okay.You want to leave?Take it back. Let's take it back. I take back what you're... I What was I saying? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Good?Good.I forgive you. Okay, see, dude. Can I propose one little thing? Instead of... There'll be a thousand red pandas. Can you just multiply my body?Sure. We'll do Oompa Loopa, Johnny Depp, Wanka, Willy Wanka. We'll do that with you, with the red panda. It'll be all the red pandas will be you.Okay, guys, that's all I want. You can do that with technology.Do we have a deal?We have a deal.Yeah.do we have a deal?That was great. That was really good.But machines, if we don't do it, dude, bro, we're going to have a fucking problem in the next two years. This has got to happen.So you're threatening him?Yeah, maybe a little bit. Always a good move.Yeah, I'm sorry. Always a good move. You know what I mean?But it's like, I would love to work with you. That's all.Is the rest of the show just going to look like I'm crying? No, you're good.Actually, your face looks a lot better. You're still a little red in the eyes. Let me see. Go like this. Be you on Kerb from the fifth season.Pretty good? Yeah, it looks really good. Can you cry on command?We've done this. Oh, we already did. I did that on Schultz's show. Oh, yeah. You already did that. I've done it on Schultz's show. All right.I found my lighter.It's right here. Bob, another one? One more. You want to thank our guests for coming?Dude, be real. I'm being real. Fuck you, dude. I'm really real. I feel like... I'll probably never get your number, but...Yeah, don't do that.Yeah, which is fine. But I feel like, and this is the honest truth, I I didn't know much. I knew who you were, you know who you were, but I didn't know you. I feel like I know you a lot more. I respect you.Thanks.Man.i.Like you a lot.Thank you. And I think you're a good dude. I think you're also intuitive. I think that you're mindful, and I think that you're going in the right places.Thank.You.i.Appreciate you for doing our program. And hopefully, in the Red Pan, we don't have to do it. I'm being real. If that doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. And I won't take offense. I get it. I've done other people.I've done M&M's video.Careful.I have.I've been in other videos.That's not the move. It's a threat.Wow.Yeah.It's a threat.But anyway, my point being is-Oh, you're saying if he I didn't do that.Yeah, I'm just saying I've been there, done that.That's all.That's all. But my point is, honestly, dude, I love you, dude. And thank you so much for doing it, man.Thank.You.i really appreciate it.Thank you, guys.We appreciate you very much. Thank you for saving my life. I hope we see you again. I want to thank you for being a bad friend.Thank you so much, guys. Thank you. This is awesome.. It's awesome..

very good. Well, what about this then?

Because you realized that you've heard my feelings. I'm sorry.

Good, good, good.

Really good? Keep going. Go, go, go, go, go.

Okay.

You want to leave?

Take it back. Let's take it back. I take back what you're... I What was I saying? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Good?

Good.

I forgive you. Okay, see, dude. Can I propose one little thing? Instead of... There'll be a thousand red pandas. Can you just multiply my body?

Sure. We'll do Oompa Loopa, Johnny Depp, Wanka, Willy Wanka. We'll do that with you, with the red panda. It'll be all the red pandas will be you.

Okay, guys, that's all I want. You can do that with technology.

Do we have a deal?

We have a deal.

Yeah.do we have a deal?That was great. That was really good.

But machines, if we don't do it, dude, bro, we're going to have a fucking problem in the next two years. This has got to happen.

So you're threatening him?

Yeah, maybe a little bit. Always a good move.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Always a good move. You know what I mean?

But it's like, I would love to work with you. That's all.

Is the rest of the show just going to look like I'm crying? No, you're good.

Actually, your face looks a lot better. You're still a little red in the eyes. Let me see. Go like this. Be you on Kerb from the fifth season.

Pretty good? Yeah, it looks really good. Can you cry on command?

We've done this. Oh, we already did. I did that on Schultz's show. Oh, yeah. You already did that. I've done it on Schultz's show. All right.

I found my lighter.

It's right here. Bob, another one? One more. You want to thank our guests for coming?

Dude, be real. I'm being real. Fuck you, dude. I'm really real. I feel like... I'll probably never get your number, but...

Yeah, don't do that.

Yeah, which is fine. But I feel like, and this is the honest truth, I I didn't know much. I knew who you were, you know who you were, but I didn't know you. I feel like I know you a lot more. I respect you.Thanks.

Man.i.

Like you a lot.Thank you. And I think you're a good dude. I think you're also intuitive. I think that you're mindful, and I think that you're going in the right places.Thank.

You.i.

Appreciate you for doing our program. And hopefully, in the Red Pan, we don't have to do it. I'm being real. If that doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. And I won't take offense. I get it. I've done other people.

I've done M&M's video.Careful.I have.

I've been in other videos.

That's not the move. It's a threat.Wow.Yeah.

It's a threat.

But anyway, my point being is-Oh, you're saying if he I didn't do that.

Yeah, I'm just saying I've been there, done that.

That's all.

That's all. But my point is, honestly, dude, I love you, dude. And thank you so much for doing it, man.Thank.

You.i really appreciate it.Thank you, guys.

We appreciate you very much. Thank you for saving my life. I hope we see you again. I want to thank you for being a bad friend.

Thank you so much, guys. Thank you. This is awesome.. It's awesome..