You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.

Is it uncomfortable?

It's not uncomfortable.

You know what we should do? We should get the nicest chairs we can find, really high-end, but only one of them. Then if we have two guests, one of the best guests gets it.

I don't even know where you Where do you buy chairs?

Where would you buy chairs?

I do some Amazon purchasing of... No, I haven't bought any chairs on Amazon. No, but I have bought camping chairs on Amazon. If you go high-end camping chair, you can go zero grav. I've gotten a zero grav chair on Amazon.

What's a zero grav?

It makes you feel like it's zero gravity where you feel like you're floating, but really-Floating, dude. It's just the angle of that Barker Lounge.

I think I need one because I play Stardew so much that my back is beginning to hurt.

It's probably a symptom of playing too much video games.

I think I hunch over like this, and I also dip.

Whoa, look at that zero gravity gaming chair.

Whoa, that's what I wanted. The scorpion? Does it come with the girl or no?

Yeah.

Not that she would clean and stuff. Let's move on.

That's why you game in zero graph? Yeah. That's great.

I just bought off the internet. I bought those little really low to the ground chairs. When we go to... Because it's summertime, dude, and it's going to be movies in the cemetery. Have you been?

I have been to that place. Is that Hollywood is Forever?

Yeah, Forever Cemetery. Great spot. We love going. Every year we go watch a cool movie, we've done... They did Kill Bill One and 2. We've done Beetlejuice. Have you ever done the movie theater in the Cemetery? Sanespia? All right, man. No, no, no. Welcome our guest, Jack. I'm not being rude. If you're going to be rude in front of Jack Black- I'm not being rude. Because you're trying to be a hotshot cool guy.

Sorry, Jack. No, I'm not going to be answering.

No, you're trying to be a hotshot cool guy in front of Jack. I get it. I get it. Assert dominance. I get it, dude. Yes, I've been. Well, thanks for adding to the conversation.

I mean, it's crazy right now, dude.

It's too early for me. Everybody, welcome Jack Black to the show. Jack Black, everybody. I want to say this about you, Jack Black.

Oh, we have so many things I was going to say.

Maybe one of the most- Bingo. Lovable, funny, beautiful people we have on Earth right now.

Who?

Me? Bobby. Bobby. Yeah, I just wanted to say I wanted you to recognize what I was saying.

Yeah. May I say stuff? Yeah, please. I think you're one of the most beautiful, funny, fun-loving.

Can't do the same thing. You have to mix it. My own thing? Yeah, do your own thing.

Dynamic.

Yeah.

Versatility. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Creative. You said that already?

No, but it's all wrapped in.

Odly nimble. You are. You're oddly nimble. You're talking about me? Yeah, you're dancing. I remember you do dancings.

I do move around. Yeah. I am oddly nimble. That's a That's a good description, I think, of my nimbleness. It's odd.

You built a mini ramp in your backyard, right? Don't you have a mini? I did. That's so cool. Have you ever seen that?

I've seen mini ramps here because I watch X-games and stuff. Of him skating. Oh, no, he You skate?

I do. I'm not a real ramp skater. I use it more of a mode of transportation. All through my teen years, I was skating all over the city.

You mean for real? Yeah.

That is no longer there. We took it down because there are too many... There's a lot of beefing.

Wait, what's going on?

There was just a couple of injuries, and I was like, enough of this crazy, wacky thing. It's not right. I do enjoy it, but I also am not good at it, let's be honest.

Well, you can drop down. I think that's the hardest thing, dropping down.

I cannot drop down.

Can you drop up?

Here's what I do. I start in the middle and I go back and forth until I fall down.

Can we just say it's dropping in? You know this, right?Drop, drop in.Correct. Yeah, it's not dropped out.

Excuse me, Nia Houston.

Well, here's what's funny about you.

You two here, fucking Tom.

This guy used to claim that he skated. Remember that? Remember that whole fucking lie that he perpetuated?

Tony Hawk caught me on Ali. It's online.

Yeah. Wait a second. Can you, Ollie?

I can now because Tony taught me it's online. Yes, I can. It's online.

That's one step before it gets to it.

I get an intro. Look at me. Look at my point of tail. I don't want to watch this right now. Yeah, please not. Yeah, let's not watch that right now. Okay, so anyway, but you know how to go back and forth like the thing.

I can go back and forth and I can do a couple spin-aroos, but I cannot even, Ollie, dude. We'll get you there. I can't kick flip. I did a whole video of me yelling at people to do a kick flip, and it was a lot of fun to yell at people and watch them do kick flips, but I felt like a hypocrite because I cannot kick flip. I can't even oly.

I know, but you can't kick flip without knowing how You got to fucking oley, Jack.

You got to walk before you can run. Exactly, dude. So, yeah, if afterwards, do you have a couple of decks here? You didn't bring your board, did you?

No, I don't really have it.

I see a board, but it doesn't have any wheels on it.

I got rid of all my boards, yeah. I used to use them for art, but no longer.

Yeah, that skateboard, that was given us what a fan did that as a gift. If you look around the room, actually, all this is fan art. Everything has been given to us from...

Oh, nice. It looks like there's some AI art back there.

That's That's a real... Oh, that one? Yeah, the one- No, that's my brother who lives in India.

No. Okay. Let me just say something. I am very gullible. I believe everything that is told to me. I never go, Fuck you.

But you're right. Ai, You got it. I did. That was AI. You got it, man.

I don't want to be- It's Andrew, space, prince from India. Is that what you tell me? Ai?

Yeah. I don't want to be offended, Jack, but may I say something that might be… I want to be myself.

Yeah.

I want to be real with you. Do you mind if Bobby is real with you?

Go straight at me.

I want to go straight at you. I appreciate you.

Here it comes.

There's no comment, You're good?

Yeah, you said that before.

I appreciate you. I don't want you to feel we're a big fan. Throw that out there. But I think you've helped me sexually. I'll tell you why.

Oh, all right. This is all good so far.

It's great. I was waiting for the but. No, I'm grateful for it. And? Yeah, I get really emotional about it. But I think that you... Because I know I'm littler than you, smaller, right? But I feel like we're in the same range of body types, almost. Yes.

Let me finish.On a spectrum.On.

A spectrum, yeah. His is more evolved, I'd say.

I'm rocking about 250 right now. I've been stuck here for years. Where are you at?

I'm at 180. One?

You're in the one? You're not even in the same universe as me, bro. Yeah, but women have got…

I've got with girls and they go, I like that Jack Black look. Oh, man. You know what I mean? In my mind, I'm like, I always get down on my hands and knees. I go, Thank you so much, Jack Black. I'm not praying to you. You are, though. Yeah, I am. I go, Thank you for... He's paving the road so I can get some nooky-nook. You know what I appreciate it.

That's all I'm saying. You paved the road to Pussy Town. That's basically what you've done.

Yeah. So thank you so much for that.

That might be the highest compliment I've ever received.

I don't know if you know this, but Jack Black is a subcategory on Pornhub. If you search Jack Black body. No. Oh, yeah.

Really?

There's a crew of guys that look like Jack Black on there.

I am not going to immediately search that as soon as it's going to view it's over.

I might do that at Pornhub.

If somebody compares your body to Jack Black, what would mine be compared? What's mine?

Oh, fuck you. I know what you're doing. It's gross. What is it? You want to say Tom Hardy? Is it really? I guess, yeah. Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. I guess it is. As a com for a comic, I think you are… You're not Matt Ryfe?

No. No.

You're not Matt Rife or Jeff Dye. No, that's true. But you're like two below that.

Maybe three.

Yeah, but still, 15 above me. You know what I mean? That's pretty good. It's pretty good. But you're pretty hot. Women have said that. No. You're close It's hot.

You're close. It's hot. Yeah. Hot-tempered is really what it is. Yeah. Uppity and hot-tempered. But I will say, Jack, getting back to reality, thank you for everything that you've done in the world of comedy. You bring joy in a level that I think I've never once seen you and gone, meh. No, I see you and I go, oh, yeah, that guy's fucking great.

Bro, I'll tell you the first time I saw you, dude. Yeah? It wasn't a huge part. But I remember going, Oh, that guy's good. A movie called... School of Rock. No, DMW.

I don't think I'm in that movie.

Yeah, you're in that movie. Are you sure? It's called Dead Man Walking. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're on W.

He hates acronyms. We love that. Yeah, I love acronyms, dude. You got to say them all out.

Dead Man Walking. Dude, you play his brother.

Remember, he's about to get Mgk. That's what happened earlier. Yeah, We had M-G-K in here a couple of days ago. It was a funny story, and I was like, Mgk?

He's like, Machine Gun Kelly. Oh, if you would have said that, I would have done.

But it was a serious scene in the movie where your brother's dying. He's on death row. Jack, right?

Sean Penn.

Sean Penn is your brother, right?

Yeah, he was the dead man walking.

I remember distinctly, you guys are in a waiting room. I think you're wearing a suit. I don't know. Were you ever wearing a suit?

Yeah, it was like a Sears. It was a cheap suit. Yeah. We A low-income family. I was one of his little brothers. We were three of us. I was so freaking out because I love Sean Penn. Ever since I saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High, my favorite actor.

So good.

And weirdly, that was the only comedy thing he did, the very first movie. And then he went hard into drama.

But that Fast Times? No one. I mean, I know it's a specific character. It seems more sketchy, like a sketch character almost. But dude, because he's such a good actor, it just makes it so much better because it's so believable.

He never looked like that again, which I thought was really wild. He transformed That stoner surfer thing never was reimagined by him, which I thought was wild. After that, you never saw him look like that ever again.

Or what was the donut around his belly button when he walks in, remember that? Remember Fast Times?

I don't remember a donut in his belly button.

I think he walked into the room with a donut in his belly button. Aspicoli? Aspicoli. Am I not right or no? I don't think so. I don't think so. Right there. Or bagel.

Bagel, yeah.

That's tucked in, dude.

But I'm sure that's a choice.

Mr. Hand.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, no one had captured that stoner before him on film that I'm aware of, and it was just such a brilliant, hilarious performance. But anyway, so I had this little part as his little brother, and it was just a surreal experience. I got to watch him do his thing up close and personal, and I was there on the day that he shot the scene with Susan Sarandon.In the jail?In the jail.Oh, my God. It's the night before he's going to get executed, and he's just having this cathartic, just explosive tears. It's a confession.

He confesses to her.It's It was a redemption part of it.Yeah. Obviously, you weren't shooting that day. No. You knew he was shooting that scene that day? Yeah. Were they aware that you were coming or no?

No, I knew the director. The director who also gave me my first part in showbiz, Tim Robbins, was also the director of a theater company called The Actors Gang. I was tight with him, so he let me see the scenes. I wanted to watch stuff.

Was he approachable, Sean Penn, back then or no?

He was approachable, but he was super method, so he was in character as this gnarly dude, drug doing, madman who partied hard. I did hang with him, but I have to admit, I was a little scared of him in the way that you might be scared of a wild animal where it's a little unpredictable. One time you're just talking and there's a funny story about John Malkovich or something, and then the next minute, there's some crazy free form poetry coming out of it. Then it's like, Wait, are you going to punch me in the face? Wait, what's happening over there? Is there a blowjob happening? Hey, where am I?

Do you get intimidated still or no? Sometimes I'm like, I get a little nervous.

Yeah, I get anxious.

You get anxious?

I get anxious. When they say, Never meet your heroes, I think never meet your heroes, not because they're going to do something weird, but I act weird around them. I don't do well. If I have an option to meet them, I usually will say, Pass. I'd rather just enjoy their work from afar.

Yeah. Also, you don't want them to be a dick, then it'll forever change how you feel about them. No?

I don't know.

I tell you my Thierry Henry story, right?

No.

You know who Thierry Henry is?Soccer player?Yeah.

It's my favorite soccer player, Jack. Oh, really?

Even better than Hey, Le.

The way you say Pele, maybe not, dude. But it's like, Thierry Henry is a French soccer player for my favorite team. What's my favorite team, everybody?Arsenal.Arsenal FC. Okay. Legend. I was shooting the dictator. It's Sasha He's in the movie. I had two lines. I have two lines.

But anyway-There are no small parts.

Thank you, Jack.

No, he does a lot of small parts. Two Line Lee.

I know.

Honestly, yeah. In the business, he's called Two Line. Two Line Lee.

What he does with them, though. Everybody loves him.

I don't know.

He makes a meal.

I make a meal. Anyway, I'm in the elevator. I can't believe I've never told this story.

No.

Oh, my God. All right, so I'm at the Trump Soho Hotel You have a residency there, right?

I'm a residency there.

Anyway, that's what it's called. It's called the Trump Hotel.

They've got a Lee floor. We've got a Lee floor.

Yeah, there's a library. 33 for Lee. Okay. First of all, there's definitely not a library there. Go No, there was... Okay, anyway. I go in the elevator, the door's open. Can I just say, because he's French and he played for Arsenal, it's England, it's like running into Gandalf or Baltimore. You never think you're going to fucking run into them. It's not like LA where like, Oh, there's Tom Cruise. I mean, he... Or whatever. You never think. When he walked in, in my mind, I'm like, Gandalf just walked. You know what I mean? Then also, I'm like, his I'm the biggest fan, and I fucking went, I shut down. I was like, I didn't know what to say. Then he got off on his floor, and I wanted to say things, and I couldn't. It was the first time where I was fucking star struck.

So you never got to say hello?

I never said anything. But it was better that way because if I fucking He said something and he was a dick, oh, my God, it would have ruined it.

What would you have said anyway?

Let me be that guy. What's his name?

Thierry Henry.

Thierry.

I am Thierry Andrew. Yeah. Pardon me, I'm going to the elevator.

Yeah. Okay. Let the music play in the elevator. I'm not going to go right away. Thierry. Hello. Are you talking to me? I can take the volume down. I can take the volume down.

Bonjour.

I'm trying to turn. Sorry, Thierry.

I'm trying to turn down the...

Take your fucking shot. Anyway.

Where is it the volume on the elevator music? This elevator has a volume knob. This is crazy.

In a teary, dude, I'm a huge Arsenal fan. I'm a huge Arsenal fan. I can't believe it.Thank.

You.can.

I take a photo with you?

Mr. Henry, your phone.I'm sorry, there is no time. It's just weird to talk to people in the day down. So goodbye. Au revoir. I fucked it up. It doesn't matter. Dude, no matter what you do in an elevator, as soon as you start talking to a stranger in an elevator, You're off on the wrong foot because they feel trapped. They're stuck with it. They don't know who you are. You could be a dangerous person.

Elevator conversations are so on.

That's why maybe I didn't say it.

Here's the best thing to say. I don't want to be that guy, but let me be that guy for a minute.

Every time. They say that every time.

A guy walked up to me on the phone in Scotland on FaceTime. I was at a hotel on the phone with my wife. A guy He's on FaceTime, and he just jams his phone in front of my face because he's on with a friend of his. I took everything inside of me not to just take his phone and throw it as far as I could because it was crazy rude. He was just shoved it in my face. Now, I think my generation of like, Don't say anything. I'm just going to leave them alone. Now, people don't give a shit at all. They'll shove a phone right in your face. They'll record you. It's crazy now. There's no rules.

No rules. There's no rules, but there's also no way to win because if you throw the phone, you're an asshole. If you take the phone and play along and talk to the stranger on the thing for the stranger, then you're being a foolish person because now you're getting stuck in a weird situation. I always end up doing it. I was like, Okay, yeah, I'll talk to the person. But if I'm late for a thing or I'm with someone that's a friend or a family, I will keep it short.

Hey, man. It was weird. It was How weird is he? Put it on my face.

I can't imagine you. I mean, your face must have changed colors.

Yeah, I don't like that.

The key is the pivot. How do you stick and move so that it takes the least amount of time? And that way, I think it's best to go high impact. Give That's what I'm doing. I'm going to give you that fucking phone.

What's up, you fucking asshole?

Love you. Bye. Give them the experience and then move.

Write that down. High impact. That's why I'm going to try that style. Luke, can I try high impact?

I was the opposite. He put it in my face. I go, Come on, man. And I walked away.

Can I try?

What are you doing?

Can I try high impact? Yeah.

I want to practice. I think you're a little high impact anyway. Right now? Yeah. No, always. Okay. Do it. Go for it.

Well, put the phone on my face.

Hey, man, we talked to my buddy. I got it.

That's I told you he was Asian. Here's the problem with what you did, Andrew. For me, if I do what you did, you're like, No, pass. Thank you, but no, thank you. And I walk away. It stays with me.

Oh, yeah.

I disappointed that person. It They'll fucking stick with me for days, sometimes weeks. I'll be like, Why was I such an asshole? All I had to do was fucking... So I will usually err on the side of, Give him something.

Give him a little. Give him a little something. If it's appropriate, I always But this was drunk, rude, shove a phone in my face. I was like, Come on, dude.

But you guys don't know what it's like being little, though.

Because then they could take more advantage.

No, what they do is-They pick you up. Last night, I was with a young lady. In her 30. She's 30 years old.

Why are we shooting guns just then?

It's becoming more American.

I love Deadwood, and that's why I was doing that.

Is that what she calls your penis? Go ahead.

No, but we have Bluetooth. Yeah, we do. I'm throwing in there. Anyway, last night, eating dinner at Melrose ramen. It's great. Roman, they close at 3:00 in the morning.

Wow.

Really? It's great. It's on Melrose. Party zone.

Yeah.

It's a good place. After stand up, if you're hungry, go with it.

Anyway, after last call, they know what they're doing.

They know exactly what they're doing. Thank you, Jack. I'm sitting there and a guy comes up from behind me and puts me in a headlock. He I know this guy, the internet, or whatever. I'm like, Yeah. It does like a noogie-noogie thing, right? Fucking guy. Because I'm little, they think that they can do it, which they can.

No, they can't. I don't want anybody to talk. But they do. Nobody ever touched my best friend ever again. That's enough. No more head locking. It's not nice.

Or after a show, if I'm in the south, people will pick me up.

I know. I've seen it.

Hey, my little fucking guy right here, man. Hello, Kitty, man. Come here. Hey. You know what I mean? They'll pick me up like I'm a little fucking statue or whatever.

They simba him. They go,.

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They go, Hey, man, good comedy. My little guy. You know what I mean? I fucking hate it.

Anyway. You know that I get some of that, too. They don't lift me up. They'd get a hernia. But I know that feeling of familiarity, and part of it is our fault because we got a similar good times energy. We send that out to the universe. That's why we have some of our success is because that comes through in what we do. It's a blessing and a curse.

Good times energy. Good You don't have good times energy. No. You have bad times energy sometimes. Bad times. Yeah, for sure. Very bad times. Yeah, grim almost.

Dark. Yeah.

But why can't you be more silly like Jack and I?

Because we're good times people. It's not in my nature. It's not? There's Yin and Yang in the universe. You're Yang. I'm Yin.

No, we're more Yang. You're Yang.

No, I'm Yin. You're Yang.

Is Yang white or black?

I don't know. Look it up. Which one's Yang and which one's Yang?

I want to know what the color is.

We're overpowering the dark side here. I'm I'm messing with the balance of power of your Yin and Yang right now.

Oh, yeah, you are.

Yang is white. Yeah. So I'm Yang.

We're Yang.

We're Yang.

Oh, yeah.

No, you guys are more full moon. Okay, full moon. When Yin is the strongest... Okay.

You ever been a Yang chow?

Is that on Melrose? Is that Chinese restaurant?

Yeah, in Chinatown. Here in LA, Slippery shrimp. Get the Slippery shrimp.

Slippery shrimp?

Yeah. That was my name.

It's not a good name because it's not slippery. It's crunchy and sweet.

Is it spicy?

A little bit.

There it is. Slippery shrimp.

I love Slippery shrimp. It's so yummy.

I love myself. What's your bad boy meal? What's your like, I can't wait to go get naughty and over eat this.

I mean, look, a cheeseburger is the best sandwich in the world, and that is my bad boy meal with some fries.

You got a spot?

What's your favorite smashed burger right now?

You know what? I'm going to come out and say, I'm not into smashed burgers. They're smashed. So the question, this is the eternal question. I can't believe we still have to ask this question. Where's the beef? It's been smashed out of it. It's mostly char. It's mostly fried char, and the beef is in there, but it's smashed. I like a big, fat, juicy burger. Yes.

You're a floodrucker's guy.

It closed, Jack.

Or actually, this is not the fattest burger there is, but my favorite burger, it's obviously the Apple Pan.

My favorite.

I've been to Apple Pan. Apple Pan is great.

I used to live next door to there.

It's on Pico, right? Is it Pico?

Westwood and Pico.

Yeah. Been there, done that. I agree. But may I have an argument, please? You got a rebuttal. I got to do the rebuttal, okay?

We're talking fries well done, Jack? Of course. And you get a slice of pie a la mode afterwards?

I do if I'm feeling nasty. I do every time. Dude, you know what the real weird thing is? If you go a Hacry cheeseburger and the tuna sandwich, but you split that in half with a friend.

Oh my God.

You get sensible. This is hot.

I didn't even know you could do that.

Then I like to take them extra well done fries and get a little bit of scoop of tuna and ketchup.

Oh, I didn't even know that they had that.

Have you ever thought about doing A Jack Black's restaurant?

I should do a restaurant. I did think about it for a minute. At the peak of like, kung fu Panda and nacho libre, I was like, I could do a fusion restaurant.

Kung fu nachos.

Nacho panda. Then I thought about it. I was like, Wait, do I really want those flavors together? The sweet and sour taco? Yeah.

Yeah, dude. Maybe. Nacho panda. I mean, fucking Danny Trejo does it.

Okay, what is that? Is that Danny Trejo?

It's my Danny Trejo impression.

But it's on brand for Danny Trejo. He's Mexican, so he can pull off a Mexican restaurant and do it well.

He also has a Chinese restaurant, though, too, to be fair.

No, he does not. I'm very gullible.

No, he doesn't. Can I do my You're going to have a fucking counter argument? God.

No, we're over it.

No, do it. Thank you so much, Jack. All right, so I'll tell you why Smash Burgers, number one, okay? Yeah. You want a thick fucking piece of meat in there? What happens? It bleeds into the fucking bun, and now you got this bloody bun that you have to fucking chew. It's silk. It's Sooky. It's muddy.

Interesting.

All right? But a Smash burger doesn't have a lot of juices that come out. It's also more compact. It's better to hold.

It's like you. Yeah.

Where's your favorite Where's your favorite? Well, let me tell you something right now, Jack. I'm glad you asked. Okay. Right now, I go to Hi-ho.

Hi-ho. Have you heard of it? It sounds like maybe there's some fusion in there. Is there some Korean flavors on there?

No. Why did they call it Hi-ho?

That was the guy's name.

Oh, is that okay? No, it is because I'll tell you why, because it's the owner of Sugarfish.

Yeah. Maybe his name's just Ho. And you say, Hi, Ho.

Hi, Ho. Oh, baby. I go there and then-He's the owner of Sugarfish.

Yeah, same guy. There's got to be some fusion in their Japanese burger.

Yeah, maybe.

Those are fish fries.

Yeah, the umami is definitely in it. Let me say something else, okay? Then I also go to heavy-handed now. You go to heavy-handed?

Dude, I'm going straight to high-hoe.

You got to go there, dude.

It's pretty good.

It's so good. I like all that lettuce and stuff in there.

Yeah, it's so good, dude. Next time, when you eat this, then we'll have the discussion. You know what I mean? But I think that without you eating this, Jack, you don't even know what you're talking about. Are there pickles?

Yes, please.

He knows what he's talking about.

Also, Andrew, can I say this? Last thing about Hi-ho. I have nothing to do with the fucking company.

Maybe it's a Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs reference, though. Hi-ho. It's off to Burger Go.

Yeah. Anyway, go there. Also, can I say something? This is the first restaurant where the photo looks like the thing.

Can I say another thing, though? When I do go, I'll probably walk there and back to walk off all the How many steps to walk off a high ho? A lot.

How many calories in a high ho burger? I actually want to find out.

Least 12,000 steps.

Really? I never look at calories.

We know you don't. That's a big issue.

I will say this, though. Yeah. Oh, that's only three. Some of the best burgers I've ever had at Mexican restaurants, hamburguesa. They got the flavor. A lot Mexican cooks, they put the seasonings in there that taste extra good. Amburgeza. Amburgeza. There's a place called Yucca's, little taco stand. But guess what? What? Got a great cheeseburger in there.

No. At Yucca's.

My favorite burger in LA is only because it's nostalgic for me. But there's a place on the west side where Venice meets the Water called Hanano. Do you know about Hanano? Mm-mm. I don't know if you said that earlier, if he said that. But Hanano is an old café right on the water, almost. Jim Morison used to play there. He used to live around the corner. It's got woodchips all over the floor still. Big deal. One of those old school bars. Oh, my God.

You don't like the doors?

Big deal.

What?

Jim Morison used to play there?

Yeah. Morson used to live around the corner from there in Venice, and I guess he would walk there. Look and see if you get the inside of that place. It's awesome. It's still got wood chips on the ground like the old bars used to.

Yeah, but when you go to a hot dog stand, you see a photo of Barack Obama eating the hot dog. It doesn't do anything for me. That's all. Let's just move on.

I would think it's probably a good hot dog. Probably. He's not going to mess around with a substandard hot dog.

Wait, stay on that photo. Stay on that photo real quick, all right? Diversity. Already, I like the hamburger because look at that guy. Look at that guy.

He loves it. He loves it. Yeah. On the other side of the bar is where the bands still play. They still have music there at night. See there where the pool table is. Go to that fifth picture down or whatever. You can see there's a pool table. Bands play in that corner there. It's like an old surf. But the best part is, the reason I like this is, it's always been a cheap, affordable burger. We used to live on the West Side, and there is no kitchen. They cook the burger right next to the taps. There's a flat top grill next to the taps. That's where you get your burger from. Right there. There it is. Right when you walk in, slinging them right out front. It's the best.

This is back when it was before Jim Morris was in the doors, he would go in there and just do open mic night?

No, there was nights when he was with the doors, he would go play.

The doors played that hamburger?

Jim would play by himself there. Would go play. You can go ask him, too. They'll talk about it. Look, there's an original picture of Fernando from back in the day.

How does he play by himself? He just sing.

He would just sing and play guitar.

That's what they said.

He would show up there and just sing. Now, whether that's local lore, I don't care. It's local lore.

They don't have any evidence. They don't have photographic evidence.

No, there's pictures of Jim at the bar. But I don't know if that's true, but I like it. Even if it's not, I don't give a shit I like. If he hung out there, even, I was like, That's fucking rad.

And he was already a rock star, you're saying?

He would also do that. Artie famous, yeah.

He didn't need to perform for free cheeseburgers.

To be honest, I'm sure he was probably fucked up out of his mind. He was going there just to rail one out and play. And then, ironically enough or coincidentally, when I moved from the West Side to West Hollywood, I lived next door to Jim Morrisons' last known residence on Norton Avenue in West Hollywood.

I like the doors.

I did this just to find out.

I did this to find out if you like the doors.

There's lots of people that don't like the doors. I don't know what it is, but they do rub people the wrong way. I'm on the camp that the doors rule.

They fucking rock.

I love the doors.

Also, Phil Manzarik. Is that the piano?

Yeah, close enough. What is it? Manzarik.

Phil Manzarik. Okay.

Ray Manzarik. Ray.

That was the Phil that was the- Ray Manzarik, right? Because he did the bass lines as well on the keyboards, right?

Yeah. You were thinking of Phil Collins combo. Who are you thinking of? I don't know. I got nervous. Phil Manz, Eric. Yeah. Yeah, he does. There's no bass player. He gets the bass on his keyboards.

Amazing. So cool. So fucking cool.

The thing about the doors, too, Jim Morse had the best voice, best screaming. He could sing better than anyone of his generation, I would say.

You probably are one of the best scream singers, too. You're very good.Thank you.You know that. You're a rip.

I'm no Jim Morse, but I can get up there.

When did When did you discover this love of music and performing that you had? Like, beyond the acting stuff, the music thing, was that your first love?

I loved getting up on a stage and getting attention and ham and cheese and doing theatrics when I was a little kid. Loved putting on a show from as far back as I can remember. Music, I liked it, listening to it, but I didn't really get into singing until later, till high school when I got into the musical theater because those were the good opportunities to get up on stage. I was singing in a little show called Pippin. You ever hear about Pippin? Pippin. 1970s musical. I remember auditioning to get into Pippin and singing, and I had to really scrape the pan is what they call it. When you get up to the top of your voice and you got to, Yeah! Get up there. There's a little bit of your vocal pipes. I remember there was a girl who was auditioning right after me, and the way she looked at me when I scraped the pan, no one had ever looked at me like that before, and I was like, I think I like this music.

She looked at you in a Ulala.

It was a different...

Yes, there was a thing. I love Ulala. Don't you love Ulala?

Everybody likes Ulala.

Dude, that's one of my favorite vibes. You're Mr. Ulala.

Yeah. I mean, that wasn't the only reason. I do love music, and I love doing it, but there was something about that.

But That's how you realized that you had the thing.

That maybe I had a little something. Maybe I had something I could work with.

It's surprising you never did stand-up.

Yeah, no stand-up for me.

Probably better than it.

What?

He's better than it. I know he's better than it, but I'm just saying...

It's aIt's a low rent art. It's a low bar.

It's a low. It's hanging fruit.

It's low rent art.

You know what it is? It's writing. I do like to improvise. I've done a lot of improv classes and some improv in some of the sketches I've done. But The best improvisers are really good writers. Those stand-up comedians, you got to be a real writer. I don't really think of myself that way.

I do.

I do, too. I think you-You never thought about trying it.

I I have thought about it because I've been around it a lot. When me and Kyle were doing Tenacious D, we would go and play these clubs and all these brilliant standups would go up there. But it takes a courage. I always liked having that security blanket of being a part of a team. If it went I could always say it was his fault. Having the guitars and the music was also... It was our thing that set us apart from the other comedy acts, but also maybe secretly a little bit of a crutch. It's like, Oh, we got the music here. I don't know.

We all have a crush, though.

We all have our crutsches. I do the same things. Sometimes the things that you think these are little devices that I've created to save a set. I just did a show with Bird at not Savannah, Georgia. I forgot where we were.

I don't remember.

I know because you weren't there.

You were in the south. I was in the south. You called me.

Right. I told you I bombed, right? Yeah. So Big Jay Ocerson. It was about 10,000 people in the audience. Yeah. Big Jay Ocerson has the set of the night, destruction. Also in the south, and that's his people.

What does that even mean? He's from Baltimore.

He speaks their language.

Yeah, he's a a filthy white. Can I say filthy white? You know what I mean? He's not a clean white. He's not Joe Mulaney.

Yeah, he's a filthy white.

He's a filthy white. I don't think he'd be offended if I said that. I'm a filthy yellow. He's a great white. Yeah, he's a great white. Killing it. I'm literally, I turned to Leanne, Bert's wife, and I go, I'm going to struggle. She goes, No, you're fine, sweet. They love you. It's all about love, these audiences. I go, I'm going to struggle. I hear my name come up. I'm I go up there and, dude, I struggle. Oh, shit. Then I started doing… I have a bag of tricks. Bag of tricks. Right. This is one of my… I don't want to reveal it, but I'm going to do it. Do it. One of my bag of tricks is I'll do three minutes, and then if somebody sits down, like when they went to the bathroom, I'll go, Fuck, where were you? They're like, I went to the bathroom. I go, I got to start over. I'll leave the stage, I'll run out, and then restart doing the same jokes, and that usually kills. It did worse than the original joke. They were like, We see through it. That's almost like they said that, We see through your little antics, your little tricks.

I did it all.

What could you have done?

Nothing. I bombed.

What do you do when you're in a situation when you guys aren't being well received?

No, they're always well received.

No, there have been a couple of times, but especially Especially if you're going to play in festivals where there's 100,000 people there that really came to see Metallica or whoever, you got to win some people over. What I do is the mantra is, Don't forget to pretend to have a good time.

Why?

Because if you just stay in that, just keep on pretending like you're loving it and enjoying it, eventually you will start to, and then that's the hope and the dream. Then they'll pick up on that energy they'll start to enjoy it, too. Because if you're suffering and you're, what did you say?

Struggling? Struggling, yeah.

It's like, yeah, there's blood in the water. There's blood in the water, dude. They can sense it. They're like an animal. Yeah. They can see your fear.

I tell people when they're doing The Tonight Show, I go… Because I'm not going to name the name. Can I just whisper it?

Yeah, do that.

Back in the day, I think before I did stand up, I saw who we love. Yeah, he's our homie. Do The Tonight Show, and he didn't do well. Even as a non-standup at the time, I went, Oh, shit, this guy's a legend. He's not doing well. Live TV is so hard. Tell me… I can do this. Yeah, you're good. It's a crazy… Displate. Y'all, when I was in high school in the '80s.

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Both.

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Anyway, but when I tell you, Young Kama, I go, You're on TV, they can sweeten it. You know what I mean? Just pretend you're killing. Smile. You know what I mean? If you're eating... We know that at clubs, if you're bombing, you know what I mean? Just give it to them. It's the same thing. Yeah. I shouldn't even said any of that, right? Because it's just you already said it. No. Now I feel like a fool.

Now I look like a fool. You do not. I wasn't listening at all because I was thinking the next thing I was going to say. Go ahead, get there. Because the truth is, no matter what your approach is, if you have a technique of what to do, mantras don't really work because you go, Okay, don't forget the thing. To always do the thing. The thing is always going to be different every show. It's not the same. But what I've noticed is we'll have a great show, and then we'll have a bad show. And after the bad show, I usually have a good one the next one because I'll usually be like, You know what? I was trying too hard. It's my number one problem is trying too hard. I go, This next time, I'm not going to try too hard. I'm going to… This sounds horrible. I'm going to phone it in a little bit. If you phone it, you throw it away, you don't care as much.

That's when the magic happens. I have another couple of questions for you. It's about acting. Real quick. Real quick, okay. How do you do it? No. When you're in a scene and you're in the background, not in the background, but there's a wide shot, and you're supposed to have a conversation with somebody, do you do what I do? I'm sure there's a better technique, but you say watermelon a thousand times. Is that something that you do, or do you just… I always go, Watermilk, watermelon.

What do you say? Cheese and potatoes. That's the cheese cheese. Cheese and potatoes. I mean, it is some of the hardest shit when you're not supposed to be pulling focus, but you don't want to be a strange creature that's not human back there. How do How do you act in the background? There should be a class on it. You're right. What do I do with my hands?

Then let me ask you another question. When you're tongue-tied, you know what I mean? You have a big thing, chunky thing you have to say, and you're tongue-tied. Does this work? Because this works for me. Red leather, yellow leather.

Yeah. Red leather, yellow leather. Well, that's one of the many things you can... I have a bunch of them.

I know how to do it too, guys.

A big black bug bit a big brown bear. Geese cackle, cattle low, crow's ca, cocks crow.

Eight great geese in a greenfield grazing.

I can go on for hours.

Keep doing it. I want to see them more.

Six thick thistle sticks. Lucy likes light literature. Amus Ames, the amiable aeronaut, aided in an aerial enterprise at the age of 88. Some shun sunshine. Do you shun sunshine? Fine white wine vinegar with veal.

Did you memorize that or are you just improvising that?

I memorized it way back in my 20s. The theater student.Wow, dude.

Do you know how to do any of those?

No, I'm not a good actor.

Yeah. Let me try to improvise some, maybe. Can I challenge myself?

Some Shun Sunshine. Do you shun sunshine?

That's good. Ricardo Valenzuela is off the hockey stick. No, that's not working. Ricardo Valenzuela? Yeah. La Valencia Hotel is incognito with John Smith.

This is coming through you?

Yeah, it's coming through. Like channeling Yeah, right. Montgomery Ward is within each other's hemisphere, creating lots of dozens of laughs.

Oh, man. What do you think? You're just letting it spill. Now, I can tell that's what's coming off the top of your down.

Dude, I'm channeling it, dude. I don't need to memorize it.

Especially because Montgomery Ward hasn't been around in 30 years. Department stores that are out of commission, that's amazing.

Is that what it is?

Montgomery Ward?

I never even heard of it before. I just channeled it.

It used to be a department store.

I channeled it, dude.

That's amazing. I've never been seen. That's something from San Diego Youth there popping up.

What do you mean, bud?

That was the mall. At the Mall. Montgomery Ward.

At the Mall. At Montgomery War. At Montgomery War. That was an actual place, huh?

Pretty cool. Dude, the channeling was incredible.

Thank you so much.Channel.

Again.channel, baby. What? Channel, baby. Let it rip.

Let it rip. Channel. Buggle Beach, where it doesn't create nothing but eyesores. What do you think? Channel again.

channel more.

channel. Alastair Montgomery and the Skyline creating algorithms within each other's foot.

Wait a second. Montgomery came out again, though. As soon as there's your repeater, I think it kills the-I fucked it. I fucked it.

You're right. I fucked it. I can't channel anymore. It's dead. All right.

Let me try.

If you can't go double, Monkum. You're ready?

And channel.

My father never loved me. That's the same thing?

It's not the same thing.

Keep going.

Keep going.

More channeling. Okay. Why didn't he love me? Why did you never come to any of my baseball games? I just wanted to see your face. Good.

That was good. Wow. I don't think you should do that on set, though. No? Yeah, that'd be weird.

Someone's like, Man, you can't get your lines right. I'm like, One second. Daddy.

Wait, is this an acting exercise? This helps you be a better actor if you channel good right before you go out to act?

I think so. That's right, guy.

It's cool. It's like you're flushing out the clogs in your emotions.

You got to shake out all the bullshit.

Can I try? Yeah, go ahead. All right. Fuck a shaker, lick a ding-dong. Why do I live in a world of dreams? The space is infinite. If you go to the end, you'll see the devil. No, you won't. He doesn't exist. That's what he wants you to think. Cuck.

Wow, dude.

You know the channel, too. It just got very-Very good, dude. I don't know what just happened. Did I say words?

Yeah, that was incredible.

It definitely didn't end with Cuck. I'll tell you that.

That was fucking incredible. I feel like you don't... What are you doing?

I was trying to see my channel.

Yeah, can you channel? I closed my eyes. Are you channeling?

Yeah.

Machine tire wind dropping, turbulence, waves crashing, penis pain. There it is.

Dude, so good. That's what I'm talking about. You got it on your system. That feels good. Carlos, you want to give it a try?

Hey, go ahead.

Let Carlos go. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Channel. Shama, little ding-dong algorithm. Stop, stop, stop.

Time out.

Wait, is there a wrong way to channel? You think that was- I said algorithm already. Yeah.

He's not allowed to channel anything you channel. You can't channel my shit. I felt like Shyamalama ding-dong. I covered that, too. Yeah, you covered that, too.

Can you do your own channeling or are you a channel hack?

I think we just learned. He's a channel hack, dude.

You're not real, dude.

That's really true. You have the ability, dude. I didn't know Jack did Shyamalama ding-dong. It wasn't Shyamalama ding-dong. There was a ding and a ding, but I think the Shyamalama was all you. I don't think this is fair for us to be telling him he can't channel the way. If part of his channeling is stealing our channels, then that's a channel.

I know, but it just doesn't feel creative to me.

It feels like a channel theme.

Yeah, you're a channel theme.

But let's be fair. The channeling is for you to do alone in your trailer right before Martin Scorsese calls you to the set. This is something That's something that Leo De Cap will do before his Oscar-winning performance in, Again, Once Upon a Time, Hollywood 2.

Oh, yeah. I love that movie.

You know what? You're right. I made fun of you just now. I know. You're not a channel. You're a basic guy. No, just be real. You're a basic guy with basic...Be nice.I'm being nice.Be nice. You're basic. You know what I mean? You're like pumpkin spies like the white girls. You know what I mean? You have your routine during the day.

You know what it is? He's got more balance in his life again. How many days sober now? What are we talking?

We're at nine months around there. Wait. No, more like six.

The clapping is not there.

That's how I know he's not. That there's something awry.

Oh, no.

It's because I'm not going to meetings, I'm not keeping track. Where you go from nine months to six months, there's a three-month gap there. It's a big gap.

It's a summer.

I was trying to remember what month it was right now. Because you usually... I'm sorry, I don't mean to be an argument. And congratulations, by the way. But my point being is that because I count days, you know exactly what day.

You know how many days it's been.

Yeah, when you're going nine months, I mean, six months, it's a little weird. Because I'm not happy about it. I'm not thrilled about being sober right now. I'm not counting. Then go to a fucking meeting.

That is definitely the solution is to go to a meeting.

We don't have to get into that right now. Okay, let's move on then. Anyway, you look great, though. Congratulations. Get Carlos around. He's sober. He's talking wonderful.

Hey, you're alive. That's all that matters, right, guys?Thank you, Jeff.That.

Is true.

Can we talk about Borderlands or no? Yeah, let's talk about it.

Oh, yes. The reason I'm here. Yeah. Just kidding. I've always wanted to be on your show.

The movie that you guys did, we have a three-way connection, right? You did the film together. Correct. One of my closest friends is a producer on the movie. When he told me, he was... She told me he was going to get the role or they were going to whatever.

I auditioned.

It was a cool… I was like, I knew before he knew. It was a sweet little nugget of life, and I was like, Oh, this is amazing. Then it's opened his world to all these great people. I saw the trailer looks fucking amazing. I saw it before they put it out, which I thought was really cool, but it looks rad.

What's a bummer about it, though, is because when I found out you're in it, but then I realized you're not going to be there.

You were out in Bulgaria going, Where the fuck is Jack Black?

Yeah. Then I realized, Oh, he's Kloptra.

This is bullshit. But we could still work together.

Yeah, we did one table read. I remember that day.

A Zoom table.

Zoom, yeah, but you crushed it. Can I tell you what happened? We had that table. Can I tell you what happened? Yeah. All right, Jack, I want to be vulnerable because I know sometimes people think I'm cool. I got my shit together like, Oh, yeah, he's got all the…

There you are, though. That's incredible. Look, zoom in. There he is.

You got the smallest picture, but thanks for putting on.

Dude, made the poster.

I made the poster. That's fucking huge. It's amazing. It's amazing. Fucking amazing.

Who's the guy in the middle? Who's that guy in the dead center? Kevin Hart.

Kevin Hart.

That's Kevin Hart.

That's right. With the beret. Yeah, with the beret. Like you've never seen them before. Special Forces beret.

Edgar Ramirez is a lot… Anyway, I get the movie, and Jack, I'll be honest with you, I've never been in a movie with this cast before.

Caliber of stars.

Yeah, it's just stacked, right? Yeah. Let me be vulnerable. I'm nervous as fuck, let's be honest. I don't know if you're remembering me. I'm real nervous.Yeah.You.

Thought you might lose the job over the Zoom performance? Exactly. Not a chance.

This is what happens, okay?

Chance, by the way.Yeah.

There's a chance. What happens is Eli's assistant or something me and goes, Hey, dude, there's not going to be a lot of people to table read at the Zoom. I go, Okay. He goes, I'm going to text you a list of characters that you're going to be playing as well as the character that you're doing. I go, Okay. It's like 20 names. Now I'm panically like, I could get fired from so many different angles now. For days, bro, highlight even the sergeant or whatever. I'm trying to memorize everything and their point of view or whatever.Different.

Sounding voices.Different.

Sounding voices. I go, I have to kill here. This is my shot. When we get on Zoom, I'm there five minutes earlier and I'm looking at all the boxes. There's so many boxes. In my mind, I was like, I don't know if I'm playing 20 parts. You know what I mean? It seems like there's... I'm glad I did this. Two minutes before we were about to start, I text the guy again. I Are you sure about these 20 names? He goes, Oh, no, I forgot to tell you, you're only doing two.

Oh, my God.

If I hadn't called, I would have been interrupting somebody. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You would have been interrupting 18 people.

I know.

Thank God. I mean, would that have been bad? Oh, yeah. I think that would have been bad.

I'll tell you what was bad, though, is that they made you rehearse 20 different roles, and really, it was only two that you had to work. Yeah, it was mean. Because you put in some hours, it sounds like, and some stress, lost a little sleep.

They owe me money, is what you're saying? Okay, yeah. Is that what they're saying? What are we talking about here, dude? To get a lawyer? Yeah. I know. Yeah, it was stressful, but it's fine.

I'll tell you what, when I found out you were in it, I was like, That's rad, and they're lucky. We are lucky to have you on that movie because you're fucking hilarious. Oh, God bless you. You can relax about the worrying about getting canned. They're thanking their lucky stars because you're killing it. Yeah.

It was also just a very positive experience. I'll tell you that right now.

You know what has currency that people don't really realize? If you kill it in a social media post, that has just as much, if not more power in the industry than having a zippy came in a major motion picture. If you fucking crush it like you do on the regular, on social media, on podcasts, or on interviews and other people's shit, that stuff counts a lot.

But Jack, I'm A lot of eyeballs, a lot of clicks. Jack, I appreciate that. I'll tell you the difference between me and Andrew and the other podcasters. The other podcasters, they understand that. But him and I, for some reason, and I know you're like this, some of our dreams are still tied up with television and movies because we're a little older.

We were just- Same. Right.

I think we got to… I don't want to talk about me. I have to unlearnt that and find that this is the dream.

Yeah, but we like the other stuff.

No, we love the other stuff, but I'm just saying… But you are right. I think that it's great.

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No, but I'm saying- I love it. I'm saying that it's actually also working in the industry. When the casting agency is a thing that really makes them laugh hard, it doesn't matter what the venue is. They see you killing it in a post. People get cast off of that just as much as anything else nowadays.

I know, but you did it the traditional way, right? I mean, you You got a manager, agent, took acting classes, you auditioned for a commercial. You moved your way up. I don't know, right? There was a clear pathway of a way to do it. I think you and I were the same way, right or no?

Well, yeah, for a little bit. Then the industry changed.

Yeah, it changed.

Wait, do you guys have a headshot that on the back has four different activities? Yeah. See, we're old school like that. Soccer. The kids today, they don't have those headshots with the things. Yeah, the skateboarding.

Ken Oli, not Ken Cliff.

I don't know any other language but English, but I would put five things on there.

I had eating cereal was one of the pictures. I can eat cereal commercial.

It's crazy.

When we used to bring in those fucking headshots, it was so demeaning They'd throw it in a pile, and you were like, That cost me $4.

Yeah.

They'd throw it away. You'd get stacks of them in your fucking car.

I was around when your agent would call you and go, You have an audition tomorrow. Okay, cool. All right, come pick up to the sides. I would go to an alleyway, you know what I mean? They would have a filing thing, and I would have to look up L, Lee, and pull out my… I'd have to drive there. You know what I mean? Then there would be sometimes a line of other actors Once I learned that they were acronyms for agencies, I would make up fake acronyms of an agency.

I'd type in three letters. It'd be like CBF or whatever. Cbf, Creative Agency or whatever. Why would they ever fucking even check? It was just like the guy who was my manager was out of his studio apartment, back to the magic castle.

That's a hack. Yeah.

That works. It got me enough around where I got to sneak into shit. But that's what you have to... I have to staple your headshot to your Resume or whatever. Yeah.

Another thing people would go is like...

Fucking hated that.

Are you in SAG? I'm building up the points or whatever. That was a whole thing. If you were in SAG or not, you know what I mean?

It was a catch-22. You couldn't get a job unless you were in SAG, but you can't get SAG unless you get a job.

Right. Then there was this mysterious thing called Taft Hartley. I don't even know what the fuck that is. Am I even saying it right?

Yeah, Taft. Well, they merged. Aftra and SAG merged. But Taft Hartley was how you got into the back door. That's it, right? Yeah.

Okay, good. Yeah, you did. Yeah, thank you so much.

Inside baseball talk.

But the truth is, if the director really wants you, they'll find a way to get you into SAG to do the movie. It just costs a little more money. It's a little more hassle.

That happened at Mark Palmington, the guy that directed the first thing I ever did when the studio I worked at as a PA, I got this role to deliver Luke Wilson a pizza, and then they overshot. And the PA, I did 13 hours in a trailer, just sitting, waiting, sitting, waiting, excited, excited. The PA came and was like, Cutting your scene. Good night. And I was like, Oh, my God. Fucking killed me, dude. And then Mark Pelenton was smoking a cigarette. By the way, that director Mark Pelenton, famously directed, if I'm not wrong, Jeremy, Pearl Jam's Jeremy. I think that was-Great song. I think that's what he did. Looked that up. But he was smoking a cigarette or something or hanging out by the trailers, and he was like, Oh, I heard they fucking cut your shit. I was like, Yeah. And then I He wanted to be like, Didn't you cut my shit?

Yeah, they. Where's they?

And then he was like, We'll get you back, dude.

We'll get you back. Lie, lie.

No, he was true. They brought me back as a hospital orderly, and they gave me a line. I was like, Sir, you can't be out of your room.

Wait, that's you?

No, that's-Mana is the word. That's Jeremy.

That's Jeremy. No, but he was cool, man. That was a fucking really rad thing. But you need those little tiny moments sometimes to give you a little bit more hope. Because after that, I thought, Fuck, man. I was so excited to have one line to maybe get in the union to be able to get another job. That's a huge thing.

That dude did a big favor. Talking about that and about borderlands, sorry to bring it back, but it made me think of a story about how I met Kevin Hart years before we did Jumanji together, and it was just a general meeting. He was new and up and coming, and he was going around. We were at the same agency, and he was going around meeting all the different people at the agency to just talk about maybe developing something. We had a good meeting, just hitting it off, talking about things that we liked. Then years later, I got that call to do Jumanji, and it was Kevin. I know it was Kevin that got me into that room because even though I had a lot of success before Jumanji, I was in a little bit of a dip, and I was like, God, I got to get another gig. I remember thinking that Kevin Hart, he's a stand-up guy. He's a great guy. He said we were going to work together, and he went out of his way, I believe, and made it happen, which is cool.

You even think you've been in dips?

Yeah, that's the thing. No matter how good it goes, this industry is a fucking Leviathan, and you never know when it's going to end. You see it all the time. People get a ejected off the roller coaster, and it's such a fun job, and it's such a fun life. The name of the game is Staying in It, and you can feel it as soon. Because if you're in a wave of like, I'm getting lots of gigs. This is going fucking great. It's gangbusters. You can almost go like, Fuck, I can't wait for a break. When is the Google calendar going to be empty so I can just chill? But then as soon as it gets empty and you don't have anything on the horizon, there's a panic. Oh, yeah. Ice cold water in the vein. It's like, Oh, fuck. I got to get something. Yeah, you get those moments. I I think everybody has-Well, I'm glad to hear that.

We're glad to hear that you get them. Yeah, because I get them all the time.

That's how we feel all the time.

Where I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm dead. Yeah, they don't like me. I guess it's the Ken Jong Randall Park show now. Okay.

All right.

I guess the Roni Chan. You'll never be Ken Jong. I'm out. You're out. No, you're right. Also, can I say this? I'm fine. I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. You should be. Yeah, I'm so happy. Yeah, life is good. Yeah. So Borderlands comes out August August ninth.

Borderlands is going to come out August ninth. You must go see this movie. If you're in a theater and you do see the trailer pop up, it does look really good. You're in two scenes.

You're in two scenes.

We've got a scene together where I'm ClapTrap the Robot in the bar, and you're in the bar.

Oh, that's right. I remember now. I turned around.

Now, I was all pre-recorded, so maybe you heard my voice when you were shooting it, or maybe you didn't. I did hear it. Maybe someone was reading Claptrap for me.

I did hear it.

But you were in Bulgaria kicking. Was it Bulgaria?

It wasn't. But I love when you say it. I don't even know where you were. Budapest. Budapest. Budapest. Budapest. Yeah. But I also want to talk about how... Just something about Eli, Ralph. You worked with him with the clock. Yeah, right. You worked with Kate before, too, on that, right? But I just... I've done some things, and I just love that guy as a director because he makes you feel comfortable, man.

Yeah, really fun. Really It's fun to work with.

Yeah.

Also good stories.

Yeah, he's got good stories.

I'll say this one other thing about the movie. It's got vibes that are like, did you ever see Total Recall with Schwarzenegger? It's got that vibes where it's another planet and it's rough and ready. It's like a hard neighborhood world and it's like a desert, and it's It's squash, buckling, and it's death defying and kick-ass. A lot of good explosions.

So you saw the movie?

Oh, yeah. Don't be jealous. It's not just because I got a sneak a peak. I'm sorry.

He's famous.

I know, but he saw the movie.

No, dude. He's a full-on famous. No, I saw it, but it still had the numbers on the bottom and the thing and the watermark, so I'd be in trouble.

But you saw from beginning to end.

I would have forwarded it to you, but I couldn't. It had the watermark. Yeah.

You do know he recorded it. He's been selling it.

All right.

He's been bootleg.

I'm glad you said that because I don't know what the movie is going to be like.

It's going to be great. We're all going to go together.

You're going to come?

We're going to have a family outing. I think it's going to be amazing.

It's got that road warrior-like post-apocalyptic vibe. I'm excited.

I'm really excited about it. Do you have anything else you want to plug that coming up?

I did a little movie called Minecraft, but that's not going to be tell me next year.

You did it based on the video game?

I only do video games, dude. I just basically do whatever my sons tell me.

Now, Minecraft, how is that going to be a movie?

Exactly.

Oh, we have to figure it out.

Well, it's not obvious. It's like, That can't be a movie. Can it? Yeah. Can it? Yes, it can.

It can. Wow.

What's that going to be like? Yeah. That's harder to describe. I'm not even going to try. Oh, really? But it's a combo of live-action. It's me. It's not a cartoon. Yeah. And animated animated the world of Minecraft. You see it when you play it. There's humans. What's another movie like that? Roger Rabbit? Tron. Tron? Yeah, closer to Tron. It's pretty rad and it's pretty funny. My old pal, Jared Hess, who directed Nacho Libre. Is that the helm? Oh, wow.

Napoleon Dynamite, too, right?

Napoleon Dynamite, if you need them. Jason Mamoa, it's me and him, and some great kids. Yeah, look for that next year, probably around April 1st-ish.Wow.

Dude.yeah. That's fucking awesome.

Danielle Brooks, amazing, and the Color Purple recently. She kicks ass as well. Also great singer, that Danielle Brooks.

She's in this, too? Yeah. Jesus.

There might be a tiny little bit of music, but I don't know what I'm allowed to say. It's one of those where they don't want you to talk to. You wrote some of the soundtrack? I mean, I'm saying there might be, so I'm not going to get in trouble for anything.

We'll wait and see. Minecraft. I've never played the game because I do love simulation game.

I am building rocks and shit and playing fucking Minecraft. That might not be a song. It's going to be PG.

I don't know. Should I play it?

Minecraft? Yeah.

Because I like building worlds. I like building, but it's so blocky. I don't even know how it works.

Dude, it's really It's fun, but it is like learning a language. You got to spend some time learning the world. I did it because my boys were deep into Minecraft for a long time, and I wanted just to speak of their language. So I learned how to do it, and then I got into it. It's like architectural. You will be building buildings and digging tunnels and making progress.

But do you raid other... Is there combat in it or what?

There is fighting at night time. If you get caught outside, outside outside of a shelter, you will have to scrape and scrap to survive. There will be zombies. There will be exploding thingies. I can't remember what they're called. Creepers.

Creepers.

This is true. Fighting should only be at night, by the way. That makes the most sense. Yeah. Daytime is for chilling out. What do you mean? Nighttime is for fight. What do you mean? Why don't fight? There shouldn't be daytime battles in these games. It should be only at night. It's cooler, it's sexy, or it's darker. I guess you're right. Yeah. Night fight, dude. Night fight.

We're in a silent hill.

Yes.

You guys all remember or no.

Yeah, the video game.Silen Hill.

When it first came out, it was so fucking scary. Because it was the first game where it was foggy.

And there was just creatures that would come run out at you, and it was scary and jumpy.

And you I have a... I forgot what you had, but you had an apparatus. But there was an elementary school there.

You were not supposed to go over there, remember?

I know. My parole offer says that. No, but there's little kids, like demons and stuff. I found that to be so fucking scary. You know what I mean? There he is.

Anyway. Looks like Michael Sarah.

Yeah, a little bit like Michael Sarah. He could play in the movie Silent Hill.

Yeah. Jack, I want to say, number one, what a pleasure to have you on.

Truly.

Because we didn't know how it was going to go.

Me neither. I was scared.

No, but it was probably the best time I've had.

It was so good.

Since MCG was in here last week. No, I mean, everything's different, but this was like… It felt like you were already a part of the ecosystem of podcasting. It felt like having Shane Gillis or somebody on. It just felt natural. You know how to add information, and you're silly, and it was just a blast. If you ever need to plug anything, you're always welcome back.

Hey, how about this? If it ever comes a time when all three of us have empty Google calendars, we get together and we fucking come up with some shit.

I like this a lot.

You know what I mean? That's what happens. You circle the wagons.

I'm going to circle it, too.

We'll circle the wagons over a cheeseburger, which would be really nice.

That'd be really nice.

It'd be fun, even if the Google calendar is not him.

I want to be in a Western.

I hear you.

And I want to be opium den guy.

Wait a second. Is there an opium den in the Western?

What do you mean? In Deadwood and all these towns? Oh, right. Remember in fucking once Once in a Time in America with Robert De Niro. Do you remember that one?

You're a cinophile.

It's like a Sergio Leone. Not Sergio Leone. It was- Sergio Leone. Was it Sergio Leone? Yeah.

It was a prequel to Once upon a Time in Hollywood. Yeah.

There was that opening, right? Make this way, Mr. Jordan. You know what I mean? I always wanted to play the opium thing, guys. You know what I mean? Yeah. But then- You can do it. What? You can do it. I think I can do it.

What's going on in that tent?

We have our opium straight from China, my friend.

Really got an opium from China? No. Me and my friend here travel a long way. It's weed.

It's Mexican weed.

Is this fucking brick weed? You gave me brick weed? Yeah. Me and my boy didn't come all the way here for brick weed.

Anyway, Jack, thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being here.

Anytime.

Thank you so much. Give Jack Black around.Thank you, Jack.Thank you, guys. That was fucking amazing.

Awesome. That was so fun.

Loved it..