Merch. We got merch and check this hat out. I've been wearing on stage. Have you seen me?

Look at this, dude. Look at this shirt. This is the OG shirt. The OG design is back and also Bad Friends on the back. In the back. The cute little faces on the front, Bad Friends on the back. Go to badfriendsmerch. Com. We also have coffee mugs for people that like coffee and beautiful beanies in a couple of different colors. But go get some OG merch. We're releasing new stuff as we go. Bob and I are in a competition to see who can design the best shirt. But for now, you want the OG original stuff. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Get this for someone that you love. Go to badfriendsmerch. Com. Com, badfriendsmerch. Com.

Hey, guys, we're on tour. We're going to go to Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Minnesota. What happened to Minnesota?

Every day for a summer.

Every day for a summer. Minneapolis, Minnesota. Then we go to Madison, Wisconsin to end this year. Madison, Wisconsin and Minneapolis. Next year we're bouncing around. Atlantic City, Salt Lake City, Tameculah, Reno, Sacramento.

Sacramento, Long Beach.

Long Beach.

Snoop Dogg. Windsor, Ontario, bro.

Windsor, Ontario, Canada. Then we go to Niagara Falls, Tucson. And where do we end 4:20? I can't take us to Nevada. You got to come see us. Go to badfriendspa. Com. Badfriendspa. Com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.

Hey, happy birthday.

I'm.

Zoro. I'm Monkey. Is his name Monkey? Monkey D.

Monkey. Monkey-what? -i can't get this on my head.

It's okay, kiddo. Help flip the...

Hold on. I'll be over.

No, you're fine. You did this and you put it out. There it is. Monkey L. Monkey D. Lufie. Monkey L. Monkey D. Lufie. Monkey Lufie. Monkey Lufie. Monkey Lufie. Monkey Lufie. Monkey de Lufie, Monkey de Lufie, Monkey de Lufie. Happy birthday. Look at a one-piece blanket for the tools.

One-piece blanket for you.

Are you excited?

Yeah.

It's the best.

We got you a gift down there.

We have the script for the two-piece. Yeah. Yeah, two-piece and three-piece, and it's.

Going to be- Your one-piece, two-piece, three-piece.

Can you guys do your famous lines?

Oh, yeah. You're ready?

Yeah. Do you know?

I practice it. All right?

Okay. To the.

Window, to the.

Walls, till.

Zoro's got big balls. Oh, these one-piece crawl. That's not it. Carlos, that's what he sent me.

This is what he sent me. I live on the treetops with my Montgomery Ward pass.

Yeah. Is that not it? What's my famous line? That's not the line. What's my famous line?

That's the beginning he sent Montgomery Ward. Yeah, that's why Jack said that.

He betrayed me. What is the line I'm supposed to say?

Yeah.

What's the line? You have three swords. You attack with three swords.

Three is on that. Who holds the third one? My dick?

Mouth.

I hold it in my mouth? I go. Yeah.

How can he say his line with the mouth.

I don't know. Zoro says it.

What? Zoro says it? What does Zoro says?

Santorial.

Santorial.

Santorial. What does Monkey Man?

You say, Gama gama, buzzucca.

Gama gama, buzzucca.

Santorial. Santorial. Santorial. Santorial. Santorial. Shut up, dude.

I'm doing it.

Yeah, yeah. Centorio.

Gamma, gama, Kutcha. What was mine?

Gamma Gamaazuca. Okay, I got.

It right here. Hold on. Gamma Gama Kutcha.

Go ahead. Santorial.

Gamma Gamaazuca.

Your hand stretches really far.

Because you're a rubber. You got a big finger.

Oh, my finger or my hand?

Any.

Any? Okay, right.

We'll do it again here, ready? You got to make it serious. We are. He's serious. Santoro.

I've got my buzzuca.

If that's not it, now clap for us. Happy birthday, Rudy Jules. What did you get in the bag there? How old are you today? 40?

22.

I feel so old. Those lines in your face are bad. You do look old. It's nazica. I don't.

Believe you got this. This is from Andres.

No way. That's from me and Bob.

We went to this fucking bitch. We went to the store yesterday. We went to Little Tokyo.

Little Tokyo. No. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. We went to Little.

Tokyo.

Yesterday, dude. Santol. This is the best.

What is it?

It's Nazika. It's Nazika.

That's great. I remember I picked that. No, you did.

He picked that.

First edition. It's the first one they printed.

Isn't that incredible?

Thank you, Andres. Okay.

Dude, that's so great.

That's so disrespectful.

It's so disrespectful.

I know, Andres.

Got this for you. Okay, could I also say this? In the car, she goes, You know... She goes, I'm a loser. I have no friends. Do you not say anything like, I have no friends? I go, Well, you're friends with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino. That's not.

Good enough. Pretty huge, I would say.

I would say it's pretty fucking huge, dude.

You also have a- Zoro. -and you also- -Zoro. -santoro.

Where's Gamma? Come on, dude. I'm going to see the doll if I don't have it.

Oh, wait. When I do mind, you do have to.

Do that.

I know.

But I can't. Santoro. Gamma, Gamma,azuca. Another Zoro. Oh, it's the best.

Relax. Relax. Happy birthday.

Okay, let's see. There's no Gamma, Gamma. And another Zoro. Sun total. Yo, dog, where's the Gamma Gamma? Monkey, Monkey. I thought she would want to Zoro only not Monkey. Why am I dressed.

This then? Bobby, we were the ones that brought those gifts.

I know. We were the ones that bought.

Those gifts. We left at the store.

Yes. I bought four of them. We left at the store. We had.

To go get it. How happy are you today?

10 out of 10.

10 out of 10. Good gift giving.

Good gift, gift, big gift.

Let me say this to you. Now let's transition back into the show. Enough of her nonsense. You're pissed off at Carlos and because your best friend, Andrew, okay?

Can I say this too?

It's so funny.

I don't know if we have to air this. Yeah. You, man. What? That fucking Zoom meeting, you made me like a fool. You have another one of my things. You made me look like.

A fool. Why?

Don't ever do that again. Well, then- Now they think I'm a fucking asshole.

No. For the fans, no. We are creating new merch shirts, my edition and Bob's edition. We're going to see which one you guys like the most. All we had to do was call a 10-minute Zoom with the merch company to pitch what we wanted our editions to be our special edition. How did he mess that up?

What's.

Wrong?

What's up?

What happened? What happened? What do you mean? What happened on the Zoom that you are mad at him? Yeah, he did it. What did he do?

He set it up.

Why are you mad?

I wasn't ready.

Okay, we've known about it.

For weeks. I told him. For weeks. I told him I wasn't ready.

You told.

Him you weren't ready. I told him I was not ready. I wasn't ready because you have to do it. I'm not ready. Got it. Then he puts me in the Zoom. Now they think I'm an asshole. I know this happened. I know that after I was off, you had to apologize on my behalf. I don't know. I'm sorry, guys. Not at all. They're so used to work with artists. I don't like the way he just said that. You know what he just said? They're so used to working with- Primeadana.

-primadana. Yeah, Prime Madana.

Difficult people. Is that what you're saying? That's what he said. I wasn't being difficult. You fucked me and you put me in a difficult situation. You have another one on Monday. This coming Monday. That's tomorrow. Yeah, because of you. What time? At 1:00 PM.

I can't hear you that well when you're not talking.

At 1:00 PM, it's in your calendar. Yeah, you're going to have to push it. I don't know it. I don't.

Know anything yet. It's the middle of the night, 1:00 PM.

But he chose the time. Yeah, you're going to push it to Tuesday. Okay. Honestly, push it to Tuesday. I don't know that... See?

Hold on. Chill, chill, chill. Oh, no. Sandoru!

Let me just say it. I want to say this, okay? I want to say this, okay? Yes. Don't act like I'm having the attitude, okay? You're having the attitude, all right? I'm just being me. I'm not ready.

We're really taking it away from her birthday.

Happy birthday! Come on, come on. Happy birthday! Listen, you're 22.

Two.

That's amazing. You have no friends in America, you said. You're just working constantly. Who is that?

Oh, my God. Wow. Sorry.

No, you have to answer.

You have to answer.

You have to answer it. It's Matas.

Answer it.

Speaker.

Matas. No, Pukus podcast. Oh, no.

Pukus podcast. No pukus podcast. No pukus podcast. Huh? Show us. Show us. Sandoru. No pukus podcast.

Okay, bye, Matas.

Bye. She didn't want.

To see us. She didn't want to see us at all. She was so, oh.

My God. So upset.

We have something else for her. Oh, shit.

It's Jollybee spaghetti. Jollybee spaghetti. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. That's enough. That's all. No, she's getting the whole song. That's insane. Okay, then. You have to make a wish. Mccone, good job lighting seven of the 10 candles. Close your eyes. Hold on. Got to make it up. No, let her have the other ones unlit. That's symbolic. What did you wish for? Nothing. Good. Well, you got it. Let her eat the spaghetti.

You have to manifest something, man.

Yeah, you got to manifest friends.

Manifest something, man.

Why don't you manifest a little bit of friendship here in the.

United States? Just close your eyes right now and manifest something.

Okay. Try it again. Think. We'll all think together for you. Okay. Okay.

What did you think?

Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends.

Four of them.

That's it. Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends. Five. That's good.

Five friends? That's great.

Let's hope you get a friend.

It'd be like to show friends, six people.

Well, five now. I'm sorry. It was right there.

That was.

So good, dude. I'm sorry. It was right there. I set you up. That was great. I'm sorry. It was right there.

Yeah, five.

Five people. You know what? What? Okay.

Santol. I got to take this out.

No, you have to leave it on. It's for her birthday. I hate it.

You're the captain. He loves.

The hat. Just move it back out of your eyes a little bit. There you go. Good? Yeah. Good boy.

Yeah, yeah. Wait, what captain?

He's the captain of his ship, the pirate.

How many people are on the ship?

There's you, Zoro, Nami, Sanji.

You're saying five or six people?

Chopper, Brooke, Frankie, Jimbae.

Can you handle that responsibility? That's a lot of people on your ship.

No, but- Can I kick Jimbae off?

But you….

Lufie is really irresponsible, so you're the same.

Wait, wait, wait. What?

Lufie, the captain. So the captain is an irresponsible captain? Yeah, he doesn't do the captain.

Wait, I thought I was the captain.

You are.

You're Lufie.

I'm Lufie, too.

Your name is Lufie. What's a monkey part?

That's his name.

Lufie, the monkey.

Monkey D. Lufie.

Oh, Monkey D. Lufie.

My bad. Isn't that it? Monkey D. Lufie. Yeah.

What I was saying is that being a captain of an eight-man ship doesn't seem that important.

I don't know, dude.

Double than Tiger Bradley. Wow.

We got to turn off that.

Guy's mic.

Here's the deal.

You know what? I'm not doing that fucking meeting.

Thanks, I'm not doing the meeting. Thanks, Fancy.

Yeah, go ahead. What's the deal?

Are you excited to eat your spaghetti? Your Jollybee spaghetti?

Yeah, and I even have the peach.

Mango pie. We each got a peach mango pie from Jollybee. Thank you to the boys. A very good birthday to Rudy Jules. Now, in effort to exercise your anger, being your best friend on planet Earth, what I've done is something very special. Look over to your right, Carlos. Look over to your right. You look to the left. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

There's a mirror. Because there's camera left, right there.

No, I said, look to your right.

Look to your right, kiddo. But I've been on sets before, so I just.

Want- Camera left.

Okay, go ahead.

You see that thing that McCona is holding in his hand? Yeah. This is great. Because you were upset at Carlos and I wanted to make up for how angry you were at this idiot and you wanted to fire him, you didn't want him back. I said, You have to make up for the fact that you guys shocked him. That is a butt plug that is remote controlled. He is going to put that in his tush. At any time during the show, you're allowed to make it go off.

Number one, I have to see it go in.

Yeah, duh.

First of all, before it goes in, I need it to see if the remote control works.

You can feel and test it. Mccone, get.

Over here. Bring it over, man. Okay.

When we do segments like this, it does remind me why I don't want anybody to watch this show. Like Family. I just can't have anybody watching it. There's an app.

For it. There's an app.

You can feel it. There we go. Let me feel it. -and there's all different sensations.

But it feels good, though. It's going.

To feel good to him. I don't think so. Okay. That whole thing's going in his butt.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

That's real good. Put it up to the mic so they can hear it when it... Yeah, that's good.

He.

Can move it around, too.

Oh, yeah. Can I just do something real quick?

Yikes.

I want one of these.

You can have it when the day is done.

Okay, good. How does it charge? Can I have this? Okay, great.

I have the plug. How funny is that? When Bobby asks for a brand new charged vape, he'll also want this charge. You're like, Carlos, my butt plug. Is it charged?

Let me bend over and put this in. Turn this off first. It's on still on. Wait, Carlos, don't you have to clean your butt? What do you mean clean your butt? There's going to be pool.

Is it off? It's off.

What do you mean? He wants to go all the way. You want him to clean the actual tube? Yeah, inside. I don't think that's how it works. Yeah, bend over and want to see. Go in. This party is for patron. The honest to this, I wasn't really that mad about it.

Yeah, you weren't even that mad? About the thing. Was it worth putting a butt plug in him that vibrates?

I don't think so because I think deep down he likes it.

He's into it. This was the way for him to just get us to pay for a butt plug.

Yeah.

That's really what that was. Yeah.

What's the matter? Happy birthday, by.

The way. Happy birthday. That was.

The gift?

Yeah. You didn't like that gift? You don't think that was gift worthy?

I don't think I can eat my spaghetti.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

I got to take it out and put it outside. Says who?

Why?

The captain. Santoro. Come on, come on.

Come on, come on, Bazuca. Why? I thought it was going to be in the whole show. Oh, I thought you're going to vibrate, though. I thought it's- No, just keep it in. Just keep it in, dude. It feels good. I like the idea it's there, a home. It's home. I don't like it. Homeless. Okay.

It's where.

It belongs. Fucking hate this thing.

Just put on the strap on your chin. There you go. Okay. This is for her birthday.

I know, you're right. I'm doing it for her birthday.

Do you feel like this is everything you've ever wanted for your birthday?

Yeah, this is the best.

Good. You're saying that the popular kids in college don't like you?

No, I'm just saying I don't think I can relate.

In what way? What do they talk about that you can't relate to?

They're just so… You know how I'm always tired and I'm always so sleepy? Yeah. Then them, they're just alive and they know the trendy things.

Oh, give me a trendy thing. A shoe?

What is it? What's trendy? I don't know.

Right now they went to camp Flogna.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Tile the creators concert. Yeah. I know that. Camp Flugna.

You didn't go? No. Were you invited?

No, because I don't know any of the...

What? I don't know any. You don't know any of the artists, any of the performers.

Like that. I'm not cool like that.

I see.

Okay. But you're cool in your own little way.

Yeah.

You've got your own cool things. You like One Piece?

Yeah. If One Piece was in-.

I would go.

Lake mango? What's itLake Mongo. What's it called? Lake Mongo?

Flogna? Oh, Flugna. One piece of cartoon.

What's Lake Mongo?

No, Flugna is a-.

What's Lake Mongo? Morongo is what you're thinking. No, Lake Mongo is something.

What are you talking? There's no Lake Mongo.

There's a Lake Mongo, dude. I've heard of Lake Mongo. It's a movie. I've been there.

It's a movie. Lake Mongo from Australia.

Oh, yeah, that's true. It's a horror movie. I might have to poop soon. All right, take it out.

I think you just think that way.

Yeah, just take it out. Just take it out.

Just take it out. Well, have McCone take it out with.

You in the bathroom and take it out. Yeah, go take it out. The last couple of podcasts has been weird. Very.

Is it us? No. Well, this is very weird, but this was fun. But you wanted payback to the guy he shocked you. I know. We thought you'd be shocking him during the show with that. But I got to tell you, he liked it way too much.

Yeah. Go take it out, dude. I am. I'm just looking for something. What's the matter? I don't know. You're COVID?

No, it's just I keep thinking of his pool. Yeah.

No, I get it. I get it. I get it.

Are you guys into anal stuff?

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Have you tried? No. My counselor says, No, no, no. You don't like that stuff. No, no, no, you don't like.

That stuff. My priest, I go, I don't like it.

He goes, Oh.

Come on. Come on. I don't like it.

Come on. I'm probably from the Holy Spirit.

I know, but I don't want to get into heaven.

I know that was disturbing, but I do want to see you eat that spaghetti because there's delicious Jollybee spaghetti. Enjoy the spaghetti for your birthday, for.

Your 22nd birthday. How old is it, though?

The spaghetti? Yeah. They got it this morning at 7:00 AM. That's still fine. Enjoy it. Yeah, it's not that bad. It's a day old.

One day. Now, is the spaghetti in America different than the one in the Philippines?

This one's like sweet spaghetti. That's like the thing in the Philippines.

They put sugar in the...

But in America, they don't put the sugar?

I don't know the recipe, but it's a sweet spaghetti. Have you tried it?

No. No. No, thank you. Definitely no, thank you.

But is the McDonald's different in the Philippines?

I don't know. I haven't tried the McDonald's there in years.

Are the McDonald's up in the trees or are they at ground level? Up in the trees. You got to go get it, huh? That's why everyone stays skinny. That's too...

It takes too long. Also, is Ronald McDonald's makeup just running down? Because it's so.

Humid.

There. Is it-.

Sweaty Ronald McDonald's? Yeah, he.

Looks like the joker, probably.

He does, yeah. My soul's hideous. My soul's idiot. Ronald McDonald's joker. My soul's hideous. Hit me.

Insane. Insane. Yeah, the Batman in the Philippines is supposed to be the big bat. It's a gigantic bat, Batman.

It's a bat village. Yeah. Was it good? The spaghetti, Jollybee?

Really good.

Well, happy, happy, 22nd birthday. Happy, bat, 22ndMorgan.

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I'm hurt. What do I do? Who do I turn to?

Morgan and Morgan.

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Let's do positives. Positives, though. Let's say things that we feel about Jules.

I think that's good. Okay, I'm glad you're a part of the Bad Friends family. All those years ago, three years ago was it now?

Since the beginning. Almost four.

Almost four years. Four years. We're having our 200th episode. Amazing. That's going to come up in the new year and surprise.

For the- We've done 200 of these?

We will be.

Oh, my God.

We're going to be going to Vegas to celebrate. For the holidays, we're going to do a holiday party. We're having a nice dinner.

I can't wait. Listen, can I say what I want to say?

I.

May never have children. Why are you laughing? I may never have children. Even for that, I may never have a daughter. But I think you've given me a glimpse into maybe what it might be like. It's been a fucking disaster. No, I know it's been great watching you grow. You're a hard worker. You're a nice kid. I love you so much. Thank you to God.

What do you think, Mom? Go ahead. I may never have children. And if I ever do get to have one-.

Don't go.

Racial then. I hope to God she's not brown. You're a great young lady now. You're growing up on our show, which is crazy. Crazy. You're an adult. And I hope the future is so bright for you. And I hope you get to stay in America much longer. Because I know when Trump gets back in again, he is going to change around some of those rules. Yeah.

He is.

Going to probably remove. I mean, the Philippines is probably the first to go, don't you think? Yeah. They got to go.

But.

I want to stay.

I know, but that's just Trump's rules, baby. You got to get behind the T.

We're going to have to marry McCone.

What's marry McCone?

Oh, McCone? Who's mayor McCone?

She said, you have to marry McCone.

Well, you could marry McCone just for the green card. Yeah, for the green card. To stay.

Yeah. Can I.

Just hide?

You'd rather hide like Helen Keller.

Like Elian Gonzalez. Look what happened to him. They ended up finding him.

Was Helen Keller hiding? What girl.

That was hiding? Was Helen Keller hiding? No, Helen Keller was blind and deaf. You're talking about Anne Frank.

Anne Frank. Anne Frank.

She was hiding. By the way, Helen Keller was deaf and blind. Often she was hiding without knowing it. I don't know. She was just hiding all the time. People just didn't know.

I mixed the two up.

How? They're nothing alike.

They're both girls.

One of them is deaf and blind and the other- I.

Know, but they're both girls.

Yeah, they're both ladies. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, that's going to be you. That's Alien Gonzales. That's Alien. Why do you have Alien.

Gonzales up there? Well, she said she wanted to hide. That's what's going to happen if you hide from the feds. During the Trump era, they're going to come find you in all those clothes.

Is that too much, you think?

I don't know.

I just think there's a little over board. But why do.

They have the guns?

Well, you never know what that kid's going to do, that Elian Gonzales. That kid, he came over on a raft. He could have knives all over his body. Dude, Zoro has three knives. You don't think Elian could have multiple knives?

But he's not illegal.

Santoro..

Okay. Is that him now?

He's hot. That's him now, yeah.

What did you say he's hot? I said he's hot, dude. Is the butt plug still in?

I think he's a good looking guy.

Yeah, he's a good looking dude. He's pretty good looking. But it's gross that that's where you went to.

I'm.

Glad he's alive. Is he in Cuba?

Yeah, he became a lawmaker there, apparently.

Oh, really? That's pretty actually smart.

We probably became famous when he came back.

He was very famous.

Very famous. He was famous here. We know him.

Should we get him on this podcast?

That'd be great. I would love to have him on this podcast.

Oh, no, Fancy doesn't like that. He doesn't like Cubans. You don't like Cubans? You know how they're the Spanish. They're so racist towards every other Latin community. Yeah.

He goes to teach how to float on those.

On a raft? Yeah. Do you think he still got raft skills?

I think he's a dude. He went from Cuba to here, right?

That's so far.

That's so far. Being a kid? He's got skills, dude.

I mean, how far is it from Cuba to Florida? Okay, there you go.

Twelve days. Twelve days. What would you need?

On 12 days on a raft?

Yeah, I would probably get the bottle water from Air One. I need a couple of those.

You need a $30 bottle of water? Yes, I need two of them. Smart. Right? But they're heavy.

Yeah, very heavy.

Okay.

Glass. Okay. Yeah, I'm willing.

You think for 12 days.

You could- Two vapes. Two vapes. How many vapes?

Two? Six or seven. Right.

But you have to charge them before I go. Yeah, me. Yeah, you have to charge them, right? Sugar-free Red Bull, for sure.

How many? A dozen. Twenty-four. Oh, my God.

Okay. Two dozen. Okay, great. What else would I need? I would need- Two a day.

That makes sense.

Uncle Polly.

You got to have a sandwich.

A bunch of them.

You have limited- The BLT? -limited weight, though, in this thing. If you put too much in there.

The rest- Well, I'm not going to bring my fucking Switch.

Really?

Yeah, I'm not playing Star Dew Valley out there, dude.

Really? What are you going to do? What are you doing all day? All right, I'll bring it. Yes, you are. I'll bring my Switch. That's the first thing I.

Thought you'd bring. I'll bring my Switch. What else would I bring? I have to bring... Do you get internet out there?

Of course. Starlink, dude. Thanks to Elon. Oh, really? It's everywhere.

All right, so I can bring.

My iPad. Of course you can.

And a portable charger, so I can jerk off. Right. Right. So I could.

Still get on the porn hub. Imagine that the Navy is like, we see him down there. Oh, my God. We can't rescue him yet. You're giving them one second.

One second. One second. Right.

I don't want to get rescued.

Imagine that moment where I lose the switch in the water. What would you bring?

Water.

What kind?

It's very important. Mountain Valley, baby. Bottle. My favorite.

I know, but it's- You made fun of me about my bottle.

Yeah, but yours is $30. Mine's 30 for two cases of them.

Okay, so you bring two?

Two.

Two bottles? Okay, good.

I would bring... I'm trying to think. Food? I think pizza would last the longest because pizza you can eat it warm or cold. It doesn't matter. Sandwich is going to be nasty when it's sitting in the sun. Remember, you're out in the sun. Right. It's baking you. That sandwich is going to get nasty.

Not if you use elvin bread.

Elfin bread?

Elvin.

Bread. Elephant bread?

Elvin.

Who's Elvin?

Do you remember when Frodo and Sam, why he does Gamgey? They survived on elvin bread?

That's not part of this world, buddy.

For five months, dude. You know what? Elvin bread, too, when you eat it, dude, that's the bread, right? It keeps you full for days.

Do you turn into what he is? A good.

Looking white dude? Yeah.

Is that a good looking white dude?

Orlando Bloom?

Yeah. Orlando Bloom, not like that. I don't think that's a hot version of Orlando Bloom.

You're just looking at the fucking ears. Anyway, you're fucking an asshole. Just go back to what you're going to do. Water? What? Pizza. Okay, that's it?

Probably. I mean, to be honest, I probably would bring a flashlight. Bring a flashlight.

To joke off?

Yeah.

But no porn?

No, just use the brain.

Oh.

You're brain down. Well, you're out at sea. You're probably disillusioned. You're probably going to see what is it called? Like, Mirages and stuff like that. Oh. You may see.

The- Master me to a.

Mountain or something. Well, yeah, the clouds may be big, huge boobes.

I see Cezars Palace and you just... Because you know how something is in Vegas? I go, Oh, we go walk to Cezars Palace and then three days later you're still not there. Yeah, you know.

You never get there.

Yeah, it's how far is Cezars? Are you all right? Four miles. Those fucking casinos are so.

Fucking far, dude. They don't want you to.

Leave, baby. Yeah, but you think it's...

Anyway, go ahead. Pizza, flesh.

Light, water. Water. What else?

Then a pillow. I want a pillow.

I know what kind. My pillow.

Yeah, the.

My pillow. Yeah, the Mike.

Mike Lindell. I want Mike Lindell in the boat with me. Yeah. Just screaming out all sorts of conspiracy theories.

I write down all the conspiracy theories. Yeah.

What's your favorite so far of Mike Lindell's?

Of his conspiracy theories? The Hugo Chavez, this is not one of them? Argentina and all these other countries that have something to do with?

I like Michelle Obama as a man. That's my favorite. Do you not know this? I know that. Michael Obama? You don't know about this? No. This is so good.

What do you mean?

There's a lot of these guys that believe in this that Michelle Obama is just a dude.

It's so fucking fucked up.

It's so fucking funny to me. It's funny. It's so funny. They believe in it deeply. They're like, Show me a picture of her pregnant. They have pictures of her... They have pictures of her walking and they have an outline that they say is a penis. It's so funny, dude.

But it's mean.

It's mean-spirited. I know, but it's a conspiracy theory.

Let me ask you something, Melania Trump or Michelle Obama?

Melania Trump.

Racist.

That's not why. You piece of shit. No, I just like cold Eastern Europeans.

Yeah.

You're right. They're cold. After you hook up with her.

She's like- No cuddle.

No cuddle? Yeah. She barely wants to touch you. That's great. That's amazing. When she's done, she's like-.

Michelle is just like, Come here, baby.

Michelle wants to have a conversation. Come here, baby.

Michelle.

Is an intellect. She would want to converse with you.

Don't you want that?

No. What? Get out of here.

Michelle Obama seems like the person, if you were fucking playing your PlayStation, two days in, she goes, Give me that, and throws it off the.

Fucking balcony.

Melania doesn't give a fuck.

She's not even there. She's not there. She doesn't even know what it is. As soon as you guys are done having sex, she's just like, I go now. You're like, No, you don't have to. She's like, I want to.

You're.

Making me sick.

Oh, my God.

She's pretty hot. How hot is that if she said that to you? Right after you have sex? Yeah. You're making me sick.

I would go, Let's fuck again.

I.

Just reloaded. But what about, okay, Melania or Vanca?

Vanca. Why? For sure. Why? I don't know.

I don't know what it is. Me, too. She testifies well. She's in the pocket.

She's cool. She does. All right, Lauren Bowbert, the.

Girl who- I know Lauren.

Colorado. Or A-O-C.

In what way, though?

To date. Oh, to date? Yeah, this is your girlfriend now.

A-o-c to date. Really? Yeah, one.

Night stand? No chance. Bowbert. She's so much more fun. I'd want to date her.

She's a lunatic. It's embarrassing. It's awesome. I love Hamilton.

You're going to get kicked out with her. First of all, you, of all people, you're not staying through a whole play. You know how great that is? She causes a scene, you get kicked out.

It's great. But it's embarrassing. I'm going to go, Hey, don't vape now. She's vape. Don't vape now.

You're vaping, too.

Not in the show of Hamilton.

Yes, you would. If you could get away with it, you would. You'd vape and blow it in your shirt. I've been with you in places where they.

Tell us not to vape. I got kicked out of El and John. Do you guys know that?

For vaping?

No, I was drunk.

What did you just yell? Gay or something? In the middle of a song?

He's like, This.

Is.

Your song. I'm going to say what I did. I spent $850 on the front row in Vegas.

They kick you out. I was so drunk, and he just stood behind this fucking piano at five songs. I just go, This is so boring. I go, Dance.

You yelled, dance at Elton John?

Yeah, because he was sitting behind the piano. He's old.

Yeah, you want to see an old guy, geriatric dance.

Because you're back in the '70s, where he was like, Are you moving his fucking legs over there is the fucking Troubadour. He didn't do any of that, man. It was just like, Comotose. I said, Go dance. Then they pulled me out of the fucking place. Then the talent, he slapped me.

You got physically assaulted by Elton John, talent coordinator.

He's a talent guy. He slapped me. How dare you?

Well, he's right. How dare you?

Well, move your legs.

Well, Elton John's paralyzed. You don't know that? That's what the Crocadale Rock is about. You know Crocadale? His legs are dragged behind him. But I love him. Elton John?

Then years later, I got invited to his birthday party. I never went because of that. He would never have remembered.

Imagine you walk into a birthday party and Elton John is telling a story. He's like, Well, that night and sees you.

All right.

He goes, Dance. Dance. Would you dance.

For him? Yeah, I would dance better than he did.

Well, he didn't at all.

Exactly.

All right.

Let's go back to the float.

All right. I want water, pizza, a fleshlight. Honestly, I need music, but I don't know what I would do.

Make your own.

Okay, so I'd bring a- Ukelele. No, I don't know how to do ukulele. Okay. I'd bring a hang drum.

But aren't you going to attract sharks?

Yeah, they love music. Yeah. I'm a shark. Is that.

Lose that? Yeah, that's what I meant.

I better go see what's going on there. Do you think that's what sharks do?

I don't know. They're just going to hear it and they're going to.

Be curious. All right, me and you are sharks, and we're swimming and we're like, Hey, Marcus.

Yeah, Ted.

Do you hear that up there?

Not really. Oh, is that a ukulele?

Let's go check it out.

Let's go check it out. Oh, my God. It's a red-headed guy playing ukulele.

What's that on his penis? What's that? Contripion.

I think they call that the flesh lie. You know how we fuck dolphins?

Imagine if you got eaten by a shark while you were jerking off. Oh, that'd be terrible. The moment you don't stop. You're just like, What are you going to do?

Did.

They like com or no? No, yeah.

The shark's like blood or com more. Probably-like blood.

-probably both. I think I'd bring as minimal stuff as I could. I would just bring a little bit of food, water, and then something from music to keep myself occupied. Light. What would you bring?

One of those butts?

One of those little butts you could have sex with?

Yeah, because I've never done that before.

So I was just thinking, Oh. I can't believe none of us could last 12 days without.

Sexual stuff. Yeah. Well, you have another butt, but kill two birds with one stone. Make the flotation device a gigantic butt.

That's a good idea.

That ain't yours. Just create something, kill two birds with one stone is what I'm saying. All right, I would just.

Bring.

Yeah, Xanax, and I would make a sex toy out of my raft.

Easy. Doctor Squad. Hey, man, this stuff is so good and so smooth, and it smells so good on.

My skin. I've been using it for literally years because when you go to a store and you buy soap, it smells not as unique and natural.

Like Dr. Squad. That's right. A lot of times you smell new soaps and they're all chemical-y and they're too perfumey, which is like, Is this even getting me clean? This stuff is high performance, natural products, 98% natural, B Corp certified, no harmful ingredients, man. You're going to look, smell, and feel your best with natural soap, my friend.

I get the Wood-Bearer or Bourbon soap, and I smell like Tom Hardie.

That does smell so good. This is cool. On a sunny day, man. This is cool fresh, aloe, and I smell like Tom Cruise. You do? You have Tom Hardie and I'm Tom.

Harvey and not Tom Cruz.

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Air up. Oh, my God. This thing right here is the most amazing, scientific, delicious thing I've ever done.

It's incredible. It's incredible. This is so wild. All you have to do.

Is.

You get these pod packs, and then you clip it on, you take it out, and then you clip it on to the water bottle. No matter what flavor you want, vanilla, orange, swirl, they got mango passion fruit, and you clip it on, you put your regular water in here. By breathing in.

And.

Sucking, your brain thinks you're drinking flavored water, but it's just the nose, the sniff. Your sniff is smelling this beautiful drink.

It literally tastes like a berry drink. It's delicious. It's just water. It's just water. Your nose is doing it and it's incredible.

Honestly, this might be one of the.

Most- Amazing.

-easy, cool, new inventions I think I've ever seen. It makes me mad I didn't think of something like this. Honestly, because I hate drinking regular water. It's annoying. I always want flavors or whatever, but I'm afraid of sugars and all this stuff. You're not getting anything other than a good sniff in your nose and drinking delicious water.

This is incredible.

I really like this. This is genuinely fun.

Also during the holidays, this is a cool gift.

That's a really good gift.

That's a great You have this and then you just have this and boom.

There's so many flavors of pods. There's so many.

Flavors of pods. Yeah, give me some.

Of the flavors. Here, do mango.

Let.

Me try a different one. Yeah, try Orange Vanilla Swirl. This one I like the most. I have that one at home. Sorry, my bad. This has got to be a totally new way to experience water that's not even flavored. It's just flavored in your nose. You're using Airup, elevates the experience of drinking your regular water. I love this man, and I love all the different kinds that they come with. You like that one? This is better.

Than this one. No, they're both good, but wow.

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No, I'm just not sleeping.

That's it. Are you eating bad? -yes. Did you gain some weight? Yes. What's your little bad boy snack that you have because the baby's keeping you up?

I will eat anything.

You'll eat everything that's around. Exactly. Meanwhile, your wife is still skinny, and gorgeous, and beautiful. Right. You didn't have the baby. You know that, right?

This is an.

American theme, but the.

Baby weight goes both ways.

Oh, you think because you're an American, now you're allowed to get out of shape. But your wife maintains a good shape. She's in great shape. Right. Yeah. She exercises and eats healthy. Right. So you think because you're now an American citizen, you're allowed to be fat. Right. It's your right to be a fat slob while she works her ass off. Yes. Wow.

I thought that was what I worked so hard for.

Right. That's why you took that test.

Right. How old is her baby? Nine months. Is her recognition now or no? Yes. She look at you, Oh, there's a porg. Yes, she does that.

How often do you have to update her? Do you have to do an update? Is she connected to Wi-Fi? Every day, yeah.

But she knows who you are? Yes. Oh, that's cool. Does she go tata? I'm talking to her in Spanish only, so no da-da.

What do you say?

What is? Puppy.

Oh, my God, that's so gross. That's worse than dad. Hi, puppy. Hi, puppy. Puppy, chulo. So, puppy is so gross. What does she call your wife? Mama. Mama. Mama, puppy.

Mama, puppy. When you go home today, the baby's going to look at you and go, puppy. Yes. Oh, that's so cute.

No, it's not. It's gross. That's what like... I mean, if she were.

To say it like you said it.

Then I would change. She's going to. Puppy. Hi, puppy. I don't like puppy. I disagree with this. This is the same thing with me and Daddy. I don't like Daddy.

I don't like Daddy.

I don't like Daddy. I don't like... When little girls and their dads, it's like, Daddy, just say dad.

Da-da.

Da-da is good. Or pop or pop pop. Pop pop. Dada. But popy is popy. I don't like it. You're only talking to her in Spanish? Only, yeah.

Your wife is not, though?

No, she's speaking to her in English, so hopefully.

She's going to get bilingual.

Hopefully. Wow!

What a superstar she might turn out to be. Yeah. Isn't that incredible?

Yeah. It's a good one. Has your families met your baby yet? Yeah. When you were to Spain, you brought the baby. That's cool. Coach? Coach. Yeah.

Where did you put the baby in the overhead? Yeah, in the suitcase.

Sir, you have to put your baby in the overhead. Do you.

Buy three seats for the baby, too, or no?

They sit in the lap. The baby gets to sit in the lap.

But you and your wife were sitting together. She has a little bassinet that goes on the plane.

Okay. Would you and your wife like to sit together or do you like to sit separate?

Together.

You sit together? Yeah.

I'd buy three seats, one at the ends and the baby in the middle.

The baby goes on your lap, though.

But sometimes you want to-.

Put it down? Yeah. That's expensive. Just to buy a seat? To buy three first class seats?

No. If I was going to see a couch, I would do... Is that more expensive?

I mean, it's expensive to just buy a seat.

Okay, my bad.

I don't know. I should make it.

More comfortable for you, that's all. Thank you.

Well, do you want to buy his next trip to Spain?

No, I've never met the baby. If I meet the baby, you will never introduce me to the baby.

How about this? If you meet the baby, will you pay for his next trip to Spain?

Yeah, I met George's baby, and he cried.

Right, I'm scared. You are a little shocking.

What do you mean?

You're scared for him to meet the baby? Yeah.

Who would you trust more to babysit your baby? Andrew or me? Well, this is hard. Andrew.

Oh, my God. I didn't even stall.

May I explore this?

Please. It's obvious. Yeah, pretty much.

What is it? What's the obvious part? No, I'm good. Listen, I've had a negative attitude today, and I got into a little slump. But dude, II'm open to hear anything right now, and I really am not going to be argumentative. I want to learn. Okay. May I ask you, please?

I'll give you an example.

Give me an example.

Okay. You wanted to have the dogs for one night, one night only. Yeah. Yeah. And what? And then what happened?

The dogs were taken care of, no?

No.

What happened? There was.

Diarrhea all over the house.

Dogs poop. No, no, no. Diarrhea. Dogs don't just diarrhea all over the house. My dog poops outside. Okay. And you texted me 8:00.

Am to say, get them already.

You wanted them gone.

A dog is not a baby.

Yeah, they are. It's easier than a baby.

May I ask you another question, please? Okay. I'm open. Okay. I feel great.

Thanks.

For being with us. The other question I want to ask you is I have three cats. Do they seem fine?

Self-sufficient. You don't have to do.

Anything with cats. Do they seem fine?

Well, they got skinny and they seem more afraid.

They seem more afraid? Mm-hmm. Are you going to make me mad right now?

I'm just.

Telling you to be... I'm fine. I feel great. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Ui. Well, my- Uy. -brief experience with you.

And babies, they just get.

Round up and- You've never seen him with a baby?

Yeah.

I'm not saying his... If he wasn't with his wife alone. Yeah, for 24 hours. He met my baby. My baby was.

So happy.

Yeah, you met his baby? Mm-hmm. How? We had.

A little get-together.

A baby thing?

A baby thing.

I wasn't invited to the baby thing.

It's just because.

You're not good with babies.

You're not good with babies.

God, everyone's going to move so mad. You're just triggering me, man. Every fucking corner is.

Just really tappy, tappy, tappy. You wouldn't come to the baby thing even if you were invited. You wouldn't come to the baby thing.

Right.

Okay. Would you.

Have gone? I'm sorry. Let me ask you something.

Well, then we're doing it. Andrew.

Okay, we're doing it again tomorrow. Do you want- Yeah, I'll be there. I'm sorry, Andrew. Let me ask you something, Andrew, all right? You invited me to your party. Did I not show up?

Party is different than a baby.

Hang out. I show up to everything people.

Invite me to. There's no babies at party.

His baby thing is not a party, like a baby bash?

It's just to hang out. It's just to.

Meet the baby. Or the shower shower.

Okay, ready. I'm calling you right now. All right. Hello? Hey, Bob. I'm going to go to this meet fancy's baby.

Playing.

Starfield. Okay, so you don't want to go? What's going on? We're just going to meet the baby and say hi and then leave. What baby? Nancy's baby. It's nine months old.

Who's that?

The guy who works on our show.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, he has a baby. Yeah. Are you busy?

Playing Starfield, just said.

All right, man. I'll talk to you later. Bye-bye. See, that's what I mean. You wouldn't go to the baby thing. That's true. Yeah, you're not going.

To go to the baby. You're right. No, you're right. Right.

So it's based on evidence. That's fine.

Everyone spoke.

Their mind. Can I make you feel a little bit better? Because I love you so much as my best friend on Earth? Who would you trust the least with the baby in the room? I mean, any of these kids. Yeah.

You're way above.

I beat these two? Of course.

Of course. Why?

These don't qualify. Wait a minute. Time out. You asked why? Yeah. We made that guy put a butt plug in his butt and you moved around. That's true.

I've had multiple abortions, though, so I was there.

I.

Could be a dad right now.

No. What? No, that's your logic? That's your logic? For why you'd be good with babies because you got.

Rid of them? You killed them. Yeah, but that's not responsible. You're a baby killer.

What? You got rid of them. Who knows how good you'd be with them? You got rid of them.

It's responsible to get rid of them if.

You're not ready, though. For you? That's why I keep them- Away from you? Yeah, he doesn't want you to kill his baby.

But if it was a competition, you would want to pick me because I always want to win. Yes, that's true. Okay. If there was a baby competition, I think the baby would be stoked with me. Would you be better than the merch competition or worse? I don't know. Before I choose, I need to know.

That's good.

I'd be better with the baby. Okay, then I choose you. Okay, thank you.

That's going to be your merch, by the way. It's just a picture of Andras's baby.

Yeah, I'd be better with the baby.

Let me say something. I bet you'd be- I don't care.

You're.

Good. Whatever. No, you're good. Whatever.

I'm irresponsible.

No, you're not. You're good with kids. I'm the worst. You're good with kids. Thank you. We know you're good with kids.

I love him.

This dude right here? Yeah.

I'm not a Man U. I understand why... How do you know this guy?

This guy's all over the internet.

He's my favorite guy.

He's blowing up right now.

Because Man U is not playing great, so he gets devastated.

He's the best. We got tagged in this a thousand times. People said it was you in another universe.

Right. Yeah, he's so funny, this guy. Go ahead. What? I'm going to kill you. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He's the best.

Are you telling me that's not you?

Are you telling me that's not you?

Yeah. I like that his chairs had XL on it. Let you know. Also, smart of him to not have a lot of breakable shit in his room. Yeah.

But do you know why he likes menu? I don't know. I don't know why. Why?

I don't know this-Is there a Korean player on the team?

There was a legend on their team. When Beckham played?

Yeah.

His name is Jisung Park.

Jisung.

Park. He was a regular Alex Ferguson's menu. This guy was so good. He's like a busy bee.

What do you mean? He's just all over.

The field. He has Asian work ethic.

Non-stop.

Yeah, I mean, he's.

Nine jobs. When the game is over, he's still playing.

He's running around. I mean, if you see it on the map where he is, everywhere. He is a hero.

Say his name?

Jisong.

Park. Look that up. Jisong Park. I want to see this guy.

This dude was a beast, dude.

Park Jisong.

Yeah.

This guy, just the king of the pitch.

The.

King, dude. King of the pitch.

The Koreans probably went... Because at that time, there were not any Korean players. Now you have Son and you have the guy from Wolves. But back then they were like, and this guy was a star dude.

Explain something to me. I'm being genuine and I'm ignorant.

If you're going to say he looks like a chimpansey, I'm going to go out of my mind.

Santoro. Wait a minute. Why is it when it's this in sports? I'm being honest, I'm dumb. Yeah, go ahead. Part G-Song, but on the back of his jersey, would say Park. Why would it say his first name?

Because it's in reverse. They say the last name first in Korea.

But on that thing, his name is... What's his name? His name.

Is- J-Sung Park. That's why I said J-Sung Park. In America, it would be J-Sung Park. In Korea, it's Park C. Jisong. Why do they do that? Because the last name is first.

Why would the last name be first? It's last. It's his last.

It's the first name there.

Your last name is your.

First name? Yeah.

How does this.

Make sense? I'm Lee Young Bobby. I'm Lee Young Bobby in Korea, dude. You're Santino Andrew.

I'm Santino James Andrew.

Yeah, you're.

Santino James Andrew. Why? I don't understand this. I never know. That's the way we do it. But I don't get it. What does it mean? I don't know. Why does the rest of the world.

Not do that? I don't question it. Just do it.

Let's question it. It makes no fucking sense. Did they do that in the Philippines? No. No?

Yeah.

Why is it like that? For example, the name Kim Min Su, Kim is the family name. The family name and surname is inherited. The use of personal names is guided by a strict system of honorifics. It seems like it's rude to you. It's rude to refer to a stranger or person, higher social status by their personal name.

Perceived gender and names is less consistent than in Western names. That doesn't make any fucking sense.

Yeah, I'm an aristocrat.

You're not at all. I am. You're a kid from Poway.

Yeah, hi. How? Poway, hi.

Poway, hi. I just don't understand this.

I think they're just like fighting the personal name last.

What's personal about a first name? They're the least personal. I think the last name is more personal. I think to them it's the last. Because the last name is your family root.

If I'm in Korea with you and I go, Hey, Andrew, if you're a Korean, you'd be like, No, call me Santino. I don't know you.

Well, they call me Santino here, but that's not a term in Mendirman. But I wouldn't say that in a formal sense. On my jersey, I wouldn't say Andrew. I would say Santino.

Yeah, in America, I mean, in England, Jisun Park, they said Park on the back.

I know, but you're saying, but when you're referring- Why are you so angry about it? Because I don't like the way you guys do things. I'm an American. I don't know. You call the embassy and fix it.

Okay.

Thank you.

I'll call them.

What's this? This is when something goes awry. The Vikings and the Packers are not a fan of the Chicago Bear. I know. These two guys, they found common ground and disliking a Bear's fan that they saw in the.

Parking lot. This is a Packer and a-We have some common ground. We have some.

Common ground. We got to start.

Talking to you. Hi. How are.

You doing?

How are you doing? How are.

You doing?

Fuck.

Off. They thought they were going to go talk shit to that guy. They walked up to me, a down syndrome, and they were both like, Okay, never mind. We can't say anything to this guy. Oh, no, you're not a real fucking packer.

I could have fan them. Yeah, you should have lit them up. What would.

You have said if you saw a Tottenham fan?

Imagine- If you go to the.

Ding-dong-i'm a Tottenham fan. You say Ding-Dong to me. My back is turned and you tap on my shoulder and you're.

Wearing a... Hey, fucking what's up? Hey. You asshole.

Why? You... I don't know. It has nothing to do with the teams.

Because if you said Ding-Dong, I go, Yeah, that's right. You're a Ding-Dong. Why did they come in?

They got scared. What would you say? What are you going to fucking say to that guy? Hey, fuck the bears. The kid without them is going to be like, Why are you so mean?

They should have even known that he had it in the first place.

How do they know it's.

His backwards turn? Because he's been a fucking... He's the only one wearing it.

No, there were other fans there. Oh, there were? Okay. No, but I mean, how would they know? You're right. How would they know?

Yeah.

You're assuming that every bears fan has down syndrome? I got to tell you, you're not too far off. As a bears fan, you're probably right.

What's a ding-dong?

It was great.

It's what they do.

Do you not understand what he... Do you not see what he was doing there? He shook the hand of the Vikings fan, right?

Let me guess. Let me guess. Stop, stop, stop. Yeah.

Do you not understand what happened here?

Racism.

Yeah, he's racist.

He just called the black guy a ding-dong.

Yeah, that's right. That in a street term in the down syndrome community, Ding-Dong is.

The N-N-Word. You're right. Because that was a.

Hard don. Yeah, it was a hard G.

That was a hard ding-dong.

Yeah, a hard G. Whoa, dude. Well, so we got to cancel this guy.

Yeah, let's.

Cancel this guy. Wow, that's fucking crazy. Wouldn't shake his hand. No. Or can I just say this, though? Let me see this. No, no. Let me explore this. Let me see this. Right? Insane. Maybe he was rapping.

He wanted him to kick off. Yeah. How about somehow more racist.

Yeah, he was doing a-.

No, that's more racist. He starts rapping to the black guy. Right.

No, because he wants to be cool. He doesn't know what to say. He's like, Oh, it's my first time. -meeting a Black guy. -in front of a Black guy. What's up?

Ding-dong. I get it. Yeah, I get that.

Dude, I've just...

By the way, that just proved.

The building was good. Bill Bellamy.

So funny. He doesn't know who that is. Do that thing. This is the rapper, designer.

That's not Bill Bellamy.

That's a designer. Say hello to the Chinese fan.

Right here. I know how much love, man. Say hello to all my Chinese fans. You all know what time it is.

We in the building. Bts, man.

I might drop you about to drop it real soon. Shout out.

To Steve-O, Key.

Y'all know what time it is. We out here. We making the moves, man. Across the world. Y'all know how we rocking.

Hello in China is nia-how.

Nia-how, man.

What's a nia-how?

The Asian girl was dancing, thinking he was rapping.

When he was just simply talking. That show it again. That's hilarious.

This whole thing is embarrassing.

Say hello to the Chinese fan.

Right here. You all must love, man. Say hello to all my Chinese fans, man. Y'all know what.

Time it is. We in the building. Bts, man.

Mike, drop me about to drop real soon. Okay, stop.

Stop. Oh, damn. That is insane.

That is insane, dude.

She starts and she thinks he's rap. She thinks he's rap. He's just talking.

That's so embarrassing.

I need to see that again. No, that's hilarious.

Yeah, okay. But he is doing...

In China is Nih.

He is speaking rhythm.

Yeah, he has rhythm. Don't you taking her side?

Yeah, all right, you're right.

That is crazy.

Oh, my God. It's like two cultures that.

Shouldn't mix up. Nowhere near each other. Yeah. And yet they have so much in common.

What?

Well, they both love Kongfu movies. That's good.

Yeah.

Love Kongfu, anime. What else? Black people love anime. Yeah. Breakdancing. Yeah. Okay. Breakdancing? Yeah.

Can I share what I've been mourning.

This week? Oh, my God. Is everything okay?

It's about Harry Stiles' hair.

He died? No. What happened?

He's bald now.

What do you mean he's bald? He shaved his head. Let me see. Harry Stiles shaved his head?

Another Carlos.

This is tragic. Tragic for you. What's wrong with that? Yeah. That looks cool.

That's cool.

You don't like that at all?

No. You'll grow it back.

No? What if he can't grow it back? Look at McComb.

No, because he's balding here already.

Yeah, he's balding a little bit. You're saying this is it for him?

Yeah. Everyone's mourning about it because he had such luscious hair.

He's so hot, though.

I don't know. The butterfly tattoos don't do it for me. What? That would distract me the whole time.

I would lick it.

I'd want to know what they are. Is that a monarch? I'd want to know what kind it is.

He's hot, though. Look at him.

Not for me. That's not my style.

He's so hot.

I'm sorry about Harry Stiles. I think his hair will grow back and it'll be just fine, okay?

Yeah. I've also discovered something. Go ahead. Okay. You know how you and I think that I'm a bit slow.

And.

A little bit r-word?

Yeah.

I discovered I thought my mom was just smoking weed the whole her- Pregnancy?

-teenage year to 20-something. Yeah. Then it's called taboo. Then when I asked my mom, Oh, what did you use again? She said, Oh, I used meth.

Yeah, we all knew that.

No, we all didn't. Your mom.

Smoked meth. I discovered I'm a meth baby.

You are? Yeah, you were a meth baby because what Kalala's dad did- That is huge. Yeah, it's great. What Kalala's dad did was she had to shave her head and then lock her in a house, tied her to a fucking radiation for a month, and she just got off meth.

I always thought it was weak.

What That's how you do it in old days. -that's how you do it in old days. -transporting style.

Just tied her to a radiation and said, No more meth.

I fed her.

Could she go to the bathroom? Yeah.

You have to ask her. The radiators are by.

The bathroom. Oh, okay, that's fine.

We're not a radiater, but they're locked or not room.

Your mom smoked meth the whole time you were... Yeah?

I don't know. I asked her how long did you stop before you had me, and she said, Oh, two years, three years.

That doesn't make any sense. I think that's a cover up.

Yeah.

Help is available. Call 1-800-662-4357 if you have meth problems. If you have meth problems, please 1-800-662-4357, call today. Do not smoke meth when you're pregnant. That's crazy. It's called what?

Shabou.

Shabou is what they call meth in the Philippines. Sounds more fun.

How do you use meth?

Because from what- Two ways, you snort it or.

You smoke it? Well, I've only smoked it, but people do snort it.

From what I saw in my village, they use plastic.

Yeah, that's because they can't afford the real pipe. The good pipes. Yeah, the good pipes don't make their way down there. By ages one and two, toddler showed delayed motor development. Preschool and school-age children had settled with significant attention impairments and were more likely to have cognitive behavioral issues in school, including liking anime, like One Piece. Wow, get in the article. That's what it says right there, meth babies like One Piece.

But a lot of the meth is from North Korea. No. No? Yeah.

Most meth doesn't come from.

North Korea. No, the meth that the.

Philippines get. Well, yeah.

They make meth in North Korea, and then there's ports and Philippines, and it ends up there.

That's crystal meth is North Korea's trendiest, Lunar New Year gift to the rest of Asia. Yeah. Where do you think our meth come from? The stuff that we get?

Bakersfield.

Yeah, Midland, California.

Yeah, the desert.

That's terrible, man. I'm sorry that you're a meth baby. Yeah. What's your new name on this show? Method? Method Baby. There's a little meth baby over there. Well, I'm sorry, meth baby, but we're happy that you're here with us. How about that? Now you're a meth grown up and you're 22.

Thank you, Tito Andrew. Thank you, Tito Bobby. You're welcome. Thank you, everyone, for giving me the best gifts.

Thank you. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.

There you go.