Hey, everybody.

Guys, we got new shirts, and this is, I think, one of our best shirts of all time.

I think so, too.

On it is. Has all the whole. Your cast of characters, and the gang's all here. The gang's all here is, uh. And then Poway High School, the home of the Titans.

Home of the Titans.

My high school's there. Hollywood, all that stuff. The comedy store.

Juicy's on there. Krie Kors on there. Macon. Carlos, everyone. We also have mugs if you like coffee. You want to start your day right with the bad friends. We also have mugs on there. Mugs and shirts. Go get them now before we stop selling them. We're doing limited time runs for a lot of this stuff. Go to bad friends. Merch.com, badfriendsmerch.com. also, we're going down on the mate.

We're gonna be Australia and Sydney.

We have to add seats because you guys did great. Tell them where we go.

We're going to Sydney. You said it.

Sydney.

Brisbane, Australia. Auckland, New Zealand. Melbourne, Australia. Adelaide, Australia. Birth Australia.

Perth.

Ticks. Or tickets are going fast.

Tickets are going fast. Go to badfriendspod.com for tickets. Badfriendspod.com.

Dot for tickets. You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots? White dude and an asian dude.

You two are disgusting. You two are something.

We're bad friends.

What's going on your face like a teenage girl.

I'm like a teenage girl.

Dude, dude, dude, dude. I love it. Are there, like, pink ones that can blend into your face? You have to do the yellow.

These were for you, but I just.

Oh, I see.

You want me to save that stuff for the pod dude, let me tell you something. Did you offer our guests anything to drink or anything?

I got water.

They better.

Everybody's a little starstruck.

Everyone is a little starstar.

Star stroke.

A, starstroke. This guy. Dude, we hire this guy. Almost all the people that work for us are, a, illegal.

They're illegal. They don't have cards.

Or B, they're felons.

Felons. Yeah.

Honest felons.

Carlos, did you know seb back in the day, I would see you at the comedy store? Yeah, yeah. But he didn't know you. No. Well, no. Cause you were around. Yeah, but this is before he blew up, though. So you didn't go, hey, I'm Carlos. No, no.

You think Sebastian was in sacred ground with the crackheads in the back? You did stand up and went home.

Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right.

These guys were cockroaching behind the comedy store.

He didn't linger.

He didn't need to. I did. I lingered early on my early years. I was a linger.

Yeah. Yeah.

But as, you know, as you grow up, you go home.

Bobby.

Well, I didn't make it yet, so. You know what I mean? I need to hang out.

You mean now?

Yeah, now. I hang out now because I haven't made it yet. I mean, my opportunity might. You know what I mean? Maybe I'll do the Golden Globes.

Are you sleeping in Mitzi's office? Don't you pass out sometimes up there? That's your little apartment.

Well, first of all, no one's ever been in Mitzi's office. You know that.

I have.

There's no. No one's been.

I have.

Don't do this. You have. Have you been in Mitzi's office?

Yeah.

Yeah. What are you talking about?

I don't think you guys know where Mitzi's office is.

This is such. What a dumb guy think. There was another room with a desk. What are you talking about?

No, where do you think Mitzi's office is?

What are you talking about?

What are you guys talking about? I don't like this. I don't like what's going on right now. Dude, after you. Let's go ahead.

Sir, let me ask you this.

Okay.

Is Mitzi's office at the comedy store?

Very good. Yeah. All right, good. This is good. You're acting. You're treating me like you've always asked, like a child.

Yeah.

And I'm gonna allow this, all right? So go ahead. Let's go.

The way you're behaving is as if we didn't come across the office because the office is located on Kuwait.

I know, but what I'm saying to you is that. Can I ask you a question?

Yes.

Based after your question. My question. Are there many offices at the comedy store?

Yes.

Yes.

There we go. It might. Okay, so what? And so what? I'm not. Stop.

This is the worst detective of all time trying to find clues that aren't there.

Yeah, yeah, there are. So what I'm saying is, is that I feel like you've been in an office where you thought it was Mitzi's office, but it really wasn't.

Okay.

Okay. So what I know this about Mitzi's office is that it's been closed since the seventies. No one's ever been in there.

That's not true.

Okay, so now I'm gonna ask you, sab. And you, Andrew. All right, all right. Because I'm not afraid. Number one. I don't. I'm not based in fear right now. I have courage and I know what I'm talking about, you fucking assholes. Right now. Right. And don't. Do you know what this is? I saw this on TikTok, it's the way to. You know what I mean? Control the room. And you're with your hand like this. Yeah.

You know what this is?

Yeah.

This is sitting on a kid's.

That's what that is. Okay. I read it wrong. So I'm gonna ask you guys, where is the office?

You know what, I don't know if we need to tell you. Cause you haven't been. This is kind of the good.

This is so funny, because now you see what's going on. They now are scared, cause they don't know where her office is.

I do.

So this is great. So tell.

No, the office is upstairs.

Okay. So where I go. There's many building offices up there. So describe to me how I get up there.

Okay, since you've been in there.

Yeah.

Does the office have a heavy, like red, kind of velvety drape that you remember?

I don't know if it does anymore, but it did. It used to have a. There was a. There was a secondary door before you got to her office door.

Yeah.

It was two. That's it. That's it. That, that. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. You're the only one. I've never been in there.

No, no. Here's the deal.

Yeah. I've never been in.

I've never been in a responsible grown. Hold on. Hey, ega. Adam, you're on, you're on. Bad friends with Sebastian and me and Bobby. And Bobby claims that's. Yeah, exactly. He goes, nobody's been in Mitzi's office since the seventies. And I said, me and you, I said, I've been in it. You and I went in it did or did. Have we not been in Mitzi's office?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Okay, thank you. I love you.

I'm not done.

No, we're giving the phone Bobby ban from the office. Yeah. Why can't Bobby go in Egypt?

Oh, that's totally different.

Right.

Oh well, what is it then? Egg it, Bobby. There's too many fucking reasons.

Yeah, there is. Yeah. And I think our.

Hang up. Hang up the phone.

I love you. Call you later.

Up the phone.

Goodbye.

Okay, so I was wrong. There are parts of this commerce I've.

So aggressive to our guest.

Listen, guys, I never know when I come on these things.

Yeah.

Is this, like, on.

Yes. We had already started.

I just did a podcast.

Yeah.

It was like, okay, we're gonna start in a bedroom. Water this and that. And then it was like an introduction.

Yeah.

Here.

It's like, hey, we're running right from the get go.

This is a car accident, okay?

No, it's not a car accident.

It's just gonna happen.

You guys are making me so mad right now.

Dude, what is your problem?

I don't know. I'm just aggro right now, okay?

What happened in Century City that you're so upset?

It took me a long way to get here.

Well, no shit.

What were you doing over there?

Ca is packaging, and I was.

Don't act like it.

Okay? I'm doing this. You know what I mean? Because it's like. It's a whirlwind. So I don't want to get into.

Why I was like, is it whirlwind or. Whirlwind?

What's a whirlwind?

Which word do you think it is?

W I n whirled.

Wind. Whirlwind.

No, it's w h I r l win.

D w I d w y n. Like Steve Wynn.

No, no, no. Not wind or world. Wind. What is it? What is it?

No, no. I'm just saying. You're right no matter what.

Okay? I know you're gonna say something. Let me just say something. We'll do the proper intro, okay?

You don't need to.

No, but I'm gonna tell you why we do it.

Where we're at. Is this part of, like, oh. We get warmed up and then all of a sudden.

No, no.

The foreigner says, hey, let's get this going.

Well, you're right. You're right.

Our guest today is one of our favorite comedians who have ever walked the earth. An actor, a comedian, a writer. Probably one of the most brilliant performers alive today. Sebastian Meniscalco. What did you. What? Don't step on them.

A real comedian.

A real comedian.

For once.

For once on this show.

Yeah.

Let me just get back. Okay, I'm back. Do it again.

I already did it.

All right. He's a real comedian. That's what I got. Not only that, did I get actor. World. World. When we said.

And great actor, a great writer, a great performer, great comedian.

I say something.

A great father.

May I say something?

A great friend.

May I some say something? Because I have my own two bits as well.

Please.

He's a great guy. He never said that. And also, secondly, I've known him probably one of the longest, right?

Yeah.

And, you know, he's one of those guys that I. I always, always knew, so. Sebastian, my skull.

You know what? Guys?

Guys. You know what?

Let's just go back to the normal way you do it.

Why doesn't it seem organic?

We can't do NPR podcasting. It's just not for us. How many did you do today?

Two interviews I did. I did the school of greatness. You ever do that? One.

What is that?

I've never heard of it.

What is that?

Carter, what is that? What is that?

We're not that great. So I don't know if we'd go.

Well, we've never seen them in the charts. Are they bigger than us? No way. Okay, I love your attitude right now. Thank you so much.

This is like. Yeah, Lewis Howes.

Oh, no. What's his thing about.

It's more like, you know, grown up shit.

You know, he's a two time New York best selling author. Is that what it says? Yeah. Two time all american athlete, keynote speaker, entrepreneur. Wow.

Yeah. It was more about, like, life.

Yeah. We do life, too, bud.

No, no. Yeah.

How's your life going? Some people watch it. Yeah. Yeah.

Some people watch it.

Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, dude, you're flexing. Huh?

He's being a little diminutive. And it's interesting you would do that to someone you respect so much. Like Sebastian.

This is the first time I have.

Someone I admire on our show. You've never admired any.

We had John Cena. Didn't admire Zac Efron. Didn't admire. You know, Zac Efron. No.

Adam.

Admire. All right. We've also had. Who else have we had? You two.

The band. You two.

We had you. Bono. We had Bono and the edge. Okay. Yeah. We're like, you know, we're the bottom. But my point is, is that it's fine. Had.

So you had Bono here?

No, no, he's just. He doesn't.

When he said, you, English is bad.

It's bad. Yeah, we never had Bono here.

He meant he has us, too.

He just.

Hey.

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

He's very bad.

He's very bad. Can you shut the fuck up? Maybe. Anyway, um. So Sebastian is an old friend, and I, um. He's killing it. You know, I. It's great. I'm so happy for you.

Thank you.

Here's another reason why I like you.

No, I don't. I don't. Go ahead. I just don't get it. What are you doing?

What's the problem?

He knows we like him, but tell him why you like him. For people listening, I'm sure they like him way more.

They wait way more than me, but I'm just gonna tell. I'm sorry. Back up, everyone. Okay, you gotta take those off because it's doing something to your mind. And the way you're podcasting, it's affecting everything.

Is it?

Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck is that?

I told you, it's pimple patches. I had a breakout.

Yeah.

I went to Vegas. I got cream.

Yeah.

I put wrong cream on my face. I broke out when I came back.

Okay, let me ask you this. Cause this is the second time I've seen this in less than four days.

Yeah.

Someone had that on these. Yeah. At a party that we were at for. It's a kid party, and one of the mothers had one here. Now, can you come out with those on and not mention that you have those?

Must say something.

You must say something.

If you walk in, and I would never go to a public. If I was going to a party or a thing, I would just get over it. This is home to me, so this is easy. If I'm going to a party or an event. Can't just deal with the pimple, just deal with the redness. This woman didn't say anything about it.

No, I said, you got something on your. I thought it was, like, from opening a gift that one of the stickers got. I know you got a star on your. She's like, no, that's for pimple. I'm like, is it getting that comfortable now where people just come out with acne cream?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, let me say something, first of all, to the company that makes those. Why don't you make them so that it's something that you would have on your face? Like a liver spot or a freckle.

Right? Those.

No, these are real liver spots that old korean men get. But my point being is, if I had a brown liver spot, like, there, and that is it, I think it would just blend into my face. No.

Yeah, but then this feels like it's more obvious. Hey, I have a thing on my face. That would be. We would start calling each other going, is Bobby okay? There's way more liver spots on his face than used to be.

Right? But maybe you can, like, pull on heartstrings, maybe. Maybe something even worse, like a scar. You know what I mean? Or lesions.

You should have worked in Halloween makeup. You would have been way better at that than comedy magic in your career. This is great. I'm in. You start a business doing this, and I'm in.

Guys.

Guys. Yeah.

Thanks.

Is this how it's gonna go?

This is how it's gonna go.

Yeah. There we go. That's how it goes. Okay.

That's how it goes.

Are you plugging something? What the fuck are you doing here?

I'm just interested in the dynamics of.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, here we go.

Because I generally don't watch the show.

Yeah, neither do we.

I have a family.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So are these guys guys you're hanging out with on a social level, or is it just a work thing and everybody goes their separate ways?

No, actually, we do. It is kind of like a little family for us.

Yeah.

And it's five guys. Well, there's a woman in the back I met briefly.

That's McCone. That's McConnell.

You have a new intern.

Yeah.

Yeah. Where is she?

Oh, I thought he was talking about McConnell.

Can I see what she looks like? Yeah. Oh, another asian. Hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're an intern.

I am.

Okay. Sit back down. Thank you. Impress you. Yeah.

Listen, listen.

Okay.

I'm impressed. Number one, congratulations on all the success that the show has had.

Thank you.

It's really fantastic. And I'm impressed that you guys are so big that there's an intern program.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there is.

At bad friends. I mean, that's pretty impressive.

Well, I'll tell you what, though. We don't do the intern hiring. We have no say. They bring in people, and I'm starting to get a little sus. We might need to audit it because it's always asian girls.

Yeah.

So I don't know what's going on over there.

I think they're doing it for me.

It's not working.

It's not working.

No. Trust me.

But I don't.

I'm cool with any race, any gender.

Okay.

But let's mix it up a little bit.

Yeah.

That's been the fifth asian girl we've had.

We love blacks.

Okay.

We love them.

Let's just make sure when he says that.

Yeah. I just made solo the movie fences.

Very good, Denzel.

Yeah. Very good movie. Can you ever set the play?

Do the. Do the scene. Let's do the scene, son. Mmm.

I don't know. I never saw. But let me try. Let me try. Let me try.

I got so nervous, son.

Okay, let me try. So why do you think I work all day paying bills and putting food on the table? Not because of my duty, but because I'm your father.

Because you love me? Yeah. No.

Now go clean the fucking bathroom.

No.

No, you didn't do that?

No, he doesn't. He says not, because I love you.

I never saw the movie. That's pretty good for somebody that's never seen the fucking movie.

Or the play.

Or the play. Am I not right?

Well, I gotta tell you. What? The meeting that you were at today was for a movie package deal, and this is what you're bringing to the table. I'm concerned.

Sometimes there's low brow projects. Dude, not. Not everyone's gonna work with Robert.

Dinner sometimes. No brow projects. Sometimes they're solo. There's no brow, and that's okay.

You do the monolog.

No, I don't know the monolog. I don't remember it.

I'm the kid. Yeah, dad. Yeah. Yeah, dad, you wanna talk to me? In the backyard, in New York, Brooklyn, 1978.

Is that when you think it was 19?

I don't know. What does this move on?

Let's move on.

Okay. All right.

Sebastian, I'm gonna ask you something. I got back from Vegas. I went to go see dead and company. I don't know, it's weird to me to see people from all different facets that like that band. I wouldn't pick you as that, but do you like that stuff at all, or. No.

It's funny, my musical tastes are very sheltered. I didn't grow up with a lot of the music. A lot of the people grew up in the eighties with my father around, the house was playing Al Giro, lot of jazz, Grover Washington, Miles Davis. So I would go to school.

I love it.

And everybody was, oh, you listen to the Beatles? You listen to this? Or whatever? I go, no, I'm listening to Boz Skaggs. I wasn't privy to a lot of this music that. That a lot of people grew up on. So, no, I'm not a bad company guy, but I heard the show is at the sphere.

Yeah, dead and company.

I'm not saying bad company.

Bad company. Also a great band. Yeah, also a great band.

I have a line of question, real quick, if you want to say something. I have a line of question. What he just said, it was really bothered me, but go ahead.

Okay. All I want to say is, I understand this shelter. I don't know. My dad was. My dad was stuck in a. Stuck in the. He never liked new shit, even of his gender. My dad is born 55, something like that. So I would think, you know, a lot of my friends dads were like Zeppelin rock, seventies rock. My dad only liked Carolina beach. Music, soul. Patsy Klein. You know what I mean? Like, he liked either folk, country crossover, or soul music, you know, like Sam Cooke. And he just never. So, like, for me, it was similar in that where I had to go fish. Cause my friends were like, Patsy Klein. They didn't know who that. They were like, who is that? So, like, same kind of idea. It was. So I had to be, like, out of myself to pretend I knew things when I was young. So I had to just investigate. You just bailed. You were like.

I didn't. I didn't know there was any investigating. I just like, okay, this is the music taste that I'm gonna grow up with.

You like.

Right?

I'm sorry.

You liked Michael Jackson?

I love Michael Jackson.

Yeah.

Who do you. Yeah. Who, like, who?

Michael Jackson. Prince. I mean, Madonna.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All those things. You.

But I didn't.

I know that about you.

I. I didn't get motley crue. I, like kind of the hair bands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, like, the classical rock bands.

Yeah.

I didn't.

I didn't get into, like, no zeppelin.

No zeppelin. Wow.

But if I said to you, like, name me a couple of Beatles songs, you would know. I mean, you're privy to it, that information.

Yes.

You don't know any Beatles songs?

Again, I don't know lyrics to songs, nor do I know titles to songs.

Okay.

I love that about it.

That's what I love. I know you're. I like it. I like it.

When you came here today, what did you listen to in the car on the way here?

I was talking to people.

But if you're not on the phone.

I would generally listen to audiobooks.

Fuck.

Or the latest Eminem song. Houdini.

Whoa. The scale of that. Audiobooks. Houdini.

Houdini.

Wow.

Whoa.

The anxious generation. That's the book I'm listening to right now. And then Houdini.

Is the. Wow. That's it? That's your playlist?

That's right now.

Yeah. Right.

I don't. I don't veer far.

Okay. May I ask you some questions? And I know you're a guest. I love you so much.

And thinking and don't be rude.

I'm not gonna be. I feel like I was being rude early. I apologize.

You're not being rude at all. Thank you so much for 25 years.

Okay, so I'm gonna ask you some direct questions then. Okay.

Okay.

Cuz I'm not afraid. All right. I mean, you have Spotify?

No, I do have Spotify.

Thank you. Apple music. No.

Yes.

Exactly. A search engine.

Yes.

Yeah.

This isn't rude because I'm confused.

No, no, I know.

I only.

You're right. I should ask you. Hey, you have all the stuff like Spotify and apple, right?

Better.

That's cool. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. I have it, too. And, you know, you search things right on it.

Mm hmm.

Right. Never curious if maybe. Listen, let's see what the Beatles are all about.

No.

Why?

Listen, it is a weakness I have in my repertoire for cultural. You know, I should be able to name many songs from the Beatles and. Or Led Zeppelin. You know, stair, was it? Stairway to heaven.

Yeah, but watch this. But watch this. Well, watch this.

I know, I know. I know what you're gonna do. I know.

Name the last five books in your world that you've either read or listened to.

Atomic habits.

Boom. Let's stop there.

Love that book.

You've never read atomic habits?

Of course.

Who wrote it?

I forgot his name. But I can tell you what the book's about.

What is it?

It's about the habitual. You know what I mean? Learning about atomic energies within the earth and also the biosphere of the world and the universe.

No, but that is a good lie. I like that lie.

Good.

Nice truth. Very good.

It's good.

Okay.

Anyway, this is my point. His learn.

You're telling me that the fucking.

You go for it.

You're talking about that book is equivalent to the white album.

No, my point is he's indulging in knowledge through books. You indulge through music that.

I listen to audiobooks, too, just not those ones.

You do not listen to audio Lord of the Rings.

I did, because I wanted to get all the. All of it. I want to get all of it right. I did, Bob. I know you are. Token. He didn't narrate.

It goes to Eric Stoken.

No, no, token. Right. And I'll tell you another thing. I listen to ram dass spiritual shit.

Okay?

So that's in your face.

I know you do.

I'm so sorry. Being rude. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you're reading.

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Yeah, it's. Submitting an injury claim is Morgan Morgan is so easy.

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Beautiful.

Music for me was always about working out, dancing. That's what it always accompanied for me. It never really accompanied me sitting in my room going, oh, my God. What he's saying is prolific. I didn't mean it was dancing.

How about this? People always say, what's your last meal? What's the last song you'd prefer to hear before you die? If you could control the last song to hear before you go out. Cause, you know, I think sometimes I know.

I know what it is.

What is it?

Nat can call wonderful life.

Wow.

Not good.

No. Yeah, it's good. I didn't pick you. I did not think that that song.

I love black people.

I said that three times.

We established that already.

Yeah. I think the fans are gonna call it out at this point.

Why? That's insane.

He keeps saying it.

You can see whatever. I can say whatever I want.

Oh, reinforce it.

Okay. No, that's the last one. My point is, I like that song because it's. It gives me the good feels. I could be in the worst move.

Yeah.

Mood. And that song comes, and I am happy go lucky.

It changes.

I'm frolicking, I'm light. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm a new man. I love that song.

What do you think? If you were going out, what's the song you'd like to hear right before you go?

Billie Jean.

Billie Jean. Oh, that's a good song.

That makes me come alive. All right.

Billie Jean does.

Yeah. Every time I hear that song, I want to get up and do something.

Yeah. Yeah. You're a good dancer, by the way.

My dancing skills have declined over the years, however, growing up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, you know this. I mean, you grew up. Did you hit the. You're a little younger than I am. A lot younger. We hit the teen dance clubs. You ever go to Toto's?

Really?

Acapulco bar?

Not really. That missed our generation. I was more of a live show guy. I went to live concerts.

What, you went to lollapalooza? Or was it lollapaloo? Yeah. Wasn't that the big thing?

Lollapalooza was the thing. But did you ever. Did you ever heard of Fireside bowl? Do you remember Fireside ball? No, I liked little indie hip hop and rock shows, and they throw them at these, like, firestyle, look it up. I don't know. It used to be.

Well, I want to know about Toto, so walk me through toto. You show up, cover charge.

Cover charge.

Yeah.

Line, line.

Do people know you? You get in, right? In.

Oh, they know him now.

Yeah. But back then, I was never the.

Guy who knew the bouncer, but I was always with a guy that had the in.

Right.

This is teen dance club, 17 McGreevey's.

Wow. McGreevey. Is that total right there?

No, that's fireside bowl.

Oh, it is? Okay.

Hip hop shows.

No, where was that at? Is that downtown?

Fireside bowl is on. I don't even know where it was. It was just outside in Fullerton? Yeah, Fullerton.

Okay. Yeah, no, I didn't. Well, how old are you?

40.

Okay, so ten years. That's a big gap. So, yeah, no, we're closer.

No, teens. Yeah, you're.

Well, yeah, but you didn't, you know, this is just a. Chicago in the late 89, 90. Toto's McGreevey's Discovery club.

That's the hot shit. That was the hot.

This was. This is going down, up and down Harlem Avenue, cruising in our cars. You ever do that?

No. Now, did you have to break off the bouncer?

It sounds like american graffiti, by the way.

It does, yeah. Milkshakes.

You like milkshakes? Oh, God, malts.

Yeah, this is Saturday Night fever that he's just explaining us the story of.

I met him Saturday night.

You met Mister Saturday night?

John Chavez. Tov.

Whoa.

Yeah. Where?

He was at the comedy store.

When?

Saturday night just said, oh, I think.

Said, mister Saturday night.

Oh, this Saturday?

This Saturday. He was there. So Tommy Lee was there with Brittany Furlong. She was doing a show in the belly room. What's so funny?

You said furlong. And it's funny to me because it's like the length of a horse in a horse race, and it is.

What's her last name?

Furlan.

Exactly.

Okay. I just laughed. The boys did it.

Did you know who I was talking about? Let's move on. Anyway, so Tommy's there, and I met Tommy before, right? So I went up and I went, hey, you know me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Socially, right?

Mm hmm.

You know, I grab his wrist and I do a bump with my hip to the side smart. And no, it wasn't because he went like, what the fuck? Right? And then. Cause he was in conversation with John Travolta. And I look up and I go, oh, fuck. Because, you know, that's not all Luke was talking, you know, degrees.

One to start with.

Yeah, yeah, the grease, you know, I mean, the one where he's, you know, I mean, the. The cowboy western one that he did.

Luke was talking to.

Yeah, that's what. Right? And then anyway, it's Miss Saturday Night Live fever. I mean, pulp fiction, right? So thank you so much.

Right. Valley of violence.

So I go, hey, I'm Bobby, and you. And he didn't say anything. So I go, I know you're John Travolta. And I know. So embarrassing.

So did you get a good energy back or.

No, bad. Bad energy.

Yeah.

Because when I don't expect it and it comes out of nowhere, I don't know how to do it. I get. I read. I read the situation wrong.

Well, what did he look like? Was he kind of look like that? Like in hairspray?

No, he looked like the previous photo that you had.

Was he bald?

Yeah, he's bald. Yeah, yeah, it's in his eyes.

What is?

Travolta.

He's in his eyes.

The Travolta is in his eyes. You know, even when he gets older, it's in. You can tell it's in the eye.

You're saying like, all of his ability.

And look at those eyes.

Yeah, yeah, I see that. Looks like eyes.

So were you. Were you taken aback by the eyes? Did you. Did you. Is that why you got flustered?

Well, I mean, at first in my mind, I'm like, for a split second, I was like, I know this person and he could be a comedian. I was just trying, you know, going through the thing. I go, then I went, oh, fuck, it's John Travolta. And then at that point, I was looking at his eyes and he was doing some sort of like, Scientology. You know what I mean? Like alien thing. Right. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? And then I was like, oh, I got fucking bamboozled by his energy, you know, and I walked away.

You should have just been like, where's Shelley miscavige? Where's she at, John?

Or let's like, yeah, yeah.

And then just walked away.

But then I also bowed to his grandmother and her. His daughter, I believe.

How far?

So I go, John Travolta. And I looked at them and I bowed for some. I don't know why?

Well, it's instinct.

Thank you, heritage.

Anyway, have you ever been taken aback by, I mean, look, dude, your resume speaks for itself. You've worked with some of the greatest legends of our business. Have you been taken aback?

Prince.

Prince knocked you out, huh?

Knocked me out?

What? Tell us.

Tummy, tummy. Prince.

This actually was Steve Byrne and who else was it? Butch Bradley.

Butch Bradley.

I don't know who that is.

Comic.

We were in Las Vegas. I want to say this is. You got like, a crack research team back there.

Memphis is on crack for sure.

Prince did the Super Bowl. I think it was maybe 0709 ish around there.

Right?

When did Prince do the Super bowl and let him continue?

Let's go, guys.

Anyway, we were in Las Vegas performing, I want to say, at the Tropicana Hotel. Oh, seven for the weekend. Oh. So, okay. And Butch Bradley knew somebody that was producing the commercial for the Super bowl. That's. Somebody saw Butch Bradley on the Marquis, said, listen, I need funny guys to do something with Prince for a promo.

Holy shit.

So we go in. This is at the venetian hotel banquet room. We're sitting around a banquet room table, and they said, prince is going to come in after we kind of do the, you know, he wasn't going to sit through our deal. So he comes in and he's got two beautiful women flanking him. This is beautiful. I've yet to incorporate this into my life, but if there's a moment to do so, I definitely will. Came in with two incense sticks, and they were holding the incense sticks, and it was like immediately you were in the, you were just in Prince's aura.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

And he sat down, you know, with the eyes and. And everybody was, was staring at him, and no one really wanted to communicate with him. And he's like, you know why he's so serious?

Yeah.

And he kind of broke the ice by doing that. We did a couple shots with him. He got up, the incense sticks were there, and he left. And I gotta tell you, looking into this man's eyes just was just like a different human being.

Yeah.

So that's.

It's incredible.

That's my, I mean, he was one.

Of the most talented people on planet.

Earth, but you're such a magic man.

Magic, magic. He's a magic man. I can.

That's not even a real. It's like, it's like God did it for us. And they were like, we're gonna give you a couple of these. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Well, who are these people of magic.

Magic men. People. Well, Michael Jackson might be.

Michael Jackson was a magic man.

Magic man.

Magic. They.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you ever come across. This is another guy I think is magic. Tom Cruise. Have you ever been in his.

Have you?

No, never.

Yeah. You can tell that he is, though.

Yeah, I could just see that, you know, through how he behaves. It's someone that's very connected.

Connected, yeah.

I can tell that he is magic man because without giving away much, one of my closest friends who, you know, works with him and, I mean, sitting on the plane, like, is with him. With him and the story she's told and the way she's dealt with such, like, high powered people. But she talks about him. It's like an enigma. Like, she's like, it's inexplainable. The way he maneuvers and moves, the way he contacts people, the way he's able to, like, be with someone, stay with them for a minute, and then when he's done, they feel, like, fulfilled instead of like, you. You know how in La people are, like, talking through you a little bit? Like, good to see you, man. Yeah. What's been going on? They're not looking. He, like, hones in, has this relationship, and then she's like, it is unbelievable to watch him work. She says it's. It's like, watch. He's at work. Even when he's not shooting, he's at work with people.

And I heard he says hi to everybody.

He remembers your name.

Remembers your name, right. And I knew he was a good guy when he. That he did that red carpet. Those people pulled the prank where they squirted the water in his face.

Why would you do that? Yeah, that's what he said.

That's what he said. Right?

Would you do that?

Like, if it was Jeanclaude Vat damn van damme? Yeah. He just kind of held his hand. He goes, why did you do that? I was being nice. I came up to you and I knew at that moment, I go, this is a good guy.

It was a brilliant. Look at this reaction.

Yeah, right.

Hits him in the face with water. Is that what it was? It was in France or something.

Yeah, here we go. Emotional, actually.

Stretching. You tell he's like diving in, diving in.

Where's the spray at?

Look at how calm he is.

Wow. It grabs him, but you can tell he's angry.

What's so funny about that?

It's brilliant, though. Why would you do that? It's ridiculous. Yeah, all right. That's what, what's great is he says, do you like making less of people? It was so calm. It's such a.

What a wine.

Do you like making less of people? And you get what I wish. I wish we saw that, the other guy's face. Cause you'd be watching a man crumble as he's being emasculated.

Also, good luck ever getting in a red carpet interview again.

Well, that guy.

You're out.

That guy was. I remember that's got famous. He was a famous prankster in France. I can't remember his name, but he did shit like this all the time. But he did it so calmly. He grabbed his. Imagine a man grabbing your wrist like a boy. Like a little boy. And going, why would you do that? I mean, it would emasculate. I mean, you'd crumble down.

Like, what would you do? Like, what would you do, Seth, you.

Squirted me in the face.

Yeah, I would probably walk away.

Yeah.

I just walk away. Yeah. And you'd be mad the whole time though.

Of course it'd be mad. I don't think I could confront the person. I would probably be stunned and I would walk away because in my head, what's coming next? You know, ah, is it acid? Am I burning? What's happening?

Right, right.

See, he thinks deep, analytical. You know, my anger would be over.

I would have heard him.

I would. I just. I would immediately find an. In a comedic sense, my brain would go, gotta do something mean, but funny. I would try to find water or a drink of some and grab it and throw it on him as fast as I could. I would immediately try to. But I would do it in a way that was almost like I'm trying to hit you. Like, you know, like my hand might be holding onto the cup as I hit you in the face with it.

That's pretty aggressive. Yeah, well, just punch him in the face.

No, no, see, cuz, punching. Because this. If I did that, but he. I could say I just squirted him back.

But what he did was assault. I'm sorry, that's assault. You're allowed to punch him in the face.

I don't think. I don't think that's.

I think this was more powerful.

You're right.

Yeah.

And if this ever happens to any of us, I would suggest that we take the Tom cruise route.

Yep.

Bring the man in and belittle him.

Yeah, belittle him.

Yeah, yeah.

Why'd you do that now? Do you think that's a thing that you should have done? Like a child, he talked to him like that, child.

You're right. He did. He. He did it the right way.

He shrunk a man to nothing down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, would you ever do a christian bale outburst on a set?

Well, we heard that he did. Yeah, we heard. Sebastian. He bursts like that on every set he's on. He's never not done that.

I can't imagine.

Scorsese has said that in a bunch of interviews.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, you know who's a real asshole? Sebastian. Have you ever blown up at all? No. You're so calm.

You're calm.

I don't. I don't know. I've never seen. It takes a lot to get me angry. I mean, there are times where I get frustrated and mad, but not to the point where it's an outburst of yelling and screaming, losing control.

Did your father ever blow up or was he had the same demeanor as you?

He was a little bit more. He had a little bit more of a temper and he would let it go just around us, I don't think around other people. I don't like. I don't like public displays of anything. Anything?

Yeah. When you see somebody kiss in public, like, when someone's making out in a line, you're waiting in a line for a thing. When someone's making out bothers you a lot.

A heavy make out in public, I'm like, really?

Yeah, yeah.

Kiss on the lips. Hey. I mean, fine, but, like, when we're, like, going at it in the line, I don't. I don't really see. Again, we did. The same thing happened when I did tiger.

Why you put. What.

No, you do this thing where your eyes start wandering around the room. You see it on the camera. He was looking over here.

No. Do you know why?

No. We talked about this.

Why? Why? What did I say?

I'm just.

I'm just saying whatever you're doing right now, I don't like. What are you doing right now?

I was just making an observation.

Yeah, but you don't know. And what did I say before when I was doing that?

I don't know what the fuck it was.

I'm thinking, I'm listening to you, I'm ingesting what you're saying, and I'm going, oh, that's good. I like what he's saying. You know what I mean? That kind of a thing.

Let me tell you something, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Especially after the conversation. We just hopped off.

Okay. Okay.

Would Tom Cruise do that?

Yeah. Oh, you want locke?

Lock it in.

Lock eyes, lock it in you.

You gotta realize.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what it's like when you're thinking, Sebastian. When you're thinking about.

Oh, my God.

Movement of conversation, you're thinking, in a way where you're swimming in. In a pool. There's a little bit of water resistance, but it's not heavy. He's swimming in quicksand. When he's trying to think, it's quicksand. That's why he needs to dart. It's such a thick mess. It's a clogged artery up there. And so when he's thinking, his brain is just like Stardew Valley, Arsenal. He's trying to get those away to think about where you are.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I know.

I see you in that order, pretty much.

I know. I see you doing it.

Stardew Valley and then Arsenal.

And then. And then you're thinking about food at home.

Yeah, yeah.

What do I have at my house?

I had a meatball sandwich. See, that's what I thought.

I know. He was right here.

No, I'm listening to everything you're saying, but also, can I just say this before? It's just that I don't. You know, I feel so comfortable around you that I feel like I can dart.

I have no problem with it. I just remember that happening on the other podcast, and I asked you what.

Was going on, and what did I see again?

I forgot.

Okay.

I don't know what the hell it was, but it's almost as if you are physically thinking. I could see the thoughts.

Yeah.

Okay. I want to control that, because.

Do it.

No, I don't want to do it because I'm in situations where I shouldn't be darting.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, so it's like, you know, if I'm, you know, like, at the pitch meeting today, you know, I was darting a lot, and they're like, don't dart.

Are you darting on dates?

I dart on dates all the time, and they don't think that I'm interested.

Well, it's. How can. I mean, you know.

Yeah. Also, I learned some new things, you know. Well, I've been dating lately. I've been learning some new things.

What are some things?

What are you learning?

I learned that if there's no physical touch from them in terms of, like, even touching your arm or, like, you know, that kind of thing, don't go in for a kiss.

This is.

This.

You could be a sex ed teacher.

Yeah. Yeah. Because what I've noticed is, you know, general cues. I know, because when I ask people, like, you know, I've been dating. I went on this date with this girl for three times, and there's no kiss, right? And people are like, I wonder what that is. But then I have kissed before. And so I just been seeing all the signs of the kisses before, and I just realized that there needs to be, you know, I mean, some sort of, like, affection. And then if they're not touching me at all and they're doing, like, quick. Sometimes they do that, like, I'll lean in and they'll pull away. That's not good.

We should just end.

And this last girl that I had, even I tested her today, you know, I'm not lying. I just basically said that when you get out of the car, it's just almost as if you're jumping out of a plane.

Hmm.

Like, when I'm dropping off, like, that was a great date. She goes, she's off. You know what I mean? And so. And she opens the door so quickly, I don't have even time to even get a kiss. Get in there, right? And so in my mind, I'm like, if that happens, it's a no go.

Ask her how quickly she showers after the date. That'll be a tell.

I don't get it.

If she immediately showers when she gets home, it's just she's trying to wash you when she runs away, she's trying to shed you off of her.

How do I say that? They'll go, hey, you know, the last date we went, you know, you left the car. Did you take a shower, like, right away?

Mm hmm. After we go on a date, do you shower right after you're like, yeah, I do.

Like, I do three showers, actually, in a row. I do a scrub ranch. Scrub ranch. Scrub ranch.

I shower, bathe.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I'll go. And then in my mind, I should go.

So that's it.

That's it.

Block your number.

Interested in me, right?

Obviously. Yeah.

Well, let me ask you this, because you were in a relationship for a long time, and I don't really know your dating patterns. When you go out with a girl for the first time, like, where are we going? Restaurant. What do we do?

Oh, I'm glad you're asking, and this is a very good question. Sorry. Something came up. The meatball thing. We heard it. Yeah. So, number one, some people spend their money, right, on things like watches. Right. Or cars and whatnot, you know? But some people, like myself, I like, you know, food.

Yeah.

Like, nice restaurants. Right. What's you, Matt. You mad at me?

Why?

Don't be mad at me.

It's okay.

Yeah. People are different.

We are very different.

Yeah. You know, like, oh, don't, bro, see this? Yeah, this is just an Instagram quick buy. I look at it and say, I buy it. You know, man. So I do it like that.

I often wondered who buys that.

It's me. I'm the guy. Yeah, I'm the guy. Dude. What? Idiot.

As you're scrolling. Who in their right mind.

Yes. I'm the one. Even if I feel like it's not gonna work, I buy it.

Oh, they've got me. They've got me. A few.

Yeah.

So anyway, so I have probably ten spots that I generally go to for the first day where I know the menu, I know how to park, and I know that everyone likes it almost. You know what I mean?

What is one of those places? Give me a spot.

I just want to give them.

Cause now when I say it, other girls listening now, because most of them are bad friends, fans. They're like, oh, he brought me there.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

He's cycling.

I cycled through the same five.

It's actually kind of five to six places.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So there's nothing wrong with saying the place. I mean, it's the place.

All right, so I'll give you. And I know that this is a spot that you like, because I've seen you there before. Yes.

I don't think we've ever seen each other at a restaurant.

We have.

Oh, you can say chosen.

Where is it?

Is it the one up. Up on the roof?

No, chosen.

Yeah. Chosen golden.

It was a korean restaurant on Olympic. And I did run into you there. You're with your wife. I swear to God.

I don't think so.

Yeah. I'll tell you why now. Because it's a story that I tell every girl that I bring there. One time I ran into Sebastian here.

Really? Do you think he would show up now?

Yeah, yeah. It's one of those things. So I know.

Oh, I have to ask. What's it called?

Choson.

We'll text it to you.

It was a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's. I think it's one of the best korean places.

Well, we go. We did your birthday there. We do it. We've done. We've been there a million times.

You took me to a thai place on sunset toys.

I love toy.

Is that it? Yeah.

Back in the day, though.

Yeah.

When used to hang out.

You still go there?

No, I have some money now, man. Oh, what? Too much?

There's nothing wrong with toy.

You're right, you're right. If you want. You want great tie, go to toy.

Well, good. Good tie. Not great.

Right? So then I also go, I'm not done. Okay.

Okay.

Please.

Another one. I do, because I know the guy is major domo.

Mm hmm.

David Chang's restaurant in Chinatown. Because I know what to get there. It's also, you know what's great about dates and everyone listening, right now, you go to a place where you can share.

Yeah.

Right. If you have individual. But if you can somehow, like, you know, they're. They have their hand in the hummus and you can accidentally kind of touch hands and go. You go first. Like, you have. You can have those little moments.

Right?

What do you mean? You know what I mean. Or you do something cute like, hey, you know what? I can't get that plate. I'm gonna just sit next to you. So I'll pull my chair around, you know what I mean? And sit next to him and then just eat that little bit. Make fun, have fun.

It sounds fun.

It's fun. It's fun, right? Here's another thing I do, and this is a great thing. I walk away a lot.

You leave them?

No, no. What I do is I do this. So if they go. If they make fun of my body, right?

Are you on a date with me? What are you talking about?

Yeah, sometimes they make fun of me, like, ah, you're fat. Right. All right, I'll go. Are you son of a bitch. And I'll walk away like, I'm leaving the restaurant. Sometimes I'll even just leave, right? Come back and we have a good laugh about it.

That's fun.

All right, so it's. It's an interesting time with you. I mean, it's very communal. You're eating the same food. You go to the car, you come back.

Yeah, bastia is a place. Bestia.

No one's gonna be bored with him on a day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you look? I'll be annoying for 2 seconds.

Yeah.

Is there any. I. Probably not, but is there any Scorsese stories that you can share at all?

I have a Scorsese story.

Mmm.

I also like the patchy one, but move on. Pesci, whatever number you might do the trailer.

I'm Petchi.

Yeah, this was before. Okay, so we're gonna do the scene in the copacabana, myself, De Niro, and Pesci and.

So cool.

And I didn't know what to expect. I don't know if you guys go through this prior to a new tv show or a new movie that you're gonna do, it's like a first farts part three.

What are you talking about? I do shit movies.

Yeah. Our resume is not.

Yeah. It's not like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you guys have done movies where you're. You're popping in maybe.

Yeah. Okay, not.

Maybe not. Not there. The whole movie.

Like whack a mole. We're whack and we go away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's us.

We've been in there. Yeah, go ahead.

So I feel, for me, it's like a. Like school, and I'm an exchange student coming in in the middle of the year, and everybody's friends already, and I have to kind of make friends with the.

Right now.

Mm hmm.

The what?

I said, you can relate.

I relate to this.

Yeah.

The situation.

He literally had the same thing happen to him.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's why I feel when I come in on these, like two, three days.

Or whatever I'm doing may interject. I know it's your story.

No, no, good.

But also, it's like the highest level of that.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? I mean, these are like scores.

This isn't. This is Harvard. This is.

Yeah. I grew up watching mean streets tax or whatever, you know, I mean, raging bull. I mean, all of it.

This is like you're a new student at MIT.

I can't imagine the pressure and the nervousness. I just can't imagine it.

But go on, imagine at MIT. They're building a fucking rocket. And you walk in the room and they all just turn and they go right back to work. That's what, in my mind is what it is. I would feel.

You're like nothing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, he's fucking here.

Well, I think this is the problem with us, is we create this situation that doesn't even exist yet.

Oh, yeah.

Fear. False evidence appearing real.

Yes. So I went in with the expectation of questioning myself. Do I belong here? What am I doing? I'm a comedian, and now I'm working with these two guys. So the rehearsal, just Scorsese, De Niro, and Pesci and myself, and we're going over the scene. And I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if they were gonna be, you know, in their own world or. But they were very gracious. Hey, how you doing? The neuro heads come up to me and say good things. Good things. Okay. Maybe he knows what I'm doing. So I felt kind of like, okay, that's a nice positive thing.

I know.

And then I do the scene cut and they all get together in a huddle. And I'm not in a huddle. I'm thinking, this is it. I'm going home.

Yeah.

They didn't like what they saw. Second guesses. Yeah. This is. I'm negative in any of my thoughts. I'll give you. Today I got an email from a doctor, and I'm going to go over some blood work. They said, can we move the appointment from 1015 to 10:00 I surmised that they need an extra 15 minutes to tell me I'm going to die. I say, so that's where my head is constantly.

Yeah.

So in this situation, I thought I was. I was done, it was over. And then obviously that was not the case. I, you know, we worked out the scene over and over again and it turned out great. And then, you know, Scorsese ended up in between shots. It was like 50 minutes to set up the shot. Basically kind of sat with myself and not even the main cast, just the other actors that were there telling us how he grew up in New York, laughing, telling jokes. Thanksgiving was around the corner. He started talking about his thanksgiving plans. And at moments, I'm sitting there going, man, this is a guy that, to your point, watched growing up, watched all of his movies, was kind of an icon in filmmaking. The fact that he came from an italian american background, and now he's sitting there telling me where he's going for thanksgiving. I was. It was a really nice moment. So I think the point of the story is sometimes we create something and we think that maybe we don't belong, but truly we do belong. And you just have to kind of believe in yourself and your abilities.

But may I add, we still don't belong. I'm going to stick with that.

Yeah, yeah.

With our side of it, we're not in.

We're on the outside, but. Yeah, yeah. But can I say, this window watching. There are times, though. What? Like, cuz you know, with the little work I've done, I've still worked with Ben Kingsley. I did a scene with him, and this is with Ed Norton. I've done a scene with the recent new movie coming out with Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis, everybody. And you build it up in your mind. I remember, like, the first time I was doing borderlands, I was in hunt. I was in Hungary, Budapest. And I remember I get a call, like, yeah, Eli wants to meet you on set. Right. I wasn't shooting for a week. He wants to meet you right now. I don't know why. They urgently drive me there, and I walk onto set, and they're all there like, Kate, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, everybody. And then Eli comes out, he goes, Angela, I just wanted to meet you, man. Dude, thanks for doing it. He gave me a hug. Everyone was super nice. Like, hey, we're gonna have dinner tonight. You know what I mean? And then in my mind, I'm like, oh, they're just regular people.

Hmm.

But in our minds, we build it up to this thing where it's like, don't lock eyes with them, or you might go, you know, mean, you may be out, you know, and you hear some of these nightmarish stories. You know, you've heard it before, but it's like, that hasn't really been my experience. I just, you know, you too, right? When you're with Zac Efron and John.

Cena, I mean, those guys never talk to me. Not one word, the whole filming.

Yes, they did. You went to Russell Crowe's house.

Yeah, we did.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so are you on set? The comic relief? Are people coming to you? Are you, are you mister, like, personality?

That movie was a comedy, and so, yeah, and Pete Fairley and I were like, you know, we, I would stand around him and just, we pitch each other jokes. I mean, that was like a, I've never done a serious film in my life, so I don't know. I don't know what that would feel like to do. Like a real, for me, it's, everything I've touched is like a goofball. It's, it's wacky, so it doesn't, there is no pressure in that regard.

But that's an interesting point because Scorsese, it's out of our, it's not in our world, right? It's like you have, you're playing with the greatest actors ever to live your mean, and I know you, you're a comedy star comic. I saw you the first time you ever went up. Remember that? Remember that one time you came over with that one line for that HBO show was, I had something with a plane or something, and we rehearsed it over. I wasn't living in that condo on Beachwood, right? And I'm like, you're gonna get this, sab, and you didn't get it. And I remember you being kind of bummed you didn't get it, right. But my point is, is that, so this is the world you come from. So I guess you know, in many ways, it's a little different. What? Dealing with Scorsese in that way. I think the pressure is a little bit more, I think.

Well, because. Yeah, his. His pedigree is so, you know.

Yeah.

Not to say that these other people we work like Eli, are fairly. I mean, they're legends in their own worlds. But Scorsese, he's the league of his own.

I mean, like Tarantino, scuses, maybe, I don't know. Oliver Stowe. I don't know.

Spielberg.

Spielberg. I mean, there's like five or six of them that are like that. You're not, you're not. I didn't mention your name. I'm sorry.

John Krasinski.

Yeah, I think. I think he's coming up there.

He'll be right next to Scorsese.

I think he's very talented.

Shut up, Scorsese.

John Korzy's got the talent.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yeah.

This is bananas.

It's not bananas.

I don't want to do this debate.

We're not doing it.

Yeah, please.

Yeah.

I just work with him.

I know.

You're dad and he is very talented.

I know, I know, I know, I know. But Scorsese.

But listen, here's the. Scorsese. Here's another story.

Go ahead.

Scorsese wants to see your wig. I was wearing a wig in the. In the. In the movie.

Yeah.

Put the wig on. And I'm waiting to go in. This is the first meeting I'm ever gonna have with this guy. I walk in, sit down, and he starts talking about movies from the thirties, forties. This guy's like a movie savant, right? I haven't seen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm trying to figure out how you. How do I hop out of this and get into. It's like someone talking me about the beatles. I just didn't know the movies he was talking about.

Yeah.

So I go, what could we connect on? Kids? So I just had a kid at the time. So we start talking about kids, family, whatnot. I walk out and the Whig person goes, what do you say about the wig? I go, I think he thinks it's my hair. There was no mention of the wig. No, nothing.

Yeah.

About movies and kids. And then. And I walked out and, you know, apparently the wig was okay, but. Yeah. I don't know how to navigate those types of conversations where I'm in the. I feel like I'm at a disadvantage.

Yeah, well, I mean. I mean, when I did that movie hungry, remember I did the shoes and what I said so I was. I show up to Budapest. I don't know anybody. And my agents were like, no one's gonna hang out with us. You have a month there alone. You'd be alone. So I show up to my fucking hotel room and work the four seasons in Budapest, and I. There's a letter on my. On my bed. Dear Bobby, you know, I don't know you, but can you wanna have lunch tomorrow at noon? It was by Jamie Lee Curtis, a huge fan. Right? So I couldn't sleep that night. I was like, what am I gonna say? I gotta do something. I think I rewatch Halloween or something. I don't know what the fuck I did, right? And I show up, pleasant lunch. Then some of the other actors show up, and Jimmy goes, I wanna show you guys something that's very important here in Budapest. So we walk over to the river, and along this river, there's these bronze shoes that are kinda like, like cemented into the fucking ground. And it's, you know. She explains, during Nazi Germany, the Germans came in here and they killed a lot of jews, and they threw them over into the river.

So one of the actors, Cheyenne Jackson, goes, oh, no, these are baby shoes. Right? And like a fucking moron, I go, it could have been a.

Well, this is. This is reminiscent of Travolta.

Yeah, yeah, right? And then the whole group walked away from it.

Yeah.

And I went and didn't get a laugh. And I went, oh, yeah, you're not at the store, right? You know me. So I have to literally like, oh, this is Bobby. You know me in a movie. This is Bobby amongst comics.

And it's that kind of stuff that keeps you out of Mitzi's office at the end of the day. That's kind of an alarm.

I think that's what it is.

That's really.

Yeah, I think that's what it is.

That kinda.

So I did read that wrong.

It's a bad joke. It's a bad joke. But also, you were trying to lighten them.

I was trying to be funny.

Give it some levity.

Even if I was at the comedy.

Store.

It wouldn't have landed. It wouldn't land it. No, but that's because you're nervous. Yes, I'm nervous. I'm like, I want people to like me. You know what I mean?

I told you. I've said this on here, but we've told this story. But same thing I had when Jim Carrey was my boss. And I'm dying up here. And we were eating and conversation was going great. It was about comedy. So we're in our zone. You know what I mean? Like, it was per. It was like we're ping pong. And I was like, holy shit. He's telling me guys he loved. I'm saying, bitch, that I love from guys from back in the day. And we're going back and forth, back and forth. Then there was like, a little lull, and I was like, so where are you? Like, where are you living these days? And he was like, everywhere, man. Where is everybody living? And I was like, fuck, fuck. And it was an inescapable.

I don't get what he's saying, though.

He's trying to say, dumb question. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to tell you where I fucking live. Yeah, it was like a. None of your business. A nice way of being, like, none of your business. A little bit. Not that we. He wasn't so gracious. I think it was a way of being like. I don't really talk about where I live to people do you know what I mean? In his mind, it's like, could have.

Done like a Brentwood kind of a thing.

I think he was just goofing around a little bit, but it was a little like, hey, come on.

Yeah, we're not.

We're not gonna get close, you know? You know what I mean? He was kind of like saying, like, this is the last dinner.

Like, do you text Robert De Niro or. No.

No.

So after you did two movies with him.

Yeah.

He played your dad in what's it, the family father.

My father.

About my father. Right. And after the premiere, after all that, you never talk to him again?

There might have been one exchange of a text message. But no, we didn't have that type of relationship. You know, we did the scene, he sat down at his chair and, I don't know, opened up a nobu, and I was learning my life well, so.

There was never like, hey, you want to grab a bite after this?

No.

Wow.

No, it wasn't like those guys also.

Are the age gap. They're settled in their ways. They've been doing this for so long, they probably like a system. A lot of those guys, they like it their way. They kind of want to.

Yeah, but I'm doing the pitch today, right? I was like, they're like, what actors do you think? And I might. I might. I'm low ball like people I can get. How about the guy that's on NCIS or whatever it might be, right? The 8th lead, right? I mean, for him to go, De Niro is insane.

Yeah, it's wacky.

Did you ask him personally or you went through agents and stuff?

No, we. The producer of our film had worked with Robert before, and he reached out to him and said, hey, I got a script you might want. Like, he read it. We got wind from his team that he really enjoyed it, and he wanted to read it out loud, get it up on its feet, around with. With a bunch of actors. So studio hired a bunch of actors in New York. We all sat around the tables.

You flew to New York?

Yeah.

No, that he walked in. I know.

To New York to fly to a city for a table where you would.

Do that if Robert De Niro.

You're right, you're right, you're right.

Goes, hey, kid, I need you in the Maldives in an hour and a half on your own dine.

Yeah.

I'd be like, I will fucking rent a private jet. All right, Robert De Niro, what level go.

Would you not do it? Let me throw some actors. Carrie, always from a princess bride, because.

I do love him.

He's great. I need you in New York right. Right now.

And I would say, my sweet Wesley, I'm on my way.

You would say yes to carry all Wes.

I don't know, man.

Yeah.

What's the project?

It's a great movie.

What is it?

It's a movie about.

Do it in a british accent.

Hello. It's a movie about his English. Carrie Elwood is English.

I. I thought his name's Carrie. Yeah, I thought it was a woman.

You don't know Carrie Elwes is.

No.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You know, he's british. You've never. You don't never heard.

He didn't have one at the prince's bride.

Oh, interesting. So his accent was different in a movie than it is in real life.

I didn't. Never seen an interview room, so I don't know.

Right.

So what about. What if Seb called and asked me.

To do something for him, and he.

Goes, I have a table read in New York tomorrow. Will you fly to New York?

Yeah. That's not even up. That's. Come on. What are we talking about?

That's a no.

No, it's 100% a yes.

I don't know if I would.

I would do it in a heartbeat.

I think. Who's in it? Okay, I'll fly to New York for you.

God, you'd have to think about it.

No, I would. Fuck. Fuck. Yeah, dude. Anything for him. So what are you plugging that you have a movie coming out or what? Is it so smooth?

No one does it better. Nobody flows.

I look at the numbers, and they're fine. So I'm doing something right.

No, no, I know you. You're. I'm saying I'm not gonna change. You shouldn't.

I love you so much.

I love you more than you.

Okay.

How long you been doing this podcast for?

How many years? Four years. Four and a half years.

How many episodes? Four long years.

Four long, long years. How many episodes are we on? Fans?

223.

223.

Has there been. Was there a moment in your podcast? It was like a tipping point where you're like, wow, we're off to the races. We got a beautiful fan base. Or is this something that was a gradual build and kept onboarding people? When did you know you were popular?

Episode one.

The first one.

No, I would say. I say this was a confluence of. Not to give, like, the backstory, but the truth really was Bobby relapsed, and his dad had died, and I was with him, dealing with it, filling in for him on his other show with his ex at the time. And so I did a bunch of fill ins, and then we had a personal situation where I wanted him to get help. And then he was like, when I get out, I think we should start that show that we had joked about starting. And when he got out was, like, funnier and healthier and happier than he'd ever been. On the heels of tragedy of his father, and we started the show in a little bullshit studio, like a piece of shit cockroach infested. It was fucking gross. And right away, we were having so much fun fucking with each other. And then Covid hit, and so it was, like, perfect timing.

And then not. Anyway.

No, but it was just, like, the harmony. The first episode was wacky, insane, and when we put it out, people were like, oh, yeah, this is. We've been wanting these because the fans had said they should. We should get together for.

But also we. I had this YouTube show called talking. Yeah, interview show. And he was one of the guys, and I just. I always thought that that one was my favorite one, the way he just. Just hit the. We kind of rode the edge together in a weird way. Yeah.

If just back then, people started being like, why don't these two idiots get together? And over the years, we joked about it, something. And then, to be honest, Kalila, his ex, was. She put. She was like, why don't you guys do it? And we're like, I don't know. I have no idea.

And truth be known, and I'm going to say something that's not funny and honest is that, you know, because I know about Simon and Garfunkel and wham. They all broke up. Right. It's, it's, it's egos, right? So for me, it's like I'm, he's the captain of the ship. No, stop, stop. I'm being honest right now.

Stop it.

I'm not stopping anything. You know, he's the responsible one.

No.

Yes.

Well, responsible, but that, and also I.

Give you lot of the decision making. I feel like.

Mm hmm.

Yeah. So my point being is that I have to.

Because you're sleeping.

I know. Exactly. But, you know, mean, but it's like sometimes I'm awake, and even in those times I'm awake, where I go, let Andrew do this. You know, mean. And so I think there needs to be like, my ego, you know, me. It's not an ego thing with us. I think that's what's helped. Like when he's, when he did that movie, you know, with the pier, the fairly brothers movie or feel fairly movie, I filled in with him and I was the first time in my life I was like, so happy for somebody and going, yeah, you know, I'll take care of our home until you come back. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's the first situation where there's no ego. And I'm just happy. We're happy for each other and we get along for the most part, I think.

Well, when you, you know, you and Pete are old friends, right?

Well, yeah, it kind of. I didn't know you guys were that tight. First of all, I didn't know that you fell off the wagon.

That's several times. I only have two and a half years now.

I've put him in rehab.

What?

Three times?

Yeah.

Three times.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah. I almost died.

Wow.

This is Ffyi.

Okay.

Yeah, man.

For, for your information, for your information before.

I mean, so anyway, um.

Yeah, yeah, we've got, yeah, we've been through kind of the, I guess, bringer.

So there's a history there. Yeah, no, Pete and I've known each other for twelve years and kind of same thing. There was no tragedy or anything like that. But we're tragedy, but, yeah, we started our show years ago and I've just always found it interesting how these things become what they are.

Yeah.

And it's always nice to start it with somebody that you already have. Kind of like nobody put you two together and said, you guys, you can't.

Well, I will say, I think that this is. But this is things that, you know, from stand up that, like, this show kind of exemplifies is, like, the fans. It's so much fun. The fans send all this is fan art. We interact with them a lot. It just becomes kind of like this family. And whenever we do the live shows, he kind of reiterates that, that it's like. It really is. Feels like a family. It's fucking weird. I feel like we all know each other. It feels like it's.

No, I've seen the videos. Like, you guys are out there.

It's wild.

You're interacting.

I think that helps the rhythm of it a little bit.

And you also meet them before the shows. We do like a meet and greet and stuff like that. And it's like. It's shocking to see the age range.

And we have people bring their 13 year old sons to the show.

The walk of life are different. Some people are affluent. Some people are more like us. You know what I mean? Gritty. It's a great combination of people. Old ladies.

When we get someone who looks like they would go to your show, meaning someone that's well dressed.

Yes, we got one.

When we get a well dressed. Well dressed, like valets. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

We always go, holy fuck. A Sebastian fan is here to how.

We seriously, let me ask you this. I've been wanting, because, you know, lately I've been doing. I'm not headlining these things, but, you know, you do these big amphitheatery kind of shows. I know you're used to that, but, like, you know, I did one with Burton. Tom was like, 15,000 seeds, you know, and then I'm going out with fully loaded this Thursday, the big arena, you know, and when. Even when I'm on stage, it doesn't. I don't feel like it's a club. I feel like it's not as fun, really.

Do you like the big.

You like the bigger rooms? Because it seems. It's not that fun. You like it?

I mean, if I had a nice small theater, 1500 seats. I like the Wynn Hotel, where I perform in Las Vegas. 1500 seats. Nice, intimate. Is a nice room. I love that room. Yeah. Comedy club. Yeah. You're there.

Yeah.

Comedy clubs. Great. I love comedy clubs. But you get into an arena, it, you know, it loses some of the, you know, intimacy that you would. That you normally see at a smaller place. But. But it's exciting, you know, there's another feeling that you get when you don't do a theater or in a club, it's like the energy of, you know, 15, 20,000 people screaming.

But in your head, are you. I mean, for me, sometimes it's like I'm on stage in front of that many people. I'm like, do I belong? You're like, what the fuck is going. Like, I don't even accept that. Like, this is even a real thing. Do you know how big you are, is what I'm asking you. That's a weird question, Bobby. But.

If anywhere I feel comfortable is being on stage in front of three people or, you know, 20,000 people, to me, it's. That's the one place I feel like I'm comfortable.

Have you ever done a show like that for three people? Like a corporate.

Not. I love corporates, by the way. Yeah, but I've done those. Those shows at the comedy star to speak to what Bobby was saying. When I first came there, I got, like, these, you know, 12 30 01:00 spies. So that.

Terrible, terrible spots.

Yeah, I did a corporate for five. Five adult.

Five people. Is that. Was it planned for five or five? Showed up.

Now, he had a. There was a day, I can't mention the names, but I'll tell you afterwards. But he had a tough day. Canceled the party, and decided to keep just the three, four other confidants with him. And I still had to perform. And I could say no because the check cleared. So I was like, okay.

Good money, huh? Pretty good money.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I fucking did it.

Yeah.

Was this at a home or a banquet hall?

It was at a resort, in a banquet room, in a restaurant at the resort that they had. This man owns the resort, which is even more. It's like all his. So he sent everyone home. And I was like, okay. And I grabbed the. The arm of the girl who was, like, liaisoning me. Like, they gave me, like, a house. And I was in the house hanging, watching tv, eating a great meal. I was just so excited. I think I called my dad. I was like, I'm having a fucking weekend, man. This is amazing. Then we get in a golf cart, we go to the restaurant, and I grab her elbow like a scene out of a sitcom. I go, what's going on? I was like, how is this? And she goes, change of plans. It was a tough day. Something, you know, I think he just wants to keep it intimate, and it's just gonna be the boys. They just ate. They want to drink and laugh, and then they're gonna smoke cigars around the fire pit, if that's okay. I was like, well, it's not okay, but it's over. I'm like, what? What could I have done?

And so then, you know, I had to. I mean, I worked out. Cause I was just. I just talked to them. I mean, I just was goofing with.

Them, but just basically having a conversation. But you're standing up. Yeah, yeah.

And his friend was a fan. His. It was his birthday, so I was kind of like a. The other guys had no clue who. I mean, the other guys were like, what the fuck is it? What? Who is this guy? Yeah, it didn't matter. I was just. But that was the most uncomfortable I felt in all my years. And I was.

You did the full time?

I think I probably was up there for 30 or 40. Just. I was just goofing.

I would do twelve at twelve.

Hey. Yeah, you usually do twelve. That's not a big shift.

I'm sorry. It was funny.

Come on.

That's good. It's a slam.

I've had people at clubs, when I go to clubs sometimes go, Bobby was here a couple years ago, you know, he did 17 minutes.

I'll tell you why. Can I tell you what. Let me defend myself. May I defend myself? If I'm not feeling it, I'm not doing it.

Okay.

Yeah, but there's a.

Stop. Let me finish. Okay. Somebody, and I don't know who, came up with these rules. The feature Mc does this, mouth feature does this, right? And this and that. And my thing is, is like, fuck the rules, all right? If I'm not feeling it and it's not going well, I don't want to make everyone suffer through an abomination.

You're not. It's not never going to happen.

I know, but in my mind it is. So I'm like, you know, at 17 minutes, and that only happened like twice in my life. Right? You know what, guys? You win, I'm out. You know what I mean?

Wait a minute. You headlining and did 17 minutes?

Yeah.

And what are the people? There's a riot.

No, there's a riot. They just kind of. It's weird. They skid up slowly, like, is it over? You're right. And then the waitresses freak out because they haven't put the checks down, right. So now I think one time I went out and go, hey, guys, wait for your checks. Just talk amongst yourselves. Fuck you. I'm out.

You know?

And that was it. Yeah. Wow. And then the manager comes back there and they go, 17 minutes, huh? I go, yeah.

And that's it. They go, it doesn't matter.

They're gonna pay you anyway because no one got the refund, right. It's a door deal. So fuck it. Only a couple times that happens, okay?

Couple.

Yeah. Yeah.

Makon, do yourself a favor right now. Since you've been so quiet and polite, why don't you say something nice to our guests? Because I know you're a fan, so you can go say something nice, and that's it.

I mean, it's just.

That'll be it. Thank you so much.

I appreciate it. Yeah, that's it.

You give him a little bit. You give him a little bit. You don't want to run too far.

And we know what you meant by that. And so. Wow, that's good.

I mean, I will say, can we.

Go to the plug now? Because he isn't out and.

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. We'll make sure you get gone.

Let's get the plug.

Well, don't say it like that.

Or let's do it in organic way, then.

No, listen, I'll do it.

Can I just try?

No, let him do it.

We can edit it so we can feed off of my cone seven. It's so good to see you, man. What's. What's. What you got coming up?

Well, okay, you could keep that. But then when we're going through the tape, let's see how this works.

Right?

You want two versions?

Yeah, two versions.

All right.

Show them both.

Okay. Okay. Go ahead.

Well, I'm gonna do my version.

Yeah, go ahead. That's what I'm saying. Go ahead. What the fuck?

So, you know, being on one of the top podcasts in the world, right? I just see it fitting, since you have a podcast listening audience, to let them know that I have a podcast as well. It's called the Pete and Sebastian show, which we referred to earlier. It's myself and Pete Correale. Sometimes we do guests, sometimes we have a fun banter like you guys are doing right now. He's kind of like a beer and peanut guy. I'm a wine and cheese guy. So kind of an odd couple vibe. On top of that, I just got done filming a show called Bookie, which is on Max. Season two.

Season two.

So if you guys like gambling and comedy, it kind of marries the two. And last but not least, I have a tour that starts in Norfolk, Virginia, July 11, which is 94 shows over eight months called Jesus. It ain't right. And Pete's going with me, Pat McGann's going with me, and we're going to rip through the United States and have a ball. So that's kind of what's going on in my life. But I couldn't be more grateful that you guys asked me to come here and do your show. And it's just a pleasure to see all your success and hard work paying off. One last thing, class. One last thing, though. And I tell you, something distracted me.

I didn't do the I thing. I didn't do.

No, something else you did.

Is it me? What the fuck are you doing here?

I'll tell you what was throwing me off a little bit was the white fingernail polish. I don't know if it's polish or paste or what the hell you got, but I was thrown off many a times with the white fingernails. Is that your new look? What is that? I haven't seen that from you.

Yeah. Yeah. You haven't seen a lot of things.

From where I'm sitting. Yeah, that looks like a satin finish.

It's. It's gels, right?

No, no, I'm talking about the others. You get them buffed out?

I got muffed out.

Yeah.

Yeah. And it's so funny that you bring it up, Sam, because I learned to do manicures from you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, it's very interesting that something that I learned from you. It's like, you know that commercial, son? You know what I mean? What is this? Marijuana. Where'd you learn it? From you, dad. Right, right. So, I learned that this behavior from you, and yet you try to use it against me in a weird way. Don't lean back. Lean back.

No, please.

Lean back. It's aggressive. And lean back a little bit. Okay. Thank you. All right. What's up, dude?

I'm flattered that you started taking care of your hands. How about your feet?

He's gonna show you. They're polished, as well. They're polished as well. Sebastian, you asked for it. Yeah. Look at that.

Yeah, listen, I did might have had some influence on you, getting 100% manicures and pedicures, but for the record, I never had anything other than a clear coach or a buff.

But you can't buy your kid a guitar and be shocked when he becomes a rock star. You know, you showing him the ropes. The kid's got a. He's got to fly.

Right?

It gave me.

Like, you gave yourself a ukulele, and he learned how to play the electric guitar, and now that's what he's doing.

That's what he's doing.

I thought it was tape at first. Almost like Michael Jackson. Like.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's not that. Yeah. It's not that. It's Shell. Okay. I don't know what the fuck that is.

Right?

But anyway, dude, you know, I've never had one.

Yeah, men don't do that. Okay, I also want to. Let's just throw this.

You want to get fucking beat up after the show?

Anyways, thank you. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you.

Who? Yeah.