Hey, bad friends. I am on tour this fall, coming to see you. I'm all over the place. We're adding shows. We're adding dates. I am so excited. In between, Bobby and I going to Australia, New Zealand. I'm going to be going everywhere, man. I'm going all over the place. I'm going to Indiana. I'm going to Ohio. I'm going back home to Chicago. I'm going to Oklahoma. I'm going to Omaha, Nebraska. I am going to Charlotte, Atlanta. You name it. I'm there. Kansas City, Cleveland. I am there. Come see me in Boston, in St. Louis, in Grand Rapids. Come on and see your boy. Go to AndrewSantino. Com for those tickets. Andrewsantino. Com. You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.

I got a movie offer to go to Budapest.

Yeah, I know. I told you to take it. No, I don't know if I'm going to do it. You have to take it.

There's no money.

I know, but it's still like, who's in it?

Marmer Duke's Lick-a-Moo.

Dude, a huge She's on fire.

They.

They are on fire with Marmadooke and Sicamoo, though. Sicamoo is not.

Sicamoo is a boy. Sicamoo is a boy.

Yeah, but Marmadooke is there.

Marmadooke is there.

Toto Candy is in it, right?

She got cut.

Oh, Toto Candy got cut, dude. But Toto, did you see her in Delivery of Mine?

One or two.

Delivery of Mine, two, I think. Yeah, it was two.

The second one was in Portuguese, right?

Yeah.

I like that they don't- But Toto, I mean, she I made a wolf.

Dude, the best wolf you've ever seen in your life. Yeah. Amazing.

Did we ever show that video, that girl who let the wolves lick the inside of her mouth? Look, there's a video of it. She'll open her mouth. Wolf kissing.

Eew, yucky.Yeah.How.

Many diseases did she catch? She dope, but the mouth licking. She dope. Would have threw up everywhere. Please don't watch 3 minutes, 4 seconds That's a wild wolf.She.

Didn't get straight up.Straight up.

Anyway-for those of you watching, yeah, the wolf licked my mouth. So what? I love wolves. That's Toto. That's the girl we were talking about. Oh, yeah. There she is.

Toto. She's very good. I don't know if you've been to Comicon, but that's my first and last time. I'll tell you that right now.

Well, you went and you were with my friends, which I love, two of my dearest friends in the world.

I love them so much, yeah. I've Have you been to Comicon? Oh, my Lord.

Once. Yeah. One time, I went. Comedy Central paid me to go down, and I had to do the intros for the workaholic guys. They were doing a thing. I had to go down and do that, and it was so embarrassing. I'm so embarrassed.

I'll tell you what you see, and it's a wonderful thing. I just have to say it's a beautiful thing you watch. You see different varieties of your favorite characters. I saw a Spinal Biff with a Spider-Man. I saw a fat Lara Croft. Are you sure? Yeah, it was Fat Lara Croft. Are you sure? Yeah, because I was like, She doesn't raid tombs. She raids the refrigerator. I know Fat Lara Croft. Then I swear to God, and this is going to sound mean, but this actually happened. During the day, I'm smoking a cigarette because I had to do a bunch of events. I'm outside and I see maybe a four or five-year-old boy, I'm pretty sure it was a boy, in a Batman outfit in a carriage. Mom was rolling. The kid was He was doing this. I don't know what he had. I don't know. Maybe he was excited, but he was going like this. He was going like that, right? No, it's not a joke. I'm not making fun. I'm not laughing. Yeah, he was going like this. Then I heard the mom go, We're almost there, Batman, and I go, That's not Batman.

That's a bat. Okay?filippino bat.Filippino bat. Filipino bat, all right?

That's what I saw.

No, but why did you-It's literally what I saw.

All All these characters you describe, it just sounds like you were at Kill Tony.

So funny, dude. All right, here's another thing that I noticed, what you do at Comicon.I.

Do, but let's be...I.

Do.let's.

Be nice.I do. Let's be nice, because a lot of our friends and family.

We love them.

Here's the deal. Comic-con brings out the best of...

Insult. The best of the insults. They're the ones that don't shoot up things. Like Star Wars saved their lives.

Yeah. What a peddle when I do this.

Is Comicon like anime Expo?

Yes. It's down in San Diego. It's been going on for, I don't know, 30, 40 years now. I have no idea. But people dress up. That's fun. Images of a Comicon. It is really fun.

I have a couple more things I have on my chest. I'm sorry. We'll talk about what it is. I got to get off my chest, okay.

But show her images while he tells it so she can see what it's like. Look at that.

This week, who was there? It was... Deadpool was there. I guess Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds did Thursday or something. Oh, wow. It was what it was. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Was there.

What is he promoting?

He's playing Doctor. Now, he's the MCU Universe. He's now Doctor Doum. Wow. He's now Doctor Doum. I was there for the movie. I'm on Borderlands. What I noticed, what I do is when you're there at the comic-con and you're at a party, You find yourself lying all the time. I'll give you an example. I'm at a party, like the Entertainment Weekly party. Yes, kid comes out, Bad friends, man, fuck. I go, What's up? What's It's a good show. They go, I'm big fan. I go, Hey, what do you do? Dude, I'm in Rings of power. Then you have to go, It's a good show.

Oh, I love Rings of power.

Oh, my God, the arrows? The arrows are surrealistic, and also the trees.

Well, the rings are probably the ones.

The rings are so good. Oh, you're so good. It's the best show I've ever seen. You have to constantly do that.

You know what I mean?

Oh, my God.

Or you could just not.

Let me try.Okay, ready? You're the guy. Hey, oh, man. No.

Bad friends?

You I have to.Oh, I love you guys. No, you got the rules wrong. You got the rules wrong. You're the one that has to lie.

Okay, you're the guy.

God damn, dude. All right. Chaka. Yeah, yeah. Chaka it out, dude. Oh, dude, Santino.

No, man. Firefly. What's up, Red? Man, I'm spinning.

Hold on one second. Oh, you're the DJ? Hey, dude, anyway, love bad friends.

Yeah, thank you, dog.

Oh, me? I'm in the new Star Wars thing. Security. Yeah. Blank Eyes. I'm in Blank Eyes. Star Wars.Oh.

What are you in?Blank Eyes.Blank.

Eyes?blank.

Eyes.oh, Blank Eyes.Oh, I haven't seen it.Oh.

You would say that.Take it easy.Oh.

You Why would you say that? You're right.

Why I lie? You lie. No, you don't lie. Don't lie then. I just learned that.

No, you know what, though? You probably made him feel good. He's listening, by the way. He's a fan.

No, but here, this kid, he lives in Perth. Are we playing Perth?

We are playing Perth.

All right, so he's one of the main kids in the Eyes of the Power. What's it? Oh, yeah. Ring, rings. Yeah, Ring, Rings. Look it up. Yeah, the Ring of Power.

He's in the Hills Have Eyes?

Yeah. He's a kid, and he has a rings of power. I gave him my number. When we're in Perth, we're going to bring him to the show. Okay, cool. Last thing I want to say is, also, you just realized we're not... What?

Is that him?

Yeah, that's him.

Cool.

Good kid.

Tyro. Zoom in. How do you say his name?

Yeah, that's him for sure. How old is he?

He's a kid. Relax. You know what she's-That's why I'm asking. You're not- That's why I'm asking.

I know what you're doing.

You're a little pervert.

What are you, the fucking Filipino Leo? How old?

How do you say his name? Tyro Mahafiden?

Yeah, good kid.

You know, isn't that?

That's not Filipino. Sure, it is. Do you think he's hot? He's cute.

Yeah, he's a good-looking kid.

And you would? He's young. No. Oh, you wouldn't? How old is that kid? How old is.

Eighteen. Oh, he's too young. Yeah, you're only two years older than him.

That's still weird. I don't want to be a cougar. Well, okay. Hello.

What's a Filipino cougar? A Wombat? What is it?

Okay, here's the last thing I want to talk about, and then we move on to come on. No, we can do more. There's a couple more.

Was Kevin Hart there?

Yeah, he was. I'm not kidding you. I didn't see him, but he was maybe three feet away from me. No. An army comes in first. Yeah. He's got a bubble of an army, and he's in the middle.

Did he say hi at all? No. Nothing, man.

He comes in, does all the press things. I was literally 5 feet away from him. I was trying to look through his bodyguard so that I can find a space and then go look through an arm pit or whatever and go, What's up, man? You know what I mean? We couldn't even find that.Wow.Right. Then he leaves. Then Edgar Ramirez is on the line.He's awesome.Yeah, he's great. I go, Hey, man. You know what I mean? Because I was behind the camp people interview I'm hearing him. He goes, Hey. He went, What do I…? Then he goes, Oh, yeah.

It was like one of those. Then-he didn't know you were in the movie? Yeah.

Jamie was there, too, in the building. Didn't see her once. Really? Dude, I'm telling you right now. Did they hid these people? I might always say something. Because there was two groups. Did you see the robot? Yeah, the robot was there, dude. The robot was there.

That's somebody I really wanted to meet. Yeah.

What I realized is there was two groups. There was the main group. Stars. The stars. Then there was like...

People in the movie.

Yeah. Hair, makeup. You know what I mean? The people in the movie, right? Then after they left, then we did the thing. But we were separated.

Is that when you texted me?

What did I say? Yeah.

You want me to say it? No. Why? You texted me and I called you immediately because I know when he texted me, I know when he's in a mood, and he just wrote, I feel like a loser. It hurt my heart I called you immediately and I was like, What are you talking about? What's going on? You need to get that out of your head.

Yeah, I know. Because you're a super star. I was driving to San Diego. They had my own car. They picked me up from my house. Love it. Driving down, my shade's on, like Tony Stark. Then by the end, you know what I mean? Because it just...

What's so funny, man? What was that? Were you Batman? What were you?

Yeah. By the end, I'm Batman. I'm Batman. No, but because then you go to the parties. I went to two parties. Then once I ended up playing Jenga at the IG party. Not Instagram, IGN. It's a video game company.

Ign.oh, yeah.Yeah..

There was a corner and there was a bunch of like, don't want to make fun of them. They're good guys because they became friends with them, all of them. They were all nerds. Hey, buddy, what's going on, man? You know what I mean?It's coming, come.What?It's coming, come.It's coming on. What? It's coming on.

That's all there. It's coming on? It's coming on. It's the only thing. Don't say words like that. You can't say words like that.

That's what he says when he comes on his wife.

It's coming on. It's coming on. It's coming on. It's coming on.

And she's like, No, no, no, no, no, run.

Right.

So these nerds were like, Hey, man, you want to play Jenga? I swear to God. Why not? There's probably hours of videos out there of me playing Jenga with Abo. I played Jenga all night long. Did you win? I won one. Hell, yeah. And I lost one. Hell, yeah. But what a game. I never even heard of it before.

Shut the fuck up.

I didn't know. I thought they were building something. Well, they are. No, but they were taking away.

That's right.

But then you rebuild on top.

This is the story of life.

That's the story of life.

Dude, that's so good. Giveth takeeth away. Shaka, dude. Shaka. Shaka, shaka.

I played Jenga all night, and then the Entertainment Weekly party last night.

That's the hot one. It's like the real people are there. That's the one where all the people are there.

There's the Deadpool people. There's the The Rings of Power people. I want to say some things about them, but I will not. I will not. Just the arrogance, but I will not. But then there was this half-Chines, half-white dude. Handsome, but he looked maybe like a Wolverine, but he wasn't, Wolverine. He goes, Hey, man, I'm in mortal combat. I go, Okay, relax, dude. He goes-He's Lou Kang? No, I'm also in Deadpool. I go, Cool. He goes, I'm a huge fan of Bad Friends, and I just, Can I please take a photo? I got some of that.Love that guy.Yeah, I love that guy.Louis Tan?

Yeah, put images. There he is, dude.Oh, wow.

That guy's so fucking handsome.This dude right here, dude.Oh, my God.Holy shit. This dude right here, dude, hugged the shit out of my body, dude.

Hey, take it away. I'm going to come.

Hey, hey, hey. Good vibe. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. Take it away. Come on. Look at him. That dude right there, dude. Oh, my God.

He's gorgeous, this guy.

This guy's great.

Pissen me off.

And he gets it. This guy gets it.

What, pussy? Yeah, he gets a lot of it.

He gets a lot of pussy, but he also- His body.

His body is very good. What do you eat? What do you fucking eat, Louis Tan? Dude, Louis Tan?

He eats pussy for sure.

For sure.

Yeah, that's for sure. Appetizer and fucking dessert. I don't know what he gets for his entree.

How do you get a stomach that looks like that? I don't know.

But he's also smell and texture, dude. It's about the smell and texture.

He smells good and he feels good.

Yeah, the texture of his jacket He was wearing one of those like... Hot guy jacket. Hot jacket. I didn't even know where to get a man store.We can't even get in.We.

Can't get those stores. We can't even get it.

It's like, you know what I mean?

Hot guy stores.

T-rex leather. How do you get T-rex leather? You know what I mean? That's not around. He gets it. He has a time machine, went back, killed a T-rex with his hands. You know what I mean? Yeah, he skinned it, right? Skinned it, right? Dried it out. You know what I mean? Anyway, so. And the smell. Where do you smell? Is that big It's a dick energy smell? What is that? It's a smell of like, oaky, fruity.

I bet you he doesn't even have cologne. He probably just smells that good.

Dude, it's so good.

Some guys just smell good.

And would I? Ask me if I want to suck his dick.

Some people smell bad.

Ask me if I... Yeah. Well, that's the people. But am I putting that on? But ask me if I'd suck his dick. Would you suck his day? No.

Look at me. No. Look at me, liar. Look at me, liar.

No way, man.

Look at me in the eyes when you do it.

I'm a fan. Okay, Anyway, this guy was cool. There was a lot of those. There was another, the guy that he's the showrunner for Dexter.

That show's so good.

He goes, I love what you and Andrew are doing. People, they're out there. They're out there. But the most of them are like, What is he doing here?

Fuck those people. They can go fuck. You know what they're not? What? They're not Shaka, though.

That's what I knew. I didn't know the word, but they don't have the Shaka going. No Shaka. Talk to me about Hawaii. What'd you do?

Shaka. Shaka, shaka, shaka. Stop. I love Hawaii.

Give me the positive.

But can I be honest about Hawaiian? Negative sounds. Hawaiian. Am I crazy? You've been to Hawaii enough. Do Hawaiian's... I hate white people. Yeah, there it is. Okay, thank you so much. That's what I was just going to say. Howly, dude.

Howly?

When I come down the road, they go, Oh. I thought it was Toto, that girl from the movie. No, they don't really have the same sense of humor. Do you Do you understand? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Every time I try to make jokes with locals…

It's a different sense of humor.

Seriously. Because we went to a restaurant and I was like, Hi, we'd like to check in for bowling? Yeah. The woman was like, There is no bowling?

Oh, right.

I was like, Yeah, no, just dinner. We're just having dinner. Can I just say something? And of course-Can you say something?

What? Not that funny. Yeah. That's not funny? It was just a slight-I don't know. It was small. I'm at the... Let me go.

It's small.

I'm the hostess.

Aloha.

Shaka.

Aloha, shaka. Shaka, Aloha.

Aloha. Mahalo.

Mahalo, Mahalo. Hi, we're here for the AIDS benefit.

That's funny. Okay, so you did... That's funny. That's funny.

No, but it was just a small throw away. But I feel like a lot of people, they hate us.

Yeah. They hate us. They hate you. Not me.

But I'm not a regular wife.

I know you're not.

I will tell them-Miccone is a regular wife.

I'm invited to the meetings. Thank you. Please. Yeah, it's in Pai'aya in Maui. I go every year. You know the road to Hana? It's the first mountain on the top. We have a meeting. Beautiful. There's a crane bird there. It's beautiful. Anyway-do you eat it? No, it's just there. I'll tell them, but because I'm Asian-Yeah, you have a pass. Yeah. For some reason, I never get shit, and I love it. That's why I go there so much, Hawaii. I know. Yeah. It's like when I used to do Magnum, people used to come to the set and go, Who's local? To the people, the camermen, all these people. I'm like, What the fuck? He goes, All the locals should be working on this show. People would literally come and protest in that way. We're like, With any colonized place, it's like, We won. You guys were the kings of it. You know what I mean? You guys died. In France, you got driven out. In Italy, in Vietnam, you got driven out, right? No, you're not French. He's Spanish. Yeah, Spanish. What did they take? Spanish took the Philippines. You were driven out.

Well, they took I mean, they're pretty-Eventually, we were kick out of everything. They conquered everything.

Yeah. I'm not saying that's a good behavior.

It's bad behavior. No, it's really bad. It's really bad. What you guys did was really bad. Look at that. Argentina.

Are you guys mad at the Spanish? You're Filipino. I'm in the middle, but there's some people in the Philippines that hate fancy.

Korean.

Oh, and we hate Koreans. We hate Koreans.

No, because Koreans hate on us, too.

No, we don't. We just look down on you.

Every time I go to Korea town, I feel so little.

No, not in Korea town, but in the Philippines, I've seen them. Can I say they're not my Koreans? When I look at those Koreans, I go, What are you being cocky about? Look at you. You're the ones that got kicked out of Korea. You're fat, more yellow than most. I don't like it. They don't have the skill set. You're not Sai. You're not Sai. They don't have Sai. They can't direct films.

Unless you're Gognum style, chill out.

Yeah, you have to. Or Kim Jong Un.

He's the number one.

He's the number one.

I shockered my way through the island. I went on a five-mile hike. Loved it. Into a ravine. What's really weird is, I mean, this is public knowledge. What's a ravine? A ravine is a big, A huge valley. Any water used to run through it. We were on the island of Lanai. Do you know Lanai?

Yeah. I mean, the way you're talking to right now, it's a little talking down.

No, I don't know.

We're on the island of Lanai. You know Lanai? It's like, Relax, dude. Howly.

Do you know it?

I do know Lanai. Have you been? Have we been on Lanai? No. Then no. Go ahead.

Larry Ellison bought it a couple of years ago.

It's really weird. That's the guy.

I I asked every local because there were some fans there, which was nice. People would be like, Yo, we're a big bad man. I was like, Oh, thank you. That's great. Then so I would talk to the locals and befriend them. Everyone, I was like, Be honest. Do you like it or do you hate it? That Larry... You know what I mean? Because this fucking rich white guy buys the island, and all of them were the same. They were like, No, he's done some good shit. He's keeping it legit. He hasn't fucked with the locals. You know what I mean? He's doing the thing to not get in their way. Sure. But I could tell there's a little undercurrent where they're like, But if he fucks up, we'll kill him.

They're not going to do nothing.

I don't know, dude. You're on their island. Yeah, you're right. 3,000 people. It's small. It's beautiful.

You were there the That's the only island you were at.

Yeah, where else would I want to go?

What were you doing there? Vacation lady? What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh. Shaka, dude.

Dude, Shaka, dog.

Shaka, dude.

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This is a paid advertisement. Yeah, I went hiking. But the best part is because I stayed up in the mountain, so it was a different… It wasn't like Hawaii. It wasn't like a beach. I wasn't at a fucking beach resort.

No, I saw the room.

That's nice. It was so nice. They had little ansens, little Japanese ansens in the forest.

You could go sit. Is it incens you're trying to say?

Ansens. Oh, onsen.

Onsen.

Okay. Anyang?

Haseo.

Haseo? Yeah. There was little hot tub ansens in the middle of the fucking forest. You were surrounded by it. It was incredible. Honestly, but there's signs out there that say... Because it's an adult-only resort, no children. There's signs everywhere that says no alcohol and no bodily fluids.Oh.

I'm out.No fucking.

Yeah. Oh, you can't fuck.

You can't fuck in the onsen. You can't. Oh, you can have another. But you can fuck a lot of it. Everywhere else. Yeah, you can fuck everywhere.

Did you fuck outside or no? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Inside, outside, upside down, on the roof in the lobby, in the front lobby.

We were checking in. Wait, is that the island where... Remember the monk? Was that not a monk? It was Dalai Lama. You know how there's seven... Is that Vortex? Energy Vortex. Energy Vortex. In Hawaii, there is one, but then you can't get near it.

What do you mean? You'll die?

No, there's people guarding it, so you can't go to the Energy Vortex.

I want to go.

Yeah, there we go. There we all are. How many is there? Do I have it How many vortexes are there?

One, two. What does that say? World Map of Major What?

There's seven major ones. Chakras and-Shaka. Yeah, Shaka. But it's like, you and I, dude, we all have to go to a vortex, dude.

I would love to.

I don't know what happens there, but the Dalai Lama goes and he gets some shit out of it. Maybe that's where he's like, Suck on my tongue. I don't know, but maybe... But we went When me and Collider were still dating, we drove by one. When we tried to get to it, and they wouldn't let us even near it.

Why? They guard it.

I think the FBI guards it.

Whoa. The feds? Okay, so where is the closest one that we can get to?

Yeah, the closest vortex near me. Just go to your maps, Google Maps, and see if it may be able to put this vortex in there and see what happens.

You go to Yelp and people are just leaving their views. They're like, This vortex was… The energy was not as good as I thought.

They The Indonesian one's way better. Yeah. Yeah. Sedona.

Cathedral Rock. Sedona.

Wow.

We got to go to Sedona, Arizona.

Catherdral Rock. Their own particular energy.

Each rating in its own energy.

I want to know what happens, dude.

I bet you get enlightened. You must feel physically something.

You think? Yeah. I don't even know what a vortex is, to be honest with you. No. Let me define vortex.

Center of the thing.

Can you define vortex? It's where gravity pulls you in and then it spits gravity back out. Very good. What is it? That's really good. A vortex is believed to be a special spot on Earth where it's believed to be, I don't like that confidence.

Yeah, it's got to be.

We think. You know what I mean? Where energy is either entering into the Earth or projecting out of the Earth's plane.

That's what she just said.

You had the right... College is working, huh? Yeah.

Can Vortex energy help you? Some say the Vortex energy in Sedona is so powerful, you can actually feel it. Help you take giant leaps with your spiritual development. We can get closer to God.

Wow. I knew that about Vortex.

The Native Americans believe that spiritual transformation can occur more quickly and easily in Sedona because the veils to other dimensions are thinner there.

Why are you closing your eyes and shaking your head, Carlos?

You don't like thin veils?

No, I just think the Native Americans probably didn't know much about science. And math and stuff. Okay, here we go. Here we go. They didn't have calculators.

What are you talking about? They invented the TI-83 we all use. Native Americans made that. Oh, that was Cherokee. I'm sorry. Yeah. I want to takeMany button punch.Vortex..

You want to take Shrooms and go to the Vortex.

You want to take Shrooms and go to the Vortex?

Yeah, that's fine. We'll take a trip to Sedona.

I was going to send photos of my Shaka trip, but it was fucking amazing, man.

Yeah, I didn't see any Shakas or photos either.

Then I We rented a Jeep and we went off-roading, and it got a little sketchy, I'm not going to lie. There was a part of it where we were careening down this fucking… Because it's no roads on the side of those mountains. We're just slamming down the thing, and the Jeep is going like, You're driving?

Oh, yeah, dude. What's your wife doing?

Freaking the fuck out. Hating every second of it. She fucking hated it. We were like, We'll go down to Shipwreck Beach, and we go down to Shipwreck Beach. Getting up was insane. What was it?

Was there a wreckage?

There was a shipwreck at Shipwreck Beach.

Yeah. You saw it?

Oh, yeah.

Just describe that. I've never been to see a shipwreck.

Boat in water. That's all it was.

Oh.

Literally, that's there. That's there at Shipwreck Beach.

That's insane.

Off the Coast, yeah. That's incredible. Fucking wild. So zoom in.

Can you go in there?

No, but they do boat tours around it. I think divers dive around there, too.

How It doesn't seem like an old ship, maybe in the World War II?

I don't know how… It's probably crashed.

Is it Germany? Or what? Is it 200 years ago. Japanese?

Is that what it said? 1980.

Oh, well, what does remove it then?

Historic. No, it's so big and high. It's not historical.

Give a shit. It was like an old pirate ship. You know what I mean? They go, Mighty.

Well, let's just pretend that it is. Okay. Honestly, it's a beautiful little a tiny island, a cool little rad getaway, and you got to take one of those little scary planes to get there. You know the little like... The ones where the whole time you're like, Please don't crash me.

Dude, let's buy an island.

No. What are we going to do with it?

Look how big that island is.

Sixty million dollars.For.

One island?Yeah.

What the fuck? We don't have 60 million dollars.

But no one will be there. We'll get a Starbucks and a coffee bean.

Let's start a GoFundMe right now to buy an island.

Yeah. Is there one? Okay.

Bad Friends Island.

Yeah, Bad Round. Okay. Round Island, Nova Scotia is 58 million.

No, 58,000.

58,000 for 2.7 acres. I see. That's nothing. That's nothing. Wow.

Okay, let's buy it. Let's see.

Now, forget it. Buy one in the Philippines. Yeah, they're a beautiful islands there.

What were you going to say? I watched Ghostbusters on the plane. The frozen empire.

Yeah, I did it for that. You did? Yeah, like some Hunter guy. Hunter?

Yeah.

What Hunter? I There was a scene. I remember there was a scene where... I don't remember, but- You could have been a ghost.

The ghost on this one looked weird. Like the green one?

What?

Yeah, there was a couple of ghosts. Really? You could have played a ghost easily.

Was it a movie good?

Yeah, it was fun. It's fun to see Slimer. Good to throw back to Slimer.

Bill Murray and all that. Dan Acker was in it. No Harold R. M. S. Sadly. Sadly, yeah. Sadly. But-you highly recommend?

Mr. Paul Rudd led the movie. Wow.

That's fun. That's fun.

A cute guy. Very cute.

Did you ever see the original Ghostbusters? No. How about Let's go with the classics of those types of movies. No Ghostbusters. Goonies. Yeah, I've seen Goonies.

In the Graveyard Cemetery. At Synespia.

Oh, you saw it there? Yeah.

Hey, you guys.

You remember that? Yeah. Then what else?

Who does that look like?

Me.

No. Yeah, it sure does.

You ever see Gremlins? No. Is that a classic? Yeah.

I mean, but that's so old.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. I can't believe this. I was going to talk... Sorry. It made me so mad, dude. You okay? No, I'm not. It made me so... I just remember. I don't know why that just brought this up. What? But I'm going to tell you, dude, I got a haircut. Can we see it? No, it's right here. So check it out. Who did I call? I called Macone. I called Macone. So I called you, right? Yeah. This is a fact. I met Rudies. Rubies. Rudies? Rudies. Floids. I was at Floids. Come on, you're not shocking anymore, dude. You're like, Curry up. I like to melt in it. Shauwkai, good. Keep going.

You're at Rudies, I'm on my phone and I'm like, I think I'm on Instagram, whatever, and scrolling.

There was a little scene of Timothée Chalamet. Love him. Great Italian guy in the new Bob Dylan movie. It He was singing. I was like, Dude, that was pretty good. I might watch it. I turned to the bar and I go, Dude, this Bob Dylan movie. He's like, Who? I got Bob Dylan. He's like, No.

What? Yeah. How old is this gentleman?

In his 20s. He told me I could even say… His name was Ray. He even said I could say his name because I said I was going to talk about it. Okay. Then I go, Wait, wait, dude, Ray, are you… You know what I'm going to say. Are you Batman? Yeah. He No, dude. I'd never heard of him. I go, All right, hold on. Fucking the barber next to him. I go, Dude, Ray doesn't know who Bob doing. She goes, Oh, I like his paintings. I go, No way. Yeah, I swear to God. I go, His paintings? She goes, No, that's Bob Ross, she said. I stood up, went around the whole barbershop. No one knew who he was.

No way.

In my mind, then I called McCone and I go, I'm sorry, dude, you're a part of this generation. I go, Please tell me you know who Do you know who Bob Dylan is? No. See? That's what I'm saying. It's a travesty. Did you get the Bob Dylan haircut? Hey, don't get mad. Shaka, shaka. Shaka, shaka.

He looks so much like Bob Dylan. Yeah.

You don't know who he is. What's a popular song? Oh, my God. Like a Rolling Stone. Like a Rolling Stone. Okay. No. The One in the Wind. Yeah.

I'm trying to think of what she would know. What rapper has used a Bob Dylan song and remade it?

Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. The Man and Me is in the big one. But he didn't write that. It was a cover, I think. No, he wrote that, but people covered him. People covered that.

The Man and Me will do… You know that?

Yeah. Almost any time. I want you. That song, I want you. Yeah, that's a great song. Anyway, Bob Dylan, in terms of the people that are living on planet Earth, that have cognitive reasoning and eyeballs. He's like the Beatles as big and the Rolling Stones in the sense of the impact musically. He's a huge figure of the late '60s. You know what I mean? He's just a musical icon. It's like a Sinatra. I might not be a Sinatra fan, but I'm well aware of who he is. He's that type of character. No one in your generation, except for Macone, knows who the fuck he is. Maybe I'm like, Get off my lawn. I think I'm that old now. I'm not. So, Macone, I called him to see if I was the old man going, You know what I mean? The kids of this generation, and complaining.

I'm seeing him on Wednesday at the Bowl.

He's alive? Yeah. But is that shocking to you?

Bob Dylan? Yeah. Sadly, I get that he hasn't been as popular through culture through time. The Beatles will… You know who the Beatles are? The Beatles, it's just something's kept up their culture, kept up in culture. Bob Dylan probably didn't. Yeah, I've never heard anything. Yeah, this makes sense. It's oddly makes sense to me because you don't see him again on stuff. He's not on a fucking Pepsi commercial.

Except for the fact that Timothée Chalamet is playing him in his own movie.

I agree. I'm saying I get why young people don't see him because he's not in culture. The Beatles are still in culture.

You think this is going to help? I I think it's going to help. Yeah. Then Ed Norton Jr. Plays, what's his name? The country guy, what's his name? He was so good. I forgot his name. The trailer was good. It looked so good. It looked so good.

Does he sing, Timothée Chal? Yeah.

Wow. That was like, it's his voice, right? I think so. I think it's his voice. I was like, whoa, this guy's talented.

It makes me mad when people are that talented. I know me, too. Well, we don't have any of that. Austin Butler. Let's try to sing. Row, row, row, row, your boat gently down the stream. Street?

Stream?

Why would the boat be on the fucking stream?

It's got wheels on it, this boat.

Oh, it does? It's going to the beach. The wheels on the boat go- Round and round, round and round.

You know why I know this? Here's what I know. Do. Yeah. No, dude. No, dude. No, let's start over, dude. Okay. Do, D. Do, D?

No. Isn't that an old-That's not a song. Indian song? No. Sorry, go ahead.

Do, a-A deer. Yeah, that's it.

I was going to get there.

That's all I know. No, Do, a deer, a female, dreer, ray, A drop of golden sun. A drop of golden sun. Me. Me, a name I call myself Fa, a long, long way to run.

I like that they did Fa instead of Fa. That's great. Fa.

It's manipulating the word.

Yeah, Fa. Fa. A long, long way to It's a Boston way of sing fa. Fa. Over there. It's Fa over there. A long, long way to run.

Then I know from that movie, Edovise, Edovise.

You know that was Hitler's favorite song?

I know. It still is a very good one. It's a banger. Yeah. The Hills are Alive. I just know those, but that's all. I don't even saw. The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music?

Yeah.

It's great. I've talked about the play I was in, right?

What play?

You don't know?

No.

I have never told this story on this fucking podcast. Oh, it's a big story for me. Let's hear it. All right. I never knew I was funny. Okay. Shaka. Shaka did. In my freshman year of high school, I think it was eighth grade. Eighth grade, I auditioned for a play, and I beat me out in the play. Fuck. Then Three days before they're actually putting it up, it just bailed. I played Kurt from the Sound of Music, one of the kids.No way.Yeah. You did? Yeah. There's a scene where Frolley Maria is, you know what I mean? The place was packed. It's packed.

Eighty people. Slammed.

Like 150.

Okay.

To a kid, you're nervous.

Let me see Kurt from Sound of Music.

Right. This There's Kurt.

That's who I'm playing. That's fucking me.

I know, but that's what I'm playing. You played me? Yeah. So Frolly Maria is meeting the kids for the first time. Mr. Von Trap, I think that's his name, whatever his name is, right? Yeah. He's calling his kids down. The kids come down the staircase in order. As soon as the audience sees me, the place goes pandamonia laugh. I literally remember this, people going, and my dad was there. My dad was looking around like, What the fuck is going on? At first, it was like, Uh-oh. You know what I mean? What's so funny? I'm listening. I was like, Uh-oh, this is shameful. But then I'm like, No, I like this.

Were you the only Asian kid? Was all white kids and you?

Dude, the fond-trap family is… Yeah.

That's why they're laughing. That's insane. I know. One little fat Asian kid comes in. I know.

It's funny, though. Think about it. Then I have one line, I'm current. I'm 13, whatever the line is. As soon as I step four because we're in a line, the place goes… Then I was like, I was like, hamming it up. I did this with my hands. Then I remember afterwards, I went up to the director. I think he was like, Oh, I'm so sorry that they were laughing. I go, No, can I change the lines? He goes, No. I go, Yeah, I think it'd be cool if we justify it. If I go, I'm current, I'm 13, I was adopted. Or I'm Kurt. I'm 13. I played on the Sun longer than anybody else. Or something that would ground me into the thing, right? Play with it. And he said no. Every night we did that play, I got a huge laugh.

Did you change the lines? No. The director did not have good enough vision.

The same thing happened when I played Huckleberry Finn. You didn't play Huckleberry Finn. I got it. It's on my Instagram. One of my first earliest posts, I played Huckleberry Finn. Oh, my God. But it's like, those were the first times I got laughs from a crowd, and I think that stayed with me. You know what I mean? I know they're laughing at me.

No, they're laughing with you.

They're laughing together. Yeah, that's right.

Because it at you is like mocking, but you're being funny.

I think I was doing it. I knew, maybe instinctually, so I walked down in a funny way. Yeah, you ham it up. Yeah, you ham it up.

You do that now.

I do that now. I went like this. I knew I was going to get a laugh, and I think I was addicted to that.

Yeah, it's a crack.

Did you do any plays?

I did in college. I'm dead serious. I did the vagina monologs. You did it? I swear to God.

How?

Because it's all women, and they needed a guy for the abusive husband.

Oh, I get it.

I played the abusive husband. Yeah. I hated it because I was an asshole the whole time. Yeah. There's nothing redeeming, and you're supposed to hate the character. The teacher that put it together, the professor was like, You could maybe act for real, for real. Wow. I was like, Really? She's Yeah. She was like, Do you want to sign up for anything else? I said, No.Oh.

You're done?I.

Just was...

But how did you get the bug then?

To act?

Yeah. If you only did vagina monologs in college, that gave you the bug? How did you know you could do it?

Well, I didn't know. Standup gave me the fucking... Then when I moved out here and I started doing sketches, I realized that I got it. I understood that I was...

I did improv in high school, so I knew what it was. You know what It was fun. Did you ever do improv in high school?

Did you do a play? I did, but it got canceled because of COVID.Thanks.

A lot, COVID.Thanks, China.

Oh, cute.

That's me as hucklebar.

What a cute little boy.

Yeah. I did it young.

God, you were cute.

Yeah, I performed.

That's how you got the phone. You were a thesbian. That's the word. I Take off your beanie. I want to see your hair. I want to see your new haircut.

I'm not going to go there again.

No, it looks good. I think it actually looks… The shape is nice.Do you like it?It's good. You look like old-school you.

I did.

I did, too. That's how he looked years ago.

Back in the day, yeah, I think you're right. You did. I think you're fucking absolutely right, dude. Let me look at a photo real quick. Hold on. Let me look. I'm going to reverse it.

It looks pretty good. Yeah, it looks really good.

I didn't tell you this. Fuck, I forgot to tell you this. Yes. We went to Nobu for lunch, right? They go, I'm like, I didn't order because I guess people ordered things an hour before, so it would be ready.

Who did? Production?

Yeah, all the actors and stuff, you know what I mean? I never got the note. When I showed up at Nobu, I was like, Wait, you guys already ordered? Yeah, because we got to go. I'm going to order. You know how I freak out? I ordered 15 things. But then they had ordered a lot of I didn't really need the order. So I over ate. At the end, there was a dessert with a lot of cream in it. You know me, though, with the lap.

It was a Kam Kam.

Kam Kam. It was Kam Kam, yeah. You know me with lactose, right? I'm doing an interview with-Did you have a modium with you? No. You didn't bring it? No. Ask Emmy. I sat down in the middle of a thing and has looked at me from behind the cameras, and she looks at me, she goes, Okay. I'm like, I don't know. Then she goes, Can you wait five minutes? I'll try. Then they would ask me a question. I was so weird because I was clenching.

You were pinching and clenching.

I was clenching. It's like one of those huge I don't know what the fuck out was. Like a Fandora. It was like a huge thing.

Pinch right now. Let me try to be an interviewer. Bob, this is a great movie for you. Excited to be in borderland?

It's exhilarating experience, the movie. This is literally what I said. The movie is exhilarating experience with a punch for With Fun Act. It was a great cast. It literally, I was saying that because I was clenching so hard. With Janina. You know who Ben Davis is? You ever played Red Dead Redemption? Yeah. He played Zdatch.

Oh, right on.

It's literally him. Put Dutch in Red Dead Redemption. That he plays him. I'm there with Janina and him, and I just stood up and ran out. You had a shit. In the middle of a question. It was so fucking embarrassing.

What are you working on next? Yeah. A turd?

Yeah.

I'm working on it. She told me that. I was like, How's it going? She said, Good.

Did she really say that?

She was, Other than Bobby having to shit in the middle of an interview.

Yeah, it was embarrassing.

No, she said it was fun. They loved it. They laughed.

I know they laughed when it happens, but the thing is that I don't think it's funny.

What's a lesson learned? Bring a modium.

That's right. You got to bring it. Yeah, every time because we find ourselves in this situation.

We always eat dessert. That's right. And we always eat cream. That's right. You and I love cream.

I'm a cream guy.

We're cream boys. Any form.

We want to be filled. Any form of cream I like.

Fill me up with cream. Yeah. We got to have a... You know whose job that is to have a modium? These guys at all times.

Do you have them on you?

You got to keep that thing on you, dog. You got to say, Strapped up with that modium. You understand? Yeah, we'll get some. Thank you.Strap it up, dog. Stay strapped up, dog.

What's going on in your little world?

I've been surfing.Surfing, huh?Yeah.

Interesting.shaka.shaka, dude.Shaka hard.How's it going? You good?

I'm so bad. It's so hard. Have you ever tried to surf? Oh, my God.

Are you crazy?

Yeah, it's impossible. It's so hard. I've never been out there. It's so hard.

I'm paddling and I'm still on the beach. For an hour, you're paddling and your feet are still on the beach.

Just in the sand. Yeah.

Can you get out there? No. Then once you get I think at one time, it's like the timing. You're exhausted.

Yeah. You have to sit and wait and sit and wait and then try, fail. Sit and wait, sit and wait, try, fail.

Why is it fun?

I don't know. It's like, and people always say, if you keep at it, like skiing. When you ski and you fall a bunch, you first ski, and then you're like, once you click, you go, I get it. I got it. Good.

I can ski like a motherfucker.

Never happened. Damn, was that Black Bobby? Yeah, I know. I can ski like a motherfucker. There you go, Black Bobby.

The first time, though. I was up on the slope.

Okay, player.

But surfing is different.

It's impossible. It's impossible. Impossible. I thought of you, I went to a little cat sanctuary in Hawaii. Oh, yeah, tell me. The girl working there was very cute. She's like, There's like 400 cats. She was like, This section is for young, spry, fun, like comfy cats that like to play. This one, this cage, is filled with our geriatric, disabled, and special needs cats. Where do you think I hung out?Right there.For sure. I couldn't wait to get in.How bad were they?I was like, Amazing, dude.

Was it I know. It's the cat version of Comic-Con.

It was like, Cat-a-con.

Yeah, Cat-a-con.

Dude, it was the cuteest shit. The old fucking cat, this one cat, I'm not kidding. He looked like an 80-year-old man. Oh, wow. He looked like an old, withered man. They give you a bag of food, and I go to give him some food, and I'm not exaggerating. I'm not kidding. He looks at it and he points down at the ground. No. He's not going to eat it from my hand. I swear to God, I put it on the ground. He looks up and he looks up, and he looks back, and then goes and eats it.Wow.He's.

A grumpy old man.

He's like, put it on the fucking ground. I'm not going to take it out of your hand.Yeah.

Wow.it.

Was really fun.

That's cool.

What else did you see? Well, there was one cat that had one leg.

That's not bad.

It was really tough to look at. Why? One leg? It had one leg.

I've seen it. Can we talk about fashion special needs cats for it just for a second?100%.Yeah. There are certain things they don't know how to do, like lick their paws, or they lick something else? Did they miss? They're missing it. What do they do? You know what I mean? They just have needs. I know what they do. Special needs guys, right? They cover the pou first and then pou. They don't know the order. What else did he do?

Anyway.beautiful.

Cats.beautiful cats.Beautiful.

Cats, yeah.Beautiful.

Cats, I guess.Wow. Then how many of them were there?

Of the special needs ones? Yeah. Maybe like 30 or 40. There was a lot of cats. It was hard. It was hard because you… But I donated. We donated a lot of money, so it made me feel better about it.

Can you bring your own food? That's what I would do.

They give you the scoop of their food. They want the cat But the funny thing is a lot of these cats at these places, they're overfed already. They're fat as fuck. You're like, I don't even know if I should give this guy more food. There was one who couldn't even miaou. He morphed. He was like,. He was so fucking fat. He was a morphine. He wasn't even miaou. I was like, Oh, my God.

They're probably all clipped, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, they have to be clipped. Yeah, because they're roaming around free outside.

If it wasn't, imagine. If I was a cat, oh, my God. Fucking. I'd have 10,000 babies.

You'd be Genghis Khan.

I would even go to that Lehman cage area where you were and do them.

In the geriatric cage?

I don't care.

If you're a cat, what do you care?

I don't think they have... That cat's not licking his paws right. You know what I mean? I'm still going to tap that.Cats don't know. They don't know. They don't have the same issues we do as a human.

What do you think a cat thinks when it sees another disabled cat? Yeah, it doesn't think anything. No, cats are smart. They're thinking. Yeah, sure. A dog would just be like, We're all the same. We're all the same. We're all the same.

How slow that cat is. Yeah. They think, you know what I mean?

Why can't he get up here? What's wrong with him?

I'm going to go down there and do it.

I like when cats, when they call each other, a few of them were getting fight. I love that. They put their hand up slow and they show the other cat, they're like, Hey, I'm going to fucking hit you. The other cat's like, winces. Then they start beating. They were fighting. It was awesome. But they show it, which I think is cool. They're like, Look, look, look. I'm going to fucking hit you. Then they fucking start to smack them.

Here's the thing about cats, what I don't like, because now I'm a single dude living with three cats. So it can be completely quiet for 24 hours. You're sleeping. Then you hear... You You hear this abrupt noise, and there's something going on. Here's another thing I caught Min doing.

Are they fighting?

Yeah, something. They do things, too, that you go, Should I go take them to the... Because there's something going on. What How does she do? So Min was staring at nothing.

Just like off into space?

No, it was just she was staring at something, but there was nothing there.

Then your house is haunted.

But then she got scared.

Stay, Shaka.

This is what she did. She was staring at nothing, and then she went… I ran out the house. I ran out the house.

You moved. You moved. You put your house for sale.

They do things like that.

By the way, that's because your house is haunted. What? Your house is 100% haunted. I could feel it whenever I visit your house. The first time I went over to your house, you told me to go downstairs. I went downstairs. You were in the room.

That's my dad. Because the box is down.

Oh, it's downstairs.

Yeah.

Every time I go downstairs, it feels…

Yeah.

It feels like there's almost like a… It feels like a vortex. A vortex, yeah. And I'm in a vortex.

Do you really feel? No, be honest with it. I swear.

I do feel in your house. The fuck, man.

Shut the fuck up. Really? Yes.

What do you mean? I'm promised.

Honestly, you've been to my house. I mean, it's not a light energy. Dude, that was the most honest you've ever been.

The downstairs. The upstairs is. That's what I'm saying, the downstairs part. The downstairs is fucking weird.

Downstairs is not a positive No, it's not. Mccone, you really believe that?

Yeah, I think the statue at the front scared me, too.

Oh, it's the statue, maybe.

No, the statue's not it. That's not it. He's just a pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not it.

People don't know I have a gigantic red statue. Of a guy. Of a Japanese man bowing. It's huge. It's probably taller than- You. Yeah, taller than me for sure. Anyway, and I have this gigantic window. When people come to my... I have a just gigantic orange dark door. I'm not giving anything away, right? No. And this orange, metallic door. There's a jacket at the window next to it, and there's a Japanese… It was solid red bowing. But I do that for intruders.

Right, so they get scared away. It's actually very smart. Or Mocones.

Yeah, or Mocones. Idiots. Yeah, idiots.

But that downstairs, one time I was walking down there, I think I was going to get something out of the garage. I was helping set up for the party with Kalala, and I went down there, and I thought I heard someone to me. I turned around and I was like, What?Oh, my God. Here we go. Nobody was there. Then I sat for... You know when you just stay still for a second because you're waiting for it to happen again? Quietly, I heard, If are you gay? I kill everybody. I was like, Bobby's dad? Yeah.

If you're gay.

If you're gay, I kill everybody. Incredible. I said, Thank you, Mr. Lee. I'm not gay. Probe it. Probe it.

Probe it. It's so weird.

Sometimes it's fun for us.

Yeah, some guy in Comicon goes, some Asian guy goes, I love when you guys do Asian accents. I go, Oh, cool. But then some white guys sometimes go, I don't like it.

Yeah, I get it.

Yeah, but I like it.

It's how we have fun. We have fun with it. We're kids. We're children. We're kids, yeah. We're big dumb kid. You're Yeah. Also a dumb kid. Thank you. Yeah.

I just want to ask you to Bobby something. Okay, here we go. What's this? It's disturbing me. Okay, go ahead. All right. Is it because you're at my house? No, what I'm seeing right now. What? What's that thing on your eye? What thing? What thing?

Oh, there's a cut by your eye.

Oh, dude. Oh, I can tell you what it is. Last night. Last night, dude.

Someone said on your face.

No, it was fucking ridiculous.

What?

This guy named John. I forgot his last name, but he was in... He's one of those really funny actors, but I did a show called Inside Job on Netflix with him. He's this older, old-school comedian guy. He's a big guy, too. He was completely drunk. He was on the street going, Freeback, freeback, be me, me. Like singing. I don't know what he was singing. I don't know what he was singing, dude. But he was, Got to go to country, bro. You know what I mean? He was like, Freeback, freeback. You know what I mean? I was like, I go, You're not going no free. I don't know what I said, right? Because he's drunk, so you can say whatever, right? You don't know about freeback? You know what I mean? I don't know what he was saying. I started doing it. I thought, Freeback, freeback, right? Then he lunged and tried to choke me. What? He tried to go, and his glasses fell, and then one of his thumbs went into my fucking eye. It's It's 2:00 in the morning.

You forgot to tell this story? What the fuck?

Yeah, I forgot. I go, Freeback, freeback. I go, What the fuck? All the other voices, all these old-school voiceover actors, right there in this middle of the street.

Did he feel bad or he was laughing? He was, Hey, Lee.

Because all those older guys, too, He called me Lee for some reason. Oh, yeah. I go, Lee, did I cut you? I go, Yeah, man, I'm going to go to my room. But that was exactly what happened. He's so talented and funny, that guy.

God, he does all the voices for all those people.

Yeah, dude, he is so gifted. He does everything. He does Jake? Yeah, he does all those people. He's so good, that guy.

Maybe he was practicing for a role.

But when he's drunk, stay away because he'll try to choke you. I don't know what song that was. It was like he was doing something. It was very funny because I saw him from across the street. Sing it again. He was also doing this, and he was so drunk. What? Yeah, I think he had liquor in his hand. He's going, We back, we get me. Be me, I got none. You know what I mean? I don't know what it was. He was improvising a song.

That's a Bob Dylan song.

Oh, yeah, maybe Bob Dylan.

Does that one sound familiar? Yeah. Now, do you know who it is? But... Feedback, feedback, cut a thing.

He did Cut me. He cut me.

I can't believe he cut you on your fucking eye. Let me see. Look at me for a second. What did you get at 7-Eleven?

I was looking for Epson salt, and they didn't have any.

You wanted to have a soak? Yeah. Were you going to take a soak?

How come they don't have Epsons salt at 711?

Because crackheads probably use them. They're probably smoking. I love Epsons salt. They don't sell salts anymore. Bath salt. You Do you have a good bath? A little bath?

Dude, I love bath bombs, and I love soaps, and I love Epsons a lot.

I'll say this. You'll never do this, but you could do an OnlyFans of just you in a tub talking in a tub, and it would make unbelievable money. Because in my mind, I know what I look like in a tub because I'm big, so it's hard for me to take bath.

But you-Do you think I can lay down flat in a tub?Yup.I.

Can't.yes, you can.There's some bending.Yes, you can. My little gumdrop, you fit right in there. Yeah, I can do...

Okay.

By the way, you could hide in a tub in a game of hide and seek with you and I. You can hide in a tub. I wouldn't see it.

Okay, go and move on. Do you think if I do a vlog?

You vlog from the tub, people would pay for that.

People also want me to vlog me starting a new farm on Stardou Valley, too. People want to see it, but I don't want to do it. Why don't you do that? Maybe.

I think you should. I do love baths. I do love taking a nice, beautiful-Yeah.

Also, white dudes always go… It's always white dudes. They're Why are you taking a bath? You're laying in your own filth. I don't know how white people take baths, but this is how I take a bath. I don't plug it up in the beginning. I sit sitting the way the native used to sit.

Native style? Yeah. Don't you put your legs over the side of the tub and you let the water rush on your pussy, though? Don't you like that? I do that, too.

Yeah. But I sit that way, and then I don't clog up the tub, and I do a pre-wash first. Pre-wash. Scrub, wash, anus, penis, the whole thing. Rince all that, and then I plug, and then I do the bath. So you're not sitting in your own filth. It's an easy thing. Then I do two. I do that Then I go to the shower.

You shower after the bath? Oh, yeah. That's insane. Yeah.

What is why? Because I do the major... I do my legwork and my backwork in the shower. What do you mean?

You're working out?

No, we're cleaning.

What do you mean legwork and backwork?

Dude, you're so dumb, dude. I love you. But the cloth, remember we talked about the cloth? Yeah. I laid the cloth down. I put two different body washes on it because I like mixing up.

How long is it for you to take a shower? 40 minutes? 50 minutes?

Bath, shower, probably 45 minutes.

Jesus Christ. No wonder you're fucking late all the time.

It's a ritual. It is a ritual. What I do is I put two squirts. I have a lot of body wash. Tell everyone. How many bottles? Ten. Yeah, 10 bottles. What? I mix them.

I mix the smells, man. You like different smells? Yeah. Okay. Why not?

Then I grind into a lather. Backwork, backwork, legwork, backwork, backwork. Then I rinse and I rinse and I rinse. Then I do thigh work. Then I sometimes will go after the third time, go back to the bathtub and do specific feet work.

This is a whole day.

Yeah, it's a whole day. I do it every night.

Wow.

You know what? I'm sure I used probably 10 times the amount of water. I always feel I always feel like I'm going to get... Like somebody's going to show up at my house and go, It's enough, dude.

They will send you a note. One time, we sprung a leak in the backyard when we were out of town. L-a-d-w-p was like, You're using an absurd amount of water.How do they know?Because the meter, they track your meter. They know.What do they do? They were like, You're using a comical amount of water.Wow.I was like, What's going on?

But I don't do any for my lawn.

You don't have a lawn?

I know. That's why. It's great. Don't have a lawn. You have no lawn. I have fake grass.

Yeah. There's no real grass there. No. Yeah, you wouldn't need Sign off, Rudy. Thank you for being a bad friend.