Hey.

Everybody. We go on tour, and I'm going to say something. It's a delight-live.

It is the delight-live.

And it's for you.

It's for you, but it's us, but it's.

For you. People have changed our lives because of our tour. They come, they get a spiritual experience. They do.

They get more Zen, more- They get more Zen. -and we have four dates left here at the end of this tour.

Milwaukee.

Wisconsin. Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Madison to end this year. Come. Milwaukee, Chicago. Minneapolis and Madison. Then in 2024, we're jumping around. We're playing some casinos and big rooms. We're doing Atlantic City, Salt Lake City, Tameculah, Reno, Sacramento, Long Beach, Windsor, Ontario, Canada, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada, Tucson, and Vegas. We end in Vegas. Go to badfriendspod. Com. The presale code is BadFriends if they're still presale on them. Go to badfriendspod. Com. Hey, BadFriends. We got our Instagram. We told you about it. Nothing changes. Everyone thinks, What could change.

San Cino? You get your episodes a little earlier.

You get them on Friday instead of Monday.

Right.

Ad-free. Ad-free. Right, and then extra.

Bonus content. Bonus content. Hot dog stuff? Oh, hot dog. Oh, hot dog stuff. There's all sorts of bonus content on there. So if you want to join the patron, jump on board with us. There's more stuff that we're adding, more tour videos, more exclusive stuff just for you guys. If you don't want to join, thank you for still watching and enjoying the show as it is. Go to patron. Com/badfriends. That's patron. Com/badfriends. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

White dude.

And Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

You two or something. We're bad friends.

Bro, bro, you're so borabora and-What are you? Bra, bra, bra.

-bra, bra. -what? -bra, bra.

-what? -i'm bored about those Jamaicans?

Bra, bra, welcome to Bra, bra, bra.

-is it near Jamaica?

It's right near the beach in Jamaica. Is it really? It's literally nowhere near Jamaica. Couldn't be further from Jamaica.

But what is that?

-are.

Those.

Guns? That's what they said when you sit down for dinner. Bra, bra, bra, welcome to dinner. Shrimp, shrimp, mah, mah, mah. By the way, French Polynesia, unbelievable. Had a great time. Did my heart glow a little bit when you wrote, Happy birthday. I love you so much, on my post of my butt. It made me glow.

Did you.

Write anything? I flagged it.

You did flag it. I did flag it. I don't want to.

See that. Independent post, main feed.

That is sick. By the way, not only do I know you flagged it. Other people must have flagged it because Instagram sent me a, This is a violation of our community rules. I didn't flag it. No, but enough people did. But it's like, I showed nothing in that photo.

Yeah, Instagram was like, You should be getting paid.

For pictures. Hell, yeah, dude, paid me.

Are these fans doing it or people who hate us?

I think it's both.

Hey, fans, don't.

Do it.

Don't flag us. Don't flag.

Let us show our butt.

Please. By the way, there's girls on Instagram showing way worse than what I'm showing. Ms.

Pat goes-I've seen fallopian tubes.

On Instagram. Ms. Pat saw my butt or lack thereof in her opinion, and she goes, You look like your back go all the way down to your feet. So good. Yeah, I had a great time. Borra, Borra, French Polynesia. Lovely time. At the airport, a guy goes.

Are you? No, really? I am.

He literally goes, But this is the wildest shit about French Polynesia. They look, they're islanders. They look like Samoans and Tongans.

Are they black?

Compared to us, yeah.

But would you consider them black? No, they're islanders. If you saw them in L. A, would you hold your wallet?

Oh.

Yeah. Oh, you would?

Yeah. They're black. No, they look like islanders. They're French. Honestly, they look like natives, like Hawaiian. Same thing.

Pacific Islanders.

Moana. Moana. Moana, Kai. But the wildest shit is, and you know it's someone that goes to Hawaii a lot, in Hawaii, they've got that language, bro. In French Polynesia, because it's fucking.

French.

They all speak French and they have French. You see a big Polynesian looking cat, and he's like, Yeah, how are you,? Are you good? I swear, it's the funniest shit.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, please. What are the women like? What are the girls like? Yeah, what do they look like? Let me tell you.

For Carlos, Carlos wants to know. Yeah. Look at his dick.

Hard. The women there are the exact same size as the men. It was wild.

The women can beat the shit out of you and make you a good meal. There was not a lot of.

Little women. The legs are like tree trunks.

A big women.

They are.

Yeah, we didn't even take a boat to the island.

Small pussy, though.

A woman just picked us up and walked us through the water. It was pretty incredible. No, we had a great time. They're beautiful.

Wonderful people. But is there a strip club and stuff?

Yeah, there was. In Borabora? No, I don't fucking...

What the fuck? I was at the beach. You're in the White Beach.

Yeah, I was at the White People Beach. I was at the All White People Beach. Can I ask.

Another question? Is there food? I mean, there's food, but is it good food?

A lot of fish ate a lot of fresh tuna right out of the ocean. Oh, that's great. Caught that morning, sliced it up, put it in my throat. What do you got to say? You're smiling, you little mischief.

No, I was just laughing about the Borra.

Borra strip club. Borra Borra. Yeah, there is one. There is one. They strip on trees. They use trees as the pole.

There's only one woman because she takes up the whole space.

Borra and her sister, Borah. Borah, Morah. Morah, Borah. It was amazing. They all speak French. It's the weirdest fucking thing. They say, Marulu, that means thank you.

Is it worth it?

Oh, yeah, dude.

Let's.

Hope.

So. Because I might want to bring a lady over there.

It was 100% the best time I think I've had in... I'll show you a photo of what the hut looked like. Oh, my God. You get a hut over the water. Since the woman knew it was my birthday, she goes, she was a sweet little French girl, and she goes, Your room is ready. Something maybe a little special for you? What is it? I said, What? Look, she put us at the very end of.

The pier. No way that was.

Where you stayed. Yeah, that was me.

That's where you stayed? Yeah. That's like a fucking... That's avatar shit.

It was dude, it.

Honestly-is that Pandora? What the fuck is going on around here, man?

You're generating-We stayed at the very end of.

The-can you walk out the door and just jump in the water? Yeah.

Did you do that? I did it every fucking day. Every day. Here, there are some other pictures I send you right there, Carlos. You wake up in the morning, you jump off the back of your dock into the fucking water. It's insane.

Oh, my God.

Incredible.

Yeah, so that's the... Right there is when you walk up to the huts, they're all over the water. Look, you're still very private, but put us at the very last hut because she wanted us to have full privacy out to the ocean.

Bro, if Carlos went, you know what would happen? The dolphins would press charges. Hundred %. It'd be like in court. Oil or oil. I don't ever go there, dude. I love dolphins. Don't ever go there.

Zoom in on that. There's a picture of the reef and the lagoon. You can literally swim in any of the lagoons.

You took this picture? Yeah. Oh, my.

That doesn't look pretty. It does, to me. Yeah, that looks like whale shit.

That is whale shit.

Oh, it is Give me color. It's so gray.

And dismal. No, that's all... That's what it is. Go to the next photo.

You took that photo?

Yeah.

Okay. Let me look at this one.

That's the main beach. If you want to go, zoom in, you can see the huts on the water. But if you just want to go to the main beach, Beach.

Is.

That a shark? Yeah. That's just a black eye.

Oh, that's a black eye.

No, that's the main beach.

That's.

Beautiful. People were there hanging out every day, but I prefer to swim off the back of the dock. Go to the next photo you could see. In the morning, I would wake up and just do that. That's right off the bat. Wow!

Are there sharks?

Yeah, there was one in the water. I swear to God. Like tiger shark? You guys can ask. My lady, she was like, A shark. I go, Shut up. She goes, Shark, shark, right there.

But what kind?

I think it was called...

What did I say? You're back. How's your energy right now? Very peaceful.

I feel good. It's a long flight. It was a very long flight. How long? I think it's nine or something like that. Nine hours. From Tahiti. Then you have to fly from Tahiti to Borabora.

How long.

Was that? It's another hour and some change or something like that.

You're looking at a 10-hour, 11-hour experience.

Yeah, with the layover and all that stuff.

Right. Yeah. At first class. That's nice.

No, not first class.

You did Coach... Wait a minute.

Are you making fun of me?

I'm not making fun of you. I think you're fucking lying.

No.

You did Coach from LA to.

Tahiti, Tahiti. Back of the plane. Really? How did I do that? How did I survive? How did you do it? I stayed in the bathroom for about three or four hours. I just stood in the bathroom. I was just standing up sleeping in the bathroom.

Yeah, okay, so you did that? Yeah.

That was fine. It worked for me. There's no way you did it. Yes, I did. I'll show you my ticket, 23A and 23B.

You would have gone on my mother's life.

No, that's crazy.

If you were telling the truth, you would. No, I.

Don't want to swear on anybody's life. That's dangerous.

No.

Am I right, Fancy? If she dies tomorrow, then it's my fault for some reason?

Did you say, yes, I flew first class?

I did not. You lied. I did not. I will say the little plane you take to Tahiti from Borra Borra, a scary, it's one of those where the guys have to like and he spins the fucking….

Oh, it's a buddy, Holly, Killing. Oh, don't you? Yeah, I don't like the buddy, Holly.

The whole time, and the pilots on there.

The buddy, Holly, Killing ones, man. Oh, my God.

Pilots on there singing.

Dude, but that plane wiped out Legends. Yeah. The big bopper.

Dude, that's the same plane.

That-the Mexican guy who thinks he's white.

Otis Redding crashed him.

The Mexican guy who thinks he's white.

Richie Vallance. Richie Vallance? Yeah. Yeah, the two propellers, the wobbly, bobly.

The wobbly, bobly.

I don't.

Like the wobbly, bobbley. I don't like the wobbly, bobbley.

Meanwhile, there's a woman next to me, a French woman in the... Because a lot of these people, French citizens must get some deal from the government because it's mostly French people. This French woman is next to me across the aisle, the whole flight.. And nobody is going fuck. No one's looking. Everyone's like this.

That's how they laugh.

Oh, that's French laugh.

I thought she was singing a French song on a microphone. She was a carioke.

It was ridiculous.

What's the most tragic way a celebrity has died, though? I got it. Yeah, I know you did. Can I tell you?

Yeah.

Sunny.

From Sunny and Cher. Sunny Bono? Yeah.

Wasn't that.

A car? He hit a tree, right? That's terrible. He hit a tree on skis. Wasn't he skiing?

He was skiing and he hit a tree.

I knew he had a tree. I assumed it was by car.

I didn't know. Did the tree come out of nowhere? Yeah. You know.

How those trees do.

Injuries occurred when he hit a tree while skiing at heavenly. Oh, I've been to heavenly. It's a great mountain.

He hit it right after he went.

He directly hit a tree.

That's the tree. That's the tree. There it is.

Wow. They didn't clean up those scenes.

What? Yeah, the.

Fact-chop.

That tree down, dude.

That tree murder is a legend, and you're going to keep it up?

That's wild.

Wait, who's the lawyer? Who are the lawyers for the trees?

He's got some good one. That's Cochran.

Cochran did that trip.

I think the tree won.

If.

The tree doesn't leave, you must leave it alone.

I was about to do that. Jesus. That was good. That was good. That was good.

That's unbelievable. It's still there in heavenly? Still there.

We could visit it.

I would not. Yeah, I know. How would you get there? What if you were going to visit it, skiing down the hill and you hit another tree trying to go see that tree? No, thanks. Actually, you know what the worst? I'll tell you one that's bad. Give me a celebrity one. I'll give you one that's bad. It's a...

Yeah, keep doing it. I think I got it. Let me get it.

Yeah, you got it. Bubblies, Bubblie.

Oh.

Shit. It's a Celan, Dileons. -celan, Dileons. -celan, Dileons.

-celan, Dileons. -you don't know her? -oh, dude, I know Celan, Dileons.

She woodwork, dude, called Sculptures.

She's very good at it. She's a good sculptor.

You don't know her work?

You don't get what I'm trying to tell you. I'll tell you one that's bad. What? Sam Cooke.

How did Sam Cooke die?

Sam Cooke, this is a terrible story. Unbelievable. Sam Cooke had a bunch of money in his pocket, was at a nightclub on the west side here in Los Angeles. Had a bunch of cash out, got fucking wasted of shit. A woman who was a lady of the night saw this a gold digger, if you will, approached him to go back to a hotel with her. He goes back to a dingy hotel. Her side of the story is tried to sexually assault her, and so she self-defend herself, shot and killed him. The truth came out years later, years later, which is so sad. She called the girl from the front desk to set him up to rob him. He caught them in the act of being robbed while he was passed out, drunk, chased after them, shot him in the chest and killed him. His final words were, Lady, you shot me. One of the greatest singers of all time.

His last words-If he would have lived, that song.

Would have been-Lady, you shot me. Shot me.

In.

The belly.

That would have.

Been.

Number one. Lady, you.

Shot me in the belly. Look at that. He was such a good singer.

Well, there's self-inflicted ways too, like the two. Let me ask you something, a question, okay? Okay. Give me the two people, celebrities who died for audio fixation.

Auto, not audio. That's when you're jerking off with headphones on. What? Autoerotic exfixiation. Say it with me. Auto- No.

- Audio fixation.

- This is like, Sesame Street for adults.

-all right, sorry. We're going to learn the.

Term today. -hey, guys and girls, say it with me.

Audio.

Erotic... -no, auto like a car, automatic auto.

-auto?

-erotic. -auto erotic. Auto like a car, automatic. Auto erotic.

Auto erotic. Exfixiation. I got it right now. Let's do it. Auto erotic exfixiation.

Close.

Let's do it again. Auto erotic exfixiation.

It sounds like you're there.

I think I'm dead on, dude.

Do it again.

Auto erotic exfixiation.

Can you say it without moving a part of your body?

Fuck.

That's going to be hard. Yeah, try it. Without moving your face... I'm going to find ours, man. Makemovement. Watch me do it once and then you.

Have to- I'm a robot.

Can I be a robot in the future? No, you have to be Bobby Lee. No, I'm going to be a robot. No, because a robot-.

It's.

Exactly what a robot would say. -would say. Auto erotic, exfixiation.

You're doing it there. You're still doing it. The robot still did it. What did you want? You went like this. Auto erotic exfixiation.

Exfixiation. All right, ready? What would you like to know?

Robot.

How did- Auto erotic exfixiation.

Can you say it faster? I couldn't hear what you said.

Auto erotic exfixiation.

Sorry? Okay.

Autoerotic exfixiation.

One more time as well.

Autoerotic.

Exfixiation. Wait, now do it where you're just moving your feet like the Irish dancing.

Autoerotic exfixiation.

Fuck you.

I'm not doing this anymore. Anyway, give me the two celebrities that died that way.

Gosh, I don't-Wait, give me a hint. I really don't even know.

Yeah, you do.

You do. Give me one hint.

Okay, one of them was an actor.

Okay, that.

Narrows it down. And the other one was a singer. This actor was also in, he played Bill in Kill Bill.

Oh, I don't know his name.

But I know David.

David Keradine.

Yeah, I would have never guessed that.

Okay, so David Keradine did that.

They actually named it the Keradine when you drink. It's called Keradining Yourself.

Then Mike Hutchinson. What's his name?

Michael Hutchinson. Never would have guessed it.

What's his name? Come on.

For me, NXX?

Nxs? Nxs. The band, NXS.

Michael Hutchinson.

You don't know either. Yeah, it is.

It's Hutchins, right? Michael Hutchins.

Yeah, Hutchins. Yeah. Suicidal, depressed on the influence of alcohol and drugs. They didn't want to give you the rest. They just said he overdosed.

No, he did that. Have you heard of Inexcess?

No, I don't.

Think so. You know some of their songs. That's one of those bands that I don't think you might not recognize the name of the band, but you know the song. It's so funny.

Because they were so huge when we were alive.

In.

The late '80s. In the late '80s. For me, when people don't know, it just boggles my mind. But that's what happens when you're old.

Wise.

It's very wise. No, it's old and wise.

But this shit, though, your music, I know about your music. I listen.

To Billy Eilish. Yeah, and the beginning.

Of Taylor. That's not.

Her music. I'm just saying modern music, but I also go in the past. I don't know why young people don't know anything about the past.

I don't know if that's true. I think young people do. I just think there's too much.

To know. There's so much. I'm so bad with references, which is terrible as a comedian.

Well, think about it like this. There used to be less to know. It'd be like, what bands do you guys like? The Beatles? They're like, Who else? They're like, That's the band.

Well, Angela. I would argue.

Against that. In the era of The Beatles, their competition was almost nil. How many other fucking bands were around.

The- Beach Boys. The Rolling Stones. The Rolling Stones.

The Monkeys. Yeah, but that's it.

The Grateful Dad.

Totally different category music. No, but I know, but I'm saying just there wasn't that- They knew each other. -there wasn't that. The competition wasn't that rich in terms of great bands.

The.

Velved Underground was in Beatles. That wasn't the time of the Beatles.

Yeah, they were the same time. In the New York, of course, they were. They knew each other.

-no, they were- At.

The end of The Beatles. Okay, anyway.

The point is now there's so much music. There's so much music.

But still, you and I, I hate to argue with you because I need to get back from Borra Borra. Let's do it. Let's do it. But my point is that the argument.

Is.

Still like when modern music, I'll go by a Taylor Swift album. No, you won't. No, you won't. Taylor Swift, I- 1979, whatever that album is. You complain about- 1989, man, that was a good album. The reason why I know I listen that album is because Ryan Adams covered that album from beginning to the end. I wanted to listen to Taylor Swift to see the difference between the two. But I'm very curious still. My point is why isn't your generation curious?

I know why. Because Google, we don't have to remember anything anymore.

Did a rap?

Yeah, you don't have to either.

Fuck you. Why would Itry to.

Sound like an idiot? I don't know. You don't sound like an idiot.

Whatever. Whatever that is. Let me hit my vape pen. Oh, my God. I'm in the fucking vape documentary.

Whoa.

Oh, my God. You know where this is? I didn't approve this. It's you, dude.

You look like Charles Bantz.

I was Charlie.

Dude, that is you.

This is what's crazy. I got sent this by a thousand people, this vape documentary, The Rise and Fall of Jewel, which is actually great as Carlos smacks a jewel. Go ahead and smack yours, too.

They're going to think it's about jewels, about Rudy.

It is about Rudy jewels. I got sent there. This is what's really fucked up. I didn't approve this footage. I didn't, obviously not. No one's asked me. I mean, it's one frame. But I say I take a hit off of that and I go, This is really good. No. Yeah, but here's the deal. Jewel is a company called Plume. They own this thing called the PAX, the P-A-X. I remember the PAX, yeah. The PAX was initially made as an alternative because the jewel wasn't really ready yet. They made this and it got really used for weed. What happened was this is back in 2013.

Maybe.

Because I have my mixology. I was long beard, long hair. But dude, they would hand these out at shows. They would give you weed and a PAX for free. A company member from PAX pulled me in a room. I don't remember this being on camera, but we were smoking weed and they said, Hey, these are like $300, but we'll give you one.

Just make an.

Ad or something. If you just say, What's up for our website?

2013.

I'm like, Oh, okay. I took a hit and I was like, This is actually red. It was. I really loved it because you could pack a little bit of weed and vape it in your car and move on. Now it's used in this fucking thing. I never said I.

Want this. Does it say your.

Name in the-No, no, no, no, no. You know what that says, though? I'm a Flash in the face.

You know why they did that?

They don't even know that that's me. I don't think they know that.

They don't.

Know.

Who I am. You're a fucking mind. I want to give you a compliment. Jule. I know. I've been trying not to do this. Why did you give me those?

Because you.

Fucking asked for it. That's right.

You better have two more tomorrow from.

When we travel. My point is that you're on Fire, bud. No, dude. Yeah, that's what it is. Dude, I know what you're doing. This has nothing to do with that. I know what you're doing, dude. What you're doing is I'm going to put this little vape thing on and pretend like, Why did.

They do this?

No, I didn't like it. You wanted us to go, Because you're a big name. Then he's going to go, Oh, no, that's not why I did do it. It's fucking bullshit. It's bor of the shit. I'm tired of this shit. Fuck you.

No, dude, this is weird. They don't use my name. They don't say anything. It doesn't make any sense.

It makes.

Perfect sense. I did not like it. You're famous. No, dude, the documentary is about vaping. It uses me for four seconds and it's a clip that's meaningless. It doesn't make sense. Are you mad? You're not in it. You made it. You think I put that in there?

No, I think you made it. Let's see what he's doing.

What is.

He doing? He's going.

Against you. You're in the pot.

Smart.

Yeah, you're going.

Against him. Very smart.

This is the first time you've ridden my.

Wave, dude. After he.

Called me- Let's go, let's.

Ride, dude. -called me crying this past week. Andrew, I don't know if I can take that show anymore. It's too much work for me. I can't edit and turn it around that fast. You are Bobby and nobody listening to my ideas anymore. Shut up, bitch.

You really did that call?

Fuck you, bitch.

Then what did you say?

I said, Go take your kid, bitch, and I hung up on him.

I know it's like some people.

Like- Grow up, you pussy.

-other people that I work with are like, I don't know if I can do this anymore.

It's like, Fuck off. -fuck off, dude. -fuck off.

This is a dream.

You joined.

The party when you needed it. You joined the party when you needed it, and now that you're riding the wave. Too much? I'm going to do a.

Different wave. Okay.

All right, go ride on the wave. You know what? That wave is going to dwindle and you're going to be stuck back on the beach, dude. And guess what? We're still out there, Kawa-Bung-G.

Kawa-bung-g.

10 toes on the nose.

Yeah, let me tell you that.

Autoerotic.

Exfixiation. That's what you should have called your podcast, Fancy. Autoerotic, exfixiation. No, he didn't call me this weekend because if he did, I would have given him a beautiful phone call of Solace and hope. Right? Yeah. Tell me. We have good phone calls. We have good, beautiful phone calls.

You're a good actor.

Really good actor.

I'll.

Believe.

Anything you say.

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How was Austin?

You went? It was good. I went to Austin, Yuma, Tucson. I've been all around. You're in Borra Borra. I'm in.

Yuma, Arizona. Same, same.

Same, same. What was that? Where you play club?

I've been headlining. When I'm on my own, I'm.

Trying to- Yuma, where did you play?

It was a dance club that they made into a standup venue.

You were the headliner?

Mm-hmm. Oh, cool. I'm doing this. It's so fun. I do the theaters with you guys, and then I do the dance rooms when.

I'm by myself. How many people showed up? The dance room is good.

Close to 200.

Congratulations.

That's rad. Thank you. That's fun. That's rad.

Fun. Amazing. I'm getting around one to 200. Spokane is coming soon, and Phoenix.

Yeah, my people are going to come out.

I know. That's the coolest part.

The.

People? You're sending people. Oh, Spokane and Spokane.

I'm probably got people all over the world. They come out to support me.

Thanks, bud. Thank you, bud. Yeah, you got people on Bore-Bore, I told you. Oh, I didn't even say it. The guy at the airport literally goes, he goes, Sorry, are you on a podcast? I said, Yeah. He goes, The one with Bobby? I said, Yeah. He goes, I love that show. I said, Thank you, man. Thank you so much. That's so sweet. I go, It's a priority tag on my bag. But it was wild to get... You know what the wildest thing is when people do this? Another guy did this at the fucking hotel. Nice, very cordial. And then he says, Thank you so much for dining with us, blah, blah, blah. I said, No problem. And then he goes, Tell Bobby I said, Hi. Did he really do? Yeah. And I was like, It's so fucking cool. It's cool. That international. But he didn't say anything. He didn't make a thing. As I walked away, he goes, Just tell Bobby I said hi. I was like, Oh, that's so fucking rad. It was rad. It fucking feels cool. All over the world, dude. We got fans in fucking South Pacific, dude.

And Yuma. Everyone in Yuma is.

That's what I said to him, You know who matters the most?

Yuma, Arizona, baby. You know what also I've been good at and I've grown is I take photos of what I'm eating now. What do.

You mean? Selfies?

No, like-.

Just you chewing?

Yeah, I'm chewing at a restaurant and people will walk up and go, Can I have a photograph? Usually I'm like, I'll do it after I'm eating. But now, dude, with a burrito.

In my mouth.

You've grown. I stand up and.

I do it. See, I like it after I'm eating because I look like shit when I eat. I eat like a nightmare. I just inhale food.

Is there any situation that bothers you when that happens?

Would somebody want a photo? Yeah. No, I don't really. It doesn't really matter. Unless it's obviously like, Come on, dude, this is a weird time.

Give me an example, like bathroom.

Yeah, bathroom is fucking weird. You're peeing next door guy. Yeah, wait till I'm out. We'll be outside in two seconds. Yeah, okay. Bathroom is weird. Also, it's crazy disrespectful when they ask if I'm with somebody, whether it's a wife or a friend or whoever, and they ask them to take the photo. I'm always like, No, dude, self-love.

Vice, when we were together, that's the worst. The worst is when you and I are together and somebody says, Hey, can you take a photo of me and Andrew? And you go, Get back.

I don't do it. I say, Get the fuck out of here. I go, Get the fuck out of here. But not because you don't want to photo me. It's like, take a selfie. When people go, Hey, can I have a photo? I go, Yeah. Then they go, They look around for someone. I go, Dude, we'll take it. It's this. We'll take it together. I hate it when somebody goes, Can I have a photo? I go, Of course. They go, Excuse me.

Can you take.

A photo? It's like, No.

Dude, fuck. What the fuck? Or they do an Andy Leboot's photoshoot like, Okay, let's figure out what we're.

Going to do here.

No, take a photo. Can you do a gang sign, but be ontheir knees and I'll be backwards and I'll do a fucking tilt. I was like, No. I can't do that all the time. Or this. I went on both angles. I went wide. Then let's make the third one fun.

Yeah, can we do like a dirty Sanchez or something? No, dude. Just take it.

It's fun. We're great fun. It's fun.

Thank you so much. I know I'm just getting a taste of this, but this happened the other day. I was talking to my friend outside about a mutual friend of ours who's on drugs now. Very sad story. We don't- Wait, do we know? -he lost. I don't think you guys know him.

Then why did you say mutual friends?

Me and my friend. Stay with me.

I'm sorry. Wait, let me get this. No, stop. I want to address that first. I'd like to address that first.

Someone sells out one dance hall, and boy, oh, boy, did it go to her head.

Earlier today, you told me to go fuck myself.

Yeah, that's after you told me to fuck myself.

I know, but that's.

The boss. I'm the boss, right? I go fuck you. Go fuck you. Then you just did that.

I'm feeling feisty.

I know you're very feisty today. Calm down, but continue.

You guys taught me everything I know.

It was our fault.

You created a monster. We're talking about a friend who has lost his mind. I think he's schizophrenia. We've seen him on Hollywood Boulevard, and we were talking about, What do we do? Is there anything to do? Then this stranger came over and goes, Oh, my God, I love you on Bad Friends. Can I get a picture with you? That's perfect timing. Those times are bad.

That breaks it up. But did you do it? -oh, yeah.

With a smile on your face.

Yeah, I was like, Get out of my face. I have a fan here.

Yeah.

Jessie, I really need your help. If you could do anything. Juicy? From Bad Friends?

I asked him to take.

The picture. Hey, by the way, are you going to sleep tonight? What time are you leaving the airport?

We're leaving at the same time. Well, no, I'm leaving at 6:00. You're leaving at 5:30. Yeah, but I'm probably at.

Some sleep. We're coming back Sunday, right? We are. We have to pack a lot.

I'm packing a backpack. I'm going.

To do a backpack.

Yeah, fuck that. We're going one night.

In and out. In and out. Yeah. Fuck that. And just you and I flying at the same time? And then you guys are flying a.

Different flight? Yeah, we're later than you guys.

Yeah.

You're later than the day.

I know you guys want some alone time.

We'd like to be alone.

We'd like to be alone. We have our moments.

I'm not going to lie, I hate it because I miss.

You guys. We'll miss you too, but we'll see you when we get there.

That's good. It's showtime.

Wait a second. You like flying with us?

Oh, yeah. I like the Uber ride from your house. It's an hour of quality time together.

Oh, that is true. We do have a nice time together. Let me ask you something. But Friday night, we have... Are we going to all have dinner? Yeah.

Oh, I would love that. Well, I don't know. What time do you guys get in? 9:00. 9:00 PM? We'll have already- No dinner.

Oh, yeah. No dinner. That's okay.

Bob, you and I will go out to dinner.

Where do you want to go? I think you're going to kill you.

Where do you want to go? A little one on one date. Let's go, dude. I'd like to go somewhere very nice.

Let's go somewhere fancy.

Can I be honest? Who invited me over to their house?

Be honest. Let me guess. Jim Jordan.

Are you serious? No. No? Damn it. Someone in DC invited me to their house.

Is it high up?

Pretty big. Biden? Pretty high up.

Joe Biden? Do you know Joe?

How do you know Joe?

I've just seen him online.

Like on Reel. I want you to come over to my house. Bring the Chinese boy around. Maybe make something in the living room. We'll watch him. Are you still with the Yellow Man? Is the Yellow Man there? I got to take a nap. I already know his China, so I can't know. Okay, so who? Chris Christy.

I love Chris Christy.

He invited me over. Are you being real? He does a buffet at his house every night. Do you know that? I can tell from the bottom of my head. Really? I love his food. He has a buffet every single day in his house. It's like a fucking resort. It's unbelievable. You can get your eggs any way you want them, but you couldn't get them premade.

Yeah. No fucking. Did you know Chris Christy? No.

Fuck, do I know Chris Christy? I don't know anybody. Dude, DC is one of those places that is so fake. You know it's a fake city.

It's Hollywood for ugly people.

Did you say that before?

No. Did you say that before? I don't know if I.

Said that before. I feel like I'm having Dejavous. I feel like you did. I think you said that one time or somebody said that.

Maybe I stole it from somewhere.

No, it's such a good phrase. Hollywood for ugly people. It's Hollywood for the power hungry.

No, it's people that grew up and they're like, I can't be an actor. Look at my face.

Can't be a singer.

And my body. Like Chris Christy. He looks in the mirror, he's like running lines as a kid.

You know he was doing plays, 100%. He was doing Fiddler on the roof and shit. You know Chris Christy was.

Doing-no, he was doing scenes from What's Eating Gilber grape.

They went and put him on.

The roof. Yeah, just playing the mom the whole time.

You can't put him up. You got to get him off the roof. He's going to break.

The roof. And misery. Oh, hey, I was a return to the Jenna. Just do a job.

But he's featured in all these movies and plays, dude. That's true. He's a main character.

But anyway, at one point he was like, No, I think I'm going to go to DC. Yeah, I got to move. Yeah, I want to be a politician.

But- Yeah, I want to.

Change the world. I'm really riveted by... If I saw Jim Jordan, even I don't like followers politics, I would be starstruck. If we were at a stakes house and we'd go, Holy fuck, there's Crockett. You know what? She's a star.

Who?

Crockett. Crockett? Yeah, her name is Jasmine Crockett.

I don't think I know who this is.

She's a congresswoman. She's a star, dude.

Jasmine Crockett. I mean, what a name. What's her real name?

Jasmine.

Crockett. That's a fucking name.

Dude, jazzy Crockett. Dude, have you seen her?

She could be a rapper.

She's so smart. But she has an act. I want to ride the line here, okay? Go ahead and do it. But she has an attitude.

What do you mean? Go ahead and say it. What are you trying to say? Sassy black woman. Is that what you're trying to say? Did I just say that? Well, you looked over there. Did I fucking say that? It looked like you said it. It looked like you said it.

No, it's just.

She has- Go ahead. What is that?

She.

Has it. What is it, dog? What is it?

She's on the fucking floor laying it down.

Who has her? Okay. That's her. Is it like a KIA commercial?

Yeah.

No, she- Oh, this got Bluetooth.

Look at that. Yeah. Excuse me. I'm a huge jet. She's going to be the next president.

Okay. Yeah. Lowdown.

In 30 years, this.

Woman- Thirty years.

She's.

40. First of all, we'll be dead.

In 20 years. This woman has a future, dude. She has Barack Obama.

Easy.

I'm going to follow... Can I say Swagger? Why wouldn't.

You say Michelle Obama? Of the Obamas, why wouldn't you compare her to Michelle Obama?

No, because still, I don't think Michelle has Barack's speaking talent.

Yes, she does.

She's very talented. But I think Jasmine Crockett is a star.

Okay. You heard it here first.

Jasmine Crockett. When I watch her, I'm like, Oh, my God, I wish she were what she represented.

She's a congressperson.

She's so great, dude.

She's rising. She's a representative. What district? What is she? Texas? She's a Democrat from Texas? Yeah. No shit.

She's so great. Anyway, but I'm a huge, I love DC, I can't wait to go. Maybe we'll run into some people.

I would like to. We've got to go to the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington.

Monument, and.

The Jefferson Jones out. Do you know the Jefferson Jones out? It's a big park where a bunch of crackheads are scratching their neck looking for rocks. The Jefferson Jones out. It's a fun late night thing you can go do. Yeah. He googled Jefferson-Jones out. I did.

We are.

Staying only a couple of blocks in the White House.

Yeah. Really?

Yeah. I've never seen it.

It's fucking stupid. It's so dumb.

When I was with Adam Ray at DC once, you know what I mean? I did a little monolog. It was pretty funny. If there was an Asian Martin Luther King, that'd be great. And he did a speech. I have a dreaming that white people would do their own laundry. I did this whole fucking speech.

You know what I mean? What is... What's the white Martin Luther King speech? Go ahead. I can't get to sleep because I'm worried about my 401(k).

Yeah. There's only three people there.

Hear, hear, brother.

We can't sleep too, brother. That's funny. But anyway, I'm not going to do it. I did the monuments. I'm not doing it.

Now I know. I've done it before, too. But I got to take you to the White House. I got to take her to the White House.

You've never been there? I've never been. Oh, you're in love. It's clean. We should make a.

Phone call. We should make a phone call and see if we can get a private tour for her of the White House.

Can you get jet ski in?

Come on.

Or that hot dog place that Barack used to go to and Bill Cosby.

Oh, hot dog. How is that not the name of.

That place?

I don't know. I mean- How do we not open up a bad friend's hot dog, hot dog joint? I'm from Chicago. Hot dogs is what we do. Uh-oh, hot dog. You are the hot dog king. Can we open up Uh-oh, Uh-oh, Hot Dog here?

That's how you.

Have the voice. I'm not. Listen. Please. John Crane.

John Crane was an author? I don't know who that is.

John Crane- Go on. -is a groundlings guy. He became the high producers on Mad. He wrote Uh-oh, Hot Dog. Uh-oh, Hot Dog. We could get him in. That's him, John Crane. Okay, what are we going to do? We're going to break him off. I'm just saying we have to call him first.

Do you think he's interested in the Uh-oh, Hot Dog business? I think he's probably doing a little.

Bit better than that. But I remember him calling me over, he wrote it and he goes, Before the table read, because he didn't know how I was going to do it. He goes, You got to go, Oh, Hot, he did it. You got to go, Oh, Hot Dog. You know what I mean? Like a white guy. I'm in a hallway going, Okay, what? Like, Oh, a hot dog. You're like, No, not as much. You know what I mean? More Asian. You know what I mean? I remember working on it with her.

That's awesome. Yeah. Can you do it again right now?

Oh, a hot dog.

Perfect. Right. So much money you're messing.

Out on. Buddy, why don't we open up an Uh-oh, Hot Dog? Right here in the valley.

Your ketchup, your mustard.

It's perfect. It literally is perfect.

Why am I mustard?

What? Yeah, because of the yellow thing. Your yellow beanie.

You're calling Asians yellow?

No, you're right.

Behind you. No, I'm being real.

The yellow beanie is true.

You know, but you're calling Asians are Yellow or what?

Uh-oh, how do I get out of this? Doordash.

I think I would be a dead man with that DoorDash because I get everything from them. I get my vitamins. I getfood. I get food, I get groceries, I get all kinds of stuff from DoorDash. They're reliable, quick. They have a beautiful selection.

Of things. Also, I like their app. It's so user-friendly. Exactly. That's a big thing for me is I want to be able to use something seamlessly, simply, and it's laid out very easily and they have literally anything that you need, they can get it for you. Let me.

Ask you something, missing the syrup for.

Your panca s? Yeah, I was.

Or you just ran out of your favorite coffee creamer?

That happens.

With DoorDash grocery delivery, Andrew, focus on me, dude. You can get what you want right when you need it.

That's what I need is right now. When I need it, I want it and I want it, and I get it and I want it from DoorDash. I'm telling you, we both been using DoorDash. We've talked about on the show for a long time for so long now, if you want to sit back and enjoy quality groceries just like you picked them for yourself, but DoorDash does it, you got to try it.

Get 50% off your first DoorDash order up to $20 value when you use code BF, M-A-R-T at checkout.

Limit the time out for terms of a blood. That's 50% off, up to $20 on your first order through DoorDash when you enter the code BFM-A-R-T. That's BFMart. Don't forget that's code BFMart for 50% off your first order up to $20 when you tried DoorDash. Dude, that's it. We're opening up.

A hot dog. Yeah, okay.

David Dobrick's got a fucking pizza place. You think we can't fucking.

Smash up some hot dogs? We have to call a guy like David Chang to.

Make homemade hot dogs?

No. Honestly, if I was going to do a real hot dog restaurant, I'd have to figure out, number one, I want it to be quality.

Oh, yeah.

Like, where do we get the dogs?

We got 100%.

From China.

You're lucky that was funny. That was so funny. That is not okay.

Yeah, that pause, though, was me laughing. Yeah, because I was hoping. But then I'm also offended. Honestly. Guy, dude.

-every once in a while, dude. It's very funny.

Dude.

Uh-oh, hot dog.

Yeah, from China. I mean, dude, the timing.

Let me-I can see here you say, Uh-oh, hot dog, in Spanish. Spanish style.

Uh-oh, perrito calente.

That will be on the menu as well if you want a Spanish style hot dog.

But I would call David Chagant and go, Listen, could we reinvent the hot dog? I don't want to just because I wanted people to go, Oh, the.

Food's good, too. I got it. I have something really great that I've always thought was amazing. Okay, go ahead. My biggest pet peeve, because every time I go to a baseball game, I have a hot dog. You have to get a Dodge a Dog when you go to Dodge Stadium. My wife and I, anybody I take, you have to. I don't like hot dogs. I don't give a fuck. You have to get one there. You have to-Take a bite, throw it away. It's fine. I don't like you putting on all the condiments. They always fall over. Sometimes the condiments get ketchup or mustard on them and they fall on you.

I know where you're going.

I want the hot dogs injected with the condiments. I want to make a condiment mixture and inject the hot dog with the fucking condiments. Tell me this isn't an amazing idea. But I'll tell you-This is an.

Amazing idea. I'll take you one step further.

Give it to me, baby.

You put the bread in there, too.

How.

Do you even do that? That's crazy.

Wait a minute. You're just sucking on a glizzy. Just a big round.

Chunk of meat. No, because the bread will absorb some of the glizzy. Oh, yes. You know what I mean? How do we get it in there, though?

Good question. Dude, leave it up to the fucking engineers.

Yeah, you don't need to.

Worry about it. We'll call the guys that made Jewel. The guys that made Jewel, they'll figure it out. Right.

We inject it. Now, how about this?

If they could get a pack of cigarettes into your hand like that, they can get bread inside of a hot dog.

That's true, dude. We put what? We put ketchup, mustard, relish.

Well, there's different ones you can get. Onions? Onions, relish.

Just a standard one, right? The peppers. One is filled with cheese. -chopped up, right? We stick it inside the thing, right? I think the bun, if I think about it, it wouldn't work.

-of course not. I just.

Thought about it.

-yeah, that's insane. -that's fucking insane.

I was just.

Throwing out ideas. I have an idea. Cut the hot dog in half long ways. Put the bun inside.

You're fired.

What do you mean? You're fired. I don't even know.

What you mean. Make the hot dog the bun.

No.

Oh, what you're saying? You're waging.

This is insane. I know what you're doing. You're doing a McDonald's McGriddle- That's right. Kind of a vibe, right? Like a pancake.

No.

What you're saying is you make the hot dog. But he has a point. The hot dog is usually oily and wet.

It's.

Greasy, and greasy. And the bun is the handle, so we have to figure.

Out-that's where the Uh-uh comes from then.

That's right. And we have no napkins. No napkins. No napkins. If you want to buy a shirt, an Uh-uh hot dog shirt, you can use that. It's one big napkin. Our merch shirts are made.

Of napkins. You'll save so much money with no napkins.

Yeah, but we'll charge them for.

The shirts. What if we make, instead of make the bread, a stick. Time out.

Put the hot dog on a stick?

No, I'm in.

Time in. Should we deep fry it? No. And make it a corn dog? We're going to have corn dogs on the menu.

That's not what I'm doing, Guy.

Uh-oh, business problems. Uh-oh, Guy.

Listen to my fucking-Go ahead. I'm trying to do it, right? What you're saying is it's not breaded like a corn dog. It's not a stick, right? What I'm saying is I'm trying to get around. How do we reinvent the bun?

Do we have a hot dog on a stick? Yes. What is this stick? A chopstick. We got to make this menu right now. That's beautiful. We've got to make this menu. It's wrapped in fucking that Asian chili zing sauce from Trader Joe's. You know.

What Asian zing? What's a chat chili zing sauce?

Asian.

Zing? It's got the green lid.

Thank you. Yeah, come on. Okay, so good. K ketchup. Can we also have a hot dog called the Carlos? And all it is, is you know those hot dogs at 7/11 that have been on the rotator for 48 days, and they're gray and sideways and lumpy? That's the Carlos.

One hair on top.

One hair on top. That's the Carlos. Oh, no, the Carlos. Oh, my God. The Carlos hot dog. It's a gloryhole. It's a hot dog with a hole and you can fuck it. That's the Carlos.

But let's reinvent the onion ring. What do you think?

Reinvent the onion ring.

How do we do that? Instead of the onion.

It's just one whole onion we throw in a deep fryer.

Dude, that's.

So good. Instead of like a-That's so good. -like a caramel apple, but it's just an onion on a stick. An onion ball. An onion ball on a stick.

We two onion balls, dude. We bread the.

Whole thing. Deep fried onion balls.

In the middle, we got to put something.

What is in the middle of an onion ball?

The invisible paper for the fucking.

Candy is out. Yes, the white rhino.

-the white rabbit. -the white rabbit. -the white rabbit.

-something like that. You know what would be really great, onion balls? What? If it's all a surprise, and sometimes it's not cool. One of them is a balloon egg, is in the middle of one or two of them. You don't know what you're going to get.

Not cool.

Onion balls. Yeah, right, not cool onion balls.

Some of them go, Oh, great, I got a regular onion. Some guy goes, Oh, my God, I got fucking juju bears.

Juju.

Bees.

Juju bees. Juju Bear is my business manager. I love him. The man. No, wait, so some of them are bad, some of them are good. You know how you get shasheto peppers and some of them are hot? That's the risk you take. This is our shasheitos.

We should have a golden ticket, Willy wonk us out for a guest. Yes.

A golden ticket. Yeah.

Uh-oh, golden ticket. Uh-oh. But this... And you get to use it to become a... So stupid. No, I think it's honest. I'm not even kidding when I say that. This is such a.

Good idea.

It's such a good idea, dude. The hot dog restaurant. You know who's going to work there?

Who?

These guys. Mccone.

100%. Mccone's the fucking, the fucking, onionball guy.

I think he cleans out the grease pits. I think he dumps out the grease. You know him, he'd be like, Could I take some of the grease home? Yeah, dude, take the.

Grease home. Chile. Let's reinvent Chile.

Careful. Why? I don't know anything about Chile.

You don't know anything about Chile?

What do you mean? I know I.

It.

I like it, too. I don't know how to.

Make it. But that's what you call the people.

You got to call.

David Chang. Yeah, about Chile. What's in chili? Well, it's just beef, chuck. -beef, let's guess. I'm being real. Yeah. All right, so is there bone marrow?

There can be. Your chili probably has bone marrow. Yeah, you could put bone marrow in anything.

My chili, bone marrow.

Love it.

Chopped up meat.

Okay, what meat?

The cow kind.

The.

Cow kind? Yeah. We had in Toronto that it was like, what was it? $70 an ounce, that fucking...

Wagu.

Wagu, yeah. That was so good. -what about cow calf? What do they call that?

Baby cow calf.

The calves of the cow. Veal? Veal. Yeah, veal is so good. We do veal meat.

Okay, chop that out. Chunky, chop-chunk. Put the bone marrow, right? And then you put some base.

Bullia base.

I know. What's the liquidity.

Vibe of a thing? Tomato. Tomato paste. You put tomato paste? Well, you put a stalk in there, whether it's a beef stalk or.

A chicken's meat. I love sesame and everything.

That's just an added.

Okay, put cessamoyl in there. The beef and the- And beans. Then they put beans in Chile.

Kidney beans.

Yeah. Just mix it around, right?

Elbow beans. What else?

What beans are there?

Lime beans? Amoeba beans, lime beans. Some of Carlos's family members.

Anyway, we'll do that.

We're going to stick hot dogs.

No jelly, then.

You.

Think it's too big? You know how when you walk into a convenience store and the... What does ours do?

Let me guess. Let me guess. I'm offended by it. Okay..

Yeah, every time you walk in, I want to hear that, dude.

Oh, hot dog.

Come on. Come on. That is so.

Fucking cool. Right, but it's not... It's got to be my voice-over.

Yes, of course. What do you mean? It's our.

Fucking restaurant. You walk in, Oh, hot dog.

And then you walk in, andthen...

Then Daddy Why U' Die is playing on loop.

Throughout the whole place. Then we have to have a mascot.

Your dad. Your dead dad is our mascot. You want a hot dog? He walks around just to go to your father. Free hot dog.

For you. He's got to be a furry creature or no.

A furry creature?

Make him purple.

Okay.

Put fur on him purple with my dad. All right, Oh, and Peupo.

That's his name, Peupo.

Peupo. Peupo. And people think it's Papa. Yeah, but it's purple.

Yeah.

So good, dude. I'm telling you, this is a great idea. It's great. Fancy. Start to make up a business plan for this, please.

-yeah, seriously. -i would love to do.

Something like that. No shit. You don't have a choice. We're talking about it. Because this job is about to end for you soon and you're going to be taken over to fucking restaurant.

We're talking.

About it, dude. You're a fucking lunatic. Fiendog. What's up? What's up, dude? Good to see you. Bobby, say hi. Hi. So Asian, dude. Hello. Get on the mic.

Put on your headphones. I'm intimidated by your looks, dude.

Yeah. Good looking kid. Good looking kid.

It smells good.

I'm really intimidated about your look. I've always have been.

Yeah, there's something about you, man. I don't know what it is. He's always trying to.

Fight me. Well, when you walked into the olive tree last time-I remember. -you did try to fight him. Last time we were on-site. Yeah, on-site.

You look like a 1940s bellhop.

Where are our bags, by the way?

Don't you? A 1940s bellhop at a hotel? Dude, look at them, dude. But a.

Good one.

Yeah, maybe-What's that way? A talking that we did?

A Paul Thomas Anderson hotel or something?

What's that talking we did?

The white supremacy? What was it? No, no, no.

The talkies, see?

The talkies.

The talkies. He looks.

Like that. You're a talkie, dude. And you go, Put them up. Put them up.

Stick them up. Stick them up. Dookie noob. Dookie noob. Sorry. Dookie noob, Chang. Dookie noob, Chang. Is Dookie noob, Chang related to the new actress, Osval-Chang? Osval-chang and the brothers.

But anyway, you have that. But you know what? I did attack you in New York.

And in L. A.

Last time I was here.

I did. That's true.

Let me see if I want to apologize. Here, here, here. He does not.

Want to. It's fine.

I.

Love you, though. Ladies and gentlemen, our popping guest, one of the homies, a New York's finest comedian, Mike Feeney, is here looking as dapper as ever. If you're on audio only, he's got some of the best hair in the business. Some have quoted him as saying second or third to Mellaney. I've heard you're right behind John hair wise.

A lot less Coke.

Yeah, less Coke. You don't have a Coke crowd. But you do have a family now, just like he does. So it could happen.

Soon, dude. I'm looking to do it.

Mike, you have kids, Mike?

I have one, yeah.

Oh.

That's congratulations. Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. There was a lot of resentment in that.

I just learned the words, so I think I'm doing pretty good. Oh, got you.

When he learns words, he's got to use them often.

Otherwise, they go away. Like a word a day. You work it in.

What is it called when you're captivating and you're choking yourself out at the same time?

Asphyxiation. Autoerotic asphyxiation.

I just learned that today. He had a little bit of trouble.

With that, too. Yeah, say it fast.

Autoerotic.

Exfixiation. He did it good, and he didn't change shape in his face. Look at that. Now watch.

Bobby try to do it. But you were also mouthing the words like a stage mom while I was.

Saying it. I was.

In there saying...

Autoerotic exfixiation. He has to change his face. You know how he goes like this? He goes, Autoerotic asphyxiation. See if you can do it like this. Autoerotic asphyxiation.

I didn't do anything. Yeah, you did something with your eyes.

Autoerotic asphyxiation. Blink together. Don't blink. Don't blink. Don't blink. So make it creepy?

No, just don't blink.

Auto erotic exfixiation.

There you go. You look like someone who does it all the time. It's crazy.

It feels like that's your move, dude. In a good way.

In a good-like a punk rock.

Oh, yeah, like rock.

And roll. Yeah, not in a Chester Benington way.

As he comes, rock and roll. Do it, babe.

I think I should go.

No.

Say it. Now you're in trouble. See, you cross the line and you knew what you were getting into.

This job is really hard. -autorotic-fixation. They want me to cross it, but when I do, they hate it. Fuck. You fuck me up.

Here we go. Autorotic fixation.

Now you're wrong.

Dude, you're doing it worse now for some reason.

Autorotic fixation.

Now it's better.

Better? You left out five letters for an autoaorotic fixiation.

He doesn't know all the letters.

I don't know all the letters, dude. Let's move on. Let's move on. Anyway, Mike, good to see you, bud. What are you doing out here?

That was a fun. You turned that into a talk show.

He's good at.

That, too. Mike, what.

Are you.

Doing out here? Yeah, you're really Byron Allen me. Well, I'm out here.

Oh, you're comparing me to Byron. I heard.

You don't like sunshine. You like sunshine?

I'm a very rich man. A very rich, successful man.

He owns the weather, right? Does he own the weather channel?

I know those. Byron does.

Does he? He owns the weather channel, bought the weather channel. Look at this. Byron Allen, look it up. He bought The Weather channel a couple of years ago. But I remember at Missy's funeral, everybody was talking about it. Owns The Weather channel. Holy shit.

Dude, so every time there's a hurricane, he just fucking.

Sits there and-Yeah, he's getting papered up, dude.

Also, he fucked me, dude.

What happened? He had sex with Bobby.

No, that was years ago. He has a show. I forgot what it was called.

The.

Byron Allen Show? No, there's a show that he does. It's called? The Jordie Miller works on what it's called?

Funny You Should Ask?

Is that right? It's a game show.

Yeah, I think that's funny. Funny You Should Ask, right?

I did it once. Yeah, I got it right. I was there and Byron says, Hello, this and that. He goes, That's your seat. I did it when Louis Anderson.

Was still alive. There you are. The shirt says, Old fart. That's a great shirt. It's a great shirt. What happened to that shirt?

I don't know. But that's my shirt, right?

Old fart. I can barely see you.

I was supposed to do two more after that. I found out right after I was leaving, somebody called me and goes, Yeah, Byron is going to do your spots.

Wait, what do you mean Byron is doing your spots?

He's going to sit on the chair and he wants to be on camera.

On his own show? Yeah. He hosts.

The show, right? No, some other guy hosted it at the time.

Oh, that's fucked. You got bumped?

I got bumped by the guy that owns it. You got bumped by the guy that owns it? I'm going to say to Byron, Dude, we have issues, dude, and I don't care you on the weather. Put a fucking tsunami in my house. No. Give me a hurricane. No, because you live.

Close to me. Don't do that.

Byron, please. You're in charge with the weather? I don't care, dude. What, you're a storm now?

Yeah, he's a storm from X-men.

Storm is black.

I know. We have a fucking bone to pick, man.

No, you've picked it.

Right now. That's what I meant.

Bone is picked, my dog.

So anyway, don't say his name. Oh, sorry. I didn't-I love you, Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. What are you doing out here, bud?

Can I also say this is the largest amount of water I've ever been offered on.

The show before. Welcome to LA, Dog. This ain't New York, buddy.

I'll be drinking this the next two weeks. This is crazy.

Yeah, that's as big as your apartment in New York. That's the fucking problem with the New York, is everything is smaller out here. Bigger, baby.

You think.

This is Chrissy Chaos? Yeah, fuck that, dude. This is a real podcast. We'll give you all the water. Feeney's got a new special out right now. We'd like people to go see it and watch it because he's a friend and he's wonderful. It's out available right now. Tell him the title. You're going to love it.

Mike Feeney United the comedy seller. It's on my YouTube channel, YouTube.

Com. That's the title?

Mike Feeney. Yeah, I kept it pretty… I didn't.

Want any- Mike Feeney doing stand-up.

Let's call it that. Well, it's the reason why it's called that. You know what I mean?

There's a story.

What is the story? Well, maybe I'll tell it. Do you.

Know what.

To do?

I got what it is. You know what the deal is, dude? What is the deal? Ever since I've known you, right? You're conflicted with me.

No, not at all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is… What are you saying?

Well, from my perspective, an outsider.

You're not really an outsider.

A young comic, an apprentice.

You're literally an insider of this show.

Yeah, yeah. So you're going to tell your.

Boss something? You came in hot.

Dude. This is pretty amazing. Bobby is mad.

But maybe there's something I don't know. There's a past.

You said that- Exactly. You got to put it into.

Context, dude. Yeah, so what happened?

I think the first time we met was outside the comedy cell at the village underground. I said, What's up, dude? I'm Mike. Then I think your first words were you, motherfucker. Then you lunged at me. I think that's been our most... I'm not mad about it.

Does that sound like something I would do?

Oh, my God. Yeah. Guys, vote here if we could have a.

Fucking click vote. That's insane behavior.

Were you holding your eyes far apart or something?

No. Sounds like he's forget. It was not pulling my eyes.

He was. That's what you were doing, Mike. That doesn't sound like it at all. Yeah, so you went like that and that's why he launched, dude.

That.

Makes more sense.

Stop Asian.

Hate, Mike.

You didn't see me.

Doing that. All right.

Mike Feeney walks up to you and goes, Welcome to Vee Reconda Ground. That's what he did.

You know what he did? He did the reverse. He made his eyes whiter. It's just to.

Prove his dominance.

I'm white. Yeah, Mike. What the.

Fuck, dude? He's looking up and down. Yeah, the.

Peripher is-Anyway, we've had conflict, but let's resolve it now, dude.

Let's wash the beef.

I literally have no beef with you, dude.

It's great. I don't want to have beef with.

You, man. Yeah, I have beef with somebody else.

Byron Allen.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, and but... Me?

You're in some shit.

You're in some shit, dude.

Now.

I'm glad you stay. Would you fight Byron Allen? Let's say he heard about this and he wants to square up with you. Would you fight him for real?

Like in a physical, like boxing.

Yeah, let's say, Byron Allen hears this, takes it serious and wants to square up with you. He's fucking big. He's 6'3.

There's no way, dude.

He's going to fuck you up. He would fuck me up. Why are you talking shit on our show? He's going to.

Fuck you up. I'm never going to see him again.

I doubt it, dude. He owns the weather.

He puts fog every time he's around. That's the fog. What a cool superpower.

I heard Byron was here.

I.

Can't see him. Imagine a group of kids, a bunch of kids sitting around elementary school. I want to be a firefighter. I want to be a space man. I want to own the weather. Byron, we can't own the weather.

Let's not be ridiculous. Watch me, bitch.

He.

Bought the weather.

I'm just fucking wild. It's Mike Feeney, live at the comedy cellar. Night at.

The comedy cellar.

Oh, I got it wrong.

Yeah, it's all right. See what I'm saying?

There's a tone. You're throwing these weird verbal darts at him.

You're right. Let's start over. Try it again.

Let's do it again. Go ahead. Introduce to.

His special. So Mike Feeney, a Night at the Comedy Seller? Yes, correct. I assume it's taped at the comedy cellar?

It's taped at the...

You're doing really good things with your eyes.

Yeah, we went.

Cross eyes. And you're doing it live. It's at night. It's at night. Yeah, and it's you, Mike Feeney. It is. So Mike Feeney, night at the comedy cellar.

But also there's four rooms of the comedy cellars.

No, don't talk.

See, that's what- As you know, I said.

Okay, good. He did.

Say as you know.

I.

Know. It's me doing all four rooms in one night.

Oh, that's.

Cool idea. Then I directed it and I edited it because I pitched it to production companies and they said it couldn't be done and it would cost.

Over a thousand dollars. Didn't Fihim and Anwar do that?

Exactly. He did all three rooms in the comedy store.

He did three. This is four, so it's more.

I like that. That's smart. I got a one-up. Want to one-up our buddy, dude. Want to one-up.

Our buddy.

It's great, the original.

It's.

Great. You're thinking, you know? I am. Outside the box.

Yeah. Tell him about your special.

Nothing.

Okay.

So anyway.

Let's go back. Be nice.

Oh, you don't think I can do one?

No, you can't.

I could.

Do it. You know what? I bet you can't.

You know what? I'll do... How about this?

There we go.

I'll do mine everywhere at the conference room and at the laugh factory and at the improv and at the ice house. I wound up to Mike.

Really?

I could.

Do that. You're leaving out some flappers. You're not going.

To do flappers?

Yeah, flappers and all that stuff. What about the comedy castle or whatever?

What about the fart button? I'm sure it's great. What can they see? Mike, good to be here. Mike, what a pleasure. Thanks for visiting us here in L. A. Where can they see your special?

They can see it on my YouTube channel, YouTube.

Com/mikefeinicom. We'll put the link in the description for people that want to watch it.

Yeah, Mike. Let me say the reason why we have this is to make sure I respect you.

Is that what it is?

100%.

Okay, the pause gave me pause.

Hold on.

I think you're more of a Ronnie Chang fan.

You think I like Ronnie Chang more than you're saying? A little bit. I know Ronnie Chang more than you, but maybe that's just an issue we can work through.

Well, he's trying to say, Do you like Chinese people or Korean people better? What he's trying to get to the root.

Well, I have a history, though. There was a kid in my.

High school. What? You have a history what? With Chinese people? We all do, buddy. Runs pretty deep.

There was a kid that we grew up with in my neighborhood. He moved there in high school, and we called him Mexican Tony, but he was incredibly Chinese.

That's really funny.

That's a little funny. But he was.

From- That's so funny. Mexican Tony?

Yeah.

Mexican Tony is so funny. Yeah. He was from China. He was a transfer kid and his family was so rich. They had the biggest house in our neighborhood and he went to our high school and he wanted to ingratiate his friends into the... Make friends. We had all the people over for a house party in 11th grade and we all went to his house, Long Island scumbags. We all got very drunk. There was probably 50 people there, got way out of control. People destroyed his house, punched holes in the walls. People were fighting and brawling. I lost my virginity on his sister's bed after seven Mike's hard lemonades. Wow! Ever since then, I felt bad about that. I feel like I owe the Chinese people a little bit of gratitude. He opened his home to me and we really-Where's.

Mexican Tony now?

Honestly, I know he got in a ton of trouble for that. His house was pristine, beautiful, impeccably. He thought he would just have a few friends over, and then everyone texted him.

Let me ask you a question. He's in Trump's cabinet. I heard he was working for Trump.

He's.

Probably doing-And Mexican Tony.

We all.

Love.

Mexican Tony.

Not really, Mexican.

When his parents came back, I mean, what do you think they would said to him? Accent, please.

Here you are. Here you are.

I'm Mexican Tony. Oh, mom. Dad, what's up? Sorry. Mom, dad? What? How do you...

I am very disappointed in you, Mexican Tony.

No, dude, no, dude. Let's do it again.

Well, they were proper speaking. You know what I mean?

Also, you're saying that Mexican Tony's parents were born in America? No, they weren't. They had accents, right? Are you an actor, Mike? Are you an actor, Mike?

Sure. This is the role.

Okay. Mom, dad, sorry, we had a party last night. My bad.

I am very disappointed.

Very good. Would you ever come out of here?

I was going to move out here in 2019. I was having so much fun. Remember 2019 at the comedy store was the best. It was the first time I came out to L. A. And I was like, Oh, fuck, this might be better than New York now. It's at that level. Every comic, you guys are all driving Ferraris and BMWs. Especially him. What's happening? I was like, How is everybody doing so? Then I was like, You know what? I did New Year's Eve at the comedy store, and it was amazing. I was like, I'm going to move out here in this year, in 2020, and then it all ended.

You knew who did that? Byron Allen.

He brought it with.

The weather. He brought it with the weather. Oh, shit. Chinese fog rolled in.

He's.

Unstoppable. He really is, dude. Hit TV shows.

Controls the weather. I think the combination of COVID and then Logan and everyone moving out of L. A. I've fucked up the scene a little bit. I have to admit.

That, I think. But I think we're the scene now.

Yeah, but do you like being the scene?

Do you like being the top dog?

I'm having so much fun.

I'm having fun, but I don't. Sometimes I look at the lineup and I'll go, Oh, I'm the guy on the lineup. I don't like that. I like seeing.

But you were always one of the guys in the lineup.

To be one of many, but to be the only one. Sometimes you look at the lineup and go, Oh, shit, I'm the only guy. I think.

What a lot of times happens with us that also happens in New York that I see, and I can attest to this, comedy seller lineups, everyone's on fucking tour all the time. I think more comics now are on tour than I've ever seen in my life.

Every single comic is, and also every single comic seems to be in Australia and New Zealand.

We just got an offer to go down there. It feels like.

Australia, New Zealand have every comedian in America.

Well, tell him where you're staying right now. You care to talk about it or no? Yeah, it.

Doesn't matter. I'm staying at.

Tim's- Tim's Mega Mansion over in the Hollywood Hill.

You're like five minutes from me, three minutes.

From me. Yeah. Let's hang out, dude.

I will leave tomorrow for- Okay. But if you weren't leaving- Wait a minute. -how long have you been- Wait a minute. How are you in town for?

I'm only in town till Sunday, then I go to Austin.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oops.

Timing. Yeah, yeah. Timing. Next time, though, for sure.

Next time, though, for sure. Justin, just got back from Austin. Do you have any words of wisdom for Feeney, for Austin? Give him one of the inside dips.

Yeah, get a whole cart and the cigarettes.

You're going to be gizzing that. You're going to be smoking them.

Okay. Have you been there yet?

Yeah, Austin? Yeah. I haven't been to the mothership, though, since it's open, though. It's been.

My first time. Are you going to be going to play there?

Yeah, I'm doing Kill Tony when I'm out there.

That's great. Bob and I are opening up a club down there, The Father Ship. I don't know if he's going to be mad about it, but.

We're doing it. We don't give a fuck. We have also a hot dog stand. We're a restaurant.

We are opening up a hot dog stand for real. It's called Uh-oh, Hot Dog.

What's why is it Uh-oh?

Go ahead and show them. Uh-oh, Hot Dog. It's a great.

Character he did.

It's a great character he did on Mad TV. Bring up Uh-oh, Hot Dog real fast. Uh-oh, the Hot Dog. I mean.

Two camera, no less.

Just a full. Right at the camera. We're opening up a Hot.

Dog joint. I mean, that's how that sketch ends, by the way.

It just ends. All the sketches end with all Hot Dog.

Yeah, there's a bunch of them. That's fun.

It was Mad TV at the time, and we can move on. I don't need to do this because he's going to not want to talk about it. But honestly, the reason that I think it was so successful up against SNL was that the sketches were way more like whack-a-do.

Insane. I think SNL tried, and still does, have a cohesive front, middle, end. It always has a bow on it, like a very traditional, well-written sketches. But I like that that show was fucking weird. It was like shooting at the sky sometimes, and it didn't matter if it didn't.

Really- Ms. Swan and- It.

Was fucking weird, man.

What was the one that... What was the one that Michael McDonough?

Yeah, Michael McDonog.

Stewart. Stewart. I mean, not all of that shit was like- Look what I can do. -the amount of times that people... Yeah, my friends, I used to just do that like, Look what I can do. Jump and just do the dumbest thing.

-yeah. It was wonderful. We're having dinner with Michael, by.

The way. Don't pay. I know we are. But here's the one thing I want to say is when I auditioned, they didn't want me. They were like, We want a white guy.

They wanted.

To tear and kill him. At the end, it was down to me and tear and kill him. They basically said, We got to give this kid a shot. I know he's Asian Korean. They've never had anyone like that. None of the sketch shows really had someone like me.

Then you both got it.

Me and Tarrin both got it. My hats off to them for.

Hiring me. Hats off to them for hiring. We actually met some of the Mad TV people in Boston. Oh, yeah. Some of the old executives came to the show, Writers and stuff like that. It was great.

That was great.

Anyway, Mike. I had a good time.

Michael.

Thanks for being here.

Thanks.

For having me. We'll check out.

The special. Please go watch a special right now on YouTube. Mike Feeney will link it. The boys will link it in the description.

I'm going to get your number after this so that the next time you're.

In town- No more fighting.

I can book you on Tiger Valley. I would love to do it. I'm going to get your number after this thing and let's cause peace. I love that. There's too much turmoil.

In the world. Yeah. Let's settle this conflict right here. What was the wink, though? That wink undid everything you just said. Kahoots. Yeah.

The wink was, first of all-What was that? -it's a miracle that an Asian guy can wing.

It is pretty surprising.

It's.

Very subtle.

Well, they're so close.

Together that I live. That's right. The words, wink and blink are also too close together. I don't know. How do we know what you're really doing?

Yeah. No, that wing was pleasant. Okay. It was a pleasant wing. I want to say let's do that. Thanks for coming by here. Thanks for having me. And thank you for being a bad friend.