To my mom, I knew from a very young age that I was different. We both did. The way I'd sort my toys, that I'd insist on different plates for different foods, and birthday parties made me anxious. And by the time I was four years old, I became so sure that if I didn't hide my differences, people wouldn't like me. So I became a version of myself I thought those around me would accept. I became a mimic, copying other people, imitating normal behavior and suppressing anything weird. For most people, these rules come naturally, automatically. Their faces match their voices match their feelings. But I had to think about every the little thing. In the end, I put so much effort into this mask of normality that nobody could even tell that I had one. When you're autistic, masking, camouflaging is a survival strategy. It's to avoid judgment or avoid bullying. It's a way to fit into the non-autistic world. I have masked with everybody in my life. Including you, Mom. I wanted to be the perfect child. I wanted to make you proud. But now, I'm tired. It's exhausting pretending to be normal all the time.

I'm beginning to think it might be time to embrace my authentic self, to show you the things you don't normally see. But I'm scared. I'm worried that if I'm quiet and still, or my face doesn't match my feelings, then you'll think that I'm being rude. I'm worried that if you see me rocking back and forth or flapping my hands, then you'll think that I'm not okay. And I'm worried that if you see me silent, unable to speak, you'll think that I need fixing. It might not come easily for me straight away, but I'm ready to be myself. I hope you won't be disappointed. I love you always, your daughter, Flo.

You all right?

Yeah.

I love you. I love you.

I want to scoop up the five-year-old you. Me too. And say it's okay. Yeah. And if we could turn the clock back and I knew what I know today, it would be maybe I would have been able to give you some reassurance about it's okay. It's absolutely okay. Yeah.

All through my childhood and my teenage life and my adult life, you've been so accepting, I'm going to cry, of everything that I am.

Because you're lovely.

I'm all right. But it's scary being different. It wasn't anything about you. It was the world, really.

No, but I... Please, you don't have to mask in front of me anymore.

That's why I wanted this video for you. I wanted this film to tell you that, but it's been really hard to go. I've always been acting. Yeah. I didn't expect to get snotty.

I know. Do you want a tissue? Thank you..