Daddy Gang, I am so excited because Ariana Maddox is our guest on Call Her Daddy Today. If you are a fan of the reality show, Vanderpump Rules, you know exactly who Ariana is. You don't need any preface to this interview. You're ready to dive in. But for those of you who may not be familiar and have never watched the show, I got you. I get it. You're stressing out. You're like, I can't watch this interview because I'm not going to know anything. I don't know the backstory. Daddy Gang, I got you. I'm going to break this down for you so you can follow along and also enjoy this episode. So here we go. Vanderpump Rules is a reality television show that is on its 10th season. Naturally, with reality shows, there's been tons of emotion and drama throughout the years. And there have also obviously been hookups, breakups, and cheating scandals, which brings me back to my guest today, Ariana Madix. Ariana stars on the show alongside her former long term boyfriend, Tom Sandoval. And let me be so clear, when I say long term, Daddy Yang, I don't mean like, oh, they've been going steady for a couple of years.

No, no, no. I mean, they were dating for nine years. They bought a house together. They had dogs together. They were planning on freezing embryos together, and they planned to spend the rest of their lives together. That is until Ariana found out that Tom had been cheating on her for nearly seven months. And Daddy Gang, he wasn't fucking some stranger or some check off of Instagram. No, it is truly everyone's worst nightmare. He was cheating with one of Ariana's closest friends and fellow castmate, Raquel. A huge betrayal, as well as a complete and total blindside, but also fucking classic, right? The boyfriend and the best friend are cheating. Awful. This affair has been secretly happening the entire time Season 10 was being filmed, and no one knew. But now, as we've seen, the news has leaked. Everyone is dying to see how this drama continue to unfold. Somehow, a news story is new every fucking week on this shit. And we've obviously seen glimpses. Almost every single castmate has spoken out about this. They have gone on podcasts, news channels, radio. I mean, this is everywhere. Even CNN and the New York Times have reported on this cheating scandal.

Apologies have been posted, sides have been taken. Everyone is extremely shook and extremely invested. But the one person that we have not heard from in long form, and the most important person that we need to hear from for a sit down in-depth interview is Ariana. I also want to point out, obviously, this is such a noisy scandal, and everyone's like, I'm excited to hear all... I just want to remind everyone, this is Ariana's life. This was her relationship. This was her best friend. And when this happened, at the time, it probably felt like her world was turned upside down. So even if you don't watch reality TV, that's okay, because unfortunately, this episode is extremely relatable because it's about cheating, betrayal, dishonesty, energy, manipulation, and heartbreak. So Daddy Gang, I'm excited to give you Ariana, and I'm excited to give her a space to open up and speak about this and have a really open, honest conversation. So here we go. Let's get into it. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

Hi.

Hi. Ariana Maddox. Welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Hi. Thanks for having me.

How are you doing?

I'm okay.

Can you explain what the past few months have felt like to you?

A roller coaster. I mean, truly the lowest lows, I think maybe ever, maybe since my dad died that I've experienced. And then I wouldn't say the highest highs, but I would definitely say that there has been some really amazing bright spots, and it sometimes feels like, I don't know, a ping pong match in between those two extremes. I have a tendency to compartmentalize a little bit with emotions. It's the Virgo moon in me. But it's weird because also sometimes when I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm doing... I'm feeling good. Things are really positive. Then people on the Internet will be like, why she must have not cared? They're mad at me for healing. But then they like... But that's the thing is it's like, everyone's always going to have an opinion about how you should live.

Totally. Something I want to talk about is I think so many people have had something to say for so long about this scandal. We haven't really heard from you about start to finish in long form, your thoughts, everything that's gone down. So today I'm hoping we can put it all into one. You're like, okay, let me just take a little rosé Cheers. Here we fucking go.

Necessary.

Can you take me back to the night that you found out that Tom was cheating on you with your at the time best friend, Raquel? I know you were at a concert of Tom's. His phone fell out of his pocket. Someone handed it to you to just take your boyfriend's phone and hold it. Take us from there.

So they had one more song after that. And so I was holding my phone and his phone just as a stack. There's nothing weird about that. We were together for nine years, me holding onto his phone, his laptop, whatever. It's not weird. So they had one more song. And then afterwards, I got up to go over to him and tell him, Good job, and give him his phone back. And he was talking to some other of the band members. So he was a little preoccupied. He was a little busy. And I was like, okay. And then literally, in that moment, I was standing in the back of Tom Tom, and I just was like, I don't know. I was just like, it felt like divine intervention or something because I've always been very hesitant to become the snooper because I always feel like any time you snoop in anyone's stuff, even if they're not guilty of doing anything wrong, you always end up finding something you don't want to find or seeing something you don't want to see. I always feel like it's a slippery slope because once you look once, then you want to look.

It becomes an addiction because I've been like that in past relationships. So in this one, I was always like, I'm not going to do that. And if I ask about something, I will take Take Tom's word at-Base value. Exactly. I will be someone who trusts because I don't want to become that version of myself. Totally. But in that moment, I just had this thought, this go do it. This is a time to do it. And so I went into the bathroom at Tom Tom. I went into one of the stalls. He had not changed the passcode on his phone. And that's the other thing is we knew each other's We knew each other's. So it felt like if you were going to be the type of person who is going to have an affair or be cheating or hiding things, you wouldn't also be so readily giving of your stuff like that. And so I looked in his messages. There was nothing weird in his messages. And I was like, okay, you're being dumb. And then I opened this camera roll, and then that's when I saw what I saw. And I busted out of the stall.

And there were some girls in there that were just trying to go to the bathroom. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And then because I didn't go to the bathroom, and I thought, They're going to think I'm leaving the bathroom and not washing my hands. I was like, I promise I didn't pee or anything. And then I just ran out of the bathroom and went straight up to him, and he was like, Oh, hey, do you want to go smoke a cigarette or something? And I was like, Yeah, I do, actually. And it's funny because there's a photo of him that I've seen used in articles and stuff. And it's from literally the moment I was walking up in his arms like this. And I see that photo, and I'm like, That was literally the moment before. And then we went straight out to the back behind Tom Tom. That's when I confronted him. What the fuck is this?

Okay, pause for two seconds. Yeah. I feel like no one is saying specifically what the video is. Are you guys not legally allowed to be talking about what the video is?

I don't know. Axie can...

I don't know. Can I say what I'm speculating? Yeah, I can say. Sure. I think the speculation is in the camera roll, there was a screen recording that he screen recorded while they were on FaceTime of them having FaceTime sex. That's what I'm thinking, and I think I know, is what it was. But you don't have to confirm. But just to give people context that may have no idea about this drama yet. I don't know how you would. You live in Iraq. So you view something like that. Can you just take me back in the stall? Bring me to the moment where you come across realizing he's cheated on you with Raquel. What were you thinking in the stall?

I was shaking, full body. I don't know if it's anger, shock. I think shock is a big part of it because I've been cheated on in my life before, and I've caught somebody before like that way in my past. I guess it's that feeling I hadn't felt in, we're talking 15 years. It's hard to describe, but it's literally be a combination of shock and anger and somehow disbelief that this is truly what you're seeing. And then there's just... I don't know. It's really a huge mix of emotions.

It is. And did you think this was a one-off, or did you immediately think this has been a relationship?

I mean, there's no way that it could be a one-off given the closeness of all of our relationship to her. You know what I mean? So there's no way. And also to feel so comfortable I mean, that on a FaceTime, there's just no way of it being like a one time, oh, we just decided one day to FaceTime.

Drunkenly, I'm like, who should I call? I'm going to call Raquel and just like, yeah, no. So you start confronting him. What does he say?

He wanted us to get into a car. He wanted us to get into an Uber and leave immediately. He was starting to call a car, and then he took my phone And then I was trying to get my phone back, and he ended up walking down San Vicente with my phone. I was in boots with a peel. So I was freaking Usain Bolt being like, I need my phone back.

Why did he take your phone?

Because he thought Because I was like, Oh, I'm going to tweet about this. I mean, obviously I'm not. But you know what I mean? You say things like that in those moments. You're not like... Of course. I'm not calm about it. I was freaking the fuck out. And he was very concerned about people hearing us because obviously we know a lot of people in West Hollywood. We know a lot of people at all the different bars, and we were in the back of all these bars, and he was very concerned about people finding out. And I was like, I don't care. Why would I care? Who am I protecting by doing that?

So do you both get in a car together? And where do you go? Home? Home. What happens in the car?

And when you get home- In the car, I called Rachel during all of this after I I got my phone back on San Vicente. I called her, and that's when I was like, If you ever gave a shit about any woman ever, about me as your friend, about literally anything, you need to tell me when this started, whatever. Tell me. I was hysterical. And that's when she said the part about after the girls trip. And I was like, you mean when my dog died? When Charlotte passed away is what the girls trip was. The fact that that is not even on your radar at all in describing this. And And that's when Sheena came up, and that's when Sheena took her phone and then said, I'm going to call you from my phone. I'm throwing her phone in the gutter. Sheena called me from her phone. I get in the car. Sheena is on the phone with me, and then he gets in the car, and now he's on the phone with her. So all four of us are on the phone together. And it's literally like, why are you carrying? Why are you on the phone with her?

Who gives a shit about her right now? And then that's when he was just very dismissive, very defiant, dismissive of Sheena's friendship to me and to him in that moment. It was very much like just... And the poor Uber driver.

We should get him in here. I know.

I remember at one point we stopped and got a pack of cigarettes because I was like, I want to drink it on chain spoke. You know what I mean? Of course. I'm like, One of those nights. Please. And he went into the gas station, and I was just in the car with the Uber driver at that point, and I was just like, Are you hearing this? And the Uber driver was like, Yeah, man.

Uber driver was like, Whoa, but give me five-star, girl.

Yeah.

So you get home. And this is the part I think I've seen the world be so fascinated because you guys live together. You own a home together. So you both go home that night. And is it just a screaming war till you fall asleep?

Essentially, yeah.

Do you sleep in the same room?

No, not at that point, no.

So you sleep in a different room. And when you're by yourself, what were you thinking?

Well, I made sure to text close friends of mine and of his because I was like, I am not going to be in a position where... And luckily, because of the Sheena of it all, at least I was like, no, we're not keeping this a secret.

Other people knew. Yeah.

So I was making... Texts were slowly trickling like, what is happening? Are you kidding me? I didn't sleep. I didn't lay down to sleep until maybe 6:00 AM. That was how long we were going at it, I guess. And he was just mad at me pretty much the entire time.

When I've been cheated on, it's like when Someone that has been keeping a secret for so long gets called out. All they've been doing is lying. And so I feel like their natural response is lean in harder to trying to gaslight you, trying to distort your reality, trying to make you feel crazy somehow and not take accountability. And somehow you're like, How are we fighting? How are you yelling at me? You fucked my best friend. Yeah.

And I'm screaming, crying, throwing up in this moment, and you're just annoyed at the whole thing, basically.

So that night ends. And what we do know is when this happened, you guys were not filming anymore. No. So how long after this happened did the cameras finally get in there?

So this was Wednesday night, and so it Friday morning that cameras were at my house.

Because what I could notice, because we've all been through a breakup like that, is the conversation in the finale that we watched felt more like a breakup than post-morning, literally go fuck yourself. Fuck you.

Because there had been that little bit of that space.

Back and forth. The final conversation between you guys, it was infuriating, I think, for the nation to watch because he's blaming you being like, I lost my mojo. We never had sex. I wasn't myself. I wasn't happy. And he was quite literally taking no accountability whatsoever for his actions. What was it like sitting there listening to someone as you're hurt, try to deflect all responsibility for what they had done?

It was awful. It was brutal. But it was also what he had been doing for that past 48 hours up until that moment. So I almost knew that that's where he was headed. But then listening to it in the moment, not knowing what other people around me are thinking when they hear it, I'm like, is this? You start to really question your own sense of reality. And this whole thing had me... I did not at that point, that 48 hours, especially that night, that Wednesday night and that Thursday day, and going to that conversation without having any other witnesses, and also being in this position where it's my partner of nine years and one of my best friends. My sense of reality was gone. I just did not know what was up and what was down at that point.

You were very vocal this season about defending Tom and Raquel when people would come to you and you had their backs. If someone would have come forward, and I know this is a hypothetical, but if someone would have come forward and told you about the fair, do you think you would have believed them, or do you think you had to see it yourself to believe it?

I think I would have believed it if it was told to me off camera, or if it was told to me, you know what I'm saying? Because I think to some degree, a lot of what I felt was rumors and rumblings was, which has happened before, people being like, okay, I heard a little something about something, but I'm going to bring it up because that's our job. We bring up everything that we hear about. And a lot of times it's nothing. And I was like, well, if it's nothing, I'm not going to have my friend and my boyfriend be dragged through the mud.

I get what you're saying. It's almost like being on reality TV for so many years, you become almost more accustomed to, this is obviously for content, this is for the show, this is for the show, this is drama. You're not actually going to believe that shit. So if it was genuine, it would have come off camera. Right.

Or it would have been a friend who's like, I'm going to end up bringing this up on camera. But I need to tell you first. But I need to tell you first because I think it's actually real. And I think that that's something that my close friends would have done. Okay. I got it.

Okay. I do want us to take a step back because as much as we're talking about in the weeds of this affair, you were in a relationship for nine years with this man, and you guys were friends before you got into a relationship. What was it that first initially attracted you to Tom?

I just thought he was so earnest in everything that he did, and I found it really endearing that he would be over the top in making a cocktail or over the top in just everyday parts of life. I thought it very endearing and sweet, almost. And I also thought he was a really good friend to the people close to him. And I thought that that was a really good quality.

How would you have described your relationship with Tom to someone?

I would have described it as... We used to call each other Apocalypse Buddies, the person that all shit goes to hell, and this is the person that you can rely on that you want with you who's going to continue to make you laugh and get through all of what life has to throw at you. And honestly, even right up until me finding out about this affair, even during while the affair was going on, we were still laughing together, having our little We had so many little inside jokes and things like that. And if you were to go through either of our camera rolls, you would see just so many, even during the affair, amazing fun memories together.

What was your sex life in the beginning? And then as your relationship progressed?

I mean, in the beginning, I was definitely struggling with... I was very excited that someone was, I thought, really into me because the relationship I was in previously. That sex life was fine, but the And at the same time, I was being criticized very heavily about my body, my personality, just everything. And so I was like, oh, my gosh, this is someone who's really into me. And so that was very exciting. And I think that our sex life waxed and wained at different points. I definitely think that got to a point sometimes where I just wanted that quality time so bad. And I just think that in my mind, I thought, well, if we get through opening this bar, if we get through all this stuff, then we'll be able to have all this time together. And I felt like he just was adding more and more things to his plate. And I just didn't... I don't know. I felt like, oh, well, he's just not into me.

Yeah. It's like you lose the connection almost. And I think that's something... Because there's so many things you just said. First is from your past relationship, going with someone that was very vocal about things they didn't like about you or your body or your personality, that takes a toll on your self-confidence. So then to meet this guy that's larger than life and funny and jokes and is so into you, it's like, I totally understand that allure. And you feel alive and happy and good with yourself in In the season, I think probably one of the hardest scenes for women, specifically, to watch was that scene with you and Raquel, where you open up to Raquel as your friend at the time, again, to people watching, Ariana did not know about the affair yet. And you voice that you feel insecure about your body, and you say, Why would he want to have sex with me? And watching her speak to you knowing she was fucking your partner is so painful to watch. But when I I watched that, I felt so bad for you because I'm like, did Tom not make you feel confident and make you feel good?

It felt like he would complain about frequency of sex, and it felt like he wanted to have sex. But I was like, but do you want to have sex with me? Is it about me or is it just about the act? And that's where I was like, okay, so but what is it about? He wasn't really great with the words of descriptors. I was like, be specific. What do you like? What do you like about me? Yeah. I need to know those. I want to know those things. Or I would be like, okay, well, do you like... People have said that they think I have a nice ass. I don't know if I agree with that, but do you agree with that? And he would be very turned off by the idea of me being like, Do you like that part of me? Or what are the And I think that it wasn't coming necessarily from a place of he didn't like my body. I just don't think he knew how to express, or maybe that's just a disconnect there and love languages or how to click in that way because- I get what you're saying, but I also to any fucking guy listening to this, it's like when your partner is so clearly being like, I need some reassurance.

I don't know the last time you've given me a compliment. That's also like, Hey, Hey, wake up. You want sex? Well, why would I have sex with someone that I don't know the last time I felt pretty in front of you?

I'd be like, Can you objectify me? Maybe.

Like, call me fucking hot.

Right. Or he would say things like, Oh, nice outfit. When I was naked or changing, he'd be like, nice outfit. And I'm like, I get the joke, but that's not connect. That's not going to really get me there.

Something that really pisses me off is when men try to justify their cheating by being like, But we weren't having sex. I need to get my fix somewhere. And it's so often that women are deemed as the problem. And of course, a guy went and cheated. You weren't having sex, but it's like, But why weren't you having sex? And so was there ever a point where Tom or this situation, as you kept hearing it, we weren't connecting, we weren't physical. Was there ever a point where you were questioning, was that your fault?

I I think in the past, I would have been inclined to do that. But because I had been in therapy for years at that point, I knew. And couples therapy with him, by the way. And the couples therapist literally sat across from both of us and said, This is a him problem. This isn't a you problem. There's certain things I have to take accountability for in the relationship. But when it came to stuff like that, it's like, No, this is something that he's going through, that he's dealing with. And don't take that on yourself. Just please don't. Because it is my inclination to be like, I'm not enough. We all have that lie, whatever the big lie is that we all tell ourselves. Mine is the not enough lie. And the therapist was like, Please don't do that. Right.

This actually has nothing to do with you. Yeah. I know hindsight is obviously 2020, and it's like, you can look back and try to... But were there any signs of red flags in the beginning beginning of the relationship that you now see?

I think in the beginning, it was like, he likes to go out a lot. And I thought that that was just the phase of life that we were in. And I would have thought that nine years later, we would be in a different phase. I think I'm in a different phase in my life. I still like to go out and have fun. I go to festivals, I party, I have a good time. But as far as going out during the week, just for the It's a hell of it, it's not anyone's birthday. It's not like a dinner and drinks. It's just like a... That's just not where I'm at anymore. And I thought that we were in that phase together, and then we would come out of it. But I feel like- You never grew up. He didn't really.

When you look back, I know a huge conversation on the Internet is your relationship with Tom started by him cheating on his girlfriend, Kristin. You guys kissed. He lied to you and was like, I'm not with her anymore. But then It turns out Kristin was like, We were fully together. And people are like, Oh, you lose them how you got them. He cheated on Kristin. He cheated on you. How do you feel looking back at how your relationship started and how people are now like, Are you that surprised? He It's not that you didn't lose him. He did it to Kristen. He did it to you.

Well, to be very clear, I didn't lose him. He lost me. So that's right there. Sorry. But I think that I trusted in him so much even as a friend back then, and I trusted him so much during our relationship, that I trusted his perspective on things. And I think that I was caught up in whatever he told me, whatever was that he was telling me was what I was going with. That's not to say I'm a smart girl. I could have dug deeper, but I didn't. Kristen and I are very close, and I love her so much. And their relationship, as As she will tell you, it was very toxic, and there was a lot of cheating on both sides there. Whatever. I love her. She's amazing. She's a very strong, incredible woman, and she has become just such a force. I think that it's something that just goes to show that that's maybe just what he does is he says things like, I tried to end it, or things like that, or, Oh, we're broken up, or Things like whatever it is, I would like to think that maybe this thing that's happening right now will prevent him from ever doing that again with any other person, just because I think it's time to put that tactic to He was in bed.

When you look back, I'm just thinking, do you think he's a pathological liar?

I mean, it's hard to... I mean, clearly in the last seven months, he was a pathological liar. Yeah. It's now hard for me to look back at nine years. And if I tell myself he's a pathological liar, then that means that the last nine years of my life were potentially a lie. But he did say stuff on that finale episode to Sheena. We weren't happy, and we bought the house as a bandy. And I'm like, a bandy to who? Because that wasn't where I was at at all. Or things like, there were a lot of things from his perspective that have been said in that episode. And otherwise, that it's like, oh, okay, well, that's maybe how you were thinking, but that's nowhere near where I was. Right.

And also we're in a relationship, so you should have shared that to me because I would have loved to known that because I probably wouldn't have bought a house with you if you were like, Just to be clear, babe, this is a band date. You'd been like, The fuck?

Right. I'm like, Okay, well, maybe we should fix our relationship then now and do that and not do... Yeah.

Couple therapy. You and Tom got into couples therapy this past year. After he started the affair.

It was full-blown at that point. I didn't know that.

So when you got into couples therapy, you had no idea about the affair. You go in and he claims he initiated it.

Is that true? Initiatet couples therapy? Couples therapy, yeah. Yes, but it had been brought up by one or both of us over the years of being together.

Yeah. And it's since been revealed that he got you both into couples therapy as part of his eventual plan to end the relationship. What explanation did he give you as to why he was so gung-ho ready, finally, for couples therapy?

I mean, he was just... We got into an argument one day. Well, you saw on the show, we had that conversation on the couch, and it was that conversation and then one other one that we have where it was like, I think we should go to a couple of cerepients. I was like, Absolutely. I would love that. We should do that. But it was those things in those conversations that led us to to that, to going. And I remember specifically one session because we would do joint and we would do separate. And in my separate sessions, I was doing inner child work. I was sobbing with her. I felt like I was making leaps and bounds. And he even said, oh, we went to couples therapy, and our relationship got so much better. It's like, well, duh.

It's almost like a little counterintuitive It's impressive that if he actually had the intention of ending it with you, why the fuck are you going to couples therapy?

I remember even saying after one of them, I was like, okay, so there was a session where it got really intense. It felt like maybe we were ending. And at the end of the session, she was like, okay, so is this a breakup? And he was like, no. So that's where it's like, I don't know.

Do you mind sharing? When When you guys are fighting, because obviously you're not fighting about the affair, what were your issues in the relationship?

My issue is that I felt like he was not choosing me over random nights out or that he just wasn't coming home. He would want to just be at Schwartz's for no reason.

Well, now you're fucking out.

Just having beers and whatever or coming home. And then I'd wake up and I'd be like, Where are you? And I would go down. He's just downstairs sharess, smoking cigarettes, and probably. But you know what I mean? It was just the absentee boyfriend. And I have to do this for work. It was just everything was coming before me and before in a relationship. And I felt like, and I needed that connection and all that stuff in order to be physically intimate. And I knew that physical intimacy was something that he was saying he was lacking. So I'm like, I don't know how I can meet you where you need to be when I'm not being met where I need to be. How do we figure this out?

It's almost like you both couldn't... It was a circle. It's like, no, but come home earlier. He's like, no, but I'm miserable because we don't have sex. But we need to hang out in order to have sex. And it just like...

What I said on the show, I was like, I can't tell Port your dick into my vagina from the bar. Because if you're at the bar and I'm at home, I'm here. Maybe I'm ready and you're just not there. So how do we do this?

We can't actually physically do this if you're never present.

Exactly. So Tom did mention on that Howie Mandel podcast, things did shift.

You started to make an effort. What did you making an effort in his mind do you think look like?

I think I just was doing my best to be present and going out with him more and trying to be more fun party time gal. I was just trying to be, I don't know, fun and hot. I don't know. Right.

Dude. And how the fuck did you feel when you were doing that?

I mean, part of me was just like, I mean, this is fine. Because, again, I was still doing that inner child work, and I felt like that was really helping me just be like, I love myself, and I'm doing... I mean, that really changed the game for me.

When you say doing inner child work, obviously share what you're comfortable with, but what was something that you were really struggling with that was clearly you felt bleeding into your relationship that you were like, I'm going to work on this shit because I want to be whole and good with myself?

I think this sense of perfectionism because I love my dad, but my dad also didn't come home after work and stuff. And I was always straight A student, super overachiever. And I think going back and looking at it, a lot of times I did those things, maybe because I wanted people to be like, I'll be there. So I thought if I could be the perfect girlfriend or the perfect girl, that they'll come home. They'll want to be around me, and I'll be enough. I won't have to be me tap dancing, doing shrooms and hang gliding. I can just be me, and that will be enough.

Isn't it so fucked when you get into therapy also? You're like, oh, my God. Is it this obvious of I'm dating a version of my dad? Or I'm dating... You're like, How did this happen? My dad didn't come home. Tom's never fucking home.

I hate to speak ill of my... I love my dad. He's a great person in so many ways, but he would sometimes just be like, Okay, where there's a random dive bar down the street, I'd go do that instead of coming home and helping with homework.

But it also makes sense, Ariana, because weirdly, we are attracted to things that are familiar to us. So it's like, if that is what you were growing up with, weirdly, you're like, oh, I fucking got this with Tom. I know how to deal with this. I know how to- I can do it the right...

Oh, I can do it right this time. I can do it all over again, essentially.

And be better. And be better. Actually, he'll Come home. Watch. And then it's like, actually, you deserve so much better than that.

That's actually not on me. It's on them.

No. You want someone that actually wants to come home, and you don't have to beg them to be like, Come on, show up. Be there. Right. You said that you hadn't considered ending the relationship before all this came out? Were you truly happy in this relationship?

I don't know. I think I was a version of happy that I thought was, I don't know, what I wanted. And I also felt like the bones of the relationship were good. And I felt as though the potential for the relationship to be just incredible was there. And I think it was the potential and the, okay, if we can make it through this time. The Fred Again song, We Lost Dance. I literally the night that Tom or that Schwartz and Sandy's had their last opening thing, I was driving Tom home, and I was like, just listen to the words of this song. And in the song, when I think it's a blessing, Madonna says, If I can make it through this next six months, what comes next will be marvelous. And I literally was like, If you can get through this, if we can get through this opening of this bar and whatever, what comes next for us will be marvelous. And I just cannot believe that he had already been having... At that point, he was already... I don't know.

It must be such a mindfuck where you're like... Which I also want because I know I've done it, too, where I remember when I was getting cheated on and I didn't know it at the time and you're making such an effort. You're like, I feel so fucking stupid. How dare... And it's like, no, no, no, you're not stupid. You were trusting the person you were in love with. And so it's like, you also have to wrap your head around like, this wasn't your fault. But it's also crazy now that you remember these details of you putting in so much fucking work and be like, We got this, Tom. My only question, though, is nine years, now, when you look back because you're like, Oh, my gosh. I was obsessed with the potential. I really wanted the... Nine years in, if you're still fantasizing about the potential of what a relationship could be, do you now have any ability to look and be like, Hmm, if I didn't... You know what I mean? Or did you feel it in the first couple of years and then it dropped off? Was it always like this?

I feel like things would... They would wax and wane. They would be ebbs and flows. And I feel like we would have so many amazing times. So then if there was a couple of weeks that were not great, or if I was unsure about something, there was so much other stuff that was great. Or we would be laughing hysterically about something, or that it was almost like, I think It's hard to say, Oh, this person is not right for me, because I also had never been in a relationship that long before. So it's hard to know, what is it supposed to be like? Because past, I think my My longest adult relationship, previous to that was, I think, three years or so. So it's past that point, this is uncharded territory. Got it. And I'm thinking, this is what it is. When you're with someone for nine years, when you're with someone for maybe potentially 10, 20. Right.

Like a fucking decade, decade.

Things are going to be hard sometimes.

I get that. I actually think that's really relatable of you try to see the good because there It is good. But when it's ebbing and flowing, you have to be like, we just have to stay strong through the hard times. We just have to make it through this.

Because people say that. We've been together for 50 years. You have never cheated. They're the greatest love story of all time. And you think like, okay, yeah, they said that we had some hard times. Sometimes you have a year that's hard. And especially this past year, I went through a lot, and I felt like, okay. And he was going... I felt like we were both on our own going through the these things. And so I thought, we'll get through this together because I'm committed to this man. But he didn't- He had a full other relationship going on.

Right. This season, we found out a lot about your relationship. You had talked about how at times you would go through his phone and he was open with you and he would hand it to you. Or then we found out on Watch What Happens Live, you were like, I have the iPad password. You fucking idiot. They're always so stupid. And Tom mentioned you guys were only having sex four times a year, and you were living pretty separate lives. Were you lonely?

Yeah, but no, because I had my best friend. So he would be so jealous of me hanging out with my best friend, Logan. And he would be like, I feel like a third wheel when I go out with you guys. And I'm like, well, because you go outside and you are on the phone. And so it's like, I don't want that for you. So I filled that absence of him not coming home and not wanting to do the same things that we wanted to do. I filled that absence with the most incredible people I know, which are my friends.

Which is like, such also a beautiful thing that you had great friends, but also clearly a deflector of instead of being like, why are we never hanging out? I'm just going to hang out with my friends, which is great. We love your friends.

Because he was going and doing that. And It was just like... But honestly, though, the separate lives comment, to me, is just so not true. I mean, to some degree, maybe, yeah. But when you're saying, I have to work. I'm trying to open this bar. And, I have to go to dinner with Schwartz and Brett because we have to talk about the bar. And then, I thought you were going to be home right after dinner. It's twelve. What are you doing? Oh, we just went to get drinks next door at Bird's. Things like that. And it's like, okay, well. But then If I, again, my camera roll and his camera roll because I have it. If you look at it, we're going to concert. We're going on dinner dates. There is effort being made somewhere of... It just felt like it just wasn't enough.

No, I got it. You obviously mentioned you went through a rough year. You lost your grandmother, you lost your dog. I'm so sorry. How were you mentally grieving during that time? And what was your relationship with Tom when you were grieving? Because I know you've been open about when you lost your dad, Tom was there. He was like your rock. He was in it with you. He was the person for you. And this time around was very different. Were you concerned at all, or were you just full grieving? You didn't even give a fucking pay attention.

Yeah, I was full grieving because My concern... Well, with Charlotte, my dog, he was there with me. He held her as we said goodbye. We literally said goodbye to her together. And then we went home, and I put on my comfort movie, which is Love, Actually. And we drink wine, and we laid on the couch together and just mourned together. And so I thought we were fully on the same page there. I also know that When it comes to... It was the summer, we do have to... We have to film. We have to go do stuff. We can't just... We can't stay at home forever. And so a lot of times it would be like, okay, well, I'm going to go film this. Boys Night or this or that. And I was like, go do it because this is what we do. Yeah, it's a good career. And maybe I'm not ready for that yet, but you go do it. Exactly. And so I definitely had no idea that he would betray me during that time because I thought he was also grieving. When it came to my grandma, I was so concerned with my mom.

So I flew home to my mom, and then I flew back, filmed the rest of the season, which was like one week left. And then I flew back again to Florida and was there for like two weeks. It was during the Hurricane Ian and everything. And I just extended my stay beyond the service and everything. And my concern was really just my family.

When you were grieving your grandmother, isn't that when Tom and Raquel, apparently, were at your house or something having sex, potentially?

Potentially.

Potentially.

I mean, he has maintained that that's not the case, but I don't trust what he says. Of course. They FaceTimed me The three of them, they FaceTime me that next morning before any filming or whatever. So I was already aware that she had stayed the night because it was like, Hey, good morning. Yeah, I stayed the night. It was just no big deal.

Is Is that one of the most painful things for you, aside from the actual fact that they were having an affair? The casualness of just like, Hey, girl, we're going to FaceTime you together, and they're your best friends. So you're like, Hey, guys. And they literally just fucked?

It's the duplicitousness. It's the solicitiveness. It's the backstabbing. It's less about an affair. You know what I'm saying? It's so layered, and it's just really bizarre as well. I can't wrap my head around doing doing that.

It's really twisted and sick.

It is, actually.

Tom claimed he tried to break up with you multiple times, and your response would be, I'm not going to let you leave. You're going to have force me.

There was only one. Okay, so we tried. He's talking about those conversations that we filmed. So the one in the Brown and White, and then I don't know if that looked like an attempt to break up to you. No. It didn't It didn't look like it to me. And then there was another scene that didn't make it to air that was pretty much along the same lines. And that was where we decided we were actually going to go to a couple of therapy or whatever. And then that was in September. And then we had literally all the way up until Valentine's Day. I'm like, January? No. Valentine's Day is in February. So I'm like, What day is Valentine's Day?

Where are we?

What's happening? Valentine's Day, he got me flowers. We went to Schwartz and Sandy's. He pulled out a bottle of wine from our first trip we ever took together. So obviously, also after we had celebrated our nine-year anniversary at Mousseau and Franks on January first, we went We had our anniversary dinner. Happy anniversary. Like, great night. We were having sex in January multiple times. So also to confirm to everyone that's not following all this drama.

It's Tom really honed in, being like, I was really trying to break up with her.

I was trying- But you're sleeping in my bed and buying me flowers, and we're going on an anniversary dinner and going to couples therapy and all of that. So the Valentine's Day thing that he has referenced. Again, got me flowers. We went to Schwartz and Sandy's for dinner, brought a super special bottle of wine that was special to us. I got dressed up. I put little hearts on my face. He was like, You look so cute. We went out for drinks later. Rachel showed up, as did a few of our other friends. And then we went home And we started kissing, and he was like, I have to stop you. And then that's when we had this breakup conversation. Then at the end of that conversation, that was hours long. And the end of that conversation was, All right, Well, let's continue this conversation. When he was saying things in that conversation, I think I'm having a midlife crisis. And I'm like, Absolutely. And I said, If we break up, I'm probably going to quit the show. I will probably leave Los Angeles. I will probably deactivate my Instagram. And he found that to be very offensive.

He was saying, I don't know. I was never saying that I was going to kill myself. I was saying that my life, this life, will be over for me because I will go do something else. I've been fantasizing about moving to the French countryside since I was a fucking child. And honestly, to be fair, in the conversation, it was quite tearful. It was definitely not a positive conversation. But I'm not talking about physically harming myself. And given the fact that we had that conversation over many, many, many hours, he knows that that's not what I was saying. It's not just one comment, and then we stopped talking. So the fact that I feel like so many things that I've said, not just in confidence, it's just me and him. We could sit here and war of words all we want. It's my word against his word, right? Okay, that's fair. But at the same time, it's like, knowing me and knowing the conversation and knowing the conversations we had in the days after that, where you were still sleeping in my bed, and we were still going to concert. We went to a concert on February 19th, and there's videos that he has of me like, dancing in the living room.

So it's like, okay, so why are you sleeping in the bed? Why are we continuing to hang out? Why do we have any relationship? If to you now you're going to go on a podcast and say, Ariana knew we were broken up. It's just like, In my opinion, I was like, you know what? I feel great about us having this open. It was really a rough conversation. It ended with, let's keep talking about this. The next couple of days, we had more conversations. I said, you are going to have to. If you think this is over, you will have to be the one to end it because I'm committed. I'm actually thinking that this is the potential for us to be great because we're talking about stuff now that we haven't talked about yet. We've never really gotten this far down this road before. So yes, if you want it to be, if this is over to you, you are going to have to do this. You're going to have to leave. That's not crazy. We don't have to mutually agree upon the breakup. You know what I'm saying?

Not only is it not crazy, Ariana, that was going to be my next question. I think the whole world watching it when Tom looked at Sheena and was like, I can't break up with her because she's threatened to kill herself. First of all, my problem with that, even if you had said that, which I appreciate you clarifying, but again, you didn't need to because it's like, number one, that's a huge fucking allegation to make about someone's mental health and to just casually say on a show when that's not the truth or it was the truth. Shut the fuck up.

And I have dealt with suicidal ideation before, and I have been in very, very deep, dark places before. So to then be flippant about it, as if that's also something about me that makes me deserve to be treated poorly is pretty awful, I think.

I couldn't agree more. I also am like, when you saw that clip, how did you feel?

I mean, it made me angry, obviously. And then what Sheena said was like, such a great thing. Even if that was exactly word for word what I had said, which no. But if it was, why did you do absolutely nothing to help at all? Why didn't you call my mom, my brother, my friends?

Instead, you fucked my best friend. Tom knows you have shared that you have struggled with your mental health. I have, yes. He has clearly been next to you while you're going through things.

And purported to be my supporter and my partner in that.

Why, if you were going to break up, why do you think you would leave everything and move? Well, now you did break up. You're not going to do that, right? Are we going to the French countryside? Where are we going?

Where are we going? Where are we going? I'm down.

But when you said that to him, you really were like, I'm out.

Because I didn't want to do all of this on my own or without him. And I didn't want to be like, All right, I guess I'll move into an apartment in Studio City. I just was like, that's not what I want. And I was like, if this is going to change my life dramatically, not being in that relationship, then I want to change it dramatically.

I get what you're saying. I also appreciate, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, randomly, sometimes when you have the worst fights of your life with your partner, it does feel like you can see the light at the end of the tunnel because you're like, We have never been this candid. We have not spoken in this way. So almost it allows for a dialog where you're like, weirdly, we went backwards to go forward.

We're having progress. That is literally where I was at. I was literally where I was at. Because I'm also thinking to myself, a nine-year relationship is not a relationship that ends with a drunken Valentine's Day. But by the way, we were wasted when we got home that night. So I'm like, you don't just have one wasted conversation.

And end a nine-year relationship.

Right. But to him, he was clearly... And obviously in that conversation, there was nothing brought up about him having an affair with anyone. So it's almost like the whole thing, the whole thing was nonsense. And I remember asking him, I was like, why did you get me flowers if you were like, I'm going to break up with her? And he was like, well, I wanted to get you flowers. I was like, oh, my God.

It really feels like he really wanted to have both.

I think so. I think he was very committed to the double life.

I agree. Because do you actually believe he was going to end it before the reunion?

I don't know. Honestly, it's hard to know. I do think that I've seen some things. I've learned some things even after filming the reunion.

Tell us. Come on. Give us the T.

One of those things is a text message message from Rachel to Tom saying, I just talked to a mutual friend, I won't name them. And they said that you should be honest with Ariana, maybe not so much about all the details, like sleeping in the house together, but that she deserves to know about this. And then it's like, I love you. You got this.

So kind. Just so generous.

So I think it was only in that last little bit there, right before I found out that it was being workshopped.

Right. That's when I saw that they were like, We were going to do it before the reunion because we could never sit in front of her and let her defend. I'm like, Bro, that's what you've been doing. You've been sitting in front of her and letting her defend you and Raquel and everyone. It's like, why would the reunion be any fucking different?

Right.

Oh my God. I hate this shit. Okay. Throughout this season, there were numerous comments from cast mates about the dynamic of your guys' relationship. Again, before the affair came out. In January, you had to set the record straight that you and Tom were not in an open relationship. Why do you now, with all the information, why do you think that rumor started?

Honestly, I think it came from him. I think that, which it's been denied, I'll say that, But I think that... So it came out that day that everyone was at my house that you see on the show. I mean, obviously, these conversations that are two minutes on the show are like two hours plus. And sometimes there are things that are said that are way worse than what is on. We're like, Bravo, give it to us. What the fuck? Our conversation, there were things that were way worse. And then in that conversation with all my friends, I think it was Sheena was like, so one of our friends, back when this stuff started coming out and rumors were rumbling, it was apparently Rachel told a mutual friend that she thought me and Tom were in an open relationship because apparently he told her that at one point. And And then when that got brought up, he was like, Absolutely not. I never said that. And I was like, Well, you should probably take that up with your little fucking girlfriend because she's the one who told that to someone else. And you know what she said to that someone else?

She said, even if that... She's like, I mean, I don't know if that's true, but I would way rather hook up with Ariana than Tom. And I think she said that because she was talking to a guy and she thought it was hot to say that. And so when Tom was I never said that, but I'm like, Well, don't ask me. I'm not the one. That's information that's being brought to me that she apparently said.

It's... Weirdly, I do think in a strange way, that is helpful to know Because that narrative, now knowing what we know, it's like that didn't get put out into the world by no happen. It's not like everyone's like, Sheena and Brock are in an open. And it's like, you know what I mean? It's like now knowing- There's a kernel of something something that was planted somewhere that turned into something else. Right. Like, someone fucking knew it was an open relationship, but it was one fucking side.

There's one person because the other person is absolutely not.

I would have loved to have known. I would have been like, Let me know so I can... You would have loved to known many times earlier. So you're like, Oh, let me get on the same page. You're fucking Raquel. Got it. I'm out. He was operating, telling people that probably so that it wouldn't get back to you because it's an unsaid thing.

Because then people go, Oh, Bill, then they must have some trust, some rule. And so I'm not going to bring it up to her. I mean, that sounds fairly likely to me.

Absolutely. Katie at one point said something along the lines of, Ariana doesn't care. She just cares when people talk about it, and she doesn't want to look dumb. Comments like that insinuating you and Tom had a different relationship and understanding off camera than on camera. And those comments were pretty heavy throughout the season of like, they've got this on the side that no one talks about. I remember Lala went on a podcast and was like, they are the most different off camera. How does that sit with you?

I mean, to be honest, and I do love Katie and I do love Lala, but those were people who are not really in our inner circle whatsoever for the last many years. And I don't think anyone within our inner circle would ever say anything like that. If you were to interview Logan or Brad or even Sheena, they would not say that. And those are people that we spent a lot of time together with, went on trips with, things like that. So I mean, I get to them. Maybe they think that that's fine, but they were not in our inner circle.

Prior to this scandal, there had been other rumors of Tom cheating with other women, and it was disclosed in the finale that you did know about one of them in Miami. You guys weren't official. You talked about that. Now, knowing who Tom really is, how many people do you think?

I don't know. There was one years and years ago that I got a DM that was Tom hooked up with my friend in San Diego. And I was like, and I brought it up over and over and over and over again because I was like, I'm drilling. I'm drilling. And it was like, no, absolutely not. No, no, no. You know what I mean? It was really just a no. That now I'm like, no, I think that was a yes. And then there's specifically the one that he said, Oh, yeah, there was one other time. I'm 99.9% sure I know exactly who that is also. But that being said, how many? I don't know because it's like... I don't know. Because I feel like he was so... I mean, there was stuff that he was getting away with that I learned about within the last A month?

What?

Like bringing Rachel home to St. Louis.

When did he do that?

Apparently more than once.

While you were dating? Yeah. So his family knew?

It's hard to say what exactly they knew or when they knew. I think at one point they knew, but they were definitely not condoning. And he was putting her up in a hotel.

How diabolical to bring your side chick to your home. And were they not afraid of paparazzi? What?

I mean, it's St. Louis. I don't know. I don't know. Do they have those there? But you know what? That being said, there were some rumblings even before I knew whether or not that was true. There were rumblings about on the Internet, so definitely somebody had seen something at some point.

Okay. What do you think about the Billy Lee situation?

I I do not think that anything happened there. You don't. I don't. And the reason I don't is because... I mean, Billy Lee... Okay. I understand that this sounds crazy because Raquel was someone I loved and... You know what I'm saying? Right. You're like, but. But I do really... I trust that Billy Lee would not do that.

Have you asked?

She has. We've talked about it. Okay. Yeah. Based on people saying things online, she's been... Yeah. Right.

Has anyone reached out to you since to be like, I also hooked up with him?

They have not. I haven't had anyone do that. Okay.

That's good for your mental health.

Or are they scared?

Are they scared? You'll be like, on collar daddy. Like, Yup, Brittany from fucking Australia said that. No, dude.

Honestly, I would not. If any women did do that, I would not put them on blast because honestly, at the end of the day, as much as I think that they suck for doing that because they knew we were together, it's a responsibility, in my opinion, of the person in a relationship.

I also think, weirdly, now knowing the drama of the open relationship rumor he may have been putting out. Sure. I've always said, men, when they want to put their penis in something, they will say... A married man will be like, No, we're in the middle of a divorce. Later, he goes home to his wife. They will say- You'll be like, She, sadly, she passed.

Yeah, she passed her. She passed away.

I've seen that.

I've seen that. I've seen that.

No, literally. She's not hearing it. We don't even know how... It's already so diabolical how crazy it's gotten that it wouldn't be surprising if every room he walked into in order to get a girl, it was like, We're on a break. It's a word. It's I fucking hate men. Okay. Being completely honest with yourself, do you think you ever subconsciously turn turned a blind eye.

Yes. Yeah. But I think I was given a lot of assistance in doing that because I would bring things up and I would be shot down. And Or again, with the, Oh, let me see your phone. I think that I was given a lot of assistance in that. You know what I mean? And he even said on the show, Well, she didn't follow me. It's like, How much effort should I be putting forth in a relationship? Should I be stalking my partner in order to know for sure what they're doing?

I get what you're saying, and I think also to women listening, we talked about you going through his phone and there are no texts. So it's like, at what point you have to just trust your partner because then you start to actually feel crazy of like, Am I being just so untrusting?

Right. And you're like, Am I just a fucking bitch? Because now I'm being that person that's just so like, so what? Am I their mom now that's going to be like, every time they come home, am I going to be like, All right, let me see your phone. That whole thing.

And then you start to feel like the psycho, and they become the more normal one. That's like, You're so crazy.

Well, and then they get to use that against you later on. So it's like, you're either not psycho enough to not figure it out, or you're too psycho, and they're like, now I'm going to break... Exactly.

They're like, you're so crazy. Here's my phone. Look. And it's like, well, then open the iPad if he didn't delete those messages. Were his messages connected to his iPad? No.

And you know why? Because at one point they were, and it was just like, we just get so many, and it would just be dinging, dinging, dinging. So it was like, We got to turn that off. This was years and years ago. It was just the amount that set... I know. But the Find My iPhone app, I could see where the devices all were located. And they were always located somewhere that they should be, the band rehearsal space or Schwartz's apartment.

How much of the affair do you think happened at Schwartz's house?

I think more than Schwartz is willing to you let on because the recording was at Schwartz's, and he apparently felt real uncomfortable there. Yeah. In that sad, sad apartment.

In that sad, sad location. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking gross. Yeah. You touched on this a little bit earlier, but do you think you were so quick to defend Tom? Not just this. Through seasons, you've always had his back. You've always been ride or die. And I think so many people, including myself, respected you for always being like, I'm going to stand by my fucking partner. But do you think that you would be so quick to defend him so that people wouldn't think less of him or so that people wouldn't think less of you for being with him?

Both. Yeah. Definitely both. Because I didn't want people... I always saw a side of him that I felt wasn't apparent on the show or on social media or whatever. I always felt like I saw a side of him that was the home side. And so I always felt like if people could just see that part of him, they would get it. And then in turn, for people to think less of me, I don't want them to be like, Oh, this girl sucks at picking guys to date. Although, I mean... No.

We're leveling up, Ariana. Okay, I've seen. It's getting better. I've seen. It's gotten a lot better. When you look back on your time together, are you able to see any good or has what he's done completely tainted him and as the human he is?

I don't think I'm there yet. Although some of these edits on TikTok that come on my For You page that have like, Ceilings, that ceiling song is playing and it's like, cute clips of... I'm like, I can't. Because I feel like, I mean, in that regard, I'm like, oh, that's maybe almost getting me there. But I feel like, I mean, he even said, oh, because I've done this, Then that negates everything else. And I was like, I mean, it does. I mean, it does. I hate to say it, but when you have an affair, you cheat like that. I do think it does make it very hard for me to look at their relationship with any level of nostalgia or maybe years from now. Yeah.

It's also, again, the level of truly lying and actually having what seemingly no remorse, almost between the two of them. You can't help but wonder. I think the whole world was like, what else has this motherfucker done over these nine years? It's like, this is the one we know about. And then, oh, there was one in Miami, and then there was one in San Diego. It's like, what else? Because he's good at fucking keeping it close to the chest, and he has no fucking issue lying to your face. No. So what else was there? I get what you're saying. It's like, that's difficult. Yeah. That's difficult.

And it also makes it feel like you look back on the relationship at times that you did think that were good, that were happy memories. And you think like, well, did They didn't really like me or respect me during those times, right? Because I don't know.

What do you miss about the relationship?

I would say inside jokes, being goof balls together. It's a fun, funny, just stupid stuff.

That comfortability of you have the same language. We know each other. There's a deleted clip from Vanderpump of you, Tom and Raquel in a hot tub in Mexico. And you say, It looks like we're in a thruple. That feels like a foreshadowing now, knowing what we know. What specific moments did you have to look back on or you look back on now that you're like, whoa, something so fucking shady was going on in that exact moment. And I didn't know. I didn't know.

That one in particular, that's the big- He's like, fingering her in the hot tub. You're like, don't even- I'm like, this is hilarious, you guys. I'm so drunk. I'm like, This is so funny. And by the way, his whole thing about like, skinny-dipping and hang gliding. I went hang gliding, and I clearly went skinny-dipping. I don't know what the hell you're fucking talking about. Anyways, there's that. There were times where we would have a bunch of people over in our house, and we have a guest bedroom, and that guest bedroom gets used a lot by a lot of our different friends, and her one of them. And we would be like, we would have friends who'd be like, Bring over the dog. So my brother would come and bring his dogs. Our friend Jessie Montana would come and bring Indio, which is my dog's best friend. And Rachel would bring Graham over, who is honestly a terror. He bit me before.

Motherlike son.

He's not a well-trained dog. He's a little jerk. But we would let it go because we're like, That's our friend's dog. And she would always I purport it to be like, oh, it's because maybe when her and James had him together, that maybe it was the way he was raised as a puppy. And I'm almost like, clearly James was not the problem. I try to move the food bowl, and he will try to bite me. He's crazy. He's very cute. But crazy. Sorry, it's not his fault.

It's not his fault. Right. The owner's fault. Train your dog.

Yeah. Anyways, we would have people that would come over, stay in the guest room, stay on our couches. It's a very normal thing. And sometimes I'd be like, All right, well, it's like two. I want to go to bed. Can we turn the music off? My poor neighbor has so many times been like, hey. And I'm like, I'm not even down there anymore. I have to go down there and be the person. It's like, Can you please? And it just was so annoying. And there were times where I would go up to bed or whatever because it's late and I have a life and a career and responsibilities. 28-year-old failed pageant queens don't. And so they'd be able to stay up super late and hang and have no reason to get up the next morning. And that's fine if you weren't fucking my boyfriend also at the same time. And there were times like that where if I could go back and be like, what's going on? Things like that.

Do you think they ever had sex while you were upstairs?

Yes, I do. I think they had sex in my guest room while I was sleeping in my own bed, that he and I went to bed in together, and then he left the bed and went to the guest room and fucked her. Yes, I believe that.

God bless you. God bless I'm not going to lie to you. Ariana. That's like Trust Issues. Fuck him. Because how do you even begin to trust someone after that level of nine years with someone, and they're that fucking comfortable in the home that you co-own. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And when people say Tom's house, I'm like, Excuse me. It's my house. We own that house equally, so I don't ever want to hear that.

In one episode, you said, Raquel is kind, sweet, and loyal, and has just been a delight since the day I met her. How would you How would you describe her now?

Oh, my God. Lost. Lost. I mean, I don't know her. I realize now I never knew her, but I certainly don't know her now, and I don't know anyone who does know her. And so It's hard to say, but based on what I've seen, lost and empty and just... I don't know.

Yeah, I think a lot- It's hard to say because it's like, I don't really know what's going on.

Some of the behavior has at times seems sociopathic, but at the same time, I'm not really sure what is the real deal.

Yeah. It just sucks that you were in the middle of something, that someone that has clearly no remorse was involved in the destruction of also your relationship.

Sure. And I, at the time, I kept telling her, it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to like, fuck.

You were so nice to her, Ariana. Do Raquel and make sense together to you?

No. I mean, unless he has changed everything that he has ever said that he's looking for in someone, then no.

How did you feel watching them on screen together in Raquel's apartment? That was the first time we all see them able to romantically interact with her like, Oh, my gosh, this is so weird. We can't kiss on camera together. How did it feel watching your partner of nine years? Just literally the day before, I think it was look at you being like, I'm going to her place. Yeah, I'm going. Also, just so shame.

And by the way, after he filmed that scene with her, he came back to my house. And it was essentially... I mean, you saw how many flowers were there. So there were probably 15 people there. I still had not slept, still not eaten. My friend Janet got all kinds of... She was making French onion soup to check because that's my favorite. And that's what she loved hers. Oh, that's my favorite too. So she's making French soup. Our friends had all brought over wine, and we were just watching Drag Race. It was essentially a funeral, right? Because these were all also people who were friends with him and were friends with her. And they were like, We've lost these friends because we cannot in good conscience, we've lost them as well because we don't want to... There's no way. I can imagine. If he's willing to do that to me, is he willing to do to you?

Exactly.

Diabolical. I can understand. And so he walked in the house after filming that scene, yelled at everybody. This is his house, too. He referred to it as a party, that I was having a party. I went to bed. It was like 9:00 PM. I finally fell asleep on the couch. He went upstairs. Kristen and another one of our mutual friends, Courtney, had to be like, You should probably go. Why are you here? And then eventually, he left, and there were paparazzi shots of him going back to her apartment after. So he came back to the house, yelled at everybody to get out of his house and blah, blah, blah. And then we find out later on, he was definitely tuning into the cameras in the house to watch. We were doing literally nothing.

You called it party. We were having a funeral. Thank you. Exactly. You're done. Bye.

But that's This scene was very cringe on so many levels. And I think it was that scene and that conversation that I watched that made me when you asked me, Did they make sense to you? I was like, no.

It was awkward.

Yeah.

The whole thing of her being like, I I love you. And he was like, No, I said, They love you, but I love you, too. How did you also feel knowing that they said to each other that they love each other?

I knew that before watching it, that that was where they're at. Yeah, but it was cringe.

Do you think Tom misses you?

Yeah, I do.

Do you know that? Has anything been said? No. You just know.

I just feel like as someone that he would go to for advice on mostly everything up until that moment, or I just think that there's no way that he doesn't because he's been making a lot of very questionable decisions over the last two months, and he doesn't have that sounding board or that advisor anymore.

What is the extent of an apology that you've received from each of them at this point?

Yours was like a nothing. Hers was a text message that was very like, I just don't know what to say, except that I'm sorry. That was it. That was that day. It was March third that I got that one. That was that night I went to a concert to see Tovla. Hello. My friends were like, Let's get you out of the house. Let's go just do something fun, and then we'll go back and we'll heal. And then at the reunion, it was very subpar. It was like a rehearsal speech, and I was just like, Shut the fuck up.

It's like someone told you to say these exact lines. Exactly. Nothing is inside here.

Yeah, nothing had clicked. I didn't feel like it was genuine.

Also, that text message, you're like, That is the text messages you send when you were a bitch the night before because we were drunk and you said some things. You're like, I'm really sorry. I don't know what to say. I'm embarrassed. You had an almost year affair with my boyfriend. Maybe you should send multiple pages of an explanation. Okay, and what about Tom?

Well, obviously, you saw how... Well, I told you how that night went. The next day, not much better. And then that scene that you saw, which was 2 hours. And there was a lot of way worse things that he said.

What? What is he saying?

At one point, he was like, Oh, well, I'll keep taking care of the house. I always do.

What is his obsession with the batteries and the fucking toilet paper? He's like, I take care of this house.

He has an assistant. She goes and gets the... He says, Hey, we need this. And she goes and gets it.

It's not bending over backwards. I literally saw a TikTok of a girl being like, How did not get cheated on 101? And she's stalking the house with batteries and toilet paper. I'm like, If only Ariana had stalked the toilet paper, maybe. He acted And I was like, that was a huge point of contention and why he cheated. He's like, She would never stalk the house. Ariana didn't do these things. And you're like, Bro.

I noticed, yeah. Over the last two months, I've noticed there was one day I was I think I was shooting spawn con downstairs at one point. And all of a sudden, he's like, ask his assistant, does she know where the ladder is? And it was by me. So she brought it. And he's like, I'm going to change the filter on the air conditioner. I'm like, what? You wouldn't do that now? Because now you have this thing you have to uphold that you do all these things.

I am the man of the house. It's like, chill.

Yeah.

It's so cringe. Would you go back and change anything you did?

Honestly, I I'm not going to say no, because I feel like... Listen, I've seen people online be like, She wasn't perfect. Well, obviously. Who is? I'm a fucking person. She's not innocent. Okay, I don't have to be. I was very much a committed partner in this relationship. Warts and all. I was very much committed, and I feel like I was doing my absolute best as a partner. But But I don't think I would do anything differently just because I feel like all I can do is my best, and whether my best was good enough or not for anyone, that's what it was. And I feel like, yeah, I could have been less trusting. I could have been more paranoid, or I could have followed, or I could have bought pens and batteries, or whatever. But ultimately, I think that if I to go back and try to change all the things that I would have, could have, should have. I mean, I would never stop.

Do you think that had you not caught him, do you think you guys would still be together?

It's hard to say in this moment because there was a plan. Still together, I almost think no, given that I know about this plan now.

Can you explain what the plan was to people?

The plan was, I think, to end the relationship under the guise of that Valentine's Day conversation. For that to eventually stick. Eventually, that was the end game, to break up with me without any mention of any affair or cheating or anything, whether that was pre-reunion or not or pre-going to film Winterhouse or not, and then go about whatever, and then they would just start dating. But the narrative that he was the victim in our relationship or that I just suck would have already been planted. I think that was part of a master plan.

Yeah. It's a little wild to see how much he was working it towards the end there. You guys weren't really in this season that much. And then to watch halfway through, or even a little bit farther than halfway through, he just is coming out of the woodwork complaining to Tom, Oh, my gosh, we're not connecting. We don't have sex. I don't know. It is pretty diabolical now that you watch it. Like, Oh, this was a whole plan. Set the stage. I'm not happy. We don't have sex. We don't connect. And then end it. And then all he thought was going to work perfectly. And thank It's fucking God it didn't because it's disgusting.

No, I'm actually like, there was at one point, I think it's him or Schwartz had said to me at one point, I'm so sorry that you found out this way. And I was like, I'm so glad that I found out this way, because if I had found out the way that you all had planned, are you kidding? I would have been just a cog in the machine of this whole narrative, this whole thing.

Do you ever think back to that night with the phone and you're like, thank God?

Yeah. And I also think, what was it? It felt like a beam. I hate to say a lightning Bolt. No, literally. But it really, truly felt like a lightning bolt of do this right now. And it's like, I don't know. That's why I say it felt like some divine intervention. And And I'm not really believe in God. I'm not a religious person by any means. There was something that just went like something went off. And it's so weird because I don't know how to describe it because so many other times I could He even asked me that, and he was like, Why didn't you go through my phone when I was sleeping or whatever? And I'm like, Because I just didn't ever want to do that and be sneaky like that. I don't want to be sneaky, and that makes me feel sneaky.

But, yeah. Thank God. A woman's intuition is never wrong. What have you now uncovered that repulses you about this whole situation?

The flying her to different places. I know that she was... That... I'll watch what happens live appearance where Schwartz was covering his mouth and acting all weird. It's because she was in the hotel room. She was there in New York. I know for a fact. He was using other people's credit cards and things to basically making them pay for things and then Venmoing them later. So it was just really messed. And you know what? Honestly, it makes me really upset because I feel like he put people in a position that they felt like they didn't know what to do. And I feel bad because I feel like I can only imagine how heavy, how much that weight on him.

This was a whole fucking operation that he started to get running, where it's like, the credit card here, have someone book her in the hood. It was like, who knows how much farther it would have gone? Sure.

And having the band and the touring and stuff like that, I feel like was a very easy way to be like, well, I have to be out of town. And then she could then be flown to wherever that show was. And I would have no idea because he's coming home exactly when he's supposed to come home. Of course, he's out late, he's playing a show. There's nothing about it. He was very good with that.

It does start to make you wonder, is this band just a whole cover for this affair? Because, objectively, I know you were in love, Ariana, but it's not great. The band's not great.

I feel like it's gotten... Well, Well, wait. Has it gotten worse?

Or did you just open your eyes? Or did I not? Can you now just unbiasedly look at it and be like, those were love goggles. And now we flicked them off and you're like, Okay, don't need to watch that anymore. Do you know if there was a night ever that you had sex with Tom the same day he had sex with Raquel?

I don't know that. I don't know that. Oh, that would be...

Yeah. Excellent. I had extra therapy sessions for that week. Yeah.

I would love to know. Would you? Well, I've already had my pain. I'm good.

Okay. Right. So now it would just be like, Oh, of course. Like an L-O-L moment. We've already gone through the worst. Now, the details just become like, oh, that's- But you see, sometimes it makes me laugh because at this point, it's like, it is so...

Again, you ask that question, and I'm like, I don't think so, but it It seems like a no. I don't know.

The reunion airs this week. How did you feel going into the reunion, and how did you feel walking out of it?

I felt going into it like It had only been, what was it? Okay, March first. We filled the reunion March 23rd. It had already felt as though it felt like there was a wall, a divider had been built somehow between the past and the present. And that feels so weird. And maybe that is, again, a compartmentalizing coping mechanism. But it also felt as though going into it, we were all on the same page. And that's never happened. So that I felt, gave not just me, but Sheena, Lala, Katie, James. We all had this vote of confidence amongst each other, and we We all knew that we were all on the same page with that. And so it felt like a boost of confidence in that way of just knowing I don't have to sit here and question whether or not I'm right or not wrong, or if Lala is right or wrong, or if James, or Sheena, or Katie is right or wrong. We know and we feel that deep in our gut, and that felt good. It was weird. I mean, honestly, that three weeks was really fucking weird. And so to go into a reunion, and I'm, A, not sitting next to him, but I'm also not...

He would say stuff, and I would be like... Because normally, I would be like, Well, what he's trying to Okay. Because he'd always almost needed a translator at times because he would have an opinion that we had talked about things at home. And so I understood where he was coming from or what he was trying to get at. But then he You would voice it and no one else could get it. So I would be like, okay, so what do you really... This is what we're... And so to be there and-Sink yourself, motherfucker.

Not my job. What was it like sitting and having to listen to Raquel?

Painful. And not painful in the sense of she hurt my feelings. Painful in the sense of I really did not feel like she was connected to the moment or reality at all. I really feel like, again, then March 23rd, that the two of them, both of them, somehow, maybe it was like they were feeding it to each other because I don't know who else would be. They thought, People are just mad. I'm a little mad at you, and we'll be fine. I think that's where both of their minds were at. And so the the gravity of what they had done or were doing or whatever, it was just not hitting at all. He was still... I mean, look, I think she just... I don't know. And I told her, I was like, I mean, I don't know why you're sorry now. You thought you were a hot shit when you were doing it, right? You thought Are you kidding?

How would you describe your emotions during the reunion?

I was angry. At times, I was sad. But I honestly think that But the biggest thing that I felt that there was a question that was asked towards the end, that I was just like, I was so grateful for my friends, both the friends that were there that day and otherwise. And I honestly, a lot of it felt numb in a way because it felt like as angry as I was, it was almost difficult to connect to... Once you go angry, agree. It's very hard to come back from that. Totally. And yeah, that's where I was, I think.

Was there anything you went into the reunion with of like, I'm making this up. I'm not going to look her in the eyes, or I'm going to make sure that I don't look him in the eyes.

No, literally, I was like, I'm not looking at either of them. I will communicate to Andy or to Lisa if I have to look in that way. Otherwise, I will speak to the- The wall. Emptiness, the sound stage. Was that your only thing? No, literally, that was me. I was like, I'm not looking at either of And then eventually a couple of times I did. But I mean, that was- Was that your main thought going in? Yeah, it was just like, I will not speak to them. I will speak. I will answer.

Right. But I'm not even addressing you.

But we're not going to- You don't deserve my...

I get It's good. Did you feel like you were able to get closure from the reunion?

Yeah, I honestly felt like I had closure before that, before the reunion. And then at the reunion, I I mean, I said what I felt like saying in the moment, but I honestly felt as though everything that happened, I think I even said it, but it didn't make it to air. But I was just like, this happening? I mean, you made it really easy for me to just not give a shit about you. Like, breakups are hard. You miss the person. You think, what could I have done? What could they have done? Are we going to get back together? You have all these things, right? When you go through a breakup. But when something like this happens, you're like, bye. There's literally nothing about that person. Even if I missed him in the first few days, even that feeling of missing him, that's not who... Whoever that is is not that person.

I feel like that's also a good bit of advice for people listening that maybe be going through something similar of like, sometimes, weirdly, the more that the person hurts you in terms of how they decide to betray you, you can find some type of hope of like, that just made it so much easier to never look back. And that is even more hurtful to the fucking person that fucked with you because it's like, it would have been like, if you fucked up a little bit and we had a fight, and then we did... He closed close that door. You didn't even have to fucking push it.

Oh, he poked it. He poked it. He poked it. He poked it. And I almost think that that was why the elaborate plan was what it was, is because then I would want to get back together, right? Of course. Or it'd I would be sad or I would be struggling.

No, it's thank God. Thank God. Was there anything specific that was really hurtful that he said to you that you can't shake still.

I think it was the way that he weaponized any struggle I've ever had with my mental health. That, to me, was the most hurtful.

Apparently, there is something so wild.

Okay.

Yeah. There's something so wild that's going to be revealed in the reunion that could potentially have you guys not want to sign back up to be on the show. Have you thought of, I know your group chat must be going off.

No, we all are just... We haven't even... Because I've talked to our showrunners and stuff, and I'm like, I think I know what the deal is, but I am not entirely I'm not entirely sure.

There's a couple of things out there. Raquel's pregnant.

I don't think so.

Affair started during James and Raquel era. Maybe. Right. But is that that crazy?

Because what difference really would that make?

We We still hate them. We still hate them. Okay. Lisa knew the whole time.

I don't think so. I have- She would have brought... Here's why. She would have brought that up.

Right. I had a feel.

Very early on. Because, again, there's a lot of speculation of things being staged and whatever. This all happening after filming, just from a logistic production standpoint. Not to mention the fact that this is my real life, and these are my real feelings, and this is something we're really going through. But for those naysayers, just from a production standpoint, something like this happening months and months after we're not filming, and there's no cameras around, and they had to borrow a crew from Housewise and Beverly Hills to even film after. That That is a nightmare for production and for our show because they want everything that's going to happen. It's like you want that to happen in real time while we're filming. Of course. Because otherwise, you lose it. It's gone. It's hearsayers. It's If something happens off camera, that's not ideal. So again, if Lisa knew, there's no way.

That's not possible. On the last one I have written down, which I think is... I mean, this would be fucking awful. Raquel hooked up with Brock.

Oh, no. I don't think so. No. No, there's no way.

What is something that could come out that would make you not want to go back to the show?

I mean, anything that makes me feel unsafe or for my dog to be unsafe. And it's something like that. It's like anything safety-wise would be, I think, the only thing that would make any of us be like, We're not coming back to film. But I mean, I can't see that. What the fuck?

I know. I guess we're going to see.

I mean, I have an idea.

Do you want tell us your theory? No. I'm like, Okay, you'll tell me off camera.

Then I really won't come back to film. Then you're literally kicked the fuck off and I get sued.

So that'd be fine. Okay, but you think you have an idea? Yeah. Is it as bad as everyone's speculating?

I don't think it's something that crazy or that wild.

It's just more drama.

Yeah, I think so. But I don't know. Because again, I haven't seen it, so I don't- I got it.

Okay, let's get happy for five seconds. Okay, yeah.

Okay, because what I- Should we have more rosé for our happiness?

Yeah, can we have a little bit? Yeah, let's pour more of your head. What I appreciate in you being really open today is, I said to you when you walked in, this is sadly really fucking relatable. I remember sitting on the bed in New York City and being like, He hasn't done anything. I just have the fucking feeling. And I looked him in the eyes, Ariana, and I said, I need you to open your iPad. And he's like, I'll give you my phone. I said, no, the iPad.

Oh, my God. So what was it on that? What was the- Fully having a sexting nude with his nutritionist.

He was a professional athlete, and he would show me his nutritionist all the time. She recommended the bison, and I'm going to eat the bison this week. Oh, right.

Because he's like, her advice is so great. And he would talk about her.

He would talk about her to me. And I remember when he opened it, she was not the first person I went to because I was like, okay.

Because you're just saying, okay, her.

But you know what's crazy? I didn't even need him to open it. The minute I asked him and I put it down in front of him, I pulled it out from my back. I said, open it. He went ghost white. I didn't even need him to open it. I was like, oh. There it is. I knew. And then I saw it. And I remember going into the bathroom, throwing up. And I think we can talk about this a little bit, which is, I wouldn't say it's like, embarrassment, but there's a level of for five Five seconds because this is also the person you love. Yeah. Your love doesn't go away the minute you see it. You hate them. But five seconds ago, I was in love with this person. There is a part of you that wants to be like, no, no, no.

There's no way. Yeah. It's not real.

It's not real. But it is.

But it is. And it's like that gut punch.

Yeah. And it's like, do you have any advice? And I'll think, too, of for someone sitting there that just found out that they were getting cheated on, how do you, many mentally wrap your brain around being in love with someone that you trusted and then the ultimate betrayal and trying to be like, I want to go have them hug me because they're usually the person that consoles me. But you also fucked me.

I would be like, look, maybe have that moment right now. Give yourself an hour to have that moment or that night, and then get away from them. Obviously, we're still in the same house, but we're most definitely in different rooms. We I know exactly when he's coming back to the house, and I know we do not cross past. That being said, as much as you can have that conversation, do what you need to do, get your ducks in a row, and then get away from them, and Don't allow them to come back into your life. Because, again, if it's somebody who is capable or talented enough of being able to create those lies and stuff, they'll They'll be able to create something to pull you back in at some point. And then- So you have to separate. You have to go no contact.

You're so right. And then also, if you go back, they're just going to be smarter next time. And that is, I I think the worst of like, there's going to be so many things that are said to you, but I also believe there's one thing if someone comes to you and tells you, and it's like, I did this. I feel disgusting. I'm sorry. When you find it, when they're apologizing, they're sorry they got caught.

Oh, Keep that in mind. If they are going to apologize, because I've had a lot of women that I've spoken to online since all of this have said, My ex was the same way. He was angry. He was yelling at me. He was pissed. And it's like, yeah, the house of cards has fallen, and they're angry about that. They're not so much remorseful or upset. It's not about how you feel. It's about the fact that all the efforts effort that went into creating this, to building that little house of cards, got blown over so fast. And now what?

And I fucking love how much you talk about your friends, because I also love how you talk about this distortion of reality. The great Esther Porel always talks about, when you get cheated on, your reality becomes so distorted, and you are wobbling, essentially. You can't see straight because You are the person I actually loved most and trusted the most in my life, and you just ripped the rug out underneath me. You have to immediately surround yourself. I know you're embarrassed. Part of you also sometimes doesn't want to tell anyone because you're like...

Because you're like, Oh, my God, now I'm that person. Or- And then if you tell people it's over. Right. Once it's out, well, it's like they always say, too, whenever if you and your partner just get in petty fights, don't tell your friends because they always say that. But it's like, in this, if It's this big of a thing. You got to do it. You got to do it, and you got to surround yourself with your friends as quickly as possible. And then that way, they can also hold you accountable and be like, Absolutely fucking not. You are not allowed. This is not happening. Then also, if you are in a situation where you do have a gaslighter or manipulator and you have a friend over, you have someone sitting right there going, No, I heard what they said. I saw how they were. It's not just you. Because that was my big thing is it was like, there was no one I was there. And so I would question- Everything. Yeah. And then my friends that were at the house, again, when he came back, are you guys here? It's like, well, thank fucking God.

See, I was like, so You guys saw that, right? My anxiety is going through. I'm like, oh, my God. But see, that's what it's been like. And they're like, okay, yes. So now we see the reality because otherwise...

And that's, again, I just think it's so important to talk through this because When you're in it, it almost becomes impossible to see straight. And you have to remember- You're too close to it. You're too fucking close. And there's no... You have to act... We just keep saying, and I always say it back to myself when I have friends that go it. You loved this person 30 seconds before you just found it. Oh my God. So that isn't gone immediately. The hurt, the anger, all of it. But you still love that person. So you need someone, and you have to remember your friends have no ulterior motives other than making sure you're good. Just catch yourself. If you're going against your friends in that moment, it's because you're trying to hold on to something and let them be the anchor to pull you the other way because they're actually just looking out for you. Yeah.

And talk to them about it. If you're sad, you miss them, or you want to talk about good times and stuff like that, talk to your friends about it. But keep that no contact. I'm telling you, I think that was the whole in my life, blah, blah, blah. A lot because I knew that I would go no contact.

I'm so proud of you.

I knew that- That's hard. That's fucking hard. But I knew even if it was just a breakup, I knew I was going to go no contact.

How did you know that?

I just felt it in my gut that that was the way to go. And in the past, I had not done that with other relationships. And then I've been on TikTok a lot the last three years, and I would see stuff about that. And I was like, okay, I think that in this situation, that's what I would have to do. And I think that that was part of what was like, oh, I don't know, the troubling to him or something.

What that you wouldn't speak to him? Yeah. What did he expect?

That we would do the shorts in Katie dog custody thing? We're not doing that.

No, you're getting the dog. Absolutely. Oh, wait, what is it, Jennifer? Cool. She's like, I'm getting the dog. I'm taking the damn dog.

Fuck you.

That's so good. Wait, so you're like, I'm fucking taking the Well, I paid for her adoption.

My name is on her adoption paper. And she loves you more. I paid her vet bills. I took her for walks. I gave her baths. See, these are all things that I would do that he wasn't doing.

He gets the batteries. You take care of the fucking dog. Dude, no, but I get what you're saying, and that's another point. When you are so strong to be like, I'm not speaking to you. This is a boundary, motherfucker. Oh, it enrages them.

Yeah, I think the setting of boundaries has Well, and you saw him at Lisa's, I don't know if it was real or not, honestly. I felt a little bit like a performance, to be honest. But then also, of course, I'm going to be jaded because I don't trust And we have to- And he had just yelled at me. And then the day after, he yelled at me again after the Rachel scene. So it was hard to say. But that being said, the biggest thing that he was upset about in that moment was that he doesn't get to have another conversation with me because I said, you don't get another one.

It's done.

Say what you need to say now because we won't be doing that. And by the way, my friend Meredith and my other friends, she's the Capricorn queen of my dreams. She made a spreadsheet that was like, who's going to be staying with me what night? I did not stay alone for weeks. And even after I went, I had friends fly in from New York to make sure I got to the wedding in Mexico that I went to. And then even after I came back from Mexico, I still had friends that would stay with me every night, make sure I ate, make sure they were like... They had their own group text. Now they've friends that didn't know each other before become friends that I've always wanted them. You guys would love each other. Right. Now they're like... Now they're better. It's honestly the community that is our friends on and off the show is the most incredible group of girls, gays, and thays. Honestly, I don't know how I could write. If I was a super talented writer, I couldn't have created that in my mind. Absolutely incredible.

And that's what I think, again, you talk about, when you're going through it, let people actually help you guys because doing it alone is torture. You can't do it alone. You can't. Or you go back to the one person you love the most, which is You're the person that hurt you.

Yeah, you think you can, and then you end up... It's just not healthy, or you end up self-medicating or doing... My classic way of coping is isolation. Or sleeping, and it's like,.

He kept bringing that up. She just sleeps all the time. I'm like, Yeah, maybe you should look in where that is your partner okay or depressed or what's going on?

Maybe her dog just died. Right.

Be there for her. What the fuck? Get in bed.

Yeah, get in bed. Get in bed. Get in bed, bitch. What the fuck? Isn't that where sex happens? Right.

You want sex so bad. She's laying in bed all day. I'm in the bed. Get the fuck in bed. I'm in the bed. She's in bed naked, waiting, go in, talk to her, emotionally connect with her, and then get in.

And then maybe... Right.

Men are so dumb. Like, what?

Now that we say it, it sounds so simple.

She's in bed all day, and you're bitching not getting fucked?

What are we missing here, Tom? It's not like I'm not in the place where it happens. Dude, okay.

Rumor on the street, is you're not single? Is this a situation, ship? Are we in a full relationship? Are we just fucking? Are we having... What are we doing? What are we doing, Ariana?

What's going on? I'm really, really enjoying myself. I am seeing someone. They live across country in New York. So obviously, there's that whole aspect to it. But I would say it's really, really great. It's good.

And you guys met where?

We met at a wedding.

When?

Like, literally 10 or 11 days after I found this out, which people are like, what?

Like, are you okay?

And I'm like, literally, I just met this person. We did not start dating when I met them. We just started talking. And then we were talking and talking and talking, and it progressed.

You had a moment to grieve. You're grieving still, but you can also fucking go see people.

And also it's really nice Okay, so I met him at this wedding, and all we did was talk. We stayed up all night just talking. That's it.

That's all you wanted.

That's literally all I wanted. I was like, quality time? What is this? And then he flew to where he lives, and I flew to where I am. And then we just FaceTime and talked. And it was just like, oh, my gosh, I'm getting to know this person. And the conversations we were having were so amazing. It's not like we met and we're dating, but it was really great. And now I've been going to New York for work. And so when I go to New York for work, I've been getting to see him. And it's so nice. We're having fun.

That's what I think also people have to understand is there's nothing wrong with any timeline post something that dramatic happens. You have to do what feels right. And so people that are like, oh, my God, it's so soon, Ariana. Well, then you do.

If I was down on one knee proposing to this man. Then we'd be having intervention right now. We need to reel it in. But luckily for New York, being able to go every couple of weeks, just this last month, and just work, see Me and my friends see him and just really love life. And honestly, having someone that literally will be like, we'll be on the phone and he'll be like, we're working, we're doing stuff. And he's like, hey, can we just get five minutes where we just have quality time on the phone. I'm like, are you kidding me?

My dream in the past nine years.

So I'm like, okay, great. This is just great.

Okay, give all the ladies advice voice of nine years is a long motherfucking time. How do you not overthink it and allow yourself to be with someone that's not the person you've been with for nine years? It's a little bit of a mindfuck to be open to getting back out there.

Just open into anything. I think, honestly, if you are overth it, be honest with yourself that you're overthinking it. And just say, I'm overthinking this, or this is where I'm at, be honest. I think that honesty and vulnerability, it's two of the sexiest things, I think, in any person. And even if you're just going out on a bunch of casual dates with multiple people, be honest with those people. And if they're not down for it, then they're not for you anyways. And honestly, just being honest with yourself, too, and saying, This is where I'm at. This is what I'm ready for, this is what I'm not ready for. Because the day that I met the sky, I literally said, this is what I can handle. I can handle us talking. I can handle you telling me I'm pretty. I can maybe handle a smooch. But beyond that, that's it. And he was very enthusiastically like, okay, great. That sounds great. I just want to hang out. So I was like, Okay, cool. Maybe just be very clear about your boundaries and what you're okay with.

It's like, you don't have to go in and be like, So I have to be a fully... It's like, Hey.

And honestly, accepting happiness and good things while you're healing, there's no... No. Nothing bad about that.

There is nothing. People that are judging are also just like, either you haven't been through it or you went through it and you did something different that didn't work for you and you're trying to judge. Let everyone do what they want to do.

Because we're all different people, and we all are in different situations. And again, like I said, we were saying that someone does some shit like this to you, that door is slammed shut. It is way easier to grieve a relationship that is that cut and dry, then it is one that isn't.

I can't believe it. I just remembered you said his family didn't reach out to you. Have they still not reached out to Tom? No. It's weird, no?

I mean, I understand what would they say. I guess I would just think they'd be like, Hey, this sucks.

Like wishing you the best. Just that. Period. Just that. Like nine years. There was some respect. Wish you the best. Yeah. Not great. Okay, this is a fresh start and the beginning of a new era for you. What do you want for yourself?

I want independence on every level. I want to be able to be completely financially independent. Actually, thank God, I don't have a ton of tied things, but I want to be financially independent and successful. I want to open my sandwich shop with Katie Katie, and have that be a total hit, which I think it will be.

What street is it on? Robertson. Oh, I am there. Do you know how there's no good sandwiches in LA? And you guys were so right, the only ones are male- Like the fat...

No offense to fat cells.

No, but it's only fat cells or like, Uncle Paulies.

Exactly. And that's just so not the vibe that we're going for. And if it's not that, then what is it?

I love it. So you guys are opening? Yes. Fabulous. So you're not letting it go to the wayside. This is still happening.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Good for you. Yeah.

So I'm very excited about all of that. Yeah. I just want to be independent and successful. I mean, all the things that I always wanted previously, but now it's really nice to be able to do it on my... And I want to be a solo homeowner. I want to own my own home with no one else on the deed.

God bless you, and you deserve it. Okay, last two questions. Okay. What do you want everyone to know about you outside of this scandal? You're like, I had too much rosé. Leave me alone.

I love long walks on the beach. Stop.

I like rosé, and I want to move to the French countryside, bitch.

I love Beyoncé. I'm like, okay, look, I just want people to know that I understand that reality TV is very over the top at times. And yes, of course, we love the drama. I love the drama. I mean, I'm a love Island Stan, as we know. But I just want people to know that, again, like what you were saying, on the other side of it, we are real people. I'm like a perpetually barefoot girl from Florida. And I love my girls, and I love my friends. And I just think that something I hope that all of this stuff brings is that we all just join together because I just think that I love women, and I think we are the fucking best. And I just think that when we team up, we are Unstoppable.

I am so happy you came today because I truly think you're so classy and you have such a head on your shoulders, even though in the midst of quite literally one of the biggest It's one of his most painful moments of your life. I'm so sorry this happened to you, but I do weirdly think, thank God, Ariana. Thank God. Because you would have potentially been with him and not known. And it's like, you deserve so much fucking better. And you know what? Let him go do his thing. Sure. Let her go do her thing, whatever she's going through. Everyone is meant to not be in whatever it just was. And you're amazing. And I can't wait to watch the reunion, although it's like, do you I don't have any fear of people watching it? Is there anything you want to preface before we turn on our TVs?

I just hope I wasn't too cut through.

No, bitch, you could be. I don't know. No, we want it.

I probably want the drop off. I think I go in. I don't know. I blacked out.

I think everyone was like, Lala is going to destroy, and we hope Ariana is right underneath being a little bit getting in there. Yeah. I'm excited.

Cheers. Well, cheers. Thanks for having me.