Sunday morning, fight this, Carlyn. Every Sunday's, fight this day. What the fuck? That was pretty good, right? Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. It is your father, Alex Cooper, back at it again. Oh my God, wait. That just reminded me. So this past weekend, I was at the Kentucky Derby, and I'm sitting outside with Matt and Lauren and a couple of other people, and we're waiting for our car. And there's this girl walking through the parking lot, and there's these two security guards. They're older women, and they're sitting there. And this girl starts freaking out. She's like, Father, I love you, father. And the security guard women turn around and they're staring at me. And they're like, do you think that girl... Who is she talking to? There's no men over there because Matt was off doing something, talking to someone else. And the girl's like, no, that's my father. And then these two older women are like, damn, people are so confused nowadays. And they had no concept of what was going on. It's really funny to see out of context, people in the Daddy Gang use the terminology that we have in the show.

Daddy or dad or father, and people that have no idea, literally, what the fuck is wrong with you guys. Nothing is wrong with us. We're fucking phenomenal. You should join the motherfucking club. So today I am going to answer questions because we need to talk things through right now. I feel like there's a lot of emotions going on. It's right before summer. We're all trying to make some life decisions. We're all trying to check in with what's going on in our lives. And so I am here to answer all your questions. So Daddy Gang, it is just me and you on this Sunday, this lovely, lovely Sunday. Let's get into it. Okay, question one. Hi, Daddy. Me and my boyfriend are at that stage where we know we will get married, but I would like to pick out my own ring rather than be surprised. He hasn't really brought up the subject, but talks about our future all the time. Should I trust him to know what to do or have Have the ring talk with him? I personally, without a doubt, would say have the ring talk with him. You have to wear this thing for the rest of your life.

I don't think you should leave it ever up to chance for a man to just know what you want. And not that I'm saying he has bad taste. I just think everyone has that visual in their head of the ring that they specifically want. I knew I wanted a very, very, very, very tiny, simple band with a rock on top of it. I I didn't want, I don't know what you even call it, a crown or any other diamonds around my diamond. I just wanted a big rock and a tiny... My band is so small. Every single person that tries on my ring is like, Alex, your band is tiny. And I was like, I know. I don't like to wear that much jewelry, and I wanted it to be so thin. And I knew I wanted... I didn't want an oval, but I wanted something like an oval. And so Matt found this vintage... It's oval circular, and it's a diamond that he found. But he had a vision because of me, because I was the vision, and I handed him the vision. And I've said this before on the show. I think Matt has incredible taste, if not way better than mine sometimes.

So I knew Matt wasn't going to get me an ugly ring, but was he going to pick me out the ring that I had envisioned? Probably not. So tell him. I also think sometimes we underestimate people want direction. If someone is going to get you something, I bet he'd be so elated to know like, Oh, this is what I want. Because then when he goes to the jewelry, think about this, rolls reverse. He goes to the jeweler and he's like, I'm picking out a ring. I'm so excited. I want this woman to marry me. She's the love of my life. And the jeweler at, I don't fucking know, Tiffany's, looks at your man and goes, Okay, well, there's so many rings. What do you think she wants? And then he loses all faith. His face goes flush white, and he answers, I don't know. So then, if you really are honest with yourself, what's really happening is your man is picking the ring that the jeweler is suggesting. He probably doesn't even have an opinion, right? So don't feel bad for giving instruction to someone on something that is going to be on your body, essentially, for the rest of your life.

That sounds really intense. But you know what I mean? Also, I would say, and this is my last bit of advice, yes, you can tell him and give him little hints. But again, just be mindful of the way that you tell him. Obviously, don't be like, I don't trust you to pick up my ring, so I want to tell you what I want. No, Daddy Gang, we know better than that. We're going to be like, Babe, I am so excited. I know we're talking about things, so maybe I'm going to text you a few things that maybe is in line with what I would want, but maybe, obviously, you pick, though, right? And so you can be cute and fucking send him a couple of pictures. Or if you're ever shopping for something for someone, maybe you're getting your friend earrings for her birthday. When you're there, be like, Oh, should I try on a couple of rings? Make it fun and make it light, but obviously, Honestly, also at the same time, you can make a comment. I know you'll do such a good job, but this is really what in line with what I'm looking for.

I've been hooking up with this guy, and we said we were exclusive, but he's really weird about giving giving him hickeys. Should I be concerned? Should you be concerned more so? Not him. You shouldn't be concerned that he won't let you give you hickeys. Why do you want to give him a hickey? Why does anyone want to give anyone a hickey other than staking a claim and making a point to be like, I own this person, or like, Oh, this person is spoken for, or, Oh, this person. Hickeys can happen in the moment, but it seems like you're intentionally trying to latch on motherfucking vampire, suck this shit, and stake a claim. I I think that has more to do with, are you insecure about the relationship? Are you guys going to parties where you're seeing girls and you want people to know that's your man? I think I would reel it back, because unless you have a hickey fetish, which I don't know why the fuck you would, just go suck some dick. Do you know what I mean? If you love to suck that skin, just go down south, so at least he can come.

You know what I mean? But a hickey, it's just going to leave a mark that's not cute. It's going to be publicized, and no one needs to know you're fucking. If you need to prove that you're fucking, then you probably shouldn't be fucking. You know what I mean? Okay. Oh, my gosh. Would you say college era Alex has changed a lot up until now? Oh, my God. Hello? Is this from my therapist who I haven't spoken to in three weeks? Yes, of course, I've changed since college. I don't really know where you want me to go with this question, but I will try my best answer it. I think college era Alex is one of my favorite eras in my life. I think I had some of the most challenging but formative years of my life. And I feel like the years that my friends that I made, the life lessons that I learned, the career things I learned, so many weird ones happening with professors telling me I couldn't do something and that I shouldn't be in this industry, and I should change, you can go to business school. And now knowing where I'm at, there were so many weird things, whether it was overcoming adversity or just literally having fun and being a degenerate, and not even being a degenerate.

That's exactly what I should have been doing in college. You know what I mean? But now I'm going to be 30 soon, and I love to have fun, and I love to go out. My body, I'm just like, I have to slow down a little bit because the hangover feels fucking different. And I have different priorities. I love relaxing. I'm like, I put in so much fucking work partying for so long that I'm now... I literally enjoy sometimes on a Saturday night knowing that my friends are going to a dinner, and I'm like, I can come, but I have to be home at least by 11 o'clock at night. I can't stay out till midnight because I have to get up tomorrow and work, and I'm going to be exhausted. And back in the day, are you fucking kidding me? I would be out till 5:00 AM. I'd Uber home, I'd shower, I'd get ready, and I'd go to practice. Life was different, and both are exactly where I would want them to be, and both were amazing. So whatever phase of life you're in right now, I wouldn't compare yourself to your younger self because so much of growing is embracing change and embracing where we're going and what feels good and what's new.

And of course, I miss things about my college in those years, but I like reflecting on them. I'm not trying to stay in that phase of my life. I want to grow. I don't really want to be as toxic. I have a man that I love now. And if I hadn't found Matt, I think regardless of Matt and my relationship, and I want to say this for everyone listening, I've had a lot of people write in being like, I'm 31. I don't have a man. It is okay. Sure, I'm really fortunate that I found Matt, but I would be making this same changes in my life at this stage with or without Matt. Of course, there's specific changes I'm making because we're in a relationship, but it was time for me to just switch up my lifestyle a little bit. It was time for me where I was like, I'm so exhausted with playing games. I now just want to go on a date with a guy and be deadass and tell him what I'm looking for. And I don't want to not text him and then blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, fuck with his head.

I had so much fun doing that in college, but there's only so much that I could have done with that before I was like, okay, now let's write a new playbook. Now let's write the playbook of how to have a healthy, happy relationship and feel fulfilled and confident individually and also confident in a partnership. And so it's okay if you're in your 30s or your 40s, ladies, and you're single and you're freaking out. I get it, but I'm telling you, start just making decisions for yourself, and then you'll find a partner. But make the effort to better yourself and look for what makes you happy and look for things that genuinely fulfill you. And I understand it's hard if your friends are ahead or behind you. I remember someone wrote in the other day to my DMs being like, My friend's pregnant, and I'm single, and I'm in my 30s, and obviously I'm happy for her, but I don't know. It's hard to be happy for her, and I'm trying to figure out how do I show up for her when I'm a little jealous and a little bitter? I want that. And it's like, I truly believe that if you were to force yourself just because you want to have a kid with someone, you're not going to be happy.

You have to genuinely let things happen organically. You have to let yourself go at your own pace. Comparing yourself to someone else's timeline is not the fucking move. And don't throw yourself into something because the timeline is freaking you out. Fuck a timeline. What do you feel is right for you in that moment? Don't just go on a third day with that guy because you're like, well, fuck. All my friends are married. Hey, It's okay. Guess what? Not to be a dick, but I'm sure there's a lot of your friends that are in married relationships that aren't that happy and maybe settled. And even if they're not, don't let yourself be the one then that settles. Fight for something that is worth your time and worth your energy and worth being with someone for the rest of your life. These small moments, I feel like I got so stressed. It was like right before I met Matt, I felt like I was really freaking out, and I definitely slid back into reaching back out to exes and thinking, what if? Because it was towards the end of the pandemic, and I felt like I had grown up a lot from just work stuff and life stuff and family stuff.

And I was just seeing things differently. And I was like, oh, my God, I think I want a genuine relationship. But where am I going to find that? I don't even know how to look for that. That was all just coming genuinely from a place of me feeling lost, and anxious, and stressed, and unsure. And so I was trying to be tough, and protect myself, and act like I didn't want what I now have. All I just needed to do was be patient with myself, though. When you open your phone and you see your friends posting that they're getting engaged or there's a pregnancy, these are amazing, gorgeous, beautiful milestone moments. But underneath milestones, it It took so much to get there. You don't know how long it took that person to get pregnant. You don't know how many fucked up relationships this person had before they were getting engaged and getting there happily ever after. You don't know what these people go. So it's like, be easy on yourself that the things that you're struggling with, we're all fucking human. We're all fucking going through it. But sometimes we get two in our head that we're the only ones fucking our shit up.

We're all fucking up. Trust me. I I fuck up so much. And I go to my therapist, and I talk to her about all my fuck-ups, and then I come on here, and I try to help you guys with your stuff. But I hope you guys know my life is not perfect. And I have so many fucking things that I work on every single week. And Matt and I have a beautiful relationship, but that doesn't mean that our relationship is perfect. Just keep that in mind. Daddy Gang, I love you. Where the fuck... What the fuck was that question? Oh, my God. Has college Alex era I have changed a lot? Yes, yes, I have. And I'm going to still be changing. I imagine one day, if I'm going to start a family or whatever, I'm going to be a different version of myself in a couple of years. Even in a year, you change so much. And I think that's exciting. I really feel excited about it. Okay, I need to shut the fuck up and answer another question. Next question. I hate my best friend's boyfriend, and it's making me not be able to be around her.

Is this a me problem? How do we tell our girls that their boyfriend sucks, and she's the only one who can't see it? Okay, well, you never tell your friend that her boyfriend sucks, even if this is quite literally the most extreme situation where it's a toxic or abusive situation. We never do that, because you guys have to understand If someone is in a romantic relationship with someone, that is their primary partner. And as much as you're their best friend, that is now their primary partner. And so they are going to defend that person, even if they know you're right, because there is an instinctual thing where it's like, don't come from my relationship. So you have to be really careful about that. Listen, if your best friend's boyfriend sucks, this is what I would say. I'm sure that your friend has recognized that the vibes aren't great between you and her boyfriend. And if she hasn't, I think that you can make more of an intentional decision to be like, if she invites you places when it's just the two of them, you can politely decline. You be like, Hey, I No worries. I think you guys can just go alone.

Why don't you and I grab dinner this week, just the two of us? And you can start like that. I don't think that's being passive-aggressive. I think that's trying to boundary set for her in a loving way, because then if she's like, Oh, why don't you want to hang out with us? I think you can then say, Listen, I think... I'm sure you've noticed it. I don't really think, let's pretend his name is Jared. I'm sure you can tell. I don't think Jared and I really get along. And I obviously love you, and I want to support and I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position. So I think we can just be more intentional about finding time for the two of us. I think if it's a toxic situation, though, that's where it gets tough. Because if it's toxic, then what's going to happen is when the boyfriend finds out that you're trying to have a one on one with a friend, he's going to try to push back and yell and scream and be like, Why are you going out with her alone? Because I feel like most of the time when it's toxic, the boyfriend always knows to alienate the girlfriend from the best friend.

And that's the toughest thing. But if this is not toxic and your friend's boyfriend is just a dick sometimes, I think you can have an honest conversation of like, listen, I know you love him and I am so happy that you're happy I definitely think I struggle because... And then maybe you can give an example that's not too aggressive. I think sometimes when we're out, whether he makes just inappropriate comments about you and puts you down, and obviously, I love you so much. And so it's hard for me as your best friend to be like, Hey, don't speak about her that way. But I don't want to get in the middle of things. But because it's he's doing it in front of all of us, it's hard to not get upset and get defensive over you. And it's hard for me. So I don't know if that's exactly, obviously, I'm making this up. Or maybe he's a dick to you, specifically. So you could again say, listen, I love you so much and I just want you to be happy. And so first and foremost, I just want to check in, are you happy? And how are you doing with this relationship?

And then listen. And if she says she's the happiest she's ever been, then say, okay, and I truly hope you know that's all I want for you because I know that's what you want from me when I find someone. But I have to be honest with you. Obviously, I'm sure you've noticed, Jared makes really aggressive comments towards me. And I don't want it to get awkward. I don't want it to get to the point where we can't all hang out. And I guess I just don't really know where to go from here. Because at the end of the day, it then is on your friend. Your friend who has this dick of a boyfriend needs needs to be like, I am so sorry. I'm going to talk to him because I did notice that the past couple of times, and maybe I was too drunk, and I was... Whatever it is. If this person is genuinely a little piece of shit, and it's coming between you and your best friend, you can voice this. I just think you need to be very, very, very delicate about how you do it, because here's the way that you shouldn't do it.

If she's like, Hey, I feel like you've been distant lately. It's like, Yeah, can I be honest? I don't know why why you're dating Jared. He's such a dick. All of our friend group thinks it. We all talk about it. He's constantly putting you down. He makes you look dumb, and he's so rude to all of us. I literally can't be around him. You're basically giving your friend no way to go. You're pushing her actually more towards him. Because if you want your friend to eventually come back to you and break up with this person is basically what I'm thinking you want, you have to lovingly show her that you're the reasonable one and you're trying to come to her and let him keep being the asshole. And maybe he will change. And maybe he's like, sorry, sometimes she pisses me off. And maybe you can own something. Maybe when you're drunk around him, you're always pushing him and making annoying jokes. And so he's a dick to you. I don't know the dynamic, but I think when we all know when it comes to friendships and relationships, you have to tiptoe and be very cautious.

And this is not to say that you should bite your tongue and never speak up for yourself, because that's not what I'm saying. It's just you have to be mindful that confrontation with friends and adult relationships, it needs to be thought out, and you need to come with concrete examples that are slightly diluted. The problem is, is when your friend's like, I don't know what you want me to do. I feel like you're being really dramatic. I love him, and I feel like you're just jealous, blah, blah, blah. That's when a friendship probably is not going be able to sustain, because it's not fair to you then to just, again, bite your tongue and not say anything and put up with someone being literally so rude to you just to maintain a friendship that isn't even real anymore because you're not even talking. Like, your friend is dating this dick who's basically being so verbally aggressive towards you in moments and your friend won't stand up for you, that's not a friend. Again, I would need more context, but I hope that gives some insight into whenever you're talking about someone in their relationship, ease into it.

I know so many people in my life that have had friends say shit about their partner, and it's like, that's just awkward, and they're never going to forget that if you're really aggressive. So think long game, not short term. How can you ease in? Speak about it in a way that's smarter than just attacking, because that gets no one anywhere and makes everyone feel like shit. Okay, any advice for soon to be brides on wedding day. I get married in October. Oh my God, I'm so excited for you. Congratulations. Okay, so my advice. So I feel like I, in certain aspects of my life, I'm very, very chill. But then on a day to day basis with work and stuff, I am very type A. I need things down to the millisecond to be perfect. If I am editing something and I see a tiny linger of that, this went too long, I freak out. I'm like, that needs to be fixed. And everyone's like, we don't even see it. I'm like, no, I need to fix it. When I'm working, I'm like, I'm... I wouldn't say I'm up tight. I'm just very, very particular about my work.

And then in other areas of my life, I would say, aside from work, I'm very chill and relaxed. But when it came to my wedding, when Matt and I are doing anything, throwing Thanksgiving or throwing a party or throwing an unwell event for our company. We are perfectionists, and we like everything to look perfect. We like everything to go perfectly. And I really, really worked hard leading up to the wedding to mentally get myself in a place where I knew I was going to be able to be relaxed on my wedding. And how did I do that? I basically wrote down a list of the most important things that I wanted at my wedding. And every single thing I would say in the top five was Matt and I to have a good amount of alone time throughout the wedding weekend to really be present with each other. Matt and I to before the wedding ceremony, that morning, Matt and I spent the entire morning by ourselves. Because on Thursday and Friday, we hung out with all of our friends. In the morning, we had brunch and everything, and the guys went and golfed. But on the morning of Saturday, Matt and I saw no one, basically, and we just sat on our balcony.

We had a brunch date together, and then we laid in bed together, and we just laughed and talked, and we both silently were in the corner writing our vows, and we had just such a peaceful, calm morning before the chaos. So we were very intentional about being focused on our feelings and being present rather than if the whole fucking tent collapses the morning of Saturday, it's okay. It's okay. And I know Matt and I were talking about all these logistics because Matt was basically planning this whole wedding. And I was like, Matt, once we get there, who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck if someone gets too drunk, if someone's annoying us, if a speech is inappropriate, if the stuff for the wedding doesn't look as nice as we wanted it to look, who cares? We are so in love, and we are celebrating our love with the people we love so much and who have made us who we are today for a weekend in a beautiful tropical location. There's a beach, there's margaritas, there's tacos, and there's us. And so my advice to you is try to not stress about the little things.

And I know I can actually say, I know it's possible because I just did it. And my friend, it was really sweet, my friend who is getting married, she's one of my best friends from childhood. We went to elementary school together, and she was so sweet after the wedding. She texted me a picture of Matt and I, and we were sitting I was sitting on his lap, and it was on Thursday night, opening night. And she texted me and said, this is one of my favorite pictures of you from your wedding weekend. And I was like, Why? Because it was a random photo, and it wasn't either of our best photo. And I'm like, Wait, why? And she I was like, Because you can tell how happy and relaxed, and present you are, both of you. And I am envious because I want to make sure I channel this at my wedding. And she was like, You were the chillest bride. And my dear, you are my good friend. You are not the chillest when I know it comes to stuff like this, planning and executing. And the fact that you were present and you were chill, like a chill bride, she was like, I genuinely know.

I have hope for myself, and I think I can do You're going to have the most fun if you and your partner are connected. And then if a fucking mother-in-law, or sister-in-law, or cousin, or whoever goes off the rails, you guys can turn to each other and crack up. Because let me be so clear, there was a couple of weird ones that happened at my wedding, and Matt and I just would turn to each other and like, pinch each other's fingers and be like, this is fucking everything. This is everything. We were so present that even when something was going wrong, it was funny us. There was something that happened right after our ceremony as we were walking out that we saw together. And Matt and I, in the middle of everyone rushing out with us, we looked each other and we start cracking up. We're like, of course, of course. And so I know you guys saw my wedding on Vogue and it's like, oh, everything was perfect. It was perfect because I was happy, present, and chill, and so was Matt. It looked amazing. It felt amazing. But of course, there were fucking problems.

So be present and be chill. And I know it's a weird thing, but I think you can be really intentional and talk to your partner before this, but you're not going to enjoy it unless you almost act like you are the guest of honor. You're not the host. And so everyone can take care of their own fucking shit because roles reverse what I always think about is no one really gives a shit when they're at someone's wedding. Obviously, who gives a fuck if the food sucks? I also thought about that. I was anxious about the food, and Matt and I were like, Wait, I don't go to a wedding and ever expect the food to be good. Or I All I care about is alcohol. And if I have, whether my partner with me or if you don't have a partner and you're single, finding a good group. Half the time, people don't even expect the bride and the groom to even interact with them. So I think when Matt and I were thinking, working overtime to make sure everyone had time with us, no one fucking really cared. They're like, you guys go have fun.

Go make out. I think that's also important. It's recognizing how you feel when you go to someone else's wedding. Not going to be a dick, but half the time I'm at a for someone else, I don't even notice fucking shit. Maybe now that I've gotten married, I'll notice more details because now I know the process. But no one gives a fuck when they're at someone's wedding. Oh, this isn't well organized. Okay, you are just mindlessly at a wedding when you're at a wedding. You know what I mean? So think in terms of that, your stress, you're probably the only person that cares about it. And that, I think, was helpful for Matt and I to be like, everyone is getting a gorgeous weekend at this I just resort. Who cares? And even if it's not a resort, even if it's in your backyard, everyone's coming to chill and drink and hang and schmooze it up and talk and chill. So, yeah. Okay, Daddy Gang, that is it for this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed. I know I answered only a few questions because I went on a lot of rants, but I hopefully feel like it was good.

I feel like in a lot of the DMs that I'm getting recently, I'm noticing, and it feels nice because I'm going through it as well. I'm I'm just saying that I feel like we've really just grown up together. Obviously, if you're new here, maybe you don't feel that way. Hello. But I know there's a lot of OGs, and I feel like we've grown up together from the toxic days and being in college and making decisions that are not maybe the best for us, but they feel right in the moment. And I feel like we've gone through a lot together. And I feel like now I'm at this place where a lot of you are writing in questions that feels very synonymous with what I'm going through in my life, and stresses, and concerns, and excitement over certain things. But I am really happy that we're at this point together. And I also, again, want to remind you, you can always write in questions that maybe aren't as in line with where I'm at in my life, because I've lived it and I've done it. If you're in college, if you're in high school, if you're just out of college, that was my bread and butter for a while, but now I'm entering this new phase.

And I think what's also fun is I feel like in this new phase, there's going to be questions that I have for you guys. I know there are so many daddies that are married and have had successful marriages for a while. And I would love to know what has worked in your relationship, what hasn't. I know a lot of the daddies are parents and mothers, which is crazy to even think that that would be in this next chapter of my life to think about. So it's an exciting thing to have a show like this where I get to just talk about things. And then also, don't even think about it for a second, there are going to be some episodes where I regress because I think of a hilarious thing because I see a picture from college. And I just love you guys, and I thank you so much for the support. And yeah, we have a lot of good episodes coming up soon. So get ready. I love you. I'll see you next Wednesday. Goodbye.