Hi, Daddy Gang. I am currently in Boston, okay? And I'm on my way to the Post Malone concert. And I figured, I don't want to go alone. I would love for you to come with me. That's why I got us this limo. But if we're going to go to his concert, I don't know, I just figured maybe we should also interview him. You want to come? Let's get into it. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. The man of the hour. Hi, everybody. Come take a seat.

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you so much. I'm going to give you a little hug before. I would absolutely love one. Just because, good vibes. How are you doing?

I'm amazing.

I guess I should say, Post Malone. Welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Well, thank you for having me.

I am so happy to be here. It's very exciting for me. I've always wanted to meet you. Yes, ma'am. You have a fabulous vibe. Thank you very much. We are currently in your dressing room, backstage. You're going to perform tonight. We are in Massachusetts, a little outside of Boston. Yes, ma'am. Do you have any connection to Boston? You have friends in Boston?

I have a lot of Patriot as friends. Well, friends is a very loose term, I suppose.

Are you friends with Tom braided? Is that what you're saying?

No, just Patriot fans. He's a very sweet guy, but a lot of people on the team are, for some reason, New England Patriot fans. I love that. It's all right, I guess. It's good. I don't know.

You don't like the paths? No, ma'am. No, ma'am. So respectful. No, ma'am. I fucking hate them, ma'am. I actually went to college in I haven't been back since graduation. It's a pretty surreal moment for me. If I knew in college I was ever going to interview you, I probably would have shit my pants.

Cool. I did shit my pants today. Oh, you did? I wanted to say also thank you for coming. I know you have a very busy schedule, too, so I appreciate you coming up. Thank you. No, I appreciate you. I appreciate you waiting as well.

I'm here drinking and relaxing. It's good. It's good vibe. As I was getting ready for this interview, I was like, Okay, I know you typically go by Post, but you have a new album out called Austin, which is your first name. Yes, we are. What's the vibe? Do you want to start going by Austin now?

My football coaches used to call me Posty, and that's where that started. You can call me whatever you want except late for dinner.

Late for dinner?

That's my most old man joke of all time. That's a joke from the '20s. It's a dust bowl joke.

I'm not going to lie. It took me two seconds to register the joke, and now I get it. And so now I'm going to laugh after it.

The thing is, there's no joke, really.

Comedy was different. No, it's great comedy. I appreciate you. No, that's interesting because I was talking to someone that's on your team, and he was like, Yeah, sometimes I'll call him Austin when we're more private vibe. And then post when it's more like he's Post Malone. He's out there.

Oh, you talk to people from the team?

Oh, I've been interviewing everyone about you. I'm getting all the T posts. I'm getting all the vibe. That's terrible. So do you think is Austin and post Malone the same person, or is Post an alter ego?

I think it's weird to think about. I think it's everything is me. Everything is me. My name's Austin. Everyone calls me Austin. Whenever I introduce myself, I always say Austin. Because I got Post Malone from just putting my name in a rap name generator in high school.

That is what we need to clarify. When I was researching, I was like, Hold on. Your actual last name is Post, which I don't think everyone knows. So it's Austin Post. So you put Post as the first, and you're saying you put into a random generator and you got Malone. Yes, man.

It just gave me the name, and I said, You know what? That does sound cool. And so I did it. I wanted to name like Whizz Khalifa, but it's not nearly as cool as Whizz Khalifa, but it has two words. It's like Whizz Khalifa.

Yeah, it's pretty unique. You're on tour, obviously. That's where we are right now. How is tour going for you?

It is a maze It's my first tour with a band. I'm having so much fun. I'm so excited. For the longest time, it would just be me on stage running around, and it was very lonely up there. Now I can look around, and if I fuck up or anything, I'll just be like, Hey, stop. And then the crowd be like, Oh, it wasn't him.

You're like, I can blame it on everyone It's not my fucking fault. I fall on my face. You're like, My fucking guitar is tripping me. What the hell happened?

What's this guitar for doing here?

What inspired you to name the tour, If you all weren't here, I'd be crying.

This is true for the most part. No, not really. Not anymore. I'm actually so happy now. It's super interesting being out on tour for a long time because for a long time, we just ran around the world, especially when I was I could and before COVID and all that stuff. Now being back out on tour is hard because I'm old, or I feel old, at least. How old are you? I'm 28. I just turned 28. Whenever I started, I was 19, and I was like, Everybody's like, Oh, he's 20 years old. I'm like, Yeah. But now I'm 28, no one cares.

I love it. We're the same age. So am I old? No, ma'am. I feel like 28. We're just getting to our prime, no?

You're tired. I'm super tired. Going on tour, now my knees click.

She said she tired little money, need a big boy. Pull up 20-inch blades like a little chore. Now it's everybody flocking near the decoy. Shorty mixing up the vodka with I need to get you a little brace.

It's a bunch of stuff. I wanted to go Stone Cold Steve Austin double leg braces because it's so sick looking. I wear jorts every show, so it's perfect.

The jort stop and then the knee knee brace begins.

And then knee brace begins. And you're like, Why does he wear those? I don't know, but it looks cool. I think the more shit that like, WWE wrestlers put on, I'm like, Whoa, they must have like, they've been through some shit.

I feel like you're the only person that could pull up jorts and knee pads or like knee brace vibe.

If I did knee pants, that would be badass. Because sometimes I'll hurt my hand because I'm a dumb ass and I play in my garage and like, stab myself with a knife on accident. And then I have to wrap my hand and I'm like, Oh, I'm so cool.

I love it. Okay, I hope next time I see you, you're going to be wearing that shit. Yes, ma'am.

That didn't answer your question at all, by the way. It's okay.

I don't care if we swerve. Who gives a shit? We're here to have a good time, okay? We're getting you ready for your concert. What is on your rider? Actually, can you explain what a writer is? Because some people may have no fucking idea what that means.

Yes, ma'am. There's many schools of thought here. I actually don't know how to spell writer. I don't know if it's writer or writer. I think that's where the two schools I was like, disagree. But there's a lot of different arguments that can spread out of that conversation. We won't get there. A writer is a list of stuff that you like that, I guess, make you feel at home whenever you're not.

So list us yours. Come on.

The thing about my writer is it's not updated. I still get candies that I don't like. Oh, like what? It's not that I don't like, but for the longest time, we had gummy bears Haribo gummy bears, which are fine. But if you eat them every day for two years straight. Yeah, it tastes like medicine. I want Black Forest gummy bears. I want to switch it up. But for now, we have Red Cups. I got to look over there. We have emergency Why don't you just read, What do you like?

What do you wish was in here?

I prefer on my writer, a stack of a million dollars cash. It would be very bitching.

They don't give a shit about you, I guess. That's what I heard. Old man vibe. It's over. You're like, I got to go home.

His knees click. We don't fucking care. You're like, as long as I'm singing- Just eat the fucking Harry Potter.

Do you think you're high maintenance or low maintenance?

I consider myself low maintenance, I think.

Do you think if I asked your team, they would agree.

Yes, I think so. I don't know because at the core of everything, I'm super simple. I need a beer, I need cigarettes, and I need I need two hours in the bathroom to answer emails.

That's it.

That's all I need, I think. Then a little bit of beer pong. But I will say something I'm a little bougey about is I need good cups and balls. Very specific cups and balls because there's a lot of different cups and balls out there. Sometimes they'll try to skimp out on the cups, and that's when I've had enough.

You take your beer pong very seriously.

I've gotten worse as I've gotten... I used to be so good.

Yeah, I was talking to Bobby, and he was like, he's so fucking good. You're bad now? Yeah, I'm bad now. I feel like that's also a façade. I'm so bad now. You're saying that, and then we're going to go in there, and you're going to be playing, and you're going to be better than everyone.

Are you super superstitious before before you go on stage?

Is there anything specific you have to do where you're like, Holy fuck, my day is ruined?

Well, answering the emails is very important. Okay. We're doing, tonight Noah's coming out. Oh, well, this is in the future. It's fine.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, in Boston, Noah Khan came out, and we were talking about inventing diapers for performers because you never know you hit the wrong move and it's Vesuvius. Yeah, it's going to Yeah, it's Yellowstone-level eruption sometimes.

Does that happen to you often?

No, it's never happened to me. Let's just make this very clear. I want to look at every camera and say it's never happened to me. But If it does happen, that's a nightmare. That's a nightmare.

One could assume that you would, since you were like, I've been really thinking about inventing these diapers, as if this is a serious sewage problem for you where you're just letting it rip.

Then there's the whole thing because then think of what I could do with that two hours. Sometimes I'll bring a guitar in there. I mean, all the best lyrics are written on the shitter, 100%.

Yeah, can we clarify for a minute? Sure. What I've heard is you do some of your best songwriting on shrooms and on the toilet.

That's what I was going to say.

Let's talk about it. Are you taking shrooms and then camping out in the bathroom? Are these two things together or are they separate They are separate ventures.

They are separate ventures, but I've never even thought about it that way because they do... I've had some of the meanest shits in my entire life off the shrooms and just beer. It's because it'll be... Whenever I was a kid, too, it'd be beer and shrooms for four days and not eating anything. I will be like, Guys, I'm going to die right now.

You're just shitting your brains out.

Yeah, it's terrible.

It's a skinny legend. You're like, It all just caught me.

I lost 10 pounds from this one trip once. No. But it's crazy because at one point it just knocks on fucking hell's gate. And you're like, okay, we need to open the floodgates now.

We need to take care of this. This is a problem. You keep talking about doing emails? Do you not have someone to do your emails for you?

Emails is just code for shitting. Answering emails is just code for shitting.

Okay, I didn't know if you're actually sitting doing emails while you're taking your shit.

Sometimes I'll answer some emails. On tour, it's hard to I bring gaming consoles and stuff, and I'm pretty huge pro gamer. I do a lot of online shopping, and everybody thinks every order I place is fake.

But you're really shopping in there while you're sitting.

It's me, and then they call me.

You Can you put your name on the order?

I have to. No, you don't. Yeah, I do because they call me and they're like, Hey, we've had a lot of fraud, and we want to say... They even call me about my billing address not matching up with my home address and stuff. Little do they know I'm totally on the can, and I have to run a white noise machine or a little bit of water, and I have to specifically get up and turn it off and then sit back down just so they don't think I'm in. I know sometimes they can tell with the reverb, because What's interesting about a bathroom, you can definitely tell if you're on speakerphone, you can definitely tell if someone's in the bathroom. Then in pictures, for some reason, if you send someone a picture, a selfie while you're shitting, there's no way that you don't know they're on in the toilet. It's like an angle or something.

Are you often taking selfies while you're shitting?

No, but if I do.

Who would you send a selfie to while you were taking your shit?

I have a bunch of ex-Seal buddies and Ranger buddies, and they do it all the time. They're like, Hey, just take it as shit. What's popping? And I'm like, All right, yeah, me too. You know what? Fuck it. Let's do it.

It gives you a little extra hair on your chest. You're like, I'm feeling myself.

This is what boys do. This is what we do. We send each other's shitty selfies.

Yeah, I like that for you.

Then Dre will FaceTime, my manager will FaceTime me or something, and I'll be like, Hey, you know what? Hey, what's going on? You can definitely tell him FaceTime.

It's always such a pleasure to sit down with people because you never know where an interview is going to go. What I love about Call Her Daddy is, usually it has one vibe, but today, it's like, today we're talking about shit. But it's comedy. You're bringing the comedy. I love it.

You can say this interview really went in the can.

It went in the can. Okay, I want to take a step back. Before you were Post Malone, you were just Austin. What were you like as a kid?

Um? Weird? Mm-hmm. Weird? I've always been like... I don't know. I've always been an introverted kid, but then I loved Express. I love making music forever. I love playing games. I love hanging. I had a small group of friends. We would just go over to my buddy's house every day and just play games and stuff. I don't know. Yeah. Weird. A little weirdo?

When you say you're a little weirdo back then, is there a memory or something, a story that comes to mind that you can help us describe you as a younger kid?

That's a hard question. I remember I grew my hair long. I wore the tightest crew jeans I could find, and crew was the shit. It was like the crews and the purple fallen shoes with the fat laces. I would go, I don't know. And then I started, everybody started goodwilling and going to the stores to go grab old penny loafers and shit. Yeah, thrifting. Yeah, thrifting. I don't know why I couldn't think of that word. It's okay.

I got you. I'm here.

Thank you very much. Yeah, of course. But yeah, we would just go run around and play games. I don't know if there's a specific memory. I know everybody's like, Oh, I'm quirky or I'm zany. I'm wacky. But You're just like, I was a weirdo. I don't know. I was just me. Yeah, that's the whole thing. I moved when I was nine. I used to get bullied a whole bunch in school. For what? I guess, dressed in the way I did and stuff. Because we wore skinny jeans and all that stuff. That was just a new deal. I don't know, but people throw gum in my beautiful hair. I had beautiful hair. I had to cut it all off.

You'd cut it off because there was so gum in your hair?

No, there's way too much gum in my hair. This is becoming a problem. But I was safer. I was safer because the gum would harden. If I fell off the skateboard or something, it would be protected.

After class, Post would have so much gum in his hair because the entire class would throw gum. And if you fell, it was more of a little rebound thing. You were chill.

I was not throwing gum every day.

Okay, just occasionally.

No, it was like, Oh, there's that fucker. Let's hit it with the gum. What is that? Trident layers? That's good shit. That'll get stuck super good.

So you wore skinny jeans. Do you think that was the gist of why you were getting bullied? No, I don't know.

I think it was always because I always wanted to be myself. I I guess. We all know high school is super high school. Totally. So middle school, high school. When I was a kid, too, this didn't start me off good at all because I wore slacks and a dress shirt every day and slicked my hair back because I saw my dad go to work and I was like, You know what? That dude's cool as fuck. So I want to do that, too.

Yeah, I could see that. The kids be like, Why the fuck are you wearing slacks? You're like, Because my dad does.

I was be like, Because my dad's cool, guys. What the fuck?

Yeah, and they're like, Well, we're in fucking middle school in high school, so literally get it together.

I remember for one year, my school tried out a uniform, and I was already Gucci. I was like, I didn't even have to change shit. This is great.

I wake up and put this shit on a Saturday, motherfucker.

I was like, This is me. These are my PJs.

Dude, it's so fucked how kids are at that age. Kids are mean. I also got bullied, and I've talked about it on my show, but I'm like, people were so fucking mean, and that sticks with you. I feel like it's interesting because now I feel like people know in the industry and just your fans, you are now known for having the sweetest, kindest heart. You're so sweet to people. I wonder, is any of that because you don't want people to feel the way that you were treated?

Well, yeah, I always think about that, too. I know, I think it keeps me up some nights. It'll It'll be like, say I was at dinner or something, and I'm in the middle of taking a bite and someone will say, Hey, can I have a picture with you? And I'll be like, Yeah. And I'll get up and I won't be as energetic as I used to be because I want to eat, too. Yeah, of course. And I always think, and I'm like, Man, I could have been so much kinder in that situation. And that drives me nuts because I know how it feels to meet someone, especially, I guess, someone that you either know from music or someone that you really like their music or whatever. I know how that feels for them to be a total asshole. That's what drove me, I guess, to that. I don't want anybody... It only takes one second out of your day to be nice.

Totally. Do you have any advice for anyone that is like, damn, fuck, post. I relate to you of feeling like an outsider or feeling like maybe they don't fit in and they're getting bullied. Do you have any advice? Any wisdom?

Well, I don't know about wisdom. But yeah, I mean, coming from that and just realize you are so fucking cool. You are so fucking cool. Even if no one thinks you're fucking cool, you're super fucking cool. I guess that's it. I mean, at the end of the day, you're only one person your whole life, and you should be able to express yourself and live your life and do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as you're not hurting anybody. A lot of people don't really understand that, I guess. Especially it's hard being a kid. It's hard being a kid. I'm not going to say I understand why kids bully people, but it's hard being a kid. People go through shit every day. Just keep being yourself. Just keep being fucking cool because you're fucking cool. And no one can tell you shit, really.

For example, you're pretty fucking cool. Thank you very much. Look, no gum anymore.

No gum.

Shorter Shorter hair. You're looking great. Shorter hair.

Thank you very much.

Okay, I'm going to ask you some rapid fire questions. Okay. And, Post, I want you to really just give me whatever comes to your mind and your heart in this moment when I ask you this. Okay. Okay, here we go. Who is your best friend in the industry? Shit.

Louis Bell.

You have to get rid of one tat. Which are you removing?

For my mommy, something on my face.

That's fair. Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mom. She's here tonight.

Oh, I need to meet her. Lovely. You're like, no.

You can hang out with her as long as you want. Okay.

What is something you used to be embarrassed about, but you I don't give a shit about anymore.

My nipples. I have poofy nipples.

Poofy? That sounds cute.

It's not cute.

Oh, okay. It's not cute. It's not fucking cute, bitch. They're tough.

They're tough.

Did you know they were puffy or did you get told they were puffy?

Yeah, they always gave me shit about that. I never took my shirt off as a kid because I was like, Man, my nipples are so puff. I don't get why. I don't understand this.

Just a little Puff Daddy.

I'm Puff Daddy. Okay. Puffy Nipples. That's how he actually got his name. Have you seen his nipples?

He has puffy nipples? You and Puff Daddy. One thing in common, puffy nipples, bitch.

He's just way richer than me. Stop.

Okay, puffy nipples. That's a great answer that I didn't anticipate. This episode is going to be Post Malone featuring Puffy Nipples. This is good. That is great. That is good. Okay. Have you ever joined the Mile High Club?

Not all the way.

Like a little finger bang or you couldn't come?

Oh, no. Definitely bust. Is that a fine to say?

This is Call Her Daddy. We talk a lot about sex here.

Yeah, definitely bust, but no coitus. Not full coitus. Okay.

That's good. Thank you for...

This is good. Here's the whole deal, and I'll tell you why. I know it's supposed to be rapid fire, but I feel like the moment you get up on an airplane and go to the bathroom or move around at all, that's when the turbulence starts. Because I'll see somebody get up and I know they have the poop walk. I can tell they're going to be back there and I'm like, Get back in your seat. It's so bumpy right now. I know this is your fault. Am I the only one that feels that way?

No, I agree with you and I understand that. Have you ever had the poop walk on the plane?

I have never shit on an airplane. I have never either.

You know what? I know it's gross to talk about, but this whole fucking episode is all shit. I was on the airplane and I think there's nothing worse than when someone has gas on the airplane and you're just clench it or do fucking something, bro, because it's reeking.

I'm not going to lie. I definitely have farted real bad on an airplane before, multiple times. I'm so sorry to everyone that was on there. They probably thought that fucker was going down because they were like, That's not a natural smell. So it's going to be like jet fuel burning or something.

But I have never shit on an airplane either. I think it's like there is a level of controllability in there. You know what I mean? But would you rather someone take shit or fart on the airplane? Well, you're the fucking culprit over here.

Well, I feel like for... Well, look who we have here. If it isn't jet fuel shitter on the airplane, making everybody think it's going down. No, I mean, I feel like During COVID, even then, we might not even have that problem. So I'd let them rip all the fucking time. You can't smell shit. And if the N95s are that effective, you shouldn't be able to smell my shitty farts. They're not shitty, by the way. Stinky farts.

Your little stinkers weren't getting through. It's almost like the motherfuckers that were wearing the ones that weren't that thick. It's like, well, shame on you. You deserve the fart.

Usually what I do, whatever area I'm in, I distribute the ones that are really powerful with the twisting filters. They're like, really? And I'll just say, Hey, guys, this is just in case. Everybody's usually pretty receptive to it. They're like, Thank you.

I appreciate the strategy you put into letting it go. Okay. What is your most toxic trait?

I have a bunch of those.

Share with the class.

Drinking. Drinking. Drinking and sometimes jealousy. Also sometimes, especially with my good friends, quick to anger, which is something I- Jealousy as in relationship? Yes, ma'am.

The fiancé is like, I'm just chilling in the room and you're like, What are you doing? You're giving a little jealous vibe.

I am right now?

No, no, no. Just like, I was asking. Yeah, I can tell you, you're so jealous.

I think everybody's going to be jealous after watching this because they weren't as free with their fecal talk.

No, exactly. You're just letting it rip, literally. Okay, so you're jealous. You're jealous with your woman a little. Okay, but that shows you care.

Well, I guess that's...

A good way to look at it.

I guess that's That's a way to look at it. She wouldn't say it. Well, that's a good way to look at it. I never necessarily want to be mean, but I guess that stems from a place of my own insecurity and how insecure I am. Yeah, I don't know. Nothing absolutely wild, but it's just like, I want to feel loved. You know what I mean? I guess that's what it is. I get it. Like many humans.

And you're drinking. Are you working on it or you're cool with it? You just are aware.

I am working on it. I used to drink because I was sad. Now I drink for shows and because I'm happy. It's hard getting out there, and I get so shy and timid and shit. So I just drink a little bit to, I guess, cope with that and be able to get my liquid courage, literally.

That's so interesting because I feel like when I see you on stage, especially online and TikToks, it's like, Post, you're busting out dance It's like, you're just in your own world up there. I don't think anyone would think that you would be too shy to get up there.

Oh, well, that's... The alcohol? Yeah, most definitely. You think these dance moves, they're conduited from a great drinker in the sky somewhere.

Yeah. You're like, I'm actually just hammered, and that's why I feel comfortable to bust a move in my jorts.

That's exactly what it is with my knee braces.

Exactly. Please put those on before the show tonight. What is a purchase you blew too much money on and regret?

Regret? Mm-hmm.

Or you blew too much money on it and you're aware, but you don't give a fuck.

I bought the Lord of the Rings magic card.

Oh, do you want to tell me how much that was?

It was $2 million. Don't make me regret it right now.

Oh, you were saying you don't regret it because I'm like, not your fault.

No, I definitely don't regret it.

Oh, where is it now?

Well, I guess right now, since this is in the future, I have it already. Would you like to see it?

Oh, yes.

I can't wait. We'll do it off camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

$2 million dollars on a fucking card. Yes, ma'am. Wow. So you really like Lord of the Rings?

I like Lord of the Rings and Magic: To Gather.

Do you like Frodo?

I'm down with Frodo. I think he's cool. He's a flawed character, but we all are. I like his feet. Oh. Not in a sexy way, but I just think it's cool how he lets him... He's walking around the most treacherous place in the world in his bare feet, and I'm like, That's fucking Yeah, I appreciate you clarifying because I think on this show, people would think you were like, Oh, I jerk off to Proto's feet.

That's the vibe this show would give, so it's good you clarify that.

Answering emails can mean a lot of things.

Exactly. Okay, $2 million for a fucking car. Damn. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Fuck. You can be honest. What counts? You're putting your dick in something. In the coochy? In something? Well, I didn't know.

Okay, in something.

A bot or a bee.

Bot? First ho... Whoa. All right. Fuck.

No, no, no. Do you like women specifically? Yes, ma'am. Okay, so a V then. A vagina. Okay. When's the first time you put your dick in a vagina?

I thought it was like... Here's like, When's the first... Oh, first time for anal, and I'm like, Whoa, fuck. Oh, we could go there, too. When's the first time for anal? When's the first time you did V?

Let's go. Here we go, post.

Let her rip. Oh, fuck. September '08? No, that's from the other guy. That was his first desk pop. I don't know. The question was age? Age.

17? 17. What about the bum hole?

No, fuck. Not until a couple of years later.

What was the experience like?

For me, very cool. This is a crazy thing. There's a lot of crazy stuff you look at as a kid. I'm like, You know what? Fuck, I don't want to try this shit.

Did she shit on your dick or no, you were okay?

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, ma'am. Okay, we're moving on. He kept it clean. It was clean. When you pulled out, you were okay? You weren't traumatized?

No, I was not.

It sounds like you're saying she was, though.

No, but I can never speak on behalf. We talk and be like, Yeah, everything's great. But then I don't know. Is this normal? Have you known? Not again with the... Whatever.

You wouldn't do it again?

No, I would. But not with the same lady.

Totally. You have a lady.

No, I understood. But this was like, not with the same lady. We never did it again. Does that make sense?

Got it. Yes.

I can only speak on my behalf. No, this is good. I was gung-ho, though.

You're like, I was having a great fucking time. Anyways, what is your biggest fear?

I hate airplanes, but that's not a biggest fear. What? That's a cop-out. But I guess not being able to be there for my baby, which is a new fear. But yeah, that's why I tried to slow down on drinking, to take better care of my body. I stopped drinking sodas and stuff. I remember I went to the doctor and they said, Hey, man, your liver sucks. I was All right, so how do we fix it? And so we're fixing it. You're working on it? Yes, ma'am.

What's the most awkward interaction you've had with another celebrity?

I don't necessarily remember, but I remember there's one gentleman I know who doesn't drink. I saw him after a couple of years, and I was roasted. I was like, Hey, man, what are you drinking? He's like, I don't drink. I'm like, Oh, fuck, dude, I'm so sorry. That's a bad feeling for me. I was like, Oh, I'm so sorry, man.

I get it. You're like, Why did I just say that? But I'm sure they get that all the time, so that's okay. But I get what you're... It's in a moment, you're like, Fuck me.

Yeah, I know. I'll be like, I'm such a dick. Then that shit keeps you up. You're like, Oh, man.

Why did I do that? You're a nice guy, though. You care what you can affect people.

Every One can. Just be nice. Don't be a dickhead. Just be nice.

Don't be a dickhead. Yes, ma'am. Let's put that on a T-shirt. You're forced to dress up and role play in the bedroom. What are you dressing up as?

I guess, Frodo now We have to go on theme here.

You got to keep it consistent.

It has to be. What would that look like? Either Frodo or Sauron. That'd be so badass. I'll put on stilt and be 10 feet tall like Sauron.

Do you think that would get your woman turned on?

No, ma'am. Not even in the, There is no life in the void. And then she's like, What the fuck are you doing?

It couldn't be more dry. You're literally disgusting me right now. What is happening? You're freaking me out. You're on stilt, post coming in.

Then she'll show me Sauron's eye. That's a coochee. That's the nickname there for the coochee.

Got it. And she just spread herself and like, I guess this is a girl play. I guess this is Sauron. Jesus fucking But then we don't even have sex.

I just practice my mace moves. Check.

Watch this. I'm picturing... This is good, too, because it's giving a full idea of what your sex is like. Do you know what I mean? People are going to be like, Oh, this is good. He's on stilt. The whole thing, it's good. This is sexy.

Or Captain Price from Call of Duty.

Wow. This is very specific. You learn something new every day. Yes, ma'am. This is really good. When's the last time you cried?

That's been a long time.

That's a lie.

That's been a long time.

Someone told me you were crying yesterday. I didn't cry yesterday. Do you cry on stage?

No one saw me yesterday. I almost cry on stage. I almost cry on stage, but I don't cry.

Almost.

That's sweat. Dude, it's fucking hot. It's hot up there. I'm sweating a lot. I hadn't cried in like, fucking years.

Well, if you were to cry recently, what would you be crying over?

I find it harder now. I don't know, you do it for so long and you lose... It's sad, but you're super calloused to shit. I used to cry when people would make fun of me and shit. Now I'm just like, Hey, man, well, you haven't met me. I think you might like me if we got to hang out, but it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore. But I did cry the other... Like last tour because my baby started blowing kisses and it's really cute.

So they were happy tears, Po. Yeah, happy tears. That's great. That's great. Well, this is a quick little transition. We were talking about your baby blowing kisses. Just pretend that didn't happen for a second. What's your go-to porn search words?

Frotto Feats, Legolas Wig, Sauron Macekill's Captain Price in the Prawn, Cruise Missile, Five Kill Streak. I usually put them all in one, and you'd be the surprise if someone crazy shit comes out of that.

Wow.

No, I don't know. I mean, I just go to a daily selection. The daily trending. Yeah, well, because they spend a lot of time on the algorithm, I think. I think a lot of people are on these sites. Something must be right there. Yeah, there's no shame. Check it out. Totally. Then you get 10 pages on there, so you can be like, Well, go to page 5 today. Or you roll a dice. You roll a D12. Or a D20, and see what page you should go to.

I'm picturing you on porn. I'm like, What's today's selection? This is interesting.

You're down for whatever. Crack some wine. Open a nice bottle and just candles and I put Lord of the Rings. It usually takes me 12 hours, my whole crank sesh. So I can watch all the Lord of the Rings in that time period. Yeah.

Is that how long you would last during sex?

No. No. How drunk am I?

What if you're sober?

I'm like 30 seconds.

Okay. What if you've had seven beers?

Bump that up to a cool minute 30. Okay.

What if we're working at a 20 Beers.

Crazy Night? Yeah. I'll go. That's when the machine turns on. That's when it's all finally lubricated and you just keep going. I'll be like, How? I'll be like, Oh, no. Let's go.

You're in your prime. You go to the doctor.

Call the doctor.

What's your favorite sex position?

Missionary, of course.

You keep it pretty locked down with your personal life. Yes, ma'am. Which I think is great. But again, this is Call Her Daddy. So I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. You answer how you're comfortable. Yes, ma'am. You're engaged? Yes, ma'am. Or are you married and you secretly haven't told anybody? I'm not married. You're not married. You're engaged. How long have you been engaged?

Two years.

Okay.

Yeah. I met a guy the other day and he was like, I just got married after 21 years. And I'm like, Oh, sick. Please don't tell her that.

We got you. What would a post Malone wedding look like? The Chin.

The Chin.

Yeah, absolutely.

I don't know. I'd imagine an ice loosh for a bruise that's just steady going. And it just keeps being The beer keeps being poured into it, and all my buddies are super down for the cause. So they just go and take a suckle of the teat of the nectar and keep that party going. Dance moves are going to be hopefully popping. I don't know. I'd imagine everything rustic, modern. Jorts? But like, wedding jorts? Lots of camouflage. Oh, Well, yeah, fuck rustic modern. I think we just do everything camouflage. I think that sounds amazing.

Would you wear a camo suit?

Sure. Fuck, yeah. I actually have a camo tuxedo.

You're wearing camo crocs? Yes, ma'am. Very trendy.

That's super trendy.

Very cool.

But I wear it for the utilitarian purposes.

Okay, cool. How did you propose?

It was in Vegas. But we got married, just a proposal. I had lost a significant amount of money at the table. We go upstairs and I'm like, off my rocker, hammered. I was like, Hey, you want to marry me? I got a ring and all this stuff. And then she said, No. She's like, Ask me tomorrow. And I was like, All right. Yeah. And then I did. And I was sober and it was nice.

I fucking love her for that. She's like, Be fucking sober.

She's a beast. She was right. I knew. You did? I knew. I'm just terrible arbiter of romanticism, I guess.

How did you know? What is something about her? Because I know you keep your relationship private. What's something that you knew you were in love with this person?

I could tell, which is really cool. I could tell her heart is so massive. I've always wanted kids and a big family, and I could tell she was going to be a really good mama, and she's like, number one mom in the fucking universe.

Are any of your songs about her?

They're not out yet.

Is it going to be on the new album?

No, ma'am.

So you've written some, but no one's heard them?

No one's heard them. Because I don't know. That's a scary... I feel like, I don't know. A lot of the songs I write for her, I don't even play for her because I'm terribly shy about the... I know it's terrible. I know.

If I was her, I would force you to sit down and play it.

We do have a guitar. Would you play? All right, I'll play it. It's like 25 songs, so I hope you guys are ready.

Don't stop. You can't get us that excited. My heart got excited. Okay, but you've written songs about her, but you just don't release them right now. Yes, ma'am. Okay, so you're now a dad. Yes, ma'am. Which is so exciting. Yes, ma'am. How old is your daughter now?

At the time of this interview, 14 months. 14, 15 months.

Congratulations. Thank you very much. What is Papa Post like?

It's cool. Very cool. Very My dad, when I was a kid, he would always play me really heavy music, and I love heavy music. The other day, I put on a Godsmack song, and I started rocking, and she was like... And it was really cute.

That must have made you really happy.

Yeah, that made me really happy.

What do you think is your best dad's skill?

Having money. Yeah, for sure. I think as of right now, it's good for the baby and good for the mom. I think that's about the only skill I have, really. Sometimes I'll play guitar with her, which is an all right skill, but they're like, Put the fucking guitar away. I want the new Fisher Price deal.

You're like, Here's my Mx. God bless you all.

I think the baby knows the code. That'll be our first word is my credit card number. Information. Okay, now what's the expiration? Very good. Okay.

Dude, that's so good. You're bringing the You're self-aware, post. Okay?

Hey, look, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I'm so happy for you.

I'll pay all the money in the world.

It's amazing. What's a lesson that your parents taught you growing up that you want to make sure that you pass on to your daughter?

Well, my dad said, you can't make everyone happy, which is a good lesson. I still struggle with that because I try to be... And being kind is totally different than making someone happy. But if there's You ever have a problem with your parents or a friend or something, they'll understand and you understand and just be patient with the situation and hypocritical at sometimes. But I guess that's just be yourself and you can't make everyone happy, especially in... Sorry.

No, you're fine. I agree with everything you're saying, and I think it's a good approach to life. What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?

Small nipples.

You're like, Puff Daddy.

I'm Puffy Nips. You guys know my new record? No, I don't know. I don't know. Well, I guess right now I could say everybody thinks I'm on drugs. Okay. I'm not on drugs. Okay.

It's good to clarify. No. Maybe you don't even have to.

Well, that's- You shouldn't have to. I just spoke to somebody about this, and it's interesting having everybody in your life all the time. I tried to maintain a private lifestyle because especially with the baby, I want her to be able to decide what she wants to do. Maybe she doesn't want to be on social media, but I see a lot of people, Here's my baby, just right out of the cooche. Here she is, here they are. I'm like, Well, how do you know the baby wanted to do that?

Trust me, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Let the kid Yeah, well, that's the whole deal.

I try to maintain that whole deal. But people can see me on stage and they might take my dance moves. People are like, Hey, this is what meth looks like. I'm like, I'm not a meth.

Yeah.

I think it's- Unless it's in pedialite. Is it in macaroni and cheese? Yeah, a little maybe. Because I'm definitely on meth if it's in macaroni and cheese.

But does that get annoying, though? How do you decide when you're like, Fuck, should I not speak up on this? Or you're like, Hi, I'm not on fucking drugs.

Respectfully, I don't owe anybody an explanation for anything. But I can tell that there is genuine care. Everybody is not just the guy that's like, Okay, kids, this is what meth looks like. Don't be like this fucking guy. But there is people who genuinely care, and I wanted to put their minds at ease. There's so much love in my fan base, and it's super cool, but you always get those motherfuckers that are like, Fuck this guy. You know what?

It is interesting, though, when you say that post, because in the same interview, you're saying, I've never been happier, and people think you're on meth. Yes, ma'am. So this is nice.

It's a a fine line.

Yeah, it's interesting. You're like, I have never been happier, and Everyone's like, But you're on math? Yeah. You're like, You can think that. I'm happy.

At the end of the day, they're going to think whatever they want. Even after I was like, Hey, guys, I'm not on drugs. People are like, That's exactly what someone on drugs would say. Okay, great. Okay, whatever. I said what I- You tried. Yeah. You tried. And I'm happy as I've ever been. Not on drugs, like a good beer, like to smoke cigarettes, hanging out.

We love it. Your new album, Austin. Yes, me. By the time this comes It Will Be Out. What is the story behind the album?

The story behind the album is a couple of days before tour, we were like, Hey, I want to do an acoustic project. So we went and we rented out Hensen a week. We made eight songs in seven days and crushed half of the record there. Can I have a brewsky?

Yeah. Thank you. I'm so sorry. Wait, no, you're fine. Wait, you did Eight songs in seven days?

Yes, ma'am.

Is that normal?

Sometimes. Sometimes it is. They're not good for the most part whenever we do that. Yes, please. Thank you, Ben. Bobby. Sorry. Fuck. God damn it.

Ben?

Yeah, Ben. Ben is usually grabbing the beers.

But it's Bobby.

But it's Bobby in here. Hi, Bobby. Hi, Bobby.

Hi.

Hi. Hi, Bobby. You want to come in for camera time? Yeah, Bobby. When was your first anal?

Let's talk about your sandwiches.

No, thank you. You're like, fuck off. Thank you so much. Yeah, guys, check out Bobby's or Bobo's if you're ever in... You have in Jersey.

Jersey. Okay, so eight songs, seven days. Yes, ma'am. You said, Usually that turns out bad, but...

Well, yeah, because you can go and you can make half a song and never have lyrics or anything like that on there. But It was so much fun. We had so much fun. It was originally supposed to be just me and a guitar. Then we were like, Oh, fuck it. This song would be bitching with drums on it. We just kept making a whole album, and we finished. The whole album was made in Musically, recording-wise, it's three weeks total. So it was cool.

How do you want your fans to feel about this album?

I just hope they don't think it sucks. That's usually the consensus amongst the team. They're like, Does this suck? I don't think it sucks, but it's really cool. I felt a lot of space. It was written by me and three other dudes completely. Well, besides, we had some really super talented guest writers. I wouldn't even call them guest writers, co-writers. But guests in the studio, because for the most part, it was just us. I always keep stuff to myself.

That you wrote on the toilet.

Yes, ma'am.

It's a very intimate moment for you to write it on the toilet, you and yourself, and then to put it out there.

Well, I actually had them bring a porcelain thrown into Hensen to cut the vocals as well in the guitar. Just for perfect accuracy. I think you can hear a little bit of the shine, a little bit of the twang in the recording.

You wanted it to be genuine. Yes, This is me in my raw form of how I actually do it.

I'm actually going to do that for the next record.

We just did a new- That should be your album cover.

Everyone would know. Live from the shitter. No, everyone will know. It'll just be me on the toilet.

Or it's the selfie angle for your fucking album cover.

It's a selfie. Everybody's like, Oh, this dude's definitely on the shitter.

What is your favorite lyrics that you wrote?

I call her Shrek because she got a donkey.

It's It's ingenious. It's innovative. It's also nostalgic.

It's eye-opening. It strikes all the right chords. It really makes you think.

What is that lyrics on? What song?

It's called Socialight.

Socialight. Oh.

Could you imagine? It makes you think, like think, and then track, donkey.

What do you think is going to be the biggest banger? Do you usually know when something is going to hit with your fans, or you are always surprised which one's become the biggest?

I'm always surprised, I feel like. I can go off what management and label and everybody says and stuff. But I just want to make a song that I like and I could never... Some songs you just know and like, Oh, this is Really catchy. That usually does it, but now I'm old. I made an album with me playing guitar in every song in no features, so I don't know exactly how in touch I I am. But I think there's some great songs on there that I hope people like.

What's your favorite song on the album?

You know that one. Yeah, that one. You know that one.

I can already feel it. I can already hear it.

I really don't. Fuck.

Top two.

They're all so different.

You know whatever comes out of your mouth everyone's going to listen to.

I hope anybody listens at all. That would be amazing.

They're going to listen to us. Daddy Gang is going to fucking listen. Thanks, Daddy Gang. These people are so loyal. Daddy Gang is going to get out there. They're going to stream the whole thing. But we need to hear your top two songs.

I'm trying to remember the track list, too. I don't want to go. I'm having so much-I don't want you to go either. I'm actually getting kicked off is what's happening. No.

I'm like, Okay, it's been enough shit. Talk get the fuck out.

Get the fuck out, Frotto feet.

This is the first night you shit your pants on stage. It goes down to I like Green Thumb a lot.

I had a lot of fun playing the guitar on that and writing the guitar for that. And enough is enough, something real. I can list the whole track list. But I don't know. I had so much fun working on those records.

I'm so excited for you. You're so talented. It's always such a pleasure to get to sit down with someone and meet them in person because, again, I see things online about you. I see your pictures and your videos and your amazing dance moves. But being in your presence, you're such a soft, sweet guy that is clearly so talented beyond words. I just can't thank you enough for taking the time because I know you're on tour and you're so busy. This really meant a lot to me and my fans and your fans. So thank you, Post.

No, thank you very much. Thank you guys for having me.

Let's go play beer pong.

I don't see why not.

Wait, I have a gift for you. What? Okay, so I know you're really happy. Yes, ma'am. But we're never perfect. Yes, ma'am. So this is merch for you. Unwell.

This is amazing.

Yeah.

And it's...

It's... Yeah. Feel it? Yeah. Oh, and it's puff print like your nipples.

Oh, it's a set? It's puff print like my nippies. It hides it perfectly. Well, that's actually so funny because we got a gift for you.

No post. Oh, my God. Look at us. This is so sweet, guys. Thank you so much. You're amazing.

Thank you for coming on. No, you're fucking amazing. Thank you. Oh, my God. We did it.

She said she time little money need a big boy. Pull a 20-inch blaze like a little toy. Now, as everybody flocking near the decoy. Shorty mixing up the Vaca with the lead core. G-wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon, all the housewives pulling up. I got a lot of choice. 720s bumping fall out boy. You was talking shit in the beginning. Back when I was feeling more forgiven. I know I pissed you off to see me winning. See the hit glue in my mouth and I be grinning. Hundred bands in my pocket is so on me. Hundred deep when I roll like the army. Get more bottles, these bottles are lonely. It's a moment when I show up, God, I'm saying, wow. Hundred bands in my pocket, it's so on me. You and your grandma will probably know me. Get more bottles, these bottles are lonely. It's a moment when I show up, God, I'm saying, wow. Everywhere I go, catch me on the block like a Mutambo. 750 Lamo in the Utah snow, drunk in the front like that shit done boy. Cut the roof off like a nip tuck. Pull it to the house with some big bus.

Turn the kitchen counter to a strip club. Me and Dre came for the When I got quiet, all of you all disappeared. Before I dropped Sonny, none of you all really care. Now they always say congratulations to the kid. And this is not a 40, but I'm pouring out this shit. You serve a lot, but I got money. Met another hit because I got bought now. Always going for another pump. Fourth down, last call, Hell, Mary Prescott, touched down. Hundred bands in my pocket is on me. Hundred deep when I roll like the army. Get my bottles, these bottles are lonely. It's a moment when I show up, God, I'm You liked me.

Hard stuff. Okay, I pulled a little bit away. I thought you were way better than your friend. I'm really proud. I love you. I've won names. I've been like, boom, boom. I have to stay trained. You are nervous. I have to stay trained. I would be, too. And I was. You were doing it in front of post. You were so good. That is wrong. It's a big car. I know. It's hard. I know. This part was wiped out.

I'm in the mix of toasting making it all okay. When I come back down, it doesn't feel the same. Now I'm sitting around waiting for the world to end all day. Because I couldn't leave you without a try. You break me then I break my rules. Last time was the last time too. It's fucked up, I know, but I'm still. I started at a party smoking in the car with you. Seven days you know I'm fighting at the ball with you. Say that I'm sorry, tell me what I got to do. Because the chemical, it's chemical. No chemical, it's chemical. Every time I'm ready to make a change, you turn around and fuck out all my brains. I ain't trying to fight fate, it's too late to say your face. I can't get away, maybe there's no mistakes. You break me then I break my rules. Last time was the last time too. It's fucked up, I know, but I'm still. I found a party, swimming in the car with you. 7 Nation army, fighting at the bar with you. Tell you that I'm sorry, tell me what I got to do 'cause I can't go, it's chemical.

No, I can't go, It's chemical. No, I can't go. It's chemical. No, I can't go. It's chemical. Say that I'm sorry. Tell me what I got to do. Say that I'm sorry. Tell me what I got to do. No, I can't let go. It's chemical.

Cheers, motherfuckers.