Hi. My name is Nikki Glaser. I feel ecstatic, honored, and quite tan about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Fall is here. Hear the yell back to school.

Ring the bell.

Bend the shoes.

Walk and lose. Climb the fence.

Books and pens.

I can tell that we are gonna. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey, there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien. Needs a friend. Sitting here with Sona Movsesian.

Why did you say it's so muh?

I'm just happy to see you. You're wearing. You know what? You're wearing very bright. Is that a teal? I don't know my colors.

I don't know, but it matches this tape.

There's a piece of tape that tells you where to sit. Yes. So that your camera is on the right spot. Yeah, I know.

I don't know where to put it back. Oh, my God.

You're adrift. Great. And then. How are you, Matt?

I'm good.

Yeah? You're all right?

Good. Yeah.

Okay. I'm feeling pretty good myself.

Hey, you're wearing. Is that a James Bond shirt?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Is that. I don't understand what your shirt says. It's directed by. It says directed by John Glenn. Yeah, it's just John Glenn, the astronaut. That's two n's.

John Glenn, the director.

But which one? Which. What did he direct?

Well, he directed all the Roger Moore movies for the most part. The later ones.

Oh, yeah, Star wars. Those were always considered the best ones. Hey, can we watch James Bond? Sure. Please say it's Roger Moore. He gets so old. I get it.

I got a soft spot for that guy.

I'm telling you. The last Roger Moore James Bond movie.

Yeah. He's 57.

He's 57. Oh, my God. Because there are fight scenes wherever it looks like he's being careful not to hurt his hip.

Yeah.

And then the love interest or the young woman, he puts her in bed and puts a blanket over her. And then he falls asleep in a chair and watches her sleep to make sure she's okay. Why don't you make her some hot soup? This isn't the James Bond I signed up for.

He goes and makes a quiche.

He does?

Yeah.

Cause remember that joke from the eighties that real men don't eat quiche? Yeah, don't eat quiche. They were playing on that. But he does. He literally goes and makes her a quiche.

Yeah. Yeah, man. Okay.

I'm not defending it.

Just saying they had. It was good that they had a reboot.

I'm not sending it. I'm promoting it.

Who's the bond that's after? Because Roger Moore, you know, he's great, but he was around for a long time. He got a little long in the tooth. He did the most, and then he did the most James Bond, if you.

Don'T count Connery's unofficial turn. And never say never again.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right. Well, see, this is good, because I was being told recently how popular this podcast was and how it appeals to so many people, and I thought, let's go a little niche and just shed some fans. And that's what we're doing right now. Talking about. We're talking about Roger Moore.

Yeah, but I think you were gonna say who came after him.

Yeah.

Timothy Dalton.

Timothy Dalton. Good.

I'm glad.

He's pretty good.

Yeah, no, I'm glad we talked about it.

He only did two. Underused, underrated. He never got his real bond movie because he never.

He wasn't. He was very fierce as Bond.

He was kind of proto Daniel Craig, you know, before his time.

Daniel Craig.

Yeah. There you go.

That's one I know and I know. Pierce Brosnan.

Pierce Brosnan. Pierce Brosnan was. I mean, he looked like he was born to play James Bond, but then Daniel Craig came along, and you're like, what? This guy's. It.

He's amazing.

He's amazing. Well, I don't think we've ever had an unusual opening.

Well, we haven't even talked about Connery or lazenby yet.

No, no, no.

Yeah, let's go. Let's do it.

This is just nothing. You know what? And I'm gonna say, I think usually when we just wing it, we get some terrific openings. I think this is a turd. I really do.

I agree.

But just. You brought it up. I didn't bring it up.

I be the new bond. Who should be the new bond. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about that.

I have this. I mean, since you're asking, and since we're looking to lose listeners.

Yeah.

I think they shouldn't do an actor in a string of films. They should do various period set movies. Idris Elba in the nineties, Michael Fassbender in the fifties. You know what I mean? Who's in with me?

Well, guess what I'm going to say. I don't think that's a dumb idea.

That's not. That's. That's a confusing way to say.

I'm going to say this. I don't not support you. I don't not support.

Complimented.

I don't. That's like a quadruple negative of dumb ideas that not, not among them.

Are you, are you. Or are you stroking stupidity?

Stupid idea that not sure it be, says I.

That's your new bond right there.

I don't know. I think, you know. Listen, .Yes. So I was just never outdoors. That wasn't me knowing I was going to be on tv. That was just. My lifestyle was, oh, you know, another book about Teddy Roosevelt. I'll sit in this cave and read it.Do you like the outdoors? Are you like a. I do, actually.I do like the outdoors.But I've seen you hiking with Kevin.Yeah, I don't.That's the only time comedians ever do, ever go outside.And then you're just tolerating his endless bits, of which I love, by the way. No one adores Kevin Nealon more than I do, and he's one of my role models. But I swear to God, if I called him up and told him my father had just been murdered, he'd do a bit right away.Yeah, I know.And then I'd be like, no, no, really. They just. They were just, I'm coming. I'm at the crime scene. And he'd be like, well, I'm better than the scene of the crime. You know? He'd be like, doing bits.Yep, yep.And so, no, he's an empty, empty man.Yeah. I pull up his. His episode with you all the time when I'm in. Just need, just to feel uplifted. I think probably people tell you that all the time, but that is just such a classic 20 minutes run that you guys had together where you were, Eduardo. You were timing them to see how long, if they could be, do a regular interview.We couldn't. We couldn't so far.We failed in the end so much.At the end, Kevin's just crying.He was crying.He was crying. And he went, because we've known each other since 1988, and he went, you've just done so well like crazy. That's just like, acid in me back home because we knew I probably shouldn't be driving. And my hand started burning. And I've talked about this, but underneath my wedding, which burns anyway, because I think it was a. Yeah, I mean, come on, that was just a mistake. I should be out there fucking and sucking. We're mostly sucking.Oh, no, wait.Or fucking. I don't know. I'm all confused now. But anyway, underneath my wedding ring, it was burning and burning and burning. And I took it off and it was all discolored. It was just. Cause, yeah, it's an acid. And it got trapped underneath.Was everyone in the crew just like, all of a sudden triage to you? Because everyone seems so shocked. And I've talked to some people that have worked on the show and said, no one. No one's ever done anything like that. And we were all really concerned.And what I wasn't getting a lot of concern. You know what I was getting? Oh, this will get some clicks.Oh, they were so excited.This will be good for Buzzfeed.Oh, so good. But I, whatever happens to him.And, hey, if he dies, more clicks.Exactly.That's the mood. That's what I was getting from that.I always sign whenever someone, I never know what to, like, write when people are signing things. And I'm just like, if I die tragically, sell this for a lot, because it will. That is just writing someone, like giving someone $1,000 if I die in some crazy way. And then I only write that 100 times. That's 100 people out there that have me predicting some crate like that is giving someone a gift. But I want to say that, like, I relate to the pain thing because I wear, you know, like, I try to dress up when I'm on stage. I try to, like, live this kind of, like, pop star life that I might not ever have in my own life. When I'm on stage and I dress up and I wear these heels, and after the show, people are like, how did you do that for an hour, 20 minutes, you're up there, and I don't feel it all. But the second. The second I step out of the spotlight, my feet, I throw them off my I hadn't discovered you. I really wouldn't. There's just no, there's no way. Like, you. Your show opened my eyes to a thing that was just. I became. I'm a huge swiftie now, and I always talk about my obsessions through the years, and you were my first, like, obsession where I go, wow, this is more Taylor Swift. Yes, it's transferred now to her.Happily passed the crown to Taylor Swift. I want to wrap it up, but have you. Have you met Taylor Swift?I met her before. I was a huge fan, so I met her before it, because now I feel like you are.So you are a famous fan of hers, and I feel like it has to happen. Like, we need to orchestrate a meeting.Have you ever I've had a really good run.You have?Yeah. I've enjoyed it. I've had a good time.It's about time.And no one should feel sorry. Cause trust me, I did this to myself. Yeah, that's true.No, I know you did.So anyway, medical science. Yeah.I just think you should take care of yourself. Cause, you know, what am I thinking about?Yes.I'm only thinking about myself.You know what? Would it calm you?What do I do?Can I say something? Would it calm you if I told you that there was a little something carved out for you should anything happen to me?Oh, my God.Yeah.Yes. Now I want to kill you.Careful. What are you doing? What are you doing? No, it's very specific. If I'm stabbed to death with an armenian dagger.Oh, no.As I put it away, a circa 1902 armenian dagger. How did he die? He was choked to death using dried apricots. It was rolled up to the tune.Of the saber dance.Not the masturbating bear? No, don't say the bear jizz part. Then when people are listening to it, they're going to say it.The other thing is going to be the coroner is going to be running the blood test and say, oh, my God, his garlic levels are through the roof.It's like calling cards.It's the garlic killer. The killings are focused in Altadena and Glenda.What kind of is this guy someone.Is making is shoving way too much garlic into a pita and forcing gangly anglos to eat it.Ganglos.Ganglos. Gangly anglos. Hey, we got another ganglo. Went down. Don't tell me. Yeah, Altadena. No. Oh, get over there. And then they can smell the garlic before they even do the blood test.I got a deceased male ganglo on the streets.We got a ganglo?What am I called? The garlic, Griffith, I want a cool name.Oh. Oh, come on.Improv people. Do it.The Armaniac. The Armaniac, that's pretty cool. Well, the Armaniac is loose. Another ganglo was found, a six foot, four inch, red haired, white, pasty Irishman with garlic levels 9000 times the normal level. Oh, well, who found him? A jogger. Well, a jogger was a mile away and smelled a lot of garlic, so altered her course to go by. And there was the ganglo. And then we knew the Armaniac was back. All right, well, don't worry, I've carved something. A little something out for you later. Conan's gone. What do I get? Here you go, Sona. A little fruit tree.Oh, that's nice. I take a fruit tree.I have a tree in my backyard that you.The pomegranate tree.You're welcome.It's responsible for all the good things in your life.Very nice. Yeah, you go on every day and stumble pomegranates. Anyway, it's fake. Okay, we can edit this last part out. Beware the armaniac.Conan O'Brien need a friend with Conan O'Brien, sonam of session and Matt Gorley produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe. Subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

.

Yes. So I was just never outdoors. That wasn't me knowing I was going to be on tv. That was just. My lifestyle was, oh, you know, another book about Teddy Roosevelt. I'll sit in this cave and read it.

Do you like the outdoors? Are you like a. I do, actually.

I do like the outdoors.

But I've seen you hiking with Kevin.

Yeah, I don't.

That's the only time comedians ever do, ever go outside.

And then you're just tolerating his endless bits, of which I love, by the way. No one adores Kevin Nealon more than I do, and he's one of my role models. But I swear to God, if I called him up and told him my father had just been murdered, he'd do a bit right away.

Yeah, I know.

And then I'd be like, no, no, really. They just. They were just, I'm coming. I'm at the crime scene. And he'd be like, well, I'm better than the scene of the crime. You know? He'd be like, doing bits.

Yep, yep.

And so, no, he's an empty, empty man.

Yeah. I pull up his. His episode with you all the time when I'm in. Just need, just to feel uplifted. I think probably people tell you that all the time, but that is just such a classic 20 minutes run that you guys had together where you were, Eduardo. You were timing them to see how long, if they could be, do a regular interview.

We couldn't. We couldn't so far.

We failed in the end so much.

At the end, Kevin's just crying.

He was crying.

He was crying. And he went, because we've known each other since 1988, and he went, you've just done so well like crazy. That's just like, acid in me back home because we knew I probably shouldn't be driving. And my hand started burning. And I've talked about this, but underneath my wedding, which burns anyway, because I think it was a. Yeah, I mean, come on, that was just a mistake. I should be out there fucking and sucking. We're mostly sucking.Oh, no, wait.Or fucking. I don't know. I'm all confused now. But anyway, underneath my wedding ring, it was burning and burning and burning. And I took it off and it was all discolored. It was just. Cause, yeah, it's an acid. And it got trapped underneath.Was everyone in the crew just like, all of a sudden triage to you? Because everyone seems so shocked. And I've talked to some people that have worked on the show and said, no one. No one's ever done anything like that. And we were all really concerned.And what I wasn't getting a lot of concern. You know what I was getting? Oh, this will get some clicks.Oh, they were so excited.This will be good for Buzzfeed.Oh, so good. But I, whatever happens to him.And, hey, if he dies, more clicks.Exactly.That's the mood. That's what I was getting from that.I always sign whenever someone, I never know what to, like, write when people are signing things. And I'm just like, if I die tragically, sell this for a lot, because it will. That is just writing someone, like giving someone $1,000 if I die in some crazy way. And then I only write that 100 times. That's 100 people out there that have me predicting some crate like that is giving someone a gift. But I want to say that, like, I relate to the pain thing because I wear, you know, like, I try to dress up when I'm on stage. I try to, like, live this kind of, like, pop star life that I might not ever have in my own life. When I'm on stage and I dress up and I wear these heels, and after the show, people are like, how did you do that for an hour, 20 minutes, you're up there, and I don't feel it all. But the second. The second I step out of the spotlight, my feet, I throw them off my I hadn't discovered you. I really wouldn't. There's just no, there's no way. Like, you. Your show opened my eyes to a thing that was just. I became. I'm a huge swiftie now, and I always talk about my obsessions through the years, and you were my first, like, obsession where I go, wow, this is more Taylor Swift. Yes, it's transferred now to her.Happily passed the crown to Taylor Swift. I want to wrap it up, but have you. Have you met Taylor Swift?I met her before. I was a huge fan, so I met her before it, because now I feel like you are.So you are a famous fan of hers, and I feel like it has to happen. Like, we need to orchestrate a meeting.Have you ever I've had a really good run.You have?Yeah. I've enjoyed it. I've had a good time.It's about time.And no one should feel sorry. Cause trust me, I did this to myself. Yeah, that's true.No, I know you did.So anyway, medical science. Yeah.I just think you should take care of yourself. Cause, you know, what am I thinking about?Yes.I'm only thinking about myself.You know what? Would it calm you?What do I do?Can I say something? Would it calm you if I told you that there was a little something carved out for you should anything happen to me?Oh, my God.Yeah.Yes. Now I want to kill you.Careful. What are you doing? What are you doing? No, it's very specific. If I'm stabbed to death with an armenian dagger.Oh, no.As I put it away, a circa 1902 armenian dagger. How did he die? He was choked to death using dried apricots. It was rolled up to the tune.Of the saber dance.Not the masturbating bear? No, don't say the bear jizz part. Then when people are listening to it, they're going to say it.The other thing is going to be the coroner is going to be running the blood test and say, oh, my God, his garlic levels are through the roof.It's like calling cards.It's the garlic killer. The killings are focused in Altadena and Glenda.What kind of is this guy someone.Is making is shoving way too much garlic into a pita and forcing gangly anglos to eat it.Ganglos.Ganglos. Gangly anglos. Hey, we got another ganglo. Went down. Don't tell me. Yeah, Altadena. No. Oh, get over there. And then they can smell the garlic before they even do the blood test.I got a deceased male ganglo on the streets.We got a ganglo?What am I called? The garlic, Griffith, I want a cool name.Oh. Oh, come on.Improv people. Do it.The Armaniac. The Armaniac, that's pretty cool. Well, the Armaniac is loose. Another ganglo was found, a six foot, four inch, red haired, white, pasty Irishman with garlic levels 9000 times the normal level. Oh, well, who found him? A jogger. Well, a jogger was a mile away and smelled a lot of garlic, so altered her course to go by. And there was the ganglo. And then we knew the Armaniac was back. All right, well, don't worry, I've carved something. A little something out for you later. Conan's gone. What do I get? Here you go, Sona. A little fruit tree.Oh, that's nice. I take a fruit tree.I have a tree in my backyard that you.The pomegranate tree.You're welcome.It's responsible for all the good things in your life.Very nice. Yeah, you go on every day and stumble pomegranates. Anyway, it's fake. Okay, we can edit this last part out. Beware the armaniac.Conan O'Brien need a friend with Conan O'Brien, sonam of session and Matt Gorley produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe. Subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

like crazy. That's just like, acid in me back home because we knew I probably shouldn't be driving. And my hand started burning. And I've talked about this, but underneath my wedding, which burns anyway, because I think it was a. Yeah, I mean, come on, that was just a mistake. I should be out there fucking and sucking. We're mostly sucking.

Oh, no, wait.

Or fucking. I don't know. I'm all confused now. But anyway, underneath my wedding ring, it was burning and burning and burning. And I took it off and it was all discolored. It was just. Cause, yeah, it's an acid. And it got trapped underneath.

Was everyone in the crew just like, all of a sudden triage to you? Because everyone seems so shocked. And I've talked to some people that have worked on the show and said, no one. No one's ever done anything like that. And we were all really concerned.

And what I wasn't getting a lot of concern. You know what I was getting? Oh, this will get some clicks.

Oh, they were so excited.

This will be good for Buzzfeed.

Oh, so good. But I, whatever happens to him.

And, hey, if he dies, more clicks.

Exactly.

That's the mood. That's what I was getting from that.

I always sign whenever someone, I never know what to, like, write when people are signing things. And I'm just like, if I die tragically, sell this for a lot, because it will. That is just writing someone, like giving someone $1,000 if I die in some crazy way. And then I only write that 100 times. That's 100 people out there that have me predicting some crate like that is giving someone a gift. But I want to say that, like, I relate to the pain thing because I wear, you know, like, I try to dress up when I'm on stage. I try to, like, live this kind of, like, pop star life that I might not ever have in my own life. When I'm on stage and I dress up and I wear these heels, and after the show, people are like, how did you do that for an hour, 20 minutes, you're up there, and I don't feel it all. But the second. The second I step out of the spotlight, my feet, I throw them off my I hadn't discovered you. I really wouldn't. There's just no, there's no way. Like, you. Your show opened my eyes to a thing that was just. I became. I'm a huge swiftie now, and I always talk about my obsessions through the years, and you were my first, like, obsession where I go, wow, this is more Taylor Swift. Yes, it's transferred now to her.Happily passed the crown to Taylor Swift. I want to wrap it up, but have you. Have you met Taylor Swift?I met her before. I was a huge fan, so I met her before it, because now I feel like you are.So you are a famous fan of hers, and I feel like it has to happen. Like, we need to orchestrate a meeting.Have you ever I've had a really good run.You have?Yeah. I've enjoyed it. I've had a good time.It's about time.And no one should feel sorry. Cause trust me, I did this to myself. Yeah, that's true.No, I know you did.So anyway, medical science. Yeah.I just think you should take care of yourself. Cause, you know, what am I thinking about?Yes.I'm only thinking about myself.You know what? Would it calm you?What do I do?Can I say something? Would it calm you if I told you that there was a little something carved out for you should anything happen to me?Oh, my God.Yeah.Yes. Now I want to kill you.Careful. What are you doing? What are you doing? No, it's very specific. If I'm stabbed to death with an armenian dagger.Oh, no.As I put it away, a circa 1902 armenian dagger. How did he die? He was choked to death using dried apricots. It was rolled up to the tune.Of the saber dance.Not the masturbating bear? No, don't say the bear jizz part. Then when people are listening to it, they're going to say it.The other thing is going to be the coroner is going to be running the blood test and say, oh, my God, his garlic levels are through the roof.It's like calling cards.It's the garlic killer. The killings are focused in Altadena and Glenda.What kind of is this guy someone.Is making is shoving way too much garlic into a pita and forcing gangly anglos to eat it.Ganglos.Ganglos. Gangly anglos. Hey, we got another ganglo. Went down. Don't tell me. Yeah, Altadena. No. Oh, get over there. And then they can smell the garlic before they even do the blood test.I got a deceased male ganglo on the streets.We got a ganglo?What am I called? The garlic, Griffith, I want a cool name.Oh. Oh, come on.Improv people. Do it.The Armaniac. The Armaniac, that's pretty cool. Well, the Armaniac is loose. Another ganglo was found, a six foot, four inch, red haired, white, pasty Irishman with garlic levels 9000 times the normal level. Oh, well, who found him? A jogger. Well, a jogger was a mile away and smelled a lot of garlic, so altered her course to go by. And there was the ganglo. And then we knew the Armaniac was back. All right, well, don't worry, I've carved something. A little something out for you later. Conan's gone. What do I get? Here you go, Sona. A little fruit tree.Oh, that's nice. I take a fruit tree.I have a tree in my backyard that you.The pomegranate tree.You're welcome.It's responsible for all the good things in your life.Very nice. Yeah, you go on every day and stumble pomegranates. Anyway, it's fake. Okay, we can edit this last part out. Beware the armaniac.Conan O'Brien need a friend with Conan O'Brien, sonam of session and Matt Gorley produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe. Subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

I hadn't discovered you. I really wouldn't. There's just no, there's no way. Like, you. Your show opened my eyes to a thing that was just. I became. I'm a huge swiftie now, and I always talk about my obsessions through the years, and you were my first, like, obsession where I go, wow, this is more Taylor Swift. Yes, it's transferred now to her.

Happily passed the crown to Taylor Swift. I want to wrap it up, but have you. Have you met Taylor Swift?

I met her before. I was a huge fan, so I met her before it, because now I feel like you are.

So you are a famous fan of hers, and I feel like it has to happen. Like, we need to orchestrate a meeting.

Have you ever I've had a really good run.You have?Yeah. I've enjoyed it. I've had a good time.It's about time.And no one should feel sorry. Cause trust me, I did this to myself. Yeah, that's true.No, I know you did.So anyway, medical science. Yeah.I just think you should take care of yourself. Cause, you know, what am I thinking about?Yes.I'm only thinking about myself.You know what? Would it calm you?What do I do?Can I say something? Would it calm you if I told you that there was a little something carved out for you should anything happen to me?Oh, my God.Yeah.Yes. Now I want to kill you.Careful. What are you doing? What are you doing? No, it's very specific. If I'm stabbed to death with an armenian dagger.Oh, no.As I put it away, a circa 1902 armenian dagger. How did he die? He was choked to death using dried apricots. It was rolled up to the tune.Of the saber dance.Not the masturbating bear? No, don't say the bear jizz part. Then when people are listening to it, they're going to say it.The other thing is going to be the coroner is going to be running the blood test and say, oh, my God, his garlic levels are through the roof.It's like calling cards.It's the garlic killer. The killings are focused in Altadena and Glenda.What kind of is this guy someone.Is making is shoving way too much garlic into a pita and forcing gangly anglos to eat it.Ganglos.Ganglos. Gangly anglos. Hey, we got another ganglo. Went down. Don't tell me. Yeah, Altadena. No. Oh, get over there. And then they can smell the garlic before they even do the blood test.I got a deceased male ganglo on the streets.We got a ganglo?What am I called? The garlic, Griffith, I want a cool name.Oh. Oh, come on.Improv people. Do it.The Armaniac. The Armaniac, that's pretty cool. Well, the Armaniac is loose. Another ganglo was found, a six foot, four inch, red haired, white, pasty Irishman with garlic levels 9000 times the normal level. Oh, well, who found him? A jogger. Well, a jogger was a mile away and smelled a lot of garlic, so altered her course to go by. And there was the ganglo. And then we knew the Armaniac was back. All right, well, don't worry, I've carved something. A little something out for you later. Conan's gone. What do I get? Here you go, Sona. A little fruit tree.Oh, that's nice. I take a fruit tree.I have a tree in my backyard that you.The pomegranate tree.You're welcome.It's responsible for all the good things in your life.Very nice. Yeah, you go on every day and stumble pomegranates. Anyway, it's fake. Okay, we can edit this last part out. Beware the armaniac.Conan O'Brien need a friend with Conan O'Brien, sonam of session and Matt Gorley produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe. Subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

I've had a really good run.

You have?

Yeah. I've enjoyed it. I've had a good time.

It's about time.

And no one should feel sorry. Cause trust me, I did this to myself. Yeah, that's true.

No, I know you did.

So anyway, medical science. Yeah.

I just think you should take care of yourself. Cause, you know, what am I thinking about?

Yes.

I'm only thinking about myself.

You know what? Would it calm you?

What do I do?

Can I say something? Would it calm you if I told you that there was a little something carved out for you should anything happen to me?

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Yes. Now I want to kill you.

Careful. What are you doing? What are you doing? No, it's very specific. If I'm stabbed to death with an armenian dagger.

Oh, no.

As I put it away, a circa 1902 armenian dagger. How did he die? He was choked to death using dried apricots. It was rolled up to the tune.

Of the saber dance.

Not the masturbating bear? No, don't say the bear jizz part. Then when people are listening to it, they're going to say it.

The other thing is going to be the coroner is going to be running the blood test and say, oh, my God, his garlic levels are through the roof.

It's like calling cards.

It's the garlic killer. The killings are focused in Altadena and Glenda.

What kind of is this guy someone.

Is making is shoving way too much garlic into a pita and forcing gangly anglos to eat it.

Ganglos.

Ganglos. Gangly anglos. Hey, we got another ganglo. Went down. Don't tell me. Yeah, Altadena. No. Oh, get over there. And then they can smell the garlic before they even do the blood test.

I got a deceased male ganglo on the streets.

We got a ganglo?

What am I called? The garlic, Griffith, I want a cool name.

Oh. Oh, come on.

Improv people. Do it.

The Armaniac. The Armaniac, that's pretty cool. Well, the Armaniac is loose. Another ganglo was found, a six foot, four inch, red haired, white, pasty Irishman with garlic levels 9000 times the normal level. Oh, well, who found him? A jogger. Well, a jogger was a mile away and smelled a lot of garlic, so altered her course to go by. And there was the ganglo. And then we knew the Armaniac was back. All right, well, don't worry, I've carved something. A little something out for you later. Conan's gone. What do I get? Here you go, Sona. A little fruit tree.

Oh, that's nice. I take a fruit tree.

I have a tree in my backyard that you.

The pomegranate tree.

You're welcome.

It's responsible for all the good things in your life.

Very nice. Yeah, you go on every day and stumble pomegranates. Anyway, it's fake. Okay, we can edit this last part out. Beware the armaniac.

Conan O'Brien need a friend with Conan O'Brien, sonam of session and Matt Gorley produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe. Subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.