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1912, Summer s'mores with Conan and the chill chums, a six part series with Conan O'Brien, Jeff Sessian and Matt Gorley. Let's get started. Well, we're out of the studio and into the night.

What?

Sure. I want to paint a picture because I think that's what one must do in this medium. I want to let our fans know that this is a very special summer s'mores, chill, chums, whatever you want to call it. Because not only are we out of the studio, we are at Sona's house, and Sona's house is in Altadena, California. This is not a long jaunt for you, is it? Goarly. Cause you live in Pasadena, right?

It was 15 minutes door to door.

Okay, let me.

It was so nice.

Did I know you were gonna talk about how far it is to come here?

Is it okay if I explain my journey? My journey began six days ago. A series of busses, three horses died underneath me. There was a period on foot. I took a ship. It's absolutely incredible. I went, first of all, from my house to our studio. Now, you guys know that I live on an abandoned oil rig that's off the shore of Santa Monica, and I live there because of my great wealth and my eccentricities.

And most of the time, you just wear a hard hat and cut off jean shorts, and that's it out there.

Yeah. Yeah. And I actually, for a while, I lived there just to be eccentric. And then I realized I might as well get some oil out of this. So I often just work there, getting the oil out of the seabed, and I make a good money that way. Anyway, I go from western part of Los Angeles.

Yes.

And then I go to Larchmont, and that only got me, like, a quarter of the way to here.

Did you try driving in a car?

I did.

Ok. Because you were talking about a bus and a horse.

Yeah.

And I'm just curious. I guess I was doing into an automobile.

I guess I was allowing my comedic flights of fancy to get the better of me.

Oh, that was. That was supposed to be funny.

It was very funny. Hence all the laughs.

We speak a different language of comedy up here in the mountains.

So, anyway, I'm sorry.

I didn't know that's what you were going for.

I.

That was really funny.

It took a long time to get here. It took a long time to get here.

You know, there's two of us that live here. You're the one that lives far, not Sona.

Yeah, we. You live far. And you know what? I commute to Larchmont all the time for work, and it's not that bad.

I think it's this time of day. There was a lot of traffic also.

You're sick.

I'm fine, actually, you know, yours sound very sick.

Yeah.

And I think you don't.

Bad show business guys.

You're not very, like, bad show business. Complainy about.

You're not well.

It's bad show business. You never tell people that you're not well. I got a little bit of a chest cold about a week ago. Normally, I wouldn't say anything about it.

People can hear your voice.

What's that?

People can hear your voice. Well, you don't sound normal.

I don't sound normal? I actually sound better, probably.

You do sound a little sexy.

You know what? Whenever I get a cold, I sound the way I should sound as a man.

Really?

Yeah. I have kind of a rasp to my voice.

It is pretty cool.

Yeah. I wish I smoked. But anyway, I, uh. I'm feeling much better now. I just still got a little bit of the rasp. Make my day. Yeah. Remember that one?

Yeah.

Why do you ask him? Everybody remembers that one. You were too young. Yeah, but I. I think you don't have to be older to know that. That's a famous line.

Make my day. Remember when Reagan used that? Remember when he tried to use it in one of his speeches and it was a big hit.

That I do not remember.

If you think Congress is gonna try not to pass that bill. Make my day.

So sexy.

Do you remember that, Matt?

I kind of remember that.

Okay.

So sexy.

Well, I took us on a bad road.

You're losing even me now. Okay, wait, so now that you're here, though, you made it. What do you think? It's nice to be up in the mountains here, isn't it?

Sure. Yeah. I'm gonna be honest with you. I drove. I was driven here in a very tiny car.

Wait, you're complaining and you were driven here?

Well, when you hear which car I was in, okay, I was in David's car. Now, David drives a car. I looked up his car. His car is technically a croissant on wheels. It's a tiny little machine.

He's the make and model.

It's a BMW. But they don't even put the b. It's just the MW.

It's a mini Cooper.

It's just motorworks.

He drives a mini Cooper.

No, I know, but he got a mini Cooper that's cut in half.

It's a roller scale.

Yeah.

Model.

Several times, his car has been mistaken for a breath mint on the highway. And so David was driving me, and so I am crammed next to him. He's driving. And then David proceeds to tell me some very upsetting news. Now, you'd think his job would be to calm me on the ride over. I'm talent.

Yeah.

First of all, he should have rented, like, a limo or something. But no, we're in his.

And was David to drive that limo, would he be in a little chauffeur's cab?

I would make him wear a very tiny chauffeur's hat. But David went on, David told me that he. He said, oh, Conan, you know this the site Dumois?

Yeah.

Where they have celebrity sightings. He said, on Dumois. David, you want to step over here for a second? It's fine. It's really. It's. There's a microphone right there. David's here. He just unfolded himself from the car. David, is your car okay, or did a bird eat?

Everything's fine.

Okay. All right. Okay. You told me, first of all, that dumois listed a couple of celebrity asks when they travel hotel rooms. They go to a hotel room. Oh, and you listed two, and then you had what is supposedly mine. Yeah. So can you do the other two first?

And then JLo requested a bathtub full of evian water. Where's the other one?

I've heard that about Nicole Kidman. Things are turning into urban legends.

Keep going.

Let's see.

Anyway, there was another one.

Request a VCR and blackout curtains. And then you go to Conan, and it says, Conan requests a basket of muffins.

Basket of muffins. Now, first of all, Sona, you've worked with me many years. I've never requested a basket of muffins. I don't mind that they make stuff up. That's part of the game. I know it. But can't they make up something that's kind of cool?

I know.

I don't know. That seems pretty on point for you.

A basket of muffins.

A basket of muffins with this photo.

Of you holding your vinyl.

Oh, my God.

Conan requests a basket of muffins.

So picture me, person in show business.

Picture me, you know, crammed into this tiny clown car. Apologies to BMW with David. And David says, oh, and I've got some news for you. And he tells me that the world. Cause all the world knows about dumois, thinks that I'm some muffin addict holed up in a hotel room, just gorging my fat irish face with muffins. And then. And we're driving and driving and driving, and I'm watching these hawks circle circle, our little chicklet of a car. Cause they think it's a breadcrumb rolling down the highway.

There's a lot of hawks here, you know?

And then. So I was in a bad mood when I got here.

What if it said, like, oh, you request, like, you know, the bag of dildos?

They don't come so much worse. They don't come in bags. They come in packages of. For.

They come in steel suitcases.

Well, I'm just saying, like, I wouldn't want to be the avion person because that just makes you sound like a dick, but, like, a basket of muffins. Hey, you're nice guy.

You're the muffin man.

You're a muffin guy. You're the muffin.

No, I would want it to be Conan.

Now, I know the muffin man. Conan wants the muffin man.

He wants the autobiography of General Ulysses S. Grant, a copy of it in his room, and, like, a shot at tequila. That's what I want people to think about me.

But you want that every time you travel. How many biographies of us grand are.

You can read that thing again and again and again.

Now, you realize you're going to start getting baskets of muffin in your dressing rooms wherever you go.

That's pretty cool, though. That is cool. I think that there's.

I don't want a basket of muffins.

Does an egg McMuffin count as a muffin?

No, I don't think so. It's a McMuffin. Once you put a MC in front of something, it's not that thing anymore. You know, a corn McCobb is. No. Is not a corn on the cob at all. That's just a rule.

Okay.

Mick takes away all the properties of the noun that follows it. Yep, we're here in Altadena. That was hand. So we are here. Oh, you know what's really cute?

Get to that point.

You know, it's really cute. And I like to look around me and observe things because that's what's made me a good broadcaster. Is that right now I just looked and the curtains parted and two angelic faces looked out right after you just.

Yelled out, bag of dildos.

But they never listened to this podcast.

Sonus twins Mikey and Charlie are peering out the window and I'm waving at them and they're wondering, why is Jane lynch waving back at them from the yard? Hi, guys. They're there. They're staring at us. They're probably very excited. They were very proud to show me their room. Yes, they showed me their room.

Every time they get something new, like a pillow, they need to show everybody. They're so boring right now.

Terrible thing to say. These are your children.

Who wants to see a pillow? Do you know any people they showed their blankets to like, okay, it's a blanket. I think it's because it's them and they're. They've never, like, had new things like new blankets before, so it's exciting.

You're underestimating him, though, because all he.

Wants to do is they have few things just. That's probably why they treasure.

That's not true.

They have very.

Kids are very well taken care of. They're in good. They're in a good place.

Well, you know, reach a lot. One toy and a cookie at Christmas and that's about it. You run a strict household. It's beautiful here, though. It's very nice. There's a nice marine layer. Would you call that a marine layer?

I don't. Can you.

Okay. You're a fun group.

Oh, I'm sorry. We're not talking about the marine layer.

Sorry there's not a bag of muffins here for you.

Starting the party with the marine layer. Let's talk more about the weather.

You came in so cranky and you're getting on us.

I know you're. Cause you're sick, and that's what I'm saying. You get cranky.

You do not harp on people being sick. You don't do that in show business. No, you don't. We're in show business, and that's where we're different. I grew up in show business. Show business is in my blood. You hijacked show business?

That's a doctor. Your mom's a lawyer.

My dad's not a real doctor. Has to see his certificate. You get a lot of mumbling and shumbling.

No, but, you know.

Uh uh. What? Would you got something?

No. I was gonna say again how you're sick. Cause you sound sick, and then you get grumpy when you're sick sometimes, and so now you're not at all.

I'm in a good mood. Only.

Did you have to drive far to get here? I think you started in a. In a. In an angry spot.

I don't think I started in an angry spot. I think my staff, they've been squeezing me a little bit lately.

Whoa. You're blaming your staff?

Yes. All great leaders blame their staff. Stalin shot every staff he ever had. Listen, did I fly to New York to do the upfront? Sure. Did I fly back and do a podcast the next day? Yes, I did. Am I constantly shoved around and told, go here, go there? Yes, I am. I give and I give and I give, and what do I get out of it? What do I get out of it? Besides great wealth and a series of properties that are just stunning? I think that everyone here owes me an apology.

Nobody owes you an apology.

Okay.

But I'm glad you came here.

Yes. Yes. That was all a prelude to me saying thanks for having me over.

Oh, that's where we ended up. I'm sorry I don't have muffins for you, but I'm really glad you're here.

Well, I got here as soon as I could. It takes a while longer when you're in a car as small as David's.

Okay.

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Did it specify what kind of muffins or just a basket of.

Basket of muffins?

It just said basket of muffins.

Yeah, someone's pulling my chain, you know.

I like that it has to be in a basket that feels almost like fairy tale.

Muffins are always in a basket and.

Send it to them and just be like, oh, this person needs, you know.

David, is there a way to correct dumois?

I can, we can dm them. The only other thing you're always on there, it's either the basket of muffins or you eating sushi. So.

Well, I do eat a lot of sushi.

That one's true.

What about a basket of sushi?

They're 50 50.

I'm just saying, can we make stuff up about people and send it in and just be like, I know that so and so requests, you know, whatever.

This feels like Gossip girl.

Yeah, I don't think, I mean it's not the Washington Post, you know, it's not.

They're not fact checking.

Yeah, they're not fact checking.

Also people are loving, if it's true, the muffins in the comments, people are really happy that, well then I'm gonna.

Double down on it. I love I loves me muffins. I loves me muffins. Tell us a little bit about Altadena because the whole point of making this a special podcast and us being outside and spending I think a fortune to have everyone come here, travel great distances, fortune to set up cameras and microphones and what appears to be a solo stove. And if it's not a solo stove, I don't want to be near it because I will only be near a solo stove. Oh God, those things are fantastic. Yeah, solo stove. Best stove you can have outdoors. Solo stove. I tell us a little bit about Altadena. Do you know anything about its history?

I don't.

Oh, okay.

All right. It's north of Pasadena. There's horses that come here all the time. Every once in a while, you can hear a pack of coyotes killing an animal, and it's a horrifying.

Are they killing him? Coyotes attack animals, and you can hear it.

Oh, you can hear.

What does it sound like?

And then it's just silence.

We get that too. In Pasadena.

Right? Doesn't it sound like. Just, like, screaming?

It's. It's vicious.

It's vicious. It's awful. It's like something that'll, like, traumatize you. So we hear that a lot, and then there's just, you know, little. There's always animals. There's bears, and there's, you know, bobcats.

I love it. I love wild animals.

No, you don't.

I do.

No, I don't think you do. Do you really like wild animals?

I think it's cool. I love being around nature. I think it's neat. I think it's neat to be in your house and know that there's just animals out there roaming around. It's cool.

Do you go camping? You know, have we talked about it? Have we talked about him going camping?

I don't know if we've talked about. Do you go camping?

Did you go tent? In a tent in it?

What?

Sona, are you okay?

Sona, have you ever slept in a tent?

Touch your finger. Your index finger to your nose right now.

I'm totally fine.

Okay.

Have you ever slept in a tent? In, like, a sleeping bag?

Of course I have. Yeah. When I was a kid, I went to camp.

I know. And you boiled your legs on a.

Tiny legs in a canoe and. Yeah, I went to camp many years up in New Hampshire. Went to a camp in Maine.

But did you ever go camping of your own accord, like, with friends or family?

Made up my own volition, yes.

Do I.

Is there a difference?

Does accord not work?

Accord works perfectly. I just gave you a synonym. I don't know what the problem is. All I did was give you another word that was also valid. What's wrong with that? That's fun. That's saying. Yeah, I see what you. That's fun. Yeah.

I'm gonna give you a different word for fun. That's a dick move.

It's not a dick move.

It's fun.

You said you go up your own accord. Of my own volition. Of course I do. That's just two guys having fun with one of the greatest languages ever invented.

Become the human thesaurus that nobody asked. Have you gone camping of your own volition?

Yes, I did. Yeah, I have. And I also took my kids camping, so. Yeah.

Well, what kind of. Were you glamping or were you camping?

Define glamping.

You're in a yurt and there's a refrigerator.

No.

Did you pitch your own tent? Have you, like, gotten a tent? Why are you smiling? Why are you. Why are you a twelve year old boy? Have you ever pitched your own tent? Stop laughing. What is wrong with you? Stop laughing. That wasn't even. You're a grown man.

I have a fan.

I'm not even laughing at.

Actually, I don't even know how else to ask that question.

Have you ever gotten a boner?

That I've proven is much. That's much more difficult than pitching a tent. Pitching a tent is relatively easy, okay? Getting an erect penis is a whole other. That takes a lot of pulleys and struts.

Counterweights.

You need counterweights. You need to get a lot of other people involved. You hold that end.

A lot of other people.

You hold that end. You hold this end. This is good fun.

See, now we're cooking.

We're cooking really good.

Now, people don't do that in show business.

Say what?

They don't say, hey, guys, this is real good fun. Hey, I gave you a synonym. That's funny.

They do and they're not.

Well, yeah, you're doing things we don't do in show business.

Yeah, you sure knows your show business. So.

Knows it.

I love the air here, too.

Smells like fire.

It does sort of smell like a fire. Well, that might be the solo stove, but you know what's cool about the solo stove? And we haven't even gotten to the ad part of the solo stove. There's no smoke. Beautiful. What a beautiful design. I don't know who did it.

I did it.

I hope they get a Nobel prize.

I did it. I didn't.

Let me ask you something. Do you know your neighbors?

I do.

Do your neighbors know that you're recording a pretty well known podcast right here in your yard?

My friends who live two houses down, I told them.

Are they gonna come by?

They wanted to, but I didn't know how to do it where it wasn't awkward.

What do you mean? They can just come and they're just.

Gonna come and stand here?

Yeah, and I'd sign an eight by ten for them. Oh, come on, not of me.

That's weird.

Of who?

I don't know. Like the star of Hawaii five. Oh, the new one, not the old one, the new Hawaii five o. Daniel Kim. There you go. Daniel Kim. I often sign his headshot. People get really confused.

Did you ever see the episode of the new Hawaii 50 where they cg Jack Lord into it in some of the worst CG ever seen?

Did they? You know, I grew up on the original Hawaii five oh with Jack Lord, and Jack Lord was the inspiration for my hairstyle.

Oh, that makes sense.

Yeah. I used to see his hair. It was all piled up, and he always had a little coil going forward. And I remembered as a kid, going, I wish I lived in Hawaii and was a detective and had that haircut. Well, one of those things came true. I got the hair. And then all these years later, I'm talking to one of my heroes on the podcast, and I forget who it was, but it was so many heroes. I think it was Nixon. No, I was talking to. I think, you know, I think it was. It was Kurt Russell. I was talking to Kurt Russell, and Kurt Russell was a child actor, and he was on that Hawaii five o. He said he did a scene with Jack Lord, and Jack Lord didn't have his wig on. And I said, what? And he went, yeah, man, that was a piece.

I didn't know that.

So my hair hero, my hair that I've spent my lifetime perfecting and crafting is based on a sham.

What if your hair just all fell out at that moment when it was.

At that moment just fell off? It's like the coyote realizing he's standing on nothing. Yeah. And he looks at the camera and falls. So anyway, now there's a new Hawaii five oh.

Who's Jack Lord?

He's the first Felix lighter Sona.

Oh, right. Okay. Don Johnson wasn't know. Is that. That's my Miami vice. Okay.

Okay.

It's not the same show. It sounds like it.

It's across it.

Could I go?

Hawaii and Miami couldn't be farther apart.

But they're both sunny and aren't they both detectives? So I know one of them. They roll their shirt, their jackets up.

Yeah, that's Hawaii 50.

No, that's miami.

That's miami Vice. That's Don johnson.

Okay, and have you seen Don Johnson? Here's my point. My point is that Hawaii 50, a show from the sixties, and it goes into the early seventies, miami vice show from the eighties. Jack lord, star of the show. In the original Hawaii 50, my hair was basically based on his hair, and then it turned out to be a shamde. Now there's a new Hawaii five oh. And you say that they tried to put Jack lord, who I'm sure has been dead for a long time.

It's insane because they didn't have much of a budget. The CG is God awful, and the main, one of the main guys is talking to him in a really dark room. You have to watch it. Anybody I want to listen to this has to listen.

I mean, I want to see if the minute this podcast is over, if we can get electricity up here, I want to plug something in. No, no, we'll use your generator or whatever.

It's a normal place. Altadena is a normal place. It's a normal city.

That's what the sign said when I entered it said Altadena. A normal place, just like the other places.

Just like all the other places.

Established 2014. What's our elevation here? Do you know your elevation?

No.

Oh, for God's sake. What kind of life do you have?

Who knows their elevation? Do you know your elevation?

Yep. A lister. Okay. Mic drop. So anyway, sorry.

Yeah.

Anyway, I know my neighbors, me, DiCaprio and J lo. 1300 358ft. How did you find that out? Did you just look it up?

Yeah.

Or did you? Sometimes people have it on their watches. Oh, no, I looked it up. Okay.

Yeah.

Sometimes a watch will tell you, that's great. An apple watch sometimes tells you, you.

Really lead us down very fruitful places.

I think I lead us to many great places. Yep. Good leader.

Like that synonym thing you did. That was really good.

What's that anyway? Own a core.

No, let's not rap yet.

You want a synonym for rap?

Can we conclude and shoot this thing.

In the fucking head?

Can I talk about. Can I talk about how my pillow flew into my neighbor's yard with from a windstorm and I was too scared to ask them for it back?

Why would you tell me this the other day? And I don't understand why you were so scared.

When was the last time you went to your neighbors and said, hey, my thing, something went over and I need to get it.

I would walk over there, I'd ring the doorbell. I know both my neighbors, and I'd say, hi, my pillow fell into your backyard and I need to retrieve it.

Why is it weird for me? I just got so is it still there? No, we got it. I got. I went after a month of me and tack going back and forth about who was going to go get it.

Weird that you guys would be so afraid to confront your neighbors. They must be absolute monsters.

They're so nice. They're such lovely pe. Everyone is so lovely.

You know, the other thing you can do is sneak over there.

Yeah, midnight raid.

Thought about it, but then I was like, what if they see? What do you mean? No, you can't sneak into your neighbor's house and get it.

Well, it adds a little bit of thrill to the marriage. I would. You should both take off your clothes and jump over the fence and try and call. It's called grab the night pillow. It's a sexy game you can play, you know, when the spark goes out of the marriage. Take off your clothes with your loved one and try and steal a pillow from a neighbor's yard. That's a way to. Everybody comes out happy after that one.

Did you guys throw a lot of balls over the yard at your house when you were growing up? What, like you and your brother. You're your brothers and your sisters. You had. There were so many of you.

We didn't have a ball. We had a tater we tossed around. All right, we're getting out of here. We are saying goodbye now from beautiful Altadena, California. Look it up on a map. It probably won't be much resolution from the satellite photos. I don't. You know, sometimes when you get into a remote area, they don't really. Even. NASA doesn't even shoot pictures anymore.

North of Pasadena.

It's not on all maps anyway.

Yeah, just starts to. Just starts to come. North Pasadena, it's like that. What's the area with the 57 area?

Area 50.

Area 51.

Area 51. Yeah. It's like the government has blocked out all images of Altadena. Anyway, we're here. Night is descending, and the coyotes are moving in. You can hear them. Coyotes moving in.

Summer s'mores with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Obsession and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fischer at Yearwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on. A future episode got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever. Fine. Podcasts are downloaded. This has been a team Coco production in association with Earwolf.

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