Solo Stove and Whistlepig Whisky have joined forces to introduce Camp Stock, a limited edition wheat whiskey. It's aged in barrels, toasted by Solo Stove, the world's favorite firepit. On the Rocks, neat or in a Smoors old fashioned, Camp Stock wheat whiskey, with its notes of Graham cracker, baking spices in vanilla, is the perfect fireside drink for summer nights. Cheers to whiskey flavored by the flame and savored by the flame. Please remember to pig out responsibly. This This episode of Konan O'Brien Needs a Friends is sponsored by L. L. Bean. Summer's all about getting outside. For quality outdoor clothing, gear, and accessories, turn to L. L. Bean, the expert for over a century. They got camp chairs, campsite organizers, blankets, coolers. Plus, get the stylish, yet durable clothes you need for all types of weather, including their famous bean boots. For the best outdoor products, tips, and inspiration, visit llbean. Com/conan. Outside together since 1912.

Summer Smoors with Konan and the Chill Chums. A six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ofsassian, and Matt Gourley. Let's get started. Okay, we're back in studio for the final.

I like to think of this as the wrap-up. Yeah, a debrief. Yeah, this is After the event, the commentators stand around and they try and bring a sense of perspective to what is happening. What went wrong.

They go through the plays. Is that what you're talking, like sports commentators?

Sports or else, like a political event. You need people be able to digest it.

A military operation.

Okay. Yeah, this is what happened. This is how many casualties we took. There were three. Where did it go? Where did it go wrong? First of all, I commend you, Sona, on having us over to your home. Thank you. Lovely house. Thank you. It was nice to see in the window, your little boys, my godchildren, waving at us out the window to their Uncle Coco.

They really love seeing you.

Yeah, and then they saw Matt and recoiled, which I thought was weird. Yeah. They said El Diablo, which is weird. That's Spanish. They're not Spanish. I don't know why.

I had my goat with me.

Anyway, but your house is beautiful. Thank you. I think you've done a really nice job. It's nice to see TAC. Yeah. And your parents were there.

They were there. They're helping watch the boys and stuff. You only made a few Al Tadina jokes.

We should encourage the fans to count them. If there's over a thousand, which I think there are, then you win a centra.

We're giving a gift, a car?

It's not a centra we own. You have to go steal it. We'll point it out, too. But It was very nice to be there. I have to say, very atmospheric. One of the things that stands out to me the most, and I don't know how it's going to sound on the podcast, if you're going to hear it through the mics, but those coyotes that were trapping an animal, that's one of the... I mean, I've heard I think that way off in the distance. I think this was happening in your kitchen. You can't hear it.

I've edited it already.

Does it sound crazy?

It sounds distant, but you can hear it. But the listeners should know that it was so much more intense in person, even though I've We've done all we can to amplify it and make it sound as present as possible. It's nothing like the real thing.

No, it was crazy to be there, borderline psychotic, because it sounded like they were maybe 35 feet away. Madness. How often do you hear that?

I would say several times a week.

But are we sure it's just not like some Altadina cult, just some human cult members?

I'm sorry. You think that they're human?

What's going on up there?

I think coyotes are killing little critters.

What critters are they killing? Do we know?

There's so many random things around. There's little things. I don't know.

Yeah, you're real good at identifying species. I love it if Sona- I don't know animals. I would love it if Sona had a nature show. Wouldn't it be great if Sona had a nature show? I don't know what animals are. Here we are in the Outback, and there's something. I don't know what... That's something. It's got ears. There's something else.

Yeah.

It's a fur remover. There's three things, and two of them look to be the same thing, and then there's another thing. No, that's three different things. Welcome to Suna's wonderful world of Things.

Sometimes there's a little dog will go out, sometimes a little cat, sometimes there's field mice, I think.

It felt bigger like they had to take it down. Yeah, it felt like something big. A large bunny or a raccoon or something.

It could have been. A lot of bunnies, a lot of racoons, a lot of shit.

Andy Andy Richter has been missing. Oh, my God. Oh, jeez. Yeah, I told him to- No. Yeah, I told him- Andy. I told him to come visit us, and they found his car, but they didn't find Andy. They found one of his boots. They found a cruelly written note in coyote that said, Andy was delicious, which should clear it up in coyote, by the way, I said.

In our conversation, you mentioned that next year you would host us at your house. I will.

Do you still feel that? Yeah, I've got to get, I mean, as you know, I live in a very, an enclave, if you will. I'll need to get clearance from some of the biggest names in the business. Hal Niedermann, Chaz Paul-Merry, Do you mean Hal Needham and Chaz Palm and Terry?

Who are you? No, no.

These are different people. Okay. All right. Stu Beckman. No, I live... These are triple A listers, meaning they all work for triple A. No, but it's Riz Perlman, who's a real Perlman's accountant. It's insane. I can't have- This sounds like you're backpedaling.

Do you remember also in the first episode of this summer series, you said, If anybody comes over, you go overboard with food. So we expect a feast.

Oh, yeah. I would take care of that. I would see to it that our sponsor provides an incredible amount of food. This is just going to be all whiskey. A sponsor? It's going to be a whiskey. Then if you can eat a solo show.

You don't want to pay for it yourself? Bingo.

Okay. Oh, man. No, I will check with Make sure that I'm not in violation, obviously. Again, I can't put too fine a point on this, but I live amongst the hoi ploi, the finest, royalty, Hollywood royalty or Hollyweird. I If you just keep going, it's awful. But I would like to host next year, and I think that's something to look forward to because we'll have some real celebrity drop-ins. Do you think? Oh, no doubt. Riz Perlman? Yeah. Jizz Schmeckman might come by.

I'll take a pass on him if it's all the same.

Okay. Jizz Schmeckman?

Jizz Schmeckman?

Let me tell me. Maybe tell him we're busy. Jizz shows whether you want him to or not.

Yeah, just put up a black light.

Oh, man. Yeah, but Quarrel Style might come by. I mean, there's all kinds of... Quarrel Style. It's going to be an incredible collection of a Hollywood once was and Hollywood could be.

Is Jizz a once was or a could be? It depends on what time of day. Yeah, exactly.

If Jizz has been hydrating. You know what, guys?

I don't like this humor.

Can I tell you something else? This guy is low-hanging fruit Jones. He will go after anything. Excuse me.

You began this whole series by saying, We're digitally servicing people with DJs J. Blow jobs.

I said digital blowies. That was 35 episodes ago. No one remembers that. Also, that is high-hanging fruit.

How is that high-hanging fruit?

Because I took fan service and I made it sound sexual. That is an elegant comedy.

You know what? I've worked with the worst and I've worked with the best, but I prefer you guys.

It's elegant comedy.

Italian food connoisseur hands. That makes it elegant. It's called Comedy.

Look it up, man.

I say we do it at my house next year if I can clear it. Okay. And-clear it. Well, also, there's going to be a paparazzi element. They're all over me. It's very hard for me to go anywhere these days. I've been in your house.

There's never any paparazzi.

All I do is call the paparazzi. I know. They always say no.

They're past. They're just not having it. They don't even say no. They're like, Pass.

Yeah, I wore the same thing that Bianca Sensori wears. Who? She hangs out with... What's her name?

Why do you know New People?

I think he studies New People's names just thinking, I got to stay relevant, but he doesn't know it contextually.

Bianca Sensori, she's the one that's always hanging out with- Giz Jackman? Kanye? She hangs out with Kanye, and she's always wearing nothing. Oh, it's his new wife. It's his wife. Yeah. Are they married? Yeah, they're married. Why do you know that? I know everything. You don't. I do. No, you don't. I do. Okay. I do know about culture.

I do know about culture.

I really do. I will do it next year at my house, and it'll be fun. We'll have a good time. But I think we should reminisce a little more about what we just experienced before we time travel to next year.

I am a little inserted that the drinks came out so late.

That was planned.

I know it was. I feel Personally attacked because you guys had a conversation and didn't include me in it.

Have you ever been on a road trip, and then there's one person who gets behind the wheel and it doesn't go well. You start picking mailboxes out of the grill. We learned then not to put you behind the wheel on the road trip. For summer smores, it's fine for you to have your drinky pou, but it's got to come later, or else it's just a total meltdown.

I don't know if it's a meltdown.

The last two years, I like it.

I will tell you, I wasn't involved in this conversation. I just received a dictate, basically. This is the way it will be. Because I like it when you drink.

When we were doing summer smores, I was thinking in my head, where is the alcohol? Why isn't it out here? Otherwise, it's just three dicks talking in a yard.

Who cares? Three dicks in a yard. That's a career for some people. I think we did the right thing. I think we showed a little bit of restraint. You can't hold your liquor. You know you can't.

I cannot.

That was so defiant. I've been with you for years, and we would go to all kinds of events, and you would have one glass of wine, and suddenly you were hanging from a chandelier. Yeah. Dressed as a pirate, and I just couldn't take that chance.

Okay, fine. I'm just saying that it's just then the magic's gone.

Next year, we'll pregame.

I'm down. Okay. Yeah.

You can pregame next year. I will. I liked it. There were some revelations, I think, Clay. Didn't he pull out a medieval sword at one point?

He not only bought a sword, he brought it.

He bought the sword from the Renaissance Fair.

He took the word bought and added an R and brought it. Yeah.

Can I ask you something? It was cool, right?

It was pretty cool.

Do you have a plan to grow up at some point? No, and I say that with great affection. You know I love you, Blake, but at some point, what do you think? Maybe no more sword buying and it's time to... No.

You make a good point.

Yeah, that's a good point. Thank you.

I mean, look, I think swords are cool at any age. I don't know. It's It's cool to buy a sort. What would you say? Just question. I don't want to derail stuff, but what would a grown up thing that you want to see me do be? That you be do be? What is a grown up thing? How about you make a sentence? That would be the first thing.

Well, just getting is a good start.

What is a grown up thing I can do to prove to you? I've said this to you. I'd like you to wear a suit. I've done it. Occasionally. I know you did it, but I mean, consistently. And everybody thought it was weird. I'd like you to eventually sire a large family, like nine kids. Well, I mean, now, does that include a donate? Can I donate sperm? No. Okay. And you already have, I'm sure. It's all over the place. You don't have to go back to that. It's above you guys. You brought it up. You did it. You literally made him up.

You made him up.

You brought Jizz into the conversation.

I didn't say that that's what his name meant.

This conversation was Jizzless, and then you You brought up the Jizz.

Are you saying Jizz is a first name that's different from actual Jizz? I was not thinking about that at all. I really wasn't. Is Jizz short for something? Yeah, Jizamaya. It's in the Bible. Look it up. It's in the Bible. Jizamaya.

Jizamaya Steckman.

No, and I want you to wear a fedora. I want you to go home at the end of the night. I just want you to be really up tight about work and then have a high to calm yourself down. Okay. I want you to live in the suburbs. I'm going to work on that. No more T-shirts that say who farted stuff. Just like, I want you to be a grown up. I'm almost sure.

He's wearing a black T-shirt. Yeah. I'll work on it.

But you know You know what I'm saying? I want you to smoke heavily and not take care of yourself. All the stuff that is the 1950s trope. I'm going to get right on it. I want you to be very distant with your son, cold, never really hug it out. Oh my God. No problem. Okay. I'm on it. I'm running this down. These are all the things I want for you. I don't want you at Renaissance Fairs anymore.

In his defense, grownups would hold swords in the Renaissance era. So he's just in the wrong time.

No, but grownups died at 30 during that era. So you would have died a long time ago. I'm writing these things down, and I'm going to get working on them.

It is a cool sword.

Thank you very much. I want you to drive a Rambler. A Rambler? Yeah, a Nash Rambler, something. I do drive a Jeep Wrangler with the license I played Jock Jam. Okay, I know, but that's not growing up.

Where is that helping?

I want your vanity plate to say put upon. I want you to just be bent over in your car. I want you to be moving figures around all day on a big ledger Then you go home and you hate your home life and you hate your work life. That's what I want for you. That's called being an adult.

Get a 401k for Christ's sake.

Yeah, let's play more Willy Loman.

Yeah, exactly. There you go. You said something that relates to a book.

Nice.

I know. Let's talk to champagne. Yeah. You said the magic- They said it wouldn't happen. Wow. The meteor just passed the sun.

What a dick.

What a dick. No, I mean, something that exists and You have to have read and then you remembered it, and you said it, it was apt. That's fucking crazy. Confetti comes down. It's like the 10,000th customer. When she did it, there was a look in her eyes like, You're going to go for this? Is it going to work?

Is this going to Oh, my God.

That was great. You don't mean the DJ, Willy Lohman?

Dj Willy Lohman. Oh, no. He plays the Encore in Vegas on Sunday. Oh, no. Dj Willy Lohman.

Oh, man. I knew it wasn't the right Willy Lohman. Anyway, Bley, work on that. But I don't want to put you down in any way. You don't want to put him down in any way. No, I just think you should- You just criticized his whole life.

Every ounce of it. Every ounce of his life.

That's not true. I like your sister. She's very nice. She's a great child. I don't want to put you down in any way.

L.

L. Bean makes getting outside more comfortable, and that's because they believe Everyone deserves time with nature. It doesn't need to be epic, looking at the stars or walking the dog or great outdoor activities. You know, on a chilly night, L. L. Bean's Puffer Blankets can do it all. That's nice. They're incredible. Light, warm, packable, versatile. Plus, it snaps at the top to let you wear it like a cape. But of course, summer days get inevitably hot, so get L. L. Beans' Adventure Tote Cooler.

Oh.

It's tough, soft-sided cooler, has compact design features, impressive capacity, holds up to 36 12oz cans with 5 pounds of ice. You know I love those L. L. Beans chairs.

Yeah, those were great.

Have a nice seat anywhere. You feel like the king of your own realm.

It was a whole LL Bean setup, too. We had the chairs, and then they sent me a sweater that was really and those bean boots.

You know what? You look nice in those things, too. I like it when you dress well. Oh, nice. That's a weird thing to say at all. Thank you, LL Bean. Ll Bean. It'll class soda up anytime. For the best outdoor products, tips, and inspiration, visit LLbean. Com/conin. Outside together since 1912. Enjoy all the versatility of a firepit without the smoke. Hello. And that messy cleanup. How do you do it? Solo stove. The stainless steel construction of Solo Stow fire pits is designed to regulate airflow and burn more efficiently, resulting in a smokeless fire. Solo Stow fire pits are easy to light, portable, come in a variety of sizes and colors, and have a lifetime warranty. That's why it's the world's favorite smokeless fire pit. I wish we were all sitting around a smokeless fire instead of being stuck in this stuffy studio right now. But I wouldn't want to lay a smokeless fire in here. It's a contained... No, for the outdoors, that's the idea. Head to solostove. Com and use promo code, CONIN20, to get $20 off your order of $200 or more. For some serious Big Pig energy, check out Whistlepig, the leading independent craft whiskey brand.

You heard what I said. It makes some seriously well-crafted rye bourbon, even wheat whiskies. Clearly, I have a ton of fun doing it, like naming the whiskies after the pigs of their Vermont farm distillery. Isn't that a cool idea? I like that. Hey, Pig, what's your name? We're going to put it on some whiskey. Whistlepig's high rye and bold bourbon whisky's push the boundaries of flavors. Whether you like it spicy or sweet, Whistlepig has the best whiskey for your maple old-fashioned. Cheers to the pig. I've lost my mind. They sent us some whiskey. Can they send a pig, too? Find Wistlepig Whisky at shop. Whistlepigwhisky. Com or at your local bar or liquor store. Please remember to always pig out responsibly. Hey, what was it? There was one point where it got really crazy, where you and I were fighting. We were arguing about something about And Matt left. Comedy points?

I don't know, but it was so stupid.

But you and I couldn't let it go. It reminded me of the early days when you were first working for me. There's a lot of stuff to do. I had a late night show to do, and we would get into this total, these bullshit arguments, and each one would say, Last word, and we go like, Nope, last word. We couldn't let it go, and it actually sometimes stalled the start of a late night show.

It was a lot of like, Okay, I want, I want, I want, I want. Then it just became... It was so stupid. It took me back to when me and Danny used to fight. My brother and I used to fight. We were 12, and we would do that.

I'm like your older brother, Danny, who I admire, by the way. I admire that fellow.

Don't admire Danny. He's cool. I don't like that. I know why you admire him, and I don't like it.

He's cool. He's a cool guy. He was a jock.

He is a cool guy.

Good-looking.

Yeah, he was the cool guy in school and stuff.

Yeah, I was never that, so I look to him. Okay. I was the kid they tied- Hey, Danny, what's going on? I was the kid they tapped with masking tape to the flag pole upside down.

Pantsless.

Pantsless. Did it have anything to do with you, oddly rubbing your elbow in some strange, slightly sexual way?

I'm slightly somber. Okay. No, no. Just say, if I start rubbing my own body, that's my business. No, I went on a mic ride. You know what? I put, this is apropos of absolutely nothing, but I'm pretty I ended up putting on sunscreen, and I think I put it on. I was talking to my wife and some friends that were visiting, and then I just forgot to do the upper part of this arm, and I got back from the... Look at that.

It's like a Neapolitan ice cream. It is.

I could take a bite, and it's got the little freckles. You just want to bite it.

That reminds me, you were not feeling well during these summer s'mores. That's right. You were sick. You're feeling better now.

I did. I was traveling for work, and somewhere running around, not sleeping enough. I got a chest cold, and it was just in my chest and would not go.

Now you'll admit it. You wouldn't admit it on the sessions.

You kept saying, I was sick and I'm getting better now. You were just sick for a while.

Yeah, but what I meant was, because my father drilled this into us, is I had already had it for about a week and a half, so I knew that I wasn't contagious.

But you were sick?

Yeah, I didn't feel good. I was coughing a lot. It didn't sound great. You were sick for a while, like a time. Well, you know. I don't like to brag, but yeah.

It's a real accomplishment. How do you do it?

Well, just immune system fails. You are so cool. Yeah. I just got tired, then I got sick. That's how I used to come on to ladies back in the day. That's cool. I talk about how my immune system failed me. I got sick, and then I was sick for a while. Oh, really?

Panty dropper. What? I said you came and talked about your immune system. It was a panty dropper. That's the phrase? The girls dropped their panties.

You mean a panty raiser?

Panty raiser.

Panty constructor. Yeah, Yeah, but so what? I had a little bit of a cough, a little bit of a horse voice, but I recovered, and I'm in fine fettle now.

Yeah. Congrats.

Thanks. Now, I know what you would have done, which is anytime I used to come in and I wasn't feeling well, Sona would say garlic. I learned from you that's absolutely true. Eat whole garlic. I do that, and you can feel it. It's like lightning coming out of your pores. Are you doing a bit? No. You've actually tried it? Yeah. It is. It works. It works. Yes.

Everything we need is in the earth.

Oh, boy. Altadina, here we come.

No, that's not true.

It is not in the earth. No. There's so much stuff we need that's not in the earth.

But if you have a very simple cold, all I do is I do actually eat garlic, and then I drink lots of tea with lemon and honey, and that's all I do. She works every time.

She?

Yeah. Mother Nature. Oh, Mother Nature.

I see.

But you're welcome. You're welcome.

Oh, yeah. Thank you for mentioning that garlic can be helpful. You're welcome. Something that wasn't known. Well, I'm glad. Listen, it brought us closer together, or it drove us further apart. I think the latter. I don't think we learned much I don't know. It's up to the fans. The fans will tell us.

We learned a new story about you, that you had to vaamp as Uncle Sam as a young man for a summer camp. That is one of the times I can count on one hand when I've had sympathy for you.

Yeah, I've had some tough times. That sounded rough. It sounded very rough. Man, I wish the coyotes had set upon me and Uncle Sam had torn me apart. That was a rough one. It's a moment where sometimes you're out there and you're in the night and your guard comes down a little bit, and you start to talk, and you start to get to know each other a little better. You'd think, after all this time, How could I get to know Sonoma Cessu and Matt Gourley a little better, and why would I want to? But then you're in that situation, and you do. It's an onion. It's a perpetual onion. There's more and more layers.

We went through a lot. There was the rending of an animal's body by other wild animals, and it was traumatic.

You know what would have made it open up even more is alcohol early on in the series.

Well, maybe a little gummy for you next time. I will gummy it up.

We talked about that. Yeah, maybe we should. If you'll gummy it up with me, will you gummy it up with me?

I don't know if I would. That's not my thing.

It's not my thing. I have to think for the show. I have to be sober.

Well, I'm sorry.

I remember- Couldn't you schedule the next day off so you had a buffer? Then the three of us, we take a gummy, and just a little bit. Because I wouldn't go deep either, but we could do that and just see what It'll be a giggle fest.

We'd have a real good time.

Some laughs for the first time, huh? Yeah. Think about- All manufactured from a drug. Okay, well, what could be the problem? We're just high. I'm sorry, I'm a professional, and I have to uphold certain standards. Also, I think there are a lot of young people that look up to me.

I don't think this podcast has any standards.

It's not illegal.

No young people look up to me. All right, we'll talk about it. I'm not saying definitely yes right now, but we'll talk about it. But listen, I want to say thank you. Thank you to Sona for having us over. Thank you, Matt, for, of course, always being the camp counselor and making sure that everything runs smoothly. I like to thank myself for lending whatever it is I bring to the table, which some would say is- It's hard to quantify.

Hard to quantify.

It's really I think 98%.

Also think Jizz Steckman.

You know, Steckman is a good man. He's a partner of the firm Steckman & Steckman. Not related. Yeah, that's true.

Jizz & Jizz.

Jizz and jizzier.

Jizz and jizzier.

That's incredible. You guys, you always aim for the stars. Reach for the stars, and if you fall, you still- You introduced him.

He's your friend. You brought him.

I did not say that it was related to semen in any way.

People hear the word jizz and don't think about semen. There are other ways.

I told you, there's lots of jizz.

In what way have you ever heard jizz where it's not talking about semen? I can tell you.

It's the type of music that the aliens play in the cantina in Star Wars.

It's not jazz, it's jizz.

Is it really not jizz?

It is truly, yeah.

Who says, Hey, this is great jizz?

No, it's in the lore.

Yeah, it's in the lore.

It's in the lore.

No, no, no one says it. It's called jizz whaling. Yeah.

No one says it? Not in the movie. Do you just have to be a real Star Wars dork to know that?

I don't know. I wouldn't know. Someone told me. I didn't ask for it. I didn't seek it out. I swear.

Oh, no. I think someone made that up.

It's like the smallest sail, I think, on a schooner is the jizz. That is not true. It is. Yeah.

There are no other times people use the word jizz. Hoist the jizz.

It's true. Hoist the jizz. We're coming in hardily. All right, I'm going to call it. You guys are the worst. God bless us, everyone. Bye.

Summer Smoors with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Of Cessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at EarWolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental Music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Erin Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with EarWolf.