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Hello.

Hi, Julia. Welcome.

Oh, my God. Hello, Julia. How are you?

Hi. This is crazy. I'm freaking out a little bit.

No, I think we're the ones experiencing the craziness because we can see you. For anyone listening right now, we have a screen and we can see what's behind you. Are those looms behind you? There's a massive, massive wooden loom behind you that looks like it could be 800 years old. I don't know. It's literally looming. Yeah, it's looming. Thank you. I think that's where looming comes from. I appreciate that. It must be. What's going on, Julia? Who are you? Where are you? Why are you? And when are you?

Hello.

Where are you coming from?

My name is Julia. I'm calling from Ithca, New York, which Which is random. I moved here from LA, and I have this studio, and I actually have two looms behind me. It's two big looms that are looming right now.

Okay. It's funny because I know so little about looms that it just looks like one giant loom. I can't see where one loom starts and the other one begins, but it's very impressive and very cool looking.

Thank you. Yeah, I'm a little obsessive about weaving. I love weaving, which is It's insane. It's a lot of equipment, though, that you need on this level.

Okay, let me ask a couple of questions quickly. You use the loom. What would you call yourself? You wouldn't say, I'm a weaver. What would you call yourself?

I would say I'm a weaver. Okay.

All right. I didn't know if you preferred textile technician. I just don't know what terms you prefer, and I want to use the term you prefer.

Yeah, I think weaver A weaver is a good term. I would introduce myself as, Hello, I'm a weaver. I think a textile technician is more so… Because I'm also a textile engineer in my day-to-day normal life. The technicians are the ones that operate big machines. Got it. I do that, too.

You do that as well. But this is more of you in your hobby phase, would you say? Because you've got this giant loom behind you that looks very old school. You're wearing a very beautiful, colorful scarf, I believe, or a blanket. Yeah. Or poncho. I don't know exactly what it is, but it looks gorgeous. Did you make that? Yeah, I did.

Thank you. Yeah, it's a blanket. It's my cozy blanket. It's cold in here. I got this on. But yeah, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a hobbyist either. I went to school for weaving, for textiles, and I I am very, very obsessed about tech sales. If I could be successful in this, then this would be my life, and I wouldn't need the day thing.

Well, I think when you describe yourself as obsessed, that is the key to being really good at something. I would hope so. Yeah. The fact that you're obsessed with weaving probably means you are pretty good at it. I can't even begin to know what goes into setting up a loom because because they look impossibly complicated. The loom behind you, just the idea that you would know how to put the different... You use yarn, is that correct? Mm-hmm. Okay. See? I know some things. You use different colored yarns, and then you have to figure out how they interlock using the loom. Is that right?

That's the most fun part. That part is what gets my brain just so happy. But what's really cool about weaving is that weaving is actually the the origin of modern computing. What? Yeah, it's so- You can watch pornography on a loom?

Oh, jeez. Well, I'm sorry. Is there another use for a computer or a loom? Many times I've seen a loom and I've tried. What's going on? And then I'm like, I get frustrated. This isn't sexy. I'm sorry, Julia, you seem like a cool person, and I totally flew this thing into the gutter immediately, and I I not only apologize to you, I apologize to the weaving community and everyone in textiles. Yes. But- We'll accept it. Okay. What do you mean the loom was the beginning of the computer?

In what you're talking about, how the threads interlock with each other, you either are lifting the thread or lowering the thread, one or zero. It's binary.

Binary. Yeah.

The punch card system was invented by a weaver. I actually have this thing right there. I didn't know that. Is essentially a punch card. And this modern technology computing was invented from the operation of weaving.

I did not know that, and it makes perfect sense. It's binary. It's this or that. And then you need a menu. You need something to tell you what the sequence is, and you work off of that. And I didn't know that the punch card, which basically was when I was a kid, around the time I'm being born, 63, 64, 65, all computers work off of a punch card until we move beyond that. But that's amazing.

Yeah, it's so cool. I'm just so obsessed with it. I've been really focused because I have a solo show opening in a week from now. I've just been in here every day weaving. Let's go. Making fabric. Is it going to be in Ithaca? You're welcome to come. It is going to be in Ithaca.

If we get in a car and start now.

We're going to drive seven days, the three of us.

Seven days? What are you talking? No, it's not seven.

When I drove from LA to Ithaca, it took seven days.

I've done Coast to I was just in three.

No. What?

I didn't sleep. I was by myself. I was like 20 something. I was insane. That's crazy. I was a crazy person. I talked to myself the whole time. You were by yourself? I was by myself. Oh, my God. Yeah. There were some crimes committed along the route which have never been solved. But okay, three was a little much. I'm going to say it was four. Okay.

I drove slow.

Might have been five.

You guys are all being too conciliatory here. Just stick to your original stories. I know. We're losing the drama.

Okay, I did it in two days. Okay, that's better. I did 110 miles an hour, and I hauled illegal beer across state lines as I was being chased by Smoky. You I have my number. You bet I do, as played by... Smoky, of course, played by Jackie Gleason. Anyway, Julia, I'm taking you down a bad road, and I apologize. You have a show coming up. Is it a competition? Do you have to beat other people? You seem like you'd be very competitive about weaving.

You think is there competitive looming?

I bet there is.

Well, actually, yeah, there is. But I wouldn't say my show is competitive. My show is an art show. I went to art school for weaving, so been doing that. But there are competitive weaving, actually. There is a sheep and wool festival where every year they have a sheep to shal competition of how fast you can shear sheep, get the wool, spin the yarn, make a shal.

Does anyone ever win really quickly, but then they realize that the sheep is pretty much just wrapped around the person's neck?

They didn't fully shear it?

They half sheared it, and then this thing. Then they'll... Quiet. Quiet. We've almost won.

Is there juicing in looming competitions?

Yeah. Can you juice? Can you inject yourself with something that makes you operate the loom so much faster? Yeah.

I don't know.

That's a really good question. Do they drug test in looming competitions?

I can't answer that question. No.

Someone sounds pretty guilty.

I hope not.

She's thinking. You know what I noticed?

I mean, well, here's the thing. My loom, actually, the one in the back has a computer attached to it. My loom actually is faster than that of the normal weaver.

Where and when is this sheep to shal thing? We got to go. I want to go. By we got to go, I don't think we're going. But when is it? When is the sheep to Shaw? So I'll make sure that we're not there.

Well, I actually think there are several around the country, but the biggest sheep Sheep and Wolf Festival is in Ryanbeck, New York.

I know Ryanbeck. They have an air show. They have an air show there.

Well, they also have the Sheep and Wolf Festival there.

Is this ever airing on ESPN 18?

Espn. I don't know. I don't know. Espn 77.

It'd be cool if it did. Maybe PBS.

Honestly. Let's not be mean now. Or CNN. Hey, so Julia, you get to figure out patterns that you then make into the finished product, right? Can you work like codes and stuff in there? Can you put secret messages into Oh my God, yeah. Right? Look at her eyes. I know. She's clearly has.

East little Easter eggs.

So you can put little things in there because I would think if basically what you're making is the result of a program, this binary program. So Using different colors, you can probably put subliminal messages into the scarves that you make.

Yeah. Well, I don't make scarves, but yeah.

Okay. All right. Is the subliminal message you put in there scarves suck? This is not a scarf. This is not a scarf.

Okay. Well, yes, I've made one scarf, but you can actually. I was actually thinking about that the other day of how could I take a coded message somehow translate it through the code of my loom and make something with it. Definitely possible.

Something that maybe promoted our podcast subliminally.

No.

No.

That's a good idea. No.

A blanket- Translate it into one thing. Yeah, and zeros. Look, these things last forever. These things get passed on from generation to... Right? I mean, theoretically, this could be around hundreds of years from now when someone finds it, and for some reason, they're just like, I really need to check out this. Conor O'Brien needs a fan. It's just because they've inherited this sweater that's been passed down for hundreds of years, and it has this faint message. What do you think?

I could try. I'd be down for the challenge.

There are so many better things. Julia, I'm going to need you to calm down. You're way too gitty. You're way too pumped up.

Loomers are fucking crazy, these guys.

They are. It's a badass world. All the weavers I know are pretty badass.

Do you ever talk shit about other weavers?

I mean, I try to be a good person.

I know. I know.

I know. Weave it into the coat of your scarf.

Is it a small community? Is this weaving community small? Do you guys all know each other?

I would say it's larger than people think it is. There are a lot more weavers out there than you think.

Can I say something? You make it sound like we're out there. Anyone you know could be. Eduardo's over there. He has a little loom underneath the table and he's looming right now. He's weaving and looming. But Julia, this fascinates me because I think you can't escape it in any profession. I'm not asking you to name names or anything, but I'm asking you to confirm my suspicion that even you, this lovely, gentle, intelligent weaver However, sometimes you see another weaver walking down the street, you're like, Hack. I saw that serape they made. Bullshit. Sell out. Sell out. Oh, yeah. Checks. We haven't seen checks in a while. Nice. Oh, yeah. The old double drop loop. That hasn't been done. Did I just make something up with the double drop loop?

Actually, there is double weave. Yes.

No, that's not what you said. You said double drop. She's trying to make you feel better about yourself.

One word that's commonly used in any industry.

I see.

I wonder if there's those weavers who walk into a room and people are like, Oh, shit. That guy's here.

Who is the shit in your energy and in your industry? Julia, it might be you, right?

Be honest. If it's you, you can say.

You can say.

Okay, so I did go to the Digital Weaving Conference last year, and there are some weavers that walked in and I was like, Holy shit, that's crazy. They're here. This person's here. That's on their other weavers.

That's Mortimer Chilling.

I would say I'm working towards that status.

I think you're I'm really trying. I think you're getting there fast. Actually, I think this interview is going to give you a little nudge. Yeah.

Do you have a big social media presence with your weaving and stuff? Yeah.

Where can we see it?

I'm trying. It's U-L-I-A-K-W. It's my Instagram. But I'm really just trying to… I think that when it comes to the competitive part, I am pretty competitive. Good. I can sense that. I want to make fabric. I want to make fabric that the best weaver that I could imagine wouldn't be able to figure out how I made the fabric.

You want the best weaver, let's say, the Oppenheimer of weavers. This Mortimer guy you're talking about. Mortimer. Mortimer Chilling's. You want him, you want to make something where Mortimer or Mort to his fans, Mort Chilling's comes in and you've made it, and he picks it up and he's like, What?Impossible.But how? I don't see the... It's switching from double, triple, half stitch to multi-drop stitch within two parsecs. Is that... Two parsecs, essentially. You want to do that, right?

Yeah, I do. It's a little embarrassing because I want to support people leaving, but then I also want to be like, Four harness, okay.

You can support and be the best at the same time.

Julia, there is nothing wrong with a burning ambition to be the very best at what you and to blow people away and be it. There's nothing wrong with that. That is the fuel.

It should ruin all your relationships and leave a scorched Earth policy.

I'm a very lonely man in many ways, but I wouldn't change a thing because when it comes to dancing like I have invisible strings on my hips in a monolog, I'm the king.

King of the world, boss.

You did it.

Best there ever was, boss.

Yeah, the goat of acting stupid. Hey, Julia, you said that you also... So this is just your... What's your day job?

What's your problem?

My problem is... I don't really know. You know what I got thrown by? As I was asking this question, the red light went on, and I was like, Oh, I'm asking a question when the red light went on, and it threw me.Okay, I see.And I'll admit it. That's fair. You know what? This is me. You can leave it in. I know you like to make me look like a fool, but that's what happened.

I appreciate your honesty. It's nice to see the human side of you.

Well, or if you're from upstate New York, human. Why? Julia, there are other applications for your weaving that I'm told that you use in the scientific community. What would that be?

Yes. I am a tech cell engineer for biomedical implantable textile devices.

I don't even know what that is. My God.

You put a sweater around my heart?

Get this man. Put a cardigan over this man's heart. A sweater over your heart?

You are human.

I am human, Yeah.

But actually, though, like stents, heart valves, bone tethers, meshes, all of that. There's a heart valve that... Knitted fabric actually helps That's where you can see the cells that need to stabilize the medical device in your body. And woven fabric really helps to... If you have a... What is it? The abdominal aortic aneurysm, If you got too much cholesterol or whatever, and you have a event in your heart, the woven fabric prevents the blood from getting stuck on the walls.

My question is, what are you using? You're obviously not using yarn. That's not going to go very well in there. But what can you use that the body won't reject?

We do use yarn. It's just different yarn. It's not like wool or cotton. A lot of times it's polyester, actually.

See, polyester is back. It's cool. It doesn't wrinkle. I like it when my heart valve doesn't wrinkle. You know what I mean? Straight out of the dryer. Yeah. And stains just brush off. Oh, my God. I like when my stent just is easily cleaned. Julia, you're an impressive person. You are. It's very cool that you know how to do all this. I do not think you should feel any reservation about being competitive and wanting to be the badass weaver in the United States of America first and then the world. That should be your goal. Okay?

Okay.

Do we know how to check out? I do want to check out your work.

Yeah, we got your Instagram handle.

Do you want to say it one more time? Yeah, say it one more time so people listening can check it out.

Thank you all. My My Instagram handle is @uliakw.

Very cool. I'm going to check out your stuff. There's probably a lot of photographs there of things. Do you ever sell stuff?

I do, yeah. Most of the stuff in my show is going to be for sale.

Well, you're about to get the cone and bump Yeah, cone and bump.

I'm going to buy a bone tether from you.

I want a hard sweater.

Well, maybe one day you'll need it, and then you'll know what you need.

All right, let's not be so gitty about it, Julia. Man, Julia lit up. Hey, you're going to need one pretty soon, old man.

There's that competitive spirit.

There it is. Oh, you don't think you're going to need one soon? You look like a guy that's going to have a massive hemorrhage soon. If anyone's brain is going to blow, it's me. Yeah, I need a tight knit weave around my skull just to keep it all intact. But Julia, very cool what you're doing. I really like it. It's neat that you're an artist and a crafts person, but you're also working in the medical community. That's a neat... You've pulled off a pretty cool career, I think. You should be proud of yourself.

Thanks. Yeah, it's a little weird. I went to art school. I did not study engineering, so it was a lot to learn.

None of us take necessarily a logical path. I sure didn't, but we figured it out eventually, and eventually, I will figure it out. Julia, thank you so much, and take care of yourself, and good luck at your show. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah, thanks.

Bye.

Bye.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive Produced by Adam Sacks, nick Lyaouh, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our Supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our Associate Talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with EarWolf..