Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callkonan. Okay, let's get started.

Hey, Ben. Welcome to Konan O'Brien needs a fan.

Hi, everybody. How's it going?

Hey, Ben. How are you?

I'm doing just fine. How about yourselves?

I'm doing well. That's all the time we have. It's nice chatting with you, Ben.

It's nice to see you.

Where are you calling in from, Ben?

I'm calling in from Tacoma, but I live just up the road in Seattle. That's in Washington State.

I know my Seattle well. I married into Seattle. My wife is from Seattle, and I go there a lot. Currently, my in-laws from Seattle are visiting us here in Los Angeles. Oh, beautiful. I spent a lot of time with them. Yes, Seattle is a wonderful place. I really like it there.

I keep meaning to go visit that trash can that God for you in Langley, but there's a fair- Yes, I was on an island.

I haven't made it over there. I was in one of the islands, and I was there because my wife had a play that was being produced there. They found out I was in town, and they said they wanted to honor me, and they named a trash can after me. The highest honor. I assumed it was, and I went with it. Actually, we had a lot of fun. It was a nice happening, and a good time was had by all. But let's not talk about me and my awards and the trash can that bears my name. Let's talk about you. Tell us a little bit about yourself. What do you for a living there, Ben?

I've got an assemblage of very odd jobs. My day job is I build pipe organs, the kind you would find in a church or university, stuff like that. Then a seasonal part-time gig as I play organ at the Seattle crack in NHL Games.

Yes, Unleash the Kraken.

You got it, Konan.

No, when they named that NHL franchise The Kraken, I was so happy. Then that's their motto is Unleash the Kraken. I thought, this is genius. I started rooting for the Kraken just because of the creative choice. Oh, there we go. Beautiful. Yeah, I was down with the Kraken. I'm still down with the Kraken.

Is it Unleash or Release? There you go.

Unleash. Usually, it's Release, but not to side with Gurley out the gate. I'm just going by Clash of the Titans. Yeah.

I've been doing it wrong. I've been shouting, Unleash the crackin. Whenever I do that, they lose. This might be unneashed. The crackin was leashed?

You're to blame.

Well, I just think of... I've seen many times I go to the park and stuff and they say, Please keep your Kraken leashed. As a rule follower, that's why I went with unleashish. I was wrong. You guys were right. And, Gourly, you were right.

I wasn't doing it to be right. I was just collecting history of Clash of the Titans. This is important.

I understand. Okay. We have a lot to talk about here. First of all, let's talk pipe organs. I know nothing about pipe organs. Of course, I grew up going to many masses and seeing a lot of pipe organs in my life. I'm very impressed by them, but I don't know anything about them. How did you become a guy who makes a pipe organ? You're a young man. It's not like your great grandfather handed this on down to you. It feels like this is just something you figured out on your own.

Yeah, it's just a series of stumbling into odd career paths. I went to school for engineering and decided about halfway through that I didn't really want to do that and wanted to try and figure out, How can I work with my hands, build stuff? And through a series of very chance encounters at the University of Illinois, got linked up with a pipework and builder there, but they didn't need any more people. And believe it or not, there's a lot of people that do this throughout the country. And so the guy there pointed me to a website that listed a bunch of other ones. And I just sent a bunch of emails saying, Hey, I think what you guys do is neat. Do you need another hand around the shop? And one thing led to another, and now I live in Seattle and do this.

You know what? I like that. Perseverance. Perseverance, you had a sense of what you wanted to do and you kept at it. Did you choose the right path? I'm not sure.

Why? Because verdict's out every day.

To be honest with you, Ben. What do you have against pipe organ? I was attacked by one. Yeah, it fell over on me. The sound it made was incredible. It went, as my life was being crushed out of me. No, Ben, I obviously think it's very cool what you do. Tell me, how many pipes are in a pipe organ?

It depends the size. We will do anything from... Some of the ones we're finishing up right now are a smaller practice size. They go in a practice room or if you had a nice vaulted ceiling, you could fit it in your house. Those might have a couple of hundred. But the biggest organ that we've done, I think, has in the ballpark around 5,000.

5,000 pipes.

Now. They range in size. The smallest one will be about an inch long. That's your high pitch stuff that'll sound like this. Oh, my We have on the bigger range of the scale, the largest pipe that will end up going in most of the organs we do from tip to tail is around 32 feet long.

What sound does that make? Would that make like a...

Exactly. You nailed it.

Oh my God, he's got one.

This isn't quite that big, but we do... This isn't the big one, but it's at least a little deeper to give you the range here.

Oh my God.

I think we overdid it there. It made the sound that we thought it would make, and then all of us went- You did it better, I think, actually.

Oh my God. It's just so different than the other one.

Yes. Wow.

It really was.

I didn't expect- No, one was very high, and then The other was- Small ones do pitch, a high pitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it went low. Yeah, shocking. It's incredible that you learned how to do that. Is there a lot of welding, soldering involved? A a lot of metal work? Do you put on goggles? Are there sparks flying? Paint a picture for me.

Yeah, it's just the fires of vulcan in the face. There's a lot of soldering. The secret to making organ pipes, and actually a lot of brass musical instruments is a lot of just beating the shit out of it until it's the right shape. That's right. It's definitely a physical job. We'll start with liquid. We'll start with ingots of metal, and melt them down in a big furnace. You have this liquid Terminator 2000 looking stuff.

This is a real... I'm sorry, and I don't want to embarrass you, but you're like a real person because you're taking... My job does not involve, and I envy you for this, my job doesn't involve taking ingots of metal and melting them down in a vat. I come into this room in a T-shirt and blah, blah, blah, blah. You're actually building things that will outlive you. These pipe organs will live. They could live for a thousand years.

But not Not to be in your defense, but you make something out of nothing.

It crafts laughter of silence. You're right. I have no ability. No, you're not. I make something.

You're a conjurer.

I'm a conjurer, yes. I suppose I am a conjurer, if you will. Thank you. But I am just- It's not the same.

His is way cooler. Yeah, thank you. It's true. Yeah, that goes without.

You make these amazing organs. Let's say I wanted to buy an organ. It'd be nice if someone would give me one, an organ donor, if you will. But Home run. Home run. But my question is- I take back what I said. But my question is, there was nothing there, and I made something, something horrible. Yeah, a pile of shit. Okay, there you go. Thank you. Critics, everyone's a critic. How much are we talking? Let's say I wanted to buy a pipe organ for my wife for her birthday.

Top of the line? Mid-range?

I'm looking for something mid-range. I don't want to go with a small organ. I want to go with something that has at least a thousand pipes.

Okay, so as long as your estate has the space to accommodate something that big, you're looking probably about the million dollar range.

You're talking to Conor O'Brien. I have nine estates that have been joined together with various bridges and habitrails. I scourry through tubes to get from one estate to the other. Okay, so what are we talking about? Let's say I wanted a thousand pipe Oregon. What do you think it might run me?

You're probably going to run in the million dollar range somewhere, which for you, that's a lot of money.

That's a lot of money. I wouldn't It's a chump change. I mean, I'd have to shake out a couple of couch cushions, but we'd find it. Oh, God. No, no. That's so cool. How long would it take to build?

Usually, it takes about a year from when we'll start in on one project. The shop, there's eight guys that work here full-time, and everyone's got their specialty. Right now, for example, the pipes, we're starting the next organ while we're finishing up some of the casework on the previous ones. But generally, something around that size, like a thousand, two thousand pipes.

Let me ask you a really obnoxious Los Angeles question. If I threw more money at it, could I get it faster?

What if I was like, Hey, man- If you want to come help out, sure.

No, no. Just do that obnoxious like, Hey, I need this in three months. I'll give you 10 million. Or is that just impossible?

It would make my life a lot worse.

If you wanted to do that. The human cost. The guy I'm impersonating doesn't care.

Yeah, and you'd get $10 million.

Well, no. He'd eventually not pay. Oh, man. Come on. That guy sucks. This guy is awful.

Is this guy currently running for president?

He's running again for president. Okay, yeah. But anyway, let's talk about your other gig, which is you play at the crack in games. What songs do you play when you're on that organ? A little bit of everything. There's like, You know that one?

Yeah. There's the old stand-bys, your let's go crack and stuff like that. But especially being a new team, you get to start fresh and really build the repertoire however you see fit. I'll play classic rock songs, I'll play hip hop songs.

You play hip hop on a pipe organ?

You can get away with anything on an organ because there's no lyrics.

Oh, so you're playing some hardcore hip hop?

From time to time.

I don't want to get you in trouble, but what would be the nastiest song that you've played at a crack in game? Or do you not want to say?

Well, you guys don't censor anything, right? I think The song title that would have gotten me most in trouble, there's an exhibit song called Motherfucker. That's an example. I love Motherfucker. That you probably couldn't play it. It's your jam. Can we sing some of it, Tony?

Can we sing some of it? We all know Motherfucker. That's a good one. Why don't you rap? Something like that. Oh, that's so cool. That's great. Why don't you play it and I'll sing it? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, what? What? What? What? What? Motherfucker. I mean, that was actually...

I was almost right is what shocking is that you were pretty close on where the motherfucker dropped. It must be fun.

I mean, first of all, it sounds like you're a talented musician as well. So this must be really nice that you've built this life for yourself.

It's one of those things you show up to work and it's like, it is stupid that someone let me do this.

Every day it seems like, I know exactly what you're talking about.

I thought you might.

No, I do think, to get serious for a second, I do think that one of the main goals, then I talk to my kids about this all the time is really try and figure out what excites you, what you like, and then just keep at it and try and figure out a way to make that thing that brings you some joy, a career. Absolutely. Because I talk to people all the time who really hate what they do. That's just no way to go through life if you can possibly avoid it.

Well, and like the other side of it, the advice part of it, too, that I'll tell people all the time is that any job I've ever had has never been from a job listing and just applying something. It's been finding like, Oh, here's something I'm really interested. Then you have to find the people who are doing what you want to do and find a way to get involved.

I can't believe how many people do this. Yeah, it's pretty common. Do pipe organs. Is it common? Do you guys have conventions?

It's more It's more common than you'd think.

Every city needs one of you guys, right?

Yeah.

No, it's true. Every city needs at least someone who's making pipe organs or maintaining them. Then you got to figure out if there's at least one, often there's more. Do you guys have a union? Is there a pipe organ union? There's no union, not yet. Let's organize. I'd like to organize you guys.

We'll get on the phone.

We're going to do this.

Then let's you and I unionize, Sona.

I'm down. I'm going to bring in some thugs and goons.

For just the two of us?

Yeah, it's going to be like an automobile plant in the '30s. Oh, man. I'm going to beat you with pipes. Get the National Guard on trains to come in. Yes, exactly. I'm going to get I like these guys that really are dressed like it was the '30s. You guys are just going to be having a quiet conversation over in the kitchen area over Flawn talking about, Yeah, maybe we could work out. And these guys are going to come and just start whaling on you with pipes. Yeah. Hey, and you You can bring the pipes.

Yeah, there you go. Perfect. I think I'm on their side, though. Solidarity. Thank you, Ben.

Yeah, you'll be on their side, but later on you realize, wait a minute, the pipes they used that Konan had the goons hit, Sona and Gorley with were made. That's going to be the twist ending. You're going to think this is horrible, and then you're going to see your signature on the pipes.

See? But then I'll remember that $10 million demand where I had to work around the clock, slaving away for Konan's pipe organ. And then I'll remember, no, my heart's with the little people.

Yeah, exactly. Then you realize I didn't need a pipe organ. I just wanted the pipes to hit Gouralian Sonr to keep them from unionizing. Hey, Konan, do you care about that? I don't care about what's the size of the pipes. Send the bigger, heavier pipe sooner. I don't like those little pipes.

I don't need the organ, just the pipe.

Yeah, I don't need the organs. I just need the pipe. That's very cool. The one that you play for the crack in, I know that you play hip hop and stuff like that, but how does the Let's Go crackin song go? Is it the standard? Is it...

That's your standard.

Let's Go Unleash the crackin, right?

Well, it's just usually it's Unleash the crackin'.

It's release.

And then the clap's.

Release the crack.

Unleash the crackin.

Just say you were incorrect and you were wrong.

It really flows. Unleash the crackin. Un, you get to really hit un. Release Unleash the crackin. Nope, doesn't work. Release the crack. Unleash the cracker. Let's see if I can get this turned around in Seattle so it's Unleash the cracker.

This cracker, this underwater sea creature is on a leash?

Yeah. He's on a leash. Okay. The other team isn't afraid and they're winning. Then suddenly, the mascot comes out and unleashes the cracker.

It's just in the movie, there's literally a cage that they release the cracker.

It's a lot of logistics to have to fight with a leash. To do with a leash?

No, you take the leash off. Now, there is going to have to be a collar Does he have a harness, too, or is it just the collar? He has a harness, too. It keeps his chest stable, and it's easier to walk him, and he heels better. And he has a little torseau sweater. He has a little torseau sweater. Yeah. And he's got a- Braves vaccine tag. Yeah, He's got a little thing that says what his chip ID number is. Because when your cracker goes lost, you want to make sure that if anyone finds him, they take him to the nearest vet. That's true. Listen, I've given this a lot of thought, and I think I've just improved the cracker. This is very cool. I think we should chip in because we have a cool little spot here. Chip in? Let me see where I'm going. Okay.

Let him see where he's going.

Let me see where I'm going here. We have a place here, our offices, and I think there'd be some room for a pipe organ. That is exactly where I thought he was going. It would have to be not too big because our space isn't huge. The pipes would probably have to go through at least two ceilings and come out the roof. Would that work?

We can give you some smaller ones that are only about 12 feet tall. That might just be one ceiling for you. There's options. We can talk about it.

You said chip in? We have to chip in?

Wait a minute. Why should I have to pay for everything?

This is your building, your podcast.

I'm not interested in co-owning an organ. I want the full thing.

Yeah, I would like a whole organ.

My assumption was that you guys would donate, but I would still own it completely.

No. We're not going to donate. We're going to unionize.

That's right. All I'm going to need these pipes faster than I thought. I'll get crack on them. I want the really good Wackin' pipes. I don't care what they sound like. As I'm hitting, so do you hear, Duh, Duh. Hey, Ben, it's been really nice talking to you. Do you have a question?

My question would be, it's a matter of when, not if you make the transition into professional sports. Thank you. Physique such as yours, I think you're natural for hockey. Ben, I've always- I'm always curious.Ben.

I admire where you're coming and you seem like a very sensible and perceptive young man. The question is, what sport?

The question would be, when you make the jump over to hockey, what would you want as your goal song? You've just absolutely wheeled down the ice and you found an opening in the goal, you embarrass them, you just get the fuck in the back of the net. What song do you want reverberating as the crowd goes wild?

What's the theme from Saint Alma's Fire? Oh, it's under We're going to get it. Eduardo's looking it up. What is it? Oh, were you just doing your taxes? You jumped immediately on the-I was researching unions. You can join.

You can join.

Now we're three strong. You're going to get a head full of pipe if you're not careful. Is it called For Just a Moment? Or Love Theme?

I think it's called Saint Alma's Fire, isn't it?

It's a love theme from Saint Alma's Fire. I don't think that's it.

Who sings it?

Which is really what you want for hockey It's a nice love theme. Yeah.

That no more tell us. That no more tell us. That no more fire Man in Motion. Man in Motion. Can you play a second of it? John Parr. Sure. We'll have to take it out, right? Yeah, this will have to be taken out. I know, but then maybe I can sing a second of it, and then they'll still come after us, but I'll avoid them. I'm very good at that. Why do you want this to be... Oh my God, it's an '80s song. It's going to take... How much time do you have, Ben? It's going to take 20 minutes.

Are they going to Can you play the whole song after you score a goal?

Yeah, the whole song. I thought you'd know.

They'll do about... Yeah, just for Konan, they'll stop and everyone will stop, politely listen.

Is there someone that can play like it? If he does a guitar solo. Luckily, if I take the music out, I don't think this is in any way a royalty problem.

No, I don't know. There's all my na na na na, and there's other people in it, too.

But the main one I remember is Demi Moran, Ra-bo. Na na na na na, because it's ain't almost fire. Yeah, that's what I want to play with those lyrics.

Are you going to sing it? You're going to score, and then you're going to grab a mic. Ben's accompanying you on the organ.

Here's the deal. I score a goal, okay? I put the crack in the head, drop my stick, Ben Then Ben tosses me a mic, I grab it. Long intro, '80s style. Then, remember there was a movie, it came out in '85. The crowd is filing out a beer in it. Ben is whaling away with me. This is going to be great. I'm playing air guitar with my hockey stick.

I can't wait until someone just beats you. And from the other team, just beats you sensuously.

That's going to take at least five. That's going to take five minutes for someone to get organized enough. All right, Ben, it was so cool talking to you. My pleasure. I look forward to joining the crack and tell the crack and I'm coming and I'm going to join. Yeah, for sure. I'm going to sing the Saint Elmo's theme after every goal I score. You are going to accompany me. I have new lyrics, which just basically lists who I can remember from the cast. It's Unleash the crack and not Release the crack.

It is now officially Unleash the crack and I want that change made to all merchandise.

And to Clash of the Titans.

You're going to go back and change Nope.

Okay. Hey, Ben, very nice to meet you. Very cool talking to you and continued success. I think you're a very cool guy.

Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Have a good one, you guys.

Take care.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien Sonam Ofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at EarWolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with EarWolf.