Hello. Sorry, I changed the script instead of Hi. I got to make it my own. Hello, my name is Walton Goggins, and I feel cozy about being Konan O'Brien's friend.

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, I can tell that we are going to be friends.

I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a friend. Joined by my copilot and co-copilot, Sonam of Cessian. Okay. Matt Gourley. Does that work that way? Navigator. No. Are you a navigator? I'm a co-copilot. Okay. All right, please. Boo. The plane just lost its wings.

I'm running on fumes because I'm having a colonoscopy tomorrow, and I'm not allowed to have solid food today, and I'm starving.

I've talked about this a lot. Have you had a colonoscopy before? I have. Up the poop shoot.

Okay. What? Wait, they didn't tell me that.

They can also go through the mouth. What? It takes longer. What? Why would you want that wing? I don't know. It's a more interesting trip. You pass valuable real estate. It's the scenic route. I went in through the ear once. What? Right ear, yeah. You just see all kinds of cool stuff. We've talked about it a lot. You're getting the drug, right?

I'm not sure this is a different health care provider this time. What? I'm not sure what.

I will bring you the drug. Bring me the drug.

I got the drug last time, but it didn't quite live up to the hype that you had.

Then you're a fool.

No, I think just because you've never had many drugs before.

That might be it. It's because I've never had a drug that when I get even Novocaine at the dentist office to replace a crown, not even do any drilling. If I just get the slightest medication, suddenly it's loosing the sky with diamonds. I think so. I bought Tylenol from a guy in an alley once. Oh, no. It was coded. Coded Tylenol. Yeah, it's a good time. It's a good time. It's a good time. You're going to have a great time at your colonoscopy.

I'm sad. Why are you sad? I have to miss our session tomorrow for Will. They won't have been on yet, but it's a guess that I'm sad to miss.

Oh, that's great. Oh, please. The Pope will come on again.

He's doing my colonoscopy.

You're having this colonoscopy, and that's good. We should make people aware. That's why I brought it up. It's good to get checked out.

Yeah, and I think the age is younger now, so all you kids can get in there and have some fun. All right. 45, right? Isn't that the- Is it?

Is it right? Yeah. I actually have to schedule mine. I have to get my first one. Do you have any tips for someone who's never had a colonoscopy? To be before?

Don't bother.

You'll be fine. All right, great. No, I mean, what do you mean tips? I don't know. You're talking about not eating any Jell-O. No, the prep is the undressing part. You're not even awake for the procedure.

It's the prep that's the nightmare.

I thought you were awake and you were watching it all happen. No, you're out of it. It's a twilight drug. When you wake up, the first time I did it, and when I woke up, I was wearing someone else's clothes. I was on a bus. I was on a Crosstown bus. I was Portugal. I mean, all kinds of shit happened, and I was unaware of it. I do have a question. I know I'm going to get made fun of, but I was actually curious. That's just because you're asking the question. Do they let you keep the footage?

No, you never see the footage.

You don't see the footage. You really don't get to see it? I know, but do you get the footage? Can you get the footage? You know what this reminds me of? I have no idea. This reminds me of when I was, I think I was 10, doubled over in pain, and it gets worse and worse throughout the night, and I wake in the morning and my dad, who's a doctor, said, Hey, you're not on my health plan. Fuck you. You're not even my kid. Yeah. We're not even sure you're my kid. There's no red hair in my family. Anyway, then the milkman came by. Papa. Started doing the string dance as he left the milkman. I went… Anyway, I just assaulted 55 of my most beloved people in my life all at once. Anyway, my dad took me to the hospital. They said, Oh, this kid's appendix is bursting right now. They actually had a priest who was, I think, in the hospital anyway, but they said, Why do you want to hang out? Because we don't know if this guy... I remember that. I remember a priest coming in, which is never a good son, even when you're in a church.

That could have been more of a Damian thing. Yeah, exactly. My head was spinning around. It's never good to see a priest. Trust me. The priest came in and said, Oh, devil. He went, No, no, no. He's got appendicitis. But he seems possessed. Well, one day I'll have a podcast. Anyway, they took Just before I went under, I swear to God, I'm this weird 10-year-old kid with orange hair and freckles and fucked up teeth. I said to the doctor, I want to keep my appendix. He I said, promise me. He went, yes, yes, I want my appendix. I want it. They went, yes, yes. Then count backwards from 10, 10, 9, and then you're out. Then I wake up and I'm in a lot of pain. Then later on, I said, Can I see my appendix now?

They went, what are you talking about? I think you talked to David Sedaris about this? I did. I wanted it.

Because he kept his spleen or something. He got to keep his spleen, yeah. But it was illegal or something. And he had it with some candy. But I would have loved to have had that, and they promised me. What were you going What would you do with it? You were 10. Well, now I would have cloned a new Konan. He could do the Konan fans. I could do these. Out of a burst appendix. That's a good idea. What a screwed up version of Konan that would be.

We should have like- Lookalike versions of ourselves do the fan episode. It's like second poor man versions.

I get Ben Marshall from Please Don't destroy.

And I get George Clooney.

All right.

I'll just be here then if George Clooney is coming. People say I look like Sarah McLachlin. Oh, you do? Sure. Sure. Yeah.

And Judy Greer a little, too.

Okay, I'll take it. There's some other people. What? I don't know. Why did you dismiss me like that? I think you're more Anthony Quinn to me. You've got this swerver, the Greek exuberance. I always think of you as the female Anthony Quinn. You're always smashing plates and dancing across the horizon. I am. Okay. All right, we got to get into it. Good luck with your colonoscopy tomorrow. Yeah, good luck. All the best. Hey, I'll come. Yeah, I'll be there, too. I want to lie on the table next to you and get a dose. They can put a hose up there if they want. When you wake up, I'm spooning with you, snoozing away. They're like, What? Oh, he came in just as you went under. He said you were okay with it.

I'd rather have a malignant tumor up there.

Oh, God. Wow. You might want to take that back. Oh, boy. My guest today, I love there's no way into this. No, I know. He deserves better, too. Does he? My guest today has started. Search shows as Justified and the Righteous Gemstones. Now you can see him in the hit series, Fallout, available to stream on Amazon Prime Video. I love him. Excited he's here today. Walton Gaugans. Welcome. I just hugged you on the way in, and I lingered on the hug.

You did linger, and I lingered, too. I didn't know who was going to pull away first. I think we did it simultaneously because we making everyone else uncomfortable.

We were technically- I contacted HR. We were separated by your publicist. You started talking about his musculature, and then we were like, This went on too long. He said, The guy's in great shape.

That has a lot to do with the White Lotus. It has a lot to do with whenever anyone is not working at the White Lotus, it's walking into the gym and saying, Oh, hi. Hello. Hello. Could you please get off the treadmill right now? We've been down there for three months.

I wanted to talk about this because I was in Bangkok, I don't remember how long ago now, shooting for our travel show. It was a really hot day. I had my experience there, which has been well-documented. Then not long ago, I ran into, before you guys started shooting White Lotus, I run into none other than Mike White in a restaurant. Really? We start chatting because we've met each other once or twice before, and he's a very funny, cool guy. I said, Hey, so you're going the next season of White Lotus, you're going down to to Thailand, right? He said, Yeah. I said, I was there. I had a great time. I made a lot of friends. Then I said, If there's a part for me, I'm available. He looked at me and he said, You know, there's a lot of sex work there. I said, I could do that. What? I could play a part where I'm a male gigolo or something. It was a desperate then depraved.

This is the last podcast you will ever do, Coden. I just- Yes, you could do that. Yeah, I believe that you could do that.

When I'm saying, do you think I could play that part or do you think I actually could be a gigolo?

A gigolo. Well, I think you could do both. I think you could play that part and You could be that person in real life. Okay. Yeah. I appreciate that. Absolutely.

I believe in you. It's all about hydration.

No. What? That's 1%. What? Take it from me.

No, but I got to say, I Absolutely loved it. I loved it there. I loved the country, and the people were fantastic. It must be an amazing place to be shooting.

Question for you. Did you go outside of Bangkok? Did you get up to Chiang Mai or down to the islands?

We did not get to because we have to get everything in about, I would say, 10 days. We have so much to do that we found that if we travel within the show, we can do it in some places. We did it in Norway, but if we try to travel in Ireland where things a little more concentrated, but we really wanted to get down to Bouquet, we wanted to get up north, but you lose too much time, and then you lose a lot of stuff that way.

Well, this isn't my first time in Southeast Asia. I spent two months traveling all over Southeast Asia, and I was in Thailand for, I don't know, three weeks or something like that. Then I was in Cambodia. I went all over Cambodia and all over northern Vietnam and made my way up to this little town called Sapa on the Chinese border. But when I first got to Bangkok, the very first time, this is a cool story. Okay. I'm there. I'm meeting my mom for this first three or four days. It's at a particular time in my life, and I'm looking for something. So my mom accompanies me for a few days. We meet there, we get there, we do the last leg from LA or wherever it is in Hong Kong into Bangkok. I have, we get in at night. You want to stay up. I'm with my mom, and we go, we find a... We're staying in a super cool little small hotel in the middle of nowhere, this area called Wat Po that I found online because it was before smartphones and all the rest of it. We go out and have a drink, and here we go.

This is going to be our Southeast Asian adventure. Go to sleep, wake up to a phone ringing. For some reason, I just thought, because I'm a narcist, that's probably for me. That phone ringing is probably... Somebody's probably calling me. It's my my girlfriend at the time. There are only three or four rooms in this place. I go downstairs, I'm jet lagged. I pick up the phone and the woman is screaming at me in Thai. Obviously, it's not for me. You hope. Obviously. I said, Well, No, I'm so sorry. I'm just a guest here. I thought I just picked up the phone because I thought... And she stopped me mid-sentence and she said, There's been a coup. And I said, I'm sorry, what did you say? She said, There's been a coup, so you stay in the hotel.

So the military took power there while you were just hanging out?

My first morning there. I'm thinking, Okay, God, I wish I looked as cool as James Woods. I didn't know that it was really happening, but she said, Yes, there's been a coup. Everything is cool. It's a peaceful coup. You're fine. Just hang out in the hotel until we get there. Don't go outside. Lo and behold, they did come 45 minutes later or whatever. We got dressed and we walked outside and it was a peaceful coup. People were out in the streets and their tanks were out and the guns were out.

But peaceful tanks and peaceful guns. Yes.

Nobody was messing with them.

Guns made of like rubber. I didn't know there could be peaceful coups. Yeah, I know.

I don't think there was much resistance to this coup, but that was my entree into Southeast Asia. Oh, my God. I had the most incredible time of my life, and I agree with you. I think Thai people in general are some of the kindest, most generous, peaceful people I've ever met in my life.

Yeah, they were very warm. I happen to know this about you that you enjoy... One of the things that you love when you travel is drinking with people in different strange situations. Is that true?

I do. That is true.

Part of your ethos when you travel is I like to share whatever the local drink is with people. You like to imbibe, and that's a way of getting to know the culture.

Yes, that is one way of getting to know the culture. It happens to be my favorite way of getting to know the culture for sure. But I travel with an open heart. I have no itinerary. It's about improvisation for me. I've made my way to some places that you can't buy a ticket to and experiences that are once in a lifetime, only because I genuinely am curious about the world, and I'm curious about people and their worldview. I want to get to know them, and I've been invited into a lot of circumstances just because I come hard forward, I guess, in that way.

I'm curious because it sounds funny, but it also does seem to be like A natural way to get to know a culture is to have their drink. Do you know what ever? Because, yes, it relaxes you, everything. But it's also, I mean, Sona and I travel to Armenia together, and we were having the Romanian food, but we were also having whatever they were drinking. Oli, yeah. They take a lot of pride in it, and it's good. Yeah. I remember, and the same thing, you got trashed. I did. But when But I was in Finland. They kept saying, Konan, now she's still hung over. It was like eight years ago. But we went to Finland together. You didn't come to Finland. But when I went to Finland, they have a drink called Korske & Cova. When you first take a shot of I think, you just took this from a jet engine. But then you start to see the wisdom of Korshka and Cova. When I encounter people now from the different travels that I've done, if I mention their drink. If they run into me in New York City and I'm talking to someone from Finland, I say, Hey, too bad we can't go grab some Korshka and Cova.

They're like, Yes, you see me. You see me. I say, Yes, and you see me. I'm, I think, an alcoholic. But I like to be seen. I like that you know me. I had a memory of you, an experience involving you recently, which you do not know about, which is my wife and I had put a lot of stuff in storage, and we were going back because of the different... I moved from the Warner Brothers offices, and we moved... In the old days, we were in New York, so we always have stuff in storage. We went to go through it all and figure out, is there anything that should leave storage? At one point, I'm with my wife, and there's this woman there that runs storage facility. We're in the valley, and we're going through stuff, and we open a box, and my wife just picks up this, what looks like a furry dead animal out of the box, and she says, What the hell? What is this? I said, That was a gift from Walton Goggins. No. Hold on. Yes. Listen, you were promoting The Hateful 8. In The Hateful 8, the whole movie takes place in Minnie's Habitashri.

It does take place in Minnie's Habitashri.

The whole haberdashery, the walls are covered with different pelts. I was excited. I'm a Quentin Tarantino fan. You came backstage after the show and said, Konan, I brought you a gift, and you handed me one of the many pelts that was hanging on the wall from Minnie's haberdashery, which is there for the whole shoot. I was like, My God, thank you. I put it cut to my wife saying, What the hell is this? She said, We're getting rid of it. I said, We're not getting rid of it. Walton Goggins gave that to me. Of course, now I bring it up, and you don't even know what I'm talking about.

No, I know exactly what you're talking about now. I did do that, and I'm glad that you kept it.

Yeah, I kept it. You also gave me Quentin Tarantino's Amex card. Yeah, which I also have kept. No, but I did. I just was like, No, we're hanging on to that because I love the movie. I love your performance in it. I thought, that's very cool that you gave that to me. I'm hanging on to that. It's It's my Citizen Cane warehouse. When I die, my last words are going to be, Gargans. Everyone's going to wonder, what does it mean? Reporters are going to scramble, and it's going to end with everyone throwing my stuff into a fire in a warehouse. That'll happen. Then it'll be like, Yeah, you'll be there, and taking the occasional thing, and then one worker just picking up a pelt and shrugging and tossing it in. Why did he say Gaugins? I guess we'll never know. We'll never know.

I guess we'll never care.

I guess we'll never care. But anyway, that was a really nice memory I had.

Jennifer and I, as they do when a movie is wrapping, more often than not, the production will put up a sale. The things that people may want to get money back for the studio that's paying for it. We both looked at each other and asked for the whatever the catalog before it came out. Because we had both been governing all of these animal skins for six months. Like, wow, that's just a pretty brown one right there. What are they going to... That would look so good on a sofa.Unbelievable.Hey.

We could give that to Conan.

He's just dumb enough to take it. Konan will love this one.

It really does look like a squirrel that got run over by a truck. That's what it looks like more than anything else, which might be what it is, but it was A very nice memory. Also, I've watched all of Quentin Tarantino's movies many times. I've watched that one several times. That would not be what I would take from that movie. What would you take? I would want Kurt Russell's beard from that movie. I'm guessing it's real because Kurt Russell seems like a guy that could have grown that beard maybe in two days.

Yes, in two days.

But God- It's the best head of hair, too.

Jesus Christ. God, his hair is so... It is.

It is amazing.

I hate him and his hair.

Can I get to tell you one really quick story?

Is it about his hair? Yes. It's not even about his hair. It's just a segue to a moment, just to a memory, because so much of that was exhausting for everybody there, and it was extremely cold. It was just hours upon hours in this room that Quentin had set to a certain temperature. Because he didn't to manufacture these breaths, he wanted them to be real. He also said, I made the room really cold so I would work faster. But he just kept wearing bigger jackets.

A cheater.

There was one moment Where we would all sit and huddle in a corner and all of us just confer in this one part of the bar right there. But there was one moment, one night, where everyone was so tired. Kurt was just, I say seeing things because we all saw things being up that late, and I saw him having a conversation with a chair. I just talked to Sam. I said, Look at him, man. What do you think he's saying to that chair right now? It was this drug-induced insanity. Well, that cast, you- Tarantino-induced insanity.

Samuel Jackson, Kurt. I mean, it's just incredible. What an insane cast.

It was a dream of a lifetime. It really It really was. And Madson and Tim Roth and all of them. It's really… We were still… What has it been? Eight years or something like that. And we just texted, I don't know, the other day. We text about once a month or something like that, somebody will reach out and say, Where are the haters? What are they doing? And it's just the cast.

That's so cool, the hateful eight. You're the haters.

Yeah, it's the hater board. That's what we call it. And still, we started it when we were in production, and it's still going strong eight years later.

You're appearing in so many things now, so many great shows, so many great movies. It must be hard to believe sometimes when you think back to you as a kid growing up. I know you were, I think you were born in Alabama, is that correct?

I'm born in Alabama, raised in Georgia.

But you just had this vision that this is what you were supposed to be doing with your life. That's how it's always occurred to me or when I've read about you, heard about you, that you just had this idea that, I need to be doing this. I need to be an actor. Not that you necessarily knew a ton of people who did that. It felt like almost a vision.

The fact that you're doing a travel show and you live the life that you have lived, and other people have had a similar trajectory and the audacity of thinking that you can live a life as a creative person person. For me, I'm a poor kid from Georgia. I was raised in a very unconventional way. When I say crazy women, what I mean by that is that's what I love. I was raised mostly by women, and they were insane.

Was your dad... Your dad was out of the picture when you were three?

Yeah, he was out when they were three, right? But he was around a little bit. But mostly it was my grandmother and my mom and her sisters. We've talked about this before. My aunt and uncle were both actors in the theater, so I'd been exposed to that and seeing them on stage for the first time. But I was also raised with a group of people that were extremely entertaining. We watched TV a little bit. It wasn't like a big movie household or anything like that. We sat outside on the porch and told stories about the day or about things that happened in the past, and the baton would be passed, if you will. I just happened to come from a family where everyone was entertaining on some level. I still think about it, and I miss it, and I miss those times. But really, other than walking into the casting director's office when I was 14 years old, and we've gone through that story as well, I wanted to see the world first and foremost. But I was drawn to storytelling, not because of exposure to cinema or exposure to anyone else that had done it, but because I felt like, wow, this is a place I feel normal.

I think I am Some people that know me would say that I am earnest. I'm an earnest guy, and I'm a pretty sensitive guy. I suppose there's a little level of volatility there on some level, but it was a place that I found great comfort in, a place where I felt like I belonged. I didn't know how to go about doing it, even though I was very lucky to start working in Atlanta.

It's funny because my observation about you is that... Because I was thinking about you today, knowing that I'd see you, and I was thinking about all the work that you've done and all the roles that you've played, and whether it's you're in vice principals or whether you're in Righteous Gemstones, which I adore. I love Righteous Gemstones. So whether you're in one of those shows or even on Justify when you're playing this character who's got terrible, terrible flaws and racist views and former neo-nazi, Boyd Crowther, all of your characters are entertaining people. They're very silver-tongued, and they're funny. They're funny characters, and I've always thought, you can't play that unless that is in some way the essence of who you are. I don't think an unfunny person can play a funny person. Does that feel right to you?

I would agree with that. I guess, yeah.

In the way that I am never going to play a sexy man in a movie. Listen, I have- That's It's not.

If I can play a sexy man, you can play a sexy man.

No, no, no, no. Guess what? There have been many screen tests, and apparently, when the camera gets in close, there's a thing that happens. The camera breaks. It's a break. It's shattered. But no, what I'm saying is there's a quality you have where I think, Oh, there's no way Walton wouldn't be a fun guy to hang out with because you've played too many characters that really tickle me, where I think, Oh, yeah. Okay. He'd be a fun hang.

I think I'm a pretty fun hang. Yeah, I think I'd be a fun hang. I know how you guys feel about this, but I'm not funny in the way that Danny McBride is funny, right? Situationally funny. My wife is very, very funny, and I hang out with some funny people. Not a lot of comedians. I don't have a ton of comedian friends, but I think I can throw some stuff out without trying to be funny, and people find it humorous. But more often than not, whenever I'm working, I take all of those things very, very seriously. It really isn't comedy for me, and it's not not comedy either. It's just this is the reality of the situation, and it dictates this experience, and just turn myself over to it and try not to control any of it.

There was a great flashback scene in the Righteous Gemstones back to earlier in your life where you clog and dance. It I didn't know that your character was going to be clogging, and you start singing this song about being naughty and clogging. I was howling, but also appreciating that, Shit, he's good.

Thank you, Tony. I appreciate that.You can clog.Thank you.

You can clog. I can. Which would make you, in my opinion, if you can clog and you can drink, and you can drink and clog, you're a really good hang.

There's a lot of countries I I've got a tour coming ahead of me is what you're saying. I do. My mom was a great dancer. She was a really good dancer, and she took me into clogging lessons when I was really young so that I could dance with her. She also taught me how to two-step. I grew up going to honky-tonk bars and things of that nature. She did a dance called the Bop, which is the Florida version of the North Carolina Shag, which is like the working man's version of a very posh Southern dance. And dancing and music and drinking and celebration was a big part of my childhood, and I'm so grateful for it. I don't meet that many people that have clogging on their resume or hog calling.

It's so funny because the Can you make a still in 10 minutes? Yes, I can, sir.

You know what? I had somebody come up to me the other day, a very dear friend of mine, and I just posted this picture of... Just because it was the end of a very big block in the White Lotus, and I was having a glass of wine, which I do nightly, and listening to this Radiohead song, and I just recorded this video of me singing this Radiohead song. When I am what it was like working on the White Lotus, this is probably what I'll say. A very good friend of mine said, the next day, I saw her and she said, You listen to Radiohead? Yeah, I listen to Radiohead. She said, I thought you only listened to Wayland Jenning. I thought you only... Only like Willy Nelson, only like, Ernest Tubbs. I said, No, man, I listen to Ethiopian jazz, man. I listen to everything. You got it. I mean, once you lead with I clog and I hog call, then everybody else thinks, Well, he always eats fried pork chops and country fried steak and biscuits.

Where's Walton? I don't know. Let's go to the cracker barrel. He'll be over there.

He'll definitely get it. Hey, where's Walton?

Walton's over there. He's at the jerky stand.

That's where he spends all his per diem.

Yeah, the studio is chewing you out. You spent $900 on jerky? It's funny because I am a fan of all your work across the board, and I'm really loving Fallout, which we will get to. Really loving Fallout in your role in that and your portrayal of the Ghoul. It's so funny because I was thinking about what are your influences and what lit you up when you were a kid. I will never forget, I think it was the first year I was doing the late night show It'd be 1993. We had Billy Bob Thornton on, and he had just done Sling Blade. I'm talking to him and I'm thinking, Oh, my God, this guy's up for the Oscar. Everyone's talking about this new guy, Billy Bob Thornton. What an incredible... He transformed into this character, and what an amazing... I sit down with him and I said, I'm nervous because I'm new at this gig. Not sure I'm going to make it. I just said, Well, what are your influences? Thinking he would say, Well, the plays of Chekoff or something. He said, The Andy Griffith Show. I said, What? Then he proceeded to talk about The Andy Griffith Show for the entire interview.

I was fascinated by that because I thought, I love that he knows The Andy Griffith Show that well. He's a Southern fellow, but he loves that show. I remembered thinking, you're right, it was the best character comedy of its day. Just beautifully acted and written character comedy. I revere that show, and I think you had a similar attachment to the Andy Griffith show, didn't you?

I can't believe that you're bringing that up. First and foremost, Billy is an old friend of mine, and we met doing The Apostle with Robert DuVall. It was Just right around that time, I think maybe he had done the movie, but the movie hadn't come out yet. Then I had done this movie with Dwight Yokem, and so I had fallen into this group of some of my heroes because I'm from the south, and he's from Arkansas, and it's Dwight Yokem. No, but they were genuinely some of my heroes, and I was hanging out with them. I was camping up in Yosemite after Sling Blade came out, and I came down for some reason to call my answering machine from the pay phone that is in the middle of nowhere up there. I called, and there was a message from Billy Bob saying, Hey, man, I've got this thing I want you to do, but you need to get here immediately. I went with my girlfriend, packed all the stuff up, came back, and went down and did it, but Andy Griffith was in that movie. We got to meet Andy Griffith and hang out with him.

But getting ready, as most actors do, or creators do, the same question for you, but getting ready for the unicorn. I was looking for, Okay, what is this? And who is Wade? And how can I ground him? How can I make this a half hour your sitcom without ever telling a joke and make it as touching as it is as it is funny? And so I sat down and started watching all of Andy Griffith. I thought I would only watch the first season, but I watched the first two. It's deeply political, deeply personal, and it's comforting, and it is very, very funny. My son came into the experience with me, and we didn't stop until we finished RFD Mayberry RFD at the end without Andy even involved with it anymore. It's an extraordinary experience.

It's unbelievable you got to work with Andy Griffith.

Yeah, I'm a huge Andy Griffith fan. Actually, this movie that my partner and I made. At one point, we wanted... It was the fourth movie we made, but we made a movie for... We produced a movie for somebody else, another filmmaker. It was called Them That Follow. Not Them That Follow. That's my movie. It was called...

I I think you're having a total psychotic break.

I am having a psychotic break.

I think you need a drink immediately. I do need a drink.

This coffee just isn't cutting it. You know what? I'll think of the name of the movie in a second. These things come and go with me. I'm like right here in the middle. In the moment.

We can insert it later using my voice. Yes. But I'll be trying to sound like you. Perfect. It will be awful.

Yeah. Can you say the sentence you're going to say and leave a space for the movie, and then we'll put Konan's-Perfect.

Version of it? We were doing this movie called That Evening, Son. We reached out to Andy Griffith first, and he read it, and he just wasn't comfortable with it. But that was our one chance to work with Andy after this experience with Billy Bob, and we wound up reaching out to Hal Holbrook and How did it and killed it.

I don't think I've told this story. I hope I haven't, but Andy Griffith was on our show early on. No. Yes, sir. Sometimes Sometimes the writers will pressure a performer to do a sketch or a bit if you go on a late night show. Hey, Walton, it might be funny if we cut backstage and we were lighting you on fire or something. That's a bit we always tried to do. Anyway, this writer who, God bless him, he's not with us anymore, Marsh McCall, walked up to Andy Griffith and said, Mr. Griffith, we have this idea for you that you could do on the show where Cohen is doing the monolog and we cut backstage to you and it could be really funny. And Andrew Griffith could not have been nicer. He said, Sir, I thank you so much for this offer, and I'm really honored. I do love writers, and I've always relied on great writing, but I think I'll take a pass. I just want to talk to Cohn, I think, this first time, and maybe when I come back. And so Marsh leaves the room. Then Marsh decides, It's a really funny idea.

And he goes back and he goes, Excuse me, Mr. Griffith? And he goes, Yes, sir. And he says, I just think it'd be really funny. I mean, it is a really funny idea. And maybe I didn't explain it right. And he tells him the whole idea again. Andy Griffith says, Well, no, I do understand the idea, sir, and I appreciate it, and thank you so much. I just think I'll take a pass this one time, and I'll just talk to Konan, and we'll have the interview, and again, maybe next time. Marsh leaves, and Marsh goes out in the hallway, and he just had the bit in his mouth. He couldn't let it go. So he went in one last time and he went, I'm sorry, Mr. Griffith, and Andy Griffith turned to him and said, with a big smile, Son, just walk away. Jesus. And it's Andy Griffith from Facing the Crowd. It's that Andy Griffith. The Crowd. Son, just walk away. I've never forgotten that. Wow. What a great... That's a great story. Yeah, I don't know. But I'm thinking about... What's interesting to me is that on Justified, you were not supposed to be a recurring character in Justified.

What's amazing is that only made sense to me later on, because in the first episode with you, Tim Olefent, famously towards the end of the episode shoots you, and it looks like he shoots you right through the heart. Then later on, they go, He's okay. I thought, Oh, he shot you in the non-vital part of the heart? When you looked at it later on, it was because they looked at you, they looked at you in the dailies and everything, and they said, We can't let this guy go. But you didn't get shot in the arm, you didn't get shot in the throat. You got shot through the heart at close range. Then And then the next episode, Well, I'm pretty sore about that.

I think they filmed this. I mean, if I remember it correctly, they added this scene for the top of episode 2, I think. Forgive me if I'm wrong, where I think nick, Cerci, and Rayland are having a conversation or something like that, but I'm just being ferried out on a girney. That's where he says he made it.

There's a hole the size of my fist in your heart.

That's a big gun. He had a big gun.

But they got you to a really good hospital on that country road. Yes. But you know what's fun is, you've played so many great characters, but in the Righteous Gemstones, I feel like the minute I started watching that show, and then you showed up. I remember not knowing you were going to be in the show for some reason. And the minute you show up, I thought, you can't do the Righteous Gemstones without Walton Gaugans. You have to have him.

Did I tell you this story about the... David Gordon Green was directing that episode. And the very first time you meet Baby Billy, he's in a bathtub.

I know this. He's in a hot tub.

Yeah, a hot tub, bathtub outside, looking out at his land, looking out over his empire. And at some point in the scene, he stands up and he's Or he's fully naked.

And the viewer sees.

The viewer sees everything. And then he turns around, he puts on his bathrobe, and then steps out of the bathtub. Well, they call then a body double to do that. Who was 76, 78 years old, something like that, to be in the tub. And they flew him in from Chicago. I'm like, How did you... What's the audition process? You couldn't find him in South Carolina? Really? You had to go to Chicago? So he comes in and I meet him- You had to go to Chicago to find a dick?

Yeah.

This guy's top of his game, though. You have to understand. Top of his game.

The plastic guy. I met him on that day, and he was dressed like me He looked like me. I'm thinking like, Who are you? He said, I'm you. I'm your body dub. I'm standing in for you. It's like, okay. Cut to the show comes out. There it is. I get a phone call from this friend of mine who says, Oh, my God. Baby Billy Freeman, I can't stand it. I love it so much. Can I just say how good your body looks? I said, What the fuck are you talking about? He's 76.

He's 76 years old.

You think that's my fucking body? True story.

I did wonder because the penis is right there.

Penis is right there.

In high definition.Yeah, that's right.Beautifully lit.I.

Mean, it's a nice penis.

But it's definitely a Chicago penis.Yeah, you can tell. You know what? South Side. Deep dish. That's a South Side penis. Deep dish. Deep dish, South Side. That's a White Sox penis. That's not a Cubs penis.

It does not have a Southern accent. Yeah.

Oh, very Yankee.

What's going on here? What are we doing here down south? Penis, shut up. You're ruined. I just got out of a hot tab. Yeah. Got to get a sausage.

Cubs of the White Sox.

Yeah. Wow. That was... Yeah. I just love... Danny McBride, obviously, you guys work together so well. Yeah.

He is the funiest person I have ever met in my life. We did this photoshoot for GQ, four vice principals, and this one particular, it wasn't even a skit. We were just dressed up and they were taking these photos, and he was Ronald McDonald, and I was the hamburger. We were just hanging out, and they were doing this background video or whatever. I was just talking to them as the hamburger smoking a cigarette and talking about, Yeah, I almost went to jail for stealing stuff. When I was in high school, I got in with the wrong kids. As if this was the hamburger's experience, but it was my experience. I had that happen when I was a freshman in high school.

I love a real depiction of the hamburger. You got to be committed.

You got to be committed. Just at the end, out of nowhere, Danny just said, and so he came and he was like, Do you know what the worst thing is? I stole what? A child.

And he's dressed as- Ronald McDonald. He's dressed as Ronald McDonald.

It's like, drop the microphone. There it is. There you go.

We just lost our McDonald's sponsorship. It was a part he was playing, not- It was a part. All right. I want to make sure we talk about fallout because this, first of all, I had my own introduction to the game a long time ago. This is not... What I love is, I was talking to someone about this the other day who runs Warner Brothers, a smart guy, and he was telling me that when you do a show about a game, which is becoming more common, you've got to forget the game because it has to be a great story. Meaning, yes, you're using the characters and everything, but you can't rely on fandom from the game. We did a thing with Fallout when it first came out. Yeah, we did a Clueless gamer, and they made us skin tight vault suits. And we did a whole cold open where you are walking as the bombs are dropping, Konan is walking along the back lot and goes to his personal vault, which just happens to be in the Gilmore Girls Gazebo. Yeah, the Gilmore Girls Gazebo opens up and I go down inside. So anyway, that was my introduction to fall out.

So it's some familiarity with the game, not much, even though it's a massive success. But then I start watching the show and it's fantastic. Your character, which is, I don't want to give anything away, but it's very cool. You meet your character at the beginning and then you see your character sometime later and your character has been through this insane transformation. I think you can give anything away.

I think it's all out there.

You can talk about whatever you want. All right. You show up at the beginning, cowboy, working a kids' party, putting kids on the pony, and then the bombs start to drop and you take off. Then we cut to, which I believe is a long time later, a couple of hundred-Yeah, 219 years. 219 years. I thought it was 215, but let's check that, Eduardo. Anyway, it's my podcast.

It would have been a better story if it was 215.

215 really sells it. 219 now. Anyway, but your character has been ravaged. One of the things that... I mean, it's you, and it's a great performance, but that makeup does not look like something that can happen quick. You can't get a 20-minute powder to become the goule and start riding around in this hellscape.

I've seen that Instagram time-lapse of you getting into makeup.

Yeah. How long does it take?

Well, we did three tests, and the first test took five hours. Five hours. On that particular day, it just so happens that I was bit by a brown recluse spider five times that morning. It's a true story. It's bananas. I had to go to the emergency room and get a shot.

Did you keep taunting it after it bit you the first time? Yeah.

Is that all you got? Trican.

At all you got?. That's all you got.

Come on. Stay away from my penis. Stay away from my penis. Just the thigh. Just the thigh. Just Spider's like, That's not the penis.

It doesn't look like the penis I saw in Righteous Gemstones.

I don't recognize this penis. That wasn't your penis, it's Baby Billy Freeman.

That penis was in great shape. Yours was all fucked up from jerky and weird South American liqueurs.

This is much smaller than I remember. Hey, easy, man. Come on. Easy. Come on. Enough with the criticism.

To have to then go perform after you've... Even if you get the time down to four hours.

We did get it down to two hours. Right. But still. 2:15. It's a lot.

You're there before the sun goes up, obviously.

Yeah, we're there way before the sun goes up. Me and my buddy, Jake Garber, who's an old friend of mine who did the application and one of the best in the business. The whole thing, it was intense. I'm claustrophobic by nature. I've never done anything like this except for one time for this movie for a friend of mine that we shot down in South Africa. I was extremely overwhelmed by the thought of the process. Once it really dawned on me, exactly what this was going to be like every single day. But with anything else, it becomes a new normal. Then it was something that when I didn't have to wear it and I played Cooper Howard, which is the same guy 200 years earlier before the bombs dropped as the story progresses, I felt vulnerable without it. I felt like I didn't have my armor and people wanted to talk to me and they wanted my attention. Whereas when I was the gou, the gou everyone left me alone. I like that.

You can see why. No one messes with it. No one says to the gou, Hey, what time is it?

Cooper Howard, everybody's like, Hey, what's up? How are you, man? What's going on? I'm like, Just fucking don't talk to me, please.

I'm amazed by the makeup can inform. Obviously, you still have to do the acting. You still have to bring the performance, but the makeup will inform that.

It is. It's what's possible and what's impossible. The very first time we put it on, again, it took five hours, and I was in a drug state from getting bitten by a brown recluse. But I took it outside. I just asked for an hour and a half by myself and just sat in the sun and then sat in the shade and took a lot of video of it just to see what this Ferrari would do. What is possible? How can you take a corner here? And looked at the neck and like, Okay, what if I touch my head? Am I going Am I going to break this skin? Can I touch my face? It was after that hour and a half and photographing it that we applied it two more times. Then the very first day came where we were filming, and it happened to be 106 degrees heat in New York, where we were filming. I didn't anticipate that. I didn't anticipate the hot, how hot it would be underneath it. It was the first day that I had put the clothes on with the prosthetics, the boots on. Everything was happening. The guns, the gloves, the whole thing.

The last piece that really was the straw that broke the camel's back were these two innocuous retainers that I had to put in my mouth because some people think my teeth are too white. I I don't know. They don't fit in the wasteland. We had to put these in, and I thought, Oh, my God, I can't really see. My peripheral vision is gone. Now I got to have this speech impediment. I'm talking like this. For the first time, I just didn't anticipate that. I hadn't tried everything on at once. We got out there and we did it. The first couple of days, Konan, honestly, I would look at Jona after every take frustrated and deeply insecure about it and say, Are you What are you seeing here, man? Are you seeing anything that I'm doing?

Are you getting what you need? Yeah.

I don't know how to indicate. I don't know how to alter what's going on inside of my body and my mind. All of a sudden, I'm not just going to gesticulate to inform the audience about how I feel, or is this just going to look like... Am I going to look like it's just a blank page? Are you going to get anything from this? And he kept saying, Walton, we see it all. Everything is in your eyes. We see your- It's true.

You You are blessed with you've got those. I've got sneaky beady eyes. You've got those big peepers, and you can do so much with those. Also, I have to say, as a fan of Fala, and you've been watching it, too. I love it. Absolutely. I'm a huge fan of the game, and you are absolutely incredible in it. It's so fun to see you play that character. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm really rooting for the Ghoul. He's awesome. Thank you very much. I always root for the Ghoul. Yeah, well-In any situation. Also very nerdily. I love how Cooper's outfit then becomes the blue and gold in the beginning. That first scene is insane with the bombs dropping truly. At the party. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Iconic. Not many people have picked up on the fact that he never changes his costume.

He's entertaining at a children's party. Then all these years later, the script has flipped and he's in this completely other reality, and now he's the most feared man in this wasteland. Oh, it's great. But that's his origin story, and it's still part of him.

The biggest question is, why is he performing at a children's birthday party when he's a Western movie star? What happened in between that? And they bring that up. Geneva Dwart Robertson and Graham Wagner and Jona. These are amazing writers, and they put together a great group.

It's beautifully done. Talk about sometimes they spend money on something and you don't see it on the screen. This looks absolutely fantastic.

Have you ever interviewed Jonathan Nolan?

No, I've not.

Okay. I don't think he would get mad if I say this. Jona Nolan is not a funny man. He's not a funny guy. He is arguably one of the smartest people I have ever met in my life. I mean, he is men's a level... He's a genius, really. Just in a conversation about anything, about fucking water, he's so entertaining. But I know I've been a fan since Memento, like everybody else, and I know his body of work. He just turned on a dime, man, and photographed this world in a hyper-absurd, stylized way, the violence. It's like, I've never seen him do something like that. That's what I was blown away by most when I saw the first two episodes back in October or whatever.

Well, I'm a huge fan of not just... I mean, that's funny. Fallout is great, and that's what you were here to mention at the end. But I just look at all the work that you've done, and you always deliver every single time. Just a thrill to have you on to get to talk to you. And if nothing else, say, thanks for the dead squirrel that's rotting in.

Can I say something? The reason why I chose the word cozy, I knew that you had to pick a word when you came on here, because I knew that this was going to be a familial experience. Oh, good. Not that we're a family, but you have been so kind and generous to me over the years.

Oh, I was a fan from day one. The first time we met, and then just delighted. Delighted. And also delighted for you that... I mean, we didn't even mention what's bigger than the white Lotus, and that's upcoming. So you got to come back.

Oh, I'm definitely coming back. Do you remember the The last thing that we said, and I don't know if this was the last time we were together, but it was a significant time we were together. We were talking about how people always butcher your name, Walter Skriggens and Skloggins or whatever. And we had a great laugh about it. The next day, I was flying off to go back to work, and I stopped at the Starbucks right by LAX. Then the woman had my order. She brought my coffee out, and I looked at the cup, and I started laughing my ass off. I sent a photo because on the cup, it said Wilton Schneigens.

Wilton Schneigens.

Do you remember that?

Yes, I do. What a joy. All you want is your coffee. Hey, so please come back anytime. Just congratulations on your insane success. It's borderline absurd. It's all going your way, and I just jinked it. Hey, let's get together with you, me. Let's get Billy Bob because I've had dinner with him.

And Oliphant?

Yeah, we'll get Oliphant in there. But we want it to lean Southern, and then Oliphant and I can be the odd guys out. Perfect. Who are saying, We have to go. We're tired. We have to go home.

And we'll just serve biscuits and country fried steak and fried chicken.

We'll get out our fiddles and you'll put on your clogs. All right.

We'll see you soon.

Thank you so much, brother.

Thank you. Bye-bye, you all. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are attempting to do a segment in a way we never or rarely ever do, and that is without a net.

We don't know what we're going to talk about.

That's every single time. I do think that's always- We've never known what we were going to talk about.

No, but there's always a general idea for the segments. Oh. This time, we have no subject. We couldn't think of anything. Sona was talking about Circuit City just a second ago.

We are in real dire straits. I really thought she was hit in gold when she was talking about Circuit City. We're free balling it. Let me understand something. Circuit City no longer exists? No. No. Do you think it exists? You don't think it exists. I'm in a bubble.

You know what?

No. Hey, is Radio Shack gone?

No, Radio Shack is not gone.

What?

Yeah. Wait, I dreamt about Radio Shack the other day.

Do you think it's not gone because you dreamt about it?

I'm just realizing it was a dream.

I think it's gone. Is it? So many things from my childhood are just gone. Yeah. It's crazy. Then if you ever accidentally mention it, people think you're just this insane out-of-touch fool. But it was a real strong memory in my youth. Radio Shack? Radio Shack. I remember Radio Shack for a big deal. Which one hurt? Do you remember anything closing, we were like, Oh, man. I remember Howard Johnson's when I was a little, little kid, really young, was a big deal. My grandfather would take us. I mean, these are my earliest memories, would take us to a Howard Johnson's. A Hojo's. A Hojo's. Hojo's. Then I remember when I was working at SNL in the late '80s, one of the last Hojo's was in Times Square. I used to go there occasionally just because it was this connection to my youth. It was when Times Square was a very different Times Square. Now it's all been Disney-ified. Oh, yeah. When there were robots walking around saying, be happy. But back then, it was that other Times Square that you see in the 1970s '70s movies. Drugs and the sex workers. Yes. Sex workers. I was a sex worker in Times Square.

Oh, okay. All right. Or you were just standing there trying. That's how I got the SNL job.

You were the main reason they Disneyfied it.

They're like, We got to Disneyfy this fast. Get the mouse in here. He It's a bad gigolo. But I would go to the Times Square Hojo's and get the thing that we would get when we were little kids, which was a chocolate ice cream soda with chocolate ice cream and sit at the counter and chat up the waitress. You know what I'm saying? No, I don't get what you're... Just have a conversation with. Yeah, basically just say, How much is this? And I'll pay you.

Wait, was this a sex worker? I'm confused.

No, this was a waitress. I was the sex worker. Anyway, but then I think when that went away, when that Hojo's went away, when that, Howard Johnson's went away, it was so iconic, and you can see it in old movies. I think you can see it in Sweet Smell of Success, I think. When that went away, I remember that was a bit of a blow. It was like, That's over. That's over. It's time to embrace.

That big Arby's on, is it Hollywood Boulevard with the big hat? Yeah.

Just closed. Oh, they just closed that? Yeah.

But the pizza place is taking over and keeping the hat.

I think if I'm not mistaken, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood has a great sequence, I think in the third act where Tarantino shows all the neon signs coming on in LA that would have been around in 1969 when the Tate murders happened. One of them, I think, is that Arby sign. That's The Circuit City.

Okay.

Okay, that's- The Circuit City. Well, I just don't know what's... Do they still have a fro-yo?

What? Like the concept of frozen yogurt?

I thought fro-yo was a store. Are you just looking for something that arrives with hojos? Then so you're like, No. Hey, is there still a Mojo magazine? Hey, do they still have slowmo technology? Hey, is there still people that ride the rails? Hobos.

Is there still Bros before Hoes? Yeah.

What about that group, the Go-go? How about Han Solo? Is the Dodo still on? Yeah. Oh, God. What about that Caramel Treat, the Rollo? Remember the Rollo? I love Rollo. I do, too. Rollos were good, man.

They're still around.

They still around. Hey, what about Chunky? Remember the chocolate candy bar Chunky? It was a brick? I love that candy. I love that candy. I can't find that candy anymore. I don't know what that is. I'm telling you, life used to be better.

Well, I think one thing we can agree on is that we I should agree to talk about something before doing a segment.

Well, and guess what? I'm always in favor of that. You're the two hippies that are saying, No, man, you're preparing. I'm like, Yeah, preparing is what you do, whether if you're in comedy as you think about what you're going to do. Then you guys are always like, No, man, it's podcast.

Just say it. For a segment, we always have an idea. For the intro, we don't need an idea because whenever by the time you introduce Sona, something's already happened. Yeah, that's true.

I do like your Howard Johnson's. I can't believe you had a treat. You would never eat that treat now. Probably not, no. Right? That's a time in your life. That's special. Yeah. Now my life has changed since I met my wife, and she's very healthy. Now I would take some spinach and some pea protein and a little bit of banana, and I whip it up in the blender. That's the sound of your blender. Then I drink it, and my dog looks at me and looks sad for me. You know the way a dog, usually, if you're eating something, the dog's really interested in having it? Man, when I eat pea protein and lettuce shake, My dog just goes in the corner and starts making a noose. Dogs can lick their barf. Yeah. Yeah, their standards are so low. No, if I was making a dog barf in a blender, the dog would be really interested. But pea protein and wholefood spinach, all organic. I'll just put a little banana in there just to be naughty. Hey, dog, do you want some? I would rather die. You sure you can lick out the, I'm okay, my girl.

Roof. I'll go eat a rock instead. That's My dog. My dog. Feeling sorry for me. See, we always find it. You did. I got there.

Just him?

Yeah, just me. Okay. I feel like I did a bit of an assist. No, you've been listening to Conan O'Brien and Two Loadstones. Also, my favorite part when he tries to figure out whether this is a segment or not. No, it's a segment. You're looking at the list of intro. You looked down. I'm not confused at all. It's actually intro. It's a segment. Well, it's Conan and the Two Albatrosses. Hope you had fun. See you later. Stay in school. Be good to your waitress.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Cessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Leal. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Erin Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brenda Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/konan. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.