You did commit a crime.

You did commit a crime.

Are you serious?

Yeah. Hundred percent federal.

Are you joking?

No. You could go to jail.

What's the statute of limitations on that?

Ooh. What's up, guys? And welcome to episode 184 of Dropouts podcast. This week, we've got two women, two guys, equilateral loving each other.

What does that mean?

Um, what's the best combination? Nah, nevermind. What?

No, I want to hear where you're going with this.

Okay? What? Two of us could be in the same room, and it'd be the fastest kill for the other.

So, like, the two people are fighting each.

Oh, what would be the quickest kill?

We know the.

Well, no, you guys are both.

I feel like Alyssa has more fight in her.

She does. She's got some Italian.

She's got two types of Italian in her, so I feel like she could scrap somebody.

Okay, so you would think it's Tara and me, because I think I could rip your head off. Not in a want to kill you type of way, more in, like, a.

Friendship kind of way or a Guinness.

World record holder type of way. Like, if someone started a timer and I was in a room with you, I'd probably try to kill you immediately. Just because I want to go for the title.

I don't know why I keep coming back here.

You want to roll some intro music? You can say it into the mic, and then it just starts playing. I don't know how it.

What do I say?

You just be like, hey, hey, God, if you're there, could you roll some intro music?

It's me, Margaret.

I think it's just Alyssa. But, hey, Alyssa, you want to roll some intro music?

I guess God is a woman. We're all just living. Okay, so Jared texted me before the podcast, and he said that someone has been throwing that snatch around like it's candy. What's up?

I used different terminology. No, I didn't. I'm kidding. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

He said, you've been getting that jellyfish active, bro. Exactly what I said. Disgusting.

Jared knows nothing about my love life.

Then where'd you hear it from?

I was trying to get some juicy information out of her before the podcast started.

Oh, did you get any?

No, she wouldn't tell me.

I thought we were talking in confidence.

Well, I'm not. You didn't tell me anything.

Jared said, don't worry. I won't tell anyone. It's just girl talk. He immediately texts you. This was no more than 10 minutes ago.

I know he's a bad guy.

Okay, hold on. Let's clear some things up. I didn't text him shit.

Okay, yeah, he texted me words.

And second of all, you didn't tell me anything, so there's nothing to tell.

Okay, can we all stop fighting and understand? Hey, guys, if you aren't on our Patreon yet, we just did a drunk episode with Tt Yum yum over here. We also are giving away big old gifts, but you might be like, Zach, it's so expensive. Well, one, it's not. And two, you get a ton of bonus content. And three, how about we're doing a seven day free trial, but only if you sign up right now or I'll wait an hour. Yeah, we're not digging away till the end of the podcast, but sign up for the Patreon if you want to win any prizes. You technically win them for free, baby. Because the free trial. And then you can see all our drunk episodes. You get 20, 30 minutes extra footage. What else do you get? Dude, who cares, right? Get on there. If you're not. It's a cult. It's a fun cult. Alyssa, we're not allowed to bring up anything. We're not? No.

Why would you happen?

I'm just saying, we're not allowed to bring up anything that was delivered to the house, right?

No.

Okay. I was just checking in, and you knew I was checking in before I said anything.

I know you're going to say it.

No, I'm not. Brother. Look at. Brother.

You're going to bring it up in 10 minutes.

Do you want me to?

No.

Okay. Scouts on her. You let me know if you want me to. God, that'll be so fun.

Alyssa got Botox.

I know you want me to, because it's.

Wait, she did got Botox?

Yeah, she got Botox.

Did you?

I've been holding that in for a while.

Wait, when did you get Botox? I'm lifting as hard as I today. You got it.

No, when she was home.

What? I've been wondering why you've been expressing less.

As far as I can go. It's so high up. I can feel it. But can you see?

Wait, you weren't old looking. That's what I said.

I was so confused when she. So she walks in after coming home from Christmas, because, remember, you guys were.

Making love, and you're like, dude, she usually has, like, a great o face. She didn't this time because it was, like, very stale. Sorry. We'll get back to you in a second. I love that you had what?

I went for something else and she give it to me.

What?

I might as well, since I'm here, get something because I waited two months for the appointment.

Can we ask what were you trying to get?

I am very self conscious about my jaw, so I was trying to get something to make it more prominent.

Is it like a filler?

Yeah. And also for my lips. But she says I have the hardest.

She's going to come back as a different person. You don't work here.

I have the hardest lips to inject because they're m lips. So they're like difficult.

I don't know for.

Yeah, and so she wouldn't do them at the moment. And I was kind of bummed. So I got 20 units.

It's like baby botox. It's like preventative. Yeah, good for you.

So I got it here and here. And then she said, let's just do it here. So I said, okay.

Oh, my gosh. Can you tell a difference?

Well, she can't move her eyebrows.

This is as far as I can move them.

Is that good? That's what you wanted. I love raising my eyebrow. Like, if I see something suspicious. You ever see something suspicious? We're never going to know if you see something suspicious.

I mean, I really do enjoy a good eyebrow raise, but they are little.

She can see a murder and just be like, yeah, guys, I was like, I think you did it. You might have killed them.

I don't know.

Okay, second question. Wait, why do you have night? Well, I don't know if I could say this as a boss figure. Like, good lips. I never looked at your lips and.

Been like, I think they're too small. Not like small, but I just want them. I don't think they're small. I want them a little more like.

Maybe it's part of your heritage. You have to think about that.

No, I don't know.

The m smile for your family. I don't know how that correlates.

Doesn't.

Can you start loving yourself also? When can you start expressing? Getting sick of it.

It lasts for the rest of your life.

No, you have to go back and forth, like every five months.

Five months. You're not going to be able to express for five months.

And I'm going to try to shock you.

It won't work. I'm telling you. It's as far as I can. Because I can't.

Like, jared and I tongue wrestled.

It's great.

It is? Yeah. You're a psychopath now. You're kind of like me. We're similar. Aw, dude.

She walked in from coming home from Christmas, and we're talking or whatever, and then she goes, she trying so hard to move her eyebrows. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, you notice something? No. And she's like, that's kind of the point.

Good.

I was like, did you get Botox?

She's like, yeah, I have a video of when I. Right after I got it, and it's like, crazy, like, lines. Lines. Because wrinkles. And then now it's like, there's nothing.

I don't think you had wrinkles before.

There were wrinkles, but it wasn't like.

Yeah, I can stop talking about. We have a group chat called Alyssa's wrinkles. Tar's actually in it. She started it, and she's like, crazy. Wrinkles, huh? And then I left the group chat immediately. But there was one for a second, and you're disgusting for that. Women should support women.

Now it's just me and Jared. And when you got it, Jared was like, she finally got the Botox.

Finally.

Oh, my gosh, dude. I can finally look at her.

Now I can leave the group chat.

Okay. Wow. Wait. Two things. One, why do you think she entrusted Jared with information and not me? Why wasn't I allowed to know?

Oh, well, I'll answer that one, actually, for you, because over to you, Tara.

Why do you think I think Alyssa can answer that?

Because she's the one. She's not even here.

She's the one. Exactly. She didn't tell you?

Well, Jared was downstairs when he came downstairs, and when then you came downstairs, you acted like I was invisible.

That was a bit, though.

It was a bit that gone on for maybe two weeks.

Okay. Have you seen those?

What?

Have you seen those videos where you put a blanket over a kid, and then the whole family pretends they're invisible?

You did that with Alyssa for two weeks.

She's the size of a child. I thought it would work, but at first, she's like, Zach, I know you can see me. And then I was like, I got to keep the bit going. So now I did pretend she was a ghost for two weeks.

Dude, you have actual issues.

I ghosted her in a different way. Oh, also, can I tell you something? Okay. Say you were working for. We'll say us, and you were an assistant. Great at your job, good at other stuff. And for whatever reason, I saw you as a very maternal figure, and I prefer to reference you as mother, mommy, or mom. How would you feel about that?

I think that's something Alyssa's going to answer again because I'm asking.

How would you feel about is. This might not even happen.

I'm not even here.

She phone in. That's wild.

Uncomfortable.

Oh, you wouldn't feel, like, valued because.

It'S kind of a respect thing.

Yeah, it's like, thanks, mommy. No, sorry.

That one's a little weird.

Like, thank you, mother. Like when she does something. Thanks, mother.

Mother is fine.

Mother. Okay. You good with mother?

No.

What? Any of them explain yourself?

Because, yes, you are my bosses, so it's like. It's a.

Don't say sis. Just one of us.

It's just like when someone calls you mom, it's like. I don't know, as a female, kind of. I don't know how to explain myself.

No, please.

For a male female, can you try.

To express it with your eyebrows, though?

I really don't know how to explain it because if I explain it a certain way, it's going to seem like.

Explain. Okay, explain. Okay. You have the ability to backtrack. Anything that you say will not be held against you in a court of law. So say it.

Don't trust them.

No, but then we'll assess if that came out a little suspect.

Let's say we'll reevaluate. Take out the you're my boss situation. Say it was another guy calling me mom or like, mother or whatever. It would just make me feel very milk forward. No, it would make me feel very unattractive. Like, unsexy.

Because you're not supposed to feel that way towards your mom. You're not supposed to feel like yourself.

You see, my mom, she's got a dump truck on her.

I just met her on Facetime, so I wouldn't know that, but she seems very.

She showed you. She said, want to see that? Thang, thang. And then you were like, yeah. Remember, memory loss runs deep in your family, so it's no biggie.

Wait, but the whole thing is that the person sees you as a maternal figure, so they're not trying to see you as a sexy person. You know what I mean?

It's more feel sexy by everybody.

I do.

Oh, yeah. Come on.

What?

Guys pay to sleep with you and stuff. What? What are you talking about? No, I've seen you, like, you work a similar corner to where I get burritos. It's not a biggie.

You're so annoying today.

I'm not being annoyed. Observant.

I don't know.

I understand.

Yeah.

Okay. Can I say this? Maybe this is what you're worried about. We don't want your milk.

That's what we were worried about.

And I think that's the problem.

Oh, she wants us to want her milk. Okay, we want your milk.

Did you ever call your teacher's mom?

For whatever reason? Not many things are more embarrassing. Have you done it? Yeah, but we're tired because you still feel your teacher. Did you?

No.

Oh, my gosh. I thought I got some. Wait, no. Scouts honor.

Scouts honor. I did not sleep with my t shirt.

You've never slept with anyone that's taught you anything? There it. Clip it. No, no, don't clip it. Trust me. No. Yeah, I've been there. And yeah, mom. And then everybody in the class is like, oh, dude, that's your mom, creep. We're like, immediately.

Well, good thing for Jared. You never said dad.

I never said dad?

Oh, he said it's d y at the end, too. What's up? That's. Dude. Okay, never mind. What? I've just talked about it too much. Us, daddy stuff consuming each other physically.

Yeah, we have talked about it too much. I think we should back off on it for a while.

Yeah, I'll back it anywhere for you. Okay. Yeah, park it in me. Whatever. Leave it there. Would you soak with me?

Would I soak with you?

Can I jump on the bed?

That's what I was going to ask.

Yeah, I'd be that person.

You guys can be the monkeys on the bed. Oh, come on. It's like we're not even doing it.

I know the answer to this question already, but who's soaking in who?

Brother. Brother? You sitting on my lap like I'm Santa. Baby, I don't want. You already got what you wanted for Christmas. What?

I don't want to sit on your lap.

You want to be in me.

That would be the preferable spot in this scenario. Yeah.

Do you see me as someone who will receive Jared's third leg?

I'm so sorry, Jared.

What the fuck?

I know.

Come on.

It is what it is. It is what it is, baby, and you'll love it.

I don't think I will.

Come on, man. You got to prep, though. I talked to Chris Olsen, dude, when.

We went to go see poor things last night, we saw the trailer for mean girls. All of a sudden, Chris Olsen's face pops up.

He's in mean girls. Yeah. He thinks he's better than us now.

What the hell?

They call him out. You're fake gay.

I was actually on the same pride parade.

Yeah, he's faking it for clout as him.

No, he's not.

He is calling him out, and the only way to refute it is to come back on the podcast. We had a good time with you. I liked you a lot, budy.

We did have a good time.

God, we've had so many gays on this podcast. We're so inclusive. Manny. Mua.

My parents.

I love Manny.

Your parents? That's two.

You had your parents. I have to watch that episode.

Two birds with a singular stone. We got them. Ashley. Gavin. Oh, yeah, that was funny.

I'm going to cut that out.

Wait, are you serious?

Yeah. Okay, but beep who we say, and then we can talk around it. Did you tell them what I did to you? Wait, what are you talking. You're piercing.

Oh, my God, you guys. I was facetiming Zach the other day, and he was like, I don't know what happened, but he's like, yeah, I see you all the time. And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, I put a camera in your piercing. And now every time I look in the mirror, I'm like, oh, God, can Zach see? Like, I know you didn't, but it kind of messed.

Yeah, it's a little weird. I don't know. Because obviously, now that you know that I have that there, you've been undressing a lot and being, like, in the mirror, and then you kind of yell because I don't know if you think the microphone is bad. It's quality microphone. And you go, you like what you see, baby?

A very unconfident yell.

You're very unconfident. She's like, you like what? You like what I got cooking? Yeah. You like how they're sitting today? What the hell was that? I'm objectifying, aren't I?

It's okay.

I've got to get. Thank you.

No, I know you don't have a camera in my eyebrow piercing, but every time I look at it, I think, oh, my God, what if.

What if he's my God, too? You can just claim him as only your God anyways.

But how would he have put a camera in your piercing?

I don't know. Maybe one day when I was sleeping, he snuck into my house and he unscrewed my eyebrow piercing and put in a little camera.

Oh, that's a good.

I chloroformed you.

You chloroformed me.

That's what Alyssa.

Hot.

No. Jared goes, hmm. That's actually. That could happen.

It could happen.

Are you a heavy sleeper?

No, I'm not.

You know what? You're right, Jared. I could do anything to you in your sleep. Oh, yeah, and have.

Dude, do you want to talk about.

What'S in the box or. No, you. Good. I knew you can bring, but I'm just asking. Was it 10 minutes later? 10 minutes?

Like on the dot?

Listen, I can remember a bit.

Will you tell me after?

Say it.

Bleep it. Wait.

Oh, wait. Can I guess? And we could bleep it?

Yeah.

Is that okay?

It's graphic t shirts. Thank you.

Yeah, it's graphic, all right. She bought a suction cup. What did you put to the floor? She rides the house. I felt like it was an earthquake. Dude, don't take that negatively.

Okay, so I was right.

Yeah. Do you have any.

Can we change the subject?

You're the one that wanted to know.

Okay, we're going to bleep it.

I had something in my notes. Are you a dog or a cat person?

Dog.

That's a rarity that I find. Okay. When I have perused the dating apps in the past, I've noticed that most of the women on there are obsessed with cats.

Yeah, why is that?

That's what I was going to ask you.

I think I'm a little allergic to cats.

There's also a big personality difference.

Yeah. I'm not a big cat person. And I'm not, like someone who's like, I hate cats, because I'm like, I love all.

No, you hate. What was the race?

It's not cats, it's Zach. I don't know why I keep coming back. Anyways, I like all animals, but I think I like cats less than dogs.

Yeah.

What about you?

No, I'm the same way. I'm also a little bit allergic to them. Right. So I've never been too fond of them, but I've just noticed, I'm like, why do women love cats so much? And why are men more dog people? Because then it's weird. Okay, not weird.

Sorry.

To any of the guys out there who are cat people, but to me, it's surprising when to you it's weird.

To me, it's weird when a guy.

Is, like, obsessed with cats.

Yeah. You know, it's so funny. I'm, like, imagining I know people. Like, I know men in my life that are obsessed with cats, and I'm just imagining them. And I get what you mean.

Yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

To each their own. Except for if you like cats.

How's your hinge been sitting recently?

Not good.

Really?

Honestly, I haven't really used it that much.

Are we allowed to talk about your past girlfriend? What happened? Are we allowed to talk? Like, would she get mad? I feel like she wouldn't get mad. Okay.

I don't know.

I just hate if you're listening and watching this. This is not in malice. We thought this was funny. I think that's a good. We also think that you're great. And sorry it didn't work out. There's just two different people, and you guys are great people, and you're going to find your forever's disclaimer is so. And sure it's not with Jared, sure that he didn't fulfill you emotionally, but, boy, did he physically. And I hope you guys are always going to be friends, and I can see it. And I hope you guys are at each other's wedings and give speeches.

And with that said, great disclaimer.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

So, as a goof, without Jared knowing, I posted on TikTok a video of him considerably inebriated with alcohol. And as the caption, I said, like, happy birthday or something.

He said, everybody, go wish Jared a happy birthday.

Did it on Instagram, too.

I did it. Yeah, I did it on Instagram because I thought. And I just wanted to see. Because your birthday is in June. I wanted to see how many people would forget. And I also wanted it to be when June rolled around, for people to be like, no, dude, your birthday was in December.

Why are you lying right now?

Whatever reason, ruining your birthday, as your mother's did, ruined your birthday because they chose our anniversary to be on his birthday. Wild. I know his birthday.

They got married on my birthday, on my 14th birthday.

So I thought that would be a hilarious goof, which is fucking diabolical, if.

I have to say so.

Why?

Because birthdays, everybody gets. You got one special day a year.

You gained 254 Instagram followers that day. Okay, yeah, I did. Okay.

But everybody has one special day a year where they are celebrated personally. And you were trying to take that away from me.

Or I was trying to add one. Alyssa, what's your take on this?

I thought it was funny.

There we go. And when women think things are funny, they're okay.

I almost questioned it for a second, too. And I know your birthday.

That's crazy.

Now, back to thing. How many people intended your birthday? Maybe five. And we say there were six, right? Sure. Okay. And wonderful, beautiful beauty. Each other's wedings, whatever it is. Was there one of the few people at your birthday, and then she wished you a happy birthday? She did, I find phenomenally hilarious.

She texted me. She said, happy birthday. I hope you had the best day ever, which is a very sweet message. And on my actual birthday, I would have really appreciated that, but it made me laugh because I was like. You were at my birthday?

There was only, like, five people there.

Yeah, there weren't that many people, but it was a special group of people.

Yeah. It's a small group with a lot of heart. Yeah. Alyssa, raise your eyebrows if there was a lot of people there. Yeah. So there wasn't a lot of people there. But, man, did we have a good time. And then Jared might be included in the five, but, boy, did we have a good.

No, it was. It was really special, and it was nice. It was like a little pool day, and we had bubbles.

Why wasn't I invited?

I didn't know you. What? We didn't know you.

I think I just registered what you said.

Something crazy about that.

His birthday.

No, what you just said.

What did he say? I missed no sluts allowed.

Whoa. Okay. Didn't come out of my mouth twice.

That's understandable then. It's fine.

I saw a ten year old boy, like, young. Like, really young.

Wait a moment.

Okay. And he had I heart sluts on his shirt.

Do you know why? I think that's Danny Duncan merch. Not that that makes it any better. No, he has a bunch of merch at Spencer's, and it's actually fun stuff. Like, it's like, I heart Milfs or, like, know stuff like that.

And I was like, that's where the.

Box is from with my t shirt.

That's where she got her t shirt from.

I heart moms. Mom's. What is it?

Yeah, a bunch of things. And I'm like, these are actually kind of cool. And then I was like, wait, it's Danny Duncan merch?

Yeah. His friend had I heart boobs.

Well, I was wearing I heart boobies bracelets when I was, like, ten in fifth grade, when it was, like, really cool.

So it's like, who is raising you guys? You delinquent.

That is true. My mom would never let me leave the house or something like that.

No, it was for breast cancer awareness.

Yeah, I would say that too, brother.

No, it was, though.

Damn, now I feel like an asshole.

Oh, you hate.

We don't remember the iHeart boobies bracelets craze? No, we got them, like, banned in fifth grade. And then, I don't know, I was like, they're for cancer. That was our whole thing. They were for breast cancer and, like, pink and everything. They came in multiple colors.

Oh, I remember the Lance Armstrong bracelet. Live strong, livestrong fucking.

You know what?

That whole thing just came crashing down.

Do you guys remember Daniel?

I don't care that he did steroids. The kid was an athlete. I think everybody's doing Royce then, and he had to take them to keep up. Oh, and actually, Daniel Tosh is the.

Only one that got caught.

Daniel Tosh has a bit about, like, why don't we let the athletes take all the. It's to entertain us.

They're there to perform at the peak of human levels.

That's all I. And more, extend it. I want them to have horse tranquilizers up the wazoo, just like, built animals just running at each other at full speed, killing each other. Maybe if they consent and sign contracts. What were you going to say?

I forgot. What was I saying?

Something really good.

Remember dare?

Oh, do you guys remember dare? They came near school and they were like. And they were like, swear you won't do drugs. And I was like, I swear I won't do drugs. And, like, a year later in high.

School, while you were on drugs, you swore.

No, but you know what I mean.

Yeah, it was a wild initiative to think that that would actually work.

Yeah, we had an initiative. Not to say the r word. Really?

You had to have an initiative for that? Our school, it was that much of an epidemic?

Yeah, it was a pandemic. Sickness can strike anywhere, even your body. And you telling me that you're going to go to a random doctor to try to fix you up. Would you rather go to, okay, let's say you have a car. Would you rather go to a random mechanic and not sure if he's going to screw you over or really know what's wrong with your car? Or what if you went on Yelp and there was a car place that had a ton of five star reviews and everybody's like, oh, this guy's amazing. Think of Zocdoc as the best place to find a doctor because it's peer reviewed. You can see if the doctor is actually good. Know what they're talking about. People rate them. You can also scroll through and click little tab where you only see doctors who accept your insurance. I don't know how many times I've actually gone to the doctor and been like, hey, I'm here. I'm sick. And they're like, do you have any insurance? And I slide in my card and like, we don't accept that. And I'm like, I just wasted. Could have been hours palling around this town trying to find a doctor to take me.

And then you try to get them on the phone, they don't answer anyway. If you're sick, Zocdoc is the best way in the absolute world. And I'm not lying to get some care for your hurting little body. Okay?

So just to reiterate, Zocdoc is the free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.

If I use it, you better be using it. Go to zocdoc.com slash dropouts. Get the app and make yourself feel better with doctors that actually care, baby. It's that simple.

Again. That is zocdoc.com slash dropouts to download the Zocdoc app for free.

For free.

For free.

Thank you. Thank you, Zocdoc. That's right. You're losing out on your money, Zach. I need money. The New Year's starting. I need to pay for stuff. How about you already have the money? You're just wasting it. We live in a subscription world where we don't even understand the amount of subscriptions we're paying for. And sometimes it's services we don't even use. Well, guess what? With rocket money, it calculates, itemizes all the subscriptions you have and it tells you maybe ones you should get rid of. Isn't that wonderful? Get this. On average, on average, the person that uses rocket money saves $720 a year. You're literally losing money by not using it. Doesn't make any sense. What other service have we even advertised where it's like if you use it, you make money back? We're giving you free money. All you got to do is use rocket money. It's that simple. I'm getting a little fed up. They're not using Rocket money. I'm about to walk off the set. Jared, you better start talking.

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Oh, yeah, I got to tell something that happened at Christmas. We can get into christmases if we want to but I was sitting. It was just my mom, my grandpa and I at Christmas dinner. My mom had been working all day on this wonderful meal, and it was beautiful. We're all excited to eat. And she sits down, she's like, everybody grab hands. The three of us, our family. Big, big family. And she's praying. She's putting a little wind into it, like it's going a little long. The prayer, land the plane. But then she gets to topics that prayer is probably needed for. She starts talking about certain wars are happening. And my grandpa just goes, he's just like, so hungry. He goes, all right, amen. And he drops both of our hands and then just starts digging in. And it was the funniest thing I'd heard in quite some time.

That is such a grandpa Larry move.

He was done. He was ready.

Your grandpa's name is.

Yeah.

That's amazing. Like, grandpa Larry.

Grandpa Larry. That's a good one.

I just call him grandpa. Oh. My mom also found out recently. I thought she knew, but when I was younger, I was five and my little cousin was four, my grandpa would take us to the movies. We didn't have cell phones or anything. Drop us off and then leave. And then just assume he'd come back in like two or 3 hours. I always thought was really funny because.

Looking back, was this in Vegas or.

This was in Las Vegas. A predator's paradise. Yeah.

Seriously.

But they never looked our way, which.

I'm a little offended by.

Offended by. Because I was a cute. Well, actually it wasn't. I was decently. I don't know. I'll have to ask a penny.

You recently showed me, like, I don't know, like a 15 year old picture of you.

And I'm like, Zach, if you were 15.

No. And you looked the same.

What picture was it? It was a picture of you and.

Your brothers in it.

Yeah.

It have looked significantly similar to how you look now for a very long time.

It just looks like they like.

And I don't even moisturize.

You look exactly the same. Just like with a shorter haircut. It's really weird.

Do you love it?

What's your skincare routine?

I put it on my face when I'm done. I do.

Sorry.

Cat's out of the bag. Cat's out of the bag. Don't sneeze.

Oh, to cats.

Yeah.

Scratchy throat thing. Than it is a sneeze cat.

Scratch fever. So how are you? What's been going on? Dating anybody?

Are you asking me?

Yeah, I'm just asking.

Dude, you're asking me as if we don't talk every day.

You act like I'm not on a podcast.

Sorry. I forget. I forget. Jared doesn't know any of my business, and then it's going to air it out to you.

10 minutes. You didn't. That's a good guy. That's a good guy. You dating anybody?

No.

Seeing anybody?

No.

Getting?

No.

Anybody seen you?

No.

Naked? No.

Dude, just every single word?

No.

It's okay. Let's cut to a clip of her getting slammed. Can you pretend that this is your podcast for a second? Right now I feel like I have to address questions towards you, but you've been on here for so long. How about you do your part?

Yeah, sure. Jared, I really want to see, like, a childhood picture of you because I can't imagine.

Oh, show them that. Show where you look like a lesbian.

Come on, man. Why do I have to go with that one? Why can't it be that one? I was hearing a cute kid.

Dude, you're in the family business. There's no biggie.

You're in the family business?

Yeah. You're like an italian plumber.

All right, let me see if I can.

Here's may at eleven.

Let me see.

Looking like a little.

Oh, I would drown you. Oh, that's gross.

Nothing's changed.

Well, you got rid of the bangs.

Well, yeah, they were really cool then. But look how cool I look.

I would put you down like the family dog.

What is your problem?

Are you in a hispanic mexican restaurant?

No, I'm at a chili's, actually.

With those booth colors?

Yeah, that was before. You could tell by the cups. It was like chili's cups. Were they just, like, beer cups for everyone? It's kind of weird.

Should we go to Chili's? Yeah. Hey, put some expression into it.

I want to see Jared.

I'm trying to find that specific picture that he's talking about because. Okay, so what he's talking about. There's a picture of me. It was actually my senior photo in my yearbook.

Wait, what? I was thinking, like, younger, like, 1213. When he says, the one you look like a lesbian in, it's your senior photo. Like your portrait.

Yeah, it's bad.

Wait, what was your senior quote? Did you have one?

Oh, my God. I don't want to talk about.

No, please.

So fucking embarrassing.

What was it? Did you hear that?

Oh, your mic cut out.

That scared the shit out of me.

I thought there was a ghost in here.

That's logical.

My senior quote.

Okay, got him.

So there's. There's some. There's some backstory behind this.

Yeah.

All right. I went through a very traumatic period my summer going into senior.

You're a guy. What, you can't get him.

You know that my friend passed away, all right? And at the same time, or around the same time, the Charlie puth and Wiz Khalifa song see you again came out. And so I used a line from that song as my senior quote.

What was it?

Well, that's sweet.

We've come a long way from where we began. I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.

That's sweet. Zach's trying.

It's a little corny. It's a little corny?

No, I just know something about the situation.

Alyssa, did you have a senior quote?

I did, but I don't not remember it.

What?

How do you not remember your senior quote?

Almost like eight years ago.

Yeah, closer to ten, essentially. Mine was sorry was the best way.

Guys, this is a formative memory in your lives. How do you not remember it?

It was something around. I think the best way for you to get lucky or is to create it or something.

What?

And then I said it was by Abraham Lincoln, who just. It wasn't by. And it was just a little joke for myself. I think it was kind of dumb.

Wait, did you say what your senior quote was?

No.

What is it?

It was the weather sign down here. Thanks.

Oh, as in referencing.

Oh, no, dude, we both went very separate things.

What were you saying?

I said, referencing that you're going to be in hell.

Oh, no, dude, it was my height.

That makes sense.

How's the weather down there? It was that, but my alternate. Because sometimes they would say no, because they've had, like, a sexual connotation, and I was scared that they would think what you said. So my other option was a Jackie Burkhart coat from that seventy s show where it was like, if I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would.

That's cute, right?

Yeah.

You need to fix that. Have you ever been humble before?

By you? Yeah. Oh, every day. You're welcome.

Me, then I help you. I'm helping you get into heaven because you're on a first class train bullet to hell until you met me. And you're welcome. I'm kind of like a godsend. Angel, do you think that.

Did you win any superlatives?

Yeah, dude, of course.

What did you win?

Like, best dude ever.

What did you win?

Best dude ever.

Wittiest.

Wittiest. That was one wittiest brother.

I didn't come up with them.

What about you, Jared?

I was in your book.

But no, I lost out on two.

You ran for them and. Yeah, which one?

You could run for yours. Well, it was like, campaign. I've got the best smile.

No, it was just like, people voted on it. You didn't really campaign. It was just like.

But Jared did, and he lost in.

Your english class or something. The teacher would just hand out, like a slip, and you just vote on them and then turn it in. They were most artistic and most musical.

Those are the ones you wanted. Okay, wait, no. Why didn't you go for, like, best smile?

I don't know.

You have a great smile.

Well, I wasn't very confident in high school.

What was your best attribute in high school?

I was kind.

Then why didn't you go for kindest?

Yeah, I don't know. Well, I didn't come up with them. All of a sudden, I just saw the ballot and I was on it, and I lost out on both of them.

All I got to say is, this doesn't pertain to anything. I might have sealed a deal for you to get a little kiss on New Year's. I'm just saying, dog, don't play with me. So this is what I heard. Okay, so we're going to a New Year's Eve party. Alyssa's coming. She's very freaked out about what to wear, but it's fine.

Dude, I have no idea what to wear on New Year's either. I haven't even talked to you about it.

You haven't? In the house in three days. You've been looking for something to wear, and, Jared, there's a woman there that Jared hopes to smooch. Lick. What? Maybe if it goes that way. And apparently they hit it off a little bit the last time you hit her.

Calm down.

Yeah, dude, she was being yappy.

Where's my spanking then?

Okay, whoa.

Sorry.

Did it just get horny in here? Okay, so essentially, he is going to maybe kiss. Okay, but this is all I heard, dude, is you have to play it cool.

Yeah, and what does that mean, though? Like, if he doesn't play it cool, he's not going to get a kiss on yours? No, because if the girl's interested, then she would just kiss him on yours.

No, there was a situation. Okay? This girl, I've been told this catches the ick phenomenally easily. How? Fuck. Like, dude, you're screwed.

I'm screwed?

Okay, wait, hold on. What the fuck?

I can say that I'm screwed.

No, I think anyone would be screwed. Because I was just telling you about an ick I had. Do you remember a second ago?

Okay, but that's different.

That was a legitimate ick. He was just straight up being racist.

My ick is when they're, like, in a clan. All right.

No, like, the guy was being racist to me. Oh, it wasn't you?

Oh, good. We're good. Because, dude, I do. Sexy racism.

What?

You know what I mean.

Okay. Back to his nearest.

Whatever. I'm the best racist. Stop. I'm sorry. I had to go direct to camera that. Come on. Yeah, you got to play cool. Okay. No. Okay, so this was the situation. We were at a party. This was for White Fox. And we were there. And then Jared hadn't talked to a woman that he was interested in. And she happened to be there that night. And we just ran into her. And then they said, like, two words to each other. And then he kind of just, like, stood next to her for 30 minutes and didn't say a word. Kind of wide eyed.

Well, it was loud in there, and.

I'm not bringing this up because I'm saying anything. The girl who's her friend told me to tell you not to do that. Please. Yeah, okay.

I can do that.

So you're going to be smooth. We're going to do it. Welcome to Roleplay Nation.

Oh, no.

Am I the girl I was going to be? But now you can. Okay. Be cute and try.

I am trying.

Well, and then, Jared, here we go.

Okay. Go.

Fuck.

Okay, we gotta. So, we just walked into the party.

Oh, my God. Hi, Jared.

Hey. That's. What. Whoa. Hey, brother. This isn't even her. Let's keep trying.

Hi, Jared.

Hey.

Dude, come on.

How are you?

No, be cool. What's up?

How are you?

Good. How was your Christmas?

It was good.

Oh, my God. He fucked.

No.

Okay, hold on. This isn't a bit we need you to try here. This is. Dude. Okay. Something about practice.

I'm more of like an in the moment kind of.

I feel like because you said it, now it's in my head, and if you would have never said it, he would have been fine.

I was trying to look out for.

This is life you're messing with.

Okay. No, we're back. That didn't happen. The one thing about we know about failure is we learned something. Right, Alyssa? We learned. Okay. We're back in. I walk in with her. But we're just friends. I just kind of want to be at the party. Oh. I'm going to go grab a drink.

Hey.

Happy new year.

Happy new year.

Okay, hold on. Here we go.

We're back outside. We're back.

Walk in.

Walk in the door. Hey.

How are you?

Good, how are you? How have you been?

Fantastic.

Maybe compliment what she's wearing.

Tips. Tips are great.

Yeah.

Okay. Now we can reassess. Go in with a tip.

I've talked about this before. When someone compliments something that isn't something you're not born with, like, oh, I like the way you did your hair today. Or, oh, I like your outfit because it's something that they chose. Like, oh, I like your nails. Just something that you notice. I like the way you did your makeup.

Great. I like the way your botox makes your eyes. You know what I mean?

Like something they chose that day. If you compliment, but it has to be genuine. You can't just lie. If you see someone that.

This isn't the first time you're talking with her. You have had great conversations prior.

Yeah, you're fine. Bring up.

Yeah, I'm fine.

You've talked to her multiple times when we've all hung out.

Yeah. All right. Back in the pocket. You're good. Okay. Door open.

We haven't made it past.

Hey, we know. Hey.

How are you?

Good. How are you? So good to see you.

It's great to see you as well. I love that dress.

I love that dress.

I love that dress. Any other dress is dumb.

Fucked.

Yeah, it looks.

Thank you.

You're so welcome.

Oh, my God.

Pale me out.

I feel like we should change the subject.

Yeah, let's move on. We'll do some off camera stuff. You're nervous on camp.

Yeah, I'm nervous on camp.

That's it.

When there's no cameras tomorrow night, right. When it hits twelve, I'm going to text you, Zach, and I'm going to need the four one one on this. I want details.

He's going to be alone in the corner.

We don't know that yet.

I can see the future.

It's not looking good.

It's not looking great. Maybe. Is it because at Tara, she's kind of, like, aggressive?

She's a little.

I'm not being aggressive at all.

I'm actually like, okay, come to me. Okay. I got you. Jared. Hey. Hey.

How are.

Good, good, good. Sorry. Been drinking a little bit, but I feel good. I'm so glad you came.

No.

Fuck, no. What did we talk about? Even in adderies, when you stutter, you keep going.

Okay.

Yeah, Jared, you came. Okay. I'm not going to lie. I have been drinking a little bit, but we're having a good night. Can I get you.

I.

It's not me.

I forgot how to talk. I forgot how to talk.

All right, we'll move on.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Clearly, I wasn't the problem.

Do you want to be the girl?

Would it help if we switched?

Okay, let me see how you guys would do this.

Okay.

No, because, come on, this is going to get.

He can be the girl.

Oh, I would love you.

Want me to be you?

Yeah, be me. What would you do in this situation if you were me?

I guess that's kind of hard because I've never been a guy before. Zach, what are you doing? Zach?

Being a hot girl. Dude, this is.

Is that.

This is my life on the line.

Yeah. I need you to take it seriously. I'm being a smokeshow. What do you want me to do? Do you want to be the girl?

That would be exactly.

So let me be my woman. Oh, better. I thought you were going to be like, no, I want to be the girl. Okay, ready, Jared? I'm you. You're a hot, sexy girl. At least try to be.

Thank you.

Hey, what's up?

Wait, I got nervous.

Oh, wow. Thank you.

I don't want to do this.

Okay, no worries. Fun. You're so much fun.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay. You ruined the whole day.

It's tough to be put on the spot.

I was fine with you because it's actually you. And I'm actually trying to help you. But this feels like we're making fun of you. Oh, fuck. But with you, I'm like. I'm actually trying to help you.

Well, we were trying to help him. He was trying to learn something by viewing.

I think you're fine.

I think the problem is that I also view this as, like, acting and improv, and I get really flustered when.

I try to do. We got to get you blackout before we get there. That's when you're at.

I got a pregame a little bit.

Yeah.

We're going in at, like, a four. Or is that too much?

I might. Also might have lined up some kisses for somebody else. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I got a couple of guys coming your way.

I don't know who.

Why would I tell you? Let it be a surprise.

It's new year's.

I'll kiss everyone.

I don't care. I'll kiss everyone. I'll psych everybody off right now. I'll do it with no eyebrows.

Me on the drunk podcast.

Oh, yeah, you were horned up. I don't know what's going on there.

What?

You were looking at me like this.

Okay, can we talk about that for a second? There's so many edits. And I stopped looking at me like that.

The way you looked at me.

I was just drunk.

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

No, they're not. And I wasn't saying words.

If you were in love with me, it's okay, because I'm not going to tell anybody.

The salt burn edit of you guys is my least favorite.

The one where it looks like you're finishing.

What's up?

That's the exact to completion.

And if you know anything about me, I have a hard time finishing, so you're welcome. It's not true.

Have you guys seen Saltbird?

No, I have not.

It's so good.

It didn't bother me as much as.

It didn't bother me at all. Maybe we have some issues, or maybe.

We got a good mind. We can just handle stuff. Maybe we're like marines up top.

There was like this thing where it was like, there's two kinds of people. People who could take it, like, could take the uncomfortableness and people who couldn't. And it says a lot about you. And I was like, this didn't bug me at all.

It says a lot about you.

I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Oh, okay. No, now we're in different cases.

Wait, which part? The grave part made me a little uneasy.

But you enjoyed the bathtub part?

Yeah, I did.

Like, that's hot.

Let's change the subject.

I got to see this.

Trying to tell you what happened. Move on if you don't want a spoiler to later in the podcast, essentially.

Jacob Elordi, why are you whispering?

Because my mom could be listening to, and she has bad hearing. So if I whisper, maybe she can't hear it. But Jacob Elordi is performing on himself in the bathtub, and there's another gentleman watching. Okay. And then when he's done, obviously things come out. They go down the drain.

Natural.

Sure. And the other guy walks in. Now that I say it's kind of. I'm kind of in the camp of this is wild. He gets down there and tries to suck the stuff out of the drain.

No, he's like slurping the bathwater. What was gross to me is when he put his tongue in, like the rusty drain, that's when I was like, diseases. Other than that, I'm like, this is hot, hot. I don't know. I might have problems yeah, you've got.

At least six of them.

The dude, I'd argue seven.

He tongued the drain.

That was kind of gross. But people are grossed out that he slurped the bathwater. I'm like, when he's in love with him, I think, or he loves him, and it's kind of hard.

I mean, that has been, like, a common occurrence in modern day culture where people sell their bathwater and stuff.

Help.

There's a girl that sells her farts.

I should get on that business.

We've done so well without bringing up any tuke talk, and you, of course, had to bring it up.

Every time I come here, and I sit right here, I'm like, oh, it's my little fart spot.

And, yeah, you've tooted all over it. You know, people say that spot stinks. I said, that's Tara.

I said, that's Tara.

And she ain't being yummy. Say, for whatever reason, our house. Okay, this is your house. Something was happening, and you had to come stay here, and you.

This wouldn't be my first choice, brother.

Shut the hell up.

It's a hypothetical.

Oh, my gosh. Can I just get. I will punch you.

Am I staying in Jared's room?

Yes. Okay. This is literally where I was going.

Oh, really?

Yes.

Okay, go ahead.

So chill. Okay. You're in the shower, and then you come out, and then, for whatever reason, Jared goes to the bathroom, and you forget something. You don't know he's in there, and you actively see him slurping up your bathwater. What would your reaction be?

That's hot.

Really?

What?

Oh, my.

I don't know. I'd be really flattered. I would think he may be like, I don't know. At first, I wouldn't think.

Oh, you need to read the Bible. The Torah, the Quran. What else is up? Like, whatever John Smith did, you got to read it all.

I don't know. I feel like at first I'd be like, oh, is the water not running? Does he need water to rinse his mouth?

The guy's sucking up your backwash. Your body backwash?

I don't know, dude.

You got to get checked or something.

You would feel flattered. You wouldn't be creeped out in the slightest.

I got to go with you to counseling or something because I want to be there to make sure you're there.

I'm not all there for sure, I don't think. I've been all there for, like, a good maybe six months.

Oh, this recently started?

No.

What happened? Six months ago that maybe turned this. Turned your brain around, turned things into different stuff.

I went through a public breakup.

Oh. What happened?

Okay.

Was it with. It was with the guy. You guys are friends, though, right?

Yeah, I was just joking. I've been mentally sick in the head for way longer than six months.

Okay. Yeah, because you can't. Because the Internet's going to take that and run and be like, you're blaming him for. And you want to publicly say in this camera that.

Jake, no, I've been a little weird for, like, probably five years.

So what happened five years ago?

That I started YouTube.

Yeah. That makes that relationship for four and a half years. Okay. And then you've been single for six months. Yeah, but it happened five years ago.

Yeah.

I'm just seeing what math is there on that. You're a public school kid, right?

Yeah.

So are you.

I love public school. I think we're all public school.

I love public school.

There's nothing better.

I'm so glad I did it because, I don't know, I feel like private school is a little bit.

You just never know what's going to happen in public school.

That's what's fun.

It's part of the human experience to.

Go to a public school. One time I peed in a bottle for the football, the guy on the football team, because I was like, I didn't smoke weed at the time, and he needed to get tested.

I didn't know where this was.

When she was going to drink.

The guy at school, he handed me an empty water bottle. He's like, tar, can you please piss him? I was like, I'm getting tested for football. And I know you don't smoke weed. And I was like, sure. He wasn't even cute either. I just did it to do it.

You're just being a good person to someone that's ugly. Wow, you're such a good person. No, she's like, you shouldn't be nice to ugly people. But I was like, who I am.

No, I'm saying it's like, that's a lot to ask of someone to go during lunch period, to go pee in a bottle as a girl, it's hard. And you would think, like, at least the guy was cute.

It's more of like a shotgun blast.

Yeah, you would think, oh, at least the guy was cute. No, he wasn't really my type.

I was just like, but do you want give a guy you're attracted to your urine? Yeah, warm urine.

I guess not. I don't know.

I'd be self conscious to give anyone my urine just because of.

Don't give it to me, dude.

The color, the smell.

You don't know what I'll do with it. Exactly.

He was very thankful for it. And the next day, he came back, and he's like, it worked.

Well. Yeah.

I mean, I would be thankful, too, if I.

What?

You did commit a crime.

You did commit a crime.

Are you serious?

Yeah. 100% federal.

Are you joking?

No. You could go to jail.

What's the statute of limitations on that?

First of all, it's liberty.

What?

Statute of. Sorry, I've been really off today. Good. You good? Yeah.

Are you good?

I've always been good, Jerry.

Are you good?

I'm fantastic.

Elsa.

Yep.

I couldn't tell because of the long wait. Can you try really, really hard? Like, the hardest you can?

She's like, I am.

Like, I can't wait.

So what does that feel like in your.

It feels like my eyebrows are up way. I should get that done.

Why?

You don't have wrinkles.

It's not, like, preventative, dude.

I didn't have quote unquote wrinkles either. But when you raise your eyebrows, you do.

Talking.

Why are you looking at me when they're talking?

I said you were talking, and then I was moving my head. Dude, this is the thing about certain humans. Yeah, let me catch a break. Dude, don't we have hats? Tell them.

You mean these hats. Yeah, that are brand new in the shop right now. The new dropouts. Is it diner?

You're overselling it, man. Oh, they're not great. I like them, though.

Do you say I'm not great?

No, they're not great.

What do you mean?

They're really crappy hats.

No, they're not.

What? Well, then what's so great about them?

They're fantastic hats. They fit wonderfully, they have a nice shape to them, and they look amazing.

Oh, I didn't know that. I guess I should get one now. Yeah, you should. Marketing, reverse psychology. Ever heard of it?

Actually, I facetimed you, and I was like, I want one.

Yeah.

And then you told me to order one online, which is pretty sick. He was like, you can get it online.

I'm like, I've already given you a t shirt before.

Yeah, and I wear it.

You've never worn it?

Yes.

I have never seen you in it.

What about the camera in my eyebrow?

Oh, that got you there. Hits you. You know that I don't turn it on if you got clothes on.

Do you guys know the gypsy Rose story?

Yes. Of course. I'm so happy for her.

Well, she got out recently, I think, on the 20 eigth.

One, don't know who it is. Two.

Wait, where was she? What? She was in jail. Gypsy Rose Blanchard was in jail because she basically. Was it second degree murder, like, helping her mother, because her mother used the shit out of her growing up. It's a certain word for it.

Oh, the act.

Yes, the act. The Joey King. She got out of prison recently.

I want to watch it.

Two days ago, I worked on that show. Did you really? I love that show. It was amazing. It was really well done.

You've seen it?

No, I've never watched it.

I want to watch it.

Was Joey King.

Was it good?

Yeah, I heard it was really good.

Yeah, it was really good.

Yeah. Joey Kings. She's a phenomenal actress.

Anyways, you're right.

I think.

I think it's called Munchauser syndrome or something. Is like, what? Her. It's like, what is it? Munchauser by proxy.

Yeah, by proxy. Yeah. It's like, isn't it when someone makes you think you're ill all your life?

Yeah.

And so, hold on, Munchause, insane.

Like, this mom basically had her, like, she was Fed through a tube. All her teeth were taken out.

She got a lot of money. What, from the tooth fairy? Oh, my God. Okay. There'silver linings to everything. Yeah.

So it's called munch hounds. Munchausen. God, I can't say that. Is a psychological disorder marked by attention seeking behavior by a caregiver through those who are in their care. And so they're saying that her mom had that. And, like Tara was saying, she made her child, gypsy, believe that she was sick all of her life. She did all these horrible things. She was, like, forced to be in a wheelchair, changed her age.

She'd be like, oh, you only have a life expectancy of seven. Oh, no, 15. And she kept changing her records, and she said that basically all her records got fucked up during Hurricane Sandy. I think it was basically everything lined up perfectly for that mom and the way she got out of it. Gypsy is basically, you're a mom. She found someone online, and she stole a laptop, literally, from her mom, and found someone online who became her boyfriend. And the boyfriend helped basically get rid of the mom, and she went to prison for it. And they were like, people are saying, like, oh, she finally, justice was served. But I don't think justice was served. I don't think she deserved to spend those years in prison at all.

No, because that's the thing is she.

Got out early, but she shouldn't have been in the first place. In my opinion.

She was in for. She murdered her abuser, which is like a complicated. But yeah, she didn't do it. She didn't do it, her boyfriend did it and then she ran away with him. Like she was part of the planning, which is why she got second degree. But yeah, it's a complicated situation. But one of the crazy facts that I learned was when she met her boyfriend online, she thought she was 15 at the time because that's the age that her mom told her. And I think she was actually like 21 or something.

I think 19 or 20.

Yeah, she was.

It's really significantly older.

Sorry, I thought you were going to react like, oh, the story is crazy.

The show, the act really does a good job. I think of at least just giving you the basics of the.

But you guys haven't spoiled anything so far, right?

Yeah, I was going to say you.

Should still watch it. Everyone knows what happened.

I didn't know. Okay. I actually didn't know. I actually knew the.

She finally got out.

She did.

And she's like doing really well and she has like a fiance, she has a husband.

Should we have her on the podcast?

Sure, dude. That'd be awesome.

So how have you been? Not good, dude.

But the crazy thing is I went down a rabbit hole.

He's still in prison.

Yeah, he got, he got life plus 20 years.

But the thing is, I went down a rabbit hole and I was learning stuff past the story. Like, I was learning about her life in prison and she was having people. So for a while, she would still say that she's very much in love with her boyfriend, right. And then in an interview, like a couple of weeks ago or a couple of months ago or something, the interviewer asked her, are you still in love? Because now she has a husband and everything. She's like, are you still in love with your boyfriend? And she's like, if you would have asked me two years ago, yes. But now I couldn't care less about him. And he's sitting and rotting in jail because he murdered somebody for her, which sucks for him.

Yeah.

Well, what?

Why do you do that?

What do I do? What?

You don't react.

I knew this, that's why I didn't react, because I've been down the same.

You both knew it. Dude, come on.

You didn't know shit, Zach.

Anyway, thank you guys so much for coming to the Dropouts podcast. I'm glad we could have a kind of a chill day. And again, if you're not on the Patreon, you absolutely should be. Seven day free trial. Win some prizes. Fuck Nintendo switch.

Get a lot of bonus content.

A lot of bonus content. I love to hear that.

Wait, can I say why they should join the Patreon?

Yeah.

Because it makes you feel like you're.

A part of something, part of a family.

Are you a part of the Patreon?

I am.

Be honest.

I'm subscribed. No. I am.

And do you love it?

I do love it.

Do you love that you have to pay for something that you're actively on? Like, you can't see yourself unless you pay for it?

I just want to say, Zach doesn't give me the Patreon for free. I still pay for it.

Of course. Get on there. Should have got the seven day free trial, but I guess you were too dumb. Thank you, Tara, for coming.

Thanks for having me.

Yummy as ever. Alyssa, raise your eyebrows. Jared, close your mouth.

No. Million dollar smile. You know I love it.

Oh, trust me, you've told me. Make sure. But you put in the comments, and even if you're a person that normally doesn't comment things, just do it. Okay? Because I actually interested in this. What series are you watching right now? Because I just rewatched the bear, and I can't explain how absolutely fantastic it is. It might be one of my favorite shows ever. Anyway, we'll see you guys. Thank you.