I just don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

Xane and Heath?

Yeah, the.

Only podcast I'm on.

We need the intro.

I just don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

It's all right, man.

I thought you're going to say Xane and Heath.

Xane.

And Heath. That was fucking stupid. That was the whole point. So you can say Xane and heath. It's okay. I just don't think I can do that.

You look too casual. You got to look... You're disheveled.

I just don't think I could do the podcast on YouTube. Com anymore.

Wait. Oh. This is.

Why they're pissed. This is why they're angry. Look what.

We're doing right now.

I just don't think I could do the X and Heath unfiltered podcast. Is that what you want me to say? It sounds fucking down.

Yo, guess where we're going? New York to do a live show, live podcast, games, prizes, all in between. We just did the LA show. We sold it out. It was a ton of fun. We expect in New York, you guys got to beat the LA people. You guys got to come out in droves. Just when I say this is going to be the best time of your life, know that I'm probably lying because that would be your birth or else you wouldn't be here. But number two is not bad. Also, here's a promise. If the show is bad and you have a bad time, we're not going to give you a refund, obviously, but you get a chance at breaking Jared's nose by punching him as hard as you can in the face. What the hell? On July 27th, we're going to be in New York City. The Big Apple Jared.

My first time there.

The Big Apple. Stop fondling me. Oh, handsome is not happy. Tickets in the description. If you don't see the tickets in the description, guess what? Today's the day of the launch. We might.

Be getting the.

Link late. We might be getting the link a little late, so check back, okay? Thank you. I know we should probably have it squared away before we announce it, but just know we're going to have a link very soon and it's going to be in the description. New York.

Thank you and.

Enjoy the show. We weren't even recording.

The whole time?

Could you imagine?

God, you.

Fucking suck. Could you imagine if I didn't look over there? We're just 45 minutes in. Dude, I would have killed myself.

No, wait, that is your job. I didn't see that.

I told you, we're trying to fire her for years and we've only had her for a year. Less than that. Less than that. It's the first time that's happened.

Well, I mean, they missed so much. What were we.

Talking about? Can we get the smoke intro?

Oh, yeah, let's get that smoke. I did a smoke intro. We'll do.

It one more time. We solved world peace.

And Zane was doing this. That must be like an intro. What's up, guys? Welcome to Episode 155 of Dropouts. This week, we have Zane Hajazi. How does it feel to be on a podcast? You've ever.

Done one? Yeah, I am on one.

Okay. It's a intro music, Alyssa. This is not going to go.

Why did it sound like you had to convince yourself? Because I blacked out. I like.

Mini blacked.

Out for a hot second.

Can you pretend you haven't done a thousand podcast before and just give us some actual energy here?

No, I'm.

Just.

Exhausted. Can you lead the way, please?

No, I'm good. I'm good. No, I'm here. I'm here. Let's go.

Why are.

You so tired? Don't lead into this shit. I know. Come on. Just going to complain.

He's going to complain. I'm not.

Going to complain.

No, that's my favorite part is the complaining.

Let me act like I care. What's going on?

Okay, all right. Really quick. I don't want to talk too much about... I'm on the Zillow. Don't speak so fast.

We got to get to an hour. I'm on the Zillow.

I am on the transformation shit right now. I'm the next victim. Again, I quit the first time. I quit after three months. I'm doing it again. I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm on the fourth day and I feel like I should be down by 25 pounds already and I'm not.

How did you tell him last time that you were quitting? Did you have anxiety.

About it? It just dissolved. It wasn't no like, we're done. It was like a... Oh, interesting. I stopped going to the 8 AM workouts because I could not wake up that early.

Every day. That's you, E lissa.

Whenever you have the time, I'll love to do the workout, let's do it later. But he didn't have any time, so it just fizzled out.

Got you. So it's his fault.

And that's when I started binge.

Eating it. That's when it fucking went off.

The rails. Because I was like, oh, well, I look good. I look good now, so I'm just going to eat whatever I want again. And I went right back to where I started. So I went to the dexas scan. Same body fat percentage, same everything that I started with.

Those three months is gone.

Down the shit. I was so excited. I was like, oh, my God. I'm going to have a Head Start. Fuck yeah. Fuck you, Heath. I'm going to have abs in two months instead of the five months. And it's going to take me longer.

I think you and Heath should have some physical altercation match for viewers. Would you box them or are you just straight.

Fist fight? Dude, I'm really bad at fighting and just hand work in general. Co ordination?

Horrible. You guys could shoot stuff up so you can do the most drugs.

I mean, we don't even do that. I would win. I thought you meant shooting guns. Heath would obviously win in that.

Okay, so this is how it's going to go. Jared, you're listening?

I'm listening.

You got to be got to run this like it's Zane and Heath unfiltered because we're tired. So you just maybe even ask us questions.

Wait, you're tired?

No, I took pre workout before.

Oh, you're.

Good to go? No, the best part about doing other people's podcast is that I don't have to do all the work. I thought work comes to me and then I get the feed off it. That's why I love doing other. You can't put the work on me. That's not fair.

That's what you think. But when you come to our podcast and the guest has a podcast, we take the back seat.

Oh, really? So what do you want? What do you want me to start with?

I don't know.

Do you have bullet points I could work on? I'd be like, Oh, okay.

No, that would be us doing work. So you got to...

Okay. I saw for this last episode of Unfilters that I edited, I saw Jordan's notes for the show for the first time. It looks like a serial killer's ransom note.

What were they?

Dude, no, it wasn't anything bad. It was all just points that they talked about. But it's all different sizes, different fonts, different colors.

Oh, yeah. The part where he had games, it's like each letter is a different one. Where did he find.

The time?

Where did he find the time to change the.

Font color?

This is what Heath is.

Paying you for? I think Heath's on the brink of just being like, Hey, buddy, I'm going to put you in the box I found you with. Does Heath know he's in experiment yet? Because there's no way he's actually a human being. Heath?

Why do you think he's in experiment? Why don't you think he's in experiment? No, it's J ordan. Oh, J ordan?

Absolutely. Yeah, you're.

Caught up. Made in the lab just like you. Made in the lab, but something happened to his little vial. You turned out fine, though.

Thank you. Appreciate it.

You want to talk about Jared having sex with one of the friends in the.

Friend group? No, we're not talking about that. We're keeping my love life off of this podcast.

Oh, really? Oh, you didn't have any problem with keeping my personal life out of the last episode that we did. Yeah, man.

What did.

We do? I don't know. I don't remember. I know I still have trauma for it. That was my story to tell, and you guys forced me to tell that story.

Okay, well, do you want to expose him really quick?

Yeah. I'm going.

To cut it. Don't cut.

It, man.

This is great. Talking about my love life on the podcast has gotten me in so.

Much trouble. Oh, wait.

So you are in love? Wait, love life.

Okay, love life is like an umbrella term. It's just like anything to do with that aspect of my life.

I can hear the butterflies.

We can hear your heart beating, man. You need to calm down.

That's just the pre workout.

All right, let's leave it a little game. The person that we're talking about will be... Why am I looking at the trophy? That was the.

Person.

We're talking about is going to be a guest on this episode four episodes later in the next.

Four episodes. You're predicting the future?

Well, I'm just.

Telling them that we're going to have the most random guests. First of all, I didn't know Jared was gay. Second off, congr.

Dude, four episodes from now, we're just going to have the rabbi that keeps knocking on our door and they're going to be like, What the fuck?

Have you had a rabbi?

No. Why do you have a rabbi knocking.

On our door? He won't leave us alone.

Our landlords, the family that lived here before, this is a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, but there's a rabbi that I don't think knows that they left. And it's like horror movie level of knocking where he takes his cane and is smashing. We have metal doors and he's smashing it. But it's like at nine o'clock at night.

So it's pitch black. But you can see his silhouette. And you can see just the ethnic knock that he's in. I think he's going to come in and.

Murder us. And Zane's asleep.

I think I'm asleep.

No, no. Okay, no, no. Fuck this. All right, so this rabbi, have you answered the door? Have you told him that like, oh, hey, it's us. It's Jared and Zach.

I'm too scared.

So you're going to let him knock on the door and call you at night?

He's tried the door handle a little bit.

Yeah, he's tried the door handle. That was the.

Really scary part. He's just going to come in. And we can't call the cops because then I think it's a hate crime.

100 %.

Because if we think he's something bad, it's like, Oh, you're assuming.

Well, no, you just say that we assume the Cain was a AK 45.

Yeah. Ak 45. Guys. About that time. What would your wrapper name be?

My wrapper name would be Z3 on the D.

Okay.

Let me change the.

Last one. Pause.

Z3 on.

The key. Wait, no. Z3 Kiki.

Okay. Why the key key? I don't know. Sounds cool. Sounds cool?

Yeah, Z3 key key. Post Malone, he didn't have a plan when he went into it. Of course not.

Do you know how he came up with this?

Yeah, he went on to the little.

Generative website. I think that's so fucking cool.

Can you go to a website that makes you rappers? Names. Com and put in Zane Hajazi. Thank you so much.

Wait, no, you don't put your name. I think you just put... You do a word generator. It's a word generator.

Can we get a word generator of a rapper name, but don't put in Zane Hajazi?

You thought you could put Zane Hajazi? It was.

Going to come up with something like that? Something really good.

I don't think so. Oh, you mean the AI chat?

I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Do the AI chat and put a cool rapper name for Zane Hajazi.

Whoa, chat GPT.

Or chat GPT, sorry. Do you guys have that on? Why am I expecting.

It to come on the TV? Because we are too.

Low budget here.

Trust me, it's going lower. Do you have a login? Do I have a login? I thought it.

Was free. No, I think you have to make an account.

Can you go to Snapchat and use that AI?

I don't like the Snapchat AI. I don't think it's that great.

Mine's been hitting on me. Has it? Yeah. Well, I've been saying very sexual things to it.

Okay, so that makes sense. Yeah, but.

It probably... I thought it doesn't feed into anything sexual or political or...

It minds you to keep it on the low.

Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, that's good. If you pay it, why is Pornhub in Europe? Wait, what?

Her.

Reaction made it seem like that she actually has visited Pornhub.

You guys have to be probably the last people to sign up for this on.

This site.

Oh, yeah, 100 %. Everybody has it. Everybody has an account now.

We're late just like my mom's period. Wait, no, this isn't it. Hey, no worries. You're going to fire it anyway. Just go.

To word generator. Just do word generator. Random word generator.

We could go old school and do like WuTang name generator. That's how childish.

Can be. We only have one chance and this will be my rap name if I ever became a rapper.

Are we doing one word or.

Two words? It's two words. Two words? Yeah. I think you do. Two words, please.

All.

Right. Wait, wait. Go to word type? I'm just curious of what word type is. Maybe we.

Should do nouns.

Verbs seem fun.

Yeah, but then he's going to get like flying running.

Hey, pretty hard.

Flying running.

That's.

Pretty hard. Just keep it all actually. Keep it all. Keep it all. Wait, it says one of them is non English. That's perfect.

Wait, that's sick.

Okay, first letter is Z. Wait, no, no, no, no, wait, wait. First letter of the word is generating, right? Yeah. No, no, no.

Never mind. Oh, wait.

Yeah, just leave it blank. Just hit generate.

Smash team?

Dude, that sounds like the new internet group.

Smash team. Does that mean we have to be a part of it as well?

So we're a.

Team now. Yeah, it's not just one wrapper. We're a group of rappers. We're Brock Hampton.

We're the.

Smash team. Smash team.

That's hard because.

I've never heard the two words together.

Like that. Smash team. It doesn't phonetically flow beautifully. Smash records. Smash team. Smash team. It hurts a.

Little bit. It doesn't hurt me. I love the smash team.

Team Smash. Team Smash is much better.

That just sounds like, well.

That sounds like God gave us.

Jared. Dude, can you do one more? We're going to have a backup.

Dependence.

Civilian. I like that so much better.

Dude, this rapper is like a fucking... He is super deep and political in.

His rap. Doesn't that sound like just some LA girls' new streetwear brand? Dependence Civilian. Dependent Civilian.

And just so long. You can't even fit that on a fucking shirt.

Are you guys coming to my drop? No, we're not.

No, we're not coming to Dependence Civilian.

Well, that was fun. The Smash team was perfect. I mean, there couldn't have been a better one.

Are you sick of getting older?

Yes. Yeah, sure.

Because I feel like we're on the fleeting youth. It used to be like, Oh, there's the young guys. Now we're watching the young people frolick.

Exactly.

I'm sick of it.

Well, I'll walk into... I feel like bars are my age, but I'll go into a nightclub just here and there. I'm 100 % the oldest person always in the nightclub. And it just reminds me of how old I'm getting. It's really really sad. 30 out here is the new 22.

Dude, I saw a really funny tweet about... They were like, I met a guy and he's 31. But like a North Carolina 31 where he has a mortgage and a home.

And blaze the Oregon Trail.

Not.

Even that. It's just wife, kids, family shit. That's what 31 is.

They finished it by being like, not in LA 31 where the guy's just learning how to make a chicken or something.

I feel like if I heard someone say, outside of LA or our friend group, 31 years old, I'm having a kid, I'd be like, Oh, congratulations. But if I saw any of our friend group who was even older having kids, I'd be.

Like, Why? You're burning your life.

You're.

So young. What are you doing? Yeah. No, my God. No, absolutely. There's some couples that make sense, like Kean and A laa. That makes sense to me. She's pregnant. I'm like, They look like they should be a family. They made a family channel. It makes sense.

They just did it for the family channel. Once it got monetized, once it got monetized, you took out the... What is that? Iud? Iud? What the fuck is that? Oh, it's like this little crossbow. You throw up your Gucci and you can't get pregnant. Is that what it is? Little tiny crossbow?

Dude, no, those family channels, they make so much money. Oh, my God. It's ridiculous. Oh, my God. They bring to throw their fucking whole income. I don't know even the term, but they throw a lot of money to family channels.

They love that. Could we just create our own family channel?

We could if we adopt.

I'm down. Do you want to be mother, father?

And we cannot adopt a wife and a baby.

Why.

Are there gender roles in this? It's 2023.

All right, well, you're not in the family anymore.

I'm not part of Smash T.

Absolutely not. You're definitely not a part of dependent civilian.

I'm going to have to have.

Leah watch this video. How is it having an assistant? When did you get your first assistant?

I got my first assistant three years ago.

Did you struggle giving her commands at first?

Absolutely. Oh, my God. Yeah, I was scared to look in her direction.

I was scared to.

Walk around her because I didn't want to invade her area.

Does yours have an attitude sometimes?

A little bit.

Yeah, ours has an attitude.

But she was really nice. She was an assistant to an office. I think it wasn't the best type of assistant to get the first time because she was good at paperwork but doing.

All the weird.

Random stuff. Creative stuff. Yeah, it was a little funny. But yeah, that was my first assistant. She was really sweet, though. But I know you're... I think she would do better. Why? My first assistant because.

She's like... Did you see the record thing?

That.

Was really bad. We could have been talking. We could have still been talking and not even... I don't know. You better be lucky we have a secret relationship.

Why are you playing Solitaire while we're recording?

Yeah, Alyssa.

Come on. Alyssa, we can see your screen.

What? Last week, she just started shaving your legs in the middle of this whole thing.

Oh, my God. Was it for the manscape thing or.

You just No, just dry. There's no...

Where are you putting the hairs? I know they're thick, too. Your hair is.

Very thick. Oh, yeah. I t's like you.

Have it. Where you're sitting.

Right where I'm sitting?

He just eats them. I'm going to put this in my pocket for later.

Anything else? I have nothing in my bank right now or anything in my tank for things to bring up to you guys. I have nothing new.

Well, you have nothing old either, right? No, I don't. What year do you think was your best time on social media?

2018.

2019. Let's talk about...

That was a.

Golden age. Let's pretend you're Zane and let's pretend we're in 20... You're still Zane, but let's pretend you're saying 2018. This is taking place in 2018. Zane, you've been.

Killing it this year. I wouldn't even give you.

Guys the time.

Yeah, that makes sense. That adds up. I was also like, blogging a lot. I had no time for anything, I feel like, except for helping other people blog and then.

Doing my own stuff. Do you like life better now, though? Yeah.

I feel like I'm focused more on more important things.

Like a coffee brand? Yeah. I love coffee.

Yeah. Coffee drink coffee. Jared, when we have a guy that has a coffee brand on here, I'm going to say I love coffee.

But you don't have to lie to me and you don't have to lie to everybody else, too.

I buy it.

No, you don't.

What's your favorite strain of coffee?

Black? Do you guys have that flavor? Of course we do. I also like the vanilla.

Tahitian vanilla?

Very good. Oh, my dude, this guy will suck you off in the back of a key.

It's not fair because he sees is the fucking box.

Every week. I see.

It every week. Do you ever get scared about him quitting his job?

I haven't really thought of that.

I'm sure at some point, I'm sure your goal is to not have to edit other people's videos, right?

Yeah, my goal is to not even have to edit this.

Yeah, yeah. Whoa, what do you mean?

I've told you that plenty of times.

You're nothing but a pack mule to me. Yeah.

That was fucked.

Up, right? That's usually what we say to Mariah. Oh, yeah. Because she still does the editing after him.

We need to all get together and we can make trades, like the NBA draft. Good idea.

Oh, that's a.

Great idea. Or just NBA trade deadline. It's like, all right, I'll give you Jared for...

You can take Matt the Rat.

Okay, we'll take Matt, but then Matt can also bring a little bit of clout, so we have to give a cash exchange as well.

Oh, like pay for it.

Yeah, I love it. It has to.

Be an equal exchange. It's got to be even.

Yeah. Well, if it's even, then we need both of you.

So we need both of them, then we get Matt? I have no editor. Do you think Matt will do it?

I don't know if I can learn to edit. Don't you edit your social clips? Stop.

No, he's outsourced that.

You outsourced that? No, I thought you were a hard worker.

I thought you had it. I recently got back on the horse. Didn't I edit mine today, Elysa? Yeah. I noticed when other people edit my stuff, it doesn't do as well.

It just... They don't have... Because people like your vision of what you're putting out. People can tell when you don't edit.

Your own stuff. Yeah, and they get mad about it.

It sucks. It sucks because one day we want to find our own... Or someone editing our shit and everyone's like, Nope, we want you to edit for the rest of your life.

We came on your patron episode once and I posted a clip from the podcast that we were on with them with the patron, and it was funny. And he was like, Hey, man, could you not post till we get ours out there? I'm like, Okay, I check in a month later. You guys were like, We're still going to post. Is it free game for me to cut it up yet or you're still maybe going to post that?

I totally forgot. Did we ever post?

No.

Not once.

Wow. It's like almost a year later.

Holy shit. Yeah, don't post it.

Yet though. You guys are going to get to it?

We're going to get back on it.

That's why Heath said he goes, Dude, we're not even going to look at that again. He's like, Bazane for some reason doesn't know that. No, I just thought that was funny. I was like, There's no way.

I actually feel honestly, feel really bad about that. Oh, really? No, because usually we are very on top of it. We put that shit out in a day or two.

The clips probably weren't funny enough. Jared and I, we're not good.

No, they're funny. If you've done it, if you've realized we haven't posted in months, it takes a lot of time to edit those fucking clips. It really does. We're trying to find somebody right now, but I want them to edit the junk, and I go in and do the final... Which is something you have to do for this show for the rest of your life. You have to do final cuts. You can't trust anybody to do final cuts before it.

Goes live. How long does it take Mariah to do final cuts after you edit?

I.

Don't know. Once he sends it over, his job.

Is done. You never rewatch it to give him a view? Well, they're respectful. I watch every one of their podcast twice. I love the last one. Really? What was the name of it? Oh, I don't know the name because I was just so focused on the content.

What was the first word said.

In the episode? Oh, what's up, guys? What did we talk about? Coffee, probably.

It's bullshit. I literally watched the last five episodes of this coming here. Yes. Dude, I fucking do my research before coming on to it.

That's what it is. Okay, who was our last guest?

Matt Rifey.

No, Rifey. I'm pretty sure I told you who it was moments ago. No, it wasn't Matt Rifey. Great episode, though. We should just have him on every time.

Yeah, that's what my mom said, too.

Oh, the Sophs.

The.

Sophs. The Sophs. Sophs, Sophs, stoss.

Sophs, stoss. Stacey, baby. Yeah. I don't think I've even met her.

Just go to Zillow gym at.

4 in the morning. She'll be there.

Ten in the morning, she'll be there.

Is she doing a doc?

You know what? You should walk right up to her. Just pull up and be like, I'm such a huge... You're not friends with anybody at the house. You just pulled up. Have a big group of people in the car, too. Usually, that's the look. When people drive by, usually, they have a group of people all together. Have a group of your friends in.

There and then you walk up. Should I work out for 10 minutes first?

Yeah.

And then afterwards, you'd be like, I don't even work. I don't even know where I just really.

Want to know. I wanted to wait till you're just working out. I was waiting there for you the.

Whole time. You think she'd think that's hot? Is she single?

She would definitely not think that's hot. And she would definitely call the police.

The police? Yeah.

Dude, look at the look you have.

It's concerning. It's menacing? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit.

That hurts. If I looked at my ring camera at three in the morning and I saw you sneaking around, you...

Anybody.

Sneaking around my house at three in the morning, I'd freak.

Because if it was him or her, I'd be like.

Oh, you tell me Jared's sneaking around. What is he doing? I'd be like, Oh, I hate to have to call the police.

They look so innocent. But you?

You got real... Jokes on you, I would never sneak around your house. Last year, you guys gave Jared $5,000. I was deployed not to leave. You guys are going to double that this year?

Absolutely not. But you know what? You deserve every single dollar for that first visit.

What did you do with that money?

I bought a car.

For $5,000? No. I'm so sorry.

I was saving up for a while and that was the last little, not little, but that was the last bit that I needed.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, my God. You should have told us that's so cool.

No, I thought I did.

What did you buy?

The Camaro out there.

Yeah. That's why he's hooking up with, Bleep.

Nice. Thank you for censoring yourself.

My beep. Have you guys experienced in the car?

No.

You.

Should. It's fun.

The back seat's huge.

Make.

Sure it's really hot outside and it's in.

A plazzo. Yeah, and make sure the car is off. Is that speaking from experience?

Is that your worst hookup experience?

It's.

Just.

Disgusting. It's gross.

There's already a lot of smells going on.

It's in a $5,000 car, too, at the time, so it was real nasty.

You don't need to be doing coitus in a crock pot.

And we did not use a.

Snicker's bar. What would you use?

Reesies? Nothing. You don't use anything.

Not in Florida. Not in Florida.

You don't.

Use anything.

In.

Florida. No, no, no, no.

That's actually a lot. The many cross Florida line, that's where it's.

Like condoms, I guess. Plan B is plan A.

Yeah, exactly. That's why everyone gets pregnant.

Out there. You used a condom when you recently experienced a.

Woman, right? I'm not talking about this.

Your first time using a condom?

Fuck.

Off. Jared, why?

God.

Not this now. Why? Where did you say names? I beeped it out.

I don't want to talk.

About this. We talk about who Heath hooks up. They talk about who Heath hooks up every podcast.

That's not.

The same. Did we tell you about the time we three way to porn star?

Whoa.

Yeah. You see, I'm being open.

You should be open too. Wait, can we get into that story? We need content.

I don't think Heath wants me to talk about it. He's in a six year relationship.

I don't think he does. Mariah loves stories like that.

No, out of respect, I will not get into this all about it. But I will bring it up. But I will bring it up. No, I think bring it up as much as a big difference between getting into the details of like...

Could you draw it from memory?

It was yesterday.

Was it weird seeing them in that setting?

You just don't talk about... I guess you just don't think about it the next day, right? It's like it happened and you just go... Let's just pretend I didn't see you completely naked.

You know.

What I mean? And rock hard.

Would you have a threesome with me?

No.

Hell no. Not even with Bleep? Do you think Bleep would let us? How many holes does Bleep have? She just needs one of them to breathe Bleep after. I don't even know when I'm Bleeping anymore. She just needs to breathe out of one. So we're good with you. Why not?

I think at this point she's filing a restraining.

Order right now. Dude, can you ask? For sure. No. Why?

I hate this. Can we talk about anything else?

Yes, let's talk about What are.

Your guys' thoughts on the new Apple Vision?

Boo. Who gives a fuck? I want to hear about this. Actually, no, let's talk about it. You want to talk about it? Have you talked about it yet?

No. We brought up the Vision Pro.

Thank God you're asking me a tech pro. I know everything about the Apple.

Vision Pro. Hell yeah, let's get.

Into it. Let's go.

Are you guys.

Excited about it? I'm actually very excited. I'm probably going to be the first one to buy one.

The commercials are so insane to me because they're doing very normal things but wearing the fucking headset. It's weird to me that a father is playing with his kid and wearing the headset at the same time. It's like... That I hate. I don't like that.

My dad could play with anything and wear anything and play with me and I'd be happy. It's just like, please.

But on the plane, I guess that makes sense. I don't even know how... I don't see them letting through with that shit. That looks like a fucking weapon. It's almost like night goggles for the military. But no.

You're.

Out. But that makes sense. You in your room, you're doing laundry and you're doing multitasking. That makes sense. But pay attention to your kid. Your kid is like Daddy, and you're just fucking working on the side. That doesn't make.

Sense to me. The idea of the 3D photos or 3D video or whatever that it takes, that's a really cool concept. But using it in the context of taking photos of your kids when you're supposed to be playing with them was such a bad choice. That t's so weird and so offputting.

And then they can't give you Pink Eye. Kids are notorious for giving you Pink Eye. You throw those things on? Can you look up if kids are the number one reason Pink Eye exists?

I don't.

Think so. Well, let's wait for Google to figure it out.

Is that why you get Pink Eye all the time?

Jared, he called you a pedophile, but from afar. I was.

Going to do it to you, but you get it so much.

I really don't. I'm not a pedophile like Jared's pedophile. I'm not a pedophile.

I'm not a pedophile.

Did you watch a pedophile drama film? The documentary? The Jared from the.

Subway documentary? No, but I saw that that was out. I need to watch it.

Oh, my God. We all heard that this guy was a pedophile, but we were like, Oh, he's a pedophile. And then we moved.

On, right? Yeah.

Watching the documentary, there was so much that I feel like a lot of people don't know how creepy.

Really? What did he do?

Well, he was obsessed with very young kids, like 12, 11, 10. And he would ask his friends, close friends, to send naked pictures of their kids to him.

He would ask.

His friends? His friends would do it? No. Thank God.

I was like, They need to be fucking.

Arrested.

Too. Absolutely. That was a part of the documentary. You're just like, Oh, my God. This is fucking horrible. It's on HBO Max.

Oh, thank you for correcting yourself. I always hate you.

I still don't know why they.

Made that change. I love HBO. Hbo has such a stature. Yeah.

They're only known for the best shows of all time. Might as well rebrand.

Seriously. But the thing is, people still say HBO Max.

No one will ever stop saying that.

No, because they go Max.

Can I bring something up? Singular Wireless.

Who says either?

I'm saying it. Remember, people are like, I'm still going to say singular. Now it's gone. Do you remember singular wireless? What's wireless? You don't remember singular wireless?

I remember that but.

The example... Now it's AT&T.

Well, they completely.

Changed the name. That's what I'm saying.

But this is like...

But this is they went from HBO.

To AVA Max to Max. My argument has a lot of holes in it. Let's just move on.

Let's dive into that because I think it's fucking...

How about we speak into the mic for once? Why don't we dive right into that? Coming around.

The turnpike.

That sounds awesome.

Coming around the turnpike is the guy with the big teeth. He's coming around fast. He's coming around fast. Oh, he just stumbled and we got his in his jersey coming at the rear. Oh, we got a 1,000 of.

One outs. I'd much rather listen to podcasts like that.

And then.

Directly into the mic. If we just sounded like a 1920s radio show.

I would love that.

That'd be fun. Hello, passengers. If you look out to your right, you'll see we're going down.

I'm not going to make that joke anyway.

New York is going through shit right now, so don't do that.

It has nothing to do with New York.

The last time they had this much fog, it was... Oh, Jesus.

Jared. And you were thinking it. You were thinking it way before he said that.

His people have been ostracized for years.

And me personally.

Really? Do you know.

What it's like? I would get stopped for an extra 10 seconds at the airport. It's fucking awful. My dad named Ahmed, right?

Guess.

What the name of the main terrorist in 1993? Ahmed said, yeah.

Did you know.

My.

Uncle went to flight school with the guys that crashed the plane?

I'm sorry?

Yeah. Down in Florida, he went to flight school with them.

With the guys that hijacked the plane?

Yeah. And why?

Don't say so casually.

Yeah, that's insane.

He just brought it up like, Yeah, I went to brunch last Sunday.

Yeah. No, he went and he said it was like... I mean, at the time, obviously, they didn't think anything of it. But he said, looking back on it now, it's really interesting because all they cared about was learning how to take off and how to fly the plane. But they failed every time they went to land it because they just didn't give a shit. Obviously, they had no intention to land it. Not a red flag?

How did.

They pass? They didn't. They just needed to learn enough to fly the plane. And so he went and then they had no idea at.

The time. How are you not on the news talking about this? This is like, really big.

I feel like it's...

Have you ever discussed.

This anywhere? I don't know. I also have something dark. I don't.

Think so.

But it's.

Actually this is Jared's.

Jesus. It's also about a mess. Okay.

It's because we didn't look at him for more than five seconds.

I know. A little attention.

Whorper over there. Just let me know when I can talk.

How does it feel? It tastes good? Anyways, Jared.

I mean, that's pretty.

Much the story. That's why I knew it was the end of the story. I've heard it before.

That's why I was segueing. Well, obviously, you have the viewers have it, and I'm one of the viewers. I'm part of them. I'm part of you guys.

Wait, his name was it's crazy.

I go, Ah. They go, Ah. Where is the KH? It's just the H. Imagine you bust a nut just like that with med. And I know I'm just used that to describe how to say my dad's name, which is fucking weird. But that's.

Exactly how you got to do it. Same name, also from Florida.

Say that again.

Also from Florida.

We're all from Florida. But...

All right. Right, Jared?

Yeah.

What? Did I.

Miss something?

Jared, fill him in.

You're saying your dad has the same name as the guy, the terrorist, who was in Florida for flight school, and you're from Florida? Oh, there you go.

No, this is a lot. I don't think your dad did it.

How much do you see them?

Just a little cock. Please don't moan while you do it.

My fucking underwear.

My uncle worked on the computer.

For the... Awesome story. Jared, do you have any other good stories?

This.

Is this one is.

Actually dark. Sorry. For the guy that shot up Las Vegas. Now you want to make.

Fun of him? These stories while I'm on the episode, that is so fucking targeted. Wait, who.

Brought up Muslim stuff? You did. Yeah, you did.

What did I say? You said, Can I drink your blood so I can have Arab in me?

That was inclusive. Somebody brought it up in a negative way and it wasn't me.

Oh, yeah. Someone brought up New York.

You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought it up. You brought up New York. Wait, no. He brought up New York.

Whoopsie. You got New York on the brain. I did.

Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our sponsor, Better Help.

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Here's a fun fact for you. Did you know that most people aren't hydrated and that actually really affects their cognitive and motor skills, physically and mentally? Let me tell you this, I wish there was a way that I could become hydrated in half the time.

Boy, do I have something for you, Zack. What is it?

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Com. Thank you so much, liquidiv.

Thank you more than Jared.

I'm going to go make a glass right now.

I want to say I support you.

You support me? Yeah.

And why?

And what? The decision I make in the future? I feel like I need to say it.

Okay, thank you.

We're good? I guess. But yeah, my uncle realized he worked on his computer. And then yeah.

Did he find anything weird on it?

No, not really. That's the mystery. I guess it's one of the most mysterious terrorist attacks ever.

Just because he didn't leave any motive or.

Anything behind? Nothing.

Was there anything wrong with his family life, his.

Personal life? I don't know enough about it. I was in Vegas at the time of it happened. We had friends there and my mom's fiancée at the time drove there to go get people out, which was good. Very heroic. But yeah, it was very strange. On lighter note, how's the Snapchat program? It's good.

It's awesome. Oh, my God. I love it.

So how much money are you making a month now?

Zach, stop asking our guests about money. Not everyone is as open.

About it. They should be. It wouldn't be so fun just to know.

Speaking of money, though, I thought it was interesting. I saw on Patrion that Flay Grant keeps the number of their subscribers public, and you also get to see how much they make. And so it's like they have 17,000 subs or something like that, and they make 80 grand a month. I thought that was interesting to leave public.

Do you leave your guys public?

No, we hide our subscribers and.

Am out. Are you willing to say it directly to camera?

How many? Yeah. No, it's actually pretty fun because everybody that hides theirs, it's like a big secret. Other people and brands try to find out how much a certain page has, but unless you put it public for one second, we have not put it public yet. No one will ever know.

I was speaking on a page and we're going to promote the hell out of this. Can you promote? What should we say?

What's your guys' Patron dropouts?

P atron. Com dropouts pod.

Guys, make sure to check out their Patron. Com dropouts pod where they post exclusive bonus episodes and also early access episodes. You also do have a private Discord. Hell yeah. And you also have a...

I don't know how to use it.

But yeah. Do you do live Q&A at all?

We still need to, but it.

Is promised. Do you know how to use a webcam? You know how to set.

It up? I know. What do you guys use for that?

It's Crowdcast, but it's shit. I think we have to find something else. Because a lot of people are unable to log on when we go live. So find something else. But you should do a live Q&A. That's always fun. Heath and I.

Do it once a month. How many patrons do you think that just got us? That little plug.

That? At least one.

I think 500. 500?

Maybe.

Right? I don't know. Okay. I think they're working with different numbers than us. So we got 500. We'd have a great month. That'd be a decent day.

But look, they're obviously sad. They're not getting any of you guys subscribing. So why don't you guys subscribe to ph. Com zain and heath?

What the hell? They probably already are. Oh, if you subscribe to them, you're dead to me. But also we're on one of their episodes, so you should. Yeah. We have a full episode. Zane won't let me clip it out, but.

It's on there. We got to have you guys on for... Well, we do drunk episodes. Oh, you do? Yeah.

You can't do it anymore.

You're on the fucking Zillow thing for the next five months.

Oh, yeah. No, I can't.

I could go on shrooms.

Okay, there we go. So you'll be shrooms and then the.

Rest of us will be drunk. I could honestly do... I could smoke too. Smoking isn't.

Zero calories.

Okay, yeah, you guys.

But.

Are you a munchies guy? Is that what.

You're worried about? No, that's not the problem. I think just I get so paranoid when I do that. But I think I could do it because it's not my own podcast. It's your guys' yeah. So I think it'll be easier for me to smoke and do someone else's podcast.

So if you want to see Xane have a panic attack, that's p atri on. Com dropouts pod. Anyway, let's move on from promoting and buy our merch. We always forget.

To say that.

I know. Is it cheap?

Get him a shirt. What do you want? Is it cheap quality? Do you want blue, red, or ote? Ote? He wants ote.

I forgot.

That we had. Wait, wait.

Let me see the.

Three hoodies. The options. They're not hoodies. They're not.

They're not.

They're going to afford hoodies. But they're nice. They're similar cut as the shirt you have on right now.

Thank you. Yeah. We've been doing things.

Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Hey, can you wear it and show it off? Like QVC?

Oh, get a different one, man. That one's...

Yeah, I'm sorry. Am I triple fucking AXL?

What is that? I was talking about the wrinkles. She's fired.

I'm also not extra extra small.

Come on. Is a large good?

Alyssa, hurry that ass up. Let's go.

She just said, I don't want to see his religion wear our shirts.

Actually, can you bring me an Excel and an L? And I feel like I can eye it.

Here we go.

That's not a size. But the size in your site says, you're a girl that just slept at a New Year's wedding. House and you had to leave with a shirt. That's what that shirt is.

One size fits all horses.

You're walking the camera and showing her?

Because you're a tiny girl, so I feel like it's very hard to see how big it actually is. Holy shit.

Here, Alyssa, stand over there.

Is this Excel or double Excel? That's large.

I feel like you're a large guy.

Yeah, large is great.

Actually good quality tees. Good job.

We don't make any money off them because we spent too much on the quality.

We broke the bank.

Excel would be perfect.

We don't have an Excel of anything. Large, you're large now.

I think large. I feel like it's going to shrink and then I'm going to have to donate it.

That's fine.

You know what? Can I take both? Yeah. Is that fine? They're probably so good. Wait, what size is this? I don't want to... It's okay. You probably need them.

That's a two XL. I definitely need the money.

But throw the red at her.

No.

No, no, no.

I was thinking about taking this and cutting the bottom. Go for it. Make it.

Like a... Workout shirt?

Yeah. Well, not crop crop, but like.

Cut it to the right size. 2023 sexy.

And we're in the month of June. June.

Are you an ally or do you hate? I'm a fucking ally. I was wondering.

Oh, my God. I love the gays.

Who's your favorite gay?

Jared.

Jared's a good one.

This is news to me.

Have you ever been canceled?

A little bit for.

The roast. Oh, yeah, because of you.

I didn't.

Do anything. Zane's like, Oh, make these Muslim jokes. I'm like, Are you sure these are okay? Get up there.

Wait, that's the thing. I don't understand why if I'm half Muslim, I'm half Arab, why is it not allowed for... If I say it's okay for you to make those jokes at me, why is it not allowed? Why are we having this conversation? This is good.

All right, back to how's your vaping going? I quit. And Zane was doing this. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Okay, wait, I want to show you guys something.

Here we go.

Alyssa, can you bring up the picture that I sent you? Okay. It's a chair. Nice. All right.

Guys, thank you for tuning.

Into another episode of ut There's no way this is our content, right? Hold on.

I thought this was really interesting.

Is this the end of it, the conversation? No.

Cool chair. I know fucking Matt Murphy got better treatment than this bullshit.

Oh.

Matt Riff? You gave him a chair to look at?

Hold on.

How much do you think that chair is worth?

If I were to make a guess, since you put it up, obviously it doesn't cost $20. So I'm going to make a guess and go high, really high. I'm going to say $7,000.

Okay. Zak?

Is this Where was it purchased at?

Facebook Marketplace.

And we're guessing how much the Facebook Marketplace purchase was?

I take it back.

How much do you think that chair cost?

Cost or.

It's worth? How much do you think the person bought.

That chair for? I take it back.

What do you think? What's your guess? Why are.

You guys making this so complicated? I take it back $58,000.

What's your guess, Zack? $85,000. Five to guess. Dude. Oh, dude.

If it's $2,000, this could be such a.

Lame assignment. He's just like, No, why did you guys overshoot it? Isn't that the worst when you're talking to somebody? Guess how long this happened today? And they're like, No, it was way less. And they're like, Oh, that's still a lot.

Jared, what's the price? Okay, so the story behind this.

Fucking chair. Who gives a fuck now?

There's a guy who bought.

It on Facebook Marketplace for 50 bucks. He restored it, and then it just went up for auction and it sold for $85,000. And Zach, I have a feeling you knew that story already because you pulled that number out of your ass.

Okay, I pulled it out of my brain. And the thing I gave you one of these we shared.

Wait, is.

That mine? Don't worry about what this is. That's fucking disgusting. Is that really bad? This is more disgusting. Oh, my God. I got another one. Good, good, good.

That's pretty good. $50 restored it. What did he do? Restored it to be like paint. Did he paint the loss it up?

Do you see where the cracks are in the seat? Those used to be gaping holes, though. And so he was able to like...

They're still fucking hold it. That's not restored.

That's super glue. But why is it worth that much?

That's the thing. I was scouring the comments to figure out why it was worth that much. The only thing I could find was that it was like, then made by a Danish furniture or whatever. But it went up for auction. Originally, it was saying it was going to get somewhere between...

Listen, we got to get.

Better segments. 35,000 and 50,000. And then it sold for 85,000. And I just thought it was ridiculous that.

Somebody tuned in next week when we do chair number two. Can you guess how much this costs? Musical chairs without the fun.

Hey, Jared, I enjoyed.

The segment. You actively said, Who cares?

I try to bring up something funny. All right, we're going back to the fucking Apple goggles.

Oh, yeah, those are cool. Do we ever finish?

No, we got.

Two things into it.

And then we.

Started talking.

About 9 11. I thought we got a 911.

Can.

You.

Please, on this on.

Your thumbnail, put the chair.

Guessing how much this chair costs for an hour. I think people would fucking... I think.

People would.

Just be so baffled by the thumbnail.

That they would watch it. I'm so sick of thumbnails. I don't know what people want anymore.

Dude, I hate it. Emma Chamberlain, man. Just fucking just put a thumbnail of one of your faces and just put.

A period. We're not charismatic.

I'm literally about to just use the YouTube auto generated whatever ones just because it's like you make them click baity people go, Oh, this is.

A fucking sick of click bait. It affects them. I can't believe I clicked this. They take.

It so personally. It's crazy. It's just to get people to watch.

This is our job. We just want someone to click and watch the video.

It would suck because you have to think about it because it's on your page. But one day I just want one of our episodes just to put a shitty fucking regular thumb down and just see how bad it does and just look at the difference between the two. Because if I haven't done it yet. I really would like to know.

Fuck it, let's do it on this one. Let's just upload it.

Yeah, because who gives a fuck about this episode? Who gives a fuck about Zane?

We'll just post a picture of you from this podcast. It'll be one of those freeze frames where you're in the middle of changing your face. You're like, this.

But you know what? That could look more emotional. People will be like, Oh, shit.

What the fuck is going on? What should we title it? Zane Hajazi. Just that. Zane Hajazi talks about a chair.

There we go.

He finally speaks. Just every thumb up, the guest finally speaks.

When they say nothing juicy, they finally reveal. It's like.

Oh, the disliked ratio is just horrible. It looks horrible. Just 100,000.

Dislikes and 2,000 likes. I don't know what to give these people anymore. They get so mad about the thumbnails.

Then you post a regular one that's not clickbaity. It just looks nice. Then nobody clicks on it because they're like, Why the fuck would I watch that?

That looks.

Boring as hell. But they'll never comment that. They'll never comment. Why are they not watching the fucking video? Why is there such a shitty thumbnail?

Wow.

This thumbnail click bait sucked.

But I'm here. Dude, Yeah, we got to get into this.

It's crazy. And the guy that does our thumbnails works so hard on that.

He does such a good job.

He does such a great job.

He does use Pink monkey?

I don't think so.

Still on the Pink monkey.

Can we do what Mr. Beast is doing? I heard he's making a lot of money.

What is he doing?

Saturation high.

We'll do a podcast. In this video, we're going to talk about 1 hour about a chair, and then we'll cut 30 different angles.

Yeah, we got to start getting like, handheld camera. So we're just like, moving around these.

There's other pockets that do that. They have like, moving cameras while the show is going on.

Well, those podcasts actually make money where they can hire camera guys. Yeah, that makes sense. We're not on that level.

Their podcast makes a.

Lot of money. I wonder, I want to try. I would love to try that for one episode just see what it looks like.

I think it would look great. It's Jordan behind it.

He's just constantly tripping.

No, he just leaves and doesn't realize he has a GoPro on him. He's just ordering Del Taco. Yeah, can I get a...

Dude, we'll be like, it will be like 45 minutes into an episode and somebody will be talking, saying a story. And then we just hear...

And.

We all just stop and we all look and he's still going. He doesn't realize we're in a hold stop. We're like, Jordan, what are you eating? And he's you're wrapping like a candy but he's right next to the mic. I'm like.

J ordan. Hold on, I'm getting a call. Who cares about this podcast? I'm going to call my mom. Everybody pipe down. Hey, mom. Where's my birthday present? Where's your what?

My birthday present. That is sad.

I bought your birthday present. It was in the mail. Well, it's not showing up at all and I would like them. What if it was just like, Hey, I'm so glad you got me a birthday present. It's not here yet. I was just wondering when it was getting there. No, I t's a little past due, dear. Okay. Did I tell you what happened with Jaren? What the fuck? No, it happened. He hooked up with that girl. Oh, he shouldn't have done that. I tried to say that. Well, too soon there, dear. But e always get stuck. He always, oh, whatever. Yeah, he always gets... He always... Oh, whatever. Yeah, he's the... He always what? Wait, he always what? Because then it's not as magical when you start that at the beginning. Exactly. That's why I always say if you're going to do it, you got to do it at Disneyland.

No, you can keep it interesting in the room.

Is that him in the background?

Yeah, that's him.

Well, we're going to have to have a little mother second son talk.

How about you mind your own business?

Whoa, did you hear him say that? He said, How would you mind your own business? I didn't sound like him.

Well, hey, can you leave me alone? I'm editing the best podcast in the world, saying he's unfiltered.

That's our friend, Zane, who's pretending to be Jared and being rude. I was going to say, I didn't sound like him at all. No, he's a very loving guy. He's actually half our culture. Anywho, honey, I love you. And where's my present? It's in the mail still. It's the shoes that you... This is the wrong mailing. I just want to make sure no one stole it. If they talked.

About it. That's why I got them. Oh, well, you got her shoes. You're a good son.

She texted me and said, I want.

These shoes. Okay, then you attach it with three other gifts. You don't just get her the fucking shoes. Yes. I love.

That.

Human. What shoes did he get you?

Armani. No, they're not like fancy ones. They're just white wear.

I'm sorry. What was that? Say it. She's so embarrassed to even say it. What brand of.

Shoes is it? Crocs.

No, they're n eels. Paler shoe source.

Don't worry. There's more stuff coming. Okay. Did you need to know one of my favorite jewelry people? Yeah. Who is it? Her name's Jess Mahari. All right, you text me that and I'll keep doing this podcast. All right. Well, anyway, I love you and I'm just teasing you. So have a good rest of the night. And where is Jared really? Are you across me? I'm here. Hey, Jared, do you know where to have some talk later? Yeah.

Can't believe Zak did that to me.

I can't believe you forgot her birthday. Yeah, Jared.

I remembered it. I remembered it the day before, forgot the day of and then remembered the day after.

That's going to be included in our talk.

Yeah, I know.

I saw I'm looking at pictures of you. I don't know. Anyway, I got to go. I love you. Bye.

I got to.

Upload snapshots. Robby texted me. He said, Just book to Manscaped. They're so happy with that. They want to wait in a full week to give the episode its full potential. Aaron has been sending out to everyone. He said it's one of the best ads he's seen 20 years in the business.

Hell yeah. Did you see our.

Manscaped ad? Did you see our Manscaped ad? Dude, I would love to see it. Play it. We're not even sponsored this week.

In 20 years, I got to see this.

Can you pull it up on the computer?

I'll.

Airdrop it to you.

No, you send it. No, I'll airdrop it to you.

I got it. That's how down our podcast is. Now, we're just reacting to the ads we did last week. Well, look at this ad read, man. I have to fucking see this. Who do you think is worse at ad reads? You or Zane?

Me for sure. Okay.

Do you read off the...

I have to read off the TV, but you guys are smart. You guys have the fucking teleprompter. So smart. And you wear sunglasses. Genius.

You wear sunglasses?

That's smart. I changed sunglasses every ad read to make it interesting.

We got to make... Okay.

You got to make more what?

Oh, yeah. Can you just be Zane and Heath? This podcast is brought to you by Zane and Heath on filter.

Can you give us a good rate?

What's a good?

500 bucks?

Jerry Smith?

Yeah.

Wait a second. Wait, you did a.

Whole like... Oh, dude, we did a full ask.

Sorry we care about.

Our sponsors. No, usually you don't see this on.

A podcast.

So why did you do it? Did they pay you all? Yeah.

No, well, this is...

How much did they.

Pay you? This is actually the potential to pay well. How much did they pay you? Okay, you tell me how much you make on Snapchat a month.

No, you tell me first and I'll tell you how much I make.

On Snapchat. Think you promise? I'll tell you. No, I know you won't. We've been in a relationship for 18 years and we haven't had sex once. You won't tell me why. Because I can't stand the bush. The what? The bush. Look at it. It's hideous. The bush has been with me my whole life. It's not easy to get rid of a bush, you know? Not with manscape. Is this a bush remover? The lawn mower 4.0. Manscaped's lawn mower.

4.0. Thank God you.

Caught that. Thank God.

We did that take six times. And each time she had no idea that she was saying it.

Like that. Toner and ball deoderant to make sure your go nads are ready when it's go time.

Is this a fucking doornaut? What's going on here?

I didn't get a piece of your goosh goosh? If you get rid of the bush. Come here.

Gooshy gooshy. First off, so unprofessional. That's your employee.

We have.

Sex off camera. And you're talking.

About her goosh gooshy.

Getting down on.

Her goosh gooshy. Would you not? Do you think she's not beautiful?

No, I'm not. Would you.

Have sex with her assistant? That's your employee. Would you have sex with her assistant? Did you have sex with her? Don't see it.

Dude, there's no way it just happened.

I'm pretty sure this happened last episode. You guys need to fucking tease it.

What's.

Wrong.

With me? Look at the.

Edge of this.

Dude, God, we need money. Sponsor us.

Are you just going to hold it? Yeah, we're almost done.

What time are we at? 1.02. Oh, gosh. Well, half of it was, cut that, cut that.

Cut that. Yeah, I know.

Half of what?

This.

Podcast. Well, I thought it was fun. I'd keep it all in. Well, except for some parts.

Except for all the parts you're like, I've got that.

Some of them are too bad. Okay, honestly, now that they like that, we could go even bigger.

You want to go bigger?

I want to hire a full crew. So we're just going to definitely lose money.

No, Zak, we can't keep losing money.

You lost money for this?

No, we did this all ourselves.

Yeah, I could tell. Hey, buddy. Better than a little ad.

Creative like me. I thought you guys, this is how you got us to go production crew for this.

I'm like, no, you.

Did it. Excuse me. I had a fucking.

Boom mic and everything. Use the code the dropouts for 20 % off manscaped for last week's ad, but it still applies.

That's good. I love that. You guys are hard workers.

Fuck, dude. When you have.

A transformer. How he wasn't impressed by that at all. It was better than that.

No, I'm impressed.

That you guys are speaking to the mic.

Sorry, your mic keeps fucking going up and down. I don't even know what it did.

We.

Say speak into the mic. He's literally holding the fucking order.

I.

Was impressed that you left the podcast studio and you did a whole thing. Yeah. Heath and I have a few times thought of an idea to do a commercial like this, but we.

Were like... They're going to steal it.

No, I swear. No, I swear. Ask Heath. I swear.

I swear. And we were going to have a successful podcast now we can't.

No. Now I get to see somebody doing it and it's reminding me to never do that on my podcast show. So I really appreciate you guys showing me this today. No, I'm kidding. The people are really liked it. No, I thought it was hilarious. I really.

Liked it. You noticed how he didn't laugh once?

I was.

Smiling the whole time. Smiling means I'm enjoying it. Not a big deal. I'm going to call my mom back.

I also didn't want to laugh because I know the audio is playing and I didn't want my laugh to go over because I laugh very loud. I didn't want people having to rewind and be like, I can fucking hear what...

Do you ever get emails from brands that are just from another country or something? It's like, If you work with us, we'll give you 16 bucks.

Right now. Oh, no, I go, I get, Hello, dear.

Hello, dear.

Hello, sweetheart. Unprofessional.

That's fucking weird. You can tell they're using an automatic generator. It's like, We've been watching at the dropouts podcast.

At the Dropouts is a different font. It was just the same.

It's like I talicized.

The last episode was so good. We loved what you guys did. We love.

What.

You guys did. It's like, you mean the one where I talked about of bearing my grandfather? It was so upbeat. This guy's here.

What is that Prata sign? The arrow just throws me off.

You know what throws me off? You're speaking out of your... He's like.

What is the...

Fuck.

It, dude. Change your.

Fucking mind. Dude. The Lollipop Guild. I don't know why that came to my mind.

To be fair, that is our fault.

I want you...

Imagine, do you.

Have the rock on?

I'd end it all at that point.

Who's the biggest guest you guys have had?

The biggest kiss? Guest. Oh, guest.

Anywhere it's like, I can't believe we got them.

I wouldn't say she's big. I would say, Whoa, Vik, you was pretty... We didn't think we'd get into contact with her. I was surprised. She was on one of her best episodes. It was so fucking funny. Josh Peck was like, Oh, cool. He's a friend, too. So that was like, it wasn't surprising. I can't think of all the guests right now.

Who's.

Our biggest guest? Everybody was just friends. Everybody was friends. Nothing was a shocker, I would say.

How do we get to the next level of A list Brad Pitt?

Sometimes I feel people don't take our show seriously. That's why.

That's what I'm saying.

I don't know.

I feel you just need to get one to get your foot in the door. And then from there, other people are more willing to take a chance on you.

Because you have names like name drop. Because every time a podcast will reach out and I always look at the names that they've had on the show. And if I recognize them, then I'm like, Oh, I clicked the channel. But if I don't recognize any of the names, I don't even bother clicking the channel, which is really bad. But it's just a quick thing that I do.

The mic is in front of my face. It's probably not a good look for us trying to get guests.

Absolutely. Oh, no, you don't put this in the.

Fucking.

Thumbnail. I'm just like.

Zane Hajazi breaks our set. 2018 VLOG squad doesn't know how to...

Wait, no, I got a thumbnail for you. Ease out the click away.

Why would people click on that?

Because I'm so angry because you guys exposed me for something.

Okay. We need something at the very beginning. Okay, we'll script something. I just don't think I can do X and heath and filter anymore. It's just really stressful and taking my time to do that, but really serious and we'll keep it at the front. Go ahead. Wait, no, you can't hold the mic like that.

I just.

Don't think so. Hold on.

Oh, my God. This is such a...

Hold on, Jerry. Which way is it?

It's that way and then you got to spin it.

Holy fuck. Yeah, just hold it up.

No, this is like this.

I think this is my audition.

You ready for your Oscar? He's got.

To be straight. Sorry. Okay, look straight in there so we can get the good thumbnail. There we go.

We are not.

Keeping all those in place. That's all being kept in. All right, ready? Okay. 20th of...

I just don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

Okay, too quick of the... He goes, I don't think I do the podcast anymore.

I just don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

Xane and Eeth?

Why do I have to say that? That's fucking weird if I say Xane and Eeth.

I said it. No, I was like, I was talking to you about it.

Yeah, the only.

Podcast I'm on.

We just need the intro.

I don't want to put it down.

I just don't think I...

Hold on.

Okay, move it closer.

Shut up.

I'm trying to be serious. Yeah, dude.

I just don't think I could do the Zane and Heath unfilters podcast. Is that what you want me to say? No. You sound.

Fucking dumb. No. Can you.

Say, I just don't think I can do the podcast anymore. And he goes, Zane and Heath confirming?

I was just confirming it like I was just doing an interview. Yeah, I got it. Okay. So it's just like, I don't think I can do the podcast.

I just don't think I can do that.

You look too casual. You got to look... You're disheveled.

I just don't think I could do the podcast on YouTube. Com.

Wait, Jared, why? Wait, okay.

Just go off of what he says.

I.

Said why?

You said you said... Oh, come on. You're really going to use this thumb, though? This is why they're pissed. This is why they're angry. Look what we're doing.

Right now. Hold on, let me attach it to mine.

Fuck.

I just don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

Oh, it's all right, man.

I thought you're going to say X and heath. X and heath. That was fucking stupid. That was the whole point. So you can say X and Heath.

You ready? Okay. I just don't think I can do the podcast anymore. I get what you mean, man. It's tough to talk every week and act like it's a job.

I just don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

Zane and Heath? Hey, I nailed it. Don't act like I did anything.

That was bad. I didn't like your. My acting was good.

I don't like to have to hold it up on this side.

People are going to see that in.

That show. I just don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

Zane and Heath? Is it because it's unfiltered? Fuck him.

Dude.

He wipes it with the boom mic. I just.

Don't think I could do the podcast anymore.

See, Ethan Filter? You just throw up.

Let's pack it.

Up, too. All right, we're done.

Okay. Let's pack up this studio.

I think there's a lot of time. If that's not a sign.

Thank you guys for staying till the end. Things.

No, wait. Okay. So how much more do you have? Do you have to talk about?

No. Do we have anything to talk about to begin with?

No. Well, every time I brought something up, it got shot down.

You brought up the chair thing, and that really threw us for a loop. We were mad. We were ticked off.

Realistically, how long is this episode?

Probably.

An hour, 50 minutes.

An.

Hour, 50? No, like 50 minutes to an hour.

Is that good?

Yeah. Is that normal? Yeah. That's good. Yeah. We don't record for two and a half hours. Hours like you guys.

This is why they record for so long because they're doing stuff like this. Yeah. Keep going. How's the VLOG Squad? How's Karina?

How's Karina?

Her tits, I don't know. Amazing. Nice. You saw them in real life?

Yeah. Oh, I'm a subscriber. Only fans, obviously.

I'm not subscribed. Do you get a lot of good stuff for that bang for your buck?

It's weird because my best friend is her ex, but I don't know. I think.

It's like... Is he subscribed?

I don't think so.

You should just say no.

I did.

That one more time.

Is he subscribed?

Well, I have an account, so why would he need to make one?

Because you can just look it.

Off your desk. That's so much worse than I.

Don't think so. Let me try it again. Is he subscribed?

To Karina's OnlyFans? Yes. Are you red herring me?

Question? Ever since you made generational wealth from Snapchat, do you now want to do the podcast anymore? Because that money means nothing to you?

No, I wouldn't say podcast or Snapchat is my main source of income. Absolutely not. Podcast is definitely my source of income.

Okay, so now we have a barometer of how much you make.

No, podcast is.

Always a blur. Do you make more or less than that chair's worth a month? Let's cut to a clip. It's just saying. Let's cut to a.

Screenshot of his bank account.

Oh, this.

I know how much you guys want to hear.

Do you want to hear a fun fact? We like to tell every guest to get a reaction. Alyssa makes more a month than Jared does.

Yes.

Boss girl shit. As she should. That's why she doesn't take Jared seriously. Jared will be like, Hey, can you get me an acai bowl? And Alyssa will, I think you queefed at him one time. I don't even know what.

That meant. I would, just a little.

Make.

It yourself.

Jared doesn't, I don't know, ask me to do that. Who does?

I feel like I don't ask you to do a lot of things.

That.

I probably should. I know a few things they ask you to do, climb into fucking bed and do a sex skit.

They did. Okay, we had sex after the skit. No, I need to say no. Why? Because your mom watches this? Well, yes, but no.

We didn't. For legal purposes.

What's the legal purposes? It's consensual.

If something were to ever happen, the amount of evidence that the internet has is just...

They can make a documentary out of it. The amount of evidence she has in her of my DNA, we're good enough on that. Jesus. Here we go. Zach, you can't blow a load on your own sister. Come on, we're in the 50s. Not true. Not true that I didn't? What?

No, we've never... She's tammering.

She's lying. She's tammering. No, because I don't do good with double negatives and grammar and stuff. I'm positive we slept together.

Just say he didn't blow a load in you.

God, when you say it, it is striking. In my mind, it's like a funny goofy time. We're in a carnival. When you say it's like you've said it while you're prying over someone before, holding them in a chokehold.

No, I'm getting jail time vibes on here. You say that. No, you.

Both of them. Whoa. You just lost them? Both of them? You just lost next month's pay. I haven't even gotten paid for the whole last month. I did pay you. Did we not pay her?

I paid her.

What the fuck was that? I love how dark it is over there. Imagine there's a camera on her. People want to... Should we get a little cam just on the desk?

Yeah, do an iPhone camera or something. Or just like a... Not like a...

She doesn't deserve that. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get her a cheap webcam.

Are we going to end this thing? I've been trying to end it for so long. I only kept going because he made a bit out of it. Thank you guys so much for listening and watching and staying until the end. If you don't subscribe to your Patri on, I'll hold your mouth open and I'll dis member you. Don't laugh. We're trying to get to 2,000 patrons this month. That is our goal.

Remember when I said 500? That went down to maybe 50.

Yeah, we're not good at converting. That's good.

We could do a Patri on collab.

What does that mean?

I come on you, you come on me.

I'll do anything. We were already Can you go back to the episode we're already in and edit, go subscribe to their Patron? Yeah. Cool. With all the.

Features they.

Have on them. We don't have to. We want to reshoot. We got a lot of new content on there of... Actually, I can't even spoil it. Just go on there and it's... Wait, what if we did a Patron swap? Because I don't think it would make sense of your wise if we did a complete podcast swap. We could do a patron swap.

What are you going to do with your earnings from Patriot?

Probably pay rent.

Yeah, rent would be nice. You guys can always donate to us. We're like a charity.

That's it. I'm getting new fucking tables.

We don't donate to people that.

Don't work hard. We almost did. How many times do we try to end this? Bye. Oh, wait, no. If you stay till the end, give me a picture of Zane from 2017. All right.

Hit the outtro.

That's.

Creepy. Come on. What? My Spank bank is getting low. Melissa, everything we said today was a joke. I would never have sex with you. Thank you. Well, that sounds mean.

Too late. You don't know what she's on on that computer already. She's probably recording.

Everything is ready. Everything's already recorded. We're on a podcast.