Look me in the eyes. You want to hear something? We're going to New York City, the Big Apple. You thought worms were just an apple? No, we are too. We're doing a live podcast, July 27th. The one in LA, we were able to sell out and have an absolute great time. So if you want prizes, if you want to come watch some fun games, if you want to potentially come on the stage with us, meet us, pictures, we'll have merch there, it's going to be honestly a really good time. We just want a venue where we can all come together and just connect in a different way than the internet lets us. Physical one on one. What are we, from the 30s? Anyway, link in the description, come to the New York Show. And if you don't, I'll drag your skull across the gravel ground until we see a little bit of brain. If you know what I mean, I'm threatening. Right, J arred?

Yeah, that was a little terrifying.

I'm going to the show. Well, good.

Have you guys thought about washing this carpet?

Speak when spoken to. What's up, guys? Welcome to Episode 156 of Dropout. Stay woo when spoken to, all right?

Sorry, put the.

Party hat down. Happy birthday, Jared.

Thank you.

Happy birthday to you.

I forgot.

That you're an actual singer. Thank you.

A cappella. Wait, how old are you?

25.

Fuck. God. What does youth feel like?

You're.

Kidding? No, 25.

You're going to be 25?

Yeah, going to be 25. So I'm 24 right now.

Your balls even dropped.

Be.

Honest. Okay, all right. Trust me. Then tell me what you think 25 is going to bring you.

A lot of happiness and success, definitely. Okay. What's it actually going.

To.

Be? That.

A girlfriend, a boyfriend.

Your birthday is in June. It all adds up.

What does that make you? What's your sign?

Okay.

I actually.

Don't really Welcome back to Wild 'S till Nine. I'm not.

That into it, but I feel like the people want to know.

So I'm a Gemini, but.

I'm the very I.

See that. But I'm the very last day of Gemini, which means I'm a cusp. I'm a Cancer cusp.

Oh, what's your make a wish?

Zach. Oh, I'm.

Right here then. Perfect. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Hit some intro music, and then we'll... We got to announce them as part of the thing, Jerry. Jeremy and Lauren from Wild till Nine. In that order. Can I say something? What's up, buddy? Last time you guys were on here was I didn't know your name was Lauren.

First name, Laura. Last name, DIY.

Yeah. I was like, I was like, Laurie?

Yeah. No, people go like one of three, Laura, Lauren, Laurie.

I don't know if I did it, but I'm sure I did something around around the thing of like, Oh, introduce yourself.

It's okay. Jason Nasch's assistant fully put Laura DIY in the title of our last podcast. Oh, Laura. Knew my middle name, knew my Japanese middle name, but didn't know my first name.

Well, Kobe Ashi just rings up.

The tongue. Yeah, exactly. Sorry, you're doing better than that. What is it? Kobe Ashi.

Kobe.

Ashi. So mad at you.

You can tell that guys put so much effort into these things when a Google would.

Take three seconds. Hang on, I think Zak.

Wants to be racist.

Really quick. Go ahead. Okay, go ahead. Okay. My bad.

Sorry. All I said was I was mad at you.

Back to you guys.

Why are you mad at her?

What is that?

Pearl Harbor.

There.

It is.

I knew there was something racist coming.

How is that racist? If anything is patriotic. Did you want.

To know, baby? Did you want to take the opportunity to talk about how your grandparents were born in an internment camp in Canada and were put through decades of strife because of the things that happened in America that were outside of their control?

Aren't you Canadian?

This is.

A really great gridley. No. I'm so glad that we could take the time to platform this. Thank you.

At least you said this to somebody that's actually like, Japanese. He did this to Bobby Lee, and Bobby, he's like, I'm Korean motherfucker.

Did he.

Have any insight? I got barbecued.

Any insight from him?

He did apologize, I'm pretty sure. Regardless.

He apologized for you.

For you on behalf of...

I mean, it's not as an ethnic thing as a whole.

Thanks for having us back.

This is a great start, you guys. I'm so glad we can start with.

This is Jared's birthday. Can you guys just lead the way? Happy... No, sorry. Just questions and stuff like the podcast in general. Oh, I feel like you.

Did this last episode with Zane where you were just like, You have a podcast, so why don't you interview us?

Isn't that the best?

Yeah, do that. Kind of.

This is going to go both ways. I just want you both to know that when you come on our podcast in a couple of weeks, we'll just.

Call you. Did I tell you.

That was not the in the back? No, you didn't.

Nice. Suddenly, oh, Jerry.

He doesn't tell me anything. I sent you a calendar invite. I thought that was for this one.

So Jared's just down here and we just started recording. He's like, Oh, sick. How are you guys? Hey guys.

Listen, I'm just now learning how to use Google calendar, okay? I'm trying to get my shit together. Have you.

Ever had a.

Real job?

Donato's Pizza in Ohio.

Yeah, ever heard of it?

Ever heard of B class pizza?

Haven't but be interested in trying?

Ever heard of Banana Republic?

Yes.

Worked there.

In college. Did you get fired from Banana Republic? Were you too nice or something?

No. What discount are we talking?

50 %. Get the fuck out of here. Dude, it was nice. And that applied to GAAP and Old Navy and all of them.

Because that's sick.

I know. Hey, if you wanted cheap jeans, it was.

The bomb. You were decked out for fourth of July just.

Button ups.

Oh, yeah. I mean, in college, if I had 50 % off at Atlanta Republic, I still couldn't afford it.

But it would have been cool. But I used that on the.

Sale section.

You can double down. Yeah, you can double down. Wow. I know it was nice.

Deep discount shopping.

Yeah. Cool. I got a leather jacket that's normally like 200 bucks. It went on sale for 40 % off. Use another 50 % off. It was like...

That's all the time we've got for today. But you guys...

We did that same thing last episode. He brought run up a chair and asked us how much do you think it costs?

People really like that.

Jared, that's like having a cousin that just doesn't read real well, if you know what I mean? Real well? Babing them a little bit. That's what the comments section does to you, okay?

All right, that's rude.

Like, drew carry prices, right?

Yeah.

Was there a story where you got fired from Banana Republic? I could have sworn we talked about this.

But if there was.

What would have happened?

No, never. I was a great employee there.

Didn't you pin the assistant manager down and said, I'm better show your Republic this banana. Jesus. Or is that somebody else? That was somebody else.

Something pressure wise is going.

Up my asshole.

Hello. That's handsome. We're getting a new couch because he's effectively chewed a.

Hole through the bottom of it. Not a problem.

I just want to know, handsome is coming in from the bottom. Yeah.

Pride, you're a bottom.

No, he's good. I just want to make sure you guys are good with him being.

Under there. He's like, I would love to not be moved. All right, guys.

I'll see you all later. Can we get a thought in the comments below on whether or not the ball should stay? Because I'd love to get everybody else's opinion on your parenting.

I don't know. They're just so fun to throw around when you're bored. That's where we're going. A built in fidget spinner.

Spinner. Never thought about it like that.

And if you twist him, he makes a sound. What's up, Jared?

Are you talking about.

Hanson's balls? Okay, dude, don't come in hot. We are talking about very wholesome stuff, like good job at the marriage stuff. We have to talk about it. I know.

There are... I know. The last time you guys were on, you were just boyfriend and girlfriend. Really? Yeah. And now you guys are officially.

Wait, what date was this?

The last time, November eighth.

Oh, shit. So you would have been... That would have been...

No, because I remember I knew that I wasn't working at my job anymore.

Because.

You're going to talk about it. I couldn't talk about it. As far as everyone's concerned, we're still waiting on that. And you'll never hear. And then I was planning on the whole thing. That actually was the same time.

Well, I remember we were like, Hey, let's all go to Kentucky to watch a game together.

We did. And then you're.

Like, Oh, you guys went. And you're like, Oh, wait, I'm engaged. I'm getting down on one knee.

Actually, what's funny is I bought some nonrefundable ticket to one of those things that just never happened.

Oh, yeah. Didn't you buy a flight? Yeah.

You bought a whole flight and then didn't go?

I was down to go to Kentucky. I just forgot I was.

Getting a game. Oh, my gosh. That's nice, Jared. Ring.

I can't see the ring.

It's.

Actually very nice. Oh, my God. That's beautiful. Okay, so walk us through the story of how you did it, because I remember seeing the pictures and it's beautiful.

Gas lit, gas lit, lie, lie, lie. Broped in friends, made them lie. Broped in family, made them lie. And then listen to the Lauren think that she was on to things. She's like, Well, I know it's not going to happen because this person could never lie, and this person could never keep a secret, and this person keep a secret. That's handsome.

Damn it. That's handsome? Yeah. I was like, Is.

Elizabeth pounding the sound effects.

Of like... Is he okay?

Yeah.

We've gotten.

Real weird on this show. He does great impressions.

Of you. Oh, my God. That's fucking adorable. Yeah. And then we made it happen in Malibu.

Okay. Hold on.

I'm too distracted.

They're just so distracted. I literally didn't hear.

Anything you said. For the people that couldn't hear, our dog, Handsome, was letting us know verbally that he didn't.

Want to be in his crate. He is not interested.

In being in his crate. I love that Zach uses the proverbial our, we. It's a group thing.

It's all of our dog. I mean, if you guys want to take him off our hands.

No, I take them for hour long sessions.

What about week to year?

No, I don't think so. We're good on dumb dogs. We're at capacity.

Got you. How are.

The.

Thick twins? Expensive. The thick twins.

What are their.

Names, Zak? Could we get that.

Handle on Instagram?

Hang on, let me tell them. Let's see.

Go ahead. What are their names?

You think I don't know? You want to put a place of bet.

On it? No, I don't want to place a bet, but I saw you fumbling and then you came.

Up with thick twins. No, I would never fumble. Diggy and Moose. There we go. I didn't know your name, but your dog is like, I.

Got it locked down. That's me and everyone in my neighborhood as well, too. I know all the dogs. Good. Good. Good. None of the people. I understand.

God, I'm so happy for you guys to spending eternal life together.

Thank you.

Yeah, man. Can we talk about anything else? Oh, we got a newlywed game, huh? So Jared and I talked about us knowing each other better than you two, even though you guys are going to spend the rest of your lives together. So this is a little bit of a challenge. Isn't that right, Alyssa? Sexy, Alyssa? How are you feeling?

So good. Is there an HR counter we could just ding?

No, she's HR.

It would be off the charts if we had a counter.

I've got a great lawyer. You will be set up for life. Just wait till one of them does something well.

Then we'll talk. I also work with him.

I feel like this feels like a conflict of interest.

It'll be a separate.

Lawyer, don't worry. I can give you his number.

He makes the intro. Hey, this is the person you'll be working with.

Oh, ready.

Were we supposed to do the presentation?

Yeah, I think so.

I'm doing the presentation?

Maybe. I thought, you know. Okay. If you'd like. I figured we'd pay you to do something. I don't know if... If you don't want to, of course.

When are we.

Going to start rolling? What's up, guys? Welcome to episode 156. Okay.

Okay, so this is the newlywed game. So basically, I'm going to ask you.

Guys questions. Can you say it again like you're Christopher Walken?

Was I speaking weird?

No, he just.

Wants you to do.

A funny impression. I don't know how to do that. Okay, so I'm going to ask you guys questions and you are going to have to an answer for your partner, basically, who.

Knows who better. How long have you guys known each other again?

Four years, but a few more than a.

Half.

Years.

Basically, we have a podcast that's been going about three years. You guys have a podcast three years.

I feel like this is even playing ground.

You sleep in the same bed? You guys sleep in the same bed? We also sleep in an eight sleep because you recommended it. Isn't it great? Did you really? I don't know where our podcast sponsor is, but that thing is amazing. It's transformative now. Zach Justice is the reason that I'm comfortable at night.

Oh, my God. I'm going to clip that and we got send that to sleep.

It honestly is the best system. You got to get one. You got to get one. Sometimes at night you just feel good. I forgot that we weren't getting paid. Hey, baby girl, you're going to point at whoever you.

Want to answer.

Hr. Hr. It's HR and she loves it. Hr. What are we going to say that we're just shacking up? We're not. But you won for the right amount of cash. Okay, ready?

Yes. You and Lauren want to go first? Yeah.

I thought you'd be the first thing that I had to be his partner. And I was like, Oh, we are fucked.

Jared, we've got this.

We're.

Locked in over here. Me and L'Oreal?

I mean, come on. So do we write our answer down? How do we not cheat?

We didn't think of that.

We didn't think about that one.

Listen, you said three years of this podcast?

Listen, we don't know how we got here.

Everybody get out their notes app. No, no, no, no, no.

What's the thing you do with the club when you want to show someone something? Snapchat? The DJ? Is that on Snapchat that people do that? I think so. What are the.

Kids doing? What are the kids doing? What are the youths?

Any other app that I don't have to download?

Paper and markers.

Great. Love it. You weren't prepared the whole time. You were gaslighting us.

You're going to have to share the markers.

That's all good. Guys, three years in, this is going really well.

We'll be like V oooming in another week. That's what the people want. They don't want to watch people that are pretty and polished.

No. Yeah. Hold on.

Wait here. Zach and I are going first. Can we just...

Can I have the better marker, please?

I'll take.

The good one.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Zach, you struck me as a guy who's got nice hand ready.

He.

Does?

Let's just say I write like a schizophrenia... No, no, no, no. Sorry. Hey, John.

Wait, wait, wait. Pause. Stop, stop, stop. Did we finally hit the Let's Try That Again for Zach?

Yeah, because I meant to say... God, what's the one where you shake a lot? Michael J. Fox has got it.

We.

Finally found the limit. Oh, Parkinson's. I feel like I write like I have Parkinson's and I'm also twerking at the same time. Okay, great.

That's very vivid. I love the imagery.

The depth. Okay, so everybody's...

It's all.

About inclusion. So you guys will write your answers to make sure that when they write their answers, it's correct.

Should we write ours and then they tell us, right? Since we're the ones that need to write.

It down. You guys are good. Yeah. There you go, Jerry.

Don't cut this. This is where the good stuff is. This is where that retention really starts to uptick.

Oh, Jerry, that's what people have been saying. I'm working on retention. Stay until the end. We'll all say our favorite slur.

That was a good was a great crunch. I saw that.

Thank you. Listen, we go to the same gym. We're putting in work.

I'm sorry. You're going to Equinox now?

Hell no, I'm not going to Equinox. My broadcast goes to the LA Fitness.

Down the street. That's the LA Fitness that I go to sometimes.

Oh, you have two.

Gym.

Memberships. I don't have that much money. She has two gym memberships.

Oh, well, now I feel worse about myself.

Got it. Sorry. The whole.

Blood is what goes.

To the Equinox. That was an honest mistake.

Okay. All right. What's the first question?

The first question is, what is your partner's worst habit?

So Jared's writing down his worst habit, and then I got to say it? Yeah.

Babe, we already know this.

I don't know what my worst habit is.

I've.

Got a lot of.

Bad ones. Well, I'm trying to think the way that.

You got to think how I would think. Yeah, you got to think like your partner.

Yeah, I think I was your worst habit. I have it. I'm ready. You just just starts crying.

How are you already ready?

Dude, this is so easy.

I don't know if this is what you're going to say, but this is what I wrote down. All right.

Babe, you want to go first?

Yeah. Ready? Yeah, I'd love to go. Is it socks on the couch?

Living socks everywhere. Wow.

Thank you. Because you can't wear shoes in your home, so they fall.

Off so easily. Exactly.

Asian household. Asian household shoes off of the door, but then socks are just everywhere.

Is it nice to walk in this home and be like, I don't have to take these off?

Kind of. I look at this rug and I'm like.

This feels like my room.

This is exactly why.

I feel like it's cleaner if I keep my shoes on while touching this rug.

Yeah, you don't want to.

Go barefoot on this. Was this white ever white?

Oh, yeah. It was glowing when we first.

Got it. Wow, impressive. But like 2023, white's not in so we changed it. Jesus. For you, three. Okay, so I wouldn't say this is a habit, but what I would have said is your breathing. All right. But then I realized though.

Just existing is your.

Worst habit.

What the fuck was that? Well, he likes to do this thing. All right. I have a fucked up nose. I have a deviated septum, probably. I haven't gotten it diagnosed.

Does dropouts not provide you health care?

I was.

Going to say.

What the hell? No. They got it. You asked me and then I go. Wait, you're a child. You should still be on your.

Parents' health care now. They fucked me over and retired early.

They booted.

You off. Jerry, don't speak bad about lesbians in this month.

Yeah, this is their month.

I know it's your birthday, but.

It's not your month. That was insensitive of me.

25 now. No one cares about your birthday. Everyone cares about lesbians.

So much that they planned their wedding on his birthday.

Oh, yeah. So it'll also be my parents' anniversary on my birthday.

That's right. I think I married after he was born, so it just makes... Well, after I was born. They didn't care about him at all. His I'm going to go to communication skills.

Fuck, I was going to write that. I didn't know if that was a.

Habit or not. I wrote dishes. You guys have the rule.

You can't.

Eat until you've done the.

Dishes, right? Ever since we got an assistant, we leave him in.

The sink. You guys are that people.

We're boogie. Actually, I don't really.

Use dishes. Well, yeah, Zach, I can't remember the last time Zach has actually cooked something.

Right, and used a plate. We are more similar than I anticipated. Yeah, sorry.

O1?

O1.

Why don't you guys keep doing it.

And then we'll flip? Yeah, and then we'll flip. Okay. Such a good call.

Okay, next question. If your house was on fire, what is one thing your spouse grabs before leaving?

Yes. You're writing it on the same paper.

No, I'm.

Going to I definitely.

Should do that. This is going to be a bonus point. I'm going to say number one, and I'm also going to say number two.

Should I give two?

Oh, no. By the way, if either one of them are incorrect, I think we have to give up points. But if they're both correct, we get two points. But I'm willing to put.

It on the line. Oh, that's a good wager. So the pressure.

Is on for you. There's no question what the most important things to her in that house are.

Should we wager that? We would go into the negative.

Put down 45 things. We can hedge our bets here.

Should I put down the second one?

Yeah, put down the second one. Go crazy. Yeah, go crazy, Daddy.

All right, Zack, if you get this wrong, we're going negative. I hope you know that. And they'll be up 3 0.

I'm positive we're going to go negative.

Okay. Jeremy just wrote there, written a lot. I'm blocking in final answer, Moose and Diggy.

But then I put the dogs as one. And then you put a second thing. So obvious, Lauren. We're going to lose our point if we don't get this.

I have to get both? I thought if I just get.

One wrong. That was the part of the wager.

So you don't want to say the second one?

I wasn't listening.

So you don't want to say the second one?

Maybe I don't want to.

Say the second one. Okay.

But do we lose both points?

No, we wouldn't lose the second one. We get one point. Yeah. We get one point. I think you'll get the second one if you guess it.

I don't think I will. I'm like trying.

All right, well, Pups, that was one.

All right.

Wait, what was the second one? A childhood blanket.

That's cute.

Yes, of course. Sentimental value.

More than your. Okay. Hansonman and your computer?

Nailed it.

You guys were tied.

Two to two. Wait, why was your computer over Handsome?

No particular order.

He.

Wrote one first.

Alphabetical order.

Alphabetical order. You wrote one first.

Yeah, I wrote Handsome first.

By the way, is the computer that irreplaceable?

He doesn't know how to back things up.

I do know how to back things up.

I just don't. Trust me, I've.

Seen you back it up. I feel the exact same way.

My entire life is on that computer and I really need it.

You're the type of person who, without question, is smart enough to do better Oh, yeah. And lazy enough not to.

Yeah. You should see him respond to work emails. That's another time out, sweetie.

All right, three. We're tied up.

Oh, man. So we'll do five? Five for them and.

Five for us.

Isn't this fun? Games? My mom just tried to call me. I'm not going to answer. What a fuck is this?

But if your dad tried to call.

You.

Wouldn't. Okay, next.

What app on their phone does your spouse spend the most.

Time on? Pornhub does have an app, right? So I have to go look. Yeah. Oh, I guess this is an answer that you can look up.

No fucking cheating, Jared.

I was already writing one down. Let's see if I was.

Right for myself. Okay, well, messages is usually the top answer, I think, for a lot.

Of them.

Lauren, who do you think I'm talking to? It's definitely not messages for me.

Yours would be Hinge if you didn't delete it because you got sad.

What is the... You guys have a coupon code for Grinder?

Yeah. What's our code? Justice10? Dropouts heavy. Yeah, you get 10 winners for the price of.

Six or something. Ten? It's a fucking steal. Yeah. Do you know.

What the tab is?

I was right. Yours is easy. Are we on an even playing field right now?

Yeah, 3 3.

Wait, no, we have two. Two, two.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I knew the whole time it was who two, but I would never call you out because I don't believe women should...

Got.

It. Yeah. Amen, sister. Amen, sister to you.

I'm not giving you hints. We're not cheating here. We don't need to. Come on, you're engaged. They go first. How about that?

Okay. Youtube.

Nailed it.

Stop you, silly goose. He can't do anything else without having something else playing in the background.

Gen Z.

Oh, my God. You can't be alone with your thoughts. I just saw TikTok this other day.

Look at the way he smiles.

He goes.

Uh, no thoughts.

Once people stop talking here, he's like, Oh, gosh.

Too much silence. Wait, hold on.

I'm just focusing on handsome man.

I know it's just handsome screaming. Okay, babe.

Don't overthink it.

Instagram.

So are we counting messages? Because Instagram is number two, messages.

Is number one. I think they make it two points.

I would say that it's the number one app on your phone. Was that the question?

I think it's fair.

We lost that. I think.

You're a loser. Which is a little sad because you literally said, I'm sure they'll be messages. Fuck. No one.

Answered me if it was going to be a legit one. Okay, go.

I can't say yes. You should say yes. You should say the best.

I feel like they wouldn't have.

Caught it. No offense. Is this your merch? Yes.

Buy it. No, no, no. Discontinue.

Discontinue. Don't buy it. Don't you dare buy it.

There's a recall. Advertise our merch.

We don't even have merch.

You're literally wearing it. That is a nice shirt.

I was going to say, do you guys have merch for us?

Yes, depends what size are you? Excel? Okay, I think we have some of those.

Do we actually have Excel or we only have two Excel? Let me check.

How do we put that.

Shit on right now? Shopdropouts. Com. Shop it.

Dropouts.

Com? Shopdropouts. Com. Again, we don't make pretty much any money because the quality is so good.

Oh, my God. This was my high school colors.

This is a nice shirt. My high school color as well. That's why I went with it.

Also my high school color.

Shut the fuck up, really.

Okay.

We just stopped talking. Wow.

This is really nice. How much does this cost?

30.

Maybe. How much it costs you to make?

Like 20 or something.

It's.

Ridiculous. I was going to say.

This is nice. Yeah, it's a little too nice, but whatever. We'll make money laundering. Next year. Laundering. Yeah, we'll make money with drugs. We make our money with drugs. Oh, that looks great. She got one, too, so don't act too special.

She's not really a dropout.

That's true. I do have.

A degree. It's okay. So do I.

Where are my dropouts? What? Why aren't we doing this pod together?

Well, I think you want to.

Switch.

Podcast? No, we'll be doing a new one called Just Basterds.

I do want all of our podcast friends to get together and we all switch podcast one time where it just uploads in one day. It's like, what in the hell? A lot of people will be mad.

They're like, I don't want this. Depending on who.

You got. But then they'll realize you can just click the link and they're still going to podcast on the other one. Okay, we got to get somebody that gets more views than us. When they're on ours, we'll get more views. But when we're on theirs, tank's there. So then we.

Go up in the rankings.

All right, what's the next one? We got two more for these sweet lads. Okay.

What is something that always makes your spouse cry?

Literally anything. Name.

Also existing.

While he's writing down, if you want to see these two make love on video, subscribe to our Patrion right now at Patrion. Dude, what is it?

P atrian.

Com dropouts pod. It'll be in the link. We're trying to get to 100,000 patrons this month. So if you guys can help us do that, we're going to have.

Generational wealth. What do we have? How many patrons?200.

300.

400. Wait, we're.

Trying to get to what? 100,000 patrons.

Oh, okay. I have five bucks a month. Trust, dude, if we're doing that, we're doing well. I know, but think about it, if we convert double the people that watch this, we're golden.

Jared could go to Equinox.

Finally.

I could.

Actually.

Get in shape. Potentious people. Rich shape.

Potentious people. That's a different shape.

Do you think you'll actually ever get in Godlike shape? Godlike? I think it might make you contentious.

Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get in Godlike. Good, good, good. I struggle to follow a diet too much.

You'd have to inject things.

Yeah. And I don't want to do that. I hate needles and shots and everything. I'm ready.

What makes them cry? Men in.

Black 3. Holy shit. That was specific.

Yes.

Are you serious?

Yes. Is that what you wrote down?

Was that what you wrote down? What's sad is I actually wrote, what you cry. But if I was going to answer, that would have been what it was. That's love. I wrote the answer to it. I thought you always cry at, which is literally any video involving a differently abled animal.

So politically correct. We appreciate you. A differently abled.

Can you add Jared.

Next time? And tell me that's not 100 % correct.

Wait, I thought it's what you cry at.

No, it is. I misunderstood the assignment, but I will say that is what I cry at. Without question would have been my answer. The end. Men in Black 3, when we find out that... Spoilers. Isn't that movie super old?

Okay, fine.

Go ahead. Spolify the movie for everyone. Yeah, okay, fine. You know what?

Go watch it yourself. It's the best thing that's ever happened to cinema. Next. Let's just cut to.

A clip, we'll watch it and then we'll come back.

It's not monetized anyway. Let's watch.

This thing. True. When other people are crying?

No. When other people are crying.

No, when you cry.

No, that's what he's saying, that I cry when other... It's you crying. It wasn't that. It was movies.

Are you going to.

Cry my ass.

Out.

Moses? Huh?

Jared, what the fuck is that?

You've been doing this podcast for three years. What? It's like when you go to the gym and you put extra weights on, so even when you're walking, you're working out. That's what that feels like to me.

Dude, our podcast is swimming through movies. Syrup mixed. I cry at.

Almost every movie.

What genre do you feel like really gets you?

Rom Coms, dude. Oh, my God. I have ball.

Like a baby. Because you're a love bomber, aren't you?

Yeah, we.

Discussed that last time. I actually was 100 % going to say movies. And then I was like, Oh, no. He literally said out loud the other day, If anybody else ever cries, I'm crying. In.

That is true.

I also didn't write down the right answers, so I didn't get a point for that. I would have written that down, but I didn't.

I can't believe you wrote that down.

Still three, two good guys.

You know what it is? I can't believe I messed up the clear instructions there in front of me about what should have been happening.

That's my fault. They were clear.

That's my fault.

All right, next one. Last one for them, and then we switch. Alyssa, this.

Is hot. Okay. Which best describes your spouse in the morning? A trippy chipmunk or sluggish sloth?

It has to be one of those two?

Yeah.

A turpey chipmunk or a slurpey sloth?

Sluggish. Close.

A slurpey sloth? What did you say?

Babe, we're here. Yeah. No, I don't even need to look at you. I don't have to look at you. So this is you in the morning, right?

No.

This.

Is you. Oh, easy. What is it?

Okay. Churpey Chipmunk Medicated.

See, I was thinking before I get medicated, that'd be a sloth.

I mean, you are a sloth, but then you take Adderall and then you're a.

Churpey Chipmunk. You said Chippie Chipmunk. I mean, yes, but I wrote sloth.

You put.

Slytherpey Sloth? I said sloth, final answer.

Fuck. He really.

Does transform and go through both, so.

I understand. Big pharma.

Shout out.

We can talk about it.

Slippity Slippity Slippers. Really? Wait, what was it called? How am I or how am I? Don't you guys sleep together? Oh, my. I thought we just established this opposite way. Oh, yeah, you're the Chippity Chip Monk. I thought you were saying what I am. Chippity Chip Monk.

A.

Fucking chipmunk. Yeah, because it makes me so angry. Because he doesn't know how to close his mouth, so he'll just wake up and just...

The breathing thing.

They ever see that in the morning and just scare you a little too much?

What's the animal that you look like? The meme of the animal? I'd say pull it up, but we can't.

Thanks a lot, Alyssa.

That's why we're here to find it. It's not really a them. It's more of a.

These guys' show. It's the guinea pig from Bedtime Stories, the movie. Yeah.

If you wanted.

To Google that real quick. No, she's got it. She's plugging it in right now. H.

She said, I'm sorry. Say that one more time that we can't pull shit up.

I love the power bar hanging on the wall.

Don't worry about us. The amount of judgment we've had on this podcast is astronomical. And I know you weren't like this before you got with him. You came in here before, you'd be sweet like, Oh, my gosh.

That's such a nice design. I didn't even notice. No, like, Lauren was such an innocent, loving.

Benevolent creature. And then you corrupted her. I think.

That I was probably a little too naive for my own good beforehand. And so I've.

Definitely made it. Now she walks in. That's not fucking fire code, you're hideous.

I've made Jeremy nicer, I think, and softened him. And then I think that he has, unfortunately, made me a little bit harder.

Sorry. What am I looking at?

This will have lost its lust by the time it gets up there. But yeah, that's the thing that the internet thinks Lauren looks like. And it's not a compliment.

Oh, it's not? I think.

He's cute. Oh, he is.

Look at him.

That's.

Adorable. Yeah. It looks.

Like a the Moose & Diggy's coloring note, right?

Oh, yeah. It's like if you...

And Moose and Diggy got.

A little jiggy.

I hated that.

All right, so I love that.

Did we just tie?

I think we're up by one.

Yes, ma'am? Yeah, they're up by one, yeah.

We're.

Up by one. Five, five.

We have five more. And in black three, we missed that slurpery sloth. We missed that.

Great. We'll keep it a game. It's all good.

We'll keep it a game. We won't fight.

Good job.

Thank you, Melissa. You trained professional who I respect.

Thank you.

It's the first time she's ever heard that.

Usually she hears, Take it off. Why not?

If your spouse could domesticate any animal and keep it as a pet, what animal would they choose?

This is my answer. Yeah.

Does it have to be an animal that's not already domesticated? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Dude, I have zero idea.

Trust me, I see the look in your eyes. We'll take a shot of the dark here. But I need you to think of it first before I think of it.

You haven't.

Thought of it? No, I wrote something down, but it's already been domesticated. It was a pug.

Oh, this is what you would domesticate.

Oh, me?

Yeah. Instructions unclear. Interesting.

Good thing I didn't mess up beforehand.

I only messed up half of those, so.

You're good. But the good thing is the cheat and blurt it out loud so you know you didn't mess up. Okay, so this is what I would domesticate.

Oh. That's not his answer while he writes it down. To be fair, Las Vegas public schools are not known for their...

Sweetheart, I went to Georgia. Even better. I got some sweet tea in my veins.

Sweet tea and racism. All right.

Let's do this thing. No, I got rid of that. I went to a camp.

I was speaking.

Of Georgia. No. Me too.

Go.

Go? Stop. Cappy barrel.

Damn. What the fuck? I don't know.

Shot in the dark, Jared.

A bear.

Women men.

Come on, man. It's right in front of you.

I should have seen it.

Why do you think I own all those leashes? I don't think I.

Can be on this podcast.

Yeah, you can. I don't know.

If I need HR or PR.

I definitely wouldn't tell your PR team about being on this podcast.

Again.

Not.

Going to.

We're like the Edgar Miller podcast. What? That's terrible. Because we're going to be gun in a flash.

I mean, well done.

We just won't touch on the abduction part of it. Okay, next question. Okay.

What is your spouse's love language? Those physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, or quality time.

So I'm going to guess hers.

Easy. Now, is this what they like to receive or what they like to give?

What's.

To receive? Receive? Okay. Sir? Quality time.

Oh, my gosh, boo boo. Look at that.

Get out of here.

I do enjoy it. Zach loves a good time.

Acts of service.

Nice.

Do things for me.

If he was to go get your oil change without you knowing it, that'd be like, Oh, my God.

Thank you so much. Oh, my God.

Yeah, paint job.

But you drive a Tesla. It would be odd since the Tesla, but yeah. Babe, I got your oil change.

Just realizing now that I.

Don't have the oil change. By the way, if I come back and say that, I'm fucking, just so you know, and I'm not a good liar.

But I am. Ask me. You didn't do it. She just realized her dad said he doesn't need to get oil change. Yeah, that's tough.

That's tough. That's okay. And her dad did work.

At GM. Oh, nice.

And his dad worked at GM.

Okay.

And she... I'm so sorry. I tarnished the family legacy.

Yeah, were you a disappointment when you're like, I'm going to do craftsman.

I had craftsman on YouTube and said.

Are you still doing that?

Craftman on YouTube? Yeah.

No, we retired.

Oh, thank goodness. You did craftsman today.

What was the craft? Did I do a craft today?

You had some cute charm necklaces.

Oh, yeah, I did some. Some bracelets. Some beading and stuff. Yeah.

And you did it in those workout sweatpants that look great on you.

Zach, why don't you ever hype me up like that?

Yeah, what the fuck? Because you don't have a hole that I want to enter. Come on, man.

That's not what I've heard.

That is conflicting.

If you've been reading my diary, hard to get.

I would pay a pretty disgusting amount to read your diary, actually. Very dark. Yeah, I know.

And pictureion. Com, let's drop it outside.

Oh, yeah. If you want to leave... Just throwing it away. If you want to go see something on the internet.

Can you imagine the Hoover discovered Mind conf? Thinking this is going to be a commercial success one day?

I read that to the Boys & Girls Club of America, and then they kicked.

Me out. Okay.

What is one item of yours that your spouse would want to get rid of?

One.

Item of mine.

So I want to get rid of.

Something of yours. What do you want to get rid of of mine?

Okay. Oh, I know this.

Wait, hold on. Hold on. They're doing, so what would Jeremy want to get rid of yours?

Yes. Yeah, the item, the possession that Lauren has that I would get the fuck rid of if given.

The option. Okay, so Zak, I'm trying to figure out. Hey. No, you're trying to figure out what I would get rid of of yours.

What? I don't know if there was a more complicated way of.

Describing it. I thought I was going to say, I thought I was, what I want to get rid of.

Of yours. No, no, no.

No, no. Does that make more sense?

What do you... What do you believe?

What of yours does Jared want.

To get rid of? No, I know. I'm just mad now because I know what I want to get rid of and I'm ready for it. I don't even know. Feel free to share that, too. Yes, you do. His usher cologne. It is the worst smelling. I have.

Gotten so many.

Compliments on it. Bring Raymond out here.

Oh, my. Okay, so what would Jared want to get rid of of mine?

You could bottle Herbie's?

No, I'm very clean.

Usher. You can make sure Usher has Herbie's. I don't want to defame him. Pretty sure he does. Does he? Pretty sure. I think there was a thing. And if not, I want to make sure to apology. Raymond, I didn't mean it.

I.

Sure that his name is Raymond. And regardless, you have a beautiful voice.

He has a Herbie's lawsuit.

Yeah, well, you know.

Oh, a herpes lawsuit.

Herpes is a decent name for like, if you had a pet frog, Hello Herbie.

Anyway, I would get rid of all your squishy fellows.

Squishy pillows for one point. For another point, we are three for three, but we.

Are on the same thing. When we play the game, how old.

Are you, by the way?

Old and rich enough to have any squishy mellows that I would like to possess.

There's that relatable piece that the Midwest loves.

Yeah, it was relatable. First of all, rich beyond belief. Second of all, are you going to be at Vidcon this year?

Oh.

No. Well, the only reason I asked is because last year you weren't there and I had to share your picture the whole time.

Oh, yeah, truly. Same. I had no idea. They didn't.

Tell me. Oh, good. J urick, I.

Would get rid of your 65 A lexes in your room.

Why? Just ruined my day. Why do.

You have 65 Alexas?

I have six.

Why do you have more than one Alexa?

Surround sound. And then also at night, I can't sleep very well, so I put everything on a box fan noise, and that just drowned out all the noise.

His room sounds like a fucking wind tunnel, and you can hear it from any place in the house.

Yeah, it's nice. Severe depression. Okay. Yeah. I thought you'd throw that.

Out the window for me. You have one chance, Jared, to get rid of something. One chance to eradicate.

That's why we can't have guns in the house. Right, Jared?

Jesus.

Do we have a better help sponsor, or we can just give you ours?

That was last week.

That was last week. What are our sponsors this week? If we don't have any, it's going to be just...

I didn't come on this podcast if I thought you guys are going to make money. Well, you should.

Squarespace and Zocktock.

Hell yeah. We're big Zocktock fans.

Zocktock. There you go. Whatever. You know us.

We're big Zocktock fans.

Well, you guys can do the ads for us when we're done. That's okay.

I could run it right now.

Yeah.

We really could.

100 %. Okay, how many do we have left? Two more. What's the score?

6.5.

With Lauren. I can tell you right now the score doesn't matter if you don't have a primary care physician in network that is available to you.

At the tip of your finger.

Yeah, and guess what? You know what? You want an app to serve. You don't want to call. Real patient reviews. You know how important that is? Having a doctor is one of the most important things in your life. And don't think about it when it's too late. Go ahead.

I'm taking notes for how to do that.

Zoc.

Com dropouts. Not to mention the app is just intuitive. You download it. It makes sense.

It makes sense. What is the question?

Okay. What is your partner's go to karaoke song?

I've only seen karaoke once. It's the only thing.

That I sing. But with me, right? Yeah. I'm ready to go. Let's do this thing. We weren't getting married. I feel like after this game, I'd want to.

Wow. We made them fall in love, Zak.

All over it. This arrangement is working for me.

Hey. That's helping.

Go ahead.

Chicken Fried.

You know what I like with Chicken Fried?

Gold beer.

On a Friday night. A pair of jeans that fit just right. And the radio. I don't little bit.

Okay. By the way, anyone who can hear the reaver at home? Wow. That's how you.

Know this thing is. Sound treated.

Frozen, loves it up in the door.

Loves it up in.

The door. Damn.

You want to start it up?

I've never seen frozen, but what?

It's like a thing you do with your father.

Or maybe mother.

Just be clear. The things that I can make the jokes on and not having a dad is because I don't have.

Actually, my dad came to the live show, so you missed it.

Shut the fuck up. Did you bring him up on stage? That would have.

Been crazy. Did you make any dad jokes while.

He was there? Yeah, actually. I did. To be fair.

Kind of like... Yeah, I said, My dad's here. It's good to see him. For what? I said, The second time in my life.

Yeah, I'm sure he loved that. Yeah, I was going to say.

How did that go over? I think he's stupid on a couple.

Of alcoholics. Watching this kid that he's told is his son make jokes.

Well, no. Once he's like, Wait, money might be in this.

Hold on now. Maybe lock the door. Come on here.

Maybe lock the doors and turn them. No, it was good. It was good. We had a good time. That was so sexual. Well, I don't know him that well, Jerry. We had a good time. He came out for a week. I think we bonded a lot. I've talked to him over text once since he's left. But besides that, I think we're moving on up. Last question. This one worth a million whatever. Okay.

What gaming product could your spouse not live without?

I know exactly what this is.

Okay.

I'm thinking of it. It's not.

Even close. I'm thinking of two.

There's one that this girl props her day to day to day to day existence on.

Mine is new.

New in the lineup? Yeah. That's big. Men don't do that. Yeah. Congratulations. Let's dive into this one. Should we.

Talk about it? We will have. Okay, go ahead.

Just wait.

Derek, go ahead. Is it.

Bro Glo? Bro Glo. Bro Glo. Bro Glo.

What are the fucking chances? It's Bro Glo. Lauren's dry shampoo.

No, you get it wrong?

And you're going to tell me I'm wrong?

Lash.

Extensions. Babe, you know it's dry shampoo. Lash extensions. You don't wash that hair.

No, I don't wash that hair. But I also can put a.

Hat.

On. Babe, I think push comes to shove.

If I had to choose? No, I would choose lash extensions.

What's the question?

Why do you want to leave her?

Yeah, lash extensions.

Did we just tie? I think we're tied.

You got a little bubba.

Everyone watches that back and sees how the entire thing...

What is.

That, Jeremy? Unwound, and somehow we ended up in the same place.

You guys were on.

Fire there. So I'll be talking no shit.

So we're tied?

Yeah. So you guys should get married.

Fun. Think about.

The tax benefits. When are you popping the question?

When are you popping the clitoral hood. It's 2023. If you don't have a website under your belt of utilities, I don't know what you're doing in this world. And even if you do have a website, are you trying to code it yourself? You're not a coder. What are you doing, kid? You need a website, whether it's with your photographer for your portfolio, whether you're a teacher, you can have class assignments or games or new ways to learn or us. We sell merch, we can put that on a website. If you're the president, you have a website for your campaign. If you're in a restaurant, you want to see the menu, you have to have a website too.

Zach, it's okay. We get it. You're passionate about websites. It's fine.

Specifically Squarespace websites. Tell them about it.

Squarespace is the all in one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. Stand out with a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything, your products, content you create and even your time.

Here's an example of a useful website. Jared's ex created a blog just about him to write what he did wrong in the relationship, and it was powered by a wonderful website.

It was an amazing website.

Beautiful website.

Worked great, looked fantastic.

Did it hurt you emotionally? Who knows? But it looked fantastic. It's a good website for the website. So whether you need to schedule appointments for your work to work with other people, whether you need to do video conferencing, whether you need to sell e-commerce products, could be anything. Maybe you started your own makeup brand or your own hat company, or you're just selling your own fortune cookies, whatever it is, Squarespace is the best way to do it. And let's just say we could save you a little money in the process.

Right now, go to squarespace. Com dropouts for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use our offer code dropouts to save 10 % on your first purchase of a website or domain.

That's squarespace. Com dropouts for 10 % off your first website or domain. Go get yourself a good old website.

Thank you, Squarespace.

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But they have expert care and knowledge on all things. It's not just like, you come to me, it's like, I've got an ailment, I'll go rub some dirt on it. Turns out the ailment progresses and Jared's no longer with us. But if you went to the with Zockdo ck, you could probably get a proper diagnosis.

I'll probably stick around for a little bit. You'd probably stick around for a couple of years.

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With them. Whenever I go to the doctor, I feel like I'm just seeing a face. I'm just praying that he knows what he's doing. But this is reviews. I can actually see if he does his job, does it well, cares about the patient, and well educated and all that stuff. So I think Zock Talk is a totally tool we should have had a long, long time ago. But I'm happy I live in a world where we have it now.

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You, ZOC Doc.

So who's having more sex now?

Jared, I think. He's recently gotten a little bitty.

Jared. Describe her a Rios. Let them know.

I'm not.

Doing that. All right.

Is there anything you do want to share that's just not nice.

She's super fun to be around. How's your ass? Great.

Okay, great. We're done objectifying her.

What else? Wait, so friend to friend? Yeah, friend to friend. When's the last time you had a new thing like this in your life?

It's been a while, right? Yeah. Like, eight months.

Wow. 25, the year of your girlfriend.

Were you worried about performing the first time?

100 %. Are you kidding me? I get it. That was my biggest fear.

At that point. What's the lines on how this is going to last and what's the... Not long.

Not long?

No.

What's over on.

Right now? Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Jared. I just want to see what Vegas has to that, and then I'll test afterwards.

Hi, Vegas. Just take off your headphones and plug your ears. Just completely different people.

Okay. Not a big deal. Do you care? That works sometimes.

Yeah. No, it's.

A fun thing. Oh, it is Summer Fling time.

Oh, Jared, you got yourself a little fling.

Wait, but in Summer Fling, you fuck around? And then it's more of a Cuddle season and Cuffing season?

Cuffing season is in the fall slash winter.

Right. When it gets colder.

Yeah. Did you guys.

Go on a date? I think you're doing this the opposite way. I think you're supposed to be single now, but I've supported.

That's hot boy summer.

Are you taking hot boy walks? No.

Not taking hot boy walks. We don't like cardio.

No. Everyone likes cardio. Hell no. I love cardio.

Can't build a booty if you're doing cardio.

Exactly.

Wait, what? If you do too much cardio, you can't build a booty.

Oh, yeah.

I'm trying to get that bodacious booty.

Lauren's been building butt cheeks lately.

Booty. What's your routine? We have a lot of women listeners who would love...

A little bit of glute kick back? Some bridges, some glue bridges, some RDLs.

Rdls?

Reddit loves those.

Squadding. Squadding. Some back extensions.

Okay. You've got a clan of...

A what's up? A really inco I would say a.

Few dozen gentlemen that are really interested in your fitness journey.

Definitely. A few gentlemen who are super interested in my fitness journey.

Really? They just want tips and tricks, right?

Of course. They're sharing it with each other on Reddit.

I think.

They want tips and tips. Today, it's like, Dude's just like, Where's her OnlyFans? She didn't have one. Why? D ues just don't understand. But where can I see her without the clothes on? I feel like we've just neanderthal ourselves to the point where we're like, But she's got a YouTube. She's got a lot of followers.

Why would there not be.

An OnlyFans? Where boobies?

Could I possibly give you guys another stream of income that doesn't involve you getting naked on the internet?

I'm interested in hearing it.

You guys start an OnlyFans for you. And since your craft, you make different crafts of her naked, like you draw her naked body from memory or other naked things of her. So it's never invertly you.

I feel like crafts and nudes go hand in hand.

Like paper maché. Definitely.

Really? That could be fun. You think they're like in hand? Should we be fucking around with crafts?

Maybe.

Boys? Are you guys ever at home? Let's do it.

On the craft. There is a point in the career where...

Where? One resorts to only fans.

Although I don't think you'll ever make only fans for reasons, you are more comfortable naked than any other girl I have ever dated.

Really? Yeah, I don't really care. It's like you do enough photo shoots and then it just becomes inconvenient when they want you in.

And out of the room. I walked in on a photo shoot not that long ago of you and it was just a room packed of people. Everyone's like, obviously pointing lights at her and just butt cheeks are out. And I was like, That's usually for me. It just becomes incongruity. You look great, by the way.

Thank you.

So much. We're going to do a photo shoot.

Hey.

Guys. We're going to do a photo shoot later. We brought you have a camera? Get your phone out.

That wasn't the only thing you guys planned for this episode, right?

No.

Okay. Zach, let's talk about your dating life right now. Yeah, let's talk about it. Are we in the apps?

What's happening? No, I think I'm on cruise control for a little bit. Cruise control? Let me do this. The comedy.

Of things. Producing podcasts.

Producing. I went on several dates and I noticed I wasn't ready for the game. At this point in my life, I don't think... Performance issues? No, definitely not, Richard. I just think at this point in the game, I don't have enough time to put in to someone else's emotions, and I had to recognize that.

We call it if you wanted to, he would. It doesn't sound like you want to.

I don't think right now I can.

You're not available? No.

Okay. But I pay someone who I can get my physical out on, so it's good. I feel like we'll just maybe...

You know what? Actually, we'll start with that clip. Got it. Well, how old.

Are you? Oh, just turned 14. And you? Okay.

27. Got it. Okay. What a good age? It's a great age, isn't it? That's a good age. That's when dude's brains are supposedly.

Fully developed. Starting to mature.

You're now dying.

How does.

That feel? Well, I heard 28 is the top for physical. You'll see a lot of athletes have great physical years at 28.

You're going to.

Peak next year. I can tell you right now that as of last week when I was doing nothing and pulled my back and then had to be horizontal for four days straight, it's not.

Getting better. Yeah, I told them that yesterday when I ran to them. They were like, Where's.

Jeremy at? Because you promised me you'd never pull out. And then that happened. I was like, come on, man.

Yeah, out.

Out like a light.

How did you pull your back?

Literally existing. I would love to tell you that I was on the roof fucking around some shingles and saving some.

Instead, you actually have.

Shingles now. I was in the in my living room and I realized that my back started to hurt and then it hurt more. And then it kept hurting.

Oh, so literally just existing. You were just like...

You feel good now? I genuinely told you the real story yesterday.

Wow. And what's funny is I tell my 40 year old friends, like, Welcome to the fucking club. Just wait till you're asleep and you wake up. All the stories that they told me weren't jokes, weren't funny, not something I look forward to.

Oh, that's terrifying.

So you have that to look forward to.

Happy.

Birthday. Thank you. Happy birthday.

So if you could just figure out a way to drown it in money and success, it'll somewhat make that.

A little quieter. Isn't it crazy? I still have three more years until my prime.

Okay, we're not sponsored.

I was going to say, come on, and you're holding the prime.

Turn that out to face.

The camera. Logan's not watching.

Oh, trust me, I know.

Jared, have you approached a girl at the gym?

No.

But have.

You thought about it? He does have a gym.

Crush at the gym. So do you.

Yes, I have multiple.

Oh, my God. Do you have pictures? Do you have pictures?

I found them on Instagram.

Wow. Wait, I haven't found mine. She didn't know any of their names. I don't know how you found them. Wait, how did.

You find them? A girl can find anything on the internet.

Men think that they can get away with some of the most blatant and.

Dumb things. Yeah, no. Things. We know.

Yeah, like what? Well, he was wearing a blue shirt and he does have hair. No problem.

Come back at 30. That's enough. That's all I need. That's all I need.

Jared, okay, describe your dad in full detail. These ladies will be able to find him.

I don't know anything about his physical details.

Hell, can you work off that? I got it. I'm on it.

I am on it. Sperm donor, right?

Sperm.

Donor. So it's closed? Yeah. Will you be able to find out for health reasons? I'm adopted, which is the.

Only reason I asked. I don't know. I've never tried. I wonder if.

They submit the genetic testing, though, with...

Well, that's an interesting... Because he got adopted and the whole point was it's supposed to be separation. It's closed. But there's some health things that I know you can... You have a right to. I know when they die, you will be able to get.

Their records.

Interesting. But how do you know when they're dead?

Keep asking.

Just keep asking.

Okay.

Just checking my yearly email. Yeah. No, because my mother's birth mother just passed and now those records have been opened up.

Oh.

Interesting. Yeah. You have an auto reminder every.

Two weeks? Every two days. I just go, Are you dead yet? Are you dead yet? Are you dead yet? They're not dead. No, but I think there's a level of that. Are you interested?

I think it would be interesting, but I'm not going out of my.

Way to find it. Same question. Do you want to meet his dad?

Yes. Yeah, I think it'd be lovely.

I'll find them just for you, just so you can.

Meet him. That'd be fun to have them on the podcast.

Think about it. Both dads?

Then.

They get to play the game of like, what do they know about you? And they don't know anything.

They're like, who knows their son better?

Mine's gay. No, not dad. It'd be okay if he was. Okay, chill, man. Is it true that you guys are only getting married because you got her pregnant? We're trying to have a click page to see.

I just feel like, are you re? Do you think... Is it the.

Big splatter? Oh, no, I don't think. I think you're actually in great shape.

Do you think.

It's like a football game? Yeah, maybe. Would you guys ever have children? Yes. Would you do the thing?

Hold on. What was that answer? Yes.

Would you do the thing where you can, like, genetically change their.

Eye color? Absolutely. Oh, really? Oh, mine would be 6'6, 14 inch cock, beautiful eyes, perfect teeth.

What a beautiful little girl. Speaks three languages. Scholarship's Galore. Oh, yeah.

So when are you guys going to start pumping and dumping. Not a lot.

It's stressful because it's probably a thing we should be thinking about, but couldn't be less focused on that.

Your ovary is good to go? We're doing.

The whole ignorance is bliss thing. No, freezing your eggs is a lot more invasive than I think people realize. It's not a fun process. It's not like a one and done walk in, walk out of the clinic. It's like a couple of month thing we got to load.

Up on. Like a chicken, you don't grab that thing and.

Take it with you. No, you just go.

With it. Do you have an idea how difficult it is to be a sperm donor? You actually have to.

Give so much s perm.

What do you mean? You do? Yeah, you do.

Oh, wait, I was just having this conversation.

I started to get self conscious. How much s perm? What's a lot? I think you.

Have to go jack off multiple times, like five times a week.

For two months. Yeah. So when I tried to become a s perm donor, when I was broke and I moved out here and they denied me, you.

Why did they deny you?

Because I'm a dropout.

Oh, really?

That makes sense. Everyone in Los Angeles is named something that's important and has 14 degrees and has a beautiful Rolodex and somehow has time to go nut in the cup five times.

A much is.

That worth? It was a couple of hundred bucks.

Each time?

That's it? I was hungry.

No, each time? Let's talk about my squishy pillows.

One more time. Depending on you got paid, it was like ramped up. By volume? So if you could get there six or seven times a week, you started to make some cash. Okay. I applied. I did my best. I got the denial. I called. I said there must be a mistake. I'm super tall.

I have a.

Full head of hair. They were like, We're good on tall white dudes that are dropouts. Huh.

Yeah. Okay.

And we have them to thank for Jeremy not having children running around all of LA right now.

But wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't it be fun?

That would be fucking weird. No, I don't think so. They should get to be like.

Punch it in the face. No, we're going to try and stop that cyclical effect of my family and have a child under the hood luck? Try things out.

Yeah, look at that.

That's.

Boring. You guys saving it for marriage, just sex in general?

Yeah, of course. We're going to consummate the marriage.

On the next day. Mom, I promise. In the name of love. Isn't it probably a great representation of us is that by the time our wedding is over, we're going to be too tired to.

Have sex? 100 %.

I've actually thought about that. Just after the wedding, I'm like.

After every.

Party, I'm so tired. Literally. And then once you have been squishing gushes for a while now, y ou're like, Okay, I mean, we could, or we could just...

Or we could just have sex tomorrow.

We're a.

Soaking.

Couple. Maybe not.

We do soaking.

Oh.

That's.

Fun. Very Mormon of you. What?

We're soaking.

Before we contemplate our marriage. Yeah, right. Yeah, soaking soaking, soaking, soaking. And then we'll get.

The friend. You guys are familiar with soaking, right?

Oh, yeah. My best friend growing up was Mormon.

That's right. Nevada, close to Utah.

Did they soak?

Did you help? We were children. I moved when I was 10, but I couldn't ask them.

Okay. You want to text them? We can wait.

Zach, you told the other friend to jump on the bed next to them while there's a couple of us choking.

Shake it? Yeah. Oh, I'm a good guy.

Who do you think performed worse your first time?

What was that? That laugh.

Didn't help.

Because I remember my first time and it was not good.

Feel free to share with the class.

It was so fast.

His favorite movie is the one with Vin Deistel. It makes sense.

How long are we talking?

Like sub 20 minutes.

Sub 20 minutes?

What did you say to her after? You're just like, I'm sorry? Or you're like, That was great.

I have to go. I was like, That.

Was great. Nice.

I was like, Good for me, good for you.

You have a future in this. I mean, I see this working for you. You were great. But I prefer you tell us that version. Honestly, it was pretty good. I think it was all right. 20 minutes. Anybody who says that, awful.

Oh, I.

Am fully aware it was fucking terrible.

I almost think that would be less awkward than doing it for the first time with your wife, with your parents outside the door, making sure that you consummated it. Why would the.

Parents do that? Why were they.

Making sure? Guys, in history, they used to... First off, you would have to carry the person over the... Oh, that's right. And then everyone would wait outside until it's done. Literally, everyone just sit there and go...

That makes it a lot hotter.

Okay.

I feel like...

Would you guys be interested in waiting outside R?

We haven't got an invite.

No, you won't be at the wedding. But after the wedding, when our friends are gone...

We'll watch. Do you guys already have a camera guy or no?

Not for the after hours.

We have this... We got 4 K on this, right? Yeah. And then by then, Apple's vision should come out so we can all watch it together.

Are you guys in on that?

Are you interested? I'm so interested.

Very interested. Yeah. All right, dropouts tech podcast segment. Let's do it.

Thank.

God. I see.

Myself out. It's nerdy. All I read about or watch is AI or VR or AR when I'm not doing this. I have this AI news thing that just...

People don't know this about Zach, but all the conversations I've had when he's not dropping incessant sarcasm, he's a nerd.

You're a lowkey... I love stuff like that, and I love sports, and I love.

But the sports isn't a surprise. You are a student of nerdy weird shit, and I love that.

Feel free to help me because I don't even know if I personally know the full nerdiness.

When someone says a bit about a subject that's not skin level. It's not even like three levels deep. You were on red about that, weren't you?

I do like stuff.

I like stuff. See, that's the side of it we haven't seen yet.

Well, I don't know how to get.

It out there.

Well, now's your chance.

Okay, I like stuff.

Now what do I think? And that's all for today. Okay, so AR, VR, what do you actually want to do with these goggles? Besides what we all know you want to do with those goggles.

See, even to be completely honest, that doesn't interest me. I'm not a big porn guy. Okay. Hold on.

Do we believe this or no?

Well, I'm 14 certainly, I believe it. I can't even make a joke about it. I got to.

Ask, I'm going to have to... Alyssa, I'm going to ask, do you think that he's a big porn guy?

No.

Wow. If Alyssa say.

No, I believe it. Even if I'm in a relationship or dating around, I would much rather have a great conversation time than have sex. That doesn't even...

The problem is when he says stuff like this, babe. I know. He just... So many girls were so close to me. I'm out on him. I'm not interested.

In that one little.

Fucking comment. It's 100 % true. That's what I'm interested in. I just want to talk and find out what you like and what I like, see if we can build this partnership. Anyway, what was I going to say about?

Not a thing. I'm waiting for you.

What were you talking about? What do I want to use it for? I'm really interested to see the pixel density because... No, but honestly, because it's supposed to be 4K per eye, and I haven't used a VR headset where I feel like I'm actually immersed because the whole time I'm like, I know I'm in something, and it makes me want to take it off and not really use.

It as much. Since you brought up nerdy things, it's not about the pixel density, it's about the refresh rate. Apple patented a refresh rate that's fast enough to actually make you feel like things are moving at the rate that we're used to them.

But you're so close to it. If you go to your iPhone, the pixel density is better than the iPhone because if you go close enough, you can see the pixels in this. So if it's an inch, two inches from your eye, it's got to be so small that you still can't see that. But yeah, the refresh rate is great.

Refresh rates will make you motion sick. That's the thing. Like, if it doesn't line up with what your brain thinks it's supposed to. It just feel weird.

And I think it's 5,000 nits brightness per eye. You can look.

That up. Let's confirm that, 5,000 nits.

You spelled that.

V, I, R, G, I, N.

That was good.

I like it. In perpetuity.

She looks it up. She's like, You mean the airplane company?

Atlantic Records.

What is the refresh rate on it?

Not sure, but whatever they did, they patented something new. So specifically so that people don't get motion sick.

Really? Yeah.

By the way, these aren't coming out for a year, so.

We'll see. It's cool. I'm ready for Gen 4 of it to really see what it is.

I'm actually wildly nervous. I think dudes do not need another reason to lock themselves in the room and stare at porn and not go get a real friend.

Or hobby. No, I think that's what I actually am on the side of. I think porn is vastly damaging to people's minds and things like that because once you get in the bedroom and you're actually with a woman, you're actually not You haven't trained yourself to be satisfied in that moment. So a lot of people have erectile dysfunction or just not as much interest as we're watching porn because that's the only time their brain has been sexually aroused by something is by their phone. So it's like, That's the only way I can be aroused, which is I find interesting.

Also, the ADD kids who just doom scroll porn for hours.

Dooms. That's awful. Then eventually it's just the I got to top this, top this because I don't feel anything anymore. So that's why it's getting weird out.

There, I'm sure. You have to find yourself an Asian baddie who's good at stuff.

I have you? Oh, Lauren.

Louris, L'Oriel. I'm looking.

Further and further away.

You got it. Notice you didn't pipe up when we were talking about how he doesn't watch a lot of porn. So can only imagine what that means. Walk me through your thoughts on the vision.

Jared's into it. What? The porn.

On it? No, you're into porn.

Are you listening there? No, I'm not. I did order the Mac Pro. I was the only person, apparently, who.

Ordered it. Oh, the new Mac Pro? Not even the Mac Studio? I already have one of those. Well, the Mac Pro.

Like the tower? I think I'm literally the only person who was excited by it.

I think the Mac Studio can almost do everything that that can do at the moment. I mean, it does have... If you notice actually the breakdown, when you look in the website, they only show one side of the computer.

But under He has no time for porn. He was chafing by the time he got through Apple's website.

So it's broken up into three sections, the computer, and the bottom two are literally nothing but fans that go through and aren't cooling down anything unless you put something in that you don't really need. Pciu for it. Then the top is where the entire thing is, which basically just a Mac studio, which is interesting.

I'm going to put all of my volumes and things I've recorded of you guys in those slots that I can access them really quickly.

Good. As you should.

Babe, you want to wake up?

Yeah, it's perfect.

It's great, guys. I'm sure we've got a captive audience right now. Don't worry. This is riveting.

Yeah, but the.

Thing is that you're a part of it, too. No, I'm here. Your family overseas built them. So we're good to go. We are here.

Product of Taiwan.

Yeah. Sorry. Close. We're probably going to help, though. Should we get into that? What's up with China? They'd really want that Taiwan.

Next question. Do you want to talk about geopolitical issues with chip manufacturing?

Or do you want to go back to your squishy mouse? We bring.

Our squishy mouse one time.

It's your brand. That and capy barres.

I love a capy bear. Do you have a capo barra squishy pillow? Oh, my God. No. Oh, you're really missing out. I do like squishy as well. I'm sorry. You maybe felt like I was sliding you for that. And I think they're a great product. I know you're building me a little bit. Thank you so much.

I hate to be that guy, but how did the live show go?

Actually, really, really well. We were scared. We weren't going to sell it out. We were finally able to sell it out. I think, within the last hour. Great show, great audience. Every single person I talked to, it felt genuine. They're like, Man, this was... I think this is how we knew. People would bring their husbands or wives that weren't part of it, didn't know what was going on. Afterwards, they came up and wanted a picture and we're like, This was really funny. I'm going to start listening. So that was cool. And then, oh, God, Jared, we didn't bring it up. New York City, July 27th, we are going to be in the Big Apple, baby, for the show of a lifetime. We're talking about Dropouts Live, the podcast that you've been waiting for. East Coast, our first one. You guys are not going to.

Want to miss it. I was going to actually tee you up for that. So can we run it back? And I'll go.

Ahead, man.

It's been like an hour in that we're really.

Hitting this. The first one went really well. Would you do another one?

I need to say that. We're actually going bigger and better in the Big Apple of New York City. Sheridan and I on stage at the City.

W.

Inery. City Winery where we'll have 328 seats to fill. That's not terrifying at all. Also, my brother lives in New York City. He'll be there. Can we put this in a more towards the front?

He's a successful one, right?

Billions. I think it's like 6 or 7 billion is what the way to evaluate it at now.

Yeah. So if you can sell all those 328 tickets, you'll finally win his respect.

Well, he did recently tell me that if he dies, I'm going to be just fine, which is he travels a lot. Let's pray for a little. Anyway, but if you guys aren't there, I will fight your immediate family member. Also, there will be prizes games, probably special guests, and Jared will be there. Sorry. And then I'll be there.

What date is this?

July 27th.

What date is it again?

July 27th. I don't remember.

In New York.

New York City Winery and Chelsea, New York Manhattan. You picked Chelsea? I didn't pick it.

I didn't pick it either.

By the way, a great location.

Really?

For some, I mean, the robot. Is there a crime there? No. If I was going to do an art show.

Nice. Let's do an art show. This is an.

Art show. My wealthiest, most affluent, most...

Whitest friend. Yeah, that's where I would.

Have gone. Well, Jared, he only wants... I want all minorities and then Jared wants all white, so we're going to do a mixture. Okay. Kind of like your guys' marriage.

A blended event. A blended, yeah. Yeah.

Look at us go. Tickets in the description. Honestly, they're a decently priced, I think, is what I've been told.

I'm going to buy them all and jack up.

The price. Why did you miss the LA one?

I'd like to point out that I'm not the guy who, Oh, I'm so excited for your show and then waits for you to give me tickets. I just buy them out, right?

But then you don't come.

Right. So then you can sell them again. Double the money.

Can we? I think they're just taken, right?

I think that's probably just two less.

Butts and sticks. Really? I would have just started shoving people in.

They're not there. Well, if you want to get guys when it comes to the New York show, we'll put you on our comp list.

Thanks so much.

I'll go and pick up tickets now. I hope to see you there.

Yeah, I hope to see you.

How does Jared do in live shows? Does he come alive?

He was blitzed. Yeah, I was so fucking nervous. Is this.

Your first performance?

Yeah. First time on stage since I think the third grade, and I was dressed up as a background character. Are you a musician? Yeah, but I don't perform live, or at least I haven't yet.

Gen Z should have ever heard. But I'm performing live. Are we good for you or do.

We have a hard out? When moms... Okay, here's the tier. It goes TikTok, and then I think Instagram Reels, probably YouTube Shorts and then Facebook. Well, my mom is just now sending me that Redhead kid from LA going, Apparently. There's no way. And she goes, I love this kid. He's so funny. I'm like, I'm pretty sure he's graduating College. But I just thought it was funny. I was like, Mom, it's also endearing.

It's very wholesome.

It's very wholesome. Do you want us to pause so you can have that moment with your mom and we'll get back to it?

Put mom on the pod. Yeah.

Trust me, she's been.

On the pod. Don't do.

This to your mother. She sent me another one. How does Section 179 works? Financial hacks.

My favorite is my mom sends me private links of her friends and like.

The bumfucking. Oh, my God. My mom.

Does that too sometimes. What did you want me to get out of this? Because I've just started being like, Oh, my God. It's hilarious.

Wow, so cute.

It's the animal that needs help. Ight, right. That next to it.

Yeah. Have a really dark sense of humor, mom. Thought you knew.

I like you guys.

Speaking of parents and.

The live shows.

Let's bring it down here. My parents are in Kentucky, right? And they couldn't come out to this live show in LA. And so I asked them. Put them on blast. I asked them. I was like, Hey, we're going to be in New York, right? It's closer to you guys. It's July 27. You have time to prepare and get there. Would you want to come? And they go, Sorry, New York doesn't interest us.

This is how you know we've come so far in America. Oh, my God. No, that city, not of interest.

Isn't that fucked up?

No, we'll stay in Kentucky where we can have the best time of our lives as two lesbian women. Literally. New York.

Not interesting. Not seeing our son.

Just one of the most inclusive cities in the world and watching your son do his dream of being on a stage in front of people. And I couldn't care less.

No. And then that's what I said to them. I was like, Really? You don't want to come out even to support your son and see him live his dreams? And they go, Can you pick somewhere that's safer? And I was.

Like, Safer than Chelsea, New York.

I just think there's a small silver lining here where they do feel safe in Kentucky and they don't feel safe in New York. And I think that's nice.

Yeah, that's.

Very shocking. That's nice. I will remember the day that I got off the car and I wound University of Kentucky. And I was like, Oh, this is going to be great. And three conversations in, I go, Oh, people actually don't like black people here.

They're like, R.

Ocism is real. Oh, this? They actually are?

Oh. No, Confederate flags hung up for decor because they truly.

Believed that. And by the time I went back, 10 years after my first arrival, I was like, Oh, got it. We're not as hating on everything. But yeah, it was culture shock for sure.

And yet they feel at home.

One of the most damaging things I heard, because I grew up in Vegas, and not that I was obviously a minority by any stretch, but there was less white people at my school.

How are you.

Going to...

There was less white. I can't wait to hear the rest of you go.

Let's talk about your struggles as a minority.

Thank.

You. Could you play dramatic music we could start?

I was alone at my school with the blacks.

Don't.

Worry, he's got it covered. No. So all my friends were Hispanic black. I had a little bit of taste for tapeteo Latinas because that's how I was around in Vegas. That's what I grew up to have crushes on. And then I get to Vegas, my school is 99.9 %. Hey, how are you all doing?

What do you like in Vegas or outside Vegas?

Well, you can't really go to school on this trip, but in Vegas. Yeah. My mom's, our address was like, V oloz, Vegas.

The strip didn't raise you?

No, it put food on the table because my mom was doing it. But you.

Can't say that about Ms.

Gina. Why? She loves the truth.

That she was.

A stripper? Okay, she was a schoolteacher. Fine, we'll say it. Sharon? Okay. Yeah. So I get over there and then obviously become friends with my black friend who...

Oh, you have black friends? Trey.

Okay, got it. And obviously I didn't even think about him having a skin color until...

You didn't think of him having the skin color?

No.

Yeah, he was just.

Translucent the entire time. I'm blind to it. But so we're all just hanging out. And somebody's mom was there and I was like, we were probably twelve. I was like, oh, yeah, it's going to be us, us. And then Trey will be there, this, and then. And they're like, Oh, good. He's one of the good black ones.

I was like, Oh, yeah. That's a sentence you're not ready for.

Until you hear it. I got so mad. Yeah.

That's one of those where you go.

Holy.

Fuck. You're almost like, you're almost like, You're kidding, right? Oh, you're not even kidding. No, no, no. It wasn't even a bad joke. It just wasn't a joke.

And then my brother, who we didn't officially adopt, but I consider my brother is black, he came and lived with us throughout school. And yeah, it's just...

Is that your saving grace to like...

Oh, yeah. I can't say the word. Have the past, never used it.

I feel bad for Lauren. I will say you're never enough of anything for anybody. I do feel bad for.

You in that regard. Oh, yeah. White people are mad and Asian people are mad.

Everything. What? Why aren't white people mad?

White people get mad when I... I'm already mad.

Hate sex must.

Be great.

Okay, go ahead. Sorry. No, white people get mad when I am not white enough and age people get mad when I'm not Asian enough.

How would you be more of either?

Fuckin' you.

Tell me. Okay. You tell me.

So, one, we're going to.

Start with. So, yeah, let's start with... No, Jared, how do you think she could become more Asian?

Let's just run around the room and just do top five.

Yeah, no?

And don't say anything about chopsticks.

I think she's doing a great job.

Thank you so.

Much, Jared. They're doing a great job.

They're doing a great job. I think you're.

Nailing it. Are your parents the ones that... And then are they of... What are they?

Okay, so my dad is white.

Ukrainian and finish.

Ukrainian and finish. My dad is Ukrainian and finish and my mom is Japanese.

Okay. Actually, there's a town in was it Finland named after you?

Not named after me, but my last name is also the name of.

A finished town. They said Lord DIY, Lord Reimaki. We're going to name our city Reimaki. Yes.

I'm sure it's beautiful. It's got art pieces all over. I walked around a.

Little bit on Google Earth. It wasn't great.

It wasn't great. I feel.

Like the Google Earth car maybe did their laptop during the winter. Yeah, they did them dirty. They did them dirty. Yeah. The city wasn't looking alive, and so I feel like it wasn't a real depiction.

I'd like to go to Finland. Would you? Let's go. Yeah. It's not on my top 10, but it's up there. I'd go, yeah. The Nordic region? Yeah, for sure. What's on your bucket list right now? Kissing you. If you could kiss them anywhere.

Italy, probably.

I thought for sure there's going to be a body part.

Okay. Not bad.

Romantic. And did you agree with that?

I'd go to Italy.

Hell yeah. You've been to Italy before? No. Dropouts in Italy?

Third show? I haven't been really anywhere too far outside of the country except for St. Thomas and stuff, which I don't think really counts.

Because you just go on a cruise. Only Saint Bob's tree do we see us? But of all places to go.

But no, I did go there.

Did you find a Saint Martin?

No, but my sister's there right now. She's going to med school there.

In Saint Martin?

I'm pretty sure.

Yeah. The airport that lands on the beach?

Yeah.

It's hilarious. He pulled up his find my whatever, find my friends. And then her dot, it looks like it's just in the.

Middle of the ocean. It is floating in the ocean. Yeah, that.

Makes sense. Or you're sissy.

Sissy is a word that.

I.

Didn't like. I just curl inside. Yeah. Wow. There she is. Saint Martin.

Love you. I'm going to Portugal in November. I don't know it. I've never been. Have you guys been there?

Lauren has.

I thought Portugal was in Spain for... Because I've been to Portugal.

And.

She told me. I was like, Oh, yeah, I've been to Spain. I was in Portugal.

With full confidence.

Full confidence. I've already done Spain.

Full confidence. Done Spain, did it, never going to do it again.

What city? Portugal. Portugal. It was great.

You're going to love it.

I went to Lisbon. Is that where you went?

I was around this, but I think I can't remember the.

Name of the... Funny enough, I'm going to Web Summit to speak about AI.

In Portugal? Yeah.

How many months out.

Is this? This is November.

They've already booked you for this. They thought to themselves, This is the best.

Use of this spot.

This.

Is the one.

We want. I'm the top.

Of the top. But real quick, just for everybody at home, go ahead and list off your AI accomplishments, though. People don't.

Know them. Yeah. So you'll probably see them in the podcast. I have equity in this company called Rembrand, where basically it's AI product placement.

Oh, actually, I love this.

This is the coolest shit. Yeah, it's AI product placement. So you'll.

See it's probably sitting between you guys.

During the episode, you'll see maybe one of the posters in the background get changed into... Are you guys actually using this? Yeah, a product or something like that. And then we can put a can of soda somewhere. Eventually, because I want to do the TV film, I'm going to package that into my production company of like, this is a good way to work with us because you can watch our movies first and then put Coke or a can of something or anything into the film. Because a lot of times to get those deal structured, you have to do it months, maybe even years before. And if it's a big Marvel movie, it's like now I can watch the movie, make sure it fits my brand and then put my brand in it, which I think is really cool.

Perfect example. Look at the cars at the beginning of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Look at the end.

Good point. They're all Audis.

Now they're Audi. Also, might start working with this new company called called character AI. It's essentially... They can essentially even take this podcast and almost...

Make it better?

Well, we could create an AI where it tracks everything I've said and give probable responses and then create part of our patriarch or part of.

Something else. Wait, hold on. Let's talk about this.

They can speak to us.

People are getting very interested in just selling off a somewhat version of themselves. Would you do that? Yeah, it's fun.

Would you? Hold on, explain what this is.

What is it doing? License and AI derivative.

Yeah, essentially it's me based on all of the podcasting. No one.

Else is listening to this show. It's just us now, right?

Yeah. There's no one left.

You can almost essentially speak to you or I on a chat, but it's just making up conversation like it's us.

But it's not us. Based on what you've.

Already.

Said. That's so cool.

But think about this. If you listened to every single minute of Dropout's podcast and then you had one task, your task was to be him chatting to somebody else.

Oh, and easily. Could you do it?

Easily. Yeah. Now make you 10,000 times more efficient. Fuck yeah, they.

Could do it.

No problem. Well, what are the cool features? A lot of people are saying, Oh, it'll take you away from real life and talking to real people. But actually, they've used it with people with severe social anxiety to talk to other human beings, or practicing talking to human beings. And then it's like, Oh, I've actually been able to now talk to people now that I've practiced with someone who seems real.

Jaren, if you had had this, you would have lasted 40 seconds.

Oh, yeah, buddy. Yeah, I also got my hand in this, I think, thing that's going to change the landscape of NIL, which I'm pretty excited about.

That's cool because I put you on with people that are really important to me and my team that I trust a lot. And I've noticed you haven't given me any of these opportunities. This is an interesting one way street we've got going on here. Yeah. I'm glad that my lawyers can pay for these deals for you.

That checks out. I got to get back to them.

Hey, Zach, you're done with him.

I do want to talk to you about... I can't talk about it. This is great. Go ahead. But I want to talk to you about this NIL thing because I think it's actually pretty exciting. I just scared a get in the ball rolling this week.

People know that you're a nerd? This is great.

Who knows? They do now. I love entrepreneurship and that type of stuff. Self help books? Yeah. Oh, what am I reading right now? I think I'm reading $100 Million Offers by Alex Hermozi. I think it's actually really valuable.

You listen? Do you read?

I'm reading this one.

Curveball? Yeah. What about you're a.

Listen guy? Sometimes I'll read it in the morning and then I'll listen to it at night to make sure I absorb the chapter.

Got it. Sorry. No, you an either be a psychopath or a millionaire.

No, we're both. Definitely both. No, let's get back to the.

Let's do five questions that Lauren asks. Go ahead. Okay. Go ahead.

One of the five questions that I asked?

You have literally anything that comes from you.

Anything? Any question ever about anything?

Everyone's tired of me and Zach.

Oh, couldn't be more.

Free reign of just anything that I can ask.

Yeah, let's run it.

Or should we do it to you since you're the guest on.

The podcast? No, this is more fun. Zach, how's your hairline? Are you balding yet? Are you okay still?

How are you doing? Starting hot.

No, I'm not balding. My dad has a full head of hair. My grandpa, he's 84, still has a full head of hair. My mom has good hair. The recently told me I have very thick hair.

That's great. I'm happy for you.

Who's they?

The Cutters. Got it. What are they call them. The Full The Cutters. Yeah, we're not talking about the email kids that we used to make fun of in high school, right? Just anything else?

Number two? Number two. Jared, same question.

How's the hair? It's all.

Going to be physical based.

Not good. Okay, all right.

Working on it. Working on it? Working on it. I started taking oral Minoxidil and I've seen progress. So instead of using the foam like Rogane or whatever, you take the oral one, your body processes it better, and you actually see results.

I saw dude on TikTok fully grow his hair back.

Now, there are people that go like above and beyond. They're putting rosemary oil.

Yeah, they do. He's doing the micro needling and stuff. He's got a crazy regiment, but he.

Fully just like... Just push me in front of a bus at any.

Point in time. Like, spraying.

His hair back.

I'm putting rosemary. No, it's insane how you can grow it back. But that's all I do. And been doing that for about six months, off and on. I need to be better about it. But it's actually growing back and it's being thicker.

But you're only cheating yourself. You don't do it, okay?

I.

Know. That's all my questions. And now you have a girlfriend. What? Oh, good.

That was it? Zach, when's the last time you.

Had sex?

Jesus, Lauren. That's a great question. It's got the intimacy coordinator.

In here. While Zach counts back on his months, Jared, how about you?

Oh, he's been in the Gucci like he was born there.

What? Jared, I love this for you.

It was fairly recent.

Jared's got the smile. Audio people, they're just like...

There's a difference smile between Jared's resting smile and his Gucci smile.

It's like I can't breathe with my mouth closed and I've got a secret that I want.

To talk about. Are you looking at your calendar?

What's happening right now?

I am looking at my calendar. Do you write it down?

Wow, did you write it down? No, I was just looking at the days because I can't.

I wrote three love songs the day.

After it. It was either Sunday or Monday.

What? We get it. You can fucking end the pod whenever you want.

We will. Let us go.

Goddamn. I didn't realize you were talking.

To me.

Sorry, go back to you?

A few months, I think. Sunday or Monday.

Sunday or Monday.

Wow. How was it? It was great.

You saw it? Over under 20 seconds?

Way.

Over. Great job.

My God.

We're so proud.

He does come.

A long way. Well, tell him your thing when you have sex with a new person. Dude, okay. What? Too far. He never finishes.

You're one of those. That's the thing.

The first time with somebody because I get so in my own head about not finishing quickly that then I just never do.

Don't finish. Right now, if my father had practiced that.

There'd be way less kids.

In the world You're a woman and I'd like to speak to you about orgasming. I think...

Ask somebody else. You're right.

But no, I feel like the entire...

Lauren would be a great person to answer this.

Go ahead. The entire time during sex, you guys are thinking about anything else to not orgasm, so it takes them out of the moment while women have to be so in the moment to orgasm. I just feel like I don't know what God did there, but it's me.

Was there a question? No?

They were just like, a comment to say to me as a woman.

Well, what do you think? Do you have to be so engaged? How quickly do you get out of the moment?

I feel like anything can take you out of the moment.

But for guys, my dad could be watching and I'd still be like, this is based on Jursey.

Also keep watching so I have a bit of a distract myself.

Yeah, exactly. We have to be like, dead grandma, dead grandma. She survived the chemo. I can't think.

Okay. What's your go to don't.

Come thought? Why would you ask this question to Zach fucking justice?

I.

Make.

Nba lineups in my head of like, I draft and I compete.

No wonder you're so good.

With Cal. Yeah, I compete against myself on drafting NBA players. I'm like, Okay, then who would win that game? Because I'm like, best player, best player. Makes so much sense.

Because you and Coach Cal Parry sounded like you had equal amounts of actual real world experience when you're going through that.

And now I know why. And the funny thing is about that, my team would demolish his team.

I'm not disagreeing. Yeah. Did you want to know my thoughts on sex or just Lawrence?

Yeah.

Well, is that not so offensive, though, as a woman? You're in this intensely passionate moment together, and then he's just doing NBA lineups.

Yes. I've never had sex with Lawrence.

Yes, but also...

Yes.

Okay. I feel like I'm being sold.

Maybe wedding night. I do want to mess Kate women.

We just talked about us not doing it.

I also don't want to do it either. I want to learn about your feelings. What was the question again? When do you orgasm?

Early and often.

No, yes. It's not offensive because I feel like if I need more time, I'm like, do whatever you have to do to not come in 20 seconds.

Got you. Okay. Got you.

Got you.

Jeremy. Lauren's not like... I wonder what she's thinking about sex. She'll let you know.

You do seem like a guy that would send a calendar invite for sex.

She would do that.

We would for sure do that.

It's hot.

With start and end times.

For play section, you got to get past the formalities. This is like a normal Zoom. It's like, all right, how.

Are you? Without question. The longer you're together, the more that you can be like, we probably should fuck soon. Especially when one of us talks about business too much. My favorite is like, We should have sex soon.

I think that's even better sometimes when you find somebody that you can have conversations about what you want to talk about with.

There's few things that we don't speak well to each other about.

That's true.

And I do think that's probably a bit of a superpower.

Communication.

Is key. Couples are awkward. Can you imagine listening to Jared and whoever this girl has talked for five minutes?

What did I talk about? How's the convo?

The convo is great, I think.

Sure. What are you most intrigued by about her?

What am I most.

Intrigued by? You can go two ways.

Three.

Probably four.

Flip her over, there's five.

It's getting weird that you don't have an answer.

Well, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell you.

Guys are talking about. Is it just that she's interested in you? Be honest. No. Okay. You fallen in that trap before? Just making sure you don't.

You want to try me? Go ahead. Ask me.

What do you find most intriguing about Lauren?

The way that she perceives life specifically because the things that matter most to her, she spends all of her time and energy making sure that they stay where they are, and she's not so worried about shit she doesn't have and prioritizes things in a stupid way. And that's an attribute that I really admire.

Jared, over to you.

That was really nice.

That was beautiful. You felt like you guys were falling out of love and you're like, There it is.

We should have sex soon.

Nice.

I spend my days thinking about all the shit I want to accomplish and do and that I don't already have in front of me. And she's like, I really love the life that I have. And I'm like, That's.

Fucking cool. Oh, that's a great. So you stop and you see the bird. Have you heard of that? Hold on.

Is there a.

Worm in this? I don't know if it's an analogy, but there's this thing where in the relationship at the beginning, if someone says, Oh, look at that bird over there. You'll stop and really look and see the bird.

Oh, I saw this too.

But to have a lasting relationship, it's always stop and look at the bird when your significant other is looking at something. Don't just dismiss and be like, Oh, yeah, that's cool. Just be like, Oh, why are they so interested in whatever that.

Cool thing is? I can rattle off with zero hesitation that she's more interested in hanging out with a capybara than any other animal. That's a shift since the beginning of our relationship. That's for sure.

I think we lost Jeremy on the bird to the capybara.

The amount of things that you care about that I would have never given a shit about, but because you care about, I care about carrying with you.

We had a 10 minute conversation about manatees the other night.

That's.

The best. That's what we're doing instead of having text is talking about manatees and how long they can hold the.

Breath for. I think a room...

You want to tag in for a couple of years or just me and Jared will hang out or what? You guys seem pretty compatible.

Sorry. But I think romanticism and comedy have a big thing in common where a lot of people think it's this big spectacle that makes it great when in reality, it's the funniest things are the small conversations you have with your best friend about the ketchup in the fridge. It's the same thing of the manatee conversation. That's really where the spark is, where a lot of people get lost in the explosions of whatever Fast and furious movie just came out next. When really a movie all set in one house about real life relationships. Take a Paddleton, for example, one of my favorite movies, not the one about the Bear, is really drives home when it's made on, I'd say, 0.01 % of the budget.

That's.

Great.

I will only add on to that really great thought with what Tom Hanks said, which is it's always about the hang.

It's about.

The hang. That's a great fucking way to characterize it.

Let's get these guys out of here. We've been a little too existential. Thank you guys for coming. Where can we find our merch?

Shopdropouts.

Com or Patriot pod. What do we have in dropouts?

Don't worry about it. Follow their podcast Wild until Nine. Also, Laura D.

Lawrence of Arabia. If you're.

Subscribed to us and not her, it wouldn't.

Make sense. Watching this podcast, ours probably isn't for you.

It's a lot more intellectual.

I would love to have some of your community join ours.

Okay, have them. Go for it, guys.

Open arms.

On our side. You call us. Six subs. We're like, That's what we do.

You are welcome. I know we lost six subs.

Oh, that's what we do. But no, honestly, this was a great podcast. It's one of my favourites as of recent. Because at one point in the podcast, I forgot we were on one and that's my favourite thing.

We are recording? Sick.

If you stay till the end, make sure to send me a picture of both of them from 2016.

Please God, don't do that.

I've already announced it and I'm like the God of this podcast. Just take a minute. And stay, subscribe to the Patrion because after this, we're going to do an after school special where we talk for 20 minutes and we're less on. We're just ourselves and we don't do...

I don't know. Do we have to do that part too?

No, you guys can go home.

That's when we start doing ad reads.

You guys can go home, don't worry. She's like, But I've been on the YouTube for 45 years. I don't want.

To do it anymore. Do we have snacks? Did you order snacks?

Oh, yeah, we have snacks. I'm actually really hungry. I'm starving. Thank you guys. And, Alyssa, tell me what you want to say.

Bye. Happy birthday, Jared.

Happy birthday. Oh, hey. Happy birthday, Jared. I forgot about that. The big 25. Good job, kid. Thank goodness. Let's get these guys out of our house.

Good.

Job, guys.