Welcome back to the segment called Zach's Thoughts.

These are some thoughts.

I had this week. I haven't added anything to your shit Zach says list in such a long time.

You all got any decaf depression? The regular stuff is a bit strong.

You should thread that.

Girl broke my heart so bad, I almost wished on a star to take away women's right to vote.

You should also.

Thread that. Held back. Better be glad I'm a good person.

What would the girl do to break your heart?

Baby girl, I'm trying to flip you over and slam you down on this table like I'm the first one done with my minute math test.

That's a good one. That's nostalgic.

I can never make her happier than a Dyson Air Rap Styler, and I need to come to terms with that.

Yeah, I don't think.

Anybody can. My rapper name would be Alcoholic Stepdad because I go hard on the beats.

That's a.

Tough one. I'm trying to Happy Flag Day my way back into her life.

Is that when you text them randomly on a holiday or their birthday?

I tapped your head in duck duck goose, sweetheart. Of course, I'm interested.

Okay, for all the elementary school kids out there.