Lemme date cat Williams. Love it.

Catwoman tastic.

The first thing I said is, I go, I hope we're good, because last time they made me play from the tips, which is the farthest ones, and he goes, people don't make you do anything. You do what you want in life. I go, oh, boy. So it's gonna be like this. So it was actually. It's like a slow down, Chris. Rock on 33.

Wisdom. Wisdom alert.

Hi, everybody, and welcome to superfly here.

What I hear from people, I just want to eavesdrop or superfly on the wall. You guys talking regular? So here we are.

Yeah, we don't know we're talking regular. Some people don't know. There is superfly, which is the video component, and then we have the regular fly on the wall. But, Dana, I'll get right to it. I just got in from a Netflix as a joke has been going on in LA, so there's a lot of comedians in town. Crazy shows.

It's crazy.

And so it's fucking bananas.

Fucking nuts.

And we'll talk about the roast in a second. But the first thing, I did, a golf tournament, just for shits and giggles, and I said, team me up with a comedian, because I don't know if you've done charity golf things. I do it. I'm not really a great golfer, but they're like, oh, for sure. When I do regular ones, it's for charity. And then you get there and you're teamed up with four contest winners. You know, four charity people that donated. And the guy's like, who's your Bob squank Meyer? And I'll be with you for the next five and a half hours. And it's not even a meet and greet. It is in your cart with you. So now you make up jokes or you just go out there and just wing it.

So, you know, Bob Squank Meyer has seven Netflix specials. I just looked it up on my.

Oh, he's a real guy.

Oh, Bob.

Killing it. Oh, Bob.

He's rushing revolutionary.

That's on my regular. Just, do you want to do a charity golf tournament? Which are all very good and well, and I've done a lot of them, but sometimes it's hard because then they get wasted, so.

Right. The 19th hole starts early. I. Why can't. Why does it golf for charity? Why couldn't it be checkers in an air conditioned bar? It's just a checkers tournament.

Yeah, that's what you would be good at, like Sudoku or something. Tournament chess.

I get my kings going, I'll get my kings. Fucking my kings going, man. Get my pawns marching forward, pop. No, that's. That's chess. That's too sophisticated.

But today's was easier because I said, there's comedians involved. And they said, oh. I go, I don't want to do it. And they go, it's all comedians. A couple of athletes. So it wasn't really pair you up with four total strangers, which is fun for a while, but it's more like. Because one's always shit faced. So they go, oh. And I said, oh, how about I could do it with Bill Burr or put me with. I think Andrew Santino was there. Naper got you. So I said, there's a bunch that golf. So. And they're doing it. So they said, okay, great.

Tina was golfing. Tina Fey.

No, she wasn't there.

Oh, okay.

It was just, well, you knew most of the guys. So I get there, and I go, where's my squad? Oh, I also said Rob Lowe. So I see Rob Lowe. Are we together? No. I go, don't do this to me. So they pair me up. But it still is fun because I wound up being with Keenan Allen, who's a wide receiver for the Chargers, who I know we have my fantasy football team. Great, grand, wonderful, good, good athlete. And it's a scramble not to lose you with the lingo, but it means everybody hits, and then you take the best ball. And I'm like, oh, that I can drive. And then these football players will drive it farther, and then we take their ball, and I look good.

Maybe you should be the de facto putter with your neck.

I was. I was chipper putter. And.

Yeah. So you're lethal with a putter in your hands.

I'm actually good. There's sometimes I come alive, and it was a really nice course. So I get there. I'm seeing. I see Nate, I see all the guys, and then I go, oh, I'm here waiting for Kenan Allen. No show. No show doesn't come.

Oh.

So we're in a foursome, but the foursome is Lemon day. Cat Williams. Love it.

Cat Williams. Fantastic.

And blake griffin. And so cat goes, amen. I can hear your voice all day.

I'm listening to your comedy all my life.

He was so fucking funny, and he was great, and he's all. And he's getting so in the news lately with all these things, and he. The first thing I said is, I go, I hope we're good, because last time they made me play for the tips, which is the farthest ones. And he goes, people don't make you do anything. You do what you want in life. I go, oh, boy. So it's gonna be like this. So it was actually. It's like a slow down. Chris rock on 33.

Wisdom. Wisdom alert.

Yeah, he gave me something. I go, keep it coming, dude. Cause this is what I want.

If you can't keep your head down, nothing's gonna go right today. Yeah. That was my best cat.

It was good. Cat is a tough one who. He's got a very unique voice, and he was a lot of fun, and we did pretty good, actually.

But I know we were talking to our friend Jerry Seinfeld recently about goats, and every once in a while, someone kind of owns the space of stand up. Chris Rock has had multiple times doing that, late nineties. And we talked about Chappelle and Louie and Sebastian, but there was a time where I didn't know who Katt Williams was. And it was his first special on Netflix. And I said, he reinvented the form with his physicality, his rhythm, everything. So I would put him right up there with anybody.

I asked Chris Rock, because I said, did you see him on this? Whatever. And he goes, this is a couple of weeks ago. And he goes, he. That first special came out, and it really, you know, a lot of people, their first special is the one, because it introduces you to such a wide audience, and then you do specials after that. But the first one people, well, there's.

A little bit of a story behind that, because I was getting ready to do a special when that came out, and I like to keep things kind of not super locked up, like just a head moving across a giant 60 inch Panavision. So I love the way his first one was shot because he's very physical. He's running around, he's wide, he's using the mic and tying up like a horse with the chair and all this panama, you know, and I go. And I said to the Netflix guy, man, I love the way cat Williams special. He goes, well, we didn't do it. We weren't too happy with it, but we put it on anyway. He did it off label, maybe paid for it himself.

Oh, yeah. But, yeah, a lot of comics do it themselves, and they sell it. Yeah, yeah. It's probably the way to go, though, if you did it right.

Yeah, that's inside baseball right there.

Well, then they all don't look the same. That's good. You know? You like that idea, too, I think.

Well, I don't like, too much cuts. I don't want to be in a, an imaginary chair in a theater that flies. So you're watching a guy, like, waist up, all of a sudden he's tiny. Then you're coming in the chair right into his face, you know, like, all these cuts every second. I like to hold for a little minute. Yeah, I'll direct your next special.

I think I'm doing one this year.

Yeah, I think I'm going to direct it.

Also. They also, I like in movies like Tarantino, they just hold on a two shot with people talking and never cut in. Just let's, let's listen to them talk. I get it.

Woody Allen kind of, they call it the moving master, where the camera's just moving. It's a three shot, it's a two shot. And so you're not editorializing for drama. You go smash cut. The monster just came. But for a comedian, if you go smash cut to their face, here comes the funny. You know, there's a reason the cowboy shot. David, explain the audience. What the cowboy shot.

The cowboy shot is waist up, is.

If you had pistols on, they'd be sort of mid upper thigh. So that's what Johnny Carson, you know, Jack Parr started with this. Jimmy Fallon does it now. It's basically the one person who had it better than most was Letterman. Do you want to know why?

Yeah.

Because Letterman had the, the camera was actually on the stage with him, and he could walk into a close up, so Letterman could be back.

He needed it.

And people do it. I think Fallon does it, but that's very effective that he's moving closer to you going, that's what I'm thinking. Then he moves back. For people watching this on YouTube, it's like, hey, you know what I mean? And then back here.

Yeah, I like that. I like that. I like to teach. Thank you. Also, the roast was recently.

Yes. Within the last few days. It's reverberating all over the world.

Yeah, I think I was, I think kat did a live special on Netflix the night before the roast, which I.

Saw some of that.

Interesting. And then they did. They're, they're moving into more live.

There are things going on that I.

Gotta tell you don't want to know about.

I was just, what I was watching on what Chappelle always said, if you can't be funny, make sure your topics are really interesting. So cat always goes into some global whatever motif. So you're instantly going, what is he gonna say? Things are happening that you don't know about on planet, you know what's funny.

Is, you know, my neck, my neck gives me trouble. We're golfing. So I'm starting to push out toward the end, but I don't quit. I just say, I don't think I'm going to drive since we got powerhouse Blake cracking them through.

You're not a quitter.

I'll just say, not a quitter because he goes, we need you. So I said, okay. So we get up there and I don't take a drive. I don't take a drive. Then the next one, it's a par three. And he goes, I think you can hit the green from here. So I crack one about 2ft from the green and he goes. And I go, oh, yeah. And he goes, this guy was in a hostile asshole and now he's jumping around like he's King Kong.

It's so true.

I was in a hostel because my neck hurt and I was like, I don't know.

Have you ever golf with Bill Burkus? His Persona on stage would be like, you know, why do we have golf teeth? Yeah, you brought your head up. You brought your head up every time. You got to keep your head down.

I will tell you, I saw Bill, he comes in late, what's going on? We going, what are we doing? We all go at the same time and he's got his shirt untucked and he's got like drawstring sweats slash pajamas. And I go, oh, I think because it's Riviera, you gotta, you gotta tuck. And he goes, tuck in what? I go, tuck in your shirt. I don't care if you do. Ah, fuck. Do we, what is this? There is drawstring out. I go, I don't think they want that either. I go, I got called in. I had to go buy shorts one time or pants because they, I had black sweats. I was cheating. And they go, don't try to pull sweats on us.

It's with a cart. It's $1200 for nine holes to play there. And you got a guy, jaws, pants and a tank top holding a bud light with just one club. Let's do this. You know? Yeah. It's like happy Madison cannot play.

Exactly. People live on the course. And I always go, you don't want to live on that first hole because 06:00 a.m. You're getting your coffee and you hear some guy shank it and go, cunt. You're like, oh, I know.

I once had an apartment and I looked over the first hall where they would tee off and I'd open the screen door. It was in Hancock park in the morning, I'd be having coffee, and I just hear, fuck.

God damn it.

That's all I heard over and over again.

Shank, bitch. Yeah. Okay, we'll talk about the roast quickly, then we'll get into topics, you know. But the roast was very good. You liked it, didn't you?

Well, just to get into it from a different angle, like, they've been having these for about 60, 70 years. I'm assuming they had them in vaudeville. It's a very interesting, psychosocial. When you would watch the Dean Martin roast for you people over 70, it was, it was cute compared to this. Now it is. You can't help but it's a reality show that's so intense. I mean, it was, there were moments that were amazing. And you always wonder, the only question I'd have for Tom Brady, it's been a few days later, are you glad you did it or wish you hadn't done it or have no opinion?

Right. My question, Tom, is it's not. It can't be the money. Someone's going to say they threw a lot of money at him. It can't be the money because he's got too much. He'll never spend it. He'll never get to the end of it. So I think theory, but I want.

To hear your theory.

Oh, my theory is it, first of all, it's fun. It's, like, authentic. You get to see behind the scenes. You never see Tom Brady say fuck. You never get to see him with his helmet off for more than ten minutes. Like, that was fun for me. Great looking chiseled and sitting there and taking a fucking beating. And from some people he didn't know. And that's the hard part for me. If I wouldn't do that part, I wouldn't get roasted. And even if I did, even if it was people I knew, you don't want to get. If people go too deep, they can't help it.

Well, yeah, you know, it's all. It's, it's. It's one or two things. Either you're getting roasted and you don't have kids that are young teens, or you're getting roasted and you have kids that are young teens. So it's. They might as well be sitting next to you on stage. Cause it's just gonna blast out. So, you know, marriage and all that. The only thing I can think if. If Tom Brady at night ever checks comments from freaks, that would be a version of that show going at him at all these angles, because he's really good looking. He's worth a billion dollars, and he's the greatest athlete of all time. So he invites jealous hatred. These comedians just wanted to come up with the best joke. You can tell that no one, they all love him. But, like, the game of, like, what Kevin Hart came out with, laying the ground rules. Nikki Glaser came in strong. I mean, there were a lot of great jokes and hard to land in that audience, so.

And you want it to be concise. You want to do something no one else is doing. You don't want to overlap. Um, we'll get into that because we have Nikki on fly on the wall. But, you know, the fact that you, I've done a roast and I've actually done one, and when you're, I was the host, sort of like Kevin. Yeah, they've, they've gotten rougher over the years. You thought they were rough, but what.

Wasn'T just me, right. It's getting.

No, no. One of the overarching points is, I thought a theme was non pc is back. I mean, that, that crowd was a lot of people, and it was a great crowd, which is very hard to get. Almost everyone did well. And you can't sweeten it.

It's lie in a long show because you're following people that have destroyed, just killed, and then you're coming out and a lot of, there has to be some overlap. It's going to be about the jiu jitsu guy with the wife, and it's going to be that maybe he's gay or whatever it is. It's no holds bar. But that was completely unwoke.

Unwoke. For sure. It was crazy. And everyone was going along with it. And there was some jokes that were crazy. Um, I thought Tony Hinchcliffe, who does kill Tony, the thing I told you I did about a couple weeks ago was, was he did a really good job because, you know, no pressure. He comes out of the audience, you notice that they don't really know who he is. He isn't a household name. He does something with Dana. Then he just walks up with a mic and he starts talking, and you're like, what is he doing? And then he says something about Jeff. Then there people like, oh, this is kind of funny. Then wham, wham, wham. Then he's like Rodney King, liver King. Remember that run? Yeah, that was great.

One great, great jokes. And you're right, it does soften it a little bit. And you're coming out of the audience, who is this guy? Rather than, you know, just expectations or they're sitting up there. I mean, I think I saw Nick.

She.

She kind of did a big sigh on one of the wide shots before she came out because the, you know, it's all these celebrities. You're seeing Kevin Hart kill, and it's going on and on, and Jeff Ross, and then, you know, it's a little nerve wracking, dude.

Honestly, I think when I did the roast, you're supposed to do seven minutes or six minutes, and everyone last night did 15. I mean, it went forever. We'll get into that with Nikki. So you have to switch over. By the way, I ran into Drew Bledsoe today, and I was like, you must be. I said, he did a good job because for someone who they don't really know, for a casual viewer, Drew Bledsoe goes integral in the story of Tom Brady. And I think it got explained. But definitely going there to be like, I don't know, to show up there.

Is hard, but you're mixing professional athletes with professional comedians. It's not a fair fight. Just like comedians get their ass kicked on the football field.

Yeah, but even said, we goes, the athletes, I think, did better than the comedians would do playing football. And I said, okay, there you go.

Yeah. So I thought he handled himself great. He did.

I thought he was cool. It probably is 10ft tall. I walked up as I. He goes, how are you, Drew Bledsoe? I go, oh, shit. You were just on the roast, dude.

Oh, he's not one of those pipsqueak quarterbacks. He's an actual six four.

Some of them are a little smaller.

Yeah. Five nine and a half, 160 running out of the pocket.

Yeah. Kyler Murray plays for my cardinals, and he's four one. Anyway, warmer, sunnier days are calling. Dana. Fuel up with factors. No prep, no mess meals meet your wellness goals in time for summer, thanks to the menu of chef crafted meals with options like calorie smart, protein plus, and keto factors fresh, never frozen meals are dietician approved and ready to eat in just two minutes. So no matter how busy you are, you'll always have time to enjoy nutritious, great tasting meals.

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Hey, David, can I ask you a question? Go right ahead. Why do you want to learn a new language? Where would you use it and how would it come in handy?

Well, I think I have to eventually go to France or go to one of these places and be a world traveler, get a crowbar, my wallet, and spend some money. But I'm a little nervous about going without knowing a language. And that's where Rosetta stone would come in in that scenario, because, yes, that's probably the best way to get in there, learn something, get the basics, and more than the basics if you want, but this is the place for sure.

Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or. It's an app.

Yeah.

And it immerses you. You know, that word, David, immerses you.

I've heard of it.

In the language you want to learn.

So it's not just like, hey, here's language. Repeat after me. It's like it makes you think in the language. It makes you talk in it. It gives you the actual local dialect, so you don't, you know, sound like a stiff guy.

Speech recognition, built in, true accent feature. Pronounciate the words.

True pronounce.

Like having a personal trainer for your.

Accent, by the way, 25 languages. So, you know, you got your Spanishes, you got your frenches. Yeah. Your Italians. Yeah. I mean, all over the globe. That's not. Doesn't stop there.

No, no. You can. You will never go to a country where Rosetta Stone.

You're not going to trip them up.

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Whoa, that's a steal.

I'm going to say crazy.

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Yeah, I'm just going to say it. Redeem your 50% off at rosetta stone.com superfly today. Oh, I just noticed today that Bernie Sanders announced at 82 that he's running for the United States Senate again.

He's not, is he?

Yeah.

What is he right now? Anything.

He's a senator. He's just running from Vermont. But it shows you the difference, because when I do Biden, I go a little more softer. Yeah, Joe Biden, what's ever doing?

He's fading.

When I do, Bernie, I'm a billionaires and the millionaires are taking over money. So you can see how well he's aging that he still screams.

I think he's learning, too. Sound like you're not old. So he leans into it and goes, louder. Biden fades out.

Biden kind of fades out. I was thinking of flight of fancy because Obama and Clinton are running around doing things, and just, just the idea of, how do they talk about Biden amongst themselves when they're alone, you know? Yeah, Joe's, you know, Joe's. Joe's good. I mean, Joe's good. Joe's good. Yeah, of course he's good. Why would you, why would you even bring that up? I'm just saying he's good. That's all. I'm just saying he's good. Well, of course he is. Everyone knows he's good. Right? I mean, he is good.

Right?

I just said he's good. He's very, very good. I mean, it's not a problem. Okay, all right, all right. Whatever. We're in agreement. Okay. He's good.

And no, nobody cracks, though. They go. But I mean, with the border. Exactly. They jump in. One guy gives a little bit and.

The other one goes, well, yeah, the border.

We should talk.

Well, I mean, sometimes, I mean, sometimes when, you know, he's maybe not the most articulate, you know, kind of. I mean, he's not quite sure what he's saying sometimes. That's all right. That's. I know, I know. He sits down and he just sits down. He looks off and he itches his nose, and I tell him it's not a good look. And he goes very slow. Sometimes. I gotta yell at the tv. Uh oh, here comes Bernie. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. I'm ready on day one to be president of the United States. That's a good.

Bernie.

Well, it's a lot of power. All right, well, we'll.

Doesn't that make you tired? I'd be. I'd be tired if I was Bernie.

I'm never tired because the millionaires. You know the funny thing this is now, Franken told me this. He would do the millionaires and the billionaires. We got to tax him. And then his accountant told him, because his book sold well, he's actually a millionaire. So he dropped millionaires. It's the billionaires. It's like a witch hunt. They're the ones we got to get.

Yeah. It's also we don't need any cops and they all have security. It's like, well, if you have 24 hours security, sure, you don't need anything. But normal people might need.

They're all guarded by a small army. We should defund the police. Excuse me. Get that Uzi out of my face. But keep it nearby.

Yeah.

Anyway.

But don't defund security. Cause I have a security team.

Yes. And so, you know, there's all that political stuff going on. We'd like to stir the pot a little bit.

Yeah, we're fucking edgy.

We are edgy. Doing the stuff that. Going places where other people are.

Our mayor in LA, you know, because there's crime here and everyone just running scared. But then she got robbed. They broke into her house and robbed. And so now she's like, fuck this noise, it. Sometimes it takes that. I don't want anything bad happen to anyone. But sometimes it's like, oh, it even happens. So then they get a wake up call and go, oh, boy.

Well, the mayor of San Francisco, I said, who knew that defund the police wouldn't work, so they're funding it again.

Oh, they said that?

Yeah. I'm all for just peace and harmony in neighborhoods I like. My goal for my government, you know, the United States government is to protect me from foreign adversaries, protect the country and then protect me in my neighborhood. Those are my one and two values. Yours is to dodge taxes. I think you said the other night.

I said, why are you hassling Wesley snipes? Because didn't pay 7 million in time.

That's a little bit of an accountant. Right?

Or someone I know. Some people, I don't know if anyone can, thinks they get away with it, but it's a tough one. You gotta. You can fudge and, you know, do your best within the laws. But, man, you do not want to get caught and go to jail for that.

If you talk to a tax guy and you just go, well, is that a write off? They go, could be. Well, is it or isn't it? Don't know. Depends. Why don't we just take it, see what they say?

We'll find out. When you get audited.

It's like interpreting the Bible or something like, yeah, I think so.

And then you get audited and they go, you're on your own.

Yeah, they. They audit Bernie. You're liars and your cheats. I pay more than my fair share. I'm Bernie Sanders. That's him talking to his wife.

Also, someone write in the comments on YouTube whether IR's agents can carry a gun. I heard that. Someone told me the other day, and I said, they cannot. Okay, Dana, I'm not going to tell you the golden bachelor broke up with his wife after three months because I don't think you're ready for that news. And you had so. Such high hopes for them.

I did.

But when all the dust settles and all the cameras go down and every night isn't a helicopter date and they have to go to Chili's and it's the grind, he's like, fuck, I'm out. It was that fast? Like, come on, dude. It's not all going to be confetti in the air. But he's like Vegas dealer tapping.

Yeah, I'm just sad. That's my statement on that.

Right?

They were. They were a cute couple. And I'm sorry that they broke up, because I think they could have started a family.

And I hope he doesn't date again immediately, because he apparently isn't ready. Okay. I didn't want to tell you this news. Everyone said, do not tell Dana. Everyone said it. Okay. This first little clip. Look at this. If Wayne and Garth conceived a child, it would be Skrillex, who's a DJ. That's kind of funny.

That's not bad.

It's not a video, but it was like, shah. Shah.

It's frighteningly. It's. Okay. Wait a minute. It's frighteningly accurate. He does look a lot like a swain, Wayne. It does. Garth, chill.

I'm looking at the Garth while you talk. It's pretty funny.

This is very strange. I feel funny, like when I used to climb the rope in gym class.

And it rubbed your wiener.

Yeah. You never say what it does.

Oh, you just get. You leave it open.

Just say that. Yeah. Right? Yeah. He looks kind of like me, but he's better looking. Because I'm Garth and I'm humble waning.

Garth at a kid.

What does that guy do? Is he a singer?

He's a dj. Dude, wake up.

I'm an old guy. I don't know. All the young people reference a dj. No, like Casey Kasem. A DJ. We all had a little record player. Did that make us a dj? I dropped a needle. Now give me a million dollars. Beep. Take me to a visa. I don't, like, like it. Bluetooth. We had blue teeth. All right, go ahead.

Okay. No edits.

All right. Don't hit it yet. Wait, wait, wait.

I don't know what this is about. Oh, yeah, this is kind of funny. This is. Just watch it play out. This is the mom giving the guy. Be safe driving. We all do this. All right.

Okay.

I'm sure it'll stop. Here we go.

Love you.

Love you. We'll talk more. All right. Drive safe.

Yep.

Parents are always worried if you ride because there's a lot of dumb drivers out there, and, well, true. Definitely wasn't wrong. Yeah. Look it. After she just told him. And here's the surprise ending.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jacob.

Fuck me.

It's his mom.

Oh, it's his mom.

His mom hit him accidentally.

I didn't even get out of the way. I didn't even see you. Oh, my God.

Oh, isn't that funny?

Man, that happened too many times in my childhood to laugh at.

Your mom would run you over.

Mom? No. My mom was too nervous to drive on the freeway.

Oh. When you were a kid or call.

Long distance, you just had anxiety, you know, people are people. They didn't have. They didn't have antidepressants. They said, here's a glass of water and do some push up and get out of my face. Rough it.

My dad used to say. I go, dad, I got a headache. I've been working for 8 hours. I just want to lay down before dinner for a second.

Rough day, Davey? You gonna make it? Why don't you lay down, take a little powder? Yeah, you got tough, don't you?

I go, yeah, I do. Asshole goes, hey.

Oh, yeah.

Always thinking I was like a puss. I'm like, I am a puss.

But, well, it was a different time. You know, parents were laissez faire. You didn't really see your parents much. You didn't hang out with your parents. You didn't have a phone to call your parents every second.

That's true. No, he didn't give us his phone number. I never knew that growing up like that was his scam. He would, we'd wait for incoming calls. Even though he lived a mile away. We didn't know where he was.

Ah, that's, we, we need to do a whole superfly just on that, David.

I'll start crying. Okay. The next dumb joke. Oh, this is funny. I thought you'd laugh at this.

Oh, okay.

Arnold as a, I think it's a motorcycle.

There we go. This is the race goes the different bikes. Yeah. Lose us. I like this. Someone's doing that. I see. When they go over the whoopty deals.

I got, there's different ones doing it.

Okay. There's two or three guys.

Idiots. And they're like, I think we got it on that one.

I think we got it now. We have a viral video. Yeah. And they'll never know it's me and the thing about here and there and the people. And I go over the thing and I go, I think the angle we.

Did work that it's going to go worldwide.

Worldwide. Let me tell you, I love one thing. I love about Arnold. He always, he still always says, let me tell you something. Before he tells you something, let me tell you something. You got to do push ups if you want to get stronger. Let me tell you something. You've got to eat protein if you want to build the muscles. Let me tell you something. Why do you have to say, let me just say it.

I like, what about when you said, hey, Seinfeld, let me ask you a question. He goes, quit saying, can I ask you a question?

I know, I know. I wanted to frame it so I wasn't interrupting, but don't, don't say you're going to ask me a question. Then he said he had a bit about it. He was working on a bit. One thing I have to say that really made me laugh. I don't know if he, that every review, which he got some good ones, and any comedy gets people getting frost shitting on every comment movie about Pop Tartar, every review had just sort of pastry references. This pop tart could be a bit sweeter, but this cake doesn't get baked. I mean, every single review was referring to dessert treats from the 1960s.

This cereal got soggy.

This, these cornflakes need a little more milk. And this unfrosted could have used more frosting. Hi, I'm Bill Fleec Flock for Time magazine.

Tony the tiger got hit with a tranquilizer gun.

I wish this tart was sweeter, but in the end of the day, it leaves you wanting to eat something else. Hi. I write for Newsweek. I went to Harvard.

Yeah, I went to Harvard. I'm reviewing this piece of shit. They go, hi. I asked Tony the tiger what he thought of this movie. And he said, it's okay. It's spotty. It's choppy. It starts out of the gate. A lot of jokes. And you're like, tony the tiger's talking more than he used to.

I know.

He used to just say, it's great. That was an old Hollywood minute joke. I said, I asked Tony the tiger what he thought of this movie. And he said, it's good at times, but it's a bit teensy, bit long. But I'd still go. I'd go again.

No, he's good time. It's so. So.

I thought unfrosted was good, and I was. It is.

It's a. It's. It's. It's a really.

If you haven't heard us with Seinfeld, we did a interview with him and it's over on fly on the wall. Check the listings.

Really, really fun. But he said, which is very Jerry. And he'll say, in the of thing. I can't wait to read bad reviews. It's very Jerry. Like, he was looking forward to it. Which is the best way to. Because it's a silly comedy, you know. I mean, what are you going to say? Either like it or you don't. I mean, it's only. They used to review Sandler movies. Like, Adam Sandler tried to make apocalypse now but he ended up with grownups. You know what they think his goal was?

Unfrosted is not. There's not one serious line in the movie.

It's like, unfrosted is no godfather, Associated Press, AP wire. It's no aliens.

Mine were like, if they had a good review, would be like, this movie really is a surprise. Like, it wasn't even really that great a review. And then the bottom, it would say, like, gurn Blanston from the Daily Squeep squad. You're like the Penny Saver. What is it? Anything we've heard of? No.

I want to do a short film. So some movie actor is just being driven crazy by these reviews he's getting by this guy. So he meets him in a restaurant. He's just super angry at him. He sits down, he goes, yeah, I just don't like. Your reviews are mean, man. The guy goes, well, I don't know. I just like to write them the way I write them. So then the guy goes, that's okay. I'm going to leave now. And I understand.

Yeah, that's probably kind of what it is.

All right, load them up.

Hang on. Don't place. Don't do it yet. Let me see if I can set it up.

Okay, set this up, because I have no idea what this is.

I don't even know what this is. I send them. Okay, let's just play it.

That employee framed his boss, but how he did it should honestly terrify everyone. Dzondarian was an athletic director at a Baltimore high school who wasn't getting along with the principal and wanted to take him down. So he released some audio of the principal going on a racist rant. Here's just a small clip of that.

Ungrateful black kids who can't test their way out of a paper bag.

This audio was sent to media outlets and posted on social media, and it spread wildfire. The principal started getting doxxed, was receiving death threats, and was put on leave, losing his job. The principal denied it all, but there's audio evidence, so it's pretty hard to deny, right? Well, it turns out this was all AI generated by that athletic director.

Just needed a few seconds of the.

Principal'S real voice to have artificial intelligence clone it and generate a fake racist rant.

That's it.

Wow, man. The future AI. I'm gonna go grab the real Dana.

Because I feel bad about this.

Hold on, I'll be right back.

It's more like AI auto.

Hey, what happened? Did we.

Did we start by, oh, hi, Dan. Is that the real Biden?

No, I just got in. I had technical issues.

What happened? We were just talking to someone that we thought you. There was a Dana guy.

It's scary.

I'm still doing it. There was a Dana. No. Did you hear when I said more like AI oughta.

Do you know that I had a catchphrase on? Say, I tried to make a catchphrase the first season. It was like a gangster guy, and it was like, kind of a gangster guy, and it was like, well, I oughta pound you. Well, I oughta pound.

That sounds familiar. Maybe you were saying it because I didn't.

I maybe did it twice. I did it in the Steve Gutenberg show and Lauren. Oh, you did it, and Lauren was into it. It was a sketch. Um, I think it could be. Could be a national catchphrase.

Could be.

Why I oughta pound you.

I like you kind of come down.

Pound I oughta pound you. I must have seen it some 1948 movie starring John Lovitz when he was a fetus.

You know what's funny is seeing Chloe Feynman. Oh, she's. Hers hasn't aired yet. We just interviewed Chloe, and she's on.

Fly on the wall from Saturday Night Live, Chloe Feynman.

And then she said dua Lipa was coming on, and so we were talking about what the promos were gonna be. She had to think of an impression. And then, like, the next day, I saw her with dual leaf, but they were doing the promo, and she had to do an impression over.

So all you do is just say if you can't do the impression. I've said this before. Always say the name of the person you're doing. I'm Dua Lipa. Oh, I'm dua Lipa. And then you're halfway there, but just say the name funny. You'll be free. No, the AI thing. The future is arriving, and it's kind of scary. Although if they get the digital down, we can make a brown, brand new Wayne's world three that looks exactly like Mike and I in our get up, circa 1948.

Turns out looks like claymation. You're like, that's not good enough. Like the California raisins.

AI, fuck this.

Okay. Yeah, fuck AI. I'm pissed at it. That's my stance. Okay. This one is. I'm still. I don't even know what I'm showing. Is this funny?

That's good.

Oh, you can stop it. I think I was saying how bad music is.

Well, first of all, it was compelling. Second, had a good beat. I actually. It drew me in another song that.

A girl made up that comes viral.

But it's totally different.

I don't even know what I was thinking when I said that one. I thought it was so stupid. But there's worse, and we all agree there are worse dumb songs. But don't pull it up. It's too hard. We'll do it next week, so we'll pull up a dumber one.

We're looking at looking at way too much stuff.

I know.

Do you ever. Your phone scold you? You were down last week. You only spent 7 hours a day on the phone looking.

I know. When I see that, I go, shame on you. Oh, you've been on the phone 23 hours a day. I'm like, we got to pump them numbers up.

Well, I've got an exercise ring. Well, you didn't do so good today, but there's always tomorrow. Just because I don't have my phone in my pocket, I walk 9 miles, bitch.

People, I say I put my phone down, then I ran for like 2 hours. Yeah.

I left my phone in the car. And then I get scolded at night right as I'm trying to fall into magnificent rem slumber, and I got some voice scolding. Yeah. And then I get a girl to walk, then I.

And then I leave you voice text.

Yeah. Did you work out today?

Oh, yeah.

What are these two beauties?

I don't know if this is even anything. We'll cut it. Dana.

David.

Hey. We are your biggest fans. My name is James. It's my dad, Troy. Oh, it's a question for you. Absolutely. Take it away.

What is your favorite pickup line?

What's your favorite line?

We'd like to know.

We need to know. Thank you. Love you guys. Danny, you haven't done these for a while.

I'll steal Nicolas Cage. Because when I did the movie trapped in paradise with him and he saw an attractive young woman they liked, he'd say, if I were to send you flowers, where would I send them?

That's not bad.

That was a pretty good one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My buddy in high school used to say, this face is leaving in five minutes. Beyond it.

I would say, beyond it. It's more than one line.

Most comedians, you're right.

If you can make a woman laugh like. And, you know, I think that's the key. So what would be your opening line? Well, I'm David Spade. I'm rich and famous and really, really smart.

No, you say, hi, I'm Danny Carvey. No, you go like this. I'm sorry, are you in? Are you in 31 movies and five tv shows? Oh, wait, that's me. How are you? I'm Dana.

I would say the most attractive line you can say, which happened to me back in. Back in the day in the clubs. So I'm waiting to go on stage is packed, 250 people, and then a young woman would come up and start talking to me, and I. My pickup line was, I gotta go, and I gotta go on stage, stand on a platform, and pretend to be confident for an hour.

No, that's a good trick.

But seriously, greatest pickup line? Well, first of all, what's a. What's a bad one?

No, here's a funny one that my friend said that he was standing with Kevin Nealon at this hotel, checking in.

Nealon's got great lines.

And he said, and these two girls walk by, and Kevin goes, oh, my God. We were just talking about you two. Isn't that funny? Just two strangers.

Kevin has so many dry one liners. I'd say it's like, um, do you find me attractive? No, that's. That's me with my wife. What's yours?

Oh, no.

Ask Heather what's her favorite line from a guy.

Oh, yeah, Heather, have you had a good one from a guy? Before we wrap this thing up, most of my DM's just say, hey. No. Most of her DM's just go, hey, you got to give something else. Give a curveball. Even if you throw, like, you know, you know, a goddamn ferret, you could be. You could do anything.

Put a mirror, maybe self deprecating. Hey, I'm really bad at pickup lines, so what I'm saying right now is my pickup line that I'm not good at pickup lines.

No, I think if it's a DM, if you literally put anything, they know you're hitting on them. So it's not like you need a.

Whole soliloquy so no one sidles up in a bar anymore.

You're beautiful. Fire emoji. Fire emoji.

Can I buy you a cocktail? How about the glass of Chardonnay?

No. I know girls that say guys just do not know them. Just go, you want to go to Paris this weekend? And then I'm like, oh, that's good. Well, you were actually gone last weekend. They're like, yeah, I went to Paris. I go, stranger. Yeah.

I just don't want men to be judged by the size of their wallet.

Oh, yeah. What is that from?

That's from. That was Martin Sheen to Charlie Sheen.

Oh, yeah.

Wall street and the Michael Douglas Wall street. And he hit wallet so hard. I think we built a whole sketch on it. People just hitting one word, really, you know? Listen, I'm sorry, but I don't have any pickup lines. There you go.

That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Don't proceed. Don't proceed.

Okay. We learned a lot today. We learned about the roast. We learned about my golfing experience today, and we went over some stuff. I think we really hit a home run.

I traded from the sunglasses to the regular readers 13 times throughout the podcast. That was a record.

And we appreciate everyone tuning in. We love you watching the YouTube and leaving comments, and we read them and.

We hear you and we feel you.

Come see me on the road. Davidspay.com.

Come into what's the next town? Give me a date.

I think I'm shy. Las Vegas at the old Venetian with Nikki Glaser. And then, um, that's in, say, it again. Oh, yeah. Atlanta and Savannah and a couple others back east.

So how many times do you go back to a city and play?

I keep going. I keep going.

Like your 9th, Atlanta visit North Carolina.

I'm doing Asheville. I'm doing all these there. One in Kentucky. It's gonna be really like, beep boop, bop, boop, beep, pop, beep.

One question. I want you to do this on your next gig out there just because it'll make you laugh. It'll make me laugh knowing you're going to do it. You come out and you go, if it's Atlanta, what's up, Atlanta?

That's it.

That's your first line.

I do it anyway.

You do it every.

Every city. I say, what's up, Atlanta?

But like that, proclaiming it, like, what's up, Atlanta? All right, then, dudes, are you ready to party?

You know, are you ready to party? No, I talk. I talk about the eclipse for a half hour for some reason. But I had good shows. This weekend is a blast in Florida, so.

Mm hmm.

Big theaters. Theaters were real. I like when it's a really nice theater and they've got this buffoon in there and, you know, they did it for like some Tchaikovsky or something. Meanwhile, I'm like this.

Well, sometimes, you know, the sound can be bad, good or really good. If you get out there with a mic and it's the right balance between the monitors and you. And, you know, you can do this and then hit a line like, what's up? And go back and you know that it's filling the theater perfectly. It really helps. I played a casino last year, and it just, I thought, wow. But I went out and the sound was just fantastic.

You know, you get there and it's four card tables taped together, and you're like, oh, this is, this is going to be a rough one. But we do it. We love it. Yeah, we want some more of it. All right, thanks, guys. Thanks, Dana.

Thanks. Thanks for joining me, David. Hold on just a second.

What is he doing?

Hi, I'm Dana's digital copy.

Oh, you're going to say bye.

I'm saying goodbye on behalf of Dana.

Okay. Bye bye, Dana. Bye bye.

Bye bye.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Charlie Finan of Brilliance Entertainment, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.