Earlier this summer, I was driving along in my taxi when I picked up some weirdo who sparked a debate about food. Let me ask you this.

How do you take your hot dog?

I feel like I'm on a first date in prison. You'll take it no matter what. You'll take it the way I tell you to, chubs. You're my friend. You take it all night long. What just happened?

You take it in the top bone and the bottom bone.

I want to appeal my And the latrine. Now, listen to me. I'm old school. So if you want to have this talk like a grown up, I just eat it straight up. I don't do anything to it. No sauerkraut, no ketchup because I'm not five. Okay? I can abide mustard, but I don't bother with it.

Are you serious, dude?

Just the meat in the bun? Listen, the whole point... I mean, now it's really getting prison. The whole point of a New York City hot dog is to build your immunity system. You're eating meat that some guy was keeping in his closet in a store your Queens until he threw it in a cart, boiled it in water, and handed it to you in Times Square.

Dude, that is why the whole point of a New York City hot dog is to mask the flavor of the dead racoon you're eating. So how I take my hot dog is as much ketchup, as much mustard, as much relish, and as much sauerkraut as the bun and the thing will hold. And by the end of it, it's all over my face, all over my shirt, all over the sidewalk. And I don't care because I didn't taste the cola.

You eat a hot dog the way we dogs into eating their vitamins. Once I dropped off Emily Campaño, who still hasn't paid me for the ride, I decided to settle the great hot dog debate once and for all. So what do you put on a hot dog? Unpopular opinion, Ranch. Ranch dressing on a hot dog. Give it up for her. She smokes weed. I put mustard on it and some sauerkraut. Mustard and sauerkraut because you're not a devil worshiper. No. Actually, she might be a devil worshiper. That was a slow response.

Mustard, sometimes ketchup, sometimes relish.

Okay, if you're getting rowdy. It depends how many drinks in you are. Mustard. Okay. What does the naked cowboy put on a hot dog on the fourth of July?

I don't eat hot dogs.

Oh, hence the body. They go right to my head. A naked cowboy can't eat hot dogs, folks. I get it.

I haven't eaten them in a long time. I love hot dogs.

You do, though, right? You're pro-hot dog. I could be drinking 50.

I I love hot dog. Hot dogs are good, but I don't.

But part of the problem with being a naked cowboy, do you eat hot dogs? Yes. What do you put on them? Buns. Buns? What do you put on a hot dog? For me, relish or chili. Relish or chili? That's it. Relish or chili. That's a good living. That's a good hot dog, though. It is. It's a good. You like things spicy? I do. Because you got a lot of flavor. I can see. Yes. There's a lot of swag in this interview. What do you put on a hot dog.

Oh, man. No, you got to make a Seattle dog. You got to use cream cheese. Put the onions, the little grilled onions at the top. Carmelized onions. Carmelized onions. Then if you want ketchup and mustard, that's your business. But you got to make sure you got the cream cheese in You got to make sure the cream is called a Seattle dog.

Are you boys from Seattle? Yeah. You left out the fentanyl.

What I like to do is to mix it up a little bit. I like to put some mayo on that. Fit me on the bread. Make sure... Shut up. Let me tell them I like to do game. On the bread, make sure it's all soft and there's some butter, too. Fit me. We're going to toast the bread. Then we're going to toast the bread type, then we're going to get the hot dog. We're going to put mayo, ketchup, butter, shit all that.

Some of you might not recognize her, but she has a show coming out on the Food Network called You Got to be Stone to Eat This Shit. Well, that's settled. Pass me the Ranch and the Fentanyl. Jimmy. Still not sure whose idea it was to go up to Strangers in Times Square and ask how they like their hot dog. Half of them are like, You're not a cop, are My name is Adam, and I'll take a dare. Anyway, now that we settled the menu, we need to work on a guest list. My question for the panel is, if you were holding a summer barbecue and you could bring one celebrity, who would it be and what band do you think should play in the backyard? For instance, you could say, I'd bring Vince Neil because I like Motley Crue, and that would be fine, except they don't sing Girls, Girls, Girls anymore. It's now Them's Them's Them's. My man, Vince Neil, got so chubby. They now call him Vince Meal, which does hit home for Brenberg, let's go down your end. Who is the celebrity at the Brenberg Band?

I would invite Shannon Bream, and that's going to make a lot of sense when you understand the band that I'm going to bring to this event.

Oh, I get it.

Here we go in celebrity first.

I'll just give me... You have the floor. Take it away.

Because my band is Def Leopard for sure. As you may know, Shannon Bream is the biggest Def Leopard fan. You put Shannon and Def Leopard together, and I don't care what party you're throwing, it's going to be the best party.

That's a good gig. Absolutely. Did you have a reaction? You pointed.

I saw the photo on the screen.

Shannon Bream. She doesn't mess around. Link Lauren. Go with me on this one. I would definitely invite Kamala Harris because she always BYObe. She always has liquor in her purse and is down for a good time. I definitely invite her. If down for a good time was the barrier for admission, how did you leave out the Hawk, two of them? Anyway, Lydia, move on. Who are you bringing?

I met her husband at a party, actually. Me, too.

I was at the same party. I was at the same party.

He It was a bummer.

He looks miserable. You know the best part about Kamala Harris? Her husband is Doug. He's a very pleasant man. He has secret service protection in case he tries to get away. That's nice. Anytime a stranger comes towards him, he pushes the guards out of the way. He's like, Come on, man.

If you have social anxiety, you can just go and talk with your guards. That would make me feel a lot safer in parties. I was hoping that everyone else was going to say movie stars, and then I was going to be Ricky Dervace because he would smoke all of your movie stars because they're really good in making movie stars feel uncomfortable. And you like that?

Yeah.

I don't know. Celebrities intimidate me. I don't have anything to say to them. I think I'd want a comedian.

If it could be you.

Yeah, it I think we established that earlier.

I've been in one party with you. We're done there. Brett, who plays the party?

I'm going to go with the celebrity actor cliché, and it's more cliché because he's the muscle man. I'm going to go with The Rock for three reasons. One, we're going to have an excellent workout before the barbecue. Two, have you ever seen his epic cheap meal videos where he eats a year's worth of food at once? Yeah. There's going to be plenty of food. Three, The Simone heritage. When I was filming Young Rock, half the cast was Simone. I love that. We all lived in a hotel for six months together because it was COVID and there were rules, but they would always barbecue for us, the Simone actors, and the Simone food and Simone barbecues was the best flavored food I'd ever had in my life.

I was not in at the beginning of this story, but I am now. I'm in now.

To go with the music.

It landed. To be clear, the music is important, too. Who's the music?

It's the guy who did the I want a soundtrack for Lilo and Stitch because I want the ukulele and the children's choir.

But the revelation to all of this is we can't smell what the rock is cooking because it's the Simone. He's not cooking anything.

You're going to enjoy it.

Guaranteed. I don't think you want a barbecue. I think you want a lua.

Yeah. Yeah, this got very Hawaiian, very fast. Okay. Can I tell you who mine are? Okay. From music, we actually had him on the show. Tito Puente Jr. Was here because he was the Grand Marshal, the Puerto Rican Day parade. He was on our show with the only four white people who stayed in the city for the Puerto Rican Day parade. He had his dancing girls, and it was outrageously good. He actually has a doc coming out on Fox Nation. It's like the man who made us Mambo. I only know that because I have a cameo. I'm in it for about 18 seconds. But anyway, I love it. Mamboing? Atmosphirically, okay? Because I didn't listen to a lot of his music growing up, but it's so infectious for a party. Dude playing the bongos and timbales and the girls are dancing. It's atmosphere. You know what I'm saying? I think he's the guy. Of celebrities I've had on the show, I would actually say Tony Ramans, because when you bought him out after the barbecue, he can help me turn your life around. We need him. Pull yourself together, Jimmy. Pull it together, Jimmy. I got a book about this.

Anyway.

I have an important question.

Well, I have a break to get to.

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