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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my...

Go for it.

My gorgeous gigglers?

I feel like if I haven't done that, that's crazy.

We've definitely used gorgeous. That's the first time I've ever addressed the pod.

How did you like I didn't like it. You didn't like it? No. I like to just- No, no, no. It's scary. It's like jumping on the cliff. It's really scary. Yeah, you got to just go. We've been with each other all day, which is not normal.

No.

Since- It was supposed to be 11. I showed up at 12.

That's true.

But we've been together all day. We're working on a project.

We're working on a project that we're Easter egging right now. This is the egg. This is the egg that we're-We're frying up-Cracking. For Easter. It's a project that we have no business doing.

It's a project that's very off-brand for us.

A lot of people were like, Are we sure? And those people were us.

I feel like we never have inside jokes.

That person was specifically me.

That gigglers are not involved in. Yeah, it feels weird. It feels weird, but so we can't joke on it too much. We're just we're egging. We're egging. We're egging the Easter for you guys. We did it right. I'm excited to be here. I'm going to Paris tomorrow with my mom.

Wait, and We've never been.

Hopefully doing some vintage shopping, some croissants. Then we're going to London. I have tickets left for my second show in London. Go get it. Then... Sorry, I don't know what accent that was. I like that. Then going to Dublin. I had a second show. There are tickets available. See you guys there. How are you?

I'm good. I'm doing well. I styled an entire shoot today, which I'm really proud of myself.

You did amazing. Thank you.

I just loved all I loved finding the jewelry, sourcing it. I think that's what professional people say. I sourced all of our jewelry. Sourcing.

Like as if you dug in the ground and discovered an opal.

Yeah. I mined in a coal mine, and I found it. Okay, one thing that I wanted to talk about, which I can't believe we... Sometimes we get really fucked when we do Giggly Squad on Monday, because sometimes I feel like something literally will happen Tuesday morning.

Then we have to just froth at the mouth for seven days.

Then we're like, But the pot is going to come out in a couple of hours, and we haven't discussed this.

Then we're like, dumb-dums.

Yeah, and the gigglers are like, Obviously, they didn't talk about it because they're stupid.

What did we miss last week?

The Chief's football player giving that insane speech. I loved it.

To be honest, within five words, I couldn't listen. No, I didn't. I couldn't listen to it. I go, I know what this is. I don't have to watch it. I know what he's going to say. Then the girls did not fuck around. They ripped him so many assholes.

I mean, did you see the thing where it was like his mom is like a- A physicist. Very renowned, has done a ton of shit. Physicist? I can't even spell. What is a physicist? Because my first immediate thought is fizzy drinks.

She specializes.

She literally invented carbonation. With some respect on her fucking name. She's a physicist.

You know what? I don't know enough to tell you you're wrong. So I'm going to go with it. His mom invented Seltzer.

No, literally, Mrs. La Croix.

But it also was at a pretty... It was like Georgia Tech or a big college.

No, it wasn't a Catholic school.

But it wasn't an Amish Amish college?

No, it certainly wasn't an Amish college, but it was a Catholic school, but also like, Okay, I'm Catholic, and no one's been like...

It was literally Handmaid's Tale.

It was so cute that you had all these thoughts in college. It's over now because you have to be a wife and a mother, and that's the best job.

Also, where is his friend? Actually, they found Patrick Mahomes, who I love, an old interview where someone asked him about the kicker, and he was like, I don't really talk to him. I say hi and bye.

Yeah, because he's probably a fucking weirdo. Also, who at the college was like, who's going to give a great speech? A football player.

But you have to say he's not even a football player. He's a kicker. These are soccer guys who weren't good enough to play professional soccer, so they become kickers. That was mean. That was I mean, Savage.

I feel like that would really make men really sad.

But also it's a psychopathic position because you basically wait for the team to get to work their asses off, get CTE, get hit in the head, to be at a point where they can get a field goal. If you miss that field goal, everyone's mad at you. You have to be serial killer mentality.

Didn't they do a clip of all the times he's missed?

I didn't see that, but I would love to.

Yeah, it was a really good sports clip.

But it is an example. He was handsome, too, where it's guys- Which was sad. Remember, just because a guy's handsome doesn't mean he's not a horrible person.

If I had a nickel. If I had a nickel, I'd have a frigged nickel.

I think we have to remember that because that's the guy that at the bar, he'll be looking at your face and be like, Women shouldn't exist. You'd be like, Yeah, you're hot. Have you ever been talking?

Where you're talking to a guy and they say something so out of pocket, so beyond, and you're like, Wait, what did you just say? It doesn't even register in your own mind.

That's why with tall guys, when they speak, the words just...

You can't even hear it. They run right away.

They go into the wind.

Yeah, you're like, Sorry, what was that?

I didn't hear what he said.

You're like, I think that was really racist. And you can't say that.

Or they will be extremely boring, but you're so jacked up of adrenaline and dopamine of the plot of you making this man become obsessed with you that you don't realize that he's never authentically made you laugh once.

I also think that men in general, they're not innately going to root for you.

You love bringing this up. No, I feel- He is plotting your demise.

It was so clear in his speech that he was like, I'm all of this because you guys are second to men. You need to help us be even better. That's the part where I'm like, What?

And That's why women stop having sex in some marriages because they start being exhausted by this man that treats them like they need to take care of them like a baby. But also the whole funniest thing is that Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelsey because I'm like, Oh, should she just throw in her billions and be like, Actually, I would like to sit around.

See, he's in a different situation. I feel like he loves that he's dating someone that's really rich because that's just an easier life for him.

Yeah. I mean, but it's great to acknowledge your wife for helping you. But that was some old-school shit that all the girls got the ick from. I have a more important question. When you're going out, what order do you do things for makeup, hair, and outfit? Do you do makeup first? Do you do outfit first? What do we do?

I do hair, makeup, outfit.

I've never done my hair first. What do you do for your hair? Like your curves.

What do you do for your hair? Yeah.

Makeup?

Because if you're doing a hairstyle that needs to set- See, I don't do a hairstyle.

You know I'm doing a little wave.

It depends on the hairstyle.

All I do is a wave down the middle. So makeup, hair, last minute, figure out what I'm going to wear.

I don't like sitting, doing my makeup, feeling wet hair.

See, that requires you showering.

Correct. I shower after I go out. I thought we were implied. I thought the shower ahead of time was implied. That's on me.

I'll blow dry, but I'm not going to do it Not fully because also my hair doesn't hold a curl. Why are you acting like I'm lying?

I'm not acting like you're lying. I'm trying to figure out what do you mean. How are you blow drying it if you hadn't gotten in the shower?

If I do go in the shower, which I don't.

Correct. Glad we figured that out. Glad we figured that one out. Speaking of getting ready, I got that TikTok viral face mask. Have you seen it? The thick one that you're supposed to sleep with? I couldn't see.

It comes out like skin?

Yeah. Then you peel it off and it's just the plastic-y. I couldn't get away from it because it's my whole TikTok, and it's like, I don't understand. I'm still not fully read into TikTok shop. I'm not getting it. Everyone that posts like, Oh, and now it's on sale. If I see those mango peelable gummy bears one more time, I'm going to freaking lose it. Of course, I ordered them because I have to see what they taste like.

Alex or a ring light.

But all those people that are like, You have to buy this. You have to buy this. Are you buying it and they're getting the A commission?

They're getting a commission on it.

How are you getting to where they're giving, though? Because then I just swipe over to the TikTok shop, search it, and then buy it.

So there should be a clickable link right under by the caption.

I've never clicked on. I've never given one person credit for what I bought.

So you don't support small businesses?

Well, because I didn't know how to do it.

This is definitely not small businesses. It's definitely one huge factory somewhere with children making face masks. Here's the other thing.

I feel like everyone on TikTok shop is lying. They are. But then I had to get the mask, and I actually did like it.

Well, yeah, I got Snale Bucin off of it. People were like, It's either Snale Buston or just rat ejaculate. We don't know.

Isn't it crazy Snale Buston? Blip in the wind. We don't even talk about it anymore.

Done. Talk about a trend. Also, I just need to defend myself. People have been making fun of me because apparently I've been posting too many bath mats on the newsletter.

I haven't even caught on to that. You love a bath mat.

I am so obsessed with the bath mat because they can be It's funny and cute and color.

You have a very cute one in your bath and the blue one. It's blue. Thank you.

It's a little butt. Because rugs are expensive, but a bath mat is small and you could have fun with it and it won't be that expensive. I think people need to get on the bath mat bandwagon. Justice for bathmats.

It's so crazy. I actually don't have a bath mat.

So you just raw dog your feet on the tile? No, you don't. Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Well, in your new apartment, you don't have anything.

Wait, am I just out here raw dogging my feet on the tile? That's also unsafe.

You could get out of the shower and tear an ECL.

Yeah. I need to literally read the newsletter and get one of your baths.

Do you put a sticky thing on your shower?

No. Floor? Mm-mm. Because here's how I feel about those. Because I watch... Okay, this is very niche of me. I watch a lot of Japanese cleaning videos. At any given night at 2:00 AM, I could be at home being like, the Japanese just freaking know what's going on. They have just such good cleaning supplies. I don't know what it is. And they all have these foot cleaners in their bathrooms. And I was like, no, how do I not have a mat where I'm cleaning my feet or putting my foot into something and putting soap on and you clean the bottom of your feet? Oh my God. So I was very obsessed with in the shower bath mats for a hot minute.

I ordered.

How many? I think four. To see what... Well, they came in packs of two sometimes. To see what I liked. And then I finally settled on one. And then literally a day later, I was like, This is a breeding ground for bacteria. Get it out of my shower. Because I'm like, How are you drying it, though? I just got grossed out by it.

You're like, I'm a bath mat sommelier. I've tried them all. I know.

I could get these.

We never wash But then you're also like, My shower got very unsafe because I'm Italian, so I will shave my legs. Then I guess the shaving cream or conditioner or whatever I use, it just gets layered on the thing. The floor. Then it does.

He's not good at balance. He's already wobbling.

We know that. Some would say, I'm trying to get him to trip, but we had to get a sticky bath mat, which sometimes the bath mat moves. Look, marriage life is crazy.

That is literally the the TikTok trend of marriage is hard. Tell me how. You're like, Well, my old husband. He's like, Babe, I almost pulled this stuff in the shower because you're shaving cream. He needs a freaking bath mat.

Then I was clogging the shower and I was like, Oh, it's because I shave a lot. He was like, No, it's long hair.

You know what's funny is because we live in New York City and if you have something wrong with your apartment, you call your maintenance. Whenever I have something wrong and I call my maintenance, and they tell me what the reasoning is, I I literally act like someone else lives there. I'm like, I don't know. The guy came to un clog my drain, and he's like, Are you showering with a gel of some sort? I had just used a body butter, a shaving body butter that was like...

He goes, Are you using Saint Ives?

I was actually using Osea, O-S-E-A. Love Osea. No, I'm obsessed with all their products. And they have a really good... Poor Saint Ives just getting Not if you're Saint Ives, you guys are amazing.

Not for the turtles, but for everyone else. You're amazing.

Not if you're all clean, natural beauty, you're literal poison, but you're doing so well. We're so proud of you. Your marketing team is amazing. Maybe if you included me in the video, that marketing video, I would have given you more love. No, I love Saint Ives, but Osea is really my favorite in the shower. So they make this gel. It's like in a tub. Gel. It's not an exfoliant, but it's not a soap.

I honestly don't know what the fuck it is. You broke your building's plumbing because of Osea's body butter.

He was like, Whatever it is, it's like a gel. I'm like, It had to have been the people before me. I have no idea.

Once our sink broke and they were like, Oh, you guys need to get a new faucet. I was like, I don't know how to get a new faucet. They were like, Well, you have to. I was like, Then I'm just not going to use the sink. Then I'm moving out. Then I'm moving out. Because he was like, We can't fix this because the last person changed the faucets that we... This is, again, why I can't be a grown-up.

Some gaslighting.

But it's just like, Okay, well, if it's that complicated, it's just not going to happen.

Well, I have a garbage disposal, but it'll literally never get used because I'm not strong enough to turn the fucking thing. They're like, Oh, and you have a garbage disposal. I'm like, Who cares? I can't turn that. That's why we need men. That's why men are better than us.

That's why the kicker was right. That's why the kicker was right. I'll kick you in the nuts.

Exactly. Wait, I haven't What? This is not funny. It's not going to be a bit or anything. I have a literal hack that I'm trying out. Okay. Okay. Obviously, when I moved, I did a decluttering of all my clothes. I was like, I hate it. I hate it. Get rid of it. I'm done with that. It's over. So I was left with what I wanted to keep. Since my closet isn't completely done and I haven't put up my racks yet for all my clothes because I'm waiting for this certain kind that I want to come in, all All of my clothes are on individual racks. I probably have five individual racks that they're all on. So when I wear something now, I've started to put it at the very end of the rack so that when I go to hang up all my clothes, all know that at the opposite end is shit I haven't worn in at least two months. Do I really still need it? When you go to clean your closet out once a year or twice a year, if you do that throughout the year, the shit at very end, you'll already know, I never wear this.

Get rid of it. That is so good. Thank you.

That is so, so fucking good.

I've heard this hack before in terms of, when you put it back in your closet, turn the way the hangar is so that you know. But I always forgot to do it. I was like, I'm always perpetually trying to do that. But then I started doing this and I'm like, Wait, this is so easy.

I think it also comes with as you get older, you start knowing who you are because I used to keep clothes to be like, Maybe I'll be that girl one day.

Wait.

You know? Yes. That's why I was so bad at shopping. I'd be like, Oh, I'm different now. I wear this stuff. I'm cool. Then, of course, you're not that person, and you're never going to pull the uncomfy thing.

I went through a phase where I was like, I'm done with crop tops.

Who are you?

I know.

Because you were like, I'm maturing.

I'm mature. I'm like, I'm a woman. Then I was like, I'll fuck up a crop top.

Then you're like, I'll fuck up a crop top. Give me some slutty shit.

Then I was like, Wait, I forgot I like to be I'm an absolute whore when I go out.

You're just wearing nipple covers. I'm done with crop tops.

I'm done with crop tops.

No, I want to talk summer fashion because it's happening. It's upon us.

No, we're here.

We're here. I was just figuring out spring fashion, and now we're here. It's very overwhelming. I'm wearing the two tops. I'm wearing fun sets. I'm wearing little tennis dresses. I love how you made this about me. I'm wearing...

It's so funny because summer fashion right now is actually really in for the short, torso girlies.

That's not good news for me. Why?

Because longer tops are really in. So longer tops and pants or longer little vests with shorts are really in. I suffer from a short torso. So whenever I wear tops that are longer, it makes my whole body look longer.

I just realized something. My enemies are running the trends. Yeah.

Because not only are- Someone at Vogue.

For people who don't know, I have longer than Britney Spears' torso. If I wear a long shirt, I look look all torso. Then, you know what's in style?

Caprice and jorts.

So when I wear that, all you see is my nub of a calf, my wide nub calf, which is offensive. I can't wear a Caprice because it makes my legs look shorter than they are.

You could wear Caprice if you wore Caprice that cut off at your ankle. You just have to wear longer Caprice.

But at that point, it's just a short pant.

Well, it's a little bit more like a skinny pant, but not really. It's actually called a cigarette pant.

Okay, you just dropped some fucking knowledge. No, but I do. I would love. I think it's so cool when a girl is wearing those long jeans shorts. Yeah.

And a heel.

And a... Paige is something so volatile today. Do you want to tell them? What did I say? We're at this photoshoot, which sounds way more important than it is.

Wait, I'm still not even thinking of it. I'm like, what?

Well, I'm wearing my Crocs, Obviously. Yeah. And she go, Do you want to put on heels so you feel better in the photos? And I said, What twisted fucking riddle mind are you trying to project onto me? When would I feel better by shoving? Oh, yeah, I'd like to keep my left pinkie toe.

Because I was saying, if you have heels on, you just naturally stand taller, your shoulders go back. You're like, I'm in a heel. I'm like, I just thought- That's how I feel wearing my fur crocs.

I go, I've arrived.

How crocs hasn't... Mr. Croc hasn't personally reached out to you and been like, What you're doing single-handedly for our company while your best friend is simultaneously trying to take us down? Put some respect on your name for Crocs life. I'm fighting for Crocs life. I'm every single day trying to burn down their headquarters.

I'm trying to become the face of Crocs.

Yeah, I just can't believe they haven't said anything.

I think they're trying to figure out their strategy. And St. Ives also.

They're trying to redo It's giblets just for you. Is that what it's called?

Jibets. They've sent me jibets before, but it's a lot of admin putting it all the little holes. I feel like I would lose it. Do you think I could pull off one of those wide, long... But then again, in the summer, in the summer, I don't grab for jeans.

I don't grab for jeans.

Because that's Chafing Station.

I wore jeans the other day to get my nails done, and I was like, Who am I? Why is my toddler at the babysitter's and I have to go pick her up? I was like, What am I doing here sitting in jeans like an idiot?

I do have to say in my 30s, I won't fully walk around in public with an unbuttoned pant if I feel like it.

You can do anything in New York City. True. No, you literally can do anything. I had an Uber driver the other day, just full New York City. I feel most comfortable with an Uber driver that's pissed off. Yes.

Because- If they're happy, I feel like they're kidnapping me. Yeah, if they're happy, I'm like, Have you looked around? Something you'd be fucking Where are you taking me and why are you happy that I'm here? Because no one should be.

I'm like, Look at me in the rear view mirror again and you'll get what's coming to you. Okay?

I'll fart in this hot fucking car.

I feel most comfortable when I'm with an Uber driver that's like, I hate the city. I hate the mayor. I hate this road. That police officer is stupid. Why aren't we going? I like that because I know they're really worried about me getting to my destination. I was like, I'm not kidding, in the car for an hour the other day with this guy.

Because you live in Australia. Continue. Because you live in Iceland. No.

We pull up to the Upper West Side, and I'm not kidding, this man turns around in the back seat and he goes, Wow, it's really nice up here.

Yeah, because no one goes up there because it takes so long.

I literally go, No one lives up here.

Everyone's dead.

He took me from Lower East Side.

It's Apocalypse.

I'm like, Because you killed everyone in the car ride on our way here, sir. But it made me feel better. I was like, Thank you. I'm so happy I could make you happy at the end of this ride. At the end of the torture ride. He literally goes, I've never heard a bird chirping in New York City because there's one tree outside my building.

I do say, You know what intimacy is when- You and your Uber driver. Your Uber driver pulls a move that helps you- And you compliment them. And it's fully illegal, and you go, Good move, and it goes, Thanks.

If your Uber driver does a U-turn and you don't say, That was amazing, you're a horrible person. If you're in the car and your Uber driver pulls a move like that and you are silent- He doesn't have to.

He could take a sweet time. He's not going anywhere. Yeah, no. In New York, when they try to get around traffic for you, that's love. That's unconditional love.

I would say, Thank you so much. That was so good.

I go seven stars. Seven stars for you, Glen Coco.

Because they're doing their job and I'm going to- They're going above and beyond. Yeah, I'm giving them praise.

Employee of the fucking month. Or when you both get mad at someone doing something stupid.

Now, that's a bond like no other. That is a bond. Having a common enemy in any situation.

When you both hate the guy in front of you, you go, What the fuck was that?

Women are always getting terms like, Oh, you're a mean girl. You're such a mean girl. Or like, Oh, you're like such a bitch. You're so bossy.

No, you're calling out the situation. Sorry.

Having a common enemy brings the world together. Truly. One of my best friends, I met her while I was working at She was my Uber driver. We were working at ABC News. She was from my hometown. We didn't know each other because we didn't go to the same high school. We became friends the first day at work because we found out we were from the same town. We said one girl's name. We looked at each other and I go, I hate her. She goes, I hate her, too. And that's risky of you. And I was in her wedding last year. That's how close we became because of this one-Not the girl you hated. Oh, God, no.

But that's risky.

You know when you throw someone's name- She gave the vibe. We both gave the vibe.

You know when you throw someone's name out to see, can we go there?

If someone immediately says, Oh, my God, yeah. Don't say anything bad about that person. But if you say someone's name and they look and don't speak and then you look, You commonly hate them.

And then you're friends for life.

That's important. You need to find people where you hate the same people because it's just important.

Do you realize what we're talking about is very niche New York? Is it? Because everyone else has cars. Everyone in LA has a car. I'm assuming people in the Midwest have cars, people in the South have cars, people in Florida have cars, people in Texas have cars.

What are people in Chicago doing?

Maybe they're Ubering. Why did I look at Grace like she would know?

Grace, now that you bring up Employee of the Month, I feel like Grace is Employee of the Month every month.

She's CEO. What if she chooses who's the Employee of the Month, me versus you every month?

We need to get too competitive.

No, but she gives us stars. It's like, Why did Paige get a star today? It goes, Paige, you showed up an hour late.

Sometimes when I send the ads in on time, I'm like, Grace, did you want to tell me I did a good job? She's like, It's your literal job?

She was also, I work for you.

She was like, You pay me.

All we want is Paige to be proud. I mean, Grace to be proud of us. Is Grace to be proud? Yeah. My favorite TikTok video, do you ever see when they do who was Cat of the Week? And they go, well, Mr. Cat of the Week? Oh, my God. That doesn't come up.

No, sorry. I must have missed this in the anderen.

Okay, Mr. Fluffles.

Should everyone just know? You just said it like this was so common. Chris doesn't get to go, okay, and you see all the cats. He goes, Mr. Fluffles bit Mr. Fluffles, I'm like, I'm not fit.

Mr. Pickle's on the butt. He goes, Not the cat.

Not the cat of the week. Do all these cats live in the same home?

Yeah, he goes, and then...

Is it a pyramid or he's doing cat of the week?

There's literally lists. He's like, No. Then he'll be like, so and So broke a lamp and purposely shot on So and So's bed.

Wait, we should have done this when we were both on Summer House.

The cats are just looking there like, Fuck you, bitch. And then they're like, So the cat of the month goes to... Why can't I think of any cat's name?

Guys, we're really sorry. Hannah had to get up at 9:00 AM in work this morning, so she's a little out of sorts. She's not understanding.

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I have to talk about something that was brought up today that I just wrote down in the notes because it was upsetting.

It happened real-time?

Did I?

Me? Yeah. What?

Churros.

I like churros.

First of all, I didn't see that for you. Okay. But also, I feel like you've never eaten a full churro. I feel like churros is the thing with the first bite. You're like, Yeah, that's too much churro. No one's ever finished a churro. I thought this was a niche thing for you to be very concerned about.

They're going to say, I've never seen you eat a fucking churro. When have we been together where there have been churros?

I know you, and you would never eat a full churro.

We didn't talk about finishing.

But I feel like if you're going to like something, you have to finish it and be able to handle it. That's a rule you just made. Look at the rule book. Roll the tape.

If you like something, you have to be able to finish it all and handle it and not shit yourself.

If it's too much, if you can't finish it because it'll make you sick.

I've finished churros in my life.

I don't think that's true. It was half a churro. They cut it in half.

No, I'm going to tell you why I've finished many a churro in my life. Growing up, I was obsessed with cinnamon sugar.

How did you say dick?

Hannah, I was just about to talk about my mom, and now I I can't. I was going to say a lovely story about her.

Anything that was long and hard, I wanted it.

No, I love cinnamon sugar. When I was growing up, my mom would make toast with cinnamon sugar, and I thought she invented cinnamon sugar. I didn't know other kids were out here having it. I thought it was only something in my home that my mom put on toast.

I love how Kim was probably like, You're right. Yeah, 100%. The other mom's zone, they don't know. You think they do this?

They don't do this?

This is my magic sprinkle.

No, that is so my mom. I just love cinnamon sugar. Of course, I love a churro because I also love bread. I love a cake. I love a doughy.

But does it need to be a fried bread with cinnamon sugar on it. Someone offered me a churro with Nutella on the inside. I said, get that disgusting. What? It's gross. It's capitalism.

Nutella?

In a churro. It's too fucking much.

Your ancestors are somewhere rolling in their grates.

No, Nutella, I'm fine with. Separately.

On anything. I put Nutella on anything.

I know, but a Churros, too. Do you like donuts?

I love donuts.

Have you ever finished a donut? Yes. Has anyone seen Paige finish a donut?

Actually, I used to live by a Krispy Kreme and-What donut would you get? A glazed. Don't get me started, but I used to get a dozen. I would get really high, and I would get a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, and I would literally eat all of them. Then I was like, Paige, you need to tone it down. Then I went down to just getting six donuts. I would eat three at night, and then I'd eat the rest in the morning.

You know what it is? I want to formally apologize to the academy. I just realized I literally don't have a sweet tooth. I don't like sweet things. I thought that everyone felt the same way.

I have the biggest sweet tooth. I take dessert over dinner.

But you won't put sugar in your coffee. No. Who are you?

I don't know why. I just felt like Barbara Walters. I don't know why. I don't. I was just like, Where's the story about that? Crack is whack. What happened?

Can we bring that back? Crack is Wack?

I feel like I quote that a lot in my everyday life, and I shouldn't. I feel like at any given moment, I'm like, Crack is Wack. Crack is cheap. To anyone, they're just like, What?

But it's just like it goes. Wait, next time I do a college gig, I'm going to end it saying crack is Wack.

They definitely won't know because that's Whitney Houston. They literally would have no idea who the fuck she is.

They go, Stay in school. Crack is Wack. Don't do drugs. I think I yelled that once.

It's so fucking hot in here.

What's going on? I don't like... So the churros can be...

Don't even speak to us. Honestly, don't even speak to us.

Grace, do you like churros? Yeah, that was a normal reaction where it's like, Yeah, but I'm not going to go on my way to order a churro. It's like when you're at a group dinner and they have churros, you go, Let's get churros, and then you have one bite, and you're like, Okay.

If you cut them in half, they're really nice. If it's not as-And you prove my point. It's not as stressful.

So I was right. I was right. She eats half a churro. I was right. Yeah, but it's still eating a fucking churro.

I still enjoy it. Okay, let's take a minute. Calm down from that.

Oh, my God. I thought I accidentally deleted a note. I have something controversial that I read, but I think I'm going to misquote it. Okay. But people said statistically that women actually enjoy cheating more than men. Like, men will regret it and girls will be like, Oh, that was nice. Yeah, 100%. I think it's because girls do it for emotions and men will be like, right after they come, they're like, No.

Because I feel like girls do it and when they do it, they've been pushed. They've sat and thought like, Should I do it? Should I team?

Women plan. Men don't know how to plan.

No, they see a hot girl at a bar.

Women have seen every option, where it will go. They've thought it out. They've done a pros and cons list on their phone.

I feel like if they're making that in... Not us, four women cheating. Where's the Where we're just blindly supporting all women.

Gaelic squad made me stop taking my birth control and cheat on my husband.

No, I feel like women have done hypothesis, thesis, statement.

Conclusion.

Came up with scenarios. Evidence. They know if this man, if it's worth leaving their current situation. I feel like that's why a lot of women, too, end up with the person.

Yeah, and I think if you cheat, women do cheat for the high of an emotion.

It's less physical where men's, I feel like, is more of it. Did you watch the Ashley Madison doc?

I watched the Ashley Madison doc that came out. I think it was Hulu or Max earlier. I already watched it. I didn't watch the Netflix one because I already saw one. I felt it was redundant for me. But that's because I've been watching-A connoisseur.

Yeah, I'm a. I remember when that I remember. Leak happened. We were out of college.

They said they had 44 million members.

44 million?

I think it was international.

What is your... We're getting so... Political. What is your opinion when people are like, Oh, the company is bad. You're promoting... Because they were doing this thing where all these news press outlets were like, This company is the devil. It's promoting adultery. Blah, blah, blah. The company was like, We're not promoting it. People are going to cheat no matter what. We're just helping that. We're how they're doing it through. But they would have figured it out anyway.

Also, the news companies are just giving them more press.

Right. Then they were saying, they were like, We loved it when people were like, This is horrible because it was word of mouth of how we got- It was their best marketing campaign. They interviewed one of the customer service people, which was so insane. She was like, I would have wives. This is where I am like, I wouldn't have been able to do it as a girly because I would be like, He's cheating on you. And here's her name and number. She would say that wives would call and say, Hey, I have a charge on this card for $20. What is it for? And they would say, Well, you're not the card holder, so we can't give you that information. So wives would call back with their husbands on the phone and be like, What is this charge? And then they would say, We're a collector for a credit cards. We collect for multiple things. So we wouldn't know exactly what it's for, but we'll take it off your card and you don't have to worry about it. And then the husbands would call back and say, Here's a different card. You can put it on that.

That, to me, is the diabolical part. Yeah. Okay, you can be a company where it's like, Oh, we change what it says on your credit card statement, or you can book something through us. But when you're straight up, I wouldn't be able to have a girl call me and say, What is this?

Oh, no. I would never work for the company. No, I could That's crazy. I hope they were getting paid well.

But she said, then the woman was like, I actually feel the opposite. I feel like I saved a lot of marriages, which is a very interesting thing.

My thing is I definitely don't think that the website is ruining the world because it's true. If the guy wants to cheat, he's going to cheat. Because think about it, if my husband is going to cheat on Ashley Madison.

He's going to cheat in real life. He's just going to have to figure it out a different way.

Exactly. Even if he was Oh, this popped up on my feed, or someone told me to use it, I'd be like, Okay, you still did it.

Especially if they're going to cheat in that way. Because I think, not that I think there's a level of cheating where it's like, This is worse than this. It's all bad. But if they're going to go through a site, then they have the wherewithal to plan it. It's not like, Oh, I was just out with my boys, and I was so drunk, and this girl came up to me and I fucked up. It's not that. When it's premeditated, I think Or there's probably guys on the site who just want a message and feel naughty to- Here's the other thing. Guys love attention. They're attention-seeking losers. And women get attention just naturally. We just walk into a bar, guys want to have sex with girls. Not the other way around. We're repulsed. We're revolted. If they can get a ton of attention, they're going to take it wherever they can. That's all men I've ever met.

I think maybe also girls like more because there's definitely a crazy lead up to it where men will just can do it more like there was an excitement.

Well, I think also- Sometimes. I bet the statistic, I bet there's a lot more women cheating. They're just way smarter and they're just not getting caught? A hundred %. Because just think about everyday life in terms of men and women shit on your phone.

I just think it's so important for the gigglers to understand there is this rumor that in marriages, men get They get bored of their wives and they don't want to have sex anymore, where it's actually the opposite. We did research. I don't know what the research was. But that women just stop being attracted to their husbands because their husbands are needy and annoying.

Well, it's another child.

You have another child you're taking care of. You don't want to fuck the person that you're picking up their clothes every day. It's like finding a partner.

Are you crying? I'm literally start crying. No, that's so scary. Everyone tricks girls growing up. They're like, You're going to get married. You're going to have a fairytale. It's going to be beautiful, and you're going to live with the love of your life. It's really picking up their dirty clothes.

But you know why my marriage has been successful thus far? I don't pick it up. I put myself on top of it. I say, Thank you.

We got a new pile. He's so excited to ask me if I saw the inside of your apartment today because he was like, Aren't we both gross? Aren't we both messy? I'm like, What?

We can do whatever we want. We literally will eat dinner and then leave. I had a cottage cheese last night. Yeah. Didn't finish it, left it out.

No, sometimes I'll do things and Craig will be like, Whatever, we're the adults. Who's going to yell at us? I'm like, Wait, you're so right. Wait, this is for you crazy. I'm like, Wait, no one is going to yell at us. We could pee in the shower.

We could do whatever the fuck we want.

Of course, I'm being in the shower.

That was a Jimmy Neutron reference. Oh, sorry. That was a real throwback.

Do you pee in the shower, though?

I only pee in the shower. The second the hot water hits, it's going.

Grace, no, you're not peeing in the shower. How are you holding it in when the hot water hits? Yeah.

You don't get the urge. Do you pee before you go in the shower? The admin of... Also, you're wasting paper. Guys, wait. You're killing trees, Grace.

I'm peeing every time I get in the shower. Is that crazy?

The shower doesn't even have to be on. I go in the shower to be... I just said, Oh, my.

Wait. Natalie, nick Vial's wife. Yes. She said this on the pod. This is a couple months ago, and I wrote it down to bring it up to you, and then we literally never got to it. She said something and she was like, Oh, yeah. And then I flushed my tampon. And the girls were like, What? And the comments were all very split. And so then I commented because I was like, Wait, yeah, I'm flushing the tampon. No one's ever told me no. I mean, I got roast. People were like, Yeah, because you're like, stupid bitch. I was like, okay, I'm going to see my way out of here. But when I would go... Okay, when I first got my period, I'll never forget this moment. The first time I used a tampon, great. At home, I remember my mom saying, You take it out, you wrap it in toilet paper, you put it in the garbage. I was like, okay. Then I remember, I'm going to blame my aunt Pam for this. Then I remember being in public somewhere, and I had my period, and she's in the stall with me, and I took my tampon out, and she goes, Drop it.

I dropped it in the toilet, and I flushed it. From then I was like, Oh, we're flushing them.

Then on, You've been exploding pipes nationwide.

I didn't know. I thought the signs at different restaurants and places don't use feminine products. I was like, Oh, they have bad plumbing. I just thought they knew their plumbing was weaker.

No, See, my mom terrified me where she was like, If you put this in the toilet, the whole house will implode.

No, I feel like no one ever told me.

No, my mom was like, Everyone will die if you put the... But it's...

Because literally at 14, when you get your fucking period, you're not thinking, Oh, where does this go?

I'm going to say it because we're all thinking it. I've taken bigger shits than my tampon.

No, I'm not worried about it for a fucking second. Literally, I've gone this long. Nothing's happened. I've never heard of a toilet blowing up. I've never heard of them shutting down because feminine products, I think we're fine. I think it's something that the men gaslit us about. They were like, We don't want it near us.

You know what I think it is? When you have your period, you go through 100 rolls of toilet paper. I think it's a toilet who's like, Roll up the toilet and put it in the garbage. Also, or it's the dogs because dogs like to eat tampons because it tastes like a bone or iron. Some people's dogs are really into tampons.

My dad loves my underwear, and I'm like, yes. Low key, if your dog goes for your underwear and not someone else's in your house, are you like, yes?

Well, I, famously, I think it's because I'm sweating in my crotch. Dogs love my pussy. Literally I'm like, really? Dog just goes straight to my pussy. If I see a dog walker, I'm like, me, agree. Snip and go.

Every time that happens to me, I always get so embarrassed. I don't. I go. Are people around going to think I'm smelly? But it's really like, sorry, he's into it. If I had a freaking nickel.

No, but like... And honestly...

We're better for it.

We're better. I just didn't finish that sentence. I said, You finish it.

I can't believe you tacked me about a churro for 10 minutes earlier. Just not over it.

No, because we've all I saw that after it was all done, you go, Yeah, I only eat half churros. So I was right, and you lied to me. Anyhow.

No, but I've been wanting to bring up that tampon thing for so long, and I keep forgetting about it.

So I'm What's very similar to a tampon? Cashed it out. A churro. Have you... Do you put a churro straight in the toilet or did you wrap it up and put it in the cup?

Speaking of periods, this has been a very period, Abby. Did I tell the gigglers that I bled last week for a little bit? Why would you have to tell the gigglers? Because they're also on my period journey because I haven't gotten in in a year.

All the gigglers are insane.

When you bled- A little bit last week. So that's hopeful. So you spotted.

And that means that your body's back on track.

I don't know. Maybe it's slowly coming back. Okay, that's good.

So that's good. Keep us posted. Every plumber's upset.

They're like, Oh, it's coming back. Here's the other thing. I don't know how to rid my... I haven't worried it in a year, but I don't know if I can rid myself now of not flushing my tampons because it's so routine. But I need to stop.

Look, if you have a wide-set vagina and a heavy flow...

Also, we don't even wear tampons.

True. We think it's made up.

Yeah, it's made up.

It's like when it's raining outside, you're like, I'm not using an umbrella.

Yeah, if you manifest it, it's gone. It's in your head.

Yeah, you're wet in your head if you believe it. Okay, well, I'm not dealing with that. No. It's too much admin. It's like taxes. It's too much admin.

Cool. I'll get to that next month. Why don't you come back next month when we're more prepared.

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Wait, Grace wrote something funny. She wrote, How do you answer the phone? Like, What do you say? Do you know what my grandpa used to say? My If your grandma was so cute, he'd go, Yo.

Well, if I know the person, I say hi.

Do you know what moms love to do? They go, This is she. Does your mom do that? Mom's fucking live for that Why when someone professional calls, moms are immediately on the cast of Bridgerton.

This is she. This is she. I am Lady DiSorbo.

Can I speak to Hannah? This is she.

I feel like I'm trying to think, has anyone said that to me I go, Hi, we're looking for a page of Zorbo. I hang up. I'm like, No, she's not here.

Well, first of all, when someone calls me, I'm having a panic attack. I'm upset and I go, Hello? If it's my friend, I go, What the fuck do you want? I love answering, especially if I'm showing off in front of people, I'd be like, How the fuck did you get this number?

Wait, let's do our... How we do it? Let's not look at each other. Okay. Let's do our customer service voice.

Oh, my God. My customer service voice.

Okay, so I'm going to fake call you.

Who's the customer?

You're answering. Okay. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Hello.

That's so weird, boy. Wait, why is hearing your friend's customer service voice just so good? Who is that bitch? I don't know her.

Who is that? I don't know. Her name is Beverly.

Okay, my turn. You have to... This just feels better.

Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello.

Why is it so high pitch? Yeah, mine's really high pitch.

You act like you're nice.

But if it's you calling me or my brother or Greg or something, I'm just like, Hi.

Yeah, you're always like, Hi. Hello.

Yeah. What do you need? What the fuck? Could this have been a text message? Think of that before you start speaking.

No, true. I know. I feel like a phone call means I have to talk business with you. A FaceTime means something fucking insane happened, and a voice note means just keeping up.

Yeah, just keeping up.

And then I've been assaulting your DMs to the point that I feel bad, but I also need you to look at them because they're- No, I look at them.

You and Craig. Oh, my God. You guys are the same. You are the only two people in my life that are like, I sent you a video, did you watch them? I sent you this video. And I'm like, Guys, you're both main character.

This is the problem when you have a best friend. I don't know how Craig feels. I'm not going to speak for Craig because he wouldn't know how it feels. But When I'm just like, Oh, I'm going to scroll my Instagram feed, in three minutes, I've sent every single thing I've seen.

I love that. I love it. Because we page you by that. No, you're my mom on Instagram reels.

We have such a mass amount of inside jokes. That's why I started apologizing, but I'm like, No, they're really high quality. If I see a white cat that's particularly pretty, I have to send a page because I'm trying to get her to subconsciously, pretty consciously, get a white cat. Then if I see some inspirational, badass quote, I send it to you. I love when you send me outfits you want to see me in. Then an outfit that would look disgusting on me, but you would look like a literal angel princess. If you say, yes, I'd wear that, I'm in a good mood. That Tori Birch dress. I'm in a good mood for three days. So good. But I feel like I do know your style. You do. I think I could dress you and you could dress me.

You could 100% dress me.

Well, me, it's chaotic. I don't know if anyone could dress me except my new stylist, Tabitha Saint-Joy. Shut up. Love my life. I think she's getting creeped out by me. She's like, Thanks for talking about me on the pod.

No. Should I get a restraining order? Hannah and I had to do a photoshoot, and Hannah was like, We're not getting a stylist. It's insane. We're not doing it. It's so stupid. I'm like, Okay, we're not getting a stylist. I'll just do it myself. Three days later, Hannah texted me and she goes, Oh, I hired a personal stylist for the I'm like, Okay. Who? You were like, I'm going to hire Tabitha.

Oh, yeah, for my look.

Then you backed out.

Then she was like, You're creeping me out.

Then we didn't have to pay a stylist. That's GirlMath. We made money.

My leather outfit that I posted. It's so good. The gigglers are so funny because they are so in tune with what's going on in my life that people weren't like... Most people were just like, Okay, this stylist is a good job. Or they go, Paige would like this. I'm like, I know they're coming to me.

I love that outfit. I love it. Also, you should be wearing that color more. That is such a good color on you. It's not like a blue, but it's- It's like a teal.

Yeah. But like, crack it out.

It's really good with your hair and your eyes.

Thank you. So, yeah, the stylist is great, but I love how they just know that I've been struggling.

Yeah, you've been through it.

I've been through it.

Fighting for your life with stylists.

Fighting for my life. You would have been proud of me because I put it on and I said, I'm going to sweat really badly. But for fashion, to get any respect in the community for the pick.

You had a jacket on. You couldn't even tell you were sweating.

I'd actually prefer to be sweating with a jacket on than a little bit hot.

Or on my arm. The amount of times you've sweat on me is insane.

We'll be taking a photo, and whenever we take a photo, we look like an engaged couple. Yeah, lesbian couple. But where I am in my height, your shoulder always goes right into my arm.

I'm right in there.

It's moist.

I fit with you so perfectly.

My wet arm pit is not not a vagina. The craziest thing is when you feel something wet on your body where there shouldn't be something wet, you're immediately like, What is wet on my body?

You have trained me so much that we did that photo today, and you were like, Sorry, I was sweating on you. I didn't even clock it. I was like, Yeah, no, I know. No, I know because I feel it.

I sweat to the point that we'll be in a normal social setting. Everyone's normal. It's not like we're in an oven or anything.

We're literally roasting ourselves.

We're not in a tanning bed. We're just living life. We're outside. It's 40 degrees. This happens all the time. I will see a drip of sweat trickle down my arm pit, and I'll show someone. If someone's next to me, I'll be like, Look. They'll look. I don't know. I get off on showing people a sweat drip, and I get off on showing people hair on my thighs.

No, your thighs today were... I've never seen it.

You just walked by slowly, pep my thigh, and just kept walking.

I said that was- Because sometimes we're so opposite. You'll be doing something or you'll have something. Or for example, your legs will be super hairy. And in my head, I'm like, What is that like? I can't relate to it in any capacity. I'm like, So I saw your legs and I was like, I really need to know what that feels like on her thigh. So as I was walking by, I just felt it and then kept going about what I had to do.

So my question is, how was it?

It was really soft. It wasn't as coarse as I was thinking it was going to be. It's literally soft. I was like, oh.

What is that like?

But the only thing I can appreciate it to... Walk a mile in my Louboutons. Louboutons.

In my Louboutons.

Come and miss me.

Walk a mile in a Louboutons.

This is not the same as my feel. The only feeling I can relate to it is if I haven't shaved my legs and I get in the shower and I can feel the water going down my leg in my leg hair, I'm immediately like... And that's after four or five days where something tragic must have happened that I haven't shaved in that long. But I shave every day. I shave my legs every day.

I mean, it's exhausting. No, it does. I also was getting my nails done and I asked for the page to Sorbo. It's a The full pale pink. Who is she?

It's basically bubble bath. Actually, the one I have on is Essie Feejee.

I got it out of fear because we had a photoshoot, and I was like, If I do something stupid, she'll be so mad. I said, Just give me the pale pink.

Hannah, you know what's so crazy? Last night, I went to text you and say, make sure you have your nails done. And I didn't because I was like, wait. You tested me. I was like, no. Oh, you tested me? I was like, No. Oh, my God. No.

You were like, let's see if she fucking cares about me.

No, I was like, wait, that's so bitchy of me to be like, and make sure you have your fucking nails done tomorrow.

If it's late night, then it's like- Yeah, because I was like, what is she going to do now?

It was too late. I was going to say, did you get your nails done today? But then I was like, no, she- Because normally when I get my nails done, I post it. Yeah. And so I was scared. And we did have a conversation that we could fix our nails a little bit in post. I was like, She's like, Do my nails in post. It's fine. I mean, that's so hard.

Well, I was getting my nails done, and I realized that my arms are very hairy. But this is the thing. Life is about perspective. I just I thought I'm a human. I have hair on my arms. Then I realized some girls don't. But I feel like the hair on my arms is so cute because it gets really blonde in the summer.

Yours is way cuter than what I've seen. Mine was not cute. I would bleach my arms and it would be all blonde hair. Then one day I got them lazered and now it's like I have nothing.

Well, I think regardless if you have hair, not hair on your arms, you're equally beautiful. Don't ever get waxed.

Don't get waxed.

Don't get I've done it all.

Do not get sugared. I've never gotten threaded.

Never gotten threaded. I don't hate myself that much. Do people get their pussy threaded? No. Because it's so painful.

Well, I think you'd be there for hours. You'd literally be there for hours.

Imagine four women threading their pussy. Oh, so they put it through their teeth. That's crazy. You've never seen? What? Don't they use their teeth when they thread your eyebrows? No.

Have you Chris, can you Google a girl- There's in no situation, eyebrows threading. There's no way they're putting it in their teeth.

I think they floss while they do. It's like two for one. I'm telling you, girls- What mall did you go to?

Chris is like, Where did you begin with googling?

He's like, Pussy thread.

Thread? Google this. Eyebrow threading.

In teeth.

In teeth, yeah.

Oh, wait. Okay. A technician will hold a piece of thread Between their hands, occasionally with one end in their teeth and twist.

That's disgusting. It needs to be some type of HIPAA violation. I mean, in what world? I love when you say HIPAA violation. Yeah, me too.

We should say it more often.

I feel like there's a lot more HIPAA violations that people aren't talking about.

If anyone says anything, you go, Oh, that's a HIPAA violation.

Sometimes people are like, When are you going to have a baby? I go, Oh, HIPAA You're not my doctor.

Wait, please start responding to that. Also, if someone just says, How are you? I go, Oh.

I can't talk about my medical history. I don't want to violate HIPAA.

Next time I'm in the south and someone wants to be polite and be like, Morning, how are you doing? I'll say, HIPAA violation. Also, not everyone in the south speaks like that. Anything else?

Sorry, I'm sweating and I got to go home.

No, you're sweating. Thank you so much for giggling with us. Any housekeeping? Follow our newsletter.

Yeah, we're doing our newsletter. Obviously, we have tickets to our shows coming up. Oh, yeah.

We added some shows, so check it out. This is our customer service voice.

Yeah.

Thank you.

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