What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, gigglers. We're jet lagged.

No, we're not.

Okay, sorry. I'm jet lagged. I went to Barcelona four months ago, and I'm jet lagged. Just kidding, I didn't. I came from LA yesterday. Yes. My left eye is twitching so bad that I couldn't put my eyeliner on. Has that ever happened to you? It was twitching.

I was chasing it. Have I ever been tweaking out so hard that I can't do my makeup? Yeah, for sure.

It's 9 AM. We're fighting for our life, but we have so much shit to talk about.

This is our version of witching hour. I woke up this morning, it was 7:30. I was like, Am I legit getting up to go do Giggly Squad?

I was like, Shit needs to be talked. Let's I didn't even wake up, Des. I was like, This is not for you.

I also miscalculated. I live in Guam. I straight up commute to work.

No, you have one place you have to physically be each week, and you chose the farthest possible apartment.

20 minutes into my drive, I'm like, Hmm. This is interesting. I even contemplated, I was like, I might have to start taking the subway there, and then I laughed to myself.

I feel like I'm never right, but was I low-key right?

I spoke up about it. Here's the thing. When you are best friends with someone, when your best friend says something that's 100% right, completely valid, if anyone else said it, you would be like, yes. When they say it, you immediately ignore it because you're like, no, that bitch is crazy. She's psychotic. She doesn't even know what's happening. Then it comes to fruition. You have You would just be like, you have to just ignore it.

I'm not even mad for you not listening because I assumed you weren't going to listen because you thought that I was low-key trying to force you to live next door to me, which is valid, which was so true. I just kept sending her apartments next door to me.

Do you truly feel like that? Because sometimes I'll be thinking about manifesting my life or my literal partner will be like, Where do you want to live? In my head, I think, Well, my kids have to go to school with Hannah's kids, so I'm waiting for her to decide if she's full Hamptons or full-time Brooklyn because then I could make a better informed decision.

Actually, someone asked me about kids recently, and I was like, Well, Paige- Isn't ready. Isn't ready. They were like, How does the math have anything to do with you? I said, Paige isn't ready yet.

We're going to be 75. I'm like, Oh, we never did it. I'm like, Well, you never picked a place to live. You're like, Well, you never were ready for kids.

I was like, Okay, well, now we're here. You live so far away from where we record our podcast. You never made it. If Paige never comes again, we know what happens. I was in Hollywood. I've joined the Illuminati. I do have to say Grace said something hilarious because I walked in and that was my line. I said, Hi, I'm back. I joined Illuminati. She goes, I feel like the Illuminati is like,.

Wait. I feel like millennials are obsessed with the Illuminati, and Gen Z is like, Okay, get over it. It's whatever you want to believe. I'm like, Okay.

I was starting to know how hard it was to meet Kat Williams and join the Illuminati, and then you just call it Chuki?

She also said your skin was so good. Which is crazy. Which could be part of being in the Illuminati.

The baby's blood. Yeah. Or I got a little bit of vitamin D for the first time because I was walking in LA. Yeah. I low-key had two... Why do I keep saying low-key?

You're just so fucking LA. Is that.? I was watching your stories. Sometimes when you're not in New York, I don't know why, not when you're in other places in the country, really just specifically LA, I watch your stories as if I don't know you in my head. Wait, that's the biggest compliment ever?

Because I feel like sometimes you don't watch my stories. You watch it in a like, Yeah, I know I was with her. I don't...

Right. I can click through because I'm like, Oh, I was there, or like, Oh, she told me about that.

In LA, I'm like, Who is she? I'm like, Who is she? Hoping that you comment on it.

Sometimes when you're like, you have your hand and you're doing 0.5 stories. I'm like, Who is she? She's living her best life.

I literally have to go through the week. I thought last episode was the craziest story ever. My week was going to go downhill. La threw so many fucking crazy- You extended your trip.

You were like, Sorry, I'm not going to be back till- I was there for- I moved there. 2025.

People were starting to get sick of me. They were like, Do you live here now? I was like, Okay, time to leave. After I spoke to the gigglers, the next day, I went to the roast.

Yes. We haven't even talked about the roast. No, we haven't even talked. We haven't even talked. I have so many questions.

Did you watch it?

Fully through. Start to finish. Ask me anything. Okay.

Ask me anything. Am fucking A. She pulled out her phone. Oh, she has notes.

She's never had one- I have so many notes. Okay, now, as a viewer watching it live, everyone's talking about Kim Kardashian. I just love that she stole the show. First of all, this is my first I want to say. I thought she crushed it.

I have so much to say. So Kim was two tables in front of me, which is crazy because we're sitting there for five hours.

I sat with Kim for five hours. You breathed in some of the air that she exhaled.

I'm a little mad because I think once she looked at me, the one time I was filming her. So I was Kim. Or maybe she was like, Is that the Gailie Squad girl?

No. No, I feel like she did.

She didn't come up to me and be like, Oh, I know every pretty girl in LA, and how do I not know you?

She She didn't... Jen Garner.

Jen Garner commented on our Instagram.

She did? What did she say?

She... All these hearts and stuff. Grace quit.

Grace just quit.

Oh, yeah. Didn't Jennifer Garner comment on our Instagram?

What did she say?

A lot of emojis. She posted grandma, which is so funny.

I love her.

Okay, shout out Jen.

No, I'll literally throw myself in front of a bus for her.

We love you so fucking much. Capital one. Okay, so... She Anyway, we actually we sit down and I've never been to an award show. It felt like an award show. I was sitting right up and everyone was looking around. Jim Gaffigan stands up. He's sitting at Chelsea Handler's table and he starts walking away from his table. He's your best friend. I turned to my friend and go, That's Jim Gaffigan. We know each That's Jimmy. That's Jimmy. This is Jim doing his thing. I realized he's walking towards me. He's walking towards me. Then I realized he just came to stand here and gossip with me. He literally was like, so who's that TikTokeer over there? Wait, I feel like he's so good at having the tea but not being a gossiper. Oh, yeah, because he's joking.

Yeah, he's kidding.

He asked me who one comic was. Then at one point, we were just laughing and he goes, Why are the kids choking these days? I was like, I'm not into it. I'm scared. Why are the kids choking? Choking. Then we find out he grew up in the place in Indiana where my brother lives. Anyway, It was very cosmic. It was very cosmic. Jim and I are best friends, and I couldn't even process. To the point where I was like, Jim, do you want a photo? What are we doing? Wait.

I just want to say one thing. When you were sitting there and Kim went up to do her set, was the whole place booing or was it-Let me give you every moment.

First of all, we all sat down and the roast was the second it was about to start, Kim and her publicist just very quietly, sneakily walk in.

Because no one knew she was coming.

No one knew she was coming. She really did not- People were mad about that, too. That what?

I saw clips on TikTok that comedians were like, Oh, she Why is she above other celebrities? They didn't tell them because they knew that all the comedians would make a joke about her if she was there. Well, let's be honest.

If all the comics were making jokes about her, people would have been annoyed because it's the Tom Brandy Rose. Leave Kim alone. Okay, leave Kim. Okay, let me begin. She gets in. She's just sitting there, and she's so cute. I'm watching her. She's literally watching, turning to her friend, giggling, checking her phone.

She's a girl. She's a girl. She's literally just She's just a girl. Being a girl.

She's just a girl. Yeah, she has a ton of drama with the other most famous woman in the world right now.

At the end of the day, they're both just girls.

They're both girls, girlhooding. We had no idea she was going to go up. The second I hear them call her name, I immediately am nervous for her because I was like, Kimberly, Noel, Kardashian. I know the whole world's watching. To see someone... She's not...

No, I would have thrown up.

It's not like she's a football player about to play football. This is I'm watching her.

Wait, it's not like she's in her element doing something. She's outside of her box.

In that moment, I realized this is why she's so successful. Either she's an AI robot or she handled this moment with such calmness and grace because she not only went up and did the joke, she went up and murdered.

No, it's funny. Distrolled. Fully murdered.

What happened is she got up and the crowd was very like, Oh, and then Then it turned into some boos. But there's also 20,000 people. Which is insane. Not everyone was booing. It's just there's so many people, and I immediately am upset. I stand up because she could see me. I stand up because I- Wait, you're like, That's my friend.

That's my friend. You're not going to do that to my friend in front of me.

No one else is standing up around me. I don't care. In this moment, I know she needs me. I stand up and I start clapping. Because why are we acting like Kimberly Noel Kardashian has done anything worse than any of the men on that stage. Can we imagine she's never beaten her wife.

Has done anyone on the stage? Probably. Sorry to everyone sitting on the stage. We don't actually think that Allegedly, just in mathematics, one of you has to have. In mathematics, there's one of you that has. One of you has hit a girl. Hit a girl?

Or at least been rude to a girl.

More than. Or gave an STD to a girl. A hundred.

Or put girls in therapy.

Yeah. There was a bunch of football players up there. They've done some shit to girls.

Okay, if I was stuck in a forest, would you rather be stuck with Kimberly Noel Kardashian or any of those men on the stage.

Well, gronk is one. I would be like, Beat that bear up. He'd be like, 100%.

Take the shot glass, break a shard of glass into the bear's eye.

Okay, as a viewer, we couldn't tell. The boos. Yeah, we couldn't hear them.

She's a genius because she was just playing to the camera. That's what's interesting about comedy is you can either play to the room or the camera. Ben Affleck was playing to the camera I was completely bombing. But I was looking at my agent.

How no one booed him?

Well, because everyone was confused. No one knew what was happening. Or they were like, Maybe this is a lead up to something.

I thought it definitely had to be. I was like, There's going to be a crazy There's going to be a crazy-Reveal. There's going to be a crazy beat drop. He's leading up to something. Then when it was serious, I was like, Oh, this guy is speaking from his own experience, from his own heart.

This guy went roger than grong.

But also- I feel like there was going to be a moment where you just see Tom braided with his hand on his shoulder. It's going to be okay, dude. Calm down, first of all.

It was the one part of the roast where I was there for four hours. It was It's the only time I lost focus.

Here's another thing I'll say about Kim Kardashian and the booze. First of all, anyone who goes somewhere and booze not at a sporting event, immediate jail time. What are you doing? No. No.

You're booing someone expressing themselves?

No, that's like clapping on a plane. Keep your hands to yourself and shut your mouth.

But it's so funny how people were mad she was there, but then they were also mad that she didn't make it about her and let all the comics It's like she's not on the stage.

Also, let's just point out everyone sitting in that crowd, they're football fans. They're fans of Tom braided. That's a different crowd, I'm sure. The majority of the people are from Boston, which, shout out to Boston, because that's our favorite place to do Giggly Squad. But I will say I would be very weary of men who loathe Kim Kardashian.

No, that is such a red flag.

A man who boos a woman. It's such a red flag. If you break it down, men that really hate Kim Kardashian is because they hate that she flipped the script on all of them. They hate that she became famous because, yes, she had a sex tape, so she used her body. So the men were like, You can't do that. You're not allowed to use your body.

We choose when you're hot.

Yeah, we choose when you're not a whore. Then she was like, Oh, actually, I'm also super fucking smart. I'm going to be a lawyer, and I'm going to do of this thing. The men were like, No, you can't be both. You can't be this sex icon and smart. She's like, Well, actually, I can, and I'll be a billionaire out of it. The men that loathe her existence freak me out. Because it's like, What are you so mad about? Then I really took it back and I was like, What does my dad think? My dad loves her.

My dad loves her, too. Loves her. But not in a creepy way. No, it's like, proud of her. She's killing it. Yeah.

Kim Kardashian, she crushes. Then I was like, interesting. Keep in the back of your mind, ladies.

That is such a great thing to ask a guy on a first date. Yeah.

Do you have thoughts on Kim Kardashian, hate her or lover? Just thoughts. Hate her or lover. If they're like, Oh, I don't really have an opinion, give him better. Give him a blow job. He doesn't even know what's going on. He's dumber than you expected, and that's great for us.

I've always been obsessed with successful people.

I can't wait for Chris to go on a date now. He's like, Someone just asked me if I love or hate Kim Kardashian. That's scaring me.

Okay, I do think that eventually we should do some dating show with Chris and the gigglers because the gigglers all want to fuck Chris.

Yeah, but they don't know what he looks like or what anything about him. Which is such a giggler thing to do because we're women in the arts.

We are creative. We're going to make up in our head. They've created their own scenarios. They heard his voice, and also they like that he gets our humor. Yes. So honestly, marriage material.

Yeah, there's something there. Chris, don't get your head all big.

Look at him looking at me all happy.

Even if we made it just like some clips. We don't even have to do a full date. Decentre me. Yeah, we'll decentering it.

I love that. Anyway, Kim, when she walked on stage, the average person wouldn't be able to handle that moment. Or the average person would be like, Actually, I'd rather stay home because I'm rich.

No, could you imagine standing up on a stage and 20,000 people just booing you?

Then all these hot couple guys watching you.

I would have started laughing, and then I would have passed out. I've been like, This is actually insane. Then I'm like, It's too much. It's overload. The fact she just faint.

The fact she didn't faint was iconic.

I'm like, If she didn't immediately go backstage and vomit, then she should be president.

No, she really did it, sat back down and enjoyed the rest of the show.

No. Then at the end, then the very last guy that went, I mean, he just eviscerated her when he said, Oh, speaking of a whale's vagina, I go, if you say Kimberly Noel, I will lose my fucking mind. She just sat there and was like, Good one.

No, that's hilarious. Also, when you're a girl on the roast, it's like, they're going to make fun of your pussy.

Wait, that's the other thing.

It's like, Good one. Whales, good.

I made Craig watch Bridgerton with me this weekend because I'm getting ready for the new season. Every other word- Because I'm training for the new season. I'm literally training. I watch all of it. Every other word or why you can't do something, I'm like, Well, he would ask a question. I'm like, No, they can't do that because they're a girl. And he's like, Well, why can't they get married? I'm like, Because she's considered a whore. So they can't. The men made these rules. No, and he was so baffled about it. And I was like, Okay, it's not that much different today. Literally, they wanted to kill Kim Kardashian because she got fucked on camera and now is a billionaire, and they can't handle it. So it's literally nothing has changed.

Sorry. That's the police coming for you.

It's the Illuminati. They're She's figured out too much. She called us Chuki. Wait, we would have people the Illuminati. Could you imagine someone coming to us Can we disappear, it was the Illuminati. Yeah, we're like, We just feel like you guys are doing too much.

Kat Williams is like, I told you that I'm getting this part. They talk too much. I can do 20% Kat Williams.

You can do someone doing Kat Williams.

You're absolutely right about that. She's absolutely right. Takes a genius to no a genius.

Wait, that was really good. That last one was good.

One more thing about Kimberly Noelle. Yeah.

I'll make a whole separate podcast about her.

Do not come for her vagina because we all know for a fact, I've seen her wear these bikinis. The girl has a marble vagina. There's not even a hole.

No.

I don't even know how she got pregnant. It's a sliver. We all know. We've all seen it. Oh, God.

No, I love her so much.

But then the T that I want to give the gigglers is there's after-party.

Yes. Which I heard Tom didn't even go to.

Tom and Kimberly did not go. So people, I think, were trying to be like, Where's Tom and Kim? Where's Tom and Kim? Part of me was like, Kim, if you're going to show up, have sex with him.

Wait.

I don't mean it in a you deserve.

This is a hot take, though. I feel like Tom- I stand them. Really? Because I feel like Tom gives Kim the ick. Yeah. I feel like when Tom initially got single, Kim was like, Wait, this could be so cool. Then Tom did something. She was like, Wait, no. Because I just don't think you can go from the type of guys that Kim has been dating.

Pete Davidson and Tom braided are two of the most different people.

You can't go funny guy, swag to meathead athlete. Yeah.

I don't- Pretty boy. Funny is definitely not his thing.

100% no.

But those are literally the men that I would go for back in the day, the ones who were so tall, so beautiful, so not funny. Then I wonder why something was off.

Because you have to be smart to be funny. That's what Victoria Beckham told me. She remembered. She I remember.

Three years later. I get into the after-party.

First of all, wait, your outfit?

I found my stylist.

I mean, that's your stylist.

I found my stylist, Tabitha Sánchez. Shout out to you. She just starts pulling outfits for me, right? I'm like, What is this? She goes, 2004 Dolce.

The fashion world is sometimes so...

No one says Dolce & Gabbana. They always say Dolce.

It's a Dolce & Gabbana lifestyle.

It just goes, 2004 Dolce. I was like, I don't know if this is going to fit. Just like, I hope it fits.

You immediately put it on and you're like, Yes, I'm a monster.

Well, someone said they were like, Dolce is made for Sophia Loren. They design it for voluptuous Italian women. She was like, your body's actually perfect for it. A model would have to get it cut up and stuff. She was like, this was made for your body. I said, bury me in this. No, I showed up so many character energy to that roast.

Here's the other thing about fashion. When you're wearing something that so feels you, it changes your whole perception of things. When people are like, Oh, it doesn't matter what you're wearing. You put too much pressure on it. No, it literally connects to your energy and you're different.

People were treating me with respect.

No, because you were probably walking in standing Standing different, commanding a room different because you're like, I know that I fucking look so good and I love this outfit. I love the fit. Nothing could go wrong.

My mom literally called me because I was like, Why did they put me? They put me in the deadline article. Did you say that was Grace?

No, I thought Grace photoshopped it in and it was a bit.

No, for real. I called my mom, I started dying laughing. I'm like, Why did they do that? And she goes, I don't know, maybe.

I was like, Who hired Grace at Deadline for two weeks?

Or a giggler works at Deadline.

It's a giggler. Definitely.

A giggler definitely was like, wouldn't it be hilarious if we swapped Kim and Hannah?

I genuinely feel like the gigglers are all around the country just pranking us with certain shit. They're like, Wait till they see this. They're going to die laughing. It's like, We can't have our faces on a strip club.

But it's giving Illuminati. No, it is. I called my mom and we were laughing about it and she goes, Well, this is what happens when you invest time and energy into your outfit and your makeup.

No, that is the most mom- Mom shit I was like, Okay, thank you. Okay, I'm trying really hard out here.

I'm tired. I'm trying to... I have a lot going on. I'm like, Thank you. Thank you, Mom.

She's like, You're doing good, but just remember, you can always be better.

It's so funny. I feel like our moms use each other against each other. I don't know. Because I know Kim is written for me, where my mom will be like, Paige puts effort every week into how she looks. Paige has time off. You know what she does? She invests it in herself. And you see the results of it.

My mom literally hit me the other day with one of the most diabolical sentences. I did something, and she just straight-face looked at me and she goes, You're a lot like your dad.

I was just like... Wait, that's the meanest thing I've ever heard.

No, I literally looked at her. At first I was like... Because my dad is the nicest guy ever. Truly the most empathetic, the most compassionate. He will tear up.

But he's not running He's not running the show.

But at any moment, he can just be like, Fuck you. He will switch at any moment. He's Italian. Not like, Oh, he's insane. But if someone does something, then he can switch.

Don't take my kindness for weakness, Gary Disorbo.

Exactly. So my first reaction was like, Oh, thank you. And then I was like, Fuck you. I was like, What the fuck does that mean?

How do you compare me to a man?

No, and I've thought about it every day since. I'm like, What did she mean by that, though?

It's so funny because last week I was feeling myself and I was like, I know people say I'm a lot like dad, but let's be honest, I'm like, You. And she's like, You are? And I hung up. It was the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.

I was like, My mom said I'm like, I don't like her. No, there is Sometimes there will be moments with your mom where you're both just girls, both being just girls. I'll say something to my mom that I'm afraid of or scared of, and I'm like, Well, what would you do? And she'll say, Oh, my God, you're so much smarter than me anyway, or stronger, or why are you even worried? And in that moment, you're like, Oh, we're just girls.

We're just girls hanging.

Yeah, literally. Doing taxes and putting yourself on a budget is one of the scariest things ever, and that's why I make my mom do it. And when she was going through my taxes, I said, Okay, put me on a budget and anything that I don't need to be paying for, let's just get rid of it. And the amount of subscriptions that I forgot about that I was paying for double subscriptions. That's why you need Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that fines and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using the app's features. If you've been trying to save money for a while and just can't figure it out, can't budget correctly, then give Rocket Money try. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscription by going to rocketmoney. Com/giggly Squad. That's rocketmoney. Com/giggly Squad. Rocketmoney. Com/giggly Squad.

So I get to the after-party. I'm trying to think of the T. I mean, Shane Gillis is hanging out in the corner with Dave Chapelle. Dave is smoking a cigarette.

I love that Dave does not abide by any smoke laws, like anywhere. Like, 1995, I think it was a law. You can't smoke anywhere. Dave was like, not me.

Even cancer. He's like, no, No, I don't.

No, thank you. Unsubscribed.

Unsubscribed. Block. So they're there. And then Tom Segura actually came up to me, said hi. And also, I'm best friends with Andrew Colin, who wrote some jokes Dukes, shout out for Nicki on the Rose.

Which we didn't even- We didn't even.

Nicki, they had only a two women on stage. That was a lot of pressure for her. She was so incredible. Also, the women are so overprepared. She's done these so much. I know all the guys were practicing their set, but I just knew that she was going in with a vengeance. She had an extra chip on her shoulder. Then throughout the whole rest of the roast, a lot of the guys were falling asleep. You couldn't see it, but they Okay, Nicki is sitting there laughing, high-fiving Jeff Ross. She's in it. She's working.

That bitch is working for her check.

It's just so great for people to see how fucking amazing she is.

Even that small difference with men and women, men can sit there. Who's next up?

Bert Kreischer, we were joking, was literally reading the teleprompter with his mouth, lying there and reading it out loud and laughing.

Imagine if Nikki did that, they'd be like, She can never come on another rose.

She dragged her off stage. With her heat, dragged her. Yeah.

Her to sit there for four hours.

In her tiny dress.

Your shoulders must have hurt so much.

She also looked really good. That's not important. But when she walked in, I kept trying to mouth it. I said, You look beautiful. No, she looked so good. She definitely no idea what I was saying. She kept me like, What? Also, her hair color is the perfect blonde right now, I think. Yeah, she didn't know something about it. She's just like, She's glowing. Also, I shout out to Nikki because when I was on the come up, she literally took me around to spots in Manhattan, at the stands in the cellar. Imagine- Step.

And literally- She was your mentor. She was your mentor.

She's my mentor.

She's literally what we say Girls need to help girls who are in the same profession.

She literally was like, Do you want to just come to some spots with me? I just followed her around, asked her the dumbest questions, and she answered it all. It just felt like so... It makes it feel touchable and tangible. So, shout out to Nikki. You're hanging with Nikki. Then Grong is just talking to everyone. I went up to him and I was like, You're actually very smart. And he just was like, Thank you. And I was like, Oh, God.

That didn't call very well. Wait. He was one of the best parts of the show.

Because he was so grong.

He was being so grong. If he wasn't like that, people would have been upset. The funniest part about it was everyone that was making jokes about him all night long. You're like, Oh, my God. Wait, that's so funny. That's blah, blah, blah. Then he gets up and says one word and you're like, Wow, you just made everyone else's joke so much funnier because you are exactly what they described.

I could see the teleprompter. He went off the teleprompter for two minutes. To a point, they gave Kevin Hart the mic to be like, Maybe we might have to segue this. That's the thing why The Roast also was so impressive because we knew it could have been a complete shit show, and somehow it just wasn't.

Kevin Hart did a great job keeping the flow. He That had to have been so hard.

He's such a talented professional host. Side note. Oh, yeah. Who do you think was- The funiest? I thought was the most attractive- Guy up there?

Mm-hmm. Who do I think you thought was the best-looking guy up on the stage? Who would I be into? Oh, my God. Not to make it about me. I would say I know who I would pick.

Besides Bill Belichick, who was so funny. Literally, imagine going on a party- I think you're going Tom or Grunk. Ju Bledso.

I was going to say I forgot he was on this.

He's such a daddy. His voice was so low. I met him afterwards. He's huge. I was just talking to his belly button. And funny. And also he's the guy who... Do you know the story of Drew Bledso? Yeah. He's the fucking... This is a sports podcast. Everyone needs to watch you. This is a sports podcast.

He's the star. His joke when he talked about his 30th wedding anniversary. That's so good.

That is funny.

That was so good.

So he is the star. They call him the franchise quarterback. They're paying him millions and millions of dollars. He gets completely obliterated. His knees falls off. He's in the hospital.

His knee was like, I quit. He was like, I'm going to kill myself.

Then they throw Tom in, this young quarterback, and he's like, does okay. Does better. Next, they're doing really well. Drew Bledso finally is hailed and is like, What's up, guys? I'm ready to go back. I'm getting paid $10 million to be the star quarterback. Bill Belichick goes, Actually, Tom's going to stay in. Sure. Do they He lost his job because he got injured, and Tom became great, and then he got traded off. But he showed up to that rose to be like, That was the hottest thing. I love a guy who actually can laugh at himself. It's almost like more of an ick that Tom won seven Super Bowl.

It's so gross. Like, Drew is like, No. Guys. Stronger. Not that I'm just... Just think through more. I'm not just like, blindly like, Oh, I hate men. Sometimes, yes, but this was one of those moments where I was just like, Tom Bird is literally giving me the ick.

Also, when Bill Belchick went on, the way he's changed the way he was sitting, he literally turned to him and was like, Daddy, Daddy, love me, Daddy. It was so funny.

No, I hate that. I thought I was convinced at the very, very end, before Tom got up, that Giselle was just going to walk out.

There was murmurs that Giselle was there.

If they were in a better spot, personally, I think that would have been the funniest If they were actually cool with each other and she walked out and was like, Now I'm actually going to roast you, and it's just like...

Yeah, they're definitely not there. No. But also the fact that he got mad at the Robert Kraft massage joke, but then didn't care that everyone just ripped on his wife.

Yeah, didn't give a shit.

The whole time. But Robert Kraft- Was that when he got up and said to Jeff Ross, Don't say that again.

Not that at all. That made me... That gave me the ick.

From the last We didn't catch it.

Interesting.

It was not picked up to we didn't hear it at all. I just know that Jeff Ross afterwards was apologizing him and Kevin Hart called him a little bitch. But when I heard the audio, I was like, Okay. Because it wasn't like that in the crowd. Also, Robert Kraft was dying laughing. He was at the after-party.

What was the joke even mean?

Because Robert Kraft, it's just a fact that he got in trouble because he paid for a happy ending massage. Oh, If I had a nickel.

No, literally if I had a nickel.

Literally if I had a nickel. That man has a lot of nickels.

Yeah. I'm sure that's not the worst thing he's paid for, sexually. Come on.

Yeah, I saw Andrew Schultz at the after-party. It was just all very fun. I'm like, This has been amazing these two days. I get home, and when I was getting my hair and makeup done, you know when there's just chaos in the hotel room? I get back, can't find my charger, which is a literal nightmare. I'm in a foreign land. No charger. I'm scared. I'm alone. I have to be up at 6 AM for this charity golf tournament. What? Just wait. There's 4% on my phone. I put it on airplane mode. I freak out. I somehow wake up in time. I charge it in the Uber. I get there and they're like, Look, everyone's just here to play golf. No one's trying to get interviewed, but if we get some interviews, fine. Just let's see what happens. No pressure.

Are you playing in it?

Somehow, yeah, I am playing in it also. I ended up just playing with Jared Fried the whole time. They were like, Go play and network with new people. I was like, Hey, Jared. He was like, We've known each other for eight years. I was like, Hey. We had so much fun, though.

We probably had so much gossip to get you up on. We had so much.

Shout out to Jared. I had so much fun playing with you. Actually, I'm so happy I played with you and not someone else because I would have embarrassed myself saying something stupid. I'm standing there.

Jared made a Justin's peanut butter cup joke, and I don't know why I just never forgot it. It just really stuck in my head.

Jared loves a food joke. He loves a food joke. They were eating peanuts. It was just really fun. They go, Kat Williams coming. I did not think Kat Williams would be the first one to show up at the golf charity event.

I did not take him as a prompt.

No, he's not prompt. I just didn't see it.

Yeah, punctual man.

I did not see I think he, the night before, had his special. I don't know. I just didn't even think he was going to show up. Let me go, Kat Williams is here. I'm interviewing Rory Scoville, who's my favorite person, and Kat Williams is just watching. Apparently, he was like, What's all this about? He wasn't sure if he wanted to get interviewed. Don't know what happens. Next thing you know, he's walking towards me. No, I'm freaking. I trained my whole life for this. I felt like a calmness. I looked this motherfucker in the eye and I said, Kat, your Every Day I'm Hustling beginning to a stand-up special was the greatest start of a standup special, and you inspired me to do comedy. He immediately lights up happy.

Because at the end of the day, he's a man, and all you got to do is compliment them one time.

But I would also argue, Kat Williams is a girls' girl.

Oh.

Kat Williams, he's gossiping. He's conspiring. He's...

Taking people down. Taking people down. He's like, Whatever, I'll say it.

He's a girls' girl. So I was like, This is He's the girlfriend that is like, whatever, I'll text him and ask.

And I want to work towards that every single day to be that. Like, whatever. I don't give a fuck. I'll text him.

He also came with a fit. He put thought into his fit. So the first question I have is, go, Kat, what was your inspiration behind this album today?

Yeah, what's the journey?

And he basically waits eight seconds before answering. And I'm like, okay, this isn't going great. Like, literally, give me anything. But he's like, he thinks before he speaks. Then he starts going and I think I start giggling. Next thing you know, I'm like, We're ripping. Then he starts singing some song because I was like, How do you relax? Or something. He starts singing. I start singing with him. He calls us Ebony and Ivory. I sang with him for- You're a woman in the Arts.Multiple minutes. Then finally, I asked, What's your least favorite golf rule? And he starts going on this whole rant about like, Well, rules are made up. Rules are this thing. Just talk about rules. I'm like, You have to go for it. I felt like there was a moment there. I just go, Why do I feel like you don't know any golf rules with the way you answer that question? And he pauses and everyone is like, tense.

Did he laugh? He goes- Wait, I watched the video. I know.

He goes, It takes a genius to know a genius. And then I just calmly look at the camera and go, Kat Williams just buried me. And he starts doing this hilarious dance. Everyone's clapping. It was like the greatest moment of my life. This is the first interview.

Did you call your dad and tell him?

Well, I walk off and I go, Guys, let's leave.

Yeah, no, we got it. There's nothing else for us to do here.

There's nothing for us to do here. We got the shot.

Jared can hit by himself.

Jared doesn't fucking mean me. He's fine. I'll leave Jared for dead. I'm leaving. I'm going home. I have to find a charger for my phone. You know what? My phone is rapidly dying and I'm pretending I'm a professional.

Women, literally, the craziest thing can be happening to us, and we can just sit. Literally, Kim Kardashian was booed in in front of 20,000 people, and she sat there with a smile on her face. We could be bleeding from our vaginas, and we're just... Something could be going on, but in the back of your head, your phone's dying. But we're the emotional ones.

No, but we're crazy. We're the crazy. We're crazy. You know what You know how badass it be for us to actually go crazy? No.

Don't temp me.

Don't get me get there. I'm like, We're done. Then they go, Oh, Will Farrell's here.

No.

I told everyone, I go, Kat Williams is my North Star. I'm done. Then I go, Wait, wait, wait. Actually, Will Farrell is also my North Star. Like a true girl. He was my... On the pod, I said...

He would be your number one. He's your...

You love him. Give me a chance. What is it called? What are the Genzis doing? Hear me out. Hear me out. Will Farrell. When I say this man is an angel, an angel among us, first of all is making him giggle.

Yeah. I feel like he is also one of the girls.

He's a girl's girl. Then at the end, I'm very like, I want to do the interview quick, and then I'm out there like, Sorry for wasting your time. Please leave. He just stands there and he goes, Are you playing? I'm like, I can't handle this.

No, he's just chatting up.

Yeah. Then, of course, I'm like, I was a tennis player. He's like, Oh, my wife loves tennis. What's your opinion on pickleball?

We're having a-All of a sudden, you're in a league together and you're like, How did we get here?

But you know when you have small talk with people throughout your life and then you're having... No.

I try to avoid it at all times.

But like, pickleball is a very standard small talk conversation for tennis players. I'm having a normal small talk conversation with Will Farrell, and it's just so fucking crazy. Because I actually don't ever remember him ever being normal. He's always doing a bit. He was like, Yeah, see you out there. I was like, Okay.

Even him coming out on the roast. He was doing a bid on top of a bid.

He had layers of bits. So many layers. He's a genius. So that happens. I'm like, How is today? I never thought a morning would be a good experience for me, but I'm the best morning I've ever had. Then Charlie Day comes out. I made fun of his mustache. You know Charlie Day from Always Sunny? Yes. I make fun of his mustache. You could tell it was too early for me to do it. He was like, Okay, he's a nice man.

Okay, we're just trying to play golf for the kids.

Yeah, and I literally was like, What's with the mustache? He was like, What? Then he was like, Actually, it's for a role. I'm like, That's literally the only answer? Yeah, that someone could give. Mine would be like, Military. I'm like, That's not a role that you need to have a mustache if you're in the military. They love to say it's a rule. I'm not coming to shout out to- I've never heard someone say it. No, they always go for the military. I think it's because they can't have a beard, so they just go with the mustache and they blame the military.

Just go to therapy. Talk about your mom. Let it out.

Then I met Blake Griffin. You know what? Shier than I thought. Shier, sweeter, not a big, loud personality. Very sweet and funny.

He used to go out in the city. I would see him out a lot. Oh, I never talked to him, though.

He's laid back. Yeah. He was not laid back, David Spade.

Yeah, no, I could see that.

My new best friend. He was hilarious. David Spade and I are friends now.

Did you guys exchange numbers? Did you see anyone on the plane going or coming there?

On the plane, I saw the woman from... Oh, God. Wait, I said it.

Tara Lepinsky. The woman? The actor from T-Mobile, Verizon. No.

But that was at Erwan. There was one on the plane.

Me when anyone asks me a question. And then maybe... Yeah. Me in any professional setting ever.

Oh, God. I'm trying to figure out if there's any other people. I met Bill Burr, who was angry at 9:00 AM. So on brands. Well, what you were missing in New York City while you were outliving your freaking life. Sorry, I'm still name dropping. I'm not done name dropping.

I don't know if you saw, but New York City made a portal, which is basically a video chat call with Dublin.

Dublin?

Did you say that in Ireland? Some giggler out there is like, Hannah needs to see Dez's other family. They've already closed it. Shut down. It's over.

People are showing their dicks.

A The girl got a flash of her tits. Yeah, obviously.

They were like- Which side? New York or Dublin?

New York, obviously. I was like, This is why we can't have anything nice.

This is why we can't have nice things.

I just like- Wait, I didn't know that.

It's gone.

It just happened yesterday. They were like, And we're done with that. That was a great- So, kid in Dublin is just crying. No, but the thing that was really annoying me, I was like, First of all, you know me, I blame Everything on the mayor. Even if it has nothing to do with the mayor. I'm just like, why the fuck do we need a Zoom 24/7 with Ireland? Of all places. What's going on in Ireland?

It's literally chat roulette.

No, I'm like, Stop calling it a portal. You're freaking everyone out. You're freaking everyone out. It's a literal Zoom that's probably going to end in 45 minutes because those timers are really finicky.

Shut up. Whatever girl showed her tits, can you DM us?

It was like OnlyFans' girl.

Oh, so she's professional.

Yeah, no. She was like, I actually know how to do it right.

It wasn't just some drunk girl at brunch.

She was like, sorry. She was like, actually, you're supposed to go right then left. You're doing it all wrong.

But also with our tax dollars, is that... Do I have to really see more doubling fuck boys?

No, that's what's really piss me off. I'm like, Who built this fucking portal?

This is Then I did After Midnight with Taylor Tompinson.

Wait, I watched it the other morning. I literally... I'm a freaking mom.

You're a stage mom.

I'm a stage mom. We have...

Paige and I have these weird moments where I'll just text her When I just get a weird vibe, a good vibe, but just want to be like, Hi. I think I said, Hi, I miss you, chicken. Yes. You were like, I'm literally watching your videos right now.

I woke up early because I was having anxiety. Shut up. I'm sitting on the couch I'm just like, by myself trying to just freaking meditate. I'm like, I know what I need.

Trying to process one emotion. I'm like, I need to see Hannah.

I'm like, Oh, Hannah's episode. Wait, I'm your comfort person. Yeah, so I was like, I'll put that on. I'll watch that. It's light, it's funny. You won't have to think, do you? I don't have to think at all. It's like, She's here. I'll be fine. It was so funny. Brandon, I know. Kyle.

Bkg.

He's very So funny.

So nice. I was nervous because I've never done a show like that. I also haven't been allowed to be on a cable show. I don't know how that let me back on that. They were like, just after midnight, she could go on. So I wore Mimu for you.

Wait, that's what I wanted to say, You looked phenomenal.

Thank you. But the most embarrassing thing is at each commercial break, after the first break, the showrunner guy comes up to me and goes, Hey, can I grab you for- Live?

Was it live?

No. But he was like, Can I grab you for a second? Yeah. Takes me off the stage and I go, I'm fired again. I was like, What did I fucking do? Because he definitely seemed like... He was being awkward about it where I'm like, Did I say something? He pulls me aside and he goes, Hey, you have a little I'm like, What? You're sweating. I'm sweating. He pulls me aside and he goes, Can we just blow dry? I was like, Yeah, you literally scared the fuck out of me. I thought I was fired. He's like, No, you're sweating. I go, I don't care if I'm sweating. I'll hold my hands down. He goes, Well, let's blow dry.

They were like, We care.

We They were like, This is our show. We have to uphold some respect.

We care about esthetics.

Yeah. They literally take me aside, blow drying me. Everyone's waiting for me to be blow dry. Stop. Like a fucking wet rat.

But they don't should tell you in Hollywood. But they don't tell you.

Hollywood's a crazy place. They put me back in. But I think it was because it was a game. I wasn't nervous at all. I was like, Well, actually, I was trying to not be competitive. I really was trying. I was like, This is art.

Well, because it's a game show, but not really.

They The first thing they say, they go, This is not a real game show. I go, That's what people say when they don't want you to win. That's what they say when they want you to be distracted. They go, Don't worry, it's for fun. That's what they say. That's what losers say. Then they pulled me off again, blow-drying me again. I realized, Oh, this is the thing. You got blow-dried twice? Taylor is waiting for me. Then they pull me aside. They take out these pads, and I go, This is Mimoo. You can't just stick a pad onto the Mimu.

They were like, Wait, Hannah.

They literally put-I'm so happy that you-period pads on my Mimu.

You were like, No, no, this is me.

High heels on my.

What is that?

It means, Don't change up on it. That's how I'm paying it.

Period pads on my pitties. Period pads on my biddies.

I'm going to name of the episode, Period pads on my Biddies. Put it on my tombstone.

I feel like Nikki would be so proud.

They put it on my Mimoo. Yeah. And I was like, Can I text Paige? I don't know if this is legal. I was like, I think this is illegal.

I think there's a stylist that just died somewhere. That's how it works.

The fashion community is very mad of me already, and I'm literally on the edge. I ended up having these period pads in my arms. But it was so funny because I'm chill. I'm chill. I'm like, you're not being competitive or weird. You're not freaking anyone out.

I love the classic, don't be weird. You're not being... The conversation in your own head where it's like, you're not being weird. You're being cool. Just continue that. Don't be It's a weird inner mama.

Do you know when you're a competitive person, when someone... I'm not even competitive with other people. It's more like I'm competitive with myself because I have PTSD that people will be disappointed with me if I lose. Oh, God. I'm standing there and I'm like, no one cares if you want to lose. This is a game. It's stupid. This has nothing to do with your self-worth. I'm literally like, don't show anyone that you have a crazy competitive side. I'm so chill. I'm down by a thousand. I was getting a score. Then the last round, she's like, Okay, we're doing a speed round, and everything is 500 points. Immediately, I'm like, something came over me. I couldn't hold her back anymore. I was like, B, B, B, B. I was pretending I couldn't click the button the whole show. I was like, Oups.

You're like, Sorry, mine's broken. I don't know why. I'm just trying to make sure it's not stuck. Oh, did I win again? That's crazy.

The whole time, every time I got it, I'd be like, Oupsy, I didn't even want to answer. Then this last round, I go, Every fucking second. Brandon and Heather were looking at me like, Oh, now you know how to click the button? I was like, I got like 4,000 points.

I was like, Thank you. No, that's every girl on a first date. You're like, I don't know how to read the menu. Then three dates in, you're like, Everything you're going to change about yourself if you want this to work. No, literally.

Everyone was scared. At the end, they were like, Where the fuck did I come from? I go, I don't know. I don't know her. I was trying to suppress her.

So did you win? Yes.

I won. So funny. She gave me a Skipping Rock because it's a fake game show. You saw that, yeah. They give me the rock and I'm like, This is Then I walk off stage and one of the producers puts his hand out for me to give him back the rock. I go, This is my trophy. He goes, Do you want to keep the rock? I go, Yeah, I want to. Yeah, I want to fucking keep the rock. He's like, Okay. I'm like, Don't fucking take my trophy away, you sick fuck.

I'm a winner. Wait, they were like, The props department actually needs this. Cbs sent a really weird email tomorrow. They're like, We think there was a mix-up.

Then I called Des, and he goes, I Hey, babe. He goes, Did you fucking win? I go, Yeah. He goes, Oh, my God. It's like, Jesus Christ. Chill the fuck out. You never learn your lesson. You never learn. No one cares. That's my husband. He goes, Oh, my God. You had to win.

Wait, I love when you say husband. It always freaks me out. It's so crazy. No, it's so crazy. So crazy. I'm like, You're what?

Well, people, How's your husband? I'm like, Shut the fuck up. It's not because I'm obviously trying to be single around town. It's just not good for the brand. It's not the vibe. Literally, someone called in on burner phone last week. They were like, Hey, so I'm married. Eew. It doesn't matter. You're dying laughing.

No, it's so... No, it's like, Stop. It's literally like, We can be, but don't tell people.

Don't fucking say it out loud.

Yeah, that's so weird.

Don't say it out loud. I feel like weddings are changing where everyone should just be getting a small, intimate gathering where you look super hot with a photographer.

We need small, intimate gathering merch. It needs What's going to happen.

You guys, we're working on a change in the merch.

No, sorry about our merch.

This is the thing about the merch. We are switching companies currently.

How many times do you say merch?

We're switching companies for our merch because as you know, Paige and I, mostly Paige, takes fashion very seriously.

We are very excited. Our merch company literally just tried to bring us into the Illuminati. We were like, No, we can't go. We have to leave you guys.

Look out for a new merch drop. I know it's been years. Then I did shows. Then I interviewed some Love is Blind cast.

How were they?

They were great because they're just like- Of the most recent season? I think it was a combination, but there was the Jimmy guy, which was funny because I didn't watch it because I I don't watch reality TV. I watched it. But everyone says it was amazing.

I said on this podcast that I think Jimmy looked like a thumb, so that's awkward.

I may or may not. I'm going to post the video soon. He was very... Because he's Southern.

I'm sure he's really nice.

He's Southern, so they're just silly.

They're silly. I had no idea what was going on. That's definitely a word for them.

I went to Kevin Hart's production company's brunch.

Oh, sorry. We forgot about it. Sorry. And How was it?

Well, I was like, I saw Kevin Hart twice this week already. They were like, Do you want to come to his brunch? I was like, Okay.

Honestly, the guy's everywhere. There was a giggler.

I know. There was a giggler on his team. The gigglers- Stop. The gigglers are so successful. They're so beautiful. No, Every time I meet a giggler, I'm like, You are gorgeous. I can tell when they're a little more paged than Hannah, page-coated or not. This girl was actually page-coated.

It's so funny because when the Hannah's come up to me, that's the first thing they say to me. They're like, We get it. We're not your vibe. I'm like, I didn't even say anything. We're at a bodega. I don't even know what's going on right now.

My favorite is when the gigglers come up to me with two of them and one of them goes, She's my Hannah. Then there's some girl comes up like, Hey. I'm like, Me and your girl. It's just the pretty girly girl.

She walks out from the bathroom. She's like, Hey.

It's always perfect. I'm like, This is perfect. Whoever has a slickback bun, I'm like, You're a page. They're wearing Boes. It's actually like-No, you can spot him in a second. In a second. The brunch was fun. I ran to Chelsea again. But this is where you have Chelsea in there. Sorry. You have to be careful. You don't want to overdo it, you guys. What I've learned, and on top, get Get a laugh, move on. Get a laugh, move. Always be moving. Get a laugh, move. Don't stay to see yourself become the villain. Yeah. That's what I've learned.

Go home before that.

Go home. I was hanging out with Harry Jauzy, who's just picked us up in an orange Lamborghini. Is he a real person? No, he's an AI Australian man. But honestly, he's so fucking sweet, and I've known him for years.

I saw him from a distance at the LA Fashion Awards. I think he was just at... It was at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think he just happened to be at the hotel. When I walked in, the first thing I thought was, who is that huge guy over there?

Ginormous.

Then I was like, Oh, that's Harry Jossy. I just was not expecting him to be massive. Huge.

But it was just so LA, driving in a... I was like, Can you even spell Lamborghini? How did this even happen? It's orange. So we show up to Kevin Hart's rental.

He's really successful from OnlyFans, right, too?

People don't even know.

See, it's so funny. Like, literally the Dublin portal got shut down because of a woman on OnlyFans just swinging his dick around.

He said he just shows his butt. That's what he said. Was there any... Oh, yeah. I met Jeff Ross. I met Kevin Hart's photographer. He's my boy now. What a crazy job. This guy travels around with Kevin Hart everywhere.

It just takes pictures of him? At all times. No, I need that. Give me that guy's number. I will.

He literally just is everywhere rolling. Kevin has a huge-The amount of times I've thought, if I just had a fucking photographer at all times, I'd always get the shot.

Have you seen the Miss USA thing?

No.

Something weird is happening in the Miss USA universe. Miss USA stepped down. Usually, when someone steps down the first runner up, immediately takes the spot and whatever. Usually, people only step down because I don't know, like these insane things. Steps down, person, first runner up, doesn't accept it, says, No. Then Miss Teen USA steps down. First runner up says, No. Ms. Usa puts out a statement that she's stepping down. Now, there's only a couple months left- Of her term. Of her term. So they're like, This is crazy. The first letter of every sentence of the statement she put out, spelled out, I'm silenced. And typically, they run the social media account for themselves, and you can see their real personality and whatever. And Miss USA put out a thing that that will no longer be allowed. Someone from the company will run their social media when they win. So people are like, That's weird. And no one's saying anything.

Wait, so you're telling me the Miss Universe USA My company is toxic.

It's a scholarship program, not a beauty pageant. Just kidding. No, so we don't know what's going on.

Even as a young girl, I did not support that shit.

Pageants?

Pageantry? I don't support it. I know Miss Universe is like, Oh, these are the smart ones.

Look, the fact that we're raiding women, can we not? No, pageants are- I support women in the arts.

For sure. If you're going to do it, when I support you, go off. But no. We saw what happened to Raquel. Just don't.

You know what else we didn't talk about? I don't know why this just made me think of it. Gipsy Rose Blanchard doing a Mother's Day video. And just being like, I'm allowed to feel how I feel about my mom. And on Mother's Day, I choose to think about the good times.

Did someone come and go, What happened? Question for her. Please explain.

Story time. What story time? Sixty-four parts, story time. Sixty-four People were just like, This is so insane. But then other people were like, Well, she is allowed to feel how she wants to feel. The woman did abuse her her entire life. It's like, Yes, but she also plotted her murder.

I love that she's addressing it. I think it's weird if she didn't. Being quiet on Mother's Day, that's fucking awkward. At least say something.

Look, if you abuse a child in any capacity, I think automatic death penalty. I I think this woman should be dead for what she did to a child.

Abuse is a very complex, layered thing. The woman birthed her, and they clearly had great times together.

She was like, She's still my mom, which is, I get, valid. There is a layer where you're like, Okay, that's still the woman who gave me life. But I was just like, What a...

Get ready with me as I describe how I plotted my mom's murder.

Things that would send our four fathers into a literal coma. Gipsy Rose Wanderer talking about her Mom's murder on TikTok.

Can you spell Munchausen?

Absolutely not. It's given German. It is.

I love how I missed all this news because I was in La La land meeting the 18th-year-old.

No, you're literally... That's what the Illuminati does. They don't let you see what's happening in the real fucking world. That's what they fucking do.

They distract you with celebrity and shiny things.

I'm like, Our portal is shut down. No one's doing anything. How do we know it's happening in Dublin?

Dublin. Also, shout out. I do have shows in Dublin and London. I have a couple of tickets left. Go for it.

I don't know if this is my personality. I don't know if my mom was onto something when she said I was like my dad, or if it's because I'm a Scorpio. But when I'm mad about something, it takes me two full...

Years.

Two full weeks, 10 business days, a solid 10 business days. To get mad. To calm down.

I love how I got everything wrong. To calm down.

If I'm mad on a Friday, you better believe that Monday, I'm still ripping. I'm still fuming.

See, I'm never, as a Leo, I'm never mad. But then once I am, I will lose all the friendships because I will say the real shit, and then I'll be fine after.

It takes me so long to get mad. But then I'm there and I'm like, Well, I'm not going to Who else needs a dressing?

I lied. I'm mad for the rest of my life. I'm mad for the rest of my life.

I'm mad for the rest of my life.

I'm never not. Once I realized I legitimately am righteously mad, why would I unmad myself?

I did the reunion on a Friday. I'm going through the airport on a Tuesday, told someone to fuck off. What did they do? Piss me off. What did they do? They pissed me off.

They said, Do you want oak milk or skim milk?

Because I'm, Fuck you. Fuck you. First of all, let me just preface. We're at LaGuardia Airport, so you can throw a fuck you out there anytime, any moment. That's like saying hello. There was this older woman, full on mom, older than that, who was mad. She was behind me in line. She was mad that I was in front of her in line and didn't feel like I was doing the line correctly. Now, I travel literally once a week.

You know a line.

I know the security line. I know how to get through the line. Thank you so much. I don't know a lot.

I know how to get through a line.

That's a double entendra. Anyway, she's trying to say something to me, and I literally don't even know what's going on.

I am like, Wait, is she- You're definitely not trying to talk to me right now.

Yeah, I just turned, I was like, What? I literally said, What? She just kept going that I wasn't doing the line right now. I was just like, Okay, lady, it's Friday morning. I'm like, I'm exhausted. It's a full week later from the reunion. I get through security. I get my bags off the belt, and I'm walking walking by her to go to my gate, and I could tell she's thinking of something up in her head to say to me. I'm just like, Lady, I don't give a fuck what you're about to say to me. I could tell she's starting to say, I hope you have, and I just look at her and I go, Fuck you. I keep walking.

Wait, so she didn't even say anything yet? No.

No, in the line, she had started chirping me.

I know, but for all we know, she was about to seize.

Apologize. She was about to apologize. She could have been apologizing. For all we know, and I hit her with, Fuck you. I walk by and I'm like, Can I feel lighter? I feel lighter. I immediately call my mom because I'm like, Wait, what? Then you cry. I'm shaking. I go, Mom, I just got in a fight with a lady. In the line at the end of the important- You got your physical altercation. I tell my mom... I've been shot. I tell my mom the entire story thinking like, Oh, my God, wait. Then I have anxiety like, Was I wrong? Was I in the wrong? I tell my mom the whole story. My mom goes, Good for you. I was like, Yup, and I knew it.

All you need is your mom being like, You were right. Then I'm I'm away from it.

You need one friend to say exactly. You're like, and that's it. I'll burn LaGuardia right down. You just redid it. I'll burn it down.

Shout out to my papa, my other grandpa, who I don't talk about enough because he's alive and loved my life.

Alive and well gets no love.

That's no love because he's a literal angel.

Grandpa in heaven was like, Wow, the gigglers love me.

My current papa, he doesn't listen whenever it gets sexual or the fart stuff. We don't do that to I think he has to tell my Nana what we said because she can't hear. He actually is the ultimate giggler. It's such a love story. My papa is one of the funniest stories because he's a tough guy from Brooklyn. Apparently, he was walking the subway, apparently. He I have a story about how he was like, I saw this guy and he was going to mug me. You know when you could just tell he's going to mug me?

No, Papa, but keep going.

He was walking to I could tell he was going to mug me. He goes, So I just turned and I broke his fucking nose. And me and my brother were like, What if he wasn't going to rob you?

You and your brother are five and you're like, Papa, what? I'm like, What? There are different rules in New York because when I called Craig and told him that story, he goes, You said, Fuck you. I go, It's LaGuardia. That's how we greet each other in the morning.

If I were to do that to someone, they'd be sitting next to me on the flight. They would be in the Uber. They would be the whole day.

I'm immediately on the phone with my mom. I was like, Wait, she looked like a bitch that would live in Charleston. If she's on my flight, good. I have more shit to say. But she wasn't.

No, so my papa, the story is so crazy because he was so proud of himself. He's like, I can tell this motherfucker was coming for me. No, I'm proud of him. What if he just had a long day at work? He's going home and he's so tired. He's about to see his family.

That guy's version to his Very different. Very different. Very different.

I was like, You broke his nose. Jesus Christ. He goes, Then I had to get a rhinoplasty. I couldn't afford the surgery. I never got to go to college after that.

He's like, I never make eye contact with an Italian. And you're like, That guy.

And with that said, thank you for getting me with us.

This is a journey.

We added second shows to a lot of the shows that sold out. So if you were like, shoot, I missed it, go to our website right now, linktree.

Com. I don't know why you're going to say, www. Amandaplease. Com.

Gig squad. Edu.

Wait, why are we not giggliesquad. Edu? Wait.

We could have probably bought that so cheap, too.

Net. Org.

That's probably illegal. Yeah. Okay, we'll talk to you guys later. We miss you so much. Bye.