Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Zerl. Ashton is joining me today. Don't forget to like and subscribe to this podcast. Right, Ashton? Tell them.

Like and subscribe.

Tell them that it's cool.

It's really cool.

Tell them that's the new thing.

That's what all the cool girls are doing these days. They're liking and subscribing to Hot Mess because it's really cool. So do that.

And all girls are just hot.

Yeah, and they're messy. They're hot and messy. Okay, cool.

I've been moving like a hot mess.

I don't want no campo, I want checks. I don't want the second, I want this. I'm all in my head's way, I'm a rat. I've been moving like a hot mess.

I apologize if this is going to be a little hectic for the first few minutes here because not only am I joined by Ashton, but also my little sisters Isabel and Penelope. We're not hectic. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. We're podcasting at my dad's house right now because I took a little break from the Hamptons this weekend. I came home and we just have all four sisters here, all four early girls.

We've been on a Bender. A little bit.

Ashton's been the Bender Queen recently, and she's going out again tonight. I finally am officially off the first day of my three-week Bender that I've been on, and I'm so excited. Health and Wellness Alex is starting now. Besides Saturday and Friday, I'll let myself out of the house, but I cannot. I think my body is about to reciprocate.

Disinecate.

Is that the word? Disintegrate. Disintegrate.

I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I know that word.

And I was truly like, I would be snappy or be bitchy because I was just trying to be that girl. And it really, oh, my God, I can't think about her.No, but that's also just part of life and learning and growing. You have to go through all these different phases and experiences to really find out who you are. But I've learned with confidence, just really being myself. It's like take it or leave it. I'm not going to really try to be someone or something that I'm not to impress other people. You don't want to be around people who like you for something that really isn't you. Yeah.And that's another thing. I feel like acceptance is confidence. Because obviously, I personally think that looks, not looks, but the way that you feel that you look, the way you feel about yourself, plays into confidence. And I hate when people say that, oh, well, looks don't play into confidence or whatever. But when you look good, you feel good. And I think it's important for girls, I don't know, do whatever. If you want to dye your hair purple, if that makes you feel good, do that. If you want to dye your hair blonde, do that. That's why I'm always pro. Do what makes you feel good, because when you feel good, you'll be confident, you'll be better. I don't know. I always hate when people are so judgy about, oh, It's like, oh, she got something done to herself. It's like, well, if she wants to, whatever. But that's the thing is that you need to do it for yourself and not for other people.Yeah, for other people. And you have to be aware of that. Not everyone is going to agree with everything everyone does. But if you're happy yourself. That's all that matters.When I plumped up my lips to the world, I was so confident. I looked terrible, but I was so confident because I thought my lips look so good.Having confidence is just so admirable. It's like you just don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks. It's part of it.I think confidence is really the way that you talk to yourself internally. Also, wait, this is so sweet that you're just sitting here listening to us. I'm going to cry. You're so cute. I think with the way you talk to yourself about looks and such. Obviously, there's little things that you can do to make yourself feel better. You want to wear, I don't know, you like to wear baggy clothes or you like to wear tight clothes. Whatever makes you feel good makes you feel good. But there's also a point where you just have to accept who you are and you You have to live with that. You're only going to make yourself more miserable. And guess what? I always say this. If you're confident, you'll be hotter and look better because you just wear it better. You wear yourself better. I swear to God, Like on date- Because it's just about being comfortable with yourself and owning yourself. But have you ever gone to a party and say in a big baggy T-shirt or something where you just feel so comfortable and you almost see pictures of yourself in your face and your smile and you're like, wow, I look so cute and happy because you feel so confident.It literally makes you shine from the inside out. So I feel like you really have to accept who you are and do things to make you feel good. But at the same time, you have to just accept who you are and what you are and your personality and the things you like and live like that. And I swear to God it comes through and it makes you prettier.I agree with that 100 % because I feel like I went a lot of that this year and learned a lot of that this year. So many people now are like... People will just say to me, they're like, You're shining, you're whatever, you're this, you're that. You can see it. You look so happy. I'm more comfortable showing my personality online more now, and I was never comfortable with that before. But it was just because I was like, Well, this is who I am and I'm just going to do it. I feel like it's been only positive responses. I feel so great. I'm so happy with my life right now. I've just been having the best time. And I feel like a lot of people in my comments and everything have been like, you're doing so great. I love seeing what you're doing in your life and your personality. And I feel like that's just all this new found confidence that I've had.No, but I think a lot of what... Obviously, I started posting on TikTok and stuff, and Ashton was also having fun with it and posting on there. But I I feel like you were so worked up and being similar to me. We're just a little bit different. We are. We are. And you were like, Well, I can't do these same exact things. And I was like, Yes, you can. You can do whatever you want to do. I feel like it took you a minute to get the hang of it.And now I literally just post whatever I have fun with.So I would say for anyone who's struggling with confidence, one-Be yourself. Yes. Be yourself and fake it to you, make it and pretend like you're a character if you need to and you feel weird in certain situations and you need a little bit of a push. But the second part is just accept yourself and love yourself and remind yourself that you're doing good, you're doing okay. And I'll say, I, like you said, you lost it. I really truly lost myself this past year. And it's so weird because I feel like I never really talk about this or say this, but this is something I came to the realization recently. Is like, obviously, my senior year of College, whatever. I got followers and it became a big thing where it's like, okay, you have managers reaching out to you, you have agents, lawyers, brands want to work with you. All these different people, you've publicists. So basically, for the first time in my life, I'm thrown into these big scenarios where you're going to big events and there's celebrities there. And I had people telling me, okay, wear this or do your hair like this or do your makeup like this or this is cool, this isn't cool.And I feel like for the first time I was dealing with people just I don't know, telling me what to do and trying to shape me and what they thought would be best for me. And I feel like I lost myself.I feel like in this world, you're so new and scared. You're like, yes, I'll do anything.I would say yes to everything. Even when working with stylists and clothing, if I even hated an outfit, I was like, oh, my God, I love it. Because I just didn't have my own personal opinion because I thought that because everyone else was professional or had been in this industry for a while, I thought that they knew better. And maybe they do know better, but maybe they don't know what makes me feel good. So I don't know. I feel like I went through the phase of I cut my hair, I died it shorter, I stopped tanning. I was trying to do all these things. I don't know. I feel like I had a weird fashion spell where I didn't know what I wanted to wear, what I thought was cool. And then I realized I was like, wait.Just do whatever you want. Yeah.I was like, actually, for right now, I want bleach blonde hair and my tan orange skin. I want to wear clothes that make me feel hot and good. Sorry. I'm young and having fun. I'm not afraid of that anymore. I feel like I lost myself for a little bit there and just taking other people's opinions in a consideration so much.But now you appreciate more your sense of self, I feel like, because you went through that phase. I feel like, especially in college and everything, every time you go out, everyone's like, What are you wearing? What are you wearing? What are you wearing? That is something I don't do anymore because I'm just going to wear whatever I want. I know where I'm going. I'm just going to do whatever. I just feel like it's so much more fun to not be like, Oh, all my friends are wearing jeans and a cute top, so I'm going to wear jeans and a cute top. Instead, just being like, I have this really cool outfit that I want to wear, and then you wear it, and it's more fun.Yeah. I noticed I did that in high at Isabella's house and I replied or I said something, and people laughed. And I was like, I was It's funny? I've made it.When I got to high school and you were a junior, that helped me a lot because I was so scared. And I only had Katherine and Ava, and we didn't know anyone. And then we had you and your friend group. And you were like, you helped make friends. You would bring me out, which you still do. So grateful for you.Now we bring each other out. Yeah. Treat. Treat. Well, I feel like with that being said, we should get into somewhat what would Alex do. Ashton has to run off right now to catch the train because she's going to see Fisher right now.Should I wear my bikini shirt?I think you should, actually.Take it home.I think it could be cool. But okay, let's do some what would Alex Do? And let's get Ashton on the train In her Rave Girl era.I'm not taking the train. I don't know where you got that from.Oh, I just assumed you. Okay.Love you, Hot Mess. Okay.What would Alex do? What would Alex do? Okay, this is my favorite segment always because you guys write in your stories or your questions, and I tell you what I would do in these scenarios. I mean, I don't know. I feel like a bigger sister for you guys in this moment, hopefully, even though some of you guys are probably older than me. But I don't know if this good.But I do, even now, find myself tending to think that way. I'm like, Wait a minute. I'm like, Does everyone hate me or am I annoying? And I always usually ask Ashton, she's like, Alex, shut up. But I think truly the only way is, okay, if they're hanging out with you and they're your friends and they're around you, they probably like you. So I wouldn't overthink it too much or try not to. And then I think in a social setting When you're meeting people, I always meet people. And then I'm always like, oh, my God, wait, they hate me or, oh, they think I'm a bitch. And even when I meet you guys, I'm out and I'll turn to Brox and I'm like, wait, was I just a bitch? Does everyone think I'm so mean? He's like, you literally were so nice. I always get in my head in overthinking interactions. But there's nothing really you can do about that. And you just have to literally stop. But honestly, I still do it. So I don't know. I don't know. I'm not giving the best advice for this right now, but really try to just be okay know yourself.And as long as you're being a good person, there's nothing to be anxious about. That's what I always say. I'm like, okay, as long as we're being a good friend, being a good girlfriend, being nice to people, doing the right things, we can't get anxious about that much. If they don't like us for who we are, then that's their fault. Help a girl out, please. What shoes are guys wearing with shorts these days? I hate the shoes my boyfriend wear. I mean, my boyfriend wears. I feel like I will subtly just buy him a new pair as a gift, or does that make me a bitch? I don't I don't think that's making you a bitch at all. I think that's so nice. You're getting him a gift, and it's not going to be a problem to look at. I mean, shoes with shorts, I feel like there's not that many options for guys. I think just a plain pair of sneakers. I usually like, what does Braxton wear? He has this pair of golden goose sneakers that are just all white that I think is fine that he wears. I don't know. I don't really like when guys wear sandals or flip flops, but that's my personal preference.Maybe you guys like that, but something about a thong in between a guy's toes just doesn't settle right with me. I also am just scared of feet in general, so maybe that's why. But shoes with shorts, Yeah, I think just a low top pair of sneakers. I would buy him one as a gift and then make him wear it because you're like, Oh, I got you this gift. Do you not like it? You must wear it. Then I think, I'm kidding, but don't be mean. But I think the way to go about it is get him a new pair of sneakers. He's going to put them on and then just compliment the shit out of him. Be like, oh, my God, these look so good on you. Baby, you look so good today. I love the way these look. Oh, my gosh. And you complimenting him, he'll get the hand of like, wow, I really look good in these. Maybe I like these sneakers better than the other ones that you don't like that he's wearing. That's what I would do. Hey, Alex. I was talking to a guy for the past month and we've been on three dates.Last week, he just stopped responding to me out of the blue mid-convo. Today, he unfollowed me on Instagram. He's completely ghosting me. Should I call him out? What would Alex do? Don't call him out. Let him run. Let him go. There's nothing you can do about that. And I think the worst thing that you could do, if you ever want to change this guy's mind, I think the worst thing you could do is literally go harass him and make him think that you really care. Just like, you've been on three dates. I don't know. This is seeming like he unfollowed you. I don't know. That's seeming like something bigger happened than a ghost. He's really running away. So I don't know. Maybe he's getting back with an ex-girlfriend or something or something scary. But who cares? We don't have to worry about what he's thinking. He's not the one. If he's running away from you, probably not the guy we want to be with. I think the only thing you can really do is, or personally, what I would do, what Alex would do, I just would... I don't know. You just got to move on.There's nothing you can do about that. Never chase a guy, never hunt him down, never let him know that you're upset. And it's summer. Go have a hot girl summer and go have fun. Hey, Alex, I know this is wrong, but I figured out the password to my boyfriend's phone, and I'm thinking about going through it. We've recently moved in together and I feel like the vibes have shifted, and he's way less affectionate towards me lately. Do I go through his phone just to see if something fishy is happening? What would Alex do? I think, yeah. I mean, if you're feeling off, I think you need to just double check. And if he's being a good boyfriend and you're living together, then there should be nothing wrong and should be nothing for you to find. This is probably awful advice right now, but if it's going to give you some peace of mind, then maybe just take a little snoopy-doop while he's in the shower, while he's sleeping. Find a time, get in there, take a little snoop, even though you should trust each other, but it's seeming like you're already having these hesitations. So you have to either...If you're going to go through his phone, is that going to be the end of it, though, or are you still going to feel fishy and weird? Because that's my other of this is I'm like, that might not be the end. I'll be all of you feeling weird if he's not being affectionate towards you. So maybe I'm retracting what I'm saying right now. The thing is here, I'm not always giving the best advice. I'm just saying what I would do. Personally, I would go through his phone and just check. And I just need to check and then we can move on from there. If he's still being weird and fishy, then maybe something's off and maybe it's something completely other than him talking to some other girl on his phone or doing something sketchy on his phone. But I would definitely also try to get to the root of the issue. But at the same time, I would probably also go through his phone. Sorry. Alex, be real with me. Do I need to tell my new boyfriend that my last relationship ended because I cheated on my ex? Hmm. Well. I think if it ever came up, I want to give two different answers right now, and that's the problem.I would I, like me a few years ago probably would have been like, No, you never need to tell him. That's fine. But now, since I've been in a healthy relationship, minutes. You could be there even for 10 or 15 minutes. And then you're sitting there talking to this guy. And then I would just start talking to him and be like, oh, yeah, I would just... My friends are in the bathroom. I don't know where they went. So how are you? I don't know. I would just make something up and start talking to him. Where are you from? Oh, cool. I would really say, personally, my go to move is at the bar.That's where I met Braxton, at the bar, and getting a drink together because then you're just forced to talk to each other. And then I think when you're talking to them, giving them a flirty type of... Your eye contact is so big. Like eye contact, maybe look them up and down a little bit. What did I say? It's like a triangle. You're supposed to look like left, up, down, right, right, up, down, left, or something like that. It makes them, I don't know. It's like a triangle of flirty eye contact. And just be chill and cool and flirty and fun and see where it goes. All right, that's all for this week's episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. I will see you guys next Thursday. Don't forget to subscribe or like or follow this podcast wherever you're watching, listening. It means so much. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Bye. I've been moving like a hot mess.I don't want no trouble. I want checks. I don't want the second. I want best.Listen up, you naughty little pelicans.It's It's Harry Jauzy here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s, it's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boyfriend Material with Harry Jauzy comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all. Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi every Tuesday here on Spotify. Potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi on Spotify.

I was truly like, I would be snappy or be bitchy because I was just trying to be that girl. And it really, oh, my God, I can't think about her.

No, but that's also just part of life and learning and growing. You have to go through all these different phases and experiences to really find out who you are. But I've learned with confidence, just really being myself. It's like take it or leave it. I'm not going to really try to be someone or something that I'm not to impress other people. You don't want to be around people who like you for something that really isn't you. Yeah.

And that's another thing. I feel like acceptance is confidence. Because obviously, I personally think that looks, not looks, but the way that you feel that you look, the way you feel about yourself, plays into confidence. And I hate when people say that, oh, well, looks don't play into confidence or whatever. But when you look good, you feel good. And I think it's important for girls, I don't know, do whatever. If you want to dye your hair purple, if that makes you feel good, do that. If you want to dye your hair blonde, do that. That's why I'm always pro. Do what makes you feel good, because when you feel good, you'll be confident, you'll be better. I don't know. I always hate when people are so judgy about, oh, It's like, oh, she got something done to herself. It's like, well, if she wants to, whatever. But that's the thing is that you need to do it for yourself and not for other people.

Yeah, for other people. And you have to be aware of that. Not everyone is going to agree with everything everyone does. But if you're happy yourself. That's all that matters.

When I plumped up my lips to the world, I was so confident. I looked terrible, but I was so confident because I thought my lips look so good.

Having confidence is just so admirable. It's like you just don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks. It's part of it.

I think confidence is really the way that you talk to yourself internally. Also, wait, this is so sweet that you're just sitting here listening to us. I'm going to cry. You're so cute. I think with the way you talk to yourself about looks and such. Obviously, there's little things that you can do to make yourself feel better. You want to wear, I don't know, you like to wear baggy clothes or you like to wear tight clothes. Whatever makes you feel good makes you feel good. But there's also a point where you just have to accept who you are and you You have to live with that. You're only going to make yourself more miserable. And guess what? I always say this. If you're confident, you'll be hotter and look better because you just wear it better. You wear yourself better. I swear to God, Like on date- Because it's just about being comfortable with yourself and owning yourself. But have you ever gone to a party and say in a big baggy T-shirt or something where you just feel so comfortable and you almost see pictures of yourself in your face and your smile and you're like, wow, I look so cute and happy because you feel so confident.

It literally makes you shine from the inside out. So I feel like you really have to accept who you are and do things to make you feel good. But at the same time, you have to just accept who you are and what you are and your personality and the things you like and live like that. And I swear to God it comes through and it makes you prettier.

I agree with that 100 % because I feel like I went a lot of that this year and learned a lot of that this year. So many people now are like... People will just say to me, they're like, You're shining, you're whatever, you're this, you're that. You can see it. You look so happy. I'm more comfortable showing my personality online more now, and I was never comfortable with that before. But it was just because I was like, Well, this is who I am and I'm just going to do it. I feel like it's been only positive responses. I feel so great. I'm so happy with my life right now. I've just been having the best time. And I feel like a lot of people in my comments and everything have been like, you're doing so great. I love seeing what you're doing in your life and your personality. And I feel like that's just all this new found confidence that I've had.

No, but I think a lot of what... Obviously, I started posting on TikTok and stuff, and Ashton was also having fun with it and posting on there. But I I feel like you were so worked up and being similar to me. We're just a little bit different. We are. We are. And you were like, Well, I can't do these same exact things. And I was like, Yes, you can. You can do whatever you want to do. I feel like it took you a minute to get the hang of it.

And now I literally just post whatever I have fun with.

So I would say for anyone who's struggling with confidence, one-Be yourself. Yes. Be yourself and fake it to you, make it and pretend like you're a character if you need to and you feel weird in certain situations and you need a little bit of a push. But the second part is just accept yourself and love yourself and remind yourself that you're doing good, you're doing okay. And I'll say, I, like you said, you lost it. I really truly lost myself this past year. And it's so weird because I feel like I never really talk about this or say this, but this is something I came to the realization recently. Is like, obviously, my senior year of College, whatever. I got followers and it became a big thing where it's like, okay, you have managers reaching out to you, you have agents, lawyers, brands want to work with you. All these different people, you've publicists. So basically, for the first time in my life, I'm thrown into these big scenarios where you're going to big events and there's celebrities there. And I had people telling me, okay, wear this or do your hair like this or do your makeup like this or this is cool, this isn't cool.

And I feel like for the first time I was dealing with people just I don't know, telling me what to do and trying to shape me and what they thought would be best for me. And I feel like I lost myself.

I feel like in this world, you're so new and scared. You're like, yes, I'll do anything.

I would say yes to everything. Even when working with stylists and clothing, if I even hated an outfit, I was like, oh, my God, I love it. Because I just didn't have my own personal opinion because I thought that because everyone else was professional or had been in this industry for a while, I thought that they knew better. And maybe they do know better, but maybe they don't know what makes me feel good. So I don't know. I feel like I went through the phase of I cut my hair, I died it shorter, I stopped tanning. I was trying to do all these things. I don't know. I feel like I had a weird fashion spell where I didn't know what I wanted to wear, what I thought was cool. And then I realized I was like, wait.

Just do whatever you want. Yeah.

I was like, actually, for right now, I want bleach blonde hair and my tan orange skin. I want to wear clothes that make me feel hot and good. Sorry. I'm young and having fun. I'm not afraid of that anymore. I feel like I lost myself for a little bit there and just taking other people's opinions in a consideration so much.

But now you appreciate more your sense of self, I feel like, because you went through that phase. I feel like, especially in college and everything, every time you go out, everyone's like, What are you wearing? What are you wearing? What are you wearing? That is something I don't do anymore because I'm just going to wear whatever I want. I know where I'm going. I'm just going to do whatever. I just feel like it's so much more fun to not be like, Oh, all my friends are wearing jeans and a cute top, so I'm going to wear jeans and a cute top. Instead, just being like, I have this really cool outfit that I want to wear, and then you wear it, and it's more fun.

Yeah. I noticed I did that in high at Isabella's house and I replied or I said something, and people laughed. And I was like, I was It's funny? I've made it.When I got to high school and you were a junior, that helped me a lot because I was so scared. And I only had Katherine and Ava, and we didn't know anyone. And then we had you and your friend group. And you were like, you helped make friends. You would bring me out, which you still do. So grateful for you.Now we bring each other out. Yeah. Treat. Treat. Well, I feel like with that being said, we should get into somewhat what would Alex do. Ashton has to run off right now to catch the train because she's going to see Fisher right now.Should I wear my bikini shirt?I think you should, actually.Take it home.I think it could be cool. But okay, let's do some what would Alex Do? And let's get Ashton on the train In her Rave Girl era.I'm not taking the train. I don't know where you got that from.Oh, I just assumed you. Okay.Love you, Hot Mess. Okay.What would Alex do? What would Alex do? Okay, this is my favorite segment always because you guys write in your stories or your questions, and I tell you what I would do in these scenarios. I mean, I don't know. I feel like a bigger sister for you guys in this moment, hopefully, even though some of you guys are probably older than me. But I don't know if this good.But I do, even now, find myself tending to think that way. I'm like, Wait a minute. I'm like, Does everyone hate me or am I annoying? And I always usually ask Ashton, she's like, Alex, shut up. But I think truly the only way is, okay, if they're hanging out with you and they're your friends and they're around you, they probably like you. So I wouldn't overthink it too much or try not to. And then I think in a social setting When you're meeting people, I always meet people. And then I'm always like, oh, my God, wait, they hate me or, oh, they think I'm a bitch. And even when I meet you guys, I'm out and I'll turn to Brox and I'm like, wait, was I just a bitch? Does everyone think I'm so mean? He's like, you literally were so nice. I always get in my head in overthinking interactions. But there's nothing really you can do about that. And you just have to literally stop. But honestly, I still do it. So I don't know. I don't know. I'm not giving the best advice for this right now, but really try to just be okay know yourself.And as long as you're being a good person, there's nothing to be anxious about. That's what I always say. I'm like, okay, as long as we're being a good friend, being a good girlfriend, being nice to people, doing the right things, we can't get anxious about that much. If they don't like us for who we are, then that's their fault. Help a girl out, please. What shoes are guys wearing with shorts these days? I hate the shoes my boyfriend wear. I mean, my boyfriend wears. I feel like I will subtly just buy him a new pair as a gift, or does that make me a bitch? I don't I don't think that's making you a bitch at all. I think that's so nice. You're getting him a gift, and it's not going to be a problem to look at. I mean, shoes with shorts, I feel like there's not that many options for guys. I think just a plain pair of sneakers. I usually like, what does Braxton wear? He has this pair of golden goose sneakers that are just all white that I think is fine that he wears. I don't know. I don't really like when guys wear sandals or flip flops, but that's my personal preference.Maybe you guys like that, but something about a thong in between a guy's toes just doesn't settle right with me. I also am just scared of feet in general, so maybe that's why. But shoes with shorts, Yeah, I think just a low top pair of sneakers. I would buy him one as a gift and then make him wear it because you're like, Oh, I got you this gift. Do you not like it? You must wear it. Then I think, I'm kidding, but don't be mean. But I think the way to go about it is get him a new pair of sneakers. He's going to put them on and then just compliment the shit out of him. Be like, oh, my God, these look so good on you. Baby, you look so good today. I love the way these look. Oh, my gosh. And you complimenting him, he'll get the hand of like, wow, I really look good in these. Maybe I like these sneakers better than the other ones that you don't like that he's wearing. That's what I would do. Hey, Alex. I was talking to a guy for the past month and we've been on three dates.Last week, he just stopped responding to me out of the blue mid-convo. Today, he unfollowed me on Instagram. He's completely ghosting me. Should I call him out? What would Alex do? Don't call him out. Let him run. Let him go. There's nothing you can do about that. And I think the worst thing that you could do, if you ever want to change this guy's mind, I think the worst thing you could do is literally go harass him and make him think that you really care. Just like, you've been on three dates. I don't know. This is seeming like he unfollowed you. I don't know. That's seeming like something bigger happened than a ghost. He's really running away. So I don't know. Maybe he's getting back with an ex-girlfriend or something or something scary. But who cares? We don't have to worry about what he's thinking. He's not the one. If he's running away from you, probably not the guy we want to be with. I think the only thing you can really do is, or personally, what I would do, what Alex would do, I just would... I don't know. You just got to move on.There's nothing you can do about that. Never chase a guy, never hunt him down, never let him know that you're upset. And it's summer. Go have a hot girl summer and go have fun. Hey, Alex, I know this is wrong, but I figured out the password to my boyfriend's phone, and I'm thinking about going through it. We've recently moved in together and I feel like the vibes have shifted, and he's way less affectionate towards me lately. Do I go through his phone just to see if something fishy is happening? What would Alex do? I think, yeah. I mean, if you're feeling off, I think you need to just double check. And if he's being a good boyfriend and you're living together, then there should be nothing wrong and should be nothing for you to find. This is probably awful advice right now, but if it's going to give you some peace of mind, then maybe just take a little snoopy-doop while he's in the shower, while he's sleeping. Find a time, get in there, take a little snoop, even though you should trust each other, but it's seeming like you're already having these hesitations. So you have to either...If you're going to go through his phone, is that going to be the end of it, though, or are you still going to feel fishy and weird? Because that's my other of this is I'm like, that might not be the end. I'll be all of you feeling weird if he's not being affectionate towards you. So maybe I'm retracting what I'm saying right now. The thing is here, I'm not always giving the best advice. I'm just saying what I would do. Personally, I would go through his phone and just check. And I just need to check and then we can move on from there. If he's still being weird and fishy, then maybe something's off and maybe it's something completely other than him talking to some other girl on his phone or doing something sketchy on his phone. But I would definitely also try to get to the root of the issue. But at the same time, I would probably also go through his phone. Sorry. Alex, be real with me. Do I need to tell my new boyfriend that my last relationship ended because I cheated on my ex? Hmm. Well. I think if it ever came up, I want to give two different answers right now, and that's the problem.I would I, like me a few years ago probably would have been like, No, you never need to tell him. That's fine. But now, since I've been in a healthy relationship, minutes. You could be there even for 10 or 15 minutes. And then you're sitting there talking to this guy. And then I would just start talking to him and be like, oh, yeah, I would just... My friends are in the bathroom. I don't know where they went. So how are you? I don't know. I would just make something up and start talking to him. Where are you from? Oh, cool. I would really say, personally, my go to move is at the bar.That's where I met Braxton, at the bar, and getting a drink together because then you're just forced to talk to each other. And then I think when you're talking to them, giving them a flirty type of... Your eye contact is so big. Like eye contact, maybe look them up and down a little bit. What did I say? It's like a triangle. You're supposed to look like left, up, down, right, right, up, down, left, or something like that. It makes them, I don't know. It's like a triangle of flirty eye contact. And just be chill and cool and flirty and fun and see where it goes. All right, that's all for this week's episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. I will see you guys next Thursday. Don't forget to subscribe or like or follow this podcast wherever you're watching, listening. It means so much. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Bye. I've been moving like a hot mess.I don't want no trouble. I want checks. I don't want the second. I want best.Listen up, you naughty little pelicans.It's It's Harry Jauzy here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s, it's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boyfriend Material with Harry Jauzy comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all. Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi every Tuesday here on Spotify. Potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi on Spotify.

at Isabella's house and I replied or I said something, and people laughed. And I was like, I was It's funny? I've made it.

When I got to high school and you were a junior, that helped me a lot because I was so scared. And I only had Katherine and Ava, and we didn't know anyone. And then we had you and your friend group. And you were like, you helped make friends. You would bring me out, which you still do. So grateful for you.

Now we bring each other out. Yeah. Treat. Treat. Well, I feel like with that being said, we should get into somewhat what would Alex do. Ashton has to run off right now to catch the train because she's going to see Fisher right now.

Should I wear my bikini shirt?

I think you should, actually.

Take it home.

I think it could be cool. But okay, let's do some what would Alex Do? And let's get Ashton on the train In her Rave Girl era.

I'm not taking the train. I don't know where you got that from.

Oh, I just assumed you. Okay.

Love you, Hot Mess. Okay.

What would Alex do? What would Alex do? Okay, this is my favorite segment always because you guys write in your stories or your questions, and I tell you what I would do in these scenarios. I mean, I don't know. I feel like a bigger sister for you guys in this moment, hopefully, even though some of you guys are probably older than me. But I don't know if this good.But I do, even now, find myself tending to think that way. I'm like, Wait a minute. I'm like, Does everyone hate me or am I annoying? And I always usually ask Ashton, she's like, Alex, shut up. But I think truly the only way is, okay, if they're hanging out with you and they're your friends and they're around you, they probably like you. So I wouldn't overthink it too much or try not to. And then I think in a social setting When you're meeting people, I always meet people. And then I'm always like, oh, my God, wait, they hate me or, oh, they think I'm a bitch. And even when I meet you guys, I'm out and I'll turn to Brox and I'm like, wait, was I just a bitch? Does everyone think I'm so mean? He's like, you literally were so nice. I always get in my head in overthinking interactions. But there's nothing really you can do about that. And you just have to literally stop. But honestly, I still do it. So I don't know. I don't know. I'm not giving the best advice for this right now, but really try to just be okay know yourself.And as long as you're being a good person, there's nothing to be anxious about. That's what I always say. I'm like, okay, as long as we're being a good friend, being a good girlfriend, being nice to people, doing the right things, we can't get anxious about that much. If they don't like us for who we are, then that's their fault. Help a girl out, please. What shoes are guys wearing with shorts these days? I hate the shoes my boyfriend wear. I mean, my boyfriend wears. I feel like I will subtly just buy him a new pair as a gift, or does that make me a bitch? I don't I don't think that's making you a bitch at all. I think that's so nice. You're getting him a gift, and it's not going to be a problem to look at. I mean, shoes with shorts, I feel like there's not that many options for guys. I think just a plain pair of sneakers. I usually like, what does Braxton wear? He has this pair of golden goose sneakers that are just all white that I think is fine that he wears. I don't know. I don't really like when guys wear sandals or flip flops, but that's my personal preference.Maybe you guys like that, but something about a thong in between a guy's toes just doesn't settle right with me. I also am just scared of feet in general, so maybe that's why. But shoes with shorts, Yeah, I think just a low top pair of sneakers. I would buy him one as a gift and then make him wear it because you're like, Oh, I got you this gift. Do you not like it? You must wear it. Then I think, I'm kidding, but don't be mean. But I think the way to go about it is get him a new pair of sneakers. He's going to put them on and then just compliment the shit out of him. Be like, oh, my God, these look so good on you. Baby, you look so good today. I love the way these look. Oh, my gosh. And you complimenting him, he'll get the hand of like, wow, I really look good in these. Maybe I like these sneakers better than the other ones that you don't like that he's wearing. That's what I would do. Hey, Alex. I was talking to a guy for the past month and we've been on three dates.Last week, he just stopped responding to me out of the blue mid-convo. Today, he unfollowed me on Instagram. He's completely ghosting me. Should I call him out? What would Alex do? Don't call him out. Let him run. Let him go. There's nothing you can do about that. And I think the worst thing that you could do, if you ever want to change this guy's mind, I think the worst thing you could do is literally go harass him and make him think that you really care. Just like, you've been on three dates. I don't know. This is seeming like he unfollowed you. I don't know. That's seeming like something bigger happened than a ghost. He's really running away. So I don't know. Maybe he's getting back with an ex-girlfriend or something or something scary. But who cares? We don't have to worry about what he's thinking. He's not the one. If he's running away from you, probably not the guy we want to be with. I think the only thing you can really do is, or personally, what I would do, what Alex would do, I just would... I don't know. You just got to move on.There's nothing you can do about that. Never chase a guy, never hunt him down, never let him know that you're upset. And it's summer. Go have a hot girl summer and go have fun. Hey, Alex, I know this is wrong, but I figured out the password to my boyfriend's phone, and I'm thinking about going through it. We've recently moved in together and I feel like the vibes have shifted, and he's way less affectionate towards me lately. Do I go through his phone just to see if something fishy is happening? What would Alex do? I think, yeah. I mean, if you're feeling off, I think you need to just double check. And if he's being a good boyfriend and you're living together, then there should be nothing wrong and should be nothing for you to find. This is probably awful advice right now, but if it's going to give you some peace of mind, then maybe just take a little snoopy-doop while he's in the shower, while he's sleeping. Find a time, get in there, take a little snoop, even though you should trust each other, but it's seeming like you're already having these hesitations. So you have to either...If you're going to go through his phone, is that going to be the end of it, though, or are you still going to feel fishy and weird? Because that's my other of this is I'm like, that might not be the end. I'll be all of you feeling weird if he's not being affectionate towards you. So maybe I'm retracting what I'm saying right now. The thing is here, I'm not always giving the best advice. I'm just saying what I would do. Personally, I would go through his phone and just check. And I just need to check and then we can move on from there. If he's still being weird and fishy, then maybe something's off and maybe it's something completely other than him talking to some other girl on his phone or doing something sketchy on his phone. But I would definitely also try to get to the root of the issue. But at the same time, I would probably also go through his phone. Sorry. Alex, be real with me. Do I need to tell my new boyfriend that my last relationship ended because I cheated on my ex? Hmm. Well. I think if it ever came up, I want to give two different answers right now, and that's the problem.I would I, like me a few years ago probably would have been like, No, you never need to tell him. That's fine. But now, since I've been in a healthy relationship, minutes. You could be there even for 10 or 15 minutes. And then you're sitting there talking to this guy. And then I would just start talking to him and be like, oh, yeah, I would just... My friends are in the bathroom. I don't know where they went. So how are you? I don't know. I would just make something up and start talking to him. Where are you from? Oh, cool. I would really say, personally, my go to move is at the bar.That's where I met Braxton, at the bar, and getting a drink together because then you're just forced to talk to each other. And then I think when you're talking to them, giving them a flirty type of... Your eye contact is so big. Like eye contact, maybe look them up and down a little bit. What did I say? It's like a triangle. You're supposed to look like left, up, down, right, right, up, down, left, or something like that. It makes them, I don't know. It's like a triangle of flirty eye contact. And just be chill and cool and flirty and fun and see where it goes. All right, that's all for this week's episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. I will see you guys next Thursday. Don't forget to subscribe or like or follow this podcast wherever you're watching, listening. It means so much. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Bye. I've been moving like a hot mess.I don't want no trouble. I want checks. I don't want the second. I want best.Listen up, you naughty little pelicans.It's It's Harry Jauzy here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s, it's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boyfriend Material with Harry Jauzy comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all. Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi every Tuesday here on Spotify. Potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi on Spotify.

good.

But I do, even now, find myself tending to think that way. I'm like, Wait a minute. I'm like, Does everyone hate me or am I annoying? And I always usually ask Ashton, she's like, Alex, shut up. But I think truly the only way is, okay, if they're hanging out with you and they're your friends and they're around you, they probably like you. So I wouldn't overthink it too much or try not to. And then I think in a social setting When you're meeting people, I always meet people. And then I'm always like, oh, my God, wait, they hate me or, oh, they think I'm a bitch. And even when I meet you guys, I'm out and I'll turn to Brox and I'm like, wait, was I just a bitch? Does everyone think I'm so mean? He's like, you literally were so nice. I always get in my head in overthinking interactions. But there's nothing really you can do about that. And you just have to literally stop. But honestly, I still do it. So I don't know. I don't know. I'm not giving the best advice for this right now, but really try to just be okay know yourself.

And as long as you're being a good person, there's nothing to be anxious about. That's what I always say. I'm like, okay, as long as we're being a good friend, being a good girlfriend, being nice to people, doing the right things, we can't get anxious about that much. If they don't like us for who we are, then that's their fault. Help a girl out, please. What shoes are guys wearing with shorts these days? I hate the shoes my boyfriend wear. I mean, my boyfriend wears. I feel like I will subtly just buy him a new pair as a gift, or does that make me a bitch? I don't I don't think that's making you a bitch at all. I think that's so nice. You're getting him a gift, and it's not going to be a problem to look at. I mean, shoes with shorts, I feel like there's not that many options for guys. I think just a plain pair of sneakers. I usually like, what does Braxton wear? He has this pair of golden goose sneakers that are just all white that I think is fine that he wears. I don't know. I don't really like when guys wear sandals or flip flops, but that's my personal preference.

Maybe you guys like that, but something about a thong in between a guy's toes just doesn't settle right with me. I also am just scared of feet in general, so maybe that's why. But shoes with shorts, Yeah, I think just a low top pair of sneakers. I would buy him one as a gift and then make him wear it because you're like, Oh, I got you this gift. Do you not like it? You must wear it. Then I think, I'm kidding, but don't be mean. But I think the way to go about it is get him a new pair of sneakers. He's going to put them on and then just compliment the shit out of him. Be like, oh, my God, these look so good on you. Baby, you look so good today. I love the way these look. Oh, my gosh. And you complimenting him, he'll get the hand of like, wow, I really look good in these. Maybe I like these sneakers better than the other ones that you don't like that he's wearing. That's what I would do. Hey, Alex. I was talking to a guy for the past month and we've been on three dates.

Last week, he just stopped responding to me out of the blue mid-convo. Today, he unfollowed me on Instagram. He's completely ghosting me. Should I call him out? What would Alex do? Don't call him out. Let him run. Let him go. There's nothing you can do about that. And I think the worst thing that you could do, if you ever want to change this guy's mind, I think the worst thing you could do is literally go harass him and make him think that you really care. Just like, you've been on three dates. I don't know. This is seeming like he unfollowed you. I don't know. That's seeming like something bigger happened than a ghost. He's really running away. So I don't know. Maybe he's getting back with an ex-girlfriend or something or something scary. But who cares? We don't have to worry about what he's thinking. He's not the one. If he's running away from you, probably not the guy we want to be with. I think the only thing you can really do is, or personally, what I would do, what Alex would do, I just would... I don't know. You just got to move on.

There's nothing you can do about that. Never chase a guy, never hunt him down, never let him know that you're upset. And it's summer. Go have a hot girl summer and go have fun. Hey, Alex, I know this is wrong, but I figured out the password to my boyfriend's phone, and I'm thinking about going through it. We've recently moved in together and I feel like the vibes have shifted, and he's way less affectionate towards me lately. Do I go through his phone just to see if something fishy is happening? What would Alex do? I think, yeah. I mean, if you're feeling off, I think you need to just double check. And if he's being a good boyfriend and you're living together, then there should be nothing wrong and should be nothing for you to find. This is probably awful advice right now, but if it's going to give you some peace of mind, then maybe just take a little snoopy-doop while he's in the shower, while he's sleeping. Find a time, get in there, take a little snoop, even though you should trust each other, but it's seeming like you're already having these hesitations. So you have to either...

If you're going to go through his phone, is that going to be the end of it, though, or are you still going to feel fishy and weird? Because that's my other of this is I'm like, that might not be the end. I'll be all of you feeling weird if he's not being affectionate towards you. So maybe I'm retracting what I'm saying right now. The thing is here, I'm not always giving the best advice. I'm just saying what I would do. Personally, I would go through his phone and just check. And I just need to check and then we can move on from there. If he's still being weird and fishy, then maybe something's off and maybe it's something completely other than him talking to some other girl on his phone or doing something sketchy on his phone. But I would definitely also try to get to the root of the issue. But at the same time, I would probably also go through his phone. Sorry. Alex, be real with me. Do I need to tell my new boyfriend that my last relationship ended because I cheated on my ex? Hmm. Well. I think if it ever came up, I want to give two different answers right now, and that's the problem.

I would I, like me a few years ago probably would have been like, No, you never need to tell him. That's fine. But now, since I've been in a healthy relationship, minutes. You could be there even for 10 or 15 minutes. And then you're sitting there talking to this guy. And then I would just start talking to him and be like, oh, yeah, I would just... My friends are in the bathroom. I don't know where they went. So how are you? I don't know. I would just make something up and start talking to him. Where are you from? Oh, cool. I would really say, personally, my go to move is at the bar.That's where I met Braxton, at the bar, and getting a drink together because then you're just forced to talk to each other. And then I think when you're talking to them, giving them a flirty type of... Your eye contact is so big. Like eye contact, maybe look them up and down a little bit. What did I say? It's like a triangle. You're supposed to look like left, up, down, right, right, up, down, left, or something like that. It makes them, I don't know. It's like a triangle of flirty eye contact. And just be chill and cool and flirty and fun and see where it goes. All right, that's all for this week's episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. I will see you guys next Thursday. Don't forget to subscribe or like or follow this podcast wherever you're watching, listening. It means so much. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Bye. I've been moving like a hot mess.I don't want no trouble. I want checks. I don't want the second. I want best.Listen up, you naughty little pelicans.It's It's Harry Jauzy here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s, it's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boyfriend Material with Harry Jauzy comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all. Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi every Tuesday here on Spotify. Potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi on Spotify.

minutes. You could be there even for 10 or 15 minutes. And then you're sitting there talking to this guy. And then I would just start talking to him and be like, oh, yeah, I would just... My friends are in the bathroom. I don't know where they went. So how are you? I don't know. I would just make something up and start talking to him. Where are you from? Oh, cool. I would really say, personally, my go to move is at the bar.

That's where I met Braxton, at the bar, and getting a drink together because then you're just forced to talk to each other. And then I think when you're talking to them, giving them a flirty type of... Your eye contact is so big. Like eye contact, maybe look them up and down a little bit. What did I say? It's like a triangle. You're supposed to look like left, up, down, right, right, up, down, left, or something like that. It makes them, I don't know. It's like a triangle of flirty eye contact. And just be chill and cool and flirty and fun and see where it goes. All right, that's all for this week's episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. I will see you guys next Thursday. Don't forget to subscribe or like or follow this podcast wherever you're watching, listening. It means so much. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Bye. I've been moving like a hot mess.

I don't want no trouble. I want checks. I don't want the second. I want best.

Listen up, you naughty little pelicans.

It's It's Harry Jauzy here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s, it's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boyfriend Material with Harry Jauzy comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all. Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi every Tuesday here on Spotify. Potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jaisi on Spotify.