Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at deathsquad. Tv, and now on Spotify and Apple podcast. If you want to check out Tony Hinchcliff's website, go to tonyhinchcliff. Com. Everything Golden Pony, including his tour dates at tonyhinchcliff. Com. If you want to check out the Sunset Strip or get some Death Squad merch, go to deathsquad. Tv. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Please rise for the singing of your national anthem by international music superstar and the best bass player in the world, Tal Wilkenfeld. Oh, say, can you share by the dawn's early light? What so proudly we hailed? At the twilights last gleaming. Whose broad stripes and bright stars. Through the perilous fight. Over ramparts we watch. We're so gallantly streaming. ♪ Gave proof through the night ♪ That our flag was still there. ♪ Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave over the land of the free? And I'm gone, The home, the home, the home of the brand. The home of kill Tony. You guys might witness history at some point.

Give it up for Tony Hitzkland. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from the Comedy Store. How are you guys doing today? We got a brand new podcast here, guys. First episode, pilot episode. Give it up for Tony Hinchcliff. This thing's already a hit. Yeah, that's right. That's hilarious. I got really high one night, and I had the idea that I'm going to do a podcast on a Monday night at the Comedy Store. Fifty or 60 comedians come here every Sunday and Monday at 6:00. It's a mob. It's unbelievable. When you set a Monday 8:00 podcast, I'm like, How can we use the natural resource of this building to our advantage? I said, What if we give everybody one minute and see how it goes? Yeah, it's a growing podcast, guys. You never know what's going to go. It's so experimental. It's crazy. This whole thing can fucking explode at any given moment. Hey, this is Redback. Coming to you live from an arena. Jim Norton, Hope Miller. Chilly Roll. Tucker Carlson and Joe Ron. Quynona Judd, everybody. Dave Hattel and David Spade. Roseanne Barr, 10 For the fucking years, who's ready to party?

Kill Harder. This is the best goddamn show in the world. Amazing. It's so ridiculous that only a few hundred thousand people listen every episode. Those jokes fell flatter than your chest. You got a bigger chest than I do. I know. Well, so does his table. Breaking the mold here on Kill Tony. This is the first time we've ever had a a fully grown Chucky doll perform. I'll send an Uber Black and an Uber XL because you're both of those things. She's an absolute killer. She's one of our favorite people. It's Tiffany Hadish, everybody. We're all put your hands together for Adam Ray. Ladies and gentlemen, America's Dad, former Comedy Store host of 10 years, Bob Saget. Brody Stevens, everybody. Steven Brody Stevens. You got it. Have the reason I'm in the wheelchair is 'cause my dick's so heavy. It's the great William Montgomery, everyone. Where the fuck is Tony Chien? I'm tired of being Bigger Black. You know what I mean? Michael Lahr, everybody. Come on. David Lucas. It's William Montgomery. Malcolm Hatchet. Ellie Mckowski. Sarah Weinshank. Melissa Esslinger. Kimberly Congdon, everybody. You never officially named it. I wanted to name it Hinchcliffe, so then you started saying, Well, it's a pilot, so you can change the name.

Then I started thinking, Well, I mean, now that that's in the air, maybe it's changeable. That's what I've been thinking. I feel like Kiltani is up there, man. Really? What do you guys think? Hinchputs notes or Kiltoni? Kiltoni. Really? Well, that seems like it's it, Kiltoni.

Hey, this is Red Bear coming to you live from the Keia Forum here in Los Angeles, California, for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get up for Tony Hitchcock. Ready for the best fucking night of their lives. Yippie. Los Angeles, California. Make some noise for Brian Redband, everybody. Oh, shit. We made it. We're back, baby. First time in LA in over four years. The great Jetsky Johnson joining the band. How about one more time for the entire damn best damn band in the ladies and gentlemen? The great and powerful Fernando Castillo on the horns. Raul Valejo, Carlos Sosa, Michael González on the drums. Daniel Mandelman joining on keys tonight. The great Jetski Johnson, again, she's here live in the flesh. The Mutilator, Mutation, Matt Muling on the electric guitar. We told him we're doing Madison Square Garden tonight. It's D Madness on the bass, everybody. Oh, my God. Our first show in LA in over four years. The last time we did a show in Los Angeles, of course, it was at the Comedy Store in the main room during the pandemic in front of zero audience members. We streamed to the parking lot live in front of 16 people all having to wear masks, separated 10 feet apart.

The city of Los Angeles. Yeah, I know. How do you think we feel? We moved to fucking Texas. On top of all that, the city of Los Angeles gave the Comedy Store a ticket that night for us doing a live show. But I don't see a fucking mask, and I don't see any people separated at all tonight. Tonight's going to be an unbelievable fucking time. I'm so excited to be here with all of you. This is where for our YouTube show, we would go to a commercial break. The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas, is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx. Com for tickets. Hey, all. This podcast is sponsored by Hims. Guys, your sex life is important, but your schedule is busy. You don't have time to go to the doctor's office to get treated for your erectile dysfunction. Though, if you go through Hims, now you can get treated for ED without stepping foot outside your door. Hims is changing men's health care by providing access to affordable sexual health treatments from the comfort of your couch. Speaking of a couch, a red band. Hims provides access to doctor-trusted ED treatment options such as chewable hard mints, brand-named treatments like Viagra or generic alternatives for up to 95% cheaper.

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I present to you one of the funniest people I know, one of the greatest rock stars in the world. This is Post Melo. Oh, it's fucking on. The classic D Madness fist bump. Postie, come over here. Come sit over here. How about one more time for Tim Dylan and Post Malone, everybody? Oh, yeah. We're going to have fucking on tonight. A lot of amazing things lined up, including random ass bucket pulls. Hundreds of people signed up for the opportunity. Tim Post, you've guests on the show. You guys know how it works. If I pull somebody's name out of this crazy ass, fucking very dense bucket tonight, they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. They could literally become a star here tonight. There's no doubt about it. If anybody has an opportunity to become absolutely famous or embarrass the hell out of themselves. This is an extra special edition of Kill Tony because all the executives and owners of Netflix are here. So literally, you could go... Oh, Netflix gets booed? All right. Well, there's also executives from YouTube here. Oh, no, we're going to get in big trouble for this. You guys may have just fucked up a multimillion dollar deal for us.

Thank you. They just shut off the lights right now. They cut the whole fucking thing. You guys boo Netflix? What's What's wrong with you fucking evil fucks? All right, all right, all right. Also, there's some executives from Hulu here tonight. There's executives from Amazon Prime here. There you go. That's going to make the Netflix people much happier knowing that you hate Amazon and Hulu more than them. So good. You guys fucking love YouTube, huh? What the fuck? Oh, Oh, my God. What is happening in the world? The industry is changing, ladies and gentlemen. We are watching it live. They get 60 seconds. You know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitty. That means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out who is live. He's from here. He's here. It is the angry West Hollywood bear, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Delia. Where are you? Delia. Delia. Keith Cordis has joined the fray, ladies and gentlemen. Defending the stage tonight from people that try to go over their time. He is a little baby bear. He is a sweet little fucking thing. How adorable is that?

I bought that I took my costume off Amazon Prime three days ago. Yeah, and they go by ages. They don't go by sizes. I picked 10 to 11, and it fits like a fucking glove. He looks like something P. Diddy on Postmates. Let's fucking go. There's only one way to start a show like this, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to make sure that the pool... Okay, yeah, we're going to have to wrangle that person. No, let's wrangle that person. To start the show, getting a little bit more stage than he usually has to work with, ladies and gentlemen. An absolute superstar of mass proportions. He was introduced, of course, after Hans versus Rick Part One to be the temporary opener of the show. He's grabbed the world by the balls here with a A brand new minute, getting it all started. Make some goddamn noise for Austin, Texas's own, Casey Rocket. Because I'm wanted, wanted, dead or alive. Yeah.. Oh, Last time I did ketamine was recently. Ketamine fits my active lifestyle. And by active lifestyle, I mean Shit. This is a true story. Me and my friend were on ketamine, and a couple of you...

It's not a relapse if it's ketamine. And we had... That's in the Bible. We had each other by the shoulders, and we were rocking in perfect synchronicity. This is true. We were staring each other in the eyes, and we were praying as fast as we could. I don't know if you've ever prayed on ketamine, but those had to have been some fucking confusing prayers. Just, dear Lord, please make me big and small at the same time, sweet Lord. Please give me a water bed full of whole milk, sweet God. I He's always a picture of God in heaven watching all the prayers go by, and he's like, What was that fucking last one? He's like, Should we OD these guys? He's like, Good luck. All right, thank you. I'm Casey Rocket. Thank you. Wow. The one and the only, Casey Rocket.Thank you.How do you feel right now, Casey? I feel beautiful. I feel beautiful. Thank you. This is an unbelievable look tonight. Did you break into Rod Stewart's closet or something? What is... I was thinking Kmart, Jim Morris. It doesn't look as good as I thought it was going to look. I'll be completely honest with you.

But it looks good. I haven't had this much fun since me and Nicki 6 burned down that food bank. This is one of the best nights of my life. This is amazing. What are the differences for a guy like you performing here compared to the usually very tight stage of the mothership? Thank you for asking, Tony. All right, yeah. Come on now. Some folks are on, made to wave the flag. All right. They're just having fun tonight. Just being a little bastard. I don't know. It's more room, more people, more room to express myself. I want to thank everybody at Netflix for letting me be here tonight. Wait, no. They did not book you. It was me that booked you, Casey. It wasn't at Netflix. I missed that part. Okay. Now I'm mad at Netflix. How dare they take credit for this. They We have frozen yogurt machine for us in the back. It's good. So, Casey, what else is going on? You've been to Los Angeles before? A couple of times. This is my third time in LA. Thank you. Yeah, this is fun. This is a fun city. I went to the place that's like a train and serves hot dogs today.

That was fun.Carnies.Carnies. Train Hot Dog. Yeah. Spending time with loved ones, making new friends, and watching Netflix on my tablet. Okay, there you go. Stop booing Netflix now. I will turn out I I will... Fuck you guys. This is the weirdest show ever where people just love pissing off the host. I don't know how it turned this over 11 years. All I do is give and give and give to you ungrateful fucks. Casey Rocket. How was your travel? Did you have a good seat on the airplane? How does a guy like you? Anything weird? Normally, do you do any tus? Yeah, when you do, it's the opposite of getting... How they serve you alcohol in first class. If you sit at the very, very pack, they give you a bottle of dust. So it was actually pretty cool. It was me, it was Heath in the bear costume, and we shared a bottle of dust. We body box the plane ride from hell like Rob Lesner. So it was pretty fun. I fucking love it, Casey. I love your energy. I love your fucking style, your swagger, everything. You've done it yet again. We absolutely love you.

Way to get the show started. Is there anything else that you want to... Are you taking suggestions from the audience? Could you sing a door song? What? Would you sing a door song for us right now? A door song? Okay. All right. Play it again. Keep it The best damn band in the land on the ones and twos. Riders on the storm. And do this house we're born. Into this world we're thrown. Like Hector Alamone, Al Capone. ♪ All right, there's all this door. Kc Rocket. And like that, the show has begun. One more time for KC Rocket, ladies and gentlemen.Thank you, guys.I appreciate it. There we go. Fuck, yeah. There he goes, the Rocket Man himself. And like that, the show has begun. In our first bucket pull, we had to pre-pull and wrangle him from Section G, row 20, seat seven. And now he's on the stage representing the audience. Oh, well, well, well. It is indeed the lovely Heidi, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my God. Look at all the furious liberal women in the audience right now. Bunch of chics with multi-colored hair and angry faces out there right now. All right, everybody, your first bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of Sean Mcabry.

We're going to meet them all together. 60 seconds, uninterrupted. Sean Macabre. All right. I think there's a There's a correlation between girls that own cats and have a stinky vagina. It's because they never clean their box as often as they should, obviously. But I was actually tattooing this stripper's asshole, and she got a pentagram around it, and that shit was wafting at me. I don't know if you've ever walked by a dumpster and been like, There's definitely something dead inside there. But that was what I smelled. Then to top it off, she queefed in my face. That was pretty rude. But yeah, so it didn't stop me from dating her for a few months, though. You got to get in where you fit in. But yeah, that wasn't the first time. A couple of other times I tattooed assholes. One was a spider crawling out, and the other girl got a rose around. Thank you. Okay, Sean Macabre. How do you say that? Macabre. Macabre. Post Malone was right. Fuck yeah. What's up, Tim? What's up, brother? Can't believe Post Malone reads better than I do. It's fucking just full of surprises, dude. Thank you for correcting him.

Absolutely incredible. Post, you look like you've tattooed a few assholes in your day. This seems like you're a comedian here. How How many times have you done stand-up? This is my first time. First time ever. There you go. Ever. Who the hell makes their comedy debut at the LA Forum? It's fucking crazy. A guy that tattoos women with Smelly Pussies. Absolutely. I wonder if she's here. So, Sean, is that all the material that you prepared? Yeah, basically. Is stand-up something that you've wanted to do? Yeah, it's something since I've been watching this show for the last couple of years, yeah.And you give tattoos-I've signed up four other times.In Austin?Yup. And you give tattoos for a living? I do for 18 years, yeah. Okay. And you're doing comedy Because Avenged Sevenfold didn't work out. It's not the first time I've heard that one. Yeah. Basically, thanks, folks. If that's not the first time you've heard that, you should change something about yourself. True. So Sean, you must have seen a lot in these years of tattooing. What else are you into? What else do you have going on in your life? What other hobbies and things do you have?

Well, shit, dude. I make comic books. I do live art at Raves. I've been tattooing forever. Wow. How long have you been on Fentanyl? I mean, never tried it that I know of. I'm sure it's probably getting slipped in there a few times. Absolutely. Do you just tattoo assholes or you'll do any area of the body? I mean, you want one, Tim? I want Amy Schumer on my asshole. Let's do it. Can we do it? It won't take much work. You said you did comic books, too. I'd imagine a whole entire tome out of asshole skin with just beautiful drawing.Thank you, sir.Oh, thank you. That's amazing.Thank you.Oh, that's what he needs. More bad Tattoos. It's just pictures of assholes with spiders. It's not a comic book at all. Is it a scratch and sniff? Does it smell like a bad pussy? I will be using it tonight, but I haven't... No, that's your finger that smells like a bad pussy. So, Sean, what else? What type of childhood did you have to where you end up going to raves and tattooing people for an entire lifetime? I mean, not too bad. I lived in France for a year.

I mean, not too bad of a childhood. My parents split up. Yeah, we know. For France. Yeah, what What the heck is that? I lived in France. I lived in France for a year. I mean, you're right. It was shitty. Okay. I mean, not too bad, actually. It's been all right. It's been all right. Craziest thing that's ever happened to you in your entire life. You're in the interview part of Kill Tony. You've been watching this show for years. You may have planned for the minute. Did you plan for this? Not entirely. Wow. Not entirely. Your soul is over there. It just answered the question. Absolutely incredible. No, but let's see, I've fucking been skydiving. You ever done that, Tony? Did the parachute, unfortunately, work? Unfortunately, it fucking worked. Unfortunately, it unfolded, but it almost didn't. We had to shimmy it To answer your question, no, I have never skydived. However, I have strapped a man to my own back before. Okay. Sean, what's your love life like? It's pretty crazy, man. I mean... Wow, sounds like it. I mean, which night you're talking about? What's the craziest thing you've ever done, sexually? I mean, Probably a threesome, two black chicks.

Whoa, two black chicks. The old Oreo cookie. Exactly. That's what I called it. Absolutely. Unbelievable. How did you end up with two black chicks? I tattooed one of them, and then they saw me walking down the street, and I heard them go, Let's fuck them.I was like, All right.That's it. One in the ink, two in the stink. Tattoo for One. Basically. Unbelievable. Is there something that you prefer about black women over white women? Their pussy's warmer. Wow, incredible. That is absolutely true. Everybody knows that is a scientific fact. I get all of my science from tattoo artists and Joe Rogan, so I'm basically a genius. Sean, congratulations. Your very first time on a stand-up comedy stage live at the LA Forum. I got to tell you, in a room this big, the small jokebook seems so much smaller. Sean, don't shake people's hands. Don't put people through that. There he goes. Sean, everybody. God damn it. Producing So tell people not to shake people's hands afterwards. All right. Wow. Unbelievable. I think the biggest takeaway from that interview is that Tony can't fucking read. Macabre is a weird word. M-a-c-a-b-r-e? Macabre? Macabre? Why would the R and the E be silent?

Anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, this can't be real, but I'm going to read it anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, okay. What the fuck is going on over here? Okay. Hands on your knees. Okay. They spelled the X wrong. Okay. Thank you. All right. Good try. Good try. Hey, all. This podcast is sponsored by DraftKings Sportsbook. We're heading into the final rounds of the NBA playoff, but have no fear. There's still time to get in on the action with our partners over at DraftKings Sportsbook. Right now, all new customers who deposit $5 will get a no-sweat bet up to $1,500. Get a bonus bet back the amount of your original bet if your first bet doesn't hit. So what are you waiting for? Download the DraftKings app now and sign up using our promo code Kill, Tony. The Crown is yours, Er-E-Man. That's right, Tony. If sports betting is not yet available in your state, don't worry. You can still join in in all the fun with DraftKings Daily fantasy and have a shot to win tons of cash prizes. It's a classic win-win situation, Tony. I love it. Classic indeed, Red Band. Don't wait. Evodella, the DraftKings Sportsbook app now.

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This can't possibly be my favorite presidential candidate in the world. Oh, my God. It is. Make some fucking noise for RFK Jr. 60 seconds uninterrupted starting now for RFK Jr. I'm not a stand-up comic, but I wanted to see if I had an aptitude for it. But there's a lot of angry comics back in the Green Room because they said, If I come out here and I get a laugh, I'm going to wreck it for William Montgomery. I don't know who William Montgomery is. My family, as it turns out, loves William Montgomery, too. They can't explain why they like William Montgomery. They just say, Well, he's been around a long, long time, and he's not you. If you go out there and you're funnier than William Montgomery, you're going to be a spoiler, and you're going to wreck it for him. I feel like I'm okay coming out here and talking about William Montgomery. I said to them, I just want to go out there and say hi to people, and they said, That's too much. Anyway, Anyway, I didn't really come prepared to tell a joke. My brain worm wrote some jokes for me.

He's very funny. He's got a lot of information. This is where I get most of my facts. A lot of his stuff is conspiracy theories. You have to filter that out. But he's funny. There were two leprechauns, and they were knee-walking drunk. They were so drunk that they could not... That has to be a minute. We were Let's not do... Let's... Make some noise for Sheryl Hines, everybody. Come on. I'm just saying I think that's a minute, and maybe we don't do accents right now. I think it's good to quit while you're ahead. I'm not going to quit. That was fucking awesome. How about a for RFK Jr. And Sheryl Heinz? How cool is this? Sheryl, welcome. How's life going post-curb right now. It's very relaxing. Just brain worms and presidential candidacies. I wake up to all kinds of things. For those of you that don't know, they found... How do you describe it? For those of you that might not know, there was a worm in his brain? We'll say yes. There was a worm in his brain, but it died. It's more common than you think.Wow.Sounds like Dune. Yeah. It sounds like Dune.

Dune? Tony, this show has done more for disabled people than the state of California. I RFK Jr. Such an honor to have you here for you to fucking flex having a sense of humor in front of the best comedy fans on planet Earth. It is a fucking pleasure to know that we have the possibility of having this man as the next President of the United States, everybody. We're going to give him the damn kill, Tony Bump. Isn't that right, people? All right, let's keep it moving. Another bucket pull. Straight out of the bucket. We're going to meet them all together. Make some noise. Make some noise for Jay Frunk, everybody. Jay Frunk, getting 60 seconds uninterrupted. We're going to meet them all together. Jay Frunk. Oh, it's bucket full number 2. Who do you, gango, gang violence, gang violence. Oh, snap. Okay. Down. Sorry, RFK Jr. I hope you don't follow in your forefather's footsteps there. But yeah, my bad. I'm new to LA. I met my first Satanist here. Nobody's a Satanist, right? Hopefully not. Yeah, they had tattoos everywhere and piercings and shit like that. But one thing I noticed is that they made Jesus into a midget.

It's like, What? Pause. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Well, I did have a contingency, if nothing else. I have nothing else. I have a list of roasts. Wow. All right. I'll take it. I'll take it. Jay Frank. Boy, oh, boy. Wow. Coming out sayingDavid Jolly. I saw you in Dallas. I love you. Wait, wait, wait. Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay to start your set. Then a joke about four fathers, which I'm guessing is four more fathers than you have in your life. Then continuous bomb, bomb, bomb. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Number one.This is your first time ever?Yes, sir. Wow. How many do you think he should retire now while he's ahead? Jay Frank, anything interesting about your life that you didn't talk about that you might find... Anything I didn't talk about? Anything interesting about your life that you didn't talk about in the minute? I'm an engineer. I'm a musician. It's my birthday today. Happy All right, sorry. Okay. You know what? You know what I'm going to do since it's your birthday? I'm going to give you a little joke book and get you out of here.

Okay. There he is, Jay Frank, everybody, making his Kill Tony debut. And unbelievably compelling two-minute interview. Well, that was good. What was good? What the fuck? You guys are a little too positive. You got to be mean when they suck. You know what I'm going to do? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give a set to literally one of the greatest legends in the history of the show. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you here to do a set. Make some noise for the 2023 Guest of the Year, Dr. Phil. Los Angeles, make some motherfucking noise if you're excited to be alive tonight. I can't hear motherfuckers. Holy shit. Holy shit. Would 'nt not, huh? Look at these titties coming down the second row. Good to see you guys. A little winded. I'm just here to take a shit, and then I'll get out of here. One more time for Aaron Bile. Sorry, RFK. Got some roast jokes. If you guys mind if I do a quick set real quick just to fire up the room? Prepared a couple of statements. Casey Rocket is here. Casey Rocket looks like he blows his nose with his hands.

It's pretty funny because it's true. Casey Rocket looks like if a mothball came to life. I like that one. Casey looks like his hole said he's trying to escape a crocodile for some fucking reason. Always wanted to know what a clown looked like under the face paint. We got it. Casey looks like... Casey looks like a Where are they now? Of Nickelodeon molestations. That's one you can laugh at at dinner and at breakfast. That's what we call a twofer. What else? Kam Patterson. Kam Patterson has the posture of a stepdad, the belly and the shoulders, the shoulder's back, the belly out. All right. Thought that was funny in my head, so I said it. Kam looks like P. Diddy's pool boy. That's a good one. Give it up for Diddy. He's somewhere. Kam's a great storyteller. Or as the court calls it, perjury. That's funny. Kam's mom accidentally got pregnant during the movie Friday After Next. That's why she calls him Mike Oops. That's a play on words. The actor Mike Epps. Shout out. William Montgomery is here. Give it up for William Montgomery. What a fucking legend and a gangster. William looks like he puts peanut butter on the dog's dick and then looks it off.

That's how... Hey, it's Tuesday somewhere, right? That's what she said. William looks like he should be on a Confederate coin. William looks like he sits down to pee but stands up to poop, but I've done that. Hey, no judgment, player. Just recognize He's organizing the game. What's up, dad? David Lucas is here. David. Yeah. Oh, we don't know if he's here. All right, well, I saw a food truck out front, so I assumed... Good save. Good save. Thanks, Tony. You know, David looks like he should be Ozen picking cotton, but I wrote that... I'll just wait for the laughter. David has 100% chance of dying on Rocky Road, the ice cream or police brutality. Either way, it's going to be one of those roll of the dice. We'll be right back. That's an impression of David's... Yeah, come on. We'll be right back is one of my favorite phrases. It's also an impression of David's feet before diabetes takes them. We'll keep her right here. That's one of my other favorite phrases. You probably heard me say, We'll keep her right here. We'll keep her right here. That's also my impression of David when a waiter tries to take away his dessert.

He just wants to leave it where it is, player. David's got a forehead like Roger from American Dad. Sorry, that's probably triggering since you never saw yours. What else we got here? Hans Kim is here. Give it up for Hans Kim, the great Hans Kim. You can do better than that. Let's go. Hans Kim can hear you. Hans looks like the second coolest kid on the math team. Why does Hans look like he bowels after he comes? Is that just me? Yeah, Hans is so started, he'd have to compete in the special squid games. That was funny in my head. You can use that at a party in front of your family. This battle between Hans and Rick, it's gotten so vicious. I haven't seen this much bad blood in the forum since Magic Johnson's last game, but that's a We're doing okay so far. Speed this up. Rick is here. Keep it going for Rick Diez. Rick's here. Rick Are you guys booing for Netflix or Rick? Rick is here. Rick versus Hans. This looks like a fight in a cancer ward. It's InCell versus Can'tSell. Rick, you look like the of a cartoon called Bob's Asperger.

Rick is from Spain. So can you Spain to me where the fuck your chin went? What else we got? We got Red Band. Keep it going for Brian Red Band over here. It's a fucking living I can't imagine. Brian Redband in the house, newly engaged. He's off the market. Red Band is... Red Band, you sound like the voice behind the camera on every casting couch born. Red Band is so creepy, he's not even allowed within of his inner child. That's funny. We got Tony Hinchcliff. Let's go kill Tony's own. Tony Hinchcliff is here. The man of the hour, baby. The man who put this all motherfucking show together. Tony motherfucking Hinchcliff. I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan. I've been watching you from afar, even though you're dressed like an agent for eGamers. You know, Tony killed on the Tom braided roast. Did you see Tony on the Tom braided roast? Fucking destroyed. He fucking destroyed. He made braided his bitch. He came out gums of blazing, and he just destroyed. No, Tony is maybe one of the quickest minds I've ever seen. One more time for Tony Hinchcliff. This guy, I met him 25 years ago, and he hasn't stopped bringing it.

He does look like he runs an ice cream parlor on Epstein Island, but he's one of the funniest guys that I've ever met. I think that's it. All right, that's it out of me. That's all my time. That's all I got for you. Dr. Phil, I got to tell you, you're the guest of the Year 2023. How many of you think Dr. Phil should stay on the show panel? Come on in, Dr. Phil. We got one more seat. We got an extra seat and an extra microphone. You can thank Snoop Dogg for taking a jet to New I got to work last night for some reason. But the only thing better than fucking Snoop, Dr. Phil, ladies and gentlemen, live in the flesh. Absolutely not. No, your mic's not on. We're going to get it on. Tony, white Snoop is actually my Xbox screen name, so this works out perfect. I fucking love it. Dr. Phil is with us for the rest of the show, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, all. This podcast is sponsored by Hims. Guys, your sex life is important, but your schedule is busy. You don't have time to go to the doctor's office to get treated for your erectile dysfunction.

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Temp check. What summer are we having this year? A family road trip summer, a beach bum summer, or a wake me when the sun sets summer? With Instacart, choose your own adventure and skip the shopping sidequests. Where available, you can get ice cream delivered to your hotel, sunscreen to the pool, or cold brew to your bed. Well, or in as fast as 30 minutes. Wherever you find yourself this summer, you can get the goods. Download Instacart for free delivery on your first three orders. Offer valid for a limited time. Minimum $10 per order, excludes restaurants, additional terms and fees apply. You know what? I think we should keep this lovely momentum going since both of the bucket pulls tonight were first-timers. You guys want to see another Kill Tony legend right now? I present to you a golden ticket winner, everybody. He was mentioned during Dr. Phil's set, and he's a fucking legend of the show. Months after making his Kill Tony debut, the people at America's Got Talent found him on Kill Tony, and he made it all the way to the finals. I present to you the great and powerful Aaron Belio. Here he comes, everyone.

Make some fucking noise from Toronto, Canada. His first time at the LA Aaron Balayal. Getting the set up going. One more time for Aaron Balayal, everybody. Before I started performing, I was the only mute person I knew. But now I've got all these fucking mute people coming to my shows. Every time they laugh, it sounds like mating season in the Arctic. I've been forced to demand all wheelchair ramps be removed from my shows. I don't need any more Walrus fucksounds from the darkness. If this keeps up, I'm going to bring in the Alaskan Seal Clubber Association for crowd control. These people are crazy Man, one mutechick's mom kept trying to get me two. Mate with her? She's all. My daughter is just like you. Feel her titdy. I have nothing against girls in wheelchairs, but we should at least wait for her to wake up before I touch her boobies. I'm not going to touch Lumpy or Bumpy. I ain't going to be the first retarded guy to get me twed. Not today, bitch. Boom. Aaron Belio, ladies and gentlemen. Coming out guns of blazing, attacking handicap people throughout his entire set. What a heel turn this is.

What a twist. That's a bigger twist than your wrist. Yeah, you sponsored by Nike with that swoosh? What's going on? Oh, Here it comes. He's tapping. I'm scared. Dr. Phil is the only doctor I don't need to see. World's weirdest fist bump just went down, everybody. I don't know if you saw it. Dr. Phil with a sideways high five and Aaron Belia with an upside-down hook shot. I thought Dr. Phil was Tim Dylan's husband. Well, might be by the end of the night. Aaron, how's things going? How are your travels? How's life? You look fucking fantastic from the neck up. I've been practicing impressions. Want to see some. Hell, yeah, dude. This is my impression of Joe Biden doing a speech. I tried figuring out how to do a Donald Trump impression, but even I'm not that retarded. I've been practicing my impression of you, and I think I've perfected it. Oh, no. Here we go. You son of a bitch. Dr. Phil, sit the fuck down. Sounded just like you, Tony. Bunch of You son of a bitch. Why would you say that about me? I do not even sound like that. What else you got, Aaron?

What else you got up your phone sleeve? Yes, you do? I fucking love it. I talk with a phone. I need you to lead me into the next bit. Ask me about sex. I know you're hard thinking about it. Yes, absolutely. How's your sex life going, Aaron? People keep asking me how I have sex. Well, it used to be really hard with one arm and one short leg, but my life changed in a shopping mall when I saw Crocs with a three-inch platform lift. Sex is so much better, doggy style in my Crocs. I'll second that. It's true. He does fuck a lot of I'll call him Crocked Her Phil. I call it Crocky Style. Yeah. I call it Crocky Style. Call back. She's on all fours, and I hold her down and claw at her back. I don't think I ever want to see you do that again. Okay, I was wrong. That was funny. Second time's a charm. I went to a bar last week, and a girl wanted to take me home. Unfortunately, I had to say, Sorry, baby, I didn't pack my fuck crocs. I also have camel ones, so they can't see me coming.

Oh. I love it. Are you wearing them around LA? Have you been... You go to the beach at all? Are you going to go for a... Go swimming in circles or something like that? You son of a bitch. I flew him last night. Yeah, it looks like you got one wing down. You son of a bitch. Tony only has sex with women in wheelchairs because it's easy to push their unconscious bodies out of his apartment. Too soon. What the fuck? Too soon. Aaron just starting rumors. I don't know where. Thank you, Aaron. I'm going to be the first retarded guy to get me tuned now. This is great. I love it. Oh, you like that one, huh? Look at you just having the time of your life over there. Look who's just thriving, everybody. Look at this guy. I love it. What else is going on? Anything else? Yeah, he's killing. He's doing it. Aaron Belial, Toronto, Canada. You're a US citizen now. You didn't mention that. Yeah. Can anybody guess which son of a bitch signed his papers for him? You ungrateful fucking crooked bastard. Hey, Tim. It's so great to see you. Thank you so much for signing my visa.

It looks like you lost some weight. The visa is not free. Oh, shit. I think he's going to suck your dick. Yeah. Dr. Phil is going to referee the dick-sucking, it appears. I don't know what to say. Aaron, anything else?I'm going to be at Skyline in Appleton at the end of May, and then my Ohio run got rescheduled to June, so I'll be in Columbus and Cincinnati and more. I'm still adding dates, and I'll be everywhere, so follow me on socials and check out mutecomedian. Com. I have merch. If you get confused about which handicap guy is me, I'm the one who doesn't talk like he's masturbating with the hand in his pocket. Jesus. You have more plugs than your Bluetooth. All right. Longest interviewer ever for a guy that can't talk. Here he is. What else, Aaron? Hi. If you get confused about which handicap guy is me, I'm the one who doesn't talk like he's masturbating with the hand in his pocket. All right. Just one more insult to other handicapped people on his way out. Aaron Belio, ladies and gentlemen. Golden ticket winner. Raining, defending, always on fire. And we keep it moving along to the next bucket pool.

Another bucket pool. We got to keep the bucket pool girls flying up here a little bit faster. This This is our third bucket pool of the night, ladies and gentlemen. We're going to give another person a shot here. Oh, my goodness. What a life we live. I swear to God, if these girls were in a wheelchair and unconscious, the things I would do to them. All right, from Section 114, row 12, seat 5. Make some noise for John Luna, everybody. John Luna. We're We're going to meet them all together now. Okay. There he is. John Luna, everybody. What up? Holy shit. What the fuck? Okay. Thank you. I'm a big guy. I've always been a big guy. When I was four months old, I was 28 pounds. My mom should be in jail, dude. That's horrible. I think she was breastfeeding me or chata. I feel like that's the only way that could have happened. I'm Mexican, but I grew up around a lot of white people. I'm Mexican like the song Feliz Navidad. From afar, it seems very Latino. Then you get close and you're like, This is all in English, actually. It seems like they should have studied more in school.

It seems like the only two Spanish words they know are Feliz Navidad. I do want to be more Mexican, though. I want to lean into it. I want to be like a Cholo. I want to get a teardrop tattoo, but I got the one that's not filled in. If you don't know, that means you tried to kill someone and you failed, which will be fine as long as no one finds out it was myself. Is that good? All right, John Luna. I would venture to say best bucket pool of the night so far. How long have you been doing stand-up, John? Sorry. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Like four and a half years. Four and a half years? Yeah. I was on when it was in the main room in 2019. Okay. All right. Welcome back, John. Too excited. Absolutely. Do you always fake fall on your way up to the stage? No, I thought it'd be fun here. I've done it before. Okay. One time I broke a window. Wow. When you lift your arm up like that, your stomach ass hangs out. That's a bubble. Oh, shit. And you're... Okay, I didn't know I was going to bleed.

I'm sorry. Yeah, you're bleeding. I'm going to take you shopping after the show. Yeah. I would love that. For real. Absolutely. For sure. I want a straw in your elbow. I want to snort cocaine off your Red Band noticing something that only you can notice from his seat. But you do have unbelievably flaky elbows. What is that? It's psoriasis, skin disease. Who's got psoriasis? Who's got severe plaque psoriasis? Where am I, psoriasis? Wow, look at that. Give it up for Skyrizy. Okay. When you move fast, it's like LeBron before he starts a basketball game. It's baby powder. Just get a long sleeve shirt. Okay. It's a warm day. Oh, yeah. Okay. If it's a certain temperature, you just go around grossing out everybody. You need longer sleeves and a longer shirt, and you need to tuck it in, and you need... There's so much you need. It's unbelievable. We should almost give you... I wish we had... We should have had a makeover your thing ready for this show. This is absolutely incredible. What's your love life like looking like that? Okay. Open up. Open up. Take your time. Tell us. I know. It's all right.

I don't know. It's hard to bring girls back because I live with my mom, so it's hard. Yeah, and you got bloody fucking elbows all the time. Yeah. My mom's a single mom, and I'm an only child I got on her side, so her house looks like a sports memorabilia store dedicated to me and Jesus Christ. That's the vibe. John, let me ask you this. How old are you? Twenty-seven. Twenty-seven. What do you do for work? I don't have a job right now. I got fired. Where did you get fired from? I was… Dave and Busters? I was doing podcast producing and editing for a streaming service I wouldn't like to name at this moment. No. Okay. Why did you get fired? I was like... So I was on a... Is there blood dripping out of your elbow? Is it dripping on the floor? Yeah. Yeah, you got to go. I'm sorry. Goodbye, John. There he goes, everybody. There goes John Luna, No, it's over. You're not dripping blood on the floor. That's fucking absolutely disgusting. You did great, though. The lesson is don't fake fall anymore, everyone. There you go. It's John Luna. Here's a little joke bug.

Sorry, I'm sorry to make an awkward ending, but that's fucking disgusting. Tony, that was the little boy on the back of the milk carton who was missing, growing all up. So much fun we're having here. Oh, my God. Wait a second. Wait a second. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen, make some goddamn noise for my big brother, Ari Shafir. Here at the Keia Forum. This crowd is on their feet. Ari motherfucking Shafeer, LA legend, New York legend, Comedy Store legend, Kill Tony legend. How lucky are we that there is no basketball game going on right now in May. What a fucking ordeal we have here. This is very Southern California. We got a fucking TV doctor, an Inglewood crackhead, and a fat faggot. Dr. Phil, they told me you needed your phone. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You can have it. What is it? What the fuck? It's so warm. Oh, my mom called. I felt that. I did feel her call. This is a long way from the belly room, buddy. Thank you, Ari. I just have one thing to say. He has risen. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Unbelievable. He's helicoptering his dick.

It's the saddest helicopter involving Kobe Bryant I've ever heard of. You definitely can't see that on Netflix. For those of you watching the blurred version on YouTube four weeks later, congrats on saving $35. It's actually a good technique because no one would want to block you. Yeah, you had no problem getting through security. I'm just talking about hitting the glass, man. Just punching the hole, man. Getting in there. One more time for the great Ari Shafir, ladies and gentlemen. Dr. Phil, wiping down his phone. How Ari was able to keep that in his little ass is unbelievable. There's like a guy with his son in the front row just watching. Loving it. They love it. It's great. Welcome to Los Angeles, ladies and gentlemen. This crowd went wild. Proof that Kill Tony fans have the most diabolical sense of humor on planet Earth. Got to see his matzo balls and the sauerkraut. You're finally tackling your spring home improvement projects. Hello, 2024 Dreamgarden. Until you realize your short three bags of mulch. And why didn't you get that pair of gloves you were looking at? Luckily, through Instacart, you don't have to stop my project to run to the Home Depot.

You can get your missing gardening supplies, tools, and more delivered in as fast as 30 minutes. Have more time for your project and get the Home Depot delivered via Instacart. Visit instacart. Com to get free delivery on your first three orders. Offer valid for a limited time. Minimum order, $10. Additional terms apply. Hey, guys, what you're listening to currently, this is a commercial promoting the Pete and Sebastian show. This podcast chronicles the life of Pete Correale, comedian, writer, actor, and myself, Sebastian Manescalco. What are your credentials? Fucking De Nero movies. My credentials are this cast. It's a show like no other. Yes, we do have an amazing banter together, but we just implemented right now. We implemented guests such as- Yeah, we had freaking Jay Leno, Bill Bur, the great Andy Garcia, Jake Johnson. I mean, Come on. The list goes on. The list is going to continue going on. This is cutting-edge comedy coming direct to you in your headphones. We will see you there. Thanks for listening to the Pete and Sebastian show. We got momentum right now. We're cooking with fire, so I'd like to bring up one of the most prolific regulars in the show's history.

Ladies and gentlemen, you know them, you love them. The icon. Make some for Kam Patterson. Yeah, that was that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What's up? I got some big news, though. I'm having a kid. What's our tear for? We're going to kill that nigga, though. Fuck that baby, bitch. He dying. We're murdering that nigga, man. Okay, wait, wait. I shouldn't say murder. Murder is a bad word. We're going to obliterate that nigga, though. Fuck that baby, man. I'm going to tell you some real shit. All my homeboy has been telling me, Cam, you can't kill a baby. You live in Texas, but I'm a criminal, so it don't matter. I've been a criminal for a long time now. Fuck that baby. The worst thing I think about, though, is that she waiting too long to have the abortion, so the baby is sitting in her stomach and they come in like one. I feel like the baby talking to her like, Hey, please. Please, Mom, don't kill me. I might be like a loyal doctor or something. When she's going to sleep, I whisper on her ear like, Don't listen to that nigga. He's a liar just like his father.

I can tell you something, Tony, I'm never going to have this problem again because I found this new invention they call condoms. Cam Patterson, a minute 30. Two minutes and 10 seconds on set. If you count the applause break at the top of the set. These people love you, Cam Patterson. I love you all, man. It's a shame none of them will ever get to meet your baby. Fuck that nigga, he dead. Is this true? You got a You were pregnant and you had the abortion? Yeah, it's over now. It's over. What was that? That was crazy. Don't do that. That's fucked up. What was that process like for you? It was a grueling. It was long. I didn't really do shit. I just talked to her. She wanted to kill it, too, so it was cool. You know what I'm saying? Hell, yeah. Did you pay for it? Yeah, I paid for it. Did you use a coupon or just cash? I wish I could have got one, bitch. I'll tell you that, man. I'll tell you that much right here. Come on out. Yeah, we'll keep her right here. Now, where did you get the abortion act?

I went back home, man. You went back home to Florida. You see the family and shit? Yeah. So the baby obviously conceived in Texas. You got her pregnant in Texas? Legally, no. Legally, I got her pregnant in Florida. So you got her pregnant in Florida, flew her to Texas, and then flew back to Florida. Yes. Well. Touchdown, brother. That is correct. Oh, my God. This is incredible. Do you know how long the baby was in the womb for? I don't want to know. I don't ask no questions like that. A lot of people look upset at me right now. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Absolutely incredible. Do you if it was a boy or a girl? I don't make girls. I'm like China, nigga. Wait, you're like China? China don't have girls, right? Oh, they have-They don't fight, right? In You're not wrong. Yeah, they got girls, Cam. That's how they make it. No, I mean, no, I mean like they don't want to... Right? Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you, random white man in the front row. Kill yourself. Who was that old nigga that was up here earlier. The old white man that didn't talk real well.

Rfk. That's the great RFK Jr. He's like our MLK Jr. No, he's not. No, the fuck he's not. Red Band, what the fuck, man? Jesus. This show is out of control. We'll be right back. Now, Dr. Phil, we're here talking about abortion. What are your thoughts, Dr. Phil? Well, I support a black man's right to choose. But those questions were getting pretty sad, Tony. You were like, What was your fetus's favorite color and shit? I don't know. It was getting real depressing. But I don't know, you'll find the right time to be a dad. Did you have a name picked out? How about that? Hell no, Dead Baby. Dead Baby, okay. Stop doing that, man. Dee Dee. So he could be a rapper. All right, I like that one. It's a toilet. I got my hands on the soundboard, everybody. Oh, shit. Too much fun. Can I ask a question? Yeah, absolutely. Is there like a... Did you look up positions that are best to... If you did want... People say on top, get you maybe a boy, but reverse cowgirl, get you something else. Did you look up positions? I don't know what I'm trying to fucking ask right now, Ken, but...

What the fuck are we talking about? What's your favorite position to feel? I like the fucking bitch from the back until it touch her toes. Okay. All right? My hands and my knees. They touch their toes. Yeah, so you know what I'm saying? You know I talk about Post, right? Yeah. Come on, man. Hell, yeah. Post has had so many abortions. They have a banner for him at the forum hanging from the top. There it is. We lowered the banner. You can't see, but we lowered a banner for you. Unbelievable. Kam, what else is going on? You're in Los Angeles, you're thriving, sold out shows everywhere you go. Hell, yeah. I mean, just trying to keep working, you know what I'm saying? Staying, you know what I'm saying? Just keep going, you feel me? Yeah. Nothing too much. What you said, bitch? Oh, someone's going to be touching their toes later. What did they say? What did you say, bitch? What did you say? Speak up, bitch. Speak up, bitch. Me and Dada Fia got a question, fuck, Yeah. Yeah, me too. Kam, anything else? Anything else crazy going on? That's it, man. I love it.

Well, you came out, you fucking smashed again. Everybody loves you. Congratulations. So much fun. Another powerful set by the great Kam Patterson. Back to the bucket we go. Our fourth bucket pool of the night. It's been a wild night for the bucket. Two first-timers and one guy bleeding profusely out of his elbows. Make some noise for Valar Yvonne, ladies and gentlemen. And your next bucket pool representing Section F, row 17, seat one. It is Andrew Avia, ladies and gentlemen. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Andrew Avia. Make Give me some noise, everyone. These people wait all day for this. How's everyone doing tonight? Hey, so it's a good thing I'm not sitting around a bunch of black people because it's probably going to offend some people, right? So I don't think George Floyd died from that knee on his neck, right? And let me tell you why. Derek Chauvin was all about what? 135, 5ix9ine? Anyone ever had a fucking torta sit on their face? Yeah, I'm talking about pretty Mexican chicks waiting from 180 to 250, just straight fucking crushing your fucking face, homie. That's fucking right. Hey, I'm just saying, Princess needs to lay off the hot Cheetos, have me looking like Java the Hub, fucking strangling for fucking era.

Hey, it doesn't matter if she's on her period, has some old fucking nut in her pussy. I'll be licking that asshole, too, making a fucking Neapolitan shape, dude. Let's fucking go, dude. That's fucking right. Hey, am I in a green? Come on now. Where's the tort? Where's the tort? All right, guys. Thank you. Holy shit. This bucket is fucked up tonight. Andrew Avia. I didn't know they made Mexican Eric Cartman's. Good Lord Almighty. How long have you been doing stand-up?Since December.Talking to the microphone.Since December. Sorry about that.Since December. Okay, and you perform a lot? I try to do at least once, twice a month. Once or twice a month? Yeah. Wow, your work ethic sucks. Do you wait for a police shoot sitting and then write a joke? What was that? Did you start after George Floyd died? Yeah. That's what inspired you? Pretty much, yeah. Okay. Jesus. Andrew, what do you do for work? I lay pipe, Tony. Okay. I'm a utility worker. I'm a utility worker. Okay. Yeah, I'm a utility worker. He does that. Post Malone has a good point. Andrew Avia has good eye contact. He looks right down the barrel like he's bragging about being a brain surgeon or something like that.

I am a utility worker. Sound familiar? Now, I like your shirt. It says Father of the Year, and then there's Darth Vader. Are you a Star Wars guy and a father? Both, yes. Which one is your favorite? Which one?Being a father.Being a father.Being a father. What about which Star Wars movie is your favorite? Anyone but the New Disney ones. Yeah, okay. All right. You have a character you identify with? Probably Jaba the Hut, like I said. Yeah. Why is that? I like sexy white women. You know what I mean? No, I I know what you mean, but okay. Well, I like your shirt. Thank you. Well, I don't know. I don't know if you're really a Jaba guy. Java the Hut was funny. He jar jar stinks. Whoa, Rippin. Red Band. Red Band. He's going to die. Okay, Red Band is really riding the wave of that joke that we're encouraging him. Okay. What's the most interesting thing about you before we let you go, Andrew? I I love eating ass and sucking toes. Okay. All right. Do you get to eat a lot of ass? You have a wife, a baby mama. What's the story?

Whose ass are you eating? You ate ass with your minute tonight. Tell us, Andrew, What's your first ass are you eating? Any hoes on Tinder or Bumble. All right. I got a phone that was inside Ari Shafir's ass if you want to clean it up. All right, let me know. Send me an email. All right. Andrew. Unbelievable tiny jokebook for you. That's for you. Andrew Avia, ladies and gentlemen. Very, very uninteresting interviews on these bucket pulls so far tonight. Oh, yeah. I think we should rebuild momentum. We have another Our golden ticket winner here, everybody. Another man from Toronto, Canada that we have not seen in a long time. He's very, very excited to be here. You know him, you love him. This is the long-awaited return of Jared Nathan. Bam, bam. What's up? I took a sign language course, and the instructor told me that I needed an interpreter because he couldn't read my lips. When I whisper, I do not stutter. It's like I'm doing ASMR. I'm making Red Band Horny. Exactly a minute. Right on the dot. Jared Nathan, how do you feel? I feel fucking It's amazing, Tony. Fucking amazing. Thank you.Thank you.It's amazing.Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Yes. I'm here. I'm back. Yes. You also don't stutter when you yell. It's incredible. If you whisper or yell, you speak perfectly fine. But if you talk in a normal tone, it's bad. To the fucking bone. Wow. This is absolutely incredible. It's been a long time since we've seen you, Jared. Tell us what you've been up to. I've been chilling. I've been living. I discovered something, Tony. Okay. I have something called... Hold on a second. Disability privilege. Okay. Especially at the airport. Okay. What happens at the airport? I go through security fast on a pilot. Wow. And they hand me a free bottle of water? A free bottle of water? Yes. I'm like, You able-body retards. They have to pay eight bucks. Dr. Phil, what do you think about this superstar? Well, he's right. Water is overpriced. I think maybe Augustina was behind 9/11. Sorry. Did the Too soon? Did the people on the livestream get captions? Who does that? 9/11 jokes. Don't hit as hard with the delay, Jared. But, man, you're fucking funny, player. We won't be right back. Where do I get one of those disability privileged T-shirts?

You selling them at like a... Everybody, go to my website.Jerid Nathan Comedy.Yeah, baby.. Com. Hell, yeah. It should be up right now. If it's not, it'll be up very, very soon. Hell, yeah. Jared, you're famous from Kill Tony. Do you get recognized a lot? Does it help? No? All the time. All right. I love it. Okay, good. I got recognized. Have you been getting lucky with the ladies at all? Yeah. Do you get any Poony? Yes. Cool. I said, I'll do it again. I said, I said, did you get any poony? Wow.unbelievable. Just a little Canadian. Oh, shit. Oh, my goodness. This has to be one of the greatest moments of your life other than the time you met John Zina. Can't see me. I also want to tell people. Wait, what? I You want to tell people something. You want to tell people something? Yes. Okay. Can you please stop coming up to me and asking me if I like grilled cheese? I'm You all believe I'm Shane Gillis? I'm Jared Nathan. People think you're Shane Gillis? People ask me if I'm Shane Gillis's uncle all the time. All the fucking time. I get that.

Post Malone, this is your first time seeing the great Jared Nathan. What are your thoughts over here? You fucking rock, dude. That's the fucking movie. I am taking you in a shocking channel right now. Okay, I don't know. What? You had a little bit about red earlier, I think that could still work out. I think that's a beautiful couple. I think that's something that could actually happen. Would you ever fuck Red Band, Jared? What if I tuck my dick in between my legs and just let you lick the pubes? Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Red Band. It's a joke. Red Band will be accepting his Mark Twain Comedy Award next year in DC. I went over my head, I think. Jared, anything else before we keep him moving here? I want a cameo also. Oh, that's good. Checking on a cameo. Wow. I will call you a fucking retard. Everybody loves me calling them fucking retard and cameos. I don't know why. You mind making a quick one for my wife Robin? Just call her that real quick. Robin. I want to see you later and I'll fuck the shit out of you. Okay, that's not what I meant.

That's not what I meant. Yeah. I mean, I'm still... I mean, I'm still going to send that to her, but I wish you could hear Jared. He goes, I don't fucking know.Let's go.Let's go. Also, you're way handsomer than Shane Gillis. Tell him I said that. I didn't hear the word he fucking said. Can you say it again? You're handsomer than Shane Gillis. You're more handsome than Shane Gillis, Post said. Thank you. What's the cup of that? Tell him I said that specifically. Thank you, Post. I loved you on that cooking show with Theo Vaughn recently. That was... That's not original, Red Ben. I heard that many times. Everybody thinks also with my fucking OT, that I have a fucking cooking show, too. Let me try to break that down. I think you said his fucking teeth have a cooking show, too. Is that what you said? Everybody thinks. Everybody thinks that I have a goatee. That you have a goatee. That I have a cooking show? That you have a cookie show.On YouTube.On YouTube. Do you have a cookie show? What the... Wait, I don't even know what he just fucking It's good. What's that?

Something about a cookie show. Everybody has a cook... Everybody was... A lot of people with Down syndrome have a cooking show. They all have goatees. Oh, cool. Got you. I got to simplify for your able-body return. There you go. Absolutely. Well, Jared, you fucking killed in front of the sold-out LA Foreman tonight. We got another bucket full. You guys still having fun out there? How many of you like it when comedians do good on this show? How many of you like it when comedians do bad on this show? Wow. We got to do another deal. They go quick. All right, your next bucketful. Make some noise for Sophie Forcioli, ladies and gentlemen. Our first female bucketful of the night. How exciting. Sophie Forcioli Siole. This is not Sophie. One more time for Sophie for Siole, everybody. Come on. My husband's a nurse. Married a nurse. I'm also a nurse, and I married him because I believe in equality in relationships, okay? That and I couldn't pull a doctor, all right? I just Looks wise. I know what category of women I fall into. Nurse is where we landed the plane, okay? It's good. Happy to be off the streets, though.

Married. When I was single, I made out with this guy, and he was like, Hey, I don't have a condom. But I got a grocery bag. I was like, Are you trying to fuck me with a grocery bag right now, dude? What store? I think of myself as more of a Whole Foods woman. He was like, It's food for less. I was like, Get the fuck out of here. Have I no self-respect? I got to make a poor decision, then end up at the doctor and be like, Yo, I don't know, you got some crazy bacteria in there. I'm like, Yes, Avon's produce section, bitch. I don't know. Bad decisions. All right, guys. I'm Sophie. Thank you. Sophie Forcioli, ladies and gentlemen. Are you sure the grocery bag wasn't to put over your face. This is Kill Tony. Sophie, welcome to the show. How long you been doing stand-up? Three years. I But where at? All in LA? All in LA, but I'm from the Midwest, so I try to do Chicago and Milwaukee a lot. What part of the Midwest are you from? From Rockford. Rockford, Illinois. Okay, Rockford, Illinois. Obviously, they hate Rockford.

I don't know. These people boo Same thing that is in fucking Bakersfield, obviously. It's a real fucking trash audience we have here. There's more Dodgers hats here than at an actual Dodgers game. This is incredibly sad. Confused Mexicans like, God damn it, I did wear a Dodgers hat. Dr. Phil. I'm a big grocery store joke guy. You met your Has he been where? He's a nurse. I met him at work. I'm a nurse, too. Did he have a fun medical pickup line? That's always fun. I actually pursued him. I changed it up for women. I went after him. So just say, You make my heart skip a beat, or I'd love to-I asked him to a Lakers game. I don't know. You took him to a Lakers game. I don't know. He took him to a Lakers game. Yeah. Wow. All right. Yeah, nosebleeds. Did you see Ari Shafir there? Yeah, Dr. Phil, I'm pretty sure your phone went to Whole Foods earlier. I'll still use it. Fuck it. Well, that's exciting. You guys have been together how long? Seven years now. What's your best quality that he really got attracted to? Because that's always a difficult thing.

When you meet at work, you got to hang outside of the work to really see what each other's interests are, what you smell like, what you feel like, right? What's my best quality or his? What's your best quality? My best quality? I just try to have a good time wherever I go. Okay. Just try to bring the good energy. Let's talk about it, Sophie. Very good. Sophie, you went to a Lakers game, and then what happened? Did you guys hook up on night one? No. It was a Lakers game, and then a week later, it was LACMA.Locma. And then it went down after two weeks. After two weeks? Yes. And when it went down, was that at your place or his place? It was at my place. It was my place in Venice.Okay. Did you make the first move? I did. It was me. Wow. I think we got to switch it up on the men. I think women got to get after it, too. Oh, yeah. Look at all these sluts out here today. Absolutely incredible. You got to love it. Got to love the Kill Tony fan base. Absolutely incredible. Sophie, what's the most crazy thing about your life that we'd find interesting about you?

I recently found out I was related to Napoleon, like Bonaparte. I can see it. The height, I know. Napoleon. That's weird because you look like one of the kids from Stranger Things. I heard he's been looked like it, too. For sure. What are you and Napoleon have in common? I guess he won like 80% of his battles. I feel like that's what I'm averaging in my marriage, arguments-wise. Wow, this crowd loves booing shit. They're loving me. These guys turn on a nice person very quickly. I love it, Sophie. Very interesting. Crazier thing in your refrigerator right now? Good question, Tony. Thank you, Dr. Phil. Sorry, you said what? Crazier thing in your refrigerator right now? You can say dildo. Don't help her, Dr. Phil. Don't say fucking Erwan bag full of com. No, I feel like rotten eggs is probably the worst thing in my fridge right now. Say Rotten eggs? Rotten eggs. They're expired eggs. They got thrown out. Wow. This audience hates Rotten eggs, ladies and gentlemen. They hate eggs. I don't know. I got nothing crazy in my fridge but eggs. I can't win. Okay. Sophie, do you have any special moves in the bedroom?

I keep trying to play with my husband's asshole, but he... Whoa, look at that. He won't let me do it. I hear this is all the craze. What exactly do you want to do to your husband's asshole? Tell us. When he lets me? Or what? What do you want to do to your husband's asshole? I don't know. I just maybe caress around the area, get a finger in. I don't No way. There's Red Band's one fart sound effect of the show, everybody. Just do it. Don't let him have it. Just go in there. Go for it. All right. Yeah, hesitation meets preparation. Yeah. You got to just... There's no real game plan. You just got to distract him and be like, Hey, there's the lead from Grey's Anatomy. And he'll go, Huh? And then just put your fist right up inside. I'm going to do that. Tonight. I'll do it tonight after this. From Grey's Anatomy to Brown's Anatomy. Go for it. Sophie Forcioli. What do you guys think? Big jokebook or little jokebook? Big? Big one. Little? Big? Sophie Forcioli. There you go. There she goes, everybody. Sophie Forcioli. All right, we're going to keep it moving.

Your next comedian, if you guys How many of you watch every single week? Well, then you will know that your next comedian won this spot that he gets right now on a random Austin episode because he is originally from Los Angeles, California. Make some noise for J. P. Hinsdale, everyone. J. P. Hinsdale, everybody. Los Angeles' own. Wait. It is amazing to be home. Fuck, yeah. I remember when I grew up here, I was always afraid of things as a kid. I noticed as I got older, my fears have changed. My new fear is microplastics. You know about this? Apparently, there's microscopic plastic in everything that we eat drink. We all consume about a credit card's worth of plastic a week. I consume about three because I have bad credit. But there is so much plastic inside of us that's actually mutating our DNA. This is true. There's babies being born today with smaller testicles. Yeah. You want to hear something more fucked up? There's just guys going around measuring baby testicles and nobody's doing anything about it. I guess it's cool that the Catholic Church believes in science, but... An absolutely perfect set. Absolutely fantastic.

J. P. Hinsdale making a little homecoming. How does it feel to have a set like that at the LA Forum? I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience, so I might have had that heart attack we talked about. Yeah. Well, there's a lot coming out of your body right now. Yeah, it's amazing what's staying in. You look like a jelly roll action figure. Yeah. An inaction figure more like. Absolutely. I like your style, JP. Did you invite any family members or anyone? I invited my friend Ragu. Me and my family are not exactly tight. What happened? Wait, did you just say you invited your friend Ragu? Yeah. Is it a jar of pasta sauce? Sometimes. Wow. Cam had a friend that was Prago for a second. I love it. So, JP, remind us all, what do you do for work? This. How long you've been doing stand-up comedy for? About four years. Okay. How's it going? Honestly? Amazing. Yeah. I get... Even my life six months from now, this seems very unreal. Great. I love it. Tell us how your life has changed. Well, I got to... I booked all these shows. I got to be on Moon Tower.

That was amazing. I got to meet basically everybody I've ever looked up to in life. Yeah. Did they book you because they thought you were the moon? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they were disappointed. Jp, I absolutely love it. What the hell else is going on? Are you doing anything special while you're in LA? Yeah, I'm staying in Ventura because that was the last place I live. Yeah, I fucking love Ventura. I fucking knew this crowd was going to pop for Ventura. Hey, yeah, that's us. Hey, we fucking love Ventura. I also went back to the source. I went to the Bob's Big Boi I was conceived in. Oh, my God. Is that a true story? Yeah. I bought a hat and everything. I needed some luck. Where did your parents do it? Unfortunately, the booth that they did it in was occupied by a family. Oh, God. Me and Ragu just ate lunch and stared at them weird, and they didn't really understand why. Or it's just a really weird orgy. Yeah. You and Ragu just stared at them? Well, because I was explaining why that booth It was important, and I was like, Man, I wanted to see which stains were my almost brothers and sisters.

Sure. A little family reunion. Okay. That's a beautiful story. Thank you. It's very nice. I have family there. Yeah, it's like olive garden, but it's my own olive garden. So your father came inside of your mother's vagina at a booth in a Bob's Big Boi? Yeah. Did they ever explain to you what positions they were in or how this was accomplished? No, I just remember my mom took me there drunk once, and she's like, We made you in that booth. Wow. Wow. Do you drink with your family? Not anymore. I'm sober. What happened? What'd you do, JP? Who'd you hurt, or did you hurt yourself? Mostly myself. You fall or emotionally? Doctor was like, Man, you need to quit drinking. My liver's pretty messed up. What was the worst thing you did while you were drinking? Hit me with some sad music, Red Band. Here we go. The saddest thing.Perfect. Super sad. Such sad music, Red Band. I was pretty drunk the night I OD'd. Oh, shit. Do you remember ODing? I remember the beginning. What did you OD on? I thought it was Coke. Yeah. You know what that sound means? What? You're relapsing tonight.

Congratulations. Should I go towards the light? From our good friends over at Porosos and our friends from Ventura wearing Dodgers hats, this guy right here with the backwards hat is going to get a bag of cocaine for you right now. Here he is. Well, it's not going to get any better for me, so let's go. That's right. That's right. Okay. Jp, a very fun set. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Tom Segura if he let himself go all the way? Yes, that man sitting to your left. That is true. You want to hit that button? Wait, could you choose? Shoot a basketball shot. Red man wants you to do because he's a fucking retarded retard. There you go. There you go. Pointless for the bit. That's the sound of Tom Sagura breaking his arm, everybody. One more time. It's Tom Segura breaking his arm. Nothing gay. All right. Jp, congratulations. You fulfilled the prophecy. You went back to the Bob's Big Boi. Dr. Phil, you got something for JP? Yeah, it was great to see you. You came hard in the pain. You delivered, you were prepared, and you're dressed like a bouncer at a glory Hole, and I respect that.

Well, you dress for the job you want. J. P. Hinsdale, everybody. We're going back to the bucket we go. There goes J. P, everybody. Thank you, J. P. Back to the bucket. Your next bucket pull. 60 seconds uninterrupted. Going to Wendy Cresley, everybody. Wendy Cresley representing Section 233, row 7, seat 10. Oh, my God. Valerie Vaughn. Absolutely fucking unbelievable. What a show. You guys having fun out there? Wendy Cresley, 60 seconds starting now. Oh, my God. There's some beautiful people out there. You all are great. I haven't always been in rooms full of beautiful people. As a matter In fact, I got back down too long ago from a federally-funded vacation, AKA federal prison, Club Fed. It's one of those things like in 30 months. So I did 24 months in and then six months on house arrest, which I've never been so grateful to be such white trash in my life, because when you live in an RV or a trailer park, house arrest is a totally different thing. When your house has wheels, it's not exactly the same punishment, is it? I always wished for a lot of things when I was a kid, but be careful what you wish for, because I prayed and prayed when I was a little girl for bunk beds.

It took until I was 37, but I got bunk beds. I was in a federal prison full of women, the biggest federal prison in the country. Guys, shut the fuck up. Wendy Cresley. So, yes, the set, very rough, but windy. You gave it a shot. We all want to know, without a doubt, what did you go to federal prison for? A lot of fucking talk about prison. Everyone did-I wish I had more street cred, but I introduced two people that did a drug deal. That's not a crime. It is. It's conspiracy laws. It's the wonderful feds. Hold on a second. Explain to us exactly what happened here, because this sounds like a tremendous amount of I swear to God. Sure, but explain the deal. A friend of mine introduced me to somebody, and they asked me if I could get them drugs. I said, I don't know. I don't have anybody to get drugs from. I said, But I know a guy, and I introduced them for that purpose. What was the deal? What drug were they looking for?Crystal meth.Crystal meth? Yes. You've never done Crystal Meth? No, you've never done Crystal Meth? No, I've done a lot of cocaine, but not crystal meth.

Okay. People are booing, not doing crystal meth at this point. Post Malone is going to do crystal meth right now. He's got an itch he just can't scratch. Not anymore. I like you. You have a fun Caitlin Jenner vibe. Oh, thanks. Okay. Thank you. You do. What have you been doing with your life up until this? How long were you in prison for? Thirty months total. Thirty months and six months of house arrest? Yes. Okay. What did you do with your life before that, and what are you doing since then? Before that, I had my own business, a licensed electrician and home repair, remodel, handyman. Okay. You're a handyman. That makes sense. That's great. Since you're out of prison and everything, you're back at that, I'm guessing? No, I took a COVID because I was in Texas before, and the laws here are a different when getting certified or getting your... To become a licensed, anything. I just haven't done it. I took a COVID job, a pandemic job. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Not... It's my eighth or ninth time.Wow. Well, good for you. Cool.thank you, I guess. There you go.

It's not an easy crowd. Well, congratulations on getting pulled. We're going to keep it moving. Here's a little joke, but can you catch? Can you catch anything but a charge? I got you. I fucking knew it. There you go. There goes Windy Cresley, ladies and gentlemen. See you. Way to power through. Now, I asked how many of you listen every week, but I'm going to ask you this, how many of you have been listening for many years? How many of you used to go to shows when we were here in Los Angeles? Well, you guys might remember this young legend, Ladies and gentlemen, here to do a minute, make some noise for the former drummer of Kill Tony, the legend, Jules Jimenez. What the fuck is up, LA? Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Good to be here. I'm born and raised out here. I... Hell, yeah. Okay, shut the fuck up. Let me do my minute. I didn't have the dare program growing up. I did have a bunch of Cholos saying, Smoke this, I dare you. And I did all of it. And that's just a cool way to tell a stadium of people that I've done methamphetamines.

I recently found out that Shaquille O'Neill is a cop. I don't know if you guys know this. You can Google it. I'm not making it up. He's so tall. Could you imagine what Shaq's body cam footage looks like? It's just a beautiful shot of the LA skyline. Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah. The return of Joel Jimenez. Here in front of fucking tens of thousands of people. Welcome back, Joel. What's up, Tony? How are you? I love you, miss you. You're a fucking legend of the game. Last time you were on was the 10-year anniversary episode. I came to Austin after that, but it's fine. But you were on this show? Yeah, I was on the show. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever. Oh, my God. Are you okay? I think I'm having a seizure. I'm hearing Joel Bergs out there. People fucking know me out here. Joel Berg. This is my fucking city. No, I'm kidding. I love it. Joel, what else is going on? Not much. My door guy at the Comedy Store. I play in a hard core band called Matt Peaceful. I got a podcast called Lesser Known Characters with my buddy Shapel Lacy.

That's about it. You've been keeping up on the drums? Keeping up on the drums. I actually... Yeah. Wait a second. Tony, I actually wanted to ask you something. How many of you all think we should have a fucking Mexican drama? Fuck, yeah. Well, we've been down this road before. Michael, I think you should go first. Yeah, I got home court advantage. Home court advantage. Los Angeles' own Joel Jimenez You guys know how it works. They each get a fucking drum solo. If one of them, whoever wins is the full-time drummer of Kill Tony. If Michael Gonzales loses, he has to work the door at the Comedy store and be in a hardcore punk band. Michael, how do you feel? Let's fucking go. Oh, my God. The reigning, defending, Drummer of Kill, Tony. This is a drum solo from Michael Gonzales.

Oh, shit. Wow. Michael Gonsales. This place is on their fucking feet. Wow. A true Mexican drum off. Mexican versus Mexican. Both of them rocking Lakers jerseys. This is history in Los Angeles, California. And ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the man that was the drummer for the show for many years. He's toured all the world with Kill Tony. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the drum solo from Joel Jimenez.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen. Joel Berg's out of control. We've seen this before. Oh, we've seen this. Oh, my God. He's sucking his own dick. Oh, my God. He's fucking his own face. Oh, he's still drumming. Oh, my God. Where's he going? Oh, my God.No, no, no. Wait. Joel. Oh, my God. Where is he going? Oh, my God. He's climbing the railing. This is, ladies and gentlemen, we've never... Oh, he's stroking the dildo. He's stroking the purple dildo. But God, he put it in his mouth. He's on the rails. He put it in his mouth so that he can climb back down. This is unprecedented, unheard of in the history of the show, ladies and gentlemen. Why am I hard right now? Absolutely incredible. Oh, my God, he's still going. He's still going. Oh, my God. With a dildo in his mouth, he just broke Danz. Yes, that is the Netflix sound effect. Brought to you by Netflix, everybody. You cannot... Ari Schafer could never. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He has a bigger dildo in his actual underwear. I forgot he's working with the fucking hog, dude. Yo, if he jumped, that was going to be the weirdest suicide of all time.

I forgot how big his junk is. I also forgot how flat his ass is. That thing is fucking incredible. Mexican ass right there. Those cheeks clap like an applause break from Aaron Belial. I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't know what's... I think We all won tonight. How many of you have Michael González winning? How many of you have Joel Bird, Joel Jiménez winning? Oh, my God. Joel, what are we going to do? What is happening? I believe this means, Joel, I'm pretty sure you get to fucking drum with us anytime you want. Sounds good. How about we set up two fucking drum sets Sunday night at the sold-out YouTube Theater? You free Sunday? I can be.Let's fucking do it.Fuck, yeah. Thank you, LA. I love you. Peace out. It's on. It's on. Let's go. A completely unplanned moment. How about one more time for the return of Joel Bird, Joel Jimenez? Moment. Moment is behind us. The wind is beneath our wings. So now I bring to the stage... We having fucking fun still? Is it okay that the show's running a little long? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to do a brand new minute, Kill Tony Hall of Famer.

A man famous for his roasting. This is David Lucas. Yeah. I talk a lot of shit about gay men, but I feel like I can because... I feel like I can because I'm 10% gay. You know what I'm I'm not stick a dick in my booty, gay, but it's like, if you tell me you got a big ass dick, nigga, I want to see it. You know what I'm saying? It's like, Pour that motherfucker out. You got 13 inches, nigga, let me see. I don't even put it in my hand. You know what I'm saying? Heavy. I did that joke the other day, and Cam's daddy saw me do that joke, and He was like, Nigger, you're not 10% gay. You're 100% gay. I was like, Bitch, I didn't know you could count to 100. What the fuck? All right, that's my time, David Lucas. Thank you. Fuck, yes. David fucking Lucas. Unbelievable. Look at this shit. Look at these fucking people. They love you. Lucas. Yeah, there we go. I love it. That's crazy as hell. David, an amazing set. I guess since we found out tonight that you're I guess I have to get fat and black now.

We can reverse roast each other. That's crazy, Tony. You're looking amazing. What are you taking? Homozypic, bitch? Tony, with that vest on, you look like the only gay nigga in Wakanda, bitch. What the fuck? Tony got a dildo made out of vibranium, nigga. What fucking Black Panther-ass shit is that, nigga? What the fuck? Oh, my God. Why Tony got that bullshit on, nigga? The Black Panthers. More like the Fag Panther. You son of a bitch. Hell, yeah. You look fantastic. Two types of denim tonight, huh? Hell, yeah. You look like Filet Lena. That was me. You have a big top half of your body and short legs. You have a big booty hole with a little body. What are we talking about? You are on fire tonight, my friend. Tony, your booty hole looked like a sewer without the top. Somebody could fall in that, motherfucker. You You know what I'm saying? Post Malone is here. What's up, buddy? Yeah. Post Malone, nigga. You look like Kyle Rittenhouse's lawyer. Hey, bro, just say you shot them niggas, all right? Tim Dylan. Tim Dylan, you look like Adam Ray without the hat or with the hat.

Sorry, I'm fucking-Wait, what? Oh, go ahead, Dr. Phil. Yeah, well, it's nice. You look like the rapper Type 2 Short. You know what I'm saying? That's a diabetes joke. Oh, God, nigga. We did not need another white man playing Madea movies. You know what I'm saying? For sure. This nigga out here. For sure. I never thought I'd get roast by Shaq's Mom. I said Shaq's Mom, Shaquille O'Neill. You look like the woman who birthed him. I'll send you an email. Yeah, it's true. David looks like Shaquille Momeal. Shaquille Momeal. That's crazy as hell. My goodness. It's not even February. You dress up for Black History Month. Tony, what the fuck is going What's wrong with you, nigga? Did you drive a Cadillac with 22-inch rims to the fuck? For fucking Black History Month, Tony ate a Papa's biscuit with his asshole. I was there. It was hilarious. With no lube, nigga. With no lube. No. I ate that bitch. I did. I actually did that. It sounds like a roast joke, but I did that. Didn't leave a fucking crum. Give me a cigarette, nigga. I'm going to smoke it on the live. Light down.

Oh, shit. I ain't smoking a cigarette in like, crush. That's a crush. That's what you do to dinner. Crush what the insides of his shoes feel. Crush is what happens at 12:45 at your bedroom. I crushed that nigga, Tony. It's a good cigarette for you since you retain water like a camel. Hey, Tony, I got a question. Can you squirt, bitch? What the fuck? Squirt, that's your favorite soda. It is a good soda. It was great chips. This isn't the first time I've seen a furnace smoke before. I am getting roasted right now by a gay nigga, a fucking nigga that lives in the woods with no electricity. A fucking big ass homo. I love Tim Dylan, but nigga, you look like Baloney right now, bitch. That nigga look like a gay piece of Baloney, bitch. What the fuck going on? Fucking jack off with I don't know what this nigga got going on. Well, I'm just trying to do my best. But, David, I do got to say- Where did you all get this nigga from, bro? Fucking Adam Wright, snap out of it, bro. Well, I tried to come to your family barbecue, but you guys wouldn't let me in.

I complimented your pants. I said nice jeans. I guess you do got some skinny jeans. Fucking Dr. Phil good, nigger. Yeah, all right. I'll take that one. What's good? I love it. You look good, though. You look like you were attacked by a Wolverine. You do look good, though, Dave. Have you shared some LPs? You look like a principle from Saved by the Bell. Shut your motherfucking ass up. That's a great show. Saved by Hell with that ball hit. David. I haven't smoked a cigarette in five years, but I just felt like I need... Post Malone is here. Dirty ass, rich ass nigga. Those all sounded like compliments, David. I thought white people were smarter than that. How you all get this nigga, you all money? That shit is crazy. Post Malone out here looking like a straight nigga. Gold teeth, hands tatted. How many fucking domestic abuses do you have, Post Malone? Jesus Christ. You look like you wash your hair with fruit by the foots. Dr. Phil, you look like you wash your hair with a fucking blow torch, bitch. Get your motherfucking ass out of here, boy. Hey, you got a BBL on top of your head, bitch.

You You got one of the white bitches's booty who bringing a sign up here that be like, Pick number 6. You are. You're talking about with that little ass suit on there. You're supposed to be in a casket. All right. Well, you look like the trucker that they also may get on the truck scale. Hit me. Hit me, Mike. There it is. Hit it one time. David, what's it like for you to be roasting at the Sold Out LA Forum right now? Have a moment here. Tell these people what the fuck is This is amazing because a lot of people don't know this, man. I left my home in Maken, Georgia at the age of 19 to move to LA to chase this dream. You're from Maken or Bacon? Keep going. Where are you from, nigga? I'm from Tony from Fagdad. Not Fagdad, Fagdad. I didn't want to interrupt your heartfelt moment. Yeah, fuck you, nigga. You out here looking like a black preacher's church sock, bitch. Your ass. Fuck you, nigga. You look like Toast Malone. And you look like Host Malone, bitch. Wait, what? Because that booty hole hosts a lot of Hey, all I got is booty hole jokes against Tony.

Fuck that shit. Oh my God. Toast Malone, you look like the type of nigga that go to high school and sniff white out, nigga. You're the only dude in camo that the people in the back can see you completely fine. Yeah. It's over. It's over. Give it to him. Hey, Post Malone. Oh, no. Hold on. You're not going to try to keep this going, are you? You're going to do it. Hey, Pulse Malone. White Iverson was a love song to Tony. All right. White Iverson. You got a sleeve on, nigga. I have a son. I have a son is something your father has never said. David Lucas, Kill Tony Hall of Famer. That's why he's the best. That's why he's the best. That's right. He's here in Los Angeles this weekend with us. Make some fucking noise for one of only three Only three in the world, only two alive. Kill Tony Hall of Famer. I love you all. The legend, The Roast Massa. Yes. David Lucas. If I'm in your city, pull up, baby. David lucuscomedy. Com. Love you all. Thank you all so much. Make some noise for him. It's David Lucas, everybody.

Open a cigarette. There he goes. David, we love you. All right. Look at them. Hug it out. There they go. Look at this. This is the weirdest BLM rally I've ever been to in my life. We could have solved it all if we did this in June of 2020. Well, we're coming around the corner now. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we should fucking... I think it's about time that we turn the lights down and watch a little video, everybody. The saga continues right now. Here we fucking go. Here we Who got more laughs in that one minute? Who do you think? Who do I know? It's not who do I think. Yeah, who? Rick. Okay. It was close. It was very close, but I truly thought the muscles from Brussels brought the heat. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It all comes down to the audience. How many of you have Rick Dias winning this? This is that moment. How many of you have Hans Kim winning? When Hans beat Rick, the audience was very clear where somehow people on the internet still didn't quite believe what happened there. I think Shane and Matt, the customer, getting their votes in, swayed what was happening to the viewers' eyes.

What surprised me when When Rick and I first faced off is the internet reaction, the level of anger they had for me. When Shane and Matt said that Rick had a better set that night, it made me feel like I must have fucked up. As far as I'm concerned, it went amazing. I executed my plan as well as I could have. All things considered, given that a few months before I was doing open mics in Brussels and I was in an arena in Austin, I think I did pretty good. Did Rick Dias get perhaps more laughs that night? Sure. But when the audience was deciding these battles originally, that was the one way that we knew how to decide these things. It took a lot of courage for Rick Díaz to put his golden ticket on the line against Hans Kim's regular ship. Very ballsy move. But in my mind, Hans Kim has done this hundreds and hundreds of times. I've seen what he's capable I've seen it on the road. I work with Hans a lot, and I know him well, and raised him from a little Asian boy sleeping in the back of a van to a very well-off, very successful stand-up comedian who's touring constantly and selling out all over the country.

Well, you guys, I'm sorry that I underperformed at the arena. I'd like to challenge him comedically. And did he respond to you? I'm sure he did. Probably something snarky and mean. Oh, wow. Oh my God. What do you think about Hans rechallenging you at the forum? I find it interesting that a winner of a competition challenges a loser. Yeah. But you can admit that the crowd was louder for Hans. You were there. The crowd was louder for Hans. The audience being the only vote in that contest was very controversial. I think the next one, me, Red Band, and the two The judges or the two guests each get a vote, and the audience also gets to vote. It's on at the Forum. One minute or three. You guys decide right now. You guys want to do two? Let's set up two. I'm not going to give me in my role. Two minutes. La Forum, Nate's head, the rematch. Hans Kim versus Rick Dias. What's different this time going into it is that I'm more relaxed. Let's fuck this ever good enough. I'm not trying so hard to to please the audience. I'm just trying to show them what I've been working on.

I'm just humbled by the whole thing. I'm grateful to Tony Hinchcliff. I'm grateful to kill Tony, and I'm grateful to the fans. More complex, more intricate, more bullshit, two-dimensional. 1940s comedy that we progress past. Try being yourself, bitch. And we are at that moment right now. It's been a long time coming. Everybody's been preparing. You guys know how it works. It's best out of five. We have five votes, Red Band votes, I vote, Post Malone votes, Tim Dylan votes, and the audience votes with a decibel meter, an actual brand new decibel meter. It's going to pop up on the screen when the noise goes down or whatever. You guys The fitness is here. There it is. It's at 91, 95. Come on, you guys can make more fucking noise than that. Show it again. All right. It works. So, ladies and gentlemen, you guys know how it goes. It's a two-minute long set in an unheard of Kill Tony, a break of tradition. Both of them will get two-minute sets. Going first, of course, the man who controversially took a loss at the HEB Center doing a two-minute long set, this is the long-awaited return of Rick Dias.

I don't drink. I don't do any drugs. I'm unhappy. I'm 47 years old. My secret? Depression. Every evening, I moisturize with tears. Ladies, you get unsolicited dick pics. I get unsolicited medical advice and dick pics. I left my toothbrush at a girls place. It was my little way of telling her, to use one. I had a talk with my ex, and she told me, Rick, You're like a robot. You have no emotions. And I told her, I think that's a little bit unfair. It's not because you learn to receive emotions a specific way when you were growing up, that it means I have no emotions. It just means I express them differently. I think that's a pretty good answer. Thank you, ChatGPT. My uncle suffered from mental health issues. My uncle heard voices. One day he came to me and he was like, Rick, my voices are telling me I should kill myself. I was like, No, you're fine. That was just me in the bathtub. My buddy called me up the other day. He told me, Hey, Rick, you want to hang? I was like, How did you know? He was like, No, I mean, hang together.

I was like, The more the merrier. I talked to a priest. I told him, I really want to die, but I'm also really afraid to die. He was like, Don't worry, my son. When you die, you will be granted with the gift of eternal life. My ex did two suicide attempts in front of me. She was so competitive. Thank you very much. There it is all the way to 2:20. 2 minutes and 20 seconds from Rick Dias, ladies and gentlemen. Rick, how do you feel like that went? What are the vibes in here? It's a fucking... It is a tough crowd that you were getting some booze right from the get. You plowed through it. How do you feel? How do you feel, Rick? I feel amazing. Yeah. I feel amazing. What was your like for this? No, I mean, eight months ago, I never, ever in my wildest imagination dreamt that I could be at the LA Forum today. I fucking love your attitude. That I would be at the LA Forum today having to rematch your diversity hire. You're also an immigrant. You know that, right? I can't hear you. You're an immigrant?

Yes, sir. You would also be a diversity hire if I hired you. Yes. Okay. Rick, what was your preparation like for this? What was your process? Well, I've been writing a lot. I've been doing a lot of shows back home. Boom. Okay. Try to do a show, bitch. I don't know. Oh, there you go. There you go. Yeah. I can't believe I met RFK, dude. Tell us about it. I can't believe he had a dead worm in his brain. Yeah. Yeah. He probably died of starvation. Okay. Oh, yeah. Someone got vaccinated a bunch. I'm so happy to see Dr. Phil again. Yeah. Hey, Dr. Phil, I saw your impression of Adam Ray the other day. Yeah. It was almost there, dude. I love it. Yeah. Rick, you look like Harry Harry Potter's sponsor. Yeah. I look like Harry Potter, the extended edition. There you go. I look like Harry Potter failed at magic. Well, Rick. You did great. I don't know I'm not voting, but you came out swinging harder than you did in Austin. I feel like you fucking came out with your dick out tonight. All right. Well, we got to keep it moving.

I know. I love Los Angeles. Thank you for having me. We're going to bring you right back up in a little bit. I got a lot of material in store for you guys if you bring me back up. Okay. All right. There he goes. He's going to be right back. That was the set by Rick Diaz, ladies and gentlemen. Now, the return of one of the greatest regulars in the history of the show. This is hard skills. What's up? Hell, yeah. La. Holy shit. It's good to be here. Los Angeles. Thank you, ma'am. Stop booing. It hurts my feelings. Good to be here, guys. I'm a huge fan of gay people. I think gay people are the best because gay people... Gay people only have sex with other gay people. Take a less than black people. But I understand homophobia because being is the only minority group you can enter just by being drunk. You can't get too drunk and turn Indian. Your friends are going to be like, Dude, you were saying some real Indian shit to me last night. You kept telling me to restart my modem. I love how... Thank you. Yeah, that's...

Thank you so much. A lot of people nowadays are worried that immigrants are bringing drugs across the border. Who are these losers buying drugs off immigrants? Who's going up to an immigrant like, Hola, consuela. Tienes psilocybin mushrooms? Molly, por favor. I have way better than immigrants. My friend David Lucas recently got canceled for saying a joke about George Floyd, which I don't think makes any sense because David Lucas is a black life, and I think he matters. George Floyd is dead. It's true. There's a video of it. Technically, he doesn't matter anymore. Thank you, Keia Foro of LA. I love you guys. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Hans Kim, two solid minutes. How do you feel right now? I feel great. I got to watch Rick Dias bomb in an arena. Somehow I feel like the internet will still make this controversial. I don't think there's any way they can do that after that. God damn right, Hansi. But yeah, I mean, I'm obviously a person that I'm like a dick or whatever, so sorry about that. But yeah, I love you guys that like me, but I don't like the guys that have been on Reddit a lot.

Jesus Christ.Yeah, okay. I love it. I'm going to shut up. Let's just jump right into it. I don't know who should go first here. Tim Dylan? Rick, get back out here. Rick Dias returning. Come on, Rick. There you go. Here they are. It started with settlers of Catan, and now the saga is finished. Tim Dylan. I got to give it to Hans Kim. The floor joke at the end was amazing. Post Malone, who do you think had the better set tonight?Grab.Yeah. We'll give it to Hans. I love you, Rick. That was very good. I love you, Rick. Well, you know what? I'm just to make If something's interesting, I'm going to go with Rick Diaz, everybody. Just because I'm a showman. Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. Yeah, how about that? Okay, this guy's going to kill me for sure. Red Band?I'm going to give it to Janice.There you go. Okay, Red Band gets it.I'm going to give it to Hans. All right, well, that pretty much decides it. But since we have a decibel meter and things can get controversial on this show. Let's go for it. Make some noise. Let's see it on the board.

How many of you have Rick Dias winning? They love you. 103.4 was as loud as I saw it get. You did great. It was? All right. If you vote for one, you can't vote for the other. Does that make fucking So one last time, make some noise if it's Rick Dias that won. Okay. How many of you have Hans Kim winning? Yes. Yes. By a shocking 10 decibel point. In-house, ridiculously much louder. Rick Dias, I got to say... Thank you, band. Rick, I have to say you have unbelievable levels of showmanship and fucking courage. You have done a thing that no golden ticket winner in the history of the show has done. As as a sign of respect, as a gift from me, even though you put your golden ticket on the line through all of this, I'm going to let you retain your golden ticket for when you visit Austin, Texas. Rick, you can leave this stage. There goes Rick Dias. Hans Kim, I want you to stay up here because there's a little video that's going to roll that was going to play, whether you won or lost, tonight. I want you to watch it.

Step in front of the band. Let's all watch it together. Hans Kim, Live at the Forum. If you know the words, sing it. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Hans Kim. Here we go. Here's Hans Kim, everyone. A lot of people make fun of Asians because we like to eat dogs, which I understand is very because in America, dogs are treated like family members. But in Asia, we treat our family members like family members.Wow. Look at that. What a way to start the night, huh, Hans? You what with a lady? I had intercourse with her. Oh, my goodness. That sounds so missionary and slow and safe. Let's do this shit. Hans Kim, live on Kill Tony. Yeah. What's so proud We hailed at the twilies last gleaming. My Asian friends make fun of me because I like to eat General So's chicken. They're like, Hans, isn't General So just a shitty Americanized version of something authentically Asian? I'm like, Yeah, but so am I. Very exciting stuff. That was an absolutely incredible set. Would you be willing to be the a new regular here on Kill Tony? Yes, a thousand times. Here comes one right here.

Look at this. Hit it. Oh, wow. Look at this. Yeah. Oh, my God. He has a fucking Rolex and a hot white girlfriend. It's starting to fucking bother me. How often are you doing little bumps of cocaine? As often as my girlfriend makes me, yeah, she's a bad influence. Oh, boy. Now the plot thickens. I'm a good boy. Nobody believes you, by the way. Do you hear that silence? But something changed a week and a half ago when we decided to start having him challenge every single week for his regular ship spot. What we've learned is that it makes Hans Kim perform a lot stronger, a lot better, because he's fighting for his life. All All right, here we go. How many of you have Hans Kim retaining? How many of you think Hans Kim retains again? I had a feeling. It's not even close, folks. I'm not surprised, motherfuckers. Let's fuck this immigrant up. This is that moment. How many of you have Hans Kim winning? Let's get him. Ladies and gentlemen, the newest member of the Kill Tony Hall of Fame. Here to present him with his award, the greatest Asian comedian of all time, Comedy Store legend, the great Bobby Lee.

The newest member, the third living member, the fourth member ever, joining William Montgomery, David Lucas, and Michael Laher, Hans Hans Kim, the newest member of the Hall of Fame, and still Kill Tony regular, the great Yoni Leven presenting the artwork that everybody's gotten. Hans Chris Kim, what do you want to say? You're here in Los Angeles. I'd like to apologize to absolutely nobody. The non-touple champion apologizes to no one, but I am sorry a little bit. I could have been better at the H-B Arena. But I appreciate you guys so much. I don't deserve this. I love you guys. Thank you for supporting me. I love you guys so This is more than I could ever dream of. I love you guys. Thank you. You want to say something? Say something. One more time for the great Bobby Lee, everybody. It's good. One more time for Hans Kim, everyone. The place is in chaos. We're running in super duper over time, and you guys know how do we get... The only way we can fucking close a show like this? There's only one possible way. I present the record holder for all time appearances on the show, the record holder of all time interviews on the show, the The Topanga Tarantula, the Ventura vampire, the Los Alamedos Lesbianos, the Burbank Broiler, The Memphis Strangler.

The Vanilla Guerrilla. The Big Red Machine. This is William

Montgomery. Back in my day, we had G-Unit and Jihad. This is my impression of a top 40 DJ hosting a countdown. And clocking in at number 6, Mariah Carey with Butterfly, a new hit that's right already flooding the airwaves with that stink-ass pussy. If your dog comes out as trans, you might not be a red neck. In an effort to become more inclusive, the Boy Scouts are changing their name to Scouting America. This will allow girls to experience the same sexual abuse that the boys have. Also, the tents aren't going to clean themselves. Red Band is so fat on his cheat day, he weighs his options on how to kill himself. Okay, that's my time. One minute, three seconds from the man who's done it more than anyone ever. The undeniable Red Goat of Kill Tony history. William always brings it up a level for these big shows. What are you wearing tonight, William. Hold on, Tony. Hoody-hoo! Hoody-hoo. I don't give a fuck. We're in Inglewood, Tony. No, but yeah, I'm so excited. I actually was in a rave all last night. I haven't TTed in 24 fucking hours, so I literally can't. There's a zipper on the back.

I got to be so bad right now, but... That's why you're so hard right now. What was that, Red Band? I honestly didn't hear you. What was it?Go on, do it again.That's why you're so hard right now. I actually have really good compression shorts on right now, if anybody was wondering. What exactly is that outfit, William? Where do you get something like that?Literally, a Ravers outfit. I bought it about a week ago. I got to the hotel today. This literally was $3,000. It cost 3K to fucking get this thing. It doesn't really fit right. I look like a big fucking pussy up here. I fucking mess up on one of my jokes. I mean, this is the big time, Tony. And I'm messing up left and right. That fucking little boy won't even look at me. How old are you, dumbass? There is an actual little boy. I didn't notice that the entire... How old are you? Show me with your fingers. Thirteen. You've seen? Holy shit. Hell, yeah. That's unbelievable. Who's that guy with you? He had sex with you or your dad? Motherfucker and daughter pounder. That is the weirdest... What is that?

We have the craziest fans on planet Earth. William Montgomery, how does this feel? We're back in LA. When we found you here, literally, you were The most bloated, drunk person. A lot of people had ever met. Now, you are sober and bloated. I know. My gut is really bad right now. I don't know what's going on. What has been going on? What have you been doing? I don't know. It's a compression short, Tony. That's why my penis looks so small. Just keep it moving. What's your diet like, William? What snacks are you chewing on? Huh? What snacks are you chewing on? A couple of Oreos in my mouth right now. No, Oreos. I've been eating all kinds of shit, but yeah, it's LA. I mean, I'm literally going to start drinking and doing cocaine tonight at the Comedy Store. I don't give a fuck. I'm actually going to a rave in a couple of hours. It's almost three years. I'm almost three years fucking sober, but I don't give a shit anymore. I'm drinking tonight. I'm doing blow at the Comedy Store tonight. And nobody's going to stop me doing that. Tim, do you want to do some blow tonight?

Okay. Post Malone, have you ever seen an entertainer quite as enthralling as William Montgomery? Absolutely not. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. What about Jared Nathan? You were being nice to his fucking retarded ass earlier, and he takes it like you're making fun of him. What a dumb ass. No, he was nice. First show I went to, you were there. He was there. I can't stop looking at your cock, dude. I'm so sorry. It's compression shorts, okay? I literally have these really good Nike compression shorts on right now. You look like a Ginger xenomorph from Ali. Just running around in the pantry. William, you look like what they feed the lesbian giraps at the zoo. That's a compliment. That's a tough gig to get.Thank you. You look great.Thank you so much. William, you are a superstar. Go ahead. No, I actually wasn't. I'm just wondering what these people are doing walking out of here right now. It's like right when I fucking get up, everybody's fucking walking out. Nobody knows What the fuck is going on? They probably work for fucking Netflix. Holy shit. I could tell the fucking Netflix people when I saw them. They were watching me being I'm in the fucking bathroom.

I swear to God, they saw my dick earlier, Tony. Oh, fuck. I love it. What else is going on, William? Nothing really. Just working on a couple more puzzles, eating my fucking Allbrand bloods. I'm shitting really bad right now, though, Tony. I swear I think I look bloated right now because I literally haven't shit in a couple of days. I hate that I bring this up. But it's really bad right now. I'm going to have to go to probably fucking Cedar, Sinai. Isn't that the hospital around here? Amazing. Yes, it is the hospital. Absolutely. Dr. Phil, you and William have bonded recently. Was that you? I can't remember. Well, no, William and I go way back. I met him on Grinder. It was such a love affair right at the very We're not kidding. It's like we couldn't stop kissing each other. Just your lips, your tongue. It all felt good. Then we did a Sudoku in the back of my Hyundai Toussaint. Only if this 13-year-old child says it's okay. Actually, dude, get up here, man. No, no, no. I can't. No, no, no. I can't. No, no, no. Sit the fuck down. You dumb ass.

Sit the fuck down. Jesus. Your fucking dad's nasty, dude. Your dad was getting you up here. Turn that Turn that way. Hey. What are you doing here? Do you come to this 24-hour fitness lobby often? All the time. What are you doing in here, big boy? Tony, I'm scared. No, seriously, what are you doing in here, big boy? Well, I was going to work I'm not going to say out, but I think my plans have changed. In what way? Fuck you, Post Malone. Oh, my God. Unbelievable. Oh, I think I just got HPV. You do. That was beard on stash crime. Now, I do got to say this, William and I, we go back further than that moment, okay? You hit it off with a good friend of mine, Elaine. Do you guys know Elaine? A good friend of mine. She made her debut on the Kill Tony show about a month ago, and you and her had a special moment. We did. Yeah, it was a hell of a song. I mean, are we going to be able to do that? It was a hell of a song, and Elaine can't be here tonight.

She's actually in the ER getting a vibrator removed from her asshole. But I thought since we got a lot of musical talent here tonight and 25,000 motherfuckers, maybe we could sing this song together. I think you know what I'm talking about. If you know these words, sing along, get the fuck up on your feet. Keia Fara right now.Kia on your feet. I've traveled the world. I've seen everything. Traveling the world. But tonight is the greatest night of my life. We've seen good jokes and bad jokes and Jews and blacks, and that fat guy almost had a heart attack tonight. But that's what you get when you sign up for Kill Tony. You try your best. You hope that on your side is luck. And if you strike out, go back home and call me for a titibuck. Everybody, call me for a titibuck. Call me for a titibug. Call me for a titibug. Just the black guys. Call me for a titibug. Just the Asian women. Call me for a titibug. Just Joe Rogan. Call me for a titibug. Just Tony Hidscliff. Call me for a titibug. Just William Montgomery. Call me for a titty fuck.

You can touch my head in my back. Keyia Forum will be right back. For a titty fuck. Call me for a Titty Bop. Call me for a Titty Bop. Call me. Call me. Hey. Call me for a Titty Bop. I can't hear my voice. What? Call me. Call me a A Titty Longs, Oh, Yeah. I said, Call me. Call me for a Titty Book. Call me, call me. Hey. Call me a Titty Book song, yeah. Call me for a Titty Book. I said, Call me Titty Book. You can call me any time of the night. Just call me for a Titty B. You know that it's right. Say the love song, yeah, yeah, yeah. Call me for a Titty Book. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Los Angeles, we love you. Call me for a Titty B. Thank you to our new director, Anthony Giardano in Notorius Productions. Thank you to the Comedy Store where it all started off. Peter Shore, Mitzy Shore. One more time for Post Malone. Tim Dylan, Dr. Bill, Afrodite, Nicole Tran. Let's see the art from Ryan J. E. Bell. Awesome. Chris Rogers. One more time for the best stand band in the land.

Soul Wilkenfeld. Fernando Castillo, Raul Valejo, Carlos Sosa, Chris Rogers, Ryan J. E. Bell. Follow the great Heidi at geenaaa. Hg. Follow Valarie Vaugh on Instagram and get in the car, underscore. Daniel Mandelman on the keys, Matt Meeling on the electric, Jetski on the horn, D. Mandis on the bass guitar. Los Angeles, we love you. Thank you. Good night. I love you guys.

Come me for a titty bug. Come me, come me, call me for a titty bug. You got to call me. Come me for a titty bug. Come me for a titty bug. Titty bug. Thank you to the comedians. And thank you to you guys, the best comedy fans in the world. We love you. Thank you. Good night. Come me for a titty bug. You know what to do. Come me for a quindi for... A baby, a moment of love. A baby, a moment of love. A baby, a moment of love. A baby, a moment of love. A

Oh, yeah. I did it for you. Oh, yeah. All right. I did it for you. All right. I did it for you. All right. I did it for you. Kill Tony. Yeah, kill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas, is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx. Com for tickets.

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