One of the reasons why so many people go away on a vacation and you feel like a different person, and you have all these different thoughts. And isn't it true? I mean, for me, personally, every major time that I've made a major life decision, I typically do it when I'm either on a hike or I am on just a family vacation. You don't have to go somewhere exotic. If you just get out of your environment and you give yourself a little bit of space to think, new thoughts come, new opportunities hit you because you're not getting all the input from the environment that you're used to day in and day out. Yes. And so what I always tell people is if you want to have a completely different experience of who you are, try setting the alarm a half an hour earlier tomorrow. And when that alarm goes off, feet on the floor and get up. And do what? Well, start your morning for beginners. I I can tell you the five things that I do.

Morning routines, right? They're important. They have set the day.

Not, so let's just start with common sense. The alarm goes off. Tell me the difference Between the day that the person is going to have, if they roll out of bed when the alarm rings, they turn off the alarm and they start their day, versus turning off the alarm and rolling over and going to sleep, and then coming back and turning it off again, and snoozing again, and then snoozing again. Tell me the difference between the type of day those two people are going to have.

One's probably going to not get much done. The other is going to get much stuff done.

Yeah, why? Because that first decision that you make in the morning is the first domino that falls. When you turn off the alarm and roll back to sleep, the first decision of your day is to procrastinate. It's to put your feelings first versus what you need to do to support yourself first. What's the second decision that most people make? It's to pick up the phone. So now the second decision that you've made is to hand over your most precious commodity, which is your attention to the outside world. When you pick up that phone, your cortisol spikes, which is already high in the mornings. And if you've had something to drink last night, you're also experiencing anxiety as a result of your body processing the the poison and the chemicals. And so now, what are you doing? You're putting a stressful input into your brain of either social media or email or the news, and you've now lost the battle with your attention. And you're not even out of bed.

Yeah.

And so, again, if you can set the alarm, and this is where my story begins, 2008, my life's going to shit, and I don't feel like getting out of bed, so I don't. I I lay in bed like a human pot roast, and I stare at the ceiling, and I think about our problems, and I get pissed at my husband, and I'm sad, and I'm depressed, and I'm this, and I'm that, and then I hit the snooze button because I feel like doing that. You have to win the battle with your feelings if you're going to change your life. You have to take action first, and your feelings and your mood will follow. And I think every one of you know exactly what you should be doing. You should get up on time. You should brush your teeth. You should high five the mirror. You should move your body. You should get outside and look at the sunlight. You should eat Whole Foods. You should be kinder to yourself. This stuff isn't rocket science. We want to overcomplicate it because our problems are so big. That's how I was. The problems are so big, so the solution has to be big.

Getting out of bed, how the fuck is that going to help, Mel? That's how I felt. And look, getting out of bed on time, taking care of yourself, it doesn't eradicate racism and poverty and cancer and all these things. I'll tell you what it does do. It eradicates your own resistance and self-doubt, and it helps you tap into the power inside of you to face those things. And then over time, as you start to tap into that power inside of you to change the way that you think, to change the way that you act, to become the person that you want to become, it enables you and empowers you to make a meaningful difference in those bigger things. And that's the secret to everything.

It's true. It reminds me of the Daoist notion that journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Correct. And we often resist taking that single step. And whether it's to count down from five or whether it's high-fiving yourself in the mirror, whatever it is, getting in a bed. There are simple actions that you have to move through those rough feelings and not let them run your life. Yeah.

I think if you just accepted the fact that The first 10 minutes of your morning are going to suck. If you can push yourself through those, your whole life will change. I don't like doing laundry, Dr. Hyman, but I still do it.

One of the best things to do in the morning, this is a hack, is based on a lot of longevity science, is wake up, get out of bed, and take an ice cold shower for two minutes.

You're now freaking me. I'm not willing to do that.

That I promised you, will get you going. It's better than a cup of coffee. I spent a month in Vermont with myself doing doing nothing. No computer, phone, really no books. A couple of maybe spiritual books like the Baháʼí Gita, and just me, myself, nature, God, whatever you want to say. The one thing I did every morning was I got up and I took an ice cold shower in December in Vermont. It really was a profound experience because then I would just be awake and I would just go sit and I would just be. I got to create this spaciousness that I've never had being busy running a million things. It was such a revelation to me that the quality of our morning and the things that we do in the morning set us up for the whole day.

Yeah, and here's the big life-changing idea. You have a morning routine already.

It's a shitty one, usually. Correct.

Choosing to hit the snooze button is a morning routine. Running late and your kid's missing the bus is a morning routine. Not eating something healthy, that's a morning routine. Choose to change it.

Yeah. Well, that's powerful. So you see the motivation actually has to come through, in a sense, changing your behavior first. It's behavior activation.

Look, motivation is complete fucking garbage because it's not there when you need it. Yeah, you're going to feel motivated if you listen to Dr. Hyman or Mel Robbins, but that's extrinsic motivation. In terms of the intrinsic motivation that you need to motivate yourself, you're going to have to push yourself because you're not designed to like change. You're designed to stop yourself from changing. And that's the problem.

I find that if you can actually master your mind and get out of your own way and deal with this crazy inner dialog that most of us have, that you can get free. And what I figured out at 63 years old is that the purpose of life is to get your soul free. Kind of like Joni Mitchell saying in that Woodstock song, let's get your soul free. And it's not easy because most of us We don't learn how to do that. Just because we don't learn how to take care of our bodies, we don't learn how to take care of our minds. So we know maybe how to do exercise, but how do we do intersize?

Inner size. Is that a word you made up? Kind of. I think Dr. Hyman just discovered a word for his next book, The Inner Size Program, The Ultimate Wellness Solution. I can already see this. You talk a lot about how to heal from the neck down, and I agree with you. I personally have come to believe, after 54 years of torturing myself, unnecessarily in many cases, that it does begin with the neck down. That if you follow a lot of the protocols that you talk about, whether it is toning the vagus nerve, or it's getting your diet right, or it is resetting your hormones, or it's cold exposure, or the habits that settle you and free your soul, But you also have to develop habits around your own mind. Yeah. And that's an area where, like you and like everybody listening, I have struggled profoundly. And there are a couple key insights that have really helped me change the default setting that is in my mind. And so the way that I would get into this is that self-love is the goal. You talked about the fact that you've come to realize that it's really a journey, your adult life, of setting your soul free.

And I look at it like it is a journey of coming back home to yourself and learning how to love your sofa exactly who you are and exactly who you aren't. And you have an opinion, medically, that our bodies have this intelligent design, and that our bodies have this intelligent design that if you have the proper inputs, your body can heal itself. Your body is designed to grow. It is designed to help you. It is designed to be vibrant. I believe the same is true about your experience mentally. And that if you stop and think about the fact that when you are born into this world, you come into this world needing, of course, other human beings in order to survive. I mean, we as a species, we cannot just pop out like a deer and get up on our hind legs and start running around and figuring things out. We need human connection. But at our core, when you think about the intelligent design of a human being, we are curious, we're loving, we are seeking connection, we are self-expressed. A baby, you as a baby, you would laugh, you'd smile, you would crawl towards a mirror.

If you saw your own reflection, you would crawl towards things that were interesting to you. You were not editing yourself. You were not questioning what people around you would think about you, juggling your booty or smashing your face into a plate of spaghetti. At your core, you are a loving, curious, confident human being. That's who you are. And that's why we miss feeling that way, because you can only miss something that you know. And so what What happens to all of us, and this is no fault, this is just part of the human journey, is that we now know, and you talk about this on your show, that part of your core memories and your imprint, mentally, in terms of your mental patterns, happen between zero and five when your brain is in a theta state and you are largely nonverbal, and your little brain is absorbing everything at hyper speed. And what it absorbs are the speaking patterns and the emotional patterns and the emotional tone of the household that you grew up in.

That's a scary thought. Well, it's true.

It's true. And so by the time that you start to be able to attach words to your reality, you have adults correcting you, and you also have a biological demand, which is, I need food. I need to be part of this family in order to survive. I need love. And so you start to figure out how to survive or thrive in the environment you grew up in. And so these core coping skills start to develop. You don't even realize what's happening. These opinions that you have about yourself that are largely coming from other people. So most of us did not receive the love that we needed in the way that we could really process it as love, right? Yeah. It's not necessarily a function of abuse or trauma or any of this other stuff. There's this term that I love called parental mismatch.

Yeah.

Parental mismatch. Yeah. Your parents may have been absolutely awesome human beings, But when it comes to what you needed, there was a mismatch. And what happens in human design is that when you, as a child, don't get what you need, or you get yelled at, or something bad happens to you, which happens to everybody, we're not wired in a way to say, My parents are fucking screwed up. We're not wired that way.

You know what parents are? What? Parents are people who have kids. Yes. They have no training, no experience.

And they're just repeating the patterns. And they're trying to figure it out. That were repeated on them, largely, without even realizing it. And so if you get bullied at school, if you experience racism, if you experience some abuse or neglect or emotional whatever in your home, you don't go, Those people have a problem. You go, There must be something wrong with me. And That's where it begins, Dr. Hyman. And it happens to everybody, where you prioritize the need to fit in.

Or survive in any way in your family if it's screwed up, which most of our families are not perfect.

Yeah, or to keep the peace or to not get hurt or to please the people around you, you figure out how to adapt very quickly based on the environment that you're in. And for almost all of us, that means I got to put it other people's expectations, other people's opinions about what's going on, everybody else's emotional reactions above what I need. Because remember who you are at your core. You are a loving, self-express, best curious person who wants to connect with people and wants to share yourself. That's who you are at your core. And at some point during your childhood, it happens to all of us, we internalize a message that there's something wrong with who we are. In order to fit in or survive or be accepted or get the love or the praise that we are seeking, we have to be somebody other than who we are. And that's where the mindset shit goes sideways. Because you start You actively tell yourself, I don't fit in there. That person's pissed at me. I got to be like this. There must be something wrong with me if nobody's asking me out on a date.

My mom's always criticizing the way that I look. Why do I look different than other people? Why am I the only black kid in the class? Why am I... My family family immigrated here, and there's nobody else in it. And you start to see all the places that you're not a part of. And all of these things compound, and it traps us in a narrative in our own minds, where we beat the shit out of ourselves. We pick apart the things that are wrong. We're constantly, relentlessly just focused on what we're not doing. And it's a very dark place that most people live in.

Yeah, it's really true. And often people don't it. I thought I was in my shit together.

When did you realize you didn't?

Over the years, I realized I needed work to do because I understood that my family origin was problematic, that my stepfather was a rageaholic, that my father was absent, abandoned us, that my mother was depressed. I had to navigate a very unsafe environment and be a people pleaser and take care broken people. I mean, all these habits and patterns that be around people who are failures and wanted to not be a failure. I had all these things that were driving me unconsciously or consciously. But when I really woke up was when I realized that I struggled with love. I'd been married three times, divorced three times. I'm like, Wait a minute, what is going on in there? In many areas of my life, I have success and things are great and I have a great community and great friends, and so much is great. But in this one area I was like, What the fuck? Why is this such a problem? Until I took the time to investigate, I call it soul archeology, to investigate what was going on and to unpack my inner dialog and to write it down. I literally wrote down all the stupid shit my head was saying every minute.

What were you saying to yourself?

Oh, my God. I'm very sad.

That's why I want you to say it. What is the stuff you were saying?

Wait, is this me interviewing you? Basically, I had this belief that I think that was underlying it, that I wasn't worthy, that I didn't really deserve to have love, that I had this needy inner dialog that was feeling a lack in scarcity, that I felt this emptyness in this hole that I was trying to fill, and that I wasn't ever going to be able to fill it. I was constantly doing that. I realized it was because... Again, these sins of our fathers are visited upon their children. It's like my mother was the child of deaf parents, and she had to take care of them from a very early age, and she took care of them. They were beautiful people and very loving, but she thought that love was taking care of somebody broken. Then my mom was depressed, and she used me as her therapist as a little kid. Then I thought love was taking care of broken people or people pleasing and doing all these things that really weren't serving me. And once I began to realize that, I began to call in my higher self, whatever that you want to call it is.

But there's some part of your soul being that knows what the truth is.

Well, I think it's the part of you when you're born. It's actually who you are.

But most of that is not what's running our inner dialog. Correct. And so that was not running my inner dialog. I began to do this practice where I would write down all this stupid shit my head would say, and then I would write back to myself from my higher self. It was really effective. I did this for months and months and months, and I was able to really unpack some of this stuff. Once I I realized also what this wounding was as a kid and why I felt empty in this. Actually, it was in part because of this movie called Coda that was about this young girl who was tearing and grew up in a deaf family, just like my mother. That just broke me open. I was literally on the floor sobbing for days. I got to release a lot of it. Then it reset my nervous system. It was almost like a real reset. But I struggled with some of that. Both Going through that process, I realized each of us has to be on our own journey, and each of us has to look at where are the areas where we don't love ourselves.

I thought, Oh, I love myself. I'm good. I feel good about myself. I'm successful, blah, blah, blah. But the truth was, it was a part that I really didn't. I didn't really fully accept and love myself. And that's what was creating this constant pattern of choosing the wrong people. A friend said, I had a broken picker. It wasn't the problem of the people I was with. It was me.

You had a broken pattern of belief in in your head, and that made you feel broken. Yeah. And the good news is when you can identify what the broken pattern of thinking or behavior is, you can replace it with something else. See, the good news is at any moment in your life, You can decide who you want to become. It's never too early or too late to decide that you want to become a different you. You want to go back to who you know you truly are, a loving, curious, confident, connected, self-expressed person. And what I want to just add to your story is that that wasn't a lie you were telling yourself, because your experience was one where you did not get the love you needed as a child. That happened. That did. That happened. And it was because of this mismatch. Nobody intentionally I set out to damage you.

No, my parents are good people. They just have screwed up themselves.

Yes. But so I think one of the mistakes that we make when we start to do this work to reclaim our lives and to change our mindsets and to become a different version of ourselves is that we shy away from telling the truth to ourselves. Like, that should happen. The reason why I believe that is because my lived experience was everybody else's needs came first. I did not get the love that I needed. And in order to even get the attention that I needed from the adults around me, I had to twist myself in knots. I literally had to forget about myself, and that was real. My husband, for example, we've been married 26 years and have been in really awesome, intense therapy for the last two years. One of the things that has come out of it is that Chris has a lot of trauma from his childhood. Had an absent father. His mom was He was always working. He was a latchkey kid. He had no physical abuse, but nobody was ever there.

Neglect is a form of abuse.

Yes. But you feel... But he has forever... They were great. We were all... But The truth is, no, they weren't.

And that's okay.

When you claim for real that you didn't get what you needed, and that created years, decades of an experience, where that was your lived experience experience. But what you're talking about by writing that down, and writing it down is critical because part of the issue is we try to change the default patterns of thinking that come from your lived experience. So they may have been true in the past because the way you got treated or what people said to you, that is your lived experience, just like trauma is your lived experience. When we don't really call that out for what it is, we unconsciously carry it forward. And so when When you start to write down, these are the crazy-ass things that I think because this is how I fucking felt. Based on my lived experience, this makes a lot of sense. But here's where consciousness alignment choice, the wake-up call, I call it, comes into play. You get to choose if you want to keep thinking this shit moving forward. Now, when it comes to mindset, what is profoundly complicated about it, and what I got wrong for years, is that I thought that changing your mindset began with changing your thoughts.

It does not. It does not. You change your mindset the same way you change the health of your body from the neck down, from the outside in. And let me give you what I'm talking about. The act of writing things down, that is not doing the internal work of your thinking. That is getting that shit out of your head and in daylight and on paper and in the real world so you can look at it objectively. That is doing work outside of your mind. The second thing is everything that you talk about, Dr. Hyman, from especially the stuff related to nervous system regulation, cold exposure, warm baths at night, the five breaths that you talk about, learning how to tone your vagus nerve so that you flip off the fight or flight, which continues all of those thoughts from your past to spin on repeat. Your thinking has so much to do with your nervous system state, that learning how to regulate your nervous system using all of the tools that Dr. Hyman or that I write about or all the amazing... Put that shit into place, because a calm nervous system facilitates calm thinking.

And the third thing is-I just want to stop you there because that's such an important point is you can change your physiologic state with practices that don't involve your thinking, that change your mind and change the way you feel and change your mood.

And that is such a powerful insight that most people have no idea about. People feel stuck in the state that they're in, and they don't know there's a pattern break. For example, yesterday, I had a podcast all day preparing for my book, and I had one that I didn't record. I was like, I didn't hit the record button. Long story. I was like, and I was just tired. My partner, Fianca, she basically set the alarm stupid early and forgot to turn it off. I didn't get him to sleep. I was feeling It was a little bit fried. I could tell myself my body, my mind was just doing bad stuff. I said, I'm going to meditate. I meditated for 20 minutes, and I have a steam shower. I put that on. When the steam, hot as it could be for 20 minutes, went on an ice bath, because it was winter, very cold in the Berkshire's for two, three minutes. I got out of that and I literally felt completely different. My mood, my energy, my focus, my brain. We have these doorways into our mind and our mood that are not in They're internal, they're external.

If you could summarize the things that are the most powerful to help us come back to self-love and self-acceptance, which really is the key to everything in life. It's the key to healthy relationships. It's the key to being successful in life. It's the key to taking care of your own body, of eating the right thing, of exercising, everything you can think you want to do or want to get in your life. It starts there.

Let me help you figure out what a million dollar morning looks like, okay? Here we go. Simple rules for a simple million dollar morning. Number one, when the alarm rings, get your ass out of bed. Look, it's your friend Mel. I know. There's a million reasons not to get out of bed. But Mel, it's 30 degrees. It's dark, it's raining, it's cold, it's depressing. I got a lot going on. I stayed up late. I'm exhausted. I'm hung over. I'm tired. My stress is through the... None of that matters. The only thing that matters is, do you keep the promises that you make to yourself? And I know I'm getting philosophical here. We were just talking about the alarm ringing. You know what the alarm is? That alarm, when it goes off, that is a promise that you made. You set that alarm, didn't you? You set that alarm the night before. And when that alarm goes off, now it's time to keep the promise. And how do you do that? I'll tell you how do you do that. You're going to use my five-second rule. The alarm is going to ring, and you are going to count backwards, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and then you're just going to roll out of bed.

That's it. It's not sexy. It's not fun. I have been getting out of bed this way for 14 years, and I still have to count backwards every single morning, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, because I don't like getting out of bed. I do not have the discipline to get out of bed. If I have the choice any day of the week to lay in a warm, cozy, amazing bed with bamboo silky sheets and my husband sleeping next to me, or roll out of bed into the cold bedroom and start my day, I will choose the warm bed every day of the week. But that's not the conversation you and I are having, are we? We're not talking about comfort. We're talking about simple discipline. We're talking about the promises that you need to start to make. We're talking about doing things that are hard and uncomfortable. Why? Because you deserve to have the life that you want. Sometimes feeling like a million bucks for the whole day means you got to feel like shit for about five seconds. And that's what it's going to take. And this is also about keeping promises. If you can't rely on yourself to get up when the alarm rings, how the hell are you going to rely on yourself to do the really hard stuff, to have the hard conversation, to blow off the party and work on your resume, to get serious about your songwriting career or the second act that you want to create, or finally meeting somebody who's not Got so much childhood trauma that you're their therapist and not your lover.

If you can't roll out of bed simply because you said you would, when the going gets really rough, you're going to bail on yourself, which is why getting up when the alarm Alarm Ring matters. Now, there's a second reason why. So the first reason is you're building a level of integrity. You're keeping that promise. The second reason why I don't want you to sit there and lay in bed, and I want you to get your ass out of bed when the alarm rings is because let's just between friends talk about what we're doing as we're laying there in bed. We're looking at social media. We're indulging our anxiety. We're We're experiencing trauma triggers. We are riding the wave of cortisol and stress hormones that are flooding through our brain and body. We're bemoaning the hangover we feel. We're spinning negative thoughts about the the way ahead or the stuff we didn't do or all the regrets we have because we can't remember what happened last night. That's what you're doing in bed. Let's be honest with each other. Is that what the new you wants to do? Of course not. That's the other reason why when the alarm When your arm rings, rule number one to the million dollar morning, get your ass out of bed.

Why? Because you're a winner and you got no time to lay in bed like a loser like Mel Robbins used to be and listen to that bullshit and feel those awful feelings. Get your fucking ass out of bed, and get on with your day and show your body who's boss. And don't indulge that bullshit in your mind, because the longer you listen to it, the louder it's going to get. And look, I get it. Some days it's really hard. I don't give a shit. All that negative This stuff is lying to you. Five, four, three, two, one. Shut it down and get your ass up. Because the fact is, if you want a new life, you're going to have to fight for it. If you want a million dollars in the bank and financial freedom, you're going to have to work for it. This stuff isn't easy, but it's simple. But you have to do it. So number one, alarm rings, ass out of bed. And here's the final thing I want to talk about when it comes to this. Why are you doing this? You're doing it for you. You see, I think for years and years and years, you were getting out of bed for other people.

Think about it. When you were little, when would you get up? You would get up because mom was yelling at you two, or dad was yelling at you two. You were getting up because you had to get to school, or make the bus, or get to work, or you get out of bed because you got to get the kids up, or you got to get your aging parents up. That ends today. Today, when that alarm rings, it is a fucking wake up call. Ding, ding, ding. Your life is here, and it's time for you to get up for you. So tomorrow morning, we're not waking up for somebody else. We're not laying in bed and listening to that bullshit because you get to make a choice. You can choose to do what you've always done, which means you're going to have what you've always had, or you can make a choice to show up as the new you. You can make a promise that you're going to not only wake up, you're You're going to get up for yourself, that you, my friend, are going to become the driver of your life. And that bullshit story, I'm not a morning person.

Fuck morning people. Who cares? This is not about whether or not you feel like it. This is about you building the discipline because you deserve to, because that's the person that you are. And let's also tell one more truth. If I needed you, you would get your ass out of bed for me. If somebody that you loved needed you to set that alarm an hour earlier because they needed a ride to the airport, or they needed somebody to go to a doctor's appointment, or heck, they just needed you to be there for them, you would do it. And so today, starting today, I want you to do it for yourself. And if you can't do that, then let me tell you the science. Okay? You want to know the scientific reason why you should never hit the snooze button? Let me hit you with some neuroscience here. Two words: sleep inertia. That's right, sleep inertia. When you hit the snooze button instead of getting your ass out of bed, you mistakenly create a condition in your brain called sleep inertia. Sleep inertia is a state that your brain gets trapped in for four hours after you hit the snooze button.

Because here's what happens when you hit the snooze button. When you hit the snooze button, you're awake. And as the alarm turns off, your brain then drifts back into sleep. And here's the thing that researchers have figured out. When you drift back to sleep after you've woken up, your brain starts a sleep cycle. And sleep cycles take 75 to 90 minutes to complete. So when that alarm goes off again in nine minutes, and you're like, Oh, my God. Have you ever noticed you're in deep sleep when you drift back to sleep? That's because you're nine minutes in to a 75 minutes sleep cycle. That groggy, exhausting exhausted, heavy, feeling that you have when you hit the snooze button several times and you can't quite get awake and you complain that you didn't get a good night's sleep, that's not a function of how while you slept. That's you and me being an idiot for hitting the snooze button and putting our brain in a state of sleep inertia. Because when you hit the snooze button, your brain is now freaking trapped in a sleep cycle. It takes your brain, based on research, about four hours to get through that groggy-ass feeling.

The most productive period of the day, which is the first 2 hours after you wake up, it's when your brain has the highest speed of processing, it's when you're the most alert. You just flushed the best 2 hours of brainpower down the freaking toilet because you hit the snooze button. Why am I so passionate about this? Because I wasted years of my life doing this. I was a chronic snooze button alarm hitter. I was also a chronic all-nighter puller in college. I was chronically late with deadlines. This was prolific in my life. I would always complain about not getting enough sleep. The truth is, I lived in a state of sleep inertia. So take your power back. Whether you're inspired by the science because it's just stupid to do this to yourself once you realize that this is what happens, or you're inspired by this idea that wouldn't it be fucking awesome if instead of waking up feeling obligated to the rest of the world, I took my life back and I started waking up for myself. I started seizing the day. I started seeing that alarm as more With an alarm, it is a wake-up call for the rest of my life.

So rule number one for a million dollar morning. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Get your ass out of bed because you, my friend, have a lot of cool stuff to do. And that brings me to rule number two. Rule Number Two. Rule Number Two of the Million Dollar Morning. You ready? Because you deserve to feel like a million bucks. You're going to make your bed. That's right. Make your bed. Why, Mel? Why are you making your bed? I'll tell you why. You're making your bed because your morning routine is a series of dominoes that fall. Okay? And so by seeing the alarm as a wake-up call to claim the day, to keep the promise, to be the future you. The first domino that falls is integrity and discipline. How cool is that? The second domino that falls is making the bed, which is about completing things. See, normally the old Mel would roll out of bed after hitting the snooze button, and the bed would look like a tsunami hit it. And then for the rest of the day, whenever I walked into the bedroom, you know what I saw? Something that was incomplete. I saw a mess that needed to be made that I had left for myself to clean up.

One of the reasons why I love this simple habit as part of your morning routine, always make your bed. And I mean always. If I am traveling for work and I'm staying in a hotel, I make my bed, even though you know somebody's going to come through and make it even nicer later. I don't care. Why? Because your morning routine is a way for you to be you no matter where you are. If I'm visiting my parents down in or up in Michigan, I make my bed. Why? Because I'm myself no matter where I am. That's the power of your morning routine. This is about the promises you keep. It's about the rhythm in which you start your day. And this is a habit about completing something. Isn't it awesome to think that you start your day by checking a box? That you make your bed because you know it's a way to finish something? And there are mornings, not very often, but there are mornings where Chris might still be sleeping. Maybe I got up a little earlier and he's sleeping in for whatever reason. I just make my side of the bed. I might even tuck in the sheet around him, tuck him in a little bit as a little act of love.

But there's another reason why to do this, and I love this framing of it, too, because making your bed is a way to give the future you a gift. Later on, you are going to walk into this bedroom, and you're going to lay down, and you're going to dream. And isn't it awesome to walk back into this bedroom tonight? And there is a beautiful bed made for you, a beautiful place for you to lay down tonight and dream, a little gift from the morning you to the evening you to say you deserve this. It's also a gift Because if you walk back into your bedroom, you've already taken care of it. There's nothing to do. There's no mess that's been left for you to clean up. You have left this gift of getting it complete, and that helps to build consistency. Consistency. And I also love it because it doesn't matter where you are. You can do it wherever you are. Just amazing. And that brings me to rule number three. We're going to hit the pause button. We're going to hit a word from our sponsors. I love our sponsors because they help me bring I'm going to show to you at zero cost.

And then I'm going to come back and we're going to talk about rule number three of your Million Dollar Morning. Hey, it's Mel, and we're talking about a Million Dollar Morning routine, and you deserve that, my friend. So So rule number one, alarm rings. It is a wake up call. Your life is waiting. Get your ass out of bed. You got stuff to do. Rule number two, we're going to make our bed because this is about a series of promises that create a positive domino ripple effect to start your day. And rule number three, high five habit, baby. You got to get in that bathroom after you brush your teeth and high five yourself in the mirror. Now, I did a whole episode about this, but I'm going to explain it for those of you that are brand new. Here's how we're going to do this. Right after you brush your teeth, and we're going to do it after you brush your teeth, because this habit should be paired with something that you already do and you don't even think about. That's called habit stacking, and it's going to help you encode this habit, which is a habit of encouragement, a habit of optimism, a habit of momentum and motivation, a habit of self-love, of self-confidence.

This is an incredible science-backed one-two punch that all comes down to simply high-fiving yourself in the mirror. So you brush your teeth. You better brush your teeth. I don't even have to say that as part of your morning routine because please do not go out into the world with dragonbreath or yellow carpet on your teeth. We're not doing that here in the Mel Robin show. All right? I'm assuming that your million dollar morning includes scraping the crap off your teeth. So when you're done flossing, brushing, rinsing, spitting, put the toothbrush down. Take a moment. Look the human being in the eyes. You know who I want you to see? I want you to see the future you. I want you to see the million-dollar you. I want you to see all your hopes and dreams in the hands of the person in that mirror. And I'll tell you something, that person deserves your support. That person needs your support. And that person needs you to keep a simple promise every single day. You're going to start your day and your million dollar morning with a little huddle with yourself. You're going to set an intention with yourself as you stand there after brushing your teeth.

This is so grounded in research. You got to get your mind right. You're going to stand there and decide, who am I going to be today? Is today Is it a day about peace, about freedom? Is it a day about momentum, courage? How am I going to show up today for myself? Who am I going to be? And then when you're ready, just like a winning team does, you are going to raise that hand and you are going to high five the future you in the mirror. You are going to send yourself into the game of life knowing that no matter what happens today, you're a winner. You can do this. You can still win. You are going to do your best. You're going to try. You're going to shake off the bullshit that comes your way, and you're going to get out there, and you're going to make it a great day. And the thing that I love about this, and again, I have covered the science in this in the episode that we release called The Most Important Habit You Can Have This Year. The first episode we released in January of 2023, it is a game changer.

My husband is also on that episode, and it's crazy emotional because he describes what happened to him. When he added the high five habit to his million dollar morning routine, the breakthrough that he experienced. Because you deserve to feel like a million bucks, and you don't feel like a million bucks when you're beating the hell out of yourself. And you don't feel like a million bucks when your dragon shame and regret and failure with you. And the high five habit is the science-backed, fast-tracked, research-backed way to plow an entirely new neuro pathway and relationship with yourself into your brain, body, mind, and spirit. I'm so passionate about this, but we spent a whole episode on it. So just trust me when I tell you Million Dollar Morning includes the high five habit. You are going to add a high five in the mirror to your future self and set an intention as part of your morning routine. All righty. Rule number 4: move your body and move your mind. Now, I need to say something because I haven't said it I forget to say this because I just think it's like something you need to do.

It's so obvious. And that is, have you noticed what I haven't done yet? I haven't looked at my phone. And I want to be very clear about this. You are to get your ass out of bed without looking at your phone. You are to get your ass out of bed before you look at your phone. You are You're supposed to make your bed without looking at your phone. And you are supposed to walk into the bathroom and wash your face and brush your teeth and do all that stuff and then do the high five habit and send the future you into the day after this awesome huddle and not look at your phone. I now want you to move your mind and your body without checking your text and email. Why? Because the second you pick up that phone and you look at a text or an email, you have now put the entire world in front of you. I want you to stop and think about how many people follow you online. Even if it's just a couple of hundred people on Facebook. Would you want them to walk into your bedroom every single morning?

No, of course not. Would you want them to walk into the bathroom as you're standing there without underpants on, brushing your teeth? No. Then why on Earth Are you letting them do that by looking at your phone? Because that's what you're doing. And more importantly, the second that you look at your phone, you are giving your most important resource as part of your Million Dollar Morning, which is your attention and your intention and your energy to other people. We got to fucking conserve that shit for yourself. Like your dreams, your energy, your focus, your intention, your attention. You got to fight to keep that yours. And so, yes, you may listen to something as you move your body, or you may listen to a guided meditation as you move your mind. But do not, under any circumstances, look at your freaking text or your email or you screw the whole thing up. It goes from the million dollar morning to bankruptcy 101 because you just let everybody bankrupt your attention and bankrupt your energy and stress you the hell out before you gave yourself the time, you're not going to find the rest of the day.

And this is so important because I know a lot of you are like, But I like to do it at the end of the day. You can't count on that. The only thing that you can count on is that first thing in the morning, if you get up early enough, you can put yourself first. You can move your body and you can have a mindfulness practice before the rest of the world steps in and steals your time and energy. And so get serious about this. Yes, you can have a longer workout routine at night. Nobody's saying you can't do it twice. I'm just advocating for something based on the research and common sense. And so rule number 4 of the Million Dollar Morning, move your body and move your mind. I'm talking 10 minutes. There's a brand new study that's been published in the Journal of the American Medical Association that has found that just 10 minutes of power walking every day can add years to your life. The best part is that walking is fast, it is free, and it is a way for you to achieve with better health, a better mood, and even better sleep.

Now, what is a power walk? Walk like you're late. That's all you need to do. Based on the research for 10 lousy minutes, get outside with your dog, your kids, your spouse, get out on the porch, whatever you can do for 10 lousy minutes. This is so important, not only because 10 minutes of walking like you're late, just briskly walking. It not only adds years to your life, It improves your mood. Mood impacts focus all day. And also, if you can get outside first thing in the morning and bang these 10 minutes out by walking your dog or walking with your kids or walking around the yard or whatever it may be, it resets your circadian rhythm when you see bright light or the outside first thing in the morning. Based on research, that's one of the best ways for you to develop healthier sleep habits. So 10 minutes, physical exercise, 10 minutes of a mindset practice, whether you're journaling, meditating, praying, listening to some calming app, writing out prompts related to mindset that you're trying to develop. Just move your mind, move your body. All you got to commit with the mind is literally a minute.

That's it. You're done. And bada bing, bada boom. You have put your mind and your body and your spirit first. And don't look at the phone yet. Don't turn it on the TV yet. Don't check email yet. Because rule number five, and this is what will make you a million dollars. This is what will help you pay off a million dollars in debt. It's called the progress principle. The secret to getting big things done is making little progress every day. You want to know how I have accomplished everything I've accomplished? I make little progress on things every day. And so before you look at your phone, before you look at email, before you let the rest of the world in, take five minutes and move the ball down the field on something that's important to you. This comes from research out of Harvard Business School. They call it the Progress Principle. It is so simple. People who feel like they've made progress on something that's important to them feel more fulfilled. Period. It's not about getting things done. It's about making progress on things that actually matter. So whether that thing that matters is getting the photo album assembled for mom and dad's anniversary, or It's getting the paperwork in for financial aid for the degree that you want to go get, or making progress is clearing out the back bedroom now that your kids have moved on so that you have a place for the future you to really work on that new book you've been writing, or maybe it's progress on something like I've been working on, like launching a podcast, slowly chipping away at learning about it, studying it, moving it down the field 5, 10, 15 minutes a day is all

it takes because those little moves add up to major change. And that, my friend, is the Million Dollar Morning. It's really that simple. It's based in profound research. It checks all the boxes. You can add anything you want to it. But what I love about it is no matter where I am, whether I'm home in Southern Vermont, or I'm visiting my parents, or I'm visiting a friend, or I'm sleeping on my daughter's couch in Southerny, or I am staying in a hotel, this simple series of five promises, it makes me feel like me. It makes me know that no matter where I am, and what's going on, I know I can rely on me. Because every single day when that alarm rings, I keep that promise to myself. I wake up, I roll out of bed, I get started, I get my ass out of bed. I do not look at my phone, I do not look at my phone. I do not look at my emails. I do not check my text, I do not look at social media. I wouldn't dare do it because it's not part of my million dollar morning. I then go and make the bed.

Why? Because it makes me feel like a million bucks. I'm just that person, you know? And then I set the intention with the future Mel, That's right, bitch. We're going to go get it today. High five to that. Get out there. Let's go. And that high five, it washes away the worry. It jacks me up. It makes me feel a little bit more like I'm up to something. Let's do this thing at 54. I feel cool. Not going to lie. Got to make time to move my body and my mind. Ten minutes. You got 10 lousy minutes. I still haven't looked at my messages or my emails. Not going to let it bankrupt me. I am on a million-dollar roll, and then I got to move the ball down the field. That's it. That's it. That is it. And I'm serious about this. I want you to try this Million Dollar Morning, and I want to help you get started. So if you want some help, let me kick your ass. Well, I'll actually just encourage you. Join my free five-day challenge. I created this to help you put this into practice. I say this all the time.

We're not just here for listening. This is a doing podcast. And so we created the no cost, Wake Up Challenge for you. Go to Mel wakeup. Com/wakeup. Start tomorrow. Tens of thousands of people have already completed it. And in the challenge, you learn more hacks, tips, science, research, all kinds of things that will not only motivate you, it's going to help you become the future you. That's what this is about. And you know why we're doing this? Simple. Because I love you, and I believe in you. I believe that you can do this. You can create a morning routine that makes you feel like a million dollars. You can keep a set of simple promises that helps you create the foundation to achieve your goals. And trust me when I tell you, it will be worth it. The starting point, if you are feeling like either... And I think there's a lot of people that have good jobs and feel like their life is good, but they still find themselves- That was me. Criticizing. I'm sitting there this morning looking at, I need to put cover up here. I need to do this. Oh, I need to get my roots done.

Like you said, all the little picky things, and as opposed to stopping and appreciating and taking a moment. Yeah. And here's the thing. And we can unpack the science because I think the reason why this is so powerful is it's not a mantra. It's a physical action and habit that your own brain watches you do because you do it in a mirror. And between the dopamine drip that your brain gives you when you receive a high five to the programming and neural association that you already have in your mind, in your subconscious with a high five, to the celebratory energy that is hardwired in your body, there are four extraordinary benefits, backed by science, that you will get no matter who you are, where you are, or what you're facing in your life, if you add a high five in the mirror to your morning routine, no matter how cheesy, stupid, and weird it sounds. So number one, you get a boost of dopamine, which boosts your mood. Number two, you literally silence your critic Because the programming associated with a high five is already in your brain. So when you raise your hand and go to high five yourself, your prefrontal cortex is paying attention.

But as soon as it recognizes that a high five is coming, it grabs the programming from your subconscious. A high five says, I believe in you. I love you. I see you. Keep going. Shake it off. You can face this. I'm with you. A high five has never in the history of high fives meant you're a bad person. You're going to fail. Fuck off. I hope you lose. Right. So your brain's programming with a high five shuts up your inner critic and overrides it. That's benefit number two. Benefit number three is your mind is watching. A high five is not just some gesture. A high five demonstrates to your own brain that you treat yourself with kindness, respect, and support. And as your brain every morning sees you taking this action of kindness, support, celebration, and love for self, your brain starts to plow new neural pathways related to your identity. That's number three. Number four is you feel a little jolt of energy that comes from your nervous system because your nervous system You're hardwired for celebration, and your nervous system knows exactly what a high five is. And so every single morning in five seconds or less, you can give yourself those four benefits, backed by science, that have been proven to work for more than 140,000 people in 91 countries in the last 48 days.

That many people have gone through a five-day challenge online with me. Not a single person in that challenge Not one has said it hasn't worked. And here's the thing. It's five seconds, and it's free. So what have you got to lose? Why would you want to do it? But hold on a second. Why would you want to do it? If you got bills that you can't pay, if you've got shame and regret, if your life is a hot mess, if you're surrounded by clutter, I guarantee you, you make yourself fucking wrong over it. Imagine Imagine the difference if instead of starting your day by ignoring yourself or beating yourself up and trashing yourself about how cluttered the bathroom sink is and how you haven't even gotten to this yet, imagine if you shut that down and instead, you started practicing a new habit of simply raising your hand and sending yourself into the game of your life the way that a good teammate does in sports. Wouldn't that help you open one, Bill? Wouldn't feeling encouraged help you attack the clutter in your calendar? Wouldn't feeling that you at least treat yourself like you like yourself, make it easier for you to draw some boundaries with yourself because you like yourself?

Isn't high-fiving yourself an act of forgiveness An act of compassion? And don't you fucking need it? Hey, it's Mel, and I know I have been hammering the point that you have to create a routine if you want to be happy, successful, and feel confident and in control. And so many of you have asked me, what is my morning routine? So today I decided to walk you through it. So I wake up at 6:15 to this alarm clock that simulates the sunrise. Then I pet my dog. Then I always make my bed. This is a really important tip. So the night before you are going to sleep, lay out your exercise clothes, because when you see them in the morning, it acts like a trigger in your mind to remind you of your promised exercise. And even though I get dressed, I don't feel like exercising. Here's another pro tip. I program my mind to be positive all day, and I practice gratitude while brushing my teeth. I brush with my non-dominant hand, which is the hand that you normally don't write with. So I brush my teeth with my left hand because I'm a righty.

And then as I am brushing my teeth with my left hand, I have to pay attention because it's not really a natural thing to do. And as I'm paying attention, I have my gratitude practice where I think about what I'm grateful for. I love it when the spring flowers are coming up. We've turned our family room into a gym, and I have tagged a bunch of the classes and instructors that I love. For you to check out. Got to go to the bathroom. There's Chris. Now, let's get started with the class. Braxton, here we go. Oh, forgot my water bottle. I have terrible ADD. It is true. What do I put in my water bottle? Baraka, Holly Jacobs from Sony Pictures I love you for introducing me to this. Hard to exercise when you have a puppy, but makes you grateful. What do I eat for breakfast? Either a smoothie or eggs from the chickens across the street. And I'm telling you right now, your morning routine is everything. So get up early and find time for yourself. So there you have it. That's my typical morning routine, and it never fails. Every morning that I stick to my routine, I have a much more powerful day.

And the mornings that I don't stick to the routine, suck, honestly, because I wake up behind the ball. When I get up when the alarm rings, I have made and kept a promise to myself. When I make the bed, I am completing something before I leave the bedroom. And I also whenever I walk back into the bedroom, I see something that has been accomplished. I don't see a mess that needs to be completed. By prioritizing my physical and mental health and getting some exercise in, I not only feel better mentally, but I also release chemicals in my brain that helps me focus. There is no doubt that having a powerful morning routine Routine is part of every successful person's programs. It is something that you deserve. It is something that you should create for yourself, and it is something that will improve your life. Now, I want to challenge you, put your morning routine tomorrow morning on social media. Put it on your stories, do a collage of photos, and please tag me and describe your morning routine because I am going to be watching, I'm going to be cheering for you, and I'm going to be celebrating people on my story for the next week who are They're putting their morning routines out there.

Remember, morning routines are amazing, so make one that works amazingly well for you. One of the topics that... I just have to talk about this today because I'm feeling it, is overwhelm. I am feeling so overwhelmed today because I have to pack, I have to get in the car when I'm done talking to you about overwhelm, I have to drive to Boston. I am going to a funeral for a friend, and I'm giving a eulogy, which is both a huge honor and a massive, massive reason to feel overwhelmed. And so it is one of those life imitates art moments right now where we were planning on talking about overwhelm, and I roll in here behind the microphone. I am a hot mess right now. I didn't even put on underwear yet today. I've got on ripped jeans, a jog bra, and a yellow T-shirt. And I just realized that the T-shirt says, Mentally elsewhere. And so it may feel a little odd that the person that you're going to have a conversation with about overwhelm is a hot mess with a messy bun. But you know what? I've always envisioned the Mel Robbins podcast to be like taking a walk with a really good friend.

And when you take a walk with a really good friend. You show up as you are, and you walk, and you talk, and you sort things out together. And so today's episode I'm really excited for because you and I are going on a walk together, and I've got five other listeners that are going to join that walk with us. And as we walk and we talk, we are going to unpack this topic of overwhelm. And I've got this framework that you're going to love. There are two types of overwhelm, and seeing which type of overwhelm that in, it's going to help you take the steps to deal with being overwhelmed, to become calmer, to tap into your power. You probably notice that my voice is starting to gain a little bit of steadiness. That's because I know what's coming. I know that as you and I talk through these frameworks and as I hear other listeners like you sharing what's going on in their life and why they're overwhelmed, and as we talk about what you can do to face those situations in life, I'm starting to feel a little steadier because I know by the end of a good walk with friends, you always feel better.

And I want you to stay until the end because at the very end, you're going to hear from a listener named Michelle, and she has so much joy in her voice because she has applied what you're about to learn and what I'm about to remind myself of when it comes to overwhelm. So let's dig into our first question, which comes from a listener named Laura.

Hi, Mel. This is Laura, and here's my question. How can I identify when can I push harder and when to pause or give myself some grace? How can I adapt all the things I'm learning in your podcast to my reality? I can explain. I'm a 35-year-old mom of a very, very active two-year-old. I have a full-time job, and I'm planning on doing a lot of things, including trading for my third marathon. But I also suffer from anxiety, and I have the habit of procrastinating. I listen to all of your podcasts. I love them, and everything makes a lot of sense to me. And I really want to do all the things that you teach us to become the best version of myself. But the The truth is that almost every day, life happens, and I end up doing nothing. I wake up, I make breakfast, get my kid ready for school, get myself ready for work, and I'm off to work by 8:30 AM. Then I have a full-time of work, and I finish work around 5:30 PM. Then I get home and I try to be with my kid. At 7:30, we start our night routine.

And by 8:30, when my baby boy, hopefully, is asleep, I feel exhausted. I only want to have dinner and go to bed. But I also want to fit in a morning routine, exercise, time to work in the thousand things I have in my to-do list, social life, and the list of things that I want to do in one day goes on and on and on, including meditating, cooking better food. It goes on. How can I prioritize and adapt a million dollar morning routine to my reality? Should I expect more from myself? Should I push harder maybe at night, wake up earlier, or should I just feel... Do what I can? How do you fit in time to do all the personal growth when it really feels I do not have the time and physical or mental energy to do it. Thank you very much, Mel.

Oh, my gosh, Laura, I'm so glad you're on the walk today, because hearing you list off all the things you need to do, I suddenly feel less overwhelmed. Can we just have a laugh about that? When somebody else is more overwhelmed than you, you're like, Oh, okay, thank God, it's not just me. So one of the things I want to say to you, Laura, and to you listening, is that life is a marathon, not a sprint. There are times in your life where it's going to be overwhelming all the time. And one of those times is when you have kids that are not yet in a full school day. I remember those chaotic days of trying to get our kids out the door in the car to daycare so I could get to a full-time job, commute in, work all day, commute back out, make it back to daycare in time before daycare closed and they started to find you and you feel like the world's worst parent because you're showing up when the lights are off and your kid is there alone, and then get home, and then transition, and then get them into the...

It is exhausting. And one of the big lies that we tell ourselves when it comes to overwhelm is we tell ourselves If I just hurry, I can fit more in. Right now, your life is not about fitting more in. It's about a level of acceptance for where you are. Because I hear in what you're talking about, this resistance that you don't have enough time, that you can't fit it all in. And the truth is, you're doing the most important thing in the world right now. You are taking care of a small child. You are working. You are Taking care of yourself. And that is what you need to focus on. And you listening, you might not have a little kid at home anymore or at all, but maybe you're taking care of aging parents. That was my friend Joni. Joni was the primary caregiver her mother for the last two years as she was slowly dying and suffering from dementia. I never saw Joni. Why? Because she was in a very draining situation where she was caring for somebody with a chronic illness, and all she could do was get up, do that, take care of herself, go to sleep.

And that brings me to this framework for overwhelm that has profoundly helped me. And And as I explain this to you, I not only want you to listen, but as we continue this conversation and this metaphorical walk together, I want you to start to take this framework, the two types of overwhelm, and not only apply it to your life, but see if you can apply it to the situations you're going to hear other listeners describe. Because the two types of overwhelm are legitimate overwhelm. So your life circumstances demand overwhelmed from you. Laura, with a full-time job and a kid under two, and I can't tell if she was married or not, so I'm going to assume she's a single parent, she is in a period of life where she is in legitimate overwhelm. Joni, my friend who was caring for her mom who just recently passed away, she was in a 2-3 year period of legitimate overwhelm. The demands of her life created overwhelm. Our daughter, who's about to graduate from college and who is a singer-songwriter, and there's not a defined career path, she right now is careening into a couple months of legitimate overwhelm because of college ending and an uncertain future.

And I, right now, am in a state of legitimate overwhelm. I have a friend who recently died. I am delivering a eulogy. I'm going to be in this legitimate overwhelm Overwhelm until I get through this service. And so when it comes to legitimate overwhelm, the only thing that you can do is to have tools that I'm going to unpack in just a minute. So that's the first type of overwhelm. Now, let me explain the second one. And the second one is where most of us live. The second type of overwhelm is lifestyle overwhelm. That's when your whole life feels overwhelming. When you're just so You're used to feeling overwhelmed and busy and to-do lists everywhere, and stuff is a mess, and things are on the counter, and you've overcommitted yourself, and you can never say no, and you're always last on your list, and you don't know how to get out of it because it's become a vicious cycle. Your whole life is overwhelmed. That's the second type of overwhelm. And so, Laura, you have legitimate overwhelm, which means you need a strategy to ratchet down the stress that you're putting on yourself. And one of the most important things that you can do in terms of a strategy is you have to tell yourself, this is a temporary period of my life.

And what I need to do as a strategy is I need to prioritize my own well-being, my own stamina. Because remember, this period of your life isn't the sprint. It's a marathon. One of the most important strategies that you need is you need to get more rest. That's it. Instead of piling things on, instead of adding more to your life, you need to get more rest. If it's available to you and you can get help, whether it's from your partner or your parents, or maybe other moms in your mom group or that you know that have kids the same age, maybe you can swap time on the weekends so you can get time alone to do something like going to a yoga class or doing something for yourself. But your tool right now is ratchet down the pressure and stress. Remind yourself that this is a temporary period of your life where you are legitimately going to feel overwhelmed and it will pass. And with regard to your question about the morning routine, the Million Dollar Morning Routine, which, by the way, is something I explained in our episode about morning routines, and I will link to that episode in the show notes for you.

But my Million Dollar Morning Routine which is grounded in science, it helps me feel like a million bucks, and gives my day's structure, it's 20 to 30 minutes long tops. I don't care how overwhelmed you are, you can fit it in. You get up when the alarm rings, you make the bed, you high five the mirror, you pull on your exercise clothes, you get outside and get a little bright light. And that could even mean sticking your head out of a window if you can't leave your two-year-old, but you could take your two-year-old on a walk, and you spend 10 to 20 minutes moving your body. And you can do that in front of your laptop by streaming a workout. You do those things every 20 minutes, and you will feel less stressed, you will feel less overwhelmed, and you will feel less resentment and pressure to fit it all in. So again, if you identify with Laura, or with me, or with my friend Joni, and your life is in a stretch on this marathon, that requires stamina, and you have a legitimate reason to be overwhelmed because of life circumstances, cut yourself some slack.

Know that this will not be forever, and focus on the strategy of protecting your stamina and doing simple things that help you with your well-being. Have you ever heard of slithering out of bed? Holy cow. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm so excited to teach this to you. It will will change your life. If you struggle with anxiety, with depression, if you have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, slithering is something I want you to try. It is a form of somatic therapy, and it's going to change your life. It changed mine. I've been doing it for six weeks. And in fact, I wanted to make this video because I posted this video about it, just a short one the other day, and it exploded online. You had so many questions, so I wanted to dive deeper. So let me demonstrate. So when you wake up and you feel that heaviness, what I would do is the first thing I would do is I would high five my heart, which I taught you in the high five habit. I put a hand here and a hand here, and I just say, I'm okay, I'm safe, I'm loved.

And that hand right here and right here, it just really grounds me and it tones the vagus nerve, which helps to flip from a state of fight or flight, dread, fleeing into a calmer place. And then I think about the fact that I'm about to slither out of this bed. I don't want to slither out of this bed. I don't feel ready to slither out of this bed. This is not something that makes me happy. This is not something that I want to do. Slithering out of bed in a moment where I'm depressed or grieving or anxious because I know that I'll feel better once I get moving, slithering out of bed is what I need to do. And so there would be mornings that I would use the five-second rule to initiate it. So you can count backwards Five, four, three, two, one. You're under your covers. Five, four, three, two, one. And then, I mean, you literally move in the direction of of the floor. You just succumb to the resistance, and then you're going to move around. And there are a few mornings, honestly, in the past six weeks that I would get to this point and I'd want to crawl in a fetal position like this, and I'd lay there for a minute, and then the dog would come over and lick me, and then I'd move like this.

And then the more that I did it, the less I would lay on the ground, I'd just roll around and stretch. And then eventually, when you're ready, whatever shape you want, because it's the resistance that you're feeling, you get on all fours and you just start to crawl. And you're staying low to the ground because you're giving into the heaviness. But you're not throwing in the towel. You're moving with it. You're moving through it. And at some point, as you're crawling, you will feel ready to just stand up. And it's almost like that physical moving moves all that resistance out of you and through you in a way that is organic, it's doable. It feels like in a weird way, it acknowledges and honors the depression and the grief or anxiety or sadness or overwhelm that you're feeling. It's super empowering because you don't have to feel energized or motivated. There's a lot of mornings where I don't. Knowing that I can use this technique to embody and move with the heaviness inside me as a way to move through it and get my power back, it's absolutely incredible. I want you to try it.

I want you to try slithering. I'm going to answer some of your questions because you guys blew up my DMs and my comments when When I posted that video. How long you've been practicing the slither? And why did you start? Well, I've been practicing for six weeks, and I started because my therapist recommended it as a way to feel empowered while I was facing so many changes in my life that felt too big to bear. That even though life is overwhelming, you still have power inside beside you to move through the things that are scaring the hell out of you right now. Sometimes you don't have to muster up a ton of strength. Sometimes all you got to do is slither. Seriously. When would I use this technique? Well, you would use this technique, I think, any moment where it's just too much to bear. I kept saying to my therapist, Intellectually, I know that I need to get up. Intellectually, I know that this A period from 5:30 AM until 10:30 AM, that it's going to get better with time. But physically, I can't push through it, and I'm starting to get scared of it.

And so that's when she said, I think you need to lean into it. I think you need to take an embodied approach. And so I think any time you feel that way, whether you're on the couch or maybe for you, it's not getting up in the morning, maybe you spend so much time at night unwinding from the day that you have a really hard time getting from the couch to your bed. So maybe for you, it's like an end-of-the-day transition from one place that you're sunk into into your bedroom. Have I noticed a I've noticed a huge difference. Absolutely. Absolutely. I've noticed a huge difference because I now have another tool in my toolbox. I mean, I've been using the five-second rule for 14 years to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, push myself out of bed, force myself out of bed. This feels like something gentle and just powerful in its own way. I love having two different things I can do. What if I have a dog who will jump a lot over me? It's actually great because the dog is worried about you because the dog can sense all that heaviness in you.

The dog also will probably bring some playful energy, which is probably going to make it easier and faster for you to stand up because their energy will transfer to you. What if my bed is high or I have a wood floor and I don't have the mobility to fall out of bed? That's a great question. If you have a high bed, roll the foot out first, and then you can slide down like that and do that. I think If you sleep on the floor, maybe just roll around on the floor. If you're on a futon on the floor, or you sleep on a thermo rest or whatever, just roll off the thermo rest or roll away from where you are so that you get moving. That's probably a great way to start. And so whatever the slither or the slide or the embodiment of moving through the heaviness means to you, that's what you want to do. Let's see. Can you teach this technique to your kids? Yes, absolutely. I think it's great for kids, actually, because you're honoring how they feel. You're not trying to correct them or coerce them. You're You're actually creating a deeper connection with them because you're honoring that they don't want to get out of bed.

And so, oh, it's a morning that you're going to slither, you're going to slide out of bed. So you can have fun with it. What if you have a hard time feeling stuff in your body? I actually think this would help. Maybe it's hard to get out of bed because you are disconnected from your body. I was surprised. I was scared to try this because if I already felt so scared in my body, it's going to sound weird, but if I already felt so scared in my body, hiding under the covers gave me a false sense of safety, right? I'm hiding from the world, even though I hate the feelings of my body. So there was something scary about allowing myself to slither out of that safe cocoon where I'm hiding from the world into the floor where you're open and all this stuff. And so I get that. But I've been empowered by how quickly that heaviness that pinned me to the bed leaves as I roll and move and start crawling and walking. And the more you do it, the more you'll notice the faster you go from crawling to actually standing up.

Let me do it with the question. Oh, we got one more. Can I use somatic therapy in other areas of my life? Absolutely. Somatic therapy, I believe, is just using your body as a way to move through things, whether it's meditation or it's deep breathing, or I would imagine that the cold exposure therapy and the ice baths that I do are a form of somatic therapy, yoga, regardless of what form you practice, Thai Qi, even going outside, hiking, spending time in nature, deeper breathing. Those are all forms of somatic therapy that we all need to integrate more into our day-to-day life. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.