You and I are going to learn how to take better care of your brain. And if you really stop and think about it, why don't we. Why isn't there a user manual for the most important organ in your body? I mean, you literally cannot live without it. Six world renowned experts are here to teach you daily tricks that will help you take better care of your brain and unleash its full potential. You're going to get the same simple science on improving your memory, the right foods to eat, and one thing that a renowned doctor wants you to avoid, to have a better brain. Your mind is never going to be the same. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and thank you so much for being here with me and taking the time to listen to something that could improve your life. That is just so cool. And it's an honor to be together today. If you're a new listener, I want to welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Mel Robbins. I am excited to share this time with you. And today, you and I are talking about a topic that you may have never even considered, which is how you should be taking care of your brain.

I mean, the same way that you brush your teeth or fuss with your nails, there are simple things you and I can do to make your brain better, sharper, smarter, and happier. And my mission today is to make you want to take care of your brain. And I'll admit something to you. Until I started the Mel Robbins podcast, I didn't think about taking care of my brain. You know, I just thought about my brain, and I pictured that sort of mound of macaroni that's, like, at the back of your head. After today, though, it will not be an afterthought. Your brain will become a daily priority, because you're going to meet six world renowned experts, including the number one brain doctor on the planet, professors from Stanford and Harvard Medical School, and researchers who are here for just one to empower you with simple, science supported hacks and daily practices that will help you take care of your brain and unleash its full potential. And what I love about the six experts is that they all have this incredible message of hope and empowerment with all the simple hacks they're about to teach you. The fact is, you can build a better brain.

And it doesn't matter how young you are or how old you may be, this is the truth. It's science. Whether you've had concussions, whether you did well in school or you didn't whether you're a fast processor or slow processor, you can build a better brain using the simple, proven strategies that you're about to learn today. And the first expert I cannot wait for you to meet is Jim quick. Jim, like all six experts today, has appeared on the Mel Robbins podcast. And if you want to dig in deeper to his advice or anything that you're about to hear, just go to the show notes. You can find them@melrobbins.com podcast. And I want to give you some context for what you're about to hear from Jim. When Jim was little, they used to call him, get this, the boy with the broken brain. And they called him that due to this freak accident that happened to him in elementary school in his classroom. He was standing on this chair in his classroom, and he fell off it and hit his head on a radiator. And after that accident, Jim had incredible difficulty learning, studying, memorizing, and even simply functioning in the classroom.

But luckily for you, he figured out not only how to heal his brain, but Jim Quick is now a world renowned brain coach, teaching millions of people how to have a sharper memory, better information retention, and a happier brain. And today, he is your brain coach. I want Jim, who is a world renowned brain coach and the head of a very successful brain institute, to share with you this incredibly positive message about your brain. And we're going to start here because his words are inspiring. They're based on the work that he does with thousands of people every single year and extensive research. And here's Jim after I asked him this question. Jim, do you really believe absolutely anyone can improve their brain? You need to hear this.

It's been my experience coaching people every single day for the past 32 years, that regardless of your age, your background, your career, your diet, your education level, your financial situation, your gender, your history, IQ, that we all can improve. It's about progressing beyond what you're currently demonstrating or what you believe is possible. We know that about one third of your brain's performance, if you will, like its memory, is predetermined by genetics and biology. But that means two thirds is in your direct control. The idea here is we have more influence than we think.

All right, the brain coach just told you that you can change your brain. And so let's go to one thing that everyone wants to know how to improve, and that's your memory. So here's Jim again after I asked him. Now, Jim, I've tried everything. Can you tell me how the heck can I remember someone's name?

Here's the quick method. Suave. When you're, next time you're at an event and you want to, you say, I'm going to remember names. Look at yourself saying, I'm going to be suave. The s say the name right away. When somebody gives you their name, greet them back using their name, because it means you get to hear it twice. And also it means you, you don't want to have a 20 minutes conversation with somebody. Let's say there's a lot of background noise. 20 minutes conversation with Ted and say, goodbye, Ed. Right. You want to be corrected up front.

I like the fact that you say the name immediately, because even if you say it wrong, they'll correct you and they're not going to be offended because if you say it immediately, they, it's just that you heard it wrong. It's not that you didn't remember it. And also, if you notice, well, so keep going.

So, yeah, no, absolutely. So you say the name, then you use it three or four times in the conversation. And then the a in suave ask. This works really well for people who have unusual names or names you haven't heard before. What can you ask about a person's name?

How do you say your name?

How do you say your name? How do you spell your name? Where is it from? Who were you named after? Does it mean something in another language? Right. So everyone's favorite topic is their name, because think about it, probably one of the first words you heard, probably one of the first words you learned how to write. So it's one of the reasons why it's the sweetest sound. But ask about a person's name, they'll be flattered, especially unusual names.

Okay. I just want to make sure that as you're listening to Jim, you picked up on the fact that he has this acronym, suave. And suave is what we're using as the tool to help us remember someone's name. You said it kind of fast, Jim, so I'm just kind of slowing it down. For those of us who may not be as quick in the super brain as you are, the s is for say it. Got that? Makes sense. Say it as soon as they say their name. U is for use it. Which also makes sense cause the more you use it in a sentence without being creepy, the more you're likely to remember it. A ask about it. What does the v in suave stand for?

The v in suave is visualize, and this is how I do it in front of audiences. If there's time on stage, I'll have 30, 40, 50 people stand up, pass around a microphone, and I'll memorize words of 100 names, depending on how much time we have. But how I do it is I would just visualize the person's name, meaning most people listening are better with faces than they are with names. Right. You go to someone, say, I remember your face, but I'm sorry, I forgot your name. You never go to someone and say, I remember the opposite. I remember your name, but I forgot your face. Right. That doesn't happen. But your visual cortex takes up more real estate. And so we tend to remember what we see. And if we tend to remember what we see, try seeing what we want to remember. You meet someone for the first time and their name is Mary. Imagine for a split second that she's carrying two lambs underneath her arms. Mary had a little lamb. Right? You meet someone named David, just hit him in the nose with a slingshot. David and Goliath. Right. And people say, that's so childish, but that helps you to remember it because if you could see it, feel it and hear it, you're not going to forget it.

Got it.

Right. So you're hearing it, you're visualizing it, and you're making it kind of funny or ludicrous, and then you're not going to forget it. So a person's name is Mike. Imagine they jump on a table and sing on a microphone. And when you say goodbye to them, you're going to remember, oh, that was the guy that did that. What's his name? Mike. Right. The person's name is John. You could well picture whatever, whatever you picture, right? And then finally the e in suave stands for end. And the conversation saying goodbye, using their name. Because if you could walk into a room of strangers and leave saying, let's say 20 people and leave saying goodbye to every single one of them, who are they all going to remember? You. Right. And that's, that's an absolute standout. Standout skill.

It is a standout skill. And you know what? I love that end, which is the e in suave, is you end the interaction with somebody by saying the person's name. I mean, that's a fantastic tip that makes it stick. And I also love that he made it easy to remember by turning this little hack into an acronym. And I'm going to be so suave now. Say their name. Use their name, ask a question with their name, visualize and end with their name. And you just unleashed, boom, the power of your memory and built a better brain. I mean, how suave is that? I told you it was going to be as easy as pushing back your cuticles, and then I just proved it to you. So thanks, Jim. Quick. Next up, Doctor Daniel. Amen. Now, Doctor Amen is the number one brain doctor on the planet. Let me tell you a little bit about the Mel Robbins podcast alum Doctor Amen. He is a double board certified psychiatrist, a nine time New York Times bestselling author. I don't know where he has the time to write all these books because he is also the founder and medical director of Amen Clinics, which has done nearly 200,000 brain scans on patients from 111 countries, by the way, including my own brain and my husband Chris's brain.

And Doctor Amon is here today to tell you the exact habits and foods that make a healthy brain. Now, I want you to listen to his world class advice because here's what I asked him. I was like, Doctor Raymond, what are some of the microhabits that have the biggest impact on the health of your brain?

So I start every day with, today is going to be a great day because once you get the physical functioning of your brain healthy, you then have to program it. And so I knew I was going to talk to you first thing that came up in my mind. So I start every day. And if you have children, it's really good to do this at breakfast, which is if you have breakfast. So why is today going to be a great day for you? Directing your mind, which for many people, because of evolution, they wake up in a negative state. It puts your brain in a positive state. And then my favorite of all the habits I do is when I go to bed at night, I say a prayer, and then I go, what went well today? And I go on a treasure hunt. And I actually start from the very moment I woke up looking for what was right about the day. And I've done this now seven or eight years. And even the night my dad died, it was an awful, awful day. I did it because it was my habit, right? The brain is lazy.

It does what you nudge it to do. And so it really helped me, even in a really hard time. But it's almost my favorite time of the day because, like you, I'm busy and great things will happen and I'll just not really focus on it.

I love the idea of a treasure hunt, and there's no doubt that if you make it a habit to ask yourself every single night, what went wrong? Well, today, in fact, why not ask yourself that question as you're brushing your teeth. Why not clean your brain of all the negativity while you're cleaning your teeth, of all the crap that's on them. It's a simple habit for a better brain. And if you do it while you brush your teeth, what went well today? It's as fast as cleaning them. Now, I also asked doctor Amen about brain foods, and he has a list of five things that you should be eating for brain health. What are those five things? Well, they're so simple, it's almost like as simple as picking out a polish for your nails. And by the way, I love that analogy, because all of these things he wants you to eat are also quite colorful, like a nail polish. Here is doctor Amen to explain the food you should eat for a better brain.

Salmon. Especially wild salmon for the omega three fatty acids berries. But they have to be organic. That's very important. So I'm a huge fan of blueberries. I often call them Bran berries, but it's critical that they're organic. So people take blueberry extract. X has been shown to improve memory.

Okay.

Nuts and seeds. People who eat nuts and seeds on a regular basis have a lower incidence of depression and dementia. Leafy greens for the fiber and the magnesium. But my favorite one is raw cacao, or the main ingredient in chocolate. I want you to try this. I make brain healthy hot chocolate virtually every day.

How do you make it?

And so I get raw cacao. So for each serving, say, the serving is like 12oz heaping teaspoon of raw cacao, unsweetened organic almond milk. And you could do with other nut milks. But I like almond milk. And there's a company called sweet leaf that makes liquid chocolate stevia. And so I heat up the milk. I mix in the rock cacao. I put a couple of dropper bowls of chocolate stevia and put it in a blender. It tastes amazing. And it's part of the ritual I have for happiness in my life because, and this is very, a very important point, I only eat things I love that love me back. I mean, I don't know if you've ever been in a bad relationship. I have. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm, like, married with my best friend, and I'm damn sure not doing it with food I am not going to be in because people go, I love rocky road ice cream. Well, it beats you up. Or I love beer. Well, it shrinks your brand. And I'm like, no. Do I love it? Like, I love my brain healthy hot chocolate. And it loves me back.

So whatever you eat or whatever you do, I mean, we're in a relationship with what we eat and what we do. And is it a mutually positive relationship or is it destructive?

So salmon, berries, nuts, seeds, leafy greens, and raw cacao, eat those for a healthy brain. Now, I did not expect him to say hot chocolate is a brain food. Now I'm all in. And this episode just keeps getting better and better. Who knew that learning about your brain and how to take care of it could also be so fun? And it sure is better than going to the dentist, if you know what I mean. So let's spread the fun and share this with everyone that you love. You know, the first two people that come to mind who need to know how to take better care of their brains are my daughters. If they were to spend half the amount of time taking care of their brain, like they do with the amount of time they spend trying to make manicure appointments and figuring out what styles they're going to do, who knows what would happen? I'll tell you what would happen. They'd have a smarter, faster, healthier brain. Next up is a Harvard doctor on the show who unpacked the research about how alcohol impacts your brain and makes your memory worse. And her research is so compelling, and when you hear her share it and you truly understand the impact that alcohol has on brain function, you may feel way more motivated to stop drinking or at least cut way back.

Doctor Sarah Waichman is the senior medical director of substance use disorder at Harvard's Mass General Brigham. Now Harvard's mass general Brigham has been ranked as the number one research hospital in the world. She's an associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, and she is absolutely outstanding and how she explains the relationship between alcohol and your brain. And I really wanted you to hear this because if you're trying to improve your memory or get mental clarity back, this is going to be a wake up call for you. I asked her to describe how alcohol compromises your memory specifically, and here is what Doctor Waichman said.

Alcohol affects all parts of the brain, including the amygdala, which is an area that lays down memory. And it, you know, has complicated actions in the brain, so it increases sort of more slowing down hormones. So we think of it as a depressant because it sort of slows you down and relaxes you and it decreases more excitatory neurotransmitters in the short term because you're sort of, your consciousness is being affected. You won't be making new memories over the long term. Heavy alcohol use can actually cause dementia. It can cause severe memory problems. There's actually a unique condition that we only see with alcohol, generally, where the part of your brain that lays down new memories gets damaged. And people get basically an amnesia syndrome where they can't make new memories. So they can only remember things from the past, but they're unable to make any new memories. And that's a very extreme example, but we see it in the hospital, and it's really scary when it happens.

What do you see when you look at a brain where somebody's been a heavy drinker versus somebody that's occasional or very light?

We actually see brain damage on people who've had chronic heavy alcohol use over many years. So if you take a picture of the brain, like with a CAT scan or with an MRI, what we describe it as is volume loss. So, normally, you want to see a bigger, healthy, robust brain. And as you age and with types of dementia, one thing that we see is the brain starts to shrink. So, like, the actual functional parts of the brain are smaller. We see that process accelerated with heavy alcohol use so often. Take someone who's in their fifties who really shouldn't have volume loss of their brain at that age. But if they've been using alcohol at a very heavy amount for a long time, we'll often see their brain looks like a much older brain because of that shrinking. And then there are very extreme examples, like this rare memory condition, where we literally see that part of the brain and almost die. Like, you can see it light up, that it's been severely impacted.

That news is a little scary, right? I mean, when you really hear her explain it in medical terms. But if your heart is sinking right now for yourself or for someone that you love, I do want to remind you that your brain can get better. I mean, that's the coolest thing about your brain. And every single expert that you have met so far and every expert that we've had on the podcast, whether they're a medical doctor or a neuroscientist, agrees that your brain adapts to positive changes, which is why it's so important for you to start taking care of your brain the same way you brush your teeth every single day. And if you're sitting here feeling like, gosh, there's stuff I got to do, this is your sign to take a step toward that better brain today. And this information, by the way, isn't just for you. It's for everybody that you love. So, if you're tired of trying to get someone else to truly take a look at alcohol and the impact that it's having on their life. Just let Doctor Weakman explain what you just explained to you. All you got to do is share this episode and it could be the wake up call that the person that you love needed.

And I wanted to end with some also really good news because Doctor Waichman also shared something pretty extraordinary, which is when you cut back or stop drinking, there is a long list of immediate health benefits that you're going to feel. Check this out.

Yeah, you'll see a lot of really quick things. So when you'll sleep better and feel more restored, you may lose weight. There's a lot of calories in alcohol. So if your goal is to lose weight, you're drinking a ton of liquid calories. So you may find that that's better. You may find that your exercise capacity goes up because you're resting more and you're not having hangovers and you're able to exercise in a way that feels different. You may find that you're less irritable and more present for your loved ones, that your mood is actually better over time. Your skin might look better, you're less dehydrated, your hormones are more regulated, so you may have less acne. So all of those benefits you can often see in a very short time. And that can be reinforcing as you decide what you want your long term goals to look like, to really see what life is like with less or without alcohol.

I just feel better listening to Doctor Waichman tell me all the things that are going to improve. And I have promised since the beginning everything that you would learn today is going to be as easy as fussing with your nails. Simply cutting back on alcohol. One thing has all that benefit. I'm in. All right, next up, we're going to really switch gears now. In fact, you and I are going to speed it way up. Get ready to meet Professor Ferrari. Yep. I kid you not, that is his name and I'm not joking that Professor Ferrari is one of the world's leading researchers on the topic of procrastination. He is a renowned psychologist and professor of psychology at DePaul University. And once you learn the little shifts he's about to share with you, procrastination will never slow you down again. You and I are going to jump right into the interview, right after I ask doctor Ferrari, what is procrastination? Here's his answer.

Everything shows that procrastination is a maladaptive lifestyle. You know, there's that expression. If you want something to be done, you give it to a busy person. Why? That makes no sense. Why a busy person? Because the busy person values your time and values their time and knows that there are things that have to get done. All right, so this is not an adaptive strategy. Let me stop there and say, I'm not shaming or condemning anybody as a procrastinator. I'm going to show you how procrastination is a learned tendency, and that means you can unlearn it. So that's how I would define it. It's irrational. It prevents you from reaching your goal. Everybody procrastinates. But not everyone is a procrastinator.

What's the difference?

Thank you very much. 20% of adult men and women are chronic procrastinators. And as a research psychologist, those are the people I want to study. 20%. Now, you might say that's all Ferrari. That's higher than depression, substance abuse, panic attacks, alcoholism. Right. And yet we treat this humorously. I procrastinate. Well, do you procrastinate on one task? Then you are, then you procrastinate. Or do you procrastinate on a variety of things that makes you a procrastinator? 20% of men and women, no significant gender difference. 20% of people, all right. Will not RSVP on time and wait till the gage goes on empty before they get more gas or get the third bill before they pay it. You know, they're going to miss your birthday and your anniversary and Christmas, and you'll get the cards later if you get anything and all that. And they'll always have an excuse.

That's me. That's me.

Is this genetic? Are we just human nature? Are we born this way? No.

What?

No, we're not born progressive. Oh, yeah. Some people will say, well, there's nothing I can do about it. That's just who I am. You know, I'm just. I'm always. No, no. You know, you learned to be a procrastinator from who? You can unlearn it. Oh, from dads. But we'll get you dads first. Yeah. So you learn to be a procrastinator. All right. So you can unlearn it. That's very optimistic. That means you're not condemned this way. Yes. You can teach old dogs new tricks. You just use a different bone and it takes them longer, but you can unlearn it if you're born that way. If that's just who you are, then you're screwed a day, then it's over. Nothing I can do with it. And that's, unfortunately, too much of our culture is this way. Well, that's how they are. That's how people are. No, no, people can change. Let's be much more optimistic. Our culture reinforces procrastination. You know, we don't reward doing things early. We punish for being late. In our culture, if I don't pay my bills on time, I get a fine. I get an extra charge on my credit card.

If you're like me and my wife in our 39 years of marriage, we pay ahead of time all the time. I get the bill. I pay it because I don't. I just want to get rid of it. All right, all right. So at the end of the year, did they ever come back and say, thank you very much, here's a little extra gift. Here's 2%. No. Our cultures don't reward us for doing things ahead of time. They punish us for being late.

What are the causes of procrastination?

Fears. I'm afraid of failure. See, if I never finish, I can never be judged. So I'm afraid of failure. Let me explain what I'm talking about, okay? If I take my time doing something, if I don't meet the deadline and I delay, then I can simply say, you know, I didn't have enough time. I know this is not the best thing. This is as good as I can get it, but if I had more time, I would have done better. So lack of effort is not a positive image, but it's a better image than I did it, and it's a piece of garbage, you know, if you put something together. So people would rather have other people think that they lack effort. Hence, I procrastinate than lack ability. Cause I can't change ability the next time, I can try harder.

And so for a person who really is aching because they are, in their own way, they see themselves sabotaging, what can somebody do in their own life after hearing this? What are the baby steps?

Start small. This is what cognitive therapists would ask you to do. What would be the worst scenario? First of all, what you're doing is you're looking at the forest, and you're missing that the forest is made up of trees.

Okay?

You know, there's that old expression, don't miss the forest because you're focused on the trees. That's not the procrastinators problem. It's the other way around. They see the forest. Oh, my God. This is a huge task. Holy cow, I can't get all of this done. And they forget that the forest is made up of trees. So, listener, viewer. All right, it's made up of trees. And so what if you cut down one tree at a time? Oh, that's too much for you. Then let's give me three branches. You can't do three branches. I'll take a handful of leaves because the body in motion stays in motion. Start small, do something. And so what if you fail?

Don't you just love his passion and conviction? And I just wanted to take though a highlighter and highlight a few things because he does move fast, like a Ferrari. First of all, you were not born a procrastinator. Don't you love knowing that your brain can unlearn the habit of procrastination? And to me, this is a very, very empowering message. And I have seen this play out in my own life. I used to be a huge procrastinator. I had no idea what to do about it. I thought I was just stuck being that way. And this is something you can change. And so I'm totally with Doctor Ferrari on this. It is true. You can train your brain to get things done on time. You can train yourself to chip away at it. Second, I want to make sure, though, to really highlight this metaphor that he used so that it lands for you. Okay? Because he was talking about the forest and the trees and just to make sure that it really sticks. This is the way I think about it. The forest is the outcome. It's the thing you want to achieve. And when you think about the outcome, it's easy to get overwhelmed.

And that's what makes procrastination kick in. You want to think about the action. That's the singular tree. It's the what do I need to wake up and do today? And I'm going to give you a couple examples. Because focusing on what you need to do today helps your brain beat procrastination. Here's how this works. So, for example, if you want a beach body, just do arm exercises today. Do not get overwhelmed with trying to lose 30 pounds and getting cut and what's going to happen way down the line. Because when you look far out at the forest, the research says it kills your motivation to keep going. That's why you have to just wake up and focus on what's in front of you today, that singular treat, that singular action, and completely forget about where it's going in the bigger picture. If you want to get ahead at work here's, another example. And earn that promotion. Stop freaking out about the bigger. When is this going to happen?

What's going on?

It gets you so overwhelmed that you don't do anything right. I want you instead. Focus on the one thing you can do today. One thing you could do today. You could have a conversation today with your boss about the fact that you do want to grow with the organization and ask, what do you need to do to make that happen? That's one tree. And that's one way to move forward instead of paralyzing yourself by looking at the bigger picture. If you want to move, here's another example. You've always dreamt of moving somewhere else. Stop like thinking about what it's going to be like a year from now. Just take one action today. Research a place that you've always thought about living and don't feel like you have to go there. Don't feel like you have to figure it all out at once. Because when you focus on the tree, the one action you're taking today and you forget about everything else around it helps your mind calm down and it keeps procrastination from slowing you down. Because the key here, what you're learning from the fast doctor Ferrari, is do not allow yourself to get overwhelmed by the bigger picture.

Because it's when you're overwhelmed and your wheels are spinning, that procrastination kicks in. Just focus on the simple action that you can take today. And that is how you can use your brain to never, ever let procrastination slow you down. Pretty cool, right? I am loving this. And we have already covered so much. You've learned how to improve your memory. You've learned what foods you can eat in order to improve the overall health and functioning of your brain. You've learned how to use your brain to beat procrastination. You've also learned about the benefit of cutting back on alcohol and the immediate health impact that it can have. Next up, self talk. You know that little voice in the back of your head? I mean, imagine if it were possible, just like you can brush the gunk off your teeth, that you could brush the negativity from your brain. I mean, just imagine that. Well, our next expert says that is exactly what you can do. Doctor Paul Conti is a renowned psychiatrist that trained at Stanford and Harvard. And the way he taught us about the brain, it has stuck with me ever since I met him months ago.

Doctor Conti is an expert on trauma which is connected to the subconscious mind and your self talk. He's the author of the bestselling book Trauma and the Invisible Epidemic. In fact, Lady Gaga credits Doctor Conti with, quote, single handedly changing her life. He is her psychiatrist now. Doctor Conti made a huge impression on me when he was on the Mel Robbins podcast and spoke about how to train your brain to have better self talk. And I want you to listen to what he has to say because, yes, improving your memory is really important. Eating the right brain food, very important. But it's going to be a whole lot easier to start doing those things, to take care of yourself and following through if you feel like you're worth it. And that's where your self talk comes in. Your self talk is tied to motivation. It's tied to self worth. It's tied to everything. Which is why it's essential that you learn these simple daily habits that help you clean it up and make it more powerful and positive. Now, before Doctor Conti tells you how to do that, I first want to start with him explaining exactly what the voice in the back of your head is.

And here's what he said.

There's often a sort of running dialog or set of opinions inside of us that are in the background to our experience of life in the present. And this can make a huge difference to how we respond to life in the present, how we think about ourselves and how we think about the world around us, that there's a lot more going on inside of us than what we're taking in at the moment. Very often it paints with a broad brush, or if it's not painting with a broad brush, it'll come at the thing that is most distressing to us. So the broad brush part could be just saying, oh, I'm a loser. Or even sometimes we see ourselves in the third person. You're a loser, you'll never make it, you're just not good enough. Or no one's going to want me. No one's going to want you. We're talking to ourselves, and it's painting with a very, very broad brush that is really striking to the core. It's hard to argue with something like that because it's so pervasive. So instead of arguing with it, the idea is to recognize it and reject it.

How do you do that?

Broad brush is so important to realize because it will impact absolutely everything. It's not so broad brushed, and often it'll come at the thing that we most want. You'll never have a better job, or your relationship will never be better. You'll never find anyone, you'll never reconcile with certain family member, you know, whatever it may be, you'll never be healthy or you'll never lose weight. You'll never be in better shape, whatever it may be that thus comes at us. And if you imagine, I mean, imagine that someone shadowed a person all day and just whispered in their. Hear in their ear the worst possible thing, you know, we would be distraught. I mean, it's someone to follow someone around and just tell them that all day, but we can do that to ourselves. And that's not an exaggeration of, like, what would it be like to have someone following behind, doing that all day and going through and exploring some of that when we can reflect on, get a handle on, wait, what is going on inside of me? And it starts with curiosity. I think the starting place is always just a curiosity about ourselves.

And a lot of times, just as a person doesn't want to go look at the trauma, why do I want to go look at that thing that makes me nervous or that works very strongly against our curiosity about ourselves. And if we are sort of free to be curious about ourselves, it's not dangerous or threatening to be curious about ourselves. There's so much that we can learn. So just an example can be, what is my self talk like? What do I say to myself right in quiet moments? What do I say to myself if I do something wrong? What do I say to myself if I drop something? What do I say to myself if I approach a new social situation or a new challenge? So we become curious about what we can become curious about what is going on inside of us. And now we start to put words to things. And sometimes we can do that. We can do it sometimes just by thinking. But what we think can kind of go over and over again sometimes in our mind, without being super productive. It's not always like that, but when we put it outside of us, it's different.

Which is why, if we're talking to someone that can make a difference, a trusted other, about, hey, I was thinking about, you know, like, I'm saying this to myself over and over. I realize it's been going on to me for years. Or can we. Can we say that to someone else? Or can we write it? You know, writing it down? Journaling can make a big difference in that way. And the talking to another person can involve a therapist. So I very often will want people to understand, we can change this, but it's going to take us. I'm not sure. I might say it's probably going to be in the four to six month range. We can really get our arms around this. And I want and hope that things can start improving a couple weeks down the road. But it's a several month process. Let the person know that because so often there's just a reflex that says, hey, somebody threw a medicine at you. And that medicine is supposed to make you better, let alone if it's like a couple therapy sessions. And that's supposed to make a person better. We need a rational framing for what's going on inside of us and, and to plot out how do we actually get to change.

You know, one of the things that I love about Doctor Conti is that don't you just trust him like that? I don't know if it's tone of his voice or just the way he explains things, but he's so honest and realistic. And if you try this strategy once and then you don't feel good immediately, you're gonna give up. And so I think it's super important that you understand that, yeah, you're going to feel better within weeks. It'll really stick within months. But this is something that you can do every single day that's super fast and simple. That's going to have a big impact. And that's sort of like all the advice from every single doctor and medical expert on the show today, that there is this hope that's underlying all of it. That, yes, you can build a better brain. And based on what you just learned from Doctor Conti, that if you truly practice this every single day, just like you brush your teeth every single day, within a few months you can heal this pattern of negative self talk and clean your brain, make it more positive. You know, in fact, it reminds me of our son Oakley.

He's going to kill me for telling you this. But in elementary school, he literally barely brushed his teeth. I mean, we used to beg him, dude, you got to brush your teeth. And his older sisters, they would tease him about it because they were like, dude, your teeth are like yellow and disgusting dusting. And then all of a sudden it was like, I don't know if it was middle school or what. He just decided that it mattered to him to take care of his teeth. And all it took was a couple months of daily brushing. And all of a sudden he's got the brightest, cleanest, most beautiful choppers you've ever seen. Doctor Conti is here to say your brain works the same way. You can clean it up, you can make it brighter and more positive. And it just goes to show you that every single one of these experts has told you your brain can change. And when you change the way you talk to yourself, you clean up that self talk. You literally open a door to an entirely new world. And I so want that for you. Well, doctor Conce was far from done when we had him on the podcast.

And there was something else that I really wanted you to hear. And it's all about, you know, why we have these patterns of self sabotage. And I think you will find this metaphor that Doctor Conti and I discuss so helpful. As you make it your mission to stop your negative self talk, too.

We can start feeling better, doing better, emboldening ourselves, just by doing small, nice things for ourselves and for other people. It may sound trite, but it is not to a good hand. Say if you're in that line at the coffee shop and somebody drops something to pick it up for them, or to give them a smile, or do something nicer for ourselves, because we often self punish, and if I don't feel bad about myself, I'll just walk that distance in the rain instead of putting an umbrella up. We do a lot of these things to ourselves where we could just, in the moment, just be nicer to ourselves, more considerate to ourselves and to others. And that starts empowering and emboldening us to do that, to see there's enough good in me that I can give somebody a smile, I can give somebody a helping hand, or I can even be a little nicer to myself. And it may sound small or trite, but I promise that it is not. And it's often that that gets the ball rolling towards something maybe more difficult, like looking at something that I know is on my mind a lot, but I've been scared to look at.

I think we can start instead. Simple way, simple goodness to self and others.

That example of putting an umbrella up was so poignant because I think of how many times I've had an umbrella and I've just been like, no, it's okay. I carry the umbrella, I walk a couple blocks, I pop my collar, I start a hunch down, and I take the drops. And that moment where you stop and put up the umbrella.

Right.

It is important. And I keep thinking about this visual of the raindrops being like the negative beatdown.

Yeah.

And the act of popping up the umbrella as a way to just have yourself, not have to hear it.

Yeah.

I really do love that because, you know, sometimes we'll say I hell with it, you know, like, but like the idea I get the umbrella out, but to hell with it. No, no, that's actually to hell with, with me.

Yeah.

Right.

So we want to stop and think. Like, well, if I'm thinking, to hell with it, what am I really thinking? To hell with me. I'm not worth getting the umbrella out. Right. And it's, it's, it's awareness like that. No, I'm going to stop and I'm going to do that. I'm not going to say the hell with it. To hell with me. I'm going to, I'm going to make some protection, make it just, you make a little bit more pleasantness or anything positive for myself. And I love that way of then the umbrella is shielding us from, you know, the negativity because we've had the wherewithal inside of ourselves to do something small but meaningful for ourselves. Yeah, I think that's, that's a powerful way to move that example forward. I like that.

I just love that. I want you to keep that image of an umbrella in your mind when you're training your brain to cheer you on rather than beating you down. I mean, it's so powerful and it's going to help you stay curious, like Doctor Conti suggested, as you examine those thoughts so you can let them go. And when you change your self talk, you will be a happier person. And on that topic, our next expert says that one of the most important things your brain can do for you is help you be happier. I mean, that is a superpower that is right in your brain that you are about to learn today. And that's why I'm so excited about this next expert. Sean Achor is a friend. He's a New York Times best selling author of the Happiness Advantage and Big Potential. His happiness advantage training is one of the largest and most successful positive psychology training programs in the world. And he's here today to give you the most beautiful metaphor about happiness and to let you know that there's always more happiness available to you, in fact, way more than you think. Here's Sean Achor giving you a major reframe on how to think about happiness.

You know, we get so focused upon, you know, whether or not a glass is half full or half empty, right? And then we decide our happiness based upon that, right. Optimism or pessimism. But I've always had this idea, like this picture in my head of we're so focused on this glass being half full or half empty, but ignoring that there's a pitcher of water sitting right next to it that we could fill it up with. Right. And we're trying to determine whether or not, you know, our current life is where we want it to be. And I would say it isn't. And I think in many ways, we all have a. Have a disordered life where we put the wrong things to the top or think the wrong things will create greater levels of happiness. And what we're finding is that when we do these habits and when we care and let other people in, care for and let other people in, we're filling up that glass, and that glass does not look like it did the day before.

Yeah, that's great. Okay, so what are the habits that you're teaching people around the world, Sean?

We get people to write down each day for two minutes three new things that they're grateful for that have occurred over the past 24 hours. And we don't let them repeat for 21 days in a row. So that it's not what you're grateful for the matters, it's the scanning. We also got people to go on a 15 minutes brisk walk four to five times a week, which we found is the equivalent of taking an antidepressant for the first six months, for the next two years as a 30% lower relapse rate back to that depressed state. We find that if you take your hands off your keyboard for two minutes today and just watch your breath go in and out, you're training your brain to do one thing at a time. And 21 days later, not only are your accuracy rates improving by 10%, the levels of happiness rise, stress levels drop, and the cortisol levels of the people that are around you change. So their stress levels are dropping as well. So you're literally changing other people's biochemical patterns based upon your habits. And finally, we've got people to write a two minute positive email each day praising or thanking one new person, a different person each day for 21 days in a row.

So just thanking them for something or praising them for something, a weak tire or strong tie, but 21 days later, we find that it dramatically improves the greatest predictor of your long term levels of happiness, which is your social connection score.

Boom. That's not just the happiness advantage, people. Those are the happiness actions. And I'm telling you, based on the research, the man is right. You got to do it. I always say, Sean, this is not just a listening podcast. This is a fucking doing podcast. So do those things for 21 days, and I think you will be shocked at how the needle moves. Or as Sean likes to say, you swing in a new direction. And, Sean, anything else? That you want everyone to know.

Accept where you are right now, but realize that this is not the end of the story. So I believe that change is radically possible from our genes and environment. When we change our mindset and change our behavior and we link in with other people as well.

I believe that incredible change is possible, too. And what you're learning today is your brain is just waiting for you to give it a nudge in the right direction. It wants you to take care of it and feed it the right foods and help it learn new skills. That's what it's made for. And after our conversation today, you now have the tools to get started. I promised you that absolutely everything that you learned today would help you build a better, sharper, stronger and happier brain. I truly hope that everything that you learned from these six extraordinary experts not only empowered you, but they've motivated you to put it to use in your own life. Because I see a bigger possibility for you. And the second you start taking better care of your brain, you'll see it too. And one more thing, in case no one else tells you, I wanted to tell you that I love you. And I believe in you. And I believe in your power to create a better life. And what you've learned today is that a better life begins with taking better care of your brain. And after everything that you've learned, you now know exactly what to do to do that.

Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a few days. And for you on YouTube, I wanted to make sure to tell you in case no one else tells you, that I love you. And I believe in you. And I believe in your power to create a better life. And after what you've learned today, it's really clear that taking better care of your brain will create a better life. So I hope you not only use everything that you learned and you put it to use, but you share this with people that you love. Okay? And if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to subscribe. It's how I know you enjoyed it. It also helps me bring you more videos and world class experts like we did today. Takes just 1 second. Thanks for doing that. And I know you're thinking, oh, my God, I loved it, I loved it. I loved it. I would love more. Great. Then I want you to check out this video where Dr. Amon is giving you his top three habits for optimizing your amazing brain. Check it out.