So first of all, I literally have struggled with anxiety my entire life. And anxiety for this conversation, the way I define it, is it is the habit of worrying spiraled out of control. You may say that you are a worrier. That's not true. You have a habit of worrying. A habit is a pattern of behavior or thinking that you repeat without realizing it. So anxiety happens when that pattern of worrying about things spirals out of control, and now it starts to marry and manifest itself with physical sensations, too. That's all that it is. I know that. I say, That's all that it is. Me, personally, I struggled with anxiety, I think my entire life. It became quite acute when I was in my late teens and early 20s. I became medicated in the middle of law school. I took Zoloff for two decades. When our first daughter was born, who is now 17, the postpartum depression and the cascading panic was so terrible that not only was I medicated and couldn't breastfeed, but I couldn't be left alone with her. So when I say you can cure yourself of anxiety, I don't say that lightly.

Four years ago, after I had been using the five-second rule to change my behavior, how I spoke to my husband How I negotiate in business meetings, how I conduct sales, the parent that I am, my health habits, my eating habits, curbing the drinking, I thought, I wonder if I can use this 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 thing to get control of my thought patterns, not my behavior patterns, my thought patterns. Yes, you can. So we're going to build this conversation because I want to start with something we can all relate to, and that is how do you stop worrying? And how do you stop listening to self-doubt? This is how you're going to do it. So all day long, you're going to have moments where your thoughts drift. And I use that word on purpose, because for me, there is a physical sensation when you start to use the five-second rule and you start to wake up, not only on time in the morning, but you wake up to your life and the opportunities in your life. Your thoughts drift. Youoptimistic. This is great news. Worry is a hackable thing, and I'm going to use a ton of science and proven experience to show you just how to hack it using one magical tool. Here's the great news. Once you learn how worry starts, you can use that knowledge to make it stop.You can practice this magical tool every day to quiet your mind. Just imagine that. A quiet mind. Wow. I know exactly how you feel. I I know how exhausting and frustrating it is to constantly be trapped in the grinding cycle of worrying about everything. How do I know this? I lived it. I've always been worried. I mean, if you could be a baby that worries, that was me. I'm sure at 11 months, when my mom was running late to heat up my pureed carrots and potatoes, I was probably thinking, Is she coming back? Where is she? I'm starving. I mean, I might just starve to death here. I think she hates me. She's left. Maybe she's angry about the face I made as I tried the pureed snowpees for lunch. Oh my gosh, what do I do? I have to find a new family to feed me. How am I going to find my new family? I got no connections, no money. I'm wearing a diaper. I can't even walk yet. I'm going to starve to death in the next 24 hours. That was Baby Mel. And that was just the beginning. I was just warming up for a life of worry on a very elite professional level.As a little kid, I I was worried about everything, from the teacher's reaction to whether or not the kid in the stall next to me was going to hear me fart. When I got to middle school, it was all about whether or not my tough skin jeans were cool or my acne or my new perm that I immediately regretded. When I was in college, I was worried if I studied enough for the test, if I was going to flunk out, if I was going to go blind from the green alcohol I drank from the garbage can at that frat party. I worried if I had enough gas in the car to get to the grocery store. The truth about worrying is once you let it start to spin, it just spins out of control. I'm sure you know this. I mean, worry has tormented me. Since I was a kid, it tormented me as a teen in my 20s, my 30s, hell, my 40s. And if I can go from having this worry as my torture as default and learn how to interrupt it and redirect it and program a positive mind, you can, too.Here's exactly what you need to do about worry and overth. Here's the magical tool I want to share with you. And I got to give you a warning. This is going to sound so simple. You might even start worrying that it's not going to work. That's why I have strung along this episode like it's an infomercial about worrying because the solution is so simple, and it has to be. When it comes to your habit of worrying, you already overcomplicate everything. If I give you three steps to remember, you won't do any of them. That's how good you are at worrying. I need you to have something simple. So I've come up with this incredible way to do hand-to-hand combat with your worrying mind. Are you ready? Good. The second you catch yourself worrying, when you feel your mind spin, when you feel your shoulders pinch up towards your ears like new earrings, and you feel your jaw clench, and wait, there's more, you feel yourself starting to get heavy and paralyzed and defeated, and those worries start to spin in your mind, here's exactly what you're going to do. It's just six magical words. It encapsulates incredible research.It's so simple. You can do it. And don't worry, it's going to work. Here are the six magical words you're going to say to yourself every time you worry. What if it all works out? That's it. What if it all works out? Look, I know what you're thinking. You feel let down right now. That's because you're worried it's not going to work. But what if it all works out? What if these simple, stupid six words actually work? What if trying this works out? You just heard me say the words, What if it all works out? And you know what your response was? Well, I don't think it's going to work out. That's why I'm worrying. You got to trust me on this. Your worries sound just as dumb as this magical tool does. You have just listened to your worry for so long that you believe it. Now, I said this was hand-to-hand combat. You don't just throw one punch, you're going to have to keep on punching. Every time one of your stupid worries pop into your head, What if I don't get the apartment? What if I don't lose the weight? What if I don't get the raise?What if I look stupid in my first day of work? What if nobody ever loves me? What if a swamp monster kills me? You need to punch those stupid worries in the face with six magical words because this simple question breaks the pattern of worrying. Because if you think about worrying, worrying always begins with what if. In fact, my daughter used to call her worries the what if loop. I feel like I'm trapped in a what if loop, mom. Well, guess what? You're trapped in a what if loop, too. So you need just one fast, perfectly placed, boom, counterpunch. You need the same punch for every worry. So you get really good at punching every worry in the face. And that punch Which is, what if it all works out? That's the counterpunch you need to knock absolutely any worry and all over thinking away. It's pretty incredible. I'm here to tell you in those moments when you get trapped in this, what if this? What if that? And you start spinning, you got to stop it. And the fastest way to stop the spinning is to say, Well, what if it all works out?What if I get the apartment? What if I pass the test? What if the doctor says something and it's okay? What if he doesn't break up with me? What if he breaks up with me and it all works out? What if I get bad news and it all works out and I'm okay? It's a way to get back the feeling of control. You see, the research shows that when you feel out of control, your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain behind your forehead, the part that's in charge of organizing information and making decisions, it basically stops working when you feel out of And that's why it's so hard to make decisions, and it'And I know that it's just my body reacting to all this change. It's some stored experience that is coming up. I've been working so hard on not freaking out when I feel it, but turning toward it.As a medical doctor and a neuroscientist and somebody who has struggled with anxiety for 30 years, why is turning toward this alarm the answer in that moment? Tell me what happens when you turn toward it with the mom, I'm like, I hope my mother doesn't listen to this episode because I even feel guilty for admitting that we are a mismatch or are a mismatch. Sometimes my mom calls culmination of your sixth grade year. And I am so freaked out that something bad is going to happen. That I, of course, escalate things in my own mind. I don't even feel like I'm at camp. I feel like I'm walking on a movie set.I don't feel had no choice. Yeah. And one of the hardest things, which became one of the greatest realizations, is truly coming face to face with myself and realizing that even though I have done all this work to heal trauma, even though I have done extraordinary ordinary things in terms of my own thinking patterns, that there was a level to which I was still on the run, that I was darting off to a coffee shop or darting off to Target or darting off to an airplane And all of this racing around kept me from having to truly stop and stand with the woman in the mirror and just be still and figure out, well, what do I really want?How do I really we want to feel? You talk about the topic of distraction and procrastination, and it's rarely in this context, but it sounds like a form of distraction, distracting yourself from taking a moment to confront thyself and to really ask some of those questions, which I guess if you're in a fight or survival state, the answer to some of those questions might be maybe illuminating to a vulnerable, to an extent which will make you feel vulnerable and unsafe, because those are pretty existential questions to ask yourself, to look yourself and say, who am I and what do I want? And how do I get it? It's much easier, as you say, just to be swept by the tide. And that's a form of short term defense. It feels like a short termist will just get to tomorrow. Some people go through their lives doing that, right? Oh, I was. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family.I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

optimistic. This is great news. Worry is a hackable thing, and I'm going to use a ton of science and proven experience to show you just how to hack it using one magical tool. Here's the great news. Once you learn how worry starts, you can use that knowledge to make it stop.

You can practice this magical tool every day to quiet your mind. Just imagine that. A quiet mind. Wow. I know exactly how you feel. I I know how exhausting and frustrating it is to constantly be trapped in the grinding cycle of worrying about everything. How do I know this? I lived it. I've always been worried. I mean, if you could be a baby that worries, that was me. I'm sure at 11 months, when my mom was running late to heat up my pureed carrots and potatoes, I was probably thinking, Is she coming back? Where is she? I'm starving. I mean, I might just starve to death here. I think she hates me. She's left. Maybe she's angry about the face I made as I tried the pureed snowpees for lunch. Oh my gosh, what do I do? I have to find a new family to feed me. How am I going to find my new family? I got no connections, no money. I'm wearing a diaper. I can't even walk yet. I'm going to starve to death in the next 24 hours. That was Baby Mel. And that was just the beginning. I was just warming up for a life of worry on a very elite professional level.

As a little kid, I I was worried about everything, from the teacher's reaction to whether or not the kid in the stall next to me was going to hear me fart. When I got to middle school, it was all about whether or not my tough skin jeans were cool or my acne or my new perm that I immediately regretded. When I was in college, I was worried if I studied enough for the test, if I was going to flunk out, if I was going to go blind from the green alcohol I drank from the garbage can at that frat party. I worried if I had enough gas in the car to get to the grocery store. The truth about worrying is once you let it start to spin, it just spins out of control. I'm sure you know this. I mean, worry has tormented me. Since I was a kid, it tormented me as a teen in my 20s, my 30s, hell, my 40s. And if I can go from having this worry as my torture as default and learn how to interrupt it and redirect it and program a positive mind, you can, too.

Here's exactly what you need to do about worry and overth. Here's the magical tool I want to share with you. And I got to give you a warning. This is going to sound so simple. You might even start worrying that it's not going to work. That's why I have strung along this episode like it's an infomercial about worrying because the solution is so simple, and it has to be. When it comes to your habit of worrying, you already overcomplicate everything. If I give you three steps to remember, you won't do any of them. That's how good you are at worrying. I need you to have something simple. So I've come up with this incredible way to do hand-to-hand combat with your worrying mind. Are you ready? Good. The second you catch yourself worrying, when you feel your mind spin, when you feel your shoulders pinch up towards your ears like new earrings, and you feel your jaw clench, and wait, there's more, you feel yourself starting to get heavy and paralyzed and defeated, and those worries start to spin in your mind, here's exactly what you're going to do. It's just six magical words. It encapsulates incredible research.

It's so simple. You can do it. And don't worry, it's going to work. Here are the six magical words you're going to say to yourself every time you worry. What if it all works out? That's it. What if it all works out? Look, I know what you're thinking. You feel let down right now. That's because you're worried it's not going to work. But what if it all works out? What if these simple, stupid six words actually work? What if trying this works out? You just heard me say the words, What if it all works out? And you know what your response was? Well, I don't think it's going to work out. That's why I'm worrying. You got to trust me on this. Your worries sound just as dumb as this magical tool does. You have just listened to your worry for so long that you believe it. Now, I said this was hand-to-hand combat. You don't just throw one punch, you're going to have to keep on punching. Every time one of your stupid worries pop into your head, What if I don't get the apartment? What if I don't lose the weight? What if I don't get the raise?

What if I look stupid in my first day of work? What if nobody ever loves me? What if a swamp monster kills me? You need to punch those stupid worries in the face with six magical words because this simple question breaks the pattern of worrying. Because if you think about worrying, worrying always begins with what if. In fact, my daughter used to call her worries the what if loop. I feel like I'm trapped in a what if loop, mom. Well, guess what? You're trapped in a what if loop, too. So you need just one fast, perfectly placed, boom, counterpunch. You need the same punch for every worry. So you get really good at punching every worry in the face. And that punch Which is, what if it all works out? That's the counterpunch you need to knock absolutely any worry and all over thinking away. It's pretty incredible. I'm here to tell you in those moments when you get trapped in this, what if this? What if that? And you start spinning, you got to stop it. And the fastest way to stop the spinning is to say, Well, what if it all works out?

What if I get the apartment? What if I pass the test? What if the doctor says something and it's okay? What if he doesn't break up with me? What if he breaks up with me and it all works out? What if I get bad news and it all works out and I'm okay? It's a way to get back the feeling of control. You see, the research shows that when you feel out of control, your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain behind your forehead, the part that's in charge of organizing information and making decisions, it basically stops working when you feel out of And that's why it's so hard to make decisions, and it'And I know that it's just my body reacting to all this change. It's some stored experience that is coming up. I've been working so hard on not freaking out when I feel it, but turning toward it.As a medical doctor and a neuroscientist and somebody who has struggled with anxiety for 30 years, why is turning toward this alarm the answer in that moment? Tell me what happens when you turn toward it with the mom, I'm like, I hope my mother doesn't listen to this episode because I even feel guilty for admitting that we are a mismatch or are a mismatch. Sometimes my mom calls culmination of your sixth grade year. And I am so freaked out that something bad is going to happen. That I, of course, escalate things in my own mind. I don't even feel like I'm at camp. I feel like I'm walking on a movie set.I don't feel had no choice. Yeah. And one of the hardest things, which became one of the greatest realizations, is truly coming face to face with myself and realizing that even though I have done all this work to heal trauma, even though I have done extraordinary ordinary things in terms of my own thinking patterns, that there was a level to which I was still on the run, that I was darting off to a coffee shop or darting off to Target or darting off to an airplane And all of this racing around kept me from having to truly stop and stand with the woman in the mirror and just be still and figure out, well, what do I really want?How do I really we want to feel? You talk about the topic of distraction and procrastination, and it's rarely in this context, but it sounds like a form of distraction, distracting yourself from taking a moment to confront thyself and to really ask some of those questions, which I guess if you're in a fight or survival state, the answer to some of those questions might be maybe illuminating to a vulnerable, to an extent which will make you feel vulnerable and unsafe, because those are pretty existential questions to ask yourself, to look yourself and say, who am I and what do I want? And how do I get it? It's much easier, as you say, just to be swept by the tide. And that's a form of short term defense. It feels like a short termist will just get to tomorrow. Some people go through their lives doing that, right? Oh, I was. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family.I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

And I know that it's just my body reacting to all this change. It's some stored experience that is coming up. I've been working so hard on not freaking out when I feel it, but turning toward it.

As a medical doctor and a neuroscientist and somebody who has struggled with anxiety for 30 years, why is turning toward this alarm the answer in that moment? Tell me what happens when you turn toward it with the mom, I'm like, I hope my mother doesn't listen to this episode because I even feel guilty for admitting that we are a mismatch or are a mismatch. Sometimes my mom calls culmination of your sixth grade year. And I am so freaked out that something bad is going to happen. That I, of course, escalate things in my own mind. I don't even feel like I'm at camp. I feel like I'm walking on a movie set.I don't feel had no choice. Yeah. And one of the hardest things, which became one of the greatest realizations, is truly coming face to face with myself and realizing that even though I have done all this work to heal trauma, even though I have done extraordinary ordinary things in terms of my own thinking patterns, that there was a level to which I was still on the run, that I was darting off to a coffee shop or darting off to Target or darting off to an airplane And all of this racing around kept me from having to truly stop and stand with the woman in the mirror and just be still and figure out, well, what do I really want?How do I really we want to feel? You talk about the topic of distraction and procrastination, and it's rarely in this context, but it sounds like a form of distraction, distracting yourself from taking a moment to confront thyself and to really ask some of those questions, which I guess if you're in a fight or survival state, the answer to some of those questions might be maybe illuminating to a vulnerable, to an extent which will make you feel vulnerable and unsafe, because those are pretty existential questions to ask yourself, to look yourself and say, who am I and what do I want? And how do I get it? It's much easier, as you say, just to be swept by the tide. And that's a form of short term defense. It feels like a short termist will just get to tomorrow. Some people go through their lives doing that, right? Oh, I was. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family.I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

with the mom, I'm like, I hope my mother doesn't listen to this episode because I even feel guilty for admitting that we are a mismatch or are a mismatch. Sometimes my mom calls culmination of your sixth grade year. And I am so freaked out that something bad is going to happen. That I, of course, escalate things in my own mind. I don't even feel like I'm at camp. I feel like I'm walking on a movie set.I don't feel had no choice. Yeah. And one of the hardest things, which became one of the greatest realizations, is truly coming face to face with myself and realizing that even though I have done all this work to heal trauma, even though I have done extraordinary ordinary things in terms of my own thinking patterns, that there was a level to which I was still on the run, that I was darting off to a coffee shop or darting off to Target or darting off to an airplane And all of this racing around kept me from having to truly stop and stand with the woman in the mirror and just be still and figure out, well, what do I really want?How do I really we want to feel? You talk about the topic of distraction and procrastination, and it's rarely in this context, but it sounds like a form of distraction, distracting yourself from taking a moment to confront thyself and to really ask some of those questions, which I guess if you're in a fight or survival state, the answer to some of those questions might be maybe illuminating to a vulnerable, to an extent which will make you feel vulnerable and unsafe, because those are pretty existential questions to ask yourself, to look yourself and say, who am I and what do I want? And how do I get it? It's much easier, as you say, just to be swept by the tide. And that's a form of short term defense. It feels like a short termist will just get to tomorrow. Some people go through their lives doing that, right? Oh, I was. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family.I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

culmination of your sixth grade year. And I am so freaked out that something bad is going to happen. That I, of course, escalate things in my own mind. I don't even feel like I'm at camp. I feel like I'm walking on a movie set.

I don't feel had no choice. Yeah. And one of the hardest things, which became one of the greatest realizations, is truly coming face to face with myself and realizing that even though I have done all this work to heal trauma, even though I have done extraordinary ordinary things in terms of my own thinking patterns, that there was a level to which I was still on the run, that I was darting off to a coffee shop or darting off to Target or darting off to an airplane And all of this racing around kept me from having to truly stop and stand with the woman in the mirror and just be still and figure out, well, what do I really want?How do I really we want to feel? You talk about the topic of distraction and procrastination, and it's rarely in this context, but it sounds like a form of distraction, distracting yourself from taking a moment to confront thyself and to really ask some of those questions, which I guess if you're in a fight or survival state, the answer to some of those questions might be maybe illuminating to a vulnerable, to an extent which will make you feel vulnerable and unsafe, because those are pretty existential questions to ask yourself, to look yourself and say, who am I and what do I want? And how do I get it? It's much easier, as you say, just to be swept by the tide. And that's a form of short term defense. It feels like a short termist will just get to tomorrow. Some people go through their lives doing that, right? Oh, I was. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family.I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

had no choice. Yeah. And one of the hardest things, which became one of the greatest realizations, is truly coming face to face with myself and realizing that even though I have done all this work to heal trauma, even though I have done extraordinary ordinary things in terms of my own thinking patterns, that there was a level to which I was still on the run, that I was darting off to a coffee shop or darting off to Target or darting off to an airplane And all of this racing around kept me from having to truly stop and stand with the woman in the mirror and just be still and figure out, well, what do I really want?

How do I really we want to feel? You talk about the topic of distraction and procrastination, and it's rarely in this context, but it sounds like a form of distraction, distracting yourself from taking a moment to confront thyself and to really ask some of those questions, which I guess if you're in a fight or survival state, the answer to some of those questions might be maybe illuminating to a vulnerable, to an extent which will make you feel vulnerable and unsafe, because those are pretty existential questions to ask yourself, to look yourself and say, who am I and what do I want? And how do I get it? It's much easier, as you say, just to be swept by the tide. And that's a form of short term defense. It feels like a short termist will just get to tomorrow. Some people go through their lives doing that, right? Oh, I was. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family.

I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.