Today, you and I are going to have a conversation about the one thing that you need to do this week. Just one thing. And there's a reason why you and I are going to talk about this today, because I know you need to hear this. There is only one thing that you and I are going to be doing this week. And I'm thinking about this right now during the holidays, because right now in my life, it's a vacation week. There are kids home. It's between Christmas and New Year's, and I have downtime. But look, Look, there's always chaos in your life. And I say that because regardless of when you're listening to this, but especially during the holidays, this is a message you need to hear. It's a message I need to hear. It's a message everybody needs to hear because there's only one thing I want you to do this week. Nothing. Do nothing. Wait a minute. Mel Robbins, are you smoking something over there? Did you just say, Do nothing? And here's the funny part about this. I bet you might be doing something right now because you're a multitasker, and so am I.

You're listening to me while you're doing the dishes, while you're walking the dogs. Heck, you and I might be at the point in our relationship where you are actually sitting on the toilet and I'm in the bathroom stall with you as you're listening to this. Don't tell me that you have not taken me into the bathroom because I can even feel it over here. And I say this because we got to talk about the art of doing nothing. And look, I'm not stupid enough to think that you can actually do nothing. I mean, obviously not. This is like a metaphorical conversation because you probably have to work. I personally love working between the week of Christmas and New Year because nobody's there. So you It's like work half a day and you get the full-time pay, and it's way more stress-free, and you bedroom, went to bed. Do you know what I did? I sat and scrolled through my freaking phone. I don't even know why I did it. I literally He sat there and I started scrolling through Instagram. And next thing you know, 35 minutes have gone by. My husband has gone off to bed. He's sound asleep, snoring, saw on logs. He's already in la la land in his deep dream state. I have wasted 35 minutes getting all jacked up about everybody else's life and what people are doing in their businesses and the stuff that I'm not doing and the things I need to buy and all that stuff.I was so busy. I could have enjoyed myself if I had put the phone down. Instead, I picked it up because I got to be doing something. I got to be thinking thoughts. I got to be doing the thing. I got to be twirling through the thing. I could have just gone to bed like Chris did. Had a nice night's sleep. No, not me. I got to always be doing something. Here's the irony of the topic today, everybody. I have no idea how to do nothing. This is something I don't know I'm a lot about, and I need more of it in my life. I know you feel the same way. And I want to talk to you about this because of the number of questions that are pouring in from you at Mel questions@event. Com. Questions about busyness, about stress, about burnout, about never having time for yourself, about anxiety, about stress, about feeling like you're last on your list. And so So this week, you and I are going to focus on the art of doing nothing. If you are lucky enough to be off of work this week, I want you to stop and think, what would that mean for you?If you are somebody who has to work this week, I want you to think, what would a moment of doing nothing look like for you? If you're somebody that has a ton going on, you have that feeling like, But I can't. But what? Nothing? Nothing? What if I did that? Take a breath. What would nothing look like if you could spend an hour doing nothing? Not really thinking about anything. Not any agenda. But just doing nothing. What comes to mind for me immediately is running a hot bath. That's what comes to mind to me. Just run on a hot bath. I'm not even going to bring a book because I don't want to do anything. That'd be pretty awesome. I'm going to jump into some questions, and I think through these questions, you and I are going to figure out what it means to do nothing. Because I am no expert at this, and I have a feeling that this is going to be one one of those conversations that you and I have where you're going to write to me and be like, Woman, you got a lot to learn. Let me give you this advice about doing nothing, because I do a better job of doing nothing than you do, Mel Robbins.Our first question, I love this question, comes from a listener named Jenny, and she said, Mel, I'm a new listener to the podcast. I love your energetic voice and find that it energizes me, too. I'm a single parent of two kids, and I find it difficult to listen to episodes that tell I'm never too busy, never too tired to XYZ. I've deflected a lot of this from fitness influencers and efficiency experts. But from a self-help standpoint, I find that doing everything and dreaming big can't be shoehorned into a life that already has very little wiggle room for even day-to-day stuff. Can you relate to that? I can certainly relate to that. I'm going to say that again because I think that is so relatable. I've deflected a lot of this type of advice from fitness influencers and efficiency experts. And from a self-help standpoint, I find that doing everything and dreaming big can't be shoehorned into a life that already has very little wiggle room for even day-to-day stuff. This is all leading up to my question, which is, how do you remain hopeful in the trenches when surrounded by achievers? How do you make time for rest when it feels like a guilty pleasure to sit down every once in a while?Whoa. So first, let's talk about something. Let's talk about this part of her question. How do you remain hopeful in the trenches when surrounded by achievers? So first things first. Let's just call it what it is, okay? That most of the crap that you're seeing online is not actually true. It's not efficient. People are not as efficient as they look, and I love the home edit, but I guarantee you the second that they leave the television show or the Instagram shoot, that color-c coordinated bookcase and that beautiful pantry in the gorgeous plastic see-through things and the spinny things that look like you're not supposed to touch anything there. That pantry does not look like that in 24 hours. Give me a freaking break. Experts stylized that thing. Production assistants bought all that crap. They put it in believe that we live There's been a world that has trained us to always be on. Between the phone and a bazillion things to watch on TV and constantly emails to answer, there's always somebody who needs you. There's always something that needs to be done. And feeling Being needed is a way to feel connected and important. And so I don't think any of us feel guilty. I think we just don't know what to do.We don't know how to do nothing. And that's why I'm going to come back. I want this week, this is the theme. Let's practice the art of doing nothing, even if it's just for a minute. So here's what I'm going to commit to today, and then I'm going to go to the next question. I am going to take a bath. Now, I love taking baths, but normally, this is embarrassing to admit this to you, I'm on my phone in my bath. I am literally a sicko. I sit on my phone in my bath, and I relax in my bath by answering emails. This is literally awful that I do this. Why? Because I don't know how to do nothing. Oh, my God. Aren't we funny? I second morning. This is when my healing took a quantum leap. I can't even wait till you guys hear this. I cannot wait for everybody to experience this. I wake up, same overwhelm. Same, just defeated, down, tired, anxious, stressed, alone. And I, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, get out of bed.I make the bed. I start walking to the bathroom. And I realize I am feeling something. I don't think I'd ever felt my entire adult life. And it was this. You know how when you're about to walk into a cafe in You're going to see somebody who just love. You like them so much. You're about to walk in. What do you feel?I mean, anything from excitement to even that warm love, I think that you are expecting to go and receive in that moment.Yeah. I actually felt that about seeing myself. How powerful. I had never felt that as an adult. I'd been excited to see an outfit or what my hair looked like, but I had never felt that sense of joy or excitement about seeing the human being, Mel Robbins.The being, right? Because I'm thinking, too. I'm like, what? I just went on a trip of what have I felt excited about? And if I were to categorize, it was the stuff I was doing, I would say, or even an event. It didn't even have to even be an accomplishment. As I began to heal, as I began to shift a little less into I have to achieve things, it would just still be an exciting experience I had planned coming up. And I'm having a really hard time having consistent or frequent memories of just me being enough. And for me, if I map it on back into childhood, one of my major copings, too, was that doing, was shifting from a little girl self-expressing in whatever way to there were things that it was very clear I was good at very early on. And so for me, that shift into doing, and then the excitement, the warm feelings, even the loving connection. I could even go as far to say that my doing this, my achievements, how I was in the world, actually, for me for a long time, was a point of connections for me in my family relationships, in my friendships.How can I serve you? How can I show up for you? Friend, partner, whomever. And so for me, it's hard to think of moments where I felt enough excited, warm about me without action, uncloaked, just raw in a mirror.Yeah, I can totally relate to that. And it goes back to something you said earlier. You I also tend to get a lot of positive emotion and praise when you're achieving those things. At least I did, too. And I think that's why I chased it so much. I infuse the doing with being lovable, the achieving with being worthy. And so as I walk into the bathroom that second morning and the profound nature of what was unfolding started to hit me, I have this second epiphany as I'm brushing my teeth, and that is this. Every morning, there are two people in the bathroom. There's you and there's a human being in the mirror who needs you. They are trying so hard. They are waiting for you to wake up and to realize that they're there. They need your encouragement. They need your support. They need your love. They are so tired of you picking them apart and thinking about all the things that are going wrong. And as I put my toothbrush down, I remembered the fact that yesterday, the day before, I had been researching, how do I need to change right now? Because I have all these people on my team.How am I going to show up for my family? And I found this piece of research from Harvard that says that if you take just less than a minute of intentional reflection about how you're going to show up for the people that you're leading, and this could apply to your family, anybody, it changes your focus, your productivity, it changes your mood, it changes how you show up, your ability to impact. And for whatever reason in that moment, it all fused together. And I thought, well, what if I do that for me? And I asked myself a question I had never asked myself before, and it was this, who do you need me to be today? I asked the woman in the mirror, who do you need me to be today? How can I show up for you? And what popped in my mind that morning was like, well, it'd be nice if you were kinder to me because I'm trying really hard. And then the next one was, it'd be great if you could muster up some optimism here. Have more fun today. It was like, how? Throw me alive, my mouth. And as I thought about it, I then went and I raised my hand and I sealed it with this high five.And something like it just felt like this fusion with the person in the mirror. And that's when I really got it. I got that this is so much deeper and more profound because what I'm actually doing is I'm fulfilling my fundamental emotional needs. I'm seeing myself. I am meeting myself where I am. I am affirming my unique need, and I am celebrating myself. Myself exactly where I am right now, whether it's challenging, whether it's exhilarating. I am with myself right in that moment in a way that I don't know if I had ever been.I think it's really pivotal, and I want to reiterate this because I think it's such a great point of understanding, back to that onion analogy, again, when you said there's two people. And I could go as far as say that so many of us have different masks, different selves. The core, like we were just talking about, is who we really are. So many times in our day to day, we are showing up in all of these different ways, playing all of these different roles. And there isn't us that we need to, and the journey becomes about connecting back to. So a lot of us are at odds with even ourselves in so many moments because we're so practiced as showing up in all of these other ways that we've lost so much sight of the authentic core within each of us. And what you're also illustrating, I think that's so important, is the practice of that reconnection. And many of us start by not knowing, not seeing ourselves, not knowing what there is even to see or to self-express. For me, I share the story often. When I came to the awareness that I, like you and like many of us, filter the whole world through everyone else and what their needs may be, I had a big gate being a hole of knowledge.I didn't know myself. I didn't really know that person in the mirror. I did know that we do, I believe, as humans, universally, I don't care where you're signing onto this live right now around the globe. We have at our core the desire to be seen, to be heard, to be just in full self-expression, and for that to be enough. Yet I didn't know who that person was. So I share this because I do want to speak to the people who, as we begin to look in the mirror, and for a lot of us, it might just be a concept. Okay, there's an authentic self in there where I don't know where that person is. I don't know what that person needs yet. And that's when we begin the journey to explore, because I, like many of us, didn't know at first, was profoundly uncomfortable with even beginning to ask those questions. What do I need right now? Can I just be enough in this moment? And it is the question that sets us off into the journey. And I share that because I know a lot of us, we want to know the answers, or we think we should, and then we shame ourselves out of even taking the journey into exploring those.But for me, I'll share, that's how my journey began, not knowing at all, with incredible discomfort, even around stopping to even ask myself those questions. And of course, like you said, it does not happen overnight. I say, there's no light switch here. Oh, I heal now. And again, I want to highlight the practice of it, because there's concepts, there's books, there's people and teachers features, and tools, and techniques, and they're all in theory until, like I say, we bridge the gap from theory into action. And that's what I've always resonated so much with your work from the five-second, this idea of the tool. How do I practically apply this. Now, of course, the high five habit. How do I turn this idea into a daily action that can actually help me create the change that I'm looking for? To, A, reconnect with that person beneath, and B, to over time, grow to love them. Over time, grow to love them.I love the over time. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

bedroom, went to bed. Do you know what I did? I sat and scrolled through my freaking phone. I don't even know why I did it. I literally He sat there and I started scrolling through Instagram. And next thing you know, 35 minutes have gone by. My husband has gone off to bed. He's sound asleep, snoring, saw on logs. He's already in la la land in his deep dream state. I have wasted 35 minutes getting all jacked up about everybody else's life and what people are doing in their businesses and the stuff that I'm not doing and the things I need to buy and all that stuff.

I was so busy. I could have enjoyed myself if I had put the phone down. Instead, I picked it up because I got to be doing something. I got to be thinking thoughts. I got to be doing the thing. I got to be twirling through the thing. I could have just gone to bed like Chris did. Had a nice night's sleep. No, not me. I got to always be doing something. Here's the irony of the topic today, everybody. I have no idea how to do nothing. This is something I don't know I'm a lot about, and I need more of it in my life. I know you feel the same way. And I want to talk to you about this because of the number of questions that are pouring in from you at Mel questions@event. Com. Questions about busyness, about stress, about burnout, about never having time for yourself, about anxiety, about stress, about feeling like you're last on your list. And so So this week, you and I are going to focus on the art of doing nothing. If you are lucky enough to be off of work this week, I want you to stop and think, what would that mean for you?

If you are somebody who has to work this week, I want you to think, what would a moment of doing nothing look like for you? If you're somebody that has a ton going on, you have that feeling like, But I can't. But what? Nothing? Nothing? What if I did that? Take a breath. What would nothing look like if you could spend an hour doing nothing? Not really thinking about anything. Not any agenda. But just doing nothing. What comes to mind for me immediately is running a hot bath. That's what comes to mind to me. Just run on a hot bath. I'm not even going to bring a book because I don't want to do anything. That'd be pretty awesome. I'm going to jump into some questions, and I think through these questions, you and I are going to figure out what it means to do nothing. Because I am no expert at this, and I have a feeling that this is going to be one one of those conversations that you and I have where you're going to write to me and be like, Woman, you got a lot to learn. Let me give you this advice about doing nothing, because I do a better job of doing nothing than you do, Mel Robbins.

Our first question, I love this question, comes from a listener named Jenny, and she said, Mel, I'm a new listener to the podcast. I love your energetic voice and find that it energizes me, too. I'm a single parent of two kids, and I find it difficult to listen to episodes that tell I'm never too busy, never too tired to XYZ. I've deflected a lot of this from fitness influencers and efficiency experts. But from a self-help standpoint, I find that doing everything and dreaming big can't be shoehorned into a life that already has very little wiggle room for even day-to-day stuff. Can you relate to that? I can certainly relate to that. I'm going to say that again because I think that is so relatable. I've deflected a lot of this type of advice from fitness influencers and efficiency experts. And from a self-help standpoint, I find that doing everything and dreaming big can't be shoehorned into a life that already has very little wiggle room for even day-to-day stuff. This is all leading up to my question, which is, how do you remain hopeful in the trenches when surrounded by achievers? How do you make time for rest when it feels like a guilty pleasure to sit down every once in a while?

Whoa. So first, let's talk about something. Let's talk about this part of her question. How do you remain hopeful in the trenches when surrounded by achievers? So first things first. Let's just call it what it is, okay? That most of the crap that you're seeing online is not actually true. It's not efficient. People are not as efficient as they look, and I love the home edit, but I guarantee you the second that they leave the television show or the Instagram shoot, that color-c coordinated bookcase and that beautiful pantry in the gorgeous plastic see-through things and the spinny things that look like you're not supposed to touch anything there. That pantry does not look like that in 24 hours. Give me a freaking break. Experts stylized that thing. Production assistants bought all that crap. They put it in believe that we live There's been a world that has trained us to always be on. Between the phone and a bazillion things to watch on TV and constantly emails to answer, there's always somebody who needs you. There's always something that needs to be done. And feeling Being needed is a way to feel connected and important. And so I don't think any of us feel guilty. I think we just don't know what to do.We don't know how to do nothing. And that's why I'm going to come back. I want this week, this is the theme. Let's practice the art of doing nothing, even if it's just for a minute. So here's what I'm going to commit to today, and then I'm going to go to the next question. I am going to take a bath. Now, I love taking baths, but normally, this is embarrassing to admit this to you, I'm on my phone in my bath. I am literally a sicko. I sit on my phone in my bath, and I relax in my bath by answering emails. This is literally awful that I do this. Why? Because I don't know how to do nothing. Oh, my God. Aren't we funny? I second morning. This is when my healing took a quantum leap. I can't even wait till you guys hear this. I cannot wait for everybody to experience this. I wake up, same overwhelm. Same, just defeated, down, tired, anxious, stressed, alone. And I, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, get out of bed.I make the bed. I start walking to the bathroom. And I realize I am feeling something. I don't think I'd ever felt my entire adult life. And it was this. You know how when you're about to walk into a cafe in You're going to see somebody who just love. You like them so much. You're about to walk in. What do you feel?I mean, anything from excitement to even that warm love, I think that you are expecting to go and receive in that moment.Yeah. I actually felt that about seeing myself. How powerful. I had never felt that as an adult. I'd been excited to see an outfit or what my hair looked like, but I had never felt that sense of joy or excitement about seeing the human being, Mel Robbins.The being, right? Because I'm thinking, too. I'm like, what? I just went on a trip of what have I felt excited about? And if I were to categorize, it was the stuff I was doing, I would say, or even an event. It didn't even have to even be an accomplishment. As I began to heal, as I began to shift a little less into I have to achieve things, it would just still be an exciting experience I had planned coming up. And I'm having a really hard time having consistent or frequent memories of just me being enough. And for me, if I map it on back into childhood, one of my major copings, too, was that doing, was shifting from a little girl self-expressing in whatever way to there were things that it was very clear I was good at very early on. And so for me, that shift into doing, and then the excitement, the warm feelings, even the loving connection. I could even go as far to say that my doing this, my achievements, how I was in the world, actually, for me for a long time, was a point of connections for me in my family relationships, in my friendships.How can I serve you? How can I show up for you? Friend, partner, whomever. And so for me, it's hard to think of moments where I felt enough excited, warm about me without action, uncloaked, just raw in a mirror.Yeah, I can totally relate to that. And it goes back to something you said earlier. You I also tend to get a lot of positive emotion and praise when you're achieving those things. At least I did, too. And I think that's why I chased it so much. I infuse the doing with being lovable, the achieving with being worthy. And so as I walk into the bathroom that second morning and the profound nature of what was unfolding started to hit me, I have this second epiphany as I'm brushing my teeth, and that is this. Every morning, there are two people in the bathroom. There's you and there's a human being in the mirror who needs you. They are trying so hard. They are waiting for you to wake up and to realize that they're there. They need your encouragement. They need your support. They need your love. They are so tired of you picking them apart and thinking about all the things that are going wrong. And as I put my toothbrush down, I remembered the fact that yesterday, the day before, I had been researching, how do I need to change right now? Because I have all these people on my team.How am I going to show up for my family? And I found this piece of research from Harvard that says that if you take just less than a minute of intentional reflection about how you're going to show up for the people that you're leading, and this could apply to your family, anybody, it changes your focus, your productivity, it changes your mood, it changes how you show up, your ability to impact. And for whatever reason in that moment, it all fused together. And I thought, well, what if I do that for me? And I asked myself a question I had never asked myself before, and it was this, who do you need me to be today? I asked the woman in the mirror, who do you need me to be today? How can I show up for you? And what popped in my mind that morning was like, well, it'd be nice if you were kinder to me because I'm trying really hard. And then the next one was, it'd be great if you could muster up some optimism here. Have more fun today. It was like, how? Throw me alive, my mouth. And as I thought about it, I then went and I raised my hand and I sealed it with this high five.And something like it just felt like this fusion with the person in the mirror. And that's when I really got it. I got that this is so much deeper and more profound because what I'm actually doing is I'm fulfilling my fundamental emotional needs. I'm seeing myself. I am meeting myself where I am. I am affirming my unique need, and I am celebrating myself. Myself exactly where I am right now, whether it's challenging, whether it's exhilarating. I am with myself right in that moment in a way that I don't know if I had ever been.I think it's really pivotal, and I want to reiterate this because I think it's such a great point of understanding, back to that onion analogy, again, when you said there's two people. And I could go as far as say that so many of us have different masks, different selves. The core, like we were just talking about, is who we really are. So many times in our day to day, we are showing up in all of these different ways, playing all of these different roles. And there isn't us that we need to, and the journey becomes about connecting back to. So a lot of us are at odds with even ourselves in so many moments because we're so practiced as showing up in all of these other ways that we've lost so much sight of the authentic core within each of us. And what you're also illustrating, I think that's so important, is the practice of that reconnection. And many of us start by not knowing, not seeing ourselves, not knowing what there is even to see or to self-express. For me, I share the story often. When I came to the awareness that I, like you and like many of us, filter the whole world through everyone else and what their needs may be, I had a big gate being a hole of knowledge.I didn't know myself. I didn't really know that person in the mirror. I did know that we do, I believe, as humans, universally, I don't care where you're signing onto this live right now around the globe. We have at our core the desire to be seen, to be heard, to be just in full self-expression, and for that to be enough. Yet I didn't know who that person was. So I share this because I do want to speak to the people who, as we begin to look in the mirror, and for a lot of us, it might just be a concept. Okay, there's an authentic self in there where I don't know where that person is. I don't know what that person needs yet. And that's when we begin the journey to explore, because I, like many of us, didn't know at first, was profoundly uncomfortable with even beginning to ask those questions. What do I need right now? Can I just be enough in this moment? And it is the question that sets us off into the journey. And I share that because I know a lot of us, we want to know the answers, or we think we should, and then we shame ourselves out of even taking the journey into exploring those.But for me, I'll share, that's how my journey began, not knowing at all, with incredible discomfort, even around stopping to even ask myself those questions. And of course, like you said, it does not happen overnight. I say, there's no light switch here. Oh, I heal now. And again, I want to highlight the practice of it, because there's concepts, there's books, there's people and teachers features, and tools, and techniques, and they're all in theory until, like I say, we bridge the gap from theory into action. And that's what I've always resonated so much with your work from the five-second, this idea of the tool. How do I practically apply this. Now, of course, the high five habit. How do I turn this idea into a daily action that can actually help me create the change that I'm looking for? To, A, reconnect with that person beneath, and B, to over time, grow to love them. Over time, grow to love them.I love the over time. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

believe that we live There's been a world that has trained us to always be on. Between the phone and a bazillion things to watch on TV and constantly emails to answer, there's always somebody who needs you. There's always something that needs to be done. And feeling Being needed is a way to feel connected and important. And so I don't think any of us feel guilty. I think we just don't know what to do.

We don't know how to do nothing. And that's why I'm going to come back. I want this week, this is the theme. Let's practice the art of doing nothing, even if it's just for a minute. So here's what I'm going to commit to today, and then I'm going to go to the next question. I am going to take a bath. Now, I love taking baths, but normally, this is embarrassing to admit this to you, I'm on my phone in my bath. I am literally a sicko. I sit on my phone in my bath, and I relax in my bath by answering emails. This is literally awful that I do this. Why? Because I don't know how to do nothing. Oh, my God. Aren't we funny? I second morning. This is when my healing took a quantum leap. I can't even wait till you guys hear this. I cannot wait for everybody to experience this. I wake up, same overwhelm. Same, just defeated, down, tired, anxious, stressed, alone. And I, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, get out of bed.I make the bed. I start walking to the bathroom. And I realize I am feeling something. I don't think I'd ever felt my entire adult life. And it was this. You know how when you're about to walk into a cafe in You're going to see somebody who just love. You like them so much. You're about to walk in. What do you feel?I mean, anything from excitement to even that warm love, I think that you are expecting to go and receive in that moment.Yeah. I actually felt that about seeing myself. How powerful. I had never felt that as an adult. I'd been excited to see an outfit or what my hair looked like, but I had never felt that sense of joy or excitement about seeing the human being, Mel Robbins.The being, right? Because I'm thinking, too. I'm like, what? I just went on a trip of what have I felt excited about? And if I were to categorize, it was the stuff I was doing, I would say, or even an event. It didn't even have to even be an accomplishment. As I began to heal, as I began to shift a little less into I have to achieve things, it would just still be an exciting experience I had planned coming up. And I'm having a really hard time having consistent or frequent memories of just me being enough. And for me, if I map it on back into childhood, one of my major copings, too, was that doing, was shifting from a little girl self-expressing in whatever way to there were things that it was very clear I was good at very early on. And so for me, that shift into doing, and then the excitement, the warm feelings, even the loving connection. I could even go as far to say that my doing this, my achievements, how I was in the world, actually, for me for a long time, was a point of connections for me in my family relationships, in my friendships.How can I serve you? How can I show up for you? Friend, partner, whomever. And so for me, it's hard to think of moments where I felt enough excited, warm about me without action, uncloaked, just raw in a mirror.Yeah, I can totally relate to that. And it goes back to something you said earlier. You I also tend to get a lot of positive emotion and praise when you're achieving those things. At least I did, too. And I think that's why I chased it so much. I infuse the doing with being lovable, the achieving with being worthy. And so as I walk into the bathroom that second morning and the profound nature of what was unfolding started to hit me, I have this second epiphany as I'm brushing my teeth, and that is this. Every morning, there are two people in the bathroom. There's you and there's a human being in the mirror who needs you. They are trying so hard. They are waiting for you to wake up and to realize that they're there. They need your encouragement. They need your support. They need your love. They are so tired of you picking them apart and thinking about all the things that are going wrong. And as I put my toothbrush down, I remembered the fact that yesterday, the day before, I had been researching, how do I need to change right now? Because I have all these people on my team.How am I going to show up for my family? And I found this piece of research from Harvard that says that if you take just less than a minute of intentional reflection about how you're going to show up for the people that you're leading, and this could apply to your family, anybody, it changes your focus, your productivity, it changes your mood, it changes how you show up, your ability to impact. And for whatever reason in that moment, it all fused together. And I thought, well, what if I do that for me? And I asked myself a question I had never asked myself before, and it was this, who do you need me to be today? I asked the woman in the mirror, who do you need me to be today? How can I show up for you? And what popped in my mind that morning was like, well, it'd be nice if you were kinder to me because I'm trying really hard. And then the next one was, it'd be great if you could muster up some optimism here. Have more fun today. It was like, how? Throw me alive, my mouth. And as I thought about it, I then went and I raised my hand and I sealed it with this high five.And something like it just felt like this fusion with the person in the mirror. And that's when I really got it. I got that this is so much deeper and more profound because what I'm actually doing is I'm fulfilling my fundamental emotional needs. I'm seeing myself. I am meeting myself where I am. I am affirming my unique need, and I am celebrating myself. Myself exactly where I am right now, whether it's challenging, whether it's exhilarating. I am with myself right in that moment in a way that I don't know if I had ever been.I think it's really pivotal, and I want to reiterate this because I think it's such a great point of understanding, back to that onion analogy, again, when you said there's two people. And I could go as far as say that so many of us have different masks, different selves. The core, like we were just talking about, is who we really are. So many times in our day to day, we are showing up in all of these different ways, playing all of these different roles. And there isn't us that we need to, and the journey becomes about connecting back to. So a lot of us are at odds with even ourselves in so many moments because we're so practiced as showing up in all of these other ways that we've lost so much sight of the authentic core within each of us. And what you're also illustrating, I think that's so important, is the practice of that reconnection. And many of us start by not knowing, not seeing ourselves, not knowing what there is even to see or to self-express. For me, I share the story often. When I came to the awareness that I, like you and like many of us, filter the whole world through everyone else and what their needs may be, I had a big gate being a hole of knowledge.I didn't know myself. I didn't really know that person in the mirror. I did know that we do, I believe, as humans, universally, I don't care where you're signing onto this live right now around the globe. We have at our core the desire to be seen, to be heard, to be just in full self-expression, and for that to be enough. Yet I didn't know who that person was. So I share this because I do want to speak to the people who, as we begin to look in the mirror, and for a lot of us, it might just be a concept. Okay, there's an authentic self in there where I don't know where that person is. I don't know what that person needs yet. And that's when we begin the journey to explore, because I, like many of us, didn't know at first, was profoundly uncomfortable with even beginning to ask those questions. What do I need right now? Can I just be enough in this moment? And it is the question that sets us off into the journey. And I share that because I know a lot of us, we want to know the answers, or we think we should, and then we shame ourselves out of even taking the journey into exploring those.But for me, I'll share, that's how my journey began, not knowing at all, with incredible discomfort, even around stopping to even ask myself those questions. And of course, like you said, it does not happen overnight. I say, there's no light switch here. Oh, I heal now. And again, I want to highlight the practice of it, because there's concepts, there's books, there's people and teachers features, and tools, and techniques, and they're all in theory until, like I say, we bridge the gap from theory into action. And that's what I've always resonated so much with your work from the five-second, this idea of the tool. How do I practically apply this. Now, of course, the high five habit. How do I turn this idea into a daily action that can actually help me create the change that I'm looking for? To, A, reconnect with that person beneath, and B, to over time, grow to love them. Over time, grow to love them.I love the over time. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.

second morning. This is when my healing took a quantum leap. I can't even wait till you guys hear this. I cannot wait for everybody to experience this. I wake up, same overwhelm. Same, just defeated, down, tired, anxious, stressed, alone. And I, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, get out of bed.

I make the bed. I start walking to the bathroom. And I realize I am feeling something. I don't think I'd ever felt my entire adult life. And it was this. You know how when you're about to walk into a cafe in You're going to see somebody who just love. You like them so much. You're about to walk in. What do you feel?

I mean, anything from excitement to even that warm love, I think that you are expecting to go and receive in that moment.

Yeah. I actually felt that about seeing myself. How powerful. I had never felt that as an adult. I'd been excited to see an outfit or what my hair looked like, but I had never felt that sense of joy or excitement about seeing the human being, Mel Robbins.

The being, right? Because I'm thinking, too. I'm like, what? I just went on a trip of what have I felt excited about? And if I were to categorize, it was the stuff I was doing, I would say, or even an event. It didn't even have to even be an accomplishment. As I began to heal, as I began to shift a little less into I have to achieve things, it would just still be an exciting experience I had planned coming up. And I'm having a really hard time having consistent or frequent memories of just me being enough. And for me, if I map it on back into childhood, one of my major copings, too, was that doing, was shifting from a little girl self-expressing in whatever way to there were things that it was very clear I was good at very early on. And so for me, that shift into doing, and then the excitement, the warm feelings, even the loving connection. I could even go as far to say that my doing this, my achievements, how I was in the world, actually, for me for a long time, was a point of connections for me in my family relationships, in my friendships.

How can I serve you? How can I show up for you? Friend, partner, whomever. And so for me, it's hard to think of moments where I felt enough excited, warm about me without action, uncloaked, just raw in a mirror.

Yeah, I can totally relate to that. And it goes back to something you said earlier. You I also tend to get a lot of positive emotion and praise when you're achieving those things. At least I did, too. And I think that's why I chased it so much. I infuse the doing with being lovable, the achieving with being worthy. And so as I walk into the bathroom that second morning and the profound nature of what was unfolding started to hit me, I have this second epiphany as I'm brushing my teeth, and that is this. Every morning, there are two people in the bathroom. There's you and there's a human being in the mirror who needs you. They are trying so hard. They are waiting for you to wake up and to realize that they're there. They need your encouragement. They need your support. They need your love. They are so tired of you picking them apart and thinking about all the things that are going wrong. And as I put my toothbrush down, I remembered the fact that yesterday, the day before, I had been researching, how do I need to change right now? Because I have all these people on my team.

How am I going to show up for my family? And I found this piece of research from Harvard that says that if you take just less than a minute of intentional reflection about how you're going to show up for the people that you're leading, and this could apply to your family, anybody, it changes your focus, your productivity, it changes your mood, it changes how you show up, your ability to impact. And for whatever reason in that moment, it all fused together. And I thought, well, what if I do that for me? And I asked myself a question I had never asked myself before, and it was this, who do you need me to be today? I asked the woman in the mirror, who do you need me to be today? How can I show up for you? And what popped in my mind that morning was like, well, it'd be nice if you were kinder to me because I'm trying really hard. And then the next one was, it'd be great if you could muster up some optimism here. Have more fun today. It was like, how? Throw me alive, my mouth. And as I thought about it, I then went and I raised my hand and I sealed it with this high five.

And something like it just felt like this fusion with the person in the mirror. And that's when I really got it. I got that this is so much deeper and more profound because what I'm actually doing is I'm fulfilling my fundamental emotional needs. I'm seeing myself. I am meeting myself where I am. I am affirming my unique need, and I am celebrating myself. Myself exactly where I am right now, whether it's challenging, whether it's exhilarating. I am with myself right in that moment in a way that I don't know if I had ever been.

I think it's really pivotal, and I want to reiterate this because I think it's such a great point of understanding, back to that onion analogy, again, when you said there's two people. And I could go as far as say that so many of us have different masks, different selves. The core, like we were just talking about, is who we really are. So many times in our day to day, we are showing up in all of these different ways, playing all of these different roles. And there isn't us that we need to, and the journey becomes about connecting back to. So a lot of us are at odds with even ourselves in so many moments because we're so practiced as showing up in all of these other ways that we've lost so much sight of the authentic core within each of us. And what you're also illustrating, I think that's so important, is the practice of that reconnection. And many of us start by not knowing, not seeing ourselves, not knowing what there is even to see or to self-express. For me, I share the story often. When I came to the awareness that I, like you and like many of us, filter the whole world through everyone else and what their needs may be, I had a big gate being a hole of knowledge.

I didn't know myself. I didn't really know that person in the mirror. I did know that we do, I believe, as humans, universally, I don't care where you're signing onto this live right now around the globe. We have at our core the desire to be seen, to be heard, to be just in full self-expression, and for that to be enough. Yet I didn't know who that person was. So I share this because I do want to speak to the people who, as we begin to look in the mirror, and for a lot of us, it might just be a concept. Okay, there's an authentic self in there where I don't know where that person is. I don't know what that person needs yet. And that's when we begin the journey to explore, because I, like many of us, didn't know at first, was profoundly uncomfortable with even beginning to ask those questions. What do I need right now? Can I just be enough in this moment? And it is the question that sets us off into the journey. And I share that because I know a lot of us, we want to know the answers, or we think we should, and then we shame ourselves out of even taking the journey into exploring those.

But for me, I'll share, that's how my journey began, not knowing at all, with incredible discomfort, even around stopping to even ask myself those questions. And of course, like you said, it does not happen overnight. I say, there's no light switch here. Oh, I heal now. And again, I want to highlight the practice of it, because there's concepts, there's books, there's people and teachers features, and tools, and techniques, and they're all in theory until, like I say, we bridge the gap from theory into action. And that's what I've always resonated so much with your work from the five-second, this idea of the tool. How do I practically apply this. Now, of course, the high five habit. How do I turn this idea into a daily action that can actually help me create the change that I'm looking for? To, A, reconnect with that person beneath, and B, to over time, grow to love them. Over time, grow to love them.

I love the over time. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.