Hey, guys. Are you ready for some money rehab?

Wall Street has been completely upended by an unlikely player, Gamestop.

And should I have a 401k? Because then I- You don't do it? No, I never- You think the whole world revolves around you and your money? Well, it doesn't. Charge for wasting our time.

I will take a check.

I got an old-school check.

You recognize her from anchoring on CNN, CNBC, and Bloomberg.

The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand, Nicole Lappin. The idea for this episode came from an afternoon I spent down an internet rabbit hole, and somehow I stumbled on a BuzzFeed article written by today's guest. And that's all I'm going to tell you before diving right in. Evy and Shane, welcome to Money Rehab.

Thanks so much. Yeah, thank you.

So Evy, you wrote an article in BuzzFeed called, I Don't Share Money with My Husband, and I think it's saved our relationship. Best title ever. Thank you. So of course, I was captivated right away for many reasons. I am so interested, generally, and we talk about this a lot on the show, in how couples handle their finances and split it up or not. And so I know you both have a system. I want to go back to the origin, though, of that system to kick things off. When you were newlyweds and you were talking through how you'd handle your finances as a married couple, how did you decide what you were going to do?

Yeah. So I think looking back at that, what we started with was that we had already been in a relationship for quite a while, and we were living together. And so when we got engaged, we decided rather than upending everything and canceling accounts and opening new accounts, we would keep things going as they had been. So we just did nothing, to be honest with you. We took the path of the least resistance And that was my idea, I think. Yeah, it was my idea. And because I felt like I wanted, we started our relationship on uneven ground with different amounts of savings, different salaries. And so it was something that we felt like, let's just maintain our own lives, maintain our own finances. And yeah, that's where it all started.

So I totally get the path of least resistance, by the way, even I'm thinking about marriage stuff. I just want to hide and not deal with any of it. So I fully get that motivation. In your article, though, Evy, you mentioned there were a few other reasons for keeping things separate. You said the fact that you guys also had different spending habits. Can you talk through those?

This is Shane's favorite topic because he calls it like... He says, I'm going to throw him under the bus for the muffins.

But basically- Tell me about the muffins, please.

This is an example of the whole reason for me is that Shane is willing to spend, I'd say, daily little amounts on comfort items, whereas I'm more of a one-time big spender. I'll go on a big shopping spree or something like that, whereas Shane will go to the coffee shop and get a latte and a muffin probably two time, maybe three times a week. And it's a seven dollar charge or $10, maybe even now, every single time. So So for me, that was a big sticking point, is I didn't want my savings to go to those muffins.

I feel like I should chime in here.

Please make your case for the muffins.

So the muffins are important. No, I think this is an example of conflict avoidance, I think, right? Our values on what we should spend, what we think we should spend money on are different. So And Evy hates the fact that I eat muffins a couple of times a week, and she doesn't. But then I don't talk about those $600 clothing binges where a bunch of boxes show up at the door. It's a give and take.

So Evy, what offends you most about these $7 purchases? In the end of the day, there's still small indulgences.

Yeah.

And $7 compared to $600.

I mean, I guess I think about it as like, okay, $7 isn't much, but then three times a week, that's 21 bucks. And then if you do that every single week for a month, my math is going to fail me here. But it gets to be a lot of money. And it also just feels like something that's indulgent. We have coffee at our house. Actually, we have someone who loves to make us muffins. Not me, because I'm not a great baker, but we get- Free muffins from the neighborhood. Yeah, free muffins.

Cool. To me, it's that.

And I I think that that basically the muffin thing illustrates just that we had different spending habits.

The muffin as a metaphor.

Yeah, muffin as a metaphor. Got it. I love that. It was just like, I didn't want to spend the rest of my life nagging him like, oh, you've been down to the coffee shop twice this week. Are you really going to go for a third time? And I don't want him to be bugging me, like I said, like he said, when there's a huge box of clothes at the door that I ordered online. The meaning behind that was just to avoid all of that. And it's like, his money is his business, which we got married when we were in our late 20s, and we were responsible humans who were functioning financially very well independently. So it's like, I don't need to sit there and tell him why buying a muffin is dumb, and he doesn't need to sit there and tell me why I shouldn't buy a new jacket.

So you were not making the same amount of money, although it sounds like both financially responsible and on the right career path at the end of your 20s. Yay. Can you tell me more about what the dynamic was there? How much more was one person making or saving? Was there a vast discrepancy?

I mean, you've always made more than me. Boss bitch. And I think that was always... Our basic minimum requirement, I think, has been that If you can pay your bills for the month, like rent and whatever mutual costs we have together, like groceries, putting gas in the car, it's always been like, if you can make that happen each month, then you're good. I don't even know how much you have in your bank account right now, and I guarantee you don't know how much I have in my bank account right now. But you know that Evy actually sends me a Venmo request for any mutual costs at the end of each month. So if we can make the Venmo payment, our mutual credit card payment, and then whatever else happens throughout the month, we're good to go. And it almost doesn't even matter how much one person or the other is making unless they're really struggling, which has happened actually in the past.

What has happened then?

Do you help each other out, as married couples tend to do?

So we do. So we're pretty independent, but there have been a time... I guess both of us have lost our jobs at some point since we've been married. So we've been married. We just had our eight-year anniversary at the beginning of the month. And so over that time, both of us have lost our jobs at different points. So during that time, we supported each other. So I can remember when I lost my job and I was all of a sudden out of a paycheck and stressing, and Shane helped me out by covering my rent for that month. But it's not like we still pay it back. So it's not like, Oh, just take it. It's still once I have the money- Oh, you got a Venmo request for that rent when you got back on your feet? Yeah.

So we can do pretty- Brutal.

Yeah. And it's like... I mean, I think what we'll do is sometimes, for For example, if one of us has a big... We both travel for work. So if one of us has a big trip coming up and the other person... We want the other person there and the other person can't swing it, we'll help each other out without IOU situations set up.

I guess I'm curious as to why you split 50/50, though, your joint expenses if you make more. Wouldn't you want to do it weighted in that case?

I mean, I guess we never even thought about going weighted just because the 50/50 was simpler. But it felt like, I don't know, if we both move into apartment, we both say we can afford this apartment, then we both should be able to pay to split the apartment. Do you know what I mean? And it felt like... It was frustrating, I think, in the beginning, because when we first started, but when we were at that point of engagement in our relationship, I think you were working part-time and I was working full-time, for example. And so it's like, I didn't feel like, Oh, I want to work and toil away. And he's working part-time and snowboarding all the time. And then I have to cover more of his rent because he's choosing that. Do you know what I mean? So it allows us to Choose the lives the amount that we want to work, but it keeps it totally even.

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Okay, well, since you wrote this article, you've had a baby. The baby, I'm assuming, is even parts both of yours, but I'm assuming that's changed how the financial system has worked?

It actually hasn't. One of the things we haven't really talked about yet is the creation of the Team Card, which is the huge...

Tell me more.

The biggest change that we did, I think several months after we got married, we opened a joint credit card. And on that card, which we have nicknamed the Team Card, we put everything mutual. So gas, groceries. If we go out to dinner, if we book a trip together for the both of us, we'll put it on the Team Card. So any mutual expense is on And so when our daughter came around, which has been recent, we definitely were ready. Like, okay, are we going to have to change things? What's it going to look like? But right now, as of five months in, we've continued the exist and exactly as we have been using it. So we just put things for her, diapers, if whatever else, what other... She's pretty cheap so far because... Yeah. But any expenses will go on that team card. And then at the end of the month, I pay it off with my account, and then I Venmo Shane request for that, plus his half of the rent.

I see. Yeah, there was actually an article that I was recently reading that a woman asked her husband for $50,000 for having a child because of her lost wages and all these other things. And they had a similar system to yours because, of course, the ramifications for women are different. But it sounds like whatever the expense, whether it's birthing or rearing, you guys are splitting. Does that also apply to college tuition? In the article, you mentioned that you would start saving for your daughter's college education. So how does that system work or how do you contribute to that?

You have it exactly right. So everything is split. So I mean, the hospital bill from her birth, we split. College tuition, our plan is to split. Our plan is, which we haven't done yet, is to start a college fund where we're both putting an equal amount every three months. So that's something we've talked about, and that's part of our plan. So, yes, everything with her is completely going to be 50/50 is the vision. And we actually are in a unique position because of the work that we both do, that we're actually splitting child rearing right now, 50/50. I think at some point we will have to do childcare or preschool or something like that, which we'll split 50/50 financially.

Do you make a lot... I know you guys don't want to talk about specific numbers. Totally respect that. Do you make a lot less than Evy, Shane, or is it similar but just technically less?

I would say that if you were to graph my income over time, there'd be a lot of spikes and lows. Sure.

It happens.

Whereas Evy's graph would be higher and more consistent over time. So, yeah, there's a little bit more uncertainty based around my income. But, yeah, it's not a crazy, vast difference, though.

I would say maybe you make a third less than me. Sure.

Yeah, that's fair.

So the choices that Evy makes for your daughter, let's say, when preschool, and those things are very expensive, it doesn't make you feel put out when you have to then put 50% of that bill because that 50% weighted for a third less feels different than it does to Evy.

Yeah. For me, it feels like being married didn't change any of my personal responsibility. It feels like things like our babies costs, birthing, things like that, rent, all these daily expenses. It seems like that's the minimum that I need to be able to pay for. So it feels like I don't ever see Evy's role as my partner, as, I don't know, having my back or needing to, I don't know, take on more based on weighting our income. It just feels like, yeah, this baby is half mine, half yours. This is how much money I make. This is how much money you make. It doesn't really matter. We just need to split the bill.

Look, It works for you. I'm into it. You guys are open and honest. You talk about it. I'm here for this. Besides the, God forbid, health issues or other job issues that will inevitably happen because that's life, what What about if you fast forward 30 years in retirement and Evy, you have all this savings, it sounds like, and we don't know what's going to happen with Shane's savings account or if he has a retirement fund or what? What's going to happen then?

I don't know. You answer that. I haven't thought about it.

I feel like we're painting me out to be so sketchy, too.

No. Shane, I'm making the case for your fucking muffin. Like, buy Write the muffin. I will write you a thing. You can refer to it. It is financial expert approved. I'm totally here for that.

If I could get a note on the refrigerator signed by you, then I can just point to it because I think you're the only person that's supported my muffin habit.

Absolutely. A thousand %. I make the case a lot for the morning latte. I think it's actually a better financial habit, if we're being really honest, than your habit, Evy. I think that if you allow Tell yourself small indulgences, just like with the regular diet, you're not going to end up binging later on. I think it's actually more healthy to do smaller indulgences than a big old binge. You guys didn't ask for my advice, but I'm just going to... I can't help myself.

So I do think that's awesome.

This is a great spoken, unspoken, whatever rule. Shane, I would stick to what makes you happy with these small indulgences. I would also just make sure that you're contributing to your end game. So your savings, your retirement, your investments as well. That's all.

That does make sense, actually.

Food for thought while you're eating your muffin. More food in your brain. Okay, so Would there be any cautionary tale that you would give other couples looking to try a system like this? Have you guys had major speed bumps or issues that you would go back and to try to avoid knowing what you know now?

It's worked out pretty well so far. I don't think there's been any real issues so far, have there?

I do to say, when you say the weighted to your salary paying the proportion, which is like 60, 40 or something like that. I mean, that interests me a little bit because I feel, I don't know, it makes me feel a little guilty for the way we've been doing at 50, 50. So that's the only... I mean, and that's just based on what you said. I find interesting.

For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. I do like Evy and Shane's system, but what I like even more is how much thought they've put into just how to structure their financial lives. Did you catch that moment where Evy was thinking out loud about whether it was fair to Shane that they've been splitting their expenses 50/50 all these years? That was such an important moment because it showed how they're not super defensive about their finances. Instead, they keep an open mind about their financial system and don't shy away from tackling tough finance topics together. So use Evy and Shane as a model. They have financial check-ins all the time, and it doesn't rock their boat. So if they can do it, you can, too. Moneyrehab is a production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin.

Our producers are Morgan Lavoy and Mike Coscarelli. Executive producers are Nikki Etor and Will Pearson.

Our mascots are Penny and Mimsy. Huge thanks to O. G. Money Rehab team, Michelle Lanz for her development work, Katherine Law for her production and writing, Magic, and Brandon Dickert for his editing, engineering, and sound design.

And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself so that you can get it together and get it all. You spend my money, money, money. You spend.