Transcribe your podcast
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The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care and we'll see you there.

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Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much, like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Katherine Nikolai, and I'm an architect of Cozy. Come spend some time where everyone is welcome and the default is kindness. Listen, relax, enjoy. Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the My Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Something that makes me crazy is when people say, Well, I had this career before, but it was a waste. And that's where the perspective shift comes, that it's not a waste that everything you've done has built you to where you are now. This is She Pivots, the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them. Join me, Emily Tisch-Sussman, every Wednesday on She Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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We're good at oscillating between extremes. We go from, I hate myself to, I'm the best person in the world. And in this case, we go from, I'm going to do a lot. I'm going to plan a lot. I'm going to be the most productive person in the world at peak performance. I'm the one. And then on the other side, it's like, I want to do nothing this weekend. And that creates somewhat of a difficult environment to live in. The number one health and wellness podcast.

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Jay Shetty.

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Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. I am so grateful to be back with you for another session. And I want to say thank you to all of you who are showing all your love, showing up, being present, learning, growing, sharing the episodes, leaving reviews. It means the world to me right now. Thank you so much. Thank you so, so much from the bottom of my heart. And like I always do say, if you do see me somewhere, come say, Hey, a lot of you did it at the airport yesterday. I've been traveling around a bit right now, and I loved bumping into so many of you that I saw in Orlando and then Chicago. I'm on my way to New York, and it's been a real, real joy. Thank you so much for all the love you show me and that you show on purpose. Now, it's Mental Health Awareness Month. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And I feel it's so, so important that we use this as an opportunity to deepen our connection with our mental health, to help the people around us, to use it as an opportunity to do better for ourselves and for others.

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And I'm so grateful because I'm partnering up an ambassador for NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and they're the largest grassroots mental health organization in the United States. Nami helps provide advocacy, education, support, and public awareness so that all individuals and families affected by mental health conditions can lead better lives. And if you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, there is help. Call NAMI Helpline at 800-950-NAMI or go to www. Nami. Org/help or text helpline to 62640. For immediate 24/7 crisis support, call or text 988 or visit www. 988lifeline. Ca. Org. I'm so grateful to be partnering with Nami, and I really do hope that it helps get the message out to so many more people about what they can do. Now, I wanted to share with you my favorite habits for my mental health that I think are powerful, practical, and accessible. I'm not going to go and ask you to learn a new skill. I'm not going to go and ask you to learn how to do something new. These are things anyone can start today. And so if you're someone who's been struggling with anxiety and stress, this episode is for you.

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If you're someone who's been trying to do so many practices, but they're not working for you, this episode is for you. And if you're someone who knows someone who's struggling, this episode is for you. It may be a child, a partner, a friend, someone you love, a family member, a parent. Check out this episode. It's lots of great simple insights in the small changes that will make a big difference. Now, number one, every night when You're about to go to bed. Before you go to bed, it's part of your wind down routine, it's part of your evening routine. A lot of people have talked about the importance of having an evening routine. The reason is because we almost want our body to act like technology. Technology has an off button. We press off and it powers off. But we, our off button is more like a power down where we need time to unwind, we need time to slow down. And because As we've got so used to using technology, we want our bodies to react and respond like a laptop, like a phone, but it doesn't do that. So when your head hits the pillow, you're not falling asleep straight away.

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One part of a great evening routine that can be really powerful for your mental health. And you can do this in a journal. You can do this as a voice note. You can do it out loud with your partner or a roommate or whoever it may be. You could do it over the phone with someone you're close to. But there's one question that you want to answer every evening. What did I accomplish today? What did you accomplish today is the single most important question to ask your sofa your mind in the evening before you go to bed. Now, why is it? It sounds obvious. It's like, Oh, yeah, I'll feel accomplished. I'll feel good about myself. There's a lot more to it. The whole day or in In the evening, you are very likely to subconsciously say to yourself, I can't believe I didn't get that done. Gosh, there's so much left to get done. Oh, and I didn't even get to that thing. Oh, and I've still got all those emails to reply to. We're so used to noting down all the things that we haven't done, all the things that we didn't achieve, all the things that didn't work out, that we easily, simply forget the program Progress that has been made.

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So it's not neutral. I think we think we live in a neutral world where we're like, oh, I don't want to pump myself up. I'm fine. But actually, what we're usually doing is putting ourselves down, right? So I'm not telling you to pump yourself up. I'm not saying to sit there and say, I'm the best. I'm amazing. I did this. It's actually saying, What did I accomplish today? Because chances are your mind's already coming up with the list of what you didn't accomplish. And you might say, All right, got in a 20-minute workout. I accomplished that today. Whereas usually you'd say, I only got a 20-minute workout. Notice how we do that, right? Even though it's an accomplishment to get in the gym, to get that workout in, maybe you got 6,000 steps, and you say to yourself, I only got 6,000 steps. Instead of, I accomplish 6,000 steps, let's go for 7,000 tomorrow. Which one do you think programs you to push a little bit more tomorrow when you're feeling encouraged or when you're feeling put down? Now, chances are when you're If it's being put down, you'll sort it out for the next couple of days, but it's not sustainable.

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It's not sustainable to constantly speak to yourself negatively and expect a positive result. Let me repeat that again. You can't speak to yourself negatively and expect a positive result. You can't speak to yourself in a way that puts you down to hope that it pulls you up. You can't speak to yourself in a way that is condescending and hope that it's going to make you feel connected to yourself. When we talk bad to ourselves day after day after day, It's impossible for it to lead to something good. And so when you ask yourself the simple question at the end of every day, What did I accomplish today? Make a list of three things. I got the laundry done. I did some meal prep. I cooked a great meal. I finished off all my email inbox, even though I still know my text is still left. What did you accomplish? What you're doing is rewiring, reprogramming your mind to also not forget the truth, right? If your friend said to you, Hey, I only got this done today, you'd be like, That's amazing. You got 6,000 steps. Good for you. You made it to the gym for 20 minutes.

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That's amazing, right? Your reaction would be so different. And I encourage you to do this with the people you love, too. This is something that Radhi did for me when I began my health journey, when we were together, especially my physical health. And she was always someone who was committed to going to the gym, committed to her health and well-being. And I was someone who was focused on the mind. And I remember in the beginning, I would still have my sugar addiction. I would still be very much like, Oh, yeah, I didn't get that done. I didn't get this done. She'd always be like, Well, that's amazing. That's great that you made it. That's awesome. And at the same time, education. I think we mistake being hard on ourselves as a replacement for education. I'll explain what I mean by that. Facts can hit harder than you being hard on yourself. Let me say that again. Educating yourself in the fact of something can hit you harder than being hard on yourself. What I mean by that is if someone walks you through the challenging aspects of not working out, if someone walks you through the factual repercussions of what you're consuming, mentally or physically, that fact is more likely to push you into growth than you being mean to yourself with no facts.

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And so I think it's so important that we recognize how we're motivated. Now, all of us are different. Some of us may actually like the hard talk, and we may need it, and that's fine, too. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't go to sleep, focusing on what we've accomplished today and recognizing that it is progress. Dress. Okay, number two, this one is also slightly counterintuitive, but I recommend that if you're struggling with your mental health this month, plan something for yourself and someone else. Build something. Plan a trip, an event, a charity event, a mental health awareness event, whatever it may be, do something, plan something, build towards something, create an opportunity for your mind to be active in working towards something. Hey, everyone. It's Jay here. My wife and I have had so much fun creating our own sparkling tea, Juni. And I've got big news for you. It's at Target, and we'd love your support. If you can go out, grab a Juni Today, you'll be adding adaptogens and neutropics into your life with mood-boosting properties aimed at promoting a balanced and happy mind. Through our commitment to our wellness journey and striving to fuel our bodies with the healthiest ingredients, it's been Our purpose to make healthy choices accessible for all, which is why Juni is now on shelves at Target.

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So head to our store locator at drinkjuni. Com and find Juni at a Target near you. I think a lot of us believe right now that comfort and not doing anything helps us. And I think that can be true because we're overworked, we're overwhelmed, we're burnt out. And as humans, we're good at oscillating between extremes, right? We basically go between between extremes constantly. We go from, I hate myself to, I'm the best person in the world. And in this case, we go from, I'm going to do a lot. I'm going to plan a lot. I'm going to be the most productive person in the world at peak performance. I'm the one. And then on the other side, it's like, I want to do nothing this weekend. And we oscillate between these extremes, and that creates somewhat of a difficult environment to live in. Now, balance is not necessarily what I'm saying, but what I am proposing is that you're always working on something, and you're not working on it so much that it drains you. You may put it aside when you're working very hard at work. And it's almost like when work's really tough, this may take a back burner because you're already focusing that part of your brain.

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You're already focusing that part of your energy. But maybe when work It's a little slower or medium-paced. You're adding this in to give your mind that focus point, to give it that activity, to give it that progress marker. So the reason why I'm planning something is so powerful is because it makes you feel like you're moving. And as humans, we need to feel like we're constantly moving in a direction towards something. Whether we're ambitious or not, we all need to feel like we're growing. We all need to feel like we are progressing in a direction. And when we choose to plan something, it creates a lot of that forward motion that's pulling us forward. Rather than you pushing yourself, you've now got something in the future pulling you. And I find that that can be a really powerful thing. Of course, you have to Pick something that really is important to you. Don't pick to plan anything. But picking to plan something, what happens? You get to meet people around it. You get to go to new places because of it. You are taking on a new project. And that's where life starts to get more connected naturally.

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A big part of why we're struggling with mental health today is loneliness. We're feeling disconnected from people. And I found that when you build something with someone, when you do something with someone, It's so much more magical what you develop as a friendship. I think it's not explored enough today, but when you do something with someone that is active, proactive, building, planning, creating, the memories you build and the bond you build is far more than going to a number of parties with someone. It's just not the same thing. You could go to dinner with someone, and it's It's not the same level as if you help them move home, right? You could go to dinner with someone, and it's not the same as if you help them change a tire on their car. You could go to dinner with someone, and it's not the same as if you put on an event for your community or organized your family's birthday or a getaway trip together, right? It's just not the same thing. And I think for a lot of us, we're trying to find connection across a table on a couch. And I'm not saying those things are wrong.

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I'm not saying they're bad, and we need those things. But I found that the deepest, most powerful relationships I have are ones where we did things together. And I would encourage you all to find a friend, choose someone, or you'll find a friend through the process of planning something. And what you plan can be small. I'm not saying it has to be thousands of people. It could be a small thing at your child's school. It can be a small thing for your family at home. But planning something, working towards something, making yourself feel excited about something, because so much of the time we're struggling because we've lost that zest, we've lost that thrill, we've lost that excitement, and it's important that we bring it back. Number three, get better at the things you're good at. A lot of the time when we're struggling with low confidence, it's because we actually are experiencing low competence, right? It's competence that builds confidence. It's competence that builds greater to self-esteem. Confidence by the dictionary definition, which I love. And by the way, when I pull out a definition, it's because I feel we're so unaware of it. The dictionary definition of confidence, one of them, is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's abilities and qualities.

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So when you get better at the things you're good at, it's more prominent to you, and you're more able to give yourself that self-assurance. When we're good at something, we often say, I'm okay at that. But when you're bad at something, you're like, Oh, I'm the worst, right? Notice that negativity bias creeping in. If you're good at something, you're like, I'm okay. If you're bad at something, you're like, Yeah, I'm the worst. I'm the worst there possibly ever was, right? And we overhype it so hard. So getting better at the things you're good at gives you a sense of competence and confidence that won't come from anything else. And I think often we feel like, Oh, if I got that job, I would feel better. If I was with that person, I would feel better. There's a lot of things we say to ourselves, if this, then that, right? But what about this idea that actually, when I get better, when I develop better skills, when I strengthen these muscles, when I strengthen these focus points, now I actually feel better about myself, right? Instead of waiting for something external to happen to make us feel better, we're taking that into our own hands.

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We're taking accountability. We're taking responsibility We're feeling a sense of my behavior matters, my action matters. We feel a sense of autonomy. We feel a sense of ownership. And that's such a powerful thing that we can help develop. So if you're good at something or someone said you're good at something, go take a course on it. Go do an online program on it. Buy a book about it and study it all weekend. Go to an evening class, whatever it is. Get stuck in. It could be something like pottery. It could be an art class. Maybe Maybe you were great at doing comic book sketches when you are young. It could be a cake baking class, whatever it is, something you enjoy. Again, you'll naturally meet people. Again, you'll naturally be learning. You'll naturally be growing. What happens is you're making all of the areas of your life that you're struggling with easier to do.

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The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is an NAACP and Webby award-winning podcast dedicated to all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help Black women decipher how their past inform who they are today and use that information to decide who they want to be moving forward. We chat about things like how to establish routines that center self-care, what burnout looks and feels like, and defining what aspects of our lives are making us happy and what parts are holding us back. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. And I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care, and we'll see you there.

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Get emotional with me, Radhi DiVlucia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry. We're going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone. We're going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development, and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life. We're going to be talking with some of my best friends.

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I didn't know we were going to go there on this.

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I'm going to go there on this, because people that I admire.

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When we say, Listen to your body, really tune in to what's going on.

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Authors are books that have changed my life.

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Now you're talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right?

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Basically, have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life. I already believe in myself. I already see myself.

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And so when people give me an opportunity, I'm just like, oh, great, you see me, too.

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We'll laugh together, we'll cry together, and find a way through all of our emotions. Never forget, it's okay to cry as long as you make it a really good one. Listen to a really Good Cry with Radhi DiVlucia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much. Like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, We invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Katherine Nikolai, and you might know me from the Bedtime Story podcast, Nothing Much Happens. I'm an architect of Cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default. When you tune in, you'll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustry autumn day, cats and dogs, and rescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites fly, and pretty stones are found. I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world. Listen, relax, enjoy. Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Now, this point, number five, is actually something that I came across last Christmas. And so Radia and I, we always go back to London, and we try and spend a lot of quality time with our family because, of course, we live in another country, and we don't get to see them as much. And so we had taken a little trip to the countryside with our family. And my niece and nephew are eight and four, and they're adorable and wonderful. And my sister-in-law had brought them these coloring books. But when you then finish coloring and you stuck the pieces together, it was an monument for the Christmas tree. Now, I joined in with the activity. I think the whole family did, actually, because we thought we'd had quite a busy run, and this was quite a calming exercise. And then I started looking into some of the research behind it. And I was reading something from Dan Brennan, MD, and he was talking about how actually coloring books are not just for kids. They can be used by adults. And coloring relaxes your brain and improves brain function. He says, When you're coloring, you're focused on the simple activity in front of you.

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This begins to relax your mind and keep your thoughts from intruding. Now, I found that especially when I was coloring in between the lines, when I was trying to do something quite intricate, it was really present work. And he goes on to talk about how it induces a meditative state. He mentions that adult coloring doesn't replace art therapy, but it can be therapeutic for some people. Some studies have shown that focusing on the complex structure of your coloring page can help put your mind into a meditative state. So for those of you that struggle to meditate or struggle to feel like you know how to meditate, this is a great way of just taking a moment to be more present. He also goes on to say how it improves sleep. If you color before bed, Dan Brennan says, you're likely to sleep better than if you scrolled on your phone. Exposure to blue light from your phone or tablet, of course, we know that, can hinder our quality of sleep. But he says, by coloring in a book before bed, instead, you're keeping electronics out of the bedroom, allowing your melatonin level to release naturally as your body gets ready for sleep.

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So there's so many benefits to a simple activity of coloring. Now, I know as adults, we're thinking like, What am I going to color? And I found that when it becomes something practical, like we were making an monument for the tree, or maybe you're creating a birthday card for someone, and you might be thinking, Jay, No one wants a birthday card painted by me. Or maybe it is something that you're doing with your kids, or maybe it is something that you're doing with your niece and your nephew. I remember it being a really wonderful activity. We could all show each other what we did, and everyone chose different monuments, and maybe I did a snowman, and they painted something else. And it was just a really... It's a really special memory that I'm still holding on to as well. And I know it sounds simple, but I think it's going to resonate with some of you. And so I hope you give that a go. This one is something you may have heard, but I'm hoping And I'm hoping that some of the research behind it will change how you feel about it. I was reading a research study that said that since the turn of the millennium, cases of vitamin D deficiency have risen by 490 %.

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That's incredible. Now, there's lots of reasons for that, and here are some of them. The average time outdoors has fallen 14 % between 1970s and 2010s. 16 to 30-year-olds have seen the biggest drop in outdoor time, 20 %, when compared to their age bracket in the 1970s. And of course, the average person watches TV or listens to the radio for 147 minutes per day, an increased of 37 in a minute from time spent in the 1970s. Now, that doesn't surprise me, but it's interesting, isn't it? What can we do to be active while we watch that show? Can we be active at home? Can we be active outdoors while we listen to something? What can we do? I know so many of you, I love, love, love watching all of you out on a walk with your dog, you're cooking while you're listening, some of you are driving while you're listening. And I think if I could encourage you all to just get outdoors, the National Recreation and Park Association says that Whether it's sitting on a park bench or walking local trails, spending 20 to 30 minutes outside reduces stress levels. It's just that 20 minutes outdoors will make a big, big, big difference.

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And I just want you to test it out for seven days. What I want you to do is I want you to choose one of these pieces of insights, and I want you to test them over the next seven days. I just want you to test them for the next seven days and see how your life changes, see what switches up, see what progress or movement you feel in your life. And this one's a big one for me. I'm throwing it in there because I learned a lot about this from the Glucose Goddess, Jessie and Shopeh on the podcast. If you haven't heard that episode, it's amazing. But there's something to said for the connection between sugar and our mood, and she speaks about it with so much great research and insight. But some of the research I came across talked about how one study published in 2017 found that consuming a diet high in sugar can increase the chances of incident mood disorders in men and recurrent mood disorders in both men and women. And a more recent study in 2019 found that regular consumption of saturated fats and added sugars were related to higher feelings of anxiety in adults over 60.

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And not only that, the study goes on to say is that it can weaken your ability to deal with stress. The study goes on to say that sugary foods can actually weaken the body's ability to respond to stress. Sugar can help you feel less frazzled by suppressing the hypothalamic-pichetry-adrenal, HPA axis, in your brain, which controls your response to stress. Researchers at the University of California, Davis found that sugar inhibited stress-induced cortisol secretion in healthy female participants, minimizing feelings of anxiety and tension. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone. So it's interesting to me that if you can monitor your sugar intake, as I said, turn to that expert episode with Jessie and Shopeh. And we start to recognize these connections between mind and body. There can be a lot we can do for our mental health based on what we eat and what we consume. I am sending you lots of love. I hope that you share this episode with a friend. I hope that it's informative to give you some easy, simple ideas that can make a big difference in your life. And remember this, I am forever in your corner, and I'm always rooting for you, and I appreciate you deeply.

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Thanks for tuning in. If you love this episode, you will enjoy my interview with Dr. Daniel Amen on how to change your life by changing your brain. If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain. I've had the blessing or the curse to scan over a thousand convicted felons and over a hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged. For Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm partnering up with the National Alliance of Mental Illness, NAMI. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, there is help. Call NAMI Nami helpline at 800-950-NAMI, or go to www. Nami. Org/help, or text helpline to 62640. For immediate 24/7 crisis support, call or text 988 or visit www. 988lifeline. Org.

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Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much. Like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Katherine Nikolai, and I'm an architect of Cozy. Come spend some time where everyone is welcome and the default is kindness. Listen, relax, enjoy. Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:30:29]

Get emotional with me, Radhi De Vluukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry. We're going to be talking with some of my best friends.

[00:30:35]

I didn't know we were going to go there. I'm not going to go there. I'm not going to go there.

[00:30:39]

People that I admire. When we say, Listen to your body, really tune in to what's going on. Authors of books that have changed my life. Now you're talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy. Never forget, it's okay to cry as long as you make it a really good one. Listen to a really good cry with Radhi De Vluukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Hi, friends. I'm Danielle Robé. And I'm Simone Voice.

[00:31:05]

And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day.

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Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together. Listen to the Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.