Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have an awesome college football preview with our good friend Tom Fornelli. And we also invited Brandon Walker. We, you'll hear at the beginning. We we told Brandon Walker he's gonna be the college football expert this year. He did not know that Tom Frenelli was in the studio. It was great. Brandon Walker was great, too. So awesome. Deep dive with the two of them. Our two favorite college football experts not named any staples.

Yeah, they were very good. Brandon's got a shady track record whenever someone labels him as an expert. Yeah, but he did a good job this time.

It's true. So we also have an interview with our good friend Joey Chestnut, who has a big competition coming up on Monday. Perfect. Perfect. Come down from the football we're going to watch all weekend long. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of things in every college guy's apartment. It is still anyone's Mount Rushmore between Hank and Pft. And then we'll have Fyre Fest. And we're brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. We had the appetizer last week. Now it's time to feast. College football is back. Don't miss any of the action. Jump in at DraftKings sportsbook. It's a full slated games for week one, including the big matchup in Atlanta between the preseason number one and number 16 teams. It's super easy for first timers to get started. Try betting on something simple like picking a team to win. Go to the DraftKings sportsbook app, select your team and place your first bet. This is going to be DraftKings biggest college football season to date. Enjoy the ride now all the way through the expanded playoffs. And for all newbies out there getting into college spirit, here's something extra special. New DraftKings customers bet $5, get 250 in bonus bets instantly.

We're also going to discuss our favorite week one lines during the show. Score big with DraftKings all college football season long. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now and use code take. That's code take for new customers to get 250 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 only on draftkings, the crown is yours.

Gambling problem? Call 1800 Gambler in New York, call 8778 HopE y or text hopen Y 467369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-78-9767 or visit ccpg.org. please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill casino and resort in Kansas. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Boyden, Ontario bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see Dkng dot co ftball.

Okay, let's go. Bar.

And my take.

Yeah. Bar.

And my take.

Yay, barn. And my take. Yeah, part of my take. Welcome to part of my take. Presented by DraftKings. Score big with DraftKings, all college football season long. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now and use code take. That's code take for new customers. Get 250 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 only on draftkings, the crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 30, and football is back. Pft. We're recording this early because pop punk this weekend. Go buy tickets. Philly and Washington, DC. But you finally got your Lindenwood game.

We're Lindenwood tonight, man. I'm heavy on Lindenwood. I have no choice but to bet on that. No, I do like Kansas, but I'm going to have to bet on Lyndon.

That felt like the longest week ever.

It was such a long week. And then with reports that, like, Putin was acting up in Ukraine, I thought maybe world war three would start again and we wouldn't get to the Lindenwood Kansas game. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed, and we made it. Yeah, that is actually a secret phobia of mine every single offseason, and I refer to our off season as football offseason. There are other sports, but I love football, and every year, I'm terrified that the asteroid's gonna happen right. Right before kickoff. So we've got. We still have another week until NFL. Until it's fully football season.

Knock on wood.

Knock on wood. So, asteroid, just mind your own business. Putin, kindly just fuck off for another week.

How many world War threes have almost happened?

A lot.

Feels like in the last two years, it's been.

It's been hundreds. Do you think right after World War one ended, they were like, why do we keep calling this World War one? Yeah, why are we. Does that mean we're gonna do it again?

Weird shit.

Is there a sequel coming?

Oh, fuck. We didn't realize that. We have to do a sequel.

Was this a prequel?

Yeah, that's true. Hank, big news for you. You have a starting quarterback. Yeah. Jacoby Brissette.

Yep. I actually write like Jacoby Brissette a lot. I think he's a good. He's a good quarterback. He'll get you probably eight wins if he starts the entire season.

So you're not going to eat eight.

Jacobi Brissetta speaker three. Jacoby Brissett is an, a sneaky eight win quarterback is a lot for their.

Roster, their offensive line.

I'm just saying Jacoby Brissette is a.

You're going to bet the over for the Patriots win total, which is what?

Five and a half?

Three and a half.

It might be four and a half.

Yeah, I'm going to take the, you know what? I will take the over on that. I actually don't think that they'll win eight games. I'm just saying Jacobi feels like an eight win quarterback guy under the radar. I would be surprised if they won six, seven.

Seven.

Yeah. I'm going to say. I'm going to be stunned. Okay.

Jacoby Brissette, I mean, he seems like a great dude. We got to have him on the show at some point. I like Jacoby Brissette. Hank, are you a little sad, though, that you don't get to be in Jacob Rosette, just not to correct you, has never won eight games because he's.

Never started a full season.

Right. He's gone. He's, well, he has started a full season. Went four and eleven.

Okay.

And they started noticing he won seven games.

That's 15 games.

Seven and eight. Yeah. So, I mean, that's, you couldn't get.

To eight with, you never know.

Four wins and he went four and seven and then not a full, full season. Four and seven and then seven and eight. So he was close. He could have gotten to eight there.

Yeah. He's also, I think he's the best quarterback sneaker of all time. If you look at his, his yards per sneak hack. So you got that going for you.

Yeah.

I'll never forget there was like my first year working on the show, there was a Thursday night football game that Jacoby Brissette started. I think it was, I think it was for the Browns. Browns. Where we started the show saying, and Jacoby Brissette might be the guy.

Yeah, yeah.

I was like, he flashes. Yeah.

Yeah. I think he's, I wouldn't say he's an eight win quarterback. I think he's a get you a couple wins in the, like your starter goes down, Jacoby Rosette comes in. He can tread water. He's a tread water guy. Yeah, he's, he's a, he's a, he's a three and four guy.

Three and four. Three and four is not bad.

Three and four is not bad. He's Treadwater.

Yep.

Like, hey, the season didn't fully fall apart, but we also didn't really win.

I may have gotten over my skis by saying eight wins at the.

I know what you're saying. I want to take five.

I want to take accountability for that. Like, because when you're wrong on this show, it's important to admit that you're wrong. Yeah, I may have been wrong, like, 30 seconds ago, but I'm right when I say that he will get you a few more wins if he starts a full slate, then you would think that he would.

I think the only thing you did wrong was you should have said, he's an eight win vibe guy.

Eight win vibe guy.

Yeah. Might not get you eight wins, but you'll feel like eight wins is possible.

He'll get you eight covers.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. So congrats, Hank. Good job on that. You have a starting quarterback.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Are you feeling like you're going to be missing out on the rookie quarterback excitement that's going to be permeating this podcast?

No, because. Because if things go south for you guys, it's over.

Whereas, no, that's not true.

Patriots are also earning win. Now, the commanders aren't either, but you, for some reason, think they are.

No, I'm wrong with what you just said.

What?

You're wrong.

The bears are definitely.

You don't. You don't. You don't know what it's like to have a rookie quarterback. You are definitely. Things are definitely not over. If things go wrong in the first year, that's when you go, hey, year two is going to be different. Sophomore bump. After year two goes bad, you're going to be like, okay, this might be a problem, but year three, new year, fresh start. And then year three goes bad, and you're like, maybe, though, we should extend them. So really, there's a lot of time before things go over. And you forgot after years yourself, they aren't over.

When year two goes bad, then you get a new offensive coordinator.

Right.

And then you read all the reports of how they're clicking. It's more quarterback friendly.

Maybe an older wide receiver.

Yeah. You get a veteran presence in there, and then you can convince yourself, yeah, he could turn around.

Year three, he just needed some targets.

Yeah, he has, like, a really good performance in the second half of a couple games where they're losing by 30 points, and you're like, you know what? He made a couple really nice throws there.

Yeah. So, no, no, you're wrong. Things are not over.

But I'm not. I don't. I'm not going to get fomo. About Drake may not starting our offensive lines bad. I roster is not great. It's okay. You know, it's a rebuilding year. I just embrace it for what it is.

We'll put. Put a pin in that. Hank, I think mid October you're gonna be like, let's see what the young guys got. Cause that's also part of it. You definitely get to a point where like, hey, can we just.

Yeah, but if young guy to get one in five.

Yeah. You're gonna be like, let's just see what the young guys got.

No. Then you start looking at. Start looking at the draft board. Start paying attention to college football.

Yeah, start paying. Which is back.

I think you're gonna have foMo, though. I think you're gonna see me and big cat so emotionally invested in our quarterbacks, and you're gonna want a taste of that because you're gonna. It's gonna be sad watching Jacobi Brissette go out there and have those covers that, you know, he'll play better than you think he is, but you're going to get sick of losing, and then you're going to say, I just want the excitement of seeing what my guy can do.

I mean, this is loser mentality. I feel like we've talked about it a bunch on the show, but your guys ultimate goal is achieving one. You know, if you could have one fifth of the success that the Patriots had in that 20 year run, you'd be thrilled.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whereas I've felt it. I'm not. You can't. It's impossible to expect those results forever. I would love very happy with the 20 year run we had. If we don't have a good year, I'm not going to be that upset about it. And that might upset people. I don't care.

I would love to be in a position where Patrick Mahomes could just absolutely crush my dreams at the Super bowl. That's what I want. Like, choke me, Daddy. I want, I want, I want. I want to be.

You want him to dom you.

I want to get. I want to be the sub for Patrick mahomes.

It sucks.

No, but it's fun. You get so many fun memories.

No, no, I have no fun memories from that yet.

No, there were some fun memories. Yeah.

We ants.

Jalen hurts. I'll suck his dick right now. Yeah.

The play when you beat the 49 ers when they didn't have a quarterback. That was fun.

And tried to say that that was a real game. That should count.

What do you mean it should count?

It shouldn't have counted.

They should have just replayed the game.

Yes.

Yeah. Until Brock Purdy's elbow was okay. Ah. Do you guys want to do another anonymous poll?

Yeah, I love to.

We should conduct our own anonymous poll at some point.

Okay.

It's all in. It's the rage right now. So anonymous poll time. These are my favorite. I have some good quotes from this. This is NFL agents dish on best and worst franchise.

Yeah.

From the athletic. So they had which is the best run franchise. Max Eagles were number one with tied with the 49 ers. Congratulations.

Let's go. Let's go.

Eagles out 49 ers. Howie. There was a lot of praise for Howie and everything he does. Which is the most unstable franchise? I think this one won't surprise anyone. Most unstable franchise.

Most unstable franchise. The Carolina Panthers.

That is correct. A resounding number one with the Carolina Panthers because David Tepper, he's, if he's got one fan, it's Peter Schrager. Yeah, that's about it.

There's no, he can't buy any of the other owners houses and bulldoze them to the ground.

Yeah. The quote actually was, I think the headline for this section should be that for the first time in my career, most NFL organizations are relatively competent. Wow. How about that is a direct dance. We would have voted Dan Snyder if he was there.

It's actually nice not being on that list. Really?

Yeah.

And I actually could see if the, if the packers were to beat the Panthers multiple times in the playoffs, I could see David Tepper buying all the Green Bay packers owners homes and leveling them and building his own home there. Yeah, he's that kind of guy. But yeah, it's nice to have a new boogeyman.

I want to do something else here. Blind poll. Blind quote. So I'm going to take out anything that describes what team this is talking about. You guys tell me the team. You ready for this? There is complete disarray over there. Look at how they've handled. Blank has one player had more power than him. They have been unable to convert him into a team player. The vibe inside the building is terrible. Jets. That's correct.

Well, I would. The jets, they're not in disarray. They're out of formation, if you know anything about jets. But this is actually accurate describing Aaron Rodgers having the most power. He's got the most power in the NFL.

So memes should what how do we find this? We got it. We got to find out who this blind polar was.

Rossini.

No, I. It was. I think it was g. I think it was. Maybe it was. Let's see who was voted. Let's get this name. Uh, let's see. The athletics. 31 representatives of our 6th annual NFL agent survey. So, agents. We need to find some agents.

It was an anonymous agent.

It was an anonymous agent that said, the jets are in complete disarray over there. Look at how they've handled. Aaron Rodgers has one player had more power than him. He skipped minicamp. They've been unable to convert him into a team player. The vibe inside the building is terrible.

I'm gonna go out on a limb, and I think that this anonymous agent might represent Hassan Reddick.

Hmm. Well, it's 31 of them.

Okay, well, if you.

But that quote.

Yeah. If you can't trust an anonymous agent, who can you trust?

That's true. So, memes, we find who this racini is. Bunch of solar. This Florio is all 31 of them. Be better at your job. This was a fun one. What average annual value would three times Super Bowl MVP Patrick Holmes receive if you were free agent on the open market?

80 mil.

So the most common answer was 70 mil. But there were six people who voted for over a hundred million dollars.

Holy shit.

Crazy.

Can you even build a team?

I don't know.

I don't. I don't know if that's possible. I saw that Deshaun Watson just restructured his contract, and I think next season and the year after, he's going to get, like, the. The cap hit is going to be $74 million.

Oh, my God.

On him. Which I saw what the Browns did. I do not understand the salary cap. No, it's not real.

It makes no sense.

It can't be real. So they had him signed to a guaranteed contract, and they said, we're going to restructure, convert it to a signing bonus. We just freed up, like, $70 million. They have the most cap room in the NFL right now. It doesn't make any sense at all. If you sign a guy to, like, a very unfriendly cap deal, and then a year and a half later, you can be like, actually, it's a really good deal for the cap this season. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

Yeah. And we can cut him whenever. And his money's not real. I do like playing that game, though. If there was no salary cap whatsoever, what would he make? 250 million a year.

No salary cap. No salary Patrick Mahomes.

You'd still chief should still run an organization where they want to make money. But like, it's, it's the old, when LeBron was in his heyday, like, what would, what is he actually worth? Like, I don't know, 300 million.

Yeah. If the NFL was truly free market capitalism, it might, he might go to the, to the Pantherse.

Yeah.

David Tepper. They might turn this ship around.

Yeah, you're right. Okay. We also had, I think there was the team, their most Urs team who had best offseason. That was the commanders.

Let's go. Offseason champs.

Commanders won that. They said basically just everything. The vibes have changed. They don't have Rogers.

Yep. Yeah.

All that stuff.

No.

Aaron Rodgers is a big one.

Yeah.

Sign Nick Balori.

Nick Balori. We signed that. The wide receiver from, from Houston. We unfortunately cut Martavis Bryant.

Yeah.

Which you found out in the middle of the. Jerry O'Connell.

I still think we could bring him back.

You're getting Iuk.

Yeah, we're gonna get Iuk.

What's that? When's that gonna happen?

So Iuk was, he was supposed to practice yesterday. There was a report out of San Francisco. He was gonna practice. And then all the reporters just went out onto the practice field and just watched for Brandon Ayuk to come out and he never did. So things aren't going great with whatever they're negotiating out there. I don't, I just. Brandon Iuk is just, he's reached the point where I just want it to be over.

Yeah.

I want to know what's going to happen with him this year.

Yeah.

And the back and forth is, it's gone way too long.

Yeah. The last thing that I found funny about this poll, because this is, again, agents, they asked what they should change. This is NFL agents. They should say college players should be allowed to enter. The draft is a one and done. That's interesting.

Yeah.

Want to get more players to be able to represent. They all said add rounds to the draft.

That's not necessary.

Okay.

Well, because think about it. If you're an agent, don't you want there to be like seven rounds is okay. You might even want six rounds because if you're 7th round pick, you'd almost rather just be able to choose where you want to go.

Yeah.

And negotiate your own signing bonus at that point.

These are just funny. Like, how could you make a perfect world and they're. Here's another one. Any three, any three years or less contract should be fully guaranteed. I'm fine with that.

That's good.

Shrink the length of rookie contracts so players can get to a second contract quicker. Again, this is, has nothing to do with the agents making money for running backs for her. Well, they said that the change the running back to fix the running back thing is to have the one and done or college players donut state three years, which I agree with.

Yeah.

Like if you, if you're a really good running back, usually you find out if you're a really good running back within the first two years, why add that extra wear and tear?

I agree. Also, I like the idea of being a one and done in college just to piss off Davos. 20 more.

Yeah. Yes.

He would hate. He might actually, he might commit seppuku at the 50 yard line with his own cleat.

Yes.

That happens. He's like, I'm sacrificing myself at the altar of college football.

This one. Actually, I agree with separate salary bucket for quarterbacks. That makes sense. Yeah. Basically let the quarterbacks get paid something completely separate. So it doesn't, again, the cap is. Doesn't make sense, but they're so out of control compared to everything else. You do a separate bucket where it's like, you know, every team has a hundred million dollars or whatever, and then the rest of the roster is under a salary cap.

I don't mind that. I like the idea of having that separate bucket for quarterbacks and also for running backs.

Yeah.

I think that the zoom call that they did last year really changed my mind about things.

It did big time. And then. Yeah, there was just another one that was raised rosters to 60 players on game day.

Okay.

Again, that would be. They just be able to represent more NFL players.

Yeah. So that I stand with the anonymous agents.

Yes.

Doing a poll of anonymous agents is such a funny thing.

Very funny.

It's like, let's figure out which, how these guys want to make more money.

Raise the agent fees to 25%.

I stand with the agents on that one.

Oh, yes. Those anonymous polls. I love anonymous polls. Should conduct one.

Yeah, let's do it.

We should conduct one. We should come up with one maybe mid season. And we can do like about how the season is going and have all the AWS vote on it and then just release the findings like their facts.

Or we just ask our friends that are in the NFL to vote in the polls.

We just ask people in the office.

Yeah, we could do that too.

We should do anonymous polls around the office.

Yeah. There was also a report about Tom Brady, Hank's best friend Tom Brady.

Oh.

So he is trying to purchase a stake in the Raiders, which I think that's progressing. I feel like we have a vote about that.

Thought he did.

Weeks.

So he's wearing a Raiders hat at the Morgan wall concert.

Oh, was he? Mm. Interesting. So, is he already, like, officially? Officially?

I don't know anything other than that. I just assumed that meant that it was happening.

So there's a rule that the place. Because he's gonna be doing games. He's gonna be calling games now.

Right.

Where, as an owner, he's not going to be allowed to do any, like, pre production or behind the scenes visits with any of the teams that he's gonna be covering.

Right.

Because he's going to get some, like, secret sauce from them or something, and that's going to be against the rules.

He's going to use that. That's pretty much what Troy Aikman has been doing for the last 20 years to make sure the Cowboys stay on top.

Yeah. And it's done an incredible job, and so they don't want to repeat that with the Raiders, and Florio is all over this, by the way, Hank, he said this is the opening paragraph from his article about it.

Such a Florio story.

Tom Brady's first significant encounter with the Raiders happened in the Tuck rule game. The latest developments.

Wow, he's really setting the stage there.

Oh, just wait. Just wait, cuz, like, okay. He's setting you up right now.

Yeah.

Tom Brady's first significant encounter with the Raiders happened in the Tuck rule game. The latest developments involving Brady and the Raiders could have him saying a different word that ends with uck.

Whoa. Suck Bach.

Is he making a doc? Is he making a Judas joke? Is this the c. Is he going.

To p f changes Mark Davis and getting the duck?

Cuck, I think he's talking about.

Yeah, got it.

Facebook.

Florio doesn't know that word.

Zuck.

Florio does not know the word cuck.

I don't think he does either, but.

He'S an italian man. He doesn't get cucked.

But it seems like. It seems like Brady. I don't know. Florio was saying that the league is trying to convince Brady not to have a stake in the Raiders.

Got it.

I don't think Roger Goodell would overstep his balance when it comes to punishing Tom Brady. No, that doesn't seem like it'll let.

The finance bros come running in.

Oh, yeah.

I.

Right.

Yeah.

The Bangles bros.

The Bengals were the only team that voted against that. They just love being the one team.

That's Mike Brown stuff.

Yeah.

I actually feel bad for Bengals fans right now because obviously, Jamar Chase is. I think. I think he was supposed to be at practice. He's like, oh, yeah, he's gonna practice for the rest of the week or up until week one, and then he showed up in street clothes. I feel bad for Bengals fans because Mike Brown is so, so cheap. And he was like, I have to pay Joe Burrow. And then once he paid Joe Burrow, he's like, no, I'm never doing that again. Mm hmm. It sucks.

Yeah.

He's like, jamar Chase and Joe Burrow should play together forever.

Yeah, he's right now house poor.

Right?

Like, I spent all my money on Joe Burrows, so I'm not spending a dime on anything else.

It's crazy. I don't understand. I get, like, you want to own the team and you have the power. You feel like a big, strong guy, but, like, dude, I. If you can't fucking pay, and if you. If you. If you're gonna be cheap, just fucking sell the team and go be rich and fuck off. Yeah, stew it. Like, I mean, the McCaskeys are kind of similar, although I. I'm back on the McCaskey side because they kept swearing out of hard knocks, which was very important.

That's good.

Yeah. They made sure there was no swearing on the. On hard knocks because it would. You can't have that.

Not in football.

Not in football.

No. Not in. Not NFL.

No. All right, before we do Mount Rushmore, I also saw Ravens GM sees increased urgency in Lamar. So that's good.

Good. Yeah. He wasn't urgent enough. That was the problem.

There's urgency.

Talking about urgent care, that's one of my favorite.

If you're a fan of a team that has been close but hasn't gotten over the hump, where the. Like, sometime in late August where you get reports being like this, they really feel the pressure to win. They really want to win this year.

Yeah. There was a interview with Caleb Williams. It might have been your guys waddling Sylvie that did it, but they were talking about pressure. They're like, do you feel any pressure? And he was like, no, I don't. I don't. I never feel pressure.

Yeah.

I just think about the expectations that I have for myself, that I have to go out there and be the best and win. He described pressure.

Yeah.

But he just doesn't call it pressure.

He doesn't call it pressure.

It's a good. It's a good move. It's a judo move.

It's very smart.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, I'm not anxious. I've just got a lot to do tomorrow.

Yeah. I just got a lot on my mind, and I want to make sure that everything happens, and then I keep going through the worst case scenario of what could happen, and then I overthink that, and then I try to go to sleep, but I can't because I'm thinking about it too much.

Yeah.

But anxiety is not a word of my.

It's a chick thing.

Yeah.

Yeah. We don't have. We don't get anxious here. Yeah. We just. We just constantly think about the future and. And if everything's going to work out.

Yeah. There was a great college football story, too. Did you see this about Chuck Martin from. I think it was University of Miami at Ohio?

Okay. Love and honor.

Yep. They were talking about iPads and how iPads are going to be on the sidelines in college football this year. And he is the only guy that voted against using iPads on the sideline. He said, I don't want iPads. In the old days, you actually had to coach. You had to watch the action, figure out what was going on, and then go make adjustments. I can get a nine year old kid to watch the play on an iPad and say, that guy was running wide. Open up the scene. We should cover him.

I agree with him.

And then he said at the end that you used to have to make in game adjustments, but now the iPad will make them for you. Pretty soon, there will be robots on the sidelines, and you won't even have to hire anyone. Soon we'll have fake officials, fake players, fake coaches.

Yep.

So, he described NCAA. Yeah, he described the college football.

Yes, yes. I agree with him. Nothing worse than having someone watch you. I'm speaking from a lot of experience. Having someone watch you be like, x was open.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Also, kids these days, as they get into college, they're used to having screen time to just make them shut up at dinner.

Right?

Like, oh, are you. Are you gonna annoy us for this entire dinner? Just watch this game. Just play this game on your iPad the whole time. So that's gonna make its way into college football, where coaches are just gonna get sick of their players complaining about stuff. Be like, here, just watch this iPad of the game, and. And you'll be fine. And it'll just kind of bring the temperature down on the sidelines.

Yeah.

If they can just have screen time.

Credit to me, I don't I don't have my kids watch at dinner. I just, it's just basically a constant terrorist negotiation with being like, hey, you. You take one bite of this and you're getting an Oreo.

That's pretty good.

That's it. That's the whole thing. That's pretty constant negotiation back and forth.

Yeah, but I do. I like what Chuck, what's his name? Chuck Martin. I like what Chuck Martin saying. Pretty soon we're just not going to have coaches and players anymore.

He's right.

He's right.

He's absolutely right.

It's a slippery slope. You allow them to look at an iPad on the sideline.

Guys. Guys be marrying pigs.

Next thing you know, people, there's not even going to be football anymore. We're going to be living in a simulation.

Where's the line? Yeah, where's the line? All right, so speaking of college football, you guys got any picks for people? Let's just do a pick for week one. We're going to talk our full preview with Brandon Walker and Tom for Nelli in a second. And we go through everything, but what's your favorite game week one? Hank?

I look to the board, saw the one that jumped out. Eastern Michigan plus 2.5.

Why did that jump out?

Because UMass football should never be favorites against anyone.

Okay.

Okay. The offense, don't they have a really hard schedule this year?

Umass?

Yeah.

Any game that they have is hard.

Every, every year is a hard sketch.

I think they're, they're real sickos this year. I want to say that they've got like. Are they playing it several games against the SEC?

I mean, they probably usually always play.

One against the SEC.

Yeah. By the way, go to draftkings for any of your week one lines. All right, so Eastern Michigan, huh?

Eastern Michigan plus two and a half.

Okay.

Pft, they're playing Georgia, November 23.

Oh, no. Yikes.

Oh, no. They're playing Mississippi State. I guess they're technically Missouri. Missouri. Yeah, they're sickos.

There's like. Pft.

I like the University of Richmond. The Spiders. I like the Spiders. Going into Charlottesville playing uva 18 and a half. That's too many points.

Too many points.

These guys get paid to play football, too, at Richmond.

Although that Uva quarterback, I kind of like him. He's got, he's got aura.

Does he have.

He's a guy who, he gets helmet popped off last year and he, like, took a picture, like, flexing for a first down.

Does he have aura or does he have moxie?

Both, I would say. And this is also because of our friend and colleague, Jake Malsec, always tweeting this picture. So it's. It could be that he sucks and I have been brainwormed by those close around. You talking about someone? Calandria.

Oh, Calandra.

Okay. I like.

I still like Richmond. Don't. Don't count out the spiders early on the season, okay. Because they're gonna get. They're gonna get on the bus, they're gonna drive from Richmond to Charlottesville, and they're gonna have their coach say to them as they get off the bus, just remember these guys at Uva, nobody there recruited you, and then Richmond's gonna step off and smash them.

Yeah.

I like that. Yeah. Anthony Calandria, he finished the season with. He only won one game last year, but he's got a horror.

Okay.

Yeah.

You have been tricked into, like. Into supporting you.

I'm looking at his numbers right now. It's. It's there. He had 13 touchdowns, nine interceptions. He finished the season. I guess he did. They beat Duke. That was probably why I've been tricked. So they won his second to last game last year. I have been tricked. I have been brainwormed. It's going to cost me money.

Hoodwinked. Bamboozled.

Yes. Let astray. I'm gonna take USC. I've given it on all the college football shows, have done the. This is gonna probably be a disaster because it's a Sunday night standalone game.

Yep.

So, yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna be like, hey, remember when I just was like, yeah, USC. USC. Just wait for Sunday night. USC. Hey, memes, how. How are you feeling about your Georgia Bulldogs this year? I'm feeling fantastic. They're gonna beat the absolute fuck out of Clemson. Okay.

Like that.

I want to see some memes Georgia stuff this year because it is. You are kind of. What's it. What's the guy. The two faced guy in Batman?

Two Face.

Two Face. Is that his name?

Harvey Dent.

Harvey Dent. You're Harvey Dent. Yeah. You get the jets in Georgia? Yeah. Just you people see and you're like, oh, that's a normal looking guy. And then you turn and your face is completely off. And. Because Florio and Rossini have burnt it so many times. Yeah. My weekends go Saturday.

Good.

Cause Georgia wins. Come in, watch jets. They lose, and then a miserable the rest of the week. And then it goes Saturday when on repeat. Yeah. Yes. You only get like, 12 hours.

Yeah.

You have. You have Saturday scaries.

Yes.

Like Saturday night. You're feeling good. You're having a great time, and they're like, oh, fuck, I got jets tomorrow.

I gotta do this.

I gotta go to jets tomorrow.

I just watched a competent team. Now I gotta go back to the jets.

Yeah, there's a.

You're basically like a child of divorce, and you go to the. You go for, like, one day to dad's house and play all these games, and you go to mom's house, and there's a lot of rules.

You just want to go back. You're. Yeah, but Georgia. But Georgia scores points.

Yeah, but, yeah, Georgia lets me. Cheetos in bed. Why can't I do that here, mom. Jets.

It's the best. So, memes, you're not. You usually haven't been as over the top as a Georgia fan. Is that because they're an adopted team or is that because you just. You always have that impending doom of being a Jets fan?

Um, I adopted them in junior high when I got a Matthew Stafford jersey sent to me. My uncle lives down there, so they are adopted, but I still root for them equally as all the other teams. Okay.

Also, being from the northeast, it's like no one really has college teams. Like, every. Most people from the northeast have adopted me.

A real Georgia fan. I'm gonna. I'm gonna back him up. He watches every game. He knows every player, and then he roots them on the Eagles. We have a big Georgia representative at Barcelona. It's me, Ryan, Whitney, and Triggs. Yeah. All northeast guys.

Yeah. Real southerners, real sec guys.

Hey, isn't it crazy? Like, the Georgia team memes from two, three years ago that won the national three years ago? Like, all those players on the defense. Like, there's a lot of guys that kind of suck in the pros.

Like who?

I saw Lewis scene, right? He got cut.

Yeah.

Which there's no worse having anything, say, former first rounder. Yeah, that's a bad thing to have when it's phrased that way. Former first rounder gets cut. That means that something bad has happened.

Wonder what went wrong.

Isn't. I mean, Nicobi Dean has. He played a lot.

He's just been hurting.

He's been hurt a lot.

Third rounder.

No. Yeah. I'm not saying where they were, but, like, if you look at the Georgia defense, it was so dominant three years ago.

Jalen Carter.

Jalen Carter has been good. Memes, am I off on this Georgia Ross? Well, Lucy Scene just signed with the.

Jets, so they're going to revive him.

I thought he switched to the bills. No, the jets.

The Jets are going to Mike White's on the bills.

Okay, maybe I'm. Who was the other? There was a couple guys. This might be very wrong. We'd have to maybe do a deep dive for me. Memes in.

They were, they were supposed to be the best team in the history of college football.

Lewis seen sign with the Bills? No, the jets. Okay, I'm reading right now. Ian rapport. The Bills are actually signing former Vikings first round safety Lewis scene to the practice squad.

This has jet signing.

Many thought scene would land with the jets.

Oh, no.

Wait.

What? Oh, no, wait.

Did the jets turn him around by.

Oh, no.

Letting the Bills sign him?

Wait, did this just happen? I mean, I'm seeing from 3 hours ago.

Hours ago. Bill's practice.

Plot twist. Former Vikings first rounder is expected to sign with the Bills practice squad. Oh, no. He had initially leaned towards jets, but opts to go elsewhere to the AFC east. Is the vibes? Are the vibes terrible?

Georgia fan revoked.

Oh, I think. I think this is an example of disarray. This is a team that would be a team that is in disarray would do something.

Wow.

Yeah.

Oh, no. Memes, I'm sorry that you had to find this out right here, right now. That was a perfect rabbit hole. We just went down to get to this point. Oh, my God.

Sorry for your loss, memes. Memes, did you, did you already order the jersey?

Oh, man. Yes. You're pretending like this was a make or break player. I mean, we had ten former first rounders on the defense.

That's cool.

Oh, that would have been sick. Wait, would he have made eleven? No, he was ten. Oh, that would have been awesome.

Like the falcone from back in the day.

Yeah, the offense. Yeah, that would have been sick. Now I am kind of bummed for you.

Sorry, memes.

Sorry, memes.

There's a great story that's coming out of, out of Gainesville. Have you seen what's going on with the game between the Gators and the Hurricanes?

No.

All right, so the University of Florida announced that they were going to do a whiteout for this game, which I guess they rarely do, but it's like, you know, opening week. Let's get all the students wearing white. Let's get all the fans wearing white. Make it a tough environment. Miami then responded by choosing to wear their all white uniform. Oh, so they completely took the white from Florida, and now they own that whiteout game. Oh, now this is a university of Miami whiteout game.

Oh, no.

Yeah. It's shocking that is shocking.

So wait, so it's gonna be. So who gets the whites?

So Florida is going. Their fans are gonna be wearing all white.

Okay.

But the Hurricanes are going to be dressed in all white on the field.

Got it.

So it's going to look.

Oh, that's getting very confusing.

Very confusing. I think they completely lost home field advantage on this.

Oh, no. Yeah, they did lose home field advantage. That's, that's significant. Yeah, that feels significant. What are you looking up? Oh, you look it up, Max.

We're just looking at all the players.

And how many are, like, crushing it? Cause that was an insane defense. It's not taking anything away from their college defense.

Looks like they were Trayvon Walker and Jalen Carter. Or were the two, or the two that are.

That you could be like. Yeah, because that wasn't walker. Pain. Insane defense. And I, and I only thought of it because I saw Lewis scene was. Was going to the jets. He went to the jets. Right.

He went to the jets initially, but then he changed his mind and went to the bills. Yeah.

Verbal meme. Aaron Rogers walking out the flag was Louis seniors.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

It's a tough scene.

Oh, no. Okay, let's do our Mount Rushmore. Let's do our Mount Rushmore. Before we get to Mount Rushmore, we're brought to you by our friends at game time. Game time football season is here and we can't wait to get out some games this fall with the help of game time, the official ticketing partner, Barstool sports. Actually, PfT, can you look up the game you might be attending?

Yes.

You know how much we love game time. Now with their brand new game time picks feature, they're making it even easier to get to a game. Game time picks filter out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. PfT was looking at maybe going to the Bengals versus commanders Monday Night football game.

Monday Night football game. Incense, he looks like the get in price. $111.

Love it.

September 23.

Yup. And you can use the game time pick steal for great seats for that game. $111. Just pull up your chosen event and turn on gt picks setting at the top of the screen. Or browse the best local game time picks deals near you on your game time app homepage. What are you waiting for? I'm going to buy those. Or Pft is going to buy those. Bengals versus commanders Monday Night football game. Download the game time app today. Use code PMT to easily score great deals. New game time picks. What time is it? It is game time. So thank you to game time. We're also brought to you by our friends at Morgan and Morgane. Listen, we all know 2024 has been wild so far, so let's talk about something important. If you get injured by a person, place or thing, you deserve to get paid. Life can be crazy sometimes and one person's negligence can result in another settlement. If you're in an accident, not calling a lawyer means you could be leaving money on the table. When you're seriously hurt, your injury could be worth millions. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan.

Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1000 lawyers with over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy. Being in the jets locker room with Aaron Rodgers is hard.

Disarray.

Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. Being a Jets Georgia fan is hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. So if you've ever been injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to for the people PMT or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. That's f o r the people.com PMT or pound law pound five two nine from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Okay, boys, it all comes down to this. PFT and Hank are separated by three points, which means if Hank can win this Mount Rushmore and PFt somehow comes in last, we will have a tie and figure out what exactly we're going to do to break that tie. We have the Mount Rushmore of things in a college guy's apartment. Correct.

What are the standings right now?

The stand.

I know I'm up three on Hank.

Yeah.

You have no chance at coming in second right now.

No, I've been kind of mailing them in because of the standing.

What thought as of, as of.

Oh, no.

Today's poll, you could have come in third.

Oh, I could come in third? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I've. As soon as I clinched, I was, I went with Max autopilot.

You clinched not last place.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Second and third mean nothing.

No, I've also, Clive, also click where. I don't know where these, when these standings were.

Second place means nothing.

Max, in this competition.

No competition.

Second place means you keep bringing up second place.

It seems like you're, you're gunning for big cat.

You brought that matter.

Yeah, why does it matter?

What, Hank? Are you trying to, you trying to stir the pot a little bit?

Have you not brought it? Max? He brought up to you. He's brought up to me.

No, he has not brought it up to me. But it does seem like your true, you care a lot about second place, which means nothing.

Well, I guess they don't in this.

Because you asked for standing.

The only thing that matters.

It's not like second to last and last place to the punishment. Like in the baseball one, right?

Correct. And even if that was the case, you still wouldn't want second even more.

You just wouldn't want to be second to last. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah. This what, what the second place. Second and third place mean? Absolutely. The minute I clinched.

Yep.

I was like, great. Pack it up. I'm out. Awesome. Mount Rushmore season. Did my job.

Yeah, I was talking about the baseball one where if you're second to last, it's not good.

No, we do an NFL picks where come in second.

Yes.

And last.

And last, you lose.

I. Someone messaged me this week of pretty idea that I like of next year doing a lottery system.

What do you mean?

Like lottery? Like, like the NBA lottery.

For what?

So for doing the punishment. So if you come in last, you get like a ton of lottery balls to get picked to do the punishment.

Oh, I do like, yeah. Yes. I love that. That is a great idea.

I think if you get, if you come in first, you're out.

But no, I think first you'd have like one lottery.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It should be a hundred lottery balls. We could just do it with our lottery ball.

I wish I could.

Yeah. It's like if you come in, if you come in last, you have 40 lottery balls. If you come in third to third, you have 30 lottery balls, then 20, then ten or whatever it is. Yeah.

I love idea.

I love that. I love that great idea.

Because you and I have just been checked out.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You have to get you, you should. We should incentivize. There shouldn't be a. Just playing out the string.

Yeah. You guys doing load management now?

Yeah, basically you're right.

For the playoffs, pretty much. Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try though, in this one. Max, we should. We gotta try in this way. Yeah, we have, we have to, we have to give it. We don't want it to.

Right.

Have any issues. All right, so who's going first?

Oh, I think it's me.

Okay, so things that are in a single guy's apartments, college guys apart, Carl. College guys apartments. Excuse me.

I am going to go with liquor bottle decor one.

Yeah, good pick.

Yeah. Any sort of alcohol.

I just have empty liquor bottles.

Yep. Yeah.

Just like this.

You put it around.

Yep.

Like, look how many empty bottles that we have in this house.

Yep.

Yeah. You ever put, like, Christmas lights into the liquor bottles and then use those bougie for us decorations, but they're like shitty liquor bottles.

Yep.

Like aristocrat vodka. This is my centerpiece.

Yep.

All right, my first pick. I'm gonna go with a almost empty keg. Just having a keg in a corner somewhere.

Okay.

And there's not enough beer in it to drink. It's probably been warm for about two weeks. But you still have the keg there because you can take it back, get the deposit, get refilled at some point, but it's not totally empty yet.

Yep. Okay, I'll go with easy. I'm Xbox and P's five. And specifically both, because that's like a very college guy thing to be. Like, we got both gaming systems, and it's just like, you don't need to, but we have both. We have one Xbox guy. One P's five guy in here.

Do you like PS two when you're in college?

Ah, that's really funny. I actually had Xbox 360. Why don't you go fuck yourself? I rump. I dealt with the red ring of death. So did I. Oh, so we're not that much different.

I was curious.

You said P's five.

Obviously never P's five in college.

I just. Well, I mean, what am I. All right, fine. I should say PlayStation two was. It was an Xbox 360.

But you just said specifically both.

No, I think Xbox and PlayStation.

We just say Xbox. I'm saying boat. I'm saying, like, every college apartment, like, when you get older, you don't have two consoles in your house.

Got it?

When you're in college, you have two consoles. Because why the fuck nothing?

Yeah, yeah. Usually one guy brings. Yeah, another guy brings.

Now, it's a very college thing to have two of the consoles.

I did have a PS three in my apartment in college at one point, but it's because we were broke as shit, and so we all pulled our money together. I waited in line for, like, three days to get a PlayStation three, and I was like, I'm gonna buy it. Then I'm gonna flip it right before Christmas. These things are going for, like, ten, $15,000. I get it. And then I put it online. Turns out that they're going for ten, $15,000 because they haven't come out yet. And then once I put mine online and everybody else did, I think I ended up losing $50.

Yeah.

After three days of us taking turns waiting in this line. But, yeah.

Ps two, PS three, Xbox 360 was for, I don't know, five, six years of my life was definitely the most expensive thing I owned. And it was. I remember I look, I watched the video to try to fix the red ring of death with the hairdryer. The whole thing.

Can't do it.

Can't do it, can't do it.

Okay, I'm gonna go with full size trash cans.

Yes. I love it. I miss it so much. Only to take out the trash, like, once every month. Two of them. I had two of them.

Or you can burn it.

Sometimes we would not even. We'd run out of trash bags that got gross.

We used to call it.

I was.

I. We just called a trash corner.

Yeah.

Where we would. We would have our trash can there, and then it would overflow, so it would just fall out the side. So it just. It was just the corner trash.

Yeah.

And I'll go with a massive bong.

Ah, okay.

Added on the list.

Yeah. Good pick. The community bong.

I was gonna go bong.

Very, very good picking.

I'm gonna go with a shittily made beer pong table somewhere in the middle of the apartment. Very sticky. Gross.

Also probably the kitchen table.

Yeah, could be the kitchen table. But, you know, I'm thinking.

Yeah, doubles.

I'm thinking of this skinny one. You know, that everyone, like, the rage of the skinny one was like, oh, it doesn't take up that much space. And you just had a, like, oh, yeah, look, we have a football field table in the middle of the apartment.

It could be made from plywood. Like, one big plywood that. Yeah, Home Depot. And then you put it on some chairs. Could be just a door. We took a door off the hinges one time, but it stays up and then it stays up.

Yeah.

We used to use the mirrors in freshman year. We take the mirror, the. The big sliding. Uh. What word am I looking for? It's a closet mirror.

Yeah.

We just take those doors off, and that was what we do.

It's very nice.

Yeah.

All right, I'm going to go with a beer bong.

Mmm.

A beer bong that you just got hanging out all the time.

Mm hmm.

Never put it away. Usually stays maybe on the tv stand, just to the side of the tv.

Mm hmm.

But you're ready for beer bong at any moment because you never know.

Right.

You got to be prepared. You'd rather have a beer bong and not need it, then need a beer bong and not have it.

Right. Agreed. Also, some kind of, like, mildew, some kind of mold. And you're like, I'll be fine. Yeah. Just run, pour. Ever clear down it.

Run hot water through. Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna stick with the core. I was. My mind went to decor when we were doing this. This Mount Rushmore.

So you are. Interior design is your passion.

Yes. So I'm just gonna go with flags.

Yeah.

Like, no matter. American flag, Saturn's it for the boys.

Flag. Yeah.

Frat flag.

Yep.

I don't even know if frat flag was thing. I wasn't in a frat, but I feel like that was good because you could just fill up so much space and be like, oh, yeah, we did decoration. There's a flag.

The best was the flag on the ceiling in your bedroom to set the mood. Yep.

That was good.

Yeah, set the mood.

And then the girls had the little. The tapestry. The weird tapestry things.

Yeah. The beds with the posts, you're saying. Yeah, yeah.

It's ridiculous how much more nicely decorated girls apartments are in college.

Oh, yeah. It's not even like, they're real people.

They get the lights.

Yep.

They get everything.

Yeah. They go to Ikea and spend, like.

Cork boards with shit on it.

Yeah. Pictures everywhere. It always smells nice.

Yep.

They have towels that aren't beach towels in their bathrooms.

Yep.

And continuing. Continuing with the core beer case wallpaper.

Yeah. Love that. That was awesome.

Yep. Everyone would spend, like, the entire semester being like, yo, can I get your case? I get your case. I'm trying to make something. I'm trying to make something.

I.

The one year. Once. One year I went to college, I did have the sickest wall.

Yeah.

My dad gave me. It was, like, from an old taco bell drive through neon sign. So that was in the middle of the wall, and then it was just beer. Beer case wallpaper around it.

There's another.

Remind me that, like, see, the sign was. It was literally, like, the sign they would have, like, on the freeway. So it was massive. So you could, like, see it from the cafeteria, like, 500 yards away.

That's awesome. People probably thought that there was a taco bell in that room.

Yeah.

Yeah. Good pick. I have some. I have something else. I.

Else.

If I would like to table that discussion, I have something else. If it doesn't get picked, circle back. Circle back. Okay.

So is it me?

Yeah.

All right, I'm going to go with Bob Marley poster. Mmm.

Okay.

Bob Marley poster. Doesn't matter if you like Bob Marley or not. I knew a lot of guys that had Bob Marley posters that maybe listened to jammin once or twice, weren't really fans, but it was just the vibe. If you had one, it's like, you're not a cop, you're cool.

The only reason I kept that one off my list was that was a dorm more than apartment. I feel like when you graduate to apartment, it felt a little different.

I think more.

You've more flags.

Thank you. Bring it with you.

More flags. Okay, I. This one. Who knows how this will play, but I mean, it's just everyone has the shittiest couch possible. Like you. You. I don't. I don't remember. My couches were so bad.

I had broken furniture, which is kind of the same thing.

And also, like, two extra couches.

One of the biggest days of my life was when the.

We.

We lived next to a halfway house and we got like, the best couch ever that they had discarded of because drunk, I had pissed all over it. And we're like, fucking fuck, yeah. We'll just flip over the cushion.

We'll just clean it.

Yeah.

This is incredible. Yeah.

When you guys went to college for four years, I had went to college for one year and then had three to four years of visiting my friends at college. So I slept on all those couch.

Yes.

And they were.

They were horrible also. They were all like, way too big, but like, in a good way. Like, I felt like every couch we'd get was just so shitty, but it would have like, three pieces to it and could sit like ten people deep and big, but terrible. I miss those shitty couches. Cuz you just could. You could spill. Literally, you could just spill directly on it and just be like, who cares?

You ever go to, like, a doctor's office and they've got dorm room furniture in their waiting room?

Yeah.

That's a sign you should leave that doctor.

Yes. Agree.

All right, my last two. I'm gonna go with expired food.

Fuck. That's good one.

All right.

Good job.

It's a good job, Hank.

And then, similar to Max's decor, sports jerseys hung on the wall.

Yeah.

Okay.

Cuz, like, it won't even. Sometimes it'll be, you know, your favorite team, but sometimes it'll just be like your high school jersey.

Yeah.

And you just, like, put a pin.

Yeah.

You just put two thumbtacks, and then it's like, you know, I'd be at people's colleges where it's like, just, you know, the random kids. Like hockey high school jerseys.

Yeah.

But a whole wall.

Okay. This last one, I'm gonna go with something. I just. Just doing this Mount Rushmore, doing this exercise, I realized that, like, it's something that I only had in my life for this short period of time. Way too many mismatched shot glasses. Just everywhere. Shot glasses. I don't have shot glasses in my life anymore.

I still have a drawer.

You do?

And I never use the drawer, but.

Just, like, you know, there's one from spring break.

Yeah.

This bar. And you just. You in college. I think if you asked me, like, hey, can we do 50 shots? Like, no problem. I got 50 shot glasses.

Yeah, guys don't keep diaries.

Yeah.

We just accumulate shot glasses from different places that we've been. And then you. Oh, yeah. I remember when I was down in Acapulco.

Yeah. You graduate from shot glasses to golf balls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's. Literally. That's. That's the. The jit. That's. That's the image of a guy learning to walk.

Yeah.

I bought some shark glasses the other day, though, in the Boston airport. The, like, Celtics championship.

Really?

Because the championship, you really like you. It's like you only get the one year with all the championship merch. Like, you gotta load up.

Yeah. But it's just like, I probably have a couple shot glasses in my house, but I'm talking, like, oh, you know, you open it up and it's just mismatched mugs and a ton of shot glasses. Yeah.

Some of them have the ones that, like, have the girl in the swimsuit, and then her swimsuit fades away when you put liquor in there. That's a really nice one you can bring out.

Yeah. A couple. Like, big ones, big skinny ones that are different colors.

Yeah, you're right. It's a shot glasses to golf balls for guys. And then women don't really. They just write in a diary. And then as they get older, sometimes they start to collect spoons.

Yeah.

Like when you go to a different city, bring back knives, a fancy spoon.

Yeah. Did you guys used to drink boilermakers? Yep. Oh. Shot of vodka dropped into a beer. Disgusting.

Pretty good.

Oh, so bad.

Pretty good.

Okay.

Okay. My last pick, Mount Rushmore, of things found in college guys apartments. My fourth pick will be a random dude. A random dude that's staying over, maybe a friend of one of the roommates. Maybe your friend that you met at a party. Seems like he's got cool vibes. He's in town for the weekend, doesn't have a place to crash. You're like, that's fine, dude. You can crash on our couch, no problem.

Okay.

Then you wake up. Yeah. Then you wake up in the morning, and if it wasn't your guy that you invited over, there's just a random guy there?

Yeah, random dude.

I woke up at some random places. We went to ASU way back in the day. Oh, yeah, I remember. We were just, you know, we went out. We watched the game. You went home. I stayed out with these random kids. Woke up in their dorm to, like, a pool party. I would like this still one of the weirdest college.

I would like the graphic to say random dude on the couch.

You said random.

No. I'd say no.

No, but I would like. And that then I described it as.

That's a terrible.

I described as a random.

Described it. A random. It's a random dude. You picked a random.

Picked a random dude on the couch.

I want to know both of your four picks because I have a pick that I think will win it for me, but I want to know your four picks.

What are my four.

No, not. I'll care about yours. I want to know your four picks because there's a. We could have a chance, because Hank has done a very good job of this dress, and you may have just lost it with random dude.

Random dude on the couch is what I said. I described as random dude on the couch.

And then we say, wait.

The way that that Mount Rushmore season is always gone is you have an opportunity to clarify before the next person makes their pick what goes on the graphic. Am I wrong, memes?

Regardless, I don't think it's a good pet.

It was.

It was way worse.

All right? A random. Way worse out.

Just as random dude.

Yeah. The way you said a random dude was very definitive. But I'm fine with a random dude on the couch.

Yeah.

Whatever Pft wants, we call the form anyway.

Commission.

I will abide by memes. What did he say at first?

He said a rail.

Random dude.

All right, that's it. Okay. It's gonna be tough.

Hank, what are your four?

Did I just. Oh, my God.

I was. Wait.

I was.

So when you said it is there.

I was 50 can come in second.

When you said it, I was like, what the fuck? And then I was. And then when you described it, it made sense. When you said it, I was like, what?

Okay, so I will buy by means decision. I'm a fair sport. What happens if we do tie? Hank?

We have to. There's a duel on Monday's show.

There's no way. You got it. You can try.

What did you. What did you take?

I had, I think, size trash cans, a massive bong, expired food, sports jerseys hung on wall.

I had an almost.

You didn't say sports jerseys hung in.

He got that.

Oh, was that gonna be your big pick?

No.

Okay. I had an almost. Almost empty keg. I had a beer bong. I had the Bob Marley poster, and then I had a random dude.

Also, not to hate, I just said I spent three years, my life visiting all my friends at different colleges. I don't think I ever saw a keg in there.

Never saw a keg.

Kegs were not, like, a major.

That was a house thing.

Yeah, I'll defend Pft on. I had a. We had a kegerator, so it wasn't usually empty. We had a. We made an old fridge, and that also became the fridge, where we just kept, like, the expired food. So it's like the fridge in the old fridge and freezer. We converted to a kegerator and then just threw all of our expired food in there. Like, if we get in a pinch.

The kegerator was a good idea. I had that too.

I think we inherited it when we winning.

And winning in fourth place is impossible.

That also is a. That a niche pick is. Which wouldn't look good on the graphic here. I'll just do your last pick, and then we'll do it.

I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say a multiple tv, living room.

Like that.

Yeah, but they're like, that wasn't.

That wasn't my a pick.

Oh, what? Yeah. What was your a pick?

No, that's his pick.

That's my pick. My pick. My honorable. My first honorable mention would be red cups.

Ah, don't think that was as you thought.

You go into any college apartment, there are red cups. Be blue everywhere.

Well, what if you're.

What if you're solo cups?

Yeah, what if you're in the crips?

Okay, what reds were all red ones?

You know, the reds were better, obviously. I. The one that just popped in my head, which would be hard to describe, but because I was thinking about the kegerator, because we inherited it, and it's something large that you inherited from the guys before. They didn't want to move out?

That was always the bomb. Yeah, it was always like, it's bong that. Like, I can't bring this home to my parents.

I was thinking, like, did I make a kegerator? There's like, no, it's just the dudes before us couldn't move it out. We also got their tv that was, like an old. One of those tvs that weighs, like a thousand pounds. Yeah.

The real deep ones.

Yeah.

We had one relatively flat screen and then one super deep that were. There were different colors, too. One was gray and one was black. And you just set them up on the table so you can watch two football games at the same time.

All right, what else do we miss? I had.

I just had spitters.

Spitters.

I had random workout equipment that's never used. Like, maybe a bum bells. You have dumbbells. Yeah, like, dumbbells or, like, a bench.

But we would use every time, like, before we went out. Every time. Just start doing curls and be like, yeah, what's gonna get. Get us chicks tonight?

Yeah.

I didn't really know how to word it, but, like. Like, either. Hockey sticks, baseball bats.

I have balls.

Like, just sporting equipment.

I had the random hockey bag that smells like shit.

Yep.

Because that. I had that in our apartment, and it was gross.

Empty pizza boxes.

Yep.

Just on the floor, on the counter.

Neon. Neon beer sign that doesn't work.

Yeah, we had that sign.

Yeah.

That was like a basement thing of, like, a house, though.

Yeah.

I had a smoke. Smoke detector with no batteries in it because it started giving the low battery beep. So you just said, okay, I don't have a smoke detector.

Speaker.

George Foreman Grill. Yeah, George Foreman Grill. And the big one where they just remember when they just kept on making bigger and bigger.

Yeah.

And it's like, wait, you're just now selling me an oven? Like a burner?

Yeah.

I should just buy a new oven with this, with the stovetop.

I think along those same lines would be one piece of cooking equipment that's way nicer than everything else that you have. So you try to cook everything in that thing. So that's an air fryer. Like, one of their parents bought them an air fryer. Now that we're gonna cook everything in the air fryer.

Yeah. This is very niche, but, like, similar to that, a. Either plastic. A big plastic spoon or spatula that's burnt a little bit. So fuck that up. It was just, like, melted.

A dented frying pan. Yeah, everybody had the dented frying pan. Let's see a stack of mail.

Stack of mail. That's good. Posters. Oh, lot. Shitload of hot sauce. So many different kinds of hot sauce. Just collect hot sauce. Oh, what I wanted to say. Max, what were you say now?

Continue what we finish. I want to. I.

What I think.

I think there's a chance I do that we get a. I think that we chance.

I don't.

I don't know. I like my picks, but a random. Good picks, a random dude is gonna be tough. It's gonna be like, that's. That was a mistake.

Yeah, well, what I was gonna say was the. Cause, Max, you did the beer poster wall. That is another one where that, like, to me, is more like freshman year, and then you graduate to the bottle cap coffee table. That's the classy version of it.

I had that. Yeah. You go out and you use the coffee table that came with the apartment if it's furnished. But you go out to Home Depot, you get, like, the Plexiglass rectangle cut out.

And if you have. And if you have a roommate whose dad was, like, a really handy guy, maybe worked in construction, you had the bottle cap beer pong table, which was.

That's crazy.

That's a. That, yeah, that wasn't made by. That was. That was a summer project with some guy's dad.

I had friends that would do it with dip cans but never actually built it.

Yeah.

Had the idea of, like, yo, I'm gonna get a ton of dip cans, and then I'm gonna make a coffee table out of it, but then, like, never actually going through with any of it.

Dude. Being a fucking dumbass. 20 year old rock. Yeah, it was the, like, all this stuff we're describing, I'm so. I'm, like, phased out of. But I'm just like, I. That rocked. Like, we. I was so stupid and. And thought I was the man, and I wasn't, but that rocked.

Did you guys ever have the big plastic jug that you would either keep the bottle caps in or the. The pop tops from the cans? Yeah, just the tops. And then you're like, look how many beers I've drank.

Yeah.

A piss jug or, like, something. Yeah, something on the wall that you try and snap them into. Snap the bottle caps into.

Yeah.

Oh, everyone just misses as a target. Yeah.

Oh, speaking of which, I feel like a lot of apartments had a dartboard that just didn't work either. Was like, didn't you lost the darts.

We had a nice dartboard.

Really?

Darts a lot.

Shit like that, where it's like, we would just have shit. And it would be cool in theory, and it would just be broken within a day. And then it would just sit there.

Big miss on our part. A hole in the wall.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Yeah.

That's a big mess. Big mess. That could.

So many random holes in the wall. And you're like, I'm gonna fix this before I move out. And you have like 3 hours on move out day. That's shit. Does anybody know how to do drywall?

Yeah. I think if you guys tie, it's a duel. I think it's a duel. And I think it's. I think it's a. I think Max and I come with more on them.

I.

Yes.

How long do we have to get ready?

No, no, right away. It's instant.

Like we do it. No, but that's it. That's an invit.

I think 1 minute. This is the show.

I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it. I think it should be me. Max and memes all come up with the Mount Rushmore. And it's a three game series duel. So they like, so it's, it's head to head. And we'll do a poll at eleven.

Best.

Yeah, best of three. You got to win two out of three because then we have a little flexibility where someone can't be like, oh, this one was slanted towards me. It'll be three randoms.

None of this is going to matter. We did.

I think there's a good chance.

Oh, man.

I still think you could come in second place.

Yeah, you could.

I think. I think I just threw a pick. It was like the end of that Colts Texans game that decided the, the rest of the history of the NFL. I just threw a big pick at the end of it with random dude. Dual dude.

What?

What was your again?

Yeah. I want to know one more time.

You tell me. You tell me what?

Sports jerseys.

Sports jerseys. Expired food.

Yeah, that's rock.

Expired food rocks.

A massive bong rocks and full size trash cans.

Wow.

Full size trash cans I don't love. But the other three are. I'm very high on.

But for the fourth pick, it doesn't that none of this matters.

But I think that's so bad. You're right. You're right. I think Hank's gonna win. I think I might come in last place.

This would be awesome. This would be like one of my favorite things that's happened on this show.

Big, big time fumble at the goal line. You're good at Desmond, you're Gucci tool.

You guys having to do Mount Rushmore's.

Off the dome be so good.

We should do a real duel. Paintball guns.

We could do that, too.

Gotcha.

All right. Gotcha. I watch that clip every, like, couple months, and I just laugh. So it's really shout out, Jake. He did a great job on the Creators cup.

He did. Yeah, Jake, I saw Jerry's tweet. He was dominating the desk.

Yeah, he was.

Why? He was manspreading with his shoulders. Great job, Jake.

All right, let's get to our interview. We got a college football preview with Brandon Walker and Tom for Nelli. And then we have Joey Chestnut.

Fuck random, dude.

It's a tough one.

Before we get into Tom Frenelli and Brandon Walker, they're brought to you by our great friends over at Coors Light. I love Coors Light. Mountains are blue. I actually had a Coors light last night. I drank a Coors light, had a little birthday celebration with the beev. Mountains were blue. And it's college football week and there's a lot of big rivalry games coming up. You can choose chill with the world's most refreshing beer. During these rivalry games, if you're at the whiteout, you're going to need to choose chill because you're wearing all white supporting the Miami hurricanes. Unfortunately, Coors Light Mountain cold refreshment that can chill even the most heated rivalries. If you're looking to keep chill, there's only one beer to choose. That's Coors light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. So you know when your mountain cold refreshment is ready for you to choose chill when things heat up, choose chill. Then crack open a Coors light. Coors Light is the one to choose when rivalries heat up. So when you're looking to cool things down and enjoy the game, you can choose chill and reach for Coors lite.

Get Coors lite delivered straight to your door with Instacart or gopuff by going to courgelite.com take. And now, here's Tom Fernelli, our college football expertise, and also Brandon Walker.

Okay, we now welcome on our college football expert, Tom Frenelli and Brandon Walker as well. Go on, sit down. What are you doing? Sit down. You're gonna shake his hand. Sit down and talk in the mic. We're recording. Podcast. We're recording. We have our college football extra Tom for Nellie and Brandon Walker here talking to the mic. Brandon, we want to do a big time college football preview. Brandon, welcome to pardon my take. You've never recorded in this video before. Five.

Five years I've been waiting to do this.

Well, you think we were. Tom's been on the show ten times.

I know. I figured you could use my experience. I can help you out, show you the ropes about how you talk college football on this show.

I do well, talking college football. First of all, it's good to meet you. You and I have gone back and forth many times on Twitter and forth about, oh, nothing. We just, we just getting the, getting the mix a little bit together. Right. We just talk ball.

A Tom reply guy.

No, no, Tom's more of a Brandon reply guy than I am. A Tom reply guy.

Yeah, but we had the bowl game against each other and that kind of really fueled the.

Oh, yeah, the Illinois.

Illinois.

So, Brandon, did you think there was going to be a twist?

I. That's. That shows how stupid I am. Not once did I consider you kind of. Maybe I'm an, I'm an egomaniac. Because I was like, yeah, it's about goddamn time. It's about time. And not once did I think they're, they're luring me into something.

Yeah.

Tom is our number one college football person.

That's. You've never really given anybody else a chance.

I know. Andy Staples got chances.

He's.

Yeah, if you need to know what, what? Chalupa to get in Oklahoma City. That's your guy. But we're talking ball.

I'm thinking Chalupa.

Tom talks ball, Stillwater, then, whatever.

I just want to make sure you know, this was my idea. They had nothing to do with it.

Yeah, that's true.

They asked me to come on again like they always do.

I know both these sons of bitches. This was not your idea.

My idea. I can show you the text.

Yeah, this is Tom.

This was all you.

You got. You got outflank.

I said, I want Brandon on with me.

Well done, Tom.

Listen, we, I mean, this is. We are the two best college football minds sitting on the couch. Exactly.

Got one of them.

This is gonna be great. I want to get into it. Let's start with takes.

I can't fucking believe I walked in here and. And now what's in my mind? I go, I wonder who's sitting on that couch. No. Dumb fuck. All right, go. Go hard.

In my takes. Number one college football, I guess.

Let's start with. Let's start with the playoff and we'll work our way backwards. Do you guys want to do a playoff draft in front of us?

Are you a playoff guy?

I am. I think this day is a long time coming for college football. Anybody that says college football is worse off for the playoff is lying or just grifting or something, because more seats at the table is good for everybody. It doesn't diminish the regular season. Excuse me? It doesn't diminish the regular season.

Tom's never done.

It's a mistake.

It doesn't diminish it at all. It makes us have way more games that matter in November. I love the playoff, but can't you.

Argue that, like Florida State losing to Georgia Tech on Saturday is already kind of diminished because a couple years ago, that loss completely fucks their season. It makes it even more fun. Whereas now no immediate reaction is Herbie getting on Twitter?

It's not because you could still get in there.

Every game means more.

Their season is absolutely fucked. Now that team, technically, we're not talking technicalities. That team, to play it on Saturday is not a playoff team in a 14 format, a four, a twelve team play format, a 30 team format. That's not a playoff team. That's an average football team. We saw.

I don't know if I call it average. I don't think it looked good, that's for sure.

Like, I don't think if that was an average. What is.

We agree that Florida State should not have been the 10th best team, right?

As far as anybody who looked at that team and voted them to be in the playoffs or be number ten.

But the preseason votes are always bullshit.

But when I look at the rest of the ACC, I don't think Florida State's a team that can't win the.

ACC already if they can't put, if they get bullied, and I mean absolutely bullied at the point of attack by.

How many sec, how many teams have Georgia Tech's offensive line?

Clemson's going to be able to bully him. Clemson.

You're arguing Clemson has a great offensive line?

No, I'm saying Clemson as a whole team is a bully team. I think Clemson's defensive line will be able to bully Florida State's offensive line, which also didn't get any push after that first drive.

Gabo's not a bully. He's not even taking calls on his radio show. He got bullied by Tyler from Spartanburg.

No, no. He responded well to that.

Why?

By shutting him out? By censoring free speech?

He stood up, Davos got that drip.

Which team am I describing right now? Bad quarterback who's been around for a while. We know who exactly who he is. Questionable offensive line, questionable receivers, questionable defensively in the second.

I think you're attempting to describe Clemson, right.

And who.

Florida State.

Florida State?

Yeah.

You really don't know college football?

No, I just. I just told him exactly who's thinking about. Well, Clemson. Here's my thing about Clemson. I know Cade wasn't great last year. I really know he wasn't great. DJ, we've seen him not be great at multiple spots and game against notre Dame. And people still thought. People still thought DJ could do it. Cade. I think second year in a system with Garrett Riley, guys can get better from year to year, especially if they stay in the same system. If you transfer every year, you're not getting better. But I think Kate is in a spot where he could improve.

Do you guys.

Same way, by the way, in the big ten.

Yeah. Which I disagree on that. Do you think Dabo will ever go to the transfer portal?

Yes.

You think you'll have to? Eventually.

Have to. Yeah.

It's crazy that he's not. He just. They have a single transfer.

No, it's them in the three, sir.

They lost a couple. Yeah, they lost a couple. They didn't gain a couple.

Can't tell me Caleb Downs can't help them.

But don't you think he's got an opportunity?

Yeah, probably could.

Think he has the opportunity to be the counterculture to the. To the transfer portal. Because if he's getting guys out of high school and actually developing them in the face of everybody else, he's got a win first.

But hold.

Untunity exists. Do I think he could pull it off?

No, but hold on. There's two ways to use the transfer portal. You could do the Lane kiffin, where you just get a new team every year, the Deon Sanders, or like an Ohio state who's like, hey, we got a couple holes.

Let's just.

Let's fill the three or four holes that we have. How could you not want to do that?

So that can work. It absolutely can work. It also not work like Florida State did that this year.

But depth is never a problem, especially with how many games they got to play.

Now.

I just think with the. In the era of college football, everybody's going to the portal, everybody's going to the cupboard. And Dabbo is. And he's. And I think Dabo has been a full of shit guy his whole career. He is not full of shit about this. He's living exactly what he's saying. And I think it could work. Like, he's got a sophomore class that last year took some lumps on that defensive line especially. I think they're going to be loaded this year.

So let's, we'll just start with the ACC because we're already talking about it. If it's not Florida State or Clemson, is it Miami?

Yeah, it fucking better be.

Miami's roster is loaded.

Is the, is the seat warm for crystal ball? I feel like he's still got anything.

Less than nine and three. I think the seats warm.

Yeah, I would agree with that. I mean, I'm, I'm with him. I know he has Clemson winning the acc. I was just trying to make a point. I have Clemson winning the acC, too. I do think receiver wise they're going to be better than they were last year.

So this guy's just baiting me.

No, that was podcast, a thought exercise.

Yeah, you can't just all agree on everything.

No, no. Obvious, obviously. Like if Davo is, if he's able to do this without using the transfer portal, that would be incredible in this day and age. He, he's had resounding success before, but this is a new style of college football. This is a new way to build a team. And it seems to me like if he's not willing to go to the portal, then he's just going to lose players over the years.

I think Dabo can win the ACC without using the portal because I don't think the ACC is that good. I think it is a three team league and then there are, you know, good teams. There's the NC states, there's your Virginia Techs, but those aren't like teams. And I'm looking at his title contenders. I think he can win the ACC but without using the portal when he gets to the playoffs, I think they're probably going to get their ass kept. Yeah, they don't have the depth to compete with those other teams. So I think that when you look at what Clemson has been the last few years, there have been obvious holes on that roster. You knew going in they could use help. Like everybody needs help on the offensive line. They don't exist in the portal for the most part. But you knew they needed help at wide receiver. They never went after them. It could have made a huge difference.

Last.

Yeah, you could have gone after Keon Coleman. I don't know if you already could dunk in shorts or jeans, but like, I think that that is the one aspect that really is gonna cut him short. And I think that if they keep failing, he will change his approach. He will realize I need to do something if I want to get to the title.

Yeah, let me think. Are you just putting Tom's mic closer? Oh, I like that. No, you're good.

Good producing.

I'll just swallow it. Like Brandon is like this.

No, that's how you do.

He didn't have a second lunch.

Just saying, like, the mics in my studio don't have to be this close.

Megan brought me banana pudding.

Okay, so you did have your second lunch.

What about dark horse in the ACC or completely.

What about. Well, I was going to throw you out one and then get your reaction.

Go ahead.

Virginia Tech Hokies.

I don't know if they're dark horse. I think they're getting a lot of love. They bring 18 of 22 starters back. They got Chiron drones, good quarterback. I actually don't like them as much as most people. That's why I like Vanderbilt minus, plus 13 and a half this weekend. They bring back 18 starters off a team that went six and six. Like this isn't. They didn't go nine and three. I think they're pretty good. I like NC State a little bit more than, than Virginia Tech.

You did just mention Kate Kubnik in the second year under an offensive coordinator can improve, did you not?

I did.

I think Kyron Jones in his second year as a starter can improve. And I think Kyron Jones with between his size, his arm and his mobility, I watched a lot of their tape last year and he took over for Grant Wells, who got hurt. He becomes a starter. He transfers for Baylor. He was kind of at the start of the season as you'd expect, a kid without much experience. But as the year went on and they got more familiar with what his strengths were and what he could do, that offense started getting pretty damn good towards the end of the season. They've got a couple good running backs, they've got good receivers. The offensive line I thought was okay. That is the one of the bigger hindrances, I think, for that team, whether that can take a step forward defensively. They got a couple guys. I don't think they're spectacular, but I do think in the ACC where as we're talking about Clemson, Florida State, Miami, after that, there's a whole hell of a lot of wiggle room. I do think tech could take advantage of that because when you look at what they have with the experience with the quarterback and with a schedule that I think is kind of friendly, all things considered, they could be in the hunt for like an ACC championship, a.

Game appearance, and there's always there's always beamer ball. Just kind of like, you know, if they block upon, it's Beamer ball.

So anything that happened basically between like 95 and oh two, if it happens again, that's. It just goes back to Beaver ball. Okay.

Yeah. If they do anything that's like, out, you know, outside of regular offense and defense, it's Beaver.

They block a punt, it's game over. Yeah.

It just goes back to anything you saw, like five or ten years ago. Like, like dj's good game is Notre Dame. He's always that guy.

He was. Virginia Tech will always have a speedy guy. They recruit from the track team to just stand on the edge for field goals.

Yeah.

And just run as fast as you.

Can at the holder.

Beamer ball.

Yeah. I had a thought and I want you guys to. We'll jump to the big twelve, which is, I think, going to be the funnest conference to watch because it just feels like there's, I don't know, six, eight teams that could win it.

The Big ten.

Oh, no, the big twelve. Utah 55 to one.

Is that crazy to win the national title?

I know they're probably not going to win that.

No, no. That, that's crazy.

Okay, but hear me out. Hear me out. I know they're not gonna win the national title if they win the big twelve. They could potentially get the three or four seed.

Mm hmm.

And they could be by already. You know, you got your first game. Say they get the four seed and they play the five seed. Maybe it's Notre Dame. Yeah, that's a, that's a coin flip game. And. Yeah. You're basically betting on cam rising, being not injured for the entire year, which is not a great bet. But I don't know. I, it's more of a, I don't think they're national title. I think I'd get in a spot where I could maybe hedge.

If you want to get, if you want to get a hedge spot. I mean, they are hedge bet. They, they have the lowest odds to make the playoff of any big twelve team. So, I mean, they could get to the playoff and they could put you in a hedge spot. I personally don't like them that much. I don't like them as much as most people like them this year.

Who do you like in the big twelve?

Kansas State.

That's, that's what everyone loves.

Who do you like?

Kansas State.

Okay, let me throw this idea at you. I've thrown it out there on twitter and everything, but Utah's main advantage in the PaC twelve was when they would play USC and UCLA and Arizona State and all those. They had a distinct physicality advantage and they could bully those teams. Now, most of the big twelve, you probably can do that too, but you ain't doing that to Kansas State.

They don't play them in the regular.

Season and you're not doing that to Oklahoma State, who they have to go to Stillwater.

I know that's their toughest game.

They're not bullying those teams. And that was their big advantage. It wasn't a talent advantage, it was a toughness advantage and that's gone now. That's why I like Kansas State to win it more than I like Utah.

The other side of that, like offensively, they were still very physical last couple years. Defensively, you could Utah around.

All right, so I won't do it. It's also the cam rising thing makes me, I love cam rising, but he's, he's been hurt a lot. Hurt a lot. All right, so other teams. Cause there are a ton of teams in the big twelve.

I had eight that could win it as well.

So list them.

So Kansas State, Oklahoma State, Utah are the three at the top. I think that's. I think Iowa State's right behind those.

UCF.

I don't have UCF in the group. I got Kansas in the group, but that's entirely based on defense coming a long way and Jalen Daniels staying healthy. West Virginia sneaks in that group. You don't think West Virginia Snakes defensive losses are too much?

I just think that last year they took advantage of some quarterback injuries and some close games and I think that this year there could be a comeuppance for it.

I think.

Dismissed Kansas real quick there.

No, I just rushed him off. I didn't brush him off, I put him in the group. But again, Jalen Daniels has never played a full season healthy and if he doesn't, they don't have a chance.

Yeah, they don't have a Jason Bean this year behind him. And also I think another thing that's under discussed too is Andy Kotel. Nicki, their offensive coordinator, is left to take over at Penn State. How does that offense look without him, with a new play caller there, if Jalen Daniels goes down? Because that was one of the things that really impressed me about Kotle, Nikki was the last couple of years with Daniels not being available, the way he was able to keep things going at the pace that they were way Bean and it was just really impressive. So I don't know. I think the thing about the big twelve is. My hot take about the big twelve is that nobody is coming out of that league with fewer than three losses. Yeah, I think it's gonna be.

So they're gonna.

One bit.

One bitly. Yeah.

For sure.

Interesting.

I think in my playoff, I had two teams at Oklahoma State and Kansas State making it, like, hard to get to in.

You don't even have Utah making.

I don't have Utah making it because.

Their schedule is not tough.

Schedule is not that tough. I just think their, their advantages they had over the pack. Over gone. And I think I like Kansas State better. I like, I like Oklahoma state better.

They do have, like, a Gen X quarterback and Alan Bowman, which kind of worries me. He's been around.

Yeah.

He's seven years.

Brandon Whedon. Yeah.

So I. I think, Mike, my concern about Oklahoma State is it's like, it's a Mike Gundy team, so you expect a certain level of competence. I just worry that they're too dependent on Ali Gordon. And Ollie Gordon got so many touches last year, and you come back, and if you're trying to rely on him to that same level. We've seen running backs break down. What happens if Ollie Gordon suffers an injury? That's a team who sees season can go down.

And his punishment for the DUI is 100 carries, right.

Yeah.

Mike said that beneficial to the team. Yeah.

He's going to give him more work.

Yeah.

They'll teach him.

I want to defend Mike Gundy here. I was drunk driving here today.

I saw your park job.

Does Gundy have the disease or the syndrome that when. When he's hyped up and good, they never live up to it, and when he's not hyped up and good, that's when they can sneak out ten wins.

I think there's definitely a correlation there.

They never deliver when they're the favorite.

That's Mike Tomlindez.

Yeah.

College Mike Tomlin.

Yeah. Mm hmm. There's so many similarities between those.

All right, so let's talk big ten. I. Obviously, Ohio State is the favorite they have. What? That's the best Ohio state team on paper in a long time.

Yeah.

I think Oregon's gonna be very, very good.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you're talking about number two and number.

I understand, but. But who? Who else? I know Brandon's high on Penn State.

Yeah.

He's drew apologist.

Guy had 29 touchdowns and two interceptions. He just couldn't beat Michigan, Ohio State last year. I don't think that's that big of a sin. With no receivers on his team. By the way, I am not a.

Drew aller hater by any stretch of the means, but I think part of the reason he didn't throw any interceptions is because he never took any chances. And that's kind of like the shoulder situation with Colorado where it's like everybody talks about how he didn't turn the ball over. It's like he would wait till the guy was wide open before throwing it. I think he needs to get a bit more aggressive. But I do think to your point, part of that was Penn State's receivers last year were so bad that, like, they really weren't getting any separation. And I don't know if they have fixed that as far as personnel wise. But going back to Andy Kotel, Nikki, like, when he was at Kansas, it's not like he was working with four and five star players everywhere up and down. That roster was able to scheme guys open and get the plays there. So if he's able to bring what he had at Kansas to Penn State, I do think Penn State is a team that could take kind of that last step that they've been missing.

And now that we. They don't have to take that step. The step came to them.

Yeah.

They couldn't get in the 14 playoff, but over year, they would have made six. Six out of the last nine years.

They would have win. Like, that's the thing, though. Cause, like, they've been losing to Michigan, they've been losing to Ohio State. So the argument would be, had the playoff existed for the last ten years, Penn State would have been there six times. How many games would they have won?

Right.

I think that Kotal Nikki could get them to a spot where they could beat Michigan, beat Ohio State and win a playoff.

Fair enough.

They finished what if you look at their aggregate Yank ranking and then divide it by the number of years, I think they average out about. Yeah, they average out about. They would be the eight and a half seed. If they make the playoffs as a ten seed, that actually feels like a win for James Franklin. Right.

It feels better getting in as a.

Win if you're in the playoff as opposed to what it's been the past, which is being number eight in the country, coming on strong at the end of the year, you lose a couple very blatant, like, nationally televised games that. That rub salt in the wound at the end of the season, you're like, damn, we were almost really good. Now you can be almost really good. And it's actually better than it was before.

Yeah. Finishing 8th in a four team table doesn't, doesn't work. Finishing 10th at a twelve team table.

You'Ve got to see that's a win.

Yeah, but what we'll see is we'll see a change in expectation. Like the talk now with James Franklin, whether you're talking to Penn State fans who don't like him or just, you know, national media consensus can't win the big game. We're going to see coaches who are now getting to the playoff and we're saying, well, it would have helped James Franklin's reputation huge if they'd gotten to the playoff all these years. But once you get there and you don't win anything, it's going to quickly turn into we got to get ourselves a coach who can win a playoff game. So, yeah, it's, it's a double edged sword.

I think the fire line is changing too, because now that twelve team playoff, if you finish 14th, that hot seats a lot quicker.

It is crazy to the expectations when you consider the fact that coaching in this college football season, there's only three coaches that have won a national title.

Yeah.

Which is nuts.

Yeah, well, savings hogged them all.

Yeah. But it's, but it's Kirby, it's Dabo and it's Mack Brown. That's it. So like, I wonder how, I wonder.

How many casual fans would be able to name the third.

Yeah.

Like, I think everybody would get Kirby and they would get Dabo, but I think a lot of fans would be like, shit, I don't know who the third person.

Right. So that's the expectation.

That's one of the best gigs in college football, I think.

Yeah.

You, the expectations are very low compared to what they were at Texas, but.

You'Re expecting out of everyone something that, that three guys have.

Yeah.

Which is nuts.

Hard to do.

Yeah, hard to do. I got a question about Ohio State. So I've come around a little bit. I'm not the biggest will Howard guy. I do think he's like a tough gamer. He's a Kansas State quarterback. That's what, you know, he's not going to light it up, throwing it, but he'll make the big plays, get the big first downs. Is there any concern that Ohio State is built to pound a teams running the foot? They're almost built like Michigan last year.

They're built exactly just like Michigan last year.

But Chip Kelly, Zoe, is there any concern that that doesn't fully match up?

No, I think it matches up perfectly. Okay. They have the best running back room in the country. Chip Kelly coach, Oregon eight years they led the Pac twelve in rushing eight times. He coached at UCLA seven years. They finished first or second seven times. They're going to run. Run. And what did Michigan ask JJ McCarthy to do last year? Saying how good he is, what they ask him to do? Not much. Throw for 150 yards and a key throw here and there, hand the ball off. And that's what Ohio State is going to ask Will Howard to do. I think I.

And yeah, because that's my only concern with them is if he, if he gets in a game where he has to throw it deep a bunch, it's not, that's not Will Howard.

My concern. Like, I think there are Will Howard questions because we haven't seen him in an offense like Ohio State's. But I do think that Ohio State's offense will look a lot different. Like we're saying it's going to look more along the lines of Will Howard, which is why they wouldn't got him because Kyle McCord, I think if you look at McCord versus will Howard, talent wise, there's really not a huge disparity. It's just will Howard can run.

Right.

And for a Chip Kelly offense, I think that's important. My biggest concern with Ohio State will be the offensive line. I don't know if they have the line to run the ball as effectively as they want. And if Will Howard is not giving you that kind of vertical passing threat, then defenses don't have to respect it. Then it could become more difficult for them to run. It's just, I think talent wise, you look at the rest of the Big ten, I don't know how often it's going to.

Yeah, the, the, every time we talk about Ohio state, there has to be a disclaimer that the nitpicking doing is just based on winning a national.

It's the most talented country. Here's what could go wrong.

There's. Well, there's. Yeah, it's, it's. Can they win a national title? That's the only question.

The offensive line certainly is, if you had to listen, concern it might be on there, but that defense is going to be lights out. It's. That going to be the best.

They added killed down.

Yeah. It's going to be insane. It will be just as good as Michigan's defense was last year.

Yeah.

You want 15 seconds to talk about Illinois, Tom?

Illinois is going to go bowling. They are going to get to at least six wins, probably seven. I think they might have one of the best offensive lines in the Big ten, I think they got JC Davis, who is a left tackle from New Mexico. You can't find offensive lineman in the portal, Illinois. Fond one. He'll be an NFL draft pick. I think offensively they will look a lot like the Brett teams you used to from Wisconsin. No, no, no, we got lots.

I'm gonna extend it. I'm gonna seed my.

We'll give 3 seconds to Mississippi State so that way we can name all the national titles they've wondez.

So how many is Illinois?

Five.

No, how many real ones?

Five.

Okay, don't pee on my leg.

How many conference titles is Mississippi state won?

Oh, we had one, buddy. Yeah, we had one. Oh. You ever heard of World War Two? We won one in the height of it.

So whenever it was off, all the.

Manliest men were playing college.

Correct? Yeah. 1941. Look it up.

Long story short, Illinois offense good. Illinois defense, offense good.

Neutral psych game, lost.

Jim Leonard, your quarterback, couldn't go to the playoffs at Starville High School.

Our quarterback. We had a backup last year throwing for 500 yards a game. Man, what are you talking about?

Neutral psych game. Illinois, Mississippi State. What's the spread?

Oh, Illinois by three, state by Mississippi.

State is gonna be really bad this year.

We've only played once, right? That's it.

I think that was the only time.

And mystery State won that one. So that's we own you forever for the rest of time until we meet the plus. What a sad couple of teams.

I know, me and Brandon, just sitting here like, oh yeah, fuck you.

Seven wins, maybe two midgets in a dunk contest.

We've been to four bowl games the last ten years. How about you?

How many games is Mississippi sake in win?

Five, six.

Wait, so back to the big ten real quick. If it's not Oregon, Ohio State, it.

Would have to be Penn State, I think.

Could it still be Michigan?

Yes.

No.

Why not?

100% no. Why? How? I'll let you go first.

You are a Michigan hater.

You just talked about how Michigan last year didn't ask its quarterback to do anything and they still won a national title. And now the one thing I hear hammered over the head about why Michigan's gonna be bad is, well, who's the quarterback? If Alex or G, who is a giant man, who's very fast, is able to throw the football. At any rate, we're talking if he can just be will howard, I don't see any reason why Michigan can't be as good as Ohio State. Because defensively, Michigan still just as good as Ohio State is. They have three first round picks on that defense. They might have two top five picks in the offensive line I think is a huge question.

No, no, it's bigger than a huge question.

Speaker.

Zero.

But the offensive line last year suffered a whole bunch of injuries and that really did not stop them from mauling people and winning a national title. Sharon Moore or he has somewhat of a history of being an offensive line coach. I am not worried about them developing a line. It could be a slow start, but Michigan to me is one of those teams that in September they might look kinda. Yeah, but by the time you get to November, when that stuff starts gelling, they might be a really good team who's gonna be like, you know, the, the momentum. Dark horse in the playoffs maybe, but.

Texas early, Oregon in the middle, Ohio state late. That's three losses.

Are you that confident in Texas on the road?

Not as much, but I do favor Texas to beat Michigan there. I, listen, I think you really are standing over the offensive line like this was the best offensive line in the country last year and it is addressing.

Allocation descending over way up there. Sanding over you. Sand over you.

Sandpaper over that.

I have not sanded over there. First of all, Michigan's offensive line is made of sandpaper. So how the fuck can you sand over it?

You, you can sandpaper over sandpaper, but you can't.

It's like iron. They both get grittier.

I think he's start a fire if you do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Actually gassed him up.

So Michigan's offensive lines on fire. They're going to die in a fire.

Yes.

And I don't think they're going to be as good.

But Alex Orgy is so good.

He doesn't need, you got, you got half as good. You're half as good at running back as you were last year. And listen, I know half as good at running.

Blake Coram was getting three yards of carry.

I shit on JJ McCarthy a lot. But you had a guy, they had a lot going on off the field. A lot going on, a lot of distractions. They're going to have the same damn distractions this year. Yeah, they will.

They definitely won't. You cannot say those are going to be the same.

They just received the numbers of allegations, but they've got more text.

Nothing's going to come from them.

Having Conor stallions happen in the middle of the season will not even, it won't pale in a.

You don't have a veteran quarterback to get you through it. You don't have the great, the great offensive line to get you through it. You don't have the veteran coach to get you through it. Even though he was not on the sidelines, he was getting them through it. Now you got a rookie head coach doing it.

I just think beat Ohio State, not a rookie.

He did coach last year so much.

There'S so much more wins over Ohio State and Penn State than 80 of the coaches in the Big ten.

I'm not saying they're falling off to six and six level, but I think they're going nine and three.

Michigan goes nine and three against that schedule. They'll get in the playoffs.

I don't know. We don't know what there's going to be around. We don't know what's around them. We don't know what's around them.

They'll get in.

They go, they go nine and two into Columbus. They get me by 40 points. You think they're getting in?

No, but they're not going to get beat by 40 points.

Address the allegation that they got half as good at running back.

Well, I'm just.

Are you talking about just. They have on touchdown.

They have. They had the best running back room in the country last year. They bring one back ones in the end. NFL.

Yeah, but the one that injured as he was.

Yeah, damn good.

He's really good.

He's damn good. But I. Do you think they can win the Big ten? Did you honestly think they can be?

I think Brandon is a known Michigan hater. In fact, when Brandon talks about Michigan, there should be a blinking sign on the screen saying Michigan haters thoughts. And then they should all team is.

Not as your thoughts on paper is him, though.

So I know James very mean to him.

Yeah, I get it.

This team is not as talented as Ohio State and Oregon. Paper.

No, on paper, they don't play the games on paper. Ohio State was more talented than them last year.

Yeah, they don't play the games at this shit.

I mean, Michigan was pretty damn training.

They don't, they don't play the games on paper.

Now say sandpaper. You just talked about sand.

Let's sandpaper over that.

Yeah. All right. I got, I got it.

We didn't talk about Oregon.

We're really good. Dylan Gabriel's the man, you know. Oh, you know. Oh, wait, wait, timeout. Brittany and I were in the car together when he was convinced that Dylan Gabriel was going to Mississippi State.

You guys drive to work together all the time. We were.

We were. I don't know. Where we were going, but he was like, it's going to be announced any second. And as he was saying that Dylan Gabriel to Oregon. So he's got a little bit of Dylan Gabriel bias.

I think he's a. I think he's a good quarterback. I think this his him as the Heisman favorites. A little bit too much.

Yes.

I will say we interviewed while we were in Indianapolis, the COVID three podcast, and we interviewed Gabriel. We're a large podcast. He was the smallest one of the five of us on the show at that time.

He's a tiny man.

Yeah. He's not a big guy. It's kind of startling when you see him in person how small he is. So if he goes down, they have Dante Moore, who transferred in from UCLA. He's a high, highly touted kid out of high school.

All he did was throw picks. Yeah.

And he, like, wanted to go to Oregon so he could sit because that was like his goal. He wants to develop and become a better QB. If they're forced to go to him, if Gabriel goes down, that could be tough for them. And I also, they've suffered a couple, like, low key injuries on the offensive line and camp that are somewhat concerning. But again, it's kind of like with Ohio state earlier. It's your nitpicking. This is a very talented team that will probably win a lot of games.

Okay, what about Washington? Belichick's coach of Washington?

Yeah, not very good.

They lost everything.

You know, I bought them Washington T shirt and he didn't even fucking thank me for it.

No, that's classic hang.

I know.

They lost everything and they didn't get jet fish, didn't get anything they brought in with him.

Listen, nobody is a more experienced watcher of Will Rogers football than I am.

I know. I was gonna say, you've lived through this.

I have lived through this, and it's just not. It ain't happened. It's. He can't throw the ball more than ten yards down the field. I don't expect he'll start much. If he even starts the year, maybe he'll start three or four games. But Washington just. Too much talent has gone and too much the conference is too hard. They're going into like six and six, seven and five. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think Washington's gonna be very good this year. I think. I think Hanks getting in on the ground floor, so that way you can't call him a bandwagon fan.

I'm high on USC. I know that's stupid.

No, it's not.

That's not.

Miller Moss is fantastic. And that receiver room is as good as anybody in the country. It's the defense, but it's going to.

Be a lot better because Alex Grinch.

Doesn'T exist there anymore.

Safety's coach at Wisconsin now.

I mean, that's the thing.

Fuck that up.

Too bad their defense doesn't have to be good. Like Lincoln Riley miss tackles. Yeah. Lincoln Riley's Oklahoma defenses weren't what you would consider good. Yeah, but they were just good enough. Like, I think that if the defense improves and can tackle and just be kind of below average.

Well, hold on, hold on.

They brought in Lynn for the bowl game. They were better in the bowl game immediately.

Lincoln Riley's Oklahoma defenses were also playing in the big twelve. This. USC is going to be playing in the Big ten like this.

Oh, that's right. The home of all those great offenses.

I think there's some fine offenses in the Big ten.

Illinois. Name one.

Yeah, I thought Brandon was doing a bit there.

Ohio State, Oregon. Those are not good offenses. We were just pretending. Those are not good offenses.

Are.

They are, but most, but it's not.

They can get to eight, nine wins.

Ohio State is probably going to run the ball down the throat. Yes.

I mean, the big twelve, the comparable spot in the big twelve is, you know, Texas Tech is the same level is like. I don't know. I know. Not even Iowa, Illinois, Indiana. The big twelve has better offense.

Y'all don't think coming into the Big ten is going to be a shock for that defense?

I think it's going to be, but.

I think that they might actually be better equipped for it because they're going to see more run than they were in the Pac twelve and the Pac twelve.

They were, they couldn't stop the run, Tom. They couldn't stop the run or the pass.

Yeah, but UCLA could stop the run.

You only have to worry about one. It becomes easier to do the other.

But they got UCLA's defense corner, who was, UCLA's defense was very good last, but they.

Well, to back up his point, Deanton Lin, who was at UCLA last year, his defensive line was much better.

Yeah, that's true.

He's inheriting at USC. But I do think, like, just coaching wise, because I don't think the problem specifically with USC last year was talent. Like, I don't think they had top tier talent on the defensive side of the ball. I thought that was a poorly coached team who clearly did not work on tackling in practice during the season and it showed on Saturday. I think there is going to be very much a philosophical change in how they approach that side of the ball. And that alone I think will lead to some.

Again, the bowl game was, you could see it right away being allowed job.

As long as he did was practice.

On Lincoln's part and they got bigger.

Guys and he, Staples taught us that it matters.

Yeah, I'm not familiar with Mister Staples.

You want big guys playing defensive line.

Fair enough.

Yeah.

Sec, I know you disagree with this, Brandon, but I, and this is not a hot take because it's still Alabama. But I think Alabama is. I think Jalen Miller is going to be awesome. And Galen Deborah's offense. Yeah.

I don't. I just think why it took and.

I was Kalen DeBoer do.

I'm not comparing Kalen Deboer and Tommy Reeves. I'm not. What I'm saying is it took Tommy Reeves and that offensive staff about a month to figure out how to best utilize Jalen Milroy. You had to work around his deficiencies. You had to work around the fact he can't really throw the ball. Work around it. And they did. They figured it out. But once they get a playoff and play in Michigan, he was, he was terrible again.

He just didn't do anything they were snap away from.

That's fine. But it certainly wasn't thanks to Jalen Milro, the way he played and that I think Jalen Milro is a challenge for offensive coordinators and I think if they had a better quarterback, I would be a lot higher on Alabama.

Okay. I just think Kalen Boar is a great coach.

Yes.

And he, what does he do? He schemes it up. Especially deep balls with Jalen Milroy. That's what he's the lead.

No, he what he's gayly good at deep ball.

He throw deep on.

He can physically throw it that far. But he knows I've seen him.

You don't think he's good?

I watched a lot of Alabama games last year. I saw everything.

He chucks the ball deep and I not saying had receivers capable of running under it. They were not exactly.

But he can't go in the middle of the field.

If you were to highlight that he's better at than other things.

Running.

Running.

Well, I'm talking about throwing the ball. It would probably be a deep ball for sure.

Yeah. Because if you throw a deep ball, somebody goes and gets it. Looks like a good throw. He can't throw it.

Don't put a spy on him.

If you try. If you try to use Jalen Milro to run the Michael Pennix offense, it's gonna fall apart.

Well, yeah, yeah. Well, that Michael Pennix, it's going to fall apart.

I want to like.

But he can run a lot better than Michael Pennix.

Kalen, Deborah is a great coach and I think that over the long haul, Alabama is going to be pretty damn good under Deborah as long as they give him a chance and they don't overreact.

That's the problem.

Yeah, but you aren't going to see the Washington offense you saw last year at Alabama with Jalen Milro because he had Michael Pennix and three NFL receivers. Alabama doesn't have that. They've got Jalen Milro who is. Has a chance to be a good college quarterback. But I do not think, like, I think the completion percentage on those deep balls last year is really carrying a lot of weight. More than the actual throws.

Twelve touchdowns, one interception on deep balls.

Deep balls.

It's hard to throw an interception on the speaker.

Three, here's who he is.

Jalen Miller firmly falls in that category. And there are a bunch of teams across the country that have this where you talk about their quarterback and you just say, Jalen Milroy is Jalen Miller.

Looking at this, I'm cover three. We call them Jag pluses.

Jag pluses. Okay.

Like that?

Yeah, that's good.

Just a guy.

Just a little bit more than just.

Yes.

Yeah.

Like what?

You don't even know what it is.

You just say, no, just a guy. Jag plus.

I use Jag a lot, but I can't use Jag plus. That's copyright.

Copyrighted. Bud will sue you. He is a lawyer.

No, I know.

So you don't think Alabama's gonna be good?

No, no, I didn't say that.

It sounds like you said.

I think Alabama will be. Will be solid. But I think the second they lose to. Not Tennessee and Knoxville, the second they lose a game that that fan base isn't expecting to lose, like they lose to Georgia, fine. But if they lose Tennessee and Knoxville, that fan base is going to melt down, freak out. And I'm not sure Kaylin DeBoer will be able to write that ship this year. I think in the SEC, there's not enough air to go around to support everybody that thinks they're a contender this year. And somebody's going by.

Everyone is still in it.

In what sense?

The twelve team playoff.

The twelve team playoff. But there's eight fan bases in the SEC that think they're going to the playoff this year, eight of them.

Who's the most delusional?

Ole Miss.

Mississippi State.

No, I don't. First of all, we know exactly what we're getting into this.

No, you said five wins. Then he said six and he said five. You don't know exactly five.

Six and five. The average is five and a half. What? I'm right around it. Okay. Ole Miss, I don't think delusional because I think that roster is very good, but as far as delusional, but Ole.

Miss is very similar where like, they kind of like the Penn State. They can't beat the good teams.

Yeah. Lane won those games.

They can't.

But, and they also.

Damn, they went out and got a lot of help.

Yeah, I know they did, but they also. It wasn't like they were blowing out everyone else either, last year. No, they were in some scary ones.

They didn't really. They had the one good win over LSU, finished nine and three.

That was really happening of the game.

That was 51 45. Could have gone either way. But again, Lane saw every deficiency they had and addressed it with a big time transfer portal. It wasn't like he just went out and got guys for the sake of getting them. He got Walter Nolan to plug the defensive line. He got princely.

I think this might be the year for Ole Miss. I mint's already said they're in the College Football playoff.

I don't care. He's crossed. Here's the thing about Ole Miss, and this is true about Mississippi State, too, and I said it earlier about another team, but every time there's high expectations on a team in Mississippi, it never works. It has never worked. We only, we only do well coming from the back. I hope. I think they're a great team. I think they're a top ten team. I hope they're not. I hope they fall, but I think they are.

I mean, I think, I think that playoff is a realistic expectation for Ole Miss. I do think it's going to be difficult. And I do think one of the more interesting aspects of following the SEC now that Texas and Oklahoma are in the league is that somebody's gonna have to be losing these games because Georgia.

Has a gauntlet of scarce, not enough.

Oxygen to support everybody.

Yeah. Like when you, when you're already have you line before.

It's my line for this year.

That's a congestive heart failure thing. It's very common when you're already a.

League that has like five teams that consider themselves legit national title contenders. And then you add two more. Like somebody is gonna be like the seven and five team that's looking around like, what the fuck?

And there's teams like Ole Miss and Missouri who are not used to being on this level, who believe they're on this level year. Missouri is not.

Yeah, I don't think Missouri is good. Yeah, I think it's gonna be a rough.

I think they're an eight and 14.

I'll give you some names. You tell me if they're delusional by thinking that they should be in the playoff.

They're all in the SEC fans.

Yeah.

Texas A and M. Oh, that's delusional.

Yes.

Delusional.

That's delusional. But I don't know that they truly believe that. I think they want that, and they might believe it in year two, but not in year one.

If they win week one, they're definitely.

For sure they're all in there.

All that changes everything, though.

Okay. Okay. Missouri sounds like delusional.

Delusional.

I understand why they think it. They, like the coach, Luther Burden is the best receiver in the country. I understand why they think it. But the loss of the defensive coordinator and so many defensive players, I understand it's not happening.

Also, we're just papering over that. They beat middle Tennessee by, like, three, and they needed a last second field.

Goal to be Kansas State. Florida. They need a fourth and 18.

Paper over.

Sand, papering over.

Sand. Paper over it.

Tennessee, I think they're a legit playoff contender. I've got three. I've got him as my number 60.

I think Nico is the best QB in the country.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm not going that far yet, but I think if he is as good as I think he is, there. We've seen what their, their team can do when they. Or what hypo can do when they got a great quarterback.

Tom, why do you say he's the best quarterback in the country when we've seen him play one game?

Cause I think that you don't need to see the one game, like three years ago, I was telling you Caleb Williams was the best quarterback in the country, and he wasn't even the starter on Oklahoma. I'm telling you, Niko is the best quarterback in the country, size wise, talent wise, ability wise, fit in the offense that he's in, which is an offense that's been odds, somehow made Joe Milton into an NFL quarterback.

Did you watch the Monday Night Football game, though?

No, I can't say that.

So Chris Collinsworth was just gushing all over. It was a glaze fest for Joe Milton, which I love, because anytime somebody gets their eyes on Joe Milton for the first time, they just fall in love with the guy. So Collinsworth spent about five minutes talking about how Joe Milton told him before the game that if he wanted to feed on the goal line, he could throw the ball 95 yards in the air.

He probably can. Yeah.

Which is so awesome.

It is awesome and pointless.

Useless.

It's not pointless because it's pointless. It's so much fun to great deep ball. You just hate deep balls. I found.

No, there's no reason to throw it. Five yards.

All right, but no more.

No more yards.

Nico. Nico is vastly different than Joe Milton. Couldn't be any different from Joe Nico.

Nico could throw to all parts of the field. Nico is mobile. I just. I think that him in that offense, with what they have, that is going to be a really tough team to beat.

They're really good around him. The front seven is fantastic. Secondary needs a little. It's gonna be some smoke and mirrors with secondary.

Tennessee is a team that you can argue. Like I'm saying, they have the best QB in the country. You can also save the best defensive player in the country in James Pierce junior. So, like, you put those two things together, those teams tend to be pretty good.

Pretty good.

Got a schedule, schedule stuff.

It's all about that at Oklahoma. It's all about.

They have to go to at Oklahoma. They have to go to at Georgia.

And Alabama at home and Alabama at home.

I don't think they'll win in. I think they'll beat Alabama.

I think they'll beat Alabama. And they also have Mississippi State at home, which we miss.

I feel like having a great pass rusher is going to be pretty important for an offense like that.

Yeah.

Make him look even better as a defensive end. What about LSU?

I don't love them.

It's delusional.

It's kind of a USC situation.

It's hard to say LSU is delusional because, you know, the talents just brimming out of that state and on that roster. But last year the roster was talented and they had the worst defense in the country. And I know they went out and got the LSU fan argue down. You know, we have the best defensive staff in the nation now. They got Bo Davis for defensive line. They got Blake Baker for defensive corner. You're not going from 130th against the pass to like 30th. You might go to 70th, but I don't think it's good enough, and the defense gets marginally better. The offense is definitely getting marginally worse without a Heisman winning quarterback and two first round receivers.

Yeah, their offensive line, though, is big.

It's really good.

They've got two really, tackles. I think that there's a lot of people high on Garrett Nussmeyer, who we have not seen a whole lot of. Although you got a front row.

They're all LSU fans, though.

Yep. But. No, I know what non LSU fans were biggest gotten us. But to your point, it's, again, it's like a USC situation. They lose a Heisman trophy winning quarterback, they lose two first round wide receivers, and that defense sucked ass last year. And how much better can that defense get? Doesn't have to be great if Nuss Meyer is as good as Jayden Daniels, but we don't know that he's as good as Jay Daniels.

There was a report that Harold Perkins is overweight.

Good. It's about time.

I know, but he. That was the whole thing where it was just like. Because everyone was wondering what the hell happened to Harold Perkins?

Harold Perkins is in the running for weirdest career ever.

Ever.

For sacking his third year. Like the freshman Harold Perkins. You think, this is the best college football player I've ever seen in my life. And then he just doesn't show up for a sophomore season. They don't put him in the right spot. Now, who knows where he is this year?

He's also got a 70 year old man's name.

Harold Perkins. Not a great name.

No, he can't. That is not a college student. There's never been a college student named Harold.

Harold Perkins have aura.

The name doesn't, but the guy, Jason Tatum.

All right, well, he's got clogged teams.

Let's see. Vandy.

Probably going to be pretty bad.

Yeah, I don't think Vanity's making the play.

Okay, so, Florida, are they delusional to think that they can win five games this year?

No, I don't think so. I'm torn with Florida because I have just shit on Napier forever because they fired Dan Mullen to hire a guy who's got 50% of his ceiling. But Napier is a bad coach, but I think he's built a pretty good roster. I think the roster is better than the coach. I think they can win. First of all, I think they can win this week against the Miami team I love, and then I think they can win seven games.

What about. Have you seen their last four games?

Oh, yeah. It's LSU Ole miss at home, Georgia.

Ten teams, every but one of them.

Florida State, that's already taken a hit.

So. But I think talent wise, yeah, they're good. I think Billy Napier is a very good developer of quarterbacks. And I think we saw some of that last year with Graham Mertz, who was Sutton looked pretty damn competent with the Gators, more competent than he did with the Badgers. But I also think the x factor there is the guy behind Mertz. If things start going sideways, if they bring in DJ Lagway, that could be kind of like a spark plug to really make. Turn that season around a little bit, make them far more competitive late in the year. But I think they can get to a bowl game. It's just with that schedule, it's. It's impossible to think they're going to get to the playoff.

I don't think the schedule is going to end up being as hard as we think. Okay.

Right now, their last seven games, I'm going to go seven games at Tennessee, lost Kentucky at home.

Win at.

Well, Florida. Georgia. In Jacksonville. At Texas, loss. Home against LSU, winnable.

Winnable.

Home against Ole Miss.

Winnable.

Winnable.

Winnable.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then at Florida State, winnable.

We don't know what LSu and Ole Miss. I think both are volatile. I like Ole Miss better than I like LSU. But by November, both of those teams could either be in the tank or be, like, in the top five.

What about Oklahoma and Texas? The new guns.

All right, Tom, I got to talk to you about Texas.

Okay, go.

I've been going through some emotions about Texas. I've got Texas in the playoff.

Okay.

I think the quarterback is great. I think the offensive talent's great. Offensive line, especially the tackle, is great. How easy is it? They are glossing over. They're just kind of really sandpapering over the fact that they lost Byron Murphy into Vandre sweat in the middle. And you're going to the most. The toughest running conference in the country, and you lost your running defense. I like them, but I can see them falling apart, too.

Yeah, no, I'm with you. I think that. I think Texas people are expecting a little too much from coming into the SEC, and I think the other side people are sleeping a little too easily on Oklahoma. But I agree with you. I feel like defensively, that is a team that could run into some serious problems because between Murphy and sweathead. But, like, that's not. It's not a Georgia situation where when they lost their guys, they had more monsters behind them ready to replace.

They got big people in Texas.

They do not have them on Longhorns depth chart right now, so.

Yeah, get some of them.

Get some churros.

Central, we need fat San Antonio women on the line.

Yes.

I mean, if that's. If that's what Sark should be doing right now, he should just be walking the riverwalk looking for defensive tackles.

He's done worse. Yeah.

Okay.

Instead of focusing on stripper monkeys. Is it there still?

They got married, Brad.

Love is love.

Yeah. Yeah.

Pole assassins.

Pole assassins. Tripper monkey.

What's your hottest take for all of college football? Of college football? The one that you're like. You feel like you're out on a limb.

Mine's Alabama. Mines. Alabama. And it's not. I don't think it's. I don't think Alabama is gonna have a bad year because of the roster talent or because of Taylor bore being a bad coach. I truly think they're gonna. They're gonna plumb new depths of fan base irritation and fan base just throwing themselves off the mountain. As soon as they lose a game, they're not expecting they're gonna lose to Georgia, but as soon as they lose another game, they're not expecting that fan base. I mean, we saw Auburn. Auburn fans made up a fake affair rumor about their coach to try to get him fired a couple years ago. Alabama's gonna go further than that. God knows what these hillbillies are gonna do.

I don't.

I don't know what they're gonna do when they get mad at Kalin Deboer. Everything's nice right now. They don't want a guy named Ceylon Deborah, who's never been in the south as their coach.

So when it goes bad, it's an oxygen problem.

It's an oxygen problem. There's not enough air in the room to support everybody.

Yeah.

All right. What about you, Tom?

Feel like Nico being the best quarterback of the country?

It's a good take.

That's warm.

I will go. Oklahoma finishes with a better sec record than Texas.

Wow.

All right, I got it. I got a. Let me ask about that. Let me probe their.

Probe.

Can I probe?

Probe.

And my first car was a 93 Ford probe. Remember that? Those. So I don't think venable is a very good coach. I think they were a soft. A soft. A soft ten and two last year.

I could. I can see your argument that they were soft ten and two. But the problem is, like we talked about Dylan Gabriel going to Oregon. I think they actually upgraded. I think Jackson Arnold will be a step forward for them. I think he is a great player. I think he's going to have an excellent season. The question for me is, I think defensively they got better last season. The question will be how do they handle the grind of facing LSU offensive lines all season? Because they did. They were able to kind of maneuver in the big twelve way that I'm not 100% sold that they will be able to do here.

But that schedule is nasty, too.

Yeah, the schedule is nasty, but I just think if that, if Jackson Arnold's as good as I think he is, that's going to be a really good Sooners team. Not going to win the SEC. But I, like your concerns about Texas, are shared with me. So I could see that Longhorn is losing four games in the SEC, but.

They don't have, Oklahoma doesn't have the receiver talent for Jackson Arnold that they, that Baker Mayfield had, even that no, Jalen Hurts had. They don't have the receiver talent they had five years ago.

No, but I think that you can overcome that with a great quarterback.

Yeah, but it would certainly help. It was. Especially when you're going, when you got Tennessee coming in one week, you got Alabama, you got all this like it's the other wild card, Ole Miss coming in.

The other wild card is their offensive line. I know Oklahoma Sooners fans have serious concerns about it, and I get it, but I think that Bill Biedenbaugh over the years has done a tremendous job developing offensive.

What a name.

So I give him like, credit.

Like, you could have just made that up.

No, he's a real person.

I thought it was bed and bar.

Bill beaten by.

Is it bed and I thought it.

Was bed and I've always said bed.

And Bob, I've called him beaten by to his face.

I like. Did he, did he react?

No.

Have you ever called him bed and body?

His face, never touched his face.

Speaking of Oklahoma, while we're on the subject, how, how are you on Levy?

I'm excited. He came in and he's not scared to recruit. He's not scared to at least try to recruit. He's not scared to go after.

I would hope he'd be not scared.

Our last guy was, our last guy was terrible.

Okay.

You miss it. He's not scared.

No. No.

To try to, to recruit.

A higher.

Our last guy was terrified of battles. Our last guy was not going after it. And Mike Leach, frankly, he would care. He would recruit you if you said no one times. All right, I'll just go. So we haven't had that. We haven't had to compete in recruiting battles in a while or we haven't gotten to compete in recruiting battles. Offense will be a lot better. Defense is probably going to be really bad, and hopefully the fixes that in the offseason.

Who, what coach is on the hottest seats?

Billy Napier for certain.

What about Ryan day not beating Michigan?

I think, and this is an oxygen problem. I think you're going to see quicker hot seats than you've ever seen before. Like in the SEC, too much oxygen.

That's more oxygen because it ignites quicker.

Yeah.

In the SEC, if Brian Kelly, like, goes seven and five this year, I think that seat heats up real quick. Real quick. I think Brent Venable seat could heat up real quick. If they come in and go six and six in the SEC.

I think Oklahoma fans are a little too much like pot committed with Brent right now. We're so fucking like.

They went six. Yeah, six and six two years ago. Last year, they kind of had a flukey ten and two. If they were to go six and six again in a new conference, that's a lot.

He'll get the new conference excuse, though.

What about, what about Ryan day? If he doesn't beat Michigan, he's in trouble.

I mean, if he doesn't beat Michigan, he's in real trouble.

Real trouble.

I think he's going to beat Michigan, but I think he's in real trouble if he doesn't beat Michigan.

I think if he doesn't beat Michigan, he better win the national title.

Who's sneaky on the hot seat?

Sneaky on the hot seat. I kind of like Brian Kelly.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Yeah, because I think he looks safe. He looks really safe. He won the division his first year, went 93 last year. But again, like that buy out, like, for him, the reason their defense was so bad is he hired a bad defensive coordinator last year and he tried to fix it. He went out, spent a lot of money.

If it doesn't fix, is Dabbo sneaky on the hot seat? No, because they just would never fire him.

I don't think.

I think, like, if Dabo had a bad year, would there be he would.

Go in the next season on a hot seat? I don't think they would pull the trigger.

Okay.

I think to the Clemson's fans he would be on the hot seat. I don't think that administration would ever.

Right. Because there's a difference. Like, there's guys that they just. Nothing's going to happen.

Especially because they don't know how much they're going to spend to get out of the ACC. So the buyout situation could be a hindrance.

I mean, Franklin. Right. Franklin's, I'm about to say, yeah, it.

Like, we just, we talked, but he's.

Never on the hot seat because whenever he's on the hot seat, he just says he's going to go to us.

Yeah, but we talked earlier, like, you.

Know, Penn State's a team that should benefit the most from the expanded playoff because now they're going to get in. What if they don't?

Yeah. He is an all time, like, I'm not going to let you fire me. I'll quit. Because he, every single time he gets on the hot seat, it's like, oh, James Franklin going here, going there.

But let me ask you about one more guy. What about Lincoln Riley? He doesn't seem that far.

Speaker two, I think Lincoln is more likely to jump ship than USC is to fire Lincoln.

Well, that's the exact same principle. He just.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't fire me. I quit.

Yeah.

Coordinator in the NFL.

Yeah.

Mm hmm. But if he doesn't have a good year, he could have trouble finding that kind of gig.

Yeah.

What about, what does Sam Pittman have to do to save his job?

Become a different coach? It's over for him.

It's over. There's not even a seat there.

He's, his seat is so hot. His seat is so hot.

How hot is it?

They went out.

They must do well together.

They went out and hired Bobby Petrino, the guy who disgraced the school, who.

Just, no, that worked out great for Texas.

A disgraced the school like ten years ago. And they went out and hired him. Just because Sam Pittman's fat ass can't coach.

He's not hot. That's just syphilis burns a little bit.

All right, heisman's Nico. Nico, Brandon.

I like Carson Beck.

Yeah.

I think, I think Carson Beck's the best quarterback in the country.

Is it? Georgia could win the national title and they could lose two games. I mean, their, their schedule is crazy for sure.

They, they have four, I think four top ten games, and three of them.

Are on the road.

One's a neutral site.

Yes.

That being Atlanta. But, I mean, they got Clems or Clemson's not a top ten team, but they got at Alabama, at Ole Miss, at Texas.

It's crazy.

It's crazy. But for the Heisman thing, Carson Beck is going to be in Marquis.

Yeah.

All season long. Every, every level of the season. The beginning, the middle, the end. He's going to be there. And then the Florida game, the Tennessee game, like, there's others. I think Carson Beck's going to be in marquee spots and he's going to win the Heisman.

I already have the future on Niko's heisman, but I'm telling you, the turning point will be he'll throw for like 354 touchdowns in the win over Alabama, and then Nicomania will begin. National narrative will start.

There'll be nick nicotines everywhere.

The, the issue, I would. It's a good bet. I don't mind the bet, but it almost is like the hooker thing where he beat Alabama. It goes crazy. And there's a trip to Athens in three weeks, and they just shut you.

Down anytime somebody says the hooker thing.

Yeah. I was like, what?

Where are we going now?

Hidden hooker?

Well, it was raining in that game.

Yeah, sure. Didn't matter. Didn't, didn't even get close.

You got a group of five.

So I had Boise State until they named Amy Schumer their starting quarterback. Until they name. Have you seen the kid?

No, no.

Look up Boise, by the way.

I should, I should use it. Looks like everyone that Hank Bachmire is the wake forest starting quarterback. I've. Every year he just bounces around and I end up getting, losing money. And then halfway through the game, like, fuck. I bet on Hank back. My.

Targaryen.

Yeah, he looks like Amy Schumer. He really does. That's not even a joke. Like, he looks exactly like her. And they got 18 starters back. They got one of the best running backs in the country. The schedule is very manageable. I just. I can't bet on that.

Quarterback kind of looks like a fatter Cody lane.

A little bit.

He looks a little bit like Brendan Walker.

No, he does not look like Brandon Walker.

Yeah. Yeah, he does.

Okay. Would you bet on Brandon Walker to win the national title?

Looks like. He looks like Brandon Jogger. Like if you got a little more exercise.

App state.

I got Memphis.

Yeah. I think Seth Hennigan's a very good player. He's probably one of the better quarterback. I mean, people were going after him in the portal. Memphis was able to hold on to him. Thank you, Fedex. But I do think the Tigers are a team that's kind of flying under the radar out of the american I boise. I'm with you. I was with until they like the Malachi problems. I'm kind of selling out. When Jeff Tedford retired again, for the thousandth time, I kind of sold stock on Fresno. I don't know. I think Liberty's going to get the playoff spot, but I don't play anyone. I don't think Liberty.

Yeah. Don't they play app state?

They do.

They do.

But I don't think they're the best g five team. I just think they play a dog shit schedule filled in a conference where they have more money than the rest of the league combined.

Yeah. We're going to need app state to handle business.

Yeah. Like, unless you got Liberty in the.

Playoff, because that it is. And that bowl game last year where they played whoever they played, Oregon. Yeah. It just. They did not belong there, and it was a sham that they got there, so hopefully they don't crash the playoff party. That's why I got Memphis.

Yeah. Okay, I got one less. You guys have been great together. You guys both know ball.

You guys want to kiss?

I like it, too, because there's a little moment there where you guys were doing, like, a one upsmanship of, like, what, offensive line coach or backup tight end? Can we name?

Yeah.

And I lie. It was like. Like we kind of hit a crescendo. That was just beautiful.

They kind of, if you look at the wide shot of them on the couch right here, it's like alternate universe. Beavis and butthead.

Yeah. You guys are perfect.

High cholesterol Beavis and.

But I actually would say right now, you guys gotta just do it. Do this every time together.

That's fine.

Perfect.

I'm down to do it again.

Are you all right? Oh, look at that. All right, so my last question, and I just thought of this, and I wanted. I want to do this right after. So I have. I'm springing on both of you.

I don't like this looking.

Rollback question. No, no, it's. Listen, it's fair. Rowback question, rho back.com promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers shorts. Robec.com promo code take. We got to figure out who's the college football expert for part of my take. So I think what we should do is we should do a draft of the playoff. You guys go back and forth, and we'll give, let's say, one point for making the playoff and then one point for every playoff win. Is that fair?

So it's a season long. It's a. Okay.

Like, do we get a trophy?

Yeah, you would get college football. Yeah, we'll make a trophy for you.

So we were gonna do this just in the event that Brandon Walker won.

Yeah, well, we'll just pretend it never happened if it looks like he's gonna win.

Yeah.

So we're both drafting twelve teams. Or we just drafted you both drafting.

Twelve teams, but you can. No repeats.

Okay.

All right.

What do we think about that?

I made some notes.

I was gonna say, are you made some notes?

Yeah, I wrote down.

You need to keep notes to know who's gonna make the.

Wow.

I think we know who's in the lead.

Should we do. Should we do one point for making the playoff, 1.2 points per win, two points for per win. And if you get a buy, that's our automatic two points as you count as a win.

Or how about this? One point to make it, one point for a first round win, two for second, three.

Yes. Because you don't want to wait them the same. Yeah, because Ohio State, if they get.

A buy, one point for winter winning. Or for making it. One point for first round win, two points.

Memes, write this down.

Second round win, three points.

No.

Four points for the national champion.

Yes. Go. 1234.

Yeah, I just said that.

You said 1124.

No.

What are the odds?

Any of us remember all this?

Yeah. Memes. Get right down.

All right.

Okay. Who would like to go for. Actually, you know what? We'll do the lottery ball this side.

Three.

Things. That would be funny if we made you guys do that.

Well, let him call it.

I'll take odds.

Okay. If you get. If you get the number dead on, you get the first two picks.

Three.

Oh, fuck. 71.

Eight.

Wait, I just.

Wait.

Doesn't get enough.

Shut the fuck up.

Yes. 71. Which fucks him.

Yeah, well, no, I would override.

It would override.

I hope it's 894.

94.

That's first pick for me.

All right, first pick. Snake draft, though. So you want the first pick?

Yeah.

Well, no, actually it's not snake draft. It's just one. One. One pack.

And fourth, it can snake.

No, just. No, I said no.

I hold on to a lottery ball, see if we. Snake.

No snake.

No snake.

No snake. Do you want first pick or would you like to give it to Tom?

I would of course like first pick.

Oh, well, that's a very unclassy move by you.

What do we have, the fucking lottery?

Almost all the way down here.

I drove further.

No, but that's. I mean, come on, he's our guest.

You do it every day. What was the point?

If I was Tom, I would want the second.

Yeah, but he's our guest. Come on.

I'm good.

Would you like the first pick.

No, I'm good.

Tom, take the first.

Wow.

Brandon, Alfred, you listen. As the number one college football expert on this podcast, Brandon is my guesthouse. The guest.

That's true. Good point.

I'll kick you in the chin.

Good point.

All right, I'm going first.

Mm hmm.

Ohio State.

Fuck. Fuck. I. Brandon.

Yeah.

At it again.

So I get the next two.

No.

Yeah, I thought he didn't snake. Gee, I'll get to after that, Brandon.

I'll go with Georgia.

Okay.

I feel like they got a chance to be pretty good. I mean, I. Somebody told me they got the heisman at quarterback and.

Good point, Tom.

And then I'll take Oregon.

Okay.

Fucking me, cuz, you get two pics. Yeah, I got it, I got it. Everybody chill out.

Did you say Tom's fucking me? No, nobody's fucking that on a quote card, please.

Gotta think about who's gonna get.

I understand, but I don't. Oh, okay. I'm, I'm gonna do it cuz I believe in them. I'm taking Clemson.

Wow.

Give me Texas.

Texas. Clemson. Okay.

Give me Tennessee.

Okay.

Give me Penn State.

Fuck you.

Okay.

I was trying to see, I'm doing the game theory. I'm trying to figure out what he wants. I saw his notes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, Brandon.

It's getting harder already, isn't it?

Yeah, well, the problem is my beliefs and my thoughts about what I said. I think it's gonna happen, but also I want to pick a team, but.

Oh, yeah, not enough oxygen. You can't pick.

No, it's a different, it's different.

Oh.

I want to pick Utah, but I already said I don't think they're making the playoffs.

See, but that way you cover all your bases.

Correct.

Why don't you pick the team that you think is gonna make the playoffs there?

Yeah, you're right.

Do you need just to remind you? So I'm picking to who's gonna make the playoffs.

All right, so we've already got, hold on. We already got Ohio State, Oregon. We got Penn State in the SeC. We've picked Texas, Georgia, Tennessee.

Writing this down because I've already forgotten.

Brandon, you're, you're thinking of Kansas State. If that's what you're gonna go with your big twelve champion.

I'm gonna take a Ole Miss.

Wow. Make sure that graphic just has that.

Yeah.

Wow.

Get a graphic of like branded in.

Red and blue and Miami robe and Miami. Yeah.

All right.

All right. Tom, you kind of stuck me with Florida State.

You saw a bit. No, um.

I can't believe brands a golem. Miss.

Yeah. I want to be the number one. I'm gonna be the football expert here.

Turning your bad.

Not been a single big twelve team.

Yeah. I'm gonna take Kansas State.

Okay. And there's also a really good team that's won a lot of national titles.

I don't know why you have to talk like that. I don't know why you have to remind people that there's teams out there.

You mean like Alabama?

Yeah. Understands.

I know Alabama's out there.

Knows Alabama.

You don't have to get sassy about it.

I know Alabama. Give me Alabama.

All right. Good pick. Tom.

Give me another name.

Okay.

Yeah. Shit, that's a good pick.

Yeah, that's great value.

And utah.

Okay.

That might be the difference right there.

Mm hmm.

Should we give Tom Notre Dame?

No, you shouldn't, because this is a draft.

Yeah, I think so.

What do you mean?

I get to swap one team at the end.

Tom gets a little miss.

Okay.

Give me Michigan.

Okay.

And I'll take Florida State. I'm not really super thrilled about it.

No, you don't.

It's value at this point.

Oh, yeah.

How many rounds do you think we could just have them go back and forth before we told them?

They were just named every team.

How many teams have we named?

You both have. Tom has eight teams and I have seven. Or you have seven.

Okay, teams, just chill out, everybody. Everybody relax.

More relaxed than you are, dude.

No, you're not. You've never been more like me in my life.

I check my fucking aura ring, it'll tell you right now I'm relaxed.

The fact that you're wearing an aura ring says you're not relaxed.

No, it says he has.

Yeah, I got aura.

You have diabetes.

Type two.

The best guy, you're going to pick one of the two. Yeah.

He can't even get the number one diabetes. Number one college football expert.

Um.

You got two. You don't have one.

Fuck.

Come on.

It's hard, right? Yeah, I know.

It's like now we've reached the point where we both have to pick teams we don't actually believe. So it's like.

Yeah, give me. Give me LSU.

Okay.

And Oklahoma State.

Okay. Mmm hmm.

Agreed.

Mmm.

Like, there's a lot of meat on that building in the big twelve.

There is. I'm just trying to, like. That's the thing. Like, the big twelve is just such a random number generator.

Mmm. Tough.

Give me liberty. They're gonna be in it.

Okay.

Give you debt, death.

And Utah. Kansas State are the only big twelve teams we've taken.

Wait, just took Oklahoma State.

Wait.

Took Oklahoma State.

Wait, hold on.

What?

You have liberty?

Yeah.

No one's taking Oklahoma.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Yes. Just throwing it out there.

I don't want to want them.

Okay.

He's not gonna take them, so I'll take him later. I tricking him into taking him.

Who knows?

We taken Usc yet?

No.

Give me USC.

Good. Pick.

Your both. Is it?

I feel like I've got the. Yeah, I took liberty in USC. I feel like I've got the entire Big ten except for Ohio State.

Well, I'm about to. I'm turning fully to the dark side. I've already got Ole Miss. Give me Iowa.

That's a disgusting fucking.

You're a disgusting fucking pick.

Yeah, but I was picked first.

They might go ten and two and be terrible schedules, easy.

Yeah, they might. Yeah, Illinois might go ten and two.

No, they might not know. But that's 100% Iowa.

Does your big Kate McNamara guy, that's cool.

No, I'm not a Kate McNamara guy.

What kind of guy are you?

Fun.

I'm a Luther burden guy. Give me Missouri.

Okay, Missouri.

I don't believe in that one. That was very.

In Iowa.

Yeah, that was bad. That's bad. We're at the bottom of the barrel here.

No, we are.

I can't fault you for the word.

23Rd and 24th teams in the country.

Give me Kansas.

Okay, wait on Kansas is worse. Both those things I just picked.

Yeah, cuz that's how it goes when you draft better teams.

Go for hollering.

Why am I hollering? Where are we fucking back in Mississippi?

God only know. I wish we were.

All right for the. For the last pick, the 12th pick. You can pick any team the other guy has except for the top three of their picks. So I'll list them for you and then Brandon, you can do the same.

But how is that going to be the 12th pick if we're just you?

Just.

Same amount of teams.

Yes. Still the same on teams. So you can pick.

No, no. Brand's right. So there's still only eleven teams.

Yeah.

I don't like it.

Yeah. I just want to make it as confusing as possible.

You get to pick rats.

Yeah.

You get to pick one team for the other guy.

You got two idiots. But think of any more teams and you're trying to absolute.

No. No.

You get to put a team on the other guy. But they can't be a shitty team. Memphis and me and big cat will decide if they're shitty. Put something moderately shitty on your.

Has to be adequately shitty.

Um, God damn, give me Virginia Tech.

Oh, nice pick.

And do I have one more?

Yes.

NC state.

Okay, when acc.

Got the ACC covered.

All right, so Tom, you have Georgia, Oregon, Tennessee, Penn State, Kansas State, Alabama, Michigan, Florida State, Liberty, USC, Kansas, Virginia Tech, Brandon, you have.

I don't like Alabama Michigan being in the middle of yours.

Ohio State, Clemson, Texas, Ole Miss, Miami, Notre Dame, Utah, LSU, Oklahoma State, Iowa, Missouri, NC State, Notre Dame. Might have been Steeler draft.

Might have been.

It was a very good pick. It was an excellent value because they.

Should be in the playoff. And that will get you one point no matter what.

Yeah, well, they already have lost their starting left tackle after they had to replace me.

I go to Texas A and M. Oh, Texas A and M. Why wasn't that picked?

Because they're not very good.

Okay, that's a good reasoning.

Marks Freeman also say, now what don't.

You host a show with a Texas A amp fan?

But I now PFT and I are going to draft the rest of the teams that weren't mentioned. And if any of those teams make the playoffs, we become the college football.

Y'All are going to become. You're going to be white's roots own assistant manager.

West Virginia.

If any of them even make it, we then become the experts. All right, boys, it's been awesome. Thank you so much.

I'd call it awesome. I mean, it was tolerable.

Yeah, it was tolerable. New annual.

What was the draft for? I thought we were competing.

Oh, no, no, you both will be. No, because listen, the draft still has a chance.

Michigan were national title last year, the other team still get to play.

That's true. And you were very wrong about Michigan last year.

No, not really.

Yeah, you were.

Not really.

Yeah, you were.

You know who wasn't the number one college football expert on? Pardon my table?

Oh, Tom Frenelli was called it. Yeah, true. He called it.

Are you still saying that you weren't wrong about Michigan, Brandon?

That feel good that you were able to call Michigan for a national champion?

Well, you literally said they had to.

Do was do win a national champion.

With a national championship.

You can't talk about states.

You have a blood oath.

I can. Well, we won a national title. Baseball 2021.

Oh, that didn't really count, cuz. Ole miss one the year after that doesn't matter. Wiped it away.

We both won. Yeah, we're both winners. Mississippi's winners.

Everybody's a winner.

Up to 35th in education.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, we found that fact out today.

Yeah, that's huge.

Normal.

So suck it. Arkansas.

They introduced books.

God, who are the 15 states that are worse?

West Virginia was there.

Almost everybody around us. In the south.

You guys just all moved out of general area.

Made every rising tide lifts all boats. Mississippi is leading the way.

Yes. All right, thank you, boys. Tom for Nelli. Go listen to his podcast, cover three. Cover three. I know. Camera, cover three. I was. I was thinking about whether I want to plug Brandon's. No, listen, the COVID three.

Brandon has a podcast.

Ish.

Several.

A show.

Family.

Multiple shows, family. What about wrestling? Plug, wrestle.

We're working on it.

Wrestling.

Wrestling.

What about unnecessary roughness?

Yeah. Dude, you chose all the act. You plug in the show that you're on?

Yeah, why not?

All right, I'm on the act.

Okay. There we go.

Big cat, Brandon Walker.

Yeah, mostly sports is good.

Thank you. Yeah, family.

It's not as good as wrestling.

Who would you say is. Is the Batman and who's the robin, mostly?

Oh, Titus is Batman. Yeah.

And I don't know that that's true.

I mean, whose name is first in the graphic?

Yeah, Titus is Batman and Robin. Brandon's catgirl.

Scat woman.

Got the game.

No, I said cat girl. You're not even Catwoman. Catwoman is Connor Griffin. All right. Thank you, boys.

Thank you.

Tom Fernelli and Brandon Walker were brought to you by our good friends over at Chevy. We love Chevy. Chevy. There's a reason why we've never done a Mount Rushmore pickup trucks. That's because for part of my take, there's only one pickup truck, the Chevy Silverado. Why's that? Well, Silverado is a partner. It's a partner you can depend on. We've all spent time driving and using the Silverado for all kinds of part of my take jobs, adventures, and other shenanigans. It was our ride for a cross country trip to the Super bowl. Helped us dig the biggest hole ever dug in the state of Ohio last year at grit week. It got us on that drive to the Super bowl through a crazy ice storm that took us through Cincinnati, through Memphis, to the beautiful bass pro shop pyramid. And Silverado was with us along the way. Kept us safe, kept us entertained. The screens are fantastic in the Silverado. There's a lot of room in there. Feels like a luxurious ride in a very tough, gritty pickup truck. Silverado brings that grit. It's legendary grit. They sponsored the low man trophy for the nation's best college fullback.

They get grit up to eight cameras. Inside the Silverado, you have 14 different views to help make driving, towing and parking all easier. And the new blacked out look that they got of the new Silverado HD trail boss chef's kiss. It's awesome. So head over to chevy.com, build your own Silverado or your Silverado HD. Check out all the current offers on Silverado. Discover a world of strength and capability all behind the wheel of our favorite truck, the Chevy Silverado. And now, here is Joey Chestnut, american hero. And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is an american hero, one of our favorite Americans of all time. It is Joey Chestnut. And we've got some beef that we're settling. Labor Day weekend. Joey Chestnut going up against Kobayashi. Unfinished beef. So, Joey, first of all, let's, let's thank you for joining us. We missed you. We missed you dearly. On, on 4 July. It didn't feel like 4 July. Where are we at with that part of everything that's happened in the last six months?

Yeah, I miss being there, man. It's, they haven't reached out at all. Oh, yeah. So it's, I don't know if they're waiting to see how this thing goes with this contest goes. Maybe they're hoping I lose and maybe, I don't know, but that's not going to happen. All they've done is make me more hungry, make her a new record. I'm going to, I'm going to smash that. I'm going to eat more hot dogs than ever before.

The tiger right there.

I missed that content. Who knows? Hopefully we can figure out something. But right now I'm just thinking about Labor Day and Kobayashi.

Yeah, they poked the bear and they might be very upset that they did that. One last question about what happened on 4 July weekend, because we had your back. I love watching Joey compete. It's one of my favorite parts of 4 July weekend. And the report came out that there was a dispute behind some sort of vegan or vegetarian hot dog product. And then I saw the spin machine kick in high gear. And then all these people were saying that you wanted to eat vegetarian hot dogs during the hot dog eating contest. And I said, that doesn't sound like something that Joey Chestnut would do. This sounds like they're trying to get in front of the narrative. Can you clear us up as to what happened and why they kicked you out?

Oh, they did some weird things. So, yeah, I started working with impossible foods, and by my, all my previous agreements, I've been allowed to work with, work with them. All agreements we had, they had companies that I couldn't work with and they were like real hot dog companies. And so this year I said they knew I was going to be working with impossible food, so they put them on the list of companies I can't work with after I, after they knew that I was working with them. And it was, it was lame. It was, yeah. And I couldn't go back on my deal with impossible, so I was in a tight spot. And then they, then they started leaking all this information to the news and saying, trying to tell people that I wanted to eat vegan hot dogs on, in contests and that, which wasn't the case. I do, I eat clean after contests because I do eat like a madman and so I take days off of eating meat.

Yeah.

So it's, they, they try to, I'm, there's probably things I could have done, but they pissed me off a little bit and, but, and it sucks because everybody wants to see a new record on the 4 July and I want to do it.

Yeah.

So I'm not giving up. I love that contest. I love 4 July. I love eating in New York City and I'm hoping I can do it again.

Yeah. Because that was, that was the saddest part. The most disconcerting part for us is people saying, oh, Joey likes vegan hot dogs more than regular hot dogs. We're like, no, he doesn't. This guy's american through and through. He puts his life on the line for our enjoyment every 4 July. So just so we can set it straight. You understand? You eat after, but, like, you're always going to eat regular hot dogs when we're doing competition.

This contest for Netflix, it's all beef hot dogs, and I eat meat, crazy amounts of meat. But I do take a break from eating meat, which is, which is, I think it helps me so I can go get back into it so I can push harder.

Yeah.

So it's, it's weird that they got, they were so sensitive.

Yeah.

And, dude, I got, and the way they were trying to control the narrative changed the narrative to make it look like I was an American, which is, it irked me a little bit. But, you know, I love the guy who won, Pat Bertoletti. He did awesome. But I think me and Kobayashi are gonna probably eat more than he did in six minutes.

Yeah.

And we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna push each other to ridiculous limits.

The fake news was out to get you and it's been a long time since you've competed against Kobayashi.

Right?

Do you remember the last time you guys went head to head?

Oh, yeah.

Last time we were in Singapore, it was one of the only times that the audience was in his fan is his corner. And he started out, he was ahead of me, and they were, like, cheering. And then I tied it up and they got all quiet. It was a good feeling. Yeah, but, dude. Yeah. So he's an eater, and I know he hasn't. Last couple years, he's taken some time off, but there's nobody who pushes me like him. And every time we eat against each other, we. We break records. It's gonna. It's. Oh, my God. Yeah. Between eating against him and the hunger, just missing the hot dog contest on the 4 July, I've been training and I'm ready to. Ready to eat like an animal.

It's bird versus magic in hot dog eating competitions. You just gotta. You bring the best out of each other. So what exactly is gonna be the setup up for this hot dog eating competition?

Oh, yeah. So Netflix, they want to announce some of the rules. I don't know if I've. I might have let some stuff slip, but they're some of the rules. We're eating a little bit different, be a little bit cleaner, but I've been practicing and I'm. I'm an. I'm a machine right now, so it shouldn't matter too much that we're eating them a little bit different. But a ten minute contest, all beef hot dogs, just two of us, will be kind of slanted so we can see each other while we're eating. And it's. Yeah, it's gonna be intense. And there'll be a couple undercard events. Some eaters, international eaters.

Love that.

Yeah. And, dude, it's. It's gonna be another thing. Only two eaters. So the hot dogs they're making, they're gonna be super fresh and it'll be helpful. Good food is always easier to eat. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna turn it on.

Fast buns. Yeah.

We can have the similar buns to what we have in Nathan.

Oh, yeah. Well, there'll be a little bit different buns, but they'll be fast and they'll make. Because they're not sitting outside in the heat, they won't turn stale.

Yeah.

So these ones will. I'll build you quick swallow and move on. I'll go beast mode.

So. So when you say cleaner, are we not dunking them? That sounds like we're not dunking them.

You didn't hear that from me, but okay.

Wow.

That would definitely be cleaner, but which is awesome. I mean, it's. It's more enjoyable to eat them without dunking.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. The slush. The dunking is the grossest thing ever.

It's one of the. We've. We've. With practice and competition, we. I know that I can make a new record, even with the different roles.

So where's the. Is there beef? Like, is Co. Is Kobayashi beefing with you more than you're beefing with him?

Because he's very angry. He's an angry, angry man. He knows how to hold a grudge.

Okay.

He's blocked me, and we're doing, like, a low press tour, and he won't do anything in the same room as me, which is all right. I mean, we're not. We're not here. It's not competitive. Nice thing. We have to. We have to. We're gonna be pushing each other to our uncomfortable limits, and he. He knows I'm gonna. He knows what's coming, and I know it's coming. He's gonna push me, and I I. Or it's. When everything in my body is telling me to slow down or stop, I'm gonna keep pushing it.

Are you guys love that?

Are you doing a weigh in beforehand? That would rock.

I don't know what they're doing exactly. I know they're doing away in for the hot dogs. I think they. Before.

Oh, they're weighing the hot dogs just.

Like, so that people like, oh, these are the hot dogs they're eating so they can bet on them. I think.

Yeah.

I think right now, the over under is, like, 66, and I. I'm gonna blow that out.

Okay.

I love that. I love the confidence from you. I'm curious, when you're. When you're competing, you mentioned that you're gonna be, like, slanted a little bit so you'll be able to see your opponent. That's probably very different from how it is in most of the eating competitions that I've seen, where it's just you. You get to stare straight ahead. You look at your food, you look straight ahead, and you focus in this, you're gonna be able to see your opponent as your opponent's eating. Are you planning on monitoring him and. And using him as, like, a pace cardinal? Are you just gonna try to zone out and do your normal thing?

I'm gonna go out hard, and hopefully I'm finding a rhythm where I'm just almost like a zombie, where I just find this, do the same thing over and over again and can make sure I'm breathing and I'll hear, I'll see numbers. And I'm hoping that I. Yeah, usually if everything's working right, I'm just like in a zone. If I'm having a hard time, then I start looking around a little bit too much. But if everything's going good, I can just. Just almost teleport towards the end of the contest, I'm like, oh, yeah, I know what I ate, even if I don't, even if I lose track of numbers.

Yeah. Do you have any self talk while you're eating? Any things that you think to yourself? I know a lot of elite athletes. They stress the importance of the mental game and putting themselves in the right headspace. Are you. Are you saying things to yourself internally or are you telling yourself, okay, one dog at a time.

So it's. My biggest thing is stay calm, breathe. I know. I'm so. I'm so amped up and intense the most. If I get a little bit too amped up, I try to swallow too much at one time. If I stay calm, breathe. If I hold. End up holding my breath, then I'm getting winded and screws up my rhythm. So I just stay calm. I love this. This is my happy place.

Yeah.

And it's. This is I. Yeah. Last couple years on the 4 July, I didn't break a record. I wasn't even close. So this is a. I love competition. It brings out and everybody and I, we're going to. It's going to make me. It's going to make me work.

Yeah. All right, so I got one last question. Joey. It's Roback question. Rhoback.com promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code take. So September 2, everyone tune in. Netflix 03:00 p.m. eastern time. Unfinished beef. I hate asking this question, Joey, but I have to ask it. If you're thinking about your career, where are you in terms of how many years do we have left? Because I don't want to. I already did this year without. I didn't even watch out because I love you so much. I didn't even watch the Nathan's on 4 July. I was boycotting out of respect for you. So I'm hoping that you'll be back next year. But what do you think? What is your body telling you in terms of? Are you in your prime still. Are you on the back nine? Where are you, Athenae?

It's, it's, it's weird, like, the way my practices have gone this year. I'm breaking records. I'm doing the best I ever have, but I am older. There's that. It'd be silly for me to say this is my prime, but I know my body so well, it takes a little bit longer to recover, so it's, I definitely have more years, and my doctor's really happy with everything. Did, did the scope on both ends, and everything's working well, and so I got years, and I'm not even looking at that. I'm not looking at the end. I'm looking at just hot dogs right now and hot dogs in the future and some awesome records and some oktoberfest events and, yeah, it's gonna be, it's gonna be a fun ride. I'm staying on this stand on this wave.

We're gonna put that on a quote card. Hot dogs right now. Hot dogs in the future. Yeah, I like it.

I don't want to, I don't want to think about what the 4 July is gonna be like, like, in perpetuity without Joey chestnut. Have you thought, actually, when you're watching the Olympics this year, did you see some of those events and be like, why isn't eating in the Olympics, dude?

Yeah, there, there was a couple that, uh. Yeah, eating is eating, but, yeah, there's, there should, like that breakdancing. There's some serious there. But then. That woman was a joke, ray gun.

Yeah.

But, you know, eating, it wouldn't be that weird. Every host country to have an eating contest.

Yeah, I think it should be an olympic sport because it's one thing that everybody that's ever born has done. So you can actually say, joey Chestnut is the best eater of all time to eat. And you can't say that about most sports because some people, they grow up in places that maybe don't play basketball or don't play, don't do the luge, you know, for Winter Olympics. But Joey Chestnut, it's like you can say definitively, this man is the best eater to ever walk the face of the earth.

Yeah, it's. Yeah. Like, there's old women who know what it's like to be full. Not that many people have ever hit a home run. They're not that many people slam dunked a basketball. It's so. It's so everybody can kind of relate to and kind of measure up.

Yeah, I would like to see that in the epics.

I would, too. All right, well, Joey, we're going to be rooting for you. We're excited for it and great to see you and let's, let's just never retire. Let's just keep, keep eating forever. Oh.

Until the wheels fall off.

Love it, love it, love it. All right, thanks so much, Joey. Appreciate it, man.

Take care, guys.

All right, thanks, Joey. Joey Chestnut was brought to you by the farmer's dog. The days are warmer. The walks are longer. One easy way to help your dog shine this season is with fresh, healthy food from the farmer's dog. The farmer's dog makes real fresh dog food. It delivers it right to your door. Recipes are developed by vet nutritionists made from real meat, real veggies, and portioned just for your dog, making it easy to say goodbye to burnt brown balls and feed your dog real food with real benefits. Blake had the turkey this morning. He loves the turkey. He had the beef last night. Turkey this morning. They've got different flavors. Your dog won't get bored of them. They love their food. It's smart, healthy pet food that you can feel good about feeding your pup. It's the best option for dogs of all life stages. It's not kibble. It's not can goo. It's real, healthy food. Blake's been on farmer's dog for, I think, the last but seven, eight months. Stella's been on farmer's dog for five years. Yeah, farmers dogs. Great stuff. Dogs at a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer than overweight dogs.

It makes it easy to help your dog maintain their ideal weight because they pre portion all the food they send it to. You just cut it open, put it in the dish. It's very easy. And nothing like getting that farmer's dog delivery straight to your door. Yet don't have to go to the store. They send it to you on a schedule. You can get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at the farmersdog.com pmT. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to the farmersdog.com pmt. You get 50% off at the farmers dog.

Okay, let's wrap up with fyre fest. Also, quick show announcement. Huey's summer internship has completed. So we appreciate him being around. It was a lot of fun having him around. So, yeah, it ended. He's going back to Michigan. So thank you to Huey. He's got everyone still. Follow him on twitter. NBA hole. Is that. Yeah. NBA hole.

NBA hole. Yeah, he went. He went out with a bang with the Jerry O'Connell.

Yeah, Jerry and Hughie were a great tandem. So yeah, everyone follow him. We'll see what he does next. But we appreciate him being our summer intern. And next summer we will probably have another intern, but we have to figure that out. We do it earlier too. Fuck that part out.

Well, we were gone for like the whole month of July.

Yeah, maybe next summer. Let's not be gone whole month. July.

I don't know about that.

Just a whole month.

Show week.

Yeah.

4 July.

Yeah, yeah.

Gone the whole month of July.

I'd rather be here, but my fire fest of the week is. Goes back to camp Arsenal. Last week we played 16 inch softball for the first time. Big has been preaching about it for a while. Had a lot of fun. Probably my favorite part of camp. And then this past Thursday, we had our twelve inch softball game. Hardball on the pitcher. And then I got absolutely smoked. Kid hit a. Hit a screamer up the middle as hard as you could smash into my shin. I heard a crack and I like limped off. But after it initially happened, based off the sound, I thought like, I broke my leg and the dunking wasn't gonna happen. Turn out just be.

Oh, that would have been the reason.

That would have been a great excuse.

Yeah, but I didn't want to. I don't want to give up. I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up. I still think I'm gonna do it. It's a big month.

September is gonna be. Yeah. Why would you give up? We work in a basketball office.

Yeah, but I just, it really. The 16 inch was so fun and then getting hurt playing twelve inch, and I never really loved twelve inch, but I've converted you. You've converted me. And then I was already converting me. Max, we're already saying like, this is going to be because our. We have a playoff game tonight. We haven't won a single game the regular season. We're probably going to get smoked again. But I was already at the gaming. Like, I wish we were playing 16 inch next season. We're playing 16 inch. Like, this is going to be our last game. And then I almost like had a life life threatening.

Ironically, it's more about playing small ball when you're playing with a 16 year softball.

Oh, yeah.

Because you, you try to direct the hits. Hit it where they ain't. There's some dudes that play at the park next to my house and they take it so seriously.

Oh, yeah.

They show up wearing like the skin tight. They're almost like motorbike racing shirts that they wear. They're, like, really tight, flashy colors. They're all six 2230. And they just mashed and the ball. And it's so much fun to play.

Yeah. Old dudes can play 16 inch, which tells you that that's the style of the game. It's a thinking man's softball. So I've. It's fully converted. We're gonna get a 16 inch. I told you guys when you guys started the. The twelve inch league, I was like, the minute you get a 16 inch league, I'm in. But I'm not playing twelve inch. What time's your game tonight? Eight.

I want to bail.

I can't make it. Shit. I really wanted to be there for you boys. I'm not gonna be able to make it.

We're.

We're doing, like, the office. Everyone pointing a gun at each other. Meme in our group chat, waiting for someone to bail.

Here's an idea. Is I don't.

Everyone else is ready to.

Why don't you guys bring a 16 inch ball and be like, wanna do this instead?

I'll just bring the balls.

Yeah, no, but go buy a 60 inch ball and be like, hey, let's play 60 inch. We should. Worth a shot. You guys should bail, because if we win tonight, the next game is next Thursday. Oh, yeah.

You can't.

You gotta. You gotta bail.

Throw it.

You gotta bail. Do bail now so that you can at least let the other guys not have to show up. Like, don't bail and not tell anyone. Just bail.

And they're already playing chat. Right.

They're already playing after. And so if we want tonight, it'd be a doubleheader. So the team that we're playing is. Is only gonna like. They're still playing tonight.

Max, tell them. Tell them. I demanded to.

Bayong, what's your team record worry we have?

Oh, for the season.

Oh, for. You haven't won a game.

Well, they did. They did Thursday nights in the summer, which is an impossible thing.

You haven't won a game.

We had a full team one time. Yeah. You guys should never have done Thursday nights in the summer.

So you're thinking, like, Thursday nights, we'll play some games, drink some beer.

No, it's a Tuesday or Monday thing because it's summer. So then you drink the beers.

Wait, if you win this game, you make the playoffs.

We're in the play.

Everyone makes play.

Everyone makes the playoffs?

Is the playoffs.

Oh, yeah. Just bad.

What if you want it all? What if you guys just fucking want it all.

You got it. You got to throw this game even fun twelve.

Softball is just like a glorified tee ball.

Wait, how does. How does. I agree. That's why 16 inches is far superior. How does the team have a double header if it's the playoffs?

I think we're in the play schedule.

Oh, wait, but how does. What do you mean there? So you could have a double header.

Yes.

Ah, that's what I'm saying. So if we forbid the teams, the team.

Could the team just go on, just play the next game.

Right. Right.

You either got a bail, so we're not like. Or you got a winner.

Yeah.

No, yeah. Just bail. This is a no brainer. Bail. They're gonna still get to play softball tonight, and they don't have to get there at 07:00.

Hank, how about. Let's get. How about you get Jose on the.

On. Add me to the. Add me to the group text.

I mean, live Joe's. Joe's call will be funny.

No, I mean the group text. Add me the group text. I mean the group text right now. All right. Pft.

My fyre fest of the week is. I'm on a diet.

Yeah.

I have to go on a diet during football season, and it's not fun. It's not fun at all.

There's.

I died off offseason.

There's no good time. There's no really good time to die. But this may be the worst time of year to diet, and I'm trying to. So I went to the doctor. Doc told me cholesterol is a little bit high. I would not be dieting during football season if it wasn't like, okay, you got to bring this number down. But I have to. And so I've been eating super healthy, and it sucks. It sucks eating healthy. I had buffalo cauliflower the other night. Everybody was like, you're not going to miss chicken wings. Guess what? I fucking miss chicken wings.

I kind of like buffalo cauliflower.

It's not the same.

It's not the same.

It's not the same.

If you look, you just look at it as something different. It's kind of good.

And everyone always tells you, oh, there's ways that you can eat healthy and still enjoy your food. That's not true. It's not true. You can't. All the good stuff in the world is bad for you. All the bad stuff in the world is good for you, or all the bad tasting stuff is good for you. All the good tasting stuff is bad for you.

No, just eat. Eat no carbs. That's the way I do it.

But I love carbs.

Fucking model health.

I love carbs.

I know, but that's the only way to lose weight is just go, no carbs.

I'm not trying to lose weight. Yeah, I'm trying. Trying to bring down the less cholesterol.

Just eat bacon.

Does that do it?

No, I don't think so. Yeah. All I know about cholesterol is that, listen, I don't. I don't see a doctor. I take care of my cholesterol. I have a fucking bowl of Cheerios every morning.

Yes. I started eat, like, oatmeal, steel cut oats, all that shit. It's not fun. There's no fun in it whatsoever. And it just sucks because I'm gonna. On Sundays, we eat junk food. All we jump eat. And I'm gonna have to be the guy in the office that brings in, like, a tupperware thing of tuna and avocado.

Literally, it will never happen.

Never happen. And if you do, honestly, I'll fight you. Yeah, you should know, if you bring in a guy, if I bring in.

A health timeout Sunday and I get slapped, I'm going to be like, yeah, I deserve that.

No, no. If you bring in a tupperware of tuna fish on a football Sunday, you're done.

I'm not eating it in the room.

No, but I'm saying. Just bringing that, like, Monday through Friday.

Yeah, it's over. I know you can't do that. And then. So what happens is I. Because I complained about.

I don't think you understand that you can't.

I get it.

I get over you keep pretending like, pft. That would be no different than me being like, hey, pft, I've just committed five murders.

I'm gonna sneak out.

Help me.

I'm gonna have to sneak out to the car and eat my healthy food.

I can't help you.

It's bad. It's bad. And people complain because I have the take that there's no good food. No food that's good for you. That actually does taste good. And then everyone's like, actually, you can eat steak all you want and be super healthy.

Yeah, there's no carb.

Is that true that you can just eat steak all the time and if the only thing you eat is steak, you'll be.

Yes.

Your fat levels will go down.

Yes, 100% true. People don't. Do not mess with sundaes. There's no dieting on football Sundays. That's not a thing.

I might just fast.

We don't do. That's fine. You don't eat. That's fine.

I might just know you don't get.

To eat healthy shit around us when we're stuffing our face with everything else.

I might. I might just not eat.

That's fine. The feet. Not eating is a choice that you can make. But if you bring a tupperware of tuna and avocado.

Yeah, it's bad.

It's on site. It's bad because then you're gonna make everyone else feel bad, and that's not okay.

That's what I'm saying. I'd have to go and eat it in shame.

Sunday's a safe space.

What if I just do, like, two slices of pizza?

That's fine. It's pretty much bringing other things, like healthy food. If you bring a Tupperware on a Sunday, you're. You're an asshole.

If we get pizza, you can even.

Order a salad from the pizza place. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say shit to that. Can there be tupperware? That's the problem.

I want pizza. Could there be. Can we have one thing that is the color green on the pizza?

Yeah.

Okay. That's healthy.

Yeah. All right, we're update on the group text, but I am gonna have a.

Six pack by the Super bowl, and we'll be shape of lives.

Oh, I am too. Adding in my friend Dan from work. I said, hey, guys, dan from work here. I think we got a bail tonight. I'll be the first to say it. I'm out. And then Tom Lee said, it's the playoffs, Dan. Yeah, I know, but we can't make it. Sorry, guys. Great season.

My hero.

Okay, my fyre fest. Simple I for. Thank you, everyone who watched Doug streams. We won an natty on Wednesday night. It was. Took me seven years to win a natty, but my fire fest is. There was a point. We played in an incredible semifinal game, and in the overtime, I scored first kick the extra point. UNC scored second kick the extra point. UNC went third, scored, didn't get the two point conversion. I then scored, was getting ready to do two point conversion, and the game gave me the option to kick the extra point. I did, and it's the only thing I regret, because now a lot of people say asterisks no matter what they say. Sliders. Even though I show the sliders, I wish I just gone for two.

So you kicked the extra point. They didn't get their two point conversion.

They didn't get their two point conversion. The rule in college football is then I still have to go for a two point conversion. When I pulled up the screen, it gave me the option to kick the extra point. I kicked it in one. Some may say you should probably take it up with the developers, not me.

By the rules of the video game.

Correct.

But by the rules of college football, you did a play. That doesn't count.

I did. What I did was I gave the haters a spot.

Yeah.

To do an asterisk. Yeah. They were going to do anyway, but I was going to be able, I mentally and even Max said that he was going to get in the chat and say asterisks. I wish in the moment, memes, that you had stopped me and said, hey, go for two. Anyway, we gotta get the win. You got. We had to get the win.

You should hang the banner. The championship banner that you make for yourself should just be a giant asterisk. Take it back with that.

I'm fine with that. Max, memes. You guys got a fire fest. If you don't have one, it's okay.

I do.

I, let's go.

I have a doozy.

I have one that may not. I know that how you guys are gonna spin it. Oh. And it's gonna look bad on myself.

Oh, we would never do that.

You clog another toilet.

No. I'm gonna start this by saying I love dogs. I'm gonna start this by saying I love dogs.

Okay, good that you've got that out there.

I'm gonna.

You love fucking dogs.

First and foremost, I love dogs.

Okay.

I've moved into a new apartment this week.

Yeah.

I've been talking about my struggles with that. That in itself is the biggest fire festival going on for at least another month. Moving is the worst thing in the world.

You got a long weekend.

And it's also, I have a wedding. Four out of every, four out of the next five weekends.

It's crazy how many weddings this guy's got to go to.

A million weddings. I go to sleep my first night there, or I go to sleep my first night there. I wake up, 615 in the dog's bedroom, howling. A a howling dog that gets anxiety when his owner. When his owner leaves right next door. Right next door. 615 on the dot every single day.

Have you met the dogs on.

I have met the guy. Very good guy. I've met the dog. Good dog.

What type of dog?

I think it's, it's got to be. I don't, I don't know.

Now I'm size what's the sounds like.

You didn't give the dog.

It's a medium sized dog.

Sounds like you didn't pet the dog.

It sounds like you can't describe the dog.

It's a medium sized dog.

Okay, so what does that mean?

Anything?

I don't know. It's like, not like a. Like a toy dog, but it's not like a lab.

Stella.

Yes, kind of Stella size.

Okay.

It's just. It's an issue.

Like, color is the dog.

It has woken me up at 06:00 every single day, and I'm just anxious that for the rest of my time in this apartment. Yeah, wake up at 06:00 because it's not something you can complain about. You can't, like, go to. Well, you could, but what's the solution? There's no solution. The guy leaves for work, and the end, the dog gets anxiety about the guy leaving for work. What if the guy howl, cries, I.

Got a solution for you. What if you just make such good friends with the dog that you offer the guy, hey, I'll take your dog for a walk in the morning if you'd like.

We talked about that, but then I still have to get it. Then we still get up at 06:00 a.m. wait, no.

What if he just opened your door and just left? Let the dog run it.

I just leave my door wide open?

Well, you give him a key, and then he drops his dog off with you when he leave, and the dog.

Would just come in.

What is the dog in a crate? The guy.

I have no idea.

So the. The easy option is whatever wall you share with him. Which is what? The bedroom wall?

Yes.

He should put it. He. You should get the dog a crate and put it in. In the far wall.

I think it's a studio. Oh, so it's one room, because I looked at the. You know, when you get out of an elevator, there's, like, a fire escape thing that shows all the. All the layouts. I'm pretty sure it's a studio.

So this has been every single.

Every morning since I moved in.

So then you got to just.

Well, I haven't had idea.

All right, all right, all right.

Which I think will be.

Here's an idea. Do we. Do we think the guy's a listener?

No.

Okay, great. Perfect. We got to figure out where he works. We got to get him fired. That's easy. We got to get him fired.

Good.

Yeah, because then he won't have a job, and then he'll be at home all the time. With his dog?

Or is he. Is he a single guy I met.

When I met him, he was by himself with the dog.

So it's just him in that apartment?

If I had to guess, yes.

So you almost don't move into a studio.

Yeah.

You need to get him a girlfriend.

Yeah, we got a higher. Prostitute, pretty woman. We've seen a lot of that movie.

That's not about your gear.

She probably works night round in the morning.

Prostitute, girlfriend. Or get him fired. I would actually work in conjunction.

I kind of like the idea of Max just giving the guy a key and saying, I'll look after dog in the mornings, let him into my apartment.

That doesn't say that. That doesn't help my problem. Like, the dog.

No, it's not gonna howl.

It's got. What about.

It's got separation, but it's still gonna wake me up.

No, luckily for, like, five minutes. And then the dog. And then the dog's quiet and I can go back to bed. But it's still like, waking up at 615.

Earplugs.

Yeah, that sound machine. Sound machine is. It was our first.

Okay. Sound machine. Earplugs. Also maybe, like, make a hole in between your apartments and have a dog door.

Yeah, I don't know how that would work. There's a real use. There's an easy solution that I don't want to do. I'm stubborn.

Kill the dog. Max. What the fuck?

I moved into a two bedroom. I could just, like, it's the master that has two closets and a bathroom in it. I could just go into the second. Exactly.

That's exactly.

That's exactly.

Yeah. Then.

Then I'm just, like, succumbing to the situation.

The dog.

I don't know if that was the.

Right word, but I used it then the dog would. So, Max, you're. You're a big Eagles fan. Have you thought about just wearing Mike Victor Z's all the time around him and then seeing what the guy, maybe he moves out.

This explains why you've been yawning.

It's stuff.

It's.

I just said stucks. It sucks. It stinks and sucks.

Yeah. Imagine Max, though, like, wearing sunglasses. A big, like, bright green Philadelphia Eagles Mike Victor. Is he knocking on his door and be like, hey, your dogs give me some problems in the next.

I thought about how frustrated I'm gonna be after the first, like, NFL Sunday when I get home at 330 and the dog and I just wake up two and a half hours later to this dog. Just like, when I say, howling. Like, I feel bad for the dog every, like, scream. Crying? Yeah, like, you know, the sound of, like, a. And it's. And it's loud and it doesn't stop. It's just like, oh, like, for five straight minutes, Max.

Can I put you on some game real quick?

What's that?

All right. One thing I've been doing recently, and I love. I got this.

Oh, yeah, you have told me.

Yeah, I got the. At nighttime, I got a blindfold that I put on to go to sleep that has these earphones in them. They're like Bluetooth earphones. So you can play, like, a podcast. You can play a video on YouTube. You put your phone, plug it in on the nightstand, and you can listen to it as you fall asleep. And it doesn't fall out. It doesn't hurt your ears. It's, like, very comfortable. If you have something going in your ears like that, you might not hear the dog in the morning, and when your alarm goes off, it'll play the alarm sound in your ears so you don't have to worry about missing your alarm.

Yeah, it's nice.

Or you could kill the dog.

I'm not gonna kill the dog.

You want to kill the dog?

I'm not gonna.

Did the thought cross your mind?

No.

You have, definitely. Yeah, you thought about it?

Thought about you deep, dark, dark down thoughts you've thought about.

No. No.

Hey, who's the guy who. That clip where he's like, more, more. 100? More, 500? More.

Isn't that the cab?

Michael Cohen?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And someone asked me how many plays I'm gonna add.

I thought that was the beers. Beers thing.

No. Well, I'm an automatic. Someone asked me how many. How many plays I'm gonna add on Saturday.

College chicks. Automatic.

All right, memes, you got anything? My apartment door keeps getting stuck because apparently, when it's so humid out, wood expands. That's a fact.

Yeah.

So I had to lube up my.

Door with Vaseline for, like, 30 minutes.

And still get stuck. Use Vaseline? Yeah, that's what my building manager told me. Not WD 40.

No, he said, use that.

Still get stuck.

Oh, so you can't get out? Yeah. Can't get in. Which order?

Can't get in. So it looks like I'm breaking into my apartment every single time.

I love that.

Damn. That's worse than a dog. Yeah. Max hates dogs.

Love dogs.

Shane. What's up, Shane? You see softball got canceled? They said update. They said some number I don't have said. Just. Just send us Pug and keep the other four. And I said, okay, deal. And they said, oh, shit. Wait. Pug is out of town. Back to canceled. So we're canceled. It's Tom Lay and his friends, right? That's the problem.

Yeah, yeah.

And we forfeited so many times. I think it's the biggest problem is I think it's an awkward conversation for the guy who. Because the guy asked us last week, will you be able to field a team this week? We said, yes.

Who?

Like the league manager?

But you're never playing in this league again.

I know. That's what I. That's manager.

If you're a listener, hit me up.

He'll be happy.

Yoast.

Yo, hit me up.

$100 free gift card, cellblue.com, sellcoffee.com. all right, we figured this out. All right? Numbers 3218-562-1909 looks like 90. 90. Love you guys.