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Oh, we're going to rock It's Pardon My Take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by DraftKings. Get ready for Best Ball Week at DraftKings. Download the DraftKings app. Use code take. That's code take for all customers who enter the NFL Best Ball 15 Million Millionaire Contest to get a bonus ticket only during Best Ball Week, only on DraftKings. Today is Wednesday, July third, and PFT We have Playoff P and Joel Embiid teaming up in Philadelphia. Nba free agency, not as fun as it used to be, which is by design, they changed the rules of NBA free agency. So anyone who complains like, oh, we don't have all this drama. That literally is what people were complaining about before with the super teams. But Paul George is the big ticket in the NBA free agency, and this is going to be so, so good when they flame out of the playoffs.

I don't know. I think this is what switches all around for Philly. I like this. You know what? The Sixers are all in, baby. Josh Harris is all in. That's what he does. I like the move. Paul George is a great player. Should be a good compliment to Embiid if he plays well. They got Maxi. That's their big three. So I'm happy for Max. I was very excited. The news broke at 3:30 in the morning. It actually broke at 11:30 AM over lunch overseas here. So I got to see it, and then everybody was like, I wait till everyone else wakes up about it. I just wanted Max to be awake in that moment to see how gitty he would get and how much he would just squel.

Yeah. It's funny because I actually like to move as well. The Sixers have been building up to this moment to add the third star, and Paul George is a very good player. But it is just very funny that it's Paul George because I just don't see how this is going to end in anything but tragic heartbreak for Max. It's just a perfect setting. I do think they're going to be very good. They do have one of the best big threes, if not the best big three in the NBA. But again, it's what, Hank? You want to chime in there? One of the best...

How old is this guy?

Actually, he's 34. Let me just jump in real quick because it's really a big four.

It's a big four. They got Embiid, they got Maxi, they got Paul George, and they no longer have the contract to Tobias Harris.

Yeah. Shout out to Tobias Harris. I mean, that $50 million for two years from the Pistons. Everyone learned how to dribble and shoot because being an NBA player this time of year, you just get reminded it rocks getting these contracts. All right, so, Max, how are you feeling? What would you like to say about our good friend, Connor Griffin, who said, We have to get to at least one Eastern Conference final?

That was the biggest form of loser talk that I've ever seen before in my life. You get the biggest signing of the free agency. You finally get that two-way wing player that Embiid has been looking for since Jimmy Butler. Then you're like, If we get to an Eastern Conference final, it's a success. That's bullshit. Hank, just with a no-ball-knowing take, saying that he's old and he's washed, he's coming off one of the best years of his career last year. He probably doesn't have the four-year longevity of his contract to be an elite player. But we got two years. It's a two-year window to at least make... We have to at least make a finals. Make a finals, play for- That's success.

Eastern Conference or NBA?

No, NBA Finals. Beat the Celtics. We have to beat the Celtics one of these next two years.

What if you In the play-offs? Yes. What if you get to the NBA Finals, but the Celtics, you don't beat the Celtics on the path? Is that an asterisk?

Not an asterisk. It still will feel good, but it won't feel... We You could beat the Celtics in the first round, and it could feel...

So what? You guys got the eight seed?

No, the Celtics have the eight.

We have the one. I love how in Max's wildest dream, success is making it to the NBA Finals and losing.

Yeah. No, no, no, no. That's the worst case scenario, best case scenario.

I know you said that that's the worst version of success.

Yes.

I do like to move for the Sixers. They built up for this point. They got Paul George. It's going to be a good team. I also love Paul George, especially in this day and age. I feel like Paul George knows that he's just not a number one guy. He's a really good basketball player, but he's like, I want to go try to compete. The Clippers didn't want to give me a fourth year. The Clippers are essentially not restarting, but their whole failed Kauai, Paul George, James Harden thing. They have to figure that out. And Paul George is like, Yeah, I'm not a number one guy. I'd like to go play some meaningful basketball. And let's go to Philly, where Joel Embiid and Tyrese Maxi will take a lot of the burden off my shoulders. I just got to be Paul George. I just got to be play off P.

Yeah, it is perfect. Like Paul George, a guy whose name is synonymous with playoff success, joining the 76ers. It's funny. It's very funny. It's a great superstar edition for the culture of Philadelphia. But I do think from a basketball standpoint, it's going to be fun. And also, you just mentioned James Harden, that whole experiment out there. James Harden hates the Sixers front office. And apparently, Paul George was like, Yeah, I'm not going to pay any attention to what you say. You're probably the problem, James. I've seen enough close up with my own two eyes to know that maybe I should not trust what you're saying about them.

Yes. Okay. So Paul George was the big ticket. Again, it's funny because you have seen people complain like, Oh, this NBA free agency sucks. That was the whole point that you can't create. It's harder to create super teams now, and you don't have the crazy movement every NBA free agency. Other big moves, a couple. I have a couple I want to talk about. One, Stan Cronky strikes again, KCP going to the magic, and Stan Cronky unwilling to pay luxury tax and build... When If you're going to have a time when you should pay extra money and pay taxes and just throw everything in, wouldn't it be when you have the three-time MVP in the prime of his career? But no, that's just not what the Nuggets are going to do. I feel like that was a huge... That's one of those ones that we're going to look at somewhere mid-season and be like, oh, shit, the Nuggets, they're missing a guy, and it's KCP.

It's also great for the magic. The magic showed a little flight in the playoff. I think it's a great move for them. Yeah, that's just Stan Crocky being Stan Crocky, but they might just look at the rest of their team and say, I don't know, maybe we got the guys that we don't need them necessarily. And he doesn't want to pay the taxes. The Boston Celtics Don't give a fuck about taxes.

No.

The Boston Celtics are paying everybody in their contracts. I read a stat online that says that when the current set of contracts is over, they will have paid more in luxury than the Clippers have paid in the entire existence of the franchise.

Whoa. And the Celtics, Hank, now, are you going to buy them? What's going on? Maybe if you can dunk, you'll have a little seed investment on your way to buying the Celtics. They're for sale now?

Yeah, I'm I'm becoming a group. I'm trying to raise some capital. But yeah, they're selling high, I guess. It makes sense. It's going to be probably the most expensive NBA franchise ever sold. I'm going to see what I can do.

We should... Oh, man.

You guys You want to throw down?

No, I'm just thinking about we're going to be... Listen. Come on. If you dunk, I'll give you $10,000, and that will go towards it. Hank, what?

That's my money, though, after I dunk.

Right, but you can use that towards buying the Celtics. Hank, we're going to Tahoe next week to do a bunch of interviews. I think you need to get a little elevator pitch, and every single rich athlete we talk to, at the end of the interview, you give them a quick two-minute pitch on why they should invest in Hank Lockwood, LLC, that is going to eventually buy the Celtics.

Yeah, I'm down. I know KG. Kg was super... He was involved a few years ago in a group trying to get involved with the Timberwolves and was so fucking pissed when he got passed over or whatever. So he's at the top of the list. But yeah, I'm down to make a run. We need to raise like $6 billion, I think.

I want it to be your group, though. I don't want you to join another group. I want it to be Hank's group that he brings everyone together, and then you get the sweat equity. So you don't even have to put a bunch of money in. You're the one who connected all these people.

Yeah, I'll raise 5.9999 billion, and then I'll throw down 10K.

Yeah, and then you'll dunk and you'll throw down 20. Yeah.

Talk to Dave. I'm sure Dave would be down to get involved in the Hank Lockwood enterprise.

Yeah, Dave said he's 4.9 billion short.

It's so funny how the levels to rich guy there is and owning a NBA or NFL franchise, the levels to rich guy are just so obscene and out of this world that it's not even... Hank, you could talk to a thousand people, and it would still get you not even like one 10,000th of the way there.

The networth of the entire, and it's all celebrities and rich athletes and actors and stuff. I don't think you could combine all of their networth and be like a fifth of the way there. Yeah, it's crazy. Dave's the richest guy. That's why there's a thing. Wouldn't any of us know? And he could liquidate all his assets and maybe own like one, one-thousandth of the team.

That's why banks exist, Hank. You just go to a bank and ask them for a loan to buy the Celtic, see what they say.

I've heard rumors that a casino is going to buy it and try and rebuild the stadium somewhere else, which would be the craziest move in the history of Austin.

But would it be a casino stadium?

Well, there already is a casino in the Charleston Everett area. So yeah, probably. But that would be moving it away from the garden would be bad, bad, bad, juju.

You rocked it with somebody and then moved it out of Boston.

Yeah, no, that would be bad.

Wouldn't it be awesome, though, if someone actually He made a casino stadium, so it was just like live tellers at your seat. You could play blackjack in the middle of timeouts and stuff. Isn't that the next wave?

Yeah. Sounds like a bad sports town to me. This is actually the downfall of the Celtics, though, because they're just... This His owner is just paying everyone a billion dollars, and then he's like, someone else deal with it. Someone else with big money who doesn't actually care about...

Max, you don't know.

You don't know finance, bro.

That's how this is going. You don't know finance, bro. We're in finance. We're in finance. We're in finance. We're in assets.Flurn, fucking value.

Max, they locked up their long term assets, okay? Yeah. It's also very relatable to just spend a bunch of money on future contracts and then be like, Yeah, I actually don't want to pay it. I just want to give them the... Giving them the contract is the fun part. And now we're going to sell the team, I guess.

You get all the credit. You get the handshake and be like, Yeah, I paid you that money. But yeah, Max, unfortunately for you, this take that you have right now, you're lumped in with the Darren Reveals of the world because he said the same thing. Fuck. I don't ever understand Understand that? Why wouldn't you? If you're trying to buy a team and they're like, Hey, okay, yeah, $300 million to Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown, but you literally have your two best players locked up for the next whatever, five, six years, that's the team you want to buy.

Learn value. Yeah, but there's like 20 of them. They're paying the whole team 200 million.

Derek White has... I mean, shout out to Derek White. He resigned on a fantastic deal. I think Tyrosse max, he gets paid $80 million more. He's not better. Paul George is 45. Did you see? I saw one of those fun little graphics that was Paul George's playoff numbers this year and Derek White's playoff numbers this year. Derek White cleared him by far.

That is fun. Yeah, no, that's great. That's very That's great. No, I'm excited. Get your celebration in now, Henry. I did.

I have.

Celtics are-He literally did. Yeah, no. He did. Keep riding high, buddy. I will. Things are going downhill. Okay, fine. Things are going downhill. You're doing fine.

I hope you get a championship, Hank. It's actually going to be not as good for you in a couple of years.

Yeah. I like you guys sitting next to each other. It's a good vibe. Okay, other MA free I had a question, actually, for Max.

Max, you're sitting next to Hank right now who, by the way, still looks great with his hair growing back in. It's a crime that your punishment turned into something that you can actually use.

Bald as beautiful, PFT, join me.

What if Where's the Sixers win the Championship next year with Paul George? You shave that head?

Yeah.

Yes. Okay. Nice. Okay. Nice.

What about the play in or whatever the fuck?

The play in tournament.

Midseason.

No.

Sole patch. Sole patch. No.

Five Burns only.

The other big news was Clay Thompson, done with the Warriors, which we all knew. Now on the Mavs, I'm buying Clay Thompson's stock. I feel like his ending at the Warriors was sad, but I think you're going to get a rejuvenated Clay Thompson hitting wide open threes because Luca is going to take all the pressure off him. I know Steph obviously did the same, but I'm buying Clay Thompson. I don't think this is the end of Clay Thompson. Everyone has written him off. I'm not going to write him off.

Yeah. I mean, he's still a great catch and shoot shooter. He didn't do that well at the end of the season. This year. What did he finish? 0 for 10 in his last game?

He had a bad last game. He still shot 39 % from three. I also saw this awesome thread of a Warriors fan who... I think most Warriors fans appreciate everything Klay Thompson did, even though it got weird at the end. And the guy, he tore his ACL and his Achilles at whatever it was, 33 or something. He had catastrophic injuries that definitely slowed him down. But there There was a thread that had all the highlights of Clay Thompson, and one of them was, Clay Thompson scores 60 points on 14 dribbles, and that's maybe the coolest stat I've ever seen. Yeah.

I think when we talked to Kurt Goldsbury one time, we asked him about that. He has the lowest dribble per point ratio in the NBA. He just catch and shoot, catch and shoot. He'll be in a great spot for that in Dallas. It's funny because you're starting to see a little bit of the postmortem on Clay come out. I saw a report saying that he didn't get as much of the publicity like Draymond, but he was just as messy behind the scenes, but in his Clay Thompson way. I can guarantee that Clay Thompson was not as messy as Draymond Green. Probably Draymond is telling people in the media, Actually, he's a dick, too, because he didn't like me. But people are starting to turn on clay in Bay Area. Not the team, but some of the fans are like, Yeah, maybe he was low key an issue for us.

That's poor sportsmanship, salty fan, fandom. He won four championships.

He won four championships. I actually think you could make the argument, and maybe we could do Mount Rush more of it later this summer. I think you could make the argument that the Jordan pool contract was the worst contract ever given out in all of the sports, not just because of the money given to Jordan pool, but what it did to the rest of the team, because that was Clay watching that, Draymond watching that. That feels like the point... Obviously, they won a title still after that, but... Or no, did they win the title? No, they gave it to them after they won the title, right? I don't remember the year that they gave it to them.

I don't think so. I do know it's a terrible contract.

But it screwed up the whole vibes of everything. Yeah, I think it was right around then. I think it might have been the year of or the year directly after. But that might be the worst contract of all time.

It's funny to say that he was almost as bad as Draymon. You just didn't hear about the stuff and the stuff that he did didn't make as big of a splash as Draymon. Yeah, no shit. That's because Draymon actually a tick. You don't need to lump Clay in there just because you're upset that he's leaving. He gets a tribute video. They get a tribute video of Clay.

Yes, agreed. All right, so it was 2021 was the year they won, and then he got his contract a year later, I believe. So, yeah, it screwed up everything. Okay. I had two other stories I wanted to hit real quick, PFT.

I have something quick on the Clay Thompson thing. I don't know if you guys have seen. I feel bad for him because he probably can't go on Instagram. The NBA Instagram, no matter what they post, because obviously, they posted a bunch of Celtic stuff. I see the post, click in the comments. Every single post they have, it just says people forget or But this reminds you of that Clay Thompson went 0 for 10 in the elimination game. That's every single comment on every single post is, Don't forget that Clay Thompson went 0 in 10 in the elimination game.

You know what? I'll stand in front of Clay for this. People should change that and just say, People forget Big Cat bet the over on Clay Thompson's points in that game. I'll take the bullets for Clay. I put too much pressure on him.

You know what it is? It's people just trying to relive the greatness of people forget the Golden State Warriors blue with three, one lead in the NBA Finals. You're absolutely right. That moment will come back. You're trying to make it happen again. Let it go. It was great.

You're trying to make fetch happen. All right, the other two stories I had, LeBron as I don't think there's ever been a player that has held a franchise hostage more than LeBron has a Lakers hostage right now. And it's maybe my favorite ongoing thing that he's pretending that isn't existing. And listen, the LeBron sexuals are listening right now. I'm not saying anything against LeBron, the player. He hired JJ Reddick and said that he had nothing to do with it, even though he did a four-month interview about their basketball philosophy. He's drafted Bronnie, and now he's saying He'll take less money if they can sign someone good, which I don't even know what that means because it's up to LeBron. But it's just so fucking funny because he's got this... He basically is the Lakers. The once proud Los Angeles Lakers are just the LeBron Lakers at this point.

It would rock if he just decided not to sign that contract extension and just sign somewhere else and made him draft his son. That's what I'm hoping happened. What does he mean? We need to get another good player. How many good players are out there just waiting to be signed right now?

Playoff P is gone. Kcp is gone.

Maybe his other brother, or maybe his other son.

The other son, yeah. Donovan Mitchell just signed with the Cavs, which I think the Cavs had to do that. That's like a beware, though, of how these things always work out. I mean, the Bulls are showing it when they're trying to get rid of Zack Levine and they have to send a pick with him. So, yeah, I don't know what it means, but I I love the fact that he's holding everyone hostage here. Hank, what was that face?

I ordered food in my fucking apartment.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

I'm so hungry, too. All right, whatever.

I do that twice a week.

I do it all the time. I did it. After we came back from beer games, I ordered three orders to the hotel we were staying at Nashville. I was like, Why the fuck is this not getting delivered? They're scamming me. And then I realized I just kept on smashing reorder to the hotel we stayed at for one night. Yeah. So that was fun.

Max, remember when you ordered all that taco Bell to your girlfriend's place?

Yeah, that was a good guy move by me.

That was a good guy move. The last story I had was, Hank, would you like to... We touched on it very briefly before we went to break, but the Kyle Filipowski story is crazy. Would you like to talk about this at all, Hank, as a noted Duke fan? I don't I don't even understand how Duke was able to keep this under wraps the way they did for the last two years. It's nuts.

What does Duke have to do with it? What do you mean? It's a Kyle Filipowski problem.

He got groomed.

My question is, what is Duke supposed to do about that? You're supposed to meddle in the lives of your players? People have all types of crazy family shit going on in every team. And do you think he told them?

Do you think they researched? Yes, I think they knew everything. I think they researched.I think they knew everything.How? Because it's pretty clear that she's there 100% of the time.

She was in the office?

Kyle Filpowski was in the office working out, and she was there. I obviously didn't know the story.

That was a crazy revelation.

I would have literally taken out a whistle and been like, teed them both up and said, Hey, Duke, do something. I'm proud Duke.

I think it's more of the family was telling Duke about this because the family was trying to get everyone to stop this, and they were telling everyone.

What is Duke supposed to do, though? Rittle me that.

Stop letting grooming happen, Hank. How? Just say, Stop.

And what if he says, I love her, which is obviously what he's saying.

No, you don't.

Stop it. Then you say, You don't love her. You've been brainwashed right now. Yeah. You don't know what love is.

Yeah. Hey, stop it right now.

I do think the Internet as a whole shares some blame in this because the Internet, you have to know this before draft day. You have to be on this. The Instagram posts, they were public, they've been up, but it took the Internet four years too long, three years too long to figure this out and put it out there for us to see. I don't like that part of it. That shows that between that and the Clay Thompson thing, we're slacking online right now. I'd like to see us step it back up.

Well, I agree, PFT. It also could have easily been John Shier just saying, Stop it right now. And he never did that. His parents clearly did that.

He clearly wasn't going to listen.

Hank, they clearly didn't say it strong enough. They cared more about getting points and rebounds out of the guy than his own mental well-being. The brotherhood means nothing. The brotherhood is essentially the brotherhood until you get groomed as a high schooler and then get snatched up and then have your girlfriend ex-communic communicate your family. Then guess what? The brotherhood doesn't count. I thought the brotherhood counted for something.

In my day, we used to say Bros before hos, and it looks like that day's over.

Yeah, but if you're not a Duke.

Everyone knows a guy that's caught up in a relationship that everyone else knows that they shouldn't be in, but they don't want to listen.

When you're 17 and she's 26, Hank?

I mean, obviously, it's Muddy Waters, but it's like-Is it?

Is it Where is it?

It's crystal clear. It's fucked up by the girl. It's glooming, and it's not okay by what the girl did. But when you're 17, hooking up with an older girl is cool. Fact or fiction?

Hank, now you're muddy in those waters right now.

No, I'm just saying You're getting money.

No, I'm saying it's wrong by her, but from his perspective, it's like, yeah, obviously, he didn't realize he was being groomed. But again, it's like when teachers hook up with students, that's fucked up.

No, I'm saying I'm saying that is fucked up.

But when you're a kid, you guys don't want to hook up with any of your teachers when you're a kid. You guys weren't like, Oh, my God, it'd be so cool.

When our brains weren't developed. That's what I'm saying.

His brain wasn't developed. I'm not. I'm saying everything that she did is wrong, groomer. But again, whatever.

It is what it is. Downfall of Hank starting now.

Downfall of Hank, and Max got it right.

All right, I'm done. Whatever. Cancel me.

Well, Hank, I don't think you'd have any idea what it's like to hook up with a girl who's nine years older than him.

No, exactly.

Hank, this is bad. The brotherhood is in a bad spot. No, it's not. Shut up. They didn't stop it, man. They were at the office, and You didn't do shit, Big Cat. If I had known, I would have taken him up. I already said that.

So John Sier didn't know either?

Yes, he did. How do you know that? Because his family was asking him for help. The girlfriend was everywhere.

His family DM me and said they DMed you and you didn't do shit about it.

No, they didn't. They never DM me. If they had DM me, I would have whistleblowed faster than you could. You think me? Me? If I had a chance to take down Duke?

They were in this office and you did nothing.

I wish I had known.

Really, really sad. It's It's really sad that this unfortunate story is taking away from what should be the headline for Calvary. Which is the remarkable recovery that he made from his leg injury after they stormed the fort against him. That's what we should be celebrating modern medicine instead of having having to go to catchapredator. Com to look at pictures of his girlfriend.

Hank, it's just really sad. The Brotherhood has let everyone down. I just want any future Duke guys to know that if you go there, listen, all they care about is your points and rebounds. They don't care about the human being. Fact.

Yeah, we'll cut this. We'll cut this.

Okay, let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne. It's brought to you by our friends at game time. Did you know that you can get tickets to Cubs, Cribs this week. Max, how much does it get in price?

They only playing one game, though, right?

Tonight, $44.

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And I'm like, What does that mean? So go to game time. Game time has great seats. Hot seat, cool thrown. Hank?

Yeah, I wasn't going to do this, but it is fresh on my mind after that read. Max, hot seat. Just ditching our playoff softball game for Cubs game tonight. We're already 10 men down. We're scratching and claw for everyone we have. A lot of people are out of town. Fourth of July plans, it happens. But Max being in the city, it hurts. It hurts. It just hurts. It's his heart.My hot seat is Max's heart.Routine.

Guy like Max.

Hank, isn't Max the best player on your team?

No, but we need him.

You guys are bad sports down. You don't understand, Hank, as a Celtics fan, as a Boston fan, when your team is traveling to Chicago. How many games are you going to? How many games are you going to? I'm going to go to all of them. What? I'm not-All three? Yeah, the team is in town. I asked Big Cat for the tickets weeks ago. I was planning on not being here this week, so this was going to be, I'll go Tuesday and then leave Wednesday. I already asked Big Cat for the tickets. It would be rude to not take the tickets.

No, you can send them back.

He just said there's a million people that would love to take them.

You can send them back and go to the game.

It would be rude to not take the tickets.

I'm telling you right now, it's not rude.

Big Cat so graciously gifted them to me. All right? He's just putting on right now. I know that he really wants me to go. So I'm sorry. I love my sports teams. Not our sports teams. I love my sports teams.

I love my sports teams. He hates us.

He does hate dogs. He hates the pugs. That's a fact. He hates the pugs.

It's interesting. Yes.

So is this team... Who are you guys playing tonight? Do you have a tough game?

Yeah.

No, we beat this team 24 to 2 last time we played them.

Oh, you're fine. You're fine, Hank.

I hope so. Why are you going to all the games? Why can't you miss just one game?

Because I love the fills. Sorry, I love the fills. I saw them last night. It was super embarrassing.

Wait. Oh, yeah. What happened there?

I just saw them on the river walk, and I got excited. I started clapping. I was like, Let's go, fills, boys. Then I took five steps back, and I was like, Why did I do that? That was so stupid.

Why didn't you say... You should have just said, I have a podcast.

No, that's way worse. No, it's not.

It's way worse. Come on. I do that all the time. You just walk down the street screaming at everybody, I have a podcast.

Ask me Ask me about my podcast. Okay, your cool thrown, Hank?

My cool thrown is the Hawk, too, a girl.

Oh, I had that as well.

She was in Nashville. She sang Revival on stage with Zack Brian, and she did an interview with Bri, our coworker, backstage that has a million views, I think, in one day on YouTube.

Yeah. On YouTube. Also led us to one of the funniest exchanges on Twitter. Laura Lumer, who you're going to have to help me, PFT. What is she?

I don't know. I don't know what she is. She's on Twitter. She's a user.

Okay. All right. All right. Oh, yeah. She's investigative journalism. She said, watch the degenerate Hawk to a girl whose real name is Haley Welsh is anti-Trump. In her first interview since going viral, she was asked about Donald Trump. She said, It's a no for me. Stop giving skanks attention. The girl was made famous for talking about spitting on a penis during oral sex. She is not to be taken seriously. No self-respecting woman goes around talking about spitting on penises. She clearly is a moron and behaves like white trash. Typical Biden supporter, next. And then Bill Ackman replied, Laura, you got this one wrong. That was not the question. She was asked, and I don't think you can determine her politics from the clip. You might want to review it again. And Laura Lumer responded, I stand corrected. Upon further review, it turns out that she was only talking about whether she would perform fellatio on President Trump. Her plans for election day remain unclear.

Yeah, so we'll see. We're going to wait for all the facts to come out before determining whether or not she's good. She has, I guarantee you.

The segment from Bre, we should maybe incorporate that into this show.

Over the last week. Just because every girl wants to be like, Well, I saw the video. I got to try the Hawk tua.

Yeah. It was like, is it Hawk tua or no. That was the segment.

That's great.

Would you blow this person or not?

It's a no for me, for President Trump. Then people were like, This is crazy. She She's a liberal. Oh, man. Actually, it's very classy of her to be like, No, I wouldn't Hawk tua the President. That's a nice thing to do.

Yeah, he's a married man. He's in the office.

That's also a lid move, right? That's what the Dems do.

Yeah. All right. Hauk tua?

Hauk tua the President.

I don't know if there's- Yeah, I guess Monica Lewinsky.

Yeah. Is Hauktu, Nancy Reagan- The only proof of Hauktu in the President- Nancy Reagan was a great Hauktu. Yeah. That's a big question that the international debate. Is Hacktua a Lib or a Republican move? It's Woke. Yeah. Okay. Pft, your Hot Seat Cool Throne.

My hot seat is Greg Berhalter, coach of the US Men's National Team. We put him on the hot seat, it feels like months ago, it feels like years ago. It feels like two years ago he was on the hot seat. But the USA, they lost to Uruguay, won nothing. They're out of the Copa America. They were the host country. What's the opposite of the group of death? Whatever that is, that's what we were in. We stuck. We stuck. Our players didn't play that well, but our coaching stuck, and so now he's got to be fired. We got to fire Greg. Wasn't it of time. If we're not going to fire him now, just might as well give up on the World Cup.

I have a question for you, PFT. Now, I agree that Greg Berhalter should be fired, and I don't really have any basis besides everyone else is saying it. So I'm like, fine, fuck it. If there's a picket If we're all grabbing our pitchforks for a coach, I'm in. Is there a chance we just suck at soccer?

We shouldn't, though. Yes, right now we do suck. Yes, at this moment, we suck at soccer. But our players are good. They play on the best teams in the world.

Okay, but I was watching that whole game last night, and- You stuck. We had to win, and we basically just didn't try to score. We looked like shit. Again, this could be Berhalter. But then I was looking it up today. Essentially, US men's soccer team has told everyone this is a golden generation because we can beat Mexico. We don't beat anyone else. We just beat Mexico, and Mexico stinks now.

So that's the bar. It's been the bar for US soccer for a long time. It's like, if you can dominate your rival, then it's all good. If you can beat them and important games, then it feels like you've got a good team, which is a decent thing to have as your mark of whether or not your team's good, if Mexico is good. If Mexico is good, but Mexico hasn't been good. Beating them, it's not the same as he used to be. So, yeah, he's been skating by basically on having teams that only... They made it out of the World Cup group, which was nice, I guess. You had to do that. We did win that zero-zero draw against England, which was huge for us. And then we won the one-one draw against Brazil, which is also massive. But besides those two wins that were actually draws, Greg hasn't done shit except beat Mexico. That's the only thing that he does. It's nice to beat your rival.

But the players, too, have to take some onus, no? Justin Moran tweeted out that in the last five years, if you take out our wins against Mexico, the best win that the USmen's national team has is over Iran, one-nothing.

Yeah.

We We don't score goals. We also just don't score goals. It's also just a terrible product to watch. We don't score goals, and we don't even create chances to score goals.

Yeah, we're not aggressive enough. We put in an extra defender when we lost a guy to a red card because we're just trying to get a tie. We love playing for ties, and it's bullshit, and it sucks. It takes the fun out of watching sports when the team that you cheer for doesn't even try to score. And in the game last night, did you see what Greg Greg did. He was watching the score of the Bolivia-Panama game and telling the guys on the field like, Hey, their score is 1-1 right now. We're okay. Play for a draw. It's loser talk. That's loser mentality. Greg needs to be out. I don't know who we can get. I've heard people say Klopp.

He's good. We'd have to pay him a ton of money.

Good. Pay him all the money. Also, I thought about maybe getting that German coach. Remember the one that used to take his hand down his pants and smell it on the sidelines? Remember that, dude?

Yeah.

He was cool. The German coach, the one who eat his own booger on the sidelines. I'll take him. I'll take the booger-eater.

I don't know. I'm starting to think that as bad as Berhalter is, again, everyone has told me he's terrible, so I'll agree with everyone on this because I don't know enough about soccer. At some point, it's also the players, no?

Yeah, they haven't played well as a team at all. But that's the thing. They are good players who play on good teams overseas.

But are they?

If they were good, we would win.

Yeah. If they were good, we'd beat Panama.

No, you can have a good team. You can have a team of good players that suck playing as a team. It's possible. So then they- So then they-Casey point, Greg.

But I don't know how good are the players. I feel like everyone just tells us that this is the best players that we've ever had. And yet, if you look at it, it's like 20 years ago or 30 years ago, we accomplished way more.

So the players that we have right now are playing at a higher level internationally than we've ever had before in this country. And that's why you can't really debate that because it's just a fact. But the team, the US team, they suck ass. They stink. They're bad. And they're taking responsibility.

Yeah. I'm more just I want Burr Halter out, but maybe we stink at soccer. Story developing.

We do, right? Yeah. Right now, we do stink at soccer, but we have good players. And that's what makes it so frustrating. It's like the World Cup in two years should be awesome. It should be so much fun for US fans and bandwagon fans. That's the best time to join the bandwagon is at the World Cup and just blindly support your country. But it's going to suck if we have a team that's good on paper and can't do shit. This was the easiest draw for us. We still couldn't do anything with it.

Yeah. I keep getting stuck on the on paper, and then as a team, they just never have done anything.

Well, yeah, they're a young team. They've only played for five years.

In the history of this show, have we done anything?

We win these random ass fucking Mexican cups in the summer.

Yeah, we beat Mexico. That's what we do. Oh, yeah.

We won the gold cup.

We beat Mexico. That's it. We just beat Mexico.

We beat Mexico consistently, and we beat teams by tying them. That's what this iteration of the team has done. They're good players, but they suck right now. The team sucks. You can't sugarcoat that. Us soccer sucks right now.

Okay. Your cool throne?

My cool throne is just dad's asking if those are gunshots or fireworks.

I like dad.

Big week for that. Yeah. Huge week for that. You're going to hear a lot of pops, and you're going to get a lot of dad's being like, Was that gunshots? No, it's fireworks. It's the fourth of July.

Yeah, that is a little fun wrinkle that we have coming up. All right. My hot seat is something that we have all forgotten, but it's going to happen on Thursday. America is on the hot seat because it just dawned on me again that Joey Chesa is not competing. That fucking sucks.

Yeah. And it's not going to hit the same. I know he's doing the competition against scobiashi, but I need that on the fourth.

I think he's doing one on the fourth against some troops. I'm going to wake up on the fourth, and I just want to give everyone a pre-warning because the big news happened, what, three weeks ago? And now we're right on the cusp of the fourth of July, one of the best holidays we have. And one of the things that makes it the best holidays is just not going to be there. I think we all just need to be ready for it because it's going to suck beyond belief.

Yeah, that would be awesome if the Hawk we real competed in the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest.

Yeah.

That would add a fun little wrinkle to it. Or just spit on the hot dogs before you eat them. See if it works then.

Yeah. Okay. My cool thrown is... I have two. Real quick, I just want to say it's early, but I actually think the Bulls and the Blackhawks are both doing good things because they're actually coming to grips with the fact that they're not competing for championships and making the correct moves. The Blackhawks signed a bunch of guys on a one-year deal to try to get competitive and then not lock anyone up for a long term, build around the young core. And the Bulls are trying to get rid of Zack Levine, not going to resign DeMar DeRosen, who I love. But maybe there's actually some hope. This will all probably blow up in my face because It's still Jerry Reindsdorff who is going to be like, Hey, I want to win 40 games and get to the play, and let's figure out a way. They fucked up so bad. Andre Drummond went to the Sixers. They could have traded him for picks at the deadline. Ruso, same thing. Both guys gone from the team. And then my other cool thrown is, did you guys see this guy on Power Slap? I think his name is Butterball. Is that his name?

Butterball? He's this little Short guy who just finally came over to America, and he just kicks the shit out of guys in Power Slap. I don't know. Power Slap, it's a weird sport, but I think this guy has the it factor.

Yeah. So Power Slap, to my knowledge, it only exists as clips that we watch online. I've never seen a stream of Power Slap. I can't imagine going to a Power Slap event sober. That to me, seems like that would be just a crazy thing to do. It's like going to dark sober. But I like the clips. The clips are fun.

Yeah, the clips are very, very fun. What is this guy's name? Oh, no, Dumpling. His name's Dumpling. Siberian farmer named Dumpling. I don't know why I said butter. I was thinking butterbean. I guess because he's shorter, he's got an advantage. So, PFT, this might be your sport because I guess when you're going up on someone, it's easier to concuss them than when you're slapping down on someone.

So if If somebody's slapping down on me, it's easier for me to absorb that blow?

Correct.

And Dumpling- I've never been knocked out.

Yeah. Dumpling is able to slap up and just fucking knock dudes out.

I might have a good shot.

Pretty awesome. Okay.

Maybe we do that live stream. Power Slap, the two guys that finish in last place in Mount Rushmore.

I don't hate that. We're going to bring Mount Rushmore back on Monday. Like I said, we're on vacation this week. Thank you, everyone who tuned in on Monday for Dungeons & Dragons. We love doing those shows, do them a couple of times a year. But yeah, this is our one vacation week of the year. So there's no show Friday. We're back on Monday in studio with Joe Burrow and Mount Rushmore. Let's, though, kick it to ourselves. We have Gunner Henderson and our Dinger's Only draft, which, listen, if you're a Seamhead, prepare to get triggered because, yeah, we will trigger some people, but we know ball now, and the league is going to officially start on July fourth. That's when the home runs start counting.

And the Dinger's Only League was meant to make us to force us to start watching ball in these early days of the season. And you know what? It was better than last time. It was a better draft than last year's.

It was. And we had Jerry and Brennan.

Jerry is a huge piece of shit. Jerry is a huge piece of shit for all Philly's fans out there. Jerry is a huge piece of shit.

Oh, okay. Well, let's kick it to ourselves. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. So we're about to draft our Dinger's Only League, and we thought, why not have one of the best home run hitters in all of baseball on the show It is Baltimore Orials Shortstop. Phenam, my personal pick for MVP, best friends with Stephen Che, Gunner Henderson. Gunner, thank you for joining us. Let's start here. We're going to draft these teams for the Dinger's Only League, do you want to make your pitch to everyone who's going to be drafting on why you should be a high draft pick in a league that only counts home runs? Yeah.

I'm at the ballpark every day. I'm trying to put in the work. I put on for the Dinger League. I've heard that it's a very prestigious league, so honored to be considered part of it. Just trying to do my part to help whoever gets me picked. So just know you're getting 110% effort.

I like that. Humility is important for me when I'm selecting my team. Another thing that's very important for me personally is each person's walk-up song when they come up to play. I want to know that my guy is stepping up there with the blood pumping, heart rate going, preferably a good, nice, clean rock and roll song, old school. So I need to know what's your walk-up song?

Yeah, I did have a rock and roll song. It was Kickstar My Heart last year, but I've transitioned into the Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani, and it gets the crowd going. You get to hear them cheering on. I do enjoy my rock and roll, but this one seems to get the crowd involved.

I like that one. Gwen Stefani, you can never go wrong with her. How about this, Gunner? Let's say situational baseball. It's late in the game, and you got first and second, and you may be doing a hit and run, and that's called in, and you got You're just trying to get some contact, get the guys moving over. Will you in the back of your head be like, But Big Cat drafted me in Dinger's only, and we need a long ball here? What commitment are you going to give, pitch me to draft you?

I mean, the hit and run is all you got to do is put the bat on the ball, but it didn't say that it had to be not in the air. So that's my take.

Okay. Now, what It's about if it's a three and no count and you got the green light, and a pitch comes in. Let's say the pitcher Grooves a fastball, but it's up in the zone. It's looking like it might be ball four, but you know that you can hit the shit out of it. Are you still going to take a cut?

If I got the green light, I'm going to let something rip at it.

Okay. All right. I appreciate that. How much do you hate getting walked?

Yeah, I've seen the videos where people think that I really hate walking, but I actually really enjoy walking. So So I know that doesn't suit the Dinger's Only League, but I do enjoy walking a little to help the guy behind me get some RBIs.

You're lying because we have seen the videos and you throw your bat in disgust and you're upset that you're walking. I like that. You're up there to hit. I know that it's good. A walk is good as a hit. That's what they say. But you want to hit, right?

Yeah. I mean, going up there, I wanted to do some damage. But yeah, I guess it gets walked are just as good as hits. Obviously, I guess your one-one position is to get a hit, but if they don't throw your strike, then don't strike out and chase stuff.

Yeah, I think in theory, you understand that walks are good, but as it's happening to you, you're like, I really wish I could have hit a tater.

Yeah. Obviously, like I said, a hit is obviously the one-one scenario, but I guess walks come with the game as well.

What's the farthest home run that you've ever hit?

I think it was last year, the one on Utah. I made it to Utah Street as my first one ever. I think it was 462 is what they said.

It's pretty good. Yeah. Very good.

What's your favorite home run you've ever hit?

Favorite one. So I have one Later in the game against the Rockies last year, left on left, I think it put us up by one in the bottom of the eighth, like two outs, I want to say. So that one's up there. And then my first career grand slam was that one's up there, too.

Okay. Wait, wrong answer. It was the next one. Your next one is your favorite home run. And you keep saying the next one and the next one. Wait, how many multi-home run games do you have in your career? Do you have any?

Yeah, I have one in Houston. And then I know I have one in New York last year. And then after this Dinger League draft, hopefully a couple more.

Yeah, good answer. I like that a lot. This feels good. We should interview every player draft.

Have you ever hit the warehouse in batting practice?

No, I have not made it that far yet. Still getting there.

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

I'm 100% more of a dog person.

All right, good answer.

How do you feel about the name Gunner? Do you like it? I feel like Gunner is a good Dinger name.

Yeah, I feel like that would be out there in the Dinger League draft of names. I'm hoping that'll put me over the top if you have any split decisions.

What about other guys on your team? Because the Dinger Only League, how it works is we have to have one guy from every position. Pitch us on someone else that you think might have a hot second half because the Dinger's Only League, we started in July, so the first half of the season doesn't count. So it's just every Dinger after July fourth. Who do you think is going to be having a big second half?

Okay, so I got one for you. Our first basement, Ryan Mountcastle.

He's- No, he got dizzy last year. I had him on my team. He couldn't stop getting dizzy.

Oh, no. He seems to be over the vertigo. But yeah, he does hit a lot of homers. So he's been saving him. This is what he told me. He's been saving him for the second half. I got him having a big second half.

Okay. He got over the vertigo. Yeah, I just remember getting updates every couple of days. Ryan Mountcastle still dizzy. I was just like, God damn it.

I drafted this guy. Ryan Mountcastle, probably no longer dizzy. Yeah.

All right. But I might give him another shot. That's good What about Colton? Should we take a look? Late round pick?

Yeah. Go with what your heart tells you. He's a streaky home run hitter, so he's going to give you at least a good... I would say he gets pretty close to 20, 25 homers this year, so it's going to have a big second half.

Okay.

I have a question about your actual owner. Have you seen his copy of the Magna Carta that he owns?

I have not.

Did you know that he owned the Magna Carta?

I did not. That is news to me. That's pretty sick.

That's the most baller thing you can do. It's like, I own the law.

That is freaking sweet.

Yeah. Would you have any problems playing for an owner that didn't own the Magna Carta?

I wouldn't say I have a problem with them not having it, but it is pretty baller status to have it.

Okay, because I don't have it yet. Can we expect a full- When you get it, then we'll talk. Can we expect full injury reports from you if we draft you to be on our team?

Yeah. I mean, all inclusiveness here.

Oh, I love that. All right, so Gunner, we have Ebo here who's a diehard Orials fan. He was not in the office when you came in the office. He's basically been sad since. So I said, Come in here. You get a question for Gunner. So Ebo, take it away. What's up, Gunner?

I just want to say, first off, you're the man.Nice.

Question.yeah.

You're the man. I've been following you since you were in Norfolk, and I've heard from some people in Norfolk that you were the best basketball player in Major League Base. You were an unbelievable basketball player, Alabama State player of the Year. Could you have gone D1? And if you had gone D1, where would you have played Division One basketball?

Good question.

I would like to thank just my competitive nature that I could have gone and played D1 basketball. If I put as much time and effort as I did into basketball, into basketball, I felt like I had a really good chance of doing that. Being an Auburn fan, I would love to go to the Auburn Tiger's and play basketball there. Okay.

Bruce Pearl getting all sweat. You got any other questions for him?

Can you win MVP this year? Can we win a World Series?

Yeah, World Series first, and then maybe the MVP will come with it. Good answer.

We also have Steven Chey in here. Has Steven bothered you at all? Because he has your number. Has he been okay with that?

What's up, buddy? No. I think the last text we had was when Tommy Smokes got on to me, and then Che had my back. Yeah.

I hit him in the balls for you. Yeah. I did. I smacked him so hard.

He texted me in distance, sir.

Yeah, because that was bullshit. Tommy Smokes said he wanted Gunner writhing in pain after Aaron Judge got hit.

It's disgusting. Disgusting. We don't root for injuries. No.

And we root for Gunner.

Yeah.

Okay, I have one last question. I know you got a meeting Roback question, rohoback. Com, promo code take 20% off your first purchase, Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback. Com, promo code take 20% off. What's a meeting for a baseball player?

This one is our hitter's advance. We're about to go over the pitcher, what his arsenal is, what he tries to throw, and how it stacks up against the lefties versus righties and stuff, and get our mind ready for the game.

That's interesting. Yeah, I would have no idea either what a meeting would be. How long do you watch film in that, or is it just like, here are the numbers?

Yeah, so we'll watch how the pitches are moving, and then we'll watch them, how other hitters have had success off of him. And then, yeah, it only lasts probably 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes.

Okay. All right. Perfect. Because I was going to say, when we start the draft, whoever draughts you, I'll have Steven Chey give you a call so that person can invite you to the team officially.

Okay. Within the next 30 to 45 minutes, it might be a BP, but I'll make sure to return the call.

Yeah. Text when you're out of BP. We'll wait, and then we'll have the person invite you to the team to make it official. Sure.

Okay. You made a compelling case. I've moved you up a couple of spots on my big board. No red flags, right? No red flags.

No red flags on this end.

Well, just one red flag. You somehow like Steven Che. That's a red flag. That's a huge red flag.

I do like Che, but at the same time, I came in last on the gauntlet because of the sporcle. So then I was forced my number.

That's good, though. I want my hitters dumb. I I don't want you overthinking anything.

Was it Vowels that tripped you up? You didn't know what a Vowel was?

No, it was a lot of '80s Mafia movies. I didn't really have one specific topic that I could just reel off like Five or six answers to get me going.

Yeah, but that's good. Yeah, it's sea-ball, hip-ball.

That's Guner Henderson. Yeah, that's it. Let's keep this simple.

All right, Guner, thank you so much. We'll let you know in a little bit who has you on your team.

Perfect. Thank you guys for having me on.

Guner Henderson was brought to you by Nascar.

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Okay, welcome in. It is time. It is the 2024 Dinger's Only League. We are ready to draft. We are ready to learn about baseball. Just as a reminder for everyone, we do this when July fourth happens. That's when baseball season starts for us. We are going to draft one player from each position, including DH, and the only statistic is Dinger's.

Dinger's.

It's the easiest- Boms. Fantasy league to follow. The start date will be July fourth, our nation's Independence Day. And this year, we have very special guests. We have Brandon Walker and Jersey Jerry. Let's go. Do this. Competing in the Dinger's Only League. We also have Stephen Chey as the Commissioner, nerd on staff. He's already asked me questions.

Boys, how are we feeling? I'm feeling great. I'm feeling slightly perturbed, disturbed.

You say why?

Upset because Hank stole my prep sheet before we got started here. He's also stealing my look wearing the sunglasses, which I will note are not sponsored glasses. Oh, no. They're from a brand, which is interesting. I'm wearing my shiny rays.

That's a dirty move.

They haven't even shown me.

The sunglasses. Oh, you took them off?

I like Hank in the sunglasses.

No, no. No. No. No. No. I owned it for everybody.

Brandon, is this your first time on part of my take?

This is my first time ever on part of my take.

Welcome to the show, Brandon.

Thank you. That's cute. I get to watch every fall when you have just lesser college football guys on your fucking show all the time. Now I'm here.

Who would be the lesser?

Oh, you know.

No, I don't.

Fuck you, Fournelly. Oh, no.

Fournelly can run circles around you.

No, fuck Fournelly. Fuck Fournelly.

I'm here to say that. We can kick you out of this league right now.

What do you think about that, Hank? Fuck Fournelly.

Are we taping this early enough that we could AI Tom's voice over everything Tom Brandon opens his mouth? That doesn't seem right.

I just got the invite.

You know what? I like Fournelly's chances this year for being the number one college football personality. He had a really, really strong year last year. No chance.

Yeah. Can't go back I trust him. Jerry, how are you feeling? Good. Punishment is- The same as last year.

Against the same team?

I would assume the same team unless Northwestern can get us. We'll say. But we're open to doing a UIC again because they were so great to us.

I would like to have somebody, whoever loses, they should have to step up to the plate and bat a little bit next year, too. Yeah.

Well, I think we'll do. I think the punishment will be the same, that it's the loser of this league will have to get six outs against a college baseball team. I also think that they're going to have to get an additional three outs against the rest of this league. I think that's fair. That's cool. So nine outs? Yeah, nine outs. This is a rip ass. No, it's the chair.

So six against the college team and then a one evening against all of us.

Yes.

What about Dan? What about one hit against their team, the college team? You have to stand in the box? One hit. Second place. Deal. Second place has to stand in the box against one of their pitchers.

I like that. I'm gunning for second place.

Second place. Oh, you're going to take them yard?

I mean, that sounds like a reward. Well, second place should be a reward.

Yeah, second place sounds fun to me. It really does.

Second place gets a chance to bat against their best pitcher.

I also think Max should not be allowed to play center field. He's too good.

He is pretty good.

No, that was fun. You were chasing down as well as last time.

That was fun. That was fun. Then fifth place has to catch. Yeah. Deal. Fifth place has to catch.

Didn't you just volunteer to catch last time, though?

Well, we thought it would be better for the video, but we have six of the most electric personalities in sports entertainment here.

Certainly.

The fine-signing-Brandon Walker.

It's wonderful. I should have known.

I was counting Steven Shay.

That was a I make a mistake on my part. Guard was down early. Bucs legend.

Didn't let me finish. Nope. Okay. So rules, very simple. Like I said, Dinger's only. You have to have one position, every single player, including DH. So you're going to get 10 guys on your team. Or no, nine guys on your team. I'm an idiot because pitchers don't hit anymore. There also are a couple of other rules we should say right now. During the course of the season, you get one singular killer, add, drop for injury or pedophilia. Pedophilia rule was because I had Wanda Franco on my team last year, and I dropped him, alleged. So you get one. So if you have two guys go out for the year injured, you make, you can't replace both of them. Yeah, Jim.

Does sexual assault fall under pedophilia, or are you just out of luck if that happens?

I think we'll go case by case basis.

Also, you don't have to drop them for pedophilia. Big Cat decided to do it last year to make a statement. If you don't feel like I don't know if you're on that side of the fence. That's your call.

I let the record show I dropped him before the raise did. You took the high ground. I acted quick, swiftly.

Big Cat sent him right back to the minors. Yep. That's a bad choice.

Okay, so And the beauty of this league is you don't have to update your roster. You just literally draft it, and then it just goes. So it's nice. There's no maintenance. What did we say about the injuries? It has to be a season ending?

Season ending, you're allowed to replace them. Yeah.

And then only one guy, though.

Yeah, just one guy. Yeah.

And so if you're injured for 15 days-No, it doesn't matter. You could use your replacement there, couldn't you?

No. No.

But if you replace them, the first guy is gone, right?

Season-ending surgery or season-ending surgery, then you replace them.

But wouldn't it make sense if you did... If you did 15-day DL, you can take the risk, but then you don't get them back.

I think that has to factor into your calculus on who you draft is you don't want a guy that's made out of glass. If Joel Embiid was in this draft, I would not take it.

We're not talking about basketball.

True. I'm not-Max, I wasn't even-You were talking about basketball. That was not about you, though. I was talking about-It was barely basketball. I was using an example in baseball. Yeah.

He actually wasn't talking He's not even talking about basketball. He happens to be a basketball player. He was just saying he's made of glass.

He's a human being.

First, you probably don't see it that way, do you? Are you playing a game on your phone?

No, I'm trying to... I'm worried about the whole list thing. So I'm trying to figure out an efficient way that I can be organized.

Where are your fingernails painted, Max?

We can talk about that later.

Okay. So, Steven, if anyone draughts a duplicate player or a player who's already out for the year, or a duplicate position, their pick automatically goes to the end of that round.

Okay.

Brandon.

But is the DH just somebody at a duplicate position, or does he have to play the position of DH? That was my question.

I think that should be any position. It should be any position.

So I could draft two first basemen, right?

It's a flex for all- No, it has to be a DH. It has to be a majority.

Yeah, I think it has to be a DH.

Yeah, he could play a couple... Some DHs play a couple of days in the field a week, but their majority position has to be DH.

Okay. Got to find out who plays DH.

This is going exactly how it went last year, which is great.

I did assume you guys had everything I'll figure it out when I got here. No, not at all.

Never.

Not at all. My bad. No, no, no.

I just wanted to be a little bit better than last year, which is not a very high bar to clear at all.

Last year was a debacle. We basically did this entire league just so that we could learn some names of baseball players.

Did it work?

Yeah.

Also, what we did afterwards, there's a way to set up alerts on your phone so that when your guy hits a home run, you get a notification. I don't know how to turn that off, so I'm just going to be getting notifications from guys that were on my team from last year.

Yeah. We never- You never drafted your same team.

You never- You never lost. Yeah, I came in last place. But that's only because I got fucked by Jordan Alvarez. We had a great second half of the season.

We had the dumbest rule last year where we had hit by pitch is 10 and that screwed up everything because who ended up winning? Max, did you win? Shane. Shane won. I think he had a guy get hit by a pitch like eight days in a row.

Oh, wait, no. I did end up winning because my guy led the league and hit by pitch. It was unbelievable.

It just completely ruined the idea of Dinger's only. Okay, so now we have to figure out draft order.

Is there a pitcher-tyebreaker this year or no?

Oh, yes. There is.

Good point. Most strikeouts?

Yes. So after we have finished drafting every position, we will then draft pitchers, one pitcher each that is solely for tie breakers, and there'll be total strikeouts. Got it. And that strikeouts also includes what's already been done. So you could just pick whoever- That's the most strikeouts.right now.

Okay.

Yeah. And the only thing that matters is standings at the end of the season. Correct. Okay.

Correct. Cool. Okay. How should we do the draft order? We have a wheel, right? Do we have a wheel? Can they do the wheel? The wheel exists on this show? I don't know. We've never had a wheel.

Where's your ball machine?

Number generator.

We could do a number generator.

We could do-We could do the Chicago dog walk draft style. I think of a number and you guys all guess it.

I like that.

Or we could do We could do Cheperty.

You can do that if you want. What's that?

It's the worst game ever.

Well, yeah, let's do that.

Okay.

Is it celebrity or actual Cheperty?

We do celebrity.

Guys, this could be ours. It might take a long time.

Okay, so-Yeah, let's do it. Steven's going to think of a celebrity.

But wait, Dan, that only provides one winner.

I think the winner should then just decide whether it goes left or right. Yeah.

That way it doesn't jump around the room.

It's just a big circle. Yeah. So we'll just get one winner. The winner can decide their own draft.

How long is it going to take?

Not that long. I don't know any celebrity. Of course, they got to come out. Where are you got to go?

I'm trying to think for the sanctity of the listeners here.

The listeners are fucking hanging out. It's July third. They're sitting at the beach. They want the boys chilling, hanging, having a good time. Hank is... What are you doing, Hank?

I'm trying to figure out my list.

He was looking at women on Twitter. There was a woman on his screen.

Okay, so here's how this game works. Steven's going to think of a celebrity. We'll start with Jerry, and we'll go around the room, you guess a name, and Steven says warmer or colder. So we get it. Whoever gets it gets the first pick.

What if whoever gets it gets to pick the entire order?

Yeah, no, they get to- Left or right. They miss that part, left or right. Unless they don't want to go first. They can also go wherever they want. We'll base it off. If I win and I'm like, I want to go third. Got it. I'll be like, Jerry goes first, Brandon goes second, I go third, and then we'll do that.

So this isn't going to mean anything. Well, no. It's chafing.

Yeah, it does. No, but we have to figure out who goes first. Yeah.

All right. Okay. You have your celebrity. Yes. Okay. Jerry, you start.

You just guess a person.

No clue. No.

I'll say warmer or colder, and then we'll go. The clue comes after the guess. No clue. The clue comes after the guess. Is this warmer?

You're not going to- Then you have to interpret his warmer or colder.

You understand.

Very cold.

Okay. It's an electric game.

Bob Costas.

Hot. Oh, wow. Okay.

Al Michiels.

Similar. Slightly less. Slightly colder than that.

Okay. Slightly colder than Al Michiels, but Bob Kostas was hot. Yeah. He was real hot. Ken Rosenthal.

Colder than.

Okay. We got colder.

Jim Nance.

Hot.

Oh, we're back to hot.

Scott Van Pelt.

Very hot.

Oh, boy. Oh, man. Chris Berman.

Hot. There's another Linda Cohn. Slightly colder than the rest, but you're still hot.

Scott Hansen.

Hotter in some ways, slightly colder in some.

Okay, who's the hottest one so far?

Chris Berman.

Chris Berm- Van Pelt.

No. Van Pelt. Van Pelt was the hottest?

Bob Le.

Still very hot. That was such a dismissive laugh. Yeah, I know.

Ryan Rosillo.

Slightly colder, but very hot still. Okay.

Stuart Scott.

In some ways, very hot. Okay. In other ways, cold.

It's a sports center right here.

So he's living.

Was that a hell joke?

Okay.

I think I got mine.

All right. Steven A.

Smith. Cooler. Dan Patrick. Here That's the best guess so far.

That's the best guess so far?

Yeah.

Keith Olberman.

In the ball. It's still very hot.

Rich Eisen. Correct. Yeah. Damn. Okay, Rich Eisen.

All right, so, PFT, what position would you like to draft?

This is a lot of responsibility here.

All the celebrities in the world, he chose Rich Eisen. I'd pick someone I think everyone knows.

Yeah, this is a snake draft, by the way.

Okay. You know what? I think I'm going to go first.

Okay. In which direction? And we're going to go right. Okay, great. So I'll go second. Third? Yeah. Third, fourth, fifth, sixth, Hank is six, and then his snake is back. So if you screw up, you would go in between the snake, Steven. You get it? No. If I screwed up a pick and picked a duplicate, I would go in between whatever snake. So it's either... It would be between PFT's two picks or between Hank's two picks because they're on the ends. Okay, got it. Okay, PFT.

I will say, if someone is out for the year, please let me know. I don't know most of these guys.

Okay. Okay. One-one. Making a big bet on this guy.Oh, boy. Shohe. Oh,wow. We're going Shohe right off the bat.

Oh, wow. So he classifies it.

So he classifies it. He's all wrongdoing. I conducted a lengthy background assessment on him. I looked into all the forensic accounting. I've determined that he definitely bet on sports and baseball, but I don't care. So he's on my team. Okay. Seamhead Express. Good, good pick. We should all have names for our team this year, too. Yeah, we should.

We should come up with names. Good, good pick. I guess I have to go with Aaron Judge.

That's a good pick.

Great pick and great value.

It'd be a shame if he got Aaron.

That's great value at two. Yes. That's great value at two.

So Ohtani is a DH, right?

Ohtani will be my DH.

Okay. I just want to make sure that we- You got that?

Yeah. Okay. Brandon?

I'm going to go with New York Met, Pete Alonso.

Wow. Chalk.

Real easy guy to root for.

Is he a bad guy? No, he's just- You guys said we were learning about, folks. Why is Max sitting like that?

He always sits like that. In a chair, it's striking. Okay.

I'm just going to say right now I had Pete Alonso as a fourth-round talent.

That sucks.

That's so bad for you. That sucks. I had him so far down.

Currently has 16 home runs. Yikes. Well, This isn't about what they currently have. This is about their heart and how they're going to finish the season. Yeah, I get it.

I will go the third base, and I will go Jose Ramirez.

Nice. That's a great pick, Jerry. Thank you.

Jerry, I think you could use him as your DH, which might be harder to come by, but I don't know.

I got some DHs. I'm going to go with Bryce Harper at first base.

He's going to get hurt.

Shut up, dude. Are we just picking our own guy? Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah.

He's going to get hurt.

I am going to go with a recurring guest of the program, Matt Olson.

Okay.

Who plays-Matt Olson.

First base.

That's right.

Does Schwarber D. H.

You fuck.

I'm not taking Schwarber.

That's a great pick.

That's a great pick.

Maybe the funnest guy in baseball to root for.Easily.Easy. That sucks.

That's a first rounder with second round.

You would have taken Harper if I took Shwarber. No.

Wait, no. You got him in the second round, but he's a first-round talent. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

Now, I-And he's probably going to... Well, the only thing is he might not play competitive baseball deep into September because the Phillies will have the one seed wrapped up. That's true.

Okay, go ahead.

Wait. I'll take Gunner Henderson. Fuck. I don't know how he lasted that long.

I was hoping that PFT was going to take Judge, and I was going to take Gunner, but he left me judge, and I had to take him. I wanted Gunner. Gunner slipped to the second round.

For a shortstop off the board.

Damn, that's a great It's a great pick, Max.

It's a great pick. So it's on Jerry.

It's on me? Yeah. Okay. I will go Jordan Alvarez, my DH. Dh.

That hurt bad.

Okay.

He's hurt?

No, that hurt bad.

He got hurt last year.

Okay. Just looking at all the DHs.

Also, something about a home run ball flying out in Houston just looks cool, doesn't it? It's a great stadium to hit a tatering.

Okay.

Are we doing specific outfield positions or is it outfield?

Outfield positions.

I'm going to go with outfielder, and somebody's going to have to tell me what position he plays. Juan Soto.Right.

Field.right field.

Good pick.

Can't believe he lasted that long. Can't believe he lasted that long. Okay, I will go. That was a good pick. That was going to be my pick. I'm very upset about that pick.

Well, Jerry took my pick.

He did? Yeah.

But they're all good players.

What are you guys colluding about?

I was asking what his first pick was because I'm trying to keep track.

Why is Max sitting like that?

I knew that.

Wait, no, it wasn't. That was a lie.

Okay. I will go with D. H, Marcelo Ozuna. Great.

Ozuna from the Braves.

Great pick, Dan. Thank you. I like how my team is coming together right now. This is some good podcast.

Yeah, it really is.

I need to know how we're going to qualify this guy. Muki Muki Bets. In what position?

Where do you want to go?

I think he's right field.

Dodger. I think he's- A little shortstop?

This is a Stephen Chey question.

Stephen Chey, what is he going to be?

All right, let me make an official ruling on this.

Or Shane- She has to Google Muki Bets. Shane Mr. Memes, you guys want to-Oh, my God.

He plays right fielder, second base, and a shortstop. Mr.

Position. Which one is he played the most at?

That's a good question.

I know what I want Steven to say, so I'm not going to say it.

I feel like Steven I would have had this information.

Just pick one, PFT. I'd like him to be my second- No.

I think he played second base that much. Yeah, he doesn't play enough.

Shortstop by a lot.

Okay, so it's a shortstop.

I'll take him at shortstop.

It's a good pick. Well, he-It's a good He's out for the year. Mouky?

I'm pretty sure. What?

I don't think he's out for the year, but he's injured. Are you serious? He locked him in. It's fine.

He did lock him in. Yeah.

Yeah, he got smoked. It's a good pick. He got smoked in the hand.

Dodgers are proving they can stay afloat without Mukie bats.

What the fuck?

Good pick. So PFT is at that. So you know. Is he out for the year? No, he's not out for the year.

Okay.

He's fine.

Any injury that's not out for the year, your pick stays. I did that last year. We all did that last year. We picked guys that were hurt by accident.

He's hurt bad.

He's not hurt bad. Dude, watch the video of him getting hit in the hand. It sounds bad.

I don't want to listen to it. I don't want to watch it. Okay, good pick. Thank you. Good player. Good pick.

I'm going to go with-It was the MVP favorite when he got hurt.

He'll be back.

Yeah.

You just don't like him because he left you.

I love Muki Bets.

What are they doing?

I don't know. I'm going to go with... Was it John Stanton? Is that what Biz called him?

John Carlos.

Carlos Stanton? I think he called him Carlos Stanton. John Carlos. I know his name, but Biz- You know he called him John Carlos. John Carlos Stanton.

John Carlos Stanton. Also hurt.

Are you serious? But always hurt. Yeah, definitely hurt.

Oh, my God. This is incredible. Left ham string, expects to miss four weeks. That's not that bad.

Yeah, that's fine.

It's a month.

You're good. You're good. You're good. That's nothing.

You love pitching. I am fine.

He is a DH, yes.

He's an outfielder.

That's fine. He's mostly DH.

Whatever. Let's let him have it.

Not for a month. He's a DH.

He's not doing anything. He's a DH.

Wait, do you have a DH?

He already has O'Tani at DH.

Oh, no.

All right. I'm going to need O'Tani.

Thank God you have that list.

Put the team on my back.

What position do you want him to be?

He's going to be outfield.

We're just doing what we want now. Specifically, left field, right field, too.

Left field.

Wait. He plays right field.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. It's three outfielders. It doesn't matter which-No, you have to get the right outfielder. Okay.

Yeah. I thought Soto played right field. Soto, I have-Soto does play right field.

Soto is a right fielder. Right. Jean-claude is the DH. Yeah. He's 100% a DH.

Well, then PFT has two DHs.

All right. So he has to count him as a left field.

Well, then no. I probably have to take him on my lineup. I probably have to do a different pick.

You have to do left field.

Left field? Okay. Yeah.

Okay. I will take for my next selection. I don't understand- Good pick. I don't understand Ebo's list.

It doesn't really have a lot of rhyme or reason to it, does it?

No, it doesn't.

This could have been an email.

I'll take Anthony Santander. Great pick.

Thank you, Jerry. Do you know who that is?

Yeah, right fielder.

Okay. Orials. I...

This is some good podcast.

Yeah, it really is.

I like that we invited Brandon on the first time for the worst thing we do.

You can't come off this looking good.

If you don't like this episode, please tweet BFW. Let him know that he can't come back on.

See you guys in September. I will take... I don't know if he's... I'm going to take Austin Reilly, third baseman, former Mississippi State signee, the Atlanta Braves.

Okay, you got a brave.

I don't know how this guy didn't get off the board yet, but I'll go first base Josh Naylor.

He's hurt.

Is he? Is he?

No, I don't know. He could be. I don't even know who he Okay, you're up.

Sounds like a pornster. Is it me? Yeah.

I am going to go with... Who? Philly. Rafael Devers. Fuck you, Hank.

Oh, nice.

Got his ass, third basement.

Picked him off. Third baseman, Rafael Divers.

I will go with, and I feel like he might be hurt, Fernando Tatis Jr.

He is hurt. It's a good pick, Hank.

He's hurt.

Yeah, but I don't think he's out for I think he's really hurt.

And then I will go...

Where does Tatis play?

Right field.

He plays right field. Oh, fuck. Let's go Jazz Chisholm.

Jazz Chisholm. Good pick, hey?

What position does that gentleman play?

He's center field. Okay. Thank you.

I... I have lost. I've lost the plot. I am all over the place here. I have lost every single place that we're at right now.

I'm going to go with Nolen Gorman.

That's definitely not his name.

Nolen Gorman.

What position?

What is it? Second base.

Did you take two, Hank?

Yeah.

Okay. I don't know who's been picked.

We're all over the place now.

This is bad. What I'm doing, I'm just going way far down the list, assuming none of those guys are.

I just have outfielders.

Yeah, I only have outfielders.

I'm just guessing on the positions.

It's on me? Yes. Okay. I will go...

Do I have this position?

Center field. I will go Julio Rodriguez.

It's a great picture. It's just a phenomenal picture.

Yeah, I feel like you're just taking stock names.

This is a center field of yours. What was your first guy? So my lineup right now is, I don't even know, Jose Ramirez, Jordan Alvarez, Josh Neller, and I just picked. I don't even know his name. Julio Rodriguez.

What? These are bad names?

I'm trying to figure out what position everybody plays. He plays center field. I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about the next guy I pick.

Okay, you got this, Brandon.

I'm going to go ahead and take the Oscar Hernández. The Oscar Hernández. I don't know.

You just gave me shit for Nolen Gorman. You just said the Oscar. Why are you hollering? Don't holler at him.

Don't holler at him. This is the show.

Why is he hollering? Don't holler at him. It's like Ohio State. It's The Oscar.

The Oscar Hernández.

Isn't it T? Don't be hollering at him.

Yeah, but T is Spanish for the. Oh, wow.

Okay, this could be a reach. You know what? I'm not going to.

Do it.

That was going to be stupid. Yeah, that was dumb. That was going to be dumb. Has anyone taken-I don't think you can ask this question. I'll just say a name, and this isn't who I'm taking, but... Wait, is he hurt? That might be hurt.

You shouldn't look it up. You should just roll the dice.

Okay, I'll roll the dice. Yeah, a little dangerously, man. All right.

Christian Walker.

Is he real?

Yeah. First basement, Arizona Diamondbacks. That's my guy.

Great pick, Dan.

Yeah, I'm giving up on trying to keep track of who's taking people. I was really drawing early.

Okay, I'm going to go with Ellie De La Cruz.

That was who I was going to pick.

Ellie. Give me Ellie as a reach. No, it's not.

Yeah, because you could have had him with this pick.

I got him. I could have had him with my second pick. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, with my second pick. You saw as a reach. Ellie De La Cruz, third base?

Shortstop. Shortstop. Shortstop. Shortstop. Shortstop. Shortstop. I saw him have five.

Shortstop.

We have Muki Betz.

Oh, you can't take him.

Oh, no.

You can't take Ellie.

Well, Moki's dead.

No, you can't take Ellie.

Can't. You already have two right fielders.

You're making a debacle of this. Why can't I? Because you already have a shortstop.

It's a shortstop.

It seems like you may have to stay with this list not having positions on it.That's.

What I was going to say.That might be true.

Yeah, we've already given you a real nice one having two DHS.

Okay, give me Mike Trout.

Okay. He's out to long. He's out to long.

I think he's coming back soon.

I think you're throwing.

He's out to August. He's coming back soon.

You're throwing this right now. He's coming back in August.

So PFT is not even starting until August.

Yeah. You're throwing this. I think you're throwing this. I'm going to see right now how you're throwing.

You enjoyed pitching.

Yeah, you're trying to pitch again.

I was sore for a week.

But you're throwing this.

I'm just doing a bad job, just naturally.

Pft, you're back on the clock.

I can't take Ellie.

I think you have to throw Mike Trout, too.

I mean, yeah, I'll throw him.

Absolutely. Yeah, because I don't want you to throw it.

I'm honestly not throwing.

Mike Trout is a last round pick. He's not back till mid-august.

Okay. Well, thank you for changing the rules of the game. I will accept it.

We don't want to throw.

I'm going to take... See, I know whoever I'm about to say, I'm not going to be allowed take. You know what? I'll take Salvador Perez.

Good pick.

That's an awful pick. Why? He's a catcher? He's not even the best catcher.

I like him. Okay. He was on the Seamhead Express a couple of years ago.

Okay, and you have another pick.

I'm just going to make sure this person's not hurt. I think we can all agree that's a-It's a fair. It's a fair thing to do. I'm going to go with Freddie Freeman.

It's a good pick.

Good pick. Who's that guy?

First place.

I will take Ellie Dela Cruz. Reach. I knew that I... No, that was great value. I waited all the way till it came back because I knew you already had a short stop. That's a reach. I did not know you already had a shortstop. That's great, man. Thank you, Jerry. Appreciate that.

Quick break to talk to you guys about Chevy. As everyone knows, this is a Chevy Truck podcast. The greatest trucks ever built and our good friends at Chevrolet have been a big part of the part of my take story. From the Silverado helping us dig the biggest hole ever dug in Ohio during Grit Week to Silverado partnering with us to give college fullbacks all the rightful recognition they deserve with a lowman award. They also powered our nonstop cross country trip to the Super Bowl in LA, behind the wheel of a Chevy Silverado. Silverado has been a part of it all. Chevy Silverado, long-time awesome partner of the show, a truck with commanding, unstable grit, legendary capability and dependability, too. So find out for yourself, like so many other AWLs, head to chevy. Com to check out all a Chevy truck grit and build your own Silverado. For do it yourself projects, road trips, off-road adventures to tailgates, whatever your thing is, it all starts with a Chevy truck. It's also brought to you by part of my cheesecake big announcement. We just added a new limited time item to the menu this week, the Buffalo Tender sub.

It's got crispy chicken tenders tossed with Buffalo sauce, topped with ranch and pickles on a toasted hoagie roll. We've been adding a bunch of new menu items these last couple of months. Remember, you can order the Big Cat combo and get your cheese steak of choice, fries, and a drink. For dessert, try our new donut dippers, delicious donut holes tossed in cinnamon sugar and served with a rich caramel sauce. Wash it all down with a max special. You get two sodas with it. Not one soda, you get two. If you can handle it, if you're man enough for the max special, pick it up. With more than 1,500 locations nationwide, find a Part of My Cheesesteak near you, and you can order yours now at partofmycheese steak. Com. Use code PMC 20, get 20% off your order. Now, here's more Dingers only.

Brandon. Brandon, you're up.

I will take Bobby Witt Jr.

Okay.

Stooley.

What is that? What was Oof?

You missed one on there. I'll go on my stock name pick, Shortstop, Cory Seeger.

That's a good pick.

Hold on one second.

Hold on one second. Oh, no.

Please announce positions with- It really is fun. This is fun. It's enjoyable to be with you guys. I've never been allowed to be with you guys, and I appreciate it.

Cory Seeger, Shortstop. This is a great time. It's a great time.

My turn?

Yeah. My turn?

I will be taking Adley Rutschman. Good pick.

Position?

Catcher.

He's the Commissioner.

Yeah. He doesn't know baseball.

He doesn't know shit about baseball.

I don't know anything about baseball, bro.

He didn't know shit about shit. He just broed you.

I will go with Alec Bomb at third base.

That's not his name. Beast. What's his name? I don't know.

He's more of a doubles guy than a home runs guy, but that's fine.

And at second base, I will go with Jose Altuv.

Yep, good hit.

That's definitely his name.

I'm going to take Kyle Tucker.

What position does he play?

Right field.

You just say right field for everybody.

He is right field.

Okay, I was worried somebody else had taken him. But, yeah, Kyle Tucker.

Okay.

Hank, who is your second pick?

That's a great pick, Max. Yeah, great. That was great. Thank you.

Jose Altuv. Okay.

Just trying to remember these pics. It's very, very difficult.

It's very challenging.

Very, very difficult. Okay, you're up, Jerry.

I'm up?

Yeah. Oh, my God.

I'm going to go with right field, Adales Garcia.

Yep.

That's the name. You have a great name, Timo.

You do have a great name, team.

I will be selecting second basement, Jordan Westberg of the Baltimore Orials.

Nice.

Was he here? Was he one of the guys here? Yes, he's family, and he's former Mississippi State.

What was his name?

Jordan Westberg.

What does he do?

He plays second base for the Baltimore Orials.

Second or third?

He plays second.

Fair.

Fair.

Let me get a ruling on that.

Sure about that?

I'd like to see a ruling. Okay. A ruling for the commish.

No, he's locked in. It says, Second and third baseman. I will do like I did for everyone else. I'll look at his stats and see what he plays more of. Is that fair? Do you feel good about this? We just had a fist bump because of the mix.

I know. I'm just saying. I had a question in because my list says something different.

He plays way more third base. Is that what you wanted? I already have a third base. Okay, so I would rule that you cannot take him. So I'm not taking him? Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Third basement. You took Austin Reilly. Correct. Yeah.

You cannot take him.

Wait, still Brandon.

Okay, Brandon.

I will take Catcher Cal Raleigh.

Fuck, that was right. That was going to be my pick. Who has Tiasca Hernandez?

I do. Is he hurt?

No, I just- He is the Oscar. I didn't know if anyone put it. That was a good way of me finding out. Okay.

I really wanted Westberg.

What was that noise?

That was me scratching off Jordan Westberg, angrily. We can note that everyone has a first basement. First basements are done.

That's interesting. I love that. That's an interesting fact. Why do you love that?

Because we don't have to worry about it anymore. Okay.

Yeah, we don't have to worry about that anymore. I really was going to take Cal Raleigh, and you fucked me real bad.

Jerry fucked you by making a noise about Jordan Westberg, who is a second baseman. He has played second baseman, but it looks like 80% of the time, he's at third.

Tyler O'Neill hasn't been taken, right?

Not in this draft. He has not.

I'll take Tyler O'Neill. Is that the guy who Dave texted me and was like, Bet on him to hit the home run?

Mr. Opening Day?

Yeah, Mr. Opening Day.

Might be. Okay.

Tyler O'Neill.

Pft. Left field.

Okay. I'm going to go with... Oh, I almost did it again.

No way. The guy is throwing the draft.

I'm not throwing the draft, I promise you. If I tried to throw the draft, I would not be this good. Okay. This is a nightmare for me right now. I should have done more prep.

Yeah.

I should have done any prep. But you got to-Cody Bellinger. All right.

Position?

Centerfield.

I think that's right. Checks out. Yes.

Okay. You're good. Cody has been not great this year.

He's coming on. His nine home runs.

It ain't about what's happening.

The wind's about to start blowing out big time. When does the home run start?

July fourth. That's when our stats start. This comes out July third. All stats start July fourth.

Got you. Okay. I'm looking for a second basement.

Excuse me.

Has Marcus Simeon been picked? He has not. I don't think so. Then I'm going to take Marcus Simeon.

Okay. I don't want to take this guy, but I have to have at least one cub, so I'm going to take Christopher Morel.

Sorry. Who did you take?

Christopher Morel. All he does is hit dingers and make errors.

What position is Mr. Morel? Third base.

He's hitting 204.

He care about all runs.

He care about all runs. That's what he does. He just fucking launches him, and then he sucks all everywhere else.

Brandon. I would like second basement, Osi Albies.

Oh, little run on second basement here, huh?

Yeah, let's get rid of him.

Who is it?

Osi Albies? Is anybody else respecting left-center, left-field, right-center, right-field? I did.

Center Right. After this round, I think that Che should go team by team and let us know what positions he still needs.

I absolutely did. I have a left fielder, center fielder, right fielder.

Because I only have... I have a right fielder, and I don't know what Tiasca Hernández is.

Tiasca Hernández is left field.

So I need a center field. Thank you, Max.

You're welcome.

I said thank you, Max.

I take all credit for Max's things. Very good. Yeah. All right, who's up?

Jj.

All right. I think I need a left fielder right now. We're actually cruising here. We've got seven rounds are done.

Almost. Yeah, six and a half.

I'm just going to go off a name that just sounds like a home run guy.

Okay. Barry Bonds. No. I don't even know how to pronounce this.

Randy Zerina.

You didn't even try one of the syllabus.

Randy Rose Zerina. You didn't even try one of the syllabus. Is it a home run guy? Say it again.

Randy Zerina.

Randy Zerina.

Left fielder?

Yeah.

How is he?

He does hit bombs. Does he? Yeah. Fair. I'm in. You were in as soon as you picked him? Yeah.

I'm going to take Brian De La Cruz, DH.

You made that guy up. Nope. He has 14 home runs this year.

I'm going to take another Cruz.

O'neill. Yeah.

O'neill Cruz.

Oh. Job, Hank. Is he hurt? He sucks.

No, he's a beast.

What position is that, gentleman?

He's a shortstop. I don't think I have a third basement.

Sorry, can you say that name again?

O'neill Cruz.

What's he doing?

Oh, no, I do have a third basement. For my catcher, I'm going to take Will Smith, Getting Jiggy with it.

Nice.

Do you want a position recap or no?

Yeah. Sure. That was the end of-I'm good.

I know where I'm-Yeah, no, let's not.

I'm good. I got it.

I will be taking Reilly Green, left field.

Great pick.

Who'd you take? I didn't take Reilly Green. Nobody's I'm not taking them yet. Who'd you take? I don't know. Osi Alves?

You took someone.

I didn't take Reilly Green. I took Austin Reilly. There it is.

I knew there was something.

Me?

How many rounds have we done?

This is going to be the eighth round.

There's two rounds left.

I will do my second base. I would do Ketel Marte.

That's what I wanted.

I will go center field. I don't know if he's hurt. Luis Robert Jr.

That's where I was going. Yeah?

He stinks so far.

Fuck. I thought no one else was going to take him.

But I did. But you did. Okay, I'm going to take... This is going to be a name I don't know how to pronounce, but I'm going to say it anyway. Oh, no, this guy sucks. Oh, he had no home runs. They don't got a second baseman they think they like.

I did, but Chey wouldn't let me have him.

Bryson Stott, good player.

Who?

Bryson Stott, second baseman of the Phils, great player.

Is he actually? Does he hit a home run?

Certainly not a great player. No, he's a good player with runs in scoring position.

That doesn't...

Second base sucks, huh? Yeah. Who got the best second baseman? Marcus Simeon was a good pick. Whoever got him. Thank you. Jose Altuve was a good pick. Whoever got him.

Thank you.Nolan Gorman, 16.Gorman.

Was a good pick. Home runs.

Thank you.

You got both those?

No, I got it. No, I got it. No, I got it.

No, I'm going to take...

This is great. I love this. I love this for us.

I will take Tyro Estrada. You could pick. Tyro? Second basement.

Yeah, nine home runs.

Yeah, but he's hit one in the last month.

He's hot.

Pft, back to back.

I think I made some...

I have two positions to fill.

Yes.

Can you tell me what those two positions are?

Yes. You need a third basement. Okay.

And then a right fielder?

No, you already have two right fielders.

No, he has no right fielders. Oh.

We classify-Oh, he tried to make John Carlo a right fielder.

And then he tried to take Trout.

And then he tried to take Trout.

Yes. So you need a right fielder in a third basement.

Right fielder in a third basement, huh?

Let me see what position they've I'm going to play him. We rolled John Carlo left field. Do we want to look into that?I.

Can look into it.He's DH. Okay. But we're giving him left field.

Okay, so I need to fill. Manny Machado.

Dh? What's he play?

Third base, right?

He does play third base.

I think he's more DH. How painful is this for time's scene heads? Yeah, this is so bad.

I thought he was a third basement.

Yeah, he is a third basement. He's very much a third.

No, he's a third basement.

He's a third basement.

Yeah, I was all over that one. Oh, yeah. Now I need a center fielder. Oh, I got one for you. What do you recommend here, Jerry?

Ask Jerry. No, not a third base. We need a right fielder.

We need a right fielder?

Yes. You want to take something from Max? Cody Bellinger at center.

Okay. I do want to take something from Max. Castianos.

Yeah.

That's a good pick.

You play center field?Right.

Field.right field.

Oh. Max, what's he playing these days?

He plays right field.

Okay, I got him.

Okay.

It'll be a deep drive to left.

My last pick is going to be Shay Lengeliers. Oh, that was mine. Fuck. From the Oakland Athletics. Catcher. Catcher. Shay Lengeliers.

Okay. I almost picked a guy who was retired, I think.

Okay.

Dale Murphy?

No. I don't know. I can't find... How can you all find who's playing DH? Where are you getting this information?

I'll just give you some DHs.

I think for the most part, we're saying- Andrew McCutchen.

He's having a good year.

I'll give you some DHs. Okay, but- James Martinez.

I feel like everybody else is just going to use somebody who's already positioned. Brent Rooker.

We all got real DHs.

Is Manny Machado a DH?

That's what I said. Manny Machado is one of the best he plays in the league.

Yeah.

All right, I'm done. Brent Rooker, T. H. He went to Mississippi State. That's good enough for me.

Did he actually? Yeah.

You guys must have won a lot of championships.

We won one. We're there all the time.

But Ole Miss won one right after, so it negated yours.

That's the one I remembered. I forgot about Mississippi State. Really?

Who was there? Name one player off that team.

No, I just remember them winning the championship.

You remember it? Who was one player off their team?

Ben Mints.

He was good. Shanks. He was damn good. Jerry? Jerry.

I will do...

I don't know this guy's name. O'hope.

O'hopey.

What?

Catcher.

L. O'hoppie? Yeah.

L. O'hoppie. Catcher. He's got 10 home runs on the air right now. It's pretty good.

Yeah, center field is pretty tough. I'm going to go with J. J. Blidae. I wanted to do Trout, but the injury is tough.

He's coming back, right? What picture?

What position? Mid-august. Centerfield.

I never got Tyler O'Neill as a great pick.

I did Because Dave texted me that time.

Then I will go. Let's just go with the name.

That makes sense.

It's a good choice.

Jurexon Profar.

Good name. That's a good one. That sounds like it. Jurexon. I would just say Boms.

Then, Steven, what, hypothetically, would my last position be?

Wait, I think you're done. Wait, did you just...

Hold on. Who was the name of the guy you just said?

Jurexon Profar. I think I'm done.

This is the last round. Yeah, Hank is done.

We're all done, too.

We're all done. We're all done. That was great.

Are we all done? Now we got to pick pitchers. Pitchers? Yeah.

Pitches. Strikeouts.

Strikeouts.

That's going to be the tiebreaker for what?

If there's a tie.

So does Hank I go now. That makes sense. Yeah. Okay.

I should get to go first, right? Oh, actually, yeah. I won. I won. I don't care.

You had the best draft also.

It goes back to the original draft. I had a really good draft.

Wait, why should I have to go last?

No, it goes back to the-This isn't around. Front. Yeah, it starts.

Yeah.pft goes.Okay, so I-What?

No, no, no.

But this isn't around. The draft is over. This is an extra.

It's a free-for-all. All I'll take glass now.

No, no.

I'll take a free throw. All right, I got Tareek Scouble.

I got Skine. Back Wheeler. I got Skine.

Dylan Ceece. Dylan Ceece. I got Skine. Dylan Ceece.

I think that worked that well. We should have been doing that this whole draft. If we just started- Steven says it A position?

And then we all just said, Oh, should we start over?

No, no, no.

I think we learned a bunch of names right now. I think we're all baseball experts after that trap.

Let's just see what would have happened. Steven, say a random position.

Left field.

John Carlos Stanton.

Now the old question.

Oscar Hernandez.

Can everyone say who the pitcher they said out loud is? Skins. Garret Crochet. God damn it, Skins was genius.

Let's go left to right.

Skins.

Paul Skins. Skins because it's not how many you've had. It's all going... Or no, wait.

No, it's season total.

You said it was. It's season total.

That's actually a terrible pick.

That's a terrible pick, then. Yeah, bad pick.

Wait, it's season total? It's not from here... No, it should be from here on No, no.

They said no.

It's a tiebreaker. It's not going to matter.

That's crazy. I did say it was-But why would the home runs be from here on out? Because the home run- None of it makes sense. That's true.

Why am I? I had Garrett Crochet.

I took Terrible pick. I took to Scrooble because I have him to win the Cyon.

He doesn't get a lot of strikeouts, does he?

He's fifth in the league.

He took Scooble, you said?

He's got 112. Yes, Scooble.

Okay. Pftu, dude.

Took Dylan Cise.

Cise. Max, you're Jeff?

Zack Wheeler.

Paul Skane's ain't even in the top 200.

No, he started late.

Tyler Glisnell.

Seamheads are going to be so upset with you guys, not with me.

John Tyler.

You just picked all Phillies.

I picked literally one Philly. I tried to- All Philly. Well, Zack Wheeler, I guess, but he's not really on my team.

All right, Steven, you- Also, as bad as this was, I think this was leaps and bounds ahead of last year. Yeah. In terms of picking the same players. We did it a lot, faster. Yeah, no.

There was so The breaks were so much longer last year. We just ripped it.

Yeah, we ripped it. All right, so, Steven, can you give us a recap of all of our teams? We'll do draft grades.

Nobody picked Vlad Junt.

Okay. No. Oh, yeah. Last year, TJ picked an entire team of guys that we didn't pick. I don't think he finished last. Memes should do that.

He came in second. Memes, you want to do it?

He hasn't followed. I have no idea yet. I can't believe Jerry took Skeens.

Why did you pick Skeens?

How much Strykos is he?What.

Do you know about Skeans?He's not even in the top 300.

He got like 30.

Jerry, what do you know about him? I know he dates Libby Dunn. There you go.

How long, Meems, how long have we been doing this?

Like 32 years. It's been our second year.

Fifty? Oh, that's not bad.Yeah, that's bad. Because it's almost a full-You're really worried about the time. Then we have Gunner.

Oh, you got to call Gunner. Here. You got to call Gunner.

Is he at practice?

No, he should be done. Done with this meeting? Here. All right, we're going to go out there. We're going to have you guys hit the ball today.

All right. Welcome him to your team. Stop, Hank. You might still be a BP. Yeah.

Probably still a BP. It's okay. You're going to leave a message? Leave a message, Max. Yeah, leave a message. No, don't leave a message. Well, I don't want to. Leave a message, Max. Leave a message. I don't need a number on the...

I don't even believe it.

Yeah, leave him last...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants to hear from you. This is Gunner Henderson. Sorry, I missed your call. I don't think anybody leaves their number. The first and last name.

Hey, Mr. Henderson. This is Max DeLente, owner of the Pugs, Dinger's Only, fantasy Base League. I just want to let you know with the second round pick of the Pugs, we've gone with Shortstop Gunner Henderson. We're really happy to have you on board, and I hope that you're excited to join the Pugs. Thank you.

Good message. Good message.

Thank you.

All right. So, yeah, let's run through the list.

That phone is not showing his number.

Good point.

Who did we get?

You want to list the overall rosters? Yeah. Okay. I'm just going to go first last. Pft, Shoheya Tani. Awesome pick.Muki Betz.Good pick.John Carlos-Stanton.

Most of these are her.Great pick.

Salvador Perez. I love him. Freddie Freeman. Good pick.Cody Bellinger.Great pick. Marcus Simeon. Manny Machado. Awesome. And nick Castellanos.

I'm just going to say that my Manny Machado pick, maybe the steal of the draft.

And you have no idea where he plays.

He plays for San Diego. No.

What position? Third base. Okay.

You guys tried to tell me he wasn't a third base. Is it DH? Big Cat. He tries hard every day. That's what I like about Manny Machado. Good, clean player. Big Cat.

Aaron Judge. Yeah. Marcel Azuna. Yeah. Anthony Santander. Oh, yeah. Christian Walker. Ellie De La Cruz. Tyler O'Neill. Christopher Morel. Thierro Estrada. Shay Legiliers.

Yeah, it fell off at the end. I think I got a solid team. Yeah, solid. Still second-base and catcher. If I can get 10 home runs out of the two of those guys, I'll be okay. All right.

Brandon has got Pete Alonso, Juan Soto, Oscar Reilly. Austin? Austin Reilly, sorry. Te Oscar, Hernández. Yeah, Oscar.

Bobby Oscar. The T.

Oscar. T. Oscar, Hernández. Bobby Witt, Jr. Cal Reilly, Osi Albeiz, Luis Robert Jr, and Brent Rooker. No holes in that lineup. That's a good one right there. Jerry has got Jose Ramirez, Jordán Álvarez, Josh Naylor, Julio Rodríguez. Oh my God! Cory Seeger, A Dallas Garcia, Randy Gales.

A Dallas.

A Dallas. Adales.

Adales Garcia.

Adales. How do you say that name?

Adales.

Hey, Adales.

Adales? Adales. Adales. Adales. Adales Garcia. Apologies to his family.

His family is listening right now. It's like, What the fuck, Jay? Randy- Apologize to him, not his sister.

Apologies to- To Adales or Adales? Adales. Adales Garcia. Randy Aruzarina. Ketel Marte. Logan Ohappi.

Stacked.

Max has got, Bryce Harper. L. Gunner Henderson. L. Rafael Devers.

What the- Yeah, I knew that was coming. I was excited for the L there. Nolan Gorman.

I was excited for the L there. Roland Gorman. Rushman.

So many of these names, I get dizzy listening to Stephen Chai pronounce them. Say, Arosa-rina, again.

Randy A Rosarina.

That makes me dizzy.

Kyle Tucker for Max, Brian De La Cruz, Reilly Green, JJ Bleedee, Hank. I don't know that guy. We've got Matt Olson, Kyle Shorber, Fernando Tatis Jr.

Injured. He's not hurt.

Jay Chiz... What's his first name? Jazz. Jazz.

Jazz. It's pronounced Jazz.

Jazz? Jazz.

It's like Jazz.

Jazz. It's the word jazz.

It's the word jazz. It is literally the word jazz.

Jazz Chisholm. Jazz Chisholm, Jr. Alec Bomm, Jose Altuve, O'Neill Cruz, Will Smith, Jurixon Profar.

Nice.

I don't want to just listen and read the rest of the-Actually, yeah, we should do an episode just of Che reading the entire list of MLB-Baseball Almanac.

Che reads. I think we nailed this.

Yeah, that was fun.

Felt good. One thing I know about this draft, though, is we have no idea how any team is going to do. No.

Well, we do know that some teams are going to have players that are playing, and some teams are not.

Yes, correct. Hank has an injured guy, too.

Your whole team would have been injured if we didn't change the rules.

Yeah, if we were to just stop. No, you would have had John Carlos, Trout, and Muki Betz.

I did not know that Muki was injured.

Or Trout.

Or Stanton. Moukhe was injured.

Stanton's always injured.

Muki was famously injured.

I'm pretty sure you, before this When the draft started, you were like, By the way, I'm... Yes, you were. You were like, I'm going to draft based on availability because Joel and me, it always gets hurt.

Yeah, true. But he threw it.

Do you actually think I threw it? Yes.

When you picked Trout, I thought you were throwing it. That was the third pick in a row of very injured guys.

I promise you, I did not intentionally try to throw this. Last year, I got fucked because a guy got injured right before we did the draft.

You're just getting your injuries out of the way.

This one, I was not prepared for.

Yeah, this sheet didn't do anything.

Yeah, this is a bad sheet. This is a useless sheet. I regret using the sheet if I-We should cut out Ebo's question. If I knew I wasn't relying on the sheet, I would have done more prep. But that's how it breaks. I have my team, and I'm confident.

Team is on the floor. All right, so one add or drop for an injury. And now? Or pedophilia? Not now. No, not now. Although, PFT could do now.

In the spirit of fairness, though, I'd like to just say I will sacrifice my drop because I was allowed to Mike Trout, and that would have made me fish in last, probably.

No, it's okay. You don't have to sacrifice your-Okay. Mike Trout was- You got to keep your pedophile drop.

Yeah.

Oh, no, I'm keeping that one.

Who knows what's coming down the road?

Yeah, those are separate, by the way.

Oh, there's an injury drop I'm not a pedophile drop. There's a pedophilia.

Yeah, it's like IR, except let's hope none of us have to use-PR. Pr. What if it's Judge? Are you going to use yours, Dan?

If what?

If Judge was a pedophile.

That's a good question.

But he wasn't suspended the Yankees. He'd really earned his points.

He is a good player. We'd have to assess the situation day by day. There. I'm talking to the league offices. Wait for all the facts to come up. I've had some conversations with Aaron himself. We're just making sure that we do the right thing.

No further questions. Make the final judgment come October.

Yeah, exactly. All right. Any last things? We're going to play some ball, hit some dingers. Have some fun. That it? Sure.

Sure.

All right, boys.

Meme said that he has Pug doing the numbers next door. Oh, okay.

Let's do numbers. Yeah. Let's get a FaceTime of him so we can see it. All right, everyone, numbers.

Twenty.

56.

Twenty-three.

Twenty-four.

Why did you just look at me like that? I don't know. You just looked at me so ferociously.

Steven?

I like to look at you ferociously. Twenty-six. It's a sign of respect in my culture. Three.

Zah? Oh, hey, Pug. Pug, did you say your number? I'll do 33. Za? 27. 27. All right, go ahead.

I don't love people in 20s.

It's a lot of numbers, boys. Two. Two.

So close.

Derek Cheater.

Respect, Pug.

Derek Cheater.

Love you guys.

I'm talking away. While I know what I'm no one. I'm not to say I'm to say it anyway. Today's not the day to find you.

Shine away.

While we're coming for your love of king. Take on me. Take me. I'll be

gone on a day or two All the things that you say, yeah, is it alive for you just to play memories away? You are the things that we say. Yeah, he's in love for it just to play memories away. You are the things I got to remember. He's shying away, Well, I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone in a day.