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On today's part in my take, we have a great show with some great friends. We got Julian Edelman on the show talking about the roast last week, talking about Drake May as a prospect, some also fun stories that we'd never heard before. Then we have a longtime friend, Blake Bortles, checking in. We figured we need to get Blake on before Blake of the Year happens in a month and a half. Always the best guy. Tells us what he's up to.

How retirement's treating him.

His construction career.

Relive some old moments.

Yeah. So awesome, awesome interviews on a Monday. And we also are going to talk some playoffs. All the overreactions look foolish now after a weekend of payoff games. We got a couple tied series. We got the Mavs up to one, Celtics back on track, and some good hockey that we're going to discuss as well. And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Did you ever play the over-under game with your friends? You know, think I can eat that slice of pizza in under 30 seconds, or I know it'll take you over a minute to down that two leader. If you have, then you're going to love Picks 6, the new fantasy game from DraftKings, an official partner of the NBA. Here's how to play during the NBA playoffs. It's super simple. First, download the DraftKings Picks 6 app. Then, Pick between two and six players and choose if they'll have more or less of a stat like rebounds, points, assists, and more. Track your picks and play against others for a shot to win huge cash prizes. That's all there is to it. For all first-time pick six players, check this out.

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Okay, let's go. Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work to be done. No place to hang out or washing. And then I can't blame all on the sun.

It's part of My Take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings Play Pick 6 from DraftKings, a new fantasy app that packs more fun into less time. Download the new DraftKings Pick 6 app now and use code TAKE. New customers play five bucks and get 50 in pick six credits. That's code take only on DraftKings Pick 6. The Crown is yours. Today is Monday, May 13th, and PFT, let's correct some overreactions.

The The Nuggets are, in fact, not dead.

The Nuggets are good at basketball.

They didn't forget how to play.

It felt like a lot has happened in the last three days of the playoff world, and the number one story is the Denver Nuggets evening the series against the Minnesota Timberwolves. And what we said last week, this is the first time the Nuggets are going to have their back against the wall in the last year and a half of playoffs. And it turns out they answered the bell, and they It looked awesome. And Nicole Jokić, who is the best player in the world, who you saw the little doubters creeping out of their holes and being like, Nicole Jokić shouldn't get his third MVP. He had a master class on Sunday night.

Yeah, and Friday night, they played really well, too. The overreaction was... I think it was somewhat warranted, though, because they looked like shit in the first two games. Michael Malone even said, You know what he did? He went home and he put together a compilation tape of all the talking heads talking shit about Nuggets. He was like, I didn't do that because I hate those guys. I did that because they were right. He actually credit to Michael Malone for respecting the biz and giving Stephen A. Smith all the credit for turning around. It was so bad. In fact, Stephen A. Smith, I don't know if you saw this, but after the game, the most recent one where they went up, I guess after Friday's game, Steven A. Smith said, Yeah, I was wrong and I apologize. I've never heard Steven A. Smith back to you. That is crazy. But I think when we talked about it, we were at least just saying what we've seen, which was the Nuggets looked like shit. They looked lost. The Timberwolves look awesome, which they did through two games. Then they found out, Yeah, okay, we can actually play with these guys.

That went on Friday, gave them a lot of confidence. It's a weird series because we haven't had a home team win yet. Correct. It's been business trips all around.

Jokić was incredible all weekend long. In the two games, he had 59 points, 21 rebounds, 16 assists in those two games. Tonight, especially, it feels like you don't want to say they solve something because this series will go back and forth, and now you get the counterpunch from the wolves. But Jokić, basically, especially with the Murray pick and rolls, was like, Oh, I'm just going to stop before I get close to the rim and neutralize Rudy Gobert and shoot these floaters that are there. And he was so awesome. And then it also helps that Aaron Gordon played out of his mind. 11 for 12 from the field was hitting everything. When Aaron Gordon plays that, everything opens up because now when you're doing pick and rolls, when you're cutting to the rim, he's standing out there. He's going to shoot, and he's going to make it. And the Wolves defense, and the worst part for the Wolves tonight. Listen, I understand It's emotional for fans when your team is in the playoffs. You've also got guys that you've ridden for for a while. Last week, I joked about Karl Anthony Towns making the... People talk about the big three, me, Ant, and Rudy Gobert.

I was like, I don't think people talk about that as a big three. Tonight is why? Because Karl Anthony Towns was fucking dog shit, and Anthony Edwards was incredible. They wasted a 44-point night from Anthony Edwards because Rudy Gobert and Karl Anthony Towns Towns were not good.

Well, yeah, Rudy Gobert wasn't great tonight, but the Nuggets did their worst damage when he was off the court. When he went out, he had two quick fouls and he went out, and they went on a huge run. It was like a 24 to 6 run, 24 to 4 run, something like that. It's because Rudy wasn't on the court then.

Karl-anthony Towns, I don't understand how a guy his size still doesn't know how to play in the post. He's in the post, and if it's Aaron Gordon one-on-one, Aaron Gordon can DM down. If they send a double team, he panics and looks completely lost. He was five for 18 tonight. Like I said, Anthony Edwards was out of this world. I don't know if there's an actual conversation to be had, but it feels like Nas Reid should be playing more, especially later in the game, and maybe tape sitting, Gobert or Karl-Anthony Towns.

Remember, that was game one, right? Nas Reid came out there and just lit shit up.

This is the frustration of Karl-Anthony Towns. He has all the ability in the world, but then you have nights like tonight where it's like, if you want to be a big three, you can't go five for 18 and waste a 44-point performance from your best player, Anthony Edwards.

I'll put it this way. If I was cat size, I would be the best basketball player in the history of the world. Yeah. I really would.

The Nuggets didn't shoot out of this, where they shot like 57 %.

Yeah, they shot really well. And they had the role players playing well on the road.

Yeah, Eric Gordon. That's what we always said.

That's the theme of this series, as we always say.

I know a game isn't won or lost in one moment, but I do actually think that the game was lost for the Wolves. With 48 seconds left in the first half, Anthony Edwards hit a three to cut the lead to seven. 48 seconds left. They went to halftime. They were down 15.

Yeah, I'd say that the game was over when Jamal Murray hit that shot at halftime.

That was just like they fought all the way back because they went down in the second quarter and like, Okay, we can go in the half down seven. That's great. And he's like, What the fuck just happened?

Somebody do the stats on that for me. If there's a buzzer beater before halftime in the game- A 55-footer. A 55-footer, I bet you that team goes on to at least cover the spread in the second half.

I do think the Wolves will have a good answer on whatever game Tuesday night. Maybe Rudi Gober just has to have another kid.

Well, maybe they need to have just another three-day break, and then flips back. Yeah. Because this series is... Buckle up. That's what I'm going to say. Buckle up for this series.

I was just very impressed by the Nuggets, and I know that they shouldn't be doubted because they won a championship, but they won it somewhat easily, and that's a credit to them. That's not saying it was an easy path, but this was their first real test of the playoffs in the last couple of years. And it's like, holy shit. They answered it, and they answered it resoundingly, we're for real, and we're not going to go down like punks.

Hank, you had something that you looked like you were going to say earlier.

What do you think?

You went back to scared about the Nuggies. You moved up to the mic.

Yeah, I mean, the Nuggets are the scariest team in the West. You're right. Left in the playoffs, period. Yeah.

Do you think the Wolves Where do you think this series is going to go? I think it's going to go seven.

I think it's going to go six.

Really? You think the Nuggets have it in the next two?

Unfortunately, I hope the Wolves went in six.

The fact that Steven A. Smith apologized concerns me. That would concern me deeply, deeply if I was a Timberwolves fan. Steven A. Smith could run somebody over in his car if he was driving it blindfolded, and he'd be like, That person shouldn't have been in the intersection.

Well, it's why the Nuggets are the team you want to face the least because they have the most experience, and this That time of the playoff where experience matters and the Nuggets just do not care. They're not worried about the pressure of game five or six or seven because Jokić is the team leader and he doesn't care. So it bounces off that. Whereas, Anthony Edwards is 22. The Thunder are super young. Even the Mavs don't have experience this deep in the playoff. So that's why thinking about the Championship, if you were to do that, you'd rather play one of those younger, more in experienced teams. But that's why I think the Nuggets, they're going to roll from here on out.

It was a fun weekend reminder that Jokić is the best player because the way he plays and the pace he plays and the decision making that he... He just puts the defense into such a bind when he's on that no No one else is really like that.

And he's passing right off a pick and roll. Yeah, he's a big question that you have to answer.

In the shooting before you get to the rim, figuring out exactly where he can take apart a defense with the defensive player of the year, Rudi Gober, and just seamlessly doing it.

It's just he's incredible. Hank said that he doesn't really care. But Jokuj actually would have seen from him in the last two games. He very much cares. No, not cares. You saw him a couple of times out there getting really heated up. He deeply cares about this team and he wants to win. When he gets home, he might be like, Oh, shit. I wish I was in a horse stable back in Serbia for the next two weeks. But when he's out there with his team, he definitely does care and wants to win very badly.

No, that's not what I meant at all. Obviously, he cares. He's the best player in the world. I meant more about the pressure of games that get later in the series. He doesn't feel the pressure. He doesn't feel.

I agree with that.

He doesn't care if it's game seven or if it's game two.

Yeah, he feels like he- He doesn't care if it's the finals or if it's the first round. The same guy every time, and it's a killer.

But with younger teams, even in Celtics in the past, you can see teams pucker up a little bit as the pressure rises.

He is nothing but success for the Celtics in the past, though.

Something like that.

Rank the four teams out of the West. Who are you the most scared of? And then all the way down to who you're not scared of at all. Nuggets, one.

Nuggets, Timberwolves, Thunder. Really?

What Kyrie steps unlucky?

Kyrie has gotten smoked in every single game he's played against the Celtics, I think, since that happened.

Since he stepped unlucky? Kyrie is playing out of his mind right now.

Yeah, no, he's really good. I just think the matchup versus Thunder would be probably harder for the Celtics than the maps.

We actually did a bad job. The most important story out of the NBA playoff this weekend is one that happened on Thursday night right after we got done recording. Somebody had their phone out and played porn during Lucas' press conference after the Yes.

It was actually the first time a lot of those reporters had ever heard porn.

Yeah, they were like, My God. What the fuck? I wish Jake Marsh was in the room at that time.

Is there a cat in distress?

What do you think the root cause of that was? My theory is that somebody clicked something and it opened up Safari on their phone. The last time they had been on Safari, they were watching porn. They got to go private. They forgot to close that. Or maybe they accidentally opened up a private tab, and it was still open from last time.

Sometimes I've heard that when you close I've heard that if you have it open and you close Safari, if you have a YouTube video and it will still be on your home screen to press play.

Oh, were you?

Yeah. I've heard that that could happen.

Was it James Brown video that you watch? Damplips.

Damplips. Com.

Little brunet bitch, stuck in your Trainer's Cup. I'll find it for us. Hank, let's do an experiment. Maybe pull something up on your phone and then press play and then see if it shows up on your home screen.

James Brown was...

It was definitely damplips. Com.

It was damplips. Com, and it was- Little blonde. Sexy little brunette. Wait, hold on. I'm trying to find it. He deleted it, obviously.

We got to find it. If I were him, I would never delete that.

Yeah, no. Leave that up, dude.

It stays up.

Well, let people have the fucking link.

Listen, I'm a man.

Yeah. The Are you doing it? Are you doing it? Mm-hmm.

Hank is giving you a test right now. So press play.

It is not showing up.

Do you have that Covenant Eyes app where you're not allowed to watch porn?

Oh, no. There it is.

What is it?

It's right there. Oh, it's right there. Okay, so now hit it and see if you can get it to play. Yeah. Okay. Was that fart porn? No. What was that? Sounded like a fart.

I don't I don't trust people, though, that don't X out right away. Sexy little brunette bitch, sucky little fucking emotional trainer's big cock. I don't trust people who don't X out right away. I agree. You have to X out right away. The minute you're just like, What am I doing? If you don't get that- That's what I'm saying.

No, that's what happened.

You need to feel some shame.

That's what I'm saying.

So you close it out? Walk us through what you just did.

You're watching.

Yeah. Okay.

You finish. You close it out.

This is some good investigative research.

You close it out. What do you mean close it out.

You just shut your phone. And it just stays on the home. I know what you're talking about. If you watch a YouTube video- You're watching it, then I close it.

Then I close my phone like I'm done.

But it's still- Damp Lips is still up on your phone. Yeah. Got it.

Why do they have the share to Twitter button on porn videos?

I mean, there are some people who probably want to share. Why do they have a comment section in porn videos?

People got to sound off. The comment section. Got to give some tips. I love the porn comment section. You get the real takes down there. Who is she? Yeah, this person I fell off. Anybody have a name? Name?

Yeah. At? Can someone give an at?

I hope it devolves in like, Goat Conversations down there.

Yeah, this is the goat. This is why she's my goat. Yeah. By the way, Skip Bayliss For Stephen A. Smith apologizing makes me think that Stephen A. Or, Skip Bayliss is like, he is not as popular as Stephen A. Smith. I think that debate is over.

You think Stephen A. Won the breakup?

He won the breakup. But I think Skip Bayliss won, if you want to say who stayed true to themselves, because Skip is still just firing crazy takes with no remorse. He had one that I'm mad that we didn't come up with. When Frank Vogel got fired from the Suns, he said, Frank Vogel led the Lakers to the 2020 Championship. Since then, he's already been fired twice. Shows you how the league viewed the Lakers bubble title Mickey Mouse. Yeah, everybody else- Frank Vogel getting fired twice.

God damn, that's good. Mickey Mouse That's what it's like. Good detective work. Also, that makes me think that how Skip Bayliss has lost two consecutive breakups. You would agree that also Shannon Sharp has been just next level? Yes, she's Club Shea Shea. It's like, Skip Bayliss is Good luck, Chuck, where if you get with Skip Bayliss, then your career is about to absolutely take off. I like that. As soon as you get done not having to talk to Skip Bayliss anymore, life becomes so much better.

Skip Bayliss, Try to make Emmanuel Ocho, Popular, Challenge.

Yeah, Level Impossible. Actually, Skip, if you want to be an intern, I'm part of my take. Yeah, we'll take you. Yeah, we'll take you on.

We were looking for a Cowboys fan. That'd be great.

What if we got Tiff hooked up with Skip Bayliss?

Will you do that to Ernestine?

I don't know if Ernestine exists.

No, she does. Does she? Yeah. They don't sleep in the same bed during the week.

Yeah, I don't know.

Who takes those videos? Ernestine. It might be Ernestine. It's either Ernestine or Wiz Khalifa. That's it. Yeah. Right? That's the only two options. Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne. My bad. He's best friends with Lil Wayne.

He is.

I was close. Wait, who does Whiz-Wale.

He likes Wale, too.

Is he root for the Steeler?

He's a Pirate fan.

Yeah, he's black and yellow, right? All right. I knew he was a sports fan, but yeah, Lil Wayne is a packer's fan. Yeah, look, there's Ernstein right there, right there on the screen. She's right there. We should talk about the Thunder.

I will not speak because if I speak, I will be in big trouble.

Let's talk about the Thunder and Mavs. I might be out on the Thunder.

Okay.

They're young. They're fun. Sga is awesome. Chet is awesome. I love Lou Dork, even though this might not have been the best Lou Dore game because they were like, Hey, what if we just did UFC to Luka all game? Lou Dore just delivered a perfect knee to the midsection on one of those plays. And Luka is like, I know we said that he lets you know he's hurt. He's actually hurt now because they just keep hurting him.

So I think that two things can be true about Luka. One is he complains about everything. And the second is he's also tough as fuck.

Also, Max told us after the show on Friday, he was like, When you guys were talking about Luka being the new Big Ben, I was just silently being like, Please don't bring up Embiid. Embiid is the new Big Ben. That was It's your fault. Correction.

Good point, Max.

Good point, Max. I'm out on the thunder for one reason. They can win me back. I thought that was so fucking lame that they did Hacker Lively with six minutes left, down five Five. It was a five-point game, and they started doing Hack-a-Shack on Derek Lively, who I always root for the guy who gets hacked to prove them wrong. And he did. He went 8 for twelve from free throws. You're the one seed, and you're down five in the fourth quarter with six minutes left, and you have SGA and one of the best players in the NBA, and you're doing fucking Haka Lively. Also-come on, man.

Lively is becoming one of my favorite players, one of my favorite role players in the NBA. Yeah. He works so hard defense. He's fun to watch. When you do, there was one time when Chet was chasing him around the court, like he was playing tag. Lively had to run out of bounds and run back in bounds. Chet was just running out with his arms outstretched, like Pepe Lepew trying to catch the girl cat. It was very funny to watch, but you're right. I root for the guy that is being singled out as being a shitty free throw shooter.

It just ruins the flow of the game. The end of the game, it was a great game, and then it just got clunky, and we're just going the free throw line. Again, it's six minutes left. You're down five. I don't want to see this happen in basketball again, where it's like, this is what the analytics tell us. We got to just start fouling this guy. Play the game out.

And haters of the NBA will say, We only have to watch the last two minutes of the game, which are the best parts, usually, of a game, and they're taking that away from us.

Yeah, I don't know. Again, they can win me back, but I think even Thunder fans probably were a little disappointed in that because you're the one seed. You have a really good team. You have a lot of young, awesome players that are learning how to play in the playoffs, and then you're doing this bullshit with six minutes left. We also should shout out P. J. Washington, who's the best player ever.

Twenty-seven points. This was the first time that Kyrie and Luka have played together on the Mavs, and one of those two is not the leading score on their team.

Yeah, he's been incredible. I think everyone graded that an F trade when he got traded from the Hornets, but he's been awesome. Then Kyrie in one-on-one situations at the end of the game. I don't know who else. I mean, maybe you'd say Jokić, one one-on-one situation, but he's got to be top three in terms of you need a basket, just let Kyrie do whatever he's got to do, and he'll get it.

I don't know if he'd be number one, but he'd definitely be number one in terms of guy that I like to watch play basketball with a ball in his hands one-on-one at the end of the game.

And they were actually playing decent defense. He's just so good.

You know what he's really good at? I know that Steph Curry did this a few times, but I think Kyrie is better. The pretending to pick up your dribble move. Yeah. And you have to watch Kyrie. You have to watch Kyrie- The stutter. You have to watch him in slow-mo to watch every time that he does it because he does nine different moves every time you think he's doing one move. But he'll pick that hand up and put it next to the ball and take it away so fast that it just gets a defender to just make one small move, hesitate for a second, come up to try to block a shot or get in his way, and then he's past you. But he does that. It's so smooth and so fun to watch, especially when he does three between the legs, two behind the back, spin move, floater in the lane with his left hand. It's poetry.

It's incredible. I'm going to let the Thunder maybe win me back because they are so young and so fun to watch, but that pissed me off. You're the one seat. You're a good basketball team. You're a really good basketball team.

They thought they had something.

It just ruins the flow of the game. Derek Lively proved that he was up for it.

Yeah, so what's his free throw percentage normally? Let's find it. You said he's 8 for 12, right?

But you know it's some nerd. I bet you the guys on the Thunder are like, This is We don't want to do this.

Yeah, it's a nerd. There's a nerd. It's a nerd thing. We have a nerd in the building in Oklahoma City. Right.

And he's got too much power, so we got to figure out how to get this nerd out of here. All right, Derek Lively. And this is taking a lot for me to defend a Duke player like this. He's 50.6% in his career from free throw.

But he is also, again, watching him, especially on the defensive end, he's a fun player. Yeah.

The Mavs, they look good. They look good. Not scared. They're number 4 on Hank's scared of teams. Yeah. Okay. Hank, would you like to talk about your game? Yes, I'd love to. Feels like Jason Tatum listened to everyone. And by the way, we weren't the only ones. I think actually we were probably the nicest of the things that were said about Jason Tatum because there was a lot of people were like, he just flat out not the guy. Yeah, haters. If you remember, our answer to the question was, yeah, and he was awesome on Saturday night.

Yeah, he's playing super aggressive. Was He wasn't hitting his threes, but still driving in the hoop, got 30 points the hard way.

Also, he's an incredible rebounder. He doesn't get enough credit for that, and they need that with Chris stops out.

And he's an incredible playmaker. He gets double, triple-teamed every time. He's good at getting the rock to his teammates. Great Drew holiday game. First time, I feel like he really showed up big in the playoffs. You can definitely notice how different the defense is without Porzingas. Getting him back, they're going to need him back fully healthy.

He could be back next game, right?

Yeah, we're at this several.

Yeah, they should save him till next series. It's not necessary, but in the beginning of the game, when Horford is the biggest guy in the lineup, it's a different defense.

What if the Cavs win the next one? At that point, are you Get Chris stops back?

Yeah, you might start having those conversations.

You might start having those conversations.

If he's fully healthy.

You might?

The proverbial you. You. We.

Yes. Okay, I got it. I have a question for you about the Celtics. Are the Celtics going to go an entire play? Let's say they go to the finals. I think they'll be in the finals. We don't know what's going to happen in the finals. But will they be the first team to ever get to the finals without playing a single, memorable playoff game? It's crazy. Every game is either they kick the shit out of the opponent, and their two losses are they got the shit kicked out of them. They haven't played in one big fourth quarter moment yet. And that's not a knock on them because they're really, really good. I Plus that, they had a 20-point lead in 52% of their games this year. So it's not their fault that they're just better than everyone, especially in the East. But isn't it crazy? I know you're watching it differently, but every single game they've played so far in the playoffs have just been laughers one way or the other. I mean, it's only two losses, but that's just what it's been.

Yeah, I feel like there's probably a Warriors, maybe the Warriors runs, but even the losses were to be closer because that's been the two weird losses and the smallouts. It's been weird, right. But then they dominated every other game. Right.

So, Big Cat, I have a question for you. If you were a Celtics fan... Actually, Max, I have a question for you. Oh, yeah. Max. Massachusetts? Max. As a Celtics fan, Would you be concerned at all going into the finals if you haven't played any close games because you don't know how to win close games?

No. You want me to apologize for beating the shit out of teams?

Let's go, Max. Or getting the shit kicked out of you by teams?

That's fine. You want me to apologize for winning? People lose games. Teams lose games. I'll let the West go battle it out game by game. We just keep winning over here in Boston.

Fuck it. I love that. Max is really fucking good at being in Boston.

Yeah, he's really good. He's from Massachusetts. Yeah, no, it's not even a knock on the Celtics. They just haven't... The next Sixers series was like, every single game was a war. Even the next Pacers, obviously today wasn't. But there's been some memorable games in these playoffs, and Celtics have just not been part of any of them.

Because they're just so much better.

They're so much better, right. It's not their fault. The two losses are weird, two losses where they got the shit kicked out of them. So you think that would you be... I guess it doesn't matter. But it's weird to think they could get to the-Oh, I don't care.

It doesn't matter at all. Right. At all. It doesn't matter. They'll smoke whoever wins the Knicks Pacers.

Would you rather beat the Knicks or the Pacers? The Knicks.

So you want You want the Knicks.

You want the Knicks. Are you saying that because the Knicks have two people left?

No, I just love beating New York, little brother. Pacers, though, a little revenge for the-Inseason?

Inseason tournament. Yeah, we could forget. But if you played the Knicks, then you'd also get to do the double duty of after you beat them, be like, Here come the excuses. You're already doing that ahead of time where it's like, I want to play the Knicks because they will make excuses for not having any players, which, by the way, that's a legitimate excuse, I think, if you're the Knicks. If all of your players are injured, but then you get to- But it's like a car that he just doesn't change the oil.

You just roll the tires out and he's rolling on the rims, and he's like, All right, let's just keep going. I got another 20 miles in this thing.

He wanted to keep his starters in the fourth quarter, too. He felt like it tonight.

As long as I've known Big Cat was when the Thibs was the Bulls' coach, and he's always said it, but he just runs people out.

This is the discussion now with the Knicks, and I don't know if you guys saw, but I waded in the fact that it's just you can look at this however you want to look at it because Tibbs does run his guys very hard. I know that no Knicks, I think, were in the top 10 in minutes played this season, so he maybe has figured it out a little bit. But they're gassed right now, and they're gassed because they have injuries, so it's like a chicken and an egg. I don't think that he specifically has caused this situation situation that the Knicks are in where it's like Julius Randall hurt his shoulder on a like Hyme Hauke's play, which was weird. Ogie's always hurt, and he was traded halfway through the season, so he didn't even get the full Tibbs treatment. Brunson, you could say he was 14th in minutes, and he's clearly not 100%. He doesn't seem like he has the same burst in the last couple of games.

But you have to play him.

But you have to play him. And then Josh Hart, yeah, he's been played to death, and he looks gassed. But again, he has no one else to play. In a weird way, yes, Tibbs does do that. He plays his guys really hard, and he always is playing in the middle of February. He's like, You guys got to go as hard as possible. But I think this one situation, it's just fluke injuries, and I don't know if you can blame him 100% for this.

If it's a shoulder, that stuff happens. People get hurt.

I think Bogdan had a wrist already when he showed up. I don't know which I get. Then Mitchell Robinson is injury prone, too. So I don't know. It's crazy not to say... Nicks fans who would say, Tibbs is completely blameless in all of this, that's nuts. He does play his guys hard. I don't think that he caused these injuries this time.

It was the Warriors, right? Where they had all those injuries in the NBA Finals that one year. Yeah. And Clay and Kevin Durant.

Yeah, Clay and KD.

Nobody was like, Steve Kerr treats these guys like shit.

Yeah, it's like those guys played a shitload of extra games every single year, and their summer didn't start for an extra three months because they went to the finals. It sucks to watch the Knicks run out of gas. I don't know. Maybe the Mecca is the great equalizer because it does feel... What was that? Did you have your phone still open?

I'm sorry. No, my bad.

I just think it's funny that we asked Hank to pull up a random porn video, and he went straight to Brazilian fart porn.

We also should give credit to the Pacers because the Pacers played great. That three on Friday night from Nemhardt was incredible. That was a total, don't shoot, don't shoot, don't shoot. Holy fuck. He shot it and it went in.

In the first quarter. That first quarter, you're right, probably doesn't happen at the Mecca. But it happened. It happened today. And- And T. J. Mcdonald, by the way. So fun to watch.

Play him.

I got a quote from... I think it's from Heart. He said, T. J. Mcdonald is annoying little shit. Love it. But he said it in an endearing way. He's like, I think that's how people talk about me, too. I I love watching this guy play. But it's- He should make T-shirts with his face. It just says annoying little shit.

It does feel like the Pacers are the worst team right now for the Knicks to just lose everyone because they push the pace, they're young, and they do have depth. They deserve a lot. They could not miss today, and they held serve at home. I don't think they've lost a home playoff game. They're fun to watch. They're young and they're fun.

They score.

They score. They score again.

They're He's playing good defense, too. Again, I don't know how much of that is the Knicks just not having anybody to play basketball, but they traditionally don't play defense. Now they're playing a little.

I think that Jelen Brunson is one of those guys that will just never admit that he's hurt, even though he's clearly hurt. He even said after the game, he asked if he has less burst, and he said, I'm fine. When you got to say, I'm fine, twice, you're just the, I'm fine, dog in the burning house. This is fine. But Jelen Brunson will never make an excuse. He kept on saying that. He's like, Why would I say that we're shorthanded? We just lost.

You know who really lost today? Actually, not the Knicks, it was Vilanova. Vilanova took a bad L today, all their guys.

Yeah. Dante DiVincenzo was incredible on Friday night. Wasn't able to do it. They looked tired. They looked very, very tired. That is partially Tibbs. But again, I don't think the injuries were like... I don't think you can point to all of them. Then people will bring up Derek Rose. I got a bunch of those replies. I'm not saying Derek Rose was going to get He shouldn't have been in the game that he got injured, the first ACL injury. Derek Rose was going to... His body was not able to handle the NBA.

A smaller guy playing very physically.

He had ankle injuries before he got to the NBA. It sucks. It sucks that it happened that way. But I don't think Tibbs was the reason why Derek Rose had injuries.

But counterpoint's a fun narrative.

Well, he shouldn't have been in the game. That was the part. It was against the Sixers in that first round matchup, and he was in the game. We were up like 20, and it was like, Why are you in the game? But if you ask me if If he wasn't in the game that specific time, would Derrick Rose just never tear his ACL? I would probably say that's a far fetch dream that you have.

Yeah, if you dig into the numbers, there's definitely some loophole. But I do like Hank simplifying it down to it's a car and he's not changing the oil.

No, he coaches hard. I'd rather have him as my coach than not. He's a fucking great coach, and he always has teams overachieving with guys that shouldn't be doing what they're doing. That's the story of this Knicks season. The only The only thing I'll say to Knicks fans that I don't like is them using Julius Randall as like, if we had Julius Randall, they fucking killed that guy last year, and he sucked. But remember, they ripped down his poster and they were like, Fuck him, get him out of here. He sucked in the playoff.

Yeah, he was very good. They're fans are bad fans.

I don't think they're bad fans, but you can't say, Oh, but if we had Julius Randall after last year when you're like, Get him off our team. They're fake fans. No, they're not. They're not fake fans.

They win one game. I like this. He's getting ready. Bingo, Maxi.

They're not fake fans. I think Nicks fans are some of the best fans.

Max, you think that this is like a badge of honor for the Sixers? You beat the Nicks up so bad that they're not even able to get to a next series?

Well, you hurt Mitchell and beat Hurt Mitchell. He was being a little bitch back here.

He was like, Oh, Julius Trina was hurt last year, so that's why.

He was playing the entire playoffs last year. But you hated him.

No, but nobody knew that he was hurt.

He was playing hurt. Then everybody was like, Oh, that's our guy. Okay, fine. That's a fair retort. Did they put the poster back up? Yeah. No.

Julius Randall is fine.

Julius Randall fucking blows.

We eat a beats lunch.

But we're giving excuses to people who are playing hurt?

We're not giving excuses. I love this.

We're saying that people found out that he was hurt. Okay, that's fair. That's a fair response. Nobody knew he was hurt.

And he'd like to tell everybody that he's hurt.

That's true. I love Max and Memes going. This is what to expect on April Fool's Day and part of my take next year. Max and Memes podcast.

Memes, you do I realized from the outside, looking in, it's like no fan base was meaner than they were to Julius Randall last year. And then to be like, Well, if we had Julius Randall. Yeah, no, everybody was mean. Very mean.

And then they found out that he was hurt, and they were like, Uh...

Did anyone issue a My Bad?

Full-page ad, maybe?

Yeah. Was there a, Whoops, sorry. We just moved on.

It's just, Oh, next season. Act like it didn't happen. You think he forgets that that happened? No, definitely not, but we just throw some dirt on It was like a story of his wife watching them rip down his statue or his poster. There should be one guy. Spike Lee should apologize to him.

Yeah, we need someone to apologize just so that everyone else can move on.

Because I guarantee you he has not moved on. No. In the back of his head. He's probably faking this playoff so that he doesn't give you little shits anymore joy in your life.

True. Memes?

No, he was doing so good before he got hurt, too.

Yeah, because he wanted to break your heart. He was, but then that's not playoff.

He wanted to give you all the hope because you treated him so badly last year. No, he's fine. He loves New York.

I don't know. There's going to be, I mean, Hank calling Nicks fans fake-Fake fans?

Say what you want about Nicks fans, but they're legit fans. They don't abandon the team in years of sadness.

The mecca still sells out when they've sucked. I think Hank's just looking at Rico and just being like, all Nicks fans are Nicks. He's a fan of himself.

No, I know. Rico's a real Knicks fan. That's not what I thought.

He's the only one.

But there's plenty of people that just hop on, Oh, we're in the playoff.

Every team that does well has a bandwagon. That's sports. I don't know. I think it's more than- I've been to the Mecca for Celtics games when the Knicks sucked, and it was 50% Celtics fans. I don't know. I think New York is a true, true basketball city. When they're good, you obviously see it more boisterous, but those are real basketball fans.

Yeah, maybe it's not real Knicks fans.

Got it.

I love it. It's probably not going to happen, but I want Knicks Celtics just to see how much Hank pisses off the entire city.

It's good.

It's what he does best.

Get it going. Okay, should we talk some hockey? Hank, the Bruins have just gotten beat up with some cheap shots. A lot of cheap shots.

They're the star players.

That one, NHL, isn't doing anything. Wait, but we got to give credit to who's the guy who cheap shot it? No. I will not say his name. No, no, no. Here's why I got to give him credit. It took 17 slow-mo, alternate angle shots for people to fully see the fact that he punched Marshawn. He did a really good job with that.

It was a great cheap shot to the point we had to wait for the alternate angle to come out, which was, I think, the next day. We didn't get the actual angle of him throwing the punch until later. All we saw was the glove emerging from behind his body. So if he fooled high definition 75-inch plasma TVs, he definitely fooled the refs that were watching that happen in real-time. So he got away with it. He definitely punched him in the face. Now, there were a lot of people that were throwing around retaliatory clips, response clips online to all the Bruins fans that were complaining that showed Marshawn punching people in the face with a gloved hand from earlier in the series. So I think Marshawn would probably do something like this, too, but he was just on… There was also another hit that he had at the end of the game where Marshawn dove headfirst into somebody else's head, and they made head-to-head contact, which also might have been the reason why he was out today with a concussion. So it might not have been from that cheap shot, although he was definitely concussed, but they brought him back in the game afterwards.

Yeah, absolute cheap shot. And then- But you have to admit, I agree it was a cheap shot.

He sucker-punched him. But in terms of cheap shots, he did such a good job of hiding the sucker punch that we weren't able to figure it out for a while.

I don't know. Something was fishy with the NHL and this Panthers team. I can't put my finger on it. I don't understand why. But that happened, and it's like, why does it take the next day for the camera angle to come out? Because it existed. They probably had it. Toronto probably had it in real-time. They didn't suspend them, which is crazy. Then today, same guy cross-checked Charlie Coyle into Swayman, so he couldn't block the shot and then hit a goal in. Clear as day goalie interference. I'm not a hockey head, but-They reviewed it. He cross-checked a guy into the goalie, which interfered from the goalie being able to save the goal, and they didn't call it. And then the Bruins challenged it, lost the challenge, so they came back on a power play, and it was like the Bruins didn't have a shot for the next seven minutes, it felt like.

I didn't watch the game on Friday night. I just saw a bunch of people tweeting from our own company being like, Why is the crowd so silent?

I thought it was one or two tweets. I mean, it's lulls of a hockey game.

Bad sports, though.

I was just asking. Again, I did not watch the game, so I have no idea. It was rock. It was fake fans.

It was rocking a day.

Yeah, and the play-off, they get a bunch of fake fans, bandwagoners come in, don't know when to cheer. You don't see them throughout the regular season.

I'm a fake Bruins fan. I have no problem saying that. But the The people that are fans of the Bruins and go to the games are diehard, probably more than any other sport in Boston. There's the percentage of- That usually is the case for hockey. Fake fans versus diehards. The true Bruins fans are eat, live, breathe, die.

Would you say that that hit was... Would you say it's a dirty play?

The sucker punch? Yeah.

That's interesting because your own coach said that it wasn't dirty. He said it was outside the lines, but it wasn't dirty.

Outside the lines, but not dirty?

But not dirty.

Wait, so- I don't know what the difference is. So there's inside the lines play.

Yeah, it's normal hockey play. Normal hockey play. Good hockey play is what they say.

There's outside the lines, then there's dirty?

Then there's dirty afterwards.

And then is there anything after that? Scumbag?

I think after that, maybe scumbag move.

Dangerous.

Keepshot. Assault? Yeah. A horrifying act of violence would be next up after that.

Oh, wow. So this is a loophole. This is the new money ball for hockey. We to build a hockey team that knows how to play outside the lines but never dirty.

But not dirty. Yeah, just up to that line. Wow. You want to go right up to the line of playing outside the line. Yeah. Does that make sense?

We should actually do some research on this, and we should try some outside the lines plays on Hank, but never get dirty.

Not dirty.

We won't get dirty. And just see what happens. Yeah, see what happens. Oh, yeah.

You say see what happens, which is essentially the Bruin's response after that It was a legit cheap shot that was outside the lines. Then nothing really happened. No one really took a run at him.

There was some scuffling. I mean, what are you supposed to do? You're down in the series. You can't just be given up penalty minutes. They did take a couple of penalties that were clearly just rage hits, essentially.

Yeah, that one in the third period rocked.

I love Pat Maroon, by the way.

But they're down in the series. They got a scratch and cloth for everything they get. The NHL is trying to rig a Panthers, Rangers Eastern Conference finals.

They much rather have that than Bruins, Rangers.

It's sad.

What is that? What are they rigging that for?

I'm trying to figure it out.

Anti-original 6 bias. They wanted Huracan Panthers?

No, they want Panthers, Rangers. Okay.

But the Hurrican has won this weekend, so maybe they want Huracans, Panthers.

They got to get sales. Yeah, they want Huracan. Traditional hockey towns. Right. Raleigh.

Now, speaking of that series-Rangers fans, legit.

The Mecca, the Rangers games are popping.

Memes. Memes. You were out on a bachelor party this weekend, so you were not here on Thursday night. But one underrated part of this show is Memes: Hatred for Rangers Fans is actually maybe stronger than his love for any of his own teams. So where are you right now? Because they look awesome. I know they lost in overtime. Was it overtime? Yeah. Overtime on Saturday. Where are you?

I'm I got to point the... I said the Huracan.

It wasn't over time, I don't think. No, it wasn't over time. Yeah.

They won power play goal.

With three minutes left. Yes. I was watching and I forgot it.

Yeah, the Rangers is really good, but the Huracan's goalie is playing absolutely dog shit this entire series. So it's one of those. The Rangers are definitely good.

I don't think they're-So you're not worried?

I'll be worried if it's like-The Rangers are very good. 2-0 against the Panthers next series. That's where he level maximum.

The home ice advantage for them, though, is probably the best left in the play. Well, yeah, especially since the Coliseum is gone.

Wait, say that again.

You heard what I said. Hank said the Rangers have the best home ice advantage. I said, especially since the Coliseum's gone and you sold out.

No, the Canox is probably up there.

Okay, but what are you going to do if the Rangers win the Cup? They're not going to win the Cup. Okay. I want him there. That's a great place for us to have him. They're waiting for him to have him. They're waiting for him. I want him there. No, I'm saying I want him in a spot where he's basically saying to himself, there's zero % chance they can win the Cup. How could you say a team that's up 3-1 in the second round has a zero % chance to win the Cup?

They've got one of the best- They're sending them to the parade if they win.

Yeah, you have to cover that. One of the best goaltenders, they've got probably their best goal ever.

I like that. Sort of the pot. Okay, wait. So, Memes, why do you hate Rangers fans so much? They're just the worst.

They're just the same as Yankee fans. They just think they're the best of all time.

They've won one Stanley Cup in the last 100 years, and they just think they're the fucking shit. But they have won a Stanley Cup more recently than the Islanders.

Yeah, who cares? We won four in a row. I also love the idea of Memes walking past MSG and looking at it and one night being like, This is the best place on Earth. Then the next night, he walks past. He's I fucking hate this place. I mean, it's a basketball stadium. It's a Billy Joel Stadium.

Billy Joel and Nicks. I fucking hate the Rangers. Everybody on the Bachelor Party was a Rancher fan, so they were just all celebrating.

I was like, This sucks.

Sounds like fun.

The stars look good. Then now, the shocker of the play, we're watching it with what? Eight minutes left? The oilers look like they might lose this Oh, my God. Or two. There have been just so many. He's going to be painful. Are the Knux a team of Destiny?

So many close goals here. I don't know. Would we consider them team of Destiny right now?

The way Biz describes him last week when he was on was like, no one expected them to be here. They want a very tough division, and everyone's like, nice story, but they're not going to win at all. I think they might be team of Destiny.

I do love the crowd, too. Yeah.

The Knux have one of the scariest propositions in all sports that if they get to the final and don't win the Cup, they'll just burn their whole city down.

That's true. They've done it multiple times. Yeah, they love to tear that. Also, I was going to say, if they don't win the Cup, then they know that they're not going to get another chance at it for 15 years. Like Edmonton If they lose in the Stanley Cup this year, they're going to be like, this fucking blows. But we've got McDavid, we'll be back, good young players.

If the Oilers lose this round, that would be a big disappointment. Big disappointment. Yeah, so it looks like the Canucks might win this game. We'll update it as we go along in the show.

Hank, do you think there's any chance that the NHL leadership in Toronto is fucking the Bruins because you guys beat the Maple Leaps every year in the playoffs?

Potentially.

Look into that.

Yeah, I could see that.

Also, if that were the case. A little payback. Can they just have Toronto beat you guys in the playoffs every now and again? I'm trying to help you out. I'm trying to connect some dots for you.

Yeah, I mean, the NHL, if they were smart, if they were like the NBA, they would have had a Canadian Stanley Cup final at this point.

I just want one team.

It has to happen.

I want a team from Canada in the Cup.

It would be the greatest It would be the greatest. Yeah, I do not care. It's such a fun series. It doesn't matter what two teams.

Yeah, right now, I don't care who wins, but it would be nice to have a Canadian team in the Stanley Cup final this year.

Yeah, when's the last? Oh, I I guess the- 1990. No, last in it. The Canadians, right? Weren't they in the bubble? Didn't they lose to... I want to say the bubble. I want to say they lost to... This is going to test our hockey knowledge. Memes, you want to help me out here? No. Want to help me, Memes? Lightning. I think they lost the lightning, right? Yeah. In 2021. Maybe it was the year after the bubble.

Yeah, the bubble year.

It was a very forgettable one because the lightning smoked them. I feel like there were no fans. So that was also like Hockey with no fans might be... We got over football with no fans because it's still football, but Hockey with no fans feels so weird.

Wait, it was the Lightning and- The Canadians. They're both in the East, right?

Oh, yeah. But wasn't there... Yeah, I don't know, but I think they did a weird bubble thing, right?

Those are two Eastern teams. I know that. That is.

All right, we got to figure this out.

Because you think they just took away divisions because of...

I can't remember. Memes is looking it up. Stanley Cup Finals. We need a goal here. We need a goal here. This is bad. All right, here we go, boys. I'm going to find this. I'm going to find this. Someone said something. Yeah, it was. I remember it was weird. Yeah, because they did the pods. Remember they did the pods? Yeah. There was that weird system.

They had to finish out the play-up.

Yeah, it was this weird fucking- It was the Canadian shit.

The Canadian teams had a different- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, because they had different COVID restrictions, so they had to play in their own pods and then come. That's right. That's a weird... That's a question you'll get wrong in trivia.

God damn. That would have been so awesome, though, if they had won the bubble Championship through the Canadian pod, and then everybody would be like, Yeah, Canada won it. But it's really Mickey Mouse.

Yeah. Then, yeah, the Knucks when they burn the city down, when they lost to the Bruins. I'm looking right now, the senators played the Ducks in 2007, and the oilers lost to the hurricanes in '06. Yeah, they're fucking... Someone's got to win one from Canada. What's the problem, Hank?

Mrs.

Ice. Oh, Mrs. Ice. I know. I need a goal, too.

They've had five shots that should have been goals.

They have 40 shots.

Mrs. Ice can't lose, although it It's not on Mother's Day. Yeah, but it would also be perfect.

They're meant for each other. Mrs.

Ice lost on Mother's Day. By the way-I feel like we're getting a goal.

We have to. It's Mrs. Ice.

She can't lose this. Okay, let's do... Can we get Ernestine off the TV? She's been staring at her.

She's an industry plant. She's not real.

Put Damp Lips back up.

No, these are just more pictures of Ernestine.

What are you doing, Max?

Stop.

I thought you wanted more. I thought you wanted more. Put Sydney Sweeni up with it. Remember that time you just started searching for her? I wasn't searching for her. I was looking for things that were trending. You're bored. Okay, let's do Who's Back in the Week. It's brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. There are plenty of chances in life to make things better by choosing chill. Grab every opportunity to choose Chill, then reach for refreshing Coors Light. By the way, our hockey knowledge, we nailed that.

Which one?

The Canadian versus the light. We got self-conscious for a second, then we got it.

I was just confused, and it was like, Wait, how in the world? Yeah, no, but we did it. I think we all put a lot of that year out of our brain. Correct.

By the way, Coors Light. Guess what? The ice you're watching right now, that's as cold as the Coors Light beers. When you crack open a Coors Light. It's cold lager, cold-filtered, cold package for a smoother finish. When you embrace a chill mindset, it's a good time to choose chill and crack open a Coors Light. Coors Light is mountain cold, refreshing, crisp, and refreshing as a Colorado Rockies. Make the most out of the times you choose to chill. Choose Coors Light. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to coorslight. Com/take. Celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Coorslight. Com/take. Go check it out. The most delicious beer in the world, corselight. Com/take. Max, what did you do now? This is just something else that people are talking about.

This is a Who's Back of the Week also. What is it? What is it?

Is it somebody's Who's Back?

No, but we can talk about it. Is this your Who's Back, Max?

Yeah, Max, your Who's Back is the sitting up meme?

No, it's Roaring Kitty.

Roaring Kitty. What is that? That's the GameStop guy. Oh.

He's deep fucking value. He's the guy that wore the red bandana. You remember the movie Dumb Money? Yes. That was, by the way. That was in it.

First tweet since 2021.

Dumb Money and the Patriots documentary, two instances in the last three months where I've watched something on TV, and I'm just taking a break from work for a little bit, and then Dave Portman's face comes in.

Yeah, it pops up. And Johnny Manzell.

Yeah, true. So, yeah, he's back online now. Oh, shit. He's being some weird shit about to go down.

I want in this time.

Yeah, what's he telling people to buy a buy?

There's no context or anything. It's just this meme. So no one really knows. I'm going to retweet it.

Yeah.

I'm going to buy it, and then I'm going to hold it.

I'm going to retreat it with the eyeballs.

I might even start holding it before I buy it.

So this guy is the guy who did the GameStop stuff, which I've never had more FOMO because I'm just convinced as a lifelong loser, if I don't get it the minute it happens, I'm the guy who's going to jump on and then lose everything. But I sat and watched for weeks where it just kept on going up. I was like, God damn it.

Is that back up? I don't know. Because I still have some.

I really want to be in on this one. I really want to nail this one.

Yeah. Now, that looks like it's still down. Yeah, it's still down.

Okay, but we're back. Stonks. I'm putting on alerts for Roaring Kitty. Who's back? Stonks. He's going to tell us what to do. Does he just say what to do? Is this like the tunnel of chaos?

He says, I like the stock. If he likes the stock, then it's good stock.

Can I DM Roaring Kitty right now and be like, Hey, Mr. Roaring Kitty, I'd like to win 20,000. Done.

Yeah, I'll make it happen. Yeah.

Okay, we're back.

Get him on the show.

We got to all get in. Yeah, I got to talk to my guy and get more information.

Do you just mean Jack Mac? Greer. Okay. Yeah.

We got our top guys on it, top minds on it.

Rory and Katie, come on part of my take. Yeah, please.

Hank, who's your who's back?

Who's back of the week is Rory.

Yeah.

What do you do?

He dominated Quail Hollow, won the-Welles Fargo?welles Fargo.

Shout out Jake. Did a great job.

Jake Marsh was on the call. Max played well, finished eighth. Had an eagle in the first hole. Jake called it. That was a great moment. Yeah. Touching stuff.

Jake doing bing bong maxi for Max Homo was awesome. Yeah. It was great.

But Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the Championship right before a major. Then everyone talks about him. It's a major week. Rory's back. He's going to win a major, and then he misses the cut.

So who's back? Rory fooling us about him being back. Yeah.

Scott Scottie Sheffer still hasn't had his baby.

He has had his baby.

Scottie Sheffer had his baby. Congratulations.

He had his baby right before Mother's Day?

I'm pretty sure. I saw a tweet that was like, It's not out there official, but he's on the...

Did you just violate HIPAA?

No, he's doing media stuff at Valhalla. With his baby? No, but I'm pretty sure it's confirmed.

Following birth of child. All right, congratulations. When did that baby happen? Eric shared the news Saturday afternoon, so he just had his baby.

Congratulations. Yeah, this is nothing beneficial. That's how I saw it.

Okay, so congratulations on the baby. Yeah, he's going to... I mean, my son turned one today. That was Mother's Day. Sucks. I have the same thing with my first son. Two years ago was Father's Day. Sucks. He just got robbed of your day.

Swagger jacked big time. By a baby.

By a fucking baby.

Charlotte Stingray still has not given birth.

My kids did not. My My older kids did not understand the concept that the presents were not for them. They're like, But the baby can't open the presents. And they had a good point because I sat him on the present and I tried to show him how to rip the wrapping paper didn't do anything. Then my other two kids were like, See, we told you. Then they opened all his presents.

Your daughter's like, Is this Chucky Cheese? It was a master class by them.

They dominated me on that.

I've never understood that meme with the guy that's holding out his hand for the butterfly and he says, Is this something? You know what I'm talking about? But it seems like that's your daughter with everything. Is this Chucky Cheese? Is this Chucky Cheese?

Did you see an update on Chucky Cheese? They're getting rid of the original Chucky Cheese mascot in almost all their locations. What? Yeah. Why? The scary one. The super scary rat. Yeah, the rat. No, I think they're just phasing it out. Maybe sign that they're going out of business, that I got to get there and do my part and keep Chuckie. I might hold Chuckie Cheese. Look at this. Chuckie Cheese animatronic band will be phased out by the end of this It is scary.

You know what this means, though? This means that they're going to have to get rid of the actual mascot, meaning that there are going to be hundreds of these animatronic scary mascots to purchase. We got to buy one.

We have to buy one. We need one of these.

Yeah, we need one of the Charles Entertainment cheese masks.

I will get back in my auction phase. I had one briefly where I was just trying to buy stuff when Dominic's an old grocery store in Chicago was going out of business, trying to buy like, carts and stuff. We got to this. If someone wants to gift us one, great. Otherwise, we'll do it the old-fashioned way and we'll figure out a way to get it. We need one in the office. We need one when you walk in the office because then…

It's Chucky Cheese. Then you can tell my dad's Chucky Cheese.

Every fucking time we come here, we come here almost every week, it's Chuck E. Cheese.

That's a problem solved right there. Yep.

All right. Wojia is back. Oh, Rory. That was like one of those always sunny skits where we zoom out. We're like, Oh, Hank, you're still here?

Rory is back. He won the Wells Fargo. Jake, Matt,Ax.

Scotty Scheffler had a baby. Scotty Scheffler.

Scotty Scheffler won his last start before a PGA Championship. Rory won his last start. Brooks won his last start.

Oh, the big three.

Okay.

Storylines.

I'm excited to bet it.

Where Where's the PGA?

Valhalla.

Okay.

Love it.

Let's get some fucking wagers going.

I don't know.

What?

I was thinking about reloading on the live thing, but probably not.

Yeah, you got to take the baby bump, right? You're going to feel like an idiot if you bet against Scotty.

Oh, my God. They missed an open netter.

This is Ice.

This is the worst. This is Ice's two minutes for glory.It's.

On Mother's Day.It's.

On Mother's Day. Is Mrs. Ice watching intently on a laptop? Has to be.

It has to be. It has to be.

She rips her shirt off afterwards.

All right, so who's your pick to win?

Brooks. Okay.

Smart. Good man. We'll do some golf stuff this week. We'll figure out. We'll get some... I like that they got the PGA Championship earlier, but it always does sneak up on me because remember how it used to be PGA Championship was last and no one would care? They're like, Fuck it, we're going to hop the line. Oh, what's the goal? Oh, Ms. Ice. That's a good goal. Ms. Ice, she did it. Let's go. Ms. Ice, what a fucking goal. All right, PFT, your who's back.

My who's back of the week is horse racing because it is this week where-We will have Randy on. We're going to have Randy on Mystic Dang, going for the second leg of it. We talked a little bit about Secretariat on Friday's show and about how Jason Kelsey thinks, Oh, he's retracted his this horse did steroids take, and then horse people went after him. On Friday, I had a little bit of time on my hands. I got on a flight. I was on my way to New York, and I just thought, let me just do some research about a good old Secretariat or a good friend's Secretariat, see if these claims against him have any merit to them. A couple of things. Horses, when they're elite like Secretariat, they typically go on to have fruitful children, right? Yeah. Their come is worth millions of dollars. Yeah. Secretariat had 663 children. I don't know what you call them. He had 663 ponies.

That's a fucking lot of child support.

Well, no, he's actually a deadbeat dad. Okay. And one of his daughters was just found in the woods somewhere, and they had to rescue her, and then now she's still alive. Jesus Christ. She's almost dead, but she got rescued, and she had to be adopted by a foster agency because Secretary is such a piece of shit. Anyways, he had 663 children. Guess how many of his kids won a Triple Crown race? Out of 663. He was probably being bred to the fastest female horse.

I don't want to say zero to ruin this for you. I want to say five. Zero.

The answer is zero of them.

One of them-That's me for not saying zero. Actually, that's wrong.

One. Okay. The answer is one. I said five. Yeah, you said five. One of them won two legs, not the Kentucky Derby, and then one came in second place in the derby. Got it. So his genes, not that strong. Some people will be like, Oh, but down the line, if you follow the trail enough, then you'll see that his grandkids, grandkids had won some derbies. Yeah, question, big question.

Question. Do the steroids his secretary so clearly took during his horse racing time Do they carry in his semen?

No. Oh. They don't. Isn't that interesting? It's very interesting to me. Did you know that Secretariat, his legendary time at the Preakness, obviously, the Belmont was the one that he won by 16 links. The race that he won at the Preakness, it's one of the track records. It was at the time. It actually got lowered 40 years after he ran in that race. They went back seven years ago. In a fast? There was a secret committee that met in Maryland, went back and reduced his time by a second and a half. They met in secret, and they changed his times way after the fact. That's bullshit.

This is also part of what Jason Kelsey was saying was like, We have gotten faster, bigger, stronger in everything, but not horse racing.

Jason Kelsey was talking about his heart, mostly.

Yeah, but he was saying that part, too.

I was making the point that every mild time has... Like, mild times have gradually gotten better over the years. Yeah. 100 meter dashes, two meter dashes.

Yeah, he said something like this, too. Every sport has gotten better except horse racing.

I went back and I looked at the records, and yes, he still does hold that time at the Belmont, and he holds that time at the Kentucky Derby. That's an anomaly in horse racing. Most of them have been improved upon since then. Not Secretariat's time. Not Secretariat's time. This is the other thing about Secretariat. I found out that A bunch of people would buy winning tickets for Secretariat. They would bet on them, and then they wouldn't cash in the ticket later because they wanted to have the... It was a bunch of Darren Ravell's going out, a bunch of these.

Ricky Henderson?

Ricky, yeah, essentially.

You remember when he got paid a million dollars for his first contract and framed it?

Yep. He also lost a bunch of races. This is what we don't talk about with Secretariat. We only talk about the wins with this fraud. He lost, I think, three or four times, and they had an excuse ready after every single loss. One time, they were like, Oh, he has an abscess in his He had herpes. He had horse herpes, and they blamed his loss on that. One time, he had uncontrollable diarrhea. Another time, they just tried to blame a horse for bumping him too hard and tried to get that horse disqualified. There's a lot of stuff with Secretariat that The more we look at it, the more questions need to be asked about Old Secretariat.

Okay, so this is great because we can now say, I think we should as a podcast, we should say Flight Line is our goat. Yes. Flightline is a horse that won the Breeders Cup Two years ago, I was at it. Flight Line was injured as a three-year-old, so wasn't able to race the Kentucky Derby. He raced six times, and he just killed everyone.

So he never lost? Never lost. Secretary lost a bunch.

Also, it's a great one because people will be like, when people ask us who our goat is, the casual fans will say Secretariat or maybe even American Pharaoh will say someone who didn't even race in the Triple Crown Flight Line. He was an incredible of a horse.

Or we could go old school with it and say Man O'War. Yeah. Man o'War is a great horse. It's sad because Man o'Wars, all his accomplishments are overshadowed by a horse that's having seconds taken off his time like 35, 40 years after he ran the fucking race. I think we can all agree it's bullshit. Again, I think Jason Kelsi was on the right track, and I can't wait to ask Randy Moss what his thoughts on his thoughts on Secretary being a fraud were.

Yeah, and we got to use this as a way to get Jason Kelsi on who Who has recently followed Max Delante?

Nice work, Max. Play cool, play cool.

Yeah, it's not a big deal.

Are you second-guessing every time you send a tweet? Like, what if Jason sees us?

Do you think he followed because of what we said?

No, it was definitely not a sympathy follow.

You think it was just Sure not. That loves your vibe?

Yeah.

I will say this- It has nothing to do with this podcast.

I'll say this about Max. Guys love Max.

Guys do love Max.

Dudes are fucking in love with Max. And I fucking love dudes.

One thing about Max, guys fucking love him. I I fucking love it.

Yeah.

All right, so I'm going with Flight Line. I watched him at the Breeders Club Classic. He killed everyone. Like nine lengths.

Yeah, Flight Line is a good one.

And that's the best horses in the world.

Man of war, though.

All right, We'll ask Randy. Okay.

We'll say, who's your goat?

I just like picking a horse that didn't race in the Triple Crown because everyone's like, who's Flight Line?

Dude, you don't know. Are you kidding me? You don't know a horse.

Also, selfishly, I saw him in person and I was wowed. Okay, I like this. It's going to be great to have Randy on. We should use this to try to get Jason Kelsi on. No podcast is defending you more than this.

No. The more you look into Secretariat, the more it stinks to high heaven. Also, at the time when he was winning all these races, people were writing about what a welcome escape this was to distract, literally in Sports Illustrated, which was a good magazine at the time, said, People are enthralled and we're so happy with Secretariat because he's distracting us from the Vietnam War and Watergate.

It's a Helen Keller situation. Yeah.

Was Secretariat even real?

Wait, Secretariat was mute?

No, it's superhuman. Superhuman.

Larger than life. This would be great story arc if we got Jason Kelsey. We did an investigation with him, and we ended up having to go to a farm and watch Horse as Fuck. We were sitting there watching PnV with the Kelsey.

That would be really nice. That would be nice.

Let's finish this We are great. That's a great who's back. All right, my who's back is a simple one. It's the Detroit Pistons picking fifth in the draft. We had the lottery on Sunday.

Weird time for it or no?

I think it was a weird time. They usually used to do it on a Tuesday night, a halftime of one of the games. I think maybe because this draft doesn't really have anyone of note. Although I was talking to someone, they said that this draft doesn't have, obviously, a Wembenyam or a Zion Williamson, but they're like, There's some really good players. It's just you're basically taking a guess 1-14. One or two of these guys are going to end up being incredible, but they could be the 10th pick, not the first pick.

It feels like the safe bets are guys like Clinging is a safe bet.

So I'm working out. Don't know if he's going to- Worked out in this office yesterday.

Don't know if he's going to be a superstar, but he's probably going to be a good NBA player, and then that's pretty much the safest pick. Then Duke, the guard, shit. His name is Jerram. He's from Fairfax. Yeah.

But the Pistons. I feel bad for Pistons fans. The Detroit Pistons. Now, this draft is a weird draft. We said, there's not a surefire franchise player, which makes it even funnier that the Hawks won it. That's very Atlanta sports to have a 3% chance to win this draft, and they did. You used all your luck on this draft. But the Pistons, two years ago, the Pistons won 23 games. They were third worst in the league. They got the fifth pick. Last year, the Pistons won 17 games, worst in the league, fifth pick. This year, they won 14 games, worst in the league, fifth pick. That's insane. Yeah, it's crazy. That seems like a sick joke against the Pistons.

I feel bad. But again, like you said, this draft is a crapshoot. You could get a good player. You might end up getting one of the ones that develops into being a great player.

But the fact that it's happened again, you should try winning more games.

Yeah, try winning more games. Also in DC sports, this is the third team that has the second overall pick.

Yeah, I saw that. I was rooting for you to get the first pick.

Yeah, me too. Well, last year, it was like at the end, it became a coin flip between us and the Spurs because the way the numbers shook out. That would have been the nice one to get. But we've taken two LSU players. We took one in baseball and then Jane Daniels, obviously, in football. I don't think there's anyone from LSU that's projected to go that high. But we can fuck it. Let's just do it anyways.

By the way, talking baseball, Paul Skine did make his debut against my Cubs. I feel like he had the perfect, awesome prospect debut where he pitched, I think it was four innings, three earned runs, and seven strikeouts. I feel like that means he's going to be really good.

The first two batters, you were like, Oh, my God, this guy's going to be the best pitcher who ever played.

Then it's like, All right, well, he's going to have to learn how to pitch. They're on a load management, but also he's going to have to learn how to be craftier, but holy shit, can he pitch?

Are you saying that the Wizards should draft Livy Yes. Yeah, that would fit.

A reporter did say that although Paul Skine's only lasted four innings, Livy Dun, whole game. Oh, she stuck the whole game. She's a good sportsman. Complete game. She's a good sportsman. Yeah, complete game from Livy Dun. All right, let's get to our interviews. We got great interviews. We got Julian Edelman and Blake Bortles, and then we'll finish with Embrace the Bate and a Twist on the Lottery Ball Machine.

Julian Edelman has been brought to you by our great friends over at Game Time. We love Game Time. You can get tickets to any game. You can get tickets to baseball. Base is happening. I'm going to go to a National's White Sox game this week. I'm going to use game time for that. You can find tickets to Cubs games, Dodgers games, Mets games, Braves games, all of them. Easy to find on game time. With Game Time, they're the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. Game time is the fast and easy way for you to buy tickets to all the sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discounts. Hank, can you look up how much it would cost to get into Nats, White Sox, Wednesday, Day Game? Yeah. How much would Game Time? Basically, it's going to be ridiculous, though. It's going to be Super cheap. And Game Time is the best way to find these tickets. Two dollars. Two dollars. I'm going to use Game Time to get in. And with Game Time, you can find tickets, comedy, theater, music, sports, you name it.

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Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest, very, very good friend, Julian Edelman. You're shaking. You're shaking.

Yeah, because I'm trying to get... I have an awkward arm angle, and I'm using my phone, and I'm watching games. I'm trying to navigate both.

Just put it on the coffee table. Just rest it up against something on the coffee table. You probably got a spitter.

Then you might see my balls because I'm wearing some really short shorts.

Oh, there we go. All right, this is perfect. All right, so Jules is on. We should have had you on right after the roast. Obviously, you were partying after the roast, but we still wanted to have you on. We also need to have you on because we need some tips on podcasting because you momentarily for a day, took over the one spot and made everyone aware of it. So congrats on that.

Thank you. Thank you, guys. Just trying to follow in the founding fathers that helped me put me in this situation, you guys. I mean, you guys probably on your show, and we're going to take that data, and we're going to try to learn from it, make our show completely better every single day. It's just a starting point.

It's actually funny because I remember three or four years ago, you're like, Hey, can we get your entire subscribers list? And we gave it to you. Now it all makes sense. They just did it that way. No, but Gains' name's awesome. It's actually incredible what you've grown it into because I watch it all the time. Your Ernie Adams interview was incredible, and it feels like a very- The iron shirt? I'm I'm going to give you a genuine compliment. It's hard, I think, right now. We've gotten very lucky because we started a podcast before everyone had a podcast. It's hard to hop into the podcast game right now and be unique, and you've done that, and that's a credit to you.

I appreciate it. That means a lot, really, coming from you guys. It's been fun. We just did this thing. We weren't trying to do anything, but it's been fun to get to learn how to ask questions when you watch guys' shows I listen to you guys all the time. I listen to other people in the industry, the McAfee's and the Colin Cowers, and see how people deliver information and how they deliver them, their knowledge. It's been fun I would be able to work that. I've seen it help me with TV and stuff. It's been a fun creative outlet.

You did it without dating the most famous woman in the world. So congratulations. No shortcuts for you.

Facts. Bax. Bax. Yeah, you still could. All right, so we have a bunch of questions, but let's start with the roast. You did incredible. I told you no pressure before because I wanted you to feel the pressure because we were expecting a lot out of you. We had you as one of the highest ranked non-comedians. You did a great job. What was it like, though, the entire event, being there? And more than anything, what was it like sitting next to Gronk? Because we... How many of Gronk's jokes did he get? How many did he understand? It felt like he didn't understand anything.

First off, yeah, he called me the night before. Was it the night before?

The night before, yeah.

Did I give you any of my jokes? Did I run anybody?

You didn't, but you were like, I was like, Listen, you have to perform because if you don't, we expect a lot out of you. And you delivered big time.

No, it was super nerve-wracking to do this whole thing because you're jumping in. And you guys are good funny speakers, and you guys have been in that world. I'm still new to this stuff. So when you're sharing a stage like Kevin Hart, Jeff Ross, and the Nicky, you can see how professional they are. So the whole night, I was watching telepronters and stuff, seeing how Ron Burgerty came out and he didn't say anything on his telepronter. And then he get back into it. I was watching the behind the scenes stuff. So I was super nervous for this whole thing. Went and performed at the Comedy Store the Thursday before with Jeff Ross, which was awesome to get that rep because I never really told jokes on a stage, which is completely different than doing a Q&A or speaking at a motivational thing. I've done those public speakings. When you have to go out and actually execute something while you're doing that, to try to get a laugh, it's hard. I was super nervous at the store. I was shaking, telling my jokes. Thankfully, there was a group I had like 15 frat boys that knew exactly who I was.

They were like athlete fans, you could tell. So I got some laughs and you could see where you could pause the joke and not pause the joke. So it was cool to get that rep. And then when we got the night before, Now you're in the green room, and our green room was me, Randy, Gronk, and Coach. And everyone's like... We were all... It was like before a game, Guys were sitting there in corners, practicing their jokes and stuff. It was fun. And then go out and do it. And then you had to judge, I can't drink really before my jokes because I don't want to get too sloppy up there and something. Then after you start drinking, it was fun. It was a fun night. It was good to see a lot of people in that building. You guys know what I'm talking about, Kraft, Bill, and Tom all in the building. Never thought I'd see that again.

Yeah, it was cool to see. You should have Wes Walker gone up right before you, and then halfway through his set, just pulled him off stage, be like, I got this West. Just taking over for him. He probably wouldn't like that, though. Yeah, we did have you very high. We thought Drew Bledso did a good job, too.

He was like- A great way to open it.

Yeah.

That's got to be some pressure. He's a great sport. That's got to be such a crazy- Yeah.

It's a good dynamic. It's like this guy is responsible for your career going absolutely sideways when you thought it was going to go perfectly. Then you have to show up and make fun of him for being so much better than you. But he did a really good job. I thought he was surprisingly good. He opened the gates. Yeah, absolutely. About Gronk. So Grunt gets up. We can all agree Grunt killed it, right? Yeah, he crushed it. Grunt killed it. It's okay to say gay again. I think that's five of Grunt's jokes were like, Jules is here. He's gay. Tom braided, you're so gay.

Remember that time Tom fucked Bill Belichick from Tampa with a 1,300-mile cock? Yeah.

And then I shoved it, I think, right?

Yeah, that was going to be my question. So when Tom braided fucked Bill Belichick with a 1,300-mile cock, and then you sucked it and lube it up the entire way from Tampa to Boston. It was in your mouth. Is that true?

No, that wasn't true. That was a good joke. That was a pigment of his imagination. Now, getting back to Gronk and watching, because like I said, you could see where the prompter and the jokes and stuff. I'm sitting there watching Gronk. He's starting, he's doing his bit. And then all of a sudden, he just starts going off his dome. He improbed, I want to say, half of this stuff. I was like, Oh, get back. And then he got back onto it. It was so funny. I mean, it was Gronk.

Yeah, it was Gronk through and through. Absolutely. All right, so were you surprised no one roaster you for steroids?

I I was. I was. I was, too.

I was like, if I were up there, I would say that would be the first thing I'd do.

I thought everything was on the door. When Kevin Hart opens up with a Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor, I thought we were just fucking, oh, floodgains open. Yeah.

So when that was one of the first jokes, Were you like, Oh, shit, we are really saying everything? Or did you guys think that there were going to be boundaries that worked well?

It made me feel so good that, All right, he went there, so I guess mine is not going to be that bad. You know what I mean? It was actually a great teammate play by Kevin Hart because he set the stage where he knew we were nervous about saying certain things. So he hits him to let him know this is what it's going to be.

In a weird way, you probably escaped the best out of everyone because the meanest joke anyone said about you was like, you're obsessed with Tom braided, which is like, I don't know, there's millions of men out there who they could say that about. So it's like, okay, yeah, I want to be him. Yeah.

I don't know if I want be him, but why would you ever bite the hand that fed you, bro?

Yeah. You want to be inside.

I live in Brentwood because of Tom braided.

Yeah.

He's shadowing him. I'm not afraid to say it. It's a quarterback league. You're a dependent person when you're a receiver.

Yeah. It's smart of you to own it like that. Absolutely. So the whole situation with Bob Kraft, Bill, Tom, all there together at once. It seemed awkward when Bob came out on stage. Bill didn't really want to be taking a shot. He had to be talked into it. Did anybody hang out and talk afterwards, or did they go their separate ways? What was that like seeing all them together if they hung out later?

It was pretty political. You guys know how that goes. Yeah. Those guys are pros at that. They know how to address rooms. They know how to read situations and stuff. I mean, it was what it was. I didn't see them at the after-party. They left. Mr. Kraft came for a second and hung out for a little while. But Bill, he wasn't there. So there wasn't really any interaction. Yeah.

I bet I saw. You're like a child of divorce being like, I don't know who I should be seen with or who I should be buddy-buddy with.

I'll give you this one. We're in the green room and we're all telling war stories, having fun. Coach is telling us about a rookie skin or something that he loved back in the day. And we're all huddled up talking and Kraft walked in. They played it right. But it was like what you just said. I got up and walked away. I was fucking... I didn't know what to do. I walked away. I went to the bathroom. I just didn't want to be in any question asking or anything from... You know what I mean?

Yeah. Was Kraft drunk when he came to the after-party? Because he had four shots. He had a bunch of drinks when he was on stage. I don't know. Is this guy had a tolerance of a tank or what?

I didn't notice any of that. Mr. Kraft, he's a He's a funny guy.

He's fun. The other one, your running mate, Danny Amandola, I think he got maybe the meanest joke of the whole time, and it felt like Belichick might have just showed up just to get that in on him. What did Amandola say afterwards? Because that was brutal. It did feel like it was like that was a real one.

I mean, now you guys get a sense of that's how Bill's sense of humor was, and that's how he would humiliate people in the film room. You know what I mean? Like, oh, that's a great 250 yards. Yeah, Moss had that. That's a good half for Moss. That's how he would get on guys during film. It was awesome to see that. I mean, they knew it was all funny games. They actually kiss it out.

That's cool. They were cool.

I saw them. They were good.

The other guy he went after, which I thought was just really funny, was it Mat Light? Yeah. Yeah, Mat Light. And he just started like, roasting Mat Light. And Mat Light was in the back just like, I did not expect anybody to say my at all tonight. But I felt like that was Belichick just going back to the day of like, okay, I'm going to rip this guy a new asshole because I know that he fucked up on film, so I get to humiliate him in front of the entire team. Kind of the same way he was doing Danny, but it did feel lovely. No. There's a different thing with Matt light.

There's a different thing with Matt light for sure, because Matt light... I actually just had him on my podcast. We'll be launching that here soon. But Matt was the biggest prankster ever. He had balls of steel. He would go above and beyond to get a prank in. It crazy. With Bill, with everyone, with Scarnecchio, the coaches, he was a badass on the field, and he played for 12 years. He was one of our leaders, but he was not afraid to make a fun of the environment with these crazy pranks, which you guys can listen on Games with Names coming out soon, the Matt Light episode. It'll be good.

I love that. It's a good tease. I love that. What about... I have to ask this question because it came up four or five times. Did braided not really shower with the guys?

Yeah, braided took... I mean, I've seen him a couple of times. He was a shower pill guy. We always thought, oh, ready to take the shower pill, meaning didn't shower, just walked out. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, that felt like a recurring theme. Like, dude, why don't you take a shower with us? Which is a very funny thing when you take it outside of the world of a football locker room where it's like you're mad that your buddy won't shower with you.

Yeah. I mean, half the jokes are in the shower.

You got to shower with the guys. You got to shower with the dude.

That's where the real bonding happens.

You got to shower with the dude.

It's When Brandy did shower with you, we were like, Holy shit, we got to act on our best behavior because he's naked right there.

No, no one is off limits in the shower, bro. If you're walking into the warzone, but Brandy would do this one thing where he would get in the corner shower and he'd have He'd have two shower heads on him. It's nice. Luxury. Are you fucking serious? Are we serious here, Tom? You got to have two shower heads. You got to have two shower heads.

Did you ever- Fucking people waiting. Did you ever have a moment where Brandy walked in the shower one day? Once a month and you're like, Fuck, I haven't shaved my pubes in a while?

No, but I did. There was this one time where I was showering and I used to shave my legs just to my calf, and I had hella hairy thighs because I like to get my ankles taken with no pre-wrap. I wanted it on skin. You know what I mean? I go in there and Sean Spring starts making fun of me. He goes, Bro, what the hell? What are you doing? He would make fun of me in a locker room all the time. Then one time, I was in the shower and I showed him like, Hey, Spring, I trimmed all the way up. Look, he goes, Edelman, don't you ever talk to me in the shower and make me look at you again? He started making fun of me. I'm like, Oh, what the fuck,.

He was like, In his 14th year, he was I was like, You're a veteran, Sean Spring.

I was like, Steck the ear in the lead. He'd make fun of me all day. It was funny.

Yeah, you got to shower with the guys. Shower moments are fun.

Yeah. Would it be after a special game that Brett would be like, You know what? I'm going to shower the boy.

Give him a treat.

Well, I mean, he had to shower in away games. In away games, you have to shower.

Yeah, that makes sense. It'd be gross if he did.

I think he just wanted to go home and shower. He probably had the craziest shower at his house, like something insane where he has three showers.

Like, hydrated water. Yeah. So when the schedule would come out, you would circle all the away games being like, nice, I'm going to get to shower with braided these days.

Yeah, so good, so good, bro.

All right, serious question because we haven't had you on since it happened, But the dynasty doc, it was a little crazy. We had Belichick's back. It felt like a very slanted against him. When you were watching it, were you like, I lived half of this, and it's not exactly how it went?

I mean, yeah. I don't know. It was pretty click-basedy where they just wanted to go over everything that people want to see, that they hated us for a long time, and they fed it, and it is what it is. You know what I mean? They just brushed over the great games that we had, like the Troy Brown game where Tom throws the interception. They're about to lose against San Diego, Troy, strips. We didn't see any of that stuff. I don't know, but it's Hollywood. They got to do what they got to do to make it.

Yeah. No, it's hard to do a documentary. There's definitely something to be said. You can't do a documentary where it's just like, Oh, they won, and then they won again, and then they won again because everyone be like, Well, what the fuck? We want to see the other stuff. But it did feel like more other stuff than win.

The crazy thing is we all did those interviews, and that's when Bill was still under the team, so I think he had to do it. Yes.

That's what we were saying. It's like Mr. Kraft asked him one day.

He doesn't get to have his... You know what I mean? But it's been really awesome to see because of all this stuff, Bill's opened up just to go out and do some of these TV things, and he's been doing stuff with McAfee. It's been cool to see him open up a little bit and show people like, Yeah, I'm an asshole, but it's fun. You know what I mean? I'm a football coach. Look how much information I know.

Yeah, he knows a lot. He's a genius. Yeah. In the documentary, Hank was saying that there's not enough Patriots porn. It feels like they did make a documentary almost more for the Patriots haters because there are more of them than there are Patriots fans. But there was one part that featured you that was just pure Super Bowl Patriots porn. When you made that catch against the Falcons, and then you immediately jumped up, you're like, No, bro, I caught it right in the defender's face. He was like, No, you dropped it. You're like, Bro, I caught it. And it was just a nice little back and forth there. When you watch that play on replay, when you see a replay of it, do you pause it and rewind it and rewatch it again? Because if I were you, I would watch that shit all the time. Be like, Look what I did. No, not at all.

Honestly, it's a lucky play. I like watching plays that I got blown up or something, and I just hung on the ball. I came chance to lit me up. I always liked that play, but not really. That was a bad route, so I I don't like that play.Oh.

You fucked up.Bad process.

Good result. I bananted my route. It's a middle read. And with cover five, you got to go to the near up rate of the post. You know what I mean? If there is one safety, then you take it to the numbers, and it becomes more like a fade. But right here, you're trying to put pressure on the two high safety. So you want to really try to get him, the defender, he's got inside leverage. I've beenated my route. You got to make him feel like you're hitting that bow route, and then he undercuts, and then you get open. And I just... I mean, it was a bad route, so I don't like it.

Who's that? It was Brandon Marshall. What's up, B-Marsh?

How are you doing, buddy?

You got the hold on.

Brandon Marshall hit me up. Literally hit me up on Thursday, 30 minutes before. I was like, Hey, bro, I'm staying at your house from Thursday to Monday. It's cool. I'm like, Sure.

Is this a real show right now? He did the same thing with us. B-marsh, he came to the Chicago office, and then four days later, he was still coming in. I was like, Do you work here now? He's like, No, I'm using your podcast studio. I was like, Oh, okay, cool.

This is Rocky.

Hey, Rocky.

What's up, Rocky?

Big Cat, you all was making me meals and everything. I know. You're welcome back anytime. I did this yesterday. Yeah, anytime. I walk in Jules house first off. This house is the best house I've ever seen in the world. He's super rich. But I thought you were retired. Why are you still talking football? You got a bow route. Are you talking about bow route?

He fucked up that route in the Super Bowl.

He keeps on asking about the catch. I hate that play because middle read, I didn't bop my guy to the bow route. I began in my route. That's like the coach. That's like one thing you can't do. Because it was like a '97's play. We had a '97 play game for offense, which you're cooked, and they literally ran out of gas.

That's what I want. That's what I want. I'll walk into a real show. This is so Belichick of you, though, because it makes me think that at one point, Belichick might have brought up that catch the next year and been like, Edelman, this is not how you run the route, even though it was like- No, he never did that. No, he never did that.

That would be very Belichick.

He never did that.

I've always wanted to do watch film of the Super Bowl. Do you break that down and learn from it? Because it's a new team the next year.

Do you even go back?

You know what I do? During Super Bowl time, I watched the NFL Network, and they always have the old games on, and I just watched the old games the TV copies, because A, I've never seen really a lot of the TV copies when I was playing. And B, it's good to reference. It brings up my memories back. Like, Oh, shit. I remember that situation, this game right here. Then it's good for when I talk TV and talk to you guys and stuff. I'm a fan of the game. So you watch all these. The old cut-ups are crazy. Then you get the AFC Championship Week. They have all the old AFC Championship Weeks and stuff. I think it's fun.

Yeah. One last question about the document. You're going to tell us why Malcolm Butler was bench for the Super Bowl.

Oh, yeah.

I have no clue, bro.

No one knows.

I was away from the team, bro. I was so mad, actually, because I took my ACL that year.

Yeah, you were with us.

Yeah, I remember I was with you. It was like, I couldn't even go to the team hotel. They put me out in this other team, the family hotel. I was so pissed, man. I had to go 45 minutes. I'm not part of the show.

I don't even know why. I remember you came on radio and I was like, How's it going? How the guy's feeling? And you were just like, I don't know. I'm not with them. I'm not allowed to be with them.

It's fucking-Yeah. They were in the game, bro.

Yeah. All right. So we have to ask you, and you have to pump up Hank. He's not super excited about Drake May, and partially your fault, right?

You know what? He's been growing on me. Drake's been growing on me.

Okay.

I like the whole basketball, rent it out basketball gym night of. Competitor. I heard he was the best golfer at that one visit where they were going to top golf with the teams and stuff. He went up and he got like- This is nothing to do with football.

Wouldn't you like him to not be excellent at golf?

No, it has nothing to do with football. He's good at basketball. He's good at football. Those are the types of things that the competitive dudes that like to compete when it's a hairy situation, those guys aren't scared of that moment. Now, I'm not saying that guy's there, but those little stories, I don't know if they're coming Out of nowhere. I've started to hear him more.

Sitting at the...

He sat with the people at the Bruins?

Yeah.

He sat in the regular seats at the Bruins, didn't sit in the suite, man of the people.

Ultimately, This is not just on him. This is on now Wolf, who's the general manager. You got to get him playmakers. This is also on the developmental of the coaching staff, Van Drake or the new OC they have. That's going to be his job. They brought in Ben McAdoo, so he's going to be probably working with the quarterback and help developing this guy. So this is a team effort when you have a young quarterback, and I never really got to experience one.

Yeah. What about the allegations, again, from Hank that he throws a very heavy ball? Heavy. The ball looks heavy in his hands.

I like he's big, though.

Yeah.

So you think he has a heavier ball? No. I I got to catch it. I'll let you guys know. I'm probably going to go check out a camp. Yeah. I'll give you a little update on it. Okay. I got to go catch it. Hey, I threw it Drew Bledso.

I was about to say that. Yeah. That was crazy. He was throwing a thousand miles an hour.

He was playing it, bro.

Yeah.

Did you ask him to do that, or was he just like, Here's a catch. Here's going 90 miles an hour?

No, we were literally... We did the podcast, and then we went out in the backyard and we were drinking wine. He's a big wine guy, a double back, I I think, is his wine company. And there's a ball there, and we just started throwing. I was like, I want to catch Drew's ball. I want to see how it feels. And that dude's got the centripical force on his ball. Those are big-handed guys. When the ball speed is spinning fast, and he could just flick it. He's 50 years old.

Yeah. Is it weird?

And he can still ding it.

Yeah. Is it weird when you're hanging out with a guy like Drew Bledso because you never played with him, but it's like going back to the divorce with your divorced child with Robert Kraft and Belichick, when you meet Drew Bledso, you're like, Oh, it's like your long lost brother. We had the same dad. We were born under the same thing, but we never really bonded. But you have all these common things.

100 %. And Drew was around a lot. I met him early in my career, and he You guys don't realize, Drew Blutso was the biggest guy in New England. You know what I mean? He was the guy. People loved him here, and they still do. And with how he's handled that whole situation, that's the real Patriot way right there. We used to have a sign on that said, Mental toughness, doing what's best for the team when it may not be best for you. He walked by it every day. And he's an example of that. A lot of guys could have handled that situation a lot differently. And he's seeing, just from hearing stories and talking with guys, he was always a good teammate, even with that whole thing.

He seems like he's got a good head on his shoulder. It's funny because it's like, do your job. But in his case, his job was to no longer do his job. But he did that job really well.

But I'm just telling you guys, the guy's like 50 years old, and when you see him, he looks like a number one draft pick. Oh, looks good in shorts. No, he was in jeans, but he was flinging that. He's just a big, burly, white man, like a country mountain man.

I've got just an idea that just came to me. You're talking about, I got to catch Drake's ball. You should do like Dave does pizza reviews. You should just do ball reviews. You just catch a ball from somebody, and then you rate the ball. How good was that ball? That's not a bad idea.

You could even throw in some blind. Obviously, you got to catch people's ball's current NFL, but doing a throwback blind ball catching video where it's like, I think that was Bledso's ball. Oh, that might have been an L That way. Yeah.

He got smoked right in the face.

Could you tell the difference? If you were blindfolded and you caught one of Brady's balls, and then we blindfolded you caught one of Jimmy G's balls, could you tell?

I mean, You wouldn't be able to catch it. But if there was a situation or scenario where you could actually do that, where I could see, but like- Maybe they're behind the net.

You could feel the ball.

You could definitely feel the ball. It's different. I could feel the difference between Hoyer's You can feel the difference between Jimmy G's ball, Cam's ball. You can feel the difference. Then Tebo came in. I wouldn't even let him throw to me because he goes opposite speed or opposite side. I don't want to get used to that other centrifugal force.

Yeah. Who had the What's his name? Francis Balls.

You know who actually threw a real catchable ball? Brian Hoyer did.

Yeah. Axel.

He had this little pat thing. He threw a real catchable ball. Mallet used to throw a real heavy hard ball. Hard ball.

He had an arm.

He had an arm.

That's good. I like that. Ball reviews.

I got some draft analysis for you. If you're looking at these three prospects, which one really jumps off the page to you in terms of how they're going to fit in in the NFL, given your experience. Cooper D. Jean, right, McCafee, Luke McCafee, and then Lad McConkey.

Are those all white guys, right?

I don't know. Cooper D. Jean? I don't know.

I don't see any. What's the question.

Which one of those guys reminds you the most of you? Oh, they are white. They are all white. Yeah, they're all white.

None of them. None of them? None of them. Because they're all big. That corner guy is way faster than I ever was. Then the Macafre, he's taller. He's more like Ed. He's like his dad. His body type is different.

Yeah. All right. Well, Jules, I got one last question. Thank you again. It's been awesome. We love having you on every time. It is the Roback question, robackk. Com, promo code, take 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, robackk. Com. We will hopefully see you maybe Grit Week, which we haven't announced yet.

Yeah, in Chicago? Or you guys are coming here?

Possibly. I actually asked him- I got to get out to Chicago.

You do.

I asked Jules. I was like, Where are you going to be in And he's like, You mean, will I be in America? And I was like, Okay, let's start there. Yeah. Will you be in America? He's like, Yeah, I think so. All right, cool.

Us too.

It's Travel Month. That's right before the season. You got things going. You got to get a thing out. Then you clamp down, football season in. You got to buckle in.

That's true. That's true.

Twenty-five weeks.

All right, so rowback question. The last question I had for you was, we skirted by it, but how many jokes do you think out of, let's say, did Gronk actually process?

He knew them all.

No.

Yes. I actually had a joke where I was going to incorporate Gronk because he gets a rap for being... It was like, This is one of the jokes. I was going to have Gronk in on it. I would have been like, Everyone has this big old thing out for Gronk that he's a dumb, a simple guy, a dumb dumb. And it's not true. He's actually a savant with numbers. Watch, Gronk with 69 minus 37. 32. That's right, Gronk. The same number of teams that rather lose and have a conversation with Coach Belichick.

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Should have done that. I know. But he would have had to nail that 32.

Yeah. Is that why you didn't do it?

No, he would have got it. I'm telling you right now, Gronk knows numbers, bro.

I'm telling you. I think he just knows 69-based math. He knows 69 minus any number.

This guy, he can count, dude. I'm telling you, whenever we used to talk contracts, I would always bust his balls. Like, watch, what's the square we're doing? It's Gronk, 144, you're like, 12, dude. He really knows numbers pretty well, dude.

Listen, I think he is smarter than people give him credit for. He did not understand Kevin Hart's three-fifths joke. That one he didn't get.

Because you forget this was on live TV, so they went to gronk seven or eight times. But sometimes you couldn't hear.

Yeah. Sometimes it's good to hear.

The speakers are in front of you. They were in front of you. So sometimes, even though they're close, you wouldn't hear. You'd hear the reaction before you hear the joke.

He is the best, though. I was saying I wanted just a miced up episode of The Roast, just of him, because in his roast, him just being gronk is so fucking funny. He's just the best. He's the man.

He's honestly the most genuine, lovable dude. Yeah.

We love my last- Great energy. Last question for me. Just who out of the non-comedians do you think had the best set? And you can't say the ones that we talked about. You can't say Drew Bledso, and you can't say- I think Nikki Glazer killed it. She's a comedian, though. Oh, wow.

That was misogynistic of you.

No, but she literally... I thought her jokes were... Did you say, Oh, non- players was the best?

Non-comedians. Non-comedians, yeah. And you just were like, Oh, that check was pretty funny. That was crazy.

I thought she was the best.

She was the best. She was the best. Yeah, but who are the non-comedians? So what athlete? Athlete or actor We know it wasn't Ben Affleck, so we can scratch that one-off. You're definitely not.

I didn't even get that thing.

It was weird. It was so bizarre.

He was just like, You fucking keyboard warrior.

I was like, Who are you roasting?

I can't say Drew. I thought Tom did well. I thought that Kanye joke was good. Yeah, it was. About Kim.

That was great. I also thought Tom did a good job of at the end, you didn't want him to... He did what he should have done being like, Fuck all of you. I'm Tom braided. You know what I mean? He didn't play like, Oh, I'm a humble guy. He's like, No, I'm Tom braided, which that was what he should have done.

Dude, the guy wins. It's crazy. We went on a fox retreat for NFL Fox, all the dogs and stuff, like Terry, Howie, Coach. Tom was out there, Burkart, and we were playing this game, LRC. And for 45 minutes, Tom was out. You know what I mean? Have you guys played that game?

What is it?

What is it? It's like there's three dice and then there's dots.

Oh, yes.

The R, you should pass it right. You know, left, left. Dude fully won it in front of everyone. Everyone's like, Oh, my God, it's really true. This guy wins at everything. It's his first introduction to the Fox team, you know what I mean? Really all of us hanging out. It was just like everyone's like, Oh, my God, is he Jesus?

I heard Olson is really good at that game, too.

He wasn't invited to that. I don't know what you're talking about. Jules, you're the best.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You're the best, man. And hopefully, we see you soon. And everyone, do go watch and subscribe to Games with Names. The Ernie Adams episode, Start There. It was awesome.

The blood show episode was just really good. We went on all the Rose stuff. Matt Light episode is going to be epic. This dude was a nut, bro. And then how about Brandon Marshall? He literally hit me up two days ago, three days ago. He's been like, All right, then come over.

Are you going to do an episode with him?

We already did an episode. We did the Pro Bowl when he got Pro Bowl MVP.

You should be like, Hey, tomorrow, can we do the episode where it was maybe week six? It was Bear's Dolphins, and he got in, allegedly, got in a screaming match with Robbie Gold after the game in the locker room. You should see if he'll do that one. We got embarrassed, and it was a real low. It was like, Brandon Marshall fights with Kicker. You should do that.

Oh, man.

No, I'm not.

I'm not doing it. Do it. I just like the fact that Brandon Marshall was hanging out at your house, and then he walks by, and he's also got a football in his hand. Yeah. He's like, Yeah, it's me, Brandon Marshall, the football player.

We're just playing football.

We do have balls around the house because we do our podcast here. If we need a five-minute break, you got five minutes. All right, fellows, we got five minutes. Toss, toss. Get a little air. Throw the ball around.

I love it.

Yeah, you're living the life. Podcast studio in your house. That's everyone's dream. All right, Jules, thanks so much, man. Appreciate it. Everyone, go subscribe, and we'll see you soon, hopefully.

All right, guys, man. Take care.

This show is sponsored by Better Help. We all carry around different stressors, big and small. When we keep them bottled up, it can start to affect us negatively. Therapy is a safe space to get things off your chest and to figure out how to work through whatever is weighing you down. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule. I was actually talking with a friend earlier this week, and I recommended that they try better help because they just moved. They don't have a therapist. I said, Give better help a try. It's entirely online, so it can be convenient with your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. You can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Get it off your chest with better help. Visit betterhelp. Com/pmt Get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelphelp. Hlp. Com/pmt. Now, here's Blake Bortles.

Now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on our very, very, very good friend, recurring guest, pardon my take, legend is Blake Bortles. We figured we have to have him on before we do Blake of the Year in a month and a half. Get him prepped. We were talking before. You noted we always have Bortles with us in the background with his jersey. And PFT mentioned that we have the Saints, the packers. We don't have a Broncos one. Now, the question to you is, should we get a Broncos, Blake Bortles jersey, or should we get the guy who had to start that game because you gave everyone COVID?

Kendall Hinton. It was also not my fault. I was thinking about that when you mentioned it, though. I don't know what number I was in Denver.

You didn't play a game, did you?

I never dressed because I got there. I was inactive for the first two or three weeks, and then I was on practice squad. And then for 45 minutes, I was going to start against the Saints, and then I got blamed for everybody getting COVID, and Kendall Hinton got to start.

You did have five. You had five.

Wait, yeah. Okay.

So when you go to Denver and the punter or the kicker has number five, are you like, Hey, can I get your number?

I did. At that point in my career, I was fine wearing Mike Winshaw 20. I didn't care.

All right. So first of all, I just want to say apologies for that Bruhne Panthers over because we were texting before, and you're like, Yeah, I'm ready to go. I'm just sitting on my couch watching, hoping for goals. I don't know anything about hockey. That's basically everyone at this time of year where it's like, Oh, let me turn on this hockey game. They score goals, and then it's the playoffs. It's like, Fuck, this sucks.

It is tough. I've gotten murdered. I love hockey. I don't know a ton about it. I know the basics and obviously the rules, and I've gotten to know guys that are playing, and the stars, obviously, of the league. I listen to spitting chiclets here and there, so it's where my knowledge comes from, but I'm just donating money at this point.

What have you been up to recently? I feel like we haven't heard from Bortles for a long time. Are you picking up any new hobbies?

I'm trying things out. I'm trying just random things, hoping to find something to play. Golf will always be a hobby of mine. I got two little kids who are doing that, still building a house. That's hopefully going to be done here soon. And then outside of that, just random stuff. I played tennis a couple of times. I found out that wasn't for me. I meant to just try things. I'm working on getting into maybe some jiu-jitsu or something. I'm going to see how that goes. I'm looking for stuff.

Tennis is very boring, I found.

It wasn't. It was also like our daughter plays tennis, so it was like, All right, let me see if I'll do this, too, so we can play together. I did it for an hour one day, and I think I made contact with 50% of the balls and was dead tired in 35 minutes. It's like, Yeah, I'll play pickleball. Yeah.

Every time I play tennis, I'll play for 10 minutes, and then the thought will cross my head and be like, This would be so much sicker if it was home run derby.

Yeah, 100. Because every now and then, you accidentally hit one out of the fence. It's just like, I'd rather do that.

Yeah, you're like, Holy shit, I'm strong.

I I also just can't serve, which you just can't play if you can't serve. I can hit it hard, but I can't hit it in that square.

That's the thing about it. They say it's a really good cardio workout, but it's not at all if you stink at it. You're just getting started. Then it's the most boring standing around thing ever.

You're just one and done every time.

All right. So the other thing I was wondering, all three of us have new quarterbacks on this show, PFT, Hank and I. You were a new quarterback at one point. What If we ever meet our new quarterbacks, what should we tell them? The Blake Bortles, Hey, this is what you do if you're drafted high and you have an entire city expecting things out of you.

You have- Caleb Williams. I actually got to meet because he was training 10 minutes from our house here in Florida. Awesome kid. Yes. Pft has- Jaden Daniels. Jaden Daniels stud, and Hank has Drake May. In New England, right? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like the young... It's changed so much. It used to be come and sit, hang out like the Aaron Rodgers deal. That was supposed to be what I did, and ended up playing earlier than expected, which was great and learned a lot through experience and a ton of failures. And then I feel like Mahomes has just changed the game on the expectations of how you're supposed to play right away. If you ever meet him, I don't know, tell him you love him and he's doing great.

That's good. That's good advice.

Just positivity, man. Kids going through a lot. It's probably not going to go great right away. Let's stick to it. Keep working. You'll be fine.

What was it like just getting started with the Jaguars? When you go into the building, what attitude did you have to have? People have expectations, obviously, because you're drafted so high. Do you come in like, Yeah, I'm the fucking shit. Do you actively have to check your own ego sometimes?

I would imagine there's probably guys that have done that, whether coming off the high as men's or just highly touted dudes throughout their entire career. For me, coming into the NFL was the first time there was really ever any expectations on me. I was the second quarterback at UCF in our recruiting class and still getting drafted third overall and going into Jacksonville. That was the first time that there was ever anything expected of me right away. So that was different. But it's all just new. It's a totally different game, especially. I feel like the college and the NFL games are so different in all aspects of it. At the same time, you're walking in at 20, 21, 22 years old, and there's guys in there that are married with kids, and it's like, I have no experience of how to handle these people. Outside of talking to my parents and my parents' friends, I don't know how to talk to parents. Some of that stuff's new, but I'm sure all those dudes will be fine. They've gotten so good so mature. They're dealing with media and then I owe shit and all that. So I'm sure they all do great.

Have they retired your jersey at UCF yet?

No.

What the fuck?

I got inducted into the Hall of Fame two years ago.

Okay.

But I don't think there's only a couple. Like, Dante, Cole Peppers. Well, I guess they're like, because there's 120 kids on a team, so they can't start taking numbers away, but I guess they hang them up. I think there's a couple of numbers that up around the stadium, which I guess maybe Ring of Honor type deal.

We need that. It will come. We'll come to that day. If they ever decide to do it, let's put some pressure on them. They're like, What are we doing here?

Let's get Bortles up in the rafters. We could have an Orlando weekend and celebrate. It'd be great.

Yeah, they need to respect you. They need to hang your banner high.

Did you know that- We got a national championship banner.

Yeah, it's true.

Did you know that you had the highest yards per carry? Excuse me, third highest yards per carry of any quarterback ever in the history of the NFL?

No, I didn't. Is that an actual stat?

Yeah. I think you finished with 6.3. Mike Vick only had seven yards per attempt.

Only, dude. Could you imagine me and Mike Vick's similar athletic ability?

Yeah. No, they need to put some respect on your name. That's the great Blake Bortles.

This is the Blake Bortles Hall of Fame pitch that we're going to start working on.

We're going to make a whole pamphlet of it.

Third all time, yards per carry. It's a good start.

Yeah, the boat. That also is good. I mean, you can't say anyone else's the boat.

Should have beaten the New England Patriots in Gillette in the postseason and gone to the Super Bowl. That got ripped from your hands. Yep. Absolutely. That's going in there, too. Outdualed Ben Rocklis Berger.

Got everyone COVID and got Kendall Hinton to start.

That's right.

Looking out for guys. Actually, one bullet point just should be, did not give the entire Broncos COVID, contrary to popular belief.

Again, the whole thing said Well, to be a Man of the Year finalist.

Yeah.

That's right. That was the year Jared played in Super Bowl. New England beat him. What was the score? 10-7, 13-7. That game in Atlanta.

That was the year Chris Long gave the entire world water. And so he won Man of the Year.

Supplied the entire continent of Africa with clean water. We all thought we had a chance to win in that year for fundraising for our local community.

No chance. I forgot to tell you, and I want to hear your perspective of it. I ran into your agent when we were in Indy for the Combine. I had met him a couple of times before, so I said hello to him. I was laughing because I was like, What was it like for you guys when Blake just accidentally retired on our show? They were like, Yeah, that sucked for us because We just got a bunch of calls right away. He said he was like, Blake told us, specifically, he's like, Any calls you get, I'm not talking to anyone else. I'm talking to the part of my take, guys. I want to say thank you. Also, was that your of it that your agents were like, What the fuck, dude? Why did you do that?

When I went to New Orleans, the last stop I was on was the last rodeo. It was like I was staying in shape. I was still throwing. I felt obligated to take the call whenever it came. But it came the day before Christmas. And what year was that? '21, '22?

Yeah.

Somewhere in there. It was two days before Christmas, and we got little kids at home. We're starting to build stuff to set out for Christmas presents. And my agent calls me and he's like, Hey, he's got a call from New Orleans. And I was like, Yeah, let's just... We'll maybe just see what happens next year, see if we hear from anybody. And it was like, No, they really want you to come. They'll guarantee your contract or this or that. And I was like, All right, we owe it to ourselves to go do this. So we did it. Then obviously, the year ends. A month later, I think they signed Andy Dalton and I guaranteed his money. So it was just like, All right, that's not the road we're going to go down next year. So let's get out of that. And I was just like, I'm done. I remember him telling me, I was like, Do I have to announce? Because you used to have to put in papers to retire, and it was like a whole thing. Well, they got rid of that, and It was just, if you're not on a roster for, I think, 12 months, you're just considered retired, was what I was told.

So I was like, Yeah, let's just go that route, dude. Hopefully, nobody says anything for a year. And then all of a sudden, I'll just be officially retired. And then a PFT me a question when I was talking to you guys, and I just accidentally said it. I was like, Yeah, now we're officially retired.

It's a common law of retirement. If you're not on a roster, then legally-Yeah, you're just done.

Yeah, but so what did your agent say after you came on PMT that time? Were they like, Wait, dude, that wasn't the plan.

Yeah, I was just like, Well, just out the window went the quietly retiring. It's a thing. Then, of course, after, it was either right around that time or maybe just after, there was calls from two or three teams like, Hey, I'd like to have you come in. It was just like, No, done.

Yeah, go listen to part of my take. Yeah, and the fact that you confirmed, I knew you did that, but the fact that you told your agents, specifically, Anyone who hits me up, just tell him I'm not going to talk to him because I'm doing it all on part of my take. Thank you. Because that fucking rocked. That was it.

Well, I felt like that was where it all started. The first real interview I ever did, it felt like, was with you guys at the Super Bowl in 2014.

Can we tell a story about that?

Hold on. Yeah, I wanted the story about that, but I have to just say there was another interview that you did before that, and I also talked to your agents about that. The famous Cribs episode with Sophie Julia.

It's my mom's favorite.

They also told me a story that you did that episode and you didn't really tell your agents, and they had to put out a million fires after because you just had a bunch of sponsorships, and everything in your house wasn't the sponsorship I'm going to say, I'm going to go down to the gym. Open your fridge, and they were like, What the fuck, Blake? We just took money from these other people.

There's no body armor in there. There's no monster. The product placement wasn't great. It took me a couple of years to understand the ramifications and the significance of being an NFL quarterback. I lived like I was still playing in college for the first year or two. I was in the NFL.

That rocked. There was the interview that you did with us the first time. I'll tell this story. We might actually have to cut this part out, too. But I remember you had done a lot of media. You're like, Yeah, I trust these guys. I'll talk to them for a little bit. And we asked you about the London games that the Jaguars would always play in. And you're like, Yeah, it's crazy over there. When you ask for a f, they mean that they're asking for a cigarette. And then after we got off to call me and Big Cat talked to her. We were like, I don't think he said anything bad, but I think that it would not be a good look for Blake to have him saying that word there. So we quietly took that part out of the interview to have your back on it, just to spare you a small headache. But I don't think we've ever told that story. No, we haven't. That we took that part out. But yeah, it's good.

I appreciate you guys protecting me on that and the dumb stuff that I used to say a lot that I've tried to say a little less.

Yeah. I mean, it wasn't... That is the word they use over there. It's crazy.

I remember the first time going over there and hearing... The first, I mean, I was... I don't know. I'm 22 years old and leaving the country for the first time in my life, going to play football in London, playing at Wembley Stadium. And unbelievable experience. Super cool. But the first year I went, we flew out. We played sincey and then flew out after the game. So we were there the a week. So we had a ton of time to go out and do stuff and get dinners and hang out. And hearing somebody say that, Can I buy my water? It was just like...

Yeah. What are you saying? No, straight. I know.

That's slang for cigarettes. It's just like, okay.

It's crazy.

Blake, I don't know if you're aware of this, but Hank and I have been going through a similar thing recently where we've noticed that we're starting to lose our hair. We're wondering if you had any-Welcome to the club. Any advice for us?

Shave it and grow a beard.

I can't do one of those.

But your hair has been… Hank, you look good. Where's it going? In the front or the back?

There's a little spot in the back. I see.

Yeah, he's losing in the back.

It's tiny. It's not even really noticeable right now to anybody except for Hank, but it's definitely-But they got those…

Just go to Turkey.

That's what we were saying, yeah.

I said I would go with them and I get a Brazilian butt lift because I'm not losing my hair.

Blake, would you come with us if we went to Turkey?

Yeah, I'll go. I feel like Brian Erlacher paved the way. My thing was, which I held on to it for a while, I was obviously losing hair, and I finally got... I don't know if I've ever told you guys. I shaved my head for the first time because I was in LA playing for the Rams, and I found this barber, and I went four or five times. I was like, Hey, just give me the white boy fade on the sides and take a little off the top. After the fourth or fifth time, and I didn't really know the guy all that well, outside of the 45 minutes I spent with him for the haircut, he goes, Dude, you need to just shave your fucking head. Yeah, I think you're right, dude. It's time to shave it. He just bullied me in I was shaving my head.

You used to be elite. We've talked about this. You used to be elite at the helmet off hat on. Not even... You were so fast with it. They should probably put that in the combine.

That'll go on the pamphlet.

Yeah. No one ever took their helmet off and put their hat on faster than Blake Portals.

There was a quick... Because if you're balding as a norm, or especially being... I'm 6'5, so walking around, nobody really sees it. But you go to play football in front of a stadium of however many people, everybody's above you. So me and my guy, George, in the Jacksonville equipment room had just an unbelievable assembly line of helmet to hat switch off.

It's perfect practice. All right, Blake, This is a very random that this happened when we had you on, but Hank got a DM over the weekend that he's going to have to read to you, and we need you to address some allegations that you actually threw out there. I don't know if you know what this is about. It has something to do with you being on vacation and maybe someone coming up to you and talking to you.

Yeah, well, they were talking about, should we ask Blake on? And I saw a DM this week, and I was like, I think he's on vacation because some random guy DM me and said, I was on vacation this weekend, and I happened to be at the same resort as Bortles. After mustering up the balls to say something to him with my brother-in-law, I asked him how he likes his chances for this year as Blake of the Year. He said, Very slim, and his claim was because Blake Griffin cheats.

Blake Griffin, when it used to be Blake Griffin has the greatest WiFi of all time. Because when you guys used to call and it was the first to answer, I swear to God, I could not have answered any quicker, and Blake Griffin was beating me by half a second. So his Xfinity or AT&T or whatever he's got is just elite.

Yeah. So wait, do you remember this guy coming up to you and asking you this?

Yeah, it was yesterday.

That's so funny that someone just... Are you like, What the fuck, dude? Or is it cool someone's coming up to you and being like, Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, Blake of the Year, how are you feeling?

I mean, it's honestly probably one of the most frequently things I get at. I would say people ask me more about Blake of the Year or PMT-related stuff than anything football-related. But we were sitting at the pool Friday, maybe, and my fiance was like, Hey, I think that guy is taking pictures or videos of your stuff over there. And She was like, Can you send that to Barstool? And I was like, Yeah, but I don't think they'll post me over here, lounging with my belly out in the pool. I don't think that's up their alley of stuff to do. So the fact that he actually reached out to Hanko is pretty great. Yeah.

What about, do you Have you had any advice for Blake Griffin in retirement?

Blake to Blake? Which I saw he just retired, right? In April?

Yeah.

Awesome, dude. Congrats. What a career. No, I'm sure he's got it figured out, but he's He's into golf. He's talented. He can do all kinds of stuff. I got no advice for Blake. I'd actually like to hear some advice from him. Yeah.

I mean, Blake of the Year is going to be big this year.

Yeah. I mean, if we get Brooks to... I mean, he's already... He leads the world and live victory, so he might as well retire. We could all three of us retire. It'd be great.

It's a Blake retirement tour.

Yeah. We'd go have a full-on golf tournament for the Blake of the Year.

We're talking about what to do for Blake of the Year. One idea that was thrown out there was to get everybody together and to do maybe some... I don't know if it's a golf tournament, but it would obviously... Brooks would have to take a severe handicap in that.

Or you just make him play like left-handed.

Is he still good left-handed? I think he's probably really good left-handed. Are you good?

Not as good as I should be being retired.

What's your handicap?

I think I'm a seven-something right now.

Oh, that's good. That's good, yeah.

That's really good.

Came in second place in a member guest last week, so I got going for me.

You're competing in the Barstool Classic, right? When it's in Florida?

Yeah, hopefully. If Riggs ever lets me in.

Oh, did that not get taken care of? No, I don't know. All right, I'm on it because I remember when you hit me up, it was very Blake Portals of you. You're like, Hey, is there any way that I could get in? I was like, Dude, are you really asking me? We'll do anything to get you in this. You're Barstool royalty.

I think I set an alarm because it We went live at 11:00 or 12:00. A friend of mine who I play in a bunch of tournaments and stuff with was like, Hey, they got the Barstool Classic going on here. Josh Scoby, you remember that name, kicker for the Jags? He facilitated the whole thing. He belongs to the club where the tournament's at. I was like, All right, let's get in. I fully signed this up two minutes after it started, and it was just like, You're on the waitlist. We'll let you know if you get in. And then that was when I texted you.

Wait, so what club is there? What city is it in?

It's in Jackson. It's like Deerwood, closer to downtown Jackson.

All right. I'm sending a text right now to make sure this gets done to the top of the line. You have to be in it. I mean, you have to be in it. I would love to.

You can't have a Barstool classic. I tried to go about it the right way.

No, but You shouldn't have even done that. You're too humble. But you can't have a Barstool classic in Jacksonville without Blake Bortles. That's not a real classic.

Yeah. Maybe they just... The extra team in the field. I don't want to take somebody's spot that rightfully registered.

I think if we, after After this interview, someone will probably volunteer to give up their spot, but we don't need to do that. You're just in.

We'll figure out a way.

You're in no matter what. All right. No matter what. Can't wait.

Then stay tuned for Blake of the Year because we want to figure out a way to get everybody in person for it.

Do it big. Yeah, anything but lottery balls.

Do you want to pick a number?

Yeah, 19.

All right, 19. This is Blake only. Down, Max.

I can't believe you guys actually brought this thing to I got.

67.

Yeah, close.

All right, Blake, I have one last question. Wait, I just got a text back. Absolutely. Can you send me his information? I'll get his information. All right, we're in.

Yes.

That's a no-brainer. All right, Roback question, robackk question, rhobackk. Com, promo code take 20% off. Your first purchase, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowbackk. Com. All right, so you mentioned at the beginning, you're still building your house. Are Are you still doing some construction personally? Are you doing some cosplay? Are you getting over there and just getting with the guys every now and then?

Yeah, I'm a locker room guy at the house. I don't know anything. I ask multiple questions every time I'm over there. I retain half the information, and I bring beer on Fridays.

Oh, that's awesome. That's a great guy, yeah.

What a dude. Yeah, that's his step. Become good friends with the guys at Fri, which they're all gone now, although the guys that framed the entire house got close with the framers, which felt like my people. Now we've moved on the drywall. There's a bit of a language barrier going on now, but we're overcoming through Budweiser. Then I think we're close to meeting the roofers. I met the roofers, great dudes. And then I'm looking forward to hanging with the painters.

Yeah, this might be why it's taking so long as they just want to keep hanging out with you.

Which, yeah, it's really backfired because in my mind, I was like, Dude, hang out with them, buy beer. They'll love you. They'll do it the right way. But I Blinkport. Yeah, you're exactly right. I think they're just procrastinating out for the hangout.

Yeah. Why would I ever finish a job if every Friday I got free beer and got to hang out with Blake Portals?

Yeah. Either they think you're too nice of a boss or they just love hanging out with you.

Yeah, one of the other. I'm either getting taken advantage of, which I'm sure is probably the more likely option, or we did play. There was a guy, the awesome dude. His name's '95 because he was born in 1995. Electrician, they call him '95. But guys, Guys were great. They crushed everything they did, wiring and everything throughout the house. They brought a football out one day and we just had a catch, and it just stopped work. Everybody stopped what they were doing from the house, our house, the houses around. And next day, it felt like you were at just gym class in sixth grade and we're just playing a 15-wave catch.

I love that.

That's amazing. What a visual.

I would never finish that house. Ever. No. It's probably good for you, too. You're learning Spanish?

Yeah. It's a blast, dude. We went over the other day. The guys just slay and haven't necessarily met anybody by name in the drywall department, but they had the Spanish music bump in, and it really set us up for a good night because you walked in and it was like, All right, we're going to Mexican tonight, Margaritas.

I love it. All right, well, Blake, we'll talk in about a month and a half. For Blake, the year, we got to figure it out. And then I'll make sure that you're set up with the Barstool Classic. I'm excited to see you win that thing.

Look forward to. Don't you top three teams go in there like a championship that they do out in Arizona?

Yeah. And this is going to be the start of the Championship DVD. This little segment on the podcast being like, this is when it all came out and you're going to win the whole thing.

That's right. I can't wait. It'll be a blast. Thanks for helping me out.

Yeah. All right. Well, Blake, thanks again, man. Appreciate it. Always great talking to you.

Great talking to you guys. Talk soon.

Blake Bortles is brought to you by Chevy.

As everyone knows, this is a Chevy Truck podcast. The greatest trucks ever built and our good friends at Chevy have been a big part of the part of my take story. Silverado helped us dig the biggest hole ever dug in Ohio during Grit Week. Silverado partnered with us to give college fullbacks all the rightful recognition that they deserve with a lowman award. Then they also powered our nonstop cross country trip to the Super Bowl in LA, behind the wheel of a Chevy Silverado. Silverado has been a part of part of my take throughout the years. Chevy Silverado, long-time, awesome partner of the show. It's a truck with commanding and unstoppable grit, legendary capability, dependability, too. It's very, very comfortable. It's an awesome truck. It looks great. It's the perfect truck for tailgating. If you're thinking about tailgating, get ready for next football season. Get yourself a Chevy Silverado. Find out for yourself, like so many other AWLs, head to chevy. Com. Check out all the Chevy truck grit. Build your own Silverado. For do it yourself projects to road trips, offseason adventures to tailgates, whatever your thing is, it all starts with a Chevy truck.

Okay, let's finish up the show. You have an Embraced Debate for us, PFT?

Yes, I have an Embraced Debate. It's a good discussion that I think we should be having. It's from Ed Lattemore. Ed Lattemore, former professional boxer. He had this take on Twitter/X. Something a lot of men don't like to admit. All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women. Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them. Those things are cool, but they're a coincidental positive externality to the prime objective to keep the species going. Every hobby that you have is designed to attract women. Fact or fiction?

I mean, my only hobby is gambling.

Do you think women are attracted by flight simulators? No. Serious question.

No.

No?

More than gambling.

That's a good embrace debate.

Which gets you by your tail. I think flight simulator would definitely get you. I mean, gambling has to be the least attractive thing to a woman.

If you're good at it.

Yeah, if you're good. No. I'm not. But that's a good point, Hank. Really good gamblers, they're swimming in it.

Yeah, that's my only hobby, so I don't know what I would be.

I think women are attracted to the fact that I shot at 89 today.

Some. There are some.

How did you shoot on the back nine? Good one.

Do we have the least amount of hobbies as a podcast?

Let's see.

I have zero.

You have no hobbies?

Vacations. Nope.

That's a good hobby.

I would be attracted to a woman.

Max, yelling at sports on TV isn't a hobby? That's a job.

That's true. Memes, what's your hobby?

Call of Duty.

Okay. You have video games? No, don't do that. Memes, your hobby is helicopter parenting a turtle?

What's that? What's Shane's?

What didn't you understand? Sometimes Memes just doesn't speak. He just looks. I think he just does it. I also think Memes doesn't understand common phrases. Like helicopter parenting, you've never heard that? No. Like someone A parent who's just a parent who's obsessive about their child to a point where it's unhealthy?

Oh, that makes sense.

They're always flying over them being like, Oh, what are they doing? What's Mr. Per doing? Did he eat his poop again? Yeah, probably. He's a fucking dumb ass turtle who can't pick games.

Yeah.

I recently got into zoology.

Okay. Shane, what's your hobby? Well, we know what your hobby is, but what's your hobby you can say? What does that mean? You know. I don't even know, man. Work. Do you want us to say your hobby then?

Sure. Combos?

Yeah, he plays guitar. No, I just like guitar. Dude, you are a combos man.

Yes.

Yeah, PFT, your hobby is guitar. That is meant to attract women.

I play guitar, too. It's done a very poor job. I think the flight simulator cancels out the guitar.

But your number one hobby is You're really good at guitar.

No, don't say that. You are. I don't think that I'm really good at guitar.

But you are really good at guitar.

I think I'm a slightly above-average guitar player, and then I am a- Chicks love guys who play guitar. But I'm a below-average flight simulator player.

So what would be... Oh, Pug has entered. Pug, what is your hobby? This would be good. Pug. Going for a walk.

Good boy. Pug.

I think-I think it's all the Northern lights. So this guy's only... I think the only hobbies that he's talking about is guys who work out a lot and then guys who are into fashion?

Maybe. Well, he's a boxer, so maybe his hobby was just beating people up. Yeah. And that is is designed to get chicked because you can protect them. Let me Google.

What hobbies-Fishing girls love guys that catch big fish.

Are most attractive to women. Hobbies, cooking, exercise. So And outdoor recreation.

But I've also heard people say, Isn't cooking feminine?

Yeah, but I think that's something like, Girls, if you're a really good cook.

This guy would say that cooking... I don't think cooking is feminine, but a guy like this would say that that's feminine.

Yeah, politics, pets. Yeah, I guess pets. Okay. Photography. Hank, you do photography. Art and sport. I'd assume that's playing the sport, not sitting on our asses watching the sport. You think That's attractive.

We run some pickup.

Yeah, I mean, we don't have any. I think maybe I could say we are probably pretty funny guys.

Yeah, but that's not a hobby.

No, it's not. So, yeah, we have nothing. We have literally nothing in this podcast in terms of hobbies.

So is this guy wrong? I think the vast majority of guys do hobbies because they want to do something besides work.

I think he's just talking about people who exercise. That's their hobby. It's exercising and owning a boat.

Having money.

Yeah, those are the attractive things to women. Gambling, golfing, flight simulators, helicopter parenting turtles, combos, going for walks, max clogging toilets. I don't know.

Complaining to your deli guy. Yeah.

I feel like you're probably You clog your shower drain, too, with all that fucking hair.

Oh, you probably shit in your shower.

The Waffle Stop?

I mean, this is crazy. Wait, who told me there was a... Was it Mel Gibson? Someone said that Mel Gibson takes a shit in every shower he goes into.

There's no It can't be true.

Every hotel he goes into, he takes a shit. That's a funny... It's a good rumor. That is a funny rumor, though. Takes a shit.

No, there's a thing called the Waffle Stomp. It might just be an online thing. I don't know if people actually do, but people say that they do it. Do you want to know what it is?

Yeah, I know what it is.

I'm going to give people the opportunity to stop the podcast now.

I know exactly what it is.

Where you shit on the drain and then you stomp on your shit that's on the drain to push it down. Shane is ferociously agreeing with you right now.

About the Mel Gibson? The Waffle Stomp.

Is it a thing?

It's a big urban dictionary thing. Yeah, Mel Gibson does it.

Do people actually do that? I don't know. That's a hobby. I think it's like an urban dictionary.

It would be a hobby. Max, a lot of people have my back about the deli situation, saying very, very was too much. Shut up. They did. They were like, That's offensive to say very, very to a deli man. People were saying everything. No, they said that mostly. You probably saw three tweets being like, Oh, yeah, Big Cat, you're right. That's about right, yeah. I think it might have been two.

Max, by the way, I got a shipping confirmation. I completely forgot that we had ordered you a deli slice. That's going to be a giant box arriving.

Yeah, we got that for you. Ready. Yeah. Okay, that's the show. Let's do numbers. We got a little twist here. Max and I, I don't know how long this tradition will last, but we started this tradition. We're going to at least do it one more week, where we just decided we were bored on Thursday. We did 40 free throws, and the winner got the loser's number on Sunday night's show. Now, we set a Credit to me for being a great odds maker. I set the line at four and a half. I missed the last free throw to only beat Max by four. So he did beat me. I beat him.

Out of 10?

It was out of 40. I did beat him. I beat him by four, but the line was four and a half. It was a very fair spread.

What was the number made?

Don't worry. I think we made 32. We actually shot so bad that we made Pug and Shane leave and then come back and pretend that we had just started, that we were on our last 10 free We were like, All right, so I've made 28 out of 30, and Max... It was bad. Whatever. The cameras came on, we shot like shit. Anyway, Max has my number here, so I get to select a number. If it hits, it counts as Max's win.

Okay, I'm all right with this happening one time. This can't be a normal thing because I'm matched up against Max now. I can't have Max beating me. You can't be giving Max extra turns without my permission. Pft.

If Max wins with my number, do you know how much I have over him for the rest of our lives? That'll be a win. It will be the biggest Mickey Mouse. You can't win without my number. Win. Think about it. He's put himself in such-No. Don't care. I'll reverse it because I've already won. So if I win with his number. Also, PFT, I promise you I will not lose again. Okay. I will not lose again. We're going to do at least one more time.

I will not. And the line's always four.

No. The line goes dependent. So since I lost, it's now three and a half. I'll win that. If I win, then it goes back to four and a half. If he wins with my number, that's the biggest cock move of all time.

Win.

Yeah. You know what I've done, PFT, here. I put us in a very good spot.

Max knows it, too.

Yeah. Oh, He knows. He's fighting it right now, but he knows it. I'm not fighting anything, and nothing's happened yet. The reverse is true that if I won with maxes, I would spin it and be like, You can't win on your own. I have to take your number to win this. He's He's so fucked. He doesn't realize what he's done to himself. All right, so I'm going to select my number just regular, and then it will be yours. Okay. All right. Numbers. 20.

8.

46.

3.

I thought you were going to pick 20, and I didn't want that. Yeah. 99, Pug.21. I'll go with 1.

Okay. Who's yours, Hank?

Max, have you ever gotten this? 46. No, PFT, have you ever gotten this?

Not yet.

What's your number, PFT? Eight. Oh. 45. Oh, no, Hank. So close, Hank. We've already gotten it. Yeah. So Max just couldn't even get it with two numbers. No, it's terrible. What a loser. Damn, yeah. Damn. Dude, he's got... How many numbers you need to be able to get this? Probably 100. You can't even do it with two?

I'd How many shows have we done in this office?

What a loser.

How many times have we drawn the lot of ball here? Seventy-six. Was that a guess?

That was a guess.

You said it very assertively.

Wait, I want to just do one. This doesn't count for anything other than just for my own fun here. Max, pick a number that it won't be. I'm not going to pick-Pick one number that it won't be. I'm not going to be answering this question. Pick one number that it won't be. Nope. Come on, Max. This is for the people. Pick one number. No. Pick one number. No. One number that it won't be. No. Why won't you do this? You're being a baby. Three. Okay. 47. Wow, Hank, you were on it. 47 and 45.

I love you guys all over. See? I knew it wasn't going to be three. I'm coming for your love of yours.

Take me

I'll be gone.

I'll be gone.

I'll be gone. Take me on.

I'll be gone.

In a day or two.

All the things that you say, yeah, you live a life, though.

Just to lay those worries away.

You're all the things I've got to remember. Will you shine away?

Will I be coming for you anyway?

Will you shine away? Will I be coming for you anyway?

Take on me. Take me away. You're all the.