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Com/promos. Okay, let's go. Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of work to be done. No place to hang a lot of washing, and then I can't name all on the sun. Oh, no. We're going to rock down to... Electric Avenue.

And then we'll It's a part of my take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to part of my take, presented by DraftKings Play Picks. Picks 6 from DraftKings, the new fantasy app that packs more fun into less time. Download the new DraftKings Picks 6 app. Now use code take, and new customers, play five bucks, get 50 in Picks 6 credits. That's code take only on DraftKings Picks 6. The Crown is yours. Today is Friday, May 10th. Hank.

Dank.

Dank.

Dan K. What's up? What's up?

What's up, Henry?

Just had a quick question for you, Hank. What's up? The Boston Celtics lost tonight. They're now down one point in the series.

No, they're up one.

Excuse me, the Cavaliers are down one point. The Celtics are up one point in the series. The Cavaliers only won by 24, so that's good. People asking questions about the Celtics It's just one game. It's a long series. Just one game. It's just getting to it. Let them get to it. It's called prefacing your question with giving you all the facts, so I'm not giving you anything out of context. Got it. Okay, so some people will say it's just one game. There are other people that will say, Hank, the Boston Celtics, when you look at their record against the best teams in the NBA this year, could be known as maybe a cupcake merchant. Maybe they beat up a lot of bad teams in the East. Maybe they have a sub-500 record against the top six teams besides the Boston Celtics. I don't believe those people, but they are saying things like that. They're saying things like Jason Tatum, not a great shooter, and he seems to love the ball in his hands, seems to love taking shots. What would you say to those two camps of people out there? Good question. What's the question?

What would you say to those two camps of people?

What would you say? What would you say?

You weren't even listening. We had the best record in the NBA. We're the number one seed in the entire playoffs. We've lost two payoff games, and we're in a good spot. Okay. I think they're wrong. I think Jason Tatum just gets picked on. He's had nothing but success in his NBA career. He hasn't won a championship, but he's still- That's a wild one second you just put out there. What? What?

That he's a winner, that he's had a lot of success.

I mean, you rooted for fucking Alex Ovechkin for his entire career. Would you say the same thing?

No, I did not say that he was a winner before he won the Stanley Cup.

I didn't say it. I said he's had an extremely successful career and people just try and shoot him down.

No, I think you said he's won.

He's had a successful beginning of his career.

Nothing but success was the blow.

Nothing but success. That's just not true.

I would have never said that about Alex before he won the Stanley Cup.

Interesting. I don't know if that's true. He wasn't as successful as Tatum was, but they lost one game. It's the play-off. It's one game. It's the play-off. It's the play-off. I'm not going to let it get me down. No.

You guys are going to fucking kill the Cavs in game three, probably.

Bruins and Celtics own eight in game twos in their last eight game twos. Is that a fact? It's not a game two town.

Not a game two town.

08 in game twos, 14 and 14 at home in the last three seasons for the Celtics.

Yeah, not a game two town.

I actually saw a worse home stat. I thought it was like 9-11, but I will say I'm sick of these wake-up call games. Miami lose game two. It's a wake-up call. They'll bounce back. They'll figure things out and come back stronger. At some point, you got to just be like, It's the playoff. Wake-up time's over. Let's just come out of the gate every game hot and just step on their throats. Just do it. Celtics have the Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde thing going where one game, they look like the best team in the NBA, which they are, best record in the NBA. They earned that by winning the most games in the NBA, a PFT. You can only play who gets put in front of you.

I agree with that.

Good point.

Amen.

But then they come out in other games and look like they have no chance to get beat by 25 to a Cavs team that's not that good.

Well, the Cavs did play well tonight. Karras Levert was awesome. We told you, Donovan Mitchell would have a game where he shot well from three, and Evan Mobile was awesome as well. So the Cavs have guys, and they played really well.

Yeah, they have guys. Celtics should lose them. They live and die by the three. That's what it is with this team. When they shoot bad, it looks terrible, and when they shoot good, they look like the best team of all time.

So no panic, no nothing. It is what it is. You lose a game, wake up call.

Yeah, it's the same. It feels similar to the Heat series. I'm not going to be humble about it, but it's like they got to come out and dominate the next three games. They got to come correct.

They got to win the next game.

But I like, again, we had them on. Awls love them. I love them. Missoula is the guy that's going to get in their ass, tell them to figure it out. I don't know why didn't get in their ass after game one. I don't know what goes on there.

Who's ass does he need to get in?

He's got to get in everyone's ass.

The whole team. Everyone.

Top to bottom. Run a train.

Stack them on top of each other.

Also, remember, Hank, we are-So he's climbing the ladder. Going ass-to-Yeah. Okay, got it.

I think we're what? One game away from hitting Chrisopp's minimum.

Oh, are we? Of several. Yes, several. No, two. I had several as three.

Several is three. No, a few is three. A couple is two, a few is three. Several, I think, has to be like four or five.

I think several is three and up. I know a few is three, but I think three is also several.

So he's close to hitting his minimum.

I think you keep him out until Hopefully, we don't get to a game six situation, but save them for that. Don't rush them back.

I have a question for you. Yeah. Let's just listen. What?

No, I have a question. Seven hours later, the question comes out.

Okay, fine. You want me to just rip the bandana off and ask the question? I don't know the answer to this question. I think you know the answer to the question right now, and I think when your head hits the pillow, you might be like, Am I right?

That sounds like what you think the answer to the question is.

No, because I actually don't know the answer to the question.

But you're prefacing that way means- Hank does so much fucking interrupting when we're trying to ask him a question.

It's ridiculous.

I said, Do you remember the bandana I've asked a question? Yes.

You know what? I don't know the answer to the question. Just be honest. Next time we say, Is it okay if I ask you a question? Just say no. I can.

It's not. You don't talk.

It's not okay. It's definitely not okay with you.

Question time. Do you want me to give you my answer before I give you the question? My answer would be, Yeah. That would be my answer. Yeah, you know the question. What would your answer be?

My answer would be, I think so. Yeah.

The question is, is Jason Tatum the best player on a championship team?

Yes.

100% no hesitation?

Yeah.

Okay. Are you sure?

Yes.

Okay. All right, then we're good.

Then you don't even need to tell him the stat because you already said he's good.

You love your stats.

I have a stat. I won't tell you the stat. You cherry-picked stats. This isn't a cherry-picked stat. This is the opposite of a cherry-picked stat. There's a stat called BPM for basketball. It's like war. It's what you contribute to your team points Overall, when you're on the court. If you look, the peak, like Jokic this year was 13 plus 13.

How's he doing?

He won an MVP. Good point. We'll go to playoffs after because good point. And it tracks pretty consistently, like a peak Jordan year is 11:12, peak LeBron year, 11:12. The best player in the league, the best player on a championship team is usually up there in top 10, so much so that I look back. And the last time a team won a championship with a guy who wasn't on with zero players in the top 10 of the BPM was the Detroit Pistons. Now, you could make the argument that these Celtics are like that Piston team where the team is so good collectively that it doesn't matter. But does that make you a little concerned? Because if you go down the list, it's pretty much every single year, he's 16th.

What's Brown?

Brown is... Here, I'll find it for you. But it's every single year you go down. Jokuj last year was one. Curry, actually, the Warriors year was almost an aberration. Curry was ninth. Giannis was two, LeBron, five, Kawhi, six. When the Warriors won in 2018, that team, it was incredible. They had Steph and Katie, three and four. Down the list, it goes-I think you said Jalen was pretty far down there. Every team that has won a title has a guy who is a top 10 BPM guy on their roster. All right, I'm going to find it for you. But again, and here's where I'm being fair, Hank, the Wolves also don't have a top 10 guy from the regular season. So maybe this is the year that we have two teams that don't have, quote, unquote, one of the top five players in the league, although Anthony Edwards and Jason Tatum did finish. Did he finish five in MVP?

What about the... Is Luca, I'm assuming, is on there? Yes.

Let me get it for you. Shay. Oh, yeah. Shay. So this year, the The top 10 were Jokich, Luca, Giannis, Shay, Tyrese Halliburton, LeBron, Sabonis, Brunson, Mitchell, Kawhi. Those are the top 10 for this year. Hold on, I'm going to get it for you.

What? By that, you're saying it'll be a Knicks?

No, no, no. No, no. That's Histon's one of the titles.

That's not how stats work also. Any of those teams from the East make the finals. When you're talking about the winning team- The winning team. Historically. I mean, it doesn't take a stat to tell you this. It takes just watching basketball for the last, it feels like 30 years. The winner of the NBA Championship usually has a superstar on their team. Correct.

The Pistons would be the team that didn't. Yeah, and the Celtics team, to your point, is built... It's a team.

It is a team. That's what I'm saying. It could be the Wolves versus Celtics, and you could be saying, Well, this stat makes no sense because both these teams have proved the sum of the parts is bigger. Now, Anthony Edwards also is number 2 in BPM in these playoffs. He's ascending to a point. You know who's number 3? Here's a helpline. You know who's number 3? Who? Derek White. So it might be Derek White's team.

Derek White, MVP, plus 4,000.

That's true.

That is true. It's back to your fiction.

Then what's the argument?

But no, I'm going to take Hank Sight. I'm going to take your side. I'm going to take your side.

Jason Tatum, the best player on a championship team. Got it.

I'm going to take your side a little bit in this. If the Celtics get hot, if Tatum plays, he's very capable of being best player on the court in most games. He could do it, right? We've seen him do that. Like you said, he finished what? Fifth in MVP voting? So if he kicks it into high gear-I don't think so. What? Or you said something about MVP voting with Tatum? No. I thought you said something like that two minutes ago.

I think I said it. Jason Tatum, I think, finished fifth or sixth.

Okay, fifth. Yeah. There you go. He's up there in the conversation. If he plays an extremely high level for the next three, four weeks, five weeks, he's going to be, and they win the Championship, nobody's going to be like, Oh, I can't believe this no-name Celtics team won.

No, they're a really good team.

They'll say Jason Tatum is a superstar, and he carried them to this title. People remember Jason Tatum because he's already close enough to that level where you'd be like, Okay, the playoffs can turn him into a legitimate carrier of a team.

Yeah. Chris Stapps was 14, Jason Tatum was 15, and then Jalen Brown was 80. Derek White was 22.

So you need Chris Stapps back.

You need Chris Stapps back. Again, I think you guys are going to still kill the Cavs. I think you're going to still win the East. It was more of a bigger question. And again, my answer is Yeah, but at least... I don't know. He just doesn't... He took two shots in the fourth. He feeds in and out. Well, that game wasn't... Well, I mean, but you guys, what was the 10-point game going in the fourth?

More than that.

I think you guys got blown out in the fourth. He's averaging five points less in the playoffs than he did in the season. This is when Jalen Brunson is scoring 40 a night.

They have six players. He's got to step up, but- Yeah.

No, I think that actually might be I'm sure that goes on with Jason Tatum. Where has there been slander? I've asked a question.

No, just online and in the media.

I think he's an incredible player.

We're online and in the media.

We're both those. Yeah.

What do you say about Joel Embiid when these conversations happened?

Here comes Max.

Well, Joel Embiid doesn't make it this far. That was like, what?

That was like, max.

Oh, yeah. We all love coming in second, right?

Max was underneath the wrestling ring there, and he just popped out with a steel chair.

Actually, Max, according to Hank, Philadelphia Sports, they They've had nothing but success for the last two years.

Correct. Nothing but success.

Hank, tonight when the fourth quarter- I bet you Jason Tatum has played 700 more playoff games than Embiid at this point, and he's probably two years younger.

He's very good. But this is the time that we have to do this, Hank. You suffer a- Yeah, no, it's fine.

They were down 12 going in the fourth quarter. That's still a game. That's a game that you can still win. For sure.

Yeah, it was a bad game.

I think you guys just have these bad games, and you're going to be fine. But that was a question that I just asked because I feel like half the time I watch him, I expect him to be the best player on the court. I don't know when he's been the best player on the court in these playoffs. Jalen Brown has been phenomenal for some games. Derek White has been insane. Donovan Mitchell was great today. Donovan Mitchell has had games last series that he was out of this world.

But it's happened in the past four, five, six years. It's happened many times.

You know what this sounds like? This sounds like on inside the NBA. Game seven. Inside the NBA.

It's six years last year. True.

It sounds like on Turner when Shaq directly calls out a player and gives a personal challenge. Sounds like Big Cat is giving a personal challenge. Step up.

I'm fine. You're not wrong that this playoff, he hasn't been super, super, superstar level.

He's got to step up. Again, you're not in trouble. It's more that if he plays like this in the finals, I think you might be in a lot of trouble. Agreed. That's when you need him to step up and be like, No, I'm also one of these guys.

Yeah. If there's one knock against him, it would be that he didn't really step up against Warriors.

But that experience- He was 19.

Basically.

Okay, so prediction for Saturday night?

Win by 33.

33. All right. Back on track.

That's good. Back on track. No, they still won't be on track.

No, if they win by 33, they have to win by 33. That was mean.

It's true. He couldn't do 25.

We're not even taking into account any of the losses that they have. That doesn't factor in.

No, he's saying they're going to- Oh, no. Oh, BFT.

What?

If they win each, Hank's saying, If they're going to win the next three games by 33 each, they'll win by 100.

So okay. What did I say in the beginning? Point differential will be 100 plus. Yes. So right now it's one.

Yes. But I don't like what you're doing to my co-host right now.

I don't like what you're doing.

I know exactly what you're saying. They win the next game by 33. I didn't realize At 67. I didn't realize that the points were against you and losses didn't count.

Do you not point differential? Do you know what that means?

In metrics.

Got it.

You don't understand the fact that right now you guys are up by one point. Correct.

That's why I said 33.

Yes, I'm aware of this. But if the series goes seven games, then the Cavaliers could win, and they could have a 10-point win. They could have an eight-point win, a 20-point win, and then you don't get to 100. I'm not bad at math.

Got it.

How does that not make sense to you?

No, it does not make sense. I think it's going to be three wins, 33, 33, 34.

Yeah, he's saying three wins by 33.

Just to make it nice and even.

Yeah.

I'm saying you got to do better than that.

No, three wins by 33 would make it nice and even.

No, I guess a little- You want a little extra, 101.

That's not what I'm thinking.

Well, yeah, you got an extra one.

All right. Would you say we should bet on the Celtics on Saturday night?

I'm not... Spreads, I'm not worried about spreads.

We're going to beat them by 33. That's one thing that I know.

We should ask our correspondent, when the Sixers go out of the playoffs, Max does become Boston Max. Max, what What do you think about the Celtics right now?

I mean, it's game two. Who gives a fuck about the Cavs? Everyone's crying about nothing. We're the Boston Celtics. We're going to beat the fuck out of them the next game. Beat the fuck out of them again. Beat the fuck out of them again. Then the Pacers and Knicks are both going to be dead by the time they come us. That's a clean suite. Clean suite. Then who cares about the West?

Max, what do you think about your Bruins?

The thing about hockey is I know a lot about hockey, and I know that my Bruins are going to win in five Five.

Five? Five.

Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five.

We're not a game two city.

Not a game two city. I like that. No. I like that.

This is Massachusetts.

Yeah. Not a game two city needs to be on a quote card. Okay. Other games we got to talk about. The Pacers and the Knicks. How many things did Rick Carlyle submit to the NBA?

I think 78. I think after the game was over, Rick Carlyle, I believe it was in the first two games. Yeah. But there are 78 fouls that were either incorrectly called, not called at all, or just blown by the refs in some circumstance. I don't know if he included the Fantom double dribble because that was...

Okay. He definitely included that. All right.

I'm going to stand up a little bit for Rick Carlyle. If my team is playing in a game and there's a flag and the whistle's blown or there's a flag on the field. To me, that's been called already. And if you pick it up or you take the whistle back, then you fucked me over by going back on your incorrect call. Correct. Now, it was not a good call. He very clearly didn't touch the ball with two hands, so it never should have been called in the first place. Ended up being, I think, a fair outcome to the play. But as a fan or a coach or a player on one of those teams, once you do that, it's going to really piss me off if you take it back. Yeah.

Two things can be true The Pacers have had a bad whistle, and they got screwed. I mean, game one that we talked about on Wednesday, that game one kickball call sucked. They've gotten a bad whistle, Rick Carlyle being a gigantic baby. Dude, play T. J. Mcconnel more. Keep him in the game. He was the guy who was making things happen. He played phenomenal, and then he took him out for the last seven minutes. You blew a double-digit lead. You gave up 130 points to a Knicks team that has no one left. Start maybe pointing the finger at yourself and not, Oh, they don't like small market team.

Small market team should have been the excuse after at least the third loss. You got to wait on that because especially, his whole case is, it's Indiana against New York City. The NBA wants the Knicks to advance. I don't know if he's seen the Knicks in the playoffs ever, but the NBA doesn't do a very good job of advancing the Knicks. If that's been their agenda, they've been really, really bad at executing that agenda. Correct.

I'm fine with a coach trying to basically make a statement to get the refs to maybe give them a better whistle, but the small market thing. Like, dude, come on. Also, you have made some mistakes in the series that have cost your team. You should have won at least one of these games. You didn't. You're still in this series because the other side of it, the Knicks, are essentially the night from Monty Python. Mitchell Robinson is out for the rest of the playoffs. Ogie is out for at least game three, but it feels like more. Jalen Brunson missed the entire second quarter, which credit to the TNT crew for really giving us great timely updates when the best player in the series just wasn't there for a quarter.

They had to talk about Reggie Miller and how Reggie Miller used to play against the Knicks, too. That was wild. It was very crazy because I was watching the game and I was like, What's Jalen doing? Where is he? Is he taking a break? And then I was like, Wait, no. Tib's isn't a coach. There's no chance that Jalen is taking a break. And just nothing happened until right before halftime. And then they went back. We saw the replay. The replay was no help either. No. I don't know. He tweaked his foot or something.

I thought it was groin, then it was foot.

Yeah, but he came back, and he's a tough motherfucker. Yeah.

I mean, he did what he's been doing all these playoffs. He owned the game late, and he's so much fun to watch, and he's just incredible. I've had some Knicks fans ask me, yes, he is. Anthony Edwards and Jalen Brunson are now officially emerging superstars. I still think you have to do it for a couple of years or maybe one more year because they all both did it last year, too. But they're Absolutely emerging superstars and all over the place. But I don't know what the Knicks do now. They're just losing guys left and right.

They've got what? Seven guys now that can go?

Josh Hart. I think Tib's just have to have Josh Hart play two positions at once. That guy just never comes out.

He could do it.

He's a fucking dog. And that was a great moment at the end when he went up to the mic and was like, Hey, I think they're saying, Fuck you to Reggie Miller. Yeah, that was really good. That was great. Why did they fly him in for that game?

I think it's Spike Lee asked for it.

That's It sucked. There's no need for him to be there, just brainstorming out loud. But yeah, that was crazy. They just didn't give us an update on the most important player in the series for an entire quarter.

So he's questionable right now, right? He's questionable. They don't know if he's going to play. My guess is that he's going to try to play, and that Tibbs will be like, Please try to play. But that seems like one of those injuries that's going to get worse the day after you heard it than it was at the time.

We're getting also to a point where I think, and I've seen Max, he's starting to be like, The Sixers' Knicks series is over. Now it's my Villanova guys. The only guys they have left are Jalen Brunson, D. Vincenzo, and Josh Hart. They're just going to try to win this title with just Nova.

Yeah, well, that's what they've been saying. It's like they're still best friends, and it all goes back to Villanova. Max, this would be a championship for Philadelphia. It would.

I think Kyle Neptune would be… You'd have to give him a contract extension.

Disagree. Okay. But I do think that what's going on in New York right now only further cements that Jay Wright is the best college basketball coach of all time. Okay.

Yeah, that's appropriate. Okay. He's going to be like... You know how Coach Cal had all those jerseys of his first-round pics in the basement. This Knicks team, if they do happen to win a championship at some point, Coach Wright is definitely going to have championship banners of this Knicks team hanging up if he ever gets back into coaching.

Were we accursed to the city of New York? We lived there for seven years, and now they're on the precipice of having both teams in the Eastern Conference finals. Yeah. You said it from day one, Hank. All the time. You just wanted them to be good so that you'd have something to vibe off of.

Yeah. We might maybe be getting Boston, Boston. New York, New York. New York, New York.

Yeah, which is crazy. You might just have to go live there for a couple of days. But yeah, I think the Pacers will probably win on Friday night just based off... Is it Friday night or Saturday? I think it's Friday. I think it's Friday. I believe. I hate when they do these weird schedules where it's like- It's double header tomorrow. Yeah, but where the Nuggets played Monday and Friday, and then everyone else is still going every two days. Yeah, that was weird. I think the Pacers will get a good whistle. I think with the Knicks injuries, the Pacers will win game three. But the Knicks are like, it's crazy what they're doing because they just keep losing guys, and they just keep fighting harder than everyone, keep offensive rebounding. Jalen Brunson keeps being better and better. It's nuts.

I could see them continuing to just do this and have everybody be like, How the fuck is this happening?

It's fun to watch, and the Mecca is crazy. It's buzzing. It is buzzing. Then the Last NBA game we had was the Mavs evening the series, 1-1, Luka on one foot on no feet. No feet, no arms, no arms, no teeth either. Had an awesome game. Pretty pretty awesome game. Pretty awesome game. Pretty awesome game. Pretty awesome game. Pretty awesome. Pretty awesome. Pretty awesome. Pretty awesome. Pretty awesome. Yeah. Pretty awesome. Yeah. Pretty awesome. Yeah. In seven. It was also the Tim Hardaway game and the P. J. Washington game because both those guys were lights out.

Tim Hardaway was really good. P. J.

Washington was seven for eleven from three.

Also, real quick, credit to Hubie Brown. Give a shout out to Hubie Brown. Think about Huby Brown. Positive thoughts towards Huby. The dude is 90 years old.

And he's beloved.

Nobody is out there being like, Huby needs to get off the air. He's mixing stuff up. Huby is sharp as ever. The game started at what? 8:30 tonight? 8:30 Central? Huby probably wakes up at 6:00 PM, goes to the game, goes home, goes to bed, I don't know, 4:00 in the morning. You know how old people are. He gets the continental breakfast at 7:00 PM. But Hubie's absolutely crushing it.

Yeah. He's a revelation when you compare it to flying Reggie Miller in.

Yeah, just fly Hubby Brown around.

I thought this series was going to be a dogfight back and forth, so I'm not surprised the Mavs won this game. And Luka, I will see. Luca's injured. Luca also likes to let you know he's injured. Oh, yeah. He really likes to let us know he's injured.

Because even when he's not injured, he's injured. Right. Because maybe you'll get a really late call.

He might lead the league and hit a big shot limp.

Yeah. No, he does- He might be the big Ben of the NBA. He might be.

He could be.

He does two things. He'll pretend that he's injured after he makes a shot, or He'll get mad at the ref after he makes a wide open shot where nobody came close to touching him, and he's still mad about something from five plays ago at that same ref. He'll scream at the... He's always angry about something.

Yeah, you could actually get Luca because, yeah, you're right. When he gels at a ref, his injury goes away. When he's yelling at a ref, the ref needs to be like, Are you injured or are you yelling at me?

Are you mad? It's like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. It can't be both.

Right. It's like when my kids are like, when they don't want to eat their dinner, they're like, My tummy hurts. I'm like, Great, we won't have dessert. They're like, No, my tummy doesn't hurt anymore. That's what Luca is doing. When you yell at a ref, it's like, So your leg doesn't hurt? No, it still hurts.

Yeah, and there was blood on one of his sleeves tonight on his leg.

He's being extra. He's so good. He's being extra.

What he was doing a really good job of was just staring down at the blood on his leg all the time to make sure everybody knew that there was blood on his leg. Yeah.

What shirt did they wear in the first game? Was it white?

I think it was a combo. I think it was different. Oh, yeah, that's right. It was different.

I didn't like the blue tonight.

Yeah, it was all blue. It looked like it was just seats.

Well, also, that's the Mavs colors, too.

Yeah.

I guess they have white as well.

Yeah, but to the untrained eye from a distance across a big room, it looked like it was just empty seats there, but I'm sure it was loud.

This series is going to be very fun. Should we talk a little hockey? The Rangers are an absolute wagon. They're up 3-0 against the Hurricanes. In the hockey world, the Hurricanes, I think, are the big-time fraud alert team because every year, the advanced analytics love them, and they just do this. The Rangers haven't in these playoffs. So you actually... Did you guys go to overtime in any of your games?

No.

Did we? No, I don't think so. I was going to say maybe you will lose less.

Yeah, on aggregate, but they went to overtime. Yeah. I was trying to spin zone. The Capitals stink. Don't patronize the Capitals. I'm not trying to patronize. They're a bad team. The Rangers, 7-0. Last time they were 7-0, won the Stanley Cup. 94. 94. It feels like 94.

It feels like 94. Mark Macier.

Oj in the news for death again. Yeah.

Yeah. And Pavo Burry and the Canucks, and those Canucks uniforms rocked. They were bad but awesome.

Yeah, that was a very fun game.

The Vancouver crowd, they love their hockey. Yeah. That Vancouver Oilers game, I have to admit, I did fall asleep, and I was shocked at the score because it felt like the Oilers had that game. Even in the first period, it was very workmanlike. Oilers get a power play, they score. Okay, we're off and running. Everything's good. And the Knux just... Period of the Week.

Period of the Week was the third period of that.

To come back and win that game. That's my nomade.

Third period. Absolutely.

That was awesome. I mean, the Knux, biz told us, Knux have no business. Or not no business, but they didn't have the expectations of being this team this year, and they just keep finding a way.

Yeah. Hank, credit to your Bruins, though, for scrapping it up a little bit.

That was an awesome fight.

Well, yeah, he got punched right in his head.

Well, he got cheap shot. I was going to say that Pasta taking that fight was awesome because he's not a fighter, and K'Chuck is a badass.

Pasta asked the coach for permission. Yeah.

Well, no, I don't think he asked for permission. I think he told him he was doing it, and You could see the coach be like, Oh, okay. You want to do this?

Go ahead. That's what you should absolutely do in a game where you get your teeth kicked in the playoffs. You should always get into a fight at the end of it. Yeah.

The swimming magic wore off a little bit, but he was Unconscious before that. So water always finds its level. But it'll be a big bounce back. I'm interested to see the bounce back tonight. You got to load up on some pasta props.

Yeah. Could Chuck's not getting a suspension or anything, right? That was a cheap shot at the end. Yeah. I think the first- He hit him on the way down. Well, I think the- And then hit him again. I think the hit on the way down was borderline okay because they're still fighting. But the one when he was all the way down, it's like, Come on, dude.

Yeah, you can't do that.

Yeah, don't do that. Then the stars win. They beat the avalanche. We got some good series going except for the Rangers Hurricanes. That's over.

I did not watch any of the stars' avalanche tonight, but in theory, I know that that's an electric series. So next time we have biz or wit on, I'll just be like, What a great series that was.

Two great teams. You tell us how great that series is. Okay. I had some rapid fire things if you guys are down for it.

Yeah, I got one thing, too.

You go.

Okay. The NFL is king. Yes. Is this a rapid fire thing? No. Okay. The NFL is king. They're doing Christmas games again this year. That's not the news. The news is that it looks like they're going to be maybe two games, all the Christmas Day games on Netflix, which is interesting because Netflix has never broadcast an NFL game before. Correct. I don't know who the answer is going to be. Is Netflix going to have their own announcing crew?

You said maybe braided.

Are they going to rent Tom braided for a day and then he'll go on Sunday and work at Fox?

Continue the roast?

Yeah, continue the roast. You You know what? Here's the thing that should really piss the NBA off about this. The NFL can do whatever the fuck they want, and they're going to dominate the NBA in ratings. Not only are they taking away Christmas Day from the NBA, they're also taking away the ability of people to comfortably change the channel to the NBA games during commercial breaks, quarter breaks, and halftime because signing out a Netflix, turning on to cable, if you're watching on cable, or to a different streaming app, such a pain in the dick to do that. And so they're taking away even the pity ratings that you would get for a quick two-minute check-in on the NBA Christmas games.

And remember, Christmas is on a Wednesday this year, and the NFL had previously said they weren't going to touch middle of the week, Christmas Day. Remember, last year, they were like... Because there is a rule, they don't do Friday night games because of high school football. But last year, they're like, Fuck it, we'll do a Friday afternoon game, Black Friday. Now, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when the game is going to be. They're going to play it.

And we'll show up.

Yeah.

We're going to watch it.

Do you think there's a chance any of our teams are in it?

On Christmas?

Yeah. How many games are there?

I mean, our teams-Ax probably has the best chance. They do love scheduling the bears in primetime for a national audience. They love doing that.

I think we might get a primetime game. I think we actually all might get primetime games against each other because of the draft.

Oh, because of the rookies?

Yeah.

Are we playing each other again? Yeah.

The bears and the patriots are that weird added game. You know how- We played each other. I know. With the 17-game season, you play a whole division, and there's one added from the other conference, and for some reason, we drew you. Then we play again.

We're going to play again. I hope it's Thursday night, as is tradition.

Tattoo Bet.

Tattoo Bet. Run It Back. They're probably going to It's later on the season, so it might even be a divisional game.

What? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, because it's Christmas Day. Yeah, because they had the-How many games were there? They had the Raiders and the Chiefs last year. How many games were there? Two or three. I'm not sure. Give us a whole-I heard the perm bet thing brought up. I just want to say for the record, and I've said this a few times, I wanted to do the perm bet during the live stream.I agree.Put memes in charge of that. Was it last year? Yeah, put memes in charge of that one. And he was like, Okay, I'll do it. And then he told me two days after I told him to do that, he's like, Yeah, I don't know if we're going to be able to get the person to come out. I didn't have enough time to schedule the person. I will do a perm. If somebody max…

That's good accountability.

If Max or me schedules the perm, I will absolutely do it.

I love that. Now we have to make it a moment, though. It would be boring if we just did in the middle of summer. It has to be during football season.

I agree. Yeah.

We should wait. During it… Like Super Bowl.

Yeah, we should wait.

Super Bowl perm. We should wait.

I'm down to do it whenever. Yeah.

We have to do Dinger's Only soon.

Oh, yeah. Base.

We'll do it for July fourth.

Yeah, July fourth. Yeah.

Okay. Ready for my rapid fire. First up, shout out Colin Cowered. We don't really like him, but credit to him for going backwards hat. Coach take with JJ Redick saying JJ Redick could not be a coach because he's wearing a backwards hat.

Yeah. Keep fucking that chicken.

I mean, once we got to the coaches... By the way, JJ Redick is going to be the next coach the Lakers, right? Lebron is really defending. Lebron defended JJ Redick against Colin Cauer.

It feels like he could be. It feels like JJ is the hot name out there.

And this is based off no information, but I'm more basing off just seeing LeBron defending because LeBron doesn't interact with Colin Cauer.

Yeah, and you know what? When we asked JJ when he was on the show how he would feel about coaching the Lakers, he said they have a coach. He didn't really answer the question.

They have a coach. That leads me to my next rapid fire. It sucks to have to coach. Now, sucks in a relative term because these guys make millions of dollars and they get paid to not work. But Frank Vogel got fired from the Suns today. Darvin Ham got fired last week. That's got to be the worst job in sports as a head coach right now is signing up to coach a super team because no matter what happens, it's never the player's fault. It's always the coach's fault.

Yeah, I think the trick is to coach a super team, but it's when they're in their late 20s, early 30s. If you get older superstars that are joining up to form a super team. Also, Bradley Beale. I don't know. Can you call the sons a super team?

Well, they tried to. They tried. It's like the Eagles when they were a super team.

Yeah, it was an attempted super team. Dream team.

Oh, yeah, dream team. It was an attempt at big three. Like, Darvin Hamm was not a great coach. Frank Vogtle has a championship. Maybe he wasn't a great coach for the Suns. It doesn't matter.

He had a It's a decent regular season.

Right, but it doesn't matter because if you flame out in the playoffs with one of these teams with a big three or a super team, you are the fall guy every single time. It's never the players.

Do you think maybe Pat Reilly is a secret genius? And that's why when the heat, everyone was saying, Pat Reilly is going to come down and take over the job from Spolstra. Was he a genius by just being like, I'm going to let this guy coach the team. So that way he'll be fired. I won't have to fire myself.

And Spo is just He's one of the best coaches. But yeah, I don't know. If the Lakers offered Spo $15 million a year, he'd probably have to take it because it'd be $15 million a year. But I think he would think twice being like, If we don't win a championship, I'm the only guy who's going to get paid.

How much do you think he gets paid?

I don't know what NBA coaches. He probably gets seven or eight.

I don't know. I'm doing California tax math right now compared to Florida.

Oh, good point. Yeah.

Good point. It'd probably have to be closer to 17, 18.

I have to deal with Gavin Newsom on a on a regular basis.

You have to go to French Laundry with him.

Let me see. Eric Spolstra salary. Eric Spolstra salary. Oh, he already makes 15 million a year.

Oh, yeah. He's going to need like- Oh, so fuck it. I was way off. He's going to need like 23.

15 million a year. He deserves it. All right, so what if it was the... Yeah, so if they offered him 30, pop is number one at 16.

Okay. Yeah. Your point is valid, which is if you have old superstars that uniting with each other, and they still have the championship expectations, and they've never played together, and they've had long careers before trying to make this team work, you're signing up on your own death warrant right there. Yeah, exactly. If you don't at least get to a championship, there's a chance you could be fired. Yeah, right.

The next rapid fire thing, we should have talked about it with the Celtics, but that was some peak sports talk radio with Tony Maz.

Felger Maz.

Kings. You saw this PFT?

I did not see this one.

It was one of the greatest sports radio moments. When I say greatest, the worst. He said that if the Celtics win the Championship this year, doesn't it feel a little hollow because there's not really any good teams?

It's a good point. I hadn't thought about that.

All-time take. That was a, We don't have anything to talk about take.

No, they're all-time contrarians.

Hey, quick question for you. If the Celtics, if they win the Championship this year, doesn't it feel a little bit hollow? No. Because the East is so bad?

No.

Okay.

Yeah. I'd say it's a quick no.

Did they actually have a discussion about that?

Yeah. I saw a 30-second clip, but yeah, he was like... Felger was like, No, it's the NBA, dude. He's like, Well, why don't they just play a YMCA team and call it a championship?

They're the number one show in town group. It's crazy.

It's making a lot of sense.

They riled up the city of Boston for the last 15 years.

But what you're not considering is- Bruins, Celtics, Patriots, Red Sox. What if they only played against girls teams in high school, and for some reason, that's the NBA schedule and they win?Holo.Think about it.

But yeah.

What's the difference between that and this?

I just love when sports talk radio guys are just like, You know what? Let's just fucking... We have nothing really to talk about. Let's just say that this championship doesn't... That it doesn't exist yet, doesn't count if it does exist.

This is what's so funny about Boston. They've won so many things that they're already figuring out reasons to not get super excited about the next championship.

It was crazy. All right, my next one was, did you guys see the new iPad Pro? No. People are very mad because the iPad Pro commercial, it's basically it looks like, fuck, I'm losing my words. The Smash thing that they use where they smash things, the compactor.

Yeah, the pneumatic press.

Yeah, there it is, pneumatic press. It's iPad Pro, it's a pneumatic press, and it's pressing down on all these instruments It's like a piano, a trumpet, because it fits all that in an iPad Pro, and people are very upset.

People are going to get mad about it.

They're like, Oh, so we're just throwing away thousands of years of cultural, meaningful things for fucking technology?

Wait, then the iPad Pro does not get crushed by it?

No. Is that what you're saying? No, it all goes into the iPad Pro.

Oh, all that shit gets combined. I thought you were going to say people are getting upset because people love watching those press videos. Oh, I do, too. Because it's therapeutic to see watch things get crushed. If the iPad doesn't get crushed, people are like, What the fuck? You got to crush the iPad.

Yeah. No, they're like, Tim Cooke, way to ruin the world with your new Sleek iPad Pro. I just laughed at it because it was a commercial.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of bad stuff that goes into that, too. It's a commercial. If you really want to talk about everything that's happened. Yeah.

I wish it would... It would have been cool if they had just made that. Maybe the out-of-order guys will do it where it's just the iPad Pro crushing gambling apps, porn sites. They're like, Look, you got it all right here.

Everything in there.

Yeah, all your Streaming services right here. All right, next rapid fire topic, Greg Doyle suspended.So.

That, yeah.Loved it. Why? What happened?

Good call. Do you like that? Good call. Hey, you like that?

I like it, yeah.

Do that a little bit more and I'll treat you It will be just fine.

The other clip is so funny from that press conference, too. When he talks to the coach, he's like, So you got the keys to that? Yeah, to that. What are you going to do about that?

A lot of journalists were actually being like, That's an overreaction to suspend him. I just like it because Greg Doyle's a sculled and him getting suspended. This is one of the funniest ways to get suspended. Hey, why did you get suspended from covering one of the most popular athletes in sports right now? Well, I did the heart signal to her, and I was really creepy.

No, it's just like he got suspended for being a creep. Here's what's bad about suspending him. At some point, he's going to come back from suspension. Correct. Then he is going to have to apologize to Kaitlyn Clarke, and he is going to do that in the most creepy way possible.

Yeah, it actually sucks for Caitlin Clark. Yes. Caitlin Clark probably doesn't want him suspended, just wants him sitting in the back of the newsroom and just not even asking questions anymore. Because now when he does come back, it's a whole other story where she has to accept his apology, all that bullshit.

What she should do is say, I don't want him in the room. Yeah. Then the indie star, they'll have to say, Okay, because she's the biggest sports... She's a story in town right now. Yeah. It's like she is the face of in sports across the world. If they just tell him, No, you can't... Because if he does come back, he's going to try to get cute with his apology. Yeah, of course. He's going to say something that's going to make it worse. She's going to feel like she has to accept his apology because she probably just doesn't want to deal with this shit anymore. Then it's going to be a very weird dynamic. Just don't let him around the fever.

He should actually not be suspended. He should just have to go to every game with a T-shirt that says, I'm not a creep, but I ask creepy questions.

They should just make a Doyle rule, which is not allowed to talk to women. Yeah. Don't talk to women, Greg. Talk to women.

Well, how would he have found out that he was wrong?

He already talked to the women in his life. Right. He talked to... Just don't talk to women as part of your job. Yeah, ever.

Okay, last one. This one is probably the biggest one. We have to come to the defense of one of Max's heroes. Max, I assume you've seen this.

Shady McCoy?

No. That's one of your heroes?

Chip Kelly? No. Shady McCoy, yeah.

We have to come to his defense because we've been there. Jason Kelsey is fighting a war online against horse Twitter because he implies that Secretariat might have done steroids. If everyone for a long time, AWLs, you remember this for new ones, welcome. We almost got canceled by Horse Twitter in 2016 because we called Nyquist a fucking pussy ass bitch for not running in the Belmont.

Yes. We said that he was getting fat, and that's why he didn't run. He looked like Eddie Lacy. I'm just getting word now that there may have been some photoshop done of Nyquist, making him look super overweight, to the point where Nyquist got bullied off Twitter. Yes. He deactivated his little horse Twitter account. We did that. We did that. We know what you're going through. I still believe in the First Amendment when it comes to insinuating and slandering horses. Jason, speak your truth.

It's just a very funny controversy to get in where he just was like, Yeah, they did a lot of steroids in the '70s, and his heart was three times bigger. That feels like steroids, and people are mad.

People are very mad.

Some people still have Secretary posters on their wall.

Listen, Secretary is the greatest athlete who ever lived. Correct. It was funny how he apologized on Twitter, because he gave an emotional apology, being like, I'm sorry for making accusations towards this horse that's been dead for 40 years.

It's ridiculous. It's a ridiculous controversy. We stand with you, Jason, Kelsey. It's fucking ridiculous. We're talking about a horse, and I love horses. I love betting on horses. But saying Secretariat did steroids should not ruin anyone's day. You know what?

I'm going to go one further than Jason Kelsey. I will say they should dig up Secretariat's body and test him. Drug test him. Drug test him. Oh, But wait, it's the only record in sports that has never been broken in terms of speed or power for all these years. Every other sport across the entire planet has gotten better since the 1970s. We're saying horse racing is the one that hasn't?

He's making great points.

Think about it. Dig that horse up.

Making great points. Also, Max, since I saw this trending and I was like, Let me see what's going on here. I went to Jason Kelsey's page, and I think he recently just followed me.

Really? Yes.

He follows 48 people.

That rock.

That's sick. You're one step away. I knew that would excite Max.

Max, it sounds so creepy right now. No, that's just cool.

I did message him. I was like, Don't apologize. We have your back. I'm going to wait to tell him that we have a producer that would literally die for him. I think that's more of a month or two down the line.

Don't embarrass me.

Well, do you not want me to say that? I don't know.

Oh, wait. He follows me, too.

There we go.

Max, does he follow you? No.

He follows me, too.

Do you guys follow? No, he doesn't.

He does not follow me.

I'm going to follow him back.

Yeah, he follows us.

He followed you first?

Yeah, same with me.

That's so cool.

I was like, Wait, I don't follow Jason and Kelsey?

I'm going to DM him and tell him not to follow me.

What the hell? No, don't even bring me up.

Hey, our producer, Max, He's a real big horse fan. He was very upset with what he said about Secretariat.

For the record, confirmed, doesn't follow me. I just-Shit.

All right, yeah. So maybe me and PFT need to just hit him on just double strike, being like, Hey, could you quickly follow this guy?

No, don't embarrass me.

Max, here's how much I love you. I would trade. If he's trying to keep it at 48, take me off. Yeah, me too. Put Max in.

Well, no, wait. What if we both get taken off?

It's an empty threat.

He's got to follow Mr. Per, too. Empty promise. Yeah. You know two guys who have a direct line to Jason and Kelsey.

No, that's cool. That's sick for you guys.

It is sick.

You know what? I'm not going to tell him to follow Max. I'm going to actually say, Max is so crazy in love with you that he has a can of soup that he refuses to eat because your face is on it.

That's probably better, right? Our producer, Max, wears your face on his shirt like 90% of his face.

And on his own face. Yeah.

I I just want... Yeah. Yes.

He wants to be you. That is correct. Or at least inside you.

You want to remake face off?

No, I mean, Max, not like that. I meant like you want to look like... You want your skin to look like this skin.

Inside and out, I would like to be like Jason Kelsi, if that makes sense.

But would you be inside him if offered?

No. Stop this.

No, but, Max, if we could- You're already doing this with the other Kelsey.

If we could take your brain right now- No, I didn't say no. And put it in Jason Kelsi's body, and then you would just walk around with your brain. But now you are Jason Kelsey. Would you do it?

For a day?

I'll say it. You know what? I'll say it. I don't believe that Max is actually a fan of Jason Kelsey until I see video proof of Jason Kelsey inside of Max.

Yeah.

That's fair. That's fair, great.

We're going to get involved so fast.

Yeah, this is bullshit, guys. You're ruining this.

We've met him before.

We've hung out with him. No, that also sucks. We were supposed to hang out in the summer.

I know. Bear Olympics, which we will not Well, no. I don't want to say we will not.

I don't think we're backing out.

We can't back out.

I don't think we are going to. Unless. No, I don't think we're probably not going to back out of it.

Will we? I don't know. Can we? No.

We're definitely maybe not going to back out.

It's going to be so hot in Vegas.

Yeah. It's during the week.

We're closer with Jason and Kelsey now than we are with Will and Taylor, and they backed out.

Yeah, but we told them that we'd do it when they told us it was different days.

Yeah, we can't back out, right, Hank?

Hank, should we-We can't. We can't back out. No, we won't. No, we can't. No. I will be there no matter what. Yeah.

We can't.

We're going to golf.

Yeah, we're going to golf.

It's going to be so hot.

It's going to be so hot. We're going to golf at 4:00 in the morning. We'll be fine.

I never thought it would be this hard to get us out to Vegas to gamble in a casino where you literally can't lose.

Well, I think the part where you and I have to compete against a bunch of NFL offensive linemen. Well, not Jason.

You're drinking. Not Jason Kelsi.

True. He's not really an NFL offensive lineman. He's more just good friends of ours. Yeah, my buddy. Yeah.

My buddy, JK.

And soon to be inside of Max. Yeah.

He was on stage at a Mountjoy concert. I was showing PFT. That was cool.

That was all you were just showing. You were showing PFT pictures of Jason Kelsi.

No, it was a video.

He played a video. You know those people that are in the crowd during rock shows? They have their phones out and they're recording it and they're like, What are these people recording it for? Are they going to go back and watch it later? No, they're recording it so they can get posted online. Then Max can show me his phone of somebody doing that.

Max, you basically did like, Here, you want to see a picture of my kids? But it was Jason Kelsi at a concert?

It was cool. Look how much funny it was. I asked PFT if he was a Mountjoy fan. Also love Mountjoy. Mountjoy Rocks.

Yeah, a good band.

Jason and Kelsey approved.

Jason and Kelsey approved.

Which means us approved, too.

Us approved as well.

The thing about us, we have so much in common with Jason. That's right.

That's a fact. Okay, good opening to the show. We have Kendrick Perkins. Awesome interview with Perk. Then we have Firefest, four-way because Memes and Jake are both out. So Max chips into Firefest, and Hank is in one. He's in a pickle. He's in a pickle on Firefest. So let's kick it to ourselves with Kendrick Perkins. Okay, before we get to Kendrick Perkins, a quick word from our friends at Uber Eats. You can get almost, almost anything at Uber Eats. Basketball players are here, and you can now get almost anything you need for a game day delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a deep bench delivered, but you can get deep dish pizza delivered along with bread, sticks, and wings to share. A layup, no can do, but a logger, yes, can do. We can even deliver a few six-packs if you plan on hosting the watch party. Three-pointer, you're on your own. A free cheese dip, it's on its way. Buckets, can't help you out there, but a bucket of chicken, that's Uber Eats. A game going in OT, no, but a delivery of TP, yes, absolutely.

A big play, no. Paper plates, yup. You can even get a pack of napkins to go with it. A Championship, unfortunately, no. But a French dip, now that's a yes. No matter what you need to make it through the postseason, get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. I use Uber Eats pretty much every single day. I get almost, almost anything. I got a leaf blower from Uber Eats the other day. Did you really? Yes. You can get anything.

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What are you seeing?

Well, one, I appreciate you, fellows, for having me on. You all continue to do a great great job because that's exactly what you all doing it, and you all doing it your way. That's first thing first. Thank you. When I look at the Minnesota Timberwolves, the number one thing that pokes out to me is the togetherness. The number two thing is They have a bunch of dogs, okay? And it's led by Anthony Edwards. I said this in March that when it comes to the young up and coming superstars, I've never seen a leader like him, and he's the best young leader in the game of basketball. And so when you look at their personnel, right? Everybody was wondering last year, could call Anthony Towns and Rudy Goldberg, can they coexist? The answer is, Hell, yeah, because Katz could stretch the floor. So when I'm looking at their perimeter defense, before I even address the interior, I'm looking at an old school Mike Conley, who this year, this season, he was holding his opponents to 31 He was 31st in the league for his opponent field goal percentage. Jay McDaniels, he was fourth in the league, opponent field goal percentage.

Anthony Edwards, he was 10th in the league, opponent field goal percentage. Then you have Rudy down there who's ready to swat everything. So when I'm looking at this team, I'm like, They don't give a damn who you are. And when I started to watch the series against the Phoenix Suns, and I'm watching Rudy and Karl Anthony Towns go But Kevin Durant on the perimeter and slide those puppies, and they switching out on the pig and rose. I'm like, Hold on. Jimmy Butler couldn't pull this out of Karl Anthony Towns when he was in Minnesota, and Donovan Mitchell couldn't pull this out of Rudy Gober. And so I'm thinking about it, and I'm like, Man, this team is serious. And then they get to the defender champs, and they kicking their eggs. And the game two, real talk, game two was probably one of the greatest performances defensively that I've ever seen in my damn life. It was a clinic.

By the way- It was a clinic. I love the way you say dogs. I love the way you say dogs.

I love the way you say Gober. It's like he's ice cold.

Yes, it's Rudy Gober. Yeah, Rudy Gober. Like I said, you're like a for French. You know what I mean? It was a clinic.

If you're the Nuggets, what did they do? If you're in that locker room, what is said after game 2 and what's the fix?

It's nothing that you can't say. Either you got it in you or you don't. I know Michael Malone, he said something the other day, I think it was yesterday that he said, Hey, we're the defending champs, and I need guys in this locker room who are going to believe and go down to Minnesota and get a game three. Well, it's easier said than done when you're dealing with a team that don't give it down. And Anthony was followed up, and he said, We know they're going to come in and give us their best punch, but guess what? We're going to punch back. And when you have that type of confidence, it's just on a different level. I don't know if there's anything they can do. Murray is not 100 %. Jamal Murray is not 100 %. He's dealing with injuries. That's bad time, and especially when you face a McDaniels. Jokić, he's shooting 42 % from the field against Minnesota. Karl Anthony Towns Rudy and Nas Reid, they ain't going no well. So I don't know what else they can do. Just think how important Jeff Green and Bruce Brown was to this team last year.

They don't have them.

Yeah. And so with the Nuggets, you said there's not a lot that they can do. The matchups are an issue for them, and especially how they're making Jokuj play in places. He's a little bit uncomfortable. I saw you referred to them. I don't know if you said that they were babies, the Nuggets, the B-word, or if you said they were playing like babies or acting like babies. But have the T-Wolves turned the nuggets into babies?

No, I said... So this is what I said. I said the T-Wolves got them crying like babies, okay? And what I said was that they The Denver Nuggets are doing all their damn crying. They got to, what the babies going to do? If you're going to do all their damn crying, what the babies going to do? If you're going to shed all the tears. They had Michael Malone winding to the referees. They had Jamal Murray crying to the referees. They had them uncomfortable.

Yeah. No, it was. It was crazy to watch because I don't really know. I feel like the only fix the Nuggets really have is they got to try to maybe play faster and get some guys in foul trouble. But it does feel like the defense from the Wolves just bothers the Nuggets to a level that we haven't seen. And they also got to play better. Jokuj is a three-time MVP. He's got to play better. Michael Porter Jr. Makes like $30 plus million a year. He's got to play better. They've been tested for the first time in the last year and a half, and how they answer this test will tell you a lot.

It'll show their true character. It'll show their true character. I mean, you never know what's their true character until they hit adversity. Now, all of a sudden, Jamal Murray throwing the heat pad on the down floor.

Yeah, it's crazy to watch because of how easy it has seemed for them in the last year and a half. Really, two years they've been coming on like this. Also out West, Oklahoma City. You use a term that I really like about the Oklahoma City Thunder. We like watching them play. They're fun. You said that they play agenda-free basketball in Oklahoma City. Can you describe what agenda-free basketball is and why it's beautiful to watch?

Well, I'll tell you, it's not the same type of basketball you watch from the Detroit Pistons or the Washington Wizards. It's the complete opposite of that. Agenda-free basketball is when you're watching a team pass up good shot to get great shots, right? And you don't see that in a lot of young teams because everybody want to be the hero. When you're watching the team, guys pass up from actually getting the actual assist to just getting the hockey assist, the pass that's going to lead to the assist. Okay, defensively, you're watching a team that's talking, loading up, boxes and elbows, communicating switches, challenging everything at the basket. That's a gender free basket basketball because they don't look at the box score to see what type of numbers that they're putting up themselves. The only number that they care about is whether or not they win the game or not. And so when I watch them, it's just a beautiful thing to see because they're clapping up. Luke Darks is doing his thing, and they're encouraging one another. Let me tell you what you could tell, especially in basketball, when a team is together and they have no hidden agendas whatsoever.

Just watch the bench. If you watch the bench when the guys who are not in the game, if they up off the bench and they're clapping in their room for their teammates, then you know that team is really, really special. And guys then lost themselves into the ball club.

You played on teams I imagine that were agenda-free and also teams that had agendas, that had players that had their own agendas. If you're on the bench and you decide whether or not you're going to get into the game, you're going to stand up, you're going to be a part of that on the sidelines, what is it about the players on the team that make the guys on the bench respond or not respond?

Well, I think we respond to, and that's a great question, because when you're on the bench, you're always going to respond to what the average fan is not seeing, right? And that's the little things, and that's the things that is rehearsed behind closed doors in the film room. So if a guy is helping out another other guy and he sees a rotation and he rotates and he get a good contest or a great contest, and he's on his high horse from leaving in the paint and running out to the corner three to make a guy miss, that's going to get the bench hype because we just went over this in the film room. It may not mean much to a person who's looking for a highlight dunk or a crossover, step back, but it's everything to the guys that's wearing the same jersey as you because we was in that same locker room with you watching a film and knowing what the coach is preaching. Now, if we see a guy that's trying to get his, then I Obviously, the vibe is different. Or we see, for example, if I'm a big man and I'm supposed to be talking the coverage on the high pick and roll and let my guard know that the screen is coming and for my guard to force it left or force it right, and I don't do my job and my guard get hit with a screen and now the ball handler comes off and you have a clean 15-foot pull-up jump shot without anything happening, then I'm not doing my job.

That means I'm not engaged. That means I'm not focused. Those are the little things that matter.

The Thunder crowd is incredible. We joke, they lead the league in wearing the T-shirt, the free T-shirt. I didn't realize, but before the game, they have a T-shirt cam that basically That's what they shame everyone who doesn't put on the T-shirt. They just go around and put on the T-shirt. When you were playing there, because you were on the Thunder at a similar point where it's like a young team, a fun team, going deep in the playoffs. What is it like playing in Oklahoma City, and especially for the opponent?

I could curse up on that.

Yeah, you could say whatever the fuck you want.

God damn it.

It was fucking unbelievable. When you You're motherfuckers in OKC, that city, that state embraces you like no other. Because you're in competition with nothing else except for colleges, but for us on a professional level, shit It's just you. It's just you. And so, man, just when you're doing things and you're winning, man, it's just a different type of vibe. Do you all remember when that franchise got to Oklahoma Oklahoma. They used to have that meter because it used to be so loud in there. And it's a real thing. I mean, literally feeding off the energy of the crowd. And there's no disrespect to Boston because Boston was great. I mean, they get you He was in the history. But when that city gets behind you and you're playing winning basketball and they start to believe, there's nothing like it.

It does seem different down there.

Did you have an MVP vote?

Yeah, I did have the MVP vote.

Who did you vote for MVP?

I voted for SGA.

Yeah. So you think he should have won MVP?

Yeah, I voted for Shay because listen, hear me out. Okay, Shay, last year, first of all, Oklahoma didn't even make the playoffs. This year, they're the number one seed in the Western Conference. Okay, Shay is third in the league in scoring, averaging 30. He's first in the league in steals. He's shooting fucking 54 % from the field as a shooting guard. Do you realize that they have big men that doesn't shoot that percentage around the rim? Okay, and then the top of it all, when you look at it, it's like, damn, what else do he have to do? What else do he have to do? He has the best record in a tough Western conference, a tough Western conference, where the ninth and 10th seed was 10, 11 games above 500. And so you think about what he's doing with the second youngest team in the NBA, I mean, how does he not get the nod? So many guys were deserving of it, okay? Whether it was Luka, Jokey, Rich, even Jalen Bronson. Anthony Elwis. So many guys could have won the award, but I just thought what the SGA did and how he carried this team and brought this team along, I was like, he's for sure deserving of the MVP.

Yeah, he's had an incredible, incredible season. So we're watching. I think we can safely say the Celtics game is over. There's a minute left. There's a minute left. They've gotten absolutely smoked by the Cavs. Our producer, Hank, here sitting on the couch. He's a diehard Celtics fan. He loves you. But what do you say to him and to the Celtics? Because the Celtics are still the best team in the East. One game doesn't change it. But you can also say at the same time, when they look bad, it looks so bad.

Hey, first of all, fix your body language, okay? It's going to be okay. Fix your body language over the other top. All right, there we go. There we go. Go ahead and sit up. Look, I'm happy that the Celtics lost. You know why? Because they need What is? They need to be able to face adversity. They need to be able to weather some storms, right? The only thing that I hate about it is that they work so hard all season long to establish a place of dominance It's in a home arena that don't lose games at home, right? That's supposed to be a place where teams is like, You know what, man, we're coming up in here, and nowhere in hell we could get a win. I just think about that 2008 season reason. Us having home court advantage actually was the key reason, the number one reason why we won the NBA Championship. It was the number one reason because we knew once we got you back to the garden, we was going to spank that ass, and we did that. But the Celtics need this. The Celtics need this because now you can expect a different version of the Boston Celtics come game three, and it's going to get them prepared for the long haul, and that's winning it all.

Let's go, Hank.

Come on, Hank. Spank that ass. Spank that ass.

What is it, though? They have weirdly struggled at home in the last two years or three years, I think it is. They're about 500 in the playoffs at home. What is that?

I don't know. It almost feel like they don't have a sense It's an urgency at times, and they get too relaxed. But that comes with the best player on their team, Jason Salem. He got to have that motor of being consistent, of I'm going to apply pressure every single time. Paul pierce, a lot of people used to give so much credit to Kevin Garnett, KG, the big ticket, and rightfully so. But Paul Piers took it so personal when somebody, a matchup came into his house, whether it was LeBron, Kobe, Joe Johnson, whoever it was. He took it personal. It was like not near. And that's what Tatum got to start doing. You can't let people walk in your house without taking their shoes off and then kick their feet up on your coffee table and tell you to get them something to drink.

Come on, Hank. Fair point, Hank.

You're letting them just walk all over your house.

You're getting the Cavs a bottle of wine. You're opening up a fresh bottle of red for the Cavs.

And Hank, he gets also down on himself. He doesn't stay- Hey, it's a seven-game series, brother.

That's facts. I did see you say after game one, it was dominant performance from the Celtics in six.

Yeah, it surprised me.

Yeah, that's Celtics in 6.

Yeah.

So the Cavs play basketball. They get paid to play Two?

Yeah, you're going to lose games in the play. It's okay. Okay.

Yeah, you'll be okay. See, Hank had expectations going in this series that they were going to win by a cumulative score of 100 points.

Still in play.

They were going to win four games by 25 points. How much did you lose by? Was it 25? Did you lose by 25 points?

No, I think they lost by 24.

All right, so we're plus one.

You're plus one. You're plus one. 3-30 pieces. You got some make-up. You're fine.

Perk, do you think that there's- You're okay. You think that the Celtics You missed Marcus Smart, missed that edge?

I mean, that's to be determined. They got to complete the mission in order for me to say that. But again, they gave up Marcus Smart to get who?

I mean, it's a fair point. I think that- But what I'm saying, they gave up Marcus Smart to get Christophe Zinkas.

Am I right? Yeah. Okay. The one concern that I have for the Boston Celtics is, can Christophe Zinkas be healthy for four seven-game series? Right now, the answer is no. They're going to need them. They can't win at all unless they have them, and he got to be healthy.

Yeah. So speaking of health, the Knicks who have been electric these playoffs, your guy Big Body Brunson, that's what you've given him his nickname. Love that nickname. But now, I feel like they got no one left. It's crazy. Mitchell Robinson is out. Ogie is out for game three, questionable for Jalen Brunson. At what point is it like they're just losing too many guys? I know they're up 2-0, but it feels like, especially with their bench, they're just running out of bodies.

I mean, they are, and it's unfortunate. As far as making a run, when you're trying to make a real championship run, you need a lot of luck, and that includes being healthy, right? But last night, Tom Thibodeau did a post, well, an end game interview, and they asked them about O'Gan Anobi. And before he turned off with that snal and that fucking attitude, he said, Next man up. That's been their mentality all season long. You got to realize, man, when it comes to Dante, Big Body Bronson, and Josh Hart, those guys were grown right from Villanote. They know how to play the game the right way. They know how to compete at a high level. Those three have a different type of confidence that when they step on the floor together, they feel like they could compete and be anyone in the league, and they have shown us that. And they feel like they could make anybody around them better. We're watching Azalea Hardingstein. He's going out there doing this thing, almost had a triple double last night. You're watching McBride come in off the bench in spurts and have big moments, being aggressive. When you have that type of leadership, you're capable of winning any type of game.

In terms of Rick Carlyle and his comments after, do you think those were baby comments? Because I feel like I was a little too much crying. I understand trying to work the rest. Thank you. Yeah, but that was too much. Don't give up 130 to a Knicks team that has four guys.

Now you're preaching. Now you're preaching. Again, look, you're a man at the rest for reversing a call that it wasn't a double dribble, but you're not mad at yourself. You're not mad at yourself. Look, my grandmother, I love her to death. She got Alzheimer's, right? And It's part of life. But she would have remembered to put T. J. Mccartlin back in the game. Damn, Rick Carly, you didn't forget. Not one time, you forgot twice. You didn't put him back in the fourth quarter for game one, and you didn't put him back in the fourth quarter for game two. He has been probably the best player to guard Jalen Bronson, and Jalen Bronson has been having his way in the fourth quarter. You didn't even think about putting them back in. And on On top of that, listen, I understand the Knicks, their mindset, the way that they attack the offensive glass, but you're not going to say nothing about the offensive rebounds, especially late in the fourth quarter. It's things that he needs to be worried about and addressing for us with his team, then be crying about the officials. And then the last thing, the small market BS.

Dallas and Oklahoma City playing against each other, right? Minnesota playing, huh? So what is he talking about small market teams want to foul opportunity as well? You got your change. You up double figures.

It's loser talk. I'm a loser. Big Cat, our teams stink. We're very familiar with loser talk. Anytime you send your video staff to make a compilation of 78 missed calls and then send them to the NBA, it's going to do anything. That envelope is probably not even going to get opened. But you had your video staff. You had your video staff, sit down for hours and make a compilation of missed calls. That to me seems like you're fighting a losing battle and you're spending a lot too much energy fighting that losing battle.

Yes.

We're going to get back to Perk in a second. He's brought to you by part of my cheesecake. I love part of My Cheesesteak. I love Part of My Cheesesteak. It's delicious. We ate a bunch of them the other week. I'm going to get some this weekend, actually. Saturday is a Cheesecake Day. Yes. A lot of good sports on TV. I'm going to treat myself to a part of my Cheesecake. It's a pickup and delivery-only restaurant bringing you craveable cheesecakes, tenders, loaded fries, and desserts for lunch dinner and late night. Hank, I know you've been working out a lot. Max, I know you've been working out a lot. Big Cat, have you been working out? I have. It's workout season. That sounds legit. Big Cat, you've been working out a lot, right? I have. Yeah, so we've all been working out. Part of my cheese steak has twice the protein of other cheese steaks. I'm just going to say, they've got better protein. I don't know if it's twice. Their protein is better. They got the best protein in the world. If you're going to be working out, eat a part of my cheese steak, get those gains in.

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Do you have any animosity towards Rick Carlyle for the two free throws he made you take, like 15 years ago? And how much did that suck? So for people who don't know, it was Paul pierce got kicked out of a game, but he had two free throws. And then the opposing team gets to pick whoever they want on the other bench, and they picked you, and you missed them both. When you had to come in cold off the bench, were you like, Fuck, this is going to suck?

As a youngster. And I'm standing at the free throw line on the road by myself. And for us, with that situation, I at least wanted to see the first one go in. They would have gave me hope to make the next one. But I wasn't mad to recall I was about that. You know what I mean? I thought it was pretty fucked up. He picked on me, but it is what it is. But it's no beef. I actually showed Rick Carly, I actually showed him a lot of love over the season for being able to make that transition. Because remember, a lot of his players from Dallas didn't have a lot of positive things to say about him, right? They didn't have a lot of positive things to say about him. So when he got to Indiana, he started to adjust his coaching style, letting those guys play. So it's all love. I just wish he stopped that damn crying.

I would hold a grudge if I were you. I would be like, It was embarrassing. You made me stand out there all by myself and shoot free throws. That's most people's worst nightmare.

Yeah, picking you off the bench. That's fucked up.

You brought up the finals that you played in. What about the other finals when you unfortunately injured your knee? Do you You think you guys win that series if you don't get hurt?

Absolutely. Look, our starting five never lost the playoff series when everyone was healthy. That's a fact. At the end of the day, we still should have won that game. We was up 14 points going into the fourth quarter, and a couple of breakdowns, guys were fatigued, and all of a sudden, Ron Artes goes for 20 and 10, the song Hero, I believe, Kobe Bryant walk out the game with 15, 16 rebounds. Because whoever dominated the glass in that particular game, whoever dominated the glass in those games, won the basketball game. That's who won the series. Yeah.

They missed you. Yeah.

All right. So I want to get some of your spicy takes that you got going right now. You think LeBron James should retire?

See, you know what? Let's have Let's have an intelligent conversation.

Let's do it. I agree with your take, by the way.

I don't want to have an intelligent. Okay. So I was following up on my big brother, Michael Willborn. Okay? We know that Willborn believes that Michael Jordan is the GOAT, right? And Wilborn went on a rant talking about the firing of Dornan Ham and how LeBron and AD lack accountability. So I went on first with Steven 8, and the topic was brought up about... The topic was, LeBron James, 10 head coaches in 21 years, right? Basically, does it say something about LeBron James having 10 coaches. And I'm like, it does. And I'm like, I wish he would retire, because at this point, I'm looking at what else is it for LeBron to accomplish? He have nothing else to accomplish. Because Because even if he wins another championship, he still don't have six. So the MJ people out there in the world still going to say, MJ got six. Okay, so you're playing in every single season that you're playing and that you don't win a Championship because the expectations when you're in the Laker uniform, especially if you're LeBron playing at an elite level, it's going to be what? Championships. I don't give a damn if he's in a wheelchair.

It's going to be Championships. And so every single season that you don't win, then you give more animosity or more arguments to come at you about the GOAT debate. And I wasn't attacking LeBron legacy or saying, His Legacy. We know he's the all-time leading scorer in NBA history. We know he hit 40,000 points. But when it comes down to His Legacy, His Legacy now is measured on the GOAT conversation.

I like that.

The firing of Robinham does not look good on him.

I like that take, though, because it's saying that if LeBron James continues to play basketball, even at a high level, he's just proving all the people out there that are haters. Yeah, you're right. He's not MJ.

Thank you.

And they're going to find something. It's a weird situation he's in.

Yeah, but listen, even if I couldn't find and I wanted to so bad, I couldn't defend them. I couldn't go in my brother Wilborn or Steven Nade about that particular matter. They were right. I had to agree with them. I couldn't lie.

What about when you're talking to Mad Dog? When you have a segment with him, do you have to go back to a basketball almanac, back to like, 1963, and get some stats ready for him?

Look, I only been on twice with Mad Dog, and I don't give him an opportunity to go back there for. But I must say, what are you mad about? Those rants are legendary. Even when I'm not on, I want to listen to that shit.

Yeah, he's very talented.

No, he's incredible. I think we agree because you're obviously an NBA guy, but we're four football guys, and we thought the hypothetical about the NBA NFL thing was stupid. And there's no NFL players that if you said they had to do it in the next month, there's no NFL players that could go and play in the NBA in the next month. I think maybe no one will just agree on this hypothetical. That's just why it exists and why we do it every couple of years. But do you think there's some NBA guys who could play in the NFL? I think it's very small. I don't think it's 30. I think Austin Rivers is a little too much with that. But I also think there's zero NFL guys who could play in the NBA next month.

How did we get here?

It's a July argument. We should have done it in July.

Right. But you know what? Look, I have a list. I have five players. I think I got six. I did a big list today of five players. I said Marcus Smart, Anthony Edwards, Russell Westbrooke, Jalen Sugs, and LeBron James. Those five guys, I believe, could stop playing basketball right now and go find a spot on the football field. They had the mentality. They still got the athleticism. They got the size. They can go find a spot. And I forgot one key person, Luke Dort. Luke Dort could go find a spot as well. That's it. After that, I was like, No, he too soft. He can't get it. But I was just like... And Austin actually was supposed to be in the day, but he called in sick, talking about his stomach was hurting or whatever the case may be. So they're like, Perc, we need you to do the big list. I'm like, It's not even my fight.

We heard it. Yeah, so what do people get for... Again, no one's ever going to agree on this. Everyone's got their sides. But what would you say that people get wrong the most about current NBA and the level of skill and player that's in the NBA right now? If you would understand this, you'd understand that it's impossible for someone from the NFL to just show up and be an NBA player.

Well, I think it's more so the coordination part of it, being able to do a behind the back, between the legs, step back on a consistent basis at an efficient level. I think they take that for granted. It's the IQ of the game, being able to do it in that moment, being able to have a guy on your hip and come around and pick and roll, keep him on your hip and split the defender with a crossover in between and left-hand scoop. The coordination is just on a different level. But look, I don't want no smoke with any of the football guys, okay? Big swag, good And JJ Wild and Miles, Garrett. Look, man, we all cool, big Perk cool, man. I respect everything that you all are out there doing on the football. I want no smoke.

Yeah. I feel like you could have played, though. You would have been the answer to that question back in 2008.

I'm telling you, tight in and DM. That was a problem. That was a problem. Texas football, baby. Yeah, Friday night light.

I also think it's, and I understand it, NFL players, they're upset because they think their toughness is being questioned. No one ever questions the toughness of it. Being in the NFL is an insane thing to be able to do. And that's why I thought maybe a couple guys. There are a lot of guys in the NBA that if they got hit, they would be like, No Mas, instantly.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, they no Mas instantly right now in the NBA, let alone the NFL.

Anthony Davis would not I like going to training camp and getting hit in training camp for sure. No chance. It's a guarantee. So you had Sugs number one, right? Jalen Sugs. Is that because he's got cousins, right? Terrell Sugs is his cousin.

No. You better check Jalen Sugs' resume.

Yeah, he was Mr. Football in Minnesota. Was he really?

Yeah, 1,500 passing yards. I believe 600 rushing yards, threw for 12 touch downs, ran for eight. He was really good.

Yeah, he was really good.

He was recruited by Ohio State and the Brefs.

Okay. No, he was really good.

And Terrell Sugs is his second cousin, too.

There we go.

Okay, good list. But no Yannis on the list.

I don't know. Once you start getting to that level of being like 6, 8 and above, I got to see footage on it. I saw LeBron James play football in high school. I saw what he did in Ohio. I ain't seen Yannis play football. I don't know. I don't know if he could play receiver and catch I don't know.

Somebody else tweeted me a really good idea, I thought, for that debate, which was Wemby under center on the goal line just snapping to me, sticks his arms out. It's a countdown. It's like the Drew breeze, except you don't have to jump.

Yeah.

Not a bad idea. So who do you have in the finals and who's your champion this postseason?

So I got the Celtes coming out of the East. I got the Minnesota Timberwolves coming out of the West. And I got Anthony Elwis, Finals MVP, Minnesota taking it all.

At 22, it would be quite something.

Yeah, but he got an old soul.

Yeah.

He got an old soul. He does. He's different. Don't he make You look forward to watching basketball when he plays? Oh, yeah. I can't wait till tomorrow. I was upset when game two ended because I said, damn, I got to wait all the way to Friday to watch this man.

Yeah. No, I've been saying that all playouts, when it's not an Anthony Edwards night, I'm bummed out. I'm like, well, what the hell? Like, yeah, I watch these games, but I wish Anthony Edwards was playing in it. It would be nice. Hey, I got a dumb question for you. Kendrick Lamar versus Drake. Do you have to take Kendrick Why? Just because of the name?

No, but I actually like Drake Delivery Bell. I think Drake came the way he put... What he put into it. Like with Kendrick Lamar, I got to be like, Let me put it on. Let me repeat and listen to this again. I get lost. But Drake, he simplified for you. He shoot it out there and do what he do. I just hope that it ends. I'm like, When is it going to stop? Okay, the first one, Drake, shot out there. Kendrick responded, Drake responded, Kendrick responded. I'm like, Is this about to be an all summer thing? Because I don't have time for this shit.

They're both going to accidentally do an album.

Yeah, I said.

Whoops. Kendrick is going to keep going after him, I think, just every week, another Drake song.

I just thought maybe because Kendrick is a somewhat unique name. You just be like, I got to ride with Kendrick's no matter what.

No, no, no. Okay. I try to shy away from the name Kendrick and get called Perk.

Yeah, Perk's good. I like the name Kendrick, though.

Perk has no negative connotations to it.

Okay, Perk, we love having you on. This is always so much fun whenever you're on. I had one last question for you. It's a rowback question, rhoback. Com. Promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback. Com, 20% off. My last question is, and this is maybe just an excuse to hear you say the word dog again. Can you give us your top three dogs right now in the NBA?

Oh, that's a great... Okay. Great.

Yeah.

Well, number one is going to be Anthony Edwards. Yeah, Rob Wauw. Rock Wilder. No teacup poolers, okay? Rockwild. Now, it's a certain type of dog you got to be. No teacup poolers. I'm going to go Anthony Edwards. I'm going to go Jalen Brunson.

Yeah.

Bigbody Bronson. 6 foot, not athletic, leading the playoffs and scoring. You got to be some type of damn dog. Damn it, he's dead. At number three, I got to go with Josh Hart.

Oh, okay.

So the Knicks lead the league in dogs.

Can you explain why?

Yeah.

Josh Hart didn't play what? Four consecutive games without getting a minute rest? Yeah. And still, when he lead the game, he still got more in the team.

It's crazy.

He's the best rebounding guard in the playoffs. Imagine averaging over 11 rebounds at 6-5 in today's game. You got to have to arm. Got to have some type of, you know what I'm saying, some real dog in, you shit.

Yeah, he absolutely do. For a guy that's 6-5 to average that many rebounds, is it more about his dog, or is he also a sneaky smart player? Is he an intelligent dog?

No, because he going to get that in traffic. It's a difference if O'Bigg is boxing out. No, when you're going to get offensive rebounds and snatching them in traffic, when you shoot a free throw, when you shoot a free throw and you miss your own free throw and you go get an offensive rebound and put it back, that's having a dog mentality. There's nothing else past it.

Yeah. Dog that plays in traffic.

So the Knicks lead the league in dogs.

I like that, yeah. Yeah.

They got two dogs.

So think about it. My top three dogness is pretty damn good. You got Anthony Elwis, who's undefeated in the postseason right now, who just knocked off Kevin Durant, Grant, told him about it. He told him about it. Oh, yeah, you're my goat. And then knocked him off. Before the series, he said, Oh, everybody think that Bradley Bill and Devon Booker are the best two guys in the League, but I feel like I am. And when out there and bust their ass. That's having a dog mentality. And now he's telling the world, Oh, Jokuj, yeah, we got to be on our P's and Q's. He's the best player in the world. And then he goes out when he's doing what he's doing right now to the Dimple Nuggets.

Yeah, it's all facts. Dogs.

And Jimmy Butler is like, he's a dog. He's definitely a dog, but he's the dog that's behind the fence and doesn't actually have to get into the fight. And he just does the barking.

Yeah, but he in the dog house because he got to crib.

Yeah, a lot of dogs. Yes.

Yeah, he barking from the house. When you have some of those dogs, you go to your partner house, or when you was younger, your friend house, or your neighbor house, they have a dog barking, but he never come out the house. His dog's out. Yeah, that's Jimmy right now.

So you're You're walking by in the street and you're getting barked at. Yeah, beware of dog.

All right, well, Perk, thank you as always. We love having you on, man. You're the best, and good luck with the rest of the playoffs, all the shows you're doing. You're working hard. You watch games. I know you have that beef. Is the beef squashed with Chuck?

It wasn't no beef. I just told the truth, and they got their feelings about it. I wasn't trying to take a shot at them. It just came out naturally. When they were talking about the Knicks, and I was like, They don't know a damn thing about the Knicks because they don't really watch basketball. Whatever. I got bigger things and other things to worry about, like actually focusing on the game of basketball. This is the most crucial time of the year.

I had one last question. You're running, mate. I know it's a sensitive topic, but Big Baby Davis, he actually said today that he's going to be able to go to prison and not eat cheeseburgers, so he's going to get in shape. Do you still talk to him at all?

Yeah, I actually talked to Big Baby about three days ago. How's What are you doing? Three days ago. And it wasn't done. It was just a phone call checking in on him. I didn't even ask him about the situation. I knew he was dealing with it. But Big Baby, man, he from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He's going to handle that time. He go do the time. The time ain't going to do him.

Yeah. And it is a great spin zone to be like, I'm probably just going to get in really good shape.

Yeah. I mean, he go go do it and come on home.

Yeah. Maybe make a comeback.

Read a few books.

Yeah. Big three. Back out there. All right, well, Perk, thank you again. I know you got a crazy busy schedule. We love having you on, man.

I appreciate you all, fellows, and keep up the great work. Real talk.

Welcome back to another Firefest of the Week brought to by our good friends over at Morgan & Morgan. You know what really sucks? Making a promise that you're going to dunk in nine months and then having to pay a lot of money for it. You know what else really sucks? Backing your car up into a telephone pole that somebody didn't paint in cautionary yellow in the parking lot.

Just driving head-on into it.

No, not head-on. It's called T-Boned. T-boned. I got T-Boned. You wouldn't know anything about T-Boned.

Backed into it again.

No, you're more of a hamburger helper guy. I'm a T-Boned guy. You know what doesn't suck? Calling Morgan & Morgan so they can help get you what you deserve. They can't help any of these firefests that we've had in the past, unfortunately, although they might be able to sue Hank for my car. I'll look into that. They can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when you are injured. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople. Com/pmt or dial poundlaw529 from your cell phone. That's Morgan & Morgan. You can go to forthepeople. Com/pmt or dial poundlaw529 from your cell phone. If you're injured, hit up Morgan & Morgan. They will fight for you. Their fee is free unless they win.

Okay, let's wrap up. We got Firefest. I'm very excited about Hanks, Henry. Also, Memes is out on a bachelor party. Jake is calling golf all weekend. Go listen, please. We're very proud of Jake.

He's a Jator Live. Yeah.

Crushing it. He's calling Max's group.

Yeah, he's calling Max's group. He's been crushing it with the golf coverage. Been picking up... What is this? Third tournament this year so far? Please go watch. It's just Me, PFT, Hank, and Max here. Max has a firefest for us, but Hank, we always start with you, so go ahead.

Yeah, I have a couple. The first, Memes isn't here, but Mr. Per, two nights in a row. Jinks. Two Artbreaking. Correct.mega chokes.Mega choked last. The fact that it was back to back. He had the stars two nights ago. They blew a three-goal lead, and then he had the oilers last night. He had a hezzy hay to pick the oilers. Thought it was a lock. And just an all-time joke.

Also blew a three-goal lead.

Maybe a period of the week, third period.

Yeah. Mr. Perry, and he also memes has been getting cocky when his teams go up 3-0. Yeah. Then he starts tweeting these AI things that he's addicted to. By the way, tune into the PMTV. If you missed it, it released Thursday night. Mr. Per picks his NHL and NBA champions.

Oh, he's a very good term.

I did put it in.Do.

You know what he picked? Yes. I'll watch. I don't want to spoil. You'll be happy.

No, don't say anything.

Wait, will he be happy with the NHL or NBA? You don't know.

Maybe both. You have to tune in to find out.

I hope he picks both Boston teams.

Me too.

Do you, though? Because he sucks right now.

Well, as long as Memes doesn't do the AI, which I'm sure he will now because he wants to...

Jinks you. Have you noticed that Memes is getting very, very protective over Mr. Per? I've noticed.

It's crazy.

He won't let anybody look at the turtle. Right. He's like, Where are you going? He's sleeping right now.

All he does is stare at it. He's like, Oh, still sleeping.

I think he's in love with Mr. Per.

I like how this is the most we've ever talked about Memes. No.

The one show. I was walking in the show the other day, I came around the corner and Memes was kissing Mr. Per on the lips.

I think he actually, when he takes Mr. Per home, he just puts him in the front of his underwear, drives him home that way.

That's how they sleep. That's his bed. Yeah.

No, Memes is obsessed with Mr. Per, which is good.

That's good.

It's very good, but it is a little weird because it's a turtle. I think it's good. It's a turtle that does nothing but sleep and shit in its own water.

He's also very cute, though. Yeah, I know.

He's the cutest.

My other Firefest, which I alluded to before we recorded, is that I might get caught up in some legal action. I'm not sure how this works, but I parked at the airport when I went home this past weekend, and I came back, was pretty hungover coming back. It was a struggle getting on the plane, I told the guy next to me that I had food poisoning in case I puked. Probably just reeked like booze, though, so I don't think I was really hiding anything.

So embarrassing.

Yeah, no soda zone. I fell asleep. No worries. Get back to in the airport had a boot on it.

Oh, no.

It's because, which I still am trying to figure out, it's not easy dealing with the DMV, but I guess I had red light car violations. Oh, yeah. But I hadn't got anything in the mail.

Have you checked your mail? Yes.

Okay. I think it's like when I moved somehow my address to an updater, it was violations I didn't know about. Had a boot on my car, had to walk all the way across the parking lot to the boot place, pay It wasn't a crazy amount, but I had to pay off the... It was two or three red light violations, and then wait an hour and a half for them to come take my boot off.

Wait, so they've got license plate readers at the airport that scan every car that's going in to see if you have outstanding tickets? Yes. That It was a fucking racket.

It's essentially like when they do the Iron Bowl free ticket giveaway and they get everyone for not paying their child support.

Well, it was like that. Did you? Also, when I was pulling in, it was crazy busy, and they had me park on a curb. There was a bunch of cars on the curb, but there were signs on the curb that said no parking, but they literally were directing people to park there. When I got back, I was so mad. I was getting ready to fight, being like, I was looking at an attendant that told me to park here, and they're like, No, you just have three red light tickets.Okay, soI don't even know what that means.

Well, I collect them like Pokémon cards. I get one a week. For what? If you go through. There's a couple intersections. You got to know which ones. It's not even... I don't go through red lights. No. I go through yellow lights that turn red. If it's red while you're in the intersection, they will snap your picture. I'm doing this at 2:00 in the morning on Sunday nights when we leave and there's no one on the road, but it doesn't matter. Get you. It's a fucking racket.

But you get them in the mail.

I get them in the mail.

One thing that I've noticed about Chicago and the drivers here is the left-Be careful.

Be careful with this. No, no, no. I got cooked online for this, and it's bullshit.

Okay, a couple of things. This is niche Chicago talk. A couple of things. I'll start out. I'll do a shit sandwich. The nice part first. People are very good about waving you in. People love to wave you in. If they'll stop for you, let you make a turn. If they know that they can't get any further because there's a traffic buildup in front of them, they'll let you right in. Love that about Chicago drivers. Very nice. The left turns. When the light is turning red, when it's yellow, I come from a place, I think most people grow up driving where you go out into the intersection, you make the left turn maybe right after it turned red. That's totally fine. In Chicago, you've got four cars that make that left after it's already- Yeah, you pile up and you're ready to go.

Everybody makes that left. All you got to do is just basically be in line and you can make it.

Yeah, if you're there, you can do it. But with the red light cameras, Hank, I had my car booted in a McDonald's parking lot when I just stepped out of it. The boot on the car is such a racket. There's somebody that's- Well, the red light camera is a racket. They are a racket.

Because like I said, I would understand if you actively are going through a red light, which I do not do. It's going through a yellow light that then turns red Or like you said, getting in line and being like, Oh, I can go left here.

I'll even say two cars making that left after it turns red, that's normal. That's fine.

It's efficient driving.

Here, it's four or five something.

Yeah, I like getting in that lane and just being like, I got this.

This was two or three weeks ago. I tweeted this because it's insane. You sit at the red light and you see the light goes red. Four to five cars. Yeah, but that's good. It's just insane. And it's in PFTs, right? It's only in Chicago. I have literally driven across this entire country, have driven my entire life. I tweeted, One thing I've learned driving in Chicago, everyone turns left on red right after it switches from yellow. It's just an unspoken thing a car three does every time. Every single response was like, Why are people mad? Dude, have you ever driven a car before? That's the most normal thing in the world. Everyone does it everywhere.

One car making that turn is completely normal. But I like it.

It's good.

It's hard to make that turn if everyone's waiting.

You'll get it light sometimes where it will be like, if you went by the letter of the law, you'd be at that light forever.

No, I respect it. It was just an observation. I was like, One thing I'm notice about Chicago, and every single person dunked on me being like, How about you drive in any other state in the world?

A lot of those lights that we're talking about, they are lights that don't even have the left turn arrow. Correct. They should. They should. This is their way of making up for it. I know we're not giving you an arrow, so just take the first- But I also do it when there is a left turn arrow. Take the first 10 seconds of the red light to go ahead and everybody that's in line. If you're in line, stay in line. You can make that left turn.

I would take what happens here over what happens in New York any day of the week, because New York, people will do that. But you can do the left turn thing if you're the fourth in line, like PFT was saying, but you do it knowing that you're able to go down the next street. In New York, people will do that and just sit in the middle of the intersection. Yeah, just to get off the line. Are you ever trying to get into the tunnel or anything like that, that will just be the entire time. You'll just be sitting there, and it just all chaos breaks loose because none of the lights actually match match up to when you can move.

Yeah, I don't mind it either. I just literally said one thing I've noticed, and people just were like, You fucking idiot.

I think people are still mad about this calling winter over in February.

To be fair, what you said is different than what PFT said.

I was trying to say exactly what he said.

He was trying to be said.

He said- You said any, but you didn't specify the amount.

He made it sound like one car making a.

One car, that is all across the country. If you are in the intersection- Three or four, even two.

Even two. Three or four is a lot.

I do it all the time. I do it all the time.

I'd say, yeah. After the sixth time I saw the fourth car go through the light, I was like, I think this might be a Chicago.

You just got to be on your game. It is a Chicago. You got to be on your game.

No, I'm with it. I play the game. I like the game. I respect the game. It's a better game. It's a Chicago thing. It's not like this everywhere else, much to people's disagreement.

You do it, though. You've gotten it at the time. Yeah, and it also makes it so that everyone's- I've gotten six fucking tickets doing it, apparently. Yeah, I mean, I have two. People, you got to pay attention. That's the other part. It's But now it's like, I don't want to do it.

You got to be ready to go. I guess I got to figure out where.

You just got to figure out where. I know exactly where a couple are on my path.

There's one right down the street that is every time.

Because there's no left on green. We glossed over Hank's original point was he drove to the airport like a psychopath.

That's also crazy.

Why did you take it over? I think two nights parking the lot. It's $15 a night, so it's like-I drive if it's like $30 versus $80 there and back. Well, not for you.

It was like $300. Yeah, it was like $500, $300, $300, $300, $300.

But no, it's cheaper. But it actually worked out for you. If you have time, yeah. Because imagine if you got booted on a street that you were like, $500, $600. But no, it's cheaper.

But it actually worked out for you.

If you have time, yeah.

Because imagine if you got booted on a street that you were running around doing errands. Yeah, I had. Your whole day got fucked?

Yeah, I had time. I wasn't in a rush to get back. When I said, I was like, You said we could do something at 4:00, I was like, I can be there. And we changed it. I didn't get back till 6:30.

Oh, man. I did drive to the airport one time in Chicago, and that's a never again thing.

I like it.

I had to park so far away.

But if you have time, it's not bad. You get on the shuttle.

No, it's bad. I'm never doing that again.

I like driving.

I like driving, too.

I think two days. If you're going for a weekend trip, no problem.

If you reserve your spot, it's a lot better.

Oh, you can do that? Yes.

That's the move.

Like a restaurant? Yes.

Like a deli? I've done it at O'Hare. I used to do it at LaGuardia. If I had a one day, 24 hour trip, you reserve your spot, you show up, you park, Then it does make sense if it's one day, maybe two at max. Anything over two, the cost just doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't. I would even say in Hank's circumstance where it's two days, you saved 15 bucks.

Well, again, no, because- But it's also nice.

I don't know. I like to drive. I like getting off a plane. I agree. And just being like, I just got to get to my car.

Yeah, I like driving. It's nice. You feel like you have more control. Yeah.

Sometimes. Okay. I'm actually great.

If there's a pole, maybe Fantastic driver. Okay, so PFT, your Firefest?

My Firefest of the Week is I have been accused of cheating and hacking on my favorite flight simulator game. Oh, no. I'm being threatened with a ban.

By who?

By other players.

Are you still in a guild?

That I'm beating. I am in a guild. It's a squadron, Hank. Sorry. I fly in a squadron. We're improving. It's leaps and bounds. We're dropping up the charts. Yeah, because you're cheating. I got accused of cheating. I was also It's called several racial slurs that I haven't heard in a long time by people accusing me of cheating. How do you cheat? I don't know. It's one of those things where I think-Let me ask that again. If you've been playing the game for a long time, I think if you're really into the subculture around the game and the lore, you know that there are ways of cheating. If you're really into it, I have not spent that much time understanding. So I don't know. How do you cheat on an iPhone?

Are you playing on a computer or your phone? My phone.

How do you phone?

I don't know. You haven't seen him? He's on his phone. I know, but I think if you're playing a computer PC game, it's much easier to be like, you're hacking, you installed something. How the fuck do you install hacks on a iPhone?

Let me ask the question again because I think you were thinking the broad terms. I'm saying, how do you cheat?

How do I cheat?

Because you clearly cheat.

I cheat by being a really fucking good pilot. That's not cheating. No, it's not cheating. I cheat by being excellent. I think some people get jealous of my excellence in the cockpit. But I had one game, I put up four MVP performances in a row after each of these games. Then one of the guys I was just killing over and over again hit me up. Then he told all of his buddies, This guy's cheating. Now I'm being bullied in my flight simulator game.

Got it.

It's tough.

Is there a form? I guess if there is, you don't leak it, but is there an outside form or Discord channel where people contribute to-There is a Discord.

I don't participate in the Discord. I haven't reached that level with it yet. You have to have a lot of time to participate in that Discord.

I might try and find it just to see the chatter.

But I don't know. Yeah, there might be an effort, a campaign behind the scenes to get me banned because I'm cheating.

Sounds like there is. What's your KD?

A lot. I would say I probably kill average nine planes, die three times.

It's pretty good. Sounds like you might be cheating.

But now I want to know how to cheat because that sounds like it'd be awesome.

Yeah, they've spoken into existence. Now you have to cheat. You're going to be accused of cheating. You might as well cheat. You made me do this. Right, exactly. Because everyone's already going to think of you a certain way, just be like, Fine, I'll fucking cheat.

Yeah, but I haven't been called those words by a video gamer in a long time. It feels like still got it.

Were you playing against... What was his name? What was the fucking The heat plate.

Myers Leonard? Miles Myers Leonard. Yeah. Myers Leonard saw that. Yeah.

Myers Leonard. Mm-hmm. That was a mistake. Okay. My Firefest is I'm being held hostage by a guy named Chuck E. Cheese. What is Chuck E.

Cheese's real name? His middle name, the E, stands for entertainment. So therefore, his name is Charles Entertainment Cheese. Yeah.

I took my kids- I thought that place closed a long time ago. Dude, it's not.

It's not closed. It might be back, actually.

It definitely went bankrupt or something like a few years.

It's not close because I've been a couple of times with my kids, and I don't know what happened, but my daughter, my middle child, she just thinks every day we're going to go to Chuck E. Cheese, and I have to basically negotiate with a terrorist every single day that today is not the day we're going to Chuck E. Cheese. I've taken her many times. I've gone to Chuck E. Cheese more than anyone should go to Chuck E. Cheese in the last few months, which is, I think, two or three times. But every single day, taking her to school, we get in the car and she's like, Are we going to Chuckie Cheese? I'm like, No, we're going to school. She's like, Oh, so we're going to Chuckie Cheese later? No, we're not going to Chuckie Cheese today. It's Tuesday. Then we get home, dinner. Is it time to go to Chuckie Cheese? I don't know what to do. I think I got to say that it's closed down forever.

You have to tell her that school is actually a Chuckie Cheese.

I'm so sick of Chuckie Cheese.

Yeah, just be like, This is Chuckie Cheese. This is the Chuckie Cheese where you learn and color and do finger painting.

It's just every day Chuckie Cheese. When are we going to Chuckie Cheese? Are we going, Oh, I'm going to take a nap, and then I'll get up and we'll go to Chuckie Cheese? No, this is not what we do. We don't go to Chuck E. Cheese every day. But now I think I either have to go to Chuck E. Cheese every day or, Yeah, say that it's closed.

Or here's what you do. You give tickets to her teacher, and then when she does an assignment, have her teacher- You're at Chuck E. Cheese. Be like, Here's your tickets. You're at Chuck E. Cheese. If you want, you can redeem these for a tiny plastic dinosaur at the end of the day. Turn every place that she goes into Chuck E.

We're going to do a birthday at Chuck E. Cheese for her, so now it's going to just reignite the love for Chuckie Cheese.

Chuckie Cheese does rock.

It does rock, but I can't do it every day. I've been asked, I would say, 16 out of the last 17 days, I've been asked, When are we going to Chuckie Cheese?

This is why you never do anything fun with your children. I know.

I know. They want to go to the... You do one thing once.

You're going to do the mind. I'm trying to think. I feel like I would get told, If you don't talk about Chuckie Cheese, maybe we'll go.

But then she's just going to be thinking about Chuckie Cheese. It's almost worse.

Yeah, and it's like she won't be able to focus on anything else besides Chuckie Cheese.

Don't say Chuckie Cheese.

Every time you bring up Chuckie Cheese, we're not going for another day.

I'm basically living with the Busters guy in a three-year-old girl body where she's just like, But you love Chuckie Cheese.

You You could turn your entire house into a Chuckie Cheese.

Yeah, we could just build an arcade here.

We could do a Chuckie Cheese arcade here.

Yeah, get Pasquale to pair it.

The craziest thing is it's not even fun for her.

I thought that was a huge...

When we go, it's not like she's not at the point where she can play the video games. It's not really that fun, but she did it.

There's a ball pit, right?

There's no ball pit at this Chuckie Cheese.

What's the point?

I mean, there's little rides, and then we play Cruise in USA, and we crash into everything. That's fun. Then we get... Then we do the game where we try to win a ball. Usually, I fail and look like a fucking loser.

Yeah, I think you just get a couple of arcade machines. We can put them in the office. We can even get a ball pit in the office. That would probably be good. Then just have-Oh, that'd be good for our lice. It'd be really good for the lice to share around. One time, my job was to be in charge of hosing down the ball pit whenever some kid direed in it.

Ball pits are gross. They're gross.

Bad times. But yeah, just turn the office into a Chuckie Cheese and be like, We're going to Chuckie Cheese. I think that's all I got. Or your house, put up a sign and be like, We're back at Chuckie Cheese.

Chuckie Cheese. Yeah, we're here at Chuckie Cheese. Welcome back, Chuckie Cheese. But it's breaking me slowly to have to just every single day be asked, Are we going to Chuckie Cheese? Again, it's not like I'm being a hard ass, like we're never going to Chuckie Cheese. I've been to Chuckie Cheese too many times.

Do you like the pizza? I like Chuckie Cheese Pizza. It's good. Now, I haven't had it since I was probably 12, but it was really good.

It is funny going back to all these places and being like, Damn, this place is small. Whereas when you were a kid, you're like, This is the craziest place ever.

The animatronic band. I thought they were giants.

Yeah, the light up dance floor. Chuck E. Cheese rocks. That's my Firefest. Max, finish this off.

This past week has been... I was at a wedding that's a normal Firefest. Flight got delayed.Love?

This Firefest? Wow.

Seeing your friends at their happiest?

The wedding itself was delightful, but it's the normal thing. Flight was delayed, sweat through my shirt, outdoor wedding.

That's not normal.

Sweating through your shirt at a wedding? That's every time for me.

You are that guy.

I'm the guy who goes as hard as you possibly could on a dance floor.

You got the tie around your head?

No, the tie is in my back pocket, jacket at the dinner table.

Rip your pants.

I've ripped my pants before.

You definitely have that look on your face where you're dancing so hard, you look angry.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You are the guy that every mother of the bride looks at and they're like, Really? Correct. This was supposed to be a classic day in this guy's here?

100%.

That is me every time. What's your move in terms of going up to the bartender at the start of an open bar wedding?

I'm normally two martinis and then beer.

Two martinis?

Yeah, but what about tip? Because you got a tip.

I do a 20 at the beginning, and then I'll get a couple of drinks. Then once I feel like I've gotten enough drinks, it's a five.

Do you say anything?

No. I hate the people who say something. No, I never say anything. But the bartender always knows the 20, the person who gives the 20.

Sometimes you have to wait, though, to make sure the bartender sees you put the 20 in.

I don't know if bartender... I assume any bartender is listening to this show back me up if I'm way off, but they have to hate whenever someone gives them a 20, and they're like, Take care of me for the rest.

Keep them coming.

That's the worst. That's the worst guy in the world. What do you mean take care of me? It's an open bar.

Yeah, it's almost worse than not tipping because That you're saying that your $20 will direct the course of this employee's evening for the rest of his night.

Also, everyone's like… $20 isn't an absurd amount of money. There's probably 20 people there are giving them $20 to start the night.

It's like the dude when you go on vacation, there's always one dude around the pool that thinks he's best friends with the locals because he gave him a tip the first day. It's like, Yeah, we're basically friends for life. Like, Dude, shut up.

During any wedding, I do the same thing. I go up, I usually do $20 right off the bat. Then after I get about three drinks in me, four drinks in me, then I'm like, Fuck it. Let's just give this guy more money. You'll spam him. Then the next time I go up, I'm like, Here's 40. They're like, Thank you, I guess.

From their perspective, they I don't even see a bunch of people all dressed the same. They don't even recognize who's giving what.

Remember me, I'm the guy that's wearing the tie.

Remember me, I'm the sweaty guy. So what was your firefest?

My real firefest is this is a year long firefest that has happened again this week. I'm in a battle with my deli guy at my grocery store. I don't know if it's Chicago or if it's my specific grocery store that I go to, but I go to the deli thing, I get my turkey, I get my cheese, but I like my cheese very thin.

Then you got to say it.

I say it every time. Every time I go in there, I'm very, very thin. The guy will give me a slice of cheese, and I'm a little bit thinner than Then once I go home, it's always thicker than when he gives it to me.

Wait, you make him recut the cheese?

No. Sometimes I give you a sample.Okay.Have.

You ever...

But wait, what do you say?

That's just big on cutting. How does this tie to a wedding?

Say This is what I- He's a sweaty guy, and he wants his cheese thin. No, the wedding... I wasn't going to talk about the wedding. I was just going to say this past week, that's my firefest of the week. Got it. It was the normal wedding things. But For a year long, I've been thinking about this firefest of my battle with this cheese deli for every time fire fest comes along.

So role play. I'm the guy who's cutting your cheese. Hey, what can I get you?

Hey, can I get the white- You already are.

I'm already done with you.

Hey, can I get the white American slice very, very thin?

I think you got it. I do two varies. I think very is the wrong word. What? I think it's say extra thin.

Very, very special thing.

Very is just not extra.

If I do two varies, that should mean- There's no no.

That should mean very thin. No, extra feels like if you say, Hey, can I get some cheese? I like it cut extra thin.

Maybe hold up something in comparison.

I wanted it to be a slice of paper.

Yeah, bring a sheet of paper and be like, This thin is what you're looking for. Yeah, you're the see-through.

Jim Nance's toast. You need to just get it perfectly cut and then just hold on to that slice of cheese for the rest of your in a in a ziploc bag in your pocket. Anywhere you go, you can be like, Look, this is what I like. I think try extra.

Okay. Just try extra.

Can't you try a different deli, too?

No, but just- No, but I'm not going to go to a different- Let me know how extra works.

I think for some reason, someone saying Very, very thin is just-But wait, if it's white American cheese, that's a very moist cheese, right?

It might not be possible to cut white American cheese as thin as possible. You might be asking them to do an impossible task.

I mean, at the ACME in Philly, they get that thing as thin as shit.

Well, then maybe you should just order your cheese from the Acme in Philly.

Yeah, just say extra thin and report back. Okay. You know what?

Max, when's your birthday?

This month.

I'm going to get you a cheeselicer so you can cut your own cheese as thin as you want it.

I don't even know how that's possible.

What do you mean? You don't think you can buy a cheese slice?

But you're going to complain about somebody else doing it not thin enough for you?

That's their job.

Yeah, I think you give off bad vibes to these deli guys.

I just wanted thin. Let's be honest. If Max walked into your deli the I just thought you'd have this guy is going to be a fucking pain in the ass about how I cut the cheese.

Let me guess. Seven pounds of salami.

You want enough pepperoni to cover up your nipples.

I just want some thin cheese, man.

You need to say, Very, very thin is all pudding.

I don't care what a wedding has to What's it got to do with any of this?

It's very, very off-putting.

I don't know why you're still on the wedding, Hank.

Why? You brought it up in the first place.

Try extra. Very, very feels like you're scolding something.

Which is a slice of cream.

Very, very thin.

I don't know what Mr. Per had to do with your parking situation.

That was to bring up PMTV, which I was asked to do. Smart. Plug God.

Okay, fair.

Extra.

Extra. Got it.

Very, very. Just, yeah, I don't know. I'd be bothered by very, very. It feels like you're really talking down to me.

I don't know why. Okay, I haven't thought about it like that.

Right, because when you say very, very, it's like, dude- Every show. Well, that's a very, very special guest. When you say very twice, it's like, Hey, buddy, I got it the first time.

Okay. No, I I don't hate that.

Is it the same guy every time?

No, it's different.

I think it's just- Let's get extra mixed in the lingo and report back.

Is it a deli or is it a deli in a grocery store?

It's a deli in a grocery. Like the deli counter at the grocery store.

Maybe a little please and thank you.

Oh, no, I am polite.

Do you tip him?

But your whole tone and vibe is angry.

Are you supposed to tip the deli counter?

Maybe say, Hey, take care of me for the rest of the time, all right?

Remember this face.

How much do you go to this guy?

He eats a lot of cheese. They should teach to go to the grocery store.

I probably get cheese every other week, go to the grocery store once a week.

I think actually they shouldn't teach tipping in school.

I never know.

It's actually a good litmus test of were your parents shitty or not? If you're a bad tipper.

But there's things where you don't know what to tip. Do you not tip?

What are you talking about? Deli. No.

I don't think you usually do. If there's a jar there and I've got a $5 bill, I put it in.

Yeah, or if it's like you're doing... I would tip if I was doing Going to a deli and ordering so much stuff for a party that it was... When you have to ask for a ton of stuff and you hold up everyone else because your guy's running back like, Oh, and I'll take this and I'll take that. That would maybe be a tip.

Do you do 20% at a restaurant, obviously, when you order takeout? Yes. 20%.

Takeout or delivery?

Yeah. Is it pickup?

Pickup or delivery? Delivery.

I usually-Either one.I'll do more.I.

Do 25 on delivery.

What about takeout?

Takeout Takeout.

Takeout, I'll tip a little.

Probably, yeah. Like 10 to 20.

Yeah. I'll round up.

I got soup on Tuesday night. I got ramen soup. I did 20% on that.

Yeah, because they're still making the food.

Yeah, no, I know.

I always tip when you pick up. I wouldn't tip a full 25 on pickup, but I'd tip.

Because that money goes to the kitchen and the expo that does the takeout stuff. It's not to a server.

Hotel rooms.

Yeah. Yes. If I'm there for a long time.

I've started to do that a lot recently. I like to write a little note. Yeah. Be like, Thanks for all you do. Appreciate you.

If I'm there for a night, maybe not. If I'm there for multiple nights, I'll leave 40. If we're at Super Bowl week, I'll leave 100 or something because they've been cleaning all week. Yeah.

Also, Max, happy birthday. You're getting a cheeselicer, so you can do your own cheese, okay? You have nobody to complain to about yourself.

No, I'm excited.

Maybe we can build a shelf behind you and just have the the slice of right there.

Yeah, you should do a segment. That should be a Max video, cutting the cheese with Max.

Sounds great. Thrilling.

Okay, good Firefest, boys. Let's do numbers. Max, have you ever gotten this?

No, I've not yet. Pft, have you gotten this?

Not yet.

But he's going to.

So am I.

Someone offered me today.

Wait, there's other people here that haven't gotten it, Max. Why are you singling me out?

Why is Big Cat singling me out?

I'm asking Because I have a rivalry with you in this because I told you I would get it before you have to be trying to take away my- The only other person is Memes. Memes doesn't count. I almost took this guy up on an offer today. He said that he would buy a certain amount of Stella Blue coffee if I vacated my win, and then he buy double that if I then beat Max again.

This tunnel of chaos.

Kind of wanted to do it. Kind of wanted to do it. Just be like, You know what? Vacate. I'll do it again. I'll take eight. Watch me do it again. Okay.

46, please. 20.

99, Pug.

I'm going to go-21. 67.

Show me an eight. Show me what Max doesn't like to do to thick cheese. 38. Love you guys. I'm talking away.

I don't know what I'm to say I'm saying it anyway. Today is my day to find you to shine away. I'll be coming for your love of kids.