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Go to carvana.com to sell your car the convenient way on today's part of my take. Week one is here and we're ready to break down every single game from Sunday and Friday. Cause we didn't talk about the packers and the Eagles. We're going to do fastest two minutes to start the show. We've got who's back of the week. We're talking football. Start to finish. Nothing better. And it's brought to you by our friends at draftkings. Td tutti taking it to the house in for six. Whatever you call a touchdown. One thing's for sure, touchdowns matter more. Draftkings sportsbook, an official sports betting partner. The NFL. On the ground, in the air from the special teams or defense. We don't care how they score them. We want to bet on touchdowns. And draftkings is the number one place to bet touchdowns. Ready to place your first NFL bet? Try betting on something simple like a player to score a touchdown. Go to Draftkings sportsbook app and make your bet. Today we have the the jets versus the 49 ers. Monday Night Football. Garrett Wilson to score. Why not? I like Garrett Wilson to score. What do you.

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Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. PMT Sunday TD parlay bets only to receive one profit boost. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see sportsbook dot draftkings.com promos. Okay, let's go football Guy Fatino, AWS welcome to part of my take presented by Draftkings. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use code take that's code take for new customers to get 250 in bonus bets. When you bet just $5 and get one month of NFL plus premium only on draftkings, the crown is yours. Today is Monday, September 9, week one we start in Indianapolis, where Susan B. Anthony Richardson is trying to put a stop to week one. Colts fans suffrage when he hit Alec Paul Pierce with a 60 yard bomb, making indie fans everywhere poop their pants with excitement. Unfortunately, the Texans had other plans as Stephan Riggs welcomed all the haters to the course, scoring twice on Sunday. No word if he cried afterwards after being showed the door by the DN. Cincinnati Bengals Joe Biden mix improved. He isnt actually dead as he had 159 yards without tripping over his feet once. Texans 29, Colts 27 in western New York after taking a couple early shots, Kyler Murray stepped up and stepped in.

He is a gamer, giving Clairs an.

Early 17 three lead. Josh Tim Allen took out all the.

Tools in his toolbox as the Bills.

Hoped for some home improvement after last year.

Keon I'm a Col Mandeh dot dot.

Dot dot dot dot made his debut. And speaking of souls, Damar Hamlins is still alive as he got the start.

On the way to a win. Prayers for Damar. Boom. And no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. The Bills 34, the Cardinals 28. We go abroad to Brazil Friday night to our reporter who is not able to tweet himself, Max Delente. We go to Sao Paulo, where we had a classic matchup between love hurts. Jalen cursed at Eagles fans cussing at the tv early with two early turnovers in the first, but Saquon roughly was playing like a dog and brought the Birds back to take the lead. Zach Bon Jovi was attacking the quarterback all night and many were saying he gave love a bad game. With a chance to take the lead late in the fourth, Matt Lewonscore chose to kick a field goal and make a one score game. A one score game. Eagles win 34 29. Thank you very much, Max beautiful singing back stateside in Chicago wearing a touching tribute to Jeremy Allen White. This season of the Bears going to be taken a lot more serious than the previous two. Fans were uneasy watching the Bears offense, wondering if they finger nailed their first pick. But it was Jonathan Biles and the special teams that trampoline them into scoring.

Will Jan Levis and Gould has gone snip snap, snip snap with the start of his career, and it snapped more than it snipped on Sunday after throwing a large pick titty because he's got big tits. Teach the fake, Jane Levis and Goo Gould. She's got big tits. Before they got back together. Bears 24, Titans 17. Down to Atlanta, where they swapped Russie for Jussie and Ray Ray. You, you get off of McCloud was.

Working on a revenge game against the.

Steelers, and speaking of revenge games, Pijon Robinson rushed the ball 18 times.

Kyle Pitt scored a touchdown, leaving slack jawed Arthur Smith saying, I didn't know you could do that. Cam Johnson, whose name literally translates to Jeffrey Toobin, got knocked out of the punting game early, but the special teams.

Came to the rescue as balls. Well, that ends well after Chris kicks.

Six field goals and a punt in relief.

The Steelers 18, the Falcons ten. Let's head to Cincinnati, where we have Henry Lockwood on the scene for the big Patriots win. We head to the depths of the jungle of Cincinnati, where ramandre I want Iguodala Stevenson got the scoring started, going early with a second quarter score at halftime. Joey Chestnut said brat Summer isn't over yet, taking down 18 brats in ten minutes to beat six other people. Gerard Mayo for Yayo had his defensive line ripping all day, holding the Bengals to ten points on his way to his first win as an NFL head coach. Lighthouse 16, jungle ten. Thank you, Henry out west to Seattle, where Denver is thinking this is the year Bo Nicks has improved so much under his new offense. He's focused, he's having fun. I wouldn't be surprised if you dark horse for the mvp the refs were something Gaz has never done as they sang, you can dance if you want to. It's safe to dance. Everyone do the safety dance. As the Broncos got two safeties in the first half, Kenneth Brandon Walker asks the Seahawks fans, why are you hollering after a tough first half? But then put the team on his back, leading the Seahawks to a 26 20 win over to Tampa Bay as.

The Commies tried to limit price controls on all the inflated Bucks. Mike Evans Gate colt two touchdowns and looked like he was sailing through space on a comet. As commanders fans wanted to put on their new Nikes and pull over a big purple blanket on their faces. Drifting off into the sweet embrace of the unknown, the Commanders cut the lead to ten, and Commie's head coach showed off his Danalytics by kicking an extra point and cutting it to nine. Unlike the Miami police Department, this Washington defense wasnt stopping anything at all as every Florida receiver made it into the.

End zone on time.

Despite the efforts of the Supreme Court.

This baker was unstoppable.

Meanwhile, the DC quarterback couldnt keep his helmet on as Jaden Daniels Day Lewis went method acting as Nancy Reagan, being very, very careless with his head.

Tampa Bay buries the commanders 37 to 20. Standing on a corner. Jamis Winston, Cuyahoga such a fine sight to see his stack.

My lord, can Jerry Jones afford to pay?

Dak Parsons, NCD is that Tom Brady? His hair's looking wavy. Keep Deshawn away from the huddle and the ladies. Cowboys 33, Brown 17 it's week one.

For singing tube him.

And that was week one. Fastest two minute presented by our good friends at Chevy. There's a reason we've never done a Mount Rushmore pickup trucks. And that's because for pardon my take, there's only one pickup truck, the Chevy Silverado. Silverado is a partner, a partner you can depend on. We've all spent time driving and using the Silverado for all kinds of pardon my take jobs. I was in the electric one the ev the other day. It's incredible. Massive screens, up to eight cameras with 14 different views to help make driving, towing and parking all easier. We love the bold, blacked out look of the new Silverado HD trail boss. So head over to Chevy.com to build your own Silverado or Silverado HD and check out all the current offers on Silverado. Discover a world of strength and capability all behind the wheel of our favorite truck, the Chevy Silverado. Okay, week one in the books. We're watching the fourth quarter of the Rams Lions game. As we tape this, we will do that game last. But, boys, football is all the way back. It was great to be with the fellas in the gambling cave.

I forget how much football happens at once. Just simultaneous football all day long.

I also forget how quick it goes by because I feel like you just blink and then it's boom. Carry Underwood in your face. It was great, though, to be.

I'm not going to complain about that.

No, no, I listen. It was a great Sunday. It was a lot of fun to be with the. With the guys watching ball every game going fast paced, witching hour. It's just great to be back. It's great to be back. So let's dive in, shall we? Should we do it?

Let's do it.

Let's do it. So we're going to. If this is your first fall with us on, pardon my take, we recap every single game from Sunday and this weekend. I also from Friday because we obviously didn't talk about the Eagles 34 29 win against the packers in Sao Paulo. Max, good win.

Sometimes it's all right to win sloppy.

Sometimes all right to win sloppy. I also should say. I should say before anything, thank God Jordan Love is not seriously injured. I think we all were rooting for that.

For him not to be seriously.

Yeah. For him to be. For it to be nothing. Yep. Basically was nothing. He's going to be back in three to four weeks. I know that. I was sitting in bed worried and I was just like, please hope he's okay and he's okay.

Yeah, he might be okay. I don't know if the packers are going to be okay without him because Malik Willis got in for a Hail Mary and at some point. Malik Willis played quarterback in his career.

Yeah.

At some point he was thought highly for Liberty. For liberty.

Is that real?

The schedule was not great at liberty.

Yeah.

But, yeah, Malik at one point could throw football and he didn't know how to throw a Hail Mary at the end of it. It was a weird scenario down in Brazil because you had the grass looking like the sod father which just immigrated, like, ran away from the law.

Yeah.

And was a fugitive down in Sao Paulo.

The grass is not great. People were trying to blame the grass on Jordan Love's injury. I would say that's stupid. You should blame Jalen Carter for being dirty.

Dirty player.

Yeah, dirty player. Trying to injure people. I think that would be the more the blame. The grass had nothing to do with that injury.

You can blame the grass for making the game hard to watch, especially in the first half. Yeah, but why don't they just change the cleats immediately? Why don't they go out for warm ups? And they're like, yeah, you know what I need? I'd have to wear the long cleats.

I also love when people see the NFL playing on grass that shitty and then having this, like, epiphany where they say to themselves, we have, you know, multimillion dollar athletes, a billion dollar corporation, and we're sending them down to Brazil on this shitty field just for the almighty dollar. The NFL has no shame. They don't care about player safety. If it took you that long, if it took you till Friday night to figure out the NFL doesn't care about player safety. Welcome to the party. We've been here for a very long time. Yeah.

And ironically, Brazil is the last place I would expect to have a problem with too much grass on the field. Yeah, it seems like given their waxing strategies, that wouldn't be an issue. It's been apparent every. Every time they send a team over to Germany or England or now Brazil, Mexico City. We have football stadiums in the United States.

Yes.

They have fut ball stadiums in the other countries, and they have to put new turf down every single time. And then they act shocked that the new turf installation wasn't up to par for NFL games.

They have. They have little 120 pound people running around, barely running around, kicking a ball around. Well, then you put a 300 pound man on the field trying to tackle each other. Yeah, it's going to look different.

I don't know. Neymar flops pretty hard. When he hits the ground, he'll roll over like, four or five times.

So kind of vindicated. Maybe he wasn't flopping this whole time.

Maybe. Shitty grass.

Yes, shitty grass. Having him do this, it was.

Yeah, it was kind of a sloppy game for a little bit. Jalen hurts had his ups and his downs. I think we can say that the touch push, that was Travis. That was Jason Kelsey.

It's been nerfed.

It was Jason Kelsey that was responsible for the torch push. It was his tush. Yeah, I was doing most of the push and.

Yep. And nerfed.

It's been completely nerfed right now. I don't know if there. Well, they did. They did steal our phrase for it. And call it the brazilian butt lift. Yes, I saw that. Must credit jud.

Max, do you now finger pointing at you.

Yeah.

Gun pointing at you. Do you now realize that we actually weren't joking when we said that Nick Wright was kind of genius for saying that? Jalen hurts should have thrown more interceptions in preseason because in training camp because he looked shitty.

No, he didn't.

Yeah, dude, Max, he looked bad. Max, he had bad moments and then.

He had good moments.

Yeah, but he had some really bad moments saying he looks shitty. He threw a shitty pick. He's having a good game. The fumble wasn't his fault.

You can.

There were bad moments that he had.

There's not what Max was saying on Friday night.

I. Well, yeah, cuz overreacting. But now the touch on passes. Saquon was very touchdown passes sake one was a perfect. I was okay. So there you go. That was good. Yeah, he, he looks rusty. He had some bad moments. He had some good moments. Saquon's pretty awesome though. Saquon is the best.

Do you think like if, if, if the New York Giants had to do it all over again, do you think that they would give Daniel Jones a massive contract extension and let Saquon Barkley walk on a low ball?

No. That was one of those embrace debate we thought was stupid in the, in the moment.

In the moment. Even hindsight in the moment.

That was just. You guys are dumb in the moment. But yeah, Max, I I feel like, I mean, that that was the, I think we talked about it on Friday's show, but the new defensive coordinators, whenever you're trying to install a new system, you're going to have weird moments. I felt like it almost felt like a college game at points where there was just receivers running wide open down the field on both sides, like because they both were new defensive coordinators. I a winds a win and I the Eagles are loaded. Like I think the Eagles are going to be a problem this year. I know that there's Jalen hurts, there's some question marks. You even have them yourself. But yeah, the Eagles are good.

Yeah, it was a good win.

It was a good win. It was a weird game. You know, they travel 10 hours to get there. I'm not going to overreact after week one. I wish Hertz played a little bit better, but he played well enough to win the game.

Yeah, you guys got to win. That's big. And if you're a Packers fan, you're probably happy that love, obviously happy that it's not worse than what it sounds like. But for the next month or so, you've probably got some questions about whether or not Malik Willis is the guy.

But thankfully, Jordan loves.

Okay, is Malik Willis the answer to any question that's ever been asked?

Is there a really good guy that you would want to help? Someone on the street, if I was.

Homeless, would name one NFL quarterback that you would like to see come around the corner with a handful of windbreakers and sweatpants and maybe a Tupperware filled with food. Malik Willis.

Probably that guy if I was looking for. Hey, what's one of one of the cool names of a player in the NFL? Malik Willis.

Yeah. Name one NFL player whose name sounds a lot better than he is.

Yeah.

Malik Willis is probably.

Probably one a is the answer to that question. Also, very fun story for this game. Was all the beat reporters sending their stories or their tweets back to the states for their wives and significant others to tweet out.

Yep.

That was a really cute story that completely just forgot about saying the part where they decide to play a game in a dictatorship.

Yeah. Where.

Yeah, it's like, this is so cute, though. The wives are tweeting it back from, like, philly and. And. And Wisconsin. Yeah, yeah, but what? Why? Oh, yeah, because we played an addict, you know, in a dictator is running Brazil.

Bolton Arrow has been hospitalized with an acute case of NFL fever. It's life threatening. Yeah, it was. It was funny to see Sao Paul Antonio was down there. And so I wonder, like, these guys, if they're sending texts to their wives back home and then their wives are tweeting them out. Their wives are also probably reading, like, all the DM's and so, yeah. So I wonder if anybody was sliding to. So, pals, wife's, DM.

I hope they got a little bit of the mentions, too.

Yeah.

Just getting to live one day in your husband's or wives mentions, like, wow, this is the shit they deal with.

You piece of shit. You hate the Eagles. You always have.

If. I know you said, this guy's injured, he's back out there.

Eagles fans are pretty rare reasonable. I don't think.

I love that one Eagles fan who was at the big statue of Jesus Christ. Just a brazilian, just out there on a. On a Friday, seeing Eagles fans in the wild, they have to be like, what is going on? What is this?

He's got the mohawk, the face paint at Christ the Redeemer.

They're just screaming at random people to do this chant. I guess soccer culture is very similar, but still, there's something about Philadelphia that just makes it extra special and in your face.

Oh, Philadelphia travels. That could be just a travel show in general. Find the biggest Philly scum bag and just send them abroad.

Yeah.

As many places as possible.

I don't understand. You couldn't pay me to go, like, abroad for a football game when I could just watch it on tv.

On tv at home and also miss.

The rest of the football game. And I guess Friday you don't, but, like, the London game where you just can't watch the rest of the games.

Yeah, that stinks. I do love as a fan, though. We had a game Thursday, we had a game Friday. We had college football all day Saturday. We had NFL Sunday than NFL Monday night. Yeah, that's, that's a pretty good five days of football watching on tv.

No, I'm, Tuesday's going to come and I'm going to be, I'm going to be wrenched over my toilet just puking, having withdrawals.

Yeah, it's going to be tough, but we can make it through.

Yeah, we can make it through.

We always do.

If Thursday coming back up.

Max, do you think it's kind of a cuck move for the Philadelphia Eagles to wear black on their uniforms instead of green because they're afraid that the local fans don't like the color greenhouse?

I don't think that they said that.

That's what I think that's what that's, that's, yeah, I don't think that, no, I heard that from, from several reporters wives.

Yeah, I don't, I don't think that was confirmed anywhere, so. Yeah. Okay. Well, good win, Max. Great win. Yep. You beat the packers. I was very upset at you for a while during that game that you weren't going to beat the packers. Also, our good friend Matt LaFleur, he kicked a field goal down one score to go down one score.

Yeah. In the fourth quarter. It's kind of his thing.

I kind of, I understood it a little bit more weight. They ended up losing. How much? They lose by five. Five. Yeah. But they were, they kicked the field goal to go down to. I get it a little bit more because then you can win with a field goal, but I'd still rather score or try to convert on fourth down and score. Touch.

Yeah, you want, you want six there? You want six at the end of that drive, you're down.

When you're down five, you want six?

Can we just recklessly speculate who you would want to see step in for the packers?

Yeah. Ryan Tannehill.

Ryan Tannehill. You want. You want to see him?

Yeah.

You really want to see Ryan Tannehill more? Ryan Tanner, I would like the packers to lose. You would like.

I want Ryan Santa Hill to step in for the packers. Actually, I want Malik Willis. I think you got to give him at least four games.

Give him a shot. You don't want to hurt Malik's confidence.

No.

You don't want him to think that. He's not the answer.

Yeah.

I would like to see Flaco should have waited. Joe Flacco shouldn't have.

Brett Favre could play. He's let him play.

I was thinking about Fav yesterday, and there's a good chance that he. He, like, didn't go anywhere because he's like, I gotta be close to home base in case the phone rings.

There's a. There's. There's a pretty good chance that he had Edward or just call the packers and. And say, hey, are you hearing anything about Brett?

Yeah.

And. But he was put up to it.

Brett Favre just tweets out, out of nowhere. Just so you know, all my court cases are up in jeopardy right now. I won't be sentenced to anything for at least another nine months.

I could travel out of state.

I could try. I'm not currently wearing an ankle monitoring system. Brett Favre would do. I think if you asked him, he would. Yeah. For sure.

Matt Flynn.

Matt Flynn. Blake bordels Blake. Portals out, packers legend and has.

Yeah. Matt Lafleur knows him. Really?

Joe Flacco has become a very valuable, valuable trading piece right now.

They should let Joe Flacco just go from team to team every. Every week. It's. It. You have to drop Joe Flacco and then he gets picked up yet.

Jamis.

Yeah. Jamis. But that would break me. No, I can't. We can't have that. Then I would just. That would key. I would break me. I don't want that.

Let's just get out.

Leak Willis.

Let's get ahead of Florio and say Colin Kaepernick.

Yeah.

The Green Bay packers.

He's ready to go.

Only been eight years since he's played.

I'm sure he's done a workout in, a closed workout that Florio has gotten wind of in the last couple of months.

Yeah.

He's looking just as good as ever.

Can we just put out the report? Part of my take is reporting that Colin Kaepernick is in consideration by some to be the Green Bay packers bridge quarterback.

Yes.

Jordan love return.

What is. Who is their third quarterback? Right now. Oh, they don't have one. Gotta have Malik Willis. Malik Willis. He's got to be the guy.

The emergency quarterback should just be a lottery. Of all packers owners, that's something that you get when you buy the piece of fake stock.

Yeah.

As I am a Packers owner, actually, as a one Green Bay packers owner or the Green Bay packers owner is considering bringing in Colin Kaepernick.

There it is.

Me.

You heard it right there. Okay. Should we go to the Sunday's games? Sunday's games. Bears 24, Titans 17. The Bears are one and o. They did not score an offensive touchdown. Kale Williams looks really bad, but the Bears are one and. Oh, and I don't give a fuck. Well, I do actually care a little bit because I really wish he had played better because he was not good. He was not good. He looked like nothing really worked. You could, like, the best case scenario you could say is Okeenan Allen dropped a touchdown. He did. But other than that, the offense was bad. But this is also why I was so excited about this season and said over and over the Caleb Williams is going into a better situation than any Bears quarterback ever was. Partially because the defense and the defense was awesome and the defense completely bailed and special teams bailed the Bears out. And I'm just. I had the biggest sigh of relief when that game ended because this would have been the longest week of my life if the Bears had lost that game with the way Caleb Williams played and then having to play the Texans on Sunday Night Football.

Yeah, Caleb didn't play great, but he also didn't lose the game for.

No, he didn't make any throw any picks.

That's nice. Cause in the past, you've played these games where your defense and special teams have played lights out.

Yeah.

And then you're like, if we just had a guy that wouldn't lose the game for us, we'd be fine. That's what Caleb did today. He did look nervous, especially in the first half.

No, he didn't look good. He said himself, he's like, I played bad.

He was, like, falling away from throws. He looked uncomfortable. And that's probably just nerves. And it's funny because they asked him whether or not he was nervous about week one, and he said, no, I've never been nervous in my entire life. I don't get nervous. I'm just right now feeling like I'm very anxious to get out there and play, and I don't want to let anybody down. And he just went on to perfectly describe what feeling nervous was, but he just didn't say. He's like, I'm not nervous. I'm just very, very worried about not playing well.

And he also probably said that he was not nervous because he had never played in an NFL game behind the Bears offensive line.

Yep.

There were some plays where, I mean, that, that one sack he took, he probably shouldn't have spun three times, but he also, it was over right away.

I'm okay when quarterbacks spend three times, but when you spin, you have to actually like, move to the side.

Speaker two forward.

He was just spinning like, he was like trying to make himself dizzy. The idea of the spin move is to spin away from something.

Yeah, but I'm not, I'm not going to sit here and say, oh, the offensive line is to blame. The offensive line was bad. And that's a concern for me. It was a concern going into the season. The run game did not look great. It couldn't really get going forward. Kale played bad, but the Bears won and want to know is one to know and I'm not going to apologize for one. And, oh, and that defense is so goddamn good. And that's what's making me like the most excited. And Caleb will figure it out. I got so it was 17 nothing at halftime and I was getting very down and going to a dark place. Also, by the way, Felis Jones just lives to torture me. He, at some point a guy just being the fastest guy, you have to have more than that. And unfortunately, the more for Felix Jones is he also fumbles. So he's the fastest guy but also fumbles. Mm hmm. That, those are his two defining traits. But that was when it was started to get really bad, when he just, I was like a comic book. If you saw the dots, you know, you can watch replay the dots.

They do the graph. He kicked the ball forward 20 yards. It was crazy. So Villas Jones, I really need him to not be in my life anymore. But PFD, I have something for you because I was doing this when I got really in a dark place, I went and started looking it up. Here are the guys who lost their first start in the NFL. Troy Aikman. Good. Peyton Manning. Good.

These all guys that were on Mount Rushmores.

Yeah. Dan Marino.

Yep.

Joe Montana.

Pretty good.

Eli Manning.

Yep.

Matthew Stafford. These are all future hall of Famers.

And Eli Manning, future hall of Famer.

Yeah. Eli Manning will be in the hall. Are you kidding me? Who runs the league, dude?

Yeah, it's true.

I mean, get out of here. Oh, man, Goff just threw a bad pick and the Lions might lose. And that will be a bad, that'll be a sad boy move for.

We have a new stat that's going around, though. Now, it's not the Peyton Manning interception stat. It's the John Elway first start stat.

Yes.

Would he go like two for ten or something?

Yeah. Eleven. Yeah.

Yeah. And then he got benched immediately after that. That's a good stat. I like, look, that's a good, comforting, nice, comforting stat to look at when your quarterback's not playing well.

It was, it was a bad game. I also have another stat. And again, I'm not going to make excuses for a bad game, but this is, maybe it's preseason, lack of preseason, lack of training camp, whatever you want to call it. Oh, is that pick, is that going to count? Do you know? On Sunday, now, the NFL is a passing league. It's a passing league, right. On Sunday, there was only one quarterback who threw for over 300 yards. That's pretty crazy.

That is pretty crazy.

That was two. One of them was just an 80 yard past Tyree kill dude. Everything else. And then there was only, there was only two quarterbacks who threw over 250 yards. So the passing was just bad on Sunday. Overall, there was 12345 quarterbacks that threw for 200 to 250 yards. So. And then everyone else was under 200 yards, and then there was Caleb, who had 93 yards, but passing was down.

Overall passing was down. Defenses are ahead of offenses in week one.

Yeah. I mean, some of these numbers. Justin Herbert threw for 144 yards, Kirk Cousins for 155. So here's Lawrence for 162.

Here's the stat right here. John Elway's first start, he was one for 814 yards, a pick, four sacks, no rushing yards. But they won.

Hall of Fame. But they know he wasn't on my list.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I wins a win, I'm not going to, I'm not going to apologize for wins, but God damn it, I'm so happy they won because that would have been a torturous, torturous week of discourse about Caleb Williams because he played bad.

Caleb will be better. He's a good player.

Yes.

I've seen him play better. I've seen him make throws. I know that he's a good quarterback. He'll be better. The defense and the special teams won't need to do as much to help them win.

But maybe they will.

Maybe they will. Maybe they'll do it anyways.

Yeah. Maybe they'll do it anyways. And Will Levis had a day to forget, let's just leave it at that because that throw he did, the surrender Cobra in mid play.

Yeah, on his knees. On his knees.

Yeah, he threw that one like he.

Was putting the scrunchie on.

That was just one, one too many. Like, hey, I'm just going to try to. He was already in trouble. Just throw it up there. And that was the game right there because it was the pick six. And then our explosive offense got a two point conversion.

Will Levis does not give a fuck if he gets hit. No, that, that dude back brace, they put the heating pad on over, over his, like, uniform.

Yeah.

I don't know if that works. I don't think that it does, no. But yeah, he was getting, he was getting banged out.

Yeah. For sure. For Will. That that surrender Cobra is going to be. Yeah, it was around for a long.

That was, you know, time.

It was very tough mid play. Okay, next game. Bills 34, Cardinals 28. I'll tell you what, the haters had a moment. The haters had a moment because Josh started his season with a fumble in the red zone and the Cardinals were up quickly, 17 to three. And then Josh Allen was like, oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm Josh Allen. And six of the next eight drives he had, they had scores. He had two touchdowns throwing, two touchdowns rushing. He's now tied all time with Steve Young for multiple touchdowns throwing and rushing in a game.

That's pretty good. He was jumping over people. He landed on the ball at some point and may have broken his left hand, but he was basically like, I don't really care if my left hand is broken. Yeah, I don't throw my left hand.

He was awesome after that, the start, I mean, the fumble was like, oh God, what just happened? Like, red zone, Josh Allen, don't do that. And then he was. Yes, 17 for 22 and 200, 2228 yards throwing. He was awesome. He was doing Superman plays.

Yeah, the Bills defense didn't look great for the most part.

No. They're a work in progress.

Work in progress. But they are. Feel like we say that every year about the Bills.

Yeah, well, the who is on that told us it was actually good that they got all their injuries out of the way because last year is like, oh, they lost Matt Milano in the middle of the season or a couple games in this year. They lost him in training camp. So they already know this year.

They didn't even have enough time to get accustomed to having Matt Milano defense to feel the impact of losing him. They didn't have Trudeaus White as their cornerback and rely on him enough to feel the impact of losing him. So, yeah, that, that means that the other guys just won't get injured cause they've already used up all their injuries on the.

Yes, exactly.

It's a good point. It's a good point. And if you're a Bills fan, you're just happy to escape with a win. I saw that they did set up a DUI checkpoint on the way out of the stadium, directly out of the stadium that are trying to generate some revenue up in Orchard park. That's, that's a tough scene for a lot of Bills fans.

That's essentially when they have the videos of the Bears, the grizzly bears and the salmon are all spawning and swimming upstream. Yeah. They just can put their paw in and they pull out ten salmon there.

Will.

That's what that was.

There will be a Bills fan that goes to court and says that this is entrapment. Yeah, I was at a Bills game.

Yeah.

And I'm not gonna give Bills home opener. I'm not gonna get drunk at a Bills home opener.

Your honor, the, by the way, the Cardinals, I, I said it before the season started, but the Cardinals are gonna be of my official. This is just a fun watch team because Kyler looked awesome. Their defense is not great. They didn't even get Marvin Harrison going.

Marvin Harrison was wide open on that one play, though.

James Conner is still the angriest, most upright runner that God ever created. And yeah, I think they're just officially a fun team to watch.

They're, they're going to play hard. We know that they did that last year. They'll knock you around on defense. They'll be physical. And Kyler looked good. Kyler was making a bunch of good plays in the first half. At least. He had some jump passes, some weird angles. He was scrambling around, looking real cute out there.

I do think he got a little shorter.

It's a white.

Okay.

The white, the white made him look shorter.

Yeah. There was one run where I was like, damn, he's short.

Well, you forget how short he is. Yeah. After like nine months of not seeing Kyler Murray ever, now you see him and you're like, holy shit, that dude.

He's, he looks out there.

He looks like he's five. Five when he's on the field.

Yeah.

It's the way that his head little, his little head bobbles around.

Yeah. And he kind of, he runs kind of side to side. Like a toddler going forward.

Yeah, it's like a toddler.

Yeah. But good win. For the Bills, because I know that there was probably some bills mafia that was a little nervous there when it was 17 to three, and they're like, what's going on? We also got a kick return, which was fun.

Yeah.

Because we were promised more kick returns, and we got one that was cool. Especially if you bet the Cardinals like I did.

Yeah, that was, it was a fun play. It's fun when it works, when they actually, like, run it out. But in order to make teams stop just trying for touchbacks every time they have to. You get the ball to 30 now.

Yeah.

It goes out of the back of the end zone. They gotta, they gotta make it worse. They gotta say, you get the ball at 35 if it goes out of the back. Well.

And we also saw more kicks out of bounds going to the 40, because I feel like kickers are trying to be more precise with it.

They're trying to get King.

They fuck it up.

The one guy that has the hang of that ba, from the Cowboys.

Yeah. Well, he's, he is the, the guy.

He's the new guy.

Aubrey is the guy. Yeah, he's. Justin Tucker's no longer the guy. I mean, we're gonna get to Cowboys game, but that 66 yarder that he nailed, I can't believe they didn't let him try a 71.

71 would have been fun.

Kickers are kickers, too. Good.

Kickers got really, really good, and we tried to fuck with their psychology by backing up the extra point to make the extra points. No longer gimmes.

Yeah.

Actually missable. And then they just stepped their game up after that.

Kickers, they're too good.

If you look at how good kickers were in the, in the mid to late nineties compared to today, it's unreal how much better they are. And we thought that kickers in the nineties were really, really good because they weren't like the old fashioned guys that were, you know, like smoking cigarettes on the sideline. Part time mechanics, they step out there and they tow poke it from the sixties. But kickers are just really, really good now.

And I think it's even going, bleeding into the college game like there. I've seen some kickers make 50 plus yarders in the college game, which feels like it never happens. Yeah. And if I've seen a bunch of.

Them this year, well, now we've got them going to camps when they're like eight years old.

Yeah. In Australia is just pumping them out.

Yeah.

Left and right. Okay. Next up, Texans 29, Colts 27. The eleven year streak continues, so this is officially 11th year the Colts have lost their week. One game, which is pretty shocking, pretty crazy. But that, I mean, they, they were in this game. Anthony Richardson, I guess I would say I see it because how can you not when he had a probably the most impressive throw of the day where he slipped and still threw a 60 like recovered and through a 60 yard dime to Alec Pierce, which went 65 yards in the air. But he also only completed nine passes.

Did he really?

Yeah, nine for 19 for 212 yards and he had a 60 and a 54 yard.

Because I was going to say, I distinctly remember another, another long pass that he completed.

Yes.

But he's fun. He's really, really fun to watch.

I see the vision. I just don't know if it will work.

And he ran. He did a good job running with the ball, too.

Yeah.

Still took a lot of hits. I feel like that's just something that he's going to do. If you're a Colts fan, I think you can put away the fantasy of we need to have Anthony Richardson learn to take care of his body more. I don't think that's going to happen. I think what you have is an awesome quarterback who's very fun to watch and will put himself in harm's way all the time.

Yes.

I don't think you're going to change him. I think that's kind of who he is.

Yeah.

Because they probably spent the last twelve months telling him, hey, we need you to be more careful with your body when you're running with the football. And he's like, no, I got it, I got it. And then he gets out of the football field is like, no, fuck everybody. Yeah, I'm going to run through people.

Yeah. So that's just road. I'm going to throw absolute rockets, I'm going to throw bombs and then I'm only going to complete nine passes.

Yeah. I did not know that he only completed nine passes.

I want to double check because maybe I have it wrong. I'm pretty sure he went nine for 19, which is a crazy stat line given the two touchdown passes that he threw that were awesome to watch. I mean, that one two. If you. I consider myself a doubter of Anthony Richardson, but watching that throw that he made to Alec Pierce, I get it. I get how you couldn't be like, if we can just figure out a way to get this guy to be consistent. Yeah. Nine for 19.

For nine for 19.

If we can get, find a way to get him to be consistent and make the short passes as well as he makes the long passes. I understand being like, this is worth the project because very few guys have what he did on that throw speaker. Zero.

Yeah, but we know what he is like as someone who's not a fan. Well, I guess technically I kind of am a fan. A season ticket holder for the Colts, but without any real skin in the game. He's a guy that if he's playing on one of the side tvs, I'm going to spend a disproportionate amount of my time watching every snap that he takes on offense.

Yes.

Because he's very fun. And when he does, when he tried, when he takes off, or if he uncorks one, it's like, you want to watch this guy play live?

Yes. The other big story from this game is Joe Mixon is still good. He had 159 yards rushing. But the bigger story is Joe Mixon is an absolute psycho. He went no gloves, which was maybe the hardest thing you can do is as a running back, no gloves.

Nick Chubb does that, right? Yeah, Nick Chubb does that.

It's.

Sometimes he tapes his fingers a little bit.

I just. I get hurt thinking about that, like getting. You get stepped on. You're at the bottom of the pile, you have no glove. I know the gloves don't stop if someone steps on you. Gloves aren't going to stop it, but it feels like it was going to stop, you know what I mean?

It feels better holding the ball. Gets in on skin contact. If you wear a glove, it's like taking a raincoat with a shower.

Right?

It's very intimidating. It's. What's the guy from the Bengals that does that? Defensive end, he was on the Saints. Hendrickson, Hendrickson. He also goes, no gloves, but on the defensive side, yes. Maybe. Maybe crazier.

It's just a crazy move no matter what. And I just. Because, like, I know this will make no sense, but, like, I sleep with a shirt on because I always think, like, what happen if someone, like, if an emergency happened, someone shot me, I'd rather have a shirt on. Not that it would stop it, but it would probably make it feel a little bit better.

And then when, if they take your body out on a stretcher.

Yeah.

They're like, oh, that guy looks good. He's wearing a shirt.

Oh, he's got together golf, just tried to throw another interception, and it was dropped. We'll get to this game. But that just happened. But, yeah, Joe Mixon, gloveless. Loveless is a good hard as fuck.

It's a good look. And CJ Stroud. Still, still good. Still very, still very, very good.

Yeah, but I, the scary thing from watching this game was that, like the Texans, if Joe Mixon runs like that, their offense can't be stopped.

Yeah. Texans are all in.

Yeah. I also, there was a true, like wild boys moment between the two coaches because we had the Texans with, I don't know, three minutes left up to, decided on the fourth and goal on the two yard line, went for it. When they could have kicked a field goal and got up five. They went for it. Got it. It was like, holy shit. That was crazy. Like, you go up, you go up five there every time so that you can't lose the field goal. And then the Colts did the same thing where they were down nine with like a minute and a half left on the two, fourth and two on the goal line, and they went for it and got it. Neither one made sense to me, but they both worked.

They were just going both fuck it mode.

Yeah. Because like Shane Steichen, if you don't get that, the game's over. If you get the field goal, I guess, I guess I understand.

I like going for the touchdown there because you're at, you're at what, the four yard line?

Yeah.

You're going to. The chances of you getting that close right after you, if you get the ball back pretty low. So I like that movie.

Both were just wild. And then D'Amico, Ryan's. Yeah. Like, I guess do it. I mean, you have CJ Stroud. If you have a play that you love because the play did work perfectly and it was very open.

Yeah. Also, shout out to the Colts fans. When we gave away the tickets for this week, we didn't know if anybody was going to have a Joe Flacco Colts jersey. We thought, we thought maybe those wouldn't exist yet. I think we got five or six sent to us. So shout out to Ewls for picking up the Flacco jerseys early.

Yeah.

It's very impressive.

Yeah, I, yeah, this game, I mean, it was a hard fought game. I. The Texans are good. They're really, really good. I don't know. I'm going to probably find out how good they are on Sunday night.

We remember last year, week one. You remember what game that was for the Texans? It was Texans, Ravens.

Yeah.

And CJ Stroud looked bad week one. And everybody was like, no idea if CJ Stroud is going to be any good at all. Looked like maybe not. And then a lot of things can happen. That's, I say that maybe just because I lost week one and I'm trying to, like, remind myself, things can change.

Things can change.

Things changed a lot for the Texans last year.

Yeah. It's actually shocking the Colts. So the only other thing I would say about Anthony Richardson is his boomer bust. The Texans had time, possession, 40 minutes. That's a lot of minutes. Double the minutes. Yeah, 40 minutes to 20 minutes.

Maybe some more of those. There's eleven passes out incomplete. Yeah, but that also, one or two more of those.

That's also a compliment to Joe Mixon because they just were able to pound the rock.

Are running backs back?

They might be. I think.

I think running backs might be back.

Do you think the Bengals would have kept Joe Mixon if he had said, hey, I'm going to, I'm going to go no gloves next year?

Yes, you have to, because he's a psycho.

It's a crazy move. 30 rushes for 159 yards.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bring back to bell cow.

He, he was a bell cow today. He was a big time bell.

I love that term. I don't even know what a bell cow is. Hank, what's it, what's a bell cow?

It's cow with a bell. Yeah.

Why do they, why do they say belk?

Oh, come on. I. This guy won two bronze medals, and we're doing the celebration. That seems like a lot.

Who was that?

I don't know that it was a long distance runner. It was the first time we met all. Yes, that's right. You're right. You're right. Okay. That guy actually is a badass because we don't win. White American. Dude doesn't, isn't known for long distance. He basically won two gold medals.

Yeah, he beat the Kenyan.

Yeah, he. Dad, you're right. I remember that story, and I was like, how the fuck is he doing this? Okay, good. Call memes. Yeah. Hank, what's a bell cow?

Why is it, why is a bell cow a running back that gets the ball like, 40 times?

Bell cows pace the herd and model the way to go.

Okay, so they lead. It's a cow that.

Do they have a bell on them? I think a lot of the cows do, because you got to be able to hear where they're going. Like, when they're out in the pastures, you want to be able to bring them back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's, that's what I always thought. It's like.

So you don't.

But this is, this cow is wearing a bell so the other cows don't lose him.

Got it.

It's Alpha. It's Alpha.

Isn't that what. What the. The dog is for? The cattle dog is for?

It herds them. But I think sometimes if you. Sometimes you don't need a herding dog if you have a strong enough leader.

Interesting if you got a true alpha. Are these correct, tank? Yeah, these are all correct. Okay. All right, should we do next game? Dolphins 20, Jaguars 17. So Tyree kill pulled the. Scottie Scheffler got detained, not arrested. Marlins man quickly texted me and called me to tell me that he wasn't actually arrested. He was just detained.

Yep.

Shout out, Marlins man. He had it first.

The police officer is on administrative leave right now.

Yep.

The one that I guess took him out and took him to the ground.

Were any pants harmed?

We don't know if the pants were harmed yet. So I'm. I'm waiting for all the facts to come out before I comment on that. But it is. It's interesting to notice that on both the morning that Scottie Scheffler was arrested and Tyreek Hill was taken out of his car, Jeff Darlington was the first to report on both of them. That's interesting. I don't know, because have you seen the movie with Jake Gyllenhaal called Night Crawler? Nightcrawler?

I don't. I have not.

Where. He's a journalist who always happens to be first on the scene.

I've heard about it.

Because he's trying to impress Rene Russo.

Yeah.

And he crosses some journalistic lines. I'm not saying that Jeff Darlington is calling these arrests in, but I am saying that I might say that if it happens again, I'd agree.

No one is more on the scene when an athlete gets arrested merely hours before a game or a golf match.

Yeah.

So also, impressive how fast Scott Boris got there. Oh, he was Drew, I think Drew Rosenau's came out of the bushes, and Clayest Campbell was also there. He also was detained momentarily, trying to break it up. But, yeah, it was a very weird start to the day because I don't know how you guys reacted to it. When I saw that videos like, this is. There's no way this is either him or this just happened then, chefs, I was like, yeah, this just happened.

I thought it was maybe a collab with. I show speed. Yeah, the streamer.

That guy. How's that guy not pro?

I show speed.

Yeah. He's freak athlete. He does everything he does. He's. He's an insane athlete. Why is he not pro in anything?

He probably makes more money streaming.

Probably definitely. But he's so. He beats everyone in races. He's a freak athlete. Jumped over two cars.

Yeah. Back to back.

Yeah.

Pretty impressive. Yeah, it was. It was very strange. But at the same time, if you had asked me, which NFL player would I have not been shocked to find out, got on the way to stadium. Given his past, I probably would have said, tyree kill.

Yeah.

Would be one of the first ones. But it seems like maybe he was speeding. I don't. You have to be speeding pretty fast in Miami to get arrested.

I would imagine his car was probably something that be like, wow, that's. That's a weird car. And it's going really fast. I never understood that when people have not even a Lambo, but one of those weird cars. Remember the three wheel cars people have. And then you should go fast. Cops are like, all right, we're gonna. We're gonna take this guy in. We want. They probably want to look at the car.

If he was. If he was speeding that fast, though, to get arrested, he should have just kept going into the stadium.

Yeah.

And then by the time he got to the security guard, they're like, sorry, cops, you can't come in.

Yeah, I got a game.

Man's going to work. But, yeah, Drew Rosenhaus was on the scene. He was on the sidelines immediately being like, my client did nothing wrong.

Yeah.

And, yeah, I think he had two or three clients that were at the scene. And he just kept saying, my client showed up and saw that my client had been detained by the police. And then my client called me, and I told my client, Drew Rosenhaus, he obviously had a lot to deal with this morning, but, you know, he fucking loves being on tv. He loves being the guy that they go to ask questions.

Yeah. And say, my client did nothing wrong. But then Tyree came, obviously had the incredible 80 yard touchdown, did the handcuff touchdown celebration, which was very cool. He had to do that. This game, though, to me, was just the most Jaguars game possible.

There was one sequence in particular.

Yeah.

With the Jaguars.

Yeah.

And it was. It was a touchdown that turned into. Was an interception.

No, it was Travis ATN. They were up 17 to seven, and he was running in basically free for a touchdown to go up 24 to seven. He got stripped. They got them. They got the. The Dolphins recovered in the end zone. And then the very next play was Tyree kills 80 yard touchdown down the sideline.

Yeah.

And so it went from a 24, a potential 24 walk in touchdown, 24/7 game to a 1714 game in the matter of like three minutes, and that was it. That was it for the Jaguars. They went turnover on downs, four play in a punt and a three and out as their last three drives. And that was it. They just, they just.

Jaguar J and you said that that Tua was the only 300 yard quarterback today, which is crazy because two didn't look that good.

No, no. They look clunky as an offensive unit. I think. I think there was every team kind of looked clunky as an offensive unit. I think the only team, I don't even know who, who looked, who looks incredible offensively. Cowboys look pretty good, but dak wasn't like, lighting it up. Lighting it up. I actually. The one team who looked really good offensively.

The Bucks.

Yeah, the bucks. Baker looked awesome.

The bucks. I have a feeling.

I apologize.

No, no, no.

I didn't mean to do that.

No, we can get to it. I am not going to take any offense at all. And saying that the commander's defense stunk.

Yeah, but, yeah, they look clunky. The one, the one thing I did take away, though, that's not fair that the Dolphins decided to do, is that a chain is now a receiver.

He's very good at.

Caught seven passes for 76 yards. That's not fair. They shouldn't be allowed to do that. They should be like, hey, you, you can't, you can't be a receiver, too, dude. This is just too much speed. So, yeah, I. The Jaguars are just, I mean, Trevor Lawrence was three for seven for 37 yards in the second half. I don't know what they were doing. They. I think they. I think chapstowless. He threw one pass after Etienne's fumble in the end zone and it's just, it was just so.

Jaguars, they were scared.

It was so.

Jack, they're playing scared out there.

Yeah, they, they even. So, the fumble happened, then Tyree kills 80 yard touchdown. Then Doug Peterson decided to go for it on fourth and one from his own 30, and he got stuffed. Now, the Dolphins missed the field goal, but it was just a horrific, horrific ten minutes for the Jaguars that buried them. And it feels like it's similar to last year. Wherever you like. That one pass that I think it was to Gabe Davis, Trevor Lawrence made in the back of the end zone that was perfectly timed. Those things happen where, like, Trevor Lawrence is the guy and then the Jaguars just become the Jaguars again and just fall over themselves.

That might have been Brian Thomas.

That was the Brian Thomas.

Gabe Davis did have a pretty good day today.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was a perfect pass. You're like, oh, man, the anticipation. He just threw it right to where he was going to end up. But, yeah, the Jaguars are. The Jaguars.

Yeah. The first half, it looked like the Jaguars were going to walk away with it, and it wasn't. It didn't look like it was a competitive game at all, do you think?

I have a question, non game related? Mike McDaniel. It's a little too much now with the look. The gold glasses was a little too much.

The gold. We knew he was going to do something extra swaggy this year. He has to, like, level up himself every offseason, and this year it was the glasses and that. He's got like a frog going, like a little mini wavy fro.

Yeah. I have no problem with the hair. The glasses was just, just wear regular glasses. I don't, I don't know. He looks like a Halloween costume. The glasses wearing. I had to. I know we talked college football on Wednesdays, which we will, but I had to, like, what's going on here? One was Mike McDaniel. The other is the Dylan Rayola thing is creepy. Like, I'm actually creeped out by it, how he's trying to steal Patrick Holmes life. It's weird. Yeah. Did you, did you watch it at all? It's weird. I don't think it's that weird. You don't? Not really. I think it's the mic, the jumping up and down before the game is like, it's, it's. No, he was doing, he was, the way he was warming up was basically a copycat for Patrick homes. And the hair is exactly the same. It's weird.

Well, Mahomes calls him lil Cuzzo.

I guess it's not weird if he's calling him lil cuz. I was like, if you want to be the best quarterback in the world, like, why not, you know, just be yourself. Emulate the best quarterback in the world. I'm not. I'm not saying it's. He's a good quarterback. Nebraska's back. That's. That's certifiably true. I was a little creeped out because it feels like he's trying to steal his identity. That was all you, Max. You agree? I agree 100%. I think it's very. I don't understand every single thing. It's crazy. It's the same number, the same arm sleeve, the same hair. The facial hair is the same. It's, it's. It's weird. It's weird. I'm sorry, but I'm a little weirded. Out by it. You wouldn't be weirded out if someone did that exact same thing to Tom Brady?

No.

Really? Well, you didn't want. Did you watch college football? Yeah. Did you watch the Wisconsin game?

I didn't watch Wisconsin game, man. Well, what would somebody want?

I wanted some thoughts on it.

The difference is that Mahomes is much, much more animated than Tom Brady, so it's easier to copy him. Tom Brady would just be like, not really saying a lot, except for let's fucking go.

But if he had.

And winning football, if you do the.

Same botox, had the same hair.

Yeah.

I don't know. I just. Maybe I'm on an island. I'm a little weirded out by it, that's all. Again, he's a great quarterback. People are. I saw the clip. I just saw the clip where he was. It was like both of them jumping up and down or whatever. Like, stretching. Like that just looked like a normal pregame, like, stretch. That, like every quarterback I saw, the one where he was doing, he was getting the ball snapped to him, and he was, like, pretending to throw it with his left hand. That look exactly like Mahome.

Well, also the whole, like, the haircut and the sunglasses and.

Facial hair.

Facial hair. It looks. He's intentionally trying to look like Mahomes. I think he's doing that so when he sees himself in the mirror, he's like a little kid that is like watching their favorite team on tv, and it's like, yeah, I. I'm Tom Brady. Like, I. You get the jersey, you put it on, and you're like, I can be like that guy. He's doing that for his entire life.

Yeah. But also, wouldn't you be mad if you're Matthew Stafford? That's your godson.

Yeah.

Yeah. And he's doing it. He's. He's doing Mahomes.

Yeah. I'd be like, come on, man. Why don't you just get some veneers and.

Oh, no.

Maybe just grow the beard out a little bit, but not the mustache. Don't you want to look like your. Your godfather?

Right, right. By the way, the lions are driving, and Jared just missed Jamir. He slipped. Oh, Jamir Gibbs slipped. They've driven right down the field. Oh, he slipped. That was a walk in. Should we just. Let's. Let's pause for this play and see how it goes. Third and 2106 left in the game. It's 20 to 17. Rams. Lions are going left to right on the screen. You know how they say that on.

The left, right across your radio.

Yeah, radio. As they say, when, when you listen to a game on radio, they always give those context because people are listening to this thing. They're not watching it. All right, I'll do, I'll do a quick ad and then we can get to the rest of the game. Do we have anything else for dolphins? Jaguars. Besides the jaguars? Of the jaguars.

I feel for Tyree kill. I really do. He said that when he was getting detained, not arrested, that he told the police officers, one day, I want to be a police officer.

Oh, he's gonna do the shack thing.

He's like, I respect you, so please don't arrest me because I want to be one of you one day.

Interesting.

Tyree kill will be a hilarious police officer.

Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe that's the solution. Just give him some lights, drive as fast as you want. He's got some surprise. Got some teal and orange lights going on.

I'm maybe not in Miami because Miami's got a lot going on, but I'm surprised in Green Bay or Cleveland, they don't just give all the players lights.

Yeah.

On game day.

So Pittsburgh.

Yeah, Pittsburgh. Just like, hey, Buffalo. Just, hey, you gotta get to the game. Hit the lights and get to the game.

There's no bigger emergency in Pittsburgh than playing on the Steelers and having to get to the game on time.

Yeah. TJ Watt needs to get on. Needs to get to that game.

Yeah.

All right, the official review. I'll do an ad. Game time football season is here and we can't wait to get out to some games this fall. With the help of game time, the official ticketing partner, Barstool Sports. You know how much we love game time. Now with their brand new game time picks feature, they're making it even easier to get to a game. Game time picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. I am actually going to Wisconsin, Alabama on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to losing by 30, but I use game time and I use the game time pick steal for great seats. So just pull up your chosen event and turn on the GT pick setting at the top of the screen. Or browse the best local game time picks deal near you on your game time app homepage. What are you waiting for? I'm going to that game on Saturday and I'm doing it with game time. So download the game time app today and use code PMT to easily score great deals with new game time picks.

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We got free football. A little free sunny night football. Just keep it going. Keep this game going until, until Monday night.

Henry. Yes. The new England Patriots are want to know.

Congratulations, Hank. Thank you. What I tell you? Jacobi Brissette.

Yeah, he, by the way, so Patriots 16, Bengals ten. Pete PrISCO, next time he comes on, we're going to have to have a word with him because Jacoby Brissette has the Patriots to want to know. He said after the game, I think I cried three times before the game. He cried on the way in and Gerard Mayo was like, why are you crying, man? You're about to win us this game. Jacobi percept big crier.

Big crier. I like it.

Doesn't matter. Won that game.

Are you can know you're allowed to cry before a football game.

Before, yeah.

Or during the national anthem.

Yeah. This was not.

If you haven't won a Super bowl, you can cry. Not if you're a coach. Like, no. Sean Moreno.

Yes.

He's allowed to cry. If you're a coach of either team. That's too much motion.

Yes, yes.

You got to be a leader of men.

You can't be crying if you're a coach before a Super bowl.

No.

Because then everyone will be like, hey, remember when you cried and then lost the Super bowl?

Yeah. And then that Gif is just going to be used anytime you screw up.

Yeah. And that guy wearing the crazy pants was in the 500 level.

That's probably why he was crying.

Jalen hurts his dick this second.

He probably smelled Max and that's why he cried.

Yeah, Hank. Yes. That was I, I. The Patriots are going to just do this to teams. They're going to get in rock fights. This was the definition of a rock fight. It was good defense, some special teams, some fumbles. Run the ball. Rock fight. Win it 16 to ten. Are you feeling good? One and oh, club. Yeah, one oh, club. It's, it's always good to win. You know, you didn't have high expectations for the year, but, but you go into a Sunday when you're expecting to get blown out and you win. It's fun. Yeah.

You guys kept it ugly. And the Bengals did not look sharp at all.

This is what they do.

Well, what happened was t Higgins, we thought maybe Jamar wouldn't play. Then Jamar's like, yeah, I'll play. And then T Higgins isn't playing, but.

He got food poisoning.

But they never, they probably just had skyline.

They start slow every year. They're one in five now in the Joe Burrow era. Week ones, they, their one win was the overtime win they had against the Steelers, remember?

Yep.

So they don't cover the spread. They don't win week one games. This is what they do. They start slow and they. It's probably because your number one and number two receiver were in and out of practice and in and out of training camp. Joe Burrows coming back from an injury. Christian Gonzalez also played. Yeah. No, and the Patriots are. I think the Patriots are, are in that category of teams this year that you can't put them in. I know everyone thought they were going to be really, really bad. They're not going to be the Panthers of the world. They're going to win games by just like rock fights. And based off of what, you know, what they said after the game, like Mayo speech was really, really good. It seems like the players are getting up to play. Yeah. For him, which is a good sign. So are you excited? You think, you think in the offs? I'm not thinking the Ops, but I'm a lot. I'm infinitely more excited than I was on Saturday.

Infinitely, infinitely.

Cuz you weren't that excited on Saturday? No, I'm thinking eight. Eight wins. Jacoby might get us eight.

Yeah, I mean, I took the, what was their, their season total? Five and a half.

I think four.

I think was five. Maybe I took over on five and a half alternate, but, yeah, Jacoby is a fine, he's a fine quarterback.

Who do you got next week? Seahawks. Listen, Seahawks offensive line was not looking good. Guess the line fence might eat.

Oh, where is it?

I. It's in New England.

I'm gonna say Seahawk. I think Seahawks are favored.

I think Seahawks minus two and a half.

I'm gonna say three.

What is it? That's what it is. What? I don't know which one. I think it's three. I mean, it's close enough. All you give us. Yes. To both.

What is, which one is 2.7 for.

Guessing the line on draftkings. Go ahead. Gets the line. What's the line? I saw three. Whose line is it anyways? Actually, the name of the segment.

Yeah.

Oh, Stafford almost threw a pick. Three would have three. Three. Okay. Yeah. I mean, the pictures are a live dog as long as they make them a dog. Also, they're just gonna, they're gonna shorten games. And I know that there was fumble luck, by the way, hank, I know you don't believe in fumble luck. I have a stat for you, though. Yes. You ready for it? Mm hmm. Here's a stat. Fumble luck stat of the day. Do the sound. The fumble luck stat of the day.

Boy. Oh, yeah, there it is.

The Cincinnati Bengals, last season lost two fumbles. The Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday lost two fumbles. That was the fumble luck stat of the day.

That's a good, that's a good stat.

Of, it's crazy, right? Because that's really what it comes down to, is like, do you recover your own fumbles? They led the league last year. They had only lost two fumbles the entire season. On Sunday, they lost two, especially one going into the end zone. That's the difference in the game.

Fumble looks not always luck, though.

Hovering fumbles.

Yeah, but if, like, your offensive linemen are hustling down the field, like that crazy play in the Bears game. Yeah, that, like, bounced off the defender's helmet and then it was caught by Rome and then fumbled the ball.

Yeah.

Offensive line was down there to block. Yeah, you can make, you can make your own fumble luck sometimes, but there.

Is, there's an art to picking up a fumble and, yeah, there's, I don't know, the luck happens, but the Patriots, listen, they they're salty team. Then when I do my power power rankings, I'm gonna just be like kings of the rock fight.

I feel like a remondre might be in bell cow territory, too. Yeah, right.

120 yards, 25 carries.

I love that stat line. 25 carries, 120 yards long of 17. That's just a good old fashioned bell cow.

Now, we love Joe Burrow. He's a friend of the program, and he doesn't have to listen to us. He doesn't have to take any of our advice. Whatever. They play the chiefs next week. If they start Owen to have to, have to go back to the natural.

Hair, cut the hair well after. Well, the roots are growing out a little bit.

I know, but you got it.

That's what I'm saying. I think you can cut it short.

Yeah, you have to. You just can't have that as an. You can't be an Owen to quarterback with the bleach blonde tips.

You can't. Yeah. You can't do really anything that makes you stand out if you're not good. Yeah, that's the trick. If you're bad, just try to fly under the radar.

Yeah. The good news is the Bengals have been here before because they do this every year.

Yeah.

Although the one year that they did win their week one game, they went to the Super bowl.

Well, the crazy thing is, this is probably the healthiest that Joe Burrow has been in three years to start the season.

Yeah. I don't think it's panic for the Bengals, although you'd probably prefer to not start like this every.

Well, also, we should say at the start of the game, there were a. I pretty much two touchdowns that the Bengals had taken off the board.

Yeah.

There was a mica Seki catch that got taken off, and then I think they had a fumble deep in the red zone, too.

Well, that was the, that happened after they fought. That wasn't yet. That was just a fumble at the goal line. Yeah.

Yeah, that was just bad.

So he was kind of holding it weird.

It was bad. I mean, fumbles in fumbles and drop passes are bad, but it could have been. It could have gone the other way.

Yeah. Also, they. Dan Hurley was the ruler of the jungle, and that didn't work out. Do you think was negated by Joey chest? I was thinking about it more after, I know this is hindsight, but Joey Chestnut basically went into Cincinnati and Alpha their citizens. That, that might have killed the vibes for the bangles.

You beat, what? Five of them?

Five of them?

Yeah, five. Verse one.

Yeah.

Yeah. Of course, Joey Chestnut could go ten.

Verse one, but that's that. Like, if you're someone from Cincinnati and you watch that happen, that's a. That's a brutal feeling.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not good. It's not go. How did they determine who got to compete with him?

I think they just.

50 50 raffle.

Yeah. Yeah. Drew out of hat. All right, we're going to the coin flip in overtime. Remember when they screwed up the coin flip with the Steelers and Lions way back in the day?

Yep.

That was crazy.

Jerome Bettis, they said heads and tails, I think.

Did you know he played for the Rams? What?

Wait, was. He was Jerome Bettis from Detroit and.

He played for the Rams?

Shut up.

He never played in a Super bowl in Detroit, did he?

Next thing you know, you're going to tell me that Jalen hurts can squat 500 pounds of.

We get it. He can. Okay. He's really good at squatting.

No, I love that. I love the fact that they bring it up four times a game now.

I think that he had. He had that one play where he just ran over and they were like, yeah, he can squat three of these defensive backs.

Yeah.

Yep. Yeah. It was cool. It was cool. So, Hank, not thinking yoffs, but happier and more excited about the future.

What's.

Win some division games. Win some division games.

Are you Mayo boy?

Yeah.

Yeah. Mayo boys up.

Do you want Drake Mae to play soon? No. What? At what point, though? If you're. I guess you. I guess you have to. There's that weird balance of, like, if Jacoby Brissette wins enough games, you don't want to make the switch. But then also, you wouldn't mind having Drake may come in and get his feet wet with a team that isn't as bad as you thought it would be. But if we're thinking yoffs, you can't make a switch.

It's been really strange this preseason, hearing how people are talking about Drake May. They're saying almost universally, Drake May is going to be a good quarterback. He just needs to sit for a year.

Yeah.

How could you be that certain that he's going to be good if you're also certain that he needs to be sitting right now?

Makes no sense. You also.

I don't think.

We talked about Belichick's comments about. Yeah, no. Belichick hates Caleb Williams. He's made it very clear. What are you going to do?

And he wants to coach again.

Belichick also is like, listen, best coach of all time. Also put his entire reputation with Mac Jones to end his career. So does he know quarterbacks? I don't know what he said about Caleb. He said, like, all, he completed half his passes, he's not good.

Also, if Bill Belichick is such a great quarterback evaluator, wouldn't he have taken Tom Brady in the fifth round? Fair question or the fourth round?

Fair question.

Maybe the third round.

Fair question.

Maybe the second round.

Yeah, I just, basically, anytime someone, including the best coach of all time, comes a kill bones, I have to think of some way to spin it. So I just kept on saying, yeah, well, he drafted Mac Jones, so.

And he signed the ghost of Cam Newton.

It just ignore everything else.

Yeah.

Yeah. What did you think, Hank? You. You like that? You want, you want. I want bears to be good.

No, I want the bears to be good.

I've said it a million times. I want the city to be buzzing with, with bears fever.

It is.

You don't mean that. He doesn't. I do. You say it, but you don't. Doesn't mean it. I absolutely do. What about the commanders?

He doesn't give a shit.

I don't really care. What about the Eagles? Eagles. I want to lose in, like, as painful fashion.

This is what's so painful for me is that, like, at the, my long.

I have no beef with Chicago.

I long for teams to care about my team one way or the other, and I don't blame them for being like, I don't give a shit about the commanders.

Yeah.

We've been irrelevant.

Right.

I just want, I want, we were in Philly the other week, and somebody asked me, do you think they're gonna get a fuck. The commanders chant going, I was like, no, no, they don't. They don't give a shit about it. Like, I yearn to be good enough to have the city of Philadelphia hate me.

Right.

That's my goal.

Right. It is a weird thing that, like, in Philly, like, everyone hates the giants, everyone hates the cowboys. Yeah.

And that's, that hurts. That's the. I don't think about you at all. Yeah. And it stings. That's more than anything. I just want to get to the point where I can have enemies again.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's fun to have enemies.

It is. You have enemies. You. The enemies aren't. Don't reciprocate. I mean, I have it similar. I, packers fans hate Bears fans, but, and they hate the Bears, but they also just big brother us.

Yeah.

You're like, oh, that's nice. Oh, you got another quarterback speaking of which, we can go to the next. You want to be the Lions? Like the Lions?

Yes.

Yes, that. But now they're getting a little bit. Have a little bit of juice. Yeah. I'm getting close to hating the Lions.

Yeah.

I want them to win tonight, but I'm getting close to hitting them.

I want to be good enough to have people despise me.

Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of a good segue, the Steelers 18, Falcons ten. I didn't bring this up when we were talking about Bears titans, but Justin Fields started this game, and Justin Fields and Caleb Williams had a combined 20 drives today and zero touchdowns.

Yeah, it was just like, it just all stalled out. Once they got anywhere close, they were just living with field goals today. And Tomlin, Mike Tomlin without a hat on is one of the more shocking things that I've seen. It was crazy long time, and it's wild because Tomlin's been coaching in the league for. Forever.

Yeah.

And I feel like we've never seen him with a hat. Without a hat until today.

Yeah.

And it was. It. It took my breath away. I was like, who is that?

You did. You stopped you to start. We also had, and it was clarified that Russell Wilson was the emergency quarterback, but there was a tweet that went super viral that just, this is when, you know, you. You're kind of down bad because everyone just makes a narrative on you. They're like, Russell Wilson's inactive today and he's dressed in full pat. Yeah, he was the emergency quarterback.

I thought the same thing. I thought he was inactive, but it.

Would be Russell Wilson to do that. Yeah.

In fact, I saw Russell on the sideline and I was like, oh, I know he's inactive, but that's not weird for Russell Wilson at all to be wearing. Correct.

Yeah, correct. So, yeah, that that was. He was. He was technically emergency quarterback, so that's why he was in pads, by the way, David Montgomery is just a monster.

I think this was the perfect game for Russell Wilson because they. Justin played good enough to get a win.

Yeah.

And he did not play good enough to take the starting job from Russell Wilson, who hasn't even had a start yet, but still, he's penciled in there as a starter. But there's not going to be any talk this week about, like, maybe we should just stick with Justin.

Yeah. There was nothing that I saw from Justin Fields that said, oh, everything's changed. The only thing that changed for him is he had a defense that could back him up.

Yeah. If you were to draw it up. If you were Drew Bledsoe and you saw Tom Brady's first like 16 starts, you want them all to look like this.

Yeah, he was. He did just enough to get you, like you said, get him into field goal range. They had six field goals. Our guy stadthole, which you should check out, he has a great blog every week. Recapping all the stats, Chris Boswell was 1 yd shy of the all time record for most yards in field goals in a game. So he had 273 yards of field goals. Jason Myers had 274 a few years ago, but Boswell added a 43 yard punt. So I think he should get the.

Record all time kicking record.

Yeah, most yards. Although there's probably someone.

Yeah, I was punter.

Yeah. But this was just a field goal game. We also had in this game, TJ Watt is so good that he confuses the refs.

Yeah. So he's, he's not technically offsides, but it looks like he's offsides.

He timed it so he timed a snap so well and then strip, I think did twice strip sacked Kirk Cousins, but they called him offsides and he. He's so good at how he times it. The ref apologized to him afterwards and said he fucked it up.

Yeah.

Which is nuts.

He was getting some crazy jumps. He was always in the backfield.

He was everywhere.

And every time there's a ball on the ground, TJ Watt is the first person on the field he sees the ball on the ground before the guy who fumbles. Yeah, it's crazy. He's just always crawling towards a football. Yeah, he played really well today. Kirk Cousins did not play that rusty. Great. Yeah, he looked like he's still recovering from something. Now, Kirk's never been the most mobile guy in the world. Yeah, but, but I've seen him move around a little bit better and that.

That was a weird Kirk Cousins game because he had a. I think he had two interceptions and usually Kirk Cousins interceptions are not like horrendous. He's just careless with the ball. He was careless with those. He was just kind of throwing it up there as he was getting sacked, being like, I don't know where this is going.

Nobody is better except Will Levis had a couple of these today. But Kirk Cousins is very good at throwing intentionally incomplete passes.

Yes.

Kirk is the man.

Throwing it at their feet.

Yeah. Bounce like exactly 1ft in front of them to the point where their receiver won't even make a play on it. But he's not trying to complete the pass at all. And it doesn't look like it's intentional. But he's very good at trying to miss passes.

But Kirk Cousins did not look good today. The Steelers look like they are the exact same Steelers every single year where they're going to be hard to watch offensively, but their defense is so good, they're going to win these games where they're an underdog.

Yeah. One of the most funny plays of the game was George Pickens, who does six insane things every game, three of which are insane in terms of like, body control. And then the other three are insane in terms of like, clinically, mentally insane.

Yes.

At the end of the first half, he caught a ball on the sidelines. I think at the time that he caught it, there were like 4 seconds left. And then he comes down, tries to cut back and stay in bounds to gain another, like five meaningless yards at that point. But the clock would have run out. But his toe was on the line.

Yes.

So they ended up having 1 second left in the half.

Yes.

And so unintentionally he did the right thing, which is. That's a big upgrade for George. Like, you don't have to, you don't have to necessarily try to do the right thing as long as you end up doing the right thing.

Right. Right.

Sometimes bad intentions can lead to good results.

Yeah, that's what happened. He is so crazy.

He's nuts.

Also shout out the Falcons. They used Bijon and Kyle Pitts. Hank, this is actually going to be a very painful. The Lions are about to score. David Montgomery is going to score the touchdown. I let everyone down. I'm out of the pick for next year. Next week we're going to make it a pick three. Think of how electric this moment would be, right. It would have been the most electric moment in PMT history to have David Montgomery hit that parlay for the people. I apologize to everyone. Dalton Kincaid had moment would have been so. We would have been going nuts in overtime. He just took over Dalton Kincaid out of the night. Dalton Kincaid had a play drawn up for him on the ten yard line that got tipped at the, at the line of scrimmage. He would have walked in. I can't believe that.

Good pick, Hank. Cal Pitts.

Great pick for the three of you. I'm out. So next week. So how we're going to do it is if someone misses, they're out and we'll make it three three to score. So we have a better chance of actually hitting it. Because if I was out, what's going to happen when it's not one person that doesn't, we'll just flip a coin. Yeah. Whoever had the better, whoever was closer, I apologize, but my parlay hit big cat parlay. So at least you maybe people rate road that that one didn't lose. Wink. But it didn't lose. But the Lions won 26 20. That was an awesome game.

That was a great game.

That was an awesome game.

Football rocks.

What were we talking about? Oh, Steelers Falcon.

Yeah, Steelers Falcons. Oh, another thing with George Pickens, I actually think that Mike Tomlin likes having those kind of guys on his team at some point you have to say, like we've always said, mike Tomlin's done a great job of managing crazy personalities in the past, but also lost in that is the fact that Mike Tomlin always has crazy personalities on his team. I think he really enjoys having one guy who's a challenge.

Yes.

And then he shows the rest of the team like, I will, I will reach this one guy and then everyone sees him doing that. And that's how they all follow Mike.

Yes. Yes. And he is up to the task for it. But yeah, I, I walked away from this game being like the Falcons are going to still be the, I mean, if Kirk Cousins is, is going to be this rusty, I don't think they're going to bench hime. But it definitely derails what they expected out of this season if he's going to take a while to get going. They were playing the Steelers, who have a very good defense and it's, if you, if you had to pick one team to go up against as a like 35 year old guy who's coming back from achilles, probably not. TJ Watt.

Yeah, not a good, not a good idea to do that. So whole defense is very good.

So we'll, we'll see what happens when they, when they play some different defenses. But, but the Steelers are the exact same Steelers and I expect them to be the exact same Steelers and they're going to be low scoring games. They're going to win. When you think that they're not going to win, they're going to probably lose a couple games that they should win and they're going to finish nine eight.

I do think that the offense looked better, though.

Yeah, it did.

Compared to last year.

Yeah. Najee ran hard and George Pickens is awesome. If you can figure out a way to get the ball to George Pickens, he's insane.

Yeah. If you can.

Hands are insane. His body control is insane.

Limit him to just one unsportsmanlike conduct penalty per game.

Yeah.

And I think you usually win those games.

Yeah. I was a little confused. They didn't really run Jalen Warren at all.

Yeah. Not cause Najee looked good.

Yeah. But it was. I do feel like Jalen Warren gives him another element that just. I don't know.

Well, he was a lot better than Najee last year.

Yeah. Okay, next up we have Vikings 28, Giants six. Here is where Giants fans are at. This is from China Twitter account. He said, in a serious country, Daniel Jones would be beaten with hammers.

Is that china?

He's probably right. Yeah.

China this country.

Probably.

He wasn't great today, big cat.

I don't think so.

Pick six. That he threw in the first half. The fans booing the entire organization at halftime.

Ridiculous. Throwback jerseys, which you don't wear on week one.

The pants. I don't mind the jersey itself. The pants and the helmet are gross.

Yeah. They were Michigan's helmets.

It's a gross setup and you don't do that. Week one, all fans want on week one, take the family to a game. See the colors that you haven't seen.

Right.

In nine months. Go out there and watch what you know to be your favorite football team in your favorite colors. Play a football game.

Correct.

And then you show up to the stadium and they're wearing the ones that look like something. It looks like a piece of turd that Superman shit out.

Right.

It's a bad, bad uniform combo. You can sprinkle it in occasionally, maybe wear them in the preseason, maybe wear them once. Once you're out of playoff contention, then you can sprinkle those in.

They also.

Not week one.

Right. That's a. Yeah. Or that's a random Thursday night throwback night in the middle of November.

Especially if it's like a bad team.

Right.

Playing on that Thursday, at least we have new uniforms. Correct. Maybe they're a different team.

I also just don't like when teams do the throwbacks just to do the throwbacks when they're regular jerseys are classics. It's. It's when the Steelers did the Bumblebees.

Yeah.

Like, what are you doing? The Steelers have incredible jerseys. Why would you do the throwback for that?

Well, then you want to also sell more jerseys.

Correct. But I just hate it. I don't know. I. There's some classic jerseys that you just don't need to do throwbacks on. And week one, and we're getting. We're talking too much about jersey. It's Daniel Jones. It's over. It's been over. He's going to cost Brian dable his job, who I still think is not a bad coach, but I think it's going to cost him his job. You had fans yelling at Daniel Jones going into the game or was that after the game?

I think.

I think that's even worse.

Yeah, I don't think it was going in. Going in would have been mean.

Going in would have been me. But going out is worse in a, in a weird way. Cause you just had, I mean, that interception he threw to Van Ginkle, what is he doing?

Yeah, it was, it was pretty bad. And there were also a lot of bad clips of that front off. Why did they agree to do hard knocks?

It makes no sense. That team especially was probably Mister Mara's call.

It was probably Mister mayor trying to generate more revenue for the league as a whole. He's a team player. But the clips that were going around after the Saquon Barkley night were bad. Made even worse by what happened with Daniel Jones.

Yes.

And their owner talked about Saquon being like the most popular player by far. Like, I'm going to lose sleep if he goes to the Eagles. I have no idea why they allowed to make that to television. Yeah, why didn't, why did you not keep that out?

It makes no sense. It makes no sense. But yeah, it's over for Dan Jones. And I am on the flip side. I am throwing my vote behind Sam Donald for guy who's going to be better than everyone expected this year. I said it was a loser leaves town game for me personally, whoever played better in this game, I was going to throw all my weight behind. Hey, he's not as bad as everyone thinks he is. So. So Daniel Jones, actually, he isn't as bad as everyone thinks he is. He's worse, but Sam Darnold is not as bad as everyone thinks he is. He's better.

Yeah. Sam Darnold, late bloomer.

Seven year bump.

Late bloomer for him. He looked not bad in this offense. Kevin O'Connell's good. He knows how to make quarterbacks play good. And two of those reasons are Justin Jefferson, Jordan Addison. Addison got hurt though, today, so I don't know if he's again. Yeah, I think he got hurt. Right?

I don't know. He went hurt.

I think he may have left the game hurt. Okay, so that's not good for the Vikings, but I do think that Sam Darnold played well.

Yeah. By the way, NFC north tough division. Three out of the four teams are one and odd. That's fucking tough.

Tough big boy. Football.

Big boy football. Big boy football.

Which team isn't the Green Bay packers but Jordan loves.

Okay. FC is three.

No.

Oh, memes.

Big boy football. Memes.

We're gonna get to you, memes. But you got a big one. I'm gonna do that real quick. That tweet. NFC north. As is. NFC north. The best division in football is the. Aaron Jones is good. And I don't know. I'm happy, but I don't know why the packers got rid of him for Josh Jacobs.

I don't either. I don't like the fact that when you saw him score his first touchdown, people were like, wait, that's not, that's not James Cook. Wait, that's not Alexander Madison.

Yeah.

Wait, that's Aaron Jones.

Yeah.

Actually, they have a type.

We, when, when you do the three way triangle trade, I think the packers lost all of it because Alexander Madison is on the Raiders. Right. Yeah. And he looked not bad.

Yep.

Scored a touchdown, right?

Yep.

And Aaron Jones looked good.

That's the, that's the domino that will be talked about for decades to come in the NFL.

Yeah. But, yeah, the Giants are just, this is, it's didn't just stop and they're just, I guess if you're a Giants fan, at least, you know, so it's, it's so apparent. Like, you can now just watch college football on Saturday and be like, who's our next quarterback? Right.

And, and if you're a Vikings fan, you're like, this, this year might be okay.

Yeah.

You might be decent.

Sam Donald might not be bad. Seven year bump.

I would put him as the, the top backup in the NFL right now because he started. He's.

Oh, yeah, technically. Yeah. Yeah.

Cause he, I think he outperformed Justin Fields, who is the other backup that's a starter.

That's right.

So I would put him as one gardener still. He's a backup.

He is a backup in nature.

Gardener is a backup by vibe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Very much so. All right, last game of the early window. Saints 47, Panthers ten. If you want to feel really, really dumb as a human being, bet on Bryce Young. It's a really good way to humble yourself. I did it. And it was one single pass into the game that I remembered. Oh, yeah. This guy stinks. And the Panthers are bad. Yeah.

I want very much for, for Bryce to show glimpses, show flashes. Just because I feel terrible for Panthers fans.

Yeah.

Because your franchise is in the biggest, deepest, darkest hole and it's going to continue to get deeper because of the pick situation. That you guys have.

Correct.

And you've got the owner that, that you don't really like. You got just all bad things going on around your organization. So I want Bryce to look like he might give you some hope and you didn't really get that at all today.

He threw a pick on his first throw, and then later on in the first quarter, he got basically tackled by his own lineman. Did you guys see that highlight? That was bad. His, and when I mean tackled like the lineman is just, was just standing there being a 300 pound lineman, and Bryce Young happened to graze up next to him and fell over. Yeah, I, I'm at the point now where I feel bad for Bryce Young, so I actually looked it up. He's made $25 million.

That's good.

Yeah, that's, I did that almost as like, I feel so bad. I got to think of something. He made $25 million. Yeah.

Good for him. I still feel bad for, for the fans, though. You should be. We talk about this, I think pretty much every year for the worst team, whether or not you're allowed to just change your allegiance as a fan. I think under certain circumstances you should be allowed to.

Yes.

I think you should have to pay some sort of penalty. Like if you go to prison for a year, I think you could go to prison and then you could come out and you could say, I'm now a fan of this completely different city, but you have to take on all that city's teams.

Yeah. And Bryce Young, like the Panthers, that is prison.

Do you think that's a, that's a.

Year of prison you're going through?

Do you think that anybody has moved out or is going to move out of Charlotte primarily for the reason.

Yes.

That they don't like the Carolina Panthers anymore.

They just can't stand David temper.

I think that might have, I think you might see a handful of people start to do that right now. Yeah, I would consider leaving Charlotte.

Yeah, you should leave.

Just move to Raleigh.

Just go to, go to. Go to San Diego and be a hardball guy.

Yeah, that's a great point.

Yeah, just be a hardball guy. But, yeah, the, you really, really feel dumb when you bet on the Panthers. I don't know why. I thought maybe we even said it on Friday. They went an entire season without taking a snap leading in the fourth quarter. And then my dumb shit for brains self was like, yeah, you know what, Panthers.

Yeah, you tried to outsmart yourself.

I mean, that's my whole theory was, you can't be as bad as you were last year. No, you can.

You ironically outsmarted yourself by trying to outsmart yourself.

Correct. Saints look good, though.

They. Well, Clint Kubiak was on the sidelines.

Yeah. Yep.

So mystery solved.

Dialing it up.

Yeah. Loose lip sync ships. And Dennis Allen knows that. You can't be telling tales out of school to the media.

Listen, I was not familiar with Dennis Allen's game. It worked.

Yeah. Clint Kubiak called a great game. Yeah, from the sidelines. From the sidelines, not from the booth.

Yeah.

And the Panthers didn't know what to do with that. They were looking for him in the wrong places.

Derek Carr was good.

Derek Carr was good.

They.

They fed him, like a steady diet of taste him hill right off the start.

Yeah. Camaraderie. Taste him hill just running downhill.

Rashid Shahid looks super fast.

Love saying his name.

I don't like his number, though.

What is his number?

I think it's 22.

Okay.

It's in the twenties. A guy like that either should be eleven or maybe like 81, 82. To remind you that he plays wide receiver.

I'm trying to think about it. Yeah, I could even use it. I could. 88. I could even do.

I think he's too small for an 88.

Might be too small.

But again, I have no. No idea what size he actually is. Because the number 22, I assume if you're wearing 22, that your prototypical, like, tailback size.

Yeah.

That you're 511 to 27.

What's the fattest number? Because I was thinking about it, I think it's. The fat guy on the ravens was wearing 58. Those numbers compressed on a jersey. Like when it scrunches up on a fat belly. Those look very fat.

Well, it matters.

78.

78. It matters.

What position is kind of a skinny number. Like five and eight are both fat.

Like, there was a kicker that was wearing 44 the other day.

Yeah.

And that, to me, I was like, that kicker's fat. But no, he in good shape. Just 44. That's a full back number.

Yeah.

90 is usually a pretty fat guy.

That's. Yeah, you need, you need. You need a eight or a zero, because, like, the circles, when they get scrunched up, just look, they go wide.

Yeah.

And it's just. They kind of fold into each other.

99 is not fat. 98, I think, more times than often.

No, 99 is one of the fastest.

Yeah, he's fast and he's strong. 90 jacked up.

I think 90. Eight's a strong number.

Okay. 96 is a fat guy.

96 is a fact.

Big time fact. 95, also a fat guy, 92.

Yep.

That guy. Fat guy.

Yeah. What were we talking about?

Rashid.

Oh, awesome name.

Awesome name.

Actually, just bumped out Malik Willis for coolest name.

Yeah. But no, Malik is the guy that has the. Such a better sounding name than he is a football player.

Correct. Yeah, that's true. He is the answer to that. Yeah. The Saints. I don't know. I'm so mad at myself, too, because I said to myself, also, offseason, like, saints might not be as bad as we think. And then I'm like, yeah, you know what? Let me take the Panthers.

Derek Carr won me over. He was a cool guy.

Yes.

He's a very cool guy to talk to.

He was. He was a lot cooler than I was expecting, and he was in on the joke. So, yeah, we're. I think we're DC guys.

I like Derek.

I like saying DC. Yeah.

Now we don't know if the Panther or if the. The Saints are good or if they just had the acute case of playing against the Panthers.

Yeah. Let's play a game called when will the Panthers get their first win?

Okay.

All right, here we go. Week two chargers.

Nope.

No chance that's Harbaugh is going to chew them up and spit them out.

Did you see Bryce young at one point, he was down on himself and he went to the sidelines and Dave Canales went over to him and gave him the. Like, got down on a knee like he was his dad. He's like, come on, slugger.

Yeah.

Like, gave him that nice, nice little pep talk, and Bryce just wanted no part of it.

None. Week three at the Raiders. Maybe that's a maybe.

That's. Maybe.

That's a maybe. Week four at home against the Bengals. That'll be when the Bengals have figured it all out. Yeah.

No, that's not.

Week five at the Bears. If Kayl Williams throws for over 100 yards, I'd say no chance. If he goes under 100 yards, they might have a chance.

Now, I don't want it to happen, but for the podcast, it would. Yeah, that would be pretty good.

We do have their second round pick. Week six, Falcons at home. That could be. Yeah.

They beat the Falcons last year in the division.

Yeah.

Weird stuff happens in the division.

Week seven at commanders.

No.

Right. Young might go off.

No, I don't think so.

Okay. Easy schedule. Yeah. They did well. They were last place team. They were the worst team in the league. That's another thing we're gonna have to teach you about. Yeah. How they make the schedules, because you just never played. You just never played different you never thought about it? Hey, it's like the schedule is the schedule you get. Matt, I know you get mashed up with a division in conference, you play the fourth, 4th place teams. Play fourth place teams.

If you're Hank, you probably thought that the Patriots were just like you. It was like college where you set your own schedule and the Patriots like, yeah, we'll beat anybody. Doesn't matter. That's why you guys always played the best teams.

If you can see a trend, they're going to be playing the fourth place team from last year in every single conference. So yeah, they're playing at the Broncos, Saints at the Giants, or at home against the Giants. They can have a winning record. Yeah, yeah, they could win some games. Cardinals, they could win.

Yeah, I see. I see a couple potential win.

Yeah, they're going to win a couple games. Okay. Pft. Why don't you hit us with a couple ads and we'll get to the afternoon games. Shout out to Saints. They're back.

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Okay. Afternoon games. Pft bucks 37, commanders 20. The floor is yours. Oh, and one.

Our defense stinks.

Yeah.

And I don't think it's going to get better. I think we're, we're. We're a bad football team. And I don't think I was ready for how bad the defense was going to be, but I was. Listen, I was so nervous going to this game, I almost couldn't watch. I felt like I was Jaden Daniel's dad and the sidelines.

Some are saying you might be a helicopter parent.

Maybe. Yeah, I'll take that. Week one, I was nervous.

I let the kid fall every now and then.

I know I don't want him to fall. I was scared. I was scared to watch him. I almost like I wanted the game to be played at noon. I wanted to get out of the way as soon as possible. And then as the games went by, I was just dreading. I was like, what if something bad happens? I was thinking all the worst thoughts. Jaden looked pretty good, though. I'm happy with how things went. I do need some help, though, because now I've found myself squarely in the crosshairs of being targeted by people saying, nice second overall pick on a running back. You know, I've been there. I'm going into the Lamar situation, so I'm hoping that you have some advice for me for how to deal with those people. One thing that I tried to do was just put out the blind resume for all the rookie quarterbacks making their starts today, and Jaden had a good statistical day. He was not the problem. I would have liked to see that one pass to McLaurin that was deep. I want to see that connect. Outside of that, the rest of the team, we're just not a good football team.

We're not good. We're not really good at anything.

Jaden needs to figure out a way to keep his helmet on, though. Yeah, that part is scary to me. He's helmet just pops off every 2 seconds.

Yeah. He doesn't really tie it. Buckling in tight and it was coming off even in pregames. And then every time he would get touched, it would fly off, which resulted in him getting two penalties that were called because it looked like he got decapitated. Yeah, because his helmet rolls across the field. Also before every play, he puts his mouthpiece in, but he puts it in on the side of his mouth and then he chews on it. And we haven't ever said anything bad about any player that just chews on their mouthpiece all game, correct. Right?

Yeah.

Okay, good. Just want to make sure.

I don't think you have to worry about the running stuff, because he's clearly a very good. Like he is. Yeah. He's good passer. He knows when you, when you watch him throw the ball, it, like, it's fluid. It makes sense. It's not like a Justin Fields. Even Lamar, who has won two MVP's, like, people calling him Lamar great. Two MVP's.

I love that.

Awesome.

Oh, you're saying we have a good running back. That's great. It's been a long time since we had a good running back.

Yeah. You have thunder and lightning.

Thunder and lightning all in one.

Yeah. And.

And he leads the league in smiles.

No, I.

That's what I like the most. The guy, the kids having fun out there.

I thought he looked fine for his first start. Like, I didn't think he looked bad. He didn't look great, but he didn't like, it's his first start.

I thought he looked pretty good overall. Running with a win. When he takes off and runs, nobody's catching him. Yeah, he's very fast. I like that. Some of the passing was good. Some of the passing helmets got us are good helmet. He needs more helmet discipline, and then the rest of the team just stinks.

Yeah.

The defense was. Maybe Baker was just playing really well.

Baker was incredible, but there were a.

Lot of open guys.

Baker was incredible. It did feel like every time Baker threw the ball, it was going somewhere for 15 yards. It was going to the right place for 15 yards.

Every single, every single, every time. 15 yards. I think we forced one punt, and every other drive ended in points.

Yeah. Four touchdowns. Baker and he also, that pass, that touchdown pass to Mike Evans was incredible.

Yeah.

Where Mike. It was more. Mike Evans was incredible. He just big bodied him.

I think this might be the last straw for Manuel Forbes, though.

Oh, that's good.

I think it might be it. I think we're saying, okay, we'll give you one more chance. And he got benched a couple times today. At some point, you just have to say, he can't play.

There was a moment where he had a tackle, and you're like, oh, Emmanuel Forbes had a tackle, and it was a play wherever it was in the middle of the field. It's like you want your cornerback covering the guy, not tackling.

But that's progress. Manual forbes. And then I watched the replay, I was like, oh, well, he, he assisted on attack.

Right. And he also should have been covering.

Also should have been covering.

Yeah.

Everything was bad on the defense. There were glimpses where it looked kind of cool on offense, but overall, I'm okay with it. We're not gonna be a good team this year. And you might, I'm not thinking soupy.

And you might beat the, might beat the Giants next.

That's really the Super bowl for me.

Yeah.

If we can go two and, oh, against the giants and beat the Panthers.

Yeah.

That's a perfect season, baby.

Yeah. I think you're, I think you're gonna beat the Giants. I think, I mean, jaden daniels is significantly better than Daniel Jones.

Yeah. Yeah, he is.

That's not even close.

Max, as a division rival, what did you think about jaden?

I thought I, you, I was watching that game with you, and I was saying good things about jaden. Daniel, he's my fantasy quarterback. I was, I wanted him to do well and everything. You, all the positive things that I was saying, you're like, you, you thought that there was some other meaning behind it.

Yeah, I thought you were, I thought you were two tone to me.

I wasn't.

I thought there was a, there was subcontext to every comment you were making.

No, I think jaden daniels is good. I think the commander suck, but I think Jane daniels is good.

You have to realize I had my guard up during that game as the protective father that I felt like in the stands watching, actually, I felt like more like the mom where I was just, like, burying my head in my hands. I was like, I can't watch. Just tell me what happens. So, yes, I was on high alert for that game with a rookie quarterback.

As I feel like, yeah, you got to be on high alert.

I'm on high alert. And so Max was giving compliments. I was like, max, shut the. You were like, he needs to tighten up his chin strap. I was like, you got to tighten up that mouth, dude.

Listen, you got to get on high alert when you have a rookie quarterback. If, if you, if Max, if you spent 1 second in my mentions for the entirety of the Bears game, they would ban Twitter. They'd be like, I, they'd be like, you can't. This is, this is hate speech everywhere. I said out loud, I was like, I think I might just deactivate. Can I keep my account? If I deactivate? You got to be on a high alert with a rookie quarterback.

Yeah, I am. I'm on very high alert. And you know what? Next week, it's a must win.

Yeah.

The Giants. You got. You got to take care of business. That's huge, because if we don't beat the Giants, that means that the Giants are better than us.

Yeah.

And that's not a world I want to live in this season.

What was the name of the sideline reporter who was swagged out? That was weird.

Laura Oakman.

Yeah. What was that?

She was rocking a bucket hat, and she was wearing a chain, and she looked like. When they dressed Kirk Cousins up after.

A game, like, is it because Oasis is back? Is that why she's wearing the bucket hat?

Is that for. Is that for Liam?

I don't know. They just. English people wear bucket hats.

I don't know. She looked like ll cool J. Yeah.

That was a weird look.

It was a strange look. I thought that she was doing it because we didn't have the sound on that game. We're Tom Brady. So we were watching that, and we're trying to figure out what was going on. I thought she was doing it because there's, like, a story that maybe Jaden Daniels has a picture I'm unaware of where he's dressed up like that.

She was the Steve Buscemi. Hey, what's up, kid? What's. How you doing, kids?

How do you, fellow kids?

How you doing, fellow kids? That's what she looked like.

Yeah, it was. It was a strange look, but that was. That was the least of my concerns.

Yeah.

We're just a bad team. And you know what? I'm glad that I came to the realization. Week one.

I think you're good enough to beat the Eagles, Lee, at least once and be a pain in the ass to Max.

I would love that.

Yeah, I do. I think that's gonna. I just.

I just want you to hate me. I want you to hate me, Max. Yeah. You want. You can't hate me.

No.

No. It's so painful that you'll never hate me.

No. By the way, I have breaking moves. Breaking news, breaking booze. Rebecca Romaine has tweeted at us saying, message to awls. Mister Jerry, OC is muttering. Should have picked up Baker instead of Dak. We have no clue what this means, but we are worried this time. It's just a picture of him sitting in a car. Are we worried about Jerry? Jerry's having big time fomo on basically any player that does well this week.

Yeah. And it doesn't even matter, because we're going to win our game. Shout out to Jerry O'Connell. And his drafting ability because the AI feature on Yahoo graded him as an a. Yeah, I think they projected we go like twelve and four this season.

Yeah.

So we did a good job and we're winning week one. But Jerry, he is, he's about that life right now. That's always. He's second guessing everything.

I did tell her and she's probably going to listen to this because she's in Awl now. But the only thing that will fix Jerry is four quarters of uninterrupted Monday night Football. Yeah, just let them that.

Let him watch. Rebecca, if you want to come watch the game with us and just have Jerry chill at home and he gets to tune in all on his own.

We'Ll do that like we've known you forever.

I'll do Jerry such a big favor by inviting you to Chicago to hang out with us for an evening.

Yeah, I'm in. Okay. Next up, Cowboys, 33, Brown 17. Dak got absolutely paid a couple hours before the season started. He got $240 million, 231 guaranteed, four year contract. So much for turning up the heat. Jerry Jones.

He did have a great quote, though. He said, I hope Dak is our quarterback for the rest of my life.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Four years.

Yeah. Well, he's. No then he said, and that's not just limited to the terms of this contract.

Oh, that's smart.

But it sounds like it certainly is.

Also, genius. Genius move by Jerry Jones. Because you could say, oh, my God, you're overpaid paying for Dak Prescott, but you waited a couple hours before you played a game against the worst quarterback contract of all time in Deshaun Watson. Because that really was like, think about it. Dak signed this four year, 240 million contract and Deshawn's contract was the entire talk online during that game because it is the worst contract ever.

It's impossible. Beat I. Maybe not even the worst NFL contract ever. Maybe not even the worst sports contract ever. Deshaun Watson might have the worst contract ever.

We got to look it up in Louisiana purchase. I feel like we got that for like a couple minutes.

We fleeced.

Yeah.

Yeah, we fleeced.

We got them.

Maybe white Star cruise lines.

Yeah.

To build the Titanic.

Yeah.

Pretty bad contract. And there's the Sean Watson, Deshaun Watson close second.

It's $230 million guaranteed. I actually think that Deshaun Watson is so bad at football now that he hates football, that he's just going to pretend to be injured because, like, what do I care?

Yes, you're exactly right. When he's playing he hates being out on the field.

Yeah.

Can't stand being out on the field. He looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. He doesn't want to talk to anybody. Doesn't want to talk to his teammates, doesn't want to talk to his coaches. He is looking for. He is looking forward to getting hit hard enough to make it convincing that he's hurt where he can't play.

He's going to have an elbow injury coming up. Yeah, the other.

The other shoulder.

Yeah. I. So I thought of this independent of. I guess someone tweeted this at memes and Max, but Deshaun Watson so bad at football now. I think you could say that he's a better person than football player. I think he's so bad at football. I would say he's a bad person.

I would say as good as he is at quarterback, even better human being.

Yeah. That's how bad he is at football now. Yeah. He's a better human than football player.

Yeah.

Cuz he's so bad at football.

That's a great spin zone.

Yeah, he's.

It's close.

It is close.

It's.

We so race to the bottom.

It's week to week. Mince he asked if, if he can even show his face in Cleveland after this. I was like, I think that's the only part of his body he is allowed to shift.

Correct. He's. I mean, it's, it's, it's nuts how bad he is. And he's just. It's. It's abysmal to watch.

He was.

He looks like a backup that should never be playing a game. Playing a game.

He was throwing the ball six yards out of bounds on almost every throw. Every time I watched him hurl the pass downfield and we had Tom Brady in the booth commentating on it. What do you think, Tom? How do you think if you were to give him like a letter grade Tom Brady did week one?

I can't say that I listened enough. I would say that his, his voice is going to take some getting used to.

It's a little whiny.

Yeah. But he'll get comfortable. Give it a b. Yeah. Here. Here's what I'll say. Needs a couple reps. Similar Tom Brady, similar to. If you're listening to this, please come on the show. We'd love to have you on the show. We can give you some tips. Similar to Dak Prescott playing against a game against Deshaun Watson. And immediately, his contract looks like a discount. Tom Brady. You need to just retweet every clip you can find of Nebraska, Colorado, on Saturday night, because that was tough for Colt McCoy.

Well, it was tough for Colt. It was tough for the refs, too.

Yeah, it was tough for the whole operation. The whole operation.

It was bad.

And I like Colt, and I hope he turns around. It wasn't his best. The first game is. There's jitters. You know what? Here's another spin zone for Tom Brady. You don't want to be Tony Romo that everyone sucks off in the first game, and then everyone's like, wait, this guy's actually annoying.

Then you.

Tom Brady wasn't annoying. He just has work to do.

He had a little bit of jitters. He also was a little bit nervous going into it the first couple times, the cameras on him, a couple missteps here and there, actually, I. I feel like it's when I'm watching Tom Brady and he's on tv announcing a football game, I feel like that's beneath him to do that.

Yeah.

I feel like Tom should be just, like, sitting in some high rise apartment somewhere with, like, absolutely no fabric anywhere in the room, just all marble and granite, and he's there watching a glamorous tv with a glass of red wine. Tom Brady doesn't need to be in Cleveland, Ohio.

No.

Talking to me about Deshawn stayed at.

A hotel in Cleveland.

Yeah, see, that's what I'm saying. Like, that kind of ruins Cleveland. It ruins the image of Tom Brady for me.

Yeah. He's on a beach.

He's too good to be telling me about crummy football.

Also, Tom Brady come on the show, because until you come on the show, we'll just say Greg Olson is better, because Greg Olson's a good friend of ours.

Yeah, well, he is better.

Yeah, but that's because Greg Olsen been doing it for a couple years, and he's a natural.

That's true. I don't. I don't think he was. Tom Brady is not a natural.

He will, though, work harder than anyone. Right, Hank? That commercial hyping up Tom Brady was weird. Oh, great. It was.

It was a little strange. I thought it was really strange.

Really? Really. Well done. There's a little weird for an announcer, that's all. Well, it's Tom Brady. I understand. And he will get better, because it is Tom Brady. You know what he does, you know, gonna just end up being somehow the best announcer, because he's just gonna work harder than.

What I didn't like about Tom today is that he was announcing the Deshaun Watson game, and he, this is not his fault, but that's a game where you want the announcers to be a little bit more mean. You know, you want the announcers to, like, call out when you see quarterback playing like dog shit and talk about the contract and be like, what is even going on? They miss Joe Flacco, Jamis Winston is waiting right there. You want to, you want an announcer that's not afraid to just, like, step in the mud a little bit. And for Tom's first game, he was definitely not going to do that.

Well, it probably was so, like, Tom Brady doesn't even understand how someone could do the things Sean Watson was doing.

Yeah, he can't analyze.

He can't. He doesn't. It doesn't make sense to him.

Well, he could analyze some of the stuff if you thought about some of the things Robert Kraft has been doing.

So you be. I didn't listen off. I was, I was taking notes. I was also flipping around two different games, so I didn't listen enough. B. I need. That's the only thing with the, like, I would like to get like a Sunday night or month. It won't happen because they have the afternoon game Sunday or Monday to really, that's when you can really see, like, what the reaction is, what this announcer is. Okay. They're made up.

So I listened to a lot of it. I think that people are not gonna be happy with Tom Brady.

Got it.

I think that they'll say Greg Olsen's better, but again, this is the first 1st rep time Thomas had, so.

And I'll get better. What do you think, Max? What do you say?

Johnny Fanta.

Oh, yes. Oh, I forgot. We got to play this video. So Johnny Fanta, our guy. Johnny Fanta. This is how bad the Browns are. This how bad Deshaun Watson is. Cleveland. The Cleveland Browns organization has officially ticked Johnny Fanta off.

Ticked tick.

He is ticked off. Pfemenous. He is ticked off. It's a tv that looks like it's in a.

That's Lake Erie.

Oh, yeah. It's like Erie. It's, this is, this is as mad as you can get. Johnny Fanta. And again, he was ticked off. I have it here. I have it up here. Okay. Do you want to watch it? No, just listen to it. Yeah, we can listen to it. You ready for this?

Yep. The only thing that's nice right now.

Is the sun that's shining. It shouldn't be. That was utterly embarrassing. Pathetic. Disgraceful. Shameful. You gave that guy under center $230 million fully guaranteed. $230 million fully guaranteed. He's not great. He's not good. He's not even average right now. I put him on par with Bryce Young or Daniel Jones. He can go stand in line with them, rip the band aid off before it's too late because the rest of that locker room knows it.

Deshaun Watson's done.

That first half against Dallas was an utter joke. I'm tired of hearing about rust. I'm tired of hearing excuses. I'm tired of hearing that the two time NFL coach, the year, it's all here. His fault, folks. He can't play. It ain't happening except reality. I'm ticked.

Oh, ticked. I'm tick sick.

And I. Did you watch the video?

No, but. Okay, so it sounds like he's almost.

Po because you didn't get to see it. This is what he looked like when he's doing it.

Yeah, that's a tick, man.

This full brown's gear.

He's ticked his big ticked in, folks.

I'm ticked.

Yeah. This is, this is not good for the Cleveland Browns.

No. They lost Johnny Fanta.

And if you're, if you're a brown fan, it's so depressing to watch that and to think about the money that you're paying them. And if Kevin Stefanski has an honest conversation with him, it was like, hey, would you just rather not play right and still get the money? Deshaun Watson would definitely say yes.

Yeah. 100%. Look at that face. Johnny Fanta.

He's, he's peeved.

Ticked. He's ticked off. He's right, though. Sean Watson is on par with those guys.

Go stand in line with him.

Go stand in line with the sad line. He is so bad. And, yeah, it was painful to watch. Painful, painful to watch, especially with Jamis.

Just on the sidelines ready to go.

He's ready. He also, Johnny Fanta brought up a good point in that video. No one, and I know there's been injuries and there's a year out and all that stuff, but no one has had the benefit of, oh, he's got rust more than Deshaun Watson.

Yeah.

Well, he's been rusty for four years.

He was rusty for being under investigation.

Yeah.

And then he was rusty from demanding a trade, manning a trade. Then he was rusty from an energy or injury.

Yeah.

And he was rusty from another injury.

Everyone's like, oh, he's only played a few games in the last four years. Well, that's his fault. And it doesn't matter. He stinks.

If you're Deshaun Watson. They just said, hey, if you don't play for the rest of the season, just hang out. We won't even activate you on set. What do you do? Yeah, what would you do if you're Deshawn? Would you just probably move out of the country?

Yeah. Isn't he tight with Saudi Arabia? Remember there was a, that picture of him hanging out with the sheiks?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Go overseas.

He's already there. Look at that. Just play the end again. I'm ticked. They can actually see it. He's, I mean, he's the best. Johnny Fanta play. It ain't happening except reality. I'm ticked. It's seriously, like, if I was, if I was Jimmy Haslam's assistant, I would, I would hardly run into the suite and just be like, sir, we've lost Johnny Fanta.

Yeah.

And that would, that would be the moment where you have to change everything.

This is it. And it, man, before the game, you had Miles Garrett going to the Muni lot and hanging out with those people there, getting amped up. I know you wanted it to be so great. And then the Cowboys, it makes it so much worse that it was a Cowboys and it was the national game. Now you're embarrassed, too.

Yeah.

If you're a Cowboys fan, you're very, very happy with how today went.

Yeah. I mean, the Cowboys look good. I think the Cowboys are also one of those teams that, like, they were, people have been so, I don't know, like, oh, every year is the same. They're really good in the regular season. They don't do anything in the playoffs that they might have gotten a little underrated going into this season. They were two and a half point dogs in this game.

Yeah.

That's a crazy line that, looking back.

Yes. That's weird.

We're going to look back at the end of the season when the Cowboys have 1112 wins and the end, the Browns have a $230 million quarterback that they can't even play and be like, what was that line?

Also, the offensive line did not look as good in Cleveland.

No.

Maybe that's a, that's a Callahan they have.

Yeah. And they've been moving parts around and everything. Yeah. Okay, last two. Chargers, Raiders Chargers 22, raiders ten. This is just Harbaugh. This is Harbaugh through and through. I don't know. Can we, can you pull up the, the Harbaugh got a game ball, pulled my quote sheet of it because it's just hard. He, that team. This is what we knew when we went to LA and we saw like him in his element, they are going to be, don't bet against him. That's what he said to us. He's like, don't. I don't know if you had bet on us, but wouldn't bet against us. Play the sound for this. This is hard about getting a game ball from the owner after the game. He's just freaking out, screaming, so happy. He's got him juiced up. They were fighting in the end zone.

Yeah. He cares so much about that ball, too. He's so. I guarantee you he takes very good care of every game ball that he gets.

Yeah.

All means something to him. The fight in the end zone, he was. That's when you knew that Harbaugh was in his element.

He's in. This team is not that talented, but he's going to get them to believe that they can win any game and they will win a couple games because of that. And it was just great to see him back out there. The one thing I would say about the Chargers, they got to get ironed out. Harbaugh went up to Herbert before the game to do his patented. He hits his quarterback on the top of the pads, on the side of the pads and on the back. Herbert thought he was going in for a hug and he went to hug them. Harvest. They were just Harbaughs.

Harbaugh is not a hugger.

Yeah, he's not a hugger.

We also way hugs is by trying to wrestle you.

Yeah, right. Wrestling to the ground.

It's really competitive hugging.

We also had an all time Harbaugh before the game, he announced the Chargers changed the number of six foot, 4296 pounds of defensive tackle Scott Matlock this past week from number 99 to number 44 and now list them as their starting fullback. And Matlock is expected to play both ways in Sunday's regular season opener versus Raiders. And Harbaugh said that Matlock is in such good condition, he could play a doubleheader if needed.

I love that he gave. There was a third way to play football, he would be on that team, too. Like a special team that was not offense or defense. We put him out there, too.

Even if he doesn't use them there. That's just the heart. Like, that's just a vibes thing. Like we made our defensive, our nose tackle, our fullback.

Well, he took the most intimidating looking guy.

Yeah.

And he just said, we're gonna have this man on our football field as often as possible.

Right.

Because he looks like a character from Game of Thrones.

Yeah, it's so I. Yeah, I'm buying on the, on the Chargers just because of Harbaugh. This is why I wanted him for the Bears.

It's tough to be Jim Harbaugh on 3000 days rest from the NFL.

Yeah.

And he's five and O in season openers as a head coach in the NFL.

So Colts need to get them.

Yep.

Colts should actually offer him like a billion dollars just for week one. Should we? Now we like Antonio Pierce. He also is a friend. But should we talk real quick about the punt?

Yeah, the punt is an interesting punt. He wanted to pin him deep. Big cat.

Yeah. So in the fourth quarter, it was a 16 to ten game and the Raiders had fourth and one at the Chargers 43.

Yep.

And they punted.

And I read that that was the first punt in your opponent's territory when you're trailing by that much in the fourth quarter since. I think it was Rex Ryan, stat.

Hole sent it to me. I'm going to try to find it or.

Excuse me. I think it was. Yeah, it was Rex Ryan back when he was coaching, I think the Bills.

Yeah, it was. It was very bad. It was very bad. Knows, it was the browns at the Colts at the 40 1 yd line. Week 720. Twelve. They would also lose that game. Only team on record to punt wild down one score. Fourth and one. Less than eight minutes left.

It was a very bad punt.

It was a very bad pun.

And his logic was, we want to pin him deep and then our defense will make a stop. But the defense didn't make a stop.

He went on a 92 yard drive. Touchdown and win the game.

Yeah.

So not great start for the Raiders, but Harbaugh, Harbaugh. Harbaugh's back in the NFL and it's good for everybody. It really, really is. We also had, speaking of stat. Holy. He did send me a great stat. So Alexander Madison scored a touchdown on his first reception for the Raiders. And Josh Jacobs had 197 receptions as a Raider and never scored a touchdown receiving. Pretty crazy. Yeah, you just saw that. And the new guy shows up. First catch. Touchdown. Yeah.

Lad. McConkie also had a touchdown today where he did the double Olay at the goal line.

Yeah.

And he looks like he, well, the Chargers are, how should we say this, limited in terms of what they can do at wide receiver. But lad seems like he might be a good hardball guy.

Yes. Oh, big time. They're going to feed him. Okay. And then we also had a shitload of fights after the game. Did you guys see some of those fights.

Yeah, the fights were good.

Yeah, they were. They were good fights. In terms of raiders, Chargers. I mean, those two teams, they, they know when they're gonna submit a fight video. It has to be high quality.

Yeah.

Has to have at least one knockout. Has to have a moment where there's all ages and sexes fighting. Like, you have to. You can't just have a routine to drunk guys fighting.

It is weird to see a Chargers team and a Chargers fan base wearing, you know, their nice docile color blue uniforms, engaging in, like, physical combat. Yeah, it's more of a chill vibe, but it, with Harbaugh, he's even making the fan base more physical.

And there's. Yeah, I mean, the San Diego, those days, like, they, they had to fight Raiders fans.

The human.

What happened?

Human body craves contact.

Yeah.

If you're a fan.

All right, last game from the afternoon, Seattle 26, Denver 20. What a weird start to the game. The Broncos got two safeties on the Seahawks. They were up nine to eight at one point or. No, they were up. Yeah, yeah, I think. I think they were up nine to eight. No, they were down nine to eight.

Maybe there might have been. Yeah, because there was there a ten nine score at some point. Everybody was like, oh, this is a normal score.

There was an eight three, then a nine to eight. Then the Seahawks, when they scored a touchdown, they did. They didn't get their two points. So it stayed nine to eight for a little bit. Then I think it was 13. It was twelve nine or something. It was a crazy game.

Yeah, the first half was nuts. I think the record for safeties in an NFL game is three.

It's three.

And so we had two in the first half. Like they were going to get a third safety. The Broncos deep again, and they were running plays out their end zone again, barely got out. I was hoping for a third safety at that point. And I will say once again, the safety in the NFL should be worth more than two points.

Yes.

Two points is not a big enough reward for how hard it is to get a safety. It should be four points, five points, one of those two. Or maybe the other team just gets the ball on the 1 yd line if there's a safety.

Yeah, I. So the score was at one point, ten to nine. There was one touchdown scored and two safeties, and the rest was field goals. And the team with ten didn't have the touchdown. I don't think. No, they didn't.

Yeah, that's what was weird. It was like a ten nine score, which did it doesn't look weird on the scoreboard, and you break it down and you're like, what the fuck happened here, huh? This is crazy football. Speaking of crazy football, bone x. Huh? Bone. I don't say this lightly. Feel free to disagree, big cat.

Okay.

Bo Nicks might be the heir apparent to Jamis.

Yeah, he is a little bit loose with it.

Like, he's. He's one of the funnier on field quarterbacks because everything that he does, he does with supreme confidence.

Oh, yeah. Always. And Bo Nick.

And when he throws interception, he throws the fuck out of the interception.

If you have made plays, like, if you followed Bo Nicks in his college career, for anyone who's listening, who's just an NFL fan, the way Bo Nicks became Bo Nicks is not what we saw last year at Oregon. It was the games he played at Auburn, where it would be like 1030 at night and Bo Nix would just be making insane throws that had no. No quarterback should throw, and they would work. And so he still got that in him. And, yeah, you're right. You. He might be the heir apparent.

We'll see. I'm just putting the tickler out there. We can remind ourselves this a little bit, see how it shakes out of. Yeah. When he makes a great play, it's electric. And when he throws interception, it's like there's nobody within 20 yards of the linebacker. He just threw the interception to. He throws across his body off platform. It's the bowler coaster. Yeah, he is. When he's at his best, he's very, very good. And he's at his worst, he's very, very bad. And they asked sean payton about it after the game, and he said that everyone else around bo nicks needs to play better.

Oh, so we got some favorite sons.

We got some favorite sons. Big cat.

Shawn sanders talking about his son, the starting quarterback.

Big cat, who. Who would be responsible for making everyone on the team play better. Would there be somebody that has that job title?

Yeah, that would be the head coach.

I think that might be the head coach.

I should have gone with deon payton there. Sean sanders, people like, what are you talking about?

Yeah, deon payton. Pretty good.

Yeah, you're right. Pft. I would say that the head coach.

Yeah, the head coach would probably do that. Sean payton, I think he's probably going. He's going to do the opposite of what he did with russell wilson last year.

Yeah.

He's throwing everybody else under the bus.

Yeah, well, you, not everyone else saw what was in bo nick's backpack.

Yeah, that's true.

Listen, as someone who watched a bad quarterback performance today, I'm still, I'm grading all the rookie quarterbacks, especially on the road. Like, that was a tough place to play.

You know what? He's a gunslinger.

Yeah.

That's what bone x is for. Sure.

Yeah. But, yeah, the. I love the Sea Seahawks. That's a great throwback.

Awesome throwback.

Those are great throwbacks. Yep.

That should be their giants. That should be their everyday uniform.

Agreed.

I love it.

Agreed. Okay, we should talk about Rams Lions real quick. That was a thrilling game. The Lions are one and o win in overtime. I have to look it up because this is just off the top of my head. I'm going to guess Cooper cup had probably like 15 catches. He had 14. He was dominating. That was that one drive where he just kept on feeding him. I think the Rams are going to be just fine. The Lions are very good, and if they don't, you know, that one interception Goff had, they could have won that in regulation. But I. Those are two very good teams. In my mind, I'm going to say moral victory for the Rams, except for the puka injury. Hopefully he's okay.

Yeah. So we don't know how long he's going to be out for, but if you're a Rams fan, you can look at this game, be like, okay, we're still going to. Good.

Yeah.

Maybe. Maybe. Based on what we saw in the playoffs last year, maybe slightly better than last year.

Yeah. I mean, Cooper cup, that was. It was an insane 14 catches, 110 yards. And then if you're the Lions fan, your David Montgomery is an absolute monster. He took over that entire overtime. And then Jameson Williams, maybe his arrival, like, I know he's had big. I know he's had some flashes, but this felt like his arrival with 121 yards. Yeah.

And he caught a nice long pass, too. Yeah. He's so fast when he gets going in the open field shield.

Yeah.

I think addition by subtraction, by missing Josh Reynolds.

Yeah, I'd agree. I'd agree. All right, so we should do a little Monday night preview. Before we do who's back? Let me do robot question. Rho back.com promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, robec. Promo code take memes robot question. Yes. Are you ready to join the one and o crew? I'm very excited to watch the New York jets play football on Monday night. Okay. How are you feeling about the game? Do you think that they're going to win the game. I am very nervous. I just want to watch Aaron Rodgers play a full game. In terms of winning. I'm not. I'm not guaranteeing anything.

You're not guaranteeing anything. Besides.

Besides, they're gonna. They're gonna play extremely hard.

Extremely hard.

Extremely hard. And if Rogers gets hurt, you're gonna do a suicide bombing. That's facts. Five snaps and a season ending injury? Yes. So if it happens in six, you're not. No, I'll probably just quit.

What about four?

Or he has to. Four? Yeah. Anything. Anything under five. Under five. Remember that awkward question he asked?

Yeah.

I mean, it was bad. All right, memes, you got to give us a. So, draftkings. Doing a NFL no sweat touchdown bet for all customers. Opt in, get your no sweat token, and place an NFL touchdown bet. If your touchdown bet doesn't hit, you'll get it back as a bonus bet. So download draftkings for stroke app use code take. That's code take to get you a no sweat token tonight. Give us a first touchdown score. Pft. You and I have to find a combined touchdown score. So like a McCaffrey and Debo to have two touchdowns. First touchdown. Yeah.

Come on down.

Come on. I'll go. Brie saw Bruce hall. He just breaks one, goes all the way. Okay.

It's gonna be my pick.

We could do breeze hall and Christian McCaffrey plus 140.

I kind of like that.

And it's also. The nice thing about that is if Bruce hall scores two touchdowns, Christian McCaffrey scores zero. We still win.

We still win that one. Yeah.

Yeah. So that might be the pick.

I like that one a lot.

Yeah. You gotta do running back, son. Yeah.

What about kittle?

Kittle could get kiddo. For the people resolving George Kittle plus 280. I love that.

For the people.

For the people.

I like kiddle. Make it happen.

It'll make it happen. Gambling problem. Call 1800 Gambler in New York. Call 8778. Open wire text hope and why 467369. In Connecticut, help is available. For problem gambling. Call 8887-8977 or visit CCPG. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill casino and resort in Kansas. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario often each week to get one. No sweat. For each game day. No sweat. Bonus bet issued based on amounts of losing. Qualifying bet Max reward varies. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms or responsible gaming resources, see Dkng Co. Ft ball. I'm gonna bet the jets, too. I'm extremely nervous. I started getting nervous around her at around 04:00 today. Calm down a little bit. But now I'm full backed. I'm nervous, but I'm very excited to watch him play. How did Mister Pear do this weekend? I believe. What was the Rams line? It was. He would cover if he picked the lions. I think he picked the Rams and then he picked the eagles. He's one and two. Is he gonna pick. Are you gonna release a play for Monday night football?

Yep.

Okay. And no funny business. No funny business. No funny business. Because, you know, this, this. This turtle is your turtle. Yeah. Okay. No fun. No funny. But no, I promise. No funny business. No funny business, I promise. Sounds like there's gonna be funny. I promise, no funny.

If he picks the 49 ers, you're gonna air that?

Yep. Okay. Sounds like funny business.

But Mister Pearl loves you, so you can't stand on the side of the jets and have them come to you.

That's true.

Yeah.

No funny business. I'll do.

Sure does.

All right. Should we wrap up with who's back in the week? Hank, are you okay? Yeah. You sure? Yeah.

Hank, did you like watching the game today?

Well, it was only the small tv, so it's kind of hard to see. We had a. We had the Patriots game on. On a quad box, so I could barely watch. Yeah, that was tough when I had to break to you because it was. There's seven tvs, eight games, so that's where we had it.

Memes just keeps cutting the hank during this.

In the middle of this. He's out to get you. Hollywood memes. That's fucked. Hollywood memes. Yeah. I thought you'd be a little more excited to be one and know. I mean, I guess this is just the difference. I was. I'm so excited to be one and o I was. Today was awesome. Yeah.

I don't think. I think Hank cares about just being a winner.

Yeah.

You are a winner for this day.

I said I'm infinitely more excited for the rest of season.

Wait, what's infinity times zero? Oh, yeah, I think that's still zero.

Was it a one? Yeah.

Okay, so you are infinity, infinity excited.

Nice.

You couldn't possibly be more excited. This is what you look like. It's not as fucking.

Here it is. Hot as fucking here it is almost midnight. I agree with all those statements. And you did you know Hank almost got a home one yesterday?

How close?

Six inches.

Oh, damn.

Good par. Call that two penises.

Was it. Was it on camera? No, that would have been tough.

Wait a minute, you paranore?

No, I mean, it's a joke. It's golf joke.

Sorry if you wouldn't understand. Guy. Not a golf guy. Yeah, I don't give a shit about the camera thing. Like, I'm not gonna film myself hitting up every time I hit par three.

But if you had come in here and you beat your chest and you were like, I got a hole in one today and there was no video of it, that would have been tough.

What is. I actually think, weirdly, I would believe it more if there was no video of it. Yeah. Like, I don't. Like, I. That's one of those things. People can say whatever they want to say. I mean, yes, it happened even with Jake's on camera. People said it. Well, that was fake, right? Like people would say that. I wouldn't care. Like I would know. You know, I think getting it, I think almost keeping it to yourself. Not keeping it yourself. Yeah, I would tell you. Yeah, but that would have been sick if you got it.

Yeah, that would rock.

First shot would be first shot. I don't know, maybe it was a breakfast ball. No, that's the worst, right? That would be a night like that would be cuz that I take so many shots off tee boxes. Like doubt. I think I would. I think someday in my life I might get a hole in one, but it will 100% be a second shot.

Like if you hit your first shot into the water.

Yeah.

And instead go into the drop zone, you just hit from the tee on the.

Correct.

When it goes in. That's how I be. I'd be pissed off.

Yeah, that's how it's gonna happen for me or by yourself. I mean, you guys, by yourself will be traumatic. Yeah. I would never cough by myself. So that's not a problem.

Yeah, you have a problem if you're drinking alone or golfing alone.

Mm hmm. Problem.

Or if you're. Now, if you're drinking while golfing alone, that's cool.

Two negatives make it possible.

Yeah, that's an awesome time.

All right, here's our last ad. Before we do who's back of the week. Yeah, before great. Talk football with the boy.

It is. Before we get to whom's back of the week, it's brought to you by our great friends over at Coors Light. The mountains are below. We got some Coors lights right here on the desk. They look crispy. Some crispy boys adorning the part of my take studio right now. And if you were watching football this weekend, I hope you were drinking Coors light. The mountains turn blue when the beer is cold, and on college football Saturdays, it's never short on intrigue, especially when there's some iconic rivalry games going on out there. But you can add to the excitement on Saturdays with Coors Light, they teamed up with draftkings for the free to play college football pick and pool, where you pick winners for a chance to win big. When rivalries heat up, it's time to choose chill. Then reach for an ice cold Coors light when you're looking to keep it chill. There's only one beer to choose, that's Coors light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. Coors light is mountain cold. Refreshment Coors lights cold lagered, cold filtered, cold packaged Coors light is the absolute best.

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Okay, who's back the week? Hank, who's back? The week is Kendrick Lamar. Yeah, he was announced to be doing the Super bowl halftime show. I mean, that's what is Drake's reaction when he sees this news. He can't be happy. It is weird. I think the next two Super Bowls are in LA. Or the next Super bowl after this. New Orleans.

And then is it.

I know this one's New Orleans, but I think. I believe the next.

They're going back to LA.

Yeah, I believe.

I don't think Miami. Santa Clara feels like it's been a while since we had Miami.

Your fake news, California. Your fake news. Well, California.

Kendrick's decidedly.

That's norcal. I don't know if you know, there's a difference between norcal and SoCal either way. It's going to. So far. They should have had it be Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne halftime show in New Orleans would have been.

I mean, there's a lot of credible. Yeah, a lot of musicians from Louisiana and, yeah, we'll pick a guy from LA to do it.

Why didn't they do? And then they're going to be in California next year. Yeah, that's from California. So. But there's rumors. I mean, this is just like Internet, Internet, Internet. Debate. But there's rumors because Jay Z, like, he's the one that, I guess, picks the halftime shows now, the past few.

That's his job.

Wait, what? Yeah, he's on the board. Oh, I remember that. There was something with, like, him and Goodell. Yeah. And if he illuminati. Shit. If he had gotten Lil Wayne, Lil Wayne probably would have brought out Nicki Minaj and Drake. And Jay Z doesn't like Drake, so.

He basically did the opposite.

But who's going to do the next one?

Also Kendrick Lamar.

Yeah.

They're just going to make it so that Drake can never watch a Super bowl again.

What if Drake. Would there be any now? What? What if Drake was like, hey, Kendrick, you beat me. Can I come out for the Super bowl half? Never do that. Okay. I just. Boy can drink.

But he knows. Drake knows.

He. Can I come out for this song? When you call me a pedophile. Yeah, yeah. Just like, here, just do it one last time in my face. He's not gonna be crazy.

Hendrickson. He's not gonna be able to say certified pedophile during the Super bowl, right?

No, he's gonna go certified and then let everyone else.

Everyone. There's gonna be 70,000 people saying pedophile.

Correct.

Yeah. It's gonna be tough for Drake.

Yeah, very tough for Drake. That's a brutal. And, like, he can't go to the Super bowl. No. I don't know if he goes usually, but one of his many teams probably ingested it.

Well, I saw. I saw a picture of him wearing a Niners jacket. I don't know if he's a Niners fan. He loves everything.

Get a new song that came out this weekend. That was good. All right. Okay.

Try strike a corn is probably a niner.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Kudu's backing. Thanks. I didn't know that part about Jay Z. Yeah.

Is he. I don't know what his job is with the NFL, but I do know that he's, like, in charge of a lot of, like, cultural stuff for Roger Goodell. But picking the Super bowl halftime show seems like the easiest job ever.

What's been all. It's been rappers all three years, so. Wait, so Roger Goodell essentially, like, took the. Like, but I have a black friend. It, like, made a job out of it.

Yeah, yeah. No, no, because, big cat, you're not telling the full story after.

It was, like, after left shark, they're like, we need.

No, what it was. What happened was Roger, that was like, a lot of the players in the NFL are african american. They think that I'm doing a shitty job. I'm going to hire Jay Z, so they can't be mad at me anymore.

Got it.

That's. That's pretty much what he did.

Got it. Jerry Jones taking a knee.

Yeah. Jay Z doesn't care about black white. Jay Z cares about green. Oh, it's true.

That was deep.

It's deep.

That was deepen. Okay.

Pft, my, who's back? The week is Texas. We'll talk about it on Wednesday for college football. But Texas is back.

Yeah.

Big time back. Texas is legit.

Michigan might be ass hook them.

I think Texas is.

No, no. Texas. Very good.

Very, very.

But they both things can be true. Yeah.

Very, very good. I think their defense is awesome. I think that their running game is sick. Quinn, you is throwing the ball all over the place like nobody, nobody is talking about arch Manning playing, which is. It's crazy. If you were to think about that a couple of years ago, committed to Texas. But, Quinn, yours is so good that they're making people forget about Arch.

Yeah.

Which is pretty incredible. I still, like I told you the Longhorns were my title pick at the start of the season. I love the Longhorns right now. The game against Georgia's, my pants are already tight for that one.

I'm rooting for you to have Texas. Cause I do think you've picked Texas, like four years.

Yeah, I have. I picked Texas a lot. Well, last year. Year. And I was close. Not the year before, but last year I was.

Yeah, you were very close.

I was very close last year. I feel like I'm going to be closer this year. This year. I feel like whoever wins that Georgia Texas game, that's going to be the winner.

Yeah.

They're going to win the whole thing.

Yeah. I mean, we will talk Wednesday. But Niu, that was my. Who's back? I mean, we. That was Marcus Freeman. Yikes.

Yeah. I want to see what that's like on the Peacock show.

Yeah. Niu shout out, Niu Thomas Hammerhead. Awesome. That. That speech after was like, why? We watched college football. Him crying and being like, this is a family. And, you know, all these guys that get passed over. It was so awesome.

Now, is there any podcast, any sports podcast out there that said Notre Dame guaranteed to go undefeated now after they won week one?

Yeah, they should have let us know.

If you know of a podcast that, that said that. Because I'll kick their ass.

They should have. Yeah. Why do teams. Because it always comes out. When do teams pay other teams? Because they don't lose them usually.

So ni, you got paid like 1.2 million because they come get a free, they negotiate.

Yeah, they get a free win.

So what happens? They pay these teams money because they want to put people in the stands, they want to win a game, and they want to be on national television playing in a game against a team that they will beat.

And the coaches want to get to seven, eight wins. And to get to seven, eight wins, you can throw in two wins that you can just basically check off and be like, all right, now I only got to win six games, and then they lose. But why wouldn't the teams want to play those games anyway? Like, you get a chance to beat a ranked opponent or whatever the shit.

Kicks, you'd rather play a worse opponent and win.

Yeah, like Bowling Green, who actually played really well against Penn State last year. They played against Michigan. They got like a million injuries and they derailed their entire season. So it's probably not fun playing those games, except you have the NIU. So Marcus Freeman's got a little bit of an issue because this is now. So we said last week, Marcus Freeman won the big game against Texas A and M, which Brian Kelly couldn't do. The one thing Brian Kelly did do was not lose the little games. And Marcus Freeman loses the little game. So he's lost to Marshall as double digit digit home favorite. Stanford is a double digit home favorite. And now Niu, our guy Chris Felica, had a stat. Since the start of the 2022 season, there have been 28 losses by a home favorite of at least 16 points in college football. Notre Dame has three of them.

That's not good.

I I honestly, their fans got like, it's not, it's the, they have a double whammy of like, Notre Dame is such a cool stadium and like a hallowed place that teams get so juiced up to play there and then some, like, a lot of their fans are so old, they just don't get loud enough. That sleepy spot and it feels like every year that 230 kickoff like game they should win. But shout out, you dogs, if you're.

So dogs, if you're an NIU professor, give all the students a day off class on Monday. Yeah, it should be a holiday.

It should the, I don't understand how a Notre Dame, a Michigan, like, I understand how Wisconsin can get not a great quarterback from the transfer portal. Hank, shout out, you. I don't understand how Notre Dame, Michigan.

Every quarterback should want to play like.

I don't get it. Riley Leonard seems like a nice guy. He's not a very good quarterback. Yes.

It's a tough spot for the Irish. What's going to happen if they did.

They did lose to a ranked opponent. Northern Illinois did get ranked 20.

If, if this was their only loss this season, where does that leave Notre Dame?

I think they, I think they'll get in, which is our good friend, college football expert Tom Frenelli pointed out that that's why he doesn't like the twelve team playoff, which is. I love the twelve team playoff because I just like having more teams involved. But it's a fair point on it that Notre Dame could run the table and definitely still be in because they'll, they'll put Notre Dame in if they're eleven and one.

That would rock, though. If Notre Dame somehow got into the college football playoff off one the whole thing. And then NIU could just declare themselves national champions.

Yeah. Yeah. Although they'll probably lose a Mac game on like a Tuesday night. Yeah.

But still.

Crazy wind. Or it would be so awesome if NiU wasn't.

If, if a Mac team was in the playoffs.

Yeah, they can.

I know they can.

Yeah. Be great. But yeah, that's if Notre Dame wins out. I mean, look, they are only 18th now, so if they. You have to think that if they keep winning.

Yeah, I'm looking. Who's ahead of them right now.

Like those teams all hard schedules and all these teams play other.

Yeah.

So, yeah, no dream. I mean, now, now you look at their schedule a little differently because like. Oh, shit. They might not be good, but yeah, we'll do full college football, talk about everything on Wednesday. Any who's back from the booth. Anything we missed? No. Nope. Okay. How was the wedding? I was good. Shout out Ali and Luke every week.

Shout outs every, every Monday, I guess.

Oh, shit. I just thought of something. What? That would be a good punishment. Although that would ruin my life.

Have you go to like four back to back wedding. That's a wedding every week.

But it's like Aws weddings. I do have fun. I. That would be pretty funny. As a punishment, you had to go to four weddings in a row.

And a funeral every.

And one funeral. And one funeral.

Yeah. Funeral.

He's right. Funeral. He's right.

Always. Yeah.

That would be the punishment. That might be our Super bowl picks for weddings in a funeral. What is funny about going to a funeral?

Nothing's funny.

But listen, if it's like an older person and like they were a listener, we're supposed to make content out of this. What would be funny about. There's gonna be. You're wrong, because I. There's no, you're wrong. There's someone who's listening right now who has had a death close to them, who either was a listener of the show or, like. Like, has a great sense of humor. That would definitely be like, yeah, have them come. I feel like you also just decided the stream thing when, like, we did the. We did the drive to LA. I didn't decide this.

No, Max. Like, he's just decided, but everything has.

We also kind of. Should we make this. Should we make this the picks punishment? Let's not do any rash decisions right now.

What if the funeral was, like, a celebrity? So, like, not somebody that had any personal connection with Jimmy Carter?

All right, we could say four weddings, but that would be for awo weddings in. In. In a month. Anyone means is the one easier than. It's easier than a nine darter stand up?

It really is.

We can think about it. I mean, it would be funny for the aw else, too. They just get whoever loses the picks. If you like, you can map it out to whatever month you want, you know, and just be like, yeah, four weddings in this month. Done. God, that would be hell for me. Four weddings, four states.

The travel would be tough.

Well, it would just be so much worse. I probably wouldn't be able to. I would probably just do my normal schedule.

Schedule.

No, you'd have to go to an aw. It have to be in a listener invite you to the wedding. Like, you can't be something. My whole entire life is just right. Like, I already go to weddings.

You'd also have to tell them, like, when you'd make small talk with. With, like, the friends and family, the wedding party. They're like, why are you here? Oh, I'm being punished.

Yeah. Weddings are also so fun. Like, well, not when you're like, yeah, but like, this. We have this weekend wedding, Washington.

Great.

And this would be a. This. This would hurt me the most. So, I mean, I. If you guys think that's a funny punishment, we could do it. And will we still do second and last? Yes. Second has to go to a funeral. No, no, one funeral.

What if memes blows himself up?

Pug just goes, oh, my God. You said funeral. Why? Oh, you walked in me. I don't know. I. Pft. And I. I think it would be. I think there'd be someone who'd be like, you'd be an honor if you came to the funeral. I'd give a speech, but like thick. Yeah, they did. Yeah. People have people. Death is part of life. I understand that this part satisfacting. Think of that. Like that caption online, like podcast goes, shows up to funeral to make.

We're not going to show up with a selfie. Can be like, hey, what's up here for the future.

No, we're not going to be video of it. We're just going to go like, there have been aw else who passed away, right? You think they're like. Someone wouldn't reach out and be like, hey, my friend was a big listener. It would be an honor if you came to the funeral. And they're like, yes, this is a punishment you have to you, you don't want. Funerals are sad. You say yourself, but you can table the funeral. Yeah, well, let's listen. In my funeral, I want everyone to fucking roast me. Death is part of life. I'm not even be there. Think about it. I won't be at my funeral. I want the stone cold music to come on. Yeah.

Halfway through, then everyone expect you to pop out of the casket.

I do want one of us to fake our desk. That'd be so funny.

I think. I think it's doable.

It would be so funny if we did a funeral and then just. Yeah, for the view. Haha. He's still alive. It would kind of ruin all of our credibility. People be really pissed after, but it would be very funny.

Undertaker gift for us.

I can go off the grid for a few years.

Yeah, we know.

No, not years. I was thinking a week. We could say you're dead for a week. Tomorrow. I'm out if he's true. Yeah. What? Memes funeral. I'm out.

You can do whatever you want with Hank goes. Hank fakes his own death and people like, why. Why does his handicap keep updating on.

The US Golf association memes on the part of my take? Instagram. You will be live for the first five. I'll be with him. I'll be with him for the game, so I will.

Can you live stream the first five?

Yeah, yeah, I'll do it from Instagram. The. The people that can't figure out the ESPN DirecTV should be like, tried in the supreme court. What do you mean? And possibly like, executed. What are we talking about now? I don't know. I have every. I pay for it. I can't watch ESPN in my house. Oh, what do you mean you have DirecTV? Yeah. And they, they black out is they're gonna, they're gonna figure it out tomorrow before Monday football. It's always the deadlines.

I hope so, cuz right now you're being pitted in a war like directive.

Trying to watch college football tv.

Telling you.

Yes I was. No, you weren't.

Yes, I know you weren't directly telling.

I was trying to watch a Tennessee game.

I could note I ESPN is telling you that directv is the devil. You don't know who to believe.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They should all be tried tomorrow be figured out because you can't Monday night Football. Yeah, I honestly think that they'll. They'll have a deal tomorrow night before the game. Because they just can't have Monday night football not be there. It's Monday Night Football. I know. You've missed what? College football right now and you haven't missed us open. You haven't missed an NFL game. No, right. That's exactly what. That's when the deadline happens.

What about the app? Can use the app?

No, cuz the app you can watch like ESPN plus games. But the app yet I was connecting. Yeah. Tomorrow. All right, you're welcome. I would love to watch the game with you. Okay. Okay, nice. Yeah. Have a great time. Talk or not talk for the whole time.

Awesome. What about. What about a pet funeral? Funeral?

Yeah. Yeah. A bird. I don't want to go to a dog's funeral. A bird. I'd go to a birds for you.

I think I could drag myself funeral.

You think you. You'd rather go to a human funeral? You're like, you're like. It's too disrespectful to go to a dog's funeral. But, you know, a human. That would be.

Well, it's a human. No, I think human requested it and all.

They passed away. I'm thinking of. I'm not thinking of. You're thinking of like a fucking, like 20 year old. I'm thinking of like a 90 year old living great life. I also don't think it really matter. I do think people would be. Yes, there's a. There's a decent amount. Obviously not everyone in every situation, but I wouldn't expect everyone. Absolutely. People who would be like, I would like that be awesome if they came to my funeral. Yeah. Yes. There are people listening right now. They're like, yeah, I'm gonna tell my significant other if I pass away, please invite them and we'll be there.

Well, whoever one of us, the worst gambler. And for the last month, we're all going to be talking about how much. We don't want to go to it.

Funeral is going to be motherfucking the cults under their breath. All right, great show, boys. Good to be back. Football numbers? Twelve, 856. Let's go nine.

I'm gonna go nine.

Three.

Chain pug. 97. Poke, 21. Pugs about to nail this pug. So good.

65. Reverse.

Love you guys.