Hey, part of my take, listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have a two for the people. We have Randy Moss talking preekness. And then we have Pat Connaughton from Milwaukee Bucks in person, talking about his season, talking about the playoffs. Real estate talk, too. Awesome interview with Pat, and we also have some basketball to to talk about. The Wolves are alive. We're going to go to a game seven. We're talking about the Celtics finishing off the Cavs. Nfl schedule release, PGA Championship, Firefest. It's a packed Friday show, and it's all brought to you by our friends at DK Horse. Sound the trumpets. It's horse racing time, so saddle up for action with DK Horse, an official DraftKings affiliate. Right now, new customers who download the DK Horse app can get a 100% deposit bonus up to $250. Just deposit It's $25 or more and complete the play-through requirement. Wager on your favorite horses, then watch the races live right in the app. Download the DK Horse app now. New customers get a 100% deposit bonus up to $250 when they opt in with code take only on DK Horse.

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They trumped them, and we're going to a game seven.

Yeah, game seven. Two sweetest words in sports. It used to be Beatle A. Now it's game seven. We're also game five fans, but this series has not been... It's been close in terms of the number of games won, But there haven't been any real good games. It feels like it goes back and forth. The first two games, obviously Timberwolves. Then the Nuggets went on a little run. Now it's back to the Wolves again. And whatever team is hot is just way better than the other team that night. So I don't know what to expect out of game seven. It feels like Nuggets have the advantage at home. But after watching this ass kicking tonight, now that's up in the air, too. The spreads don't matter in this game. Put it that way. It's just like, pick whatever team you think is going to win. And if they can figure out how to get the ball out of Jamal Murray's hands more, then that might be a good idea because that's how they turned the tide of the series. Was in the first two games, they were like, you know what? Michael Malone said Jamal Murray bringing the ball up the court is It's an issue for us.

Him getting pressure 94 feet is an issue for us. So we're going to have Jokić do it. We're going to have Aaron Gordon do it. And that seemed to work for three games. And Jamal Murray is just back to being complete garbage. He just can't shoot.

Yeah. Yeah, the Nuggets shot like shit. I also thought that the Timberwolves made an awesome defensive adjustment by doubling Jokić in the post where they're like, Hey, Rudy Gobert got cooked for an all-time performance in game five. Let's maybe give him some help. And it wasn't even the doubling. It was like how good and crisp they were with their rotations behind the double. Then obviously, it helps that the Nuggets just couldn't hit a shot. But all credit to the Wolves. They came out with that defensive intensity and game plan that you saw in games one and two and just absolutely took it to the Nuggets. And now, I mean, Anthony Edwards was awesome. I did have a nuclear missile well play on his overpoints, but the game was so out of hand. He was like three points off. But yeah, you're right. The spreads don't matter. These games, as close as they've been, it's been a great counter-chess moves by both coaches. We now get to a game seven in Denver, I think Sunday night. I guess, whichever team is going They want to start making some shots because the Nuggets were so bad from three, so, so bad from three tonight.

And the Wolves look like the game one and two Wolves, where it's like this team is ready.

That's the thing. The Wolves played. They should get credit. They played with a lot of energy, and they looked really good, especially in the first half. They put the game out of hand pretty much by the middle of the third quarter. But also the Nuggets, I think deserve... It's like, who won? Did they win it or did the Nuggets lose it? If the Nuggets had shot well, this game would have been much more competitive. I don't know if it would have been... Obviously, 45 points is a lot, but this was just an all-time shit performance by the Nuggets shooting the basketball.

And we also should say that the Wolves were their throwbacks with the throwback court, which was the minute I turned on the game, I was like, Oh, it's fucking on. I don't know. They should wear that every single game. I do not think they could lose in those. I know there's probably stats to say they probably lost game three and four, and I'm forgetting it. I'm going recency bias. They don't lose in those.

I like the T-shirts they were wearing tonight, too. They're swaggerger jacking, okay, see a little bit, but the fan T-shirts that just said, I heart wolves. That's a good one.

Yeah. By the way, if you're tuning in and watching us, Hank is in a... Well, now I was going to say Uber, but you're banned from Uber. A Lyft?

He's in a library.

I'm in a library, yeah.

He's studying. A Lyft library.

Yeah. He joined the show just to prove that he's still awake, even though it's not that late. But he's gone for the weekend. He's out of town, and he's in a lift right now in a library, a lift library.

Yeah, great to be here. I missed you guys.

He's also PFT. I can see him even though you can't really see him. He's like a hologram, Hank. You see that smile? That smile is that the Wolves might win game seven.

Yeah, he's happy. Hank's definitely in a better place right now than he was at this exact time two nights ago. You do look like a hologram or like a ghost, like a demon poltergeist.

Yeah, I tried to I'm going to take it off, but then I feel like I almost blew up the Riverside, so I'm just going with it.

I'm in traffic. Can I take it off again.

I can't. I'm going to say it, Stop the recording.

All right. Other game tonight that was incredible. Period of the Week. New York Rangers. Period of the Week. New York Rangers down 3-1 look lifeless. Looked like we were going to have an all-time choke job by the Rangers, forcing a game seven after they're up 3-0 in this series. They come back, they win the game. Memes. I would like to read a tweet to you that was posted when the Rangers had an incredible comeback. Like, awesome moment for Rangers fans. They were probably... I know some Rangers fans. We have some coworkers are Rangers fans. They started to feel the pressure because you don't want to be the team that's up 3-0 and then have to go home for a game seven. So put all that out there. Rangers come back from down 3-1. They looked like they were dead. And the tweet we got from the Parton My Take account was, Hurricanes were so close to pulling off the series come back. That's the quote for the Rangers game-winning goal. That's our one and only memes. Yeah, I love it.

I love it.

He was ahead of it.

Unbiased, though. Memes is nothing but unbiased. There was a great, great save by the defender in this game. Did See that? Yes. Layed out, stopped the buck on the line. The parallax angles were everywhere. They're trying to figure out if it went in. I don't think it went in. It was an all-time hustle play.

Yeah. Memes, so how are you feeling now that the Rangers You were definitely like, This is going to be awesome. They're going to choke. The pressure is all going to be on them in game seven. And then it just flipped on you. Are you getting nervous? I was very excited in the second. And then Biz went on TNT and said, When the Canes win the series, I want the Martinukes to be framed and signed. And then they just went on a tear on the third. So it's Biz's fault? Yeah, it's It's all Biz's fault. Yeah, he is a mush. It's good, too, because Biz is like Charles Barkley. The two of them together are like the mushes of their respective shows on TNT.

Yeah, they're so good. Actually, we talk a little bit later about inside the NBA and how it's maybe going away, maybe moving to a different place. I went down a rabbit hole for about, I'd say 25, 30 minutes today, watching the best clips in Inside the NBA history. I was just laughing the entire time. It's so It's so funny. It's so good. I hope they keep it together somehow. But if you got some time to kill on a Friday, if you're in a lift and you're going somewhere probably totally sober, just pull up the clips, the highlight reels of inside the NBA and just laugh your ass off. It'll be the best 30 minutes that you spend.

Did you watch the clip? My all-time favorite is Charles Barkley talking about how he got his bracelet from a dude in the sauna. Yeah, in the steam room. In the steam room, yeah. He's like, Yeah, this guy gave it to me.

That's a great one. My other favorite is the night that the Clippers and the Rockets got into the fight underneath the Staples Center, and they went to somebody in the locker room that was giving a very serious report about what happened. And she was like, The LAPD has been called. They are providing security for both teams. There's a police presence outside the locker rooms, escorting players to the team busses. It was a very serious report. And then it cut back to inside the NBA, and Shaq and Charles were just crying, laughing. And they were doing like, fake 911 calls. Like, Hey, 911? Yeah, you better get here quick. Chris Paul is about to come kick my ass. It was so good.

But guess what, PFT? We don't have to worry because I don't know if you saw NBA down the counterpart on ESPN tonight. But minutes before the tip off of the Wolves Nuggets game, they were so locked in. They had a debate. Would Steven A score one basket versus LeBron in a one-on-one game up to 100 points, spotting Steven A 99 points? Yeah, so Steven- That was what they talked about.

Because Steven A brought this up. Steven A brought this up before.

Because he was wet. He was wet before They started taping.

No, he brought it up. I think it was on first take or get up one of those shows, and he brought it up. And so he started talking about it. And so the way that content works at ESPN is when somebody says something inflammatory on one of their shows, then all the other shows talk about that for the next two weeks. So what did they say? Did they think he could do it?

I think he said he could do it because he was warming up with Bob Myers tonight, and he hit five jumpers in a row. So I think That was what propelled it like, Hey, it's ready for primetime. Let's bring this debate to primetime. I could probably get a bucket on him.

I'm going to say that I think Steven A could score five buckets on him. Because I think LeBron- Winners or losers?

What do you mean? If LeBron scores, does he get the ball checked out?

Oh, yeah. If LeBron scores, no, it goes to losers.

Okay.

I think he'd get five on him because I think that LeBron, he'd get tired. There's no load management in the game to 100 one-on-one.

Yeah. Steven A could just probably shit talk him to get in his head. Yeah.

Oh, easily. Yeah.

Okay, should we talk about the PGA Championship real quick? I have two thoughts. One is Is Scottie Scheffler may be mortal because he's not leading, and it's very weird to see him not leading because Xander Shoffly was incredible. What did Scottie end up shooting? Minus three, minus four. So he's tied for 12. It was just weird. But he had this goal in the first hole, which was insane. Yeah, he had an eagle, but then he had a bad bogey a couple of holes later. Then the other one is, do you think there's a possibility that John Rom gives back all his money and he's like, I made a huge mistake. I'm going to go back to the PGA?

Which is Because he's not happy?

He's so miserable and he's golfing like shit.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe what is it about playing on the live tour that actually makes him worse at golf?

I don't know. I mean, he ended up minus one, but it was like, if you look at his scorecard, he was all over the place. He bogeyed. It's actually incredible that he was minus one because he ended up bogging five holes, and he just looked miserable out there. I don't know. It could be Could he be the one that swings it all back? Or he's like, I don't want this money. Can I just give you an IOU, guys?

Well, the thing about John Rahm is I think he still wants all the money. He wants to play better golf, too. But no, I think that the money is a big stumbling block in that negotiation because he doesn't want to lose it. And then also trying to go to MBS and say, Hey, can I just say psych? Can we just do a redo on this one? I'll go back to the PGA. I don't know if that's going to happen at all because that's John Rom. It felt like was a big part of the public investment funds leverage, where now everybody's talking about they've got the best players and you can't make an argument otherwise now, especially how the start of the season was going. Besides Scottie, there are a couple of other guys, but they have all the top players, the ones that have been most successful in majors. It just feels like the John Rom transfer was the tipping point for that. I don't think that the Live Tour wants to give that guy up.

I agree with you. He does look miserable out there, so I don't know if he's just like, hating his decision, but it's interesting to watch. And then our guys, Brooks and Max, both did well. They're in the hunt.

They did well. I love it when they play together. I love it when they're in the same group because it solves a lot of problems for me. I don't have to worry about jumping back and forth from groups or waiting till my group shot comes up. I just said it. I forget it. Then Shoffly. Shoffly was lights out today. He's in the lead. He shot nine under, I think. So now everyone is saying, It feels like it's the year. It feels like it's the tournament. He's nine under right now. I don't think I'm going to go on the record and say, I've seen this movie before and it's not going to end well.

Yeah, bogey free golf from him. He was on fire. 62. It was crazy. Hank, have you ever played a bogey for your round?

Yeah.

Doubles or something?

All doubles, yeah.

Okay. Anything else? We have an awesome rest of the show back in studio. We just wanted to make sure we updated, obviously, game 6. Anything else before we kick it to ourselves to talk more playoffs, NFL schedule, Randy Moss and Pat Connaughton. We got any last thoughts?

Jason Duffner is in the hunt. I bet him, I think it was like 50 bucks to win $10,000 if he finishes top 10. So something to keep an eye on.

All right, Jason Duffner.

Duffner update.

Duffner update. What were you going to say, Jake? Didn't you say on the last show you wanted Michael Block to finish dead last? I did, and he was for a minute, but I don't think he's dead last anymore. That sucks. Okay, so- He had an eight on the second hole.

I'm glad you brought Blocky up because he had a quad on number two, and then he's in commercials all over the place. He's like one of the faces of the PGA Championship this year. It's very funny. And he does. He looks more like if you kidnapped Ryan Rosillo and left him out in the sun for a week, that's what Michael Block looks like.

Yeah. I forgot that John Daley plays this every year. So John Daley is second to last, and Michael Block, he's far off finishing dead last. But yeah, he sucks. And the eight that he got was so funny because It just goes against everything if he had worries distance because it was just him hitting it back and forth over the green and getting an eight.

Yeah. Also with John Daley, it's awesome. The setup that he has at the PJ Championship is incredible. He gets to drive a cart, so he's driving around, but his catty has to walk. So his catty is carrying his bag, and then John Daley is just driving a car next to him, not obeying car path rules, driving all over the place. It's awesome. I love to see that at a big John.

And the reporter for The Athletic, Gabby Herzeg, said she tweeted this, I overheard the volunteer with John Daley's group say that he went through two packs of cigarettes, four Snicker bars, and two Cokes today at Valhalla. Had to share.

Two sodas?

What the What the fuck is wrong with him? It should have been Pepsi. Would have shot better. Would have shot better. That's a fact.

That's a wild ratio, too. A pack of cigarettes for every soda?

Yeah, and also two Snickers. I think it would be even crazy. Two Snickers bars for every pack of cigarettes. Yeah. He had four Snickers bars.

How many cigarettes are there in a pack of cigarettes? Twenty. He's 20.

It's 20.

He smoked 40 cigarettes in 18 holes.

He smoked 10 cigarettes for every Snickers bar.

That's fucking incredible. He probably didn't even throw away the cans either. They're just probably filled with cigarette bots.

Of course. Of course.

Jake, have you ever smoked a cigarette?

Never in my life. I have dips, though, with you.

Oh, yeah, that's right. I remember that.

I smoked a cig, Jake. We'll get you smoking a cig.

One of the worst- That also wasn't as black Buffalo.

Yeah, that's true. But, yeah, we I'll get you some cigarettes, Jake. We'll just do one night. They make you look so cool. What if we do a John Daly challenge?

Forty cigarettes, 18 holes.

Two Pepsis, four Snickers. I think we got to do that as a video. I think we got to do that as a video. That would rock. Done. I'm in. I'm in. I'm so in. I think I'd probably eat the Snickers bars before I even got past the first hole.

This is how my life goes. I start smoking because of some stupid PMT-related challenge. Then I have to I have to start vaping to quit smoking. Then I have to start smoking to quit vaping. And then I quit smoking, and then we do another stupid PMT challenge. I have to start smoking again. Yeah.

All right. Well, we're doing it. Yeah, I'm in. We're doing it on the simulator.

I'm in An hour and a half. Okay, so I'm looking forward to the John Daly challenge.

Yeah, I am too. This is going to be great. We should walk because it'll give us a little more time. Two blocks of cigarettes, four Snickers, two Cokes, and 18 holes.

Get it sponsored by Hooters.

Two Pepsis. Yeah, we got this. This is no problem. Okay, I'm happy we had one more thing to talk about. Okay, great. The blocky led us to this. We're going to smoke two setbacks of cigarettes and play some golf. And we got to try to I think. We got to try to- This is going to stink. We got to beat John Daley's score, which we should be able to do if we did a scramble plus 16.

Plus 16. Now, what if we just did a full pack of cigarettes each?

No, Daly was 11. Yeah, maybe me, you and Hank will do the John Daly challenge. We got to finish. That's actually what we should do. We should do a three-man scramble. He shot 11? Okay, so that actually makes it even more exciting. We do the three-man scramble, have to shoot 11, and we split the cigarettes to Snickers Bars and the Pepsis. And if we don't do it, we have to just do it again right away. If we don't score less than 11, we have to just go. We have to literally just start again the same time, just be All right, so we could have to smoke infinity packs of cigarettes.

What's so funny is that smoking 40 cigarettes in 18 holes is essentially what dads do to their kids when they find you smoking for the first time. They're like, Oh, you like cigarettes? Well, here, I bet you can't smoke 40 of them. That's a casual afternoon at the Lynx for John Daly.

All right, I love this. All right, I think what we finally have to decide is I think it's 40 cigarettes. I think we all should have to do the four Snickers and two Pepsis individually. And if we don't shoot better than 11, we have to go right back and start over.

Can I be honest with you? I think we all have to do the two packs.

Okay. And if we don't shoot 11, we have to start over?

I don't know about that, but I would feel like I was cheating the game if I only smoked one pack. That's the hardest part of the challenge.

Easily. You basically can't have a cigarette out of your hand.

You can't breathe.

You're just breathing cigarettes. You can't breathe there. Yeah. You have no time to stop smoking a cigarette.

John Daly is essentially training at altitude every time he plays around a golf because he's not getting any oxygen.

Oh, jeez.

If we do this- He might not have finished the second pack, though.

We should say that. We probably should get a clarification. If anyone can get us an actual amount of cigarettes smoked in the 18 holes, that would help because two back cigarettes, it could have been he needed a second pack, but he didn't get all the way through it.

So who reported this?

Gabby Herzeg.

Okay. If anybody out there knows Gabby Herzeg- I went to the bottom of it.

Oh, she follows me. I'll hit her up.

Okay. We need to get the exact number of cigarettes or as close to it as possible.

Okay. This is going to be fun. Hey, quick question. Do you know exactly how many cigarettes John Daley smoked?

Was it a pack and a half, a pack and a quarter, or a full bonafide two packs of cigarettes?

All right, we'll get an answer. For the Knux, he just scored. Oh, he did? Oh, fuck. I told you guys. I know you did. No, I'm not blaming you, Jake. I'm not blaming you. You did. Good call, Jake. I had a nuke on Ant, so I didn't really have Damn it. Yeah, that game is a 2-2 right now. We'll talk about it on Sunday. Okay, let's kick it back to ourselves. Okay, we're back in studio, and Henry Lockwood, you didn't beat the Cavs by triple digis, but you did get rid of the Cavaliers, ended their season.

More importantly, you look well-rested.

You look well-rested. We'll get to it on Firefest. The Cavs are gone. They also got shamed. Again, this is, I think, the third one that's happened.

The body wasn't even cold yet.

It was maybe 30 minutes after the Cavs get bounced. He posts a deep dive into the Cleveland Cavaliers and J. B. B. Bickerstaffe, which, by the way, he doesn't get enough credit for having the worst coach name of all time. J. B.

Bicker staff. It's fun to say, though.

But it's literally his coaching staff is bickering. Yes. They're upset at each other. But yeah, the Shams' breakdown was, so they lose. J. B. Bicker staff goes back into the locker room and probably pulls up his phone. He's like, All right, I guess I got to figure out my vacation. We went to the second round. First time we won a playoff series without LeBron James since 1993. It goes on the internet, and it's just this entire story how he got undressed by Kobe Altman, the team President. No one really respected him. Donovan Mitchell doesn't really like him. Jared Allen might be a wimp.

And you mean figuratively undressed by the team present? Yes. Okay, good. So it's got to be weird for him to go through that. If we're putting our conspiracy hats on and we're speculating, like we talked with Woja about, did LeBron plant this? Lebron courts Courtside, maybe trying to elbow the coach out, elbow his way in. Now, one thing we didn't talk about with LeBron courtside, I think he had his own personal bottle of wine with him.

Always does.

Yeah. So you're allowed to do that. You can BYOW, if you're LeBron James to an NBA game.

Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

Let's get into it. All right.

So LeBron is going to go back to the Cavs. Lebron has a podcast with JJ Reddick. Lebron wants to make the podcast even bigger. Lebron gets JJ Reddick hired by the Lakers, tells JJ Redick, I'm going to get you the Lakers job, but I'm not going to be here. But at least you have the Lakers job. And now, expectations are a little different. You can have this Lakers job for a while. Anthony Davis, you have all this cash face.

Lebron knows that he's a coach killer, so he's like, You know what? I'm going to put you in a position to succeed because you're my buddy.

We can't be on the same team and do this podcast. I am going to go to Cleveland and I'll get a different coach. So LeBron is actually trying to get two coaches hired right now. Is that actually his way of finally giving back to the coaching community?

I mean, that would be... Well, no, because he also got two coaches fired, if that's the case.

Yeah, but he's trying to restore his karma by getting two coaches hired in the same cycle.

He's a job creator. Yeah. Well, yeah. But again, he's getting the two coaches fired because he got two coaches fired.

Wait, what other coach? Hypothetically. Oh, and Bickerstaffe.

And Bickerstaffe.

Yes, correct.

So he is creating new jobs, but he's also eliminating old jobs.

So he's actually carbon neutral.

Carbon neutral. But again, none of this might happen. None of this might happen. But it's fun. But it's fun to think about. But J. B. B. Bickerstaffe, probably... I think that Shams has something like this ready to go for every team now that gets bounced. I'm going to be disappointed if the Nuggets beat the Timberwolves, the Timberwolves get bounced, if he doesn't have one ready to go for the Timberwolves, if he doesn't have one ready to go for the Thunder or maybe the Mavericks, I want to see the immediate postmortems on every team. Here's why they I always knew it wasn't going to work.

If I were Rudy Gobert or Karl-Anthony Towns, I'd pull a fire alarm tonight trying to just extend the series because I feel like it's going to go with them.

No, you got to be a source. You got to be the one. You got to have your narrative out there.

We should release that this podcast is splitting up and see if Shams just posted an article. Imagine if we just did that and it was just all Hank's quotes. Like, What the fuck, dude? Why did you do this? That'd be good.

Night-night recordings.

We need that on Inside the NBA, too. Yeah. Give us the-Oh, yeah. They're starting to allude to it, which is sad.

They're not even alluding to it. They're just saying it. Charles Barkley is like, I think we're done.

Yeah, the show is over. It's very sad. I hope they do a gone fishing for themselves.

Yeah. It It's hard to talk because it seems like it's... I actually have a take. I love Ernie Johnson. He's awesome. He is the point guard to that. The stars of the show are Kenny and Chuck. So it will be weird because I think What Chuck has basically been saying is he'll go somewhere else. Ernie Johnson won't, which will suck because you don't want to break up the chemistry. But I still think if you have to replace one person, you can replace him and probably keep going.

Probably. But Ernie Johnson is the perfect- He's perfect.for that show. He's absolutely perfect. I love everyone's talking about him. He is a Turner lifer. He's going to work for that Turner Company until the day he dies.

Yeah, like, Ernie, it's okay to not be a Turner lifer. Let us keep enjoying the show that you've built and has been phenomenal. No No one's going to be like, Oh, man, how did you turn your back on Turner?

Yeah. So I guess it all depends on what either network or service gets the NBA and who they can hire.

I'm pretty sure it's MBC.

I think it's MBC.

It's definitely going to be MBC. I think it's pretty much MBC, yeah. So who's going to do it from MBC? Jack Collins works. I was going to say Tony Dungy. Mike Florio. Get him out. Tony Romo.

Tariko works there.

Tariko. I don't think Tariko would be that good. He's good at everything. That's not true. Talking to Staying away from women.

Yeah. Jake, you walked yourself into that one. You literally just were like, Hey, guys, here, let me put this ball on the tea.

My Tariko is a great guy.

Yeah, let me put this ball on the tea. Okay.

Great broadcaster, even better human being.

Randy Moss.

Oh, yeah.

That would be sick.

Our Randy Moss. Yeah, our Randy Moss. Our Randy Moss would be excellent at that job.

Noah Eagle.

Florio. I'd like to see Florio do it for a day. He'd be so upset. He's just like, You guys are talking in hypotheticals. Get back to the facts.

No, Florio would throw out some of his little NBA fans. Yeah, true. Yeah, you're right. We actually do need to unleash Mike Florio's brain on the NBA.

That would be fun. Okay, I take it back. Florio would be perfect for that show. Okay, other game. Oh, sorry, Hank.

We covered it. Congrats, Hank, your Celtic cakewalk.

In our defense, we don't know whether you're going to show up to the show anymore. We have no idea if you're sitting here or if this is AI, Hank. Hank, the Celtics.

It was a good one. The Cavs fought hard. Marcus Morris, career game. They were close for the first three quarters. Celtics closed it out, almost covered. One by 15. I don't give a fuck about anyone that says that their path is easy. There's nothing that the Celtics can do about that. All they can do is beat the teams in front of them, and that's what we're going to do. We're going to smoke New York. Maybe Indiana, if New York absolutely chokes the rest of the series, but who cares? It's not a valid excuse for people to be like, Oh, like Cupcake, Mickey Mouse, Eastern Conference, where I'm like, Who cares? What are we supposed to do?

If you're winning games, that's why you're winning series 4-1. Pretty good. There are going to be some hiccup games for sure. We talked about Jalen and Jason going after each other with the chest slap. Do you see Jalen got him back? After Jason Tateam hit that big shot towards the end of the game, Jalen went up to him, slapped him in the chest really hard. They laughed about it, had a good time. They're bros again.

Jalen Brown just needs every single day in these off days, just 1,000, 2,000, 3,000, 4,000, 5,000 free throws.

That's a lot of free throws. What about his left hand?

That's okay. That's a little bit of an overrated thing. The free throws is real, and the free throws are scary. He was 2-4 last night. It's just crazy that it was like this three years ago, two years last year. There's no confidence with him going to the line. As of watching as a fan, and it feels like him as a player, which is just a nightmare scenario when we are playing a good team, fully healthy team, close games, every point matters. I'm not even worried about the Knicks. I'm worried about our free throw making.

So are you worried a little bit about Jerry O'Neill? Bing bong. Bing bong. Bing bong, Henry. Bing bong.

No, I love Jerry. I welcome it with open arms.

Here you go. Our friend Kirk tweeted this the other day, Kirk Minnan. You walk around with this in your back pocket. 87 Lakers path to the finals. They beat a 37 and 45 Suns team, a 42 and 40 Nuggets team, and a 36 and 46 Sonics team. Just go around and say that. Have that in a card. Who cares? Who cares?

You play who's in front of you.

Path to the Finals does not matter.

That's a perfect thing for Kirk to put out there, too. It's like a 1980s team. Yeah, right.

But Are they going to take away Magic Johnson's title there?

No, no one says that. Right.

So who cares? Happy you stayed cocky. Happy you're here today. Thanks. Yeah. Other game. Luka. He heard all that junk. He's not hurt anymore.

No, he's still very hurt. So they put up a great graphic last night. It was the Big Ben graphic. He is the new Big Ben. Right knee sprain, left knee soreness, back soreness, left Achilles soreness. His teeth hurt, and he has a parrot and his head's falling off.

I think the teeth hurt. You got to get that checked out.

Yeah, the teeth. The teeth is bad.

Teeth pain is bad.

Irr from teeth. I think he got hit in his teeth. It's not like it's a toothache. If you have a toothache, you can't do anything. No.

But he had a triple double. He looked awesome. Hank, you okay over there?

He just choked on some water.

He choked on...

You okay? That's a grind. Do you mean drowned?

It's a grind.

This job is a grind. Hank almost drowned drinking a body armor.

We're good. The Thunder, after game four, I was like, Oh, they earned their stripes. They're back to not have any stripes anymore because besides Shea Gildish, Alexander, they look like the moment is too big. Jalen Williams has been bad. He needs to be really good. I'm just so sick of watching the Thunder pump fake on every single possession and then pass and then drive to the middle and then pass and then miss a three.

Yeah, so their three-point shooting in the last two games has been atrocious. They're not going to win series if they shoot 25% from three. They have to be lights out from three and then they can win. I don't think they're dead yet.

No, but they have not had anyone besides Shea Gildas, Alexander in the last... Jl Williams is one of their best players. He needs to step up. Stop pump faking. It feels like there's a crisis of confidence, which you could totally understand for a young team. Shea Gillius, Alexander is a little bit older than the other guys where he's been through a little bit more. So he has the confidence, but The young guys are being like, This moment feels too big. Either way, it's okay for the Thunder in the future. But right now, and I am back to, they did the hack of Shaq again. Shout out Derek Lively going five for six from the free throw line, just shoving it in their face. But yeah, the Mavs are a little dangerous, Hank. Their defense is really good.

Yeah, I hope they can beat the Nuggets. I think they're good.

Okay.

And Can I... Do I think they'll beat the Nuggets? No.

I feel like their role players are stepping up in big... P. J. Washington has been great. He had 10 points on Wednesday night, but Derrick Jones has been awesome. That block and then dunk sequence with two minutes left, which basically the game was over, but it was like that was the dagger. Kyrie's not even scoring, and they're playing well.

You think they have a chance to get the Nuggets on?

I think if Luka- Blacks out every game in top 50 or Kyrie.

But that's a chance. That's the beauty of the NBA playouts.

If you have- Better or worse chance than the Timberwolves.

Worse. I think a worse chance. I think there's definitely a high likelihood. In fact, I think it's probably going to happen where either Luka or Kyrie, maybe both of them have one game where they just go insane and they win a game. I don't think it's going to be a sweep. I don't think it's going to be 4-1, but I would have the Nuggets in 6, Nuggets in 7.

I think they might have a better chance just because the Luka factor. Anytime you have a guy like Luka who is a superstar, and you're like, if he just plays this- Everyone was sucking off Anthony Anderson after game 1 and two.

Oh, he's Superstar.

He's a nice Superstar. He's Jason Tatum.

The big three has left.

So much better than Jason Tatum.

Oh, wow.

Okay, so now we know. I mean, the Suck Off Fest was insane. Well, yeah, the Nuggets. We already know whether the wolves are dead or not because you listened to the beginning of the show. Okay, they're dead.

Also, an underrated part of Wednesday's show was when we asked Hank how it went between the Nuggets and the Timberwolves when we recorded in studio, and he was like, Bad. What do you mean? Just bad. It was bad.

Nothing good at the beginning of the show.

Nothing good, yeah.

That's right.

You don't think Luka, though, it's a long shot, but Luka is in that group of guys. It's like, if he just goes insane, anything can happen.

Yeah. I mean, Kyrie is in there, too.

Jokić is obviously higher than that. Yeah, Jokić is bigger. If Jokić goes insane and Luka goes insane, the Nuggets went. I'm just saying that if Luka has that few guys in the league that's like, they could control a series if they just play out of their minds. That's where his ceiling is.

I hope he does.

Okay.

Yeah, I think that the Nuggets have even four of those guys where if they have... They're capable of having incredible nights, and when they do, they're probably going to win. I just think that the Nuggets have too much talent for the Mavericks.

Okay. Hockey, the abs fought back. People said that there has been injuries with the abs, and I was wrong to say to crown the stars. I still think the stars are going to win this series.

I said that. I said, Look out for the abs, but my opinion is solely based on spit and checklist.

Yeah, that's right. That was pre-pre-playoffs opinion.

No, it was pre-this series. Okay.

Before the series. My pre-playoffs opinion from Ryan Whitney saying the stars are the best team.

Yeah, stars are. But also These two teams, whoever wins the series, they're probably going to be the favorite to come out of the West. Yeah.

Okay, so we should talk about the NFL schedule release. We finally have the schedule release. I have a real old man, Yells a cloud take. I think Hank agrees with me. I don't know where you are, PFT.

Are you talking about teams getting too cute with it?

I'm talking about the entire thing. I'm talking about the leaks. I'm talking about the intentional leaks, the unintentional leaks, The release of the schedule, I'm over all of it. I actually wish the NFL would go to a system where we don't even know when it's coming out, and it's just a random Tuesday afternoon, the schedule is out because the surprise of it would be awesome. This just feels like it's gotten to a point where everyone's like, I got to be cute. Every team account has got to be cute, and we know so much of the schedule before the schedule even gets put out there. That the moment just doesn't... 7 o'clock hit. I had known the bear schedule for what, seven hours?

What we have to do is we have to have fake releases that come out. That way you can't trust in the leaks that you see.

Or just, I'm saying 11 o'clock. If Schefter hadn't tweeted this last week, and I know they have to make it entertainment, they have to make a TV show, I get it, it's never going to change. But I think it would rock if at 11 o'clock on this week, Tuesday, Sunday, you just got a tweet from the NFL being like, Schedules are out. Go check your schedule out now. It's like, holy shit.

Yeah. From a fan perspective, also, it would be electric if they just announced next week's schedule during that break between the afternoon games and Sunday night football.

Yeah, we said the Selection Show.

But it's every week. Every week, you get to determine, you get to figure out who you're playing the next week. Then you have, even if you lose your game on Sunday and you're depressed because your team just lost, you get to have something to look forward to. Let's find out who we're playing tonight. It It would never happen because of travel and all that. But it's become a big production for sure. I honestly did not know why they had a big show around the schedule release, because the event is the schedule's out there. That's like a one and done thing. It's like, then you sit and you go through all the schedules, you talk about your favorite matchups over the course of the season. To me, it feels like it's a big production, but that's what the NFL does. And they're like, We can dominate one more night of the week in the middle of May. Yeah, let's just pull all of our marketing initiatives, put it into that. Then all the team accounts do it because obviously, social impressions mean a lot to the value of the team. It becomes like prom. It's nerd prom.

Well, what it is I was I was on with our guys, Randy and Bill, today on Pittsburgh radio, and we were talking about the schedule release and how it's gotten so crazy. It's essentially the NFL just has stepped on our drugs so much, and we just keep taking it. They're like, Hey, we're going to make you watch the schedule release in the middle of May. Hey, we're going to make you watch Friday football in Brazil. Hey, how about Wednesday football? They're throwing the baby powder, all that, and we're like, Yeah, fine. We'll take it. Yeah, I'll take all of it.

Give it to us. I'll take all of it. Yeah, you're right. The announcement of when the schedule will be released, the build up to the release, the leaks into the release. You got to dial it back. Mark Cuban said pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered. It turns out he was wrong on that because the NFL is doing really good.

It's From that moment on, it's gone nuclear.

So much bigger. Also, hogs are delicious. I eat a hog. I don't eat a pig.

Slaughtering hogs, great.

The fatter, the better. But it does feel like they're getting high on their own supply a little bit.

I hate being in the spot.

We're going to keep consuming that shit.

I hate being in the spot where I'm like, Oh, this is too much because it's just... Being the cynical guy sucks, but it just felt a little too much.

I feel like in the past, it seemed forced this year where it seemed like there was a mandate from every team to try and do something really creative. In the past, it was like, some teams just release their schedules, some teams would do something funny, some teams would just do a generic schedule release video. This year, everyone seemed to be like, You have a budget and do something crazy. Some of them were so corny that it was like, This is bad. But the Patriots one was fantastic. Edelman killed it, Cronk killed it.

Ernie Adams, The Patriots was great. The Patriots one was great. The Chargers, obviously, are the gold standard. The Titans did something great last year and like, Let's run it back. I love that. Yeah, that's fine. It worked. Let's do it again. Stavi, we love Stavi. That was great. There were so many, though, that were just confusing.

It's because there's 32 of them, and they all come out at the exact same time.

You were in the Cowboys one. I was in the Packers one. I didn't understand the Packers one at all.

It's such a sad thing for this podcast that our biggest rivals just call us up, and they're like, Hey, you guys are such losers that we want to use your face in our marketing initiative.

The Cowboys one, though, they used two... I was getting confused because they did two people per game.

No.

Some of them.

Well, no. The commanders played against the Cowboys twice. And so they had me and RG3. I went first. No big deal.

Was it your home game or theirs?

I was the first one. I think I was the home home game.

For the Cowboys?

I was the Commander's home game against them. Well, RG3 doesn't do so well on the FedEx field surf.

I'm pretty sure for the lines, they had someone, Jerry Jones, calling someone from the lines, then right after Tim and Post Malone calling someone from the lines.

My personal friend post?

Yeah. It was a little confusing.

Yeah. There were some confusing videos out there. In yours, yeah. The packers. It made no sense.

I was just watching for you being like, Would it please show up soon?

It was Joe Buck and me back to back. I was I was thinking about a PFT because I wrestled with it. I actually didn't know you were doing the Cowboys until I basically walked around this office being like, Should I do this? I feel like they're going to set me up. Then Hank was like, Well, PFT is doing the Cowboys once. You might as well. But I'm okay with not being asked by the bears because I'm honest about the bears. I've said some things about the bears that the bears probably don't like. There's probably people in the building that are like, That guy has said some things about ownership, about the team, about the franchise, whatever. Packers, I've just been I hate their fucking guts, and they know that. And so it's like, All right, we can let this guy say that he hates their fucking guts.

Yeah. I mean, it was a cool thing to be involved with, but at the same time, it was like the cowboys are just... They know that they have dominated the commanders recently, and They want me to be the face of losers, and I'm happy to do that.

I was negotiating with the packers like it was a terrorist negotiation because they hit me up, and immediately I said no. And they're like, Well, let us just send you the idea. They sent me the idea, and I was like, I'm not going to do it like this. I'm going to do it my way. I'm going to send you a video if you want to use it fine.

That's good.

I was like, I'm just going to say, Fuck you guys, because I can't do it any other way.

I wasn't going to play the Cowboys a little game. Right. Oh, no, the Cowboys. Oh, I can't believe it. I put on my Dan Quinn backwards hat, and I was like, We got your leader. They edited that out. Probably smart on their part.

I think they edited out me saying, I hope Jordan Love gets hit by a bus.

Yeah, it's probably smart. Listen, we're going to fight fire with fire. Iron sharpens iron. We made your team work a little bit harder for that release. I liked what the Chargers did with the Sims. I had an idea for the Chargers that I think that they should have used. They should have had Connor Stalions on a Twitch stream on Expedia, looking up tickets and game time, looking up flights and tickets to all their opponents the week before the chargers were going to play them. That would have been good. Or if you want to dial it back, the chargers should have had Harbaugh just hand them the schedule and just have Harbaugh read the schedule into the camera and just pure Harbaugh. Just get that. But yeah, they were Next year, we should probably make our own cheesy schedule release. Part of my take schedule release is Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Also, they used to do them during the day.

I don't know.

It was definitely not a prime time. Every team was like, tonight, eight o'clock, teaser. They overhyped it.

I know. I hate being... I just really hate because it was a fun thing where you're right, Hank. It was the perfect mix of, say, half the league just released their schedule and half the league tried something. Now everyone's trying something, and so many of them don't hit. You're like, This is weird.

They're going to end up doing it like, staggered, where, okay, NFC East, all their teams release a schedule at 07:00 PM. Yeah. Afc East, 07:15. It's going to be like the Bracket show. Yeah.

This is my first real season, just accepting being a huge loser fan.

Oh, you're actually accepting it?

Yeah. No, it's going to be a long season. I had the realization that I loved the video so I was like, This is going to be the highlight of the year.

Yeah, you're going to start looking forward to this day.

I know in November, I'm going to look back and be like, That's not true. Remember when we... How funny this was?

That's not true. For Jake May's first long bomb will be the highlight of your year.

Yeah, but no, Hank's right. It's going to be like, We had four losing seasons in a row, but you know what? We won the internet. People were telling us, We won the internet, sir.

Oh, you are a loser now. I know. Yeah, that is the biggest loser thing because I've been there. I know. Yeah, we're winning the offseason. Nothing better. Hang the banner.

Oh, yeah. You're going to start fantasizing about wide receiver free agents.

Yeah. We're going to be looking at tanking. Or not tanking, but it's going to be... I'll be watching college football probably closer than ever before this year.

I thought that the Panthers should have had David Tepper just walking around up to people that were wearing different... Different strangers wearing hats of all their teams and going up and taking their hats off them and then showing it to the camera. Week one. Yeah.

That would have been good. Throwings drinks. What if he just threw a drink in someone's face and then the logo came up?

Yeah, I like that, too. Yeah.

As for the actual schedule, we had the top 10 easiest schedules this year, which I guess we knew because we already knew the opponents, but Falcons, Chargers, bears, Jets, Saints. Memes, we are, by the way. Do you want to talk real quick about the pervert sicko, Henry Lockwood, and what he's going to probably do to us this year? Because the Jets and the Bears The first two months, are very winnable, and then they get difficult. So the ride that we could potentially go on here, Memes, is quite something. If we beat the Niners, it's all. I think we could start 5:00 now.

Monday night. Has the FBI reached out to you yet, Meems?

Not yet. Because only if he gets season-ending injury, then.

So you went from being super depressed, threatened to a bomb on your chest two days ago to now you're like, We're going to win that game.

If. I'm just saying if. Because the 49ers are really fucking good. And the Jets, I think they have six primetime games, but they also do start with an easier schedule. The bears start. We don't play a division game until week 10. We have some very winnable games in the first two months.

No primetime, though.

What do you mean?

Or no, I guess they have the-We're playing-london and-No, no.

Week 2, Sunday Night football against C. J. Strout in Texas.

Is there any other primetime, though? Yeah.

The bears have a Monday night football game against the Vikings, and they have London, and then Thursday night against the Seahawks and Lions, Thanksgiving Day. I did think we would get one or two more Monday night footballs.

Did the flex scheduling become more complicated this offseason? Because they put out the rules for which games can be flex. It felt like there were, I don't know, four or five different scenarios where it's like- I'm not sure. Weeks 6 through 10, you can do this. Weeks 11 through 17, you can do two of these unless one is taken earlier. It was very complicated to follow. But I think it's good that you have the opportunity if there is a big injury like there was last year with Aaron Rodgers. I would prefer not to have to watch the Jets in primetime all the time.

Yeah, I agree. The three of us play in a little round-robin. You don't play the Patriots, right?

I don't play the Patriots.

But you play the bears, and then two weeks later, the Patriots play the bears.

Yeah.

And then in terms of hardest schedules, it is... I had it right here. Hold on. It is the Steelers, the Patriots, the Browns, the Vikings, and the Ravens.

Yeah.

Fivehardest schedule.

So a lot of AFC North teams in that in the hardest schedule because they're all very good. The last nine weeks for the Steelers are absolutely brutal. Yeah. So the last nine weeks for the Steelers, the Commanders, the Ravens, the Browns, the the Bangers, the Browns, the Eagles, the Ravens, the Chiefs, the Bangles again. I just tossed the Commanders in there. It's really the last eight weeks. Last eight weeks are the hardest stretch by far.

This is the fun time where everyone goes through their schedule and they're like, Oh, this is a realistic thing. And guess what? All of it is going to be relevant by week two. Because every team that you think is going to be bad is going to be good, and every team that's going to be good is going to be bad, and there's going to be six QB injuries. But I've done I think four different times already in my head going through the bear schedule. So I'm not pooh-poohing it. Everyone should do this. Just remember that what you're doing is just an exercise to get you closer to football.

That's true. This is how we pass the time in the offseason. And the NFL is also using the Chiefs as They're a big experiment. They have the Chiefs playing on every night of the week except for Tuesday. Now we'll watch. And we'll watch it every single time.

That's what I'm saying. They step on our drugs, but they give us a little bit of the Chiefs.

A little bit of the Chiefs. And you've got the Swifties that are going to be signing up for all these streaming services. I'm pretty sure that most Swifties out there, they're well-acquainted with all the streaming services.

Yeah, and also everyone's going to tune in to see Harrison Bucker.

Yeah, Harrison Bucker. He's quite something. He's something. He's something else, that guy.

I don't know why anyone has not just had the take of he's their kicker. Who cares? Why are we listening to a kicker?

It was weird that he did that at a college commencement to be like, Hey, your most important role is actually going to be just being a homemaker, so you should do that. Also, just his whole vibe, I had never really gotten a good look at Harrison Bucker before. He looks exactly like the guy from the meme that just says yes all the time. You know the blonde hair guy? Yeah. That's him. I think he styled his own image He's crafted in the likeness of that guy because he appreciates what that guy stands for.

He also has got some weird, almost like he could be a Civil War general beard going.

Yeah. You remember that? Was it General Andrew Luck? Yes. General personal Harrison Bucker? Yeah. He's a kicker, but also slightly misogynistic.

If you're Benjamin Holmes, you have to be a little pissed here, right? Like, your kicker shouldn't be making headlines. Yep. That's just a fact. I agree. You should not have your kicker being in controversies whatsoever.

Do you think the 49ers kicker said something slightly less problematic, like 10 minutes before Harrison Bucker got on the stage?

Yeah, that would be great. But yeah, I never thought Harrison Bucker debates would be how we spend an entire week.

Also, just his name has butt in it. Yeah.

So that's fun. That's probably what he's overcompensating for.

Yeah.

Something there. I mean, the beard, the speech, the name, the kicker position. It feels like he's like, Hey, Harrison, it's okay, man. We're sure you're strong. It's okay. You can be confident in yourself.

Nothing says masculinity like a kicker who met his wife in middle school band practice.

It's Harrison Bucker.

It was funny, though. He did start to cry when he talked about meeting his wife in band. That's nice. Then she converted for him, which was cool. Honestly, they probably have a very happy marriage.

They're happy for him. Good for them. But yeah, you can let other people live their life how they want to live their life. And again, it was a kicker. Yeah, kicker. He's a really good kicker.

He's Mike Vanderjack all over again.

We don't need to take advice from kickers. No offense, kickers, but all offense to kickers.

Do you think you're going to have, again, back to the Swifties, They're going to be tuning in. They're rooting for the Chiefs. They're probably going to hate this fucking guy. He actually quoted Taylor Swift earlier in the commencement speech, which is if he did that on purpose, that's a very funny troll to do a Taylor Swift quote and then follow it up with all that. They're going to be rooting for the Chiefs, but also rooting for this guy to miss field goals.

Yeah, they might. Actually, the Swifties might try to get the Chiefs disbanded. Yeah. If you're a Chiefs fan, if you're a Taylor Swift, a recently made Chiefs fan who started as a Swift, you have a lot of questions. And honestly- A lot of looking in the mirror.

Because we do have a lot of Swifties that listen to the show. We've been pretty fair and balanced, I think, about talking about her. Really, if Travis does not demand a trade from the Chiefs, it tells you a lot about his personal values that he's willing to tolerate a teammate like that because terrible things happen when good people remain silent. And so far, I haven't heard anything from Travis Guelsey about this.

I'm going to say this right now. I I officially will never sign with the Kansas City Chiefs as long as Harrison Bucker is on the team.Wow.Yeah. Powerful. I don't care what they offer me, what contract. I'm not doing it.It's.

Very powerful.I refuse.

It's very powerful. You got to stand up for something. I'm standing up for the women. Stand up for something? I'm standing up for all the Swifties.

You'll fall for anything. Yeah.

People say we're misogynistic. I'm literally standing up. You know what?

He's standing up.

Do you see this? Do you see this? Hank, describe what you're looking at right I'm looking at a large man standing up, holding his arms out like Jesus Christ. Who else will stand up?

I'll stand up with you, Big Cat.

Let's go, PFT.

I'll stand up with you, Big Cat.

We're standing up for the Swifties right now. I'm pretty tired.

Yeah, that's understandable. Yeah, Okay, that's fine.

You don't have to stand up. Do you see they put the Chiefs in Buffalo the same week that Taylor Swift is performing in Toronto?

I did not see that. It's a two-hour drive away.

People are saying that was done on purpose.

Oh, wow.

The saying is a coincidence. That might be a bridge too far. If they did that on purpose, if we're bending the schedule around Taylor Swift, if that's actually something that's happening, that might be too far for me. Yeah.

But they said it's a coincidence.

We get accused of glazing a certain person a lot, but I'll say that we forgot to mention that his video was very funny as well.

Did you guys see it? Yeah, Josh, he went to the Pit. He went to the Pit.

The Pit's house. Lived in the Pit. The Pit is great. He had very good comedic timing.

The Pit knows all.

Where's the Pit?

Where they're building the new stadium. Oh. Yeah, he had a tent in there, and it was funny.

It's the Bill's equivalent of the Lighthouse, except it's much, much cooler. And it's an actual pit. It's basically Woodstock.

That's where they sacrifice someone before every game.

Correct. That's where people just... It's like a siren song that lures tailgaters from Bill's Mafia to just go down to the pit and check it out. Correct. Then that one guy went down there and shit all over himself. I like that.

Okay, let's get to our interviews. We got Randy Moss, and then we've got Pat Connaughton in studio. Also, apologies for the birds in the first five minutes of the Randy Moss interview. I think he was just doing the interview with a bird, but he wanted us to see Mystic Dan, and you'll get to see Mystic Dan, including some extra.

A little bonus. Yeah, but before that- One other thing with the schedule release. Did you see the hardcore porn that was on X last night in all the replies? Yeah, it's everywhere. I think it got turned up. No, I mean, you couldn't avoid it.

No, I know.

I saw a butt hole. Yeah. Butt hole was everywhere on Twitter last night. Teams were just trying to announce their schedule. You click on it, you see the replies, get the real down there. Then there's just a butt hole in your face. Yeah.credit to Roger Goodell.

Hank, I'm on it. It's been a while.

I mean, there was a butt hole. A lot of butt hole. If you see butt hole, you're going to notice butt hole.

That's a fact. Hank, you got that on the list? Mm-hmm. Okay. There was a lot of butt hole.

There was butt hole. Are you expecting us not to see the butt hole?

I saw it. I just didn't... That's just what Twitter is now. I didn't think twice about it.

There's nudes in profile. I get that. There's pussy in bio.

No, I feel like in some of the... When I go looking for like, Drake and Kendrick stuff, the shit that's in there.

People getting pounded. Yeah. Straight up pounded. Okay, let's get to our interview. We got Randy Moss, Pat Connaught in person before we get to Randy Moss. Coors Light. We love Coors Light. I could let bad sports news ruin my day or choose a chiller mindset in the reach for Coors Light. I choose chill. I choose Coors Light, the greatest beer ever created. When you embrace a chill mindset, it's a good time to choose chill and crack open a Coors Light. Coors Light's mountain cold refreshment, crisp and refreshing as a Colorado Rockies. When the mountains turn blue, it's as cold as the Rockies. Coors Light is cold, loggered, cold, filtered, and cold package for a smoother finish. We love Coors Light. Just think about it. It's getting hotter. It's summertime. That cooler sitting in your back porch, sitting at the beach, tailgating a concert. You open up that cooler, what do you see? You see Blue Mountains and the Silver Bullet. There's nothing better. It is the coldest beer in the world. We love Coors Light. It's the only beer that we drink. When you get worked up, choose chill, and then reach for a Coors Light.

Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart by going to coorslight. Com/take. Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Also, Coors Light Bottles. That's my A1 beer that I get at a bar. Coors Light Bottles, they're just the best. Having that bottle in your hand, knowing that it's the coldest beer out there. That's Coors Light. We love Coors Light, so thank you to Coors Light, the greatest beer ever created. Okay, here he is, Randy Moss. Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests in the entire world. It is Randy Moss. It's the truth. It's Randy Moss talking about preekness. To prove that you are one of our favorite guests, this week, I was in full-blown panic. I texted Randy on Tuesday to ask him what time works for and it came back as green. And I was like, Oh, no. He changed his phone. I don't know what has happened. I didn't hear from you for, I don't know, 24 hours, to the point that I was using my contacts to talk to your producers at NBC to make sure that you were okay. You just lost your phone.

That's all it was, right?

I left my phone on the rental car bus at BWI Airport. Someone put it in their pocket, and I tracked them all the way to Pleasanton, in California. I've got their address. I've got their name, but no luck. So I had to get a new phone. That's why you couldn't reach me.

Okay. Do you want us to roll up on them? Yeah, we can roll up.

Please do. Okay. I'll send you their address when we get off the air here.

Okay. So you're joining us from, it looks like the paddock right there behind where the horses are in Baltimore at the Preakness. Yes. We have a lot of questions. Should we start with the Secretariat stuff?

Well, yeah. No, we were just going to ask who your... I don't think we've ever asked you before who your goat is. Who's the goat in horse racing? Is it Manawar or is it Flight Line?

Look, it's impossible to say because comparing horses of different generations is so fraught with peril. All I can do is just say, All right, of the horses that I've seen in my lifetime, not necessarily in person, but Secretariat would be the goat. Would definitely be the goat. Flight Line, Spectacular Bid, there was other horses that had a tremendous amount of ability, American Pharoah, but Secretariat did so many things during his two-year career that he would be the goat.

Randy, is there a bird inside of your phone right now?

Okay, right behind me is the hedge.

That's where all the birds are. All right, we should walk away from there because it sounds like it's inside of your phone.

The yellow you see behind me right there is Mystic Dan Saddle town. Mystic Dan, the derby winner, is right back in there. This is the Freakness Barn.

Can we say- Can we say- Yeah, walk away from the hedges. But I know you did it for us because you wanted us to see Mystic Dan, but it sounds like a bird climbed into your phone.

Can we just say congratulations to Mystic Dan real quick?

Yeah. Okay, there you go. Wait, hang on. Let's say congratulations to Mystic Dan.

He's a good boy.

Give him a boop.

There he go.

There he is.

Hey, Mystic Dan.

Oh, that's a butt crack. Is that Mystic Dan?

Mystic Dan is showing a lot of ass.

I didn't know they had plumbers that worked at the Preakness.

That was a great five seconds It's a PMT history right there.

There you go.

Mystic Dan. That was something that you'd see in a reply to a schedule release on Twitter right there.

Yeah, that was great. All right, so to Secretariat.

All right.

He did steroids.

Okay, that's a firestorm of controversy here right now through Jason Kelsing, and then I weighed in as well. There's no way to know for a fact, right? Although, look, Steroids were rampant in thoroughbred racing. In the 1970s, I'm told. In the 1980s, I know. In the '90s, I know. In the 2000s, I know. All the way up until, let's say, Big in 2008. If you remember, huge controversy when Rick Dutro, the trainer of Big Brown, after winning the Kentucky Derby in the Preakness, was just asked point blank by a reporter. Because this was right in the middle of the baseball controversies, right? With Sammie Sosa, and Mark McGuire, and Barry Bonds. Does Big Brown, is he on steroids? And Rick Dutreau, being very honest, said, yes, he's on an anabolic steroids. Pretty much all the horses are on anabolic steroids, right? Back then, trainers believe that the therapeutic benefits of anabolic steroids outweighed any of the negatives. And they didn't really view anabolic steroids as that much of a performance enhancer. They viewed it as helping horses recover after races, recover after injuries, increasing their appetite, helping put on muscle mass, and all that. Look, Secretariat was running at a time where I'm told anabolic steroid use was rampant in thoroughbred racing.

When Secretariat was retired, he had some immature sperm that was a concern to breeders. That happens to be a side effect of anabolic steroid use. Does that mean he was definitely on steroids? No. When he died, they autopsied him. He had an enlarged heart, which, again, is a side effect, one of the side effects of anabolic steroids. So there is, I think, a pretty strong possibility that Secretariat was racing on anabolic steroids. But here's the deal. So were the other horses he was running against. If Secretariat was on anabolic steroids, you know Sham was. It wasn't just Lucian Laura and the trainer of Secretariat that had access to this stuff. He won the Triple Crown. He set track records in all three races that still stand, okay? And they held up through the '70s, through the '80s, through the '90s, through the 2000s, when anabolic steroids use was rampant. So it doesn't really... Might he have run a little faster with anabolic steroids? Yes. Does it taint his legacy in any way? To me, no, because he was an incredibly dominant racehorse against all competition. One of the most incredibly dominant racehorses in the history of the game at a time when pretty much all the horses were running on that stuff.

It's like Barry Bonds. The records will still stand. He was going up against some shady competition at the time, but he was far and away the best baseball player that I've ever seen. And so nothing should change that. I did make my four-year-old son Chris change his wallpaper on his iPhone. He had to take down Secretariat. I think I'm going to allow him to put it back up. We can forgive Secretariat if that's what he did because everybody else was doing at the same time. And in my eyes, it does not taint that accomplishment. So thank you for explaining that to us.

That was a very fair response.

I think it's a very, very fair response. Yeah. Because I was ready to go to war.

It's almost sacrilegious, right? People think to say anything that could be construed as negative about Secretariat. But you have to be honest about this stuff.

Yeah. The birds are back. Do you want to walk closer to the parking lot? The birds are back. Go to the parking lot. All right, let's talk Let's talk about this race. Let's talk about Mystic Dan. That was an incredible Kentucky Derby. Very, very thrilling. I'm an idiot. My name is Dan, and I should have bet Mystic Dan. You told us that if there was one horse that would surprise everyone as Mystic Dan, I do believe that if I bet Mystic Dan, he would have probably finished last. But how are we feeling about Mystic Dan now going to the preakness? Everyone wants to see a Triple Crown winner. Mouth, the favorite, Bob Baffert's horse is Out Fever. So what's the story with Mystic Dan? Is this horse legit have a chance at winning the Triple Crown? And is it quickly like, Hey, he won it as an 18 to one, but This is a real good horse.

Okay, look, he got what we call in horse racing a perfect trip in the Kentucky Derby. He was sitting on the rail all the way around. He got through on the inside at the top of the stretch. He ran a shorter distance than the competition. But he also had the acceleration, had the guts to go through a tight hole when the time came. A lot of horses get perfect trips, and they sit along the rail, and then a hole opens up, and they're not fast enough to get through the hole. Mystic Dan had that quick acceleration to shoot through that opening at the top of the stretch that Brian Hernández steered him through and open up a lead, and just barely hang Was he a better horse than Sierra Leone or Forever Young? Probably not. Almost certainly not, because they covered a lot more ground, and there was also a lot of bumping through the stretch that we can talk about if you want, because the Churchill Loun Stewards totally dropped the ball on that. So for those reasons, and plus, now he's got to come back in two weeks, which trainer Ken McPeek was not too good, not too enthusiastic about doing.

I think he's a bet against. He's going to be a shorter price than he should be because he won the Kentucky Derby. He got a perfect trip, which he's probably not going to get Saturday. He's coming back in two weeks. For all those reasons, would I be shocked to see him win? No. But from a betting standpoint, I think he's a bet against.

He ran the perfect race. It's unlikely that he'll have a perfect race that unfolds in front of him again. That makes total sense to me. So what about the bumping down the stretch that you talked about? What happened there?

Okay, we all knew, and we talked about this on the telecast several times. Sierra Leone, the horse that finished second in the derby, has a long-standing habit of veering to his left as he comes down the stretch. As you're watching the race, it would be to your right, to his left, as he's coming down the wire. He's done that in almost all his races. Tyler Gafleon knows it. Chad Brown, the trainer, knew it. And at the top of the stretch, he pulled up next to the Japanese horse, Forever Young, and he pretty much mugged Forever Young the entire length of the stretch. And then as they hit the wire in a three horse photo finish, the jockey of Sierra Leone, Tyler Gafleon, appeared to temporarily lose his balance with all the bumping and reached out and put his hand on the Japanese horse as the horses got to the wire. What happened in the run through the stretch with Sierra Leone repeatedly bumping and mugging Forever Young, look, that's an elementary school disqualification. When you reach out and you put your hand on another horse, that's an elementary school disqualification. When all this happens, do you put up the inquiry sign?

That's an elementary school decision. The stewards didn't, the Churchill Downs. They blew it badly on all three counts. And all I can say is that Churchill Downs, and it's 150th celebration, is incredibly reasonably lucky that Sierra Leone didn't win that race by a nose, because it would have been one of the biggest controversies in the history of the Kentucky Derby that the stewards left the number up and didn't disqualify it.

So what's the process?

They got lucky.

What's the process for that? Is there any accountability? Have people asked them about it? Why didn't you at least take another look at it?

There could be accountability with the Kentucky Horse Racing Commission if there was a challenge by the connections of the Japanese horse, which is unlikely to happen. I think it's a cultural thing. They feel like they're guests in this country. After the running of the race, the jockey of Forever Young, Sakai, who speaks no English, had a conversation with the other Japanese jockey in the race on TEO Password, who finished fifth, who does speak some English, as they were walking back to the jock's room about claiming foul. And at that point, the Japanese writer was told it's pretty much late. So it was a language barrier as much as anything as to why there wasn't a foul claim. But there didn't need to be a foul claim. The stewards can put the inquiry sign up, can see what's going on. And it was such a no-brainer decision And they just blew it. Completely blew it.

Yeah. Okay. Well, hopefully we don't have something similar.

And look, there was 75... I'm sorry to interrupt you. No, no. There was $75 million wagered on exactas, trifectas, and superfectas in the Kentucky Derby, in which the second and third place order of finish was paramount. It was a $500,000 difference, I believe, in purse money between the second and the third place finishers. So it was an expensive gaffe.

Maybe everyone just boxed it, and that's why there weren't people upset.

Yeah.

That could be the reason.

It seems like the Japanese trainers are being too polite. There's a lot of gamblers in America that aren't known for being super polite about that thing. Maybe class action lawsuit against the Kentucky Derby.

Well, I mean, look, they're extremely lucky. I don't know if it's just 150th anniversary karma or whatever. This is a mini-controversy because it doesn't involve the winner, Mystic Dan. You haven't read much about this in the media or anything like that. But trust me, if it was Sierra Leone that had crossed the wire two or three inches further ahead and won the race in a photo, it would be absolute chaos right now with the controversy.

So we talked about the photo finish and how electric the photo finish is, and we were like, What did they do before there was a photo finish? Big Cat brought up a good point, which is that he thinks that probably the photo finish was invented for a horse race. The photograph started just for sports racing or for horse racing for Gamblers. So before there was a photo finish, was there just one guy up in a stand with binoculars, and whatever he said, that would be the winner?

Three guys. Placing judges is what they're known as, and they still exist in thoroughbred racing for other purposes, generally. But if in the event that the photo finish camera malfunctions in some way, then it's the placing judges that will determine between the three of them. What the correct order of finish was. That's cool.

Fast eyes. Okay, so let's talk about the prequence. So you said bet against Mystic Dan. Who's the bet on? I had a question about one of the horses, Uncle heavy because Irad Ortiz got on them, and it's like I'm doing the Brian Windhorse. Why is Irad getting on a 20 to 1 horse? Is there something to be said there? So break it down for us.

All right. So we've established that, at least I think that Mystic Dan is going to be overbet, and so therefore, and for all the other reasons that he's a bet against. It's very evenly matched between Mystic Dan, Imagination, who's the other Bob Baffert remaining horse. Mouth got sick. He would have been the favorite in the race, and so he's not going to run. But Baffert still has Imagination, who'll probably set the pace. Catching Freedom ran fourth in the Kentucky Derby, but he also had a rail trip. He also had a very good inside trip. To me, the bet in the Preakness is a horse called Tuscan Gold, trained by Chad Brown. Right now, I believe he's eight to one in the program line. I think that's a little too generous. I don't think he's going to be eight to one. But he ran a really good third in the Louisiana Derby. And there's a pattern here with trainer Chad Brown, right? He had Sierra Leone, he had domestic product in the Kentucky Derby. Chad has hit upon a little system now over the last decade or so, where he takes horses that skip the Kentucky Derby, and he points instead for the preekness.

Cloud computing, followed that formula, won the preekness. Early voting, followed that formula, won the preekness. Last year, Blazing Sevens, who looked like there was no way he was good enough to win the Preakness, finished a really good, really strong second, barely beaten by National Treasure. So now Chad has this horse, Tuscan Gold, who was third in the Louisiana Derby. And immediately after that race, he said, This is my Prekness horse. This is the horse I'm pointing for for this year's Prekness. And on numbers, he's just as good as Mystic Dan, in my opinion. He's just as good as catching freedom and imagination, and he should be a higher price. I think that, to me, that's the best.

What about Uncle Heavy, though? I read on that.

Uncle Heavy, he deserves to be about 20 to 1. Okay. I mean, I read Ortiz is on him because it's really the only option he had to ride in the preakness. And if you have a chance, it's a horse race. I know anything can happen. I read, arguably, he's definitely one of the best two or three jockeys in America. So why not take a shot? He probably doesn't think he's got much of a chance to win, But at least he's in there.

Okay. I feel like we ask you this every time, but what's a long shot that we could have finishing second or third if we want to get spicy with it, with a trifecta or something?

Just steal, I think, would probably be the spiciest long shot in there. And look, he ran terribly in a Kentucky Derby. But leaving the starting gate, he got bounced around a lot at the start. His young jockey, Keith Asmison, stepped on the gas coming down the stretch the first time. The horse rushed up and was involved in a fairly swift early pace and then completely backed out. Wayne Lucas, the trainer, didn't like the ride, changing jockeys to Joel Rosario. He'll get a little bit more of a patient ride. If he runs the same way he did in his race before that, which was second to Mouth in the Arkansas Derby, then he would have a chance to hit the board at a pretty good price.

Okay. Now the Black-Eyed Susan on Friday, which everyone should watch. Randy be on the call. You nailed the Oaks. We should have started with that.

You gave us some bullets for the derby.

You absolutely nailed the Oaks. You also did Tell Us Mystic, Dan. You won all the AWL's money. No pressure, but Black Eyed Susan, and maybe any other races that you like that you've been circling.

All right. Black Eyed Susan, I like a Philly named Gun Song. She's not one of the top two favorites or so. There's a little bit of question about the mile and an eighth distance with her, and a little bit of a question the trader Mark Hennie does about the mile and an eighth for her. But if she runs one of her best races, she's the best horse in the field. And I think she could be 4:00 to 1:00, 9:00 to 2:00, so that's not a bad return on a Philly like Gunsong. And then on... That's Friday, obviously, in the Blackhide Susan. And then on... Hang on just a second, I dropped my paper. Then on Saturday, There we go. In the 11th race, it's a race called the Jim McKay Turf Sprint, five-eightss of a mile on the grass. There is a horse, the number eight horse in the race, and he's called Boats A Rock 'Em. Okay. Right now, He's 6:00 to 1:00 on the program line. I don't expect to get 6:00 to 1:00. Again, maybe 9:00 to 2:00, 4:00 to 1:00. But to me, on paper, he looks like the best horse in the race.

And if it rains like it's supposed to rain during the day, Saturday morning and some of the afternoon, he's proven that he can handle the turf horse that has a little bit of moisture in it. So there you go.

Wait, if it rains, is that not... That's in favor of Mystic Dan, right? Because this is his best.

If it's a muddy track, you're right, Big Cat. It would be a little bit of an advantage to Mystic Dan just because he has proven that he can handle it. But I still would be betting against it.

Yeah. And It would be if Mystic Dan somehow does pull this off, then we get a couple of weeks of everyone saying this is an asterisk because the Belmont is going to be a shorter distance, which I don't know if that's good or bad for horse racing. I don't know. I think any Triple Crown, obviously, any Triple Crown bid is good for horse racing, but it will be interesting if it happens.

Yeah, and it's a legitimate asterisk, and they didn't have to do it. Obviously, they're running the Belmont Steaks this year at Saratoga. The Belmont Park Oval is largest in America, largest dirt oval in America. It's a mile and a half, a mile and a half around. So it's very easy to run the Belmont Steaks at the mile and a half distance. At Saratoga, the oval is only a mile and eight around. So if they ran the Belmont at a mile and a half at Saratoga, they would have to start at midway around the stretch turn. They would have to start the race on a turn, which is not ideal. And that's the reason why instead, they're starting the race at the top of the stretch, and they're making it a mile and a quarter. But when Belmont Park was last under reconstruction in the 1960s, the Belmont Snakes was run at Aqueduct, which Like Saratoga, it's the same circumference, a mile and an eighth. They started the Belmont Steaks on the turn in those years to keep it at the mile and a half distance, and there were no problems. Look, I think Belmont Belmont Park, New York Racing Association, has been using the excuse of tradition as a reason not to change the spacing of the Triple Crown races, which is causing problems for the continuity of the series.

And now Here they are, completely turning tradition upside down and running the Belmont Steaks at a mile and a quarter instead of a mile and a half when they don't have to. It's interesting, and I think it's wrong.

At a different track, it's not the same. It's a different race. They're just putting the branding for the Belmont on Right.

I mean, it's still the Belmont Steaks, but it is at a different track by necessity. The distance, to me, is the big problem there, and I think it deserves to have an asterisk.

Randy, this is why we like you. You tell it like it is. Yeah. Don't sugarcoat it.

Give us the honest truth.

America's horse analyst.

Yeah. Okay, last question for you, Randy. It's a rowback question. Robackk. Com, promo code take 20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Well, I just want to say, I think that we I need to have you on in football season this year because you obviously cover the NFL as well. It's a mistake by us. It's too long to go a whole year without Randy Moss. So we will make sure that we do that this year. My last question, though, is can we see Mystic Dan's ass again?

Let's try. Let's see what we got here. You might get some birds chirping.

That's okay. Bring the bird back.

I would like to see this guy's ass again.

I could probably do better than showing you Mystic Dan's ass, although he's in the back of the stall right now. Let me see here. Let me get under here. All right, I'm going to turn this iPad it around. Okay. So you can get a nice shot of him.

You're walking around with an iPad?

Yeah, I am.

We've lost his phone. There's the saddle tail, right?

See that? Good. Oh, there he is. There he sees his ass, right? Hey, Dan. Oh, yeah.

There's his ass. Only one ass this time.

We had Mystic Dan's ass on. There we go. All right, well, go get him, Mystic Dan.

Congratulations, Mystic Dan. I hope it rains for you. I feel like somebody planted that bird right outside his area there, so he's not going to get a good night's sleep. It's like pulling a fire alarm the night before a playoff game.

Chad Brown brought those birds in and put them right outside of Mystic Dan's stall.

All right. Well, Randy, thanks so much. Everyone, tune in. See Randy on the telecast. We love having you on, and we'll do it in the football season. Don't lose your phone anymore. I got actually worried. I was actually worried. So don't lose your phone.

Well, thanks for your perseverance. I always love talking to you guys. So have a good weekend. All right.

See you, Randy.

See you, Randy. Randy Moss is brought to you by Proper 12. Here's Proper Springtime Pick, Proper 12 Irish apple. It's a delicious blend of Proper's award-winning Irish whiskey. It's got crisp, fresh notes of Irish apple. It's perfect neat or with a little ginger ale, there's no better springtime sip. You can pour the roar with Proper 12. Pick up a bottle. Try it for yourself. Original, rich and smooth, Proper 12 Irish whiskey, or try crisp and fresh Irish apple. It is smooth to the core. It was also brought to you by Viator. Hank and I went on a nice trip last summer. Viator. We got to plan another Hank. Let's look at that.

Yeah, let's get out in the lake.

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Do more with Viator. Now, here's Pat Connaughton.

Now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, recurring guest. It is NBA champion, Pat Connaughton. Does that ever get old, by the way, saying NBA? Because you have to be introduced as NBA champion. I know we had you on last time was right after you won. So it's been a couple of years. Does it get old?

No. I mean, the couple of years come and gets old. But the NBA champion title never gets old.

Yeah, you guys haven't been out of the first round since.

Yeah. Well, we get to the second round after. Yeah, that's right. And then the last two years, we haven't gotten out of the first. But we're planning on fixing that sooner rather than later.

Yeah. Speaking of the Championship, I think this is probably a good place to start because I just saw a very funny interview with Jeff Teague, and he was talking about the aftermath of winning the Championship and how he was like, Let's fucking go. Let's party. Let's go to Vegas. Gas up the jet. And then Yannis was like, I think I'm just going to go home to my family. And then everybody else was like, I guess we're just going to go home, too. And that was the end of the party.

He was the one who was going to pay for it?

Well, because you can't go to Vegas as the Bucks winning a ring, and everyone's It's going to be like, Where's Yannis? Yeah.

Everyone wants to know where Giannis is a lot of the time. But Jeff, I think he lived it up. We did get to go to Greece. So we did go to Greece with Giannis at the end of the summer. The thing that was interesting about that year was the Championship was July first. So it wasn't your typical... The next season was starting on time. So I think part of the reason it wasn't as climactic as Jeff wanted it to be was we only had six weeks before we were back in the swing of things. So guys wanted to spend some time with their family, and then we went over to Greece and celebrated a little bit over there as a team.

So you win the championship and then you party for what? Like 24 hours, 12 hours?

And then you're like, Okay, got to get my shots. Yeah.

Well, the parade wasn't for 36 hours. So I would say we at least got a solid 36 hours. That's good. Yeah, 100%.

We should have mentioned you have the new dad glow. Congratulations. Ten days old as the time of this taping. Are you scared? Are you ready? Yeah. No, I'm ready. Do you have the moment already where the kid comes home and you're like, Wait, no one gave me a manual for this? Yeah, I did.

That's a scary moment. Yeah, that's the scariest part. The drive home. I'd say the drive home is a scary part, but I'm excited. I think it's one of those things. The shock to me over the last 10 days has been when you wake up in the and you're like, Oh, he's still here. I have a bunch of little cousins and stuff, so I've been around babies my whole life. I have a lot of fun with it, but I always give him back. Now he's not going anywhere, which has been that surreal experience and that realization. He's been a blessing, and it's been something that Ryan and myself, we've enjoyed, and she's done a great job.

It's a little different than me having kids where I'm like, I hope these kids are... I hope they're smart. Because they're not going to be good athletes. Your fiancé is a professional athlete as well. So are you like, he's going to be so sick at every sport?

Yeah. Well, I mean, when he was literally born, I put a toy basketball, a toy, baseball, a toy, soccer, football in his little bassinet thing. And she looks him and she goes, Well, no pressure on the kid. And I said, No, I'm telling him he can choose whatever sport he wants. It's golf. We can throw a golf club in there.

Whatever it wants to be, as long as it's a professional athlete. It probably will be.

Yeah. No pressure, Yeah, exactly.

No, I think it's been... Someone had a great comment for it yesterday. It'll come to me, but it was basically like we collected our jeans and we just said, Here, let's create this baby that has a chance to continue the things that we've done in our lives.

You need to get Notre Dame to offer a scholarship right now. That's always the school being like, We're ready to offer this 10-day-old.

Yeah, I will say he's already gotten a Wisconsin scholarship. He has. Yeah.

One of the- We're bad in state recruiting right now, so we need that.

Yeah, I know. One of the Wisconsin mentors of mine has already said he has a full ride. He will be our starting quarterback in 2044. Okay, perfect.

Yeah. All right.

Let's keep him away from Marquette in terms of basketball.

Yes.

I mean, look, I'll get him an NIL deal. You want to sign him up right now?

Yeah. Has there- Does he drink coffee? Not yet. He drinks a lot of milk. Yeah. All right, we'll get a deal with the milk. He's got milk still around? Yeah. They used to have that.

We'll do I would imagine that having a newborn, you're doing a lot of googling. Is this normal? What do I do when this happens? Google is helping you raise your child.

Yeah, he's gotten the hiccups a lot. Google tells you the hiccups are a good thing. I refuse to believe they're a good thing because he doesn't look comfortable every time he gets the hiccups right after he eats.

Here's a tip that I learned about when my son was around the same age, 10 days, whatever, two weeks. Don't drain the baby.

In what way?

I was feeding him once when he was two weeks old, and he started puking, and I held him upside down. What are you doing? I was like, I don't know. I didn't want him to choke on it. He's just like, That's not what you do.

Hold him over the sink and just shake him a little bit.

There's a nanny camera of me literally holding him upside down, being like, Oh, shit. Trying to drain the baby.

He has started to get the hiccups and spit up right after he feeds. I've done the football hold with his head facing the ground. Just get it out of you real quick. I've gotten yelled at for it, too. They're like, No, you hold it straight up and you have them burp into the burp cloth. I'm like, Well, yeah, that makes sense now. You say it out loud. But at the time, I wasn't thinking that.

Our instincts are to treat it like your buddy in college who's had too many tequila shots.

Throw him over a chair, throw him down on his chair. Throw them down.

Hold your hair, bro. I got this.

Exactly. But we do have them in some Legends onesies.

Oh, nice. We got some legend. Styleish baby.

What?

Legends onesies.

Yeah, I'm going to need some more. He He spit up on a few of them, but he's already been in a few. He likes to get... He seems to sleep better in those onesies.

So the Scottie Schevler question, if you were playing in the NBA Finals and your baby was due, would you miss a game? Yeah, what was your plan?

Well, I will say- You guys did lose in the first round, though.

Yeah, thanks. I appreciate that. Are you a Bucs fan? No, I hate to box.

I have a very mean joke that I'm not going to say. I just want to say for the record that I'm not saying.

Tell to me. Pretend I was playing in the play.

I was going to say when you knew that you were going to have a baby around the NBA playoffs and you hired Doc Rivers, we were like, Yes.

Yeah.

That's a joke. I didn't say it.

He didn't say it. He didn't say it.

I didn't say it.

I love Doc. I'm a Doc guy, but I was also any coach guy. Anyone that's coaching me, I've been pretty good with.

But would you have left the game in the NBA channels for- Well, it would have been easier for me because there's seven of them.

There's seven games. That's true. Like Scottie Scheffler, there's only one Sunday at the Masters. You know what I mean? I've been told I can't miss the birth of my first child. Yeah.

By the way, that's That's a very smart answer. It's a hypothetical, so it's not happening. So yes, I definitely would love it.

Well, it's not happening, at least with this child. Hopefully, it'll happen in the future. Then it would mean we were out of the first round.

Yeah, that's true. I wish I'd miss the birth of my first child because I was sitting in the hospital all day, and I just started betting WMBA games, and I went like, 0 for 4. So he actually cost me money the day he was born.

He's still costing you money. Yeah, right. But he caused you money before he was actually in Earth.

Before he was actually on Earth, he cost me money. All right, so obviously, Maybe the season didn't go as planned. How was this year for you? Because this was, I feel like, the first year where you were heavy in the trade rumors. Was it weird having to deal with that? Being like, I don't know what's going to happen. The deadline comes and people are like, My name's getting floated around. How much does that affect playing on the court?

It didn't really affect it for me. I think for me, I understand how the business works. I understand from a GM's point of view, we only have so many guys that are tradable, whether it's contract-based or tradable guys in general. And I think as a GM is trying to make the team better for a playoff push, he's only got so many pieces to the puzzle that he can move. So being a part of those are inevitable And I knew that when I signed this extension. Once you get to a certain contract range, I think you become a potential tradable asset, depending how you're playing, depending how the team is doing, et cetera. And I know losing in the first round last year to the heat was going to spark some trade rumors, regardless of what happened and transpired this year. But being a positive guy and optimist, I try to look at it the other way. It means some other teams want me. Other teams want me to play for them. That's a good point. The running joke that I make now is you talk about Coach Popp. He's got a tree of coaches. Coach Bud's got a tree of coaches now.

Pat's got a network of coaches now that all the guys that are getting head jobs, Charles Lee, congratulations him. He was an assistant with us. Bud's back on the table. Taylor Jenkins was an assistant with us. We got a bunch of assistant coaches that have moved on to be head assistants in different places. So I'm hoping to have a job in the NBA.

Yeah, that's actually a really good spin zone where it's like all these guys who saw you win a title in five years, he can be like, But remember Pat?

He's a good piece. We can definitely work with him.

Yeah, he's a great locker room guy. Making sure the culture of our team continues to rise with some of these young guys we're trying to build around. I I can spin it with the best of them.

No, I think that's actually a realistic way to look at the NBA. Obviously, you want to be secure in your job. You want to lay down roots, and you want to just be one place for as long as possible. But the reality is in sports, chances are you're probably going to have to move teams at some point. So the earlier you start to understand that and accept it and embrace the possibility, I think that's healthier for you mentally if it does happen. It might not happen. You might be in Milwaukee for a while, and that'd be great.

But you got to plan for it, and you got to know it's possible, just like you said. If you accept the the ability of it, you're going to live a healthier lifestyle, in my opinion, in the NBA. You're not going to be worried about it. You're not going to be stressed about it. You're going to understand, look, it's basketball. Whether I got a Bucks uniform on, whether I got another team's uniform on, I'm still playing the same game. Now, I would like to play for the Bucks for as long as I can. It's fun playing alongside Yannis. It's fun playing alongside Dame, Chris, Bobby, the whole group that we have. Pat Bev, Brooklyn.

Do you subscribe to the podcast?

I subscribe to the pod, yeah.

Does everybody on the team subscribe?

I think when he first got there, he just took everyone's phone and he subscribed everybody just to make sure we 100% subscriber ratio in the locker room.

He did say when he showed up to the box, it got a little confusing when Doc would be like, Pat, and he would have to say, Are you talking about Black Pat or White Pat?

Yeah, he did say that. And so Doc started calling me M&M. That's perfect. Yeah. No, it was... Pat, he was great to me while I was there. You know what I mean? He's one of those guys, I think, when he's on your team, you enjoy having him and you put up with some of the antics that I think help gets him going. And he thinks more often times than not helps get the team going. Unfortunately, it didn't work out this year, but I have nothing bad to say about Pat Beverly.

Were you one of the guys who was like, Hey, Pat, stop throwing this ball under the stands?

No. Actually, if you look at me in the video, I'm looking to see what's happening, and right as I turn my head, I think towards him, the ball goes over my head, so I missed the whole thing. It's literally just perfect timing. As I look up and I start to look this way, the ball goes that way, and I'm like, And I never saw it.

Was there ever even a ball? We don't know. Yeah.

Listen, Listen, we love Pat Bav. He shouldn't have done that. But again, the guy was wearing a jersey with no T-shirt underneath, which if you do that, you're expecting to get in the game. You're hoping you show up to the stadium that night being like, if When a couple of guys get injured, Coach might just call my number.

Yeah, I think he was hoping Rick Carlyle was going to look down the bench. I think it was a Tyrese Halliburton jersey from the video I saw and thought, Hey, Tyrese getting to the game, but not you, Tyrese. We want this guy. He's a little stronger.

We're in Yeah, we're in the dream.

Exactly. He's a little stronger, and he might be able to play some post defense a little bit better. He gets to box somebody out.

Yeah, exactly.

But yeah, just face guard him.

We're going to run this Friday. I think the Celtics will probably finish their business with the Cavs between then and now. But we have a couple of other series. In terms of the teams you've played or the teams that are still left and playing them this year, who do you think is the best full team right now left in the playoffs?

Look, I grew up seven miles outside the city of Boston. As much as it now, I was a Celtics fan as a kid growing up, Paul Piers, Kevin Garnett, the whole thing. I've gotten to a place now where I enjoy beating the Celtics. But I do think unbiasedly, they have the best team left, at least in the East. When you talk about the West, I think the Denver-Munisota series has been incredible. Obviously, everyone knows no home team has won yet, but for Denver to go down 2-0 at home and come back and win two in Minnesota speaks a lot to the championship that they won last year and the culture that they have over there. But it also speaks a lot to what Minnesota has been able to do when everyone wrote them off a year or two ago when they made the trade for Rudy because they're doing great things, and they're showing that they have a future with the group that they have. Obviously, Antman is doing a tremendous job, and he's fun to watch. I think he's got a great way about him. I think he's got a great confidence to him that doesn't come off as arrogance.

He just speaks with his mind, but it's in a funny and jovial way, which I think is really fun to watch and really fun to root for.

Can you feel when you're on the court with Anthony Edwards that he's got more dog than everyone else?

Yeah, I think you can. I think the thing about him is he's got this competitiveness to him that I think a lot of NBA guys have, but he's able to do it in a way where he's still having fun. It's almost like a slap in your face. You're still having fun and you're beating or you're doing all these things that you're doing. You're not just fully locked in. He is locked in, but it doesn't look like he's always just fully locked in. He's smiling, he's having fun, he's talking his trash, and it gets him going. And I think at 22 years of age, wow.

Do you think you're ever going to compete in the Slam Dunk contest again?

I don't know. We'll see. I got to get my bounce back to a place where it needs to be. When you jump, heck, as long as I've jumped and you're 31 years old, There's some underlying injuries that come along with that that I got to get back to a healthy place. Now that I have, unfortunately, a longer offseason, I'm hoping to do that.

What are your prime ages in terms of jumping?

I got to say 18 to 28.

Okay, so 30 is... Well, Hank, he's not here right now. We'll have him show you his progress.

He's doing some jumping exercises?

He's trying to dunk. We made a bet with him. He's 30. I think it's like a 10 grand bet. He's got to dunk by the end of the year. He's got no chance.

So where did he start?

Nowhere.

Below the rim, and he's still below the rim.

Could he touch the net? Yeah.

He can touch the net.

He can touch the backboard. Yeah, he could touch the net.

Could he touch the backboard? Yeah, he can.

Yeah, he could touch the backboard.

Backboard on a high school room, backboard on an NBA rim. Two different types of backboards.

Wait, it's different?

Yeah. You never see where the backboard comes down on a high school room, it comes down lower than on an NBA rim.

So he's touching Mickey Mouse backwards.

Yeah. Well, I mean, if the backboard came down that low on an NBA rim, the guys would get knocked out during the game.

That's a good point. Anthony Edwards still does sometimes.

Yeah, exactly. But Griffin and Anthony Edwards, they still do that.

When he touches rim, how far away is he from that point? Because he hasn't touched rim yet.

So you got to get... Can he palm a basketball? No, probably not. If you can't palm it, you probably going to get to here.

If you can palm it, you can get to here. Tell him to come down here. Max, text Hank. We got to get him.

He said that his strategy is going to be to do like an alley-oop. That way, the ball isn't weighing him down when he's jumping.

That's a good strategy, but who's throwing the pass? That's a good question. Because Well, if you're throwing the pass, then you're incentivized to not throw a good pass. Correct. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, shit.

He started out, I'd say, nine inches away from the rim. Now he's down to maybe six, maybe five. He's made some progress. Okay, that's good. He's still not at the rim yet. Yeah.

It's going to go like this. Being a guy who was like, hell-bent on dunking since I was in sixth grade, and I was a short, chubby kid in sixth grade. If we had a photo of it, I wouldn't show you because of how short and chubby I was in sixth grade. I was fortunate to grow vertically instead of horizontally, seventh and eighth grade. And it is a process. You grab the net, great. You love it. Slap the backboard on all your layups, great, love it. Can grab the rim, not just touch it, but grab it, great. Dunk a tennis ball, dunk a volleyball, and then you try to be able to dunk a basketball.

How long did that process play out for? When you went from touching the rim to the- It took me two years.

When did you first dunk?

From touching the rim? Yeah. It took me a year. First dunked in eighth grade. Eighth grade. End of eighth grade.

Pat said the rim has to be here on your hand.

That's a problem.

Well, can you palm a basketball?

Kind of.

No.

Then it could be-I can palm a basketball standing still, but once I start moving, I couldn't palm it and run.

And your tactic is the alleyou.

Tactic is going to be alleyou, yeah. Maybe like the throw it up.

You need somebody to throw it right above the rim. Like, literally, you just drop it in.

Yeah, I was thinking like, throw it up to myself where you throw it super high and then just guide it down.

Yeah, that's going to be tough.

Wait, so you're going to throw it up in the air, and then as it's still in the air, you're going to run up to the hoop and then jump up and then dunk it in yourself?

I'm hoping he's going to let it bounce.

He's doing a very bad job right now. Oh, no. You can't pop a basketball.

Are you a lefty? It depends on the ball, yeah.

Oh, wow.

I just like to say I used to-I hope my son's a lefty.

My son, my first son's a lefty. So I've thought about that.

Can you train your son to be a lefty? If you just don't let them use right-hand ever.

So I've actually heard a story of that happening. So my dad is a lefty, but growing up, he was one of eight. When they would go out to play baseball, they didn't have a right fielder, so they made him bat righty. And he thinks he would have been better if they just let him bat lefty. That'd be natural. He can bat right. He plays golf right. He does everything. I think it's possible, but I don't know if you're able to reach your full potential if you force it upon.

Yeah, it's funny because it happens very naturally where it's All of a sudden, he's just holding shit with his left hand. You're like, Oh, shit. Then we're playing T-ball now. In the first practice, they tried to had him hit right. He couldn't do anything. I was like, Flip him around, and then he started hitting it.

It is wild. It's wild that the human body has a way they want to do things at that age.

Go ahead, Hank.

I'd just like to say, Pat, I'm happy your career panned out. I grew up in Massachusetts around the same time, and you were- Where'd you grow up? What was Situate? I forgot what the name of the magazine was. We played Situate.

Espn Rise.

It was like the free one that would be in the library, and you would be on the cover every single season. Baseball, basketball, baseball, basketball, baseball, basketball. I remember that. I feel like my whole high school.

The reason I remember that was they made me do a photoshoot, and you know, Massachusetts, it was right before basketball season. It's Thanksgiving outside, and they wanted to do that baseball, basketball theme. And I was on the baseball field with a basketball jersey on and a baseball pants, and it was freezing. I was like, We couldn't have just staged There wasn't a backdrop, a green screen back then. We could have done something.

That's such a funny photoshoot. It's like, This guy plays a lot of sports. Let's have him wear all of his shirt.

At once.

Oh, you don't believe that he plays all these sports? Look right here.

He's got them all on. I can just imagine Hank going home to his parents, and they've got these magazines out. They're like, Why can't you be more like that Pat Cohn?

No, it was in the library. You go to the library, and then you obviously weren't trying to do any work. You just pick up ESP RISE. It was like, this kid's going to be the greatest player of all time. He's on the cover every single fucking... Because they would do one a season or whatever. I remember I used to get heckled with I used to walk into high school gyms for a game my senior year, and they'd all have the magazine.

In the magazine, it would say Things You Like. I don't know if you remember Puppagino's. Puppagino was my spot. It's a chain back home. Tuesdays? Yeah, Buffalo Chicken Fingers or whatever it had. They'd all make fun of me for my interests. Run This Town was my favorite song at the time. They'd play it before and give me a... They had some good stuff. There was some cleverness.

I know you played baseball at Notre Dame as well. Has there ever been a moment where you're like, I would like to try go to a maybe spring training or something, or is that moment passed? I did it. Yeah, you did.

I got drafted out of high school, but went to school. It was like, I want to play both. Then I got drafted after my junior year at Notre Dame in the fourth round and went over that summer to play pro-baseball for the Aberdeen Iron Birds in the Orioles Farm system. The summer before, I played in the Cape, but I did it for that whole summer. Then went back to school. Part of the deal was, it's why fourth round is great, but I dropped because I told everybody before the draft, Hey, I want to go back to school. I want to finish my basketball career, and I only had half a semester left to graduate. And so they let me go back, and their exact quote was, Well, yeah, you won't get drafted in basketball, so go ahead, go back, and we'll see you at spring training the next year. I was like, Great. Thanks so much. And then I ended up getting drafted, and I haven't gone back yet.

Wait, so how did you do when you were in Good.

Yeah, I started. I was a starting pitcher. I was in short season A, which I think they did away with now. I think it's just low A and high A. I think I started five or six games that summer before I ended up having to go back because they make you go to extended spring training first, so it doesn't start until July. My ERA was right around two.

Oh, shit. So it was good. I mean, have you thought maybe when you retire from basketball, that would be a cool story?

Yeah, I mean, look- I'm going to try it again. If If the Pat Coaching Network doesn't come through and I get a few more jobs, then I've thought about going back potentially. That would be badass. As a pitcher, I feel like it gives me the best chance, right? I got to get my arm a little bit more back in shape. But from an athleticism standpoint, no disrespect to the pitchers, but I like to think I'm probably a little more athletic than most of the pitchers out there having played in the NBA.

Yeah, wait. So what was your fastball?

'98.

Yeah, maybe Adam Silver says, Hey, why don't you take a couple of years off? We're going to just say that you're retired. Go play Minor League baseball.

And then come back? I appreciate that. I think we should compare Anthony Edwards more to Michael Jordan than myself, but I know where you're going with that.

What can you throw right now? A regular warm-up, obviously, you haven't been training, but what do you think you could throw?

I think I could get it low '90s. I think so. This was actually a debate. You got to do this. This was a debate during the season. The strength and conditioning Department and the PT Department within the Bucks were talking, what do you think I could get it back up to if you gave me six months?

Okay, so Christian Jelich was in your slam dunk competition. Yes, he was. If he competes in the home run derby, you should throw pitches for him. Yes. That would be awesome. You should just throw gas.

We're not going to tell you why we need you to do this.

We just need Christian Jelich not to win the home run derby. Got it.

If Christian Yelich wins the home run derby, PFT and I have to eat each other's ass.

Holy shit. Who made that bet? We did. Did you get anything on the other end? No.

We're the dumbest people ever. What do you mean the other end? It was before he started hitting home runs. It was when he was still with the Marlins, and We had him on. It was like, what, six years ago? A great dude. He's been on a bunch. He's a good friend. He was like, Yeah, I can hit home runs. We're like, No, you can't, dude. I think it was right when there was a porn video out that he looked like a doppelganger for a dude who was eating ass in a porn video, and we brought it up to him.

And this was pre OnlyFans?

Pre OnlyFans. I think so, yeah. But it was a pretty out there rumor already. People had said, Is this Christian Yelish? He was aware of the fact that he looked like a guy in it.

So Very bad video. Explain this out loud.

Yeah, but if he's in the home run, that'd be so natural. Be like, You help me out in the slam dunk competition. I want to help you out in the home run.

Go 92, throw some curve balls.

And they throw pitches from in front of the mouth. Yeah. So my 92 might seem like 100. Yeah.

Wait, what other pitches did you have?

Basketball. So the thing, the reason, 98, I mean, nowadays isn't really that fast. Guys are throwing above 100. But the reason I was good in baseball was I had natural two-seam movement. So I had this down and out to a lefty movement on my foreseam fastball. And so I did a fastball, I had a curve ball, I had a splitter, and I had a change up. And my idol growing up was Pedro Martínez. So watching him pitch, I tried to basically throw the pitches he threw. He had a slider instead of a splitter. But the way he threw his circle change was with that exact foreseam grip. And so for me, my fastball did a little down and away. So when I did the foreseam circle change, it went way down and away. And that's what everybody from a scout standpoint, would drool over is this looks like a fastball. It's impossible to figure out the difference, and it moves away. Can you stop playing basketball? And I was like, I'm sorry. You got to do this.

I hope you're in the NBA for 6, 7, 8, whatever, however many more years you want to be in the NBA. But when you do retire, you need to at least try because it'll be such a cool time.

How long did Jamie Moyer pitch to?

He was like 44, maybe.

He was forever. Yeah. Look, we got time. I'm 31. I got, what, 13 years before That happens.

Yeah, you could do it. Are you still an Oriol? Do they still have your rights?

Still have my rights. So the Oriols have been great to me. Obviously, I went and I played pro-ball that summer. And when I didn't come back, they were basically like, Hey, we gave you a signing bonus. You didn't come back. So they went to the Commissioner, and they put me on what's called a reserved list. They were basically like, Hey, we want something for the signing bonus, aside from just the summer of pro baseball. Because basically what it was like, I went to play pro baseball and I retired, but I never retired. So my rights were paused right then and then.

So if you said, Hey, I want to be back, you'd get the money?

No, I already got the money.

Oh, you got all the money.

I already got all the money. But if I wanted to go back, they were like, I'm on that.

Because they paid you the money. Correct.

So I think it's still four or five years left, technically, if I went back for the Orials that they have my rights for.

What'd they pay you?

Like 400 grand.

That's pretty good. For a little extended spring.

It was before NIL. No big deal. It was before NIL.

Oh, so your senior year at Notre Dame, you were walking around with some cash. I had a little cash. That's all. Is that a violation?

No, because I did not go back and play baseball at Notre Dame.

Oh, that makes sense.

That's such a great loophole.

Well, it's a loophole if you're an incredible athlete. Everyone should try that.

I mean, this is something that SEC football could definitely do. Brian Kelly just has guys on his football team. He's like, Hey, I've got a good relationship with the Atlanta Braves. They're going to sign you for an offseason to be a baseball player. You're not going to have to play.

And then you're just going toNo show job.

$400,000 in no show job and come back.

Adding to the NIL. You guys should... Yeah, maybe you should take a commission on that.

That's a good idea. I'll talk to the guys at JMU about that.

Maybe we need... We should see if we can become an unaffiliated baseball team and sign guys that way.

Yeah, if there's no baseball being played ever.

Yeah.

What is that team? What is the bananas team? Savannah Bananas. Savannah Bananas, 100%.

Starts on- There's a lot of affiliated league. Yeah.

Independent ball. Yeah. No doubt. Okay. I'll build you the stadium, the real stuff I do. I'll build you a stadium.

You are a real estate mogul. Actually, last night, we were... Pat, Bev, and Ron were doing a live stream for the Mavs Thunder game, and I joined it for a little bit. I mentioned, I was like, Oh, Pat Connaughton is coming in. Ron said that When he was at a game, whatever it was, game two, maybe, against the Pacers, he was sitting next to a guy who was like, You see Pat Connaughton? He's my landlord. That's pretty weird. That you could just go to a Bucks game and be like, That's the guy I pay my rent check to? Yeah. How much real estate do you have?

Quite a bit. Really? Yeah, I got quite a bit. That's crazy. Our portfolio is probably right around 200, $250 million. We got probably 150, $150 investors, a lot of them professional athletes. The idea behind it is, hey, financial wealth or financial education. How do we make sure that guys, that 30 for 30 broke on ESPN? We want to try to make sure that doesn't For me, being a guy in the locker room, a guy that got his trust, and a guy that's doing it with his own money anyway, having them come in and understand how investing in real estate works and being able to tangibly see it and be able to do it a little bit differently where As the construction process is going on, I'm sending them updates of the job site so they see what their money has been doing. As a project gets finished and it gets obviously rented and stabilized and things like that, you're able to see, All right, this is where the money is coming from. This is how much it costs on a monthly basis. This is how much the rent we're coming in, and this is the net, and this is my return on investment.

Then obviously, as that happens, we get to invest into another one. It's been a lot of fun for me just getting guys involved and educating them at a high level on real estate investing Everything. Then I've had a lot of great mentors. To be honest, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that from a real estate standpoint. My dad was a general contractor, which is how I got into it. But they've done a great job of continuing to help me build and grow it. I got 19 employees. That's awesome. And 150 investors. And we're in four states with projects, and we're doing three.

All residential or commercial as well?

A mixture of both. Yeah, some mixed-use, some residential. We should do like anybody that comes on the show that wants some financial education or wants to real estate invest, we'll let them have their own little portion of the buildings we do.

Can I do a sidebar real quick?

Yeah, sidebar. And legends can also have it.

Yeah, legends can have it. Sidebar, sidebar. And this is... Pat shouldn't hear this. He's not listening. What he's doing in real estate is incredible, and it It sounds awesome. If it ended up being a Ponzi scheme and he stole everyone's money, this portion of the podcast is probably in being the documentary.

In the Court of Law, too. Yeah.

Okay, sidebar over.

Yeah, sidebar over.

That's awesome.

That's incredible. No Ponzi. Full transparency. In my head, I was like, We're going to be on Netflix. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Wait, why can't it be a success story?

No, it is.

But if you were extremely successful.

Yeah, right?

It's a great business. If you You're doing the exit at the right time.

Yeah, before people will know.

You're doing great. That's sick, though. Did you start just owning small units?

I started flipping one house.

One house? So you started out fixing toilets and shit?

Yeah, basically. I started out working on my dad's job sites. So prior to owning a house and flipping it, I was hauling lumber, sheetrock, cleaning dumpsters, doing all the stuff you don't want to do. One day, I cleaned a dumpster, and obviously, my dad taught me hard work, all that stuff. He was very adamant about how you clean the dumpster. You can't just throw stuff in it because then there's empty space. You got to pack it correctly because he doesn't want to have multiple dumpster runs that cost some money. I learned how to pack it the right way, and then I learned how to take two by fours or plywood and put them up on the sides. You could actually grow the dumpster and put more stuff in. I made the mistake of doing it with sheetrock the first time I did it. Anybody that knows sheetrock, once it gets to a certain point, it just goes. It just breaks. The guy that was driving the dumpster, my buddy and I did it, pulled out, took a right, and you just hear, and one of the sheetrock panels went and all that stuff from the dumpster flattened out, but it was off his job site.

It was now on the guy who was doing the dumpster run. It was his fault. But Joe and I helped him. Yeah, wait.

Let's just do dumpster talk real quick. How much does it piss you off if you have a site and people just randomly throw stuff in the dumpster? Because I do that all the time. If I see a dumpster, I'll be like, I need to just go back home, get some trash, throw it in the dumpster.

Yeah, we have cameras. When somebody does that, we then put a video of them up right next to the dumpster the next day, and it usually has them.

I might have to go up to Milwaukee and start just throwing shit.

It would be great content for the show.

I just drive around with a trash bag in my car Just in case I see a dumpster. Yeah, just in case I see a dumpster. Just to throw it in.

I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

Yeah, but no, but you're really nice. It's a gray area?

Yeah, it's a gray area. Kind of like a Ponzi scheme?

Yeah, right. Exactly. You don't really know. No one really knows.

In terms of crime in this country, I think throwing away trash in the dumpster is probably pretty Well, I was going to say, isn't it interesting that throwing away trash in a dumpster is a crime, but throwing it on the ground isn't technically a crime?

You shouldn't ever litter.

Let's make that clear. Well, I think littering is a crime. Is it for flitching a crime? Well, on highways and stuff, you definitely can get fines. But yeah, I love What would you say, Max?

Have you ever found any high school kids that put together a couple of trash bags of beer that go into your dumpster?

Oh, Max, anything specific? Well, I mean, me and Memes were just saying that was a classic move. That was a classic move when you were in high school. Yeah, or after a bachelor party and you're like, I don't know where the fuck to throw it. It's like, Oh, we saw a dumpster down the street. Let's just throw everything in there. Always put it in the random dumpster.

College kids. We see college kids do it for sure. Depending on where we're at.

Is it weird knowing when you're playing a game that there's probably hundreds of people in the stadium that are sending you lease checks? You're their landlord?

Yeah, I mean, not really. But it's a different-Yeah, that's very different. I don't think many professional athletes are collecting rent checks to the scale that we are.

If you take offense to the phrase rent-free, When someone's like, I'm rent-free in your head, you're like, Nobody's rent-free, buddy.

Yeah, I do, actually. I've said that to somebody. Somebody said, I'm living rent-free in your head, and I go, There is no free rent. We want to make sure our tenants love where they live. It's a fair price. Sometimes we're just below market to make them feel good. So that, obviously, a professional athlete owning units, there can be a lot of hate on the Twitter.

Yeah, I was going to say, if you ever had someone as you're going to the tunnel, they're like, Hey, Pat, my toilet hasn't worked for a week. You fucking send someone over.

Yeah, I've had somebody do that in an away arena, though. I know they weren't actually serious because I didn't own any units in that area.

All right, I need people to start doing that. Just start yelling like random like, Hey, my light's out. And you guys haven't done anything. I got a leak.

It's an infestation. I've got ants.

I will say we don't do our own property management as far as a liability standpoint. We don't do our own. We third-party that out, and we make sure we try to have the best property manager that we can have so that things get fixed on time, on task, and no one has any problems.

I I have a real estate development project for you. What do you got? Can I pitch you on this? Yeah, pitch me. All right. So it's like an amusement park, except it's just sports, right? So you've got the 17th hole at Sawgrass. That's part of it. That's like one section of it. You've got a baseball stadium that's the size and exact dimensions of like, Fenway Park, and then a pitching machine. So you can just go yard on that. And then you've got a football field and you've got a roster of guys, like 11 guys that you can be a quarterback and throw a countdown pass as to like, college athletes, things like that. You just bounce around. It's just an amusement park, but for sports. Are you in?

I love the idea. How does it make money?

People buy tickets, and then we charge a fuckload for some of this for concessions.

We'll go, too.

$15 a soda.

You can come see us.

Can we move Barstool headquarters there? Can it have its own- You have to pay us, though. That's not how rent works.

You guys are supposed to- You have to pay us an appearance.

No, it's like Trump. We're double-dipping.

Oh, both sides.

So where's the Ponzi scheme, really?

It's a real estate term. It's called Double Dip.

No, we put the Barstool Sports name on it like Trump does on the building here in Chicago. So everyone's like, It's the Barstool Sports thing. But we actually don't do anything. We just come up with the idea.

But wouldn't you want to participate?

Yeah, we get free admission. For a fee.

But we get a fee admission. Yeah, they can pay us to show up.

So he wants to get paid. You just want free admission.

On the first day, we just show up for free. And then every time after that, it's like, Will you please come take batting practice? Here's $5,000. How much? $5,000. A pitch.

A pitch? Yeah. What if you don't hit it?

Ten thousand.

No, I was going to say, if you miss, you should owe us five.

Yeah, that's true.

And I'll pitch to you.

That'll be part of the work to my comeback.

That's not bad. You could also set up gambling on how much contact each person is going to make. That's very true. If you step up, 95-mile-an-hour fastball, as we call that the pat, you step into the batter's box and you say, I think I'm going to make contact with more than four pitches. If you do, then you get your money back. If you don't, then you pay double.

So I will say this has been a topic in the two locker rooms that I've been a part of, Portland Trailblazers and Milwaukee. Do you think you could make contact if I pitched you?

No. No, I'm fairly confident that I wouldn't.

How many pitches do you think it would... Yeah, not even foul one-off.

I think you didn't foul. No, I don't think so.

You don't think so? No.

No, I haven't really swung a bat at anything above 60 miles an hour.

I guess if you gave me 100 pitches, I'd probably get a lucky one by just dumb luck timing it. But it wouldn't be any skill of I saw the ball and barreled it up. Yeah.

Okay. So I got a lot of teammates that think they can do it.

Get a hit?

Make contact.

Yeah. Well, actually, I've seen some... Oh, Matt. Oh, yeah. Give me 10 swings. I'm taking you deep.

Taking me deep? I never gave up a home run. Ten A-Bs.

You never gave up a home run?

Never given up a home run? In high school, I did. I never given up a home run since high school. Not in college in all three years, not in the pros.

But you got to understand, you're talking to the Matt Stairs of the CAA right there. Yeah. Max played at Hofstra. He was a pinch hitter. What was your stats? I hit three home runs. How many pinch hits?

45 at bats.

Wow.

That's a pretty good percentage for home runs. I will say, you know my secret sauce?

What?

I don't always throw it in the strike zone.

Oh, so now I'm at zero because I would be standing so far away.

So you're going to hit me. I'll be completely honest with you. There have been a few pitches. There have been a few pitches in my collegiate career that went behind a batter.

Okay, That would be terrible.

Yeah, and it wasn't on purpose. I didn't do it on purpose. I'm just wildly effective.

We got to do this, though.

We got to get max. We should 100%. See if we can get it. And you said 10 pitches?

Well, 10 A-Bs.

10 A-Bs is different than 10 pitches. A little different.

Well, I didn't know that zero home run since high school stat. He throwing it behind guys.

Am I allowed to throw other pitches?

I'll wear the fuck out of a pitch if you throw it, man.

That's good. That's what you're supposed to do. You take your base. Yeah, I also-Am I allowed to mix up the pitches? Yeah, of course.

Whatever you want. Of course. Yeah, real batter. As a pinch hitter, I was also second in my team hit by pitches. I love wearing pitches.

That's a savage stat. That's having a dog in you as a baseball player. That's what that is.

My favorite thing about His college career is that sometimes he would pinch hit and then he'd walk, and then go to first base, and they take him out and put a pinch run. That was his entire day.

That was the day. Good day at the office.

That's an unbelievable day at the office.

Actually, we held the University of Illinois in Chicago. Is it UIC, right? We held them to one run in two innings. Yeah. Like as a podcast.

Pft pitching, I was catching. We had the guys in the outfield. They played infield, so that helped. It was embarrassing for them, actually.

But it actually was a good motivator for them because they're a really good team.

Yeah, they had a good season since then.

So maybe we're just really good, actually.

I think PFT was pitching slow enough that they didn't know what to do. It felt like you hit that-Their timing was off because it took so long. Yeah, it was 60 miles an hour. It's like, All right, what is it?

Average, 68.5, yeah.

That's pretty good. You were throwing gas. It was cold that day.

It was really cold.

Oh, that's tough. That is tough. What is your best sport as a podcast?

I mean, it's probably average basketball, I would guess, because Hank and Big Cat aren't bad. I stink.

Does watching sports count as a sport? No. Okay.

Not in this instance.

Okay.

Like golf.

How are we at golf? Oh, yeah, golf, I guess. Although we suck at that, too.

We're not going to stink at every sport. We have basketball.

We're trying to do nine-hole scramble, and we're like, We'll go under par. Yeah.

No.

What course are you playing?

It was the easy one.

We suck. Was it a par three?

No, it wasn't a part three. We suck at everything. That's why we do what we do.

I would say we are very good at watching sports. Frisby golf.

Yeah, I'd say you're elite at watching sports.

Top 0.001%. 100%.

I'm actually nasty at frisby golf. I am. I don't know if that's a sport, Fralf. Shout out all the Fralfers out there. Basketball, yeah, I guess, but we're bad, but we could field the team.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have five. Memes is good. Yeah, we'd be okay. All right, so I got one last question. It's been awesome, Pat, having you come down here, and we do have to do a video of you striking Max out and maybe hitting him in the head. That'd be awesome. If he fucking beans you in the head. We'll have him sign all the liability. We don't care.

I did. I accidentally hit a kid in the head in high school, and the ball hit off his helmet and went into the air all the way back to me at the mount, and I caught it. I felt bad. All right.

So my last question, Roback question, robackquestion, robackk question, robackk. Com, promo code take, Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, robackk. Com, promo code take. I know the answer to this, but I'm still asking anyway. Last time you were on, Some good Yarnis stories how he's a superstar, but he's still putting in the work and a regular guy. Has any of that changed? Is he still the same guy where it's like, from our perspective, he just loves life, loves basketball, and still works like countless, countless hours. Is that still the same?

Yeah, 100 %. I mean, I would say the thing that I feel for Yarnis most is he works so hard because he wants to win so bad. He wants to help his team win so bad. In the last two years, he hasn't really been able to play in the playoffs. And I know, obviously, we are all fortunate to do what we do for a living and get paid handsomely for it. But you go through an '82 game season, and I think he played more games this year than he has in quite a few years in totality throughout that '82 games. And then you're not able to play in the playoffs. You get injured right before the players, you're not able to play. And now you can't be out there to help your team compete during the time in which you're preparing the entire year for. And you got to wait until next year, and you got to go through the whole thing again before you get another opportunity. And then the same thing happens again, and you're not able to compete. And you got to sit there and watch your team as we were unable to obviously help him have an opportunity to play.

And that was something I even said to him on the plane back from Indiana. I just said, Man, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry we weren't able to get you an opportunity to play in the play, because I know how much it means to you to win. I know how much work you put in. I know how much you care about your craft and about your teammates around you and the organization you play for in the city of Milwaukee. And we weren't able to get to a place where we were able to give you an opportunity to play in the play-off, which is know what you live for in the basketball sense.

Yeah. He's a great dude. He's a great guy. He seems like a fun guy. Actually, we had his back when he gave that postgame pressure, when he had bounce. Oh, I didn't. I think we did a couple of years ago. You might have. I think we said, Yeah, he's right.

Oh, yeah, that part.

You can still have a good season if you don't win a championship. It's still like, okay, only one team gets to do this. Not everyone. Yeah. I mean, look- It's a healthy perspective.

Yeah.

It's about the process. It's about the journey. It's about getting I think that's when he talks about things of that nature and talks about that press conference you're talking about, it's like, you can't be a failure if you're utilizing adversity, if you're utilizing failure to grow and be better about it the next year, in my opinion. You're not going to win a championship every single year. I don't know anybody that has. But when we're in a position to win a championship and we fall short of that goal, it can only be a failure if you don't utilize that experience to build upon it, in my opinion.

Yeah, I just want on the I'm pretty sure I called it Loser Talk because I know Bucks fans will be mad if I pretend I didn't.

If you pretend you didn't what?

Call it Loser Talk. I did. Got it. I think we said... I definitely said it was Loser Talk. Bucks fans are packers fan. I hate them all.

It's good perspective, but also some of the best athletes of all time have absolutely zero perspective on anything. That is very true. Like Tom braided. Tom braided has no perspective on anything. Yeah.

Michael Jordan probably doesn't have a great perspective. No perspective. But that's what makes them who they are.

Yeah. Yeah. And they're competitive. They're competitive dudes. They're winners. They've done a lot of winning in their career. My whole childhood in New England, our whole childhood, he left, was winning because of Tom.

Yeah. And the Celtics and the Bruins and the Yukon basketball and the Red Sox. Yeah, Yukon Basketball. Pretty good if you're just a New England sportsman.

Let me ask you a quick question before we get off. Do you guys think that the professional sports in Boston prevent the collegiate sports from from raising their level to national champions?

That's an interesting question because I think that in the south, especially, like college football, you get smaller towns or smaller cities, and their professional sports are College sports. That's where it is. There's probably some truth to that where- I think it's also just big schools are always going to have an advantage.

When you think about smaller schools in the Northeast first, like Big Ten or SEC, the amount of people that they draw from. I don't know.

Because I think the further Midwest you get, the further south you get, the colleges are, for the most part, not always, but they're located in towns where they pretty much run the entire city. The city is that college. In the northeast, everything is so jammed together that you're never going to have a college that's near New York City that is going to run New York City, that New York City is going to give them everything they want, that thing. You get bigger schools the further away from giant Metropolitan areas that you get, I think.

Andy Staples, our friend, did a study a couple of years ago where it was a map of obesity in America, and it was just basically where everyone's good at football. It was just like, there's just bigger people in the Midwest and the South, and then they're good at football. Wow. Yeah. So it made sense. You're just like, Oh, I guess this does make sense.

That's some good R&D, research and development. Oh, look at that. Yeah. All right, last question I got for you. You can use it or you cannot use it whenever this gets filmed.

Flip the interview on us.

Yeah, I'm going to flip it on you. It's a topic. It's relevant. I'm sure you guys have already talked about it, but which athletes have the best chance to translate to another professional sport?

I think it's golf. Excuse me. I think it's hockey to golf.

You think hockey players- Or baseball to golf?

Baseball to golf feels like hand-eye coordination.

Maybe a starting pitcher to golf because they get so much time off.

Yeah.

That's a good call.

The whole debate with the NFL, I don't think anyone in the NFL could play in the NBA right now just because I think people forget just how good NBA players are. Guys will shoot 30% from three, and they're like, They're a bum. It's like, watch them in a practice, they're going to miss. But yeah, hockey's out. No one can really play hockey unless you played it growing up. Actually, no, I know the answer. If the Bucs decided that they wanted to be the US men's national team in soccer, we'd win a World Cup.

You think so? Yeah, easy.

No problem. Pick any sport, they'd be our best soccer players, without a doubt. Give them four months.

No problem. I do think the football to basketball debate was fascinating to hear different people's perspectives on, because I think so many people associate athleticism with your measurable. We're here in Chicago right now, and the draft combine is going on. So many people associate athleticism with how fast can you run, how high can you jump, things of that nature. But I look at athleticism as, well, how coordinated are you? How able are you to play another sport? I think football players are the best athletes from a sheer run straight and jump high because of their explosiveness. But I think the coordination you need in basketball, coupled with the athleticism and putting it all together, gives us a chance to do other things. I don't know, I could be misspeaking here, but how many football players do you know that can hit a golf ball like Steph Curry?

Yeah, true. The coordination is out of control That's true. But yeah, I had your guys back on that one.

I appreciate you having our back. Maybe a racehorse competing in sprinting. That'd be an easy one. Yeah, that would be. That's true.

I think the hockey to golf is a pretty good one. Baseball to golf. I think those are pretty small.

Hockey to golf, same motion. Yeah, and hand-eye coordination. Also, I think, actually, a real answer would be if you were to take NBA All-Stars, give them a year of training, they would probably be the best volleyball team in the world.

That's true. That's a very good one. We'd also dominate handball, which will make the handball community upset. But we've done that.

That's a good call. Volleyball would be really good.

You get Wimby up front.

You made it seem like my soccer answer wasn't a real answer.

Big Cat's soccer answer was very real answer.

Very real answer.

My fiancée played soccer.

Yeah, she probably knows every- Kaitlyn Clarke would take her job in a second. Can you imagine Yannis and goal?

I don't know. She's pretty fast.

She is pretty fast. All right. Well, Pat, thank you as always, man. You're the best, and we definitely have to do a video of you striking out Max and beating him.

Yeah, I'm ready whenever. You guys let me know. I appreciate you having me on the show, as always.

Pat Connaughton was brought to you by Uber Eats. Basketball playoffs are here, and you can now get almost anything you need for game day delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a deep bench delivered, but you can get a deep dish pizza delivered, along with bread sticks and wings to share. A layup, no can do. But a logger, yes, they can do that. They can even deliver a few six-packs. If you plan on hosting the watch party, you want a three-quarter? Well, you're on your own. If you want a three-cheese dip, it's on its way. Buckets? Can't help you there. Bucket of chicken? We can help you with that one. A game going into OT, no. But a delivery of TP, yes, absolutely. No matter what you need to make it through the postseason, get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Check out all the best game day deals in the app. Order now at ubereats. Com. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.

Okay, let's finish up with Firefest of the Week. Hank.

Got anything for us, Hank? Hank. How are you doing, Hank?

I'm good. I'm rusted.

I can tell.

Yeah, Tuesday night.

Well, let's back up. Let's back up a little bit before Tuesday night because Tuesday-We'll start with Tuesday morning.

Woke up at 6:30, rise and grind. Worked out 8:00. Okay.

What did you do between 6:30 and 8:00?

I made a protein shake.

I don't think you actually woke up at 6:30.

My alarm went off at 6:30. Okay. I go alarm. I usually snooze it twice, try and get up before 7:00 because I need to get out of the door by 7:30, but I need time to eat and get something in my stomach.A.

Literal child.Yeah. What?

Just get up when you need to get up.

I do.

I like to snooze. How many times do you miss getting out by 7:30 a lot? No.

Okay. In 7:30, so I have 10 minutes to stretch and stuff. If I get out at 7:40, I'm still fine.

Got it. But it takes you an hour and a half. Or an hour, excuse me. It takes you a full hour between when you wake up and when you leave.

To get out of the house. No.

I leave at 7:30.

But you wake up at 6:30.

My alarm goes off. Did you not just hear my alarm goes off at 6:30.

But then he snooze. I snooze it Nice.

Try and get up before 7:00. Just get up when your alarm goes off. I get it. Snooze.

I am the worst procrastinator of all time. Physically, my body When I... The last second that I have to get up is when I get up. I can't do it. I just can't do it. It doesn't matter. It didn't matter in school. When I was in high school, I would wake up literally two minutes before either when my sister would drive me or when I would get a ride to school. I would wake up with one minute to go.

So fast forward a little bit. During the day on Tuesday, we're in the studio getting ready to record part of my take, and Hank is asleep on the couch. He's snoring a little bit.

No, no, no, no, no, I like that noise.

What did I say? What did I say that was wrong?

We recorded something, and then we took a break. We were like, All right, let's take 40 minutes, and then we'll do the rest of the show. I said to you, my trusted friend, colleague, brother-in-arm, I was like, I'm going to take a nap. I feel myself falling asleep. I'm going to take a quick nap. It's not like I just dozed off unexpectedly.

No, Hank, wait. I was saying that because- You were asleep. I have no problem with you falling asleep.

I told you what I was doing and why I was doing it.

Yeah, I have no problem with that.

But what happened was- We had 40 minutes.

I think announcing the nap means that you should be allowed to nap.

Yeah, I have no problem.

If you had an issue with it, you would have been like- No, zero problem with it.

Zero problem. But then you wake up from the nap and it's what you said and you were bragging about your nap. No. No, wait, wait, wait, Hank, because you're going to lie.

You're going to lie. I will say exactly the conversation.

Okay, what did you say when you woke up?

I woke up in my sleep. I thought I caught myself snoring. I heard a subconscious snore in my sleep, and I woke up. Paul Rable came I was just passed out. They started whispering. I was like, I'm up. Then after, I was like, PFT, do you hear me snore once? He's like, No, you snored for 20 minutes. Yeah, well, again- But I thought in my head, I was like, I thought I caught myself snoring and stopped myself from sleeping. It just wasn't true.

This is not where the issue is. You sleep all you want, announce a nap, go for a nap. If we're not recording, go for it. Snore, that's fine. But then you also bragged afterwards about how you got a quick 20 minutes in, and it's the perfect nap. If you get a 20-minute nap, that's all the human brain needs to sleep, and you won't be tired again for the rest of the day. You said you only need 20 minutes of sleep. That's good. Max said that.

No, you said that. I said, Yeah, 20 minutes is perfect. I didn't get 20 minutes. I only got 10.

Why were you woken up?

Paul Rable.

But Hank bragged about how he had 20 minutes of sleep. No. That's going to cover him for the rest of the day.

Yeah, PFT filmed me, posted it, which is just crazy. Again, once again, I thought this was a safe space sanctuary.

This is fake news because you woke up and I showed you the video before I posted it. I was like, Isn't this funny? You laughed and we laughed. I was like, Yeah, I wasn't going to post it while you were asleep, but I'm going to post now. You were like, Ha ha, that's cool.

There's no way.

I said, That's cool.

You were fine with it.

What was I supposed to say when you were like, You're my boss. I can't stop you. I'm not going to be a soft little bitch and be like, Don't post it. But it's more like an unspoken-You've turned yourself into quite the victim. An unspoken rule.

Okay. It's all good. All right, so you got the perfect amount of sleep.

I got 10 minutes. Ready for anything. I had gotten 20 minutes. It would have been the perfect amount of sleep, and I probably would have been still awake to this day. But then, and there's really no excuse. There's no victim. I was tired. I knew I was tired. The Timberwolves game was on. Started at 9:30. Ended up starting at 9:45. I stayed up. I was like, Don't lay on the couch. Don't sit on the couch. You're going to fall asleep. I have a little TV in in my kitchen, so I was sitting on just a kitchen table chair.

You fell asleep on a kitchen table chair?

Yes, because I was like, I'm going to fall asleep if I sit on the couch. And this is how I'll stay awake. How were you sitting? I made it to the fourth quarter and woke up.

Were you on the kitchen island?

No, I just woke up like this.

On an actual kitchen, a stool?

No, it was just a chair with a back. Okay, all right.

A regular chair. Yeah. Holy shit, you were tired.

But yeah, I woke up and I was I'm fighting myself. There is nothing worse than your sleeping subconscious, which, again, has more control over me than it should. But I convinced myself, and it never works as long as I've lived, just close your eyes for a minute.

Oh, yeah, no. No chance.

I was watching the game and I was like, Oh, commercial? All right, no. I'll just close my eyes for a minute. I turned my phone on high volume just in case I fall asleep. Even though I knew I should have known In hindsight, the second you say, I'll just close my eyes for a second, you're falling asleep.

Shit. If we called you, you might have picked up? Yeah. Oh, no.

But that's not us. That's not us. It's really our fault.

Yeah, what goes through your head when you do finally wake up?

I woke up. The fact that you guys didn't call me made me feel like it wasn't too bad. It wasn't. It was just one text. It was just ready to go, and then Hank, question mark. It wasn't a bunch of text and calls.

Well, for people who obviously this, but what we've been doing deliberately is we've been trying to do the majority of the show together, and then the last 10 minutes, just whatever game just happened. So it really wasn't huge.

And it was a good show. I did go to sleep. I was like, that was at least the show we did earlier was funny.

It was very funny. And there wasn't a boss One team you had to talk about.

But yeah, I did wake up and I was just, I mean, well, the Bruins. Oh, shit.

Fuck, I forgot about that. Hey, PFT, did you hear this one? Which one? Did you hear about this one? Hank slept through part of my take episode, but in his defense, it was at 12:30 in the morning that we were taping. It's not like he slept through one that was 11:30 in the morning.

That would have been bad. During a normal business day at work hours, that's a fireable offense. But you did it at night, which is fine, which is when most people sleep.

Are you just a sleep guy now?

No. You're a sleep guy. I did say, again, I would never make excuses. I take full blame, full responsibility.

You don't think I'm tired?

No. Yeah, of course.

I'm always tired.

Yeah, I don't know how you don't just doze off sometimes. The first incident, sleeping in too late, kickstarted my fitness documentary journey, which has me waking up early, which then forced me to be tired and sleep late. So I just got to find that middle ground. But you had a good excuse. But you had a good excuse.

The first time you slept in, right?

Yeah, I just was fucking wasted.

If Caleb never went to your house and said, Let's go out, you would have been no sleep, no I would have missed zero shows. Okay. What went through your head when you woke up?

I texted it.

Yeah, fuck.

Fuck. Then I assessed the situation. I was like, All right, my bad. Then I was awake and I was I wanted. I was close, but I was like, Don't be an asshole. I was close to tweeting Max and being like, Where's the pod? Because I was awake at that point. Shut up. I was awake for an hour, and I was refreshing the podcast because I wanted to listen to the damage because Max was like, just a light roasting, which could have meant I got roasted for 30 minutes. Correct. So I didn't know, but I didn't want to... When you're in that situation, you can't really push the envelope and try and get answers. You just have to wait for it to happen. So when he said, Just a light roasting, no big deal, I didn't know if he was actually a light roasting or actually they spent the first 45 minutes shitting on your life.

So what changes are we looking to make moving forward?

I don't I think he's a sleep guy. I think he's just a sleep guy. People come in and they're like, All right, you got the nerd, you got the sweaty Italian, you got the Commander's fan, you got the sleep guy.

Are you a sleep guy now?

He's a sleep guy. You got a sleep problem? You dig into sleep?

Yeah. I have people. I got to get better sleep. I think the snoring and the mouth breathing is bad. It doesn't create good sleep. It might be a medical problem. I need to get... Here's an idea. I did get some tape, some mouth tape.

Oh, nice.

But I need to make... For the podcast? I need to make the sleep that I get count more than it does.

Here's an idea. Sleep when you're dead.

That's a good idea.

Or just have a kid. You should have a kid so you don't fall asleep. I never sleep.

I have to be up at 6:45 every single morning, no matter what.

Yeah, not a bad idea. Me and you, rising grinders.

My kids get to sleep. That's the worst part about being a parent is that you don't sleep, but my kids sleep 12 hours a night. Fucking rocks for them. They just sleep. They still wake up and they're like, Let's go.

Yeah, I just can't let the... I apologize. It was a bad look on my part, but I just can't let the morning one happen.

There were a lot of people that said that was a really good show, especially the first 15 minutes of it. So that was good.

That's great. That's all I care about at the end of the day. That's true.

That's your team guy.

Content machine.PFT? So I was going to have a sleep-related Firefest as well, but I'm not going to do that because I think Hank just absolutely trumps me on that. My Firefest is that I think Blake is now officially off stairs. In his recovery, I have to carry him up and down steps.

The good news is you don't have a lot of stairs in your house.

I've got a lot of stairs in my house. And so he obviously can't put too much pressure on his elbows. He's just going outside to use the bathroom, back to his crate, basically. But he's gotten addicted now. He's learned that when he gets to the steps, he just stops and looks at me. And then Daddy comes in, scoops him up, takes him up and down the steps. The worst news is he's still growing, and so he's going to end up being probably like 120 pounds. That's a haul. But I feel like the habits that I'm teaching him right now, he's just going to retain those.

You're going to get stronger.

I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to get jacked up, probably be able to dunk with all that leg strength that I'm building up. But he's learned that if he just stops and looks at me, then I'm going to come over, pick him up, and he doesn't have to do stairs. I don't blame him because if there was a big, strong man that lived in my house that just picked me up and carried me up and down the steps, I'm all in on that. I'm like, Yeah, I'm not going back to using my legs like a sucker. I think that for probably, at least, it's going to be a tough habit to break. Probably next six months to a year, I'm just going to be Blake's elevator, which is tough.

That's okay, though.

What about those ramp things?

Oh, like the ones that old ladies use? Get them a and then hit the button and it's like the Booger mobile, but for steps. That's not a bad idea. I might do that.

Be the alpha in your house.

Yeah, you need me to take you up and down these steps, don't you?

I got it. That's my firefest as well. I have two. One is I'm back on hair dye.

Oh, you are?

Yeah. I got my hair cut yesterday, and I looked like Pauley Walnut.

It could be worse. It could be Nicki Smokes.

I still have my hair.

Did you dye it up?

Yeah, I did. I got to probably do another paint job. Just a side. It's these sides. It's crazy how white I am now.

You should do the Pauley Walnut's actual hair dye, just the silver wings. It looks sick.

Yeah, maybe. That would look sick. Maybe for Mount Rushmore season, when we do bets, maybe it's personal bets, and I could do that because that would look ridiculous. It would look awesome. If we threw soul patches out there, and I did that for two weeks, I'd consider doing it. That would look awesome. You know what?

I'll throw my hair in, too. If I lose my rush for a season, I'll get a perm.

Okay, that's a good idea. But my other one is, speaking of being the alpha in your household, I've now gotten to the point where my son is like, You're really strong. He says that to me. He's like, You're really strong. You're really strong. I'm like, Yeah, I know. I pick him up and he's really strong. So last night I was carrying him to bed. He's like, You're really strong. I was like, I'm the strongest in this house. He's like, You're not stronger than a monster. And I was like, Fuck.

That's a good point.

And then, so I could deal with that. Monster, fine. I want to go, I want to go head to head against a monster? That's fine. He then said, Well, and he named a kid in his class, and he's like, His dad's stronger than you. And I was like, and I know who he's talking about because I've met this guy's dad. He is probably four inches taller than me. He's a big guy. But I was like, What the fuck? He just said that another kid's dad is stronger than me?

You got to fight that guy.

I don't know what I got to do, but that was the most I got to do some feats of strength in front of my kids. I need to just maybe bring a barbell into the kitchen and be like, You guys want to keep talking shit? I'll fucking show you.

I think you got to punch this guy in the face. I mean, he's a really nice guy.

I met him. He is taller than me. But to just blatantly just say, Oh, yeah, X's dad is stronger than you in my own house. That cut me deep. It's very funny to think that your kid's going to school, and then he's going up to other kids be like, Your dad could beat up my dad. Yeah, that's what's happening. Yeah, that's tough. I don't know what I got to do, but I got to figure out something because I got to show that I'm the strongest.

Maybe Ruff and rowdy. Who could you beat up here?

This guy, this other five-year-old's dad.

Challenge him to Ruff and Routy. Yeah. I think that's the only way out of this.

He'd be the most confusing Ruff and Routy ever.

The drummer that fills in for Franky sometimes, Dom with Pup Punk, by the way, tickets on sale, May 31st, Chicago. Love that. Joe I'm going to weed. The guy that fills in for him, he's a bully Thai fighter. He just started, and he brought his son to his first organized fight. That's got to be weird to have your son in the audience watching his dad fight, and his son's four years old.

Oh, what if I staged a fight? That's what I need to do. I need to stage a fight and beat the fuck out of Max.

Yeah.

Okay. All right, we'll do that. I'm going to stage a fight and just be like, Look how strong I am. I beat the How the fuck out of this guy.

Have Max try to break into your house to steal your cheese, and then you just pummel him. Yeah. Then you make him puke, and then he poops everywhere.

This is good. All right, I got some solutions. Jake, you want to finish this off? Yeah, I'll finish this off. I've just been farting a lot recently. Oh, no. Gross. It's been extra gassy.

I don't know what it is.

I haven't really ate anything out of the ordinary, but it's been extra gassy.

Jake, farch. That's what they're calling you. Yeah.

Farts are fun.

Yeah, but okay, I want to say this in a respectful way.

Say whatever Whatever you want. Think about how to say it respectfully. Jake, I also mean no disrespect. A lot of people think that their farts smell good. You strike me as a guy that thinks his own farts are bad. Yeah.

I agree.

You're like, Ewe. You don't like your own farts?

I mean, I'm not scared of them.

If you're by yourself in your apartment and you got a lethal fart, that excites me.

Oh, yeah. The little sniff?

The ones that hit right after you fart, you get the smell instantly. Oh, dude, they go right away.

You stink up your own car and you're like, this fucking rocks.

Yeah, a lot of people save their farts for their car because they don't want to fart in public wherever they're at. I save my farts for my car because I like farting in my car.

You put the heat on. Yeah. Just get a hot box yourself. All right, you know what? I'm not going to say the disrespectful. Just say it. I don't care. I was going to say, I put you in the category of chicks. You shouldn't fart.

Jake doesn't put-Yeah, but you know my digestive issues.

I understand, but something about you farting just bothers me. But, Jake, you know what? It's not a you problem. It's a me That's fine. So I apologize.

Nice little toot.

Yeah, right. I feel like when you fart, you say, Oops. No, I have some potential.

But you know what, Jake? The most noble thing that you can choose to do is to be a homemaker of a podcast, and I'm glad that you're filling that role. Yes. That's really valuable. So thank you. Thank you.

Oh, man. So what have you been doing? You just been eating like shit? No, I've just been... Jake, that's also because you eat well. So I guess also when you eat super clean, it actually gets worse, right? Yeah. Okay, good show, boys. Let's do some numbers. Max is out, so I will do 20.

8.

46.

18.

3. 99, Pug. 21. Pug, by the way, three and oh, the Pugs.

The Pugs.

Pugs are a wagon, but we got the best teams coming up. Oh, no.

Do we have to have a conversation about Mr. Per?

Oh, he sucks.

Mr. Per is ice cold.

He sucks. And guess what?

Honestly, it was the AI. Memes, it was the AI. I don't think he's one since.

And memes also, I don't know what It is. It's like he's never watched sports before. He starts bragging about Mr. Per. There was a game. What was it? Maybe it was game four. The Mavs were up 10 in the first quarter, and he's like, See Mr. Per? It's like, Dude, it's the NBA. It's a 10-point lead in the first quarter. I don't blame Mr. Per.

I blame memes.

I blame memes. 100% of the blame is on memes.

You're spoiling him.

Memes? Max touched him. Oh, okay. All right.

Okay, that's fair. I'll take that.

All right. What are the numbers again? Everyone, say it again.

20, 8, 3, 46, 21.

If I got 20, Max would not believe us, right?

You won't believe it.

Oh, 19.

Love you guys.

I'm talking away. I don't know what to say. I'm saying it anyway. Today's the end of my day, to find you shying away. I'm coming for your love of deep day. Come on, me. Needless to say, I thought to say it, it's about me.

I thought to say it, it's about me.