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Celebrate responsibly. 2024, Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado on today's part of my take, we have the finale of part of my take of camp. And we've got two great interviews for the people. We have our good friend Will Compton, sober this time to talk a little football, get us excited for college football, some funny stories from his NFL days. And then we have comedian Sam Morell, our friend who was on a year ago, pretty much a year ago today. Uh, back in studio, we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of orange things. It's getting tight. We have four Mount Rushmores left. Uh, we're gonna maybe do a. We're gonna start the show, maybe reading some headlines. Cause there's not a lot going on. And we've also been at camp. And then we are going to do Fyre fest of the week, which you will not want to miss. Uh, it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings.

I'm gonna put a must listen on.

Must listen? Yeah, must listen. Draftkings. Been hungry for some college football. Well, we finally get a taste this weekend. Don't miss any of the action. Jump in at DraftKings sportsbook. It's a small but mighty slate of games for week zero, including a big matchup in Ireland, Florida State, and Georgia Tech. Kicking off the college football season, it's super easy for first timers to get started. Try betting on something simple like picking a team to win. Go to the draftking sports per cap. Select your team, place your first bet. This is going to be Draftkings biggest college football season to date. Enjoy the ride now all the way through the expanded playoffs. And for all the newbies out there getting into the college spirit, here's something extra special. New draftking customers bet $5 to get 200 and bonus bets instantly. We're also going to do our national champion, Heisman and conference champion one pick each when we do the show today. So score big with draftkings all college football season. Download the Draftkings sportsbook app now. Use code take. That's code take for new customers. Get dollar 200 in bonus bets when you bet just dollar five only on draftkings, the crown is yours.

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Okay, let's go now. In the streets, there is violence and not a lot of work to be done. No place to hang out or washing. And then I can't blame all on the south oh, no, we gonna rock down. Welcome to pardon my take, presented by Draftkings. Score big with Draftkings all college football season. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now. Use code take. That's code take for new customers. Get 200 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 only on draftkings, the crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 23, and boys, I am the sorest man alive.

Yeah, football's back, too.

Football is back.

But, yeah, very, very sore this morning. Every part of my body, really. We were in the water yesterday. And when you swim, you use muscles that you don't know that you have. And yeah, my back is sore, arms are sore, shoulders are sore. My soul is sore.

I wanted to do. I was talking to our good friend Rudy, who works with us, and I was like, I'm so sore. And he's like, I'm sorer than you. And I thought in my head, we should. Next year, when we come to camp, the last day, we should do a sore relay race that is just simply, like, picking things up off the ground, sitting in a chair, getting out of the chair, like, reaching in the backseat for something.

I think that the getting out of the chair, it shouldn't be, like, timed. It should be judged on marriage. So, like, the noise that you make when you get up.

Belly flop.

How many parts of your body crack, right.

It's the belly flop. You have three judges. Watch you get out of a chair and how, like, you know, like, the sounds, the angles, maybe, you know, touch your toes. The sore. The sore relay race would play and.

Absolutely no stretching beforehand. So it's just pure 100% your body at that time. My body now, when I stand up, it. It makes cracks in places that aren't joints. I don't know what's going on.

I think I have a. I think I've had, like, a sprained or a broken thumb for about three weeks now.

Yeah.

But it's one of those things where I don't know what it. When it happened, so I can't see a doctor because they'll be like, what? Why is your thumb hurt? And I think my best guess would be playing video games.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't. That's the only time I probably would have injured it. Yeah.

Can you get carpal tunnel in places that aren't your wrist? I think my body has just gross carpal tunnel.

Yeah.

So I think as a podcast, how we could beat pretty much any other podcast. And swimming relay.

Are you sure about that?

If.

As long as we showed some impressive skills. What if you back?

Would it matter? Would it matter, though? I freestyle about going straight.

That would probably matter.

Yeah. Like, maybe. Maybe if we had an app where it's distance covered. So if you veer off kind of like you did Hank, like three times in a row. Yeah.

No, you looked like Pat Mahomes senior trying to drive.

Yeah, you. You were. You were a blind person in the. In the. In the water.

Well, yeah, I couldn't see.

Yeah. But it was. It was quite something. But, yeah, we're. We're water or water podcast. Maybe we should get more into the Olympics next four years from now.

Water dogs.

Yeah. We are the water dogs who have been eliminated. They were the first team already stink. They got like three weeks ago, dude.

We got to figure out what's going on there.

We won a game after we got eliminated, and our social team was like, look at this. We good to finally get a win. So, like, yeah, that could have used that a month ago.

It was. It was an embarrassment of a season as owners. We don't tolerate that. We don't like losing. If me and big cat cared enough to be at the games, we would be like Arthur Blank and we'd be down on the sidelines standing behind the coaches glaring at him.

Yes. So should we do some reads, read some headlines? Cause we have been at summer camp, by the way. Thank you. Thank you to Mountain Dew, our wonderful sponsor. Mountain Dew's the best we got off our ass this weekend with Mountain Dew, the code red, the Baja blast, the original. I've been drinking the original nonstop. Such a delicious drink. So Mountain Dew has. This is one of those things where if you like seeing us do fun things and we can create fun content that's a little different, please support our sponsors. Sponsors Mountain Dew. And Mountain Dew is the best.

We've got a great, great video that's gonna come up. I don't know when it's gonna be out. We haven't even taped it yet, but Huey is going to learn how to swim.

Yes. Hughie famously, when we asked him if he could swim before surfing in the Pacific Ocean, said, I kind of can swim.

I think I can swim.

He said, I think I can swim. I haven't swim in seven or eight years, but I think I can swim.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We know Hughie's not a witch, because he's gonna sink.

Yes. Okay, quick, read a headline. So we have. We do have football tonight or Thursday night, but no one's playing. Any of your guys starters playing?

It's disrespectful to Lindenwood. Are you talking about college?

No, I'm talking about NFL, because we.

Do have college football, actual college football tonight. Missouri, NC State, Kansas, Utah, playing tonight.

You're just off by an entire week.

Am I? Yes. God damn it.

Couldn't even be further off by a tight.

That's close, though.

God damn, you're close. Week zero is Saturday.

Yeah, I know. Week zero, Saturday. I thought we might get an appetite on Thursday.

No, that's week one.

All right. No, no stars are playing tonight. No starters playing tonight. There's actually, like, an interesting thing, though, about the. The Bears Chiefs game. You know, no starters are playing, I think, on either side.

Right.

But the way that it's set up right now with tv rights in Kansas City, you can't watch the game. You can't stream it. You can't watch it. If you have cable, you can't watch it on, like, the local channel. The only way you can watch the game in Kansas City is if you have a tv with the bunny ear antennas.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say the only way you can watch the game is if you have a family member playing on the second or third team of the Chiefs.

Yeah, that's another way that you can.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's. You can definitely do it that way, but, yeah, I just wonder if there's anybody in Kansas City that's like we were for hard knocks. That's gonna be like, I've kept my bunny ears this whole time, just for a moment like this. Fuck you guys. I get to watch week three of the preseason.

Yeah. Week three of the preseason. What a. I mean, it used to mean something. Used to be starters all the way through the third quarter.

Yeah.

It was a dress rehearsal back in our day. Okay, so there's no college football tonight.

No college football.

I was sure that was a test.

Yeah.

For everyone out there. I hope. Hope no one failed that. Also. It would have been a funny test because this, after those games had aired, if you were correct.

Yeah.

You missed out, so you were double. Okay, you guys want to read the headlines real quick? Yeah. Okay. Sources. Forens suspended for QB recruiting. So Kirk France is out for the week one game against Illinois State. I. This is just a funny story to me because the fact that, like, he got in trouble for recruiting and it's Iowa.

Yeah.

Is very funny.

That is very funny to me. He got. He got suspended for doing such a bad job of cheating.

Yeah. I hope it was recruiting for a punter. Yeah, I hope he went, like a, you know, all expense paid trip to. He did like, a vacation in Australia on the state of Iowa's dime.

He stayed over at a punter's house.

Yeah.

Like Harbaugh.

Right.

So if he was suspended for QB recruiting. So I guess he was trying to. Was there one specific guy he was going after?

I don't know. I can. I can look up the story real quick. We can go even deeper than a headline. Here we go.

Iowa coach Kirk Ference and assistant John. But a mayor, Buddha mayor, will be suspended one game for violation related to the recruitment of transfer quarterback Cade McNamara.

He was on Michigan, and then he obviously got hurt last year. He's going to be the starter this year, so he must have. He must have been tampering, maybe. He must have been tampering during that season. Okay. That's a good story. New NW Sl. CBA drops draft increases salaries, so they're.

Going to try out the Mike Florio rule.

Love that.

Which is what happens if there's no draft and it's just the free market.

I think that's a good idea.

Pure capitalism.

Yeah, just. Yeah, let's do it. I'm in for this.

What are the richest teams. Who are the richest owners that are going to benefit from this? Probably Los Angeles doesn't. LeBron, Serena, aren't they involved there?

Yep. I would say, like, maybe the spirit, the Gotham, the red Stars without rain, the Royals, all of the racing loot. Lou. Louisville Fc's. I'm just naming these off the top of my head.

Yeah. I think the best way to treat this is just to say LeBron has ruined women's soccer.

Yep. That's, that sounds like a good path forward. Okay. Yanks back judge after criticism from Little League World Series coach. So there was, there was a story. This is where we're at in the sports calendar right before football is the deadest time. I actually think as much as we think July might be the deadest time, we usually have, like, some, some soccer tournaments going on.

We have baseball, Olympics.

Yeah. All star game. This might be the deadest week of the year. Right before we get to, like, the busy time. This is the fourth headline on ESPN right now.

This week is so dead that I mentally fast forward an entire week.

Yeah. Yeah, you did.

Yeah.

Next week, just erase it. So there was a, there was a controversy that I guess I. Aaron Judge big leagued, the South Shore little league coach, Bob La Turza. I think this is the staten island team. And then everyone was like, no, he didn't big league them. So, yeah. He said, let her said, how about turning around or waving to New York? And the kids that think you're a hero, they're the ones who pay your salary. Fact, the kids pay his salary also.

Wait, literally, he is big league them. They're the little league. Yes. Aaron Judge plays in the major leagues.

Yes. And then the Yankees had to release a statement, said, aaron Judge always acts with kindness and respect. The coach could learn a lot from him. I love that. Yeah. This is a great battle.

Anytime you can work, you could learn a lot from somebody into a sentence. It's, it's always, you win that argument.

Yeah. Yeah. Aaron Boone said, not even going to dignify Latours comments with the response. Aaron judges as good as it gets. That's literally, you responded.

But on the other hand, I would like, I would like Aaron Boone to show some of this fire that the little league coach shows.

Yeah.

Like the little league coach, he, he goes on the attack against people. It feels like Aaron Boone's always playing defense for his guys.

Yeah. He said, judge said, I got no response for that. I'm not going to give him response because it's about the kids. Again, this is a response. This is what it's all about. We got a chance to spend a lot of time with quite a few kids in Williamsport. Make some great memories. Had a great time in the game, you know, besides the loss. So I kind of want that to be the focus. This is. I hope this keeps going on. Letters has got to fire back.

Yeah. I mean, right now it sounds like Aaron Boone. Big league him.

Yeah. Let's. You need your. You're kind of on the. You're on the defense now. Let's see. Ronaldo creates YouTube channel, breaks record.

This is kind of crazy.

What happened?

He joined YouTube and got 8 million subscribers in like 1 second.

I think he's up to twelve now.

Did he do. Did he do like. Did he do a giveaway or anything? Did he do like. Did he run suicides? Do the shock collar?

Mukbang.

Did he do the shock collar or the lemon in his eye?

Mukbang. That would. That would do numbers.

What do you say, Max?

Never mind.

I think we'll get to it, Rush. Yeah, we'll get to it. We'll get to. I think. I think Messi could dominate these numbers if he came out with a YouTube channel. Yes, easily. By the way, I had this thought about Messi. I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast. What's stopping the United States from just giving Messi a us passport for the next World Cup?

21.

The fact Messi wouldn't play for us.

Are you sure?

I'm pretty sure.

Pokitino. Argentinian guy, too. Now our head coach.

I also don't know if he'll play in the next World cup. He's getting a little old.

He's getting old. But wouldn't you want him on the US?

Of course I would. I think Messi really likes Argentina.

What if we gave him a shitload of money?

I don't know if that's legal or not, but I still think Messi, like, he's a God in Argentina. What would happen if he does that? I'm just dreaming God's death.

I'm just dreaming and I'm thinking outside the box and there's got to be somebody out there that's got money to burn. And if you. If you're Jeff Bezos, give him like a billion dollars to play for the us passport.

I don't think Jeff Bezos cares about anything besides being rich, bald and doing TRT. Is Jeff Bezos going to buy the Celtics?

No.

What? Why'd you say no so fast?

Cuz I saw a report that said he wasn't interested.

Oh, okay. So I guess that's good. No good report. Wouldn't you want him to buy the Celtics?

I think so.

Yeah. I don't. I want to be by the pair.

Throwing out this new stadium shit, though.

I don't.

I'm not a fan of that.

Yeah. The Amazon touchless stadium.

I don't think the Boston doesn't need a new stadium. That's just like an owner would want a new stadium.

Jeff Bezos would just build a new stadium because he can.

But we don't need that.

I, listen, I'm fully supporting Jeff Bezos buying any team because it goes back to my original, my long time. Take that. If you're that rich and you don't own a sports team, you're a fucking weirdo. Yeah.

It's the, it's the only thing you should want. The point of getting money is that you can own a sports team.

It's the only thing that actually, like, costs that the amount of money that you have. You know what I mean? Like there's. Once you have the billions and billions, Jeff Bezos has nothing. There's nothing left to purchase.

Yeah. You want, you want to own the best toy in the world and the best toy is an NFL team.

Okay.

Jason McIntyre said Simmons was doing that to get his name in the headlines.

To get Bezos name in the headlines.

Simmons his name in the headlines because he's like, this is what McIntyre said on Cowen show. He was basically alluding that Bezos was her. Simmons floated that out there just to get his name in the headlines because he's going through some type of contract dispute or something, which I don't levels to that shit. I don't believe that.

But Simmons is going to contract dispute with Spotify.

Wait, so he just.

So he's saying that Simmons is going through a contract dispute? So Simmons decided to talk about the Celtics for once. Right? He threw out.

He threw out an unfounded theory about the Celtics and this raised a lot of red flags.

Sounds like he was just doing what he did job.

Did Bill Simmons do a potential draft of Boston Celtics owners? And then everybody was like, this is unusual.

Yeah. What's his angle? What's wrong with him?

Is he sick?

Okay, so Bezos maybe, but probably not.

I think maybe my favorite report, he.

Has no plans on purchasing the team. He should start plans.

Yeah, start the plans or buy the Bears.

Yeah, he probably wants to buy a football team. The rumor was that Dan Snyder would not sell to him even though he was the highest bidder for the commanders because he doesn't like Bezos because of the reporting the Washington Post did on the commanders. Also, if you're a billionaire like Bezos, it's probably easier to buy a team that's not in complete disrepair and take that over like the Celtics.

Right.

Like, you've got a winner, a proven winner already. So that seems like I'm connecting a lot of dots here, but I'm going to dispute that report and say, he's not done.

No, he's not done being interested.

He's not. He's still interested.

He's definitely still interested.

My favorite story about Jeff Bezos is that. Remember when the mistress came out?

Yeah.

When he got that divorce a couple years ago, he got caught having a mistress because he was hanging out. He was at some business conference with MBS, the leader of Saudi Arabia. And MBS was like, let me get your number so that we can text later. He gets his number. MBS sends him a text and has, like, a link on. It's, like, thought about. You check this link out. Bezos clicks on the link. Now. Saudi Arabia hacked into Bezos phone.

Oh, no.

And so they released. They found out all the dirt on him, and they released all the information about Bezos.

That's fucked up.

Yeah.

You guys seen the Zuckerberg? Always be your friends that just want to send you links. I know what happened with Zuckerberg.

Have you just seen him?

Yeah, he's. He's trying to get into his swag era, which, again, I respect that, too. Like, if you're. It's the buying a team or if you're a very rich guy, you have to essentially do enough performance enhancing, do some kind of weird Navy SeAL crossfit, krav maga, or whatever the hell it's called to try to wipe away the fact that you were a nerd. Yeah. You do that.

You also just put yourself in positions to make yourself feel uncomfortable because everything about your life is super comfortable. So you go on, like, two week long retreats where you don't do anything but drink water. You just try to make yourself feel like you're poor again.

Yeah.

In order to tap into some, like, deep, yearning missing piece that you haven't seen.

Or when Zuckerberg got choked out but then had to release a statement saying.

He did not, in fact, get choked.

I also would love to interview the guy who choked him out because I feel like he didn't choke him out as hard as he would any other person.

You think he let up at the end?

Yeah, of course he did. If he's getting paid by Zuck, he definitely let up a little. That wasn't a full choke. So actually, now that we're talking this out, Zuckerberg got choked out in a half choke.

Yeah. I also think the billionaires, sometimes they, if you get that much wealth and power, you have this deep, dark instinct that takes over that makes you want to be an evil billionaire until you take over the world and potentially destroy it. And so you just have to do everything you can to, like, steer yourself away from that instinct.

Yeah, they're all evil. They're all evil. Little Rose Avatar. Hank over here.

Yeah.

Eat the rich like that.

They're all evil because Hank thinks that anyone, anybody that's worked that hard to become a billionaire is an idiot because they didn't take any vacations.

Right, Hank? Hank will never be take ultimate vacations. That was kind of all the headlines. So is Ronaldo and Aaron Judge fighting with little leaguers. I just pulled up CB's sports. Purdy leads young QB's on contenders. I like this. Is it as a topic where you can rank purdy number one, but not have it be number one. Like if you do the age thing.

Mm hmm.

So you can leave out Holmes, Allen Burrow, all those other guys.

Like, who would you start a franchise with right now? The answer is still Patrick.

Yeah. Patrick Holmes. I was gonna say, see, well, I was gonna say CJ Stroud, if you're doing age under 25. Oh hundred.

I do Jaden personally.

Yeah, I'd like, I mean, I'd like to be Caleb Williams. I want to see him play in the NFL. I'm being realistic. I'm not going to get crazy. Okay. Anything else? Well, let's do. Did you just fart, Hank?

Just farted.

Just far?

No, you definitely farted.

You gave me eye contact and farted.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, you looked at me and farted. You're sitting in a wood chair.

What does that have to do with anything?

It makes a louder noise, like it was a very clear fart.

Let's check the tapes.

Yeah. No, Hank, you farted before the podcast started.

Just looked at.

That was the exact same sound.

Or have to check the tapes.

You're real comfortable, huh?

I just had a lot of, I don't know, cell blue.

Was that it?

Oh, now you're mad at us for acknowledging that you farted on our podcast?

You're the one who stared me in the eyes and farted. Like during the podcast.

There are people that are, there's a million people listening to this right now. And you're just like, fuck them.

I didn't mean to fart.

Slipped out.

Control your sphincter.

Oh, man, Hank.

Okay, Hank had a lot of nitrous this morning. What loosens your butthole?

What's nitrous? Like whippets.

Yeah, Kanye. All right, let's do, like, thousand dollars of nitrous a month.

The nitrous. And then there started this debate online. Like, why isn't nitrous just legal? And everyone replied, because it actually burns your brain cells.

Yeah.

Like, it's actually the one. Like, the. To get high with nitrous. It's because you have a lack of oxygen to your brain and your brain is dying. Oh, yeah, Kanye got that hookup.

There's a very funny text thread that was going back and forth between Kanye, his dentist, and I guess, his old boss and his boss, or his dentist. Have you seen his Instagram page?

Yes.

Doctor Thomas Connolly.

Yes.

He's a jacked up dentist with head and face tattoos. He says this needs to be a long term goal. Get recreational nitrous legalized. Meanwhile, we mastered the delivery system with a two year head start. And then Kanye's old business partner said, surely you're joking. Prolonged misuse of nitrous causes birth defects. Problems with b twelve spinal cord will disintegrate. Why would anyone want to introduce another drug to an already depressed, addicted, demoralizing, apathetic population of dopamine slaves? Then Kanye follows that text with, can I have the nitrous today?

Spinal cord. What is it? I can't say the word.

Disintegration.

Disintegration. That's got to be one of the worst side effects for a drug, for anything.

Yeah.

Yeah. Your spinal cord will disintegrate.

It's pretty important.

Turn into dust.

Yeah.

Okay, let's do. Let's do our college football pics real quick. It is nothing. Week one. It is week zero. Next week is week one. But let's get them in right now. DraftKings. You can bet them all on the DraftKings sportsbook app. So we've been tasked with a national champion Heisman or conference winner. I will let you go first. Pft.

Okay. I do apologize for thinking that there were week zero Thursday games when I was looking at the app. I'm gonna. I got a national champion pick. I have two, but I'm gonna tell.

You, two can't win it.

I have one that I already bet on, but I have one that I like more than the one that I bet. So I'm going to give you a brand new one.

Okay.

The Texas Longhorns.

Okay.

I like the Texas.

What are their odds?

Their odds are, I believe, 850.

Okay.

Eight and a half to one. Texas is back. We might see arch manning if yours has any issues. But I think that yours is still obviously one of the best quarterbacks in college football. And their hardest game is Georgia. They have that at home. And with the expanded playoffs, they have.

To go to Michigan, too.

They have to go to Michigan. But I'm thinking Michigan's a big question mark this year.

They're still going to be good.

They'll be good, but there's a lot different at Michigan from the national championship team. So I think Texas will also benefit from, obviously, the expanded playoff if they do lose one of those tough games. Still very much in it.

Yes. All right, Hank, your conference champion pick.

I'm going to go with the conference, our local conference. The big ten. Little long shot.

It's more than a little long shot.

123-4567. They are the 9th. Is 9th out of whatever team. Nine out of ten. In the big ten.

Yeah.

Washington Huskies. Plus 8000.

Plus 8000.

Okay. 80 to one.

Damn.

Okay, hungry dog.

All right. I'm going to go with my heismanous, and this is one that you're going to bet. And we're either going to have great value or was the worst bet ever within the first week, which is what I like to do with my Heisman champ or picks. I'm going to go with Miller Moss. USC, they play LSU week one. I think it's actually the Sunday game. So it's going to be a standalone game. If he comes out and balls, it's right now 35 to one. It will be half that price if he comes out and balls. I also am high on USC this year simply because they got rid of Alex Grinch, the worst defensive coordinator of all time.

Yep.

So they will be better on defense. If they're. If they're better on defense, the offense doesn't have to press as much. They could maybe have a better record. Miller Moss, Heisman trophy winner. And guess who. Guess who just churns out Heisman trophy winners? A guy named old Stinkin Riley.

Stinkin Riley. Now where's that first game?

I think it's neutral. Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's either in, it might be in Louisiana, which, or New Orleans, which would not be neutral. But I think they, this might be the camping world game where they play in Orlando, which isn't that. Wasn't that stadium built during the war or something? Is there something weird with the camping World stadium.

I mean, just based on uS history was probably built during a war.

Yeah, that's true. Hold on, I'm gonna find that because it's actually in Vegas. It's Vegas. Um, no, there's a weird, uh. Because, you know, the fact that Orlando has a football stadium makes no sense. Really. Right.

Like portals.

Well, no, that's. But they have their own football stadium. Camping world is just a neutral football.

For just this type of occasion. Yeah.

It opened in 1936 as Orlando Stadium has also been known as a tangerine bowl and Florida citrus bowl. 1936. That's crazy. That Orlando. If you had asked me when Orlando was created, I'd be like, I guess whenever. Disney.

Yeah, Disney. So Orlando built this. Was that during the Great Depression? Was that like a new deal?

I think so.

Like FDR is like, I'm gonna give money to build the Hoover dam. We're going to do a lot of mining and bridge construction. Tennessee. And we're going to build a football stadium in Orlando.

Yes. So that Florida State can play LSU week one sometimes.

Save the economy.

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was under the Great Depression.

Was it really?

Stadium was built immediate east. Yeah, it was. It was built for that reason. Capacity of 8900 as Orlando Stadium. First college football bowl game was played on January 1, 1947. That's not actually the first college football bowl game. I did a bad job of reading that sentence.

So Miller for Heisman? Yeah, he's got a good Heisman name.

He's got a good Heisman name. Lincoln Riley. USC. USC no longer playing in the pac twelve. They're good. They got some. Some big primetime games are playing like Penn State, I believe they. I don't know if they play Ohio State. I know they play Wisconsin, but they start the season with LSU again, this is a bet that if he plays well against LSU, it's going to go from 35 to one to 20 to one overnight. Okay, we're going to do a bunch of college football previews next week, by the way, so everyone get ready for that. We will make sure that we stuff your brain with college football previews. Those are coming. Let's do our Mount Rushmore. Our Mount Rushmore. So we are going to do our Mount Rushmore. It's brought to you by our friends at Mountain Dew. You know what we all need to get more of off our ass with bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're an actual. On an actual mountain. A mountain where the weather is always perfect. Your friends ready to hang in? A day of epic proportions awaits.

We love Mountain Dew. We've been playing, we've been in the lake, we've been doing softball, we've doing rock climbing. Mountain Dew is the best. I love the original Mountain Dew. That's my personal favorite. So thank you to Mountain Dew. We've had an awesome time at camp this week. It's been so much fun. And it's in big. Thanks to Mountain Dew for sponsoring it and getting it all together. So go do the dew. Original is the way to go. Hank's a Baja blast guy, I think pft year. Code red guy. We got three here.

Absolutely fantastic soda.

Okay, so Mount Rushmore of orange things. We have Max in first last week. We have myself on Wednesday. I was second. And then we have a tie for third and fourth. So we have to figure out what we're gonna do about the tie.

Yeah, I have an idea.

Okay.

My idea is that it rolls over. It's like in golf, if you. If you tie, hole in, like a skins game. Okay, so it rolls over to this Mount Rushmore, and then between Hank and myself, whoever finishes ahead of the other person, they get the third place points from Wednesday, and the other person gets fourth place.

Okay. I like that idea. I'll throw a counterpoint out there. I think we should give third place to the person who didn't try to meddle with the vote.

Who tried to meddle with the vote?

Hank, Max, did anyone try to vote charity? Yeah. Yeah.

Pft was so charitable online. I just give it to him. As you know, he really inspired.

He was so sure he'd give it to you.

That's very charitable.

50 tweeted in the middle of the vote.

So the vote had not been decided yet.

No. No.

And it was a neck and neck race.

He said, I will give an autographed game, ward camp, Arsenal hoodie, signed by myself and big Cat.

Somebody asked. No, one person asked me.

Rushmore poll.

Hank, you didn't read the quote tweet part.

Somebody had asked and proof of voting.

And read the rest of it.

Hashtag rock the.

No use.

You left out a part.

You can vote for whoever you want. It will not affect who gets the hoodie.

Correct.

So there were plenty people that sent replies. So charitable for Max. It's. You know what's disgusting is that Hank thinks that the only reason that somebody can do something nice is because they're secretly trying to do something wrong.

I've.

I've been definitely trying to do something.

I was not trying to do anything wrong.

I was just be clear here. You were 100%.

Surely you chosen the winner then, right?

You've never done that.

The person. Oh, I have. There's a zero giveaway chance you send.

The fucking hoodie to anyone.

I've done giveaways before. I'm gonna send the hoodie. Hank, why don't you pick who gets it?

Okay.

How come you didn't let Hank get to sign it?

Well, because the person asked. Good cat for one.

Okay.

Either the person said, hey, big cat, pft. Can I get one of those camp barstool hoodies? That's why I said, me and big cat will sign.

Did you think about waiting till after the Rushmore poll ended?

No.

Good question.

I was just. I was just walking up to the building here. We're getting ready to eat lunch, and I took my phone out, happened to check Twitter, saw that.

We saw we were in a neck and neck race.

I didn't know that we were in neck and neck race at the. It was actually. It was a very close amount. Rushmore, I think big Cat had 23%. Hank and I both ended at 21.7%. Crazy. I don't think we've ever had a tie like that. And also, after I put that out, Hank went up from, like, 20 point.

But you were paying attention to 20 point, right?

Yeah. You weren't paying attention to the vote. Well, at all. I did.

When we sat down for lunch and Hank came to the table and he was just looking. I mean, he said, how's your lunche? But I knew what he meant.

Yeah.

We may need the commissioner to make it. Make it?

Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm just gonna say, in fairness, if Hank had done this, I would have gone after Hank. So I have to say that I think that's bullshit.

I didn't. I didn't do anything, though.

I was super charitable.

I was trying to be a nice guy. You're charity shaming.

I'm not. I've been complimenting you the whole time.

What are the official standings right now? It is. What?

Depends.

Yeah, it. Max has 69 points. I have 57 points. And then PFt and Hanker, three points. Apartheid. So they'll either be it. Either be there, be two points apart, or they would be four points apart.

Or we could roll it over into this Mount Rushmore. And whoever wins this one gets the points from the tie.

All right?

Hank gets it, and Pfc loses one point. Okay.

I get subtracted a point.

Get subtracted a point.

Wow.

I don't think you should get subtracted. Well, it did break the rules.

I don't think when Hank explicitly broke the rules and posted what his picks were during Mount Rushmore, he didn't get subtracted.

I went, yeah, that's a bad precedent set. It should just be. Well, it wasn't a pick. It was a honorable mention. No coldplay.

No, I post coldplay.

He posted Coldplay.

And he posted.

Can you get to in the back?

Wait, hey, did I push people to vote for. You're anti democracy. I mean, I'm encouraging people to vote. I don't care who you vote for. Just participate in democracy memes.

Just see if. See if you can see the exact amount of votes. Is that possible?

And. And Hank, I'm giving them the shirt. Literally the shirt off my back right now.

I mean, you knew what you were doing.

I had no idea what I was doing. I thought college football started tonight.

I want brains, a PT, and go, damn, pft. You're so charitable. And he goes, well, it's not even a matter. Like, he instantly.

It actually helped Hank.

But you weren't watching the poll.

No, I saw the poll when I tweeted it out afterwards. And then.

Wait, how would you know? You saw before you tweeted after.

I just said after I tweeted out.

So how it helped him because you didn't see it before. Good.

Close. Right after I tweeted it. Oh, I looked like.

Like you had.

You hadn't looked.

Yeah.

Half second later, I looked at it.

You hadn't looked at before.

What inspired you to start being charitable yesterday?

I do a lot of charity. I just don't talk about it all the time.

So what inspired you to talk about.

The real charity is. Well, because somebody asked me publicly, so I responded publicly. And I care about our listeners. I care about. I don't care who you vote for in Mount Rushmore season. Let's be clear here. You have choices to make, and you're gonna make those choices. Choose who matters to you, who speaks to you as a representative of your thoughts during Mount Rushmore season on this podcast. I just want people to take an active role in democracy, and I want you to know that your voice matters.

You can't see the actual amount of votes memes.

All right, Ashley at a mangled.

And who did she vote for?

Max.

Okay, Ashley. Ashley mangled.

A mangled.

A mangled. You win. You get the shirt off my back. Big cat, will you sign it for Ashley? You don't want it. You don't care about the listeners.

I care about. I care about Ashley. Maybe I'll just send her my shirt off my back and not have to have any strings attached on voting. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's how much I care about the listeners. I don't make them do things to get free things.

I didn't make them do anything. I said, if you're going to vote, I want to encourage that behavior. Voting's good.

I just know, I'm trying to be fair here, that if the Hank pulled this move, he'd be fucking. He would literally be on trial for an hour and a half, which you, I think, would agree with. Pft.

I don't know what you're talking about. I'm trying to do a good thing. And Ashley, this is for you.

It's a nice shirt.

It is nice. Are you talking about the tie dye one or are you talking about can.

You see it yesterday?

Do you want this shirt, Hank?

Still pulling it out for me.

You want the shirt, Hank?

I'm sorry.

I don't think Pft should lose a point. But we'll get to it.

But we'll get to it by the.

End of it this round. Rush for. All right here, I also wanted to say shout out Carl Ham, who made a very, very funny mount Rushmore graphic summing up all of our picks this year. I'll just read it real quick. It was, this is the first round. Max, good pick. Pft good pick. Big cat, good pick. Hank making a third round pick. Then second round is Max, good pick. Pft third round pick. Big cat. Pick one. One for people aged 35 to 45, Hank something nobody even considered picking. Third round is Max, good pick. Pft something hyper specific that wins the votes of 50 people.

Yeah, but they vote hard.

Big cat. A niche sports reference that nobody else was going to take. Hank something that Hank has to explain as to why it fits the category. Then the fourth round is Max, good pick. Slash Italian. Pft. It fits the category, but it's just weird. Big cat wrestling or kid related. Hank a reasonable pick that's really good. Pretty much nailed every single one.

That's our show.

All right, so we're gonna do the Mount Rushmore of Orin things, orange things, and we don't know the standings right now, but I guess we'll know at the end of this. At the end of this mount Rushmore. So who's first? Orange things. Pft's first. Wait, who's second? Me, you.

Hank third, max four.

Got it.

And it goes, it goes. 4321 and points. Unless there's a tie right.

Or someone messed with the voting.

Yes. Okay. Yeah.

Never mind.

No.

So Hank got the point. Do we agree with that? On that?

We don't know.

Memes can find the actual votes. Kenny.

On the desktop. It breaks down to the decimal point. And we were tied 21.7 to 21.5.

But I think we should be able to get into, like, the analytics of the numbers post and.

Got it.

Get the overnight votes.

You get the overnight votes. Can we get that? Can we get the timestamp votes of when PFt sent out his tweet?

Oh, yeah, I was winning before that. That's what I'm saying. Well, right after.

Exactly.

I'm just saying I was up. I helped Hank.

You keep saying you haven't checked in check before.

I did not before, but I've learned a valuable lesson. That's don't help Hank, because he'll always accuse you of doing it.

I have done nothing but compliment you for your charitable actions.

Fact did call me doctor charity.

Doctor charity. He said when we were asked, we're in the bunk this morning, he's like, what? What should we do for Mount Rushmore? He's like, things that you give to charity. Okay, pft, your first pick.

Okay. One. One. I'm going to go with buffalo wings.

Okay, good pick.

Thank you. My favorite food in the world.

Hank. Any. Max, any. Anything to say that that's orange? Yeah, it's orange. It is orange. Okay, so it's my pick. One. One. I'll go with them. Maybe the 1212. I'll go with maybe the most important thing ever created. Although it wasn't really created. Maybe it was created. I'll go with fire.

All right, that is my second fire.

Is you need fire for everything. For buffalo wings. You can't have you. Buffalo is now fire.

Now you can. You can use an electric fryer to heat it up, but. Yeah, no, it's fine. Electric fryer.

Electric fire.

Yeah.

And then where's the electricity come from? Fire.

The big plant life.

Fire. Happen.

A lightning that struck a kite. That.

But how do they get electricity from the lightning? Fire.

Lightning struck a key.

Fire.

Fires. Good. Listen. Fires. A great pick. I had it as my second overall, so.

Okay, Hank. I watched Hank put together his list. I think he has four picks.

I'm gonna go with basketball.

Okay.

Okay. Basketball's a good pick.

Yeah.

My list.

Very orange. Good pick.

Thank you.

Okay, I'm gonna go with Mac and cheese.

Mmm. Sometimes white Mac and cheese.

Mac and cheese.

That's interesting.

What kind of Mac and cheese are we talking about here.

Just plain boxed Mac. You can say box Mac and cheese if not interest.

The yellow.

Are talking about the blue box.

Pretty yellow box. Pretty. Yeah, yeah, that's yellow.

Orange. Orange.

Pretty yellow. No, I mean Kraft Mac and cheese is definitely orange.

Yeah, I think it's yellow.

It's definitely worth.

There is yellow Mac and cheese.

There's way.

Yeah. White Mac.

What color he wants?

That's orange.

This is orange.

I believe that would be orange.

You think that's orange?

Have you ever seen the powder?

Yeah, the powders. Very.

Yeah, it's about as.

And then I'm gonna go with an orange.

Oh, okay.

Okay. You want to, you want to fight.

Me on that one?

Good pick.

His orange. Orange.

He just play, he just plays the, like the one word answers. Yes. This graphic always looks better. He's hacked it. Okay, Hank. All right.

Pft was a little too specific. I'm gonna go with something that, you know is more universal. Hot sauce.

Ooh, good pick.

Hot sauce is orange.

Yeah.

I don't think hot sauce is orange. We've had this discussion before, Hank. Not hot sauce is red.

The most popular brand of hot sauce, I would say, is Frank's. And what's the word that comes after that?

Orange. Hot.

What hot sauces are orange.

Buffalo sauce.

Buffalo sauce.

Buffalo sauce is orange because you mix.

It with the butter.

Correct. Because you mix it with butter vinegar.

It's. It's red and yellow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good pick, though.

It is really good.

If it were orange.

Wait, did Hank just take buffalo and sauce?

I'm gonna go with goldfish.

Oh, good answer. Would you like to take a specific goldfish? It might help.

No.

Oh, okay. Cuz I had larry the goldfish on there.

Are you the snack?

Yeah, I'm talking about.

Or the fish?

The snack.

Oh, I. The goldfish on there. Did you want to larry the goldfish? No, thanks.

Gonna fart again.

Okay. I can't believe this. Last all the way here. I'm gonna go with a tiger.

Yeah, I had that.

Very orange.

Good pick. Very good pick.

Very awesome animal.

Okay. I'm glad not do we do.

I just remember we did do this mountain rushmore of hot sauce or the hot sauce thing was the spirited debate.

That you were very wrong about. Yeah.

Cuz you. We had the same conversation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't work your way. Okay.

Never does.

Okay. Pft. You have two picks.

I got two picks. Glad this one lasted as long as it did. Cheez its. Cheez its. Love cheez its. The hot and spicy. The big cheez its extra toasty, reduced fat.

What are you gonna say, Hank? You took goldfish. Yeah. Good pick.

Thank you.

Okay, what color is the box? Red.

I didnt say cheez it boxes.

We might have to give. We might have to do the. Hank gets third place and pft minus one point because he's just blowing this draft.

Hank's like, like an.

How am I blowing this draft? I mean, because you.

I didn't take hot sauce.

Yeah. Okay. You're doing fine.

And I got. I couldn't pick something.

You're like an animal that doesn't have a real defense mechanism. Like, you don't spit venom. You don't have a stinger. Just when you get upset and frustrated, you shut down and fart and.

Mm hmm.

Next pick.

That have been so great.

Yeah.

All right, next.

He's a skunk. Yeah.

I'm gonna go with hooters uniform shorts.

Hmm. Okay. Pretty shorts.

This is the part of the draft where. Where he gets the 50 people.

Are you saying you don't like the hooters uniform shorts?

Oh, you're.

This is looking at the shorts.

You personally, I don't think I go to hooters to look at the shorts.

You do look at the shorts sometimes.

I'm going to hooters for something else. The wings, which you already have. Yeah. That's good pick.

Yeah.

Okay.

What? Pft. Just picked.

Let me see.

Yeah, yeah, it's great. They're great shorts.

Okay, I'll go with. It's my pick, right?

I is it?

Yeah, I'll go with fall leaves. Orange fall leaves. Nice crunchy leaf. Some about the fall football. Love it, Hank.

Good pick.

Thank you.

I will go with a. Another food.

Okay, nice.

Or should I go with an animal?

I think you should just decide.

You want to do.

Go. Nemo. Finding Nemo.

Oh, you went goldfinch. Goldfish. Goldfish. Back. Back to back.

Hank, I'll be honest. I had Nemo on my list.

That's awesome.

That's good.

So, you know, it's really good with both me, and that's why I don't.

Want to take Larry. That's why you didn't want to take.

Larry, because you're like, I already got this covered. Okay, Max, your last two.

I know. Well, I'm gonna go with an orange. The orange tic tac.

Oh, okay. I think that's one of the worst tic tacs.

There's only two tic tac.

No, that's not true.

Is there three?

There's. There's probably, like, seven tic tacs.

I like the orange tic tac. It was like, that was a staple for me growing up.

White, you got the spearmint, you got the wintergreen, you got the. The fruit colors that are like, mixed in. You got order nose. It's like, I don't know, multiple.

I think orange and white are the two. Are the two tic tac.

Okay.

Those are the two ogs.

Ah, yeah. I gotta. I gotta say, I never was a tic tac guy. It's like, who cares?

Or tic tac to have a fucking.

Have some gum.

Tic tac.

And also the tick walker.

Like, make your breath fresh. And you picked one that, like, doesn't.

Yeah.

Tax are.

The only benefit for a tic Tac is to make it your math, your there. It's candy. This not candy.

Yeah, tic tacs are.

No.

Tic tac is just a candy.

But then that's just a shitty can.

No, it's a good dirty.

No, that's a. If we.

Shane.

The shade is ferociously right. I already won this.

Stupid Shane. Stupid Shane. The guy who's never had McDonald's.

You want to keep debating with the king of Rushmore?

Won the whole. I want to just. I'm standing up for candy. If we did a candy Mount Rushmore and we each got ten picks each, so that's 40 candies. Orange tic tac still wouldn't be picked, I'm saying.

Or. Okay, pick another orange.

Your candy.

Pick another orange candy.

I might. I have. It's not my pick, buddy.

Okay.

You want me to. Right now?

No, because actually, yeah, I don't even care. Syracuse orange.

You are the. You're the king of Mount Rushmore. So I don't really know.

I thought about going with another school, but I. It's lit. They're literally called the Syracuse orange.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

My last pick, I'm going to go with the orange hairs on weed. That's when you know you have good weed.

That is the kind bud.

That's a good bud.

Kind bud.

Kind buds, not good.

What?

In my day, Hank, con. Bud was the best.

Mids, KB. And then.

KB is kind bud. Yeah. That's.

That's like a step above mid. What cotton bud is like, not that great.

God damn. It used to be the best.

Be like, yo, you got mid, you got KB. You got that orange haired weed.

Okay.

You got a nug of weed and it's got orange.

I think it's a great pick. Yeah, it's a great.

You just laugh pretty hard.

What? Not. Well, I laughed because it was very niche, but it was a great pick.

Who doesn't like weed?

I. I'm telling you, it's a great pick.

Hank, that was, that was Hank's pick. That kind of fits the category, but he has to explain why that's crazy.

It's literally whatever I tell you can work every fucking.

It's a great.

Fits the category perfectly.

Oh, my God, Hank. I'm telling you, it's a great pick. I was laughing because it's something I never thought of. That's funny.

Thanks.

You don't believe that.

You don't believe so mad at me. All right, my last pick. I'm gonna take Snooki.

Okay. All right.

She's orange.

You could.

Patrick. Orange. Yeah, you could. You could have gone DT. But then it's like, is he yell. You would.

You would win half. Yeah.

Yeah. Who knows not to get political, Snooki. God, you're lashing out extra hard today, and I've had your back from the start of this. Mount Rushmore. I was the only one trying to prosecute Pft for you.

I wasn't trying to prosecute Pft. I've been commenting on this charity the whole time.

I laughed at the. The red hairs, orange hairs. Excuse me? There.

There are red hairs. And we do.

Yeah, they might be more red than orange. I actually initially said yes to the hot sauce. Yeah. All you want to do is just fart in my face, give me eye contact. Ip to your last pick.

Okay. Last pick. I think I might just run the football here. Do something easy, simple. Definitely orange. I'm gonna go with pumpkins.

Mmm.

Pumpkin make great pieces.

I don't like pumpkin pie. I've never been a pumpkin. Oh, pumpkin pies.

Delicious pie.

It's great. Yeah, pumpkin pies. Good.

I mean, you like orange tic tacs. You like everything.

Pumpkin pie is fire. It's a staple.

Yeah.

In the autumn. Yeah. You think fall, you think thanksgiving, there's pumpkin pie. You also get the Jack O'lanterns. You get Halloween decorations.

Hmm.

Yeah, I'm gonna go with pumpkins.

Okay, good. Mount Rush, where we got honorable mentions. I had a lot here.

Yeah.

Mountain new live wire.

Yep, yep.

Peaches.

Yams.

Yams. I take a pumpkin over yam, though.

I think Tennessee orange.

Tennessee orange had that as well.

Texas burnt orange.

Tennessee.

Don't like Texas burn orange. Cheese balls.

Cheese balls are good.

Cheese balls are the best. Sweet potato fries.

Yep.

The sun.

Yes.

Sometimes I kind of want someone to take the sun.

I thought about that, but. So sunsets are orange, but someone took the sun.

Correct.

It was set. I agree.

Yeah. Cheese.

Cheese.

You could sunset, probably. I almost took Mac and cheese and cheddar cheese. I almost did a full cheese running up the score.

You're on the ten yard line. Yeah.

No, I'm not gonna lie. I think I had, like, five things written down. I'm done.

You rest in your starters.

Well, I don't need it by me getting first place. It. It ruins the rest of the draft for the two of you that need those points.

We're not really.

I don't need the points. So. Nice. Anyway. I'll probably just give me some at the end.

Can you move your mic a little bit?

Tabby cat. What about the tabby cat?

The orange tabby?

Yeah, the one from. What was the show? Morning edition. I had coach Taylor where you got the newspaper from the day.

The next day, Friday night lights.

Is that coach?

No, it was. I think it was morning edition. No, it was an orange tabby.

Newsroom.

Bring him the newspaper. Tomorrow's newspaper today.

I didn't see the home improvement.

It was a good show.

I'm rewatching Friday night lights.

Wow. Golden retrievers.

That golden.

Yeah, that's golden. It's kind of orange, literally in the name.

Didn't you.

We're doing honorable mentions.

Okay.

No.

Hank said golden retrievers for yellow.

Nah, I didn't.

Kyle Chandler. Yeah, he did.

Hey, why are you so. Why are you so grumpy right now, dude?

Oh, foxes. We missed foxes.

Yeah, fox. Foxes. We saw Fox.

Yeah.

Damn.

What?

We missed foxes.

Early edition. Early addiction. We missed foxes. You're on one. Orioles.

Yeah, Orioles.

They're really cool. If you ever see an oriole, they're awesome.

Yeah. Good birds.

I thought you were talking about the baseball team, Garfield.

Yep. Yeah, that. Five minutes ago.

Sorry, Garfield. I was looking up the show. That is completely irrelevant that I was trying to figure out. He's came out 20 years ago.

Monarch butterflies.

Yeah.

Orange County.

Orange county. Yeah.

Yeah.

You're not OC guy.

Orange county choppers.

Yeah.

Laguna beach. You can't.

I know.

That's crazy.

You can't.

You can't smoke cigs. And if you live in Laguna beach.

Like, you can't even in your house.

No. Your neighbors can report you in your house.

Yeah.

If you smoke outside or you smoke in your house and the smoke wafts into your neighbor's property and they smell it, they can call the cops on you.

That's insane.

Yeah.

Wait, weed or cigs?

That's crazy.

There's another orange. Political guy. Not to get political.

Yeah, we were saying that. DT.

Mm hmm.

Um, Frank Ocean.

Chanel Orange.

Oh, yeah. Channel orange. You say Chanel Orange is a channel orange or Chanel? Was I wrong?

Probably not. He's probably me. You're definitely right. Always are.

Didn't Apple rank that album is, like, the second best album of all time?

Yeah, as bullshit.

Hank, I can't. I can't with you right now.

I literally can't get exist.

Did you, memes, do we have a conclusion? Okay, so what is your ruling? Hank gets third and Pft gets fourth.

You guys just didn't accept commissioner and.

Ok, all right.

Make a rule.

But you didn't actually point when you broke an explicit rule. Don't bring it up to I broke an unwritten rule.

Wait, so you're admitting you broke.

No, that's what I'm being prosecuted for, is breaking an unwritten rule. You were prosecuted for breaking a written rule that you invented, and you didn't.

But I didn't track rule.

Yes, you did.

I just decided I did.

No, you did.

It was actually your rule that broken. All right, so, memes, what's final ruling? Hank. Hank gets point. Hank gets the two points.

Yeah.

Okay. But PfT gets a official warning. A warning.

Okay.

And next time it's negative ten.

How long does he have to send the sweatshirt? Because that should be part of it.

Oh, good point. You have one week. Wow.

Okay, I can make that. Huey, can you? No, no, no.

You have to do it.

Okay.

You're so doing it.

All right. Because I need you to sign the sweatshirt.

Happily. Okay, so then the updated standings going into this. Mount Rushmore would be. Pft has 48. Hank has 46. All right, so it's very close.

Anyone's game. This is why we do Mount Rushmore season. It's fun, isn't it?

So much fun.

I'm having a blast. Yeah.

Like, I don't want to do the challenge again, not because I'm. I'm, like, afraid of doing the challenge. I don't want to do it for a second year in a row.

What challenge?

The baseball challenge. Oh, no, that's for dingers only.

Yeah, you're brave.

Oh, this is for a different challenge.

Yeah, Hank and I lost about Rushmore last year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll get. You'll get up to speed.

Listen, we can't record before 10:00 a.m. that's just doesn't work.

Okay, let's do our interviews. We got Will Compton. He's brought to you by our friends in Mountain Dew. Yeah, I know.

No, I know. 50 just made another inaccurate.

But we started recording.

We started recording before ten.

Before ten. But Hank was. Hank is being a real bitch.

I don't know what you're saying to me there. I thought you were saying like 1030. We gotta hurry up. You're just correcting him.

Can we wrap up this little podcast thing that you're trying to do?

Okay, before we get.

Let's do another mount just for fun.

I'm down.

Before we get to Will Compton. Mountain Dew. We're here at Barstool summer camp thanks to Mountain Dew. You know, we all need to do to get more of off our ass. With bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick, Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain. A mountain where the weather is always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportions awaits. The mountain is calling. You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab a nice, cold mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the dew. I love the original. Thank you to Mountain Dew. This has been one of our favorite weeks. Barstool summer camp. Incredible idea, incredible sponsor. Hopefully we can do this every single year. And hopefully Mountain Dew is back every single year because we love Mountain Dew. So if you want to support us and all these fun new things we get to do, please support our sponsors. Mountain Dew, go get an original Baja blaster, code red right now, and do the dew. Okay, here he is. Will Compton.

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Okay, Will Compton. Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, Will Compton. The boy, little redemption, because last time he was on the show, it was the drunken episode we've ever done. So, Will, first of all, let's start there. How. How bad were the scaries anxiety when you woke up and you're like, I did a podcast, bro.

My scaries. And, you know, we messaged back and forth, but my scaries were through the fucking roof.

Mandy, it was a great performance.

Not only that, I remembered how, you know, you're in the final game and so you're shit talking, you know, to get in the other team's head. And I'm just trying to recall the things I was saying to Joey, the comedian that was with Pak Tiari. And, you know, you have no clue. You go in the next day in the shop and the boys were talking about how obnoxious I was getting. And you're just like, God, man.

You were the drunkest man alive, bro.

When I saw your guys'first, the first clip, and I'm just slurring, and every. Every word I felt like in my brain meant so much.

Yeah, I know that feel. We think you're being super profound.

Yeah, yeah.

Down to. And you listen back to it, and you're like, that is the opposite of what I thought I sounded like. Although you made some good points about Max and how much he hates JJ.

Yeah. Do you want to apologize to Max, or you think he still might hate JJ Reddick?

No. Yeah, I think that you were explaining something that I wasn't quite following. No, I get into it. I was gonna say, do you hate JJ Reddick?

For real?

No, I love JJ Reddick. He was a great six eR. He was probably on the best sixer team of my lifetime. Probably where should have won.

Did they win?

No, that was. He was on the Kawhi team.

Oh, what year were you born, Max?

I mean, the. Oh, the oh one Sixers. But that AI was just the best player. That team honestly sucked.

The team was bad, except a covered up a lot.

So does that make you mad that JJ took the job at the Lakers?

No, I like JJ. I appreciate JJ for everything that he's done for Philadelphia.

So what if he. What if the Lakers beat the Sixers in the finals?

Then I would probably hate JJ.

Yeah, he does.

He does have.

No, that's.

There's pre hate. There's. There's the potential of.

Sounds like you're on to something. Yeah.

What's the word? In vino veritas. In wine, there is truth.

Mm hmm. It sounds like drunk man's words. Or man's words are right.

Like. So if the Lakers beat the Sixers, you wouldn't be calling for JJ to come home?

A silver man's were thoughts or drunk man's words.

Maybe, but I mean, that. But that would be in my. He would be tapping into my brain, which.

No, no. Will's asking you if the Sixers fired their head coach and they hired JJ Reddick. It sounds like you wouldn't like that.

Like they were just doing JJ Reddick. Yeah.

Would you be hoping JJ comes. Comes to Philly?

I like JJ. I would.

Yes.

I like Nick Nurse. I don't want anyone to get fired ever.

So.

Yeah, I want to keep his job. I want Nick Nurse to keep his job.

It's so you wouldn't be excited about your head coach?

No, I would.

I be a good head coach.

I do think he's gonna be a good head.

No, I'll be a good head coach. Then you would be like, yeah, I would take him over Nick Nurse in a second.

Right. But you ride with your guys, so you do JJ.

Yes. We got to the bottom.

Do you think he's going to be a good quarterback?

What's that to do with JJ Reddy?

Was that for me?

Either one of you do I think that. Do you think Jada Jaden Daniels gonna.

Be a good quarterback? Yes.

Would you. Would you get rid of Caleb Williams and take Jaden Daniels?

No.

You show you hate Jaden Daniels.

No, we're not talking about J or not.

I just did this. I just did the same thing.

A good coach ever. Good, good QB. You think JD racing be a good coach?

Correct.

Would you put your reputation online for it?

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would put my revenue.

You know, JJ needs this. He needs. He needs doubters out there.

Yeah. Haters and towers.

But it's good to be sober.

Yeah, it's good to be sober.

Sober.

That was, um. I. I don't think we'll ever do that again. It seemed like a good idea in the moment. And then the next day, we all were going through because we were going to interview Joe Burrow, and it was like, we were just all silent in the bus being like, just the anxiety. You could cut it with a knife.

Yeah, it was a bad day. We were at each other's throats. Hank left his wallet in, like, three different locations.

Yeah.

And held us up big time and wouldn't apologize for anything. And so any. Like, we weren't never mad at will, obviously, because we were all in that same boat. We were hammered drunk. But then when the clips came out, I think we all thought that they were hilarious. When you see the clips come out, you're probably just like, turn your phone off.

Yeah.

Yeah. I eventually listened all the way through on the JJ ready part because I remember.

Yeah, you're, like, one of the only people who made it all the way through.

And it's like, when you guys are talking about, like, riding back on the next day, like, with your boys, you're almost, like, sitting there with anxiety, hoping somebody's like, hey, man, you. You were the MVP yesterday. Make you feel like, okay, all right. Everything is all.

It was epic. Yeah. No, we didn't have.

But you all sit there and just assume everybody else is thinking, like, you're obnoxious in this specifically to you.

Yes. Yes. All right, so will we're on the precipice of football season, actually. We can talk about. This is coming out on Friday. We were all on the same team for Camp barstool, I think. I don't know how you guys are feeling, personally. This was just an eye opening. Like, God damn it. I know I say this all the time, but, like, another one of, like, damn, you are just so washed. Because the few fun activities we did have just made me. I actually am, like, 1% chance tomorrow I wake up and I can't walk.

Yeah.

I'm just paralyzed.

Legs on fire. I'll tell you what, we won the real game. Softball.

Yeah. Here's our list. Softball, wrestling, swim relay, kayak, relay. What else?

Tramp, tramp, trampoline.

Like, all, like, the cool ones where you had the.

Yeah. Actual sports and the closest things to sports. We won, and they basically just won. Donnie. Donnie. Chef Donnie. Chef Donnie. Like, he just won all.

He climbed the rock. He won the belly flop contest.

Yeah.

And White Sox Dave. White Sox Dave won paper, rock, scissors.

Yeah.

How did she.

Did.

I blame Stephen J. For that? Like, going over for. In rock, paper, scissors. We had memes crunch the numbers on it. You know how hard it is to go over for an RP's with no ties? He had a 1.2% chance of doing that. Like, 90. Only chase 99 times out of 100 in wrestling.

Che bodied white. What are you talking about?

He took his. He took his blow and turned it around on him. We also. We. We ended up losing, but we lost with class. There was the one moment, will, where I had to correct.

Yeah, I was gonna say you were leading the charge of winning with class. I'm like, sitting in the back, like, fuck this, man. Let's go.

He's like, let's get out of here. I was like, will, we have.

They.

Remember when the pistons walked off the floor? Dude, like, you gotta. You gotta at least shake some hands. But. And we. And none of us had any freakouts. Yeah.

And it's. It feels that way because we should have won.

I know.

Like, we left.

Like, we might think that way if we were younger, but at this age, important to have that perspective. If one event doesn't go your way, you don't need to lose your cool. You don't need to show a ref, shove a ref. You don't need to attack anybody. It's important to know, like, hey, it's just a game, right? So it's just a game. We had fun. We're all winners in my book. And I'm glad that we can look back on this week, all of us, and say we take pride in how we can.

I love our team.

I did, too. I love our team all day.

I know teams next year.

Yeah. It was so much fun, though, because.

Part of me, like, when I, you know, I think I believe I broke my toe. I just want to put that out there.

Well, you went to the infirmary at summer camp. Been here for 48 hours, and you.

Had to go see after the nurse, after will left the table, the nurse came up to me and she was like. So I asked him what activities he was planning on doing later on in the day, and he said, I played in the NFL for ten years. And she's like, why did he tell me that?

That is not how it went.

That's what she said.

That was my nurse.

No, the nurse is a liar.

About what she said you don't respect.

She said. She said what you do. And Garrett, he had the camera on me, so I'm, like, making Garrett laugh, thinking she's gonna laugh. So I took it as, what do you do? And I was like, oh, I played nine years in the NFL. I was like, bounce around a few teams, but. And then I was like, I'm just fucking with you. We're about to do swimming games.

That's interesting. She said. She said.

But she had, like, a weird kind of, like, reaction where I was like, okay, I guess that one didn't land well.

She said you told her ten years. You just said nine.

Maybe I said it.

Yeah.

I got as close as you can to ten years without having ten years.

Yeah. You kiss the wall.

I got as close as you can.

Yeah. You couldn't have gotten any closer.

It could.

We saw the tape of you dropping those balls in Atlanta.

Yeah.

I mean, Art, he clipped that up.

Yeah.

The one drop I had.

Well, there. I think there was a couple drops.

I don't know if there's two.

Hey, listen, they. There's a reason why you play defense.

Yes.

You're not supposed to catch the ball. You're not there to catch the ball, are you. Are you excited for football season?

Oh, yeah. I mean, of course, it's the best sport in the world.

It is. But do you. Do you have now that you've been out for what, two years now?

Yeah. Wait, no.

Like a year?

Yeah. Are there any, like, moments where, like, is there a training camp? Like, damn, I wish I was with.

The boys a little bit. I mean, we went to.

Instead you're. You're playing swimming games. Swimming through the pavement White Sox. David J is literally your coach.

Yeah.

And that's like, how you feeling?

I'm like, I'm gonna figure out how to go.

By the way, there's no worse coach or captain than Steven.

Oh, my God.

Because he has no confidence in himself or in anybody. He'll come up to you and you can put your chest on you. You can be like, I'm ready to go on the kayak, Che. And he's like, are you sure?

He.

There was a moment yesterday where he was like, I didn't realize he was standing, like, basically right next to me. And someone asked me how it was going, and I was like, chase the fucking worst. And he goes, what? And I. And I turn and I was like, oh, I didn't see you there. I said, che's the fucking worst. And he's like, fair? Yeah.

Do you miss it at all?

Yeah, I do every now and then, but it's like, again, playing the games and everything out here, you truly realize, like, I see, when I see the hits that happen, I just think to myself, I have no clue how I was out there doing that.

Yeah.

What's the hardest you ever got hit?

Oh, man. It was this all pro cat. I forget his name, but number 76 or 78 for the Saints. And it was my second year or third year, and they ran this, like, they ran this dip later where they pulled a couple guys outside and I just fucking took off because, you know, you're thinking, I got to get to them before they see me or get to me first before they turn their shoulders. And I ran into this cat, and he caught me just at the very end. And he didn't, like, do a whole lot to me, but he felt like I ran into a fucking brick wall. And I dropped, like, literally right when I hit him. I lost all feeling in my legs and, like, my, my arms are kind of out wide, and I was still trying to lean, and I just go down, and I can't, like, stand up because I hear him on the way, like, as he put me on the ground, he looks back, he's like, night night, motherfucker. And I was trying to, like, get up to, like, say something back, like, say, like, a joke back, but I couldn't stand up.

Everybody, hey, stay down. Stay down. And I just didn't have any, like, feeling in my limbs for a minute.

But. How long was that? How long did you not have feeling?

Um, I don't know. Probably like 5 seconds.

That's scary as fuck, I'm sure.

Yeah. I mean, it was like everything went stiff, but, like, on the ground, I'm coming together, but you kind of feel like that baby deer trying to stand up. You like, can't get your bearings underneath you. And then, you know, you go out, then you get right back in because.

You love the game. On the next play, it's like, I.

Guess I gotta do this again.

It go side to side and you just be like, hey, I'm good, man. I'm solid.

Get me back now.

It was a beast. I did love watching will play when he was a. You were a Redskin, right? Not a football team.

Yeah, I was a redskin.

Loved watching you on that team, captain Will. Captain Compton. Good story. Who do you root for more because you played on. Let's see if we can name the Wilcoxon teams. It's just the one might sneak by you. Redskins, Titans, Raiders, Saints.

Yeah.

You want the Saints.

So on the saints for a cup of coffee?

Yeah. Which falcons? For the drop pass.

Yeah, yeah. Almost falcon.

Almost falcon.

You got a workout sleeveless shirt, right?

Yeah. Did you get the tummy shirt?

Yeah.

Like put it back in?

No, we're gonna actually, when we went there in, in the spring, they let us put on gear and suffer photos, but they're like, hey, do you mind putting, putting everything back?

Yeah. So, yeah.

Do you root for one of those teams or do you have like another squad?

I don't know, man. Like each, each of the teams I played for, I mean, outside the Saints because I just wasn't there very long, but like the Raiders, Titans and commanders, I want them to do well because it'd be, it'd be. It's cool to root for them, but the NFL is such a business to where, like, once you're removed from and you understand how the. The machine works, it's like you're more tied to players than you are the actual logo.

Yeah.

Like, I want to, I want Washington to do well because it was like the spot that, where everything basically happened for me. It's like I wanted, I want the Titans do well because you. I still know a few guys and then the Raiders. It's like you still got some players over there that I play with, like Max, that you're just like you want the silver and black to do well, cuz.

Yeah, that would be a weird moment when there's no teammates left.

Yeah, that will. It was a weird moment in Nebraska when I realized I didn't know anybody locker room anymore and kind of feel weird going back. But now that I'm this far removed from football. I find myself being immersed more as a fan, like I was when I was young.

Big season coming up.

Yeah.

For the corn husk. Yes. I dare I say, make or break. I actually think you guys would be good. Cause Matt rule everywhere he's gone. His second year has been phenomenal.

Yeah. I feel really good about the Huskers.

Okay.

I like their schedule.

Yeah.

They're over under seven and a half. I think that is. I think that is those first seven. You need to get that. I think you need to jump on that.

They just name Rayola the starter.

Yeah. Honestly, man, I think that they could. I think that they could compete this year.

What does that mean?

What does that.

I think they could go ten and two.

Whoa.

I mean, you're talking about maybe sneaking into a playoff spot.

Yeah.

Ten and two. Yeah.

You got to think about it when you. If we're going into Ohio State, we're seven and. Oh, this is.

How many times have you done this exercise? And it actually worked out that way.

Yeah, I know. Cause I understand the history, the recent history of Nebraska to where it's like, all these guys are delusional. But there's something about this year, man.

But the fact that you said, if.

We get to Ohio State, where you say exactly that, the fact that you.

Said, think about it, we could be going into Ohio State and we're seven and, oh, you're kind of admitting that Ohio, Ohio State's about to kick your ass.

They could, but I think that would be good for us.

You think so?

Yeah, obviously, I'm talking way onto the future. Like it's happening. But number one, like, yeah, if I'm trying to be, you know, everybody's like, oh, we'll be realistic. Trust me. I want to say twelve oh, but if I'm one, can have some type of credibility in saying it.

It's like, well, I don't. I got a few. I don't think you should have to.

Worry about credibility, you know? You know what I'm saying?

But, okay, listen, we do. We do this, we don't have credibility.

You're right.

You're no reason to.

But also have the people, the people, the. The fan bases that, that you're a part of. Like, if I'm just saying twelve one. Oh, it's like, ah, you know, comp. He's just ten and two.

A couple people are like, I mean, it sounds realistic.

Well, and also you could. The trick is to do the, like, a couple different versions. You know what I mean? Like, when people ask me like, what do you think about this bears season? I'm like, 910 wins and they're like, what about the best? I'm like, 1213. Like, you just throw out a couple different numbers, getting a little. Get a little cloudy and everywhere, everyone's like, well, what do you say? And it's like, well, I kind of covered all my pace. That's the key.

Yeah, it's. I'm fired up, though. I think rail is going to be a stud. We return most of the black shirts top defense. Last year. Last year we were five and seven. We had four one score losses.

Yeah, that Michigan game, if that fourth and one goes different, you probably win that game. I mean, you lost at 42 to seven.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I. And they knew our signs, so they don't know. Then we. Oh, yeah, that was a different score story.

I gotta say, will, I was very excited to go to Nebraska. And maybe it's cause the team, like, that game was just not really.

I know where you're going with this.

But that was tough. That crowd was like, they died in the second series. It just felt like. It felt like one of those crowds where it's like they just have been. They just expect the bad thing to happen and they just can never fully get into it. And I know that, like, if they, if they rattle off some wins this year, they're unbelievable fan base. No one, everyone knows that they sell out everything. Sell at the spring game. But I was like, damn, what is going on, bro?

I'm with you, man. It's like, what? I think it was a. They scored that. That long drive, and then like a pass got tipped. The very first player, second play, and they picked it.

Yeah.

And then when you need the crowd to be involved, the defense getting back out there on some third and shorts, like, you need the. The fan element to like a settle for a field goal. Ben, don't break. Then you go back and tell the offense, hey, we got you, right? Go back out there, clean that one off. But instead it's dead. They drive and score, and then it is like, oh, now this and that.

And then, and then it's like, what, 21 nothing? And you got to go out in the fucking t shirt that was.

And you look that look, hey, start a second quarter. You want to hit the t shirt? Oh, hell yeah. That would be awesome. And when we start to get handled, bro, I'm like this.

I'm not the.

Go out here and just fake that.

It's a very, very sad t shirt. Cannon. Yeah, they gotta move that up to.

Like he was on the little thing, too. There's like a little buggy or something. I don't even know what.

It was awesome, but it was like a fuck. This is gonna look ridiculous.

One cool thing about Nebraska in college football, I don't know if you've seen this map, but this is the percentage of people who live in certain parts of the country that actively watch college football. And if you look at the hot spots on the map, the entire state of Nebraska.

Yeah.

What? Alabama might have us.

It looks like Alabama maybe, but like Nebraska, it starts and ends on the border.

Oh, yeah.

It's like once you cross this.

Yeah.

You have to care about college football.

It's oxygen out there, man.

Well, I like that.

It's oxygen. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, listen, I want Nebraska to be good. It'd be fun. They're one of the teams.

Would you take in seven and a half over under?

I'd have to look at the whole schedule.

I mean, I like, will pull it up. I'm getting locked into it.

Max, give us the whole schedule.

Will sounds like he.

Game by game. Now, listen, I don't think the Badgers are going to be that great this year. We have a really tough schedule and kind of a, you know, I think they're gonna be. I think this is gonna sound like loser talk, but I think you understand what I'm saying. I think they're gonna be a better team than they were last year. They may not have a better record.

Yeah, cuz you guys.

Cuz it's like we have a. We have to.

Because I think fickle. I think. Yeah, I think he's gonna be solid.

And we have to play with Alabama, non conference. Penn State, Oregon. Like, it's a brutal schedule. USC. So like they could end up. The batters could end up being like seven five. But I'd be like, I'm excited about the future.

Yeah, let's you.

Let's go through one at a time and we'll give instant reaction. Win, loss, may or just.

You guys have the easiest schedule in September.

Nebraska home against Utah.

Winch.

Never easy home against Colorado. When whom against northern Iowa when home against Illinois.

Pilmos.

Hey, salty, sneaky team.

Yeah, I'm gonna say tie.

Ties. Good.

Okay, road purdue, that's also another one.

Yeah, it's. Well, no, because I feel like Purdue will use their crazy good game at home against a better team.

What? Nebraska might be ranked if they're four and. Oh, so that.

But they're, they're, they're four oh, or the three.

Oh and one. Yeah, that's a, that's a. That's a win.

Home against Rutgers. So many home games.

Yeah. West win.

Rucker is also gonna be salty. Some good teams.

Road against Indiana.

Did you know that we were playing the indian signetti?

Yeah.

When I know that your boy.

That's my boy.

That that's gonna be a game. That's actually Nebraska against JMU because Indiana got all of her best players and they got her coach. So that's me versus you right there.

Yeah. When you were talking about on the plane, I was curious. I'm like, do we play Indiana this year? Cuz? If so, like, I'm assuming PFT thinks that they'll beat us.

Yeah.

Indiana is gonna win that game.

Ready for the gauntlet?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Road against the Buckeye, loss. Home against UCLA, win.

Yeah.

Road against USC, lost. Home against Wisconsin, lost.

Okay, here's the thing. Like I said, wisconsin, I don't think gonna be great this year. Wisconsin handles Nebraska.

That game came down to the wireless.

I'm not even. But what's the record? Yeah, what's the record with Wisconsin? Nebraska? What's.

And you know, you know what you're doing right now?

Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm just looking. I'm asking for the record. I think it's like ten in one.

Yeah, no doubt. I mean, when you took me on that walk it with the fart video last year, you were kind of saying what the recess was on.

That was a close game last year.

You guys, when you say Wisconsin handles, you're just talking in the scope of like, their overall record.

Record of all time against the brass since Nebraska has been in the big ten. But you're saying our bitch, that's a fact. Fact or fiction?

What's the record total?

It's Wisconsin 13, Nebraska four. Okay, but what about in the last, since the big ten? Because I don't know you. They probably got a couple wins when they did steroids back. Ten and one. I. That's crazy. I knew that.

You knew. You fucking.

Thank you for fact checking, boys. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys got our number.

No, that'll be a good game. I'll be very interested to see because I. It'll be a big test for Wisconsin.

Yeah.

And then the last game of the season is on the road. Iowa.

Let's loss.

We gotta control the border, man.

You get.

Do you get mad when I will be too? Because it's like, that's what we should be doing.

Yeah.

You might be the only person who's.

Like, that's more me. Nebraska at their height is better than Wisconsin and Iowa. Iowa and Wisconsin are kind of like, when Iowa beats us. I'm like, what the fuck, cuz? Like, we should be able to beat teams with punting and running the ball. Yeah, it pisses me off.

Yeah, it's all of it, too, right? Like, I win the brass or similar states, but I just get pissed because it's like the Iowa team last year is basically everybody in that division, but they just happen to win ten games. You know what I mean? And then you got a. Was his name Butterbean out there beating. You make it throwing dimes against your defense, and you're just thinking, how in the fuck does this guy beat us?

Yeah.

Yeah. Do you think that Matt rules the kind of coach, though, that, like, if. If shit goes bad, is Matt rule a guy that's gonna, like, turn it around?

I think so.

He literally turns around. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I think you came across his speeches, I'm sure. And I feel like, like, you know, I'm sure nobody's out there watching Nebraska hard knocks. But they do have some. Some nice training camp episodes out right now on YouTube. But the way he. The way he interacts with the guys, the words he has to say, it always feels like he has the right thing to say at the right time.

I think is, I think both in. At Temple and Baylor, his second years, he won ten games.

What is it? I thought the first year was, like one. No, second year was like, like seven or ten. He's done.

Yeah. In the either way, he's a turnaround guy.

Yeah.

Like, big.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think he is definitely the guy. Yeah, I think he's definitely the guy.

And you didn't say that about Scott Frost.

And if he's nothing, I mean, there are a couple. Yeah, we thought Scott Frost was the guy.

Yeah, that's a weird position I wanted.

Scott Frost is in, too, because he's, like, hometown boy coming back.

He was part of the squad in the nineties.

Yeah.

So he's like a legend, and then he comes back, and then he stinks as a coach. Like, is he. Does he feel like he's not part of Nebraska anymore?

I don't know. I think that would be a good question for him because I get curious of that, too. It's like, man, how you doing?

Yeah. Just being like, hey, man, you still feel like you're part of Big Redheen.

Okay. I'm.

I can do that right now.

How are you gonna phrase it.

I'm gonna say what you just said.

You're gonna ask him if he feels like he's a part of Big Red.

Yeah. Maybe throw in, like, a. I hope you know you are. Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, just so he, like, feels that way. Yeah.

Yeah.

So what would you like?

Hey, we're.

I'm having a debate with the boys. Like, do you still feel like you're part of Big Red? I hope you know you are. That's a good way to do it.

Also, what do you think about JJ?

What do you think about the Lakers side of JJ Reddick?

Thoughts on JJ Reddick? I mean, I'm just even as crazy as you've been. I actually do think, like, for the first time, will, I'm actually on your side because every year that you've done the Nebraska, like, where this year's different, I mean, like, this guy's crazy. It's going to end up in the same spot. This is the first year where I'm like, he actually has a little merit. Like, I think they're gonna be a pretty good team. I think they're gonna go to a bowl game for the first time in forever. How long has it been, the bowl drop? It's.

Oh, has it been over a decade?

It hasn't really been Polini.

It's been bad.

Was Polini the last one, or did.

Mike know Mike Riley?

That was started like six or seven and.

Oh, yeah.

Until it's a similar schedule.

You guys, you guys could did the same thing that Wisconsin did. Gary Anderson was our weird hire where you hire someone in Mike Riley, say, Utah State and Oregon State. Was Mike Riley, like, hiring someone from the West coast being like, yeah, come close.

Ad.

Like, just like, you could like. It made no sense.

None. He, you know, we don't. I don't have to. I don't have to throw shit on Mike Riley. It seems like you have.

You want to text him and ask.

Him if he's still. I don't have. Because that the time that he was there is like, you know, your staff gets fired in. And then when he was transitioning, that last group of seniors was the very last round.

Yeah.

So that was the time where I didn't you almost everything kind of felt.

We driving a Tesla might have been or not. Maybe we could, but it was like a Subaru or something.

I was in a.

Wasn't a brass.

Maybe like a Prius.

Yeah.

Seems like.

Yeah, I was something like judge a.

Lot of by a football coach based on what car he drives.

Yeah.

I could tell you how many games is gonna win.

Yeah.

Like Andy Reid probably has a truck from 1996.

Yeah. Or even a minivan.

Yeah.

You could have a minivan for.

Minivan would be good. Yeah. Matt rule in a minivan would be kind of weird.

I wonder what coach Will does.

Absolutely.

Chevy guy. Yeah, he's a Chevy guy.

Yeah.

There's no doubt.

Yeah. All right. Anything else, will? No. You guys, we're gonna see you a bunch more because you're gonna be in the office. I'm excited for football season is gonna.

Be fun with the boys. Yeah. Gotta get in and on some action. You had a clip that was out the other day talking about, like, you know, the whole, it's not about winning and losing, but having fun with your boys.

Yeah.

Guys just put your money in one thing and you're all rooting for. I can't wait for that.

I say it all the time and I know, like, people, I go, this loser talk is, you know, everyone online is hitting 65% of their bets somehow and knows the outcome after the game. But to me, obviously, you bet you know what you think, but there's no better feeling than when you're sitting down watching a game with all your friends and you're all like, all right, what's. What do we like? And, yeah. And everyone's like, all right, we like this. And then you're all in it together, and it's just like, we're pulling up for this together. It's just the best feeling. I fucking love it.

What's gonna be your first prop bet on Thursday? Cause you got that. You got the first game.

No, no.

Right? Ravens Chiefs.

Yep.

Is that one on Thursday?

Yeah. Ravens Chiefs. Bears played noon on first week. One against Sunday. Yes. Sunday against tight.

You know what I love? Here's what I'm putting my money on this year. I'm gonna go big on this. Kind of a sharp play. Kansas City Chiefs over eleven and a half wins.

Yeah. How? Oh, yeah. Here we go. Robot question Rho bhk.com promo code. Take 20% off first purchase cusps polo. So these joggers shorts. Thank you for bringing that up. Pft. Because God damn, were you so stupid about the Chiefs last year. Why did you do that?

In hindsight, just like you just said. Yeah, guys, 65%, you know?

But that's the one guy. But that's the one guy. You said they weren't going to make the playoffs.

That was my hot take.

Wait, that takes.

Got to be hot, right?

They should all be hot.

And that's one.

And I remember so vividly after week one when they lost the lions, when.

They lost to the lion, you were.

Like, I am the fucking smartest man alive.

I'm telling you, this the year where they start to go down.

Well, there's good. There has to be one person every year that has that take. It's the same. It's the same person that was like, this is the year that Tom Brady falls off.

Yeah.

And father time catches up.

Right.

There's always somebody that's out there being like, I don't believe in the Chiefs anymore.

There's.

It's gonna be a lot harder to.

Not believe in the Chiefs this, but in the take game, like, those are the certain, there's certain teams you just don't like. I would never be like, oh, the Chiefs are gonna suck this year. It's just like, you just. It's Patrick from homes where Chiefs fans giving you a lot of.

You don't think, oh, they give me shit all the time.

It's.

Yeah, I get. It's like. It's fun now. Yeah, but you don't think the that division. Raiders, Broncos, Chargers.

Yeah.

Are gonna be chargers will be better for sure.

I know. I don't think that division is gonna give them any problems.

Sheer not to worry about.

Are you doing this again? Are you doing it again?

I mean, I'm doing it again, but.

You're doing it again.

Twelve wins?

I don't think so.

You're doing this again, Will.

I think that division is gonna be scrappy.

Doing it again. Yeah, will, what are you talking about?

Scrappy? Top to bottom.

So you telling you what do you have, ten wins? Nine?

I think they make the playoffs. I don't think they want win the division.

Well. Well, will.

Okay.

I love it.

Dude wills, that mouse that keeps going back and touching the electric, I keep shocked. He's like, I'm gonna get this cheese next time.

Yeah, we were literally just talking. You just did it again.

Yeah, but, man. And you're, I know deep in that brain you're like, yeah, it could be a scrappy division, top to bottom.

You could be interesting.

You're gonna feel so smart, though, if it hits.

I think the Chargers will be because I believe in Harbaugh will be better. But I. I don't think they're there. They have, they're doing a full roster overall.

I think the raiders are gonna be better.

Herbert.

Yeah. Mahomes.

Bo Nicks.

Mahomes.

You're gonna miss you.

Oh, you're ticking a second. Mahomes.

Bro.

I'm telling you, I think.

Why do you hate the Chiefs?

I don't hate the Chiefs.

No. It feels personal. Feels like you. Feels like you ate the Chiefs as much. Max hates JJ Reddick.

In your. In your brief time in Las Vegas, did you develop that hatred for the Chiefs?

No, not like that. I think it just developed over. Like, it's starting there. But I didn't hate the Chiefs. You just knew that. That was a big.

Sounds like a guy who hates.

No, I don't hate the Chiefs.

Yeah.

A lot of. A lot of good friends on that team.

Oh, like who?

Harrison Buckner. Bucker.

Wow. Good friend.

Good friend. Great friend.

Travis.

Kelsey.

He dropped a fire quote about Winston Churchill the other day.

He did?

Like an NFL kicker is like, yeah, I'm just like Winston Churchill.

I know. I know.

All right, well, Willie, you're the best. We'll see you again soon. He'll be on again this fall. Great job. Listen, great. We love war with you guys. I'd go to war with you guys any day of the week. Even though we fell up short. Fell a little short.

It's okay.

The backstroke. And you were.

Yeah.

I mean, you downplay yourself all the time. I think it's just part of. The. Part of the bag you try to work with. But you were.

I did have the. We were. It was a moment where Will Taylor and I. Taylor was on the other team. Will Taylor and I were in our cabin right before we were heading out, and I was just like, man, I feel like I'm, like, 50% tops right now. And will just turns to me after we walked out. He's like, that was so smart. We.

Will do secretly miss. Just like, after, you know, after we're done today, we go, we eat dinner, we hang out, socialize a little bit outside, maybe hit the showers. But we're all not showering together in a big open area, all butt naked, looking at each other.

Does that.

Do you miss that at all in NFL training camp?

Well, will showers with his shorts on.

He does.

That's a fact.

Yeah, that was.

I was talking to will about that yesterday, though. It is kind of weird that after practice.

Oh, yeah.

Games in the NFL, they're like, okay, boys, pack it up. And then they all just take all their clothes off.

Yeah.

Shower.

Next.

We do. Yeah. Yeah.

And you got that nickname.

I mean, I miss being in the locker room.

Yeah.

It's something. Shower conversations, man.

That's when it goes.

Yeah, it's when it gets real.

Yeah.

The script nickname.

Well, you own dago scrimp.

You'Re talking about today?

They must be. Call me Jumbo. All you can eat.

Yeah. All right. Thank you, will.

Appreciate you.

The best.

You know what we need to get more of offer ass. Will Compton was brought to you by the one drink that will get you off your ass. That's Mountain Dew. We love Mountain Dew. Been drinking it all week here. Got the Baja blast in a can. We got code red. We got the original. We got zero sugar. We're fueled up on Mountain Dew with bold flavors and refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass, have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain, a mountain where the weather's always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportions awaits. We were playing some softball the other day, drinking mountain dews in between innings. I could have been out in the outfield drinking Mountain Dew in one hand, catching Hank's pop ups with my other hand. It was a great game. Remember that game of softball? Big cat was lighting it up from the mound. Absolutely lights out. Twirled the gym out there.

Hank was mad that he couldn't pitch like I can.

Doesn't sound like Hank. But anyways, we were all refreshed. We were all feeling good because Mountain Dew. The mountain's calling. You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab an ice cold mountain dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold, and do the dew. He was also brought to you by our great friends over at Verizon. I'm excited for the best time of year, guys. Football season. Verizon can help you win Sunday and be fully prepared for watching football with NFL Sunday ticket, meaning you get your favorite teams out of market games every Sunday afternoon after the move to Chicago. I use NFL Sunday ticket because I watch every Sunday Commanders game on my own terms. I can keep up with my team from afar. Can watch the Commanders games right at home or on the go with my phone. Don't need to go out to bars to catch the game. We can watch it because of Sunday ticket. It relies on NFL Sunday ticket to get the commanders games that I want, I need, and I can't live without. Now you can get NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube tv to keep up with all your favorite teams and out of market games on Sunday afternoon.

Two get an awesome deal on NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube with Verizon. And now here's Sam Morell.

And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest a little bit of a better setting than last year when he was on it. Is comedian Sam Morella. Sam, first of all, welcome to the new office we promised you last time you were here. We were in, like, a closet that we'd be in a little bit of a better spot. So here we are.

This is crazy.

Yeah. But great to have you.

I think last time there was a toilet that was flushing in the background the entire time.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

A pipe running through our studio. So whenever somebody would flush upstairs, we would just get a big dump going through.

It was a dark time for us. Just like, there was a couple guests that came through and were like, we swear, like, we didn't move to Chicago for this, and now we're here, so.

No, this is insane.

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty nice. So you have a new special out on Amazon.

Yeah.

And you were saying to me earlier, your new special is out, but now you have to get a new special. And that's the hard part about comedy.

It never goes away, man. It's painful. Yeah. It's like you people are like, oh, my God, you have a new hour out. I'm like, yeah, cool. I have to start at fucking zero. Yeah, you're just like, in the. You know, you're just ended. You feel like you're in spring training. You just out of shape and shitty, and you're like, no, I swear I'm good at this. But then they come out and I'm like, it's gonna be all new shit.

Yeah.

Do you ever get a moment to be like, oh, that was awesome. Gonna take some time to enjoy that?

No.

Well, you're addicted to comedy.

Yeah.

You have an actual, like, an addiction. Yeah.

It's hard. It's hard to. I really don't. Really. I'm not good at celebrating ever. I'm nothing. I was never, like a birthday guy. I was never like, oh, this is awesome. No, I like the grind of starting a zero back on the road and just having to. Having to build it again. It's humbling. It keeps you from being a piece of shit.

Wait, so you didn't celebrate the Amazon special coming out for even, like, a week?

No. No.

What are you doing it for?

I was getting too frustrated. They were just turning down every time. I'd be like, hey. They'd be like, what should we market your clip as? And everything they'd suggest, well, that's not a joke. It'd be like a setup. And they'd be like, that's. That's it. And I'm like, no, here's nine options. They were like, none of those work.

Yeah.

And I was like, what do you mean? They're like, what's a bad representation of Amazon? And I was like, what's on Amazon?

Yeah.

You know, and then I'd see, like, what they would post. Otherwise it'd be like, homelander from the boys sucking on a woman's breast.

Yeah.

Like, this is okay.

You gotta be careful because, like, whatever they choose to market your stand up with, that's what people are gonna see.

Yeah.

And then they'll assume that's the entire thing. Like Netflix, they put out a bad clip of Joe Rogan and everyone's like, Joe Rogan is the worst person. He's the worst stand up comedian ever. And so it's just like, what they market you as is not always what's contained in the special.

Usually, like, someone, 22, fresh out of college, who's like, you know, like, this should be like an important job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so you're. Did you also get almost called a pedophile?

Not. Not to my knowledge.

Wait, no, there was some. One of your jokes I feel like went viral and people were like, this guy, huh? Recently, maybe I'm pedophile. Yeah, maybe it was.

I've never heard it.

No.

Yeah, probably for the best.

Remember someone maybe posted one of your jokes and everyone was like, trying to take it out of context and it was like, what? This is bullshit. Like, he's a comedian.

That's the hard thing, those clips. Right? Cuz it's like you put them on social media. It's like. It's like a comedy club where someone's opening the door and being like, that's fucked up.

Yeah.

Right.

Well, it's not for you, obviously. No, I don't. I definitely have a lot of pedo jokes.

That was a bad question by me being like, hey, did you get accused of being a pedophile now?

Yeah, this is gonna get. What would you like? Some.

Yeah.

Video.

Yeah. At least address it hypothetically.

What would your response be if somebody were to accuse you of being a pedophile, Sam?

I would say Kevin Spacey was exonerated. Maybe I'll have similar luck. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I have a lot. I definitely. A lot of. Peter, I did joke back in the day about how, like, the best thing about pedophile jokes is like, no one ever gets offended.

Yeah.

No one's gonna be like, no one's gonna stand up in the crowd. Like, that's. That's enough.

Right.

You know, standing up for them. I had a lot of peto jokes in my last special. I don't know if I had any in this one.

Did Amazon say, like, let's not include those in the clips?

They asked me not to include one joke in the special. They asked me to cut one joke. And, you know, my friends are like, dude, fuck that shit. You're an artist. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, I get the joke back, right? I was like, thrilled. It was a. I opened on a joke that was like, my friend, I text her. She was pregnant. I said, congrats on the baby. She just had a baby. And she sent me back a picture of her breastfeeding. I was like, oh, okay. And then she was, sorry if that's, like the female equivalent of a dick pic. And I was like, I think it'd be way worse. I send you a picture of a baby sucking my pee. And that was my first joke. I just thought it was like, a quick, fun joke. And they were like, can you not open on that? And I was like, well, it's kind of hard to move it. Yeah, put it in, like, the middle of the special. So then that was an issue. And then I was just like, well, I'll just keep it. I'll just.

Yeah, yeah, that's a bonus, that. Yeah, there must be just one less joke that you have to write when you're new material, right?

I know. Yeah, that's the tough thing. But, I mean, look, they didn't. They didn't ask me to cut anything. They were just like, this will fuck it up in the algorithm. Like, people will get so funny.

They always could say that. Algorithm.

I know.

Like, anytime anyone, they're just like, oh, yeah, we got to do this for the algorithm. I'm like, okay, I know, sure. Take your shirt off and make this, you know, tick tock video for the algorithm. All right.

That's Bert, right?

Yeah. Right? It's like, get in the algorithm.

It must also be weird taping a special and, like, you tape it and you know that it was good. You're happy with your performance, and I. But then you have to wait and be like, well, I don't know if the actual standup special is gonna be good because there's so much else that goes into, like, putting out, like, a video of your performance than actually just doing the performance live.

Right.

I felt good about it. We did four shows, which is Stu. It's a huge waste of money, but I liked it. I did seven when I did one in Chicago, I'm a psycho.

Wow.

I'll just keep tape. I'm like, now let's just keep taping them. I'm just watching money just disappear from my account. But I'm like, no, it'll be cool. Just keep taping it. And. But, yeah, by the fourth one, I knew we had a good moment to where a woman. I didn't want hecklers, but, like, if someone heckled, I didn't want to put any crowd work in the actual special because there's so much crowd work on the Internet right now. And I was like, I'm just going to do start to finish jokes and. But one woman heckled a joke. And I was like, I kind of got to keep this in because it was a quick moment, but I just said the words Fox News, and she was like, boo. And I was like, a joke is coming.

It's not coming.

I'm just going to say the words Fox News. And then she was like, I'm sorry. And I was like, hold on. I've never heard a woman say that before. Let me take that in. So that was like a fun, quick one. But I'm like, I'm not gonna, I didn't want crowd work in the special.

Yeah.

What is it about hecklers? What, what's the mentality of somebody that goes to a comedy show and is like, you know what, now is my time to chip in?

It's a good question. I mean, alcohol, maybe, maybe just that you, you know, you're that person. I think you probably lack a self awareness, and maybe your group of friends around you is always like, you're that person. There's like, a weird thing of someone's like, why? I tell it like it is. I'm like, well, that's not a talented. That the person's like, I said, I'm like, anyone can say it. Yeah, say it cleverly.

Yeah.

If those people, if they're like that every single show they go to or if something snaps and they're like, I can't hold back anymore.

I think it's also like, I know because I've seen Shane do a couple shows and I think that there's, and this is a good thing that you want your, your fans to feel this affinity towards you. But I think a lot of hecklers show up there being like, I'm going to make Shane Gillis.

LAUGHTER yeah.

And you're like, well, you're probably not because he's very, very funny and also he's doing a show, but, like, in their head, they're like, this is my moment.

Yeah.

I'm gonna make him laugh, and then we're gonna be best friends.

Totally. Yeah. Shane is. You know, you might make him laugh at the bar afterwards, but on stage, right. Shane is like, his fans are also probably just all guttural alcoholics, you know?

Yeah.

Shane's insanely funny, but his fans. Shane drinks heavily.

Yeah.

And, like, we've been.

We've been with him many times.

It's like a video game when I see him. Just like, how do I get around Shane without getting blackout drunk?

Yeah.

And I lose most times. But I saw him in Nashville just recently. I was passing through Nashville. He was at some. I was at some post Malone concert. It was really fun. I see Shane. He's like, your beer looks light. I'm like, it's not like a see through glass. You don't know it's light. But he just assumes he's like, have another beer. And I'm like, I'm hungover. I've been. I flew in that day. I'm like, all right, I'll have one. He's like, he just keeps an eye on everybody. He's, like, making sure. He's, like a fucking bad cop.

Well, the.

The.

We did. He did a case race with us on the yak, and I made the mistake of just being like, oh, I think, like, you and I will be like the two heavy hitters. It was like dissing Jordan. Like, he was just like, oh, yeah. And then he, like, took it afterwards. He's like, yeah, you shouldn't have said that, because he just dominated everyone.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, I probably shouldn't have.

That was impressive.

I like that he's like a coach. He sees people that aren't drinking enough. He. And he's like a football guy. He's a football player, so he just gives you tough love. He's like, come on, pussy.

Yeah. Let's go.

One more rep. Yeah, get it in.

It was brutal. It was him and Joe DeRosa, who are just both. Joe is 46. Joe's got to slow down. Joe is like that dude. He, like, you know that friend who's, like, kind of happy to be at a funeral because it's an excuse to do shots.

Yeah.

Or we got to do this for Steve. I'm like, you fucking love this.

Yeah.

You love that he died?

Yeah. Another party. Wait, how old are you?

I'm 37.

Okay, so you still got some?

I got a couple more years. It's hurting. I'm hurting now. I had martinis last night with. With Christa, Stefano. We're getting hammered at Shaw's Crab house. He's with his family. We're just pounding martinis. He's like, let's go on a boat tour. So we're in. We're doing, like. And by the way, boat tour with a woman just narrating. So it's like her comedy show where she's like, don't interrupt me. No, no sound. And I'm like, so we just got drunk and we have to be quiet.

Yeah.

So now I'm in my head, I'm like, hey, you can't. You got to be respectful. It's her thing. But we're just, like, staring at each other, shit faced, looking at your beautiful city.

Yeah.

Like, this is both. Knowing it was a mistake to get on that boat.

He had a great. I think he liked it.

The architecture tours are kind of cool here.

It's very cool.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

A lot of fun fact.

It was also perfect weather day.

Oh, my God.

You get one of those perfect.

Like, so good.

Not too hot. Was like, Chicago summer day.

Like 10:00 p.m. it was late.

Oh, yeah. You guys went after dinner?

Yeah.

Jesus.

I know. They did night tours.

Yeah, it was cool.

Check that out.

It was very cool.

So. So you are addicted to comedy. Have you taken any breaks?

I did a little bit last year.

Which is what? How long?

A week?

Fucking crazy.

It's so painful to get back into comedy. It's so. To stop and then have to start again is so excruciating. I hate going on feeling weak as a comic. I like always knowing I'm in comedy shape. And. And I like touring. I've talked to, like, legends and comedy who are like, you're burning yourself out. Which is totally true. But, like, what else am I gonna do? You know, I. I always wanted to make, like, a tv show or a movie. I'm working on stuff like that. But in the meantime, like, I want to go. All I lost stand is my favorite thing to do.

Yeah. I mean, I laugh at it, but also, whenever we take, like, a week vacation, I'm like, I want to talk about sports.

I know.

Like, I get the itch where I'm, like, starting to go a little stir crazy in my brain where it's like I don't have this outlet and you can't relax for, like, an extended period of time.

Yeah, it's.

You.

You've gone to this level because you guys are workaholics.

Yeah.

You don't get to where you got. You don't get this studio by being like, I'm going to Mykonos next week. No, you fucking work your ass off.

They go to Mykonos this summer.

Did you? Yeah. You guys are falling off.

But we came back. We did tape while I was there to talk about NBA free agency.

Yeah, that's cool.

So there was that. So it's not really a full trip, but, like, are you. Do you think you're a workaholic in. In the true sense of the word? Like, no matter what you were doing, you would be like this, or is it just comedy?

Probably comedy. I really like what I do, so I'm pretty fortunate. Yeah. If I didn't, if I hated what I did, I would probably not be going crazy working at it. But I also. When people say workaholic, like, it's just hilarious to me. So I'm like, I did two sets last Monday. It's like 15 minutes each.

Yeah.

Less than an hour day at work.

Our job is awesome.

Like, you're a fucking workaholic. I was home in an hour 15.

Yeah. When I say, like, I'm a workaholic, it's like, oh, you did a three hour video game stream.

Exactly.

Yeah. I guess I am guilty is charged.

My podcast is literally me getting shit faced. And. And people like, you had a hard day at work. Like, you work all day. I'm like, I was drunk with my friends.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not rules.

That sounds fun. So you do. You tour a lot? You do a lot of shows. You're going to Europe, right? Yeah, going to Amsterdam.

Never been.

That'll be fun.

Only there a night, unfortunately, we added a show. I can't. But that's the weird thing is, like, you undersell in some places and. And then plays, like, Amsterdam. We added a show. It's crazy.

Do you have to, like, plan ahead to see, because they.

And Frank House.

Well, stand up.

Come get tickets, like, six weeks out for that.

I know.

I don't recall my agent. You got to get me in.

It is crazy. But, like, when you're doing show, I imagine that different audiences. Audiences react differently to different jokes, right?

Yeah.

When you're traveling overseas, there's also maybe a small language barrier sometime. Do you have to think about which jokes, like a dutch audience is going to be into?

Totally. Yeah. You don't. Sometimes you can groom your set. You go all the way through it, and then, by the way, groom.

That's why pedophile.

But, no, you go through it, and then you don't realize till you're mid set, and you're like, fuck, they don't have panda express in London. You know, you. I don't. I don't know that. So, yeah, it's. It's stressful. You don't realize till midway through, but the shit that's universal is so funny. I had a joke in my special about, like, like, I went down a girl, and it was. I didn't know how long I was down there, but it was at least 22 minutes because an entire episode of Frasier played in the background. And, like, how, you know, I'm like, fucking Niles. Like, I had a whole thing about that, and everyone, like, applauds when I say Niles in Australia. Like, Niles, is that global?

He's huge.

So it's funny the shit that people don't mix, but then they don't catch, but then the stuff they do catch, you're like, wow, this is global.

Yeah. Yeah. We got to talk about your knicks.

Yeah, dude, Jalen Brunson, I love him so much. I couldn't love a player more.

He clearly, like, someone's paying him. Someone's paying him in New York City.

I hope so.

Yeah. There's got to be something to leave.

That kind of money on the table. Like, dude, I. I was at so many games this year, and, like, I can't remember loving a player this much. I mean, I love Starks and Ewing and Oak and the nineties Knicks so much. Mason. But, like, that team was lovable in, like, a way. Like, they're gonna fuck you up. These guys are lovable and, like, their best. We're just watching best friends win together.

Yeah.

Awesome, right?

It is cool.

And I feel like, you know, for the most part, people root against New York City at, like, a national level, but with, you know, why not?

Why the Knicks is Mike. Because I understand the Yankees also.

Yankees. Because you're also Yankees Yankees fans. That's kind of, like, the math that we do in our head. But the Knicks were so good and so fun that I feel like, for the most part, America didn't hate the Knicks. We loved watching the Knicks because they were a fun team to play, you know, like, it was. It was cool watching them. Like you said, friends from college playing on the same team, having success in the NBA playoffs, and their style of play, I feel like it translates. It's, like, universal. So we love them.

It's beautiful. It's like what you hear, the sixties and seventies played, like, just moving the ball. You know, the injuries did us in. But, like, I think this year were pretty good. It just hurts so much to lose. Hardenstein, he's like, he was one of my faves. Yeah, he's a bruiser. He's a high iq guy, great passer. Like, I loved how he played.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in Jalen, Brunson is so much fun. I mean, like, he bet on himself and, like, the fact that he just ended up in New York where, like, people love that style. Like New York point guards and all that stuff, it's.

We never had that guy either. Like, look at her, like, who are we starting? Shane Larkin.

Yeah.

You know, I'm like, fucking Tony Douglas. No disrespect to these guys, but, like, no, all you players, but. But they're barely NBA players now. We have a guy who's like, I think it's fair to say he's. He's in the combo of a top ten guy, in my opinion. He's definitely in my top ten.

Yeah.

You know, I'm sure people argue that, but he's a hell of a player.

Yeah. I got argument because I was like, I. Superstars in the NBA are like, there's like five of them.

Yeah.

And I was like, he's not a superstar yet. And Nick fans were very upset about that, but I was like, he's. He's on the way. You gotta be like, why?

I would go against that, though.

Yeah.

He elevates in the playoffs, of course, to me, like, you have to. Okay, is he a, is he a regular season superstar? Debatable. Fine. But you got to put a guy like Jimmy Butler in that conversation, too. Guys who's not a superstar, but in the playoffs.

Yeah, yeah. And I also think he's going to be there. Like, him and Anthony Edwards are going to be superstars where it's like, the face of the NBA year or two, where it's like, that was the first, like, deep run for Jalen Brunson. And this next year is going to be a big year for him. And if he goes deep again, it's like, oh, shit, this guy is. He's the real deal.

He is.

He is the real deal.

He is the real deal and he's. And he's fearless and a closer. Just losing. We don't have depth at the big. I loved Hardenstein. He. I knew he was leaving because I dm with him a little, and I, and I invited him to comedy cellar and he said, oh, man, I would have. But I'm in Houston. I would have. This is a week out, you know, so I know it means he's not coming back.

Do you ever feel weird dming players?

No. Because it's not like I'm like a fucking chick sliding all these DM's, but I'm just like, oh, great game. Occasionally great game or something. And he.

Good game. Yeah, yeah.

He had so many huge plays. So.

Well, does he follow you?

Yeah.

All right, that's, that's a totally normal.

That'S why I did it. I wanted, I'm not just cold sliding in, but like he, yeah, we were at a game and he came over to high five me in the playoffs, and Chris DeStefano and his fucking meatball cop friend got in front of us to try to intercept the high five. And I was like, what the hell are you doing? That was my high five. And he like, went away, like shaking his head because this guy was like 300 pounds of muscle, Chris's cop friend. Like, he's like, no one's taking that high five. Break your hand.

Yeah.

And. And then after the game, he dm me. I tried to high five you, but some dumbass got in front of you and I just showed to Chris. I go, you're the dumbass. Cost me a fucking playoff high five. I loved him. I love. I mean, the energy of the garden was something unlike.

It is special. I. I was skeptical because I was like, it can't be that much different. But then I went to a playoff game two years ago, and I was like, okay, this is pretty sick.

That was against Atlanta.

You mean the Cavs? The series?

Oh, yeah, that was a good one.

But I was just like, this is sick. Like, this is that. You could tell that everyone's just in it, and it's so loud throughout the entire game.

Dude, it was. It was epic. I mean, here in Tracy Morgan, I had. I, you know, I was lucky enough to get good. See some of those games. One. One game. Tracy Morgan just. He turns behind to it, look at us, and he goes, real animals eat meat. I don't know what that means.

Something in that moment.

Yeah.

That he says. You're like, he's right.

We were like, nodding. We're like, fuck, yeah, they do, dude.

Yeah. You had all the old Knicks there, which was a little depressing because it wasn't like, you know, it's. They're good. There were good players, but not like.

Oh, man, our king's a legend.

Yeah. But like, Steph, Seth Marbury and like, he's an. Yeah, I love.

Hey, Mari gave us one of the best half seasons. He did. That was a beautiful thing. Yeah, you look, Marbury. It didn't work out. That was. That was a tough era. Yeah, that was a tough one. But he's a New York kid and I think his story is still pretty cool.

It is. He. So I was having this conversation with a couple buddies the other day, the New York sports Mount Rushmore. Yeah, it's kind of depressing because it's probably all Yankees. Like, I was thinking about it and I was like, is it all Yankees? Whoa. So it's cheater ruth, Mansell.

Yeah, but then you. But then you say we could go like, ten deep.

True.

With Yankees, but. And then. And that's better than a lot of other teams.

Absolutely.

Maybe Mariana Rivera is not even on it.

I think.

Yeah, he would. I think I settled on Mantle, Ruth, mo, and Jeter.

But, like, diMaggio.

Dimaggio.

You can't put mantle over dim.

So DiMaggio over mantle. But then, like, what other sport would get in?

Joe Namath.

No, he sucked. Eli would get in.

Overlay is definitely an over Joe.

Yeah, but, like, it's kind of depressing when you think about the other sports. You're like, who else?

Fraser and Reed are pretty iconic. Yeah, but the Yankees are so iconic.

Right?

I get. I get why. I mean, you didn't say garrick. Like, Lou Gehrig's numbers are fucking stupid.

Right? And you leave off, like, Mark Messier and, like, there's a bunch of. But, like, the Yankees are just. The Yankees.

Lawrence Taylor.

Lawrence Taylor. Yeah, but I think it's all Yankees.

Gretzky.

Yeah, but Gretchky at the end, Messier was older when he was a Ranger.

Lundquist, like, but it's all Yankees, probably.

Lundquist.

You had to do it.

A man. That guy still is. He's still a gorgeous guy.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, would Ewing even touch it?

It's just tough because of the Yankees, you said, and the winning. But, like, yeah, Ewing. I love Ewing so much.

Yeah.

I mean, that. That voiceover he did for Brunson, I was like, fuck, I love that.

We didn't even consider any Mets on this list.

No.

Yeah. The problem is, like, who, who makes it?

Lenny Dykstra.

Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of depressing. Like, it's not. There's a lot of cities where you're like, boom, that's the Mount Rushmore.

Yeah.

And then the New York. Yeah, the Yankees can fill it up. But then you're like, wait, we don't even have any other sports.

I think for the Knicks, you gotta put Steven a. Smith on there. Yeah, that was a little bit.

The playoffs.

Like, they made the game about Stephen a. Smith.

Wasn't that what he always does?

Yeah, I was shocked to see that Steven a. Smith made.

Did you think at any point, like, hey, the Pacers are also playing in this, or because you're new, you. You're a New Yorker through and through, you're like, no, this is just how coverage should be.

No, I knew it was not okay for what he was doing, but. But I also don't really watch him.

Yeah.

Like, I kind of, like, mute until the game starts.

Right.

I don't want to watch his halftime show. It's awful.

Yeah.

I mean, when they go from TNT to him, I'm like, this is the biggest. It's crazy turnaround I've ever seen. Yeah. He just kind of. It's like, you know when you play in the park with someone who's, like, an ISO guy and doesn't pass to anyone? That's what he does. And then you see Ernie and he's, like, dishing it out.

Yeah.

Everyone cooking. It's like. It's just not good tv to me.

No.

Yeah, it was. It was very strange. I kept feeling like they were just giving the pacers more ammo. It's like, this is exactly what they.

Well, they only. They won because of the injuries. I know that I'm gonna get shit every time I say this, but it's like they're not beating us without. I mean, we. We didn't have one starter. Who's our current starter playing with Brunson.

Yeah. It was pretty bad at the end.

Yeah, it was.

It was.

And Brunson broke his hand. I was at that game. That was hell.

I feel.

Where do you land on the Tibs argument?

He's great.

But, like, I know the injuries weren't exactly. You know, some of them were freak injuries, but this is what I struggled with with the Bulls. Like, he gets his teams to play so hard throughout the regular season.

Yeah.

And they just run out of gas in the playoffs, and they get injured and they just. Everything falls apart.

We're in love. Easy, toxic. Who knows? You know? Like, if I love a girl that's treating me like shit, I still love her.

Yeah.

So I don't know. You're asking the wrong guy. I love tips.

Yeah.

I think he's. They buy in if you don't buy into Tibbs. Yeah. He's not right. But if the best player and all the other best players buy in, like Randall bought in before Brunson, Brunson buys in.

No, they do. They all die. I mean, they all play so hard for him.

OG is the only one that worries me a little because of his durability, and same with Mitch, of course. But, like, I think if they're healthy for the playoffs, we're like, we're tough. We just need that backup five. Like, Hardenstein was so valuable.

Yeah. He's such a good player.

So what happens next year?

I think we have to see how this plays out. Cause I. Part of me is like, is our defense going to be insane, or are we going to. Is our shooting not going to be quite good enough without Dante in the lineup? So, I mean. But the length, defensively, with Bridges and I an OG, and then Randall just beating you up. I mean, this. It could be a physical team.

Yeah. Fun team to root for, too.

Yeah. Look, Boston is an amazing team, but they're just not fun. Tatum is not fun.

Does he have aura?

He has no. Or.

Yeah.

I don't know. We're not sure.

We're firmly on the. No aura.

I mean, Brown has some aura, I think.

Oh, he's definitely.

I think Tatum has no aura. I think Drew has aura. Yeah, but Tatum is like, once your mom starts being like, this isn't fair. It's like, shut the fuck up, dude.

Who gives a shit like this?

This isn't.

No.

You don't get greatness from a supportive mom.

You don't.

You're not an elf. Tony Soprano had a bad mom. He's a fucking alpha. LeBron's mom's fucking his teammates. He's an alpha. Yeah, you need. You need a bit of, like, yeah, maybe he should be on the bench. Look at the numbers. He should have been on the bench in Team USA. He wasn't a good enough spot up shooter. Devin Booker is a better spot up shooter. And then he doesn't play the d that drew plays like he should have been. He's a great player who should have been not getting minutes over LeBron or KD.

Yeah.

Mom needs to be crazier. I like that take.

Yeah. I wonder, if they hadn't won the title, would this conversation even be happening? Because it was more like. I mean, Tatum is a very good player. He should have probably played more minutes than just not playing some games. But if they don't win, are people as up in arms about, no way not playing well?

He kind of anointed himself. He's like, I'm the face of the NBA. And we're like, did you. Did you run that by anyone else.

Yeah.

Because there's Anthony Edwards.

Yeah.

Devin Booker is a great young player. Luca Jalen Brunson is a great people forgotten about giannis? I have.

I know you haven't because you. You were heavily recruiting him.

I was. And I know that I fucked up last time I was here saying, he'll definitely come to the Knicks.

Yeah.

Guess what? I'm not. And I'm not done saying it.

Could still blame yourself.

No, I blame.

Did you dm him?

I dm'd his brother, and I got left unread.

Oh, shit.

I got left on. He follows me. I thought it was safe.

So you'd have the nasus.

Yeah. I did their benefit a couple years ago, and, dude, I killed. I went up and I got applause. Break from Mayor Adams on an AIDS joke. I was like, I'm locked in right now. I did that. I did old magic Johnson joke about, like, how, you know, my ex was like, you're not crying during this breakup, but you cried during the magic Johnson documentary. And I was like, you think you're in the same inspiration category with HIV? You wouldn't fuck me when you. You had a headache. And I look into the crowd and Mayor Adams is like this. And I'm like, man, I'm. I'm fucking crushing. And I see Giannis and his brother in the crowd going, I was like, oh, they're so innocent, you know? And then his brother was like, hit me up if you're ever in Greece. And I was in Greece, and I hit him up and he just left me.

But that's also a great move by him to be like. Cause, you know, you always be like, oh, yeah, I'll see you next time. Hit me up. If you're in Greece, no one ever actually follows through except you.

I follow. I never do it. But I was like, I'm in Greece, and I think he's. And I kind of want. I want to see grease with the antenna kupos, you know?

Yeah, the way they see it.

Yeah, yeah. But, no, I don't think I blew it. I think, you know, it's. He was. He's loyal. I think was a really dumb decision to be loyal. Cause dame is getting older. Doc is not the greatest coach in the world, and Brook Lopez is getting older. Middleton's injury prone. I think this might be the year.

Giannis complains.

Would I be shocked?

You wouldn't be shocked.

No, I would be a little shocked.

I don't know, though. But, like, you, what? You just laid out and, like, if it doesn't go well. And they went, you know, all in on the dame thing.

Yeah.

This could be the year where he's like, what the fuck is going on here? He's been. There's something about the european players they don't really like. Maybe it's cultural. They just don't, like, complain the same way that our guys have complained the last, like, five years that have kind of ruined the NBA in some ways.

Luca, he.

Yeah, Luca complained, but mostly to the yokesh is never. Giannis is never like, isn't that interesting?

Yeah, Giannis is. I think yogis doesn't care enough. He's like, just like the great guy who's like, yeah, whatever.

The best dude ever.

He's like, I happen to be great at basketball.

Yeah, exactly. It's like a side hustle for his horse racing. And then Giannis is so competitive that I think part of him is like, I don't want people to forget how great I am.

Right. Yeah. This might be the redemption year because we kind of have forgotten. Like, if you ask people right now, top five, he. He sometimes gets left off because he's been injured.

He can't be just because of what he does on.

Agreed. Totally agree. Like, he is top five, but. But because we haven't seen, you know, they got bounced against the Heat in the first round, and then this year, he was brutal.

But that's what I'm saying. That's why, Jimmy, you have to say in the playoffs, is a superstar different guy, because what he did was insane. And it gives me no pleasure to give love to Miami fans.

Yeah.

Did you. Did you take any joy watching Team USA because you root against most of these guys?

No, no, no.

Were you able to put all that aside?

It's amazing. It's like, I'm proud to be an american. I mean, it's an incredible thing to watch. LeBron with Barack Obama, gray hairs throwing down crazy dunks. KD hidden fat nut closing shots against Serbia. Steph looking like a phenom. Like, no, it was a beautiful thing. I loved it. And, no, it took so much join.

It also was, to me, like, the. The significance of just, like, it felt like an era ending, you know, because those guys, Steph, LeBron, KD, if you had to bet, would you bet any of them to win another title? I probably wouldn't.

No.

Right.

So it's like, not in this current.

Right. It's not like the end of, like, this era of basketball for America, where it's like, they went out on top the Avengers. Right.

It's literally Tony Stark dying.

Oh, and it's. Spoiler.

Never seen it.

Oh, fuck, yeah. God damn it.

The Sean McCoy.

Wait, Tony. I thought Tony Stark was the Green goblin or whatever, all right?

But, you know, he is a green goblinous.

No, he's. That's Willem Dafoe.

Oh.

Who's.

Who I heard has got a monster hog.

Oh.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Apparently his dick so big, Lars von Trier had to cut it out of a movie. Like, he had to get a penis double, which is. Which is amazing to me that that job exists, that there's a guy just, like, picking up a phone. Like, is it. Is it too big or too little? Doesn't matter.

I'm there.

Yeah, you got to scout that out in the auditions. Something tight. Wait, what is Robert Downey Junior. What characters?

He's going to be? Doctor Doom.

Doctor Doom. Yeah.

Marvel guy.

No, but I know that that's.

Yeah, we don't know anything. People off. Every time we talk.

I only saw Black Panther because I'm an ally, but I haven't seen.

I didn't see Black Panther.

Really?

Yeah, not Ally.

It's so funny. They got all this credit for doing that in all black cast, but it's like, dude, you. You did it after Ant man.

Yeah, yeah. You got Ant man first.

You got Ant man before the. Before the black movie. Yeah, we got it. We got to do Ant Mandez first.

Paul Rudd, superhero. Okay. I guess we've. We've conquered all the hills now this one, but. Yeah, we don't know shit about. About Marvel.

Yeah, I'm not a big Marvel guy.

But I know that sounds like you kind of.

Yeah, I look, I mean, that one was fun. The Avengers one was fun.

Yeah, we wouldn't know.

We didn't see it.

Yeah.

So, yeah, the Olympics were fun getting to root for those guys. And LeBron, he did have. He's, like, embracing the gray hair. I don't know if he's going to come back and dye the beard, but it felt like he was intentionally.

I like showing.

I've got. I've got gray facial hair.

It was real life on the best.

Yeah, it was like.

It was like, holy shit, LeBron. Could it be so funny if he just kept playing? If he just was on the next Olympic team and Tatum had to ride the bench again, that would be funny. Just as an old, like, he's got gray hair. He's fucking, you know, he's taking Cialis.

But getting to, like, truly love LeBron James when he's playing. It was a foreign concept for me because, like, he's. He's corny. He's. He's funny. When you watch him try to be, like, take himself super seriously sometimes. Whether he's reading all these books that he never gets past, like, page two of or, like, catching him in line.

Yeah. What is that always? What is the posing with the book.

He read the biography of Malcolm X, and then they asked him, like, what his favorite part was, and then he, like, pauses, like, you know, all of it. I just enjoyed all.

Yeah. Trump.

Yeah, yeah.

What's your favorite part of the Bible? My. All the passages.

I can't pick one. So, like, it's funny because he wants. He wants to be everything to everyone.

Yeah.

And the way he goes about that, it's an interesting insight into his mind.

Bkdev.

Yeah.

Be the dude who's all of us, who's just writing back to angry.

Yeah. It was just mad online all the, like, he wins a game, and then he's just calling out people's citizenship.

I loved it.

It's like, 03:00 a.m. and he's trolling Serbia.

I love.

They just beat him. I love that too. We love Katie now. But, like, getting to. Getting to root for LeBron James, it woke something up in me where I was like, maybe I've been a closeted, bronze sexual my entire life, and maybe now, like, I got to tell my dad, like, I got to tell my mom, and she's gonna be disappointed in me. And it's like, what is. What's this all about? Like, what are these new feelings that I'm feeling inside? But he's great. He's like, he's fun to root for when he's your guy.

Was. This is what we do, I think, the most. I think real sports fans, you don't root for the guy who's, like, the number one, who's the anointed. He's literally called king from when he was a rookie.

Yeah.

I felt this way with Kobe. I didn't like kobe until the end. I like co. It's like wrestling. They kind of reinvent themselves over time, and then you're kind of like, fuck Kobe. Went heel for a minute, then he was back. It was kind of like, by the end, I loved Kobe. Yeah, but, yeah, but it takes up. It takes a minute.

Mm hmm.

Yeah, you're in the moment. You're just like, fuck this guy. And then when he leaves, you're like, oh, it's weird now.

All my friends were like, kobe, look, Kobe's the man. So, like, no, fuck that. I'm a spree guy. I think T Mac is cool. I would, like, go for the other guys, you know?

Yeah, I. I don't want to.

What?

I think Kobe's. He's very overrated because he's rated so high. Like, he gets talked about like LeBron or Michael Jordan. I don't think he's in that.

That's a fair take. I mean, he was for that. It's tough. It's by era, really. Right. I mean, he was that errors greatest.

But he also, like, he wasn't the best player on the three P team.

No way.

I mean, Shaq was an absolute monster, but he.

But he went back to back.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, he was a.

I'm gonna get shit for that again. It's not because he's not great. It's because he gets talked in a group that I just don't know. There's, like a hollowed group of players that are in that upper, upper, upper echelon. I think he's right behind it.

Yeah.

He's also become a mindset where, like, if. If somebody goes out there and, like, in high school, they win, like, 120 to ten, you're like, that's that mamba mentality.

Yeah.

Like, Kobe or if somebody doesn't do so, if someone doesn't act like an asshole sometimes, like, Kobe would never do that.

Yeah. There's also moments where I do. I, like, I wish I. Kobe would have been there, like, at the. At the game on for the women's game.

He was ambassador for.

He would have. And he would have been, like, staring down the other team. Like, it would have been cool. Those moments, you know, isn't kind of.

Annoying when the guys in the bench are trying to hog the. Like, when they kept panning a mellow. I'm like, curry's the one hitting the shots.

Yeah. Joe Curry, although mellow calling plays, was sick.

Yeah, it was fun.

Yeah, yeah, he did.

I mean, mellow was the best when he was at his best. When he was on the Olympics, he.

Was a 6th man.

Yeah.

That's what's so funny about is, like, these dudes are coming off the bench. He's phenomenal.

I know.

Mellow is awesome. Olympic mellow was. Was the coolest mellow, I think.

Yeah. He just got passed by KD.

I like having Draymond there, too. Draymond should travel with the team.

Yeah, that was so.

He should be just so Gobert's like, dude, enough.

Like, you choked one.

Yeah. And you, like, every. And I'm a joke. Like, everyone laughs at me. Yeah, he. Draymond, just still twisting that knife.

Go bear. The hatred for Gobert really does remind me when, like, a hack comedian blows up too much.

Yeah.

And he gets paid too much money, and you're just like, fuck that guy. You didn't give a shit about him. Like, before he got paid, he was, like, an afterthought. But then he gets, like, really rich and, like, this guy fucking blows. And then he's like, I just took the money.

Yeah.

Like, you hate me for just taking the money, but we do.

Do you think. Do you think hack comedians, like, walk around knowing that everyone hates them?

Some of them, and some of them just drink their own Kool Aid? They. Yeah, they're like. I'm like, why would I get all this if I wasn't the greatest?

Yeah. Because that would be, like, pretty brutal imposter syndrome to walk around being like, everyone else in comedy hates me, but I'm selling out arenas.

Yeah. I mean, it's. There's worse lives.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're selling out arenas. You're probably having a good life.

Yeah. True. Yeah.

You can delude yourself in anything.

I don't really. I don't think Rudy Gobert should be unhappy.

No, no.

Although deep down, like, somewhere, he's probably like, man, I wish anyone respected me.

It sucks when all the bigs are shitting on you. Like, you know, Shaq and all these guys are like, this guy sucks. You know, and it's like. And you're kind of like, Shaq, you should be a little unbiased. This is, you know, but that's kind of funny that he's not. Draymond's hatred of him. It does stem from jealousy. That's the thing. It's like. Cause he's got four DPo, wise speaker, three.

I know. That's the problem is, like, you have that success. That's why you should just never have too much success, because then everyone's going to shit on you. Like, if he just had two defensive player of the years. Cause then he wins one, and then they go to the playoffs. It's like, this is your defensive player. The. Yeah, like, he should just give one back. He should say, I don't want it.

This year, that, you know, what if he takes himself out of it?

Yeah.

That's actually the smart.

That's what I would do if I were him.

He plays really well against shitty players.

Yeah.

Shitty offenses. And so he, like, pads his stats a little bit. Then sometimes the playoffs, you see him get exposed, and he gets cooked by good players. So just. Yeah, just let some shitty players get some more points against you this year. Take yourself out of the running that way.

Yeah, it's. And also. Yeah, he. I'm sure the french thing, for some reason, isn't helping. There's a lot of problems.

Oh, the french thing is always. We're always gonna hate french people.

And we will blame him for Covid, too. Kind of, like, wrong place, wrong time. But he.

Yeah, but he mocked it.

He came back, and he, like, touched every microphone, and then they're like, yeah, it turns out he did have Covid, and now we have to cancel all of basketball.

Yeah, well, I'm now thinking about. Wemby's gonna be a great test.

He's like.

They're like, how much do we hate french people?

No, he's already below.

Yeah, no, I'm saying, like, he's. He's gonna supersede that.

The fact that he cried, too, when they lost.

I love. I love that he's.

He's on. He's. Could be the best ever.

Yeah, no, I. It's a problem, I think.

Flag flags. Next up, the main event. I'm excited about that. I've already set my tanking watch on that. I want Cooper flag in DC.

That would be cool, man. You guys are making weird moves. The Valen shun us one.

I kind of. I like what we're doing, though, because we at least have a plan now. For years, the plan is basically tank and try to just turn everything over. But for years, it was like, you know, finish 10th in the east, and then maybe one year, we'll get in it as an eight seed, and we'll get hooked. But. But post John Wall, there hasn't been a lot of, like, actionable plan going on in DC, but we got the guy from Oklahoma City running the front office. He at least knows what he's doing. Then we got Kuzma and Jordan Pool, which I think are great players to have if you're trying to lose, you know, like, it. Give the keys to a franchise to Jordan Pool. Let him go out there and do his thing. And naturally, you will lose a shitload of games. He'll get his points. He'll go, like, ten for 40 shooting. But at least there's a plan now. That's all I can ask for.

That's fair. Yeah, I was. I was hammered at a game once, and I was just yelling at John Wall, and I was just like, man, you fucking. You got fat. You let yourself go. And he, and he turned and looked at me and I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. And then years later he writes this book about depression. I'm like, oh, I fucking hate myself.

Oh, he turned it on you.

I got a diary back, man.

Yeah, you were just being a good fan though.

I was trying to be a good cuz you, you. But I do notice them now when the people are going a little too hard. I'm like, I'm getting older cuz I'm. Yeah, that was kind of.

Yeah, take it down a notch.

Yeah.

If you become the take it down a notch guy, you're getting older. I mean, I've done it like at restaurants where I'm like, he turned down the music a little.

Yeah, I actually can't hear when every pill you take is a downer. You're like, whatever makes it tomorrow. Let's fucking wrap it up.

That kid getting in Lebron's face after they won the gold. Do you see that? He needs to take it down a notch.

Yeah.

What he did, well, he just went. He went up to LeBron on the streets of Paris and wanted a picture. And Lebron was like, not now, kid. And pushed him out of the way.

Wow.

And then he started dancing.

And then he started dancing. So people that hate LeBron James will be like, look what a disgusting human being LeBron James is. Michael Jordan would never treat a child like that. Michael Jordan was kind to every kid that he ever met in his entire life.

I've found so some, like, really good hater LeBron accounts that I follow just so I can get my hate up.

So, yeah, I'm not a fan. I've never been a guy. Look, he's a. I love that he's on Team USA and I root from there, but I'm not a LeBron guy.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's basically. It's. It's probably the most, like, cut and dry. Either you're a bronze sexual or you're not. Like, there aren't people. Like, some people are both. I'm still waiting for year 21.

He's on the coming old stripes.

It's like your college years.

They need to. Yeah, I mean, experimenting with LeBron right now, I always told I was taught growing up naturally, you're supposed to love the Washington Wizards. A man loves the Washington Wizards. And I've thought that I've loved the Washington Wizards, but now I tried LeBron, and I think I like LeBron.

Yeah, you went pretty fun. You went abroad for a couple weeks and then came back and you're like, I kind of like that.

Add another stripe to the flag for us. Bronze. Sexual representation matters.

It's just, I hate the Lakers, too. That's another part of the problem is, like, it's just an unlikable franchise. And. And I've always felt that way. I mean, look, it was in looking back, they're great for the sport, obviously. Kobe, Shaq, those years are awesome.

But, like, have you had any, like, self reflection where you're like, the Lakers are the Yankees?

Of course.

Okay. Cuz, like, that's the, the two franchises that do the. Oh, he'll be a Laker soon. Oh, he'll be a Yankee some. Yeah, that's the two, like, shining examples of it where they. And they're usually right. Where they're like, oh, yeah, free agent will come here.

Yeah. Now the Yankees, it is complicated for me because I grew up, because my grandfather was a Yankees fan, so I grew up just watching, like, Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neill on his lap, you know?

Yeah.

Then you get older and everyone's like, these are the fuck. And you're like, it's too late. Yeah, I'm a fan.

Yeah. Yeah.

And the Yankees history is awesome.

Yeah, it is. Especially all the World Series they won before they let black players play.

It's a lot of them. Yeah.

They're really good now, though.

I was watching a Babe Ruth documentary, and it was. And it was literally just old white men who were just like. It was like one sentence about how he walked out in his wife and adopted kid, and it was like, he walked out on this family. Babe Ruth was one of the kindest people I've ever been around. You know, he was. He was a gentleman. I'm like, can you just say he walked? That was one sentence.

Yeah.

Every other sentence was like, what he did for those cancer stricken children was the lord's work.

Have you seen the theory that Babe Ruth could possibly be dominican? I love that one. He looks a little bit. Yeah, right. And it's just like, this would. This would throw, like, all the old sports writers into a tizzy, being like, yeah, he was dominican.

It's so the sports writers. It's such a weird, because I watched the Pete Rose doc, too, and it is weird. I mean, clearly Pete Rose is not a good human. Like, if you want to keep hall of Fame out of the hall of Fame, do it for the statutory rape, not the gambling.

Yeah.

That's a weird line to draw on the sand. Like, you got Ty cobbin, who's pushing pregnant women downstairs.

Although Ty Cobb had a little bit of a, like, when. Who was it? Oh, is when they brought all the negro league, like, records into MLB. And there was a lot of, like, Ty Cobb discourse and I had no idea, but, like, Ty Cobb essentially got completely slandered by this one writer who wrote a biography about him that just made up shit. Like, everything.

You beat his wife?

He. Yeah, but, like, there's a, like, the beating, like a handicap person and, like, him being, like, a crazy racist. Like, none of that was true, which is nuts.

Wait, did he. Did he like Babe Ruth?

I don't know.

That'll tell us. He was dominican or not.

But it was. It was eye opening to be like, wait, how did this happen that, like, one person wrote a book about Ty Cobb and then we just were told Ty Cobb was one of the worst humans ever?

Yeah.

And a lot of it was just made up. Not saying, he's a good. I'm not. I'm not, you know, vouching for Ty Cobb. It was crazy to read about it and be like, wait, this guy just made up a lot of stuff.

That's what you could do as a writer in the old days, right?

He had a vendetta.

I'll destroy you in my column. Yeah, that was the power. I mean, there's. There's a story about Joe DiMaggio, like, leaving a hotel room after he just banged someone. And he sees, I think, was Walter windshall on the. On the street. And he just looked at him like, fuck, this guy's gonna write a piece on me. I'm gonna get trash. Or, like, poon hunting on the road. And he just looked at him. He goes, win today and I won't write about this. And they won.

He played the best game.

Pretty cool having your biggest hater become your biographers. An all time bad move. Bad move. I don't want that. Yeah, but credit to that guy for at least, like, having a vendetta and, like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna ruin this guy for the rest of eternity.

Yeah, if you. If you pulled a hundred, like, sports fans, like, tycob bad guys, like, yeah, the worst.

I bet he wasn't a good.

No, that's what I'm saying. I'm not vouching for him. But I just. It was crazy to read it and be like, wait, this guy made up a lot of these stories that we walk around being like, you know, Ty Cobb would go. Spikes up on everyone.

Yeah, that's. Is that not true.

I think a lot of it is made up.

I don't know. I feel like most good players would try to, like, Spike, the second baseman back then.

Yeah.

You wasn't just him.

Yeah. And there was also that story, you know, the Mickey mantle story about when he got head underneath the, the right field bleachers.

Is that true?

Yeah, he wrote like, a thank you note or something. What was the exact story about?

Look that up, because that was Darryl.

Strawberry for some reason back in the.

Day, like sports writers, we were told growing up that, like, baseball is the most poetic sport. They wrote about it in the most, like, flowery terms ever. Like, a day at the ballpark is nothing like anything else you'll ever experience. They wrote about all the baseball players like they were gentlemen. No. Mickey Mantle was getting his dick sucked underneath the right field bleachers in Yankee Stadium.

Oh, yeah.

During a game.

So the Yankees hit up Mickey mantle and were like, the 50th anniversary is coming up. Can you please write something about being a Yankee and the prompt washing. I consider the following my outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium. And he wrote, I got a blowjob under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bullpen. And then this event occurred on or about.

He got sucked off by all the middle.

He said it was about the third inning. Third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn't focus at the time. She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum after I came in her mouth. I said, don't ask me. I'm no cocksucker. Wow. American poetic.

Yeah.

I don't know. Is that true that, that's got to be a real letter, right?

Pretty crass for don't ask me.

I'm not a cox.

Oklahoma boy.

Yeah. What a line. Yeah. Oh, man. Doing it. There's a star next to, he'd signed it, Mickey Mantle star. And then underneath the star, he starred and said, the all american boys.

I love that.

Had a sense of humor.

Yeah.

So are they back or the Yankees fully back?

I don't know, man. It's hard to tell that that trade was pretty big, you know? But I don't know, man. I, pitching is everything in the playoffs, so we'll see.

Yeah, it feels like the Yankees just do the same thing every year.

Yeah.

Million home runs, and they get to the playoffs like shit.

Those are never the teams that win at all. Except maybe the Astros have a lot of power, but they have pitching, too.

Yeah.

And they do the little things, too.

Yeah. We'll see.

Yeah. Cheating.

Baseball is such a weird sport where you can be by far the best team, and then in the playoffs, it's just about who's hot at that.

Yeah, but hockey is the same way.

Yeah, hockey.

You're a big hockey guy.

You get a hockey goalie standing on his head, then any team can win.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Baseball playoffs, it's like pitching, and then if you get, like, two guys that just catch fire to nowhere, then it's like we saw the Diamondbacks in World Series last year.

Yeah.

Crazy shit happens.

Yeah.

But it is fun to see, like. Like, yankees do the same thing, get to the playoffs, same thing happens. Aaron Boone. Okay. Come back next year.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah. I wonder how long they're going to let him hold the reins. You know?

He's got blackmail. He's got. Him and Cashman have to have black. I feel like I've been hearing about them getting fired every year for the last five years.

You just don't want to waste Aaron judges prime because this is fucking insane. Yeah. And he's just a beast.

Yeah. All right, well, Sam, this has been awesome. I got a robot question. Last question. Rho back.com promo code. Take 20% off your first purchase. Cusps, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com. we were talking about it earlier, but for people who don't know, one of my favorite things that Sam does, he goes on, like, local early morning talk shows, news shows. And just bombs on purpose.

Yeah.

So are we worried that it's getting too big, that it's gonna be like, you can't do this anymore?

Yeah, for sure. I mean, you said it, you know, back there, you're like, you have to go international. I've tried. It's not a big thing. Internationally. I'm trying. I'm doing Baltimore tv this week, so I hope. I hope I.

Fingers crossed.

Yeah. It's tough, though. You got to have the getaway car waiting for. You got to have the car outside. Like I always say, it's like a bank robbery.

So. So when did it start?

Pittsburgh is where it started. Because I was, like, in a bad mood. I. When you're a young comic, you're required to do morning tv. It's in the contract. They don't give you a door deal. So you're like, this is just for the club that they're making me do it. I don't see another cent from this.

So you.

After you do it for, like, a decade, you start to get a little bitter. And I was kind of like, you know what? Fuck this. So in the middle of it, I just kind of snap. They never do research. It's always like, the corniest shit. No one who's watching this is going to come to my show, right? Like, you know, people who are like, you know, soccer moms or something who just will not find me funny. So it's like, the only way this is selling tickets is if I just burn a hole. So I think the question she asked was, so when did you first catch the funny bug? Have you always been funny? And I was like, no, but when I was young, I was molested by my uncle. And he was funny. So I kind of caught the powers, like in Spider man. And she just kind of paused and was like, okay, I don't know what to do with that. And I left. And I remember asking them for the tape, the producer, and she just looked at me. She goes, get out now.

You've been doing it. Like, I see the clips. They're so fucking fun.

I realized, like, people started sharing that to the point I was like, I guess I should do that. I guess I'm doing morning tv. And then it just got bad every time to the point that I was like, I guess I'll just keep doing this.

Is there an arts of bombing?

Yeah, it's fun. It's, you know, I mean, look, there's no really killing on those shows either.

There's no.

Right? So it's just like, I'm kind of. I'm playing for whoever's watching. I'm not playing for who's in the room. But they don't want. I've noticed, though, they don't want you to come off as like, they're the guy there. They don't. The guys are the more insecure ones. The women are usually really cool, but the guys are kind of like, no, I'm the big. I'm the big shot around here. I'm the funny one. Yeah, you see them try to be funny. You're like, you ain't the funny one, I'll tell you that.

Yeah.

So I remember going on there and just rattling them and saying shit they can't say. So I'm like, you know, if I'm making, like, a pedo joke on, like, you know, some NBC affiliate in Philadelphia, the guy's like, what the fuck is happening? Like, I can't do that. So it just started taking off. I don't know. It's. It's weird.

It's. It's the perfect bit, too, because the, like, those people, those broadcasters are trained to smile through everything.

Exactly.

And, like, they have to be cheery, and they have to be bubbly. And then you just drop like, yeah, I was. I was raped by my uncle. And there just have to be like.

Oh, there were people who thought that was true. Someone, like, messaged me. Like, hell, yeah. Speaking truth to power, taking your pain and making it funny. I'm like, that's not true. I was trying to ruin Spider man.

Part of it.

People thought it was real. Yeah. And then, yeah, it's. It's just funny that they have to be so scripted. Like, they. Anything that's off script on those shows is like. They're like, what do I do?

Right? Used to. They panic.

So. So it's just funny to watch it go off the rails so good. I have a publicist who's, like, losing sleep over these because I can't book them. I can't cold email them. So she gets the hate. She get. They'll be like, why'd you do this?

Send this guy here?

But the funny thing is, they don't remember. She's like, now you're ruining it for my clients who, like, take it seriously, who want to go on. She'll email them a month later, and they'll be like, we had some guy come on a month ago and pretend that Columbus, Ohio, has a human trafficking crisis, and he wouldn't let it go. And she's like, that's disgusting. Someone would, and they just let her know. Other clients, no one remembers. So, you know, it ends up working out. But. But she's. Yeah, she just messaged me. She's like, I've upped my Xanax. What are you gonna do? People get mad. I did one in Buffalo from the Delta lounge. I put, like, duct tape over Gary Veeder, who tours with me's mouth, and I pretended he's my gimp sec slave. And I just kept saying, like, he's not my gimp sex slave. The guy in Buffalo was like, all right, well, that's the segment for today. Like, he just. They abruptly cut it off. And then Rachel Feinstein, who's like, one of my best friends was in Buffalo. And he's like, do you know Sam Morell? She's like, oh, he's like, my best friend.

He's like, I hate that guy. He brought a gimp sex slave on the segment. I was like, oh, yeah, you can't tell these people that we're friends. They. They all hate me.

Clearly.

Said he wasn't his.

Clear.

You weren't listening. But, yeah, so then we do. We do that and then it's like the thing I look forward to most my comic friends, like, Stavros is always like, what are you doing waking up at 07:00 a.m. after a gig? And I'm like, I've learned to love it. Yeah, it's.

It's like a challenge.

Yeah, I love it a lot. It will. It will sometimes just not work at all. But when the, for the times it does work, it's. It's. It's worth burning a hole in the room.

Yeah, definitely.

Are you do that in the Netherlands?

I wonder if I can get on stuff. International is tougher. I tried to do it in because, look, when they roll with me, sometimes it's great, too, you know, if they just play. There's a woman for Texas who just, she got it and she played along and it was funny. Her, like, straight manning me to everything I said. But then we tried in Australia and they didn't really. They were too big of fans of it that it didn't work. Like, they were like, yeah, cheering me on. What's not funny when you guys are, like, doing, you know. Yeah, but, yeah, they're, they're not as scripted as american tv. That's all the comments are like, what is this that you guys do in America? I was like, oh, I didn't know this wasn't a thing. So good in the UK or whatever. But, yeah, Australia is more just like all the news.

Yeah.

You know?

Oh, so, you know, go ahead.

Oh, no, I mean, you go on, like, I would go on, like, MSNBC and stuff, and it would be like, guys who are, you know, big and they don't want you to, like, I'd go like, ari melbourne, he would just like, like, he would, like, set me up for a joke and then just, like, watch it bomb and just, like, stare at me and be like, so why is that funny? I'd be like, well, apparently it's not. I don't, I don't think it's. I guess it wasn't. I don't know. And he just like, huh? It's like, they don't want. It's weird. Like, they want you on and then they kind of, like, try to psychoanalyze. They don't know how to deal with jokes because he live. So I think, you know, then I just, like, went into Epstein jokes and he was like, all right, let's go to break. You know, but, yeah, cuz if you're.

Hosting a morning show, if you're hosting a tv show. Your job is usually not to be an audience.

Exactly.

So then all of a sudden he's supposed to just, like, laugh and be a normal human being?

I would hope so. Yeah, I guess he isn't. Yeah.

It's just not programmed for that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Sam, thank you so much. Yeah. Everyone go see where we're gonna probably air this in the next week and a half.

Okay.

So where are you going after Baltimore?

Well, yeah, I got. I'm in New Brunswick, New Jersey, working on new jokes at the stress factory. Then I got Ontario casino, and then. And then I'm off to Europe. All over Europe. So Paris, Amsterdam, London, Belfast, Dublin, Copenhagen. I don't got it.

I got.

We got to see you on international tv.

I don't know if you guys have good listenership in Oslo, but I'm.

We do.

We do.

My fucking numbers there stink. Oswald.

Come on, Oswald, let's go.

And then. And then. Yeah, and I got the new special. You've changed on Amazon prime. It's one of my favorite ones I've done, so I hope you guys like it.

It's perfect. Cuz all of our fans do have Amazon prime because we got to watch football.

Fuck, yeah.

Yeah. So it's a perfect marriage there. All right. Thanks so much. I appreciate it.

Thank you, guys.

Sam was brought to you by our great friends at Mountain Dew. Love Mountain Dew. We got a big cooler of mountain Dew right here. I was drinking some code reds earlier today. I was drinking code reds and Baja blast yesterday. Had an OG Mountain Dew around the campfire at night last night. Mountain Dew is great. It helps us get off our ass. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass. You got bold flavors. A refreshing citrus kick. Mountain Dew will get you off your ass. Have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain mountain where the weather is always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportions awaits. Nothing like an ice cold mountainous dew. It quenches your thirst like no other. It's exactly what your body wants. If it's a hot summer day, grab a mountain dew. Do up. Just do it. Do the dew. The mountain's calling. You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab an ice cold mountain dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold. And do the dew. Fyre Fest is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan, welcome back. It's another fyre fest of the week. It's brought to you by our great friends at Morgan and Morgan.

You know what really stinks? Sitting next to a guy who's farting the entire time. It literally stinks. It's a stinky thing to do, stinky thing to experience. You know what else really sucks? Having your boys all go at you because you're trying to give to charity. But you know, that's the cross that you bear sometimes when you're trying to be a charitable person. But you know what doesn't stink? Calling Morgan. Morgan. They can help get you what you deserve. They can't help a cranky co host that tries to drag you down into the depths of oblivion through, through a sour mood. But they can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when you're injured. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to for the people.com PMT or dial pound law. Pound 529 from your cell phone.

Okay. Fyre Fest of the week time. Hank, breaking news. Oh, breaking. What do we got?

We have a trade. An interdivisional, inter podcast trade.

There's been a trade.

A rare in division trade. Washington.

Matthew Giudon to the Bears.

Washington is sending former first round pick Jahan Dotson and a fifth round pick to the Eagles in exchange for a 2025 3rd round pick and two 7th round picks per sources. Ooh, fleeced.

What do we think, Matt?

Commanders got fleeced.

Agreed.

What, what round did you draft him in?

We drafted in the first round.

And what, what did you get back?

Not a lot last year.

What did you get back?

Had a bad season last year. Apparently hasn't looked at in train camp.

Who's his quarterback?

We got Martavis Bryant, Sam Howell.

Okay.

Yeah.

We got Martavis Bryant.

Now I'm excited. Wait. Yeah. Martavius Bryant hasn't played in the league in like ten years.

Yeah, when he did that, that somersault catch.

I have a question, though. Pft. Wouldn't you want your rookie quarterback to have more weapons?

We got plenty of weapons.

Okay.

Martin, Martin, Martin Bryant.

That would be the only part that would make me nervous.

Martin away.

A wide receiver.

I like Jahad Dotson, a Penn State fan who's a beast of Penn State.

Good.

Wide receiver, three. Give up a third, get back a fifth.

You need a wide receiver. Three too.

Big time.

Yeah.

So wide receiver, three for a third round pick. That sounds like a good deal to me.

Me? Well, he was your what? Wide receiver. Was he for you?

But we can't. Well, he was fighting for the second spot. No fight. He was not guaranteed that seconds. But he was like a competition. He was, I think, losing that competition.

To, let's see this.

Bryan, Martavis Bryant, possibly? No, it's actually a former eagle, Zacchaeus.

So we got rid of him.

Yeah.

And he was our fourth last year.

Yeah. And now we got him, and he's thriving in our system. Yep.

Pleased, please.

Somebody got Fleece?

Yep. Someone got Fleece? We'll find out.

We're not gonna find out until the end of the season who got fleece. But this, I can tell that this was a. Between this and the Cooper, the Cooper.

Degene trade, like, where someone's gonna get flee.

We're fleecing the Eagles big time. You bunch of bald eagles over there got flee so hard.

That's good.

Thank you.

It's so bad in here. Hank, your firefighter, west.

Hmm.

Thought about that.

No, I mean, I have a few. It's been. It's been remedied, so I don't know that it really counts. It was over the weekend also. Been just sleeping in, like, a hard shell taco this week. It's been fun, but it's camp. Like, you can't really complain about camp. That's just kind of what you get.

Hard shell taco.

I mean, my bed is literally concave.

No, that is broken. His bed is.

There was all their beds in our bunk.

That's true.

Just slept on a different bed.

Or you could have swapped the beds. But, yeah, the first day, and he's like, is your bed, like, inverted?

Like this?

And I went and I looked at it, and it literally looked like the trampoline yesterday. Like, the middle of it was just sinking to the floor.

You sleeping in a taco?

I think there were, like, three other mattresses that weren't being used.

I don't think was the mattress. I think it was the frame. The frame? Yeah.

You've had trouble.

It was ultimate, like, I'll fix it tomorrow. Then by the time it's bedtime, I was gay. I'll just sleep on it. So it's really my own fault.

You sleep on a bed that had fucked up slats for, like, nine months.

Yeah, for, like, three months. I actually found that picture the day. It wasn't even the slats. It was the construction of the bed that's neither here nor there.

Who made the bed?

Me. I was basically sleeping, like, in, like, downwards. Like, I was doing, like, declined. Sleeping with blood just rushing to my head every night. I also had an issue with my stove over the weekend that I, like. It wasn't working. It had an error message, you know, gave me the number to call, so I called and they told me I had to mess with my, you know, circuit. Circuit breaker board. And my circuit breaker board wasn't labeled, so the lady was just having me turn things on. Turn things off. I finally fixed the stove. Accidentally killed all the power in my bedroom hallway and, like, the AC, so I didn't have. And then no one was working my building till Monday, so I had to sleep, like, in my living room on the couch with a fan, like, at my face for two nights.

Jesus, Hank.

But I fix it all. Yeah, we fix it.

So you just haven't been. You've been sleeping either in, like, a room with a fan or in a taco.

Yeah. So I'm excited to get back tonight and sleep normally.

Get that. Get that AC bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Pft.

My fyre fest of the week is. I mean, it's been a fun week. I don't have a lot to complain about because going to summer camp is. It's fun. And getting to hang out with boys and basically just play. Play sports all day. Competitive games all day.

Yep.

Has been a great time. The first night we got here, we got in a little bit late, and it was myself. It was actually all of PMT. And then the Boston guys came in with us. So we get to our bunks, we set up, I believe. Hank, were you passing out mouth tape or was big cat passing up?

Not me.

Will compton. I was too.

I saw a mouth tape. Yeah.

So, everybody, I did not use mouth tape. I'm afraid, like, I'm asleep. I sneeze. I don't know what that's gonna be like. I don't want tape my mouth before I go to sleep. But everybody had it. We're going to bed, and we're all sending pictures in the group chat to each other of us with mouth tape on. Fast forward a couple days. We're watching hard knocks, and there was one tv that was set up. We're seated in this very, very dark room. All the lights were out. Just the tv was on. And it was a lot of people from Barstool and a lot of people that are counselors here at the camp that were watching hard knocks with us. And during that hard knocks, I was posting a picture that I just taken of the tv with Caleb Williams on it with us, interviewing Caleb to promote the show. Being like, tomorrow's part of my take. And I'm taking out my phone. I'm going through my photos to select those pictures. And there's some other photos that are in my phone that are saved right next to it. The guy, one of the counselors looks over my shoulder at my phone as I'm selecting the pictures of Caleb from hard knocks, and he's staring at my phone, and then he's looking at me.

I'm like, oh, shit. He saw something else. So when we're passing it, when we're sending all these pictures from the mouth tape incident on Tuesday night to each other, I respond to the group chat with a picture of my balls.

And I said, naked balls?

Naked balls. And I said, oh, shit, guys, I think I just got bit by a bug.

Mm hmm.

Classic bit with the boys. But the counselor that was sitting next to me just saw, like, three pictures because I had to get the lighting right. He saw three pictures of my balls on my phone, and he just thinks that I've got nudes for days saved on my phone.

Of your balls?

Of my balls.

Never look at another man's.

And he gave. He gave me quite a look. It was partially confused, like, hey, I was turned on. I would be like, oh, he didn't touch my leg or anything afterwards. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But it was a little bit embarrassing for me. So I guess if that's the worst thing that happened to me this week, that's not that bad. Some guy just thinks that I have a lot of pictures. My balls on my phone.

Yeah.

Which he doesn't realize you sent it to your boys.

It was. It was to send to other men. It's not like I'm gay or anything.

Yeah, it was a very funny picture. Okay. I'm gonna seed my firefight because I've had a great time this week. I had nothing bad happen. Knock on wood. We were on hard knocks. We've been at summer camp. Can't complain. Living the dream. Got a blessed life. I'll see my fyre fest. To my good friend Max. Max, have you. Do you have a fire fest this week?

Yeah, I got a little bit of, like, a call from. From the camp, I think.

Yeah. What about when you were competing in any of the events? Did you take anything too serious and then have your team win? So you were the guy who shoved the ref in a win?

No, I actually. Yeah.

What happened?

Because saying it all week that we, like, don't get. Think about it. Like, if you get too competitive, you're gonna regret it. You're gonna regret it. I had the most instant regret I think I've ever had in my time here at barstool.

There's a line. Yeah, there's a line. When we do these events or these activities where I get competitive, everyone should be competitive. But if you take it too far, you then come across as the guy who's just being a hard.

Oh, I smashed that line. Like absolutely smashed it. And it was one of those things where I smash it so far hard. And then I took like 30 seconds and it was like, holy shit. What? What did I just do?

So explain to the people, okay, this.

Is what happened where it was the final event. It was the. The championship of the week.

Yep.

Some may say there is some tactics to get it. To get in my head. There were some taxes tactics to get in the referee's head. I think the person who was doing those tactics did a good job of getting in both parties heads, which he's.

Referring to me in this situation. I somehow got into both their heads with one sentence.

Yep, yep, it's very true. I thought the referee was taking the words from big cat and purposely trying to screw you, screw me over. And I.

Was a throw Max egg and basically recreated the Billy football with football when he just spice shoved spiked the ball.

Max, what were you so upset about?

He thought he got a bad. So what happened was the recall throwing them good enough. Rico had to throw eggs to Max. And as the event was about to start, I said to Rico, cause I was on the other team, I said, rico, remember all the things we talked about this morning? And then I was basically the uncle from the godfather to showing up to the courtroom just being like, hey, I'm here. And Max was like, well, Rico, don't you take your integrity as a ref very seriously. And I just yelled, he takes his career even more serious. And then it was just on. The two of them were locked in mental warfare that I had started. And Max pushed Rico, yelled at him, threw an egg at him.

The egg.

And they ended up winning.

Yeah.

So Max, basically, it boils down to the fact that Rico was throwing eggs too high into the air.

Play the clip and they're far.

Then you shove them.

Sound of the clip. Of the end of the clip, Max. Oh, don't take off the headphones, Max. Bullshit. Max was putting his. He was putting his fingers in his ears like a toddler at dinner last night when we kept on playing. Look at him right now. He looks like a fire trucks coming.

I mean, that's fucking horseshit.

You know, he got so italian. That's horse. And you got a horseshit if you.

Know it was horseshit.

I'm sorry. I think I've apologized Rico, like 60 times in the past day. And to be. To his credit, he didn't care at all.

He was like.

He was like, dude, I didn't mean to throw him that far. I was like, dude, I'm apologized. Like, I overreacted so much. He was like, I didn't mean to throw him that far. Like, I'm just tired. I'm like, me and Rico are good.

I. Rico is like, game. Respect. Game. I know where you come from, I would have done the same thing.

Yeah. So I think that was something that I regret very deeply. I've been super anxious about it the past.

You're fine, Max.

24 hours. And it's just. Just so I'm gonna have to just.

If anyone should apologize, should be me for getting in both your heads with one simple sentence. No, I'm not going to apologize, but if anyone should, it would be me.

But you're. That. That was your. I said that. That was your Magna Carta.

Yeah.

Just like me and Rico, like, the two people.

Wait, what?

That was his what?

Magna Carta.

Is that right there?

Magnum opus, Magnolia.

I was the joker just walking by.

Is that whole, though I was Magna Carta?

Holy grail. I was throwing a lit match right in between the two of them, and they both just were on fire, yelling at each other.

Well, he didn't yell, to his credit.

He just threw eggs. Crazy.

Yeah, the eggs were thrown high into the air.

It's not.

It was playing.

Why you got mad?

I know.

You're mad because Rico threw bad eggs.

Yeah, I know.

That's.

It's so bad in a game.

Winning. Yeah. All right, huey, wrap us up.

My fire fest is.

I haven't taken a shit since I've gotten here. What? I don't know what's going on. What? I don't know what's going on.

I've eaten every day three meals that.

Snacks.

Don't know what's going on. Is your body just telling you like this is. You're in a bad place right now. We need to consider maybe. Maybe you're operating so efficiently that you're not. I've done this as a kid before.

Where we've gone on trips, and I just. I'll pee fine. Everything else works for, like, four days. Oh, I forgot to say, too, one of the craziest things that came out of camp was, I don't know if you saw this, pft. But I think it happened multiple times. If you walked by on the basketball court, it was just memes and Shane playing two on one versus huey and it was insane to watch. They got up Sherman one. It was just. They were just, like, bullying him. Like, he would never touch the ball because it was two on one. The editors look like they are Harlem Globetrotter. I mean, it was. He was just floundering around, trying to stick. And, like, I walked by, actually, before last night when memes literally was like, hugh, you ready for some two on one? Like, they're still doing this.

Yeah, it's a sport.

It was so funny.

It's like a time game. How quickly can you get to eleven points against Hughie? Yeah, I won one of the games.

What will you be? And I was within one shot on three of them. What? So how I could shoot. Oh, every time I would shoot it, I yell, Kate. Katelyn.

Because I. I'm her.

All right, so, Hughie, you got a shit, man.

Yeah.

On this bus.

I ate some fruit this morning.

Seemed to have done more damage than. Than anything I've eaten so far. So. Have you shit?

No, not yet, but I. Have you had coffee? No, I'm not a coffee guy. Drink some coffee.

That would probably. Yeah. New to my system. Yeah.

If you drink a cup of coffee and you've never drank coffee, it's gonna run through you like. Like it's going through a goose. I'm also a little scared of these.

Bathrooms, and I don't know if that's just. They're fine.

Yeah, they're okay. Now, I understand what. Hughie, I think your body is just anxious. I think since you know that you're away from home base, there's a comfortability. There's comfortability. Your body knows to shut it down until you get back into, like, a situation where you're comfortable pooping.

Yeah, something's up, but we'll be all right.

Huey, you want to finish this cup of coffee? It's just a little bit of coffee. Sure, I'll give it a. I'll give it a shot. Okay, well, we got it. We got heavy shitting, huey.

Yeah, we do.

It's part of your job description. Give him a sticker when he's done.

Okay. Next week, football week. Fully. Fully. I know there's four games Saturday, which we'll talk about on Monday, but full football week, we're going to prep everyone for week one of college football. We got some great guests lined up, so let's kick it to ourselves. Back in studio with numbers.

Love you guys.

Okay, let's wrap up the week. Let's do some numbers. 56.

820.

Go.

97.

Pug.

Juan.

21. What was that?

One.

Juan. Juan.

Juan.

What is that?

I think it's 86. 86?

You thought it was 56.

No, I thought it was 98. Yeah, I forgot he did 97. Max, mad men mean I don't think about you. Okay?

I mean, you literally only pick my two numbers.

No, they're start. Whoa. They're my two.

And you start off every single one of these asking if I've ever gotten it.

Have you ever gotten numbers? I've never got. I've never gotten the lottery ball. No, not on this machine.

The lottery ball is all that matters. And you know that. You know that.

I got the number.

Love you guys. Come on, Harry.

We want to say good night to you. What I say I say find you shine away I'm coming for your love.

Of keep take on me.

Take me say after me it's the best take on me take me on I'll be gone all the things that we say.

Take on me.

Take me home.

I begun.