Let's not shout. It's really- Because you're attacking me.

I'm not attacking you. You might say I'm on the edge.

Yeah, I'm opening up. We all feel-Wow.

Guys, so the question of the week this week was, what traumatized you as a kid? I've only got a few, but I'll also read some off the Twitter responses as well. So what traumatized you as a kid? My mother.

That's it.That's it.Damn, no context.

No context. Just my mother. Mom traumatized me.

We've been there. Everyone knows. That's why there's no context needed. Everyone just knows.

Everyone just knows.

Damn.

My brother used to lock me in a closet and make me wear plastic bags over my head. Oh, fuck.

Jesus.

Crazy stuff. Crazy stuff.

Did I ever tell you, man, that me and my brother used to hold knives to each other?

Yeah.

I I think so.

Oh, yeah, you did. We've already did. We'll get into a role play.

Until you like, Hey, it's not me.

Yeah, and then until you touch his T-shirt and he'll be like, Stop, stop, stop. Then you'll be there like, I can't, you're just going to tell me to fucking stop. You're going to tell me to I thought. And then we're like, No, no, no, seriously, seriously. You might have been crazy. And then we'll swap places. Yeah, it's ridiculous because we'd be there. There's a robot in Futurama, right? There's a robot in Futurama drama where he's obsessed with stabbing people, yeah? And he put him in robot prison, and he always goes, Yeah. And he sits in prison with a knife. And there's an episode where they put Fry in a jail cell with him, and he's just trying to stab Fry, bro. And Fry is up all night trying not to get stabbed. We used to pretend to be the stabby robot. Yeah, that's what we used to do as kids. Fucking weird, bro.

Jesus Christ, bro. You man said entertainment by necessary. By any means necessary.

Yeah, mom never let us have sky or anything there. So this is what we were doing.

Playing with knives.

Yeah, literally playing with kitchen knives, pretending to stab each other.

Wow. To be fair, no wonder your imagination is crazy. That's all you man had. All you man had was imagination.

Bro, literally. It's facts. Wow.

What traumatized you as a kid? When I went to grab the remote to then realize it wasn't the remote, it was my dad's.

Hard It's hard. Is that what she's saying? He or she is saying.

I'm just saying to grab the dad's to talk. It doesn't have to be hard.

It wasn't a remote. Just now, bro, it's a scream from both parties. Facts. Facts. Oh, God.

It's like a sky remote.

A sky remote's girfy. That's wide. Wow.

Jesus Christ.

My dad's sake. You for that sake. When my mom would threaten us with, wait until the guests are gone. See now.

The fear that will run through your bones.

Wait until the guests have gone.

We beg them to stay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You be begger them.

Do you want another- Yeah, it's deep over. Yeah, some. My uncle slapped with a wet dead fish? I don't know how and I don't know why.

That's disgusting.

That's traumatic. It's what it is. My mom's gambling addiction. Wow.

Oh my God. It's tough. I love when we do these questions, but Sometimes it just gets too real.

Yeah, it exposes the reality of it.

A trauma, my mom's gambling addiction. They say gambling addiction is worse than any other addiction. I don't know how you measure addiction.

Yeah, facts.

But they say in terms of the damage it does to households and families, gambling is the one. You're on the edge.

I'm far from the edge of gambling.

What the fuck? I'm not saying you're on the edge of having a gambling addiction, but I've seen you gamble.

How often do I gamble?And you get thirsty. I gamble once or twice a year, bro.

Yeah, I know, but When I say you're on the edge, I'm saying it's good that you do once or twice a year. Let's not shout. It's really-Because you're attacking me.

I'm not attacking you. You might say I'm on the edge.

Yeah, I'm opening up. We all feelWow. I do. We can say we've seen you at a roulette table and it's a site.

It is.

It is. It is a sight. I'm not an addict.

We've seen you say, Hold this money, don't let me have it.

And then five minutes later, I'm running back my money.

Yeah, give me my money. It's my money. It's my money. Facts because it is. Then five minutes after that, you're at the ATM.

I regret nothing. I don't understand. I'm still here, aren't I? I regret nothing.

My family is safe. My friends are safe. Yeah, let's calm. I regret nothing. I apologize. I didn't mean to be rude. That's fine.

What traumatized you as a kid? A rooster was pecking my four-year-old's toes, so my dad cut his head off in front of me. Wow. That would do numbers to my brain. Yeah. Num.

I bet they made it eat it as well.

A hundred %. A hundred %. Not me, but my sister. I pinned her against a stone wall one day and convinced everyone she's an alien. I convinced everyone is an alien and she's the only human to exist. To this day, she still questions her existence and if life is real, it's been more than 20 years.

Pinned her up against a wall. I said, Shut up.

Listen. Everyone else is an alien.

It's me and you. Everyone else is a fucking alien.

She talked 20 years later. She still-Play it cool.

Play it cool is jokes. She doesn't know what reality is.

Play it cool is jokes. Waking up in the middle of the night because I thirsty and walking in on my parents' mid-stroke.

I thought about this, yeah, a little while ago. I was watching Apocalypse.Movie. Yeah, literally. I think I've seen it twice. I've seen it four times.

Fuck, this is a movie. Yeah. Well, gives me what I was doing.

When these man used to live in these little huts in them thing there, your mom and dad are just banging in it, and you're just there.

I don't think about that, but facts, that's the case. Yeah, there's no rooms.

Because I remember there's a scene in there where one brother is trying to get his girl pregnant, and I'm sure he's struggling to get his girl pregnant, and her mom is like, get in there and fuck her. Yes. I need a grandchild. He comes out. Yeah, he comes out.

He has to go back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's like, get in there and fuck her, bro. Oh, my God. I was thinking, look at this. This is small, and there's uutes around. People are just banging. It's just part of the culture.

Yeah, it literally part of the culture. It's literally part of the culture, bro. Mid-stroke. Mid-stroke is crazy.

I couldn't hear my dad say... You couldn't what? I hear my dad say... Fuck. You hear me in the doorway.

Is that I'm going to have a fist for fuck as well with a hard F.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, that's all I've got, man. That's all I've got. Jesus Christ.

Deary, deery me.

Let us know what traumatized you as a kid. Let's have some fun with it.

Yeah, man. Childhood is traumatic, man. It really is. It really is. It's tough out there. What traumatized me as a kid was...

God, where do we start? I used to get PTSD every time I heard my parents' keys in the front door.

Thank God you're going to therapy.

What the fuck? You know when it's like... It's not necessarily fear, but it's like, you know play time's over. Do you see what I'm saying? When you come... Because let me give contest. I would come from school, me and my sister, or if it was just me, and the yard is free. I do what I want, I watch whatever I want, blah, blah, blah. You know for a fact when parents are back, or especially in an Nigerian household, when the parents are back, it's like, Parents don't want their kids to enjoy. They don't like to see that their kid has freedom. Have you done your homework? Have you washed the dishes? Have you mopped the floor? Have you done the hoovering? Have you cook?

There's a lot on the list before fun.

There is so much on the list before fun. So when I heard the keys in the door, I was thinking to myself, that's it. Yeah. Charged. Those two hours were fun.

Bro, to be fair, I can resonate. Mine was more to do with chores.

I fucking hated chores. Same. Washing dishes.

Bro, ours It was washing dishes, Hoovering and mopping, and hanging out the clothes. If it's summertime, hanging out the clothes on the line or bringing in the clothes that were on the line if they were dry. And all them thing there. If all of these things were not complete by the time my mom made it home. If I see my mom pulling into that drive and I would say them again, PTSD, I'll be thinking, Have it on it. Have it on it. Is there anything? And what I say, if there's a teaspoon in that sink, big man, it's game It's not over.

Brother, I've said this on the pod before. I remember one specific time, my mom used to make me polish her shoes before work all the time. That's insanity. I was livid about it. She used to wear black shoes to work. She was a nurse back then. I polished it, right? I showed it to her and she, African parents, Oh, this is not right. She looked at it, you know you might... She's like, No, go and do it again. I went back down, did nothing to it. I waited for about a minute, brought the same shoes back upstairs, and she said, Oh, yeah, that's much better.

Thank you. Oh, a Yanker leg.

Big...

Oh, Yanker leg.

I wanted to scream so loud, but I didn't have any words. It was just noise. Yeah. Because I didn't know where the anger laid.

Oh, my bro. Oh, bro, that is long. Sorry, dude.

But yeah.

Anyway, guys, welcome back.

Welcome back, Adeed.

If you are watching on YouTube, please subscribe to the channel. I'm just going to get straight to it. If you're watching on YouTube, subscribe to the channel. Please. If you are listening on any of the audio platforms, please leave us a nice review. It helps. It does. I know you don't think it helps. I know you don't care.

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First of all, care. Second of all, it helps. Third of all, if you like what we're doing here, if you like this little operation, if you like a laugh and a little tickle and some deep conversations sometimes, head on over to patreon. Com/schitzandgigs. It's going to cost you £3 a month. £10 a day. Run the P to S and G, and then you can enjoy years and years years of bonus content over there. Four years to be exact. We have a special show that is unique to Patreon called The Log Cabin. Facts. Every week we have a completely different set up. We have completely different types of content over there, and it's a vibe. It's simply just a vibe.

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Tap in, and I think that's it.

That is it.

I guess we're going back to school.

We are going back to school, guys. Get your whiteboards and get your markers because it's time to go back to school. Ellis, ring that bell.

The scores are James three, Rem one, Ellis one.

Okay, three, one, one. Okay. It's pretty close. Right, guys, we are going back to school. If you guys know the answers, put them in the comments below. I'll make sure you're playing at home as well. Question one. What is the next prime number after 97? What is the next prime number after 97? Seven.

I don't know what a prime number is. I'm sat here pretending to think. I don't know what a prime number is.

Question number two. Spell thesaurus. Locked.

I think I've got it.

You know when you write something and you're like, I don't think that looks right.

Bro? I don't think you understand how many times I've done that. You write a basic word, it could be again. And you're looking at that bitch. That's not how you spell again. Again? No, surely not.

Again? Yeah. What am I gaining here?

Question number three. How many elements are in calcium, carbonate? How many elements are in calcium carbonate? Question number four. The taste buds in the tongue can detect how many basic tastes. Three, Four, five, or six?

What's a basic taste?

The taste buds in the tongue can detect how many basic tastes? 3, 4, 5, or 6. What's a basic taste? The taste buds in the tongue can detect how many basic tastes? 3, 4, Four, five, or six? Question number five. What is the capital city of Belgium? The silence is scary. Everybody's locked.

It's deafening. Bro, Charged.

It's a silence.

Charged.

Yeah. Are we all up? I'm locked.

Let's do a switcherooze. Question one, what is the next prime number after 97? To explain, a prime number is a number that's only divisible by one and itself. That's what a prime number is.

Okay.

The next number after 97 is 101. I don't know.

You've got the same guess as me.100?Yeah. Yeah.

It's the only thing that... Yeah.100 sounds right.Yeah..

99 is only right to me. Yeah.

Question two. Spell thesaurus. The answer is T-H-E-S-A-U-R-U-S. God, damn. Question number three. How many elements are in calcium carbonate? The answer is three. That's calcium, carbon, oxygen. Question number four. The taste buds in the tongue can detect how many basic tastes? The answer is five.Oh.

My God.Oh my God.

I think it's like sweet, sour, salt, savory umami or something like that. Last but not least, capital cities. What is the capital of Belgium. The answer is Brussels.

I'm done.

Cool. That's unfortunate.

Let's get the scores added up.

Rem got two out of five. Alice, what did Jimmy get?

James got two out of five.

Oh, interesting. What did Alice get, Rem? No. So we have a tie break. What did you write for... What did James write for capital city?

Helsinki. I think that's Finland. Is it in Finland? Finland.

I think that's Finland.Helsinki is Finland.What.

Did you write?I don't fucking know.What did he write?

I wrote...

He didn't answer that one.

Oh, yes. He did answer that. Cool. Tie break? Yeah. Tie break between you two. Just wipe that between James and... Okay. So just use that board and wipe that shit out. The tie break question.

Cool.

How many angles of a square must be 90 degrees?

Is that a trick question?

How many angles of a square must be 90 degrees?

Locked.

If I get it wrong, I'm going to have to walk out the studio, I'm just saying.

You put what I thought. Yeah, same thing.

Locked.

What did you write? Four. What did you write? The answer is four.Thank.

God.thank God.

Jesus.

I knew you guys were panicked.

If you I have a lot of shapes in my head. You were doing a parallelogram, larger laterals. I was like, it must be two and we're just playing games. Okay, cool. Cool.

Bonus round, round two.Double.

Overtime.double.

Overtime indeed. Next point wins. Okay. Which of the following is not a component of blood? Plasma, plates, redBlood cells. White blood cells, white blood cells.Locked.Locked. You locked first. What did you write?

Plates.

You locked second. What did you write? White blood cells. The answer is plates.

Nice. Nice.

I had a feeling that would trick one of you.

Because they have platelets, right?

That's right. Everybody in the team next to plate's answer is platelets.Let's.

Go.come on.

Why white blood cells? You think the red blood cells was a trick. So white blood cell had to be the answer. I thought it was a trick. Fair. So it's 4-1-1 now. Good sudden death. Good sudden death.

I can't explain to you the amount of anxiety I get playing this game. Gang, that's the whole point. Week on week on week, It's exciting. Okay, guys, the time is now. Let's do it. It's time to talk Whoop. It is. I haven't checked the scores this week. I'm not going to lie to you, man.

I know I didn't win on Australian. I think you won on Australian this week or last week.Well played.Won.

On Australian, one on recovery.Oh.

Shit.my recovery was gash.

Yeah, I think I had one green last week.

Yeah, bro, I'm not doing well in recovery. The last week's span, I've not done one in recovery.

It's piss me off as well because there are times where I sleep great and I wake up feeling good and my recovery is in the yellow still.

Bro, do you go into the analytics? No. Oh, bro, you need to. Yeah. Because sometimes you can have a nice eight hours sleep, but it factors in the awake hours as well. Sometimes I went in the other day, I was awake for two hours. I thought I had I had a long sleep. I was awake for two hours, bro. You need to go in there and check how long your light sleep is and how long your-Oh, yeah, to be fair, I see it, but I don't analyze it.

I see it come up all the time, I just don't analyze it.

Okay, fair enough. My recovery has been trash. I haven't checked anything, so I think the lead is going to escape me this week. I'm concerned.

First, second, third, fourth, I believe.

You were three points clear, though. Yeah.

33, 30, 29, 28. You were only one behind. But yeah, my training was all right. I didn't get as much as I needed to, though. I missed. This week, again, because of what we got going on this week, this week is going to be my worst training week. Worst training, probably the worst recovery week. So this week is charged for me. I'm upset about it, but it's charged.

Same. Last week, I had three really strong sessions, and I saw on Sunday that Rem was leading. I was like, I cannot physically go to the gym. I was done, bro. I was thinking, Fuck, I'm going to lose the lead this week in terms of strain. But I was like, the game is the game is the game. It is what it is. Again, like I was saying before, my recovery always in the yellow apart from one day I was in the green. My sleep is up and down, bro. Sometimes I will sleep, and then sometimes I just will have probably six hours and feel like shit. I don't know. It's not been the best week. And again, agreed with Jimmy, this week, it's been so back to back to back. I've not trained once yet, and it's Tuesday. We're going to be away all day tomorrow and the day after when we come back. I'm probably going to train again for the first time, probably on Friday. So I'm probably after going to do Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or maybe Thursday evening if I can squeeze one. I'm thinking for me. And I'm livid about it.

I can't train tonight. Tomorrow morning, Thursday. I I'll be surprised. I'll be surprised. Coming back from those mobos, yeah, boy, I'll be surprised. If I get a session, I'll be impressed. And then Friday, definitely, Saturday, definitely, Sunday, definitely. So I'm looking at Wednesday, Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, if I'm lucky. Thursday, if I'm really, really, really lucky. But yeah, it's been an interesting one. It's nice to see that, again, you can have situations where Rem's taken over in strain and you're watching it like, fuck, there's nothing I can do about this. He's taking what he wants. And there's times where I was coasting on sleep and recovery. I've been doing really, really well for this entire challenge, and I know for a fact, when I open my eyes, what the recovery is going to say now. I'm completely tapped in. Okay. So I already know. As soon as I wake up, I'm like, fuck. And I've been relying on it so much that I just take it for granted. And then I'm watching you, man, get better and better at the sleep and recovery. And I'm like, I can't take anything for granted. Where's my magnesium, man?

Let me get some sleep. Oh, bro, it's stressing me out. But yeah, how was you, man?

You're weak. Not too bad. My recovery is just screwed at the minute. I can't get It's usually 45 every day.

That's insane, bro. Do you check your sleep thing every day and see how long you're awake and how long? I've been digging in. Hey, yo.

And Basically, it's saying it's my heart rate variability. Apparently, it's fucked. Especially when I'm asleep, probably my heart rate is just...

You're dreaming some stuff. I do have really stressed with dreams, so maybe.

You should look into this snoring thing.

Yeah, you mentioned snoring. I don't snore every night, but apparently I do a bit. Do you wear nasal strips? No. I never tried it. I never tried it, actually. I think it's my sleep. I think it's how I'm sleeping messes up my recovery because I feel fine. I've been hitting, knowing you have your optimal strain. I always hit my optimal. Do you know how to do it? Because I've done it before where you push it too far and it messes you up. So I always try and hit my I get more strain. I get pretty good sleep as it is. So yeah, it must be something to do with my sleep, man. I don't know what it is. So I have to do some digging about it. But yeah, I might try those.

Yeah, I'm not doing the tape thing.

People have been doing mouth tape. That freaks me out.

Is it really? Yeah, mouth tape. What's that? Males trip by their tape, their mouth closed, so they're just breathing through their nose.

Yeah, it's good for you. That would make me panic. Yeah, to make you a better nose breather, man. They say like... That terrifies me.

That sounds scary.

It's scary, mate. The amount of oxygen that you get when you breathe through your nose versus through your mouth. And they've done studies on people who are mouth readers, what their face looks like. They have a... There's muscles that aren't active and stuff like that. They have a more sunken face. That makes sense.

They look...

Yeah, they just don't look healthy and shit. It's really bad for you to be a mouth breather. A lot of people take their mouth closed. I've considered it a few times.

That would make me panic. Because I wake up and forget my mouth is closed. Literally. Not even wake up after a long sleep. I'm talking about middle of the night, going to piss type of thing, and I'm trying to yawn, and then I'm like... That's what would happen.

I would lose my mind. Oh, God.

I'd be waking up. I know. If I use them, I will wake up panicking every night. I know I will. I'm not even going to try, but I'll try the strip.

Yeah, that's fine.

All right, fair play.

Remske. How about you?

Yeah, man, I had a great week. Good. Felt really good. What about? I think I've clocked recovery, but not in a good way. I've realized that... I'm the worst sleeper of all of us each week, fourth place. But all it takes for me to get my recovery in the green, like 90% plus, is to sleep over seven hours. But that's because my sleep is so bad. It's like a cheat code, I guess. It registers that I sleep so little. That's fine. Recovery, all I need to make sure I do is getting my... Seven plus. Yeah, my maximum sleep has been like, I think last night, actually, did it again. Seven and a half hours I did last night.

That's good.

Green. I woke up this morning, 93% recovery. I trained this morning, six minutes, six, seven 20 minutes on a tread warm-up. Trained legs. I recorded them. Obviously, it tells you all your tonnage and whatnot that you do. Trade for about an hour. Good session. Actually, great session. 20 minutes stair Master. Before we started work today, I was already on 17.1.

Strain.mad.yeah. I just knew-I've never hit 17 in my life.

The first time I hit 17 was playing basketball for the first time. That's two weeks ago, and I still lost We trained that week, but yeah, 17 again today. So I'm feeling amazing.

Good, bro.

Jesus.

Well played.

That time, we trained together on Wednesday.

Yeah, I wanted to announce that.

I wasn't going to bring up. You need to speak about that.

You need So me, Fouhad, and Rem went to train last week all together. We did the exact same session. We really pushed as well, all of us. And I wouldn't say visibly any of us was more tired than the other. And my strain was 7.5. Aaron's strain was 8.5. Fouhad's strain was 13.6. Jesus.

It's not fair. Does that make sense.

It doesn't make sense. It's not fair.

That's BS.

I don't know. You saw it. I don't know.

I did cheat. But anyway, it is what it is.

Let's do some points.

We're going to do some points.

Cool. So Rem, 4 plus 4 plus 1, 9. Yeah. Me, 3 plus 1 plus 2, 6. Should be. James, 2 plus 3 plus 4. It should be 9. Yeah. Ellis, 1 plus 2 plus 3, 6.

For the table, We had Rem, last week you were on 28.

Yeah, 28, 29, 33.

So Rem is now, what's 28 plus? You just got nine, so 37. You were on 29 plus 6, 35. 37, 35. Fuhad was on 30. I believe. You're on 36. Cool. I was on 33, and now I'm on 42.

Damn.

42, 37.

36 as well? Yeah. 35. I was 35. Last fuck.

Yeah, 35.

I was 35.

So last We've re-art. Rim's making moose.

Yeah, say less. I have to train this week.

But anyway, guys, so you obviously know if you were here last week, if you weren't here last week and you want to join in this Whoop challenge, we We've got three weeks left of this one, and then we are doing a-12 week. 12 week SMG challenge with all of you at home. So please get your Whoop bands now, and then we're going to have a massive community tab where everyone be together. We can see everyone's results every day. Catch up on how everyone's getting on. There's a massive chat function in there, so everyone can chat. We can all be a community and do 12 weeks and tackle 2024 and actually accomplish some good shit. Yeah, man. Okay, cool. If you want to get involved with the challenge and you want to make 2024 your best year just like us, what you need to do is join. Woop. Com/sng. Head over there immediately. One more time. Join. Woop. Com/s forward-slash-sng. The link is in the description and grab your woop. You get 30 days, risk-free, zero commitment. You can join them with us and we can just all get pang together.

Just ball out together.

We can ball out together. We can all be sexy together. And then you're just going to be on road seeing other people with a juicy strap on their wrist and abs and tits and be like, SMG, baby. Facts. Smg, baby. We're all sexy out here. Facts.

Weoping it up.

Yeah, we're all going to be in the Ota Arena on May 26th. Just sexy.

Just weoped out. Everybody put that, weoping.

Yeah, bro. Yeah, boy. Everyone just grown as sexy in an arena. Come on. Sweating and screaming and doing stuff. That's what we're going to do. But anyway, guys, like I said before, join. Woop. Com/sng. Grab your woop and let's just get sexy together, okay? Let's. Right, guys. Let's take a very, very, very quick break. I'm going to share some knowledge, okay? So this Valentine's Day, let's talk about the hero. Tell him. Okay. There's one company that's saving V-day's left, right, and center with their Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra. If you didn't guess, yet we're talking about manscapes. This electric trimmer features skin-safe technology, guarding your V-day treasure against any grooming mishaps, bro. It It also comes with their brightest LED spotlight. Yet, I've tried it. It's bright, bright. It's brighter than your best romantic smile. Come on. Unless we talk about fakes. Obviously. You got that bright, bright. Come on, doc. Perfect for precise grooming, even in the trickiest spots. It's also waterproof. You can use it in the shower. Come on. Ease it's clean. Come on. But hey, that's not everything the Love Doctor has ordered. This package also features the Weed Whacker 2.0, nose and hair trimmer, manscapes, liquid formulations, and two free goodies, the Shed Travel bag and the boxers 2.0 because comfort is king.

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Yeah, I'm wearing them right now.

Gang, bro.

Comfy.

And they got that little pouch now, in it. That little coin purse? Yeah, they got that in the front. Yeah, it needs Because your boy hags. And that's fine. But anyway, guys, what you need to do is head on over to manscaped. Com and use the code SNG. Sierra, November, go. And that's going to give you 20% off plus free shipping. Come on. Let's get back to the episode. Fax. Cool. Right. Before I have a dilemma, before I get into that. Randam, do you know who I have a newfound fucking respect for? Stormzy. Is it the TikTok thing?Not for his fucking music.Is it the TikTok thing? Yeah. Did you see it?

Yeah, I saw on Twitter maybe.

Yeah, the little day in the life thing. Day in the life, yeah. Yeah. He said not for his known for, he's known for.

Not for his art and craft.

He's His day in the life.Tiktok? Slaps.

Not for his bars, not for his awards.

Yeah, none of this GQ shit. His fucking TikTok is banging. Okay. So Brosky, Did the day in the Life the other day. Do you know what I mean? First of all, this guy has got money. He had like nine appointments in one day. He woke up. This is why I love this guy. I love him now. He woke up-At 6:45. Yeah, 6:45, and linked to his paddle coach because he started playing Padel, and his boys had been smacking on a Padel, so got myself a Padel Coach. Side quest, I will smack Stormzy at Padel.

That's a fact.

I've never played it. Coach or no coach, I stay playing paddle. Say less. Shout me. And I saw he was playing with Chucks.

Chucks and-Offended.

Yeah. Do you play with Sharky? No.

No. Sharky. Was Sharky, yes.

I think Eja was there as well. Maybe. I was pre-in the I watched it twice. It was a great video. Yeah, said, I've been getting smacked. So I linked up with my paddle coach. I was like, gang. Then he linked up with his nutritionist. Then he linked it up with his PT part one. Then he went home where his chef was waiting to give him breakfast. Then he went to the studio. Then his PT part two came to the studio. Then he came home and his physio was waiting for him. And then he put on his compression boots and I watched this girl on TV. It was a day.

And he played Paddle as well.

Oh, yeah, sorry. And he linked Chunk's and the Man to play Paddle as well.

In the evening before coming home to rest with me on TV.

It was a day, you man. When I said I was locked in, I said, Run me Tuesday. I was almost in the comment saying, Where's Tuesday? Wow, what a day. And this guy spends money on health and fitness, and that's my fucking bag. It made me realize I'm not spending enough money. I'm not spending enough money. In the right things. Oh, yeah. I spend enough money, all right? Just not on the right shit. Yeah, Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Fucking how I loved it. I loved it. I can't wait for the next one. There we go. But more time people just pack their day. That one day that they're doing the day in their life is their busy day. The other six days are just useless. But fucking how I was jealous of that paddle thing. I might have to hop on and get this paddle coach thing going. Say it last. I mean, Lewis played paddle with my boy Josh the other day. He's a pro. He's sick at tennis. So we're wondering how it would go. He merkt us.

Really?

Wow. He didn't even try. Oh, wow. And he'd never played paddle. He didn't even know the rules. Oh, wow. Yeah. You might need to jump on paddle. There's also a paddle thing down the road.

There is. Oh, there is? Yeah, there is. When I did that 180, we could really do this.

Yeah, there is. There's a paddle club down the road. There really is. We can get into this and exercise you, man.Strain will be through the roof.Okay.

I'm down.Yeah? I'm down.

I'll let you, man, go first and practice before I join you. Because otherwise, it's just six weeks of border.

No, because I learn on the job.Swear.Yeah..

So do I.So.

We can run it.Daddy, stop.

Both of you, man, stop.We.

Can run it first week, bro. What's all this? I'll learn on the job. What's all this train before we come and link you?

What's that? Because I'm really good, guys.

Next segment because you're chatting shit.

Okay, fair.

The fuck?

Anyway, I have a dilemma from our favorite ghost writers, 6 Brown Chicks on Twitter. My 48-year-old coworker handed me a beautiful red envelope for my 25th birthday. It was I thought cash was inside.

That's the first thing I thought.

I was eating at my desk when I opened the envelope and her pussy hairs fell out. The note read, Human? The note read, I shaved the pussy so it could be smooth on your face. I You twisted your emotions in it. You twisted it. Oh my God. We did not have a relationship like that, but she looked good and I was ready for her bullshit. I played along. That night, I bought a black baby doll from DollarTree, and I put the doll's hair in an envelope and gave it to her. We started eating lunch together in her van. I'm reading this. I don't think the baby doll has anything to do with it. I'm reading this. I don't think it has anything to do with the rest of the story. He just did it. We started eating lunch together in her van and we've been going at it raw for a while. Five months later, she's like, It's a miracle. I'm pregnant. I said, You're old as fuck. Aren't you in men on pause or something? She punched me. We went back to work with a swollen... Oh, went back to work with a swollen lip.

I'm in a serious relationship, and I can't bring her old-face baby into this. How do I pull away from her without things getting messy at work?

I'd advice.I didn't say a word.Yeah, bro. The hot... Pussy hair's in an envelope?Fam?And she said it was... Or he said it was thick.

I shade this pussy so it's smooth on your face.That's a boy, by the way.Oh, yeah, That's a bar, by the way.Oh, yeah, bro.That's.

A bar, by the way.As.

Sickened as I would be by that envelope to just see that, yeah, I'd bite my knuckle off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've been going out raw in her van.

The van thing is bonkers.

Yeah, Yeah, it's disgusting.

But I just don't know how I would react thinking it's money, opening an envelope and just seeing her pussy hair fall out. It was her pussy hair.

Bro.

Do you know how thick it must have been before she shaved?

Yeah, bro. This is why he thought she was on men.

That's not normal, I can't bring her old-face baby into this. And that's on God. It's a miracle I'm pregnant.

Yeah. Wow. My son, you're old as fuck.

Bang on the lips. What did she say? I want some smooth pussy on your face.

What did she say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did she say? I shave the pussy so it'll be smooth on your face. I could never. I could never hear that. No, stop. At work, my tailbone will tingle.

Fuck, man. Because it's such a 180 of emotions.

Yeah, because you've gone from feeling sick to being like, Let's go to the van. It's like, raw. You're really about it. I said, We've been going out raw.

But you also said, I'm not even looking at it in that way.

We're all missing the face that I'm in a serious relationship.

That was the last thing you said, I forgot about it.

I was in a fantasy. I said, I'm in a serious relationship. I don't want this to get messy at work.How.

Do I pull away?

How do I pull away?

You can't, my bro.

What are you doing?

You're going to roll for five months.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. These have to be Ghostwriters, bro.

Yeah, it can't be real scenarios. Because it's so entertaining. It can't be real scenarios. I'm in a serious relationship. Every day with these ones, it's cheat, cheat, cheat as well. It's nuts.

Oh, my God. Oh, for God's sake. I don't think there's any help, my bro. Charged. There's no help. I was charged. There's no help.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Confess to your love. Facts. And start raising a baby because that's what's happening. Yeah, because she said it's a miracle. A miracle baby.

She's keeping at you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're raising it with her, whether you like it or not.

God, that's tough. Goodness me. So is your right though, bro. Facts. Roar for five months. That's crazy. That's not a raw sex.

A man thought she was just never going to get pregnant, so I might as well.

Fuck. Right, You've got a question for us now.

I do have a question for you guys. Obviously, we're coming up to Super Bowl territory, which is, I think, next week. By the time this comes out, I think it's this week. It comes out on the top. It's this Sunday, actually. It would have been yesterday. In you guys' opinion, who would you think would give a fantastic Super Bowl halftime performance?

That's a good question. Let me actually think about this.

And Double up, what song would you open with?

Do you know who actually think if they actually... Because I know they like to drop themselves down a little bit. But one person actually think if he just went ham with the production and the noise, Future. Okay. Future has got fucking bangers. Okay. I've been listening to one… What's it called? Solo. Have you heard it? I don't think so. He's got one track called Solo. Just him? Okay. Just him. I think if he did… Because Future is also… Actually, I take it the fuck back. I'm going to go back to what I said earlier. What did he say? I'm going to go back to what I said earlier at the shoot earlier. I think if we did it on a pure rolling guest situation, Rick Ross would do a nasty job. Uncrown king of features. If Rick Ross came up and did all the songs that he's featured on, and then he just has the people, the main artist for each song, come on, I think it would be the most amazing performance I've ever seen.

What song would you open with?

He has to open with Monster.

Okay.

Yeah. I think if he opened with Monster and then we've got, what other feature song has he got? He's got like... He's got Loads, bro. Bro, a Million. He's got like Dice Pine apple. Tune. He's got fucking Gold Roses.

Gold Roses.

Oh, my God.

Fuck, I need to find on my phone. He's got one with Jay-Z called The Devil is a Lie.

The Devil is a lie.

That song shakes me to my core. Yeah, they go bar for bar in that song. Yeah, that's the song.

I think for me, I would love to see that.

Say less.

Okay, cool. Yeah.

Ellisis?

I'd probably say he's never done it before, Drake. He's never done the Super Bowl, which I don't…

Standard. I'm surprised by that.

It's pretty standard.

There's nothing wrong I'm not sure what I'd open with.

Maybe nice for what, but I'm not sure.

That's what's a banger. That would get the car. I'd open with Trophies, 100%.

On brand. Very on brand. That's good. Very on brand. Romske?

Bruno Mars.

I was thinking Bruno, though. I was thinking Bruno Mars.

Performance-wise, one of my best performers I've ever seen in my entire life.

Bruno fucking Mars, bro.

Take the roof off in a Super Bowl. Probably, I don't know. Even 24, Okay, that track.

That was crazy. He needs a new funky album.

Yeah. That promo video sent in the group the other day for his Japanese tour. Yeah. Damn, son.

Yeah, he's just doing stuff.

His editing team are crazy. Bruno, go away. Bro, it was fucking sick. I've never seen a promo video that good in my life. Yeah, Bruno is the one. That's a fucking good shout. Jesus. Yeah, that's my favorite so far.

Who would you pick? Off the bat, just Justin Timberlake, bro.

Yeah, I was I think it does because he's already done it in it.Oh, has he?Yeah, of course he has.

Who did it?

Janet Jackson, bro.Oh.

Was that? Got a titty's out. Okay, I take it back. I can't choose him then. I would probably go for Rogue because he's not actually I'm not going to tell a lie. It would be someone retro like Timberland. Timberland. He will get obviously all the artists that he's worked with, and he will just do a madness for 15 minutes.

Yeah, that'd be crazy.

I'll probably How do you open up with... It has to be someone like Missy. Yeah, it has to be someone like Missy.

Tell me what I did last night. She just... Yeah, yeah. She. How about a quarter to three?

How was that? Tweet.

Yeah.oops. What would I open with?

If we're doing producers, I would have Forerelling that bitch. Bro. Yeah. If we open up with a front in or something like that.

Yeah. There's something Has J Cole done one?

No, I don't think so. He would do a dirty one.

That's very mainstream for J Cole.

Maybe I changed my answer to J Cole. I changed my answer to J Cole. That'll be lit. Tell a lie. I changed my answer again. Fuck it. This is my final answer. This is my final answer. My final answer, the person that will open up or perform the halftime show, Super Bowl, is Kanye West.

I was thinking Kanye West.

Kanye West.

I was thinkingChania West.

Kanye West, the lights are dim, spotlights, flashing light starts playing. That's it. That's the intro. And then he just starts going ham, banger after banger after banger after banger for 15 minutes.

That would be amazing.

Fuck me, that would be amazing because he's a performer as well. He loves his production. So yeah, Kanye West will be my guy.

Fair. Cool, man. Good question. Right. I've got a thread. I think it's very similar to one that you've done before. And I literally just saw it the Real light, super easy. Okay, come on. I saw it. It was, what's the worst response you've had from I love you?

Oh, yeah. I think I saw it, but I didn't do it because I thought we'd done before. Yeah.

But youThat's when you made me say it to you, in it? Yes. That was amazing. Right.

So. Oh, it's jokes.

Worst response to...

The breathe in, breathe out one. It's over. I will never forget that.

It's a good clip.

That was horrible.

Sorry.

Continue. I'm sorry.

Right. So worst response to I love you type shit. So say, I love you.

I love you.

Type shit. Fair. That's some I love you type shit. That's some I love you type shit.

All right, cool.

All right.

I love you.

I hear it. I hear it.

I, generally, wouldn't know what to say back to that.

You can't I don't say anything back. I hear it.

Have you ever been in a position where someone's told you, I love you, when you felt like you don't know what to say it back, or you don't say that back, or you feel like saying something else, and you think, Should I say I hear it?

Because- I've never thought that. But thankfully, I've never had someone say I love you to me. That you didn't love that. I'm thinking there's no way I'm saying this back.

Because I'm trying to think, what the fuck would I say?

There's one on here that I know I know I would say. Okay, cool. All right. So I'll say that one now. So go on.

All right. I'm going to compose myself. I love you.

Don't do that. Don't do that.

Don't pour my heart A bit, yeah.

Don't do that. You know what you're doing. Don't do that. Damn. Damn. Don't do that.

Damn.

Fuck. All right, cool. Next one. I love you. I love your honesty.

Wow.

And in your bravery. Bro.

I love your honesty and your bravery. And your bravery.

Because you didn't fear rejection. It's coming, but you didn't fear it. It's coming.Wow.Okay. Fuck.

All right. I love you.

I've got love for you as well, man. Damn, bro. Damn.go on, next one.I love you.

Why do you love Good spin. Yeah. I think that's another one I would do. That's another one I would do.

Why do you love me? Why do you love me? Fuck, on the spot.

Because I'm never expecting a question back.

Yeah, you just want a response.

You just want something. All right, I love you.

I love YouTube.

I'll be like, Pardon?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It'll be literally like you-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pardon? I love YouTube. Olive juice. I love you. God is love.

Jesus never fails. That's the bar after it, isn't it? I'm pretty sure it is. I'm pretty sure it is. Type in God is love, bro. I'm sure the next bar is Jesus never fails. Or am I capping? I could be capping.

Bro, that is funny.

Type it continuously. God is love, Jesus never fails.

Just put J.

Maybe not then. I don't think so.

This is Jehovah's Witness. That's funny. Jesus never fails. I've never heard that in my life.

You were fast on that as well, bro.

There's a couple more, but yeah, let's just charge it there. Okay, cool. Bro, That's fucking funny. Jesus never fails. Okay, Bet. Trash news, please, Ram.

Yeah, man. Before we got trash news, I have to ask a favor. Okay. In episode 361, I think it was, we all went around and we winked at our cameras. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen it, but, Ellis, when you were editing it, I did my wink, but I glitched and I actually blinked. Yeah, fam, it looks peak. It looks actually peak. I didn't even realize. Yeah, fam. You blinked. Yeah, I blinked. I actually winked with both eyes at the same time, fam. I just need to re-up my wink, and then we can continue with that day.

First of all, you should be ashamed for yourself. Who is this for?

This is for myself.

Okay. Have your moment, bro.

Wink away, bro. Have your moment, bro. Take your time. When do you time as many times as you need to. Yeah.

Center yourself.

Okay, I'm good. Calm. Okay, so trash news. You, man, must have seen Jay-Z absolutely going off at the Grammys.

I didn't see it, but I saw it, yeah.

I've seen it so completely out of context. I've seen him halfway through, and I don't know what. I know he's just slagging people off.

Also, I don't even have to get these words out. How much Blue Yvi looks like Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Yeah, combined. Fucking crazy, bro.

She looks exactly like the both of them. Yeah. Also, she could not wait to get off that stage when he was ranting. Oh, really? Yeah, she was like, Lean forward, lean back, lean forward, lean back. It was just horrific. Jay Zee calls that a grandmy. Lack of best time moments. Listen, you know what? So what did he get? Before we get into, what did he get a grandmy for?

Jay Zee won his grandmy for picking up the Dr. Dr. Dre Global Impact Award, which apparently-Oh, he picked on behalf of Dr.

Dre?

No, I think that Dr.

Dre is an award. It's his award at the grandmys.

But the writer of GQ magazine feels it's made up.

So the Dr. Dre Gold Impact Award. Sorry, Global Impact Award. Okay, so it's just an award that Dr. Dre made up for people that have done global impact.

I don't think Dr. Dre made it up.

No, no, no. It's an award made up in Dr. Dre's name. Okay. Yeah. So he picked up this global impact award with his daughter Blue Ivy by his side for moral support. He proceeded to deliver the best speech of the night in which he addressed the award shows spotty history with black art, criticized a controversially anonymous voting body and explain why he and Beyoncé keep on showing up year after year.

I was going to say, it's so funny you said he explained why they keep showing up year after year. It's because I was going to say without the context of what he said, my first question was going to be, why is he there? Because in my opinion, I've spoke about awards and stuff before. It's like you either subscribe to it or you don't. I always find it bizarre when people are up there accepting an award, then they use the opportunity to slag off the awards. I find that so crazy. But if he's making a point as to why he keeps going there, then that's a different story.

The likes of Drake and The Weekend who have both stopped submitting their music for the Grammys consideration, Beyoncé keeps showing up. This, Jay-Z explained, is a long game. It's unfettered determination. To be fair, they have 56 Grammys between them. That's insane. It's just stupid.

It was the 56 Grammy, then, or was it was '60 something.

I'm not sure which one it was. We got to keep showing up, he said, and forget the Grammys for a second, just in life. You've got to keep showing up. Keep showing up until Until they give you all those accolades you feel you deserve. Until they call you chairman. Until they call you a genius. Until they call you the greatest of all time, was his response to.

I think, bro, again, I didn't see the whole thing. I'm just taking up titbits. This is the most bullshit thing I've ever heard in my life. He realizes that him and his wife are billionaires.

This is what people are saying.

They're the most successful Power couple. Power couple artist of all time.

She wasn't even nominated.

That's fine.

Yeah, I agree.

That's what I'm saying.

These are artists here that were nominated. Cool. When I first heard about it, I thought he was pissed that she was nominated but didn't get the award.

I know when he was up there, he was saying, the bit I did catch was like, how is it possible that she's got all these awards and never won album of the year? That doesn't make fucking sense.

You got your AirPods?

Yeah. All right, cool. So we're going to listen to it? We're on it back.

We want you all to get it right. We love you all. We love you all. We love you all. We want you all to get it right. At least get it close to right. And obviously, it's subjective. You all got to clap at everything. Obviously, it's subjective. Because it's music and it's opinion-based. But some things... I don't want to embarrass this young lady, but she has more Grammys than everyone and never won an album in a year. So even by your own metric, that doesn't work. Think about that. The most Grammys never won an album in a year. Some of you are going to go home tonight and feel like you've been robbed. Some of you made it, Rob. Some of you don't belong in a category. That's harsh. No, when I get nervous, I tell the truth. Cool.

I don't know who he's even... That vibe was completely different, something else out of this world. The whole, some people shouldn't be here.

She was the album of the Year category, whoever was in the category.

There's somebody... In the comment section of the Instagram, people think that he's referring to... What was her name? Tyler.

She got Album of the Year?Impossible.She.

Got nominated for Album of the Year?

She's only had one song.

She's not in this lineup.

That's what I thought.

Tyler won. African artist. African artist.

I know she won that.

I know she won that.

It can't be for Tyler. I don't know who he was talking about, but some of the comment sections were saying that this shop was at. I don't know if that's who it was at. But yeah, that was a speech. They've got 56 combined, and I think Harry. Harry styles was last year. Taylor Swift was this year. She wasn't even nominated this year. There was a really good comment on the Instagram Yeah. It's fair that your daughter has a Grammy before many talented, iconic artists, but unfair that your wife has the most Grammys of any person to walk the Earth and doesn't have one for Album of the Year. I had no idea Blue Ivy had a fucking Grammy.

For what?

She got one in 2021 for the best video, Brown Skin Girl.

Huh? Mm-hmm.

2021, Blue Ivy. She's the second youngest Grammy winner of all time.Who's.

The first?I.

Don't know.

That's maybe. I was going to say maybe MJ when it was a U.

Maybe. Yeah, I think this. To have 56 Grammys between you and then be up there and be like, But we haven't got this one, and it's fucking bullshit. But yeah, to have the most Grammys on planet Earth and then stand on that stage and be like, Some of you don't even belong here. It's It's not fair. She's too shy to say anything, but we have to keep showing up until they call us the greatest of all time, until they call us geniuses, until they... That's a lot, man. You are the most successful couple of all time. Shut up.

It's done, bro.

Shut up. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Literally, shut up. And you're holding one now. You got one in your hand while you're crying.

He's got one in his hand, yeah, whilst competing with his wife.

Yeah, man. It's cool. If you think it's unfair, it's whatever. But subscribe to it or don't. Like, yeah, just be like, some of you who feel like you've been robbed. Yeah, everyone who turns up and doesn't win is going to feel like they've been robbed.

I was going to say Tilly the Creator. Travis Scott. He was performing Fina, whatever, and he said, Nominated 10, won none.Being.

Snobbed 10 times.Ten.

Times, yeah. He got nominated 10 times. He won nothing. His previous album, he thought it was going to be an album of the year. He won nothing.

Chris Chris Brown's got one or none.

I don't think Chris Brown has a Grammy. I don't know, actually. Chris Brown has been about for 20 years.

Yeah, bro. One. One. Chris Brown's got one. It's Fame. For RnB album. Fame's his shittest album as well.

That's a terrible album. The group, the other people in that category must have been shit. Yeah. Or just had a terrible year because that's a terrible album.

Fame's a shit album. No shade. He's got banging albums. Fame is not one of them. Yeah, bro. I find that stupid. I find that stupid. Yeah, that is what it is. But yeah, I think to have the audacity to stand up there and be like, We need to get it right. We need to get it right. In order for that, you need to You need to admit that if you're going to stand up there and be like, We want you to get it right. You need to get it right. There must be out of that 56, some of them that you feel that you don't deserve. So run them back. You can't say they're getting it wrong, getting it wrong. But everyone that you've got is correct. That's correct.

Facts.

They called Kanye crazy when he did that to Taylor. Taylor Swift back then.

It's the way he did it.

The way he did it, it was crazy.

Yeah, I don't like that one bit, man. I mean, that's crazy. I see bad people like, oh, I see what Piazzo sees in him now. I've never liked Jay-Z so much. That's like, okay. What the fuck? Yeah, fair.

All right, cool. Tee Suizi has had a year on her. Oh, yeah. She's had a year, bro.

Taylor stays having years. How many fucking grammars does she have?

First person to reach a billion from... A million, sorry. Was it not a billion from Tourin? Is it a million or billion?

It's not a million, Fuhad.

A billion, yeah.

From Tourin. Time person of the Year, album of the Year. Fucking overshad of year, man.

Fourteen Grammys. Fourteen Grammys. Yeah, bro. She does stuff. Fuck. Yeah, she's a businesswoman.

Yeah, she's really about the population.

You see this thing that she's doing for the NFL, she's just showing up. There's controversy in NFL about her, isn't it? Because just showing up to these games, she's generated 300 million for the NFL. That's crazy. 300 million, bro. They've allowed her stylist or one of her designers who made a makeshift bomber. They've given her NFL rights to just make NFL gams now. Because she's making them cake. I know you see it. Someone kicked off the other day. I can't remember who was a rapper. He I went on Twitter the other day and was like, Stop showing Taylor Swift.

It's a lot.

Stop showing her on this camera. I came to watch football. Fair. I came to watch football. Fair, bro. Don't put her on this camera again. Fair.

No shade to her, but fucking fair.

Yeah, he said I'm not going to show it to her. She's an amazing artist. I don't want to see her around my football games anymore. Fair, man. She's there to support. Keep her in the stands.

Because it's literally, they forget about her. I don't even know her man's name.

Can't remember her name.

Travis, he's Travis. Travis, he's Travis.

But yeah, that's a barter trash news. Most of them are bots. But yeah, I feel like I'm just waffling that. I don't really have much else to say about it, apart from it's just grim. Anyway, level of love.

Gang, gang, gang.Charging it?Yup.

All right, guys. See you next week. Peace.