I didn't know what was going to happen. You didn't know if you had breakfast the next day.

You didn't know whether you have breakfast the next day. My look back is at night. Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.

Yeah. Swear. Dad. Yeah. I'll see you pay rent. That's what you said. And we're back.

We're back indeed, guys. What is good? What is good? What is good? We usually start with the IG question, but I want to give a quick spotlight, a quick shout out to someone is doing something that he's wanted to do for a minute. And he is also just clearly multifaceted. And it's time for him to actually talk big shit popping about what he's doing. So, Ellis, the stage is yours. James probably thought I was talking about him. The stage is yours. I hoped. The stage is yours, sir. Talk to us. You've started a podcast. I have. How are you getting to tell the world what it feels like and how you are getting on?

It's sick, man. Yeah, I've actually started. Gang. Actually started, man. I've been wanting to do content for ages, especially with my mate. We even said in the first episode, how long we've been wanting to do stuff, make content together. It's mad. But yeah, it's sick, man. It felt really good just getting the first episode out.Nice. You know what I mean? I purposely... I liked it, but I was editing over it and I was having those little things in my head where I was like, I'm not I'm not sure about this. Don't like the set, don't like the lighting. Put it out. I was like, It's the first episode. Just get it out, bro. Then you've started, and then you can say you've started. That's what I did. Even the editing on purposely wasn't that great. I was like, Just edit it and get it done.Nice..

It's done.

Nice. It's sick, man. I'm really enjoying it.

Good. I would have stabbed someone for the numbers you got on your first episode. On our first episode, I would have stabbed someone.

It's crazy. Because you put it in the group chat. You're taking the first step.

Yeah, bro. You nearly got monetised from your first day.For.

Your first day, yeah.I.

Was livid, bro. Yeah, man. It took us a year.

Yeah, I think it's on 2K at the minute. I swear. Which is mad.

Big money, Ellis.

It's mad. It's been up for a week. I think a week today. But yeah, mate, honestly, it's sick. I can't describe the excitement I get when we're planning and... Because we purposefully don't really speak either. We literally message each other. All we He'll do his message, the topic of the week.Nice..

So we'll be like, this is what this episode is going to be, and we won't talk, and then we meet up and it's sick, and we get proper gas stuff when we're filming.

Then straight after, we're like, cool, this is going to be next week's one, and we're just on it. It's just sick, man. It's really, really, really good.

Do you think this has helped with your confidence? Remember this one thing you spoke about?

Yeah, massively. To be fair, my mate said, which I appreciate, obviously, since being on camera on this show, he was like, your confidence, one, in general, your confidence has been higher. He's noticed since I've been working with you guys, which has been good.Nice..

We love to hear it.How sweet is that?

I really can't hear stuff like that.

I've had a lot of people tell me that, by the way.

I He can cry. I promise you, don't say stuff like that.

Move on. Yeah. But he said, When we filmed the first episode, he was like, your camera presence is a lot better. Because like I said, we used to do stuff when we were younger.Pause.Metal videos and stuff. Me.

Sorry, carry on.

Rewind. But yeah, he was like, Dude, I've It's a massive difference. He was like, You carried the first episode. He was like, I was nervous as shit. You carried it. I was like, Okay, cool. He was like, Me, your transitions were good and everything.

He was like, Me, your transitions? Yeah, he said like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Come on, man.Let's go, man.It.

Was good. I think it's massively helped. Like I said, it just helped just uploading it, just uploading our first episode.

Starting.

Yeah, exactly. It's literally just starting. That helped me with my confidence. I was like, Cool, we've got a podcast.

Gang, bro. We've got a podcast.Gang, we've got a podcast. Jesus.gang, we had to shine a quick light. I appreciate it. Thank you. I had to shine a quick light. Guys, everybody, I know Ellis, you're the editor anyway, so put your show on the screen everywhere. I appreciate it. The description below. Have a seat, podcast. He's nearly on 1K followers, 1K subs already. The first video has got over 2K views. You're killing it, bro. So yeah, man, well played again.Thank you.I.

Really thought you were going to talk about me.

It's not about you all the time. I'm sorry, Jim. Sorry, Jim. This is time to shine. This is a big deal.It's.

A big deal. I'm really proud. It's a huge deal. I'm really proud. Everyone's doing madness.

Did you think in terms of the stream?

I didn't know what he was going to say.

I just started talking and I thought the props were for him.

Okay, I didn't think it was for me. I was like, wow, it's actually happening. It's actually happening. It's actually happening because it's never happened. I've done it for everyone and you've never done it for me. That's fine. But anyway, I actually didn't come empty-handed today.

In terms of?

Today's the day.

Which one? Oh, God.

Which one is it?

We had a few more flavors that we didn't get, but we're going to... Pipeline punch. We're going to America in a couple of days, and they have the Sunrise. I can't wait for you to taste the Sunrise.

Is it just called Sunrise?

Ultra Sunrise. Ultra Sunrise, okay. And they- It's even got there. Yeah. Have I given you the peach yet? Pause. Pause? Fuck. No. Yeah, you have not. All right, so you still got peach to go, ultra sunrise to go, and you've still got mango loco to get us another sugary one that we'll get into. But you've had the blue, you've had the white, and you've had the rosa.

Have I had the rosa?

Yeah, you had the rose on. Yes. Floral notes.

Yes.

All right, so this one is Pipeline Punch. Now, I don't just do this one willy-nilly. This is a sugary, John. It's dangerous. It genuinely tastes like diabetes.

It's my flavor.

This is your bag. The colder, the better on this one. I don't think we got it cold enough. It's chaps, bro. Yeah, we did our best. This one, the colder, the better. It is just the flavor of the tropics. It's the flavor of the tropics. It's exotic, and it makes you feel rejuvenated. Give that one a sip. I know you're not drinking the whole thing anymore. Yeah. It does.

All right.

But yeah, you can taste the difference in the sugar. It smells banging in it.

It does. It's got estes of a Fanta fruit twist. It does.

Yeah, it's very fruit twisty.

It's nice.

I like it. Gang.

I do like this one.

I have about one of those a year when I'm suffering. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm suffering.

You can obviously feel the difference in every single one you take.

Obviously, you're like your blood vessel gets used to it. Yeah, the sugar in it, it gets your blood going. But the crash?

Oh, I bet.

Caffeine and sugar, simultaneous.

Yeah, we swerving it.

You're going through the floor.

Say, LS. Okay, they're nice. All right, gang. That one is nice, rather.

What's your ranking system?

That's annoying because I'd have to try them back to back to back to have a better memory. I did really like the white one when we first had it. I've had white, I've had blue, I've had this, and I've had-Rosa. Rosa. I would say white, probably this, number two. Blue and then Rosa. I can't really remember the Rosa one. I know it had the floral notes and the floral essences, but I can't really remember the feeling I felt. But I would go white and punch top two so far.

Fair. All right, gang. Cool. People have been messaging me just pictures of once a every day. Every day.

Why? They hope it's a game.

I don't know. It's just a cult, bro. That's jokes. Yeah, we just sip stuff and then talk about it. Fair play. But we've got question of the week, no? We do have question of the week this week. What's the title again?

What is something your parents lie to you about that you believed? Cool.

You want to go or me go?

That their names are Mom and dad.

Bro, it's actually crazy that in every household, universally, for some reason, there's nothing more disrespectful than calling your dad by his name, especially Mom. Yeah. Calling your mom.Calling your mom, Sarah, whatever, is immediate hands. Yeah, facts.

It's a level of disrespect you can't come back from. Yeah, no way. You can't come back from that.

It's crazy.

It's Until they die.

Yeah, I remember the transition from mommy to mom was enough.Yeah. I remember that was daddy to dad was terrifying. I remember being... Where was I? I think... Where was I? When I decided, I think I was in year six because I knew it was getting on now. I was like, the Broskies can't hear me say daddy. We say daddy, yeah. Cool, the grown man daddy. No, Bro, come on, man. I'm like, three years from puby, this can't run. I remember the day I think my dad put us to bed and then was leaving the room and I said, Night, dad. I remember my heart stopped. I was like, Night, dad. And he stopped and was like, Night. And walked off. I remember when he left, I was like, Fuck, I didn't know what was going to happen. You didn't know if you had breakfast the next day.

You didn't know whether you have breakfast the next day. When I look back, I said, Night. I'll see you in the morning.

Yeah, swear. Dad. Yeah. I'll see you pay rent. That's what you said. You got rent money. All right. You got big money. Yeah, you got big point now. Sleep on a fucking floor. All right, cool. My dad said, Bro, my parents used to tell me when I turned the light on in the car at night, we'd get pulled over and I'd get arrested.

Every motherfucker put that. Bro? My parents taught me that when I was My dad used to say that the cars in front of us or the cars coming towards us would think there's two cars in a row and it'll cause an accident.

It didn't even make sense, but I was like, Okay. Let me be careful. Yeah, off. Let me be careful. Yeah, off. Do you know how crazy that is?

He said he is?

He'd think there's two cars back to back and it'll cause an accident.Oh.

My God. Parents will say anything.Anything..

I believed it for years.

All right. What's something your parents lied to you about that you believed? Come here, it's fine. I won't hit That's not on.

I don't think I ever got that one. Did you?

No. Not the entrapment of, Come here, it's fine. I won't hit you. I would just get beat. So no, I didn't get that one.

Drinking milk would make me grow. It did nothing but give me kidney stones, and I'm still the same fucking height.

Kidney stones?

Kidney stones. I've heard that's the most painful thing.

Yeah, my mom had those. Really? When I was probably either primary school or probably year seven. No, probably primary school. Yeah.

Yeah. She didn't piss them out?

I think she went to the hospital, bro. And they got them removed because I remember she had them in the little... Yeah, she had them in one of them things. Yeah, I remember. Fuck.

I'm praying I never get that.

I'm praying kidney stones.

Yeah. What's the point? Facts. As beautiful as a human body is, sometimes it does shit that's just not necessary. What do you mean, stones in my kidneys?

That's crazy. Crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. All right, cool. If I scratch my belly button, my stomach will explode. I've never heard that. I've never heard that.

What's the issue with letting your child scratch their belly button? Fuck knows. Parents see anything that annoys them and just says, That's enough.

Yeah, let me make up a lie.

Yeah, that's enough. What's a lie your parents told that you believed that they loved each other? That's a preach.

Yeah,yeah. Yeah.

That's simultaneous.

Yeah.

That they loved each other. Goodness me.

That they sold my siblings because they were too stubborn.

There was man in here before you.

And we sold them because they were stubborn, so you better act up.

Stubborn? Yeah. We sold your siblings. That's terrifying. Right. If I went too long without eating and my stomach started to rumble, those are little monsters growing in there, and they would start eating me from the inside out. Oh my God.

Why would you do that to a kid?

Let them be hungry if they don't want to be hungry.

Why would they do that to a kid? That's crazy.

What family is so concerned about you eating that if your stomach rumbles one time, there's monsters in there and about to eat you up?

The only way I can flip it is if maybe they're at the dinner table and the kid isn't eating. And then the stomach's rumbling, they're like, Oh, to scare him to eat.

Because he don't like asparagus and then thing like, Yeah, that's the only thing I can think of.

Fucking eat. Yeah, it's a lunch that he didn't want. Yeah. All right, next one. If you cross your eyes whilst the wind hits you, you will remain outside forever.

Yeah, I remember that. They said about pulling silly faces as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope that wind don't change, boy.

Your face will stay that way.

Yeah, you're going to stay that way. I just think, what does wind change you for me?

That was the eyelid one for me. You used to do that to me? I didn't used to do it. I tell her, I actually think I did. But I've heard people used to say back in the day, if the wind hits you doing that, you'll stay there or you go blind. You'll go blind? Yeah, one of them. I stopped doing it that day. I stopped doing it that day.

You'll go blind. Bro. Oh, bro. Them joints are pink on the inside of it. Yeah, they are. I used to hate them people. Them bitches are pink. They are.

Wow.

Okay, cool. This was jokes. This was fucking jokes, bro. When the ice cream truck plays the music, it means the ice cream's finished. I'm sure you said your mom used to say that. Probably, bro. I'm sure you said it's on this pod. I don't remember When the ice cream truck plays this music, it means the ice cream's finished.

I'm sure you said your mom used to say that.

Probably, bro.

I'm sure you said it's on this pod.

I don't remember that. When the ice cream truck plays this music, it means the ice cream's actually finished.

Yeah, I'm sure. I feel like you did. My mom's just started his shift. He's trying to shot. That's backwards, man. They really don't want their kids to be happy sometimes.

To be I'll be surprised if I said that one. My mom actually used to dub us with some ice cream.

I've heard someone say that before, and I feel like it was in the studio.

Maybe. It sounds like something Jacob would say.

Maybe. Who knows? Manikins are children that misbehaved in stores.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. That sounds like some Hansel and Gretel type thing.

Bro, that's scary.

That is scary. That's really scary.

You can't tell a kid that, man.

We used to hide in the close shop. I remember you telling me. That's when I got lost.

Yeah. I was like, Mom, and she She sparked you. When you were united, she sparked you.

Yeah, bro. River Island, I'll never forget. My parents were never together and married other people. But when I was 11, Oh, God. What? I know I wrote this, but I wrote it like a week ago. And it's, wow. Okay. Wow. My parents were never together and married other people. But when I was 11, I caught my dad finger in her, and they gaslit me until my dad's funeral. I called my mom out, and she finally admitted it. Fingering is absolutely diabolical. I think I would rather walk in on my parents' fucking than my dad fingering.

100% because you have no decorum for where you are.

Fingering is You're nuts, bro. Do you understand? Your parents are sick. Yeah. Your parents are bossy. Yeah, they're horny. And they're married to other people.

She denied it till his death there.

Yeah. Till the day he died.

That's crazy.

Until his funeral, where she said, I know it was you. That's crazy. I know he think it was you. The mom said, Fine.

Fine. It was him. Fine.

Yes, he did. Are you happy?

That's crazy. Oh, God. My mother told me she had a brain tumor, so I do my chores. Oh my god. That's not funny.

That's not funny.

That's trauma.

The two don't even come inside. They don't, bro. Oh, god. That's just guilt. Right. Last one for me. What's a lie your parents told that you believed? That if I look at a full moon, I'll wet the bed. That's the funniest one you've heard.

That's the funniest one you've read.

Oh my God. If I look at a full moon, I'll wet the bed. Bro, there's no incentive to tell a child he can't look at the moon. Why would you tell him that? Oh, God, that's funny. That's fucking funny.

Oh, God. That was actually hilarious. Bro. That was fucking hilarious. Oh God.

That made me sweat.

Fuck's sake. What is something your parents lied to you about that you believed? That my mom got pregnant with my brother by praying extra hard. Be fucking for real. You ain't Mary. By prayingExtra Hard.Extra Hard.Site and else is extra hard. Extra hard.Sighton else is extra hard.I.

Prayed extra, extra hard.

That Jesus was on the roof watching to see if we were being naughty. Jesus? Jesus was on the roof.

That's hilarious.

I caught my mom farting and she told me it was her back, and I believed her.

Mom's popping is the most Bartest thing.

Pet both, bro.Yeah, both. Yeah, both.

I remember my dad used to fart and just not say shit, and he just opened the windows in the whip.

My dad would fart watching football and not move. He would just fart and continue watching football. It would startle the whole family, and he would just continue watching football. My Yard, My Roles. It's natural, though. Oh, my fucking God.

I'm laughing today. I'm laughing today. Bro, it's crazy.

I'll do one more. All right, great. What is something your parents lie to you about that you believe? If you whistle during the night, you're calling out for ghosts. What? You're calling out for ghosts. That's funny.

Oh, God. Parents are the funniest thing, bro. You're calling for ghosts. The thing is, the parents will say it. The parents will say it and forget about it in 10 seconds. 100%. The kid will remember it for the next decade.

100%.

And it just won't whistle Yeah, it's crazy. There's someone out there who hasn't seen a full moon because they don't want to piss the bed. Facts, bro. Bro, it's long. That's so funny.

I'm actually trying to think if there's anything that I believe, apart from the light in the car thing, is there anything I believe that my parents said to me?Arthritis.Yeah..

Can you feel this?

Yeah, that for sure.

I think they genuinely believe that, though. Yeah. Most people think they genuinely believe it.

I click almost every, pretty much every joint. Every joint Yeah, same. To be fair, I think that's it. I can't even think of one, but there's been loads for sure.

I think stuff like just misbehaving. They're just calling feds.

All right.

Call them feds and they'll take you.

All right. I don't think I've had that thought.

Or if I take my seat belt off, it's charged. If I take my seat belt off, police are pulling us over and they're taking I want, and it's not going to be my dad.

Because he's on tight. Yeah. He's on tight.

His seatbelt's on. Oh my God. But apart from that, I can't really remember that many. That many lies.

Anyway, guys, is it time for back to school?

No, we got the Whoop update first.

Yeah, we have got the Whoop update. Why do you do this? I don't know. Okay, cool. Okay, I thought you had a side to say. No, I'm chilling.

Okay, cool. Weep update. Quick and concise. Guys, if you are new here, you're wondering, weep update, what's that? That's this drawing on my wrist right here. You thought it was a Cartier. It's not. It's Whoop. This one. The one I can't lift.

I'm joking.

Love it. Man said, your walls is too heavy.

The one I can'tF. Energy.

I have to write here. I'm swear to you. All right, cool. This joint on my wrist, right here?

Yeah. Whoop, yeah.

This is a wearable fitness tracker. We are on an eight-week challenge. It's called the SMG Super 8, where Fuhad, I, Ennison, Rem, are challenging each other week by week to see who has taken their health and fitness the most serious, okay? This is measured across strain. That's based based on how much effort you're putting in your workouts, how much cardiovascular work you're doing on a day, and just in terms of day-to-day stress and strain. Recovery, which is dependent on heart rate variability.Resting heart rate. Resting heart rate.

Sleep. Sleep. Skin temperature.

There's loads. Skin temperature. Diet comes into it. Just a whole bunch of stuff. How much you are recovering day after day after day. And then finally, sleep. How well are you sleeping? How many hours are you awake at night? How much rem sleep are you getting? How much light sleep are you getting? All that stuff, right? Every week, we've been measuring how we're getting on. This is now week 6.

6. We're tallying up for week 6.

We're tallying up for week 6. Oh, wow.

Damn. It's many. I'm a week behind. I feel like I'm a week behind, yeah. I thought this was tallying for week 5, and we're in six now.

That's what I thought.

We're in 7 now, tallying for six.

Yeah, crazy.

Damn, fuck. Yeah, crazy. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Okay, guys. So cool. After week 6, the standing is in the fourth place, we have Ellis with 41 points. Nice. In third place, we have Fuhad with 43 points. Second place, we have Rem with 44 points. And in first place, we have... James. James with 52 points. Okay.

Okay, two weeks left?

Two weeks left. Two weeks left. Full disclosure, though, this is the time for you, man, because we are going away next week.

I'm away this week and next week.

Yeah, Fuhad is charged. For us, charged. So he's away this week and next week. I'm away next week. I don't train on work days, as we know. So it's an opportunity for you, man, to do some stuff. But yeah, I didn't actually get... Where did I land on Strain? Because I've been coming last every week on Strain. I'm last. I was third.

Yeah, I was last.

Fair. You, man, Averaging 14.9, 14.7, you, man, have been straining. Yeah. You might have been straining.

I have to do some.

Fair. I really, really, really wanted one week where I could beat one of you, man, on a strain. I don't think I've beat either of you, man, for the entire thing on a single week for strain. It's not going to be this week. Maybe next week. I think I can do it next week.

The recovery and sleep for me has always merced me. I think more my recovery than my sleep because I could have six in a bit to seven, and it's in par with almost everyone else, but it's the recovery that fucks.

Yeah, I've been blessed with recovery.

I don't think I've ever seen you in green.

I've had maybe four greens in six weeks. Really?

You've not had many greens at all. Same with me. I've had three greens, probably.

You're a snorer there as well, aren't you? Snorer. I promise you I recognize a It's a lot to do with it. Interesting. I think I asked you this. I've never asked you, do you check your actual light sleep awake?

I see it, but I don't look at it.

I look at mine religiously. I would reckon, yeah, I reckon you'll probably be in a snora, you'll probably awake a lot. So even if you get nine hours, I reckon you're awake for a bit.

Without, yeah, subconscious sleep.

Yeah, subconscious sleep or in light sleep for ages.

When you sleep, even if you have a long sleep, do you feel rested?Not always.Yeah, because that's the thing. You might not be, like James said, you might just be awake in the night. Because I get that a lot. I can sleep nine hours and still feel terrible. I have not slept.

If I get a solid eight in there. I think the other day, I got 98% recovery. I was bouncing off the walls. You, man, I'm locked in with it. Anyway, guys, here's the plan, right? So after we finish this, it's clear no one can touch me. So we're going to have to take the challenge outside of the studio to make it... I want to wet my cheek a little bit. I want to feel challenged. In order to make that happen, what we need you to do, guys, is go to join. Woop. Com/sng, okay? Head on over there and you can get a woop and you can try it for 30 days It's risk-free. Zero commitment. If you don't like it, charge it. But you all like it. And what's going to happen is in two weeks time, when we finish this, guys, we are setting up a 12-week Whoop challenge with all of you guys. We're going to open up our community tab where everyone can join all together. There's a sick chat function in there so we can all keep up. You guys will see where everyone is. You can see when Daddy's had a bad night's sleep.

Facts. And I'll be expecting messages to see Wagwan. And you can see when I'm rested. So Join us, guys. I want to see elite athletes in there. I want to be asking people for tips. Sharon, how are you getting that recovery up? Dave, why are you going for this strain? It's not making sense. Guys, join. Woop. Com/sng. Join us on the 12th Half Week, SMG Challenge. We said, guys, in three months time, pretty much just in time for the O2 show, everyone in there is going to be grown and sexy.Wooped up.Yeah. Minimal garms will be worn because everyone's carved out of their skin. I'm very excited. Right, so next up on the agenda, we have back to school.

My favorite topic.

Okay, let's do it.

Ellis, can you please remind the class of the scores, please, sir?

Yeah, so scores are James four, Rem one, Ellis one.

Let's go, guys. If you're new here, which you shouldn't be, and if you are, you should be ashamed of yourself. Back to school is all about getting you literally back to school. I'll be asking the guys key stage three It could be a variety of mass English, science, Spanish, French, who knows? And yeah, they have to get the answers right. Five questions, five answers, and they swap the whiteboards at the end. Question number one. What is the symbol for sodium? What is the symbol for sodium? Question number 2. See if you can find the pronoun, Pronouns? Pronouns in the following sentence. They were grateful for the hot tea mom gave them. They were grateful for the hot tea mom gave them. Question number 3. Spell frivolous. Spell frivolous. Question number 4. Ruby has 3 kilos of sugar. Megan has half as much as Ruby, and Ellie has half as much as Megan. How much sugar does Ellie have? Let me say it again. Ruby has 3 kilos of sugar. Megan has half as much as Ruby. Ellie has half as much as Megan. How much sugar does Ellie have? Final question. What is the capital city of Canada?

What is the capital city of Canada? Question number one. What is the symbol for sodium? What do you have on Alice's board?

Remro, S.What.

Did James write?Su.What.

Did Alice write?Su. You're all wrong. Unfortunately, it's NA. Na? Na. It's not applicable. Sodium. Sodium is NA. What's a issue? That's going to annoy me.Su is sulph.Sulf. Probably silicone. Or S is nothing, I think. I think S-I is silicone. See if you can find the pronouns in the following sentence. They were grateful For the hot tea mom gave them. The answers are they/them.

I'm such a fucking... Honestly, I knew it was they, and then I put mom. There's a second one. Mom is not her pronoun.

Mum's not far off, though. It's not far off.

It's so obviously they/then in hindsight. You can only get one point, I'm assuming, for each one, isn't it?

So this one, you can get two points. Okay, I got one. Yeah. So one for they, if If you got two, then it's two.

At least I got one.

Spell frivolous. The spelling is F-R-I-V-O-L-O-U-S. F-r-i-v-o-l-o-u-s. Us. Ruby has 3 kilos of sugar. Megan has half as much as Ruby, and Ellie has half as much as Megan. How much sugar does Ellie have? The answer is 750 grams.

I don't know why I did, bro. I don't know why I did.

Neither do I, fam.

Neither do I. I just don't know what I did.

Last but not least, what is the capital of Canada? What's on your board?

Remro, Toronto.

What's on your board, Alice?

Vancouver.

And what's on your board? Vancouver. Vancouver. You were all wrong. He was right. The answer is Ottawa. Ottawa. Okay. Can we tally up the scores? If there is a sudden death necessary, I would continue. This one's out of six, yeah. This one is out of six because the A then was a two-pointer.

Cool.what did Rem get?Rem got one out of six.

Ellis, what did James get?

James got four out of six.

And what did Ellis get?One out of six.One out of six.

I'm not going to say enough. I'm not going to say anything.

I was about to wipe the iPad. That's back to school, guys.Fuena Matata is what they say. I hope you guys got six out of six at home. If you didn't, let us know what you got wrong. If you're playing along at home, let us know what you got right.

Okay, guys, we're going to take a very, very, very, very, very quick break. And this one's for the ladies, right? So listen close. We know how it goes on Valentine's Day. Your expectations are rock bottom, and sometimes your man pulls out of the bag and you rocked up empty-handed, and now you don't know what to do. And it's pie on your face. So if you don't know what gift to get him, it's not too late. Hindsight's 2020. We can run it back. Okay? Manscaped is here to save your love story with the all new performance package 5.0 ultra.

Let's go.

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Cupid approved. Right, let's get back to the episode. All right, cool. I know you wanted to speak about United. Which has been long-awaited. I'm very excited. I watched a bit of a United game the other day. Yeah, I watched you put pause on Rem's team. Yeah, I watched you put pause. I also watched an Arsenal game. That was fantastic. You made it good? That was sensational.

That was a good game.

Yeah, that was a good game. But just before you get into that, randomly, I was thinking, I know on Patreon, we do a lot of chat about music recently. Speaking of, guys, I didn't do my intro. If you would like to know what we're talking about, head on over to petreon. Com/schissengeeks. It's going to cost you £3 a month. £10 a day. Run the pizza, S&G. As you may have seen, if you follow us on any of your socials, we started mixing up the game on content over there. We just recently did a chef episode. We did. Where me and Fia took part in a cooking challenge. That was awesome and intense. We just did a vlog for Friud's birthday, which was also super fun. We have our Log Cabin show that we do, lots of games and video submissions and voice note submissions and all stuff from the fan base over there, as well as A gazillion episodes and just an overall good time. Indeed. But I was listening, do you ever just sing songs randomly without deep in what you're saying?

Sometimes, yeah. My brain does that a lot.

You're singing the lyrics, but I'm saying you don't-We're not digesting actually what you're saying. You're not digesting what these men are actually on about. Bro, I was singing, flipping, what's the song? Another Love by Tom O'Dell. I was randomly singing the song and I was thinking, This guy sounds like he's spitting. Let me actually deep the lyrics of what he's saying. I do this a lot. I was singing a song and I'll be like, This guy's running bars. Let me actually check the lyrics. I was like, Bro, do you know what this song is on about? Obviously, it's pretty obvious from the chorus. Man's on about a ting that he wants to give his all to, but he physically can't because his ex-ting took everything. There's a one bar in the second verse. Man said, If somebody hurts you, I want to fight, but my hands have been broken one too many times. So I'll use my voice. I'll be so fucking rude. Words, they always win, but I know I'll lose. And I'd sing a song that would just be ours, but I sang them all to another heart. And I want to cry.

I want to learn to love, but all my tears have all been used up. You, man. On another love. Yeah. All my tears have all been used up.

On another love, bro. That's penmanship.

Pen game. He's been through it.

Yeah, damn.

I was like, damn, Tom. You've been through stuff. My mom said, My hands have been broken too many times. I can't fight for you.

That is a ball. That's a ball.

Bro. Wow. I want to fight, but my hands have been broken too many times, bro. She took everything from me. I'm desperate to give it to you. I physically can't.

It's crazy how, like you said, sometimes we're deep in and singing lyrics or rapping along to stuff, and we actually don't put our minds and bodies into the soul of the person before me. The person before me, and when they were performing this song, they were in a space when they wrote these lyrics.

This is why they call them artists. Yeah, bro. This is why they call them artists, bro.

Because they're literally writing down how they feel. They're writing their pain. They're writing everything on that piece of paper. I can't do it. I could never do that.

I can't do it. I actually I've tried as well.

If I'm breaking down, the next thing I'm not thinking about is writing lyrics lyrics.

Yeah.

I'm not writing lyrics about my heartbreak. Yeah. I can't.

I physically can't. I can't. It would take me years of therapy to get vulnerable enough, and I've been vulnerable, you, man, to actually put pen to paper and be like, This is what she did to me.

This is what she did to me. This is how I feel. Damn. Yeah, fair play, man. Fair play. Those are bars. Fucking bars. My hand's been broken too many times. That's why I can't fight for you. On another love. Yeah, that's penmanship.

Wow, crazy. Anyway, united. United.

Yeah, guys, obviously, you guys know Die Hard, Red, Bleed Red, all them things there. Haven't spoken about my beloved Red Devils in a while. The reason why I stopped was because I said every time I predict something, it goes down the drain. I was sick and tired of predicting something, and then the match happening, and then the episode coming out afterwards. I'm like, Fuck this. I'm done with this. I'm absolutely done with this. We've had a rocky start to the season. We've had a rocky December as well. It wasn't the best for us, and we were losing a lot of players due to injury, and we just weren't finding our feet. We weren't finding our best start in 11. We were leaking in goals everywhere. It was very nerve-wracking to watch United play on a week-by-week basis. It's been like that for I can't remember the last time I've watched the United game and not been nervous.

Regardless of the opposition.

See, that's stressful. Regardless of the opposition. Because I could, for example, watch Newcastle versus Luton and be confident. At Newcastle, I'm going to tuck them in. I could watch Brighton and West Ham and be like, oh, right, this is going to be a fucking good game. It's not going to be an outright winner, but it's going to be a good game. You can have Brighton and United, bro. I would think on paper, United are tucking us in or United are winning. We get tucked in 3-1. That's crazy. Do you know what I mean? It's like, I've got to I'm going to get back now because we're not the same United we used to be. But as of 2024, I've let United breathe. I've just let them do their thing. There's a guy called Anthony. He has not been playing on the left wing anymore. It's been fantastic for us because he's on the bench, because he's not playing good football. We now have Rashford on the left and Garnacho on the right. We've not lost a game in 2024.Nice. I am so happy. There have been some scrapers. We played Wolves a few weeks ago.

We only beat them 4-3 at their end. And Kobi Meinu is a young, talented teenager, 18 years old, that is carrying the midfield at times sometimes. And it's just wonderful to see that we are back in a form and in a place that I can be proud and be happy to be a United fan. And just actually, even though it's still heart palpitations, I can be happy with the end result. I can be like, Okay, we go again next week. Nice. The last time we actually lost was in December. I think we lost to West Ham maybe on the 26th or something like that. But ever since then, we've been playing well. I've been happy with the squad. My most feared game was against Aston Villa that we played this week because I think the last time we played them, did we win? We beat you. I think we beat you at home, but again, it was a tough game. Aston Villa have had a very good run. They've been They were second for a while in the table. They've dropped down to, I think, fifth now, but they're still within European qualification positions. This is Aston Villa we're talking about.

They've never been there in their entirety. Right now, we have almost one of the best run of forms, bar Man City. We've got a really good form going on right now. It's just nice to see. The point difference is still the point difference. It is what is we just have to keep winning. We just have to keep winning. I think someone asked me on the Zoom, our last Zoom that we did, do I think United are going to get European position? I still think we will get fifth. We will be lucky to get fourth, but I still think we will get fifth. I'm just happy to see that we're in a better place. And touch wood, if we keep all the players that we have fit and healthy, I think we'll be back and better. And just this half of the season is going to be our season. It's going to be a better season than it's been, bro, because Eric's in the hargue is on the ropes. Fair play.

I'm glad for you, Jay. Yeah, I was watching it I was at the gym the other day with Lewis and the Arsenal game came on and it was lovely. I think I enjoy being around people that like watching football. Yeah, I enjoy being around people who love football way more than I enjoy watching it and just watching it with him. And he was saying at the start, he was like, bro, West Ham, we've struggled to score against them. It's up to him in 6-0.

4-0 in the first half is great. It should have been more.

Yeah. Because he was like, I don't think we can go and train until I'm confident that I I can leave my team to get on with it.

Yeah. Okay.

I don't think we can go upstairs and hit the gym until I know that they're in safe hands. Yeah, I would have probably done the same. Yeah. 4-0. He was like, All right, let's go.

Let's go. We would have had to stay the whole night in four minutes. We wouldn't have trained, bro. We wouldn't have trained until that United whistle, that final whistle was blown at the United game.

Yeah, but the first thing I was like, Phil is going to be stressed because they've got Aston Villa and they've had a season. They've had a season.

United Emory has done bits for that team. The one thing that pissed me off was Unite Emre came, I think, at the midway last season, and his first game was against United at their ground, and we lost 3-1. It's never a good time to play your team midseason with a manager change. It's never good, regardless of the team. It's never good because the spirits of the team are high. We've replaced the manager as a newfound love, a new found spirit, and everyone just wants the ball out. And since then, bro, Villa are playing like Newcastle were playing last season. And I remember I was saying last season, Newcastle are going to do top four. They did top four.

Fair play.

I still think as the Villa will get Europe. I don't think they'll get a Champions League.

All right, bet.

But yeah, very, very, very strong season for them. I think what United States has done for Aston Villa, I have to hold my hands up. It's amazing to see. As a football fan, it's amazing to see, bro. These last few seasons have made the Premier League very much more like contesting with Aston Villa, New Castle, West Ham, Brighton. I would say those four teams have made the top half of the table beautiful to watch football.Beautiful to watch football.So less.Yeah, mom.

Say less.

All right.Yeah, mom.Bet. That's all I have to say.

Gang, I'm glad we get back into it.

We're getting back into it.

All right, Bet. Right, I've got a dilemma. Okay. Again, from our favorite Ghostwriters, 6 Brown Chicks, yeah?

Yeah, I love them.

So, meetings from Mississippi. I'm a married high school art teacher. I had an affair with the married father of one of my top students. We were careful and responsible. We were only having fun. We were never meant to ruin our home fronts. Right before Christmas break, my student used her father's laptop to complete an assignment, and she found our Facebook messages. She captured the racy messages, printed them out, and gift-wrapped Christmas gifts with the messages. She gave the gifts to her friends.

What?

Bro, the messages are embarrassing. Quotes, I can't wait to ram that dick down my throat again, et cetera, et cetera. The DMs blew up with pics of this. I'm sorry, my DMs blew up with pics of this. Former students are threatening to create a T-shirt line with the What's their business? She said, Sorry, former students (who I failed) are threatening to create a t-shirt line with the messages. My husband is... My My husband is telling everyone to embarrass me. Facts. And he's leaving me. Facts. How do I stop the madness? I tried to have the student suspended, but the school doesn't want to get involved in a free speech lawsuit, and she didn't gift anyone on school grounds. I might lose my job. My lover has not responded to any of my messages.

I can't wait to ram that dick down my throat.

I knew that's the one that's going to stick your head. Two. Bro. Yeah, two. On Mark Zuckerberg's internet.

Brother, if I was in secondary school or whatever, and I saw that on my dad's laptop about my teacher, there's no way I'm printing that and wrapping that for gifts for the I'm closing the laptop and I'm going to bed. You're embarrassing your surname still. A hundred %. What do you gain from that?

Yeah, bro. What do you gain from it? Even it's all your bredrins saying, Look at my dad, look at my dad, look at my dad. That's insanity.

So embarrassing, bro. That's insanity, bro.

Yeah, I'm not on that. But damn. There's no advice. My lover won't respond to any of my messages.

He's not your lover.

Yeah, he's done. He's definitely not your lover. He's done now. He wrist it all and he lost it all. Fax, bro. He wrist it all and he lost it all.

Yeah, it's the dice you rolled.

Yeah, boy. Stuff like that makes me laugh. Right that dick down my throat. You can't send messages like that.

You cannot.

Because I'm coming to school. What do you mean, man?

I'm picking up at you every day.Oh God. Jesus Christ.

That's such a message. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

This is crazy stuff.

You I know he pulls up in a suit as well. He does.

You just know he does.

Just a little bit. One of my top students. I know we skipped it last week, but I have Who am This week?

I'm guest.

I know you guys sometimes have to use your boards for notes and shit, so feel free, whatever. You're locked in today? It's all in there. This one, last time I did it a little bit different. You guessed Kanye West. Very well done. You did a good job. Do we have the scores or no?

Yeah. Scores are three, rem two, me zero.

Damn, rem two as well. Three, two. Okay, gang. Very nice. Before, as I was doing it, I was doing, Chapter 1, give you a chance. Chapter two, give you a chance. Chapter 3, give you a chance. This time, similar to last time, I'm going to go through the whole thing, and then it's first come, first served. This one is in the form of a A letter. So I've written this one in the form... Oh, my God.

You're creative.

You're creative, isn't it?

You're a creative, isn't it? Say, Let's do your fucking letter.

Read your letter.

So this one is in the form of a letter. So this is the character sending a letter to his love. Yeah? All right, Bert. All right. My dearest W. Since I last saw you and returned here to the troupe, I feel lost. Me and the boys are all just lost. Without your love and guidance, we're just a bunch of kids playing at being soldiers. They think I can lead them and I can't. They put me on a pedestal, and I won't lie, most of the time It's got my head in the clouds. It makes me feel like I can do anything. But the reality is, it's all just make believe. The enemy is fast-approaching, and I'm not sure we're going to win this one. He scares me. He'll never know it, and I'll never show it, but he really, really scares me. When I close my eyes at night, I see his face and I panic. He's got his hooks in and I can't escape. But I know time is on my side. There's no escape in the clock, and the jaws of death will get to him way before me. Please come back, W.

You belong here. This is your home. This is your land, and I'll never tell you any different. She's got nothing on you. She's half the woman you are, and she sits on my shoulder like a little devil, and whispers lies and promises magic. Just come home, W. We're lost boys without you.

It's penmanship, I have no clue.

Cool. You're welcome to take guesses now, or I can do what I did last time. Go through it and reiterate the clues in the letter.

I have no guess for now. Peter Pan.

It's fucking Peter Pan. Well Well fucking done. Well fucking done.

Let's go. I was never getting it. Now I know the answer Peter Pan, I was never getting it. Get me the fuck out of here, man. No way. What made you get it? Who I can go away? Enemy has hooks. Also, wait, let me see. I was playing on the W thing. I was trying to figure W. Peter Pan leads his soldiers. Jaws of enemies approaching. There was something else as well that I didn't write, but yeah, I thought Peter Pan was… Actually, I was thinking more shoulder. Shoulder was Tinkabelle. I wanted to say Tinkabelle. I was thinking, No, I don't think it was Tinkabelle. Then being the hook, that was Definitely. Yeah, Peter Pan.

Well, fucking done.Fair enough. I'll go through and I'll tell you. So W is Wendy. I'm pretty sure Homegirl's name is Wendy. I didn't even double check to see if it was Wendy.

I don't have anything about Peter Pan. I think it is Peter Pan and Wendy.

My dearest W, W is Wendy. Since I last saw you and returned here to the troupe, that being the troupe of the Lost Boys, I feel lost. Lost Boys. Me and all the boys are just lost. Lost Boys. Without your love and guidance, with just a bunch of kids, they're all kids, playing at being soldiers.

That's what they do. I think I've seen Peter Pan once. I would never have gotten this.

I've never seen it. They think I can lead them and I can't. Peter Pan is their leader. They put me on a pedestal and it's got my head in the clouds. He flies. They make me feel like I can do anything, but it's all just make believe. In Neverland, it's all just made up. The enemy is fast approaching, and I'm not sure we're going to win this one. He scares me. He'll never know it, and I'll never show it. In Peter Pan, He always mocks Captain Hook, never shows him that he's scared, but he really, really scares me. When I close my eyes at night, I see his face and I panic. He's got his hooks in, Captain Hook, and I can't escape, but I know time is on my side. There's no escape in the clock, and the jaws of death will get him way before me. So Captain Hook gets followed by a crocodile who swallowed a clock. So Captain Hook is always tormented by the sound of a clock.

That's right.

Which is in the belly of a I was trying to kill him. So the Jaws of Death being the crocodile and the there's no escape in the clock will be the ticking he always is. Please come back W, Wendy. You belong in... This is your home. This is your land. And I will never tell you any different. Neverland. She's got nothing on you. She's half the woman you are, Tinkabelle. She sits on my shoulder, Tinkabelle, like a devil and whispers lies and promises magic, Tinkabelle. Just come home, W, Wendy. We're all lost boys without you. The Lost Boys.

Fair play. Again, yeah. Fabulously written.

Oh, thank you very much.

Very, very well written, bro. But yeah, I was never getting that. I don't watch. I don't think I've-That was a childhood staple for me. Disney movies as a kid. Never getting that. So well played for getting that.

Yeah, fucking well played. Very well played. Good job. That's a Peter Pan on the first. That's made me very fucking happy. I was thinking Peter Pan.

The I was thinking, Alice, guess, please. I thought it was some soldier.

I thought it was some soldier. For some reason, the first one that popped in my head was John Snow.

I don't know why. John Snow. I thought as soon as you started saying this, that, but it's when you said W, I was thinking it can't be. I was thinking Napoleon.

I wanted to write it as if it was like a Napoleon-esque type thing. So three all now?

Yeah, three all.

Yeah, three all. Well fucking played. I'm really happy you got that one. Good job. Good fucking job. Okay, so you've Reddit post for us.

My husband is becoming more and more feminine. I've been in a relationship with my husband for five years, married for one. He's always had some feminine hobbies/traits. For instance, he took ballet classes while we were in college, in brackets she wrote), and was doing them at the time we met. He has always had plenty of female friends, and he worked for three years in an all-women workplace. Also, his best friend is gay, and he sometimes goes out with him in a to gay bars and clubs. I could accept all that and it didn't bother me. I could accept all that and it didn't bother me much. Although I did worry in the first 2-3 months of us dating that he might be a closeted gay. Those concerns quickly abated in I discovered he has a very high libido and is clearly attracted to me and is turned off by guys. But in the last year, he has had something of a transformation. He has grown his hair long, He has adopted a skincare routine. He is dressing well and learning about color matching. He has a hair care routine that is more onerous than my own.

He has gotten into self-care, including going to spas, massages, sauna, and having regular baths with bath bombs. Then this week, he got his ears pierced. Okay. I asked him why he would pierceI was on his side until now. I asked him why he would pierce his ears. He said that he thought it would look good and he wanted to wear earrings. He is currently wearing small emerald green studs in each ear. Green? This is all very feminine, and I'm starting to worry that there might be something else deeper going on there and it could be bad for our relationship. Has anyone ever encountered this before? Should I talk to him about it and ask why he's doing all of this, or should I try and let it go?

First, just off the jump, sounds like you're getting what you signed up for.

Factual.

You're linking a ballet dancer.

Since college, he's been on this stuff.

This is what he's on.

This is what he's on.

And he likes to express himself.

He likes to physically express himself. And this is what he's been about. You said it didn't bother you before. You knew his best friend was gay. You knew he went to gay bars. This is the dice you were-This is the guy you got.

Bath bombs on them thing. I don't like baths, but can imagine if I was a bath guy, a bath bomb would be pretty sweet.Facts, bro.That effervescence?

Yeah, you can't... What's the word I'm looking for? You can't attribute a bath bomb to a sex. Yeah, you can't.

Bath bombs are bath bombs, man.Facts. They're gender neutral. They're gender neutral. Bro, but earring thing's a bit crazy.Emeral green.Emeral green earring starts on each ear. A grown-ass man said, I wanted to wear earings. Is not. But no judgment, bro. No judgment. This is who you signed up. The only thing in these situations, all I would ever say, if this guy fucks you like he loves you, then we're kosher.

We're calm. Like you said, his libido is very high and he's clearly attracted to you. He doesn't really fuck with guys in that way. So he's got gay friends, but that's it.

Yeah, he married a ballet dancer and this is what you got. Facts, bro. But that's an opener shot.

That is an opener shot. Clearly, it bothers her.

It does.

And if it bothers you, then obviously it bothers you.

So one of them things is I think also people are quick to... It's very easy when you're defending someone to begrudge the other person. Yes. But I think it's easy to... Sometimes you forget that being bothered by stuff isn't optional. You can do stuff to work on it, but if you do something to piss me off, it's not because I want to be pissed off at you. It's just you do shit that bothers me. Yeah. I'm sure she doesn't want her husband to do shit that bothers her. I'm sure she doesn't want to be bothered by what her husband does, I should say. So that sucks. That causes concern for you. But yeah, big man thing, as long as he's clapping those cheeks and as long as the clapping cheek is also not making you feel sus, it's like straight doggy pitch black. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pitch black.

Yeah. I want to call you Brian.

Anal only. Yeah.

Facts. Yeah. Yeah. Keep those nails to yourself. Yeah. Socks on, all that. Jesus Christ. Yeah. As long as the sex is not making you feel uncomfortable and he's actually thinking, this guy is attracted to me, then it's calm, isn't it? This is what you asked for. But that's all I have to say on that. Facts.

I cosign, bro. There's nothing else that can be said. You knew what you signed up for.

Gang. Okay. Right, guys. So we're going to charge it there. Yes, sir. Thank you very much. Again, head on over to patreon. Com/schissengigs. £3 a month. Rundapiece at SMG and join us over there. If you are watching on YouTube and you're still here, thank you so much. And if you're not subscribed, please subscribe right now. If you're listening on any other audio platforms, please leave us a nice review. And yeah, we'll see you next week. Love of love.