What feels close to begging but isn't.

Okay.

Asking for your money back was heavy on number one. Double texting.

I've double texted a few times in my life. I've done it way too many times. But these days, if you catch me double texting, I will double down. The second text will be, Why are you ignoring me? I love you. Please answer.

Yeah, the double down will be heavy. Yeah. Number three. Asking someone to read the room before they act out. Please don't make a fool of yourself. Long story short, please. Before they act out. Yeah.

Okay.

Being in sales.

I begged. When I was in sales before, I begged, and it was embarrassing. All I needed was one person to be like, You're embarrassing yourself.

What a jump.

I remember negotiating in David Lloyd for a guy to sign up.

So the last day of the January.

It wasn't that one, but when I needed that commission, I was going back and forth with an Indian geezer about whether he should have six free guest passes or seven.

And I was like-Commission will do that to you.

I was thinking, Is this where I'm at? Is this where I'm at?

Commission will send a man over the edge.

And I'm just there like, Please, please. And he's like, Bro, just what else can you do for a man? And I'm just like, Oh, my God.

Was the commission a significant difference between six and seven?

It was probably, I think it was £35 for you had.

But you needed the £35. I needed every penny.

Yeah. Fuck, man. Fuck off, man. I hate it. Begging is right.

It is. What feels close to begging but isn't. Job interviews. Because please, isn't it? Please, isn't it? Bro. I'm giving you my all. I'm selling myself.Literally.

Please take me.I need to be. That's what I was saying on this is why I hate. The more the team grows, and now when everyone starts, I can't stand watching people on their first day or their first week.

Okay.

When Anna was in here the other day and you were just asking, Oh, are you coming in on Wednesday? And she was like, Oh, I can.

It's a panicked thing.

After you left, I was like, Do not come in on Wednesday. She was like, No, it's fine. I'm not doing anything. I was like, You what? It's a day. Do not come to London. You don't need to be here. You're saying yes because you're scared.

Yeah, facts. You're scared.

You don't need to be scared.

Oh, God.

Don't come in.

Yeah, damn.

Oh, God. That's so factual. Job interviews, bro.

That's so factual.

They go against my moral compass.

I hate them What feels like begging but isn't. Visa applications.

I've obviously never done one, but I bet. What's even on there? Why should we allow you in here?

I have no idea. Are you looking at me because you thought I've-No, I didn't think you...

I know you were born here. You were born here, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, but I'm assuming it's like, why should we let you? What can you bring to our country? I know I applied for a visa in Australia is supposed to be next level hard. If you're not a nurse or-It's what you can bring to the community.

Oh, bro.

Are you serving Australia or not? Man's talking about fucking... You do pottery or some shit. They'll be like, Get the fuck out of here.

If you want to work in Australia, you have to do...

Yeah, they send you to the field. They send you to the car fields, bro. It's fucked. That's bonkers to me. They'll send you to the fields to work on a farm for a month. That's bonkers. You want to stay here?

But then again, in Nige, you have to serve for a month. You have to serve the country for a month if you want to work there.

Does anyone want to work in Nige that bad?

There's money to be made in Nige, to be fair. Swear? Yeah, there's oil and shit. Oh, fair.

Serve.

Yeah, it's called... Is it called NYC? Nysc? Google it for me, please. I can't remember what it's called. I think it's called NYSC. National Youth Service Corp. National Youth Service Corp. Yeah, so you have to do that if you want to work in Nij.

Mental. That's only if you're... Is that if you're from Nij as well?

I believe it's only if you're from Nij. I don't know if it's if you are just like, Ellis, for example, going to Nij to work. I doubt he'd have to do that because he won't survive that.

Damn son.

He won't survive that. Oh, I don't think he would. I think the culture shock would ruin you.

I think it would ruin me.

I know it would ruin you. I would love to be a fly on the wall and see you do NYSE. I've never done it.

I don't know what it looks like. It sounds boiling. For starters, it sounds boiling.

Boiling a malaria, non-free.

A new manager is so blunt.

Yeah.

I know my captain will be too blunt for my liking.

If we play the Nigerian poetry, it will come out. Yeah.

It will come out. No, no, no, no, no, Give me the money back.

Yeah, give me the money back. That was us first time going to Miami. With the shoes? With the shoes.

I remember.

I ran to the store with it. I made sure the box was in pristine condition.

It was in Macy's. I know it was. First of all, the shoes were hideous. They were terrible. I remember, so for context for listeners, we've said it at least 100 times. The first time we went to Miami, we were poor. Understatement. Poor. There was a club we wanted to go to, and the promoter was like, Cool, you can come, but you're going to need... None of this trainer shit. You can't be wearing trainers in there. Go get some shoes. We went to Macy's and got the most bought as church shoes I think I've ever seen because that's just all they had. It was the only store that was open that time at night. I'm pretty sure it cost $40.

Yeah, I was going to say $35.

Yeah. I needed to send that bitch back. I had to send that bitch back.

Because we had no money. Because the day we It was returning. It was the day we were leaving. Yeah. We had no much money. We had no money for food. At the airport. Yeah, we had no money. Wow, we had no money for food.

We were poor, Ellis. So we returned the shoes. They should not have accepted mine back. They were trampled.

I dusted mine off.

I cleaned the fuck out of mine that morning. I dusted mine off. They should not have had them back. Gave my money back. Remember, it'd been $40. Ranned straight to McDonald's in the airport. I was starving.

Wow, we were poor. Randam, I can't wait for IHOP.

Ihop? We had not done that in a We had not done that in a minute. Damn.

I've got a few more, I believe. Cool. Asking for staff discount that I'm entitled to.

I remember, I think I've told this story before. One of my boys, Jason, back in the day, used to work in Foot Locker, and he had a 50% discount. I think so. And he dragged me all the way to Milton Keynes. And then I remember the day his boss was like, You can't keep doing this. And then when he told me I couldn't get the discount, he was just like, Cool. Sorry, but obviously, still, you came all the way here, get something in it. I couldn't afford a nine. I couldn't afford a single thing in that shop at full price.

Times were tough, man.

Really tough. I remember it got so bad as I started looking at socks and shoelaces. Just to see if I didn't have to leave here empty-handed. And I was like, What's going on? Socks and shoelaces. Yeah, it's the cheapest thing they had.

That's bottom barrel.

Yeah, bro. Because I still need to afford the bus home.

Yeah, fax.

Dark, man.

Damn. Right. What feels close to begging but isn't. A cover letter. I hated those motherfuckers. Cover letters are bullshit. What's the point?

That's a power play. That is a power play. And a cover letter is a fucking power play. I can say I'm pretty sure my brother's written cover letters for me before. I've never written a cover letter.

Because that separates the boys from the men. Yeah, 100%. Because if you really want this job, you'll write stuff about yourself. I didn't want it that bad.

I've never wanted it that bad. Fuckers, man. Also, who's ever employed someone said, I was iffy about the fucking CV, but that cover letter-That cover letter, though.sold it.

Yeah, it took you over the edge.

Never happened. I also saw what managers did with cover letters. When we're going through CVs, oh my God. I remember I went to a job one time. Once I started, I found out that all these noms were laughing at my CV. After you got the job? After I got the job. How did you find that out? Because that's just what we do. Because when next man was applying- Next man, you were laughing, too. We were all laughing at CVs, and I was like, Hang on. Yeah.

You started playing to it, too.

I said, Did you look at my CV when I applied? And then we're like, Oh, yeah.

Oh, we framed that, bitch.

Yeah, I was like, Yeah, we did. And I was like, Are you fucking joking? Gdp, I wasn't a thing then.

Fair.

And I was like, What joke is this? Yeah, I was hurt, boy.

Damn. Damn. All right, last but not least, what feels close to begging but isn't. Are you still coming? That would hurt me. That would hurt me to write and hurt me to read. Are you still coming?

Are you still coming? Oh, for God's sake, bro. That's why you have to phrase it then once. Like, still good for age.

Yeah, you're still active or not?

Still active? Because otherwise my mom's ask me to... So I just need to know. Are you still coming? Peek. Oh, the peak is. That was me and Vanslor Chels. She canceled dating me every day. Are you Still coming. And that was just like, still coming? And I was just like, Still on. I used to ask her the night before.

If she's still on for tomorrow.

Still on for tomorrow, but we ain't linking till 08:00 PM tomorrow. That's how desperate I was. That's how pathetic and desperate I was.

Fucking hell. Anyway, guys.Right. Charging it?Charging it, man.

All right.Thank you very much, guys. Indeed. Good Patreon episode.Basically.Love of love.Danie, I got.