I tracked my wife's phone because she's been acting shady and slipping out at night after I've gone to bed. I followed my wife and her bestie. The women were both dressed in black and dragging a white man into an alley. What? My wife straddled him and was kissing his neck. I called her name and my wife hist at me. Her friend and the guy who was born from his neck argued that I ruined their fantasy. My wife and her friend are members of an underground vampire sex club.

This can't be reality. I've lost trust in our marriage. My wife says she lost trust in me because I tracked her phone.

Who's wrong, bro?

My wife hist at me. Yeah, yeah. Donny said, Bro. You're f up the bass, bro. You're fup the bass, bro. You're fup the bass, bro.