Hey, guys. Well, really, your hair is really growing in there. It's very long.

Sean, I'm going to go ahead and let you start again. We need a little bit more enthusiasm when we're starting an episode.

Sorry. Hey, well, hair.

And welcome to an all new Smartness. Smart.

Lies.

Smart.

Lies.

Listener, every once in a while, Will and Sean and I have to have an adult conversation. We have to do a little bit of a Zoom. We need to talk about scary legal things. We just had one of those before this record. Sean got a real head full of steam going in his legal prowess and talking about You know how he looked through these documents and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. In walks an order of, presumably from an off-camera Scotty. That's correct. Two frost strawberry pop tarts and a half a glass of milk. That's right. He keeps talking in all his legal... He starts choking on his fucking frost pop tart offering legal advice to me and Will.

Jason, at one point, he says to you, Jason, he goes, with a mouthful pop tart, goes, If you want to sign it to me, I love reading that stuff. I go, You didn't even know the fucking document you were signing, pop tart?

Yes, I did. Jason just got back from vacation. How lovely.

I'm very lovely and relaxed. Will looks like he's been on vacation for six months. He's got some new lighting in the whisper booth there. I don't. He's got a nice tan from his Long Island condo. The light is great out here in the condo.

I was able to, via the kindness of others, get out and play some golf. I spent a lot of time with the kids out here. We've been out to the beach a lot.

Quick, what are What's his name?

Taryn. Glad Phil. No, that's right. Karen.

You don't even have a girl. It's four boys. Okay. Karen.

Well, you caught me off guard.

How's everybody doing? I always feel Jason, we never get to see you anymore.

I know.

We were saying Sean and I were FaceTiming last night. We were like, We haven't seen... We never get to talk to Jason anymore. It's not working. Even sometimes we do talk to him, and then Sean was like, I know, but we never get to meet the real Jason anymore. You know what I mean?

Well, he only goes out on Saturday nights. I was talking about you guys on my break about the fact that you guys do talk all the time, and we never talk.

Well, you're working 15 hours a day.

No, but even when I'm not- You hate a Zoom.

You hate a Zoom.

No, it's not about the Zoom. Why am I not that a friend that talks every day to his best friends?

I'll tell you why. Because you're always working, and when you have downtime, you just want to be by yourself, which I get.

You guys are so good about... I know, Will, you've got a nightly chat with the great Josh Shottland and probably with Sean P. Hayes.

I talk to a lot I talk to people pretty much on the reg. I talk to Sean not every night.

Short for regular. Listener, short for regular.

Once a week, probably. Twice a week, maybe. I talk to Clay every other day. I talk to Eli.

Jason, I always text you first before we talk because-But you know what's one of those things?

You got to also do it. It's like, you and Sweet Pete Giles would be great best friends because you guys like spending a lot of time alone.

We've got a bunch of dolls calls with pins.

You sent me a nice picture from your trip with that bucket, that sweet ass Sergio Tukini bucket hat that I bought you last year. I showed you.

It was a good use.

Don't you have a collection of puppets that you play with, Jason?

Yeah, they talk to me all the time.

You're also still really good friends with your gummies.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I talk to them. They never speak to me, but I'm speaking to them all the time. Can we please just give, I think the kids usually say a shout out to, a holla or whatever to our new host.

Then they might holla back, young. Yeah.

Of our podcast, Bad Dates. Yes. We have a new host, Joel Kim Booster.

He's hilarious.

He's going to be guiding us through all the legendary and insane true bad date stories the amazing guests reveal with all of their gory details you loved in season one.

Yeah, it sounds so natural when you say it like that. But no, this is our smart list media show called Bad Dates. We love this show. It was with Jamil and Jamil, and now it's with Joel Kim Booster, and it's going to be just as great. Everybody has bad dates. Everybody can relate to them. Yeah, we can relate to them.

Jkb is going to... By the way, my same initials, fun fact. Jkb. He's going to walk you through it.

Yeah. You can find new episodes anywhere you get your podcast because we all know the worst dates. Make the best stories.

That should be a line. That should be a tagline on the show. Let's get some bumper stickers going.

I'm really excited. I'm almost as excited about that as I am about my guest, my guest today. You guys are going to be excited, too. Now, first of all, man, this is nuts because this is one of those people that I have, and I don't want to embarrass him, and he knows that I don't know, but I super look up to him, which is not the most articulate thing I've ever said, but it is just it. I have been such a fan of what this guy does for so long, and there's an authenticity to who he is and how he does it that I've always just really responded to. Frankly, so have audiences around the world. Millions. Well, I mean, look, he's been nominated for like 120 awards. He's won 70 of them and everything.

Seventy.

Yeah. From Critics Choice to Gotham Awards to Independent spirit awards, MTV movie awards. That's what's an actor. To satellite awards, Saturn awards, Teen Choice Film Critics Awards, Green Actors. Teen Choice.

He started young.

Primetime, Emmy Awards, Golden Globe Awards, and BAFTA Awards, and Academy- British. Awards. Christian Bale. The old school Academy Awards. He doesn't have 70 wins. I mean, he's good, that guy, but Christian Bale, but he doesn't have 70. He doesn't have 70. This guy, you don't remember him from his first television appearance, which was on Mr. Rogers's Neighborhood way back in the way in the day. I might. What? You might remember him as co-starring with David Letterman on the Mary Tyler More Hour. You're more likely to remember him from things like Mr. Mom, Gung-ho.

Michael Keaton.

But to me, he is my Batman. You guys, it's Michael Keaton.

Welcome to the show. There he is. Michael.

He's got sunglasses on. Why do you have sun glasses on?

Sorry. Because I'm pretentious. Forget about that whole authentic thing. I had sunglasses on.

Now you're going to wipe it out.

Yeah. Well, this is interesting.

Hello.

Thanks. Hi, how are you? Welcome. The preamble.

It's obnoxious. I know. No.

It's too much. First of all, I was going to be a smart ass, but after Will being so sweet, now I can't be. No, you can't. Please be a smart ass. Oh, I can? Okay. I would think that if there's one area, one format, one show, one could be a smart ass. This would be it. It's half the title.

Welcome. Yeah.

This Where are we finding you? Where's that pretty, pretty wall that looks like a cabin of some sort?

Well, this is my home in Montana. Well, this is in the cabin of the property because the other house is being rebuilt.

Did it burn down?

Not down, but see? See smart ass?

I can't help it. You're going to have to bear with me.

Yeah, you threw something out there, and now it's hurtful. So Yeah, and this little house was reassembled from up the valley or down the valley, up the valley, many years ago. But that's where I am. That's where I'm sitting. That's so nice. But listen to the whole thing, how you guys do this. I have so many questions. Sure, go ahead. That's the whole show. Hit us. Do you validate, first of all? Do we do?

It's stickers. It's one of your questions, why would anybody listen to you, idiot?

No, we can't figure it out. Well, let me ask this.

You all have either adapted or you always had it.

You all now have a radio voice. Did you always have this radio voice?

We're learning from Will. Will makes me millions with those pipes. Yeah, I did. Give him a professional grade.

Seriously, Jason, you've got a calm, groovy thing going.

You're laid back. It's gummy-induced.

Yeah, I'm well. However you're getting there. You got that thing.

However you're getting. Mine's just annoying in Chicago No, yours is very witty.

Okay, well, there you go. I'll call you in a minute.

Here comes Will.

Will just got it. I didn't know. I swear to God this is true. When I would see those Reese's commercials, I'd say, That dude's funny. I swear to God, I didn't know who it was. There's a few people out there I'm looking at right now, and I watch these commercials. I saw a guy the other day. I don't know who the hell he is. He's so funny and so good in it. I was reminded of how hard it is to crack open, to have people see you, to find a spot. With just your voice. Yeah, no, seriously. Okay, Sean, I have a question for you. Did you and I not, many, many years ago, you were already nodding, right? We met a long time ago because you were working for a… Not many.

Yeah, I'm not saying many. Don't embarrass him now.

He's about to give you. He's just olive ranching it, and then you cut him off with the fucking many times?

What's wrong with you, Sean? He'll smile you right through the night.

Jesus, fuck. He'll smile you right through. That's right. That's his superpower. Am I wrong? You used to work for a catering company or something. Is this true when you were getting started?

When I first moved, the very first year, I worked at a restaurant called Red. Then part of that was to... Sometimes people would, I'm doing a wedding, so I'd do like to make an extra hundred bucks, I would help out.Yes.Yeah. It was...

I met you at a party, didn't I? That's right. I I said, Who's this funny guy? This guy's so witty.

That was-Let's hear this. That was over 30 years ago. Yeah. What an impression. Also, but I kept meeting you over and over, and Michael, we can cut this if you'd like, so don't worry. Anyway, I kept meeting you over and over because you used to date Julie Bowen.For.

A minute?For a minute.

That's great. Yeah, and I used to be friends with Julie Bowen, and I was always running to you at parties.Yeah.At that.Yeah.That whole time.Why.

Cut it?Who would want to call that? But by the way, why cut it? Who would want to call that? By the way, why You don't have to cut it. But also, you know what you could say so that you don't have to cut it? Say, And also, we both know Julie Bowen. You could have said that.

Are you fucking new today, Sean?

The fuck is going on? You're going to hop up on pop tart, sugar. Yeah.

I'm flying. Jason's on a gummy. I'm on a pop tart.

Sean got fired from that job, right? Sean, you ate into their profits.

By the way, no. Michael, was it at... I think it was at... Who played Goose in the original... What's his name? Anthony Edwards. Anthony Edwards. It was at Anthony Edwards house, and he was having a wedding for somebody.

I don't know, but don't go deeper because you already know. But poor Julian of God's- Michael, do you remember?

Now Julie's in a bind. She's having to explain to somebody where she was.

It was so easy just to say, Yes, we did. That's what happened. Yes, sir.

Seventy years ago, somebody saying, fucking Julie was... Remember she wasn't around? It turns out she was hanging.

Jesus. No, but I will say every single time I ran into, whether it was when I was around Julie or not, one of the nicest guys always, always, always. Oh, well, thanks. Yeah, always. Super funny and allowed me to be funny in front of you. You were very generous. I like funny people.

Michael, I don't know if you know this, too. Our mutual friend is Courtney Cox from years ago, and a good friend of ours. Jason was just on vacation with her. We're talking about. I remember saying to Courtney, I used to be... This is like 10 years ago, I'd go, What's Michael Keen like? I used to flip out because I was such a fan of yours for so long. Oh, yeah.

Still is. Probably It still is.

It still is. What I want to get into, and that's going to get me to my first thing, which is two things. Two movies that, to me, were like, and they're not underrated because they were big hits. But first of all, Mr. Mom, to me, was a genre A Changer. Nobody had done a movie like that. You did it with such ease. The great part was it wasn't putting down a stay at home parent. In fact, it was pumping it up.

A hundred %.

To me, that was what was so interesting about it. You know what I mean? Because especially in that time, those were different days back then. But you did it in this way that took that on and flipped it on its head. What was it like reading that script, getting that offer, deciding whether to do it, shooting it, all of it? I've always loved that movie, man.

I'm really glad you brought this up. First of all, let's get this out of the way because I hate this part. I'm a giant fan of all three of you guys. But here's why that's a really good question, and I'm glad you asked it, because I'll sometimes when I'm doing, I don't do a lot of them, but I'm doing an interview or being interviewed or something, I will actually volunteer Mr. Mom for a bunch of reasons. A, it was ahead of its time, and And how it came to be, and it was John Hughes' first, I think it was the first script he sold.Wow.And then he became John Hughes.Yeah, John Hughes wrote it. I was sitting and he was pitching me. Even didn't have to pitch it. You guys all will know this. When you're reading a script, a comedy script, and the good ones don't come around very often, and you laugh out loud by yourself, let's say, two, three, four times a script, you go, Whoa, that's huge. Am I right?

That's huge. That's the number, too. It's only about two or three or four times, but it's like that's amazing.

It is amazing. The average layman, let's say, wouldn't know that, but That's how it works. So I remember saying, I remember actually one thing he did, and it was an area that I generally don't laugh or find funny, was the baby had had diarrhea. And my head went back. I was in my head went back so far, it hit the wall in the back. My head hit the wall, I thought, because it was how it was presented, how it was set up, and where it came in the script, where he got me, where you were at that point. I went, boom, right there. That thing kills me right now. So I sat with him. I said, listen to him. He was not without an ego, and I liked him, but I said, You should direct this thing. You know how to make this movie. He said, No, I'm not going to direct. He was a Chicago ad guy. So what I knew about it was, A, it was funny. And I also liked the time. The reason I thought I couldn't do it was I looked like I was about 10 years old. And then we had to write that in because I thought, okay, let's say he married young.

And how do we really believe this? Because as you all three will know, it can be as outrageous as funny as Jim Carrey or the craziest guys are, they set up their own reality. It's like Carson used to say, you buy the premise, you buy the joke. So if you set, you go, yeah, that's crazy what he's doing. But it's actually not crazy in That's right, in that world. So I said, How do we believe this guy? Because that's the only this thing that's going to work. And there was a lot of rewriting on the set, I will say, between me and my then manager partner, Harry Columbia, and some other people. It was a great cast. And so what I dug about it was, A, it was funny. I like playing a father because I like being a father. I liked what it was about. And it was ahead of its time in that. At the time, the US economy was not very good. And it was hard. The unemployment was not great. And the idea of a woman going out to the workforce as crazy as it sounds, and whenever we shot that, 80 something.

83?

83 was not that unusual, but it was fucking unusual by comparison, right? And I like the... I have three sisters and a mom. Most people who work for me are women. I didn't plan it that way. It's just how it is. I'd like that whole set up in the premise, and I thought, Okay, now, how do we make... Now, let's just make this funny. It was already funny, but there were things because the director who was a talented guy, but he was not a comedy guy, we had to work on, let's say. And there was a lot of rewriting going on. As an example, the whole chainsaw thing came about on the morning because as we were getting ready to do it, there wasThere was no chainsaw scene. There was no... That didn't exist. The late great Martin Moll.

Yeah, I was going to say.

Count comes in and says he's taking Terry off. I have so much to say about this because not enough credit is given to Terry Gahr.

Well, I was going to get it. Oh, my God. I'm going to get into Terry Gahr in a second, so keep going.

Okay, I'll finish up. Sorry, going on too long. No, I love it. But so that scene was one thing, right? But what I knew was, I said, But how does this guy feel? How insecure is he right now? How emasculated is he right now? And when Martin walks in, just fucking cock-shore, just beautifully played, so brilliantly arrogant, looking at me, and I'm thinking, Okay, what would this guy do? He's panicked. He's not ready for this. So I said to the prop guy, he'd get me like, I don't know, like he's To pretend like he's working on the house. He'd like tools or something. And he shows me a chain cycle. Yes. I said, run down. Yeah, I mean, those goggles. I go, Yeah, he goes and gets the goggles. And then we just played it from there. Obviously insecure, obviously scared to death. Overcompensating. Overcompensating out of his ass. And then the 220 line was Martin's.

It was Martin's line.

What was the line again?

I said, Yeah, we're probably going to rewire. I didn't know what I was talking about. I said, Yeah, we're probably going to rewire the whole thing. And that was the end of that. Martin said, You know what you should say? Martin says something like, How are you going to wire it? I go, I don't know. He said, You should say 220, 221, whatever it takes. That's Martin Mose line. I keep telling people that.

That was not me. By the way, the movie you did before that night shift, I watched over and over and over. Oh, my God. I love that movie. The one line that stuck out in my head, of course, is when you're like, We could just feed the tuna, the mayonnaise, so you don't have to get it open. As a kid, I was like, That's such a genius idea. Oh, my God. Just feed the tuna fish.

That's such a genius.

That's Sean.

Really, now that I was just listening to Michael talk, it strikes me that I'll bet you, Michael Keaton is an enormous influence on your style. I mean, you actually remind me of one another.

That's a compliment to me. Oh, yeah. That's a compliment. You're complimenting me. Yeah, for sure. You know what I mean?

Because-unintentionally.

Sorry. I know. Because, yeah, and I meant it when I said it, it's huge influence. I wanted to get into because then there were so many other films, too, that I thought deserved a lot of attention. One of them being Clean and Sober, which I think is a phenomenal film, not just because I could relate to what he went through, but I just think it's a great... With the great M. M. Walsh. There's just some amazing moments in that film. But I do want to talk about Thierry Gahr for one second because I also loved Thierry Gahr. What was that like? What an unbelievable talent.

Am I right? The spirit. Come on, man. You look at all the really great, funny women. There are so many now, and there were, relatively speaking, so few then.

But they're really great. They didn't write the great parts of them back then, right?

No. Look at Thierry, man. She had everything. She still has everything. She's so sweet. I just love her.

I think Katherine Han is a modern day.

Totally. You look at she's witty and funny and feminine and masculine and all that stuff and just had it and has it and helped me. You guys know you can't do it on your own. You need somebody to set you up.

For sure.

We'll be right back.

Is it the same as the great deal that you have? At the end of the day, it's a great deal. Oh, it's the same. When we go to the beach, there's a lot of special, there's a cobra over there. The whole Co-op is this. I have a lot of money on this.

It's a lot of money, but you don't need it. It's too much.

This is the big deal with digital stamps, poked-stamping, and for the cost of a day. Carolina, now I'd like to go first. On post, don't silo target.

And now back to the show.

But Michael, your ability to find material or material find you and cast and directors that find you and you find... Yeah, you're like the- Your career is just like... I don't want to embarrass you, but like Willy said, but your ability to To jump from comedy to drama so seamlessly for so long, your run, your relevancy is just... It's been going for so long and continuing on this great escalating pitch that I hope you're as proud of as you deserve to be because you're just an incredible actor that knows how to make people laugh when you're playing a part and make people cry. You're not a comic. Can you talk a a little bit about how... I won't ask you to explain how you see yourself, but what attracts you to certain stuff? What's your goal?

Yeah, well, I will speak about it, but I want to stop because that's just too good. I'll leave it at that. Well, thank you, first of all.

Just can't label you, and that takes a lot of fun.

Yeah, okay. Well, let's start with that. So first of all, let's thank good fortune and all that. I don't believe in luck. I've never believed in luck, but I believe in good fortune.

I do. I say that, dude, I literally say the same. Really? Because it's true. It's true. I say I'm fortunate. I'm not lucky.

I'm fortunate. No, man. You know why? You earned what you did. All three, a lot of us, we all earned it. We were going to get asses off to direct.

There's a lot of talented people out there that luck plays a huge part of it because if everybody who was talented got the jobs, there wouldn't be any left. I mean, luck plays a big part of it. So we're all appreciative of that.

But I'm great I'm grateful. So there was the only plan. And by the way, I'm breathing rarefied air right now. I realized that there's I don't know how many other guys there are. I saw Jeff the other day at Bridges, who lives over the mountain range here.

Another one, exactly like that. Yeah.

I was saying there's not many of us doing this, and I want to keep doing it, but I want to keep doing it. I always wanted to do it how I wanted to do it. I know that sounds arrogant and selfish, but I just knew I'd be happiest that way. And so every time I had a television show that got canceled, which was two of them, three of them, I guess, I could not tell you how happy I was because I felt freer to move on to the next thing. So if I had I had a strategy, and I don't know that it was a strategy, it was only this. Right after Night Shift, there were some things offered to me. When I think back, I go, Wow, that took a fairly sizable set of ball. I said, No, I knew I wanted to do the Mr. Mom. Then there were a couple of others that I thought, I don't know, like all three of you, I'm sure, I would think, you say, But I really have a pretty big imagination, and I'm curious about a lot of things, and I'd like to play other things.

I'd like to explore other things. I'd like to see. If it doesn't work, then I know at least I have this for a few years. I can maybe grind out five, six, eight years of me being that guy. And I thought, but I think what will happen is people are going to get very bored very quickly with this guy they saw in night shift, etc. And so I said, well, then let me lay down something early and see if that works because that will potentially open up a wider range for me. And I don't know if this is going to do it, but that was the only conscious thing. The other is you just trust your gut. And so I made certain decisions early on. I was told, Don't do Clean and Sober, don't do Pacific Heights, don't do a lot of things. And I said, Yeah, but I want to do those things, and I want to lay it down. So I passed up certain movies that turned out to be great movies, and I don't want to talk about them, but they turned out to be great things. And I probably, in retrospect, one or two of those probably should have.

But I was fearful that... Look, I always feel like, and this is my own I need to talk to somebody about this because I always feel, Man, if I'm in two movies a year, people are going to go, enough already. We are so frigging sick of you. We just... They're like, enough. I had that, and that's not a healthy thing. But I just wanted to lay down the potential possibility that, well, wait a minute now, I don't know what to do with him. And the risk is, as you guys know, well, that could be dangerous. I just rolled the dice because I always bet on me.

Don't ask me why, but I do. But you also had this great combination between leading man and character actor. That's what for me, just as a consumer of you, a fan, you never really took the junk food, the celebrity stuff. You always were just playing an actor. You were either a character actor or a leading man, and this great ratio between both and comedy and drama. Then for my money, this incredible validation in Birdman at a moment where a filmmaker and an actor come together in this incredible little recipe between the two that you wouldn't normally put together. Then there's been a few combinations like that that was just so exciting It was exciting to see that combination. Then, of course, the film itself and the concept of the film as well, just everything coming together and just a rocket ship. It was so exciting for me to see. Just the story in the community and then also just the film itself.

But also, Michael, as Jason said, you defied genre in that you couldn't be put in a thing. You got to be a movie star on your own terms. You got to In a time where there really aren't really movie stars in that way anymore. I mean, there are, but it's different. But you were in the height of the movie star era, and yet you were able to think about it in that you were talking about doing stuff you wanted to do. In 1988, you did Beetlejuice and Clean and Sober. Now, you want to talk about two movies on different ends of the spectrum, exactly. Then the next year, you did the first film, and we're going to get into Batman in a second because it's the one thing that I feel a real kinship with you about.

But you were part of a lot of firsts. Like Will's saying, Mr. Mom, nobody was doing a comedy like that. You were the first one to do a comedy like that. Then Beetlejuice, and then Batman. You were the first to do a lot of things. Is that something you look for in scripts?

Well, I was going to say, so you do that in that one year, you do Beetlejuice and Clean and Sober. What was that year like for you?

You made your agent look fantastic that year.

Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile, That's right. At the time, that's not what happened. As you guys know, it didn't happen that way. Tim sought me out because he sought me. He said, I'd like to talk to that guy. I will also credit Elvis Mitchell, whom I'm actually going to speak with later. Elvis ended up working for me and my partner Harry for a couple of years because we read this guy. We thought he was... We just dug what he was about and liked him, and he worked for us for a minute. I'll credit Elvis. I don't think there was. I don't know what the award was. It was either New York... I don't know what it was. New York Film Critics or Film Critics Award. There was something. They didn't have an event, and Elvis said, Excuse me, what Will just said, basically. Then they said, Okay, sure. We'll give it to him. Then I have somewhere a piece of paper or something. But that didn't come via... That came from Tim asking about me, about wanting to meet me about Beader Juice through David Geffen. The Clean & Silver thing came, and that was another thing that people said, You don't want to do that.

My agent literally at the time said, I don't think you should do that. I said, Yeah, I'm pretty sure I should just because I want to. This is a really well-written script. You guys know this. I mean, it's hard to read, to find something that's... The writing will drive everything ultimately right now, whether it comes together or that's another story. But so I'll run through this. I'm sorry. And so that in one year, I didn't plan any of that. That just happened. I just said, Man, this guy, Tim Burton, he is something. I just I don't know what he is. I just know for sure he's something. And when he tried to explain to me, I said, they said, What do you think? I said, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't understand it. But I like that guy. And he said, he He wants to talk to you. Will you just give him another one? I go, Yeah, all right. I'll go meet him again. And I go talk to him and I said, Yeah, well, I'm still the same. I still don't understand. I say this about Tim, who I love.

I would say in his life, he is a declarative sentence with a subject, a verb, and then a period at the end. I'd say he's completed Maybe eight. Maybe eight declarative simple sentences. He just doesn't think like that. That's really funny. He's not that guy. And so I meet him and I go, Okay, I'm getting closer. Then he said two things to me, and I went, All right, I think this guy's worth it. So I said, Give me a minute. And I went home and I started thinking about it. And he said a couple of things, and I asked for a wardrobe from every period of time to go to my house. I was running this house. It was empty. I didn't know furniture. I just started handpicking stuff. And then there was something that I found spooky and creepy about bad teeth and a semi broken nose and a I walk and I said, What about? And then I just started going to work and I said, You know what? There's something about this guy. I really dig him. Fuck it. I don't know. I don't know. Does this work? And so that happened.

And then Clean It Sober was just another script.

It wasn't like I said. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Michael. Wait, Okay. The character of Beelge. First of all, half the movie, you're in like old-timey prison garb. You've got this fucking... You've got mascara on that covers half your face. Your hair is sticking up and you've got this voice and you go, Yeah. You're like, Say where you are. It's so good. You fucking- That's such a great big swing. I'm like, You want to talk about taking a big fucking swing? How do you show up day one? Are they like, Okay, guys, let's rehearse. We're going to block this scene. And you come, I go, Say it to your daughter. What the fuck is going? What's this guy doing? I mean, it's a lot. Fucking you nailed it in a way that you couldn't even Did you give that for Tim before the first rehearsal?

Will, that's very insightful, Will, because you're right. No, I didn't. And that was the beauty of and is the beauty of working with him. You're really just making stuff. Let's go make stuff. And so So we talked, and no one was paying attention. The budget was small, and no one was paying attention. And we were down in Raleigh Studios, and I said, Okay, I don't know. Here's what's weird about this. Think of this. We never tested it. We never tested it. I said, Here's what I'm going to do. It's like he stuck his finger in a thing. He starts here, and he goes up from there. It's never like there's no arc.

It goes from 10 to 15.

Right. I said, and I don't know why, I don't have an actor's explanation for any of that shit. The great thing about this thing is you never could say my character wouldn't do that.

There are no rules.

There are no rules. The freedom was unbelievable. So Will, that's insightful because I go, Tim had the suit, Tim had the eyes, Tim had the pale makeup. And he said something to me about he's from all different... He appears out of time. In the '20s, in the '18s, he's not connected at any time or anything. He might go underground for years until he's released. So I said, underground. I said, How about mold? Let's do some mold up the face. And then I said, Okay. The hair is like, it has to just stick all the way out. But The Stripe suit was Tim's vision. He started showing me pictures of all his stuff. And so on that day, when I showed up, I went, I don't know. Here we go. As soon as I walked in the first scene, you can see him His eyes get picking, he lights up and he goes, Yes. It's the ultimate yes and because he'd go, Oh, I didn't know we were going to do that. Hold on a minute. If you're going to do that, let me show you something. See when you go up there, this is what that's going to...

He had to explain to me what was going to happen. And I went, Oh, I think I get it.

Because of the visual effects?

Yeah, because of the visual effect.

Would it happen later? Yes. Yes.

Got you.

Fuck, man. Dude, you're out on... I love this so much. Out on a ledge.I love the idea that you're out on a fucking ledge and you don't know where you're fucking going. That to me is my- And then give a shit. That's my fucking dream come true, man.

It's so fun to talk to you guys about this because I'm with three people who know what I'm talking about.

But then you land it into the most- But then you go to clean and sober. Exactly, which is the most like no tricks, no makeup, no wardrobe. It's just people talking and being raw and I'm being honest.

It's Mike Tyson walking in with trunks and two box of gloves.

How many people over the years have come up to you and told you that Clean and Sober had a profound effect on their life?

Lots. And boy, that means something to me. I say this, and I don't care what people think. I'm so blessed that I get to do some things that every once in a while, that'll happen. How many people have that job? A lot of people would like that job. I have that job. That's why I did Worth. That's why I did My Life. Oh, My Life. And you go, you got to do these things if you got the opportunity. You've been given this thing. Yeah, I earned it, but I've been also given it. If you can throw everybody a solid, fucking do it. Then go make some money.

You Speaking of which, speaking of making money, you go in 1989, you once again team up with Tim Burton, and you do Batman.

Yeah.

That is the fucking game changer. That's the game changer of game. In a lot of ways, you doing that allowed me to make some money. Oh, yeah. All right. I guess I fucking owe you, dude. A little bit.

A little bit.

You did the first I am Batman.

By the way, I'll give you my business manager's address code.

It's just Venmo. It's just a Venmo.

Yeah, it's just Venmo. It's a straight Venmo. Michael, I just got out of high school when that came out, when the Batman came out. I was like, Wait, the guy from Nightshift that I've seen a million times in Mr. Mop, he's Batman? Take the look on his face again. No, but wait. Hang on, wait for it. Then I even saw the trailer. I was like, Oh, my God. He nailed it in the trailer.

I remember seeing the poster for it. Do you remember seeing the poster, just the symbol of the Batman. And I was like, What the fuck is this?

I'm about some credit to Tim for going, Yeah, that guy. And people went, what do you have in your mind? And he went, No, That guy. I don't think enough credit has been given to him. Me, I went. We had the meeting. He and I sat. He said, Take this home and read it. Tell me what you think. I remember where I was sitting, where the window was, and he and I were talking. I said, Well, so here's what I think, but nobody's going to do that. And he went, That's exactly right. And so he had to go to them and say, No, that guy, and to his credit, boy, he changed everything. He changed everything.

I could talk. I mean, Marvel exists. All of it exists because of that movie, dude.

A lot of people made a lot of money off me and Tim and Jack.

Sean has nutded over a thousand times to Marvel movies because of that movie. A thousand nuts.

There's that.

Yeah, you can't put a price on that.

No, you can't put a price on it.

But it did. It launched the... And ever since then, we've We've all been fucking under the tyranny of IP. But you did start that. I stole that from somebody.

You're right.

But it's true. But you guys started it, you and Tim Burton, but you as the face. Tim is incredible, obviously, like you said.

Well, and you invented the whole, like Will just said, the whole thing, the tone and the feel and the look and everything.

There was humor to it, but it It was all so serious, and there was action, and it was dark.

But you know, Will, there was very little humor in it.

Maybe we can't-No, but you had moments, though, as Bruce Wayne-No, I mean, in the original script.

In the original script. Oh, really? Yes. And so maybe it's just an instinct, but there were scenes... Because even that, man, that pressure was on Tim so big. Pressure was on all of us. And you felt it every day. You're going, Studio, people flying in because this was a big swing for every… But there wasn't, and I don't know if it's the instinct or not, a gut feeling saying, Well, wait a minute. A lot of this darkness. I mean, maybe not so much. So as an example in that scene where the big long table where Vicky Vale comes over and I'm having a date and I'm so nervous and I go, Do I tell her? Do I not tell her? I can't let her know, but I really like this woman. She's sitting there and she asked me about the room and I said, Tim, it would be funny. There were a couple of these moments. I said, if he goes, yeah, yeah. Then he realizes, I don't think I've ever been in this room before. Which says everything about the character.

You go, who's this lonely guy?

Rambling around the house.

It's great high low of him.

I love that stuff, that awareness of it and not taking himself too seriously, really, in that moment, too, because there's a way that come across as a dick. And it wasn't. It all fell within the context of a guy who is really rich, but his parents were murdered, but all that stuff, right?

Yeah. Kind of a weird dude. A very weird dude.

But what was it like when that movie came out? And it was, as you said, it was a big swing for everybody, big swing for you and your career, big swing for Tim Burton, big swing for the studio. They put a lot of money into it. The books have been written about this movie and how it got made, et cetera. When that movie comes out and it's a fucking smash hit, how many high fives? Did you have to bandage your hand from the high fives?

Or was it the opposite? Was it, Oh, this is going to be a level of exposure and responsibility now that could change things and it might not be comfortable?

More of that. Jason immediately looks at the negative. Or was it that? Now I'm obligated to go and say, Thank people for paying me the money. I have junkets I have to go to. Now, all of a sudden, now I've got to talk to my business manager. It's good news. Is it good news? It's good news for you.

Now, did you guys know the chemistry would work like Jason brings? Everyone's all I need to do what he just did. Did you guys go, oh, fuck. That's why we hired the guy. That's bringing it dark. That's why we... Yes, it's bringing me.

We've had the good fortune, guys. I'm going to say, of being friends for 20 years. We knew Don't touch it. We have a good little dance with the two.

It's like the guys on TBS, Charles Barkley, those guys. Someone just needs to say to them, Don't touch it. Don't touch it. Just don't mess with it.

I love those guys.

We'll be right back.

Now, back to the show.

But you must have. Was it not what Jason was saying? Did you build an obligation?

No, I was going there. I'd like that, actually.

Yeah, you were thinking about the deal you already struck for the sequel.

No, you woke up and you're like, Did you buy a Ferrari? What the fuck did you do that next morning?

Got a tattoo, a Batman tattoo.

I never even want a Ferrari, but I better fucking get one now. I don't even want one.

That's true. I actually did investigate getting a Ferrari one time. I actually did. I remember thinking, I'm too lazy for the amount of work and effort I'm going to have to put into I'm just too lazy.

You mean the clutch and the stick, right?

Yeah. Well, not that much. But where do I have to be careful? Where can I really drive it? Is this really worth it? I'm blessed that I don't need a lot of stuff because I'm just lucky that I don't need a lot of stuff. I'm not so cool. I just don't have an interest.

I love that you're thinking through the practicality of a Ferrari.

Yeah, I know. I'm going, well- There's nothing practical about it.

You can't valet it. What do you do?

Is it good on ice?

All of a sudden, I'm the least interesting The most unfun guy. Oh, I don't know if this is practical.

I'm not going to put my clubs.

There's no back seat.

Yeah, exactly. I know you're really good. You must have been elated, and it must have felt like a good vindicated. Now, look, you'd had a lot of success before, but this was a different This was a different thing, I bet.

I let myself enjoy it.

It was global. You let yourself enjoy it.

Yeah. And also what Jason called the downer, let's just refer him as a downer. No. A little bit of that, say, Whoa, this is a I don't love this stuff.

Sometimes knowing who you are now and all your success with all of the… Unbelievable. Your resume is just one of the most impressive ever. It really is. It's just incredible. You don't think about, oh, that guy probably had... He had an audition. I just see you as a movie star. But when you're younger, you had an audition and start out just like all the rest of us. It's hard to imagine you walking into a room. What made you... Where did you grow up?

Right outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

What got you to LA? What made you want to do it?

Well, boy, we could go... Let me make it.

We have 10 minutes left.

Okay.

For this one answer.

Okay, right. Yeah, I just shared a couple of times. What's your next question? No.

I'm kidding. We have an hour, whatever you want.

I was this kid who was It started to get it very interested in... I thought, could a person do this? Yeah, because I come from so not that background, except my funny family, my funny brothers and sisters, and a big family, and youngest, so there's that. When I went to school, I was always curious because my friends and I were... The guys I hung with tightly, and some young women at the time, were funny, and I'd like to be around them, and I knew what my at least was. I was not a theater kid. However, I did take a couple of theater classes, so I was clearly curious about this, and I was not very good, I don't think. I auditioned for a play. I got a little role in a play in school. It didn't really do anything for me. Then I dropped out of school to make some money to go back to school. In the interim, I was doing this play in Pittsburgh, Sticks and Bones, and at the same time working at the CBS station where I'd do everything. At the same time, while I was in school, I was really into the lampoon, and I was really into everything funny.

I started writing, and I thought, I don't know if I can even do this other thing. If I ever try it, maybe I could write this. You're just a kid trying to figure things out, right? Yeah. I said, Well, I'm liking this, and I just trusted myself. I said, You know what? This is either going to happen or not happen. I started to go to New York, where I was about to move, and at the last minute, I went to thinking I'd only stay there for the summer. I was writing, and I started performing stand-up and doing a play. The stand-up thing worked in New York like that off the bat. When I say worked, it didn't work. It worked in that I got asked back the first time I showed up, and that's a big deal. You did that, and I went, I really love this because it was theater. To get to the auditioning part, so now I'm going to go to California, and I'm going to do this real fast. I'm sleeping on floors like everybody else, and crashing with buddies, and working in restaurants, and doing all the things, parking cars, doing everything everybody does.

The thing that turned it around in terms of the audition process was, I was an okay auditioner, and I tell when young People ask me, I tell them this all the time, Forget the want, I want, I need, throw that out, you're fucked. You have the job. The job is for the next 15 minutes, you're at work. The audition is the job. That's the gig. You got to go to work today for 15 minutes. It's excruciating. It's a horrible setup. There's nothing good about it. But once I said, I'm not going to look at this like, I got to get this. I turned the corner where I said, You know what, man? I feel pretty good today about what I did. I'm just going to look at it like at 3:30 out at MTM studios or wherever I was going to be.

Radford.

Yeah, I'm going to work. I Yeah, get ready to work. What a great approach. My job only lasted 20 minutes. And then I went to my regular job and I said, I don't know, fuck it. That's great. That was it. I love that. Totally freed me up.

Of course it did. I like the idea of also telling that to young actors because people They ask me for advice all the time, and I always say, Fuck off. Now I have something that I can say I came up with.

Get that camera out of my face.

Who the fuck? Who gave you? My parents know your parents. Shut the fuck. No, but that is such great advice. Who gave you that? I think the other thing is it falls in the same line of once you realize, once you get older and you've done a bit more in doing what we do, and you get to the other side and you have a chance to direct J. B. And produce stuff and whatever, you realize that they are looking to solve a problem, that they want somebody to come in. What you don't know as a young actor is-They're on your side. They're on your side. They want you to get this job.

Because they got another character to cast.

Yeah, because once I figured that out, and I remember casting something with Mitch and people coming in and going, Oh, fuck. I hope this dude's good, man. I used to think that they were like, Oh, show me. No. We were like, Fuck it.

This guy is great. I want to check the box. I want to check that box.

You guys are actors, so you're sympathetic. You know what that feels like, right? Yeah. You don't want something. There's no merit in watching Did somebody go down?

No, there's no merit to it. It's the worst. It's the fucking worst feeling. I feel terrible far.

Wait, I want to talk about because I wanted to-But you did...

I'm sorry. I was just going to say he was just talking about the auditioning, Sean, if you don't mind just one second. Oh, yeah. Made me think of another subject. No, I'm just kidding. No, while we're on this subject, is that... And you were talking about MTM. You did. I wasn't kidding in my intro. You were on that two different iterations of the Mary Tyler. One called Mary and the other called Mary. Really? Mary Tyler More Hour. Is that what it's called? Yeah. With Dave Letterman.

With Letterman. Wait, what? Letterman bailed after the first one.

Yeah, I stuck around. That's so funny. They were in the fucking cast together.

I didn't know that.

In 1978, Michael, is that right?

Wait, did you work with Jimmy Burrows?

Jimmy Burrows. Wait, Jimmy Burrows directed-He directed Mary Tyler More. Wait, Jason, you and I... You know one of my favorite jobs ever. I always really like Gary Goldberg.

Yeah.

I always really liked him. Good guy. And his wife, I remember Diana.

Courtney actually was just singing his praises two days ago at the same time she was singing yours.

Well, he gave me this gig that was one of my favorite. I'll talk to you about that MTM thing. But one of my favorite things I ever did was this character I did on... Tony Randall had a show for a minute. He had a couple of shows, I guess. Many shows, probably. But he had a thing called the Tony Randall Show, and Gary Goldberg hired me because he had seen me do something. I think he gave me the job. I may have auditioned. But at night school, it was called Ed's Night School, I think. Tony Randall taught law at a night school, and I played this dude. Kind of a little dense, which is always fun and hard to play, like when stupid is Will has no problem playing this.

No problem. It's my fucking… It's right out of bag.

That's your sweet spot. Anyway, so I played this thing, and as an aside, I learned as much about comedy from watching Tony Randall because he would direct because he knew more than anybody anyway. His precision was so… I was about, like I thought, no, man, free wheeling. His precision was so impressive that I remember going, whoa, pay attention to that. Where and the how. It was just really an education. So, yeah, when I was doing that, and I apparently have forgotten the question. Mary Taylor, more of a grand team girl. Mary Taylor. So then that led to all that other stuff. So Letterman bailed after the first. We all thought it was going to be a little something, and she was a wonderful lady, really liked her. And the guys who were part of that group, who was Jay Tarsis and Tom, those guys, they were part of it. So we went, Well, their pedigree is really good. And it wasn't quite what we thought it would be. And Dave bailed, and I stuck around for the second iteration, which was so fun, man. I could afford a Honda, a little Honda Civic. I remember driving to work down to MTM studios thinking, There's no way this could get better.

There's no way my life could get better than that. And I was making it. You remember? I mean, you go, look what you're making. It wasn't much. You go, Are you kidding me? I have a little apartment that's relatively clean. You got a car. Oh, man, it's so fucking great.

You just hit something. That sweet spot of that, you guys know, too. When you get that first gig where you go like, I'm fucking doing this.

I'm doing this.

I'm getting paid and I'm doing this.

I remember the first year, Will and Grace. I was 27 years old. I was I'll get fired next week, I'm sure.

Sure, right? But it doesn't matter at the time. Every week.

You were on Will and Grace. That's what it is.

Michael, I want to go back to the Beatlejuice 2.

Yeah.

It looks incredible.

When you got... Yeah, it looks amazing. When you said yes to doing that, were you like, Oh, man. In the first day in the makeup trailer, you're like, Why did I put this? Why did I say yes? I got to put the wig on. I got to put the fucking dirt on my face. I got to put the black circles. Or you're like, No, this is awesome.

No, it was the second. It was like, This is awesome because you have to understand this is a long time in the making, but not so as you'd know it.

Yeah, because everybody I knew for years were like, Why don't they do a sequel? Why don't they do a sequel? So finally it's here.

Because you can't recreate what we made. You can't write it. Imagine trying to write it when a lot of the writing just happened. It wasn't on the page so much, even though some of it was and some of it was terrific and the world was terrific. You go, Do that again. You go, It doesn't work like that. Even in the most well-written, you could take Larry Gelbard or Neil Simon or any of the brilliant writers and try to duplicate Tootsie. It would have never You couldn't do it again. Imagine trying to do that. So obviously, we were never going to do it. Then for years, I thought, Don't touch that. Leave that alone, man. That's a little piece. You just leave that alone. Don't touch it. But I liked it so much. And Tim and I worked so well together, and I liked him so much that every once I would go, What do you think? And the answer was that. And then it started getting more interesting to me. And I suggested I'd like to do that again. Then that time passed, and then I thought it was done. So when it came around again, we would see scripts now and then, and they just didn't work.

And then these guys got it and we went, Whoa, this could be good. So Tim started talking to me about it. He had to finish something. And so to answer your question, then you say, okay, I'm in. I had done a bunch of... I'd direct this movie, and I'd act in another movie in another one, and I was a little tired, and I thought I would like another two months just to chill and ramp it up, and I didn't get it, and I thought, Fuck it, let's go do it. So we went to go make it, and as I'm sitting in that makeup trailer that you mentioned, I remember going, This is really fun, and I'm really excited, and I'm nervous because I go, Can you pull this off again? And can you do it? Because don't do it if you don't look stupid, not just for me, don't fuck this thing up. And so what hit me was I was sitting in the makeup trailer going, Yeah, here we go. That's right. And trying to explain to the woman, none of the It's got to not quite talking her through that. And then we were getting there and getting ready to do it.

And about three days in, I went, There's something wrong, and I don't know what's wrong. There's something off. It wasn't horrible.

Justin Thoreau.

It's Justin Thoreau. He comes in without these sleeves on.

He's so funny in this. Dude, he's so funny in this.

I don't buy it.

We'll wait and see.

I'll be the judge.

All right. Listen to this. I'm sitting there and I go, I don't know what this is. I'm sitting in the makeup trailer and I'm going, Yeah, this is fun. I'm having fun. But what is bugging me? I looked in the mirror and I went, I got it. I know what it is. I don't know about you guys. I don't look at makeup anymore. I should go check more often in the monitor. I know I've made huge errors by not. I don't look at things anymore. Just go do it and I go home. I looked in the mirror and I went, I got it. I know what it is. This thing we created came out of nowhere. It just came out of this nowhere. When I looked in the mirror, I saw toys. I went, This is fucked up. You know what I mean? I saw a little Beter Joyce toys. You know what I mean? It looked like keychains and it looked like mugs.

The commercial part of it that it had become.

All the merch. Yeah, and it wasn't that that's a bad thing. It was that perception is, yeah, we've seen them because we've seen it on T-shirts.

We've seen that go-Did you change the look at all?

No, that's interesting. I didn't. I went a little bit. There was something with the hair that wasn't working. I went, No, that never really looked exactly like that. Then you're trying to like, and then you go get that, whatever it takes to get that out of your brain, just go back to what made you even think of this frigging thing.

It's a derivative. It's based on an impression. I remember feeling that way with writers who would go, all of a sudden you'd read a script and they'd go and they'd have your character do something in a way. Oh, they want me to do it based Because they saw me do this in other times. But they don't realize that in other times my character did that because it was organic to what was happening. Now they just want to see the trick. They don't want to see what led up to the trick. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? You'll never do it as well.

Yeah, you'll never do it as well. How did you fix that, Michael? How did you make a friend of the-Psychologically, you had to go wipe that out of your brain, take it out of your brain. Find a new version of them.

Yeah. When you go on set, go, What was the thing originally? What was this thing originally? Just go be that again.

Make it yours again.

Yeah, make it yours again. How did we come up with this crazy thing? And what was hard about that was there were certain things in this... Look, man, I'm on record of saying how good this thing is. I'm not going to go on and on. It's so good. But when I go on the set, there were things in the script, shows you how smart I am, that I remember reading the script, go, Oh, this could work. I go, I don't know about that. I don't know. Tim likes that idea. I don't think that idea is good. Three of them. I was wrong on all three. I was wrong about it. I was dead wrong. When I saw it, I went.

He's just a remarkable filmmaker. I mean, the thing he's never done anything easy. Not once. No. Edward Scissorhands.

Yeah, incredible.

His degree of difficulty takes on and just drills it every single time.

Except for Carroll nail clipper feet.

Which was underrated.

So you guys You do this and you've gone on the record saying it's going to be great. I mean, that is a lot of pressure, right? You have this thing, this iconic thing that you guys create, and you're like, I'm sure when you're reading it or you're doing it, you're thinking like, Fuck, man, if we don't drill this, we got a target on our fucking back. People are going to come for us.

Yeah, honestly, I didn't-But it's team sports, right?

You don't really take. It's team sports. Do you take it on individually? No, right? I mean, don't you Do you get that sense when you're working on something that we're all rowing in the same direction and that it's not really on you?

Because if you're healthy, yeah.

Yeah. Do you find yourself in that position as often as you want to, mentally? Good question.

Yeah, mostly, I think. I think there's a part of me, and honestly, I'm not being humble here. There's a part of me that's just plain stupid, I think. There's a part of me that just goes, I don't know. I don't think of some of these things, other people think, and I don't know what that comes from, but I just don't. Sometimes I do, and I certainly was nervous about going back into it, only to say, Can I do this? Not just do it and get through it, but go, Can you get there? Because it's deserving of you being good. You need to be good. And in terms of me talking about it, I'll tell you, when I say, I don't care what anybody else thinks of it, I'm willing to say what I think about it because this is just how I feel about it. There's movies I've seen, and you guys have seen, that people have hated, and I went, not me. I love this movie or other movies where you go, I don't get what people are raving about. Just me? I don't care. Every person I've ever run into for the rest of my life could say, boy, that second Beatert just really sucked.

I'd go, not to me. I mean, it has so many elements. It's so beautiful, first of all, physically, and you care. I'm telling you, every fucking person is funny in this. Justin is funny. Katherine is She's a lot funnier than she was in the first one.

Just for the audience, it is a biopic, yeah?

Yes. Thank you. Yeah.

I just wanted to point that.

It's based on a true story. It's based on a true story. It's a true story of Beetlejuice, the character who goes across centuries.

You know what it is? It's licensed just to go out and be silly. It's just licensed. I love it. I love it.

Man, well, look, like we say, we've taken up too much of your time. I could talk to you forever.

Way too much. Like an hour.

Way too much. I know. I know. Yeah, really. What a thrill to have you, man, on the show. I just love that. Like Jason said, that you're still doing it, that you're still rising. You're still doing incredible stuff. You keep surprising us and mixing.

Might I add that you look fucking fantastic.

Yeah, you do. You look great.

Look at you. I haven't seen you in 30 years.

You sound great. You don't sound crazy. I hope I'm not crazy ever. You know what I mean? None of us get crazy.

You're kind, you're appreciative.

You've done it all. I mean that in the best way because you've-Fucking Michael Keaton, for Christ's sake. But you've done it all and you've got your fucking feet on the ground.

Let me ask you a question. If I would do the show every day, would I get this?

No, not really. No, you would not. It's usually just once.

That's a fucking good question, by the way. That's a good question. That's really funny. No, we'd turn on you pretty quick.

I like the read, Jason. Was it mean? I'm being honest, not probably.

We're just the one.

We'd turn on each other. It doesn't take much for us to turn on each other. It happens pretty quick.

Immediately, we'd put you right in the stew. You'd get it as hard as we do. But what a thrill, man.

It was so great to talk to you in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Man, I'm excited. Yeah. All right.

Thanks, Michael. Come on back out of Montana and come hang out with All right, thank you.

Honestly, it was really fun.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.

Good to see you, Michael. All right, brother.Thank.

You, buddy. Bye. You've been stealing Michael Keaton shit for years.

I know. I didn't want to embarrass him as well because... I got to know him just to say hello over the last five, six years or something. We'd see each other and stuff. You know where I always talk to him, JB? Coden's Christmas party.

Oh, you know him, brother.

It's true.

You're going to get He invited this year again.

Don't you? You're probably get it. Don't you? You'll probably get it. Don't you?

You'll probably mention his name to me. I always talk to him about stuff, and I always tell him how much... He's a big hockey fan. He's a big Penguins fan. We talk hockey. Then last year, he was really kind to me. He said something really nice about me on Colbert, which was a fucking thrill of a lifetime. But anyway, so we... I just love the way he does it. It's the only impression I've ever done, and I didn't want to He doesn't know this is of him, but it's an impression of him from gung ho. We didn't talk about that. I go, the Japanese, they bought the car plant?

That's really good. People can't see it.

If you could see it. If you could see it, it's good.

You would say.

It's really good.

Close. Close. Yeah, I've just been such a fan of his. Jay, you pointed out, he does seamlessly between comedy and drama and absurdism and just everything.

Yeah, and I like what you said.

My life, you've ever watched My Life?

No.

I think I probably have.

It's so great and sad and oh, my God. So good.

What do you say, Jay?

Well, just that he's reached such an enormous height of success and relevance, yet he can still go to the market, and he can still get a movie financed. That's really hard to-I don't know if he could. Yeah, he could. He could go to the market for sure because he's not a celebrity. He's just a really, really well-respected, very famous actor that can do anything and people go to see him.

Yeah, and I I like what you said, Jason, about you can't really nail him down. Or maybe you said it well. That you can't-You can't label him. Yeah, you can't label him. I love that. That's so true.

By the way, that movie, My Life, is about a guy who's going to die and his son's going to be born. It's with Nicole Kidman, I think. He leaves videos for his son because he's not going to meet him. Oh, jeez. And how to live is like, what to do and how to do stuff.

If you're looking to get rid of any tears, I guess you just dial that up.

I wish I could hug you guys right now.

Hey, on that ranch that he was living on, do you think there were a lot of animals around there? What animals do you have?

I hope your fucking mic cuts out. What animals? I hope the electricity goes out of your house, right?

Wait, no. There's probably like, cows, and there's probably like bigger cows and like chicken.

You mean like some bison? Bison.

Bye.

Bye.

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