Do you want anything? One second. I'm just want to... Do you want something? Okay. Can I get one crispy chicken? Two crispy chicken for you because I don't like... You want two yourself? Okay. No judgment. That's fine. And ice cream. Do you guys even serve? You know what? Do you mind if we just do this after? Welcome to an all-new SmartList.

Smart. Lies. Smart. Lies. Smart.

We were just talking about Shawshank, and I was going to say to Will, Jay, before he came on, that my philosophy in life is... This is good. Hang on. No, this is good. This is good.

You like to get a pen out. Everybody, pull over and get out the pen. By the way, this is Shawshank Redemption, I think. Shawshank Redemption. For Tracy, the film.

The end of the movie. The whole movie, Morgan Freeman is talking about... He goes in front of the... What is it called? The Panel or whatever, the people who... Parole board. The board. Parole board. Yeah. He's the parole board, and he's the pro-board. He tells them what they think they want to hear. He's like, No, I've been reformed. I'm good. I've learned my lesson. And they always deny his pro. Then at the end of the movie, he finally just is like, You know what? Fuck it. This is who I am. You people are crazy. I didn't learn anything, blah, blah. Then that's when he gets released. That's it. That's my philosophy for life.

That's what full release comes what always blows my mind about standups, though? How you can just walk around the stage for two hours and always You always have something to talk about. How do you... Is it like a monolog you memorize? Or how can you just go up and speak funny for 2 hours straight?God, he's going to love show business, do you think?For two hours straight.Yeah, Sean. Where did you get a load of her?He's going to love show business. He's going to love it.Two-thirds of the planet is water. There's a couple of poles.No, you know what I mean? That always blows me. Obviously, you had material that you work on, but do you ever-There's your answer. Go up and you're like, Oh, my God, I don't know what subject to talk about next? Like the flow of it.Well, I don't go up. Yeah, I go up prepared. I can't do the other. I can't really do like crowd work, go up.It's very, very- He's not free styling, bro. No, I know. He's been working on it for months.I know, but it's- But, Nate, do you ever switch Nate, do you ever switch the order based on the audience?Oh, yeah. This new hour, I've switched it a ton. But it's worked because now I'm opening on a joke that I have closed on. It's great to be opening on a joke I've actually had to have the energy and the rhythm of a closer, and then you just move it up, and now it's the front.And you're doing those decisions on the fly?Yeah, you just fill it out. It's like a song. I'm in love with stand-up right now. I love it so much. The way I've looked at writing, it's a movie. So I'm the main character of this movie. And I'm not... I'm telling a story. There's a reason for be saying all this stuff, and everything leads into the other thing. So you want to make it where people don't realize you're into another joke. But in my head, I could be on joke five. But I'm trying to make it where... And then that's how you remember it, because the only way, if you're talking about riding a car and then you're like, My wife bought a car. Well, now that's the only thing I could go into. Right.We will be right back.Thanks to Viore for supporting the show. Tired of the same old workout clothes? I am. I'm also tired of working out, but I'm going to do it. Then you need to check out Viore. Viore is your destination for high-performance active wear that's designed to look and feel great. Their pieces aren't just for the gym. They're so comfortable and stylish. You want to wear them all day long. Viore's innovative fabrics and thoughtful design ensure maximum mobility and breathability no matter how intense your workout gets. But the best part? Their active wear doesn't scream, I just came from the gym. Whether you're hitting the gym, running errands, or lounging at home, Viore has everything you need to look and feel your best. For me, I like the transit jogger, and the color I like it in is ink, I-N-K. It's like a navy color. But I love it because I wear sweat pants almost every single day, and I need a new one. I got these Viori ones. Oh, my God. I wear them immediately when I get out of bed, and I just wear them around the house or wear them to the store or wear them wherever I need to go, and nobody knows the difference.They don't even question what my pants are. They just think they're really cool looking. Viori is an investment in your happiness, and they're hooking up smartlist listeners with 20% off your first purchase at viori. Com/smartlist. That's V-U-O-R-I. Com/smartlist. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but you'll also enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75 and free returns. Go to viori. Com/smartlist and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. This show is sponsored by Better Help. I talked about this before about comparing your life to others. It can be really dangerous and really unhealthy. It's almost inevitable if you're on social media, you're like, Oh, why don't I have that? Why don't I look like that? Why is my life not as great as this person seemingly? That's the thing. It's seemingly people just post the best versions of themselves or the greatest parts of themselves. You don't know everything about them entirely. It's bad to compare yourselves to it. But I understand it's easy to do so. But comparing yourself to others is a total joy killer. It's so easy to look at someone's social media, like I said, and think that they've got it all figured out.But the truth is everyone's got their own stuff going on behind the scenes that you can't see. Therapy can help you focus on what you want instead of what others have, so you can start living your best life. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist costs any time for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with Betterhelp. Visit betterhelp. Com/smartlist today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/smartlist. Smartlist gets support from ZipRecruiter. Summer is finally here. What? And all those seasonal businesses are looking to hire. Everything from mule packers to drama camp leaders. That means if you've got those special skills, you're in luck. There's a big demand for people like you, and they're not exactly easy to find. Whether you're hiring for one of those roles or any other role, how do you find top talent before the competition gets to them? Ziprecruiter. Right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter. Com/smartlist. Found a candidate that If this really stands out?Ziprecruiter makes it easy to reach out to them right away. Just use the pre-written, Invite to apply, message to personally connect with your top picks and get them interested in your opportunity. Gear up for summer with ZipRecruiter's high-speed hiring tools. See why 4 out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter, get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to this exclusive web address right now to try ZipRecruiter for free. Ziprecruiter. Com/smartless. Again, that's ZipRecruiter. Com/smartless. Ziprecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Now, back to the show.Who was your main inspiration as far as developing that style of telling stories as opposed to jokes? Was it a George Carlin? Because I seem to remember he was like that, too, right?Yeah. Well, a big... Cosby was one. But if you go watch his old stuff, it's very storytelling, all that stuff. I'm a big Seinfeld fan. Seinfeld was... Because I always looked at it like I tell stories, but in a joke form. I try to never be too far from the laugh because the farther you are from the laugh, the bigger the laugh has to be. And I don't want to put that much pressure on a laugh. So if I can just keep it going and let it build, it's like, it doesn't... You're just not putting the weight of the world on this. You're like... Because if you go silent too long, there's a point where you're like, Well, this joke better be unreal.Sean tried stand up, and we won't get to his opening joke, but he started so far from the laugh, and then he never got even to the same area code as the laugh. You know what I mean? He never had actual direct sight on the laugh. They never got a clean look at it.He went into a lecture. There's no way. You're like, No, he's supposed to go. Well, he'll never get in now.Even with a series of mirrors, he couldn't see the laugh.It was so obscured.That's how I drive around town. I only take right-hand turns. But Nate, biggest bombing story? Did you just like, Oh, my God, this is the worst?Yeah, there's a bunch. I mean, you blame it on. I had one one time I thought it was the shirt I wore, and so I had to move that shirt away. I had a buttoned-down shirt and I tucked it in. I've never done that since. For real? Yeah. I was like, it wasn't me. I was just like, This shirt. Couldn't have been the material.This fucking shirt is killing me. What is this guy's shirt?What is this guy's deal? I've done a cruise ship.Say no more.I won a contest, and your prize was to set your career back five years and do cruises. I go out and I'm doing it. You got to do a bunch of shows. You do 30 Clean, 30 Dirty. I never had Dirty. Then you would do another show. You needed honest, because sometimes these people would come back and watch multiple shows. You needed to have two hours of material or be able to mess with crowd or something. And I remember we'd go up and you would do one show at the beginning of it. You do five minutes each, and it's in the big theater, and you're just letting the crowd know, We're comedians. We got a show back here, blah, blah. So the other guy just was great and knew how to... He shined a flyshot on the crowd, just knew how to really play with the crowd. Always works. And he was like, Coming to my shows, every show is different. And he made a big announcement how they're all different. And then I went up and I said, I go, Come to one. It may be the other one, but the other one will be the same.I was like, Do not come to all my shows. Most will be the same. I don't have enough material to have them all be different. So you can go to his shows. They will be different. Mine will be... And then I went and did a show, and I started it, and they didn't laugh. And I was like, Oh, these people have been to every show. And I'm not a crowd work guy. And I'm like, So what do you do, man? And some guy's like, he's an oil rigger in the ocean. It's actually a pretty crazy job. And I was like, That's cool. And I just moved on. It's like an insane. People are saying crazy stuff. Like, I'm a bank robber. I'm like, That's neat, man. What about you, ma'am? Back there, I had nothing.No ripping.And then I had to ride in an elevator with these people. I'm in an elevator in the ocean. You think it? Sounds like I made it. And I'm just sitting there and I had a hat on, and I just hear some guy just trashing My shoulder's touching him, and I just have to sit there and get off. Oh, my God.But they do separate them between Clean and Dirty on a cruisehip that's exclusive to a cruise ship?Yeah. You would just have a show that's like, The kids can come to this show. Your family can come to the show, and then you'd have a night at 11:00 PM. It's like an adult-only show. You still can't be that dirty, but the idea of it is a little more…Yeah, you could have just dropped in a couple F-bombs just randomly.I got a curse as I talk about parking. I'm like, You guys have a parallel parking? They're like, This guy's filthy. I didn't even have any. I had no dirty jokes. I don't talk about sex or political. There's nothing really that's like this- What about political sex?Will you ever touch political sex? Is that something that you'd be willing to do? That I will.If the right joke comes up.Sure. It is might not doing well and you can't leave for another 45 minutes?Are you scared of the eyes?I mean, have you ever had a panic attack on a stage and know that you can't leave for another hour?I the funniest things was it was a story about meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend.Yeah, on the boat? Yeah. I got to remember it, but we went to... It had happened. We're on the Lake, Old Hickory Lake. Is that true? Yeah. We're in the water, and then my wife's ex-boyfriend was on another boat. I didn't see him, and she pointed it out. There's no reason to point it out, but she pointed it out. So then all I can think of now, I'm thinking about him. And then I look at her and she's looking at him, and I feel like she's looking at him to see what her life would be like if she didn't marry me. I was looking at him to see what my life would be like if I didn't marry her. So we're both putting a lot of pressure on this guy. And then my buddy told me, he's like, You should go fight him. I was like, What? He's on a boat. I got to swim over to that fight. Have you ever tried to climb in a boat from water? It's not graceful. It's not easy. You don't come in with power. I would need his help to start the fight.Right.I think that was it.It's so funny. But we can all relate to meeting exes, our current exes. I don't know if you guys did. It's never good.Yeah, I don't. I don't really have exes.All right. What are you talking about, Nate?Hang on a second.I know. I didn't go. I know, but that's what made it frustrating. I had no one to go show my wife, Well, here's mine. It was actually going to be-What do you mean?Because what is she your high school sweetheart or something?No, we started dating 2021. We met at Applebee's. We both waited tables at Applebee's. I was a host at the time.That's great.I love that. You don't need to scream.A little stuff is going.Sounds like it's all good in the neighborhood What are we?We're all in the neighborhood.We're all in the neighborhood or something.In the neighborhood. But we're big fans. We took our daughter.What was your favorite thing on the Apple Buse menu? Here we go.They had the chicken broccoli Alfredo. I'd get no broccoli. Get that out of there. I hear Then I'd say, put it on the side just so the guy thinks I'm going to eat it. Then he would just take a full plate of broccoli back after. I got full on the other stuff.That's so true. Like we're worried what they I think, yeah.Watch this. Do you think that's impressive? Sean, Applebee's menu backwards.Go. Go. Apple cobbler.Of those kinds of restaurants- Chinese chicken salad. Pretty good. I'll eat that. Every place makes a Chinese chicken salad now. That's like the new Moulton Lava cake. Every place has a Chinese chicken.What makes it a Chinese chicken salad? Is it just because of the ginger dressing?They're the only ones that don't eat it. And those crispy noodles.The crispy noodles and the... Yeah, you get the crispy-Chin-chin. Listen, Sean, I don't have to tell you. Chin-chin. Chin-chin does the best one.One of the best ones.One of the best ones. Yeah, one of the best ones.Jones Shontai Lange, his Chin-chin-chin. Wait, so of all those kinds of restaurants, I forget what you call them. Are they big box restaurants?No, chain restaurants.Chain restaurants.Have you all not been to one in a while?It's been a minute, but I did like to sit in your news special, Nate says everything Everything I learned, I don't know a lot that came from a building, a higher education building. Everything I learned, I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.The Lowe's. The Line of Lowe's.Everything I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.Yeah, we're big chain. I had an old joke about I was a big... I don't like mom and pop shops because they can close. Just they're like, We don't feel good today, and they close. Walmart, they were a mom and Pop shop at some point, and then they got it together and became unreal.I like those, too.I like Mom and Pop shop.Here's what I like. I like Chili's, and I'm not afraid to say- Chili's is good.They have the great chocolate lavika. If you want one, go to Chili's.Go to Chili. They used to have the Southwest egg rolls or whatever. They used to have those things. They were great. Me and Dax used to always go to, God, I love a chili's.What about Outback?They any good with the Blooming Honey? Yeah, we go to Outback a good bit.Scottie He looked at TGIF, and he would have-Oh, he used to love that.That's good, too. That's fun. That's an intimidating menu.Dr. Pepper is doing some pretty amazing things right now. If you are into Dr. Pepper, Die Dr. Pepper. Is that right? They got some good stuff going on. Is that right? Yeah, it's They got some cream soda, strawberry stuff. I mean, it's something, dude. They're showing off over there.Did we ever get any confirmation on the doctor portion of the pepper? Did we ever see documentation to prove that he graduated?He suggest diet. What doctor was he?Yeah. I mean. Dr. Papp. I do like Diet Dr. Pepper, too. I'm going to say this. I like their ads. I like their TV ads. I think they're funny. I think you're I think they're real clever. Nate, before I let you go, how do you know Greg Garcia? How did that happen, this Son of a Gun? Speaking of Son of a guns.I've tried to make a bunch of shows that have never gone. We've had one show that we shot a pilot. Greg came in. I did not know him, but he came in. Danielle Sanchez-Witzel. She was show running it, and she's friends with Greg. Greg came in to help us do it. I knew Greg Garcia's work, but I didn't know him when he first came in. So before he first came in, he's like, he's going to help us. And I was like, I don't know who this dude is. I got to listen to this guy. And then we rewrote the whole script off just his ideas because they were so good. And obviously, he's unreal. So we just become really close and become friends. I was just with him this week, actually, at dinner with him because I had to go to LA for a second. We became friends like that. He comes out on the road, too. I'm telling you, you all come out on the road. If you want to get away and have a little fun trip, come on out.Dude, that would actually be really It's a fun, if you mean it.It's a fun thing.If you mean it.I swear. Fallon's coming tonight. We have a fun time. We play cards. We went to a casino last night in Philadelphia.Sean, I First of all, this is your dream. They go to a casino and they're going to chain restaurants. Every cracker barrel got skin merch in front from Sean's car.Cracker barrel is one we didn't touch on. I've not been there, but I hear that's the one.Anywhere that can handle bus parking, it's all chain stuff.Well, Greg R. C. Is one of the all-time great guys. Super, super funny guy. One of the funniest pranks. I'm not really I'm a big pranks guy, but he is so funny. I had a long joke and a prank, and he's such a great guy. So, yeah, that makes sense that you guys would be pals. Well, listen, I'm going to return the offer and say, next time you're out here in California, let's go play golf, man, and hang out and grab some lunch. I'm such a huge fan of yours, dude. Honestly, you're just the funniest, funny, as funny as dude.So funny. It's so good to see you. It's so exciting to see you. Just more and more and more people appreciate you.Really happy for your success. Truly, truly, Yeah, man.Yeah. Thanks for having me on.Nate, thank you for doing this.What a thrill.Thank you for just saying it.What a thrill. All right. The great Nate Bergazzi. Thank you, buddy.Thank.You, Nate.Thanks, Nate.Thank you, guys.See you, man. Have fun.Bye.The great Nate.The great Nate. The great Nate. God, is he funny?Yeah. Old-school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop funny. Hilarious. God.He just seems like a real kind fella. You know?Yeah, I can't see him getting upset.I'm sure you could figure out a way to piss him off. How would you? What would be your strategy? If you really wanted to get Nate pissed off?I'd ask him questions. I'd ask him the same thing over and over again. I didn't understand.No, I think he'd be very patient with it. I don't think that would be his button pusher.No, but if you just went on and on about something you just really, honestly, truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off. I wonder. What are you not getting, right? Yeah. You know what I No, we have a pretty high threshold.We have a pretty decent amount of patience for you in that regard.What is the thing that gets you guys to anger quicker than anything else?Stupidity.Stupidity, yeah.People who don't think like I do.I have a short fuse for stuff. I don't suffer.I have a short fuse for people who are incompetent or don't have common sense about easy things. Then in the meantime, I'm the dumbest person on the planet, and I probably do the same thing.Yeah. I hate when people punch down. When they're mean to people because they know they can be. It's so lazy.Yeah, it is.Punch down either... Especially if it... We do do a lot of joking around, and we love to rib each other and stuff. But anytime I see somebody who likes to, and we talked about with Nate, who likes to get a laugh at somebody else's expense.Or you know what else hits me off? Confident ignorance.That can also be super funny, though.Yeah, sometimes. Well, in a character, it can be. Right.You have to do it on purpose. But yeah, a person who is much smarter or much more confident than they have a right to be is just grading. Because you have to spend an effort to convince them that you're buying it.But if you have no dog in that fight and you're just observing that person, it can be hilarious. Oh, yeah.Yeah, that is true. That is true.By the way, I love playing those characters. Yeah, do you? The character that's just an alpha everywhere. Then the tough guy walks in and then they're beta. Hi, beta.Yeah, right. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny.I think we should meet him in Phoenix and go get some of that Bianco pizza.We should. And then play some golf over there. Or you're not playing golf anymore.Not until October. That's not until October. I have to be disciplined. I know.I mean, we can go to Nate's.Here it comes.We can go to his show and participate, or we can go and just be a bunch of... Bites.We stand at birth.Bye. So dumb when we do.Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes.Smartlist is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant-Terry, Rob Armjardf, and Bennett Barbego.Smartless.If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wundry. Com/survey.Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels.She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef.But this story didn't end with a happily ever after.When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground, and I heard somebody say, Call 911.As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they looked at would be the spouse.We understand that's usually the way they do it.But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels?There are murders in all of the books.That she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy early and ad-free right now by joining WNDYRI Plus.

what always blows my mind about standups, though? How you can just walk around the stage for two hours and always You always have something to talk about. How do you... Is it like a monolog you memorize? Or how can you just go up and speak funny for 2 hours straight?

God, he's going to love show business, do you think?

For two hours straight.

Yeah, Sean. Where did you get a load of her?

He's going to love show business. He's going to love it.

Two-thirds of the planet is water. There's a couple of poles.

No, you know what I mean? That always blows me. Obviously, you had material that you work on, but do you ever-There's your answer. Go up and you're like, Oh, my God, I don't know what subject to talk about next? Like the flow of it.

Well, I don't go up. Yeah, I go up prepared. I can't do the other. I can't really do like crowd work, go up.

It's very, very- He's not free styling, bro. No, I know. He's been working on it for months.

I know, but it's- But, Nate, do you ever switch Nate, do you ever switch the order based on the audience?

Oh, yeah. This new hour, I've switched it a ton. But it's worked because now I'm opening on a joke that I have closed on. It's great to be opening on a joke I've actually had to have the energy and the rhythm of a closer, and then you just move it up, and now it's the front.

And you're doing those decisions on the fly?

Yeah, you just fill it out. It's like a song. I'm in love with stand-up right now. I love it so much. The way I've looked at writing, it's a movie. So I'm the main character of this movie. And I'm not... I'm telling a story. There's a reason for be saying all this stuff, and everything leads into the other thing. So you want to make it where people don't realize you're into another joke. But in my head, I could be on joke five. But I'm trying to make it where... And then that's how you remember it, because the only way, if you're talking about riding a car and then you're like, My wife bought a car. Well, now that's the only thing I could go into. Right.

We will be right back.

Thanks to Viore for supporting the show. Tired of the same old workout clothes? I am. I'm also tired of working out, but I'm going to do it. Then you need to check out Viore. Viore is your destination for high-performance active wear that's designed to look and feel great. Their pieces aren't just for the gym. They're so comfortable and stylish. You want to wear them all day long. Viore's innovative fabrics and thoughtful design ensure maximum mobility and breathability no matter how intense your workout gets. But the best part? Their active wear doesn't scream, I just came from the gym. Whether you're hitting the gym, running errands, or lounging at home, Viore has everything you need to look and feel your best. For me, I like the transit jogger, and the color I like it in is ink, I-N-K. It's like a navy color. But I love it because I wear sweat pants almost every single day, and I need a new one. I got these Viori ones. Oh, my God. I wear them immediately when I get out of bed, and I just wear them around the house or wear them to the store or wear them wherever I need to go, and nobody knows the difference.

They don't even question what my pants are. They just think they're really cool looking. Viori is an investment in your happiness, and they're hooking up smartlist listeners with 20% off your first purchase at viori. Com/smartlist. That's V-U-O-R-I. Com/smartlist. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but you'll also enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75 and free returns. Go to viori. Com/smartlist and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. This show is sponsored by Better Help. I talked about this before about comparing your life to others. It can be really dangerous and really unhealthy. It's almost inevitable if you're on social media, you're like, Oh, why don't I have that? Why don't I look like that? Why is my life not as great as this person seemingly? That's the thing. It's seemingly people just post the best versions of themselves or the greatest parts of themselves. You don't know everything about them entirely. It's bad to compare yourselves to it. But I understand it's easy to do so. But comparing yourself to others is a total joy killer. It's so easy to look at someone's social media, like I said, and think that they've got it all figured out.

But the truth is everyone's got their own stuff going on behind the scenes that you can't see. Therapy can help you focus on what you want instead of what others have, so you can start living your best life. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist costs any time for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with Betterhelp. Visit betterhelp. Com/smartlist today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/smartlist. Smartlist gets support from ZipRecruiter. Summer is finally here. What? And all those seasonal businesses are looking to hire. Everything from mule packers to drama camp leaders. That means if you've got those special skills, you're in luck. There's a big demand for people like you, and they're not exactly easy to find. Whether you're hiring for one of those roles or any other role, how do you find top talent before the competition gets to them? Ziprecruiter. Right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter. Com/smartlist. Found a candidate that If this really stands out?

Ziprecruiter makes it easy to reach out to them right away. Just use the pre-written, Invite to apply, message to personally connect with your top picks and get them interested in your opportunity. Gear up for summer with ZipRecruiter's high-speed hiring tools. See why 4 out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter, get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to this exclusive web address right now to try ZipRecruiter for free. Ziprecruiter. Com/smartless. Again, that's ZipRecruiter. Com/smartless. Ziprecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Now, back to the show.

Who was your main inspiration as far as developing that style of telling stories as opposed to jokes? Was it a George Carlin? Because I seem to remember he was like that, too, right?

Yeah. Well, a big... Cosby was one. But if you go watch his old stuff, it's very storytelling, all that stuff. I'm a big Seinfeld fan. Seinfeld was... Because I always looked at it like I tell stories, but in a joke form. I try to never be too far from the laugh because the farther you are from the laugh, the bigger the laugh has to be. And I don't want to put that much pressure on a laugh. So if I can just keep it going and let it build, it's like, it doesn't... You're just not putting the weight of the world on this. You're like... Because if you go silent too long, there's a point where you're like, Well, this joke better be unreal.

Sean tried stand up, and we won't get to his opening joke, but he started so far from the laugh, and then he never got even to the same area code as the laugh. You know what I mean? He never had actual direct sight on the laugh. They never got a clean look at it.

He went into a lecture. There's no way. You're like, No, he's supposed to go. Well, he'll never get in now.

Even with a series of mirrors, he couldn't see the laugh.

It was so obscured.

That's how I drive around town. I only take right-hand turns. But Nate, biggest bombing story? Did you just like, Oh, my God, this is the worst?

Yeah, there's a bunch. I mean, you blame it on. I had one one time I thought it was the shirt I wore, and so I had to move that shirt away. I had a buttoned-down shirt and I tucked it in. I've never done that since. For real? Yeah. I was like, it wasn't me. I was just like, This shirt. Couldn't have been the material.

This fucking shirt is killing me. What is this guy's shirt?

What is this guy's deal? I've done a cruise ship.

Say no more.

I won a contest, and your prize was to set your career back five years and do cruises. I go out and I'm doing it. You got to do a bunch of shows. You do 30 Clean, 30 Dirty. I never had Dirty. Then you would do another show. You needed honest, because sometimes these people would come back and watch multiple shows. You needed to have two hours of material or be able to mess with crowd or something. And I remember we'd go up and you would do one show at the beginning of it. You do five minutes each, and it's in the big theater, and you're just letting the crowd know, We're comedians. We got a show back here, blah, blah. So the other guy just was great and knew how to... He shined a flyshot on the crowd, just knew how to really play with the crowd. Always works. And he was like, Coming to my shows, every show is different. And he made a big announcement how they're all different. And then I went up and I said, I go, Come to one. It may be the other one, but the other one will be the same.

I was like, Do not come to all my shows. Most will be the same. I don't have enough material to have them all be different. So you can go to his shows. They will be different. Mine will be... And then I went and did a show, and I started it, and they didn't laugh. And I was like, Oh, these people have been to every show. And I'm not a crowd work guy. And I'm like, So what do you do, man? And some guy's like, he's an oil rigger in the ocean. It's actually a pretty crazy job. And I was like, That's cool. And I just moved on. It's like an insane. People are saying crazy stuff. Like, I'm a bank robber. I'm like, That's neat, man. What about you, ma'am? Back there, I had nothing.

No ripping.

And then I had to ride in an elevator with these people. I'm in an elevator in the ocean. You think it? Sounds like I made it. And I'm just sitting there and I had a hat on, and I just hear some guy just trashing My shoulder's touching him, and I just have to sit there and get off. Oh, my God.

But they do separate them between Clean and Dirty on a cruisehip that's exclusive to a cruise ship?

Yeah. You would just have a show that's like, The kids can come to this show. Your family can come to the show, and then you'd have a night at 11:00 PM. It's like an adult-only show. You still can't be that dirty, but the idea of it is a little more…

Yeah, you could have just dropped in a couple F-bombs just randomly.

I got a curse as I talk about parking. I'm like, You guys have a parallel parking? They're like, This guy's filthy. I didn't even have any. I had no dirty jokes. I don't talk about sex or political. There's nothing really that's like this- What about political sex?

Will you ever touch political sex? Is that something that you'd be willing to do? That I will.

If the right joke comes up.

Sure. It is might not doing well and you can't leave for another 45 minutes?Are you scared of the eyes?I mean, have you ever had a panic attack on a stage and know that you can't leave for another hour?I the funniest things was it was a story about meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend.Yeah, on the boat? Yeah. I got to remember it, but we went to... It had happened. We're on the Lake, Old Hickory Lake. Is that true? Yeah. We're in the water, and then my wife's ex-boyfriend was on another boat. I didn't see him, and she pointed it out. There's no reason to point it out, but she pointed it out. So then all I can think of now, I'm thinking about him. And then I look at her and she's looking at him, and I feel like she's looking at him to see what her life would be like if she didn't marry me. I was looking at him to see what my life would be like if I didn't marry her. So we're both putting a lot of pressure on this guy. And then my buddy told me, he's like, You should go fight him. I was like, What? He's on a boat. I got to swim over to that fight. Have you ever tried to climb in a boat from water? It's not graceful. It's not easy. You don't come in with power. I would need his help to start the fight.Right.I think that was it.It's so funny. But we can all relate to meeting exes, our current exes. I don't know if you guys did. It's never good.Yeah, I don't. I don't really have exes.All right. What are you talking about, Nate?Hang on a second.I know. I didn't go. I know, but that's what made it frustrating. I had no one to go show my wife, Well, here's mine. It was actually going to be-What do you mean?Because what is she your high school sweetheart or something?No, we started dating 2021. We met at Applebee's. We both waited tables at Applebee's. I was a host at the time.That's great.I love that. You don't need to scream.A little stuff is going.Sounds like it's all good in the neighborhood What are we?We're all in the neighborhood.We're all in the neighborhood or something.In the neighborhood. But we're big fans. We took our daughter.What was your favorite thing on the Apple Buse menu? Here we go.They had the chicken broccoli Alfredo. I'd get no broccoli. Get that out of there. I hear Then I'd say, put it on the side just so the guy thinks I'm going to eat it. Then he would just take a full plate of broccoli back after. I got full on the other stuff.That's so true. Like we're worried what they I think, yeah.Watch this. Do you think that's impressive? Sean, Applebee's menu backwards.Go. Go. Apple cobbler.Of those kinds of restaurants- Chinese chicken salad. Pretty good. I'll eat that. Every place makes a Chinese chicken salad now. That's like the new Moulton Lava cake. Every place has a Chinese chicken.What makes it a Chinese chicken salad? Is it just because of the ginger dressing?They're the only ones that don't eat it. And those crispy noodles.The crispy noodles and the... Yeah, you get the crispy-Chin-chin. Listen, Sean, I don't have to tell you. Chin-chin. Chin-chin does the best one.One of the best ones.One of the best ones. Yeah, one of the best ones.Jones Shontai Lange, his Chin-chin-chin. Wait, so of all those kinds of restaurants, I forget what you call them. Are they big box restaurants?No, chain restaurants.Chain restaurants.Have you all not been to one in a while?It's been a minute, but I did like to sit in your news special, Nate says everything Everything I learned, I don't know a lot that came from a building, a higher education building. Everything I learned, I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.The Lowe's. The Line of Lowe's.Everything I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.Yeah, we're big chain. I had an old joke about I was a big... I don't like mom and pop shops because they can close. Just they're like, We don't feel good today, and they close. Walmart, they were a mom and Pop shop at some point, and then they got it together and became unreal.I like those, too.I like Mom and Pop shop.Here's what I like. I like Chili's, and I'm not afraid to say- Chili's is good.They have the great chocolate lavika. If you want one, go to Chili's.Go to Chili. They used to have the Southwest egg rolls or whatever. They used to have those things. They were great. Me and Dax used to always go to, God, I love a chili's.What about Outback?They any good with the Blooming Honey? Yeah, we go to Outback a good bit.Scottie He looked at TGIF, and he would have-Oh, he used to love that.That's good, too. That's fun. That's an intimidating menu.Dr. Pepper is doing some pretty amazing things right now. If you are into Dr. Pepper, Die Dr. Pepper. Is that right? They got some good stuff going on. Is that right? Yeah, it's They got some cream soda, strawberry stuff. I mean, it's something, dude. They're showing off over there.Did we ever get any confirmation on the doctor portion of the pepper? Did we ever see documentation to prove that he graduated?He suggest diet. What doctor was he?Yeah. I mean. Dr. Papp. I do like Diet Dr. Pepper, too. I'm going to say this. I like their ads. I like their TV ads. I think they're funny. I think you're I think they're real clever. Nate, before I let you go, how do you know Greg Garcia? How did that happen, this Son of a Gun? Speaking of Son of a guns.I've tried to make a bunch of shows that have never gone. We've had one show that we shot a pilot. Greg came in. I did not know him, but he came in. Danielle Sanchez-Witzel. She was show running it, and she's friends with Greg. Greg came in to help us do it. I knew Greg Garcia's work, but I didn't know him when he first came in. So before he first came in, he's like, he's going to help us. And I was like, I don't know who this dude is. I got to listen to this guy. And then we rewrote the whole script off just his ideas because they were so good. And obviously, he's unreal. So we just become really close and become friends. I was just with him this week, actually, at dinner with him because I had to go to LA for a second. We became friends like that. He comes out on the road, too. I'm telling you, you all come out on the road. If you want to get away and have a little fun trip, come on out.Dude, that would actually be really It's a fun, if you mean it.It's a fun thing.If you mean it.I swear. Fallon's coming tonight. We have a fun time. We play cards. We went to a casino last night in Philadelphia.Sean, I First of all, this is your dream. They go to a casino and they're going to chain restaurants. Every cracker barrel got skin merch in front from Sean's car.Cracker barrel is one we didn't touch on. I've not been there, but I hear that's the one.Anywhere that can handle bus parking, it's all chain stuff.Well, Greg R. C. Is one of the all-time great guys. Super, super funny guy. One of the funniest pranks. I'm not really I'm a big pranks guy, but he is so funny. I had a long joke and a prank, and he's such a great guy. So, yeah, that makes sense that you guys would be pals. Well, listen, I'm going to return the offer and say, next time you're out here in California, let's go play golf, man, and hang out and grab some lunch. I'm such a huge fan of yours, dude. Honestly, you're just the funniest, funny, as funny as dude.So funny. It's so good to see you. It's so exciting to see you. Just more and more and more people appreciate you.Really happy for your success. Truly, truly, Yeah, man.Yeah. Thanks for having me on.Nate, thank you for doing this.What a thrill.Thank you for just saying it.What a thrill. All right. The great Nate Bergazzi. Thank you, buddy.Thank.You, Nate.Thanks, Nate.Thank you, guys.See you, man. Have fun.Bye.The great Nate.The great Nate. The great Nate. God, is he funny?Yeah. Old-school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop funny. Hilarious. God.He just seems like a real kind fella. You know?Yeah, I can't see him getting upset.I'm sure you could figure out a way to piss him off. How would you? What would be your strategy? If you really wanted to get Nate pissed off?I'd ask him questions. I'd ask him the same thing over and over again. I didn't understand.No, I think he'd be very patient with it. I don't think that would be his button pusher.No, but if you just went on and on about something you just really, honestly, truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off. I wonder. What are you not getting, right? Yeah. You know what I No, we have a pretty high threshold.We have a pretty decent amount of patience for you in that regard.What is the thing that gets you guys to anger quicker than anything else?Stupidity.Stupidity, yeah.People who don't think like I do.I have a short fuse for stuff. I don't suffer.I have a short fuse for people who are incompetent or don't have common sense about easy things. Then in the meantime, I'm the dumbest person on the planet, and I probably do the same thing.Yeah. I hate when people punch down. When they're mean to people because they know they can be. It's so lazy.Yeah, it is.Punch down either... Especially if it... We do do a lot of joking around, and we love to rib each other and stuff. But anytime I see somebody who likes to, and we talked about with Nate, who likes to get a laugh at somebody else's expense.Or you know what else hits me off? Confident ignorance.That can also be super funny, though.Yeah, sometimes. Well, in a character, it can be. Right.You have to do it on purpose. But yeah, a person who is much smarter or much more confident than they have a right to be is just grading. Because you have to spend an effort to convince them that you're buying it.But if you have no dog in that fight and you're just observing that person, it can be hilarious. Oh, yeah.Yeah, that is true. That is true.By the way, I love playing those characters. Yeah, do you? The character that's just an alpha everywhere. Then the tough guy walks in and then they're beta. Hi, beta.Yeah, right. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny.I think we should meet him in Phoenix and go get some of that Bianco pizza.We should. And then play some golf over there. Or you're not playing golf anymore.Not until October. That's not until October. I have to be disciplined. I know.I mean, we can go to Nate's.Here it comes.We can go to his show and participate, or we can go and just be a bunch of... Bites.We stand at birth.Bye. So dumb when we do.Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes.Smartlist is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant-Terry, Rob Armjardf, and Bennett Barbego.Smartless.If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wundry. Com/survey.Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels.She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef.But this story didn't end with a happily ever after.When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground, and I heard somebody say, Call 911.As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they looked at would be the spouse.We understand that's usually the way they do it.But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels?There are murders in all of the books.That she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy early and ad-free right now by joining WNDYRI Plus.

might not doing well and you can't leave for another 45 minutes?

Are you scared of the eyes?

I mean, have you ever had a panic attack on a stage and know that you can't leave for another hour?

I the funniest things was it was a story about meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend.Yeah, on the boat? Yeah. I got to remember it, but we went to... It had happened. We're on the Lake, Old Hickory Lake. Is that true? Yeah. We're in the water, and then my wife's ex-boyfriend was on another boat. I didn't see him, and she pointed it out. There's no reason to point it out, but she pointed it out. So then all I can think of now, I'm thinking about him. And then I look at her and she's looking at him, and I feel like she's looking at him to see what her life would be like if she didn't marry me. I was looking at him to see what my life would be like if I didn't marry her. So we're both putting a lot of pressure on this guy. And then my buddy told me, he's like, You should go fight him. I was like, What? He's on a boat. I got to swim over to that fight. Have you ever tried to climb in a boat from water? It's not graceful. It's not easy. You don't come in with power. I would need his help to start the fight.Right.I think that was it.It's so funny. But we can all relate to meeting exes, our current exes. I don't know if you guys did. It's never good.Yeah, I don't. I don't really have exes.All right. What are you talking about, Nate?Hang on a second.I know. I didn't go. I know, but that's what made it frustrating. I had no one to go show my wife, Well, here's mine. It was actually going to be-What do you mean?Because what is she your high school sweetheart or something?No, we started dating 2021. We met at Applebee's. We both waited tables at Applebee's. I was a host at the time.That's great.I love that. You don't need to scream.A little stuff is going.Sounds like it's all good in the neighborhood What are we?We're all in the neighborhood.We're all in the neighborhood or something.In the neighborhood. But we're big fans. We took our daughter.What was your favorite thing on the Apple Buse menu? Here we go.They had the chicken broccoli Alfredo. I'd get no broccoli. Get that out of there. I hear Then I'd say, put it on the side just so the guy thinks I'm going to eat it. Then he would just take a full plate of broccoli back after. I got full on the other stuff.That's so true. Like we're worried what they I think, yeah.Watch this. Do you think that's impressive? Sean, Applebee's menu backwards.Go. Go. Apple cobbler.Of those kinds of restaurants- Chinese chicken salad. Pretty good. I'll eat that. Every place makes a Chinese chicken salad now. That's like the new Moulton Lava cake. Every place has a Chinese chicken.What makes it a Chinese chicken salad? Is it just because of the ginger dressing?They're the only ones that don't eat it. And those crispy noodles.The crispy noodles and the... Yeah, you get the crispy-Chin-chin. Listen, Sean, I don't have to tell you. Chin-chin. Chin-chin does the best one.One of the best ones.One of the best ones. Yeah, one of the best ones.Jones Shontai Lange, his Chin-chin-chin. Wait, so of all those kinds of restaurants, I forget what you call them. Are they big box restaurants?No, chain restaurants.Chain restaurants.Have you all not been to one in a while?It's been a minute, but I did like to sit in your news special, Nate says everything Everything I learned, I don't know a lot that came from a building, a higher education building. Everything I learned, I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.The Lowe's. The Line of Lowe's.Everything I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.Yeah, we're big chain. I had an old joke about I was a big... I don't like mom and pop shops because they can close. Just they're like, We don't feel good today, and they close. Walmart, they were a mom and Pop shop at some point, and then they got it together and became unreal.I like those, too.I like Mom and Pop shop.Here's what I like. I like Chili's, and I'm not afraid to say- Chili's is good.They have the great chocolate lavika. If you want one, go to Chili's.Go to Chili. They used to have the Southwest egg rolls or whatever. They used to have those things. They were great. Me and Dax used to always go to, God, I love a chili's.What about Outback?They any good with the Blooming Honey? Yeah, we go to Outback a good bit.Scottie He looked at TGIF, and he would have-Oh, he used to love that.That's good, too. That's fun. That's an intimidating menu.Dr. Pepper is doing some pretty amazing things right now. If you are into Dr. Pepper, Die Dr. Pepper. Is that right? They got some good stuff going on. Is that right? Yeah, it's They got some cream soda, strawberry stuff. I mean, it's something, dude. They're showing off over there.Did we ever get any confirmation on the doctor portion of the pepper? Did we ever see documentation to prove that he graduated?He suggest diet. What doctor was he?Yeah. I mean. Dr. Papp. I do like Diet Dr. Pepper, too. I'm going to say this. I like their ads. I like their TV ads. I think they're funny. I think you're I think they're real clever. Nate, before I let you go, how do you know Greg Garcia? How did that happen, this Son of a Gun? Speaking of Son of a guns.I've tried to make a bunch of shows that have never gone. We've had one show that we shot a pilot. Greg came in. I did not know him, but he came in. Danielle Sanchez-Witzel. She was show running it, and she's friends with Greg. Greg came in to help us do it. I knew Greg Garcia's work, but I didn't know him when he first came in. So before he first came in, he's like, he's going to help us. And I was like, I don't know who this dude is. I got to listen to this guy. And then we rewrote the whole script off just his ideas because they were so good. And obviously, he's unreal. So we just become really close and become friends. I was just with him this week, actually, at dinner with him because I had to go to LA for a second. We became friends like that. He comes out on the road, too. I'm telling you, you all come out on the road. If you want to get away and have a little fun trip, come on out.Dude, that would actually be really It's a fun, if you mean it.It's a fun thing.If you mean it.I swear. Fallon's coming tonight. We have a fun time. We play cards. We went to a casino last night in Philadelphia.Sean, I First of all, this is your dream. They go to a casino and they're going to chain restaurants. Every cracker barrel got skin merch in front from Sean's car.Cracker barrel is one we didn't touch on. I've not been there, but I hear that's the one.Anywhere that can handle bus parking, it's all chain stuff.Well, Greg R. C. Is one of the all-time great guys. Super, super funny guy. One of the funniest pranks. I'm not really I'm a big pranks guy, but he is so funny. I had a long joke and a prank, and he's such a great guy. So, yeah, that makes sense that you guys would be pals. Well, listen, I'm going to return the offer and say, next time you're out here in California, let's go play golf, man, and hang out and grab some lunch. I'm such a huge fan of yours, dude. Honestly, you're just the funniest, funny, as funny as dude.So funny. It's so good to see you. It's so exciting to see you. Just more and more and more people appreciate you.Really happy for your success. Truly, truly, Yeah, man.Yeah. Thanks for having me on.Nate, thank you for doing this.What a thrill.Thank you for just saying it.What a thrill. All right. The great Nate Bergazzi. Thank you, buddy.Thank.You, Nate.Thanks, Nate.Thank you, guys.See you, man. Have fun.Bye.The great Nate.The great Nate. The great Nate. God, is he funny?Yeah. Old-school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop funny. Hilarious. God.He just seems like a real kind fella. You know?Yeah, I can't see him getting upset.I'm sure you could figure out a way to piss him off. How would you? What would be your strategy? If you really wanted to get Nate pissed off?I'd ask him questions. I'd ask him the same thing over and over again. I didn't understand.No, I think he'd be very patient with it. I don't think that would be his button pusher.No, but if you just went on and on about something you just really, honestly, truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off. I wonder. What are you not getting, right? Yeah. You know what I No, we have a pretty high threshold.We have a pretty decent amount of patience for you in that regard.What is the thing that gets you guys to anger quicker than anything else?Stupidity.Stupidity, yeah.People who don't think like I do.I have a short fuse for stuff. I don't suffer.I have a short fuse for people who are incompetent or don't have common sense about easy things. Then in the meantime, I'm the dumbest person on the planet, and I probably do the same thing.Yeah. I hate when people punch down. When they're mean to people because they know they can be. It's so lazy.Yeah, it is.Punch down either... Especially if it... We do do a lot of joking around, and we love to rib each other and stuff. But anytime I see somebody who likes to, and we talked about with Nate, who likes to get a laugh at somebody else's expense.Or you know what else hits me off? Confident ignorance.That can also be super funny, though.Yeah, sometimes. Well, in a character, it can be. Right.You have to do it on purpose. But yeah, a person who is much smarter or much more confident than they have a right to be is just grading. Because you have to spend an effort to convince them that you're buying it.But if you have no dog in that fight and you're just observing that person, it can be hilarious. Oh, yeah.Yeah, that is true. That is true.By the way, I love playing those characters. Yeah, do you? The character that's just an alpha everywhere. Then the tough guy walks in and then they're beta. Hi, beta.Yeah, right. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny.I think we should meet him in Phoenix and go get some of that Bianco pizza.We should. And then play some golf over there. Or you're not playing golf anymore.Not until October. That's not until October. I have to be disciplined. I know.I mean, we can go to Nate's.Here it comes.We can go to his show and participate, or we can go and just be a bunch of... Bites.We stand at birth.Bye. So dumb when we do.Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes.Smartlist is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant-Terry, Rob Armjardf, and Bennett Barbego.Smartless.If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wundry. Com/survey.Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels.She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef.But this story didn't end with a happily ever after.When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground, and I heard somebody say, Call 911.As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they looked at would be the spouse.We understand that's usually the way they do it.But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels?There are murders in all of the books.That she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy early and ad-free right now by joining WNDYRI Plus.

the funniest things was it was a story about meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend.

Yeah, on the boat? Yeah. I got to remember it, but we went to... It had happened. We're on the Lake, Old Hickory Lake. Is that true? Yeah. We're in the water, and then my wife's ex-boyfriend was on another boat. I didn't see him, and she pointed it out. There's no reason to point it out, but she pointed it out. So then all I can think of now, I'm thinking about him. And then I look at her and she's looking at him, and I feel like she's looking at him to see what her life would be like if she didn't marry me. I was looking at him to see what my life would be like if I didn't marry her. So we're both putting a lot of pressure on this guy. And then my buddy told me, he's like, You should go fight him. I was like, What? He's on a boat. I got to swim over to that fight. Have you ever tried to climb in a boat from water? It's not graceful. It's not easy. You don't come in with power. I would need his help to start the fight.

Right.

I think that was it.

It's so funny. But we can all relate to meeting exes, our current exes. I don't know if you guys did. It's never good.

Yeah, I don't. I don't really have exes.

All right. What are you talking about, Nate?

Hang on a second.

I know. I didn't go. I know, but that's what made it frustrating. I had no one to go show my wife, Well, here's mine. It was actually going to be-What do you mean?

Because what is she your high school sweetheart or something?

No, we started dating 2021. We met at Applebee's. We both waited tables at Applebee's. I was a host at the time.

That's great.

I love that. You don't need to scream.

A little stuff is going.

Sounds like it's all good in the neighborhood What are we?

We're all in the neighborhood.

We're all in the neighborhood or something.

In the neighborhood. But we're big fans. We took our daughter.

What was your favorite thing on the Apple Buse menu? Here we go.

They had the chicken broccoli Alfredo. I'd get no broccoli. Get that out of there. I hear Then I'd say, put it on the side just so the guy thinks I'm going to eat it. Then he would just take a full plate of broccoli back after. I got full on the other stuff.

That's so true. Like we're worried what they I think, yeah.

Watch this. Do you think that's impressive? Sean, Applebee's menu backwards.

Go. Go. Apple cobbler.

Of those kinds of restaurants- Chinese chicken salad. Pretty good. I'll eat that. Every place makes a Chinese chicken salad now. That's like the new Moulton Lava cake. Every place has a Chinese chicken.

What makes it a Chinese chicken salad? Is it just because of the ginger dressing?

They're the only ones that don't eat it. And those crispy noodles.

The crispy noodles and the... Yeah, you get the crispy-Chin-chin. Listen, Sean, I don't have to tell you. Chin-chin. Chin-chin does the best one.

One of the best ones.

One of the best ones. Yeah, one of the best ones.

Jones Shontai Lange, his Chin-chin-chin. Wait, so of all those kinds of restaurants, I forget what you call them. Are they big box restaurants?

No, chain restaurants.

Chain restaurants.

Have you all not been to one in a while?

It's been a minute, but I did like to sit in your news special, Nate says everything Everything I learned, I don't know a lot that came from a building, a higher education building. Everything I learned, I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.

The Lowe's. The Line of Lowe's.

Everything I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.

Yeah, we're big chain. I had an old joke about I was a big... I don't like mom and pop shops because they can close. Just they're like, We don't feel good today, and they close. Walmart, they were a mom and Pop shop at some point, and then they got it together and became unreal.

I like those, too.

I like Mom and Pop shop.

Here's what I like. I like Chili's, and I'm not afraid to say- Chili's is good.

They have the great chocolate lavika. If you want one, go to Chili's.

Go to Chili. They used to have the Southwest egg rolls or whatever. They used to have those things. They were great. Me and Dax used to always go to, God, I love a chili's.

What about Outback?

They any good with the Blooming Honey? Yeah, we go to Outback a good bit.

Scottie He looked at TGIF, and he would have-Oh, he used to love that.

That's good, too. That's fun. That's an intimidating menu.

Dr. Pepper is doing some pretty amazing things right now. If you are into Dr. Pepper, Die Dr. Pepper. Is that right? They got some good stuff going on. Is that right? Yeah, it's They got some cream soda, strawberry stuff. I mean, it's something, dude. They're showing off over there.

Did we ever get any confirmation on the doctor portion of the pepper? Did we ever see documentation to prove that he graduated?

He suggest diet. What doctor was he?

Yeah. I mean. Dr. Papp. I do like Diet Dr. Pepper, too. I'm going to say this. I like their ads. I like their TV ads. I think they're funny. I think you're I think they're real clever. Nate, before I let you go, how do you know Greg Garcia? How did that happen, this Son of a Gun? Speaking of Son of a guns.

I've tried to make a bunch of shows that have never gone. We've had one show that we shot a pilot. Greg came in. I did not know him, but he came in. Danielle Sanchez-Witzel. She was show running it, and she's friends with Greg. Greg came in to help us do it. I knew Greg Garcia's work, but I didn't know him when he first came in. So before he first came in, he's like, he's going to help us. And I was like, I don't know who this dude is. I got to listen to this guy. And then we rewrote the whole script off just his ideas because they were so good. And obviously, he's unreal. So we just become really close and become friends. I was just with him this week, actually, at dinner with him because I had to go to LA for a second. We became friends like that. He comes out on the road, too. I'm telling you, you all come out on the road. If you want to get away and have a little fun trip, come on out.

Dude, that would actually be really It's a fun, if you mean it.

It's a fun thing.

If you mean it.

I swear. Fallon's coming tonight. We have a fun time. We play cards. We went to a casino last night in Philadelphia.

Sean, I First of all, this is your dream. They go to a casino and they're going to chain restaurants. Every cracker barrel got skin merch in front from Sean's car.

Cracker barrel is one we didn't touch on. I've not been there, but I hear that's the one.

Anywhere that can handle bus parking, it's all chain stuff.

Well, Greg R. C. Is one of the all-time great guys. Super, super funny guy. One of the funniest pranks. I'm not really I'm a big pranks guy, but he is so funny. I had a long joke and a prank, and he's such a great guy. So, yeah, that makes sense that you guys would be pals. Well, listen, I'm going to return the offer and say, next time you're out here in California, let's go play golf, man, and hang out and grab some lunch. I'm such a huge fan of yours, dude. Honestly, you're just the funniest, funny, as funny as dude.

So funny. It's so good to see you. It's so exciting to see you. Just more and more and more people appreciate you.

Really happy for your success. Truly, truly, Yeah, man.

Yeah. Thanks for having me on.

Nate, thank you for doing this.

What a thrill.

Thank you for just saying it.

What a thrill. All right. The great Nate Bergazzi. Thank you, buddy.Thank.

You, Nate.Thanks, Nate.Thank you, guys.

See you, man. Have fun.

Bye.

The great Nate.

The great Nate. The great Nate. God, is he funny?

Yeah. Old-school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop funny. Hilarious. God.

He just seems like a real kind fella. You know?

Yeah, I can't see him getting upset.

I'm sure you could figure out a way to piss him off. How would you? What would be your strategy? If you really wanted to get Nate pissed off?

I'd ask him questions. I'd ask him the same thing over and over again. I didn't understand.

No, I think he'd be very patient with it. I don't think that would be his button pusher.

No, but if you just went on and on about something you just really, honestly, truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off. I wonder. What are you not getting, right? Yeah. You know what I No, we have a pretty high threshold.

We have a pretty decent amount of patience for you in that regard.

What is the thing that gets you guys to anger quicker than anything else?Stupidity.Stupidity, yeah.

People who don't think like I do.

I have a short fuse for stuff. I don't suffer.

I have a short fuse for people who are incompetent or don't have common sense about easy things. Then in the meantime, I'm the dumbest person on the planet, and I probably do the same thing.

Yeah. I hate when people punch down. When they're mean to people because they know they can be. It's so lazy.

Yeah, it is.

Punch down either... Especially if it... We do do a lot of joking around, and we love to rib each other and stuff. But anytime I see somebody who likes to, and we talked about with Nate, who likes to get a laugh at somebody else's expense.

Or you know what else hits me off? Confident ignorance.

That can also be super funny, though.

Yeah, sometimes. Well, in a character, it can be. Right.

You have to do it on purpose. But yeah, a person who is much smarter or much more confident than they have a right to be is just grading. Because you have to spend an effort to convince them that you're buying it.

But if you have no dog in that fight and you're just observing that person, it can be hilarious. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that is true. That is true.

By the way, I love playing those characters. Yeah, do you? The character that's just an alpha everywhere. Then the tough guy walks in and then they're beta. Hi, beta.

Yeah, right. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny.

I think we should meet him in Phoenix and go get some of that Bianco pizza.

We should. And then play some golf over there. Or you're not playing golf anymore.

Not until October. That's not until October. I have to be disciplined. I know.

I mean, we can go to Nate's.

Here it comes.

We can go to his show and participate, or we can go and just be a bunch of... Bites.

We stand at birth.

Bye. So dumb when we do.

Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes.

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Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels.

She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef.

But this story didn't end with a happily ever after.

When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground, and I heard somebody say, Call 911.

As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they looked at would be the spouse.

We understand that's usually the way they do it.

But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels?

There are murders in all of the books.

That she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy early and ad-free right now by joining WNDYRI Plus.