Coming up. It's Sunday. The NFL is coming. We're going to get some lines. The Cus is here. We're back, baby. We're also brought to you by the Ringer podcast Network. I will have a new rewatchables for you on Monday because Michael Keaton, Beetlejuice. We're back with Keaton. So we got into the first Michael Keaton movie, the one that put him on the map, the one that made me buy Michael Keaton season tickets. That's right, Night shift. We'll be breaking that down. It's going to be going up Monday night. It is one of the top 20 movies I've seen the most, I think. I know that's weird, but look, came out in 1982, as I've said many times. The movies you love when you're 13 and 14 often become your favorite movies. So Night Shift is one for me. Me and Chris Ryan, stay tuned Monday night. And you can watch it as well on the Ringer Movies channel on YouTube. Well, we're brought to you by Fandil Sportsbook. They have Futures featured bets. They have Futures Live right now. They have the Futures Fusion tab that they ask Sal and I to add a bunch of custom parlay bets we like.

We've been going through a bunch of them on this podcast. You can use our special boost to boost any of our pics. It's division, playoffs, whatever. My favorite pick, you heard at the top, NFC South, Under 30 Wins, plus 155. So please jump on that one. And we're going to be in a little bit, talking about a bunch of those bets. We're going to do a Futures We're going to actually draft our favorite futures and go back and forth and see. If we take one from the other, so be it. But we're going to try to do a bunch of those, and then we're going to do Guest Alliance, Week One, NFL. And then we're going to do Parent Corner. So there you go. One last thing before we get to Sal. You might have noticed, they put out the tweet and the date for Mr. Mcmahon, our new Netflix docuseries that premieres September 25th. I know I've been talking about in this podcast for a couple of years. It's been a four-year odyssey to get this up. It will be September 25th. I would carve out about six and a half hours if I were you because it is something There you go.

All right, it's time for Sal, first, our friends from ProJip. We are officially here. Sundays are back. Cousin Sal is here. It is September first, my favorite month of the year, we're going to do an NFL Futures Bet draft at the top.

Here we go.

We're going to do Guess the Lines for week one. We're going to do some parent corner. We have a whole action-pack thing for you. Sal, we like so many NFL Futures. We just decided to do a draft, and if we take one from the other one, so be it. Whoever goes first, then you go second and third. I go fourth and fifth, so we get two in a row. I think we should say we're putting 50K fake dollars on each one of these or something. Oh, really? To just see that add the tally up at the end of the year. What do you think?

Let me ask you then. So could I just pick first and go no undefeated teams minus 3,500 or no? It has to be something legit.

No, I I thought about that. I think we should try to keep it even odds or plus. And if you want to have one or two in the minus 150, minus 175 range, go for it. But we want to have fun.

I have no idea.

Let's go longer shots. It's fine.

It's good. It's fine. Yeah. All right. You want to go first?

You want to go first or you want me to go first?

Let's let the California lottery determine it. We'll wait till night. We'll add up the balls. It's okay. You go first.

I'll go first. It's my favorite future. We talked about this on the NFC Over Under podcast, and I challenged FanDuel. I was like, I think the NFC South is probably going to win, I don't know, 24, 25 games max. Put some chest hair on FanDuel. Put this on your sportsbook app. Put it in Futures Fusion, the hottest nightclub in LA right now. Put it in there. Let's see it. So FanDuel, they put up NFC South under 30 wins. So 29 and under, you win, and it's plus 155. So if the NFC South has 30 combined wins, you lose that one. I talked about it in the NFC thing. I think the NFC South is going to be a dumpster fire. I would be shocked if anyone's even in the high 20s from this division combined. We'll make you think that.

No, of course. That's a good one. I think you added it up and it was 31, right? Is the actual number for all the wins. So they're adjusting it. Yeah, this is a good one.

I'm trying to figure out how it loses. And I think here's the case study. So Atlanta schedule was so easy If Atlanta just becomes the super easy schedule, nobody believes in them, they're 12 and 5, but everybody can't wait to get bet against them in the playoffs. I think that has to happen. I think Carolina has to be maybe a little better.

That's the main one. Carolina can't screw you. Everyone else will be around seven. Carolina can't be seven. That's it. They got to get out of it.

There's some slight buzz with Carolina. I'm like, I don't know, maybe 11:01 to win the division. I don't see it at all. I think they're going to be awful. Anyway, plus 155, that's my bet. All right, you got the next two.

All right, I'll go. This is another one we discussed. I really, really love this, and it pays six to one. Exact order of finish, Detroit, Green Bay, Chicago, Minnesota. Of course, you could switch that around. Go Chicago, Green Bay for second, third. I think he gets seven to one. But I really like what we settled on, Lions, packers, bears, Vikings, because I haven't been this confident in a first-place team and a fourth-place team finish in a while. I think we have the right one for second and third.

That's the NFC North exact order, six to one, which has been on there for a month or so, and they have them for every division. They have every combination. That is by far my favorite one.

Okay.

Because really the only way you probably lose it is if Green Bay somehow is better than Detroit. I think that Chicago-Minesuda 3-4 combo, I'm locking that in. I don't see any chance Chicago is better wins-wise than Detroit or Green Bay. You and I are both, we talked about it a few days ago, you and I are both super bullish on Detroit.

Let's just commit to those two bets, the NFC South under, and I just went over, and let's watch the rest of the year. Why do we have to go crazy on ourselves?

I had that as my third most favorite future. You took one from me, but the plus 600 is great. If we're doing 50K per bet and you hit that one, you'll have a lead. I will have hit my bet and still you'll be winning me. All right, what's your other one?

I'm going to go same division here. I have to decide between. I like both of these. Actually, you could take one if I do the other. I like Caleb Williams to lead the league in interceptions, 14 to 1. But I also like him over 11 and a half interceptions. All right, I'm going to go over 11 and a half interceptions minus 1, 12. That is asking a lot for a rookie quarterback to come there and have fewer than 12 interceptions. But all three secondaries are pretty good. Even Minnesotas, there are some blue chippers in there. Twelve interceptions is not a bad year. If he has 27 touch downs and twelve interceptions, that's not bad at all. And he's going to make some mistakes. If he played less than one a game, give me, Caleb, over eleven and a half INTs.

What is the juice on that?

Minus one twelve.

That's really good. I was looking at that most interceptions bet It was shocking. Josh Allen was one of the favorites. Then I looked it up last year and he had 18 pics last year. I was like, Oh, yeah, I forgot. He threw a ton of pics. But usually there's the bad QB who gets to play all the time. Last year was Sam Howell. I think he might either he finished with the most or he was right there. The year before was Davis Mills. I have one for this a little later that I was looking at that I thought was pretty nice. You go twice. All right, so I have two in a row. I want to do one longer shot and one that I just really like, but both of them are based in the AFC South. They have a little DNA in the AFC South. The division that I think both of us are intrigued by this year. First one, Mahomes, C. J. Stroud, and Trevor Lawrence, all to throw for 4,000 yards. Parley plus 4,03. So I looked at this. Lawrence has thrown for 4,000 yards in two of the last three years, including last year when he had 100 injuries.

Mahomes would have to get hurt to miss this. And Stroud, first 12 games last year, threw for 3,500 yards, missed a couple of games, came back, still finished over 4,000, and now the receivers are better. Basically, somebody would have to get hurt for them to miss this. And 4 to 1 is tasty. I was looking at the history of 4,000-yard throwers, which is a little easier now that we have the extra game. But there's usually between maybe 8 and 10 that do it each year. I think these are going to be three of the eight. So plus 4,03. What do you think of that one? I like that.

You just need You need 16 games out of them, right?

If someone plays 15, it's a little sketchy.

15, I guess you could do it. That's 15 is 2600, 2600 game. That's not bad. I like that.

All right. Okay. Then my second one, we've I talked about it a lot. I picked them to make the Super Bowl. They were one of my seven AFC Super Bowl picks in our AFC over and under. Houston to win the AFC South, which the odds have dropped and is now dead even. It's plus 100 for them to win the AFC South. The only team I'm afraid of for this a little bit is Jacksonville, but I'm all in on this Houston team. I think CJ is going to be really good. As I said the other day, if he's healthy and he has a good team, I just think he's 11 wins going forward. So the fact that this isn't minus yet, this is plus 100, but Philly's minus 140 to win the NFC East just seems like good value. So that's my other one. Okay.

I like that. I have Jaguars to win the one because I think it's going to come down to the last week, and I'd rather have the last money. Good odds. All right, I get two here. So let me go, Comeback player of the year, Kirk Cousins. It was 5 to 1. You can get it at plus 4:30 now. I think I mentioned on the NFC pod, he had 18 touch downs. He led the league before he got injured. I think he's going to put up good numbers with that team, right? Dare I say, Kyle Pitz, Drake London. I think they're going to be okay this year. So right there. I think we discount. I'd rather not take the Saints or Falcons or anything else to win a division. But I think Cousins will put up good numbers. I don't think Rodgers will as much. And Burrow, I don't know. I don't want to count injuries against anybody, but I think Cousins 430 is a good one.

So I didn't have a come back bet out of my 31 futures I have prepared for this draft. And the reason is I really like Cousins at plus 430, but I also was afraid of Rodgers. And Rodgers was, what was he like, plus 220, plus 230, something like that. Wasn't worth it. I didn't understand why they weren't the exact same odds. Because if either of them win the division, they're probably going to be the favorite to be a comeback part of the Year, right? So I don't know why Rogers would be above Cousins. They had the same injury. They're playing for these teams that are in that 90 a 10 win range with a chance to win the division. I thought Cousins had the best odds. It didn't make the cup for me. I had a lot of ones that were like- Yeah, because his team is expected to win the division where the bangles aren't and the jets aren't either. There was some weird one in the comebacks. They really were throwing in everybody. They're trying to steal money. They're putting in people you didn't even know were still in the way.

Grady Jarrett. What is Grady Jarrett? What stats does Grady Jarrett have to have to win CPOY?

Yeah, can Can you imagine week nine? We're like, I don't know, man. Grady Jarrett. He looks like he almost has this locked up.

Damn, why did we bet that? Tim Patrick, I think, is on a practice squad. He's 100 for one. It's good stuff.

It seems like Ricky Pearsall is going to be okay. I think he should probably be in there, right? Yeah, you're right. The Dekot fucking shot yesterday. So if he has 40 catches, I think he would have to be one of the favorites.

That's interesting. We never talked about a rookie to win Comeback Player of the Year. He can win both awards. Unbelievable.

Guys just walking around downtown San Francisco. All right, What's your other one?

All right, for my second here, coming around, I'm going Kenneth Walker, Most Rushing Yards, NFC West. Now, this is dependent probably on McCafee getting injured, maybe missing a couple of games. Maybe they hold them out. Maybe they're going for the one seed, whatever it is. I need McCafee to miss some games. I need Kieran Williams to be named the punt returner for the Rams, which seems like it already happened. Plus 360, Kenneth Walker, right around 1,100 yards. I have him on way too many fantasy league, but I'm sticking with this.

I think it's a good Well, and then James Connor, maybe him not going crazy. But I think it's a really smart one because everyone's going nuts about him. He definitely is probably the most hyped higher-end running back in any fantasy league. Then the McCafrey, who knows? Calf hamstrings. I like it. I'm surprised the odds are that high. I would have thought the odds would have been in the plus 250 range. Those are good ones. All right, for my next two, I'm going to go Detroit for both. I'm trying to do themes with my convos. We talked about this a bunch on our two-parter, Detroit for the one seed plus 480. I just think the value is, especially with San Francisco, with some year from hell potential with San Francisco and then the NFC East, I'm not sure which one comes out of there. I don't like anyone in the NFC South. I just think the one seed is coming from the NFC North, whether it's Green Bay or Detroit. We talked about Detroit with all the indoor games, Detroit loading up, Detroit getting a taste last year, but not getting the Super Bowl hangover. And I just think they're built to beat the shit out of teams this year, which ties into my...

So that's plus 480. And that ties into my second one, which is Aiden Hutchinson for most sacks. 11 to 1. So you figure if Detroit's a juggernaut, which I think they're going to be, at least for the regular season, and you're having leads and the other team is throwing a lot and you're putting a lot of pressure on them, and the crowd's loud, I like the way he looked last year. What is Mo Sacks? I think he had 11 or 12 last year. Maybe he gets to 17 this year. Who's he competing against? Parsons, Watt, one of the bosses. Garrett. But I think he probably needs to get to 17, 18. But on a team that's running it up, I could see it. I could see him having a five-sack game against some terrible team where they're just killing them. So 11 to 1 for Hutchinson. That was my other one.

He's got a little help this year. I like that. All right, I'll give you one. I think I gave this out when we did the AFC. Tyree killed 13 or more receiving touch downs, plus 360. I mentioned that I don't understand this number. He's hit this two of the last four years. He has 13 and 15 touch downs. He had 119 catches the last two years. He had 34 red zone targets last year, which is insane. He scores five touch downs, 50 yards or more every season. I like this right there as long as he stays healthy.

What's the juice on that one?

Plus 360 there. Plus 360 for 13 or more.

Do you like the odor from this Miami team? I'm going to use odor. It's going to be my go-to word this year. Do you like the odor from this team this year?

I was reading up on that The odor or the owner? The owner is like Serena Williams.

The odor, the smell, the vibe, the look. I mean, starting this week one. They have a bunch of injuries and guys questionable already. I I don't know.

I know you're trying to bait. You've been baiting JJ on our text chain, but he has to defend his team like I do. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

If it's a year from hell team, I hope Tye Rieke will be part of that, and it'll be like a pulled hammy or whatever. But the plus 360, I can't argue with the juice. What's your other one?

All right, I'm going to go another receiver here. Ceedee Lamb, home or call, probably. Most receiving yards in the NFC East, plus He beat A. J. Brown, who was second by 300 yards last year. It wasn't even close. Who are we looking at after that? Nabors? No.

Mclaren?

Mclaren. Those guys aren't going to get to 14, 1,500 yards. Plus 1,15 is better than picking a division winner, I think, in the NFCE. So that's my second one.

So are they saying basically it's him versus the two Eagles guys, and they feel like that's dead even? Because it feels like to me, Lamb should be minus 1,50 for that. Yeah, right.

It will be after this podcast, but I would jump on that.

Well, go to Futures Fusion. Drinks are half priced during happy hour. Okay, I'm doing two pats for my next two. You know where I stand on this Pats season. You try to talk me out of it. There's been some action on the bangles pats line, which we'll talk about when we do Guess the lines, even though we already guess them. First one, the pats to be the last winless team is plus 500. If you look at their schedule, and especially the fact that they're going to play present this first four weeks, they're super unhappy with how the offensive line looks. And it just feels like they're going to start in that 0 and 6, 0 and 7 range. The other teams are Tennessee plus 750, who, I don't know, I could see them stealing a game in the first month. Carolina is plus 850. People think they could just beat New Orleans in week one. Minnesota is plus 950, Giants, 11:01, Broncos, 13:01. So to get Big action on paths to be less than less. When naming Briceet was their admission, we're going to suck this year. We don't even want to risk our rookie quarterback.

Even though Gerard Mayo is like, Yeah, Mayo played Briceet. And then two days later, he's like, Our starting quarterback is Jacobi Briceet. So this is a team that doesn't seem like it wants to win. Plus 500.

All right. I mean, this is the theme, right? I have to defend my team to the end, and you have to say that yours is going to be terrible. Let's just Get ready for it, people. This is what our year is going to look like.

Well, we are terrible. It's not like I'm going to have to go out on a limb. It's going to be a bad team.

The only thing I'll say is I think we looked it over in the NFC. So the Giants play the Vikings this week, and it's a murderous schedule for Minnesota if they lose this. Not great for the Giants either. And I think you can get 9:50 and 11:1 for both of those two. But I mean, yeah, Patients will be right in there.

Yeah. Minnesota was another one I was looking at because it already seems like things are moving against them. They've had some injuries. They have, I don't know what happens with Addison. Like, Goodell just decides after week two. He's now on that, you cannot play anymore list. But they go Giants, San Fran Houston at Green Bay, Jets by Detroit and then at Ram's week eight. I was looking at them, too. It's insanity. But, yeah, we'll talk about them and the Giants. But it does feel like whoever wins that game, the loser is probably the Pats competition for that bet. All right, sticking with the Pats for this second one, Pat's under four and a half. Then Seattle over eight and a half wins. I really like this Seattle team. I think they might be coming up later with a couple more bets for me, but I like everything I'm reading, everything I'm hearing. I like their roster. I like that they actually have a home field advantage, or on paper, they at least do. I like the first game, week one. Start now. They're going to be favored. They should take care of business. I just think they're a nine or a 10-win team.

That plus pats under four and a half is three to one plus 300. Instead of betting Seattle, I would just rather throw the pats in there because the pats aren't going five and twelve. That's the second Not bad.

Is this on the Futures Fusion or the guest aligns with Bill and Sal section of FanDuel?

It might even be both. Both bars are open.

Our kids are going to get kicked out of Futures Fusion for showing A fake ID, aren't they? Our college kids.

So he just got a fake ID to get into Futures Fusion, I think, is what's happening. It's not going to work.

It doesn't work. All right, we get minus... Oh, good.

We're taking a break. We did a lot of things. We'll come back, we'll finish the Futures draft, then we'll do Guess the Lines. Football is back, and there's no better place to get in on the NFL action than FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook. Right now, all customers can bet $5, get a three-week free trial of NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV. You'll be able to watch every regular season Sunday afternoon at a market game. And with FanDuel, you don't even have to leave the app to access real-time stats and data to help you make even more winning bets. Just visit fanduel. Com/bs to download America's number one sportsbook. You must be 21 plus, 18 plus in DC. President selects states offer ends 9:22:24. After three week free trial, the full price of NFL Sunday ticket will be automatically charged seasonally. Cancel anytime, no refunds, terms, restrictions, and embargoes apply. Youtube TV-based plan required to watch YouTube TV. Redemption requires a Google account in current form of payment. Gambling problem? Call 1-800 Gambler or visit rg-help. Com. All right, we're going to continue the Futures draft. I think it's going pretty well. Yeah, we haven't lost anything.

You got two in a row. Let's go. Yeah, you haven't lost any money. We're just throwing fake money around left and right. What do you got next?

I can't believe you don't like this or haven't picked this because you're anti-Patriots and pro-Lions. Guess Alliance with Bill Sal, our very own section, has Lion's best record, Patriot's worst record, 36 to 1. I'm going for it, taking a stab here. At $50,000, I think that pays, I don't know, 36 billion, something somewhere in there.

I had it. I had it later. I like those other two. I already did the Lyons for something. But yeah, I got to be honest. I don't know why that's so high. It's very high. 36 to 1, where it's like, on the one hand, the Alliance team that I think the Chiefs is the only real competition for that one seat if you really believe in the lions. And then the Pats, who I think they're one of the three worst teams, no question. I thought that would be 12 to one. So great odds.

Well, there's about three teams in contention on both sides. And I'm also sticking with the Guest Alliance with Bill Sal section, at least three of Falcons, Texans, Chiefs, and Jets to make the playoffs. This is a heavy big. I'm not doing anyone any favors at minus 160, but you could get all four. There's is a way to get all four for sure. Falcons, Texans, Chiefs, and Jets, three of them are favorite to win their divisions.

Yes. I'm trying to think, what is the juice on that?

Minus 160.

So I apologize. No, I like that. Yeah. So KC locked them in. Atlanta is a little dangerous, and then they're basically banking that maybe Houston and Jacksonville don't make it.

So, yeah, that's fair odds. I mean, just to make the play-off, it's not even to win the division. So Atlanta, I I like your thing where they all go under, but could they get a wild card? I guess.

Well, I should add that I have all four of those teams to make the playoffs. And in fact, my next pick is the Jacksonville Jaguars. So this is an adjusted alt win total because their alt total is eight and a half, which you and I both went over. We had a lot of acrimony in our AFC over-unders, but then we bonded over the Jaguars. We both liked them a lot. They're over nine and a half wins. And again, credit to Rahim because he's been all over the alt win from the get-go. If you like somebody, you're better off really liking them and getting better juice. Jag's over nine and a half wins is plus 176. I got to 10 and seven, and I hit that. I think they can go 10 and 7, and I actually think they will unless somebody gets injured. Good. I love that one. Staying in the AFC South, Stroud, most passing yards, plus 700. I think his competition is probably Dak. Dak, if he plays all 17 and they're going to throw the ball a lot, especially with no running backs, I think would be the other one to look at.

But I think Stroud is going to wing the ball around. They got Mixin and pierce and acres of running back. It's not like they're going to be rushing for 3,000 yards. I think they're going to want to throw the ball and move it, make big plays, and strike big.

Don't have to worry about weather. He's probably just going to get better.

I like that. 7-1. I like the Fs. All right, you're up.

All right. I'm going to go in under our quarterback, Sam Darnold, under 34, 75.5. So he's got to start these games now for the Vikings with McCarthy out. It's minus 1, 12. I think he could get yanked. They could do something weird in there, right? You see the Vikings, what they do last year. Who they have in there? We loved them for a month. Josh Dobbs.

Jaron Hall got a cup of coffee in there. There's somebody else terrible, Kirk Cousins. There's a Josh Dobbs.

There's a Jaron Hall in there. There's plenty of those. I don't know if he makes it to the finish line. He might not get to 3,500, even if he plays all 17 games. So Sam Darnal, under 34, 75 and a half. He'll maybe have a couple of good weeks to start and get everyone excited, but that'll be that.

I really like that one. That's a great one. Congratulations. Great value here.

Well, just look at those anders for... You don't have to go brag about it when these guys get injured or whatever, but a lot of good on there is for guys who might get yanked or injured in that quarterback spot. I love this one. Fandel has Assistant Coach of the Year. Ben Johnson, Offensive Coordinator for the Lions. We love the Lions. This guy's coming second or third in this voting for the last two years. You can get him at nine to one. If you think the Lions are going to be explosive as I do, and I think you do, it's got to be his year at some point. He gets votes. He got 65 votes last year.

Where is this like? Is this bed in a speakeasy in the Futures Fusion basement? I didn't even know where they find this. What is it under?

It's on the rewards. Check it out.

Yeah, it's right there on the rewards.

Oh my God. I somehow missed it. I screen grabbed it for the Patriots. What was that? Van Pelt or something? He was like 250 to one.

When you sent that to me, I thought you were kidding. I didn't realize that was an actual word that people could get on.

I got a Photoshopper here. Oh my God. Those are my two.

I probably have the wrong state downloaded. So Ben Johnson's nine to one. Who's his competition then? Nine to one. Some awesome defensive coordinator.

The problem is it's been defensive coordinators the last few years, so he's got to get over that for sure. But I got to figure... I don't have it up here, but let's see. Wait, Real quick. Bobby Sloik for the Texans is nine to one.

The OC for them. Yeah.

Drew Petsing for the card. No, no guy. A guy named Drew Petsing is going to win. I'm sorry. But good.

Great stuff. Okay. My next two, both overs. Fun to have the Overs. I don't want to get too negative as they dive in in the season, like having some teams to root for. We talked about both of these teams when we did our pod. The Chargers over eight and a half. I'm all in on Harba, and it's going to come down that week one, they're playing the Raiders, and you like the Raiders, I like the Chargers. I think if they can win that one, they're off. And then Green Bay over eight and a half. So their over is nine and a half, but this is an over eight and a half. So both teams to win nine games. Chargers, packers, three to 1 plus 300.

Put that together.

Sounds great because I'm not worried about the packers. For the packers to lose that, they'd have to have a losing record. They have way too much time to have a losing record. So basically, you're betting on the Chargers over anyway, but you get to throw the packers in there at a nice price. That's one.

They don't even need to make the playoffs, right? Right. They go nine and eight. You're good. All right. I like that.

I'm going against the NFC South again. I'm planting my flag in the NFC South Sucks NFC East, more wins than the NFC South. Minus 175. I think this is my only minus future. Where is that? It's in to have a bunch of... They put that in Futures Fusion. Oh, my God. You just got to ask. Futures. It's where the tequila is.

What a bounty this is. This is top shelf? This must be Top Chef Futures Fusion.

Yeah. So I was going through it and let's say the Giants and the Panthers, let's just cancel them out. Let's say they win the exact same amount of games. That's fair. I think Washington is better than anyone who doesn't win the division in the NFC South. And now I have the Eagles and Cowboys against the top two in the NFC South, and I'm winning with those. I'm getting 20 plus wins out of the Eagles, Cowboys. I'm not getting 20 plus wins out of any two NFC South names. Minus 175.

175. The NFC East over-unders are probably 33 or so, right?

Yeah, it's a good battle. Somewhere in there.

All right, I like that. That's good. Is that your second pick or first?

Yeah, that's my second.

Listen, the Rams, I don't know how they do it, but Sean McBay gets... I don't know if it gets lucky or it's a great GM, but there's always somebody, whether it's a third-round pick or first-round pick, jumps out, Kieran Williams in his second year. We saw Cooper Cupp as a third-round pick and just these guys. And of course, Pukunakuwa set the record. Jared Verce is the guy this year, the defensive end for Florida State. He's going to win defensive rookie of the year at 10 to 1. Everyone's going to be like, The next Aaron Donald and everything. They don't really play the same position. Ten to 1 for Jared Verce.

I like it. Who could beat him then? I have one. I have a different Rookey of the year pick. I have a zag on that one, but I like the odds on that.

We could say for that. I'll just go because you're going chargers at exactly the same amount. I'm going Raiders over eight and a half, except I get a plus 240. Minchou, O'Kano, I think they'll figure it out. I know you hate this one, but I have to take a I don't want to. Raiders over eight and a half plus 240.

So that's an adjusted? Right. Okay.

Thank you, Rahim.

I don't understand the Raiders case at all. I don't get it. I heard Rahim on East Coast bias, shitting on the Steelers as having a good defense, but he doesn't understand their offensive line and how they're going to score points. This is the year, Mike Thomas doesn't have it. Then 20 minutes later, he's like, The Raiders, I know they're going to struggle on offense, but I like their defense. I'm like, The Raiders are the discount stealers. There's no way. You can't make the case for one and not the other. So I don't know. I got mad at Rahim. I'm walking along LA, I'm like, God damn it, Rahim.

Don't get mad at Rahim. But if you have to pick three teams to replace last year's playoff teams, you're going to have to have a six and a half win projected in there somewhere. That's where I'm at. Okay. You get to it.

Well, on that note, I think there's going to be three NFC West playoff teams. You can bet on that on FanDuel Sportsbook, and it's plus 550. I would assume it's going to be San Francisco, Seattle, and the Rams. I'm not going to completely rule out the Cardinals, especially with that week one in Buffalo. It looks a little upset-ish, but I just don't like the NFC. If you got Green Bay in Detroit, you got one NFC South team, that's it. That's only three teams. Then if it's Dallas versus Philly for one spot in the NFC East, and then I got my three NFC West teams, that's my path. So plus 5:50, I like the odds.

I don't mind that. I feel like you could hedge that week 17. You could probably week 18. Totally. You can get one game probably.

I can't wait to unsuccessful hedge it, where I have three options and I'll somehow pick the wrong one. Then the other one, I don't understand the odds, especially when we're all in all these fantasy draughts, and he's been the first running back taken in all of them. And yet, Brees Hall to win the rushing title is plus 950. And I don't understand why the odds aren't better. Because if you told me, Pick somebody to win the rushing title, just with no odds, just who do you think is going to win the rushing title? I would pick Brees Hall. So plus 950 sounds fantastic. Sign me up.

Not bad. Talk about a category where only three guys can If you've done any drafts this year, you know that that's the case. Three might be too many. But yeah, I like plus 950.

Why do you think it's that high?

I don't know. I have no idea. I think they're laughing at us. You try to figure out which running back is good. Now we're going to have some guy you've never even heard of, Jalen Wright or something.

So the odds are Macafre plus 650, Béjan, 7:1, who, by the way, has all gear on his team, who's going to still get a lot of carries. Taylor, 8:1. Brees, 9-1, Barkley, 10:1, Derek Henry, 11:1. I feel like that's my favorite.

I guess because Macafree is like the Belcow, right? So it's just tough to overcome that. But yeah, once he's out of the way.

All right, you're up for it, too.

Listen, let me just go with Jaden Daniels. I think I said it on the NFC podcast. Offensive rookie of the year. Take all his overs. I gave you Stroud last year for O'Roy. It's going to be Jaden Daniels. He's going to be dynamite. Lots of fun to watch. You didn't give The odds are incredible. They're 6 to 1, right?

Yeah. So Caleb is plus 130 range. And Daniels is 6 to 1. And I don't understand. They're both going to have the ball a ton. They're both going to run around. Daniels has higher scramble potential. And both teams are going to score points. Washington has a bad defense, so they're going to be getting the ball back. 6 to 1, it hasn't moved either. It hasn't moved for three weeks, and I don't really fully understand it.

He's going to be dynamite to watch.

Yeah, I'm excited for him.

I just get that. Then I'll just throw this in there. No one's going to like this. Super Bowl winner and MVP, Detroit and Dak, 200 to 1. Put me down for 50 grand. Go ahead, your turn.

I saw those bets, and I have one coming later. That's 200 to one, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, those are fun. Basically, they don't even have to correlate. Dak could win the MVP, and it doesn't mess up the other way.

Chiefs and Lamar Jackson, right? Yeah. I mean, it didn't matter.

All right, we can start going fast. I got Denver over five and a half wins that I'm also going to put with New England under four and a half, and that's plus 270. There's been a lot of buzz on that Bronco's line being a win too low, and I think we're all staring at it. I just don't see Sean Payton going less than seven and 10. He went eight and nine last year, and we watched all those games. I have no idea how that team went 8-9. There's going to be four games where he just outcoaches somebody. So over for that with the Pats. That's plus 270. Then we haven't mentioned yet, Marvin Harrison, the rookie receiving yard title, which I guess he's competing as neighbors and Michael Thomas and Adunzey. Plus 150. Why is that a plus in front of that? Marvin Harrison is winning the rookie yards title if he doesn't get hurt. So plus 150, sign me up, sounds great.

Everybody loves that. I took Keon Coleman at much higher odds because I just... Bill's receiver is going down. Josh Allen is going to have the year that I think he's going to have. He's got to get it to someone. But yeah, that's probably the smart one.

Okay, what do you got?

All right. Let me see what's left here. Okay, I'll go.

Am I going to have more Futures left than you?

No, no.

It's just like tapping. It's like we're at Foohoo to Chou. I'm trying to get you to tap out.

I just have a lot of the same stuff. Ravens to score a countdown every game. I gave it on our AFC pod. That's fine. You can redo those. It's happened once in 93 games where they didn't score a countdown. 93 games. You have to go back to 2017, December of '22 against the Browns. It's such a fluky thing. So much talent. Maybe there's bad luck in a rainy December game, but put me up for that one.

What are the odds on that one? I'm sorry. You're going to give the odds.

Minus 1:15. Minus 1:15. So throw that in there.

That's nice action. Okay. So that's one of those where you're watching it and it's like week 11, and they're playing Cleveland, and there's a fourth down in goal, goal line stand. There's a pick in the end zone. They're inside the 10 three times. They don't score. They settle for field goals, and you're like, Oh, my God. This is how I'm going to lose this?

I put a lot on it because I have a problem, but also because I want to be able to keep track of it. I don't want some loser on Twitter to remind me, Oh, what happened to your Riders? I'm not scoring. I'm like, Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. I I forgot I had that. I'm going to be fully invested in that.

Great one.

I think we have some... Well, you don't like the Cowboys over. Cowboys over. This is a Bill Sal thing right there on Fandle. Over nine and a half. Jaguars over eight and a half plus 230. That's the Bill Sal combo. All right. You like the Cowboys, we're in. All right, two to you or two to Lou.

I feel like you're going to tap out soon. We should have called this the Fogo to Chou draft.

I'm still on green, buddy.

What was that time we went to Fogo with Brad? I went a few weeks- And he wouldn't turn the... Well, one time I was with you, you've taken a bunch of times, our crazy friend Brad, where he wouldn't turn the card over and then he just started moaning and he left. And he went to the bathroom and wasn't seen for 25 minutes, and it was a biohazard.

He sprinted to the bathroom. We went a few weeks ago. I had him at my house, and he said he went to the bathroom. I sent one of the kids to check on him because that's what you got to do. And He said some guy was yelling at him in the bathroom. He's like, Dude, what's going on? Are you all right? Because he was doing just that. He was moaning too much. Don't moan too much in the stall. You're going to draw attention to yourself.

Don't moan in a public restaurant. Moaning is usually... There's no good scenario. Either it's a biohazard or somebody's having sex, maybe with themselves. Will you tell the other Brad stories since he just stayed with you?

Brad came over and he said he's on this, I don't know if it's medication or what, but he said his dreams are just wild now. He's like, You wouldn't believe the adventures I'm going on, Randy, just at the beach or whatever. I'm in a car, I'm flying off a cliff. It's madness. I was like, Oh, well, you got to maybe change your medication. He's like, No, I like it. I'm like, Really? He's like, You know what helps it along? Cotton candy. But it's only a specific cotton candy. So we had an after dinner, go to CVS to get this cotton candy. It gets three buckets full. They luckily had it. And then he just loads up on cotton candy and goes to sleep and just has night terrors all through the night. It's spectacular.

And your kids could hear him just screaming and yelling?

Yeah, it's like fireworks, but it's like 3:00 in the morning, and you don't know when it's going to stop. But the wife wasn't as big a fan. I was entertained, and so were the boys.

There you go. We should mention Brad's in his mid-fifties?

Yes, he is. Yeah, early mid-fifties. We should hope he gets some mid-fifties.

Physically, he's in his mid-150s.

Right. I wouldn't count him in any of these futures. That's for sure.

Two quick ones for me. Seahawks' playoff is plus 168. I like it more than they're over, because if you're betting they're over, nine wins might make the playoffs in the NFC anyway. I get a lot more juice in that playoff, so plus 168, I like that. Then I mentioned the Lawrence 4,000 yards bet before. You can just bet that straight up. It's plus 150. That's just that he has to get hurt for him not to hit that. I don't know why those odds aren't lower. So I got those two. Back to you in the Fogo draft. Who's tapping out?

All right, not yet. Three AFC East playoff teams at 6 to 1. If anybody wants to shut me up about Aaron Rodgers and the Jets, it's right there for you because, you know. Were the odds? 6 to 1 plus 600. So FanDuel has them right around 10 wins anyway. So we'll check that box. And let me give this 6 to 1. 6 to 1 seems high.

We did that wins pool draft that we finally brought back, and all three of those teams were in the first 12 pits.

It disappeared. What did you get for NFC West? What were the odds?

Around the same. Yeah, it was plus 550. But the NFC is weaker than the ANFC.

Right. It's probably a better bet. You mentioned Trevor Lawrence, five or more touch downs, plus 420. He had five in 2022. He had four last year, and he sat out a game and a half. He averages about 70 carries a year. He takes it at the goal line every now and again. So if you get five or more touch downs adjusted, plus 420 for Trevor Lawrence. Jesus.

That seems really high. Yeah. Plus 420. Okay. I really like this one. I can't believe it's still on the board. You had them earlier as the under, which I think was a smart bet, Sam Darnold for passing yards. Yeah. I To present to you the alternate scenario. What if Sam Darnold plays all 17 games? Is there a better bet on most interceptions? Because his odds are 10 to 1 on FanDuel. I was looking at it, I was studying the interceptions from the last few years. It's somewhere between 15 and 19 is the range. But you figure with them, they're playing Detroit twice, they're playing Green Bay twice. Chicago has got a good secondary, a couple of outdoor games. If you put Him trying to squeeze in and adjust to Jefferson, 10 to 1 seemed pretty tasty. He has the track record, too, of bad decisions.

I like that. All right, so maybe we bet both. Maybe we bet like...

It's almost like a hedge against your other one, but we're getting massive juice on both.

Yeah, like a million on the under passing yards and 300 grand on 10 to one for most interceptions. One of them has got to hit. I like that.

Then we've mentioned them a couple of times, but in this This is the sucker bet of the year. I know everybody's taking it. I can't believe I can still get it at 10:00 to 1:00, but Jim Harbaugh to be coach of the year is 10:00 to 1:00. All you have to do is read any of the articles anyone is writing about the chargers the last two months and the interviews with the players and how they're just talking about how the culture has changed. There's accountability now. It's like every code word that I'm all in on in the preseason. So you figure with basically no receivers you would want in a fantasy draft other than Josh Palmer with Baltimore's cast off running backs, with Herbert on a bad foot, although it seems like he's okay, and then this defense that they're trying to rejuvenate and no home field advantage. They're playing the Raiders in week one at home, and there's going to be more Raider fans there. And him going 9, 8, 10, and 7. Mike McDonald would be the other one I was worried about, but 10 to 1, I love those odds. So there you go.

Here's the only thing I thought. These guys are all around the same odds. If Ibrah Fluss, Harbaugh, and Raheem Morris all win 10 games, who gets it?

Probably Harbaugh because they were five wins last year, right? All right.

And then the NCAA takes it from him or he gets to keep it. I don't know. I'm not sure. All right.

Let me give a couple more. I thought you would turn the card over at this point.

No, I could always keep going. Tyree kill plus 750 offensive player of the year. We're always around week 14 if he started, if he's still healthy. Like, well, why? Why are Tyree kill and McCafrey not in the conversation for MVP? It's like, well, because non-quarterbacks don't get MVP. They just don't. I think if it's Hill or McCafree, I know you have Jefferson back this year, but we don't love Sam Darnal who's throwing him the ball. I really think it's between those two every year. So give me Hill plus 750.

I like it.

Smart. Offensive player of the year.

He just got voted best player in the league by his peers. He did, right? Plus 750 seems fair odds.

I might be out.

You're right.

I might You're tapping out. Wait a minute. Where did you get the check? Wait a minute. This is great.

Yeah. Oh, crap.

Oh, crap. Eagles, no playoffs, plus 225.

That's just a fun one for me. You're scrambling now. Now you're running off to the bathroom with Brad.

You're going to lose to Brazil. Yeah. In Brazil.

What are the ads on that?

Plus 225.

All right. Go ahead.

You win. I'll tap for now.

I win. I'm so excited. Man, I had a couple more that I really liked.

Go ahead. Well, you go. You could finish.

Well, I'll do two more, and then I'll do my runners up. I had Murphy for defensive player of the Year rookie at 11:01. Beast. The Seattle beast in the middle. I have not read one thing about him that didn't It seemed like he was going to be awesome. Plus, you know how much I love the... I fell to 16, and I can remember the eight guys who got taken in front of me. He's one of those guys, potentially. Good defense, good coach, so I'm in on him. Got Then my last one. Oh, this is a fun one. I have some other ones I like, but we can end on this one because you did this version of this. C. J. Stroud to win the MVP and Detroit to win the Super Bowl, 110 to one. The Detroit part, we've already discussed that a million times. C. J. Stroud to win MVP, I think they'd have to be a one or a two seed. They'd have to In 11 or 12 games, I think he would have to throw for over 4,500 yards and have 33 TDs, five picks. There's a case. He was top five last year.

I just thought those odds were fantastic.

You know what I'm going to do? Why don't we do it this way? Because those odds are ridiculous. You get over 100 to one odds on any of these. If we pick four teams and four players and just match them I think we're in it in the last couple of weeks of the season.

For sure. If you like Detroit to win the Super Bowl, you might as well do four of the MVP odds with them and try to... Because there's only four guys who have a chance to win the MVP, probably, unless Josh Allen is awesome. All right. The ones I left on the table, best record, Detroit was 10 to 1. Detroit over Houston in the Super Bowl, it has to be exact. That was 90 to 1. That's my Super Bowl pick. The Detroit and Kansas City to be the one seeds, 26 to 1. Wow. You want to take that one for the last pick?

Yeah. Go ahead. All right. That's good.

I'm going to give that one to you. 26 to 1. Who else would you take to be the one seed?

In the AFC?

No, just in general. If you were like, Hey, you bet your life, there will be two one seeds. Who are you betting your life on? I would bet on Detroit and KC, 26 to 1?

That would be it. I like Buffalo a little more than KC, but I just think they're going to beat them in the playoffs.

T. J. Watt, defensive player of the year is plus 700. If you're using that, Miles Garrett on Cleveland, being on an awesome defense where you're the best guy, sometimes that propels it up. The Pittsburghs D is really good.

Stay healthy, obviously.

And then a couple of two Niners. If Niners season from hell is in play, Niners under nine and a half wins is plus 260. And you could also go Seattle, Rams, San Francisco, Arizona, one, two, three, four exact, 20 to one.

Seattle, Rams.

So you're saying San Francisco is going to have a super disappointing year and barely get into the playoffs at nine and eight, something like that, and fall behind the Rams and Seattle wins the division, 20 to one.

I thought that was what I did. That is what I do. I do have them second in that division. But that's not bad. I love them under eleven and a half, too.

Well, that was it. The first annual NFL Futures draft presented by Futures Fusion and Fogo to Chou, who didn't even know they We're going to be involved in the podcast.

They had no idea.

What a win for them. They're like, This is great.

They need a win after Brad's visits. We feel like we owe Fogo to Chou after what happened. We're even now, Fogo.

All right, we take a break and do Guest Alliance. Today's Guest Alliance is brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together with Workday and pair finance and HR on one platform for an epic performance. With Workday AI at the core, you'll make confident decisions faster than ever, and you'll drive flawless business and finance operations with an agile platform. Agile? Agile. I say agile. So agile platform that constantly evolves to future proof your organization. Be a finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. Visit workday. Com to learn more. All right, it's time. Guess the lines. Week 1, 2024. And because gambling lines are so omnipresent, and I don't know how I do it, but I genuinely avoid them all through the summer. And then once we got to about eight, nine days ago, I was like, not only do I want to see the lines because I want to bet a couple of things early, but I know I'm going to end up seeing them. So I sent you a bunch of guesses.

Tell us specifically why you had to see them, because you're like, I got to bet against the Patriots. That bangles teaser isn't going to See you there much longer.

I wanted to put the pats in the tease. The preseason made me so bad. I'm just out betting against them in week one. By the way, I feel no guilt about it. I want the pats to be bad this year. Anyway, every year since 2007, so this is our 18th year together, we've been catching the lines. This started in... Well, you started even earlier than me. What was it with Darren?

With the Parley kid, we used to do it in college. He used to hide in a closet, so his girlfriend, now wife, didn't hear him talking gambling. But yeah, so now here we are.

18 years later. When I moved to LA, I moved to LA in 2002, we had desks next to each other in the Jimmy Kimmel Live offices, which are still there. Then week one, we got the USA Todays out. We did Guess the lines. Then I left the show and we would just do it on the phone. I think I have in a column from somewhere, I was like, this would be the greatest radio show, me and Sal, Guessing the Lines. I sound like I've been saying. But when I got the podcast in 2007, That fall, we immediately started with Guess the Lines.

Yeah, you said greatest radio show. I was like, No, no, podcast. You're like, What is that? I'm like, Pod? What? Then I explained to you. I was like, Look, it's going to turn out good for you. Yeah. All right.

This podcast has a lot of history. We've done it all over the place. It was the podcast that got me suspended from ESPN for three weeks, which I'm still mad about. Ten-year anniversary coming up. Anyway, we Guess the Lines. I usually win. I don't remember the last time you've won.

I don't know. I haven't been you in a while. I don't think so. I feel like I'm ready, though. I lost a lot on college football yesterday. Screw you, Texas. Oh, good. Congrats. Yeah. It's like when you overread appetizers and I still have a strip steak coming. It's like, All right, I'll put it away, but let's do it.

Thursday night, opening night in Kansas City, the Kansas City Chiefs are playing the Baltimore Ravens, and I guess minus four for this game. And what did you have?

I had minus four as well, and it's minus three. So we tie. Can we stop now? We just tied.

So what are the reasons? Why do you think this dropped? What did you think happened?

This Thursday game was almost always an automatic four for the favorite, for the incumbent. And now it's like your team ruined it. You beat the Chiefs on the road, or the Chiefs beat you on the road, right? Patris was a Thursday night game years ago. Last year, it was three and a half against the Lions, and they lost the Chiefs. So it's obviously not the end of the world, but I don't know why there would be a lot of Ravens backers here.

The last four years, they started messing around it in the late 2010s. And then this decade, they've gone back to having the Super Bowl champ post the first game. Detroit beat KC by one last year. Buffalo killed the Rams, 31 to 10. The Bucks beat Dallas by two but did not cover. That was a really fun game. Then KC in 2021 beat Houston, 34-20. They're the only team that's covered in the last four years.

Right.

So this used to be an automatic. Something shifted. I guess the question for me is Ravens revenge game or, Uh-oh, should we be worried about the Ravens game? Because it feels like it's gone one way or the other.

Yeah. Well, that's my only thing with the Chiefs over wins and one seed. They now know they can win on the road. They now know they don't have to win the first game. They could be 11 and 6 after. So nothing really bothers them. But you're right, this is a test for the Ravens. They get beat up here. You think, wow, that's a tough AFC North they have to go through after this.

Do you think this is the last chance this week to grab Mahomes Futures? Almost like when whatever that Amazon day is or when you go on some website, it's like 50% off next two days, and then everything goes back to full price and you go back there. You go in a store and it's like, Oh, fuck, I should have gotten that shirt. Because all the Mahomes, the MVP, anything involving him is the best price you're ever going to get right now.

Yeah. And he has a billion primetime games. I think we said they play every day of the week, except Wednesday this year. So, yeah, you're right. His visibility is higher than anybody Nobody else's. So what is it, though? Plus $450, usually gets six to one for MVP.

You've said this every year that just bet Mahomes for MVP. Every three years. It's basically like a mutual fund. That's right. Yeah, it'll work. Friday night, we're going to Brazil.

Wow.

There's some weird internet rumors about this game over the weekend that it might be canceled because of the smog that then turned out to be misinformation. Go figure.

Oh, really?

But we have the Eagles and the Packers on a Friday night in Brazil. The NFL has crossed a line that they always said they would never cross. We never want to go against high school football. Friday night is sacred. We're never going to do it.

Goodell's imperialism. He's like, F this. We waited around you high school kids. You can play Wednesday if you want.

Sorry, guys. Yeah, he's basically... Goodell is Ted DiBiasi now. He's like, Everyone's got a price. Friday night, eight o'clock in Brazil, cut me a check. Do you think the NFL will play a game in Abu Dhabi in the next three years? Because my bet would be yes.

Maybe not three, but yeah, they'd have to figure it out.

Because I heard the Team USA played two games over there and got like 40 million for the Team USA program. Really? For the Team USA program, those two basketball games they played. The boxing is going over there all the time. Ufc, like anywhere in Saudi Arabia. At some point, Goodell is not going to be able to turn it down. There's no way.

Well, So the Europe thing, we know for sure they're trying to get a team in there, right?

Probably the Jaguars. Yeah, or like a little four-team division or something. Something like that. Something's going on.

Are they doing that with South America, too? Because then I would think Abu Dhabi might just be a waste.

Well, it should be a straight paycheck. There's $300 million for one game. Anyway, Eagles, packers. And my pick was Eagles minus one and a half over the packers.

What did you have I went slightly higher. I said two, and it's two and a half.

So you hit that one.

Listen, I always win the first week, and it doesn't matter. But I want Big Dom. I don't know if Big Dom is ready to handle the hooliganism in Brazil. The Eagles, remember the security guy? He's back. Then you got like a- He's back.

Or a raise.

He got promoted or something.

Got a slap on the swollen wrist, and he's back.

It's like Assistant GM or something crazy, man.

I thought the more I stared at this game, And the only reason I could see the Eagles being minus two and a half was they're pretty good. They're 6-0 in their last two septumbers. Green Bay got banged up running backs people were worried about. Other than that, I have these two teams even in my head, and I don't know why this isn't a pick-up. I know I'm going to end up talking myself in the packers. I think there's some T stuff with them, maybe bringing them back to plus eight and a half. But this would violate my rule. I told you I was going to do five days ago. Don't bet on any of these fucking games. I read this story about A. J. Brown was saying, I'm just not leaving my hotel room. I'm not leaving the entire time we're there. Like, weird shit happens when you go to these countries. So these are hard to bet on.

This is a bad deal for Philly, especially if they lose, obviously. But I don't know. You want to give up one of your home games and go to Brazil against a good team to start off? I mentioned Texas A&M, but it's like, hey, watch what everybody's doing. They're 40-point favorites, all these college powerhouses. Just don't play anyone good the first couple of weeks.

Right.

But don't play in Brazil.

Our Sunday Marquee game. Oh, by the way, Brazil banned Twitter. Right. That was another thing. Anyone who covers this game won't be able to tweet. I don't know how we're all going to survive without- How are we going to find out what happens? There's no All right. Now I'm going to have to actually watch the game instead of Twitter. Sunday Marquee game could have gone in a lot of directions, but it's your team. Tom braided is announcing for the first time ever. It's Deshawn Watson against There's injured guys on both sides. Cleveland's not going to have nick Chubb. They're not going to have a left tackle. They might have more offensive line injuries. You don't have Bland. Cleveland's D was really good at home last year, 13.9 points per game at home, 29 9.6 on the road. Your team has a big bullseye on it. Everyone's talking.

Always.

I think it's the marque of the game, right?

That's fine. I'll take that. There are some others I'm interested in, but In Cleveland, Browns, Cowboys, and I have the Cowboys favorite by one and a half over the Browns. Well, I hit this exactly. You forgot to implement the Cowboys tax. You'll remember. It's two and a half, and I said two and a half. But you just got to think the big money isn't coming in on the Browns just yet, even at home. I think that's fair, two and a half. Although I could see Cleveland stealing this, too.

Here's the problem with Ben and Cleveland. Well, A, they're not going to be able to run the ball. But you're like, No, no, Brown's home dog, round one. And then Deshawn sales his first pass over somebody's head, and you're like, What did I do? He's just walking off. To me, this is a stay away. I don't know what to make either of these teams. I don't think I would be betting on this game.

I'll be watching it. It's so bad because I've obviously have to defend my Cowboys against people like you and Hinch just cannot see the regular season is different from postseason, but whatever. Then I have Cleveland to win that division, so I'm going to bind either way here. But go, Cowboys.

Yeah, you boxed yourself in. Yeah. Cowboys minus two and a half. Okay, the watchables. I got three legit watchable games. Now, granted, we have a Friday and a Thursday and a Monday game, so we're a little sleep. But first one, it's in Buffalo. The Bills are playing the Cardinals, and I can't wait to watch this game. I think the Cardinals are going to be super fun to The Bills, Milano is out, secondary is banged up. It seems like a nice spot. I keep staring at that Arizona plus 2:15. But when I had to guess this, I guess Bills five and a half over the Cardinals, would you have?

You got it exactly. I said six and a half. This is the Hale-Murrie rematch, right? I mean, no Hopkins on this team anymore. But yeah, this is a fun one, and I feel like we've grown up because I think we would have been like, Oh, Teaser. No doubt about it. Buffalo, let's do it.

No way. Yeah, either you're teasing the Cardinals or you're just taking the money line, I think, for this one. Also, fully admit, you take Cardinals and whatever, and then it's like, And the bill, we're back in Buffalo. The bills are up 27 to nothing. Josh Allen has two touch downs. He's also thrown for two.

What did I do? Eleven inches of snow somehow first week in September. No one.

Yeah, I feel like that line is going to go down. I think that goes down to four and a half by the time we get to Sunday. But that's going to be a really fun one. A lot of fantasy guys in that game, too. Next one is a great game. Could have been in the discussion for the marquee. Texans, Colts. We are going to Indianapolis for this one. I picked the Colts minus one.

Yeah, you were off on this one.

I was way off.

Yeah, I was. I said Texans by one and a half, and even I was off. It's Texans minus two and a half.

Yeah. You know what? I made this pick eight, nine days ago, and since then, there's been just a lot of Texans buzz, including on our podcast. It was a bad pick by me.

Colts are 0,9,1 in their last 10 week one games. Not sure if that matters for this, but 0,9,1? 0,9,1. Last 10 week one.

A couple of things going on in this game. I think this This is my number one pick for the overreaction game. Whatever happens in this game, massive overreaction. Richardson kills Houston, and he's awesome, and they beat Houston. It's just Richardson Day the next day. Houston takes care of business, beats the Colts again in Indy, and C. J. Stroud looks awesome. A lot of buzz that way, but then also, Richardson doesn't look good. And then it's like, Oh, no. Richardson, are we sure he's good? It just feels like whatever happens, there's going to be an overreaction. People are banged up on both sides here because Texan's pass, Russia's banged up. Indy's got some receivers. Indy didn't change their secondary from last year, which I thought was interesting because I was reading about the games last year, and they're just like, We're running it back, even though C. J. Stroud did what he wanted against them. But I'm probably going to bet Houston on this game, by the way.

Yeah, well, if it stays under three, that might be the way to go. We like them better than the Colts this year. Oh, Nine one is tough.

Here's another one I'm probably going to bet. Miami, home for the Jaguars. I initially picked Dolphins minus 4. There's been some injuries on the Dolphins side. What did you have?

I had three and a half, and it's down to three. So I get that. That's a good one. No, you're the one sees the NFL Reddit team. I don't do any of that.

So Miami is missing They're missing Odal Beckham. Barrios might have to play third receiver. They're missing their left guard. Their D-backs are banged up. Waddle and Tyereek are both questionable right now, but probably playing. And odds are it's going to be fucking hot there, which is two Florida teams, so they'll be fine. But I'm going to make a note this year for week one, too, because we always forget when it's 85, 90, and 100% humidity. I always remember after the fact. I don't know who that's going to hurt, but I'm in on the Jags. I I could see spending some Betty money on them.

Yeah, I don't know who's going to hurt either. But yeah, when it's 140% humidity, I don't think you could make it higher than three with two decent teams. No, just don't know.

Fairly watchables. You could tell me if any of these should have been in the other category. But bears, Titans, I put in there just because Caleb's first game. I'm interested. I want to know how it looks. I want to see if they to whip it around. I had the bears minus three and a half at home against the Titans, would you have?

I went a little higher, and I went this. I said four, and it's four and a half.

Yeah. So we're in the Vegas zone.

Well, this is the first week. Excuse me for cheating, but I do use the over on the win total to decide what I'm going to pick for a line. The bears are considerably expected to do better than the Titans, so had to put in the Vegas zone.

It feels like either Monday morning, Sunday night, Chicago fans over the moon going nuts, how good they looked, or it gets dark immediately. This is another overreaction, candid. But it's only really for the bears. I don't think anything could happen with the Titans. That would make people crazy. But there's two worlds with the bears, and one of them is going to be extreme.

Yeah, it's a must win for the bears. Yeah, it is. It's a week one must win.

Yeah, it's one of their must winners.

By the way, I know we needed a Friday game to make this work, but 8:00 early, 4:00 afternoon, one Sunday night, one Monday. Let's just stick to this, please, when there's no buys, please, let's stick to this.

Well, it gets worse. Don't we have a 10 and a 3? Coming up our 10 and There's two 10s in there.

I think Scott Hansen came on. They changed it because of red zone watchers. They're like, Well, we can't have two late afternoon games with the red zone. What about us, the old schoolers who actually watch all of these? Why did it have to take red zone to make a move here?

Anyway. Your game's late, right? Because I feel like they want to drive people to your game late.

Yeah, Cowboys are late after me.

Yeah, they want people watching, right? So next one is Falcon Stealers, which initially I had in the watchables. But the more you read about the Stealers offense, there's a better chance it's going to be unwatchable. I texted you before and I was like, if you had one regret, one possible do over from our over-under pod. Why do we do this?

Just Stealers, you said?

It seems like everyone's out on the Stealers.

What happened between Tuesday and Sunday?

Well, their offensive line is, I think, in shambles. Jalen Warrant's hurt. I needed them to win this game as part of my overrunner. It feels like this is a horrible spot for them. They have the Arthur Smith revenge game because these are offensive coordinator now. But it just feels like their offensive line has passed the point in no return. That was one of the I liked them this season. They drafted, they spent on it, but they've had bad luck all over the place. So this is another overreaction possibility because you could see the Steelers just not being able to do anything. Judon gets a sack. Simmons makes a play. Raheem Morris is jumping around fist-pumping, and the Falcons win like 30 to three.

Cousins is back. The NFC South is for real.

I will say, Pip might be the nobody believes in us. Team. Everyone's out on them. I think I'm the only one that picked them in the playoffs. If there's anyone else out there who... Everyone's out on them. Even on the Ringerpods, like the Bundo and Austin Gale on Friday on the bread zone on Ringer gambling, just destroying Pittsburgh on your pod. Who likes Pittsburgh?

Anybody? You know what it is? I think we talked about it. You look at their schedule, you just can't come up for it. It's the schedule. You can't just do it. There's no two weeks in a row where it's like, Oh, okay. So on the On the other hand, they're going to be in every game. They just are. They'll get blown at once, maybe twice. But otherwise, it's just a knuckleball, 1917, fourth-quartered thing.

I still feel like people are glossing over the defense, but you're going to be asking a lot.

Yeah, if it's healthy, they're great.

The over-under in this game is 40 and a half. In this game feels so undery to me.

Yeah, right.

It's just the Steeler is going to score, I don't know, 17 points. I don't see it. Okay.

Did you We didn't pick it, though. We didn't pick the- We didn't? We didn't pick it?

I think we should have picked it. I had Falcon's minus three and a half in it.

So I said two and a half, and it's three. Okay. Which is probably where it should be.

Yeah. I think that shifts up by Sunday. I think that ends up at three and a half, don't you? I don't see a lot of Pit money coming in. Everyone's out on Pit. All the advanced metrics, they're all like, We're out.

I think it stays.

Mike Tomlin, I believe in you still.

I can't believe If you want it, you want a mulligan for our movie.

I didn't say mulligan. We're on the record. I'm saying if I could have a mulligan.

I see.

All right. I think I would switch Pittsburgh and Buffalo as my playoff team. I think I would put Buffalo in the playoff. But I don't have a MOW again, so I'm going to ride with. It's too late, man.

Yeah, I know. They posted.

Chargers, Raiders. I could argue this as a watchable just because there's so much going on. But I picked- But? Yeah. It's in LA, which is usually a good thing for the team that's the home team, but in this case, the Raiders will probably have 40,000 fans there. I am not scared. I have chargers by two and a half.

I got this exactly. I said three and a half. They don't believe in the... Again, I was just going by the old run to win things, but you're right, there's no home advantage at all. It's a disadvantage in this case.

This is three and a half now. I thought it was two and a half.

I looked 10 minutes before we went.

Oh, it's up to three and a half. Wow. Yeah. Did that move in the last 12 hours?

I didn't check, honestly, until this morning.

I think it moved.

This is a Nance Romo game.

There's some good story lines for this. Yeah, because Harba, they played in December and the Raiders beat them 63-21, and they ended up firing Staley. That was Easton Steck. They ran it up. I'm thinking of Harba this whole week just doing the, Last time we played these guys, they embarrassed you.

That was a Thursday night. Right. But yeah, I thought they'd get a better game. But then you look at it, it's like, I guess nothing else really makes sense.

I think Harbaugh's first game is a good game. Yeah. All right. This might be a chargers defense wins it by itself game. Adams and Bauer's are both questionable for the game. You got Harbaugh versus Antonio pierce. That'll be fun.

I like the chargers. I love every single one of them.

Well, you're beating me in Guest of the lines, which I don't like. That last one is Bucks at home for the Washington Commanders, and I bet on Bucks minus three for this one, would you?

We both had... Oh, no. Yeah, I had three also. It's three and a half. So we tie, though. That's tough.

This is a human weather game.

What do you mean?

It's in Tampa and it could be- Oh, human weather. Yeah, this could be one of those, oh, my God, not that Washington is a walk in the park anyway, but this is A complete stay away from me. I want to watch Washington for a week. I'm not betting on them. We have no idea how bad their defense is. I'm staying away.

I think it's going to be fun for Jay and Daniels, but I'm not sure about it.

Yeah, it'll be fun. I'll roof for them. I don't want money on it. Poop fact that bangles versus the paths It's in Cincinnati. It's our first poop factor game. I have these Cincinnati bangles by 10.

I said nine, and it's nine and a half, so we tie that.

Split.

I'm taking the Patriots and the points. I think Zack Taylor is still vacationing in early September. They got killed by the Browns last year, their first game. They lost to the Steelers. Or was hurt. He was hurt. Last year's first game. Loss to the Steelers in overtime two years ago. The Chase even playing. You manipulated Hinch to trade him Jamar Chase in street clothes.

Oh, in our keeper league. I did do that.

Not sure what's going to happen.

Since he's missing their left tackle and they don't know if they're going to be missing Chase or not, the The Patriots are missing talent on both sides of the ball. I saw that in the injury report. The Patriots are like, We have a good secondary. Does that help us?

The talent's not even day to day. They're just out, huh?

I don't see a scenario where the pats hang in this game.

Who'd you tease them with?

Oh, my God. I don't think they ever told me. Who have I not teased them with?

I like them with the packers.

I like the packers getting points in that Brazil game. I did something with the lions, too.

All right.

That first one. Anyway.

Not bad.

Vikings Giants in New Jersey. I have the Vikings somehow. Maybe the only time this year, they'll be favored. Vikings minus one and a half over the Giants.

Well, Is that what you have? I thought you said the Giants favorite. Yeah, you get this then. Either way, I had the Giants by two and a half. And you're right. It's the Vikings on the road, favorite by one and a half. Can I F this up?

No. Who's home? No, the Giants are home.

What? What's going on? They're not favored?

The Giants are home. They stink. And I think part of this is that I don't know if the Giants have a home field advantage.

This is very bad news for Danny Dimes if he can't be favored over.

Their offensive line not only sucks, but it's banged up. Their linebackers are super banged up. Their DBs are bad, so we might have a good Jefferson game. They're going to be booing Danny Dimes from the moment he shows up. Minnesota is missing Hockinson for four weeks, and Addison looks like he's out. But I still... Like the Vikings. By the way, I would not bet on this game because if you bet on this game, you're betting on Sam Darnold playing in the old giant stadium. This is a fucking stay away.

Ghost and everything.

Yeah. Can't do it.

The Vikings were... All right, so again, this is how I did the lines week one. Over seven and a half. Giants, six and a half. Giants are home. But you say no home field advantage?

And they have more injuries.

They got a new logo at midfield? All right.

The only thing I would bet on is the New Jersey Turf will do something awful in this game. That seems to be a September tradition. The turf eats a bit.

Justin Jefferson again. Sorry.

We don't need to spend a lot of time on Saints Panthers, which is in New Orleans. A lot of injuries on both ways.

Well, the league sent out a memo before we got a line on this and said, There's no way to bet and win this game, so stay away. They went all different ways, but can't do it.

Well, I had the Saints minus 6, which was off. What did you have?

Yeah, I went high, too. Five and a half, but it's four and a half. Vegas zone.

Vegas zone. Both teams have a bunch of injuries already. The thing for me and why I kept looking at the Panthers is I'm not sure New Orleans is going to have a home field advantage this year because of how unpopular car is. Just in general, the fans, I think, are pretty mad about this team and what's happened with it. It does I feel like Bryce comes out, does something, they're up seven, nothing, car throws a pick. I think the crowd turns immediately. It's almost like that first quarter is going to be where it goes. Interesting. Wow.

Panthers' first quarter. Let's bet it.

The Panthers' money line, I think, is enticing. I think that line drops. I think that goes... I wouldn't bet it, but I would bet the money line, not the line.

Again, the league sent out a memo. I know.

I'm just saying if you're betting this game, bet the money line. Throw out the points. Last one, Seahawks, for the Denver Broncos. I wish these two teams weren't playing each other because I like both them. I had the Seahawks. Old AFC West battle. Yeah, I had Seahawks minus 4.

You get this. I said three and a half. It's five and a half.

Yeah, we moved Vegas only.

Let me count these seven.

I'm coming back a little bit. This is where you make a mistake.

You can do our comeback next week. It's 11:7.

One, two, three. I'm not winning them. Yeah.

All right, good. I told you, this is the only one I win. All right.

I'm going to try hard not to put the Seahawks in a tease or parlay.

Yeah.

I think this line feels a whiff too high, but it is a rookie quarterback on the road in Seattle.

Are we going to see a stat any day now about rookie quarterbacks on the road against the spread?

All that stuff. With not exactly a bevy of skilled position guys. But Tyler Locket's banged up. They're missing a pass rusher. But otherwise, Seattle looks pretty good. Okay, two more. And these are both great ones. Sunday night, Detroit, home for the Rams. Oh, my God. We talked to Jared Goff. That guy is so happy. He has no ill feelings against the Rams, Mike. He's happy for everybody. It worked out for him.

Did you know Matthew Stafford used to play for the Lions? Did you even know that, Mike?

Mike, these guys played on each other's teams. There's no animosity. It's great, Mike. Rams left tackle is out. They have a guard playing center. Naku is still banged up. Detroit's healthy. Rams almost beat them around one last year. To me, this is like, if you believe in the Lions, you got to fucking bet them this game. You have to take them. You have to bet them. If you think they're a one seed and All the shit they're going to do, this is a game. Take care of business, take the lead, keep the foot in the pedal and go. Monday night.

Well, the lines, we didn't guess it, but it scares me, this line.

We both said four and a half. I'm just setting up these games and we're not actually guessing the lines. That's fine.

We're doing a whole new thing this year.

I'm trying to get my mojo back.

Guess which lines we're going to guess because we're not going to guess all of them.

I'm just moving on. You don't even get to guess the line. I guess lines minus four and a half over the ramps.

Yeah, so we both did, and we both like the lines. Why is it three and a half? It's a little bit fishy. Tiny bit fishy. A little fishy. What was the playoff? The playoff game, it was a good deal higher than that, wasn't it?

I think people are afraid of the Rams now. They've just burned too many people. They're like one of those boxers. Nobody wants to fight anymore. It's like, give McVay six guys, and somebody could throw the ball, and he could try to almost beat you. Monday night, great game. San Francisco 49ers home for the New York football Jets. I picked 49ers by four and a half.

Yeah, I said four because there's so much Jets love here. Yeah, 49ers are a little banged up, too. It's three and a half. Yeah. I get that. I got the week.

That line was four and a half, eight, nine days ago after I guessed the lines and sent them to you. Was it? Yeah, when I guessed them, it was, but now it is what it is. I was like, Do I need to put something in on this? Because I know that's going to drop. Now, Greenlaw is out. Caffree is still hurt. Hufanga might play, might not. Warner is banged up. Leonard Floyd is banged Ricky Piersall is obviously not playing. Trent Williams is holding out. We have no idea if we're going to see him. Iuk has had a fucked up offseason, and I guess he's going to play.

You get a free four plays at a Rodgers. No question about it. He's definitely going to get in there for four.

We know this will be the healthiest the Jets will be all year. I really like the spot for them. The Jets, they just have a ton of talent. I don't think they're going to be afraid of this game. If you like the Jets and you don't like the Niners that much, then you got to bet this game. That's it. Guess the lines. You're up. As always, you're up 1-0 in week one of the NFL season.

I know. I think I was minus 6:50 to take the first week. Then the over on the wins go away, and there's nothing I could do.

You'll be breaking down all those games on against the gets to a lot. Yeah. This is the week. I'm going to be doing Million Dollar Picks again on Thursday. Let's take one more break. I'm going to do Parent Corner. Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment, be a finance and HR Rockstar with Workday. To learn more, visit workday. Com. All right, Sal, Parent Corner, what do you got?

All right, here we go. Let's start it with... Man, it's been some summer, but Let's pick on my middle kid, Jack. Jack Romo, quirky kid. I named him after Tony Romo. He turned around and started rooting for the Steelers. I did what I deserve there. Perfect for me. Like I said, he's got some Napoleon Dynamite qualities. I love him to death. But since the Met started, I do have him rooting for the Met. That's good. But not for him. But since they started with this grimace nonsense, he bought a costume. It's a big purple plastic covering. One day, like a month ago, he wore it. I guess it wasn't a month ago. It was before school. He wore it to school and then walked to McDonald's and asked for the grimace shake. They didn't, by his account, no one laughed. No one did anything. They didn't know what he was doing. They didn't have the grimace shake. It was only available in Canada. So he left, and he had to walk home that day in this stupid costume. Oh, no. Yeah, it's miserable. And I felt terrible for the kid. I'm like, Wow, this is pathetic.

So a few weeks ago, the Mets are playing in Anaheim, and I was like, I'm bringing the family. It's easier to get to Anaheim from where I am than Dodger Stadium. And I look, and it's $47 for six-row seats. I'm like, This is the best. I'm doing it. So we get there.

Is it $47 because the Angels don't have anyone you'd want to see in person?

Lots of reasons. I thought that was the number one reason. I turned out when I got there, that was not the number one reason. But anyway, Jack is going to bring his grimace caution. I'm like, You know what, Jack, no one's really going to get it. I know it's a Metz thing. He's like, I'm bringing it. I want to bring it. I want to wear it. I'm like, All right, fine. Here we go. This is going to be a disappointment again. We get there. The seats are $47, yes, because the angels suck and because it is blistering hot.

Oh, it's in the sunset.

Oh, it's a hundred more and there's no relief. So all the middle tier, the mezzanine that are covered, they're full. You can get that. Anything that's covered is full. Anything down below, you can roll around on the dugout if you want. It doesn't matter. So here I am thinking. And like I said, there's no relief. So my wife is like, I'm out. She went and sat in the shade outside the stadium or something. And Now it's us. And I'm like, wow, am I just like, he's sitting there in this costume, burning up. I think it's like, I think he's going to combust. It's going to set fire. I'm like, am I just the worst father for doing this? And then all of a sudden, a ton of people come and want to take selfies with this kid. With the grimace kid? With the grimace costume. And he's like, Yeah, sure. Of course, I'll take a picture. And he's like, got all these, all these from New York coming up, taking the selfie and everything. I'm not kidding. It must have been like 40 selfies with people. He was a big hit. He got on the local Bally's broadcast of the Angels game.

They showed him twice. I don't know what the moral of the story is, other than the Mets got their asses handed to him. But I guess this has a happy ending. Where's the Grimus costume?

This is how superhero movies start.

Yeah, right. This is the origin story. Now he's getting exposed to a nuclear reactor.

He's going to be the Grimus.

The Mets have all these so many dumb things going on. I guess he could have dressed as a hot to a girl. That would have been great. Yeah, it's nice.

That was a great first pair of quarters story. Thank you.

Good for you. Good by you, Jack.

I had a lot of ways I can go. I'm actually going to keep Ben Simmons on the bench this week, even though I had seven stories. My daughter started dating this guy. She goes to college. She's like, I'm not going to have a boyfriend all year. I'm going to have soccer. Within a month has a boyfriend.

You love this guy?

Really great kid. Then he came out and visited during the summer because she was here. Then we were going. I had some time off, and one of the places we went to was we went to Hawaii. When we're planning it, she's like, Hey, can we bring Tommy? My wife's like, Yeah, let's bring him. He's a great kid. He comes to Hawaii with us. Then two weeks later, we have to go to the Cape for the Simmons family Cape Week, which we hadn't been to in forever. It's the whole family. We're in Hawaii, and Tom is like, I'd really like to go to that. I love your dad. I'm like, There's going to be a lot of cousins. You definitely don't want to go to this. He's like, No, it'll be fine. I'm good and stuff like that. Anyway, he comes to the Cape with us, and then they leave. Instead of going back to where he's from in Miami, he just decides to go to Boston because he always started soccer, and ends up staying with my dad for another week. He's as in as I've seen a college boyfriend with the family. I don't know what...

From everything I laid out, and they're almost at a year, I mean, the odds of somebody with their marrying their college boyfriend, I think it's what? 200 to one? 250 to one? No. 300 to one? No. Lower? No. Well, with me as a dad begging you not to marry your college boyfriend You have to factor that in the odds.

You're too young, you can't get married. That's why he went to the grandfather's. The more people you're in trouble.

He's trying to win over other family members. Sure. It's gotten to this point where I'm like, I don't know how they break up, so he might be around for a while. Yeah. I don't know. When was the last time people met when they were 19 and got married?

It doesn't happen. I don't think that much.

It doesn't happen anymore. That's why I thought I would bring it up as my parent corner. I like it. On this pod to just basically reverse jinks it because she's too young. She can't get married.

Well, you don't have to get married next year, but you like the guy, right?

No, he's a great kid.

You want to meet someone new? You have to meet someone new. He's a great kid. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's good. Yeah. So there you go. I I guess my point is young love still exists, Sal.

I guess so. And he's literally grandfathered in.

He is. My dad loves them. They're like, hang out. They're like, what? He got my dad to watch UFC, which you're going to be shocked to learn. My dad did not enjoy UFC that much.

He didn't take to it? No.

He didn't take to it as they were watching.

He's a Miami guy. If your dad starts rooting for the heat, then you have to turn on the heat.

Well, so there were a lot of Miami jokes. My dad was wearing his Celtics Championship hat the entire There was a lot of, Hey, Miami didn't do... Miami didn't do anything in the offseason. The heat, a lot of two jokes. It's good. It's a nice little healthy mix for a feeling. I love it.

Anyway, there you go. I met him That's a nice guy. I met him, too. Nice guy. Paracorner.

Young Love exists, and the Grimmus might be a new superhero origin movie. That's Paracorner for Week One. Good Lord. I guess that's it for the pod, actually. Thank you for producing. Kyle Creighton, as always. You can watch video from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. My camera works. You can see Sal on not only in Against All Ods, not only in Through the Ringer, Cousin Sal's winning weekend is back.

I have Tony Romo on this week, Simmons. Wow. We went for an hour. I don't know how much we're going to use. Holy shit. He thanked me afterwards for the reps. He's like, Thanks, man.

He's like, I got to- Yeah, he needed that. He's getting his sea legs back.

I announced he's going to be on every week. We'll see if that happens. But let me just say, I know the podcast is over, but I do this new thing now on Cousin Sal's Winning Weekend. It's called the Cudding Sal's Winning Weekend. I asked Ron Darling if he was locked in the broadcasting booth, who he would eat first. Keith Hernand, those are Gary Cohen. I put Drew Brees on the spot, who he would throw in federal prison on that NFC Championship game thing with the referees. I got Romo Good. I want to ask you. This is a cousin's conundrum. We just give everybody a taste. A law comes out that no city can host more than two teams from the major sports league. Boston has given you the power, Simmons, to decide who stays and who moves to Des Moines. Which two leave? Celtics, Bruins, Patriots, Red Sox.

Oh, wow. I can not answer. I don't like the Bruins owner, so that one's easy.

I know that one's easy. I knew that was easy.

Celtics have to stay for me.

I know it. Yeah. This is the one.

I'd probably keep the Red Sox. It would be too weird not to have Fenway Park in the Red Sox. Really? The Pats gave us six Super Bowl. They play in Foxborough. I'll just bet on all the NFL teams. I'll be fine.

The Des Moines Patriots.

All right. Yeah. They almost moved a few times.

All right.

You see, one of the reasons you're such an evil genius is because you root for teams outside of New York. There's no way for you to answer this question that makes you look bad.

The Mets get to stay. Yeah, you have your own conundrum. That's fine.

Unbelievable. All right, because as always, good job by you.

Good job by you, buddy.

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